#I am unwell about a fictional man
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Long Live Evil has me by the throat and I made a Key playlist
(I don't have a spotify account so it's on Youtube Music don't hate me) find it here
Take Me to Church - Hozier
Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies, I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
2. I Love You Like an Alcoholic - The Taxpayers
One last kiss, I love you like an alcoholic, One last kiss, I love you like a statuette, One last kiss, I need you like I need a broken leg
3. Oceanographer's Choice - The Mountain Goats
Look at that, Would you look at that, We're throwing off sparks, What will I do when I don't have you, To hold onto in the dark?
4. Howl - Florence + The Machine
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound, I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground, And howl, Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers, Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters
5. From Eden - Hozier
Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago, Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword, Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know, I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
6. Bad Things - Jace Everett
I don't know what you've done to me, But I know this much is true, I wanna do bad things with you
7. It Will Come Back - Hozier
Don't let me in with no intention to keep me, Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me, Honey, don't feed me, I will come back, It can't be unlearned, I've known the warmth of your doorways, Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you
8. Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, You better run, better run outrun my gun
9. Hurt - Johnny Cash
Everyone I know goes away, In the end, And you could have it all, My empire of dirt, I will let you down, I will make you hurt
10. We Will Commit Wolf Murder - of Montreal
Something's terrorized my psyche to get even, Lately, you're the only human I believe in
11. Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows) - Fall Out Boy
I used to obsess over living, Now I only obsess over you
12. Fever - Magpie Cinema Club
Romeo loved Juliet, Juliet she felt the same, but when she put her arms around him, He said, "Julie baby you're to blame, Thou giveth fever"
13. Seven Devils - Florence + The Machine
See, I was dead when I woke up this morning, I'll be dead before the day is done, Before the day is done, And now all your love will be exorcised, And we will find you saying it's to be better now
14. Dust Bowl Dance - Mumford & Sons
There will come a time I will look in your eye, You will pray to the God that you always denied, Then I'll go out back, and I'll get my gun, I'll say, "You haven't met me, I am the only son"
15. Monster - Ron Pope
Make me a monster, Make me a beast, Prey on my weakness, Become my disease, I've been lovesick and empty, Cold and I'm trembling
16. Dirty Little Animals - Bones UK
It makes your blood run hot, It makes your spit taste sweet, It makes you feel more alive, Than you have ever been
#I know there's a lot of Hozier#But if it fits ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#long live evil#sarah rees brennan#let's all pretend that every time a gun is mentioned#they actually mean a knife#Anyway#I love Key so much#I support Key rights#but more than that I support Key wrongs#I am unwell about a fictional man
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#d20 spoilers#fantasy high#ribbittrobbit#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high#d20 fanart#spoilers#figueroth faeth#fig faeth#ankarna#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#not to be utterly insane but i feel like the original drawing was missing something and now i fucking get it#and i feel like these are oracular visions and im insane now#brb gonna 3d model a temple and then paint both layers of frescos#jfc im unwell about these fictional teens#also yeah i draw pretty fast bec i can't sit still and watch actual play i usually work on animation shit#but man oh man has this one got me in a fucking chokehold#its literally 4:19 am guys
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assorted 🦚 HCs i'm probably never going to do anything with and am thus releasing into the wild:
🩵 aventurine's hair is only wavy when it's humid - but coming from a desert planet, basically any humidity above 0% counts as such, so in effect it's now permanently wavy. (on sigonia it only showed when it rained, which was such an infrequent blessing that it was seen as good luck - which, at this point, is just another facet of that grand cosmic joke at his expense. permanently lucky, right?)
🩵 he doesn't hide his brand scar because it makes people visibly uncomfortable to see it, and he's never been a non-confrontational person. sure, he'll twist himself into all kinds of more palatable shapes in order to play a role or fulfill expectations - but there are some things he doesn't want people to be able to ignore. (if you want to look at me, you have to look at what the world did to me. you don't get to look away.)
🩵 he doesn't make it common knowledge that he never learned to swim; he'll happily sip mai tais under the shade of a beach umbrella, but no one's ever seen him get in the water. (ratio swims like a fish, but the "wet shirtless ratio" factor overrides any jealousy he might feel over this.)
🩵 he has mixed feelings about rain until he has to be In The Rain, at which point he becomes the world's saddest wettest cat about it. and yes, some of it's about evoking bad memories - but the sensation of cold wet clothes clinging to him is also just physically uncomfortable.
also this doesn't really fit here but i don't want to make a separate post lmao, the ingame descriptions of the avgins and the halovians are making me slightly insane
halovians:
A revered race esteemed for their enchanting voices and captivating appearance, widely adored throughout the universe. They seem born into the love and admiration of other species and peoples. Halovians are blessed with shrewdness and few can peer past their mysterious and elegant smiles.
avgins:
The Avgins are blessed with attractive facial features, beautiful eyes, and an innate wealth of emotional intelligence, all of which effortlessly endear themselves to any strangers. However, these inborn talents are the exact reason they draw jealousy and ire from others.
the descriptions are so incredibly similar and yet their reception is polar opposite!! i feel a very normal amount of emotion about this
#not even getting into how gaiathra triclops is “depicted as a left palm with 3 eyes” which is just a hamsa symbol with 2 extra eyes#or how the irl kakava festival is about baba (father) fingo and bb kakavasha called the mother goddess “mama fenge”#does this mean he would've called his dad “baba?” would he refer to himself as the cat-cakes' “baba?”#i am once again unwell about a fictional blond man 😔 it will happen again#hsr#hsr meta#aventurine#ratiorine#(even tho ratio himself is sir not appearing in this post)#also there needs to be a teal heart emoji. extremely rude that there isn't
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Shima is it Coralaw 👀👀👀
...................MAYBE
#Shima answers questions#Coralaw#NDJKASNMKJDSADSA#To be 100% clear I do NOT ship Law as a 13 year old child I ship him as an adult#They are both consenting adults!!#...At least in the context of an AU where Cora is alive!! And they reunited as adults!#Also the 13 years of separation and Law's devotion and dedication to Cora i.e. his tattoos his pirate crew#his jolly roger and his revenge quest on Doflamingo AND the intense pining got to me OKAY#No matter how you look at their relationship Law's devotion to Cora is NOT normal. That is not heterosexual behavior. LMAO#The dependency is so unhealthy and I am unwell.#At the VERY least I can definitely see it being one-sided on Law's end#Again you do not devote 13 years of your life to killing a man for someone and classify that as normal#Law didn't spend that amount of time on his parents OR his sister#It was just Cora. Squinting eyes emoji#Also I should have expected this when I made that post a month ago about them being platonic soulmates#Bc they ARE. And they could be...MORE#Anyway if this makes any of you uncomfy that is perfectly fine and valid#I probably won't talk about them in a shipping context too often anyway I just figured I'd bring it up!#You can block the tag or unfollow it's fine 👍#Just pwease no steppy#At the end of the day they are fictional characters. They are not real#Also iykyk but I blame a certain someone's amazing comic series for this. I have been CONVERTED#Listen I just want them to hug and hold hands okay. That is all 🥺#One Piece
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ok i keep seeing people say that the captain must have served in WWI because of his age. Personally, I don't think he did because of how he behaves in the flashbacks in Redding Weddy (and, more obviously, his lack of medals showing a lack of involvement) but I don't think we'll ever know for sure, it doesn't seem important to his character and he hasn't made any references to anything outside of WWII let alone the first one. So just for kicks, here's a list of possible reasons the Captain didn't serve:
Reserved Occupation: conscription exempted a lot of people due to a variety of reasons and about 1/3 eligible men were exempted due to RO. Basically it means that men who were in jobs considered important could only be conscripted in a very narrow age margin (they could volunteer but they didn't have to go) such as vets, clergymen, miners (complicated situation for that one), and a variety of men who worked in engineering or industrial related jobs (including those who worked in munitions (sound familiar?))
Health: there's a whole variety of health problems that could exempt an otherwise fit man including asthma, arthritis, a rash even. It could literally have been a passing illness or a childhood problem that passed by the time WWII rolled around, just a bit of bad luck that hit him at just the wrong time (or it could have been bad knees that he lied about 20 years later)
Conscientious Objection: I don't think it's this one, that guy loves war, he wants to fight so bad, but I'm not going to just not put it here
Age: LISTEN. We don't know the Captain's canon age. At his youngest I would say he was born in 1900, putting him at 46ish when he died (the age Ben was when Ghosts first started (he could easily be older and in fact probably is idk (Ben help me out here ple-))) which would mean when the war kicked off he was 14 and conscription began he was only 16. He would have hit conscription age at 18 in 1918 which was the year the war ended. Conscription continued until 1920 but the fighting was "officially" over so they wouldn't have been calling on as many people and he might have been passed over for someone more fit, more healthy, less reserved occupationy etc. etc. I don't think it was this one either but for posterity here it is. Or he was conscripted late which would lead to
Training: This one happened to my own relative during WWI. If Cap came of age during the war, which he would have if he died anywhere between the ages of 46-50, he would have been conscripted and trained in England during the war. If the war ended while he was still in training he might never have been sent out at all despite being the right age for it. Any of the above could also have caused this - a bad rash, a nasty cough, being too young, working in a factory building ships, and so on - but it might very well have happened and would have prevented him from seeing any medal-worthy action or getting the experience needed to make him less of a nervous wreck leading to the Cap we see in Redding Weddy
To conclude: the Captain might have served in WWI but he could just as easily not have. We'll probably never know and any interpretation of his backstory is both valid and a very interesting read into his character
#long post //#fr though he's got no medals from WWI in the flashbacks that's the most damning evidence in my eyes#no one think i'm angry please i'm not i just fucking love history and theorizing about fictional men#bbc ghosts#bbc ghosts captain#redding weddy#genuinely fr i'm not vaguing anyone i am simply unwell in the head about this man
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Charlie slimecicle saying that he was crying during a moment while bizly and condi were deafened messing around is making me worry so much like sir that was so outa pocket i dont wanna think about what grizz does to gillion im literally on vacation i will not stop thinking about this until the next ep goes live wtf wtf
#jrwi#jrwi riptide#just roll with it#gillion tidestrider#slimecicle#charlie slimecicle#he said this in a reply on twitter#i am so mentally unwell this is literally all i can think about#like yall#im gonna fuckin cry at my bros house and when he asks me why tf im crying#how do i tell him its over a fictional fish man
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It’s hard for me to verbally explain the anti semitism and just gross treatment of creatures and other beings within jkr work, so I’m gunna try to do it here as it’s been brewing in my mind. Mind you I havent played not read all of Harry Potter but it’s just…
You can have a goblin character that is not a purposeful demeaning racism, and still falls into the tropes. Jewish people have been made into demons our others to be controlled and feared for a long Long time. Goblins are not inherently bad to write about, but it’s the fact that they have to be controlled by “proper wizards” and are not allowed self determination or really valued for what they do. The goblin with their gold is a historic stereotype to dehumanize Jewish people who were forced in banks and law offices because they were not allowed in other trades. I believe the goblins also aren’t allowed wands when they are magic beings themselves. They are seen as lesser than human wizards, and in need of a human wizard’s guidance and control.
And than ancient magic is seen as evil is really, a colonizer mind set. It works within a mindset that indigenous beliefs or none dominate religions are already gone and dead, or striving to take over. instead of struggling to survive while under colonization. Magic is magic, one formalized to a system Europeans understand and the other not. All can be harmful, but it’s because they’re a tool. Having a whole plot around ancient magic being a thing to fear, tame, and goblins being a dangerous group to tame / beinging manipulated by a wizard for their own revolt is jsut, grosser than the words I have.
Let alone how house elf’s loose themselves when not in service. And that hermonie is made fun of for trying to be there for their rights. There is a history of house spirits, but not in the master servant dynamic. They are there own beings who will take care of your house if you respect them, and will destroy and annoy you if you are cruel or have bad habits. Because they’re spirit of the House, not your ownership.
If Harry Potter acted as simply a world not meant to be perfect, it wouldn’t nearly be as bad. But jkrolling actively funds terfs and centers to help sa victims while demeaning anyone who is trans. I don’t think all of these beats were maliciously done, but it needs to be looked on critically and not accepted blindly
For someone much more well thought than me I recommend the The Dark Fantastic by Ebony Elizabeth Thomas , she really puts well how we demean and other beings and darkness within stories and how that can reveal things about our character. Not all of it is consciously or maliciously done, but it still has an impact
#my little sisters love the world#and I don’t know how to talk about this without sounding mean so I mainly just listen and I’m glad they have joy in these stories#but our treatment of the other in fiction often shows subconscious beliefs of the others in our own world#writing this so I can hopefully talk about it better#but I am real shit at talking if the conversation is fast#I’m a slow boy who really does prefer listening#and I don’t want to make my sisters upset! their allowed to enjoy things! and it can be a good world if it sparks their own imaginations#i am just a trans man and all jkr would see me as is a mentally unwell and misogynistic#hullo why are you looking at me#back to class work#and A NOW HOPEFULLY MY BRAIN WILL SHUT UP
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i’ve been watching the great british bake of 2019 with my mum and it cracked my brain open like an egg so i will be insane for like a week probably heads up lol
#IM NOT MUCH OF A REAL PEOPLE TYPE PERSON.....#BUT ONE OF THE BAKERS IS JUST SO.#well im gonna be frank he is Exactly My Type both in 'AWOOOGA' nd in 'GENDER. GIVE MY YOUR GENDER'#so i need a few days to be insane about a real person like those people are about celebrities#before i go back to spinning fictional characters around at mach speed#so dont mind me if you see an uptick in british twinks in ties and out of context textposts i am Unwell <3#something something its MY blog and I get to be deranged about the hot little baking twink#idk all the bakers seemed so close and happy with each other this season im ;-;#though my interest has dropped signifcantly now that henry is gone like who am i supposed to stare at anymore smh#luke rambles#(madly; deranged typing away in the middle of the night)#i feel so called out though like i've seen a few pople say he looks liek thomas brodie sangster and im liek you cant do this to me#then look at the fact that my crush when i was16 looked like thomas brodie sanger (well tbs in 2010) and im like#it always comes back to you doesnt it you little pixie man#something abt that facial structurr i guess sends my brain loopy
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I am a little weird and off putting and it's no big deal.
— enoughtohold
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Mw3 spoilers (just a long personal ramble)
Hiii. So
As soon as the pre-release came out on, I hunted down spoilers, because I know myself and knew that if someone died and I got that information out of the blue, I wouldn’t take it well. Jokes on me, because I still haven’t been taking it well lol
I won’t talk about how Soap’s death was handled or the quality of the game. Plenty of smarter people are doing so.
I try not to talk a lot about myself and irl stuff on here, but will just say: I am very unwell, mentally. (Cue silence because that’s not surprising at all) Something I am very aware that I do, is that I latch onto fiction with my whole being, usually one specific character. For some reason, I always latch onto the character that ends up dead, usually in a way that make them only exist to further the motivations of other characters. It sucks.
So my hope for Soap has never been great, but for some reason I was still so shocked?? I don’t know, I tricked myself into thinking this time was different. Such an iconic character with so much good setup for great character development. I knew someone would die, but ow. To me, he was the element that made 141 seem more like family than coworkers. Soap’s interactions with the rest just livened up the games so much and made them all shine. Especially Ghost. Their dynamic, man.
Soap was the character that intrigued me enough to jump into the cod rabbit hole. It feels very hollow without him.
I keep telling myself that it’s silly to be so hurt over something fictional, and that I can just treat it as a mcd fanfic and move on, but nope. Brain’s stuck in the bad stuff. It’s a bad habit of mine to let something like this affect me so much, but well. Logic vs feeling and all that.
I really did find so much comfort in Soap this last year, that I severely needed. It feels a little like losing someone I know, someone who helped me through a rough time. I related to something in him and felt inspired. I only started writing after getting into ghostsoap, I started working out and I got back into art after a very long burnout. It may be fiction, but the impact is not.
So that was pretty much the worst case scenario of what mw3 could be to me. I always knew the risk, but, once again, ow. But there also seems to be plenty of good stuff in the game that I enjoy. I’m happy with the Ghost and Soap dialogue, the whole team working together and seeing Laswell and Farah and Alex and Nik. I hope I can be inspired by some of the new content once I’m calmer.
And I was worried they would ignore Ghost and Soap’s relationship after their development in mw2, but they genuinely seem to have gotten real close. It’s nice. I thought the shipping might scare the game devs into never having them appear in a scene together again, so that’s a plus.
Bottom line to all this is: I probably need a little break to get my head sorted. The grief is surprisingly real, it’s triggered some old stuff for me (haven’t been sleeping or eating, been stuck in some old thoughts). I’ll need to calm down and become a bit more normal about this again. Part of the grief isn’t so much about Soap himself, but also just the safe space that this account has been. The very nature of how the fandom is going to interact with Soap and Ghostsoap is going to change now, and man… I liked how it was, y’know? Could’ve used a little longer in that bubble. There’s going to be plenty of new fics and art, lovely stuff as always, but many of them will be tinged with grief, and I’m not in a place where that won’t break me a little.
I will hopefully come back to posting and making stuff once my brain settles down. I have so many drafts for fics and ideas that I hope I can return to. I’ve gotten so used to drawing these lads that I doubt I can stop tbh
The version of Soap that we love is already evolved from the games due to all the time and care the community has put into the character. The games may have killed him, but luckily, he’s fictional. We can do what we want, same as before.
I’m not even saying that I wish they hadn’t killed him. The games are crafting a story that fits their audience. It makes sense.
But I will choose to live in one of the many universes we’ve created for Soap, where he is alive and cared for, with a found family and a spooky lieutenant with a soft spot for him. Good for him.
Hope you’re all taking care of yourselves. RIP canon Soap (again). Thanks to Neil for a wonderful portrayal. And no matter where we go from here, thanks for a wonderful year of creating with you lovely folks. Seriously, some of the kindest people I’ve met in fandom. <3
Lastly: fuck you Kevin O’Reilly, but more importantly, sincerely thank you. (CallMeKevin video about mw2 got me into this mess. Otherwise I was keeping cod at an arm’s length, but he’s my fav youtuber, so I watched it. And here we are!)
#if u don’t wanna read: I’ll be taking a small break for mental health reasons but expect to be back and creating for this fandom again <3#mw3#mw3 spoilers#cod mwiii#mwiii spoilers#call of duty mwiii#ghostsoap#wispy update#always feel anxious posting anything emotional but feel like this one deserved a proper update#you’re all wonderful ppl ily#hopefully see you soon !
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Here's my fma 2003 (featuring Conqueror of Shambala) character tierlist. If I had to sum up my perception of the 03 cast vs the bhood one, it would be 1) 03 is focused and interwoven, and 2) quality >>>>>>>> quantity.
To be clear: because I feel that the 03 adaptation does not labour under a desperate need to pity and empathize with its war criminals and antagonists (though it does make sure its core antagonists are more than stock-standard villains), there aren't really any characters I vehemently reject the way I did for the Brotherhood tier list. Even the characters that don't particularly catch my interest or are fairly mundane in the grand scheme of the show I see more favourably than the characters in a similar tier level in Brotherhood. Where I find the 09 anime's character lows are abysmally low, 03 highs are imho astronomical.
There are some very, very minor characters that I didn't feel the need to include (my Broho tier list similarly eschewed equally highly minor faces too). I didn't feel like such inclusions would really be in the spirit of a tierlist.
Anyway, here we go:
Lengthy breakdown below the cut [not spoiler free]:
First tier: The SSS-tier. What do I even say about these two that I haven't already repeatedly expressed on this blog? These are the characters I can't stop thinking about. Whose stories, personalities, character arcs, and tragedies I've been mentally unwell about for over a decade+. They're my obsession and they're the highlight of every rewatch for me. Whenever they're onscreen I am rendered into a rabid howling ape (joyful).
Me @ 03 Scar and 03 Lust 5ever:
Scar: My sweetie-pie honeybear sugar-muffin sillymittens babygirl. Look at my damn username. Do you think I'm normal about Scar, especially THIS version of him? A character like him, handled the way the 03 team wrote him, is not only a rarity but a fucking achievement. In a media landscape that relies on regurgitated, jagged strawmen of the violent resistance of the oppressed, of revolutionaries/radicals who exist solely for the writers to strike down with great punitivity, 03 Scar breaks the mould. He manages to subvert every derogatory caricature that a character like him should have fully fallen into, and come out a nuanced, three dimensional character who never truly relents in the fight against the state military. Where Arakawa writes Scar to be yet another in a long line of fictional radicals made to heel at the boots of the military, the fma 03 writers wrote Scar to show why the people who are targets of imperial violence fight back to the bitter end. And, man, the sensitivity they imbue him with on top of that! They allow him to be vulnerable, to struggle with his place in a world that wants everyone like him fully eradicated while also experiencing what it's like to be a pariah amongst his own people; to grapple with his past and also have the capacity to feel for those who have suffered similarly as well. He grasps that there is no half-freedoms. If Ishbal isn't free than Liore isn't free and neither will anyone else be free. He witnesses numerous times that without direct violent action the system carries on its project of wanton human misery. And it often goes unacknowledged, but this Scar does attempt the route of (relative) peace. He renounces his homicide of state alchemists, he joins a group of Ishbalan refugees and follows his master. Yet without fail they are beset by tremendous violence: state-hired mercenaries enact a slaughter of Ishbalans and destabilizing the camp, they're accosted by a racist biker gang solely because the Ishbalans stepped out of their state-designated grounds, and Yoki rats the now-nomadic Ishbalans to the state, resulting in the feds rounding them up and carting them off to a concentration camp. At that point he can no longer stomach this ineffectual path. If the victims of this systemic oppression fail to bite the hand that beats them, then the perpetuation of their suffering never ends. If he must renounce any future he could have had, if it means he must suffer and relinquish his own life, if he must turn away from Ishbala, then he will. "My sympathy will not be spent on soldiers. Neither should yours," SIR. SIR YOU DROPPED YOUR CROWN. SIR. This line alone makes me INSANE.
We get glimpses of his adolescence, the loss he and his brother suffered, and we really get to understand what solidifies Scar's hatred of alchemy early on in his life. It's not just a cultural and religious dictate against the practice (seriously, can we blame the Ishbalan religion for being anti-alchemy), and it's not just the fact that alchemy is a lethal tool of mass destruction that can be used to wipe out an entire country: it's the fact that he witnessed a writhing mass made from the corpse of someone he and his brother cared for, and the loss of his brother's sanity as he pursued the philosopher's stone to undo this travesty he committed. And yet Scar is gifted that same detested alchemy by the brother he rejects, and he has to find some greater purpose that somehow straddles his previous beliefs. He's a resistance fighter struck down, aimless since barely escaping the massacre years ago. He would have died if he stayed back, should have died when Kimbly tracked down their particular group of fleeing Ishbalans, and in a sense [name unknown] has indeed long since perished. And for so long he was unable to face the pockets of Ishbalan refugees with any confidence due to the indelible taboo that is his right arm. He's displaced and homeless, wandering the streets of his oppressors, trying to find answers to the insignia of his sibling's arm, and finally he's snapped back into action upon encountering yet one more soul perverted into an agonized form by alchemy and the state. He's principled to the core, yet not as a flawless messianic figure. His final victory, his moment of reclaiming personal love alongside obliterating an armada, is also the endpoint of his tragedy. His triumph is his grave, and god. fucking. damn it. that is so---- !!! The way he connects, reflects, and contrasts with other core characters and the overall themes of the narrative too, I-!!!
Listen, I love the mangahood Scars even with the reformist liberal bullcrap tacked onto their arc, but when I say I simp for fma Scar, THIS is the fictional man I simp the hardest for. When I say Scar is right? All versions of Scar were right to kill state alchemists, but it's 03 Scar who was never once wrong. Accept no substitutes, because no one is doin' it like him.
Lust: My darling WIFE. I would make a Philosopher's Stone just for her and no one would be able to stop me. She was one of the earliest characters I latched onto during my first watch of this show 100 years ago. No matter who I introduce to fma 03, they all walk away having fallen in love with her. She's a treasure, my sopping wet meow meow who's also more than capable of tearing anyone to ribbons. Yet more than that, I wish she could have had the tranquil human life she deserved. She's everything to me. And no matter how many times I rewatch this adaptation, Lust and her arc, her internal struggles, and the philosophical dilemma of what constitutes humanity and what are the consequences of creating a dehumanized class of people leaves me on knees. And god, the way the writers very slowly develop this growing dilemma and her individuality is astonishing. From one of the first shadows we see stalking the Elric's journey, a mysterious and malevolent femme fatale pulling the strings, a woman whose face Scar can't shake, to her assuredness in her humanity and her goal to reclaim as such, a being whose patchwork memories of who she once was slowly upending her allegiances, her having a strong knowledge in alchemy even when she literally cannot perform it because she will stop at nothing to shed her shackles, to her rebellion against Dante and the other homunculi, and- ok, you know how we watch Lust gaze at human beings and ponder at their futile existence? Seeing them as alien, and to an extent lesser? And how she can no longer deny wanting to return to humanity as her memories continue to gnaw at her? To the point that she embraces people as people? How she counters Sloth's disparaging, dehumanizing remarks against Tucker's mindless Nina clones and states "She's his daughter"? She defends the humanity even in those that the world would write off as subhumans or objects? She was an Ishbalan woman repurposed into a tool by the very people who destroyed her homeland and she will no longer be their puppet. She was never just a femme fatal, she was never just a humanoid monster, she is never treated like just another villain to be annihilated for the benefit of the protags. Like. Do you understand? Do you understand the finesse with which the 03 team wrote this character? Do you understand why people go crazy for her? Do you understand why she's a platinum-tier baddie? God, Lust is just incredible and I weep just thinking about her! Her despair causing her to desire mortality, and connection to the one remaining person from a past that many could debate was never entirely her own? UGHHHH, my HEART. Is obtaining mortality a drawn-out suicide of its own? If for a homunculus the only way to become human is to die, then was that locket Scar dredged from the grave that never possessed her body his unintentional way of making her human after all? I wonder, as her consciousness faded away once more, if she felt relief. If she felt peace. I always hope that she did.
Second tier: S-tier. Our protagonists, and a worthy centrefold for this adaptation. They're phenomenally written: their journeys and inner demons are so compelling. The way love is the fount of their hopes and traumas, what keeps them clawing through the horrors of the world, to hang tight to each other. All the while this codependence being a self-imposed punishment. Shunting out everyone else and hurting themselves and others as a result. They so desperately want to do right, but their self-destructiveness and alliance with the military leaves pain in their wake. There is no comforting and morally convenient writing contrivances to shield them from the repercussions of their beliefs and actions. These boys grow and part of that growth into adulthood is understanding that the flow of everything, that inherent and unshakable interconnectivity of life and lives, of systemic violence via state and alchemy, means they cannot live as though in a vacuum, doing as they wish and remaining ignorant and, as a result, becoming wretched. If they want to rise above destroying others, they must take responsibility, and how that differs between them is fine-tuned to their idiosyncrasies. How each brother partook in committing alchemy's greatest taboo informs how they view violence and sacrifice.
Like the entire cast, Ed and Al are so human. It's both beautiful and heartbreaking, and one of the many reasons why I always come back to this anime. I couldn't ask for better versions of the Elric brothers and I'm glad that this version of them are the ones permanently embedded in my mind as THE Edward and Alphonse Elrics.
Note: I place the CoS versions in this tier not because I see them as different characters but rather to highlight that I do love what is shown of their outcomes, and that I appreciate the way it ties well with where we last see them in the show.
Ed: A boy steeped in the dogma of his father's science. His hubris and his love tears apart what remains of his dying idyllic life, and it's something he truly never returns to. And yet, it's not all his fault. He's an orphaned child alongside his little brother, with a mind too sheltered from the true ugliness of the world yet brimming with the capacity to perform feats that few can master. His circumstances and choices lead him down a rabbit hole he can only escape by moving forward and changing. He can't flee to the past, he can't remake the present into whatever he wishes, the world carries on despite what he and his brother go through, and if he wants to be more than the monstrous humans he encounters than he has to actually fucking reflect and reconsider his perspective constantly. And he's not perfect at changing either! Some part of him still clings to what could have been, that maybe it could be possible to at least restore Al's body. He's one of the most dogmatic characters in this entire show, and the narrative does not allow him to simply remain as such and parade it around like hot shit. It's not science vs religion, it's scientism and the hegemony of the state (which can include religious institutions and beliefs) vs those seen as subjects or material for the whims of those in power. Ed actually has to contend with his bigotry too! He shoulders a sisyphean grief and guilt, and you know deep down that he will never truly be rid of that curse. Yet he shows signs in the end that he understands that he can't eternally stagnate in it; returning to a world he struggled to see as real and getting on that caravan at the end with Al and Noah felt like he could at least adapt to the task of living, even if that dream of perfect redemption remains elusive. I could babble on and on, but this all to say: I love fma 03 Ed and no bog standard shonen-ass racist is ever gonna usurp his spot for me.
Al: This version of Al is not stuck as a yes-man to his brother, and he isn't sidelined until it's convenient to wheel him back into the plot. Al's perspective on nearly everything tends to differ from Ed's. Whether it's on more inconsequential matters to, in time, major issues, Al often sees things differently from his older sibling. The 03 writers leaned heavily on the solitude and confinement of being the final vestige of a human's existence tethered to an inanimate object, and they explore this existential crisis and dysmorphia not just in the one arc everyone fails to empathize with (you know the one), but all throughout the show. There's a reason Al has an easier time understanding the perspectives of his fellows who have been literally and figuratively dehumanized. He's compassionate and sweet, and this trips people up. So many see him as a nothing more than a cinnamon roll when he's got a much harder edge than that. Far more so. Al suffers a waking nightmare 24/7, without break since he can't sleep. Though he doesn't allow that to destroy his capacity for kindness, it doesn't mean he handles every problem and obstacle with unceasing grace. He sees the utility in violence, he gets why people lash out, he wants to be fully human again and he still wants to preserve lives when he can. Al wants to think of others, but his memory is chipped in places, and his lack of bodily functions, flesh, and nervous system means he feels that others have lost sight of him too. It's a struggle to feel real when your current circumstances have you caged and alienated. You end up wanting Al's body back as badly as he and Ed do, that finally seeing him physically restored to the 10 year old body he last occupied is both a relief and utterly surreal. And without his memories, he was doomed to repeat the self-centered actions that he and his brother had to learn from over those many years. I can't see him regaining his memories being a wholly jubilous outcome for him, but having the one person who mattered more than everyone else back in his life is a trade I'm sure he would make time and again.
Third tier: The A tier. Love 'em to the bone, and even love to hate one in particular here (it's Dante. Of course). This anime has no shortage of excellent characters, and I love 'em to bits.
Rose: One of the bravest characters in this entire show's roster. An orphaned teenage girl who adheres to Letoism in the hopes that her faith and work for the church will lead to the miracle of her partner returning from the dead. After the curtain gets pulled back on Cornello, Rose has to learn to rise above the pain and live. All with the dawning riots and military invasion that will challenge her in ways most hope never befalls themselves but is a reality for the targets of imperial aggression. She doesn't back down to armed soldiers and generals, she helps plan a massive retaliation against the invading forces, and she goes on to care for Liore's orphans while working to restore a liberated Liore. (Unfortunately CoS does flanderize her. I know in my heart she would never accept the military or the Armstrong family colonizing Liore, and she wouldn't see Armstrong's alchemy as preferable to the plan she herself was a pivotal part of executing to stop Amestris.) For as feminist as everyone claims to be, post-2010 fma fans sure love writing 03 Rose off because of the horrific rape she suffers. This is not the be-all end-all of this character, and it's sus af that someone being a victim of this specific type of war crime means there is nothing else to her, and that the writers are simply racist misogynists. The story never reduces her to a "pitiable" victim, nor does it salivate at the very real sexual violence that militaries routinely employ. Fuck you if you look down on Rose. Rose is everything.
Noah: I will defend Noah to the death, and I'm taking her haters down with me. Her pain from a lifetime of being an outcast, used for her gifts and tossed into the clutches of fascists breaks me everytime. Her desperation to escape a racist hell to a fantasy world (that would have ultimately been no less cruel to her) makes sense. She gets confirmation of the impossible, of something that should have been nothing more than speculative fiction. Like the Elrics and so many others in this series, she learns the hard way that paradise doesn't lie behind fantasies. She's sullen and introverted, and this is no doubt an armour for having seen the most hidden secrets, darkness, and fragile dreams of everyone who pays the going price for her skill. How can she connect with others consciously and mutually when people pull away/avoid her once they learn she can peer into their truths? Facing the scorn of anti-Roma racism as well as the scorn for being a seer would tear anyone down. She's perpetually alienated from everyone, and she just wants to be free to exist in peace. Man, I just love her so much and want endless happiness for her. I've said it before and I'll say it forever: I love you, Noah fma!
Winry: Now this is my Winry! I never understood why the fandom pre-09 hated her so much (besides bog standard misogyny) but I was always in her corner. She has a great, balanced personality: physically and mentally strong, capable of being soft and caring, boisterous and contemplative, absolutely willing to shirk rules and laws, with a mischievous streak too. She's not a moralizing package deal to the Elrics, she's not reduced to ship fodder for Ed nor a future doting wife, she's an automail freak and she's damn proud of it. Her having her childhood friends pull away until they're no longer reachable is sad, but she has so many people in her life that she'll be able to carry on into the future. Whether the Elrics are in her life has nothing to do with the quality of her characterization here, and I stand by that forever. Also, her consistent gentle kindness towards Wrath? Providing him with automail and remaining calm even when it falls to disrepair? 03 Winry best Winry.
Sciezka: 03 Sciezka is a gift. This bookworm becoming close friends with Winry, the two of them teaming up to do some sleuthing for state secrets was some grade A stuff. She's bubbly, intelligent while still believing in the paranormal (can you blame her). I love how she stays in contact with Gracia and Elicia, and how she uses her photographic memory to continually help others. She'll trespass into a military facility, go on the run from the feds, crawl into an underground city all with Winry because damn it all, she might be terrified but she ain't spineless. Cheers, girlie. Cheers
Envy: The 03 homunculi and the necropolitics between them and the human beings who make them was the og hook for me the first time I watched Fullmetal Alchemist. And listen, who hasn't been entranced by Envy at least to some extent one time or another? Yeah, he/they/she is so gender, and we gotta recognize that. But what really gives 03 Envy their staying power imho is his far more intimate reason for being dubbed 'Envy' by his horrible mother. For 400 years they have been made a pawn, transmuted by scientist parents who likely never showed him the care and love one would want from their progenitors even when he was alive as a human being. For 400 years they helped sow misery and chaos, grew to reflect Dante's misanthropy and delight in seeing themself as superior to those who can die, those who are not banished to the underbelly of society, those who aren't seen as fundamental sins like he is. All the same, they desperately want revenge against a father who not only mistreated and abandoned them, but who then goes on to form a family he more obviously loves and humanizes. To be discarded when you wanted that love after all, and learn that the person who did this to you was indeed very capable of treating others with affection and respect, just not you! It was you who 'had' to be your father's roadbump to his own self-improvement. And that stings. Envy's anger issues make so much sense. And what I appreciate so much is that the 03 writers don't insult your intelligence here. They are not desperately trying to get the audience to forgive or excuse Envy for their hand in untold slaughter and atrocities. They present his tragedy without demanding you empathize with them at the cost of dehumanizing the victims of genocide. (I hate you forever Brotherhood). And bless the 03 crew for not making Envy a cackling, bumbling buffoon either (seriously, wtf was all of that???) Envy isn't an idiot, but they are barely able to withhold the fury that bubbles under the surface. Also leviathan-dragon Envy's design absolutely fucks and I will not entertain any argument to the contrary.
Sloth: Sho Aikawa et al, thank you. Thank you for taking the snippets of manga Ed's nightmare and making it so, SO real. And thank you, 03 team, for not settling on a one-dimensional interpretation of the definition of sloth. You gave us the perfect antithesis of the fridged mother, of the perfect martyred madonna who is nothing more than fuel for the boy/man characters and their pain. Sloth reveals the lack of autonomy and consent that comes with human transmutation. Creating a homunculus may often be done out of a despairing love due to death, but it is an act of exceptional hubris that disregards not only the pitfalls in that ritual itself but also in the desecration inherent to transmuting a being who can never be the one who died. Sloth's memories do not goad her into racing to reclaim herself, they are a toxin driving her resentment. If her previous self's love and flaws as a person led her children to pervert the rhythms of life and death, to defy the cycle of one is all and all is one and eject her from that belonging, and now she has to exist as a quiet abomination embedded in a racist fascist dictatorship? Then why should she ever accept and forgive her creators? She's one of the homunculi I grew to be utterly fascinated and awed by with each rewatch. And as a bonus, she's a solid reminder that fma 03 was doing it's own thing right from the very beginning: because we see her by Bradley's side. And we see Ed recognize what he has done the moment he spots her. Sloth's final words are some of the most haunting in this entire anime, and I will never be able to land on a solid interpretation of her intent. Her words take on just the right form to slip from your grasp, denying the Elric boys and the audience any ease of mind.
Izumi: Izumiiiiiiiiiiiii! Buddy, listen. If I can fawn over Scar who almost murders Ed and Al, I can fawn over Izumi even despite her having (non-lethally) beaten Ed and Al's asses. She has two solid reasons for being incensed by their actions since they parted ways, after finding out that the Elrics 1) joined a fascist militia, and 2) performed the one thing she hoped, taught, and demanded they never do. I'm not arguing that beating them to the extent she does is necessarily justified, but damn man, I get where she's coming from. And she treats them more sternly because, although she does see them as her children, she also understands that they have entered an adult world. If they're going to shoulder such power and responsibility, they must expect to be addressed as such. She's my imperfect acab queen. And that's another thing I love about Izumi! She repeatedly fights head-on against the state and shows them no deference whatsoever. She'll barge into a hospital and demand info from Mustang, she'll barge into the facility that kidnapped her homunculus child, hell she'll kidnap a state alchemist (Ed), and she'll partake in a coup too. All the while she never stops badmouthing the military. Izumi having performed human transmutation, training kids who go on to do the same, and having been trained by one of the alchemists who pioneered this horrid practice is *chef's kiss* storytelling. Her mangled viscera and its disabling effect on her life is never played for laughs, and we're not constantly encouraged to giggle at the "crazy strong & violent housewife". Watching her fight is also just so enjoyable, her moves are so fluid and succinct. She's a badass without feeling like a flat character. She deserved far better than to be die offscreen, but her embrace of her baby at the Gate gut punches me without fail.
Dante: Our absolutely rancid antagonist, inside and out, literally and figuratively. One of the world's most formidable alchemists who, in spite of that potential title, wishes to live a rather hermetic life. And why wouldn't she? She cannot stand her fellow humans, she believes herself to be above them while no less saddled with their qualities. Even when she can see the truth about alchemy and how it functions, she still lived a grotesque life of treating everything and everyone like pawns to be played. Lives are material and souls are fuel. Why shouldn't she get to do as she pleases when surely the human existence is too putrid to consider worthy of regard. If one is all, and people are a part of this equation, and they're so foolish and malleable, then what part of this world should she see as off limits? And the way the dead religion of Christianity becomes a decorative set-piece for her: how she views homunculi as sins of their creators, the mangled adams and eves of careless non-gods; they have the comparatively effortless immortality that she wants but she has the skeleton key to manipulating matter and energy that homunculi cannot possess. So she's their ring leader, the one who plants the seeds to ensure they continue to be birthed from The Gate. Surely she must have found in her studies of this extinct theology that apocalypses are a means of reconstituting flawed, sinful people and places. And surely she was behind the Mother Mary, Baby Jesus, and Joseph imagery that she manipulates from the 'holy' Lioran girl and her child, and the man who wasn't responsible for said child but arrives in time with a fury that can be made useful to her, who can act as a rallying zealot for the Liorans and play to a culturally religious predisposition. It's all one big, twisted morality play only she can see. Dante is obsessed with symbolism and oozes it herself. She isn't interested in the things that a woman seeking immortality normally would by your average hack writers either, and I love that! This is what makes her both so interesting to analyze and so fun to despise. And her main theme alongside songs that use her theme's motif are so fucking good! She deserves the demise she gets, a thousand-fold, but I'm glad she's the major villain this anime gives us.
Maria Ross: The one military officer I actually like with little to no reservations in this entire franchise. She takes the safety of Ed and Al so seriously that Ed, in his red water alchemic-surge state, mistakes her for Trisha when she embraces him. She goes to bat for Winry and Sciezka by helping them escape Sloth, she busts out Russell and Fletcher when they're arrested and sentenced to death, and she teams up with Izumi to fight her fellow military personnel and Archer. This Maria Ross is why I was losing my mind when Brotherhood sikes the audience out about Mustang "killing" her (though yhe Broho Maria Ross is. Eh. Nothing special). I really l love this character and her kindness. Now leave the military, girl.
Fourth tier: Yet more characters I love. These first four tiers are really for the characters that make me feel "Oh hell yeah, so-and-so is onscreen!"
Paninya: Fuck yeah, Paninya! I always want more of her, but what we see of her makes her memorable even beyond her single episode. Her appreciation for Dominic providing her with the automail that brought her back from rotting away in alleyways, and how she tries to prove the quality of his work to others makes me love her. As I mentioned in the Broho tierlist, I appreciate Paninya's mischievousness, agility, softness, and brazenness. Seeing her in the aftermath of the accident that killed her parents, with all but one of her limbs destroyed will always put my heart into a blender. There'll be times when I haven't touched fma for awhile, and she'll just spring to mind unprompted. If there's a Paninya-centric spinoff or light novel, then lemme know so I can get more of her! Thankfully in this adaptation Winry isn't some white chick berating her to follow the law, but instead a partner in crime and fast friend. If I got just a liiiiittle bit more of her in this anime, she would easily be one tier up.
Greed: Straight up the coolest homunculus. He doesn't get nearly enough time in the spotlight, but god does he leave a lasting impression. His care for the rejects of society will never not make his particular style of objectification of others oddly charming. I love how each of the English VAs for both fma anime play him, but 03's is the one I associate most with this character across continuities. I feel like Chris Patton best captures some of the skeeviness that clings to Greed's personality without making him an outright asshole. He comes across as just a bit more grimy, a bit sketchy, and it works so well with his contrasting earnestness. You can definitely feel that although Greed was never intended to be around until the end of the show, there must have been some time cut from his arc. If only his human self's romantic involvement with Dante had been a bit more expounded upon in the show, rather than being moderately hinted at and more outright stated in additional materials. But hey, what we get is so tasty that he still sits high on the list for me. Also, major shoutout to that legendary final fight between Ed and Greed. The animation, choreography, and artistry are magnificent and deserves a spotlight for being so downright addictive to watch. His death is a crater in Ed's psyche, and his melting form unforgettable to me.
Wrath: Man, I'll absolutely defend Wrath from the naysayers. Poor feral kid wanted to return to a mother, any mother, but most of all Izumi. The slim potential for Izumi, Sig, and Wrath to have lived peacefully together was there, so tantalizingly close to being realized. Then Envy and Dante catch up to him. His corruption via the red stones subtly points to what may potentially allow Dante to keep the minds of homunculi so malleable to her desires, and why she can lock and unlock their attributes and autonomy. Furthermore, Wrath highlights that to exist inside the Gate with a human(-adjacent) mind is a horrifying, inexplicable experience. He fears returning to it, he wants a mother, he has no malice until he's taught it, and he has the rare gift of alchemy he obtained from the same boys ready to tear it back from him. His propensity to wail given everything he went through and everything he lacks, with the mind of a child, isn't some "annoying" character flaw, it's an understandable reaction to a bizarre set of circumstances from one raised in hell and who escapes into the Yock Island woods for years. Wrath, you're cute as a button and I support you.
Hohenheim: Wow, this dude is mega fucked up. And I genuinely love that about Hohenheim of Light. He's an enigma, and unlike a lot of other characters whose time is brief in this anime, I rather like that he remains as such. We get hints towards the monstrous person he was for the majority of his 400+ years of existence, and the numerous atrocities and lives he extinguished in order to keep himself and Dante perpetually living. His original appearance being, as it turns out, that of the future design for Father has an interesting meta-textual crunch to it, but back before the manga even got to its own big bad, it seemed as though Hohenheim sought men who looked most like his original physical form to inhabit. Which has intriguing implications on his view of bodysnatching and what he wants of himself versus Dante's more flexible choice in new bodies. His heel turn towards trying to live as a normal person and raise a family, only to have to (poorly) come to terms that his newfound outlook means he has to accept his rapidly rotting flesh and his soul's depleting capacity to maintain a body. So he abandons his family, which sends his wife and two new children down the path of ruin. He's no angel even with this change of heart, as he sees no issue with working alongside fascist occultists on Earth to return to Amestris. We only get so much out of him regarding his acknowledgement of how he destroyed Envy's life/unlife, but the fact that he willingly forces Envy's fangs through himself as both an apology to a dying son of old, and in an attempt to reunite his two living sons makes me crazy. I love what a mess this scumbag of a man is.
Russell: The Tringham brothers are defo faves. I do have to place Russell above his little brother since I find his flaws and smarmy characterization quite enjoyable, especially as it bounces off of Ed's abrasive, equally smarmy ass. His struggle with the ethics of his studies crashing against his goals very nicely mirror the Elric's, just at a smaller scale. Love the fact that he continues to steal Ed's identity even long after moving on from Xenotime, and that it nearly lands him and his little brother the death penalty. If we could have somehow gotten more of him and his bro, they'd both be higher on the list, but hey. His plant alchemy and what that infers for all bio alchemies (chimeric vs human transmutation vs plants vs what little we get hinted at regarding non-human resurrection) makes my brain whir in the best way possible. As a plant lover myself, I gotta give props to Russell for his expertise in the area.
The Slicer Brothers: Where this homicidal pair fall flat for me in Brotherhood, they hit so much harder in fma 03. The entire Lab 5 arc shakes me to my core, no matter how many times I watch it. The quandaries on the prison industrial complex, on mass murder and the humanity of its perpetrators (which never reaches levels of maddening preachiness in favour of perpetrators ala mangahood), and the power states hold over those it incarcerates and what science is in the hands of the state were formative for me. Or rather, growing up as a teen already questioning why this world and its societies can wield so much power over people, even in circumstances where we're taught to see criminals (let alone accept such a classification) as worthy sites of state-backed torture, this arc in an anime of all things would be one of the many grains that would eventually lead me to understand why states must be opposed and prisons abolished. This pair of brothers are not ethical souls. They have done so much harm, and all the same they should never have been sentenced to an eternity of enslavement by the state. And how does their predicament mirror and contrast Al's purgatory? How does their predicament mirror Ed and Al's contribution to the deaths and suffering of others, especially as dog's of (and in Al's case, an affiliate of) the state? The suicide of the younger brother, and the murder of the eldest manage to evoke sympathy and heartache, even where they are certainly unsympathetic otherwise.
Nina: When it comes to Nina and the entire tragedy of the Tucker family arc, I am no contrarian. This poor girl, her dog, and her murdered mother, and what this does to the Elrics is a permanent point of sorrow. The memetic treatment of her story has some fma fans shrugging at her impact, but I was there when this was the version that people (outside of Japan) were introduced to her story for the first time. Her story fucking hurts. Nina was like a little sister to the Elrics, and they got to spend some time growing up with her. She was family! She was the only person in the entire world, in the entire series, nay, in the entire franchise, who could get away with calling Ed 'little' (Al was 'big brother', and Ed was 'little big brother'). The scene of the Elrics walking into Tucker's lab... The way the 03 team executes this hellish revelation is without compare. The manga's version is nothing, and Brotherhood's is a pale version to 03's. Ed, without recourse to the state's recuperation of chimera Nina, desperately releases her from the military van, only to have granted her a freedom that leads her into Scar's palm (and thereby setting him on his path to avenge the forsaken by killing those who destroy lives via the state and it's weaponized alchemy). She is liberated quickly and painlessly, yet the almost-sacred splatter of her long-gone body will forever haunt me. This story is pivotal in ways that I feel I cannot do justice describing. And her innumerable chimeric clones derived from a chimera-Tucker's pathetic attempts to undo the transmutation of his daughter, and how her philsopher's stone-rejuvenated body is truly, genuinely soulless and unmoving, unthinking, destined to rot- unlike the homunculi, unlike Al and other soul-transmuted people- speaks volumes on how the ideologies of alchemists is what actually informs their perspective on who possesses a soul and who doesn't. Nina (and the Elrics) being present to help Gracia deliver Elicia was also very sweet; she could have been Elicia's friend or even big sister, damn it! 😭 I hope that Nina, her mom, and Alexander get to coalesce into some existence of joy and peace.
Earth!Scar & Earth!Lust: Yeah that's right, a pair of cameo characters we see at the end of CoS, who have no names, no lines, and who we know nothing about beyond seeing them heading a caravan together are placed on par with major characters. Why? Because I am forever overjoyed that, in their own way, Lust and Scar aren't forgotten. Seeing alt versions who get to live together is so satisfying (especially if you're ScarLust-brained like I am). I certainly can't reasonably place them higher on the list, and any lower would betray how giddy I get when they cap off this fma continuity. So fuck it, it's my tierlist and I'll slap my 3 second fanservice characters wherever the hell I want lol.
Hughes: A character who, over the years, I have grown to have quite complicated opinions on. Long before even learning about the overtly-genocidal version of this character in the mangahood canon, I would eventually understand that even military bureaucrats and desk jockeys are required for states and their militaries to carry out their heinous projects. Regardless of his position Hughes, like all members of the state and the military, do not have clean records in the grand scheme of things. 03 Hughes never directly bloodies his hands, and thankfully we're spared from that noxious, insulting sob story about "[committing genocide] so he can live" ala mangahood. But that isn't enough to abdicate his class position against the subjects of Amestris' imperial rule. But where my bias lies, and where 03 succeeds in characterizing him, is that he manages to be interesting and lovable without being as detestable as those who were directly involved in the "Eastern Rebellion" (genocide). All the same, he is a bastard. But we get more time to cook with him, we don't get gags with this dude going cop-mode on fucking toddlers, and avenging his death is hardly a core priority to any of the central cast members when there are far, far bigger issues going down. Unfortunately I do like 03 Amestrian Hughes. But he is a fascist like all the military characters here. As mixed as I am on this dude, I can't completely hate him. Depending on the day I might bump him at least two tiers down, but that would belie my having been more positive about him for most of the time I have loved this show. The man is fun and charming! Sigh. My opinion here is a mess in part from nostalgia. At least he's fictional, but unfortunately the real world is run by millions of this exact person.
Martel: Pretty much the only true war criminal in any version of fma I just can't help but like. I can appreciate that she had no idea what it was that the state was cooking by lying to her and her cohorts about why they sent them all to Ishbal (to incite the 'right' conditions in order to manufacture consent and legal recourse to invade the country). And after realizing that they had been set-up, that they're the useful scapegoats for the state to clear itself of its political sabotage, thus earning a lifelong enemy of Amestris from her and her former colleagues-turned-chimeras is a quality use of her and the former military members of The Devil's Nest. Martel of course gets the lion's share of the spotlight compared to Roa and Dolcetto, let alone the other denizens of The Devil's Nest, and that gives the audience a chance to grow attached to her before she gets killed. I really love the friendship that grows between Al and Marta, as well as her and The Devil's Nest gang's dedication towards Greed. And the fact that she respects Greed's choice to return to the person who created him, and to accept that Ed having murdered Greed was also a choice in part made by her liberator is so mature and honourable. She's complex and fearsome, and I love her. Plain and simple.
Fifth tier: Like it says on the package, these are the people who are long gone, whose impact on numerous characters leads the living into so much suffering. What we make of those we've lost, our sense of ownership to those memories and that love, and what becomes of us in the march of time- if we could remake those we miss, they truly would not be our dearly departed. Even with alchemy death is final. And how do we respond to the agony of a death drenched in bad blood? Can we forgive them? Can we forgive ourselves? Can they ever forgive us?
I can't really slot these three higher up but without any of them this entire story would be nothing. Much like my appreciation for Hohenheim of Light being an enigma, these three remaining as such lends them a force that we have to experience through the characters left behind and the characters transmuted in the vain wish to create those you never owned. I'm compelled to want more of them, but the haze that cloaks them is an integral feature here.
The greatest lesson with these three is that alchemy does not make you a god in a sandbox world, it makes you a fool.
Scar Bro: I really respect the decision to widen the age difference between Scar and his older brother. Having him be the sole adult guardian to a young adolescent who relies on him to do right means that Scar Bro's foray into human alchemy is one of deep selfishness. It's a betrayal that irrevocably sends him into spiralling isolation, exiled yet without care for the world beyond his studies. This singular mindset and his taboo act obliterates his little brother's trust in him, their relationship basically shredded down to a single frayed thread that, only once a genocide is enacted, does Scar try to tug at to rescue him. Scar Bro is smart enough to decipher the Grand Arcanum, and his hubris so deep that he inscribes it upon his flesh. His despair that, perhaps on a grander scale, Ishbal's fall was his own doing for going against the order of the world and seeking the philosopher's stone speaks to how far he has sunk. A portend for what becomes of alchemists who seek the legend and lose perspective on the world around them. But no matter how deranged by his pursuit he had become, he still tried to save Scar. Sacrificing himself was his final apology, his right arm was both his final gift and slight against his little brother. Scar Bro is everything Scar never wants to be, the very figure of all that he rejects, and much of it for good reason. This man is intriguing as hell to me. I'm glad that Scar's final moments, his time with Lust, and what he experienced around the Elrics, ultimately helps him to reclaim his love for his older brother.
The mysterious, alluring woman whose body Lust is constructed from. She haunted Scar Bro, she haunts Lust, and she haunts Scar. We are forever left wondering what we the audience would make of her if we got to experience her beyond the perception of a pair of brothers, and the dappled perception of her undying doppleganger who would become her, or closer to being her, if she could. Would Lust have become 1:1 with this woman if she could be reconstituted into a 'True' human? Can anyone ever inhabit the outline of a progenitor, an ideal, a corpse? All we know is that she was loved. If you step into the shoes of those who knew her, it's hard not to somehow feel a little bit of that love too.
Trisha: The beloved mother of the Elric boys. She's almost angelic when we look into their recollection of her. And still, we can pick out the subtle ways that she was human all along. She is stuck in her heartache for Hohenheim, forever wishing for his return and rewarding her children for emulating his prowess in alchemy. Trisha was a young woman who had to balance raising a pair of younglings while nursing a broken heart. I don't want to see her as merely the perfect mother archetype nor the "abusive" mother simply for failing to restrain her own humanity from intermingling with how she tended to her children. She was wholly human, with all the attending layers that constitute our beings. Like Scar Bro's fiancee, she was dearly loved. And for that she is desecrated. Her homunculus wants nothing to do with her and those who would create her to become this dead woman. Her boys gave her so much happiness but that didn't save her from languishing in her own solitude. Her dying words are a testament to that perpetual depression. The gorgeous track, Bratja, is just as much about her as it is about the sins of her sons.
Sixth tier: Not much preamble for this tier. Let's get into it:
Pinako: All around cool-ass granny. I dig her design, I dig her no-nonsense demeanour, and I dig the tiny peak into the bombastic mechanic babe she was in her youth (younger Pinako was cool in mangahood too but 03's funky light hair is such an eye-catching design choice). She too hates the military to some extent, and I respect that. She opens her home to the extended family Winry brings in, and it warms my shriveled soul that Rose, her little boy, and the Lioran orphans she tends to are a part of that family too.
Psiren: Okokok, listen. Here me out. I know a lot of people shit on the Aquoroia ep (I like it, dammit) for being "meaningless filler" (it's not, it allows the Elric's journey some levity before things deepen, and it also explores grey morality and how the law cannot save people from impending disaster, AND that illegal actions can provide more relief than lying down and quietly suffering in denial). And Psiren gets hate for being a fanservicey character. People accuse her of hitting on Ed and like- yes, she does. But she's a conwoman! She manipulates cops, investigators, and little state alchemists who are actively trying to get in her way. She can see plain as day that her appearance, with a played up sexuality, can trip up the men pursuing her for her crimes. It's no less effective against a pipsqueak teen boy. Personally I never took her actions at face value; it never felt like she actually intended to do shit with Ed, she just wanted to prevent him from thinking clearly. (I don't fault anyone for still not liking that part of the ep tho, but I see this get flattened to "Psiren is a pedo" which imo is silly.) I love her conning and thievery, her design is great especially her cat burglar fit, and that she's a not-quite Robinhood figure (she steals from the rich, but she's not really giving it back to anyone more destitute). I appreciate that despite some of the good she has done for the city itself, she's quite inscrutable in her motivation. Cheers to her for evading the cops to the end. Hope she robbed the police force's coffers repeatedly too.
Rick & Leo: Love these two kids. Having them pop up throughout the show to weave in more Ishbalan perspectives into the story, while serving as yet another thematic exploration of familial dedication and forgiveness was a smart call. Contrasting their ableism with Ed's racism was also interesting, and I appreciate that it's not done as a way to neutralize Ed contending with his own bigotry at all. (This isn't mangahood; we're not playing that ridiculous fucking game where Ed wins a conversation by going "You guys suffer racism? Well my village was affected by the racism you suffer, which is your people's fault actually. Checkmate, Ishvalans.") It's sad when they learn to reject Ishbalans who partake in alchemy, thereby telling Scar to fuck off from the camp. But seeing them help the elderly Exiled Ishbalan at the end of the show was a nice way to show their growth.
Fletcher: Just such a sweet little kid. He has a good heart, and he desperately wants to save his brother from Mugear's corruption. He can't pretend like Russell wasn't poisoning an entire town so he reaches out to the alchemists they had been impersonating. I'm tickled that the Tringham brothers are inverse heights to Ed and Al. Fletcher's just a little guy!
Sig: Top tier husband material. He never blames Izumi for what she had done to the remains of their baby and he won't ever leave her simply because she can no longer bare children. This man loves her so much. Soft spoken, doting without being overbearing, what's not to love? And hell, Meat Day wouldn't be the same without Sig's spectacular form.
Armstrong: A war criminal who, mercifully, does not have some bullshit arc about needing to learn how to be a more obedient genocider. If we focus only on the anime and not CoS, we're shown a character who does regret his involvement in the Ishbal Massacre, but we're not drowning in some perpetual self-aggrandizing pity. Unfortunately how he's written in CoS, "helping to restore" Liore (read: colonize Liore via philanthropy) is a massive backslide on his character. They thought this showed some sort of atonement and reparation, but given his visage getting plastered all over the new city, ignoring the input of the Liorans, and his continued involvement in the military, this is anything but. At least I like him well enough in the show only (CoS Armstrong would be firmly situated in the final tier). Also, of all the military officers in fma, Hughes, Ross, and Armstrong are the only ones I can reasonably buy as caring for the Elrics. The others being far less friendly/'familial' makes sense, and Armstrong having this nosey gentleman's disposition maps better with his time escorting the brothers. Still wish Scar managed to turn his brain into slush when he got the chance, but whaddaya gonna do.
Fritz Lang: This was a pretty funny move on Studio Bones' part. Make an actual well-known real man a mirror to one of the fictional characters in another universe takes some gall. I can understand why some critique Bradley's Earth version being a Jewish man as being in poor taste (that it can be read as antisemitic to imply that a fascist non-human would be Jewish in another dimension), but, for what little it's worth, I interpreted this to be an attempt to contrast class and political positions rather than imply that Jewish people are non-humans in a convincing human disguise (which, ironically, mangahood stumbles assbackwards into playing that trope straight). Earth!Bradley's portrayal managed to feel grounded enough, and given the movie's condemnation of antisemitism and Nazism, it does appear to have been done with good intentions. (This doesn't quite eliminate the bigoted trope being both present and worth acknowledging.) Where Bradley is transmuted into a homunculus (let's recall that whoever Bradley was when he was alive was, in fact, a human and not a "humanoid pretending to be a person" all along) and used to help run Amestris as a fascist dictatorship, it feels as though the writers wanted to show that this isn't some inherent characteristic of every version of this person. I won't dictate how anyone else, let alone how a Jewish person, interprets and feels about this choice. As for myself, I enjoyed his discussions with Ed, and seeing the more introspective, softer, and more artistic representation of someone who looks like Bradley. Hope Ed checks out one of his films someday.
Alfons Heidrich: Unlike a lot of the fandom I never latched onto Heidrich, but I like him well enough. He's so blinded by his passion for rocketry that he doesn't care about working for fascist benefactors. Picture perfect example of the 'apolitical' citizenry who treat their lives and goals as without consequence in the schemes of their society's exploitative machinations. What a great example of what Ed and Roy discuss in the end of the show! The themes of the sciences as institutions that reimburse societal ills and military hegemony are crucial here. As Ed had learned in the show, an apolitical scientific lens only serves to oppress the downtrodden and treat people as obstacles or mere resources for 'progress'. Heidrich is yet another exploration of this issue. The fact that Ed finds someone who looks eerily like Al to latch onto in his Earthly purgatory is some solid mindfuckery for the severely depressed young man and the audience alike. Their dynamic is interesting for that reason. Also he's friendly towards Noah and shows her hospitality when she has nowhere to turn to. Rip, you foolish German boy.
Gluttony: This homunculus gets the least character development of all the homunculi, despite being the longest lasting member of the Seven Sins. We see him from the very start all the way to the midpoint of CoS. Just before Dante lobotomizes him she reveals that she transmuted him specifically to serve as a philosopher's stone refinery; was his human self someone she felt would be useful for such a thing? If we're to believe Dante, it's unlikely that Gluttony had been a wayward homunculus ala Lust, who escapes/is abandoned by their creator and eventually found by Dante. Because then she wouldn't have made him for that express purpose, she would have merely aligned him to be so. And that doesn't seem likely, given that the philosopher's stone is her key to an unnaturally long life, so she would indeed learn to craft a homunculus who can properly act as a factory for stones once fed the real deal. So, was she running experiments across societal derelicts, people who were either already on death's door, or those no one would miss if they disappeared, until she was satisfied at her success? Or did she know his human-self and found something she could exploit to that end? Gluttony appears to have a simpler capacity for understanding the world: is this Dante's doing, or was his human-self a person with a cognitive disabilities that Dante preyed upon? Unless there's supplemental material or interviews I'm unaware of, we will never know and can only infer what skeletons are in his past. I do really love his friendship with Lust tho. That she almost always had him by her side, that she feels hurt that Gluttony was too scared to join her in helping Scar and disobeying Dante, how much he hates Scar for paralyzing Lust with the blue locket, and how distraught he is when Lust is missing- god, when he's told that she's dead? My heart actually aches at his pain. Dante wiping his capacity for conscious thought (disturbing Envy in turn) being the misstep that finally ends her life? Perfect. Also Stone Refinery Gluttony's design in CoS is SO GOOD. It's both fucking terrifying and manages to make me feel even worse for Gluttony (and Wrath, holy shit that fight was rough). And all along, Dante had indeed succeeded in her experiment. Good thing she wasn't able to reap the benefits.
Gracia & Elicia: Not much to say about these two. I appreciate that Ed, Al, and Nina help Gracia deliver Elicia when she goes into labour while at her house. She has an open door for the Elrics, Nina, Sciezka, and Winry, which is delightful. You can understand a little bit of Hughes' enthusiasm for her. And Elicia's an adorable toddler. Can't go wrong with that.
Barry the Chopper: I for one prefer the fact that Barry terrorizes Ed and Winry as a flesh-and-blood human before getting detained, given the death penalty, and used as a soul-tethered guard for Lab 5. That episode is intense, dark, and highlights just how dangerous Ed's journey will be. Without the use of his right arm and thus alchemy itself, Ed is completely helpless: which is excellent foreshadowing for the future. Surviving Barry is when Ed really closes himself off from everyone except Al, and pushes Winry away as well as anyone else he feels is endangered by his quest. And then of course armour-Barry plucking at Al's dysmorphia, which almost tears the brothers apart, means he's managed to traumatize these boys in ways particular to each's darkest fears. However we really didn't need the transmisogynist bullcrap ala the "deranged serial killer who feigns being a woman to lure in his victims" that the writers threw in there. That's a serious blunder on the part of the showrunners. Fuck that noise. But I love how he gets offed: after helping to kidnap Rick and unwittingly leading to the Elric's reuniting and making amends with one another, Barry runs in to kill Ed. Al steps forward to protect his brother, and in swoops Scar to end the fight altogether. Having someone who nearly murders the Elrics but who has sworn off pursuing them after seeing their potential to resist the Amestrian regime, step in to murder a different serial killer who has repeatedly attempted to murder those same boys? Ooh that's good.
Denny: Maria Ross' kinda-simping sidekick lol. He's friendly enough, if not a little innocuous compared to Ross. He's goofy, which is fun. Thankfully it's not overdone either. Poor guy gets cucked by Hohenheim though lol
Lujon: This man's bargain with, and deluded love for, the devil only bought the village doomed by her master's foul play some time and nothing more. The story of his village is one of fma 03's gems. Lust herself never once entertains the sexual desires of others, and in Lujon's case, his attachment to her reads both as too familiar ala her scant memories of Scar Bro, and perhaps insincere on his part. He would abandon his own fiancee and almost-wife at the alter for someone who has been manipulating him into creating a philosopher's stone. Killing him is Lust's way of severing what others project onto her, now that she is growing closer to reclaiming herself. It may even be argued: this is her rejection of Scar Bro and what he did to her. Lujon could not save his village, he could not cure Dante's utterly horrific contagion, and so he becomes a symbol for the limitations of alchemy in most people's hands. And he could never have cared for Lust for reasons outside of himself. That's why I find him so interesting.
The Exiled Ishbalan: The man who tears open the Elric's unexamined racism. I wish he was given a proper name, but in this case, where he is rejected by his fellow Ishbalans for practicing a forbidden science, it thematically fits that he is simply known for being a pariah. He reveals to Scar the Grand Arcanum, its Ishbalan history, and its use in creating a philosopher's stone. I'm glad he gets re-integrated with the Ishbalan refugees as they're all freed to rebuild Ishbal.
Claus: I have a soft-spot for this one-off character. She's a brash little butch kid who leads the local gaggle of boys, how could I not like her? She's trying to figure out why girls and young women are going missing, and what's behind the strange sightings of ghostly women around town. Motivated by her desire to find her older sister, her bravery and cocksure attitude are a treat. It's the rare instance of familial sisterly love in this show, which slots nicely with the focus on sibling bonds overall. Though Claus must live with the terrible revelation that her sister had indeed been murdered, unlike the Elrics she will not drown in grief forever. She moves forward, at least with the knowledge that there won't be any further losses for the other villagers. Really wish her arc wasn't concluded by having her adopt a "properly" feminine presentation thanks to Ed's goading (stfu Ed, your effeminate ass does not get to lecture others about conforming to gendered expectations). Claus, get that crew cut, don that paperboy cap, vest, and pants again, and don't let anyone shame you for living the way you want.
Belsio: I like his design. And he's a pretty chill dude all around too. Smart of him to not embrace Xenotime's philosopher's stone mania as a plague sweeps through the town. He's willing to provide shelter to travellers even when they may be frauds (they're not, but he doesn't turn away the Tringhams either once he learns who they are). Solid guy all around. But woe! Lemon stealing whores upon thy.
Seventh tier: Once again, critters! And although these pups certainly aren't characters comparable to the entire human and homunculus roster, they still get to rep the middle tier. A more lateral tier to the tierlist than anything else, but they'll sit here. Den is the goodest girl, Alexander is our tragic best boy, and Black Hayate is the cutest almost-meal.
Eighth tier: Ok so. Mustang. He's in a category of his own due to my very, very mixed feelings about him. I forever want to punt this man into the sun, but where mangahood makes me want to do so with exceptional viciousness, I can actually appreciate 03 Mustang's character and where the narrative takes him. I don't think he's a crap-quality character in this anime at all (this is not the same as arguing whether he's moral or not; he's not). Where mangahood Mustang feels so performative, plastic and convenient for gaining the approval of an audience despite his prowess in ethnic cleansing and rewarding himself for feeling """sufficiently""" sad about it, this Mustang isn't depicted as the Golden Boy Colonel who gets his government leadership dreams granted. He isn't the "doting father figure" many want of him based on their perception of the mangahood version. He's cold, calculating, a conniving ladder climbing fascist who can't square his dreams of power with what power actually does to its subjects. I can actually believe that this guy is actually internally hounded by being one of the most effective individual genociders amongst genociders. And this doesn't absolve him either. Within the 2003 anime we get no false promises about Mustang doing 'right' once he sits as the head of the nation. He also never leads Amestris, period. By his own hands he wipes away this possibility, rejecting the system altogether. His smaller scale, more clandestine coup actually does help loosen the military's grip on the state (though let's remember, a state is inherently oppressive and is not cleared of its ability to wage war and violence simply because the military is not officially running it). Of course, for reasons I can only speculate about, Conqueror of Shambala retcons this ending and tries to shove Roy back into the still-functional military. It's a shit decision, even where it's left to interpretation just how far he's willing to go back within the military ranks. One of CoS' big negatives. Setting that aside, I appreciate his final convo with Ed. It's a fantastic thesis statement on both Ed and Roy's arcs, as well as tying a bow on fma 2003's themes. Best thing I can do with this guy is to imagine he forever avoids the military and state after he renounces it all post-killing Bradley.
Ninth tier: Hey, they work as villains. I wouldn't change them since we need them as is. What more can I say?
Bradley/Pride: If the 03 team had been allotted more funds and time to continue the anime, I have no doubt they would have given Bradley more time to cook with a firmer backstory. As is though, he works well as the dictator trained in juggling the affairs of a ruthless state while aiding his creator's goals. His seemingly easy and affable demeanour always felt suspect, making himself seem approachable to his subordinates while keeping an eye on useful alchemists. The subtle evidence of the iron hand he wields under that facade kept me intrigued all those years ago. So once we finally get to the revelation of what he is, and when we hear him espouse his fascist beliefs during his showdown with Mustang, it hits! Bradley highlights the hideous ideology underpinning Amestrian governance and its society. And he's not the only character who is shown to believe in their "superiority" over those they deem lesser. Fascism doesn't begin and end with Bradley, or Dante for that matter. I much prefer that we get the reveal of him being a homunculus in the latter half of the show and, imho, him being granted the title of Pride makes a bit more sense given his dictatorship and nationalism. Also, I'm glad we don't have this Bradley characterized as a wife-guy. I'm sorry but I don't need yet another example of the 'redeeming' qualities of normative cishetero nuclear coupling. He strangles his (very human) adopted son to conceal himself and would burn his mansion down around his wife without a second thought if it meant he could settle a match and keep his hold over Amestris.
Cornello: So Cornello isn't some big shot villain but his place in kick-starting the show and the fantastic execution of those first two eps really lays the groundwork for the political and philosophical tensions 03 works with. The start of the show, and the payoffs in plot, character, and world development absolutely would not have hit as well if we didn't begin this odyssey with a white Amestrian theocratic puppet installed to lead Liore. And bless the writers for not having injected 56 different fucking gags smack in the middle of the serious moments and the standoff between Ed and Cornello (or that stupid Hulk Cornello that got tossed into Brotherhood). The chimeric avian abomination he makes and then looses on Rose left a lasting impression. He was well utilized, and his story harkens towards the real life actions of major empires like the USA and its global sabotage in supplanting American-backed leaders into target nations. So I really appreciate the role this colonizer conman (a redundancy in terms but hey) has for all of fma 03.
Tenth tier: There are interesting bits to these characters, but not enough to really propel them into the higher ranks.
Lyra: A hardcore state bootlicker who dreams of becoming an enforcer someday. She never improves as a person, but that's in some ways the point. I would have loved to get a little bit more out of her, but what could be more fitting for someone who gleefully wears her patriotism and love of mass oppression on her sleeve than to have her life snuffed out by a rotting body-snatcher who plays a role in maintaining that very systemic oppression? Also her character design slaps.
Havoc: Like most of the Amestrian soldiers in this adaptation, we aren't fed some version of Havoc who is noble, nor doting or kind to the Elrics. He's (say it with me now) a dog of the military and we accept that as his role. His personality is amusing, as is his eternal failures in getting laid. There really wouldn't have been much point in developing his character tbh, even if the show got a few more episodes to cook. He works as is. And thankfully he isn't injected into Lust's story whatsoever (she is infinitely better than him and would never fail to actually kill his ass <3333).
Riza: Tbh I just don't have much to say about 03 Riza. I could easily compare and contrast her to her mangahood counterparts (as I've done with many characters so far), but I'd rather convey that she (like 90% of Mustang's entourage) never stood out to me. Her actions in rounding up the Ishbalans so that the state can maintain them again in its refugee (concentration) camps is the most despicable thing we see her do. Despite what a lot of 03's promo art may lead some to believe, she doesn't have much of a role within this adaptation at all. Her biggest moment was helping Mustang infiltrate Bradley's mansion and killing Archer. And after finally seeing the absolute Royai-obsessed genocidal angsty-romance shit that is apparently the lifeblood of the mangahood canon (and much of the fma fandom too), I'll take this less relevant, less detestable use of Riza instead. I don't hate her, I don't like her, but she's juuuust interesting enough for me to plop her (slightly) above the neutral tier.
Eleventh tier: Don't take this as a "hate" tier. I don't dislike these characters. This is a collection of characters that are either too brief and simple to gain my attention beyond what they serve in the story, or they serve their role well and are memorable for that particular episode but lack the staying power or charisma to make me think more highly of 'em.
It's a bit of a grab-bag tier since I could make a sub-tier of everyone pictured:
I prefer Rick and Leo's mom, Lujon's fiancee, the mining town dad and his son, Mason, Dominic, the Devil's Nest crew above -> Scar's master and human!Selim, who in turn are above -> Majahal's "long lost" sweetheart, the remainder of Mustang's underlings, Grumman, and Bald.
For the characters I simply didn't even put on this entire tierlist you can feasibly toss them into the neutral pile as well.
Twelfth tier: Characters I would gladly shank to death if given the opportunity. Not because there aren't others in the above tiers who I wouldn't want to stab, but this lot don't click for me as standalone characters. However, I don't begrudge their existence in the show and their utility for the tone, themes, and progression of the show/movie. Thankfully we're never berated over the head to somehow sympathize with these guys, let alone feel for them on par with or above the genuinely more sympathetic characters. We aren't made to eat the military's shit and call it gourmet here, and that's why I still appreciate what these characters bring to the table. I wouldn't remove them from the story, but I'm glad they all get theirs eventually.
Yoki: A perfect example of the class benefits of statesmen and their enforcers, and how the bureaucracy of the state is itself oppressive. It will exploit resource-rich locales, extracting wealth from a captured labour force. Ed knocking him down from his cushy position, and Lust puncturing his cranium were some quality moments. Of course, fuck Yoki for alerting the state to round up the Ishbalans. At least it made his death that much more satisfying.
Majahal: The episode we encounter this acquaintance of Hohenheim's was one of the very, very few I would agree to call a mess, but it foreshadowed some very important truths about alchemy and alchemists through the vehicle of this aging serial killer. Although he does not perform human transmutation, he does kill young women and girls to tether them to mannequins sculpted after his 'lost' love. Despite the ep's problems with pacing and wonky storytelling (it really feels like the writers were still getting a hang of things), I like how awful this alchemist was. Majahal's actions and his beliefs helps cast some serious doubts on alchemists as a class and alchemy as a practice, on Hohenheim's connections, on what seeing people as objects for you to mold to your exact liking leads to, and that the scientism of alchemy should indeed be questioned. And hey, he gets the dubious honour of being Ed's first manslaughter! Woo!
Mugear: A piece of shit mayor who willingly poisons the populace of his town in order to create red stones at the behest of the homunculi. He wants more power than what he gets from his station, and has no qualms with how many people suffer and die. That he wants to use the placentas from the increased miscarriages that are occurring because of the red water is some next level evil. Yet another example of science wielded by power in order to exploit the masses.
Marco: A war criminal who defected from the military here too, but one who isn't given the opportunity to aid a future Fuhrer with yet another war crime. He was better off quietly living as a doctor for a small town who had no other medical professionals to tend to the townsfolk. Even though he reveals the truth to the Elrics about what the "Eastern Rebellion" really was (an invasion and a massacre), there's a certain poetry to Dr.Marco having been party to the Rockbells' murders. This version of him doesn't infuriate me the same way mangahood Marcoh does, but I'm not mad about him ending up as a solid meal for Gluttony either.
Shou Tucker: To reiterate what I said in my Broho tierlist: He's a monster (in this anime, figuratively and eventually literally too), everyone rightfully despises him, and he still performed fewer atrocities than the average soldier, let alone the war criminals in this series. Seeing him used as a secret scientist in Lab 5 as a warped chimera, and slowly growing mad from his desperate urge to, like the Elrics, undo his desecration of a family member is poignant and disturbing. He is truly what Ed could have become. If not his father or Dante, or any of the state alchemist war criminals, Ed could have become Tucker.
Earth!Hughes: For fuck's sake. Yes, he's a Nazi. No, this isn't some massive departure from what Amestrian!Hughes was. The nexus of the 03/Cos/Mangahood Hughes' are a fantastic litmus test for whether or not any given person has the political acuity regarding what the material realities of fascism, nationalism, and ethnosupremacy are versus a basal reliance on optics (bad to be a Nazi, fine to willingly join the institution of an imperialist state whose purpose is to capture land and people, and commit ethnic cleansing). Unfortunately the mass of fma fans (regardless of preference for any given media or continuities) absolutely fucking fails this test in spectacular fashion. In a sick bit of irony, Earth!Hughes hasn't done any genocide yet (as the Nazi party hadn't yet gained a solid foothold in German governance), but mangahood Hughes? Oh boy. Wow, does that beloved piece of crap mass murder Ishvalans. Mangahood!Hughes literally performs more overt fascist/imperialist violence compared to Nazi!Hughes. So I'm glad this specific, extremely relevant alternative version of this character exists. Because he lays bare the gaps in people's understanding of what fascism even is, and what societal structures create the foundation for said fascism to develop, and how none of you understood Fullmetal Alchemist to begin with. Which, shockingly, includes the original mangaka too lmao
Eckhart: CoS' Nazi big bad. I can't really say I feel anything particular about her as a character since she's more a cumulative picture of a ring leader to a fascist occultist subgroup than a character in her own right. She's the exact piece of shit one would expect, and for the purpose she serves in CoS that's all well and good. There isn't any time to really develop her further than that, but I will say that her breakdown into despising and fearing the people on the other side of the Gate was entertaining. Some may say it's a bit on the nose, and they're not wrong, but it flings back into Ed's face that all people have full lives and interiority; they're all real, and as always your actions ripple far beyond your little inner world. That, and the fact that deep-seated societal racism has its roots in governance, and that it will rear up into full scale destruction. It's everyone's responsibility to fight against this. So Eckhart is a useful tool for reiterating this topic. Oh, and the way she dies, covered in the mass of beings who inhabit the Gate, causing her to appear as though she walked out of a scifi horror flick? Love it.
Hakuro: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Hakuro, man. I'm glad we get to see him as some peaceful family man before witnessing his hand in the Lioran invasion and, likely, the instigator of Rose's gang rape. Why do I appreciate that framing? Because it undermines a common and often very successful propagandistic framing device that encourages people to humanize genociders and soldiers. It's a counterbalance to Hughes being the "military family man, so how bad can any of this really be?" This thematic tension reveals that propaganda: "Soldiers have families too! They're just trying to protect the most important and innocent assets members of the nation! Join the front to shield loved ones from the [foreign] scourge! All militarymen are people with grand ideals and pride in their people! How can you fault them for that?" It's a consistent way to embolden a nation's populace to not only sign up for service, but to rabidly defend their troops. Look at the very real fma fans who do this, pavlov style, for both their military blorbos and real life militaries! It works! But what I think is quite clever with what 03 does with him is two-fold: 1) he is not held up as a uniquely ~evil~ member of the military, in fact he's quite average. This is what the military is. The banality of evil is that it is carried out by people who join these institutions for xyz reasons and carry out their orders without qualms (and in fact he's just as much a rank climber as Mustang). And 2) We don't focus in on him as one of the select military/government officials that, if taken down, will suddenly render the military into an ethical, positive entity. Bradley is the closest to falling into this trope, and even then this show doesn't center that thinking. So Hakuro, and all the nameless scum who fill out the military ranks, are not an extra special breed of awful. They are human cogs of the machine, and anyone can be Hakuro. Not because "all humans are evil" (thereby equivocating genociders and their targets/victims), but because signing up to be a cog means you will grind people in your gears.
Basque Grand: The brigadier general who oversees much of the military's branches in Eastern and Lab 5 in Central. He made good use of the red stones to obliterate enough of Ishbal to propel him to his current (and final) rank. The man cares only about keeping everything running accordingly and securing his standing. After everything he does to Ishbal, to Nina, to the Elrics, and learning about the experiments run in Lab 5, seeing this jackass get his brain splattered by Scar, in public, in broad daylight, while moments before gloating about the stone he was going to use to kill Scar? Absolutely one of my fave moments in this show.
Archer: A proud war mongerer thrilled by every opportunity to send an armada in to stamp their boots over a populace. He's a scumbag through and through. Having half of his body disintegrated into the Liore philosopher's stone did give us a great shot of him screaming in pure agony, and on the other hand it gave us Terminator Archer. Granted, I can absolutely see the Amestrian state scientists and alchemists toying with mechanizing human beings (it's no less horrific and unethical than all the other bio-alchemical atrocities they routinely perform). And I can see them taking the opportunity to use any of their barely-surviving military personnel as fodder; if they could roll out even more dangerous pigs why wouldn't they? But the execution of this was haphazard. The design alone is a mess, but I can see what they were going for. If anything, his design should have been pushed into emphasizing that grotesque, industrial melding of metal to flesh. Like a dehumanization of the automail artisanship, have Archer be less cognizant, have us question if he can even be said to be human/alive/the same person, hell, have him be largely incapable of speech due to having half his throat missing. Let his communication be dictated by the sounds of machine functions, with a guttural, tortured noise as a subtle backdrop to each attempt at speech. So much potential for some quality machine-human body horror, unfulfilled. Though by this point the show was in full throttle to the finish line, so there wasn't much time or money left to flesh (heh) this out in such a way that it lands. I can't totally fault the team for having this be wasted potential. And not like it would have made me like the guy, but that's the point. He serves his narrative purpose well. Get wrecked, Archer.
Kimbly: Fascist supreme, but unlike in mangahood, he isn't positioned as a strange outlier to your average Amestrian citizen, militarymen, or statesmen. He's more violent insofar that he's willing to harm his fellow soldiers (and even that's not unique given what we're shown of Archer and Basque Grand), but he's not held up as an example of the "few bad apples poisoning the jackbooted bunch". I didn't know how good I had it with 03 regarding this version of this character! He doesn't get a ton of focus, he isn't made to be an "evil badass" to the extent Brotherhood does, and we don't get this douchebag having a moment in the spotlight to help Ed defeat a homunculus after giving his version of a friendship speech. Best of all, Scar gets his revenge against the man who maimed him and murdered his brother (let alone countless other Ishbalans). Fuck this dude, but I'm glad I can stand to see this asshole in this version thanks to far less insulting writing choices!
God, I love this anime. Everytime I rewatch this show I find so many new things to appreciate. Ruminating on the subtle characterization, politics, and storytelling that each watch-through uncovers really lets me savour the passion that Studio Bones poured into Fullmetal Alchemist 2003. And as my own perspectives on the world and my political philosophy itself matured I become all the more impressed with what they cooked all those years ago. I adore stories that make me feel, and it's all the more fantastic when its done with sincerity. They weren't afraid to tell hard stories. 03 doesn't try to run it back or serve you easy outs. Yet it never feels cynical, at least not to me. Not because cynicism would be unwarranted, but because this show truly feels for the strife of its world and characters.
I'll always come back to this adaptation. Even if most people forget it exists, I'll have something truly wonderful to remember and revisit for many more years to come.
#phew i'm doooooone#i hope i did some justice for my love of fma 03 here#writing the breakdown for each character had me really sit with each of them and appreciate them even more than i already did#had to maintain some level of restraint or else i would have ended up typing even more word vomit (pos)#mine#fma#fma 03#cos#meta
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the jonathan sims pipeline
"this guy is a dick he doesn't deserve martin even though i don't even like martin all that much"
to
"this man is not my blorbo but he has so much poor little meow meow energy that i can't help but adopt him as one of mine"
to
"i am unwell about this fictional man"
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A Lady & Her Hounds
Chapter 1
The Hound x Fem!Reader (Jon Arryn's daughter; Sabrina)
This chapter contains: Fluff | Brat
Word count: 1146
*this is my first GOT fan fiction. There are many chapters with mostly fluff, some angst, and mature content ;) I hope that someone will read it and enjoy it*
Dogs have always fascinated you. The way they create bonds, love their humans, their loyalty, and friendliness. Being Jon Arryns daughter was not bad but, you felt left out most of the time since he married Lysa and their son was born. That's when the dogs came into your life. Some Lord from the north had offered puppies from his newest litter as a gift for your name day. Your father wasn't so happy about it, but he let you keep it so you could finally have some company. Initially, you had 3 dogs, but a few years later after contacting more breeders, you found yourself with a pack of 15 dogs.
You took your time to train them for protection during the conflict between the Mad King and Robert Baratheon. They obeyed you well, they looked out for you, but most of all they loved you, their loyalty was not questionable and they would give their life to save you. When the war was over your father was named hand of the king and you all moved to the Red Keep. You had begged your father to take at least some of your dogs but he wouldn't allow it. Luckily you were close enough to the working staff in The Eyrie to make sure they were well taken care of.
When you arrived at King’s Landing, King Robert made sure to have a feast in honor of the new hand and his family. He was a big man that had fought many battles and almost kept his intimidating factor intact, if it weren’t for the extra pounds he gained. What surprised you is that there were still knights protecting him.
During the feast the conversation around you was like some faded-out noise, but someone caught your attention. A tall man with a half-burned face and intense brown eyes. It was interesting to look at him, especially because of some slight facial expressions he made out of distaste for the conversations around, just like you.
"Ha! Lady Sabrina, I know about your interests in dogs but I didn't realize this one would interest you too!" Robert pointed at the man he was able to catch you staring at.
You blushed as that man at glanced at you.
"Pardon, your grace, I was lost in my thoughts." You gave a quick answer trying to avoid more embarrassment.
"No need for apologies. Sandor Clegane is a tough-looking man, our Hound!" The drunk king was getting more excited by the second. "Tell me Lady Sabrina, if we put your hounds and my hound in the arena against each other, which one would take the win?" He laughed and started choking on his own wine.
"I don't think any hound deserves to be put in that situation. I find it very distasteful, your grace." You stood up and bowed to the king while he laughed at your audacity.
"Are you leaving us already?" Robert inquired
"Yes, your grace. I am unwell, maybe I had too much wine." You were already slowly stepping away.
"Would you like to see the master?" your father asked, he always worried about your health, since your mother passed away from a terrible and silent disease, so any little symptom you had he would take it very seriously.
"No, thank you father, I will go get some books at the maester's library. If I need assistance I will call for it." You bowed lightly and as you turned your back the king spoke
"Clegane, accompany the lady to her chambers. She had a little much to drink and might need some help"
You rolled your eyes as you walked out and heard footsteps coming towards you. This is what you hated about this place. Too many people telling you what to do, keeping an eye on you, and always so many rules on what you can and can't do.
As you went to turn into the next hallway to the library Clegane stepped in front of you. You tried to go around him but he kept blocking your way.
"The king said to take you to your chambers." His tone was serious.
"Maybe you misheard it, but I need to get some books first." You tried to move away from him. He ignored you and kept blocking your way.
You tried to keep yourself composed since you had much anger and frustration stored inside you since coming to the king's landing. You took a big breath trying for the last time to be polite.
"Ser.."
"I'm no Ser."
"Seven hells! Let me go get my fucking books!" Maybe it was the alcohol that gave you the courage to raise your voice and push him out of the way, even though he didn't move an inch.
Apparently, that was amusing enough for him to let you go while he subtly smirked. You finally reached the maesters' library. The Hound stood by the entrance. You took a book, then another, then as you went to get the third book you had an idea.
"Ahem!" You cleared your throat to get his attention. He looked at you as you repeatedly looked down at the heavy books on your arms and up at him.
He scoffed and took your books.
''Wait, there's more!" You said it innocently as he turned around and you decided to find 2 of the heaviest books on forestry and wildlife and put it on top of the pile he was already carrying. He grunted.
"We can go now!" You said innocently, knowing you were being a brat. Honestly alcohol didn’t give you the best ideas.
As you found yourself by your chamber door, Clegane leaned down to hand you the books. You stepped away, opening the door to your room.
"Could you place them inside on that little table?" This time you weren't trying to be inconvenient, but there was no way you could carry all that weight.
Clegane tried to hide his annoyance. He thought you were just another spoiled highborn like Joffrey or Cersei. He placed the books on the table aggressively. You tried to walk around the table to accompany him to the door, but you tripped on one of your book piles on the floor and fell with your face on the big man's chest. He didn't move, you put your hands on his chest to get back on your feet.
"Pardon me...I think I've had too much to drink." You mumbled. He looked down to stare at you making sure you didn't get hurt on his armor. You blushed and looked away as he started to leave.
"Why do they call you The Hound?" You asked as he was almost by the door. He stopped and didn't turn around.
"Why do you care?" He grunted.
"What should I call you then?"
"Don't call me." He replied as he walked away.
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Crepinlore and the 30-50 random games 90% of fandom has never heard about
This post, like everything else about this blog, is very self-indulgent. I discovered many things during its making, and I simply can't not share. So, let's begin with something you likely have literally never heard about, and go to more popular things from there:
KROSMASTER ARENA 3D
Krosmaster arena online was a video game it seems nobody played, and honestly, I am mentioning it here because I fear that if I don't document it, it will disappear, and it will turn out that it was simply a vision I had, as if in a David Lynch movie. Evaporating, like tears in rain.
I don't think anyone ripped/tried to rip/found a way to rip the models from it — and considering the fact they're pretty... mobile ad-core, not much may have been lost.
Anyway, here's Keke beating the shit out of some guy.
Wakfu Les Gardiens
youtube
Joris appears in the quest "The Tree of Life" of this game, which, as far as I'm aware, was updated in time with Wakfu episodes.
Even back then, Ankama knew that 1. Joris is very sus and 2. you cannot let him get close to you during a battle, or it's OVER.
It's all very cute.
There is something interesting I wanna say about this sprite, actually:
An alternate version of it exists, made as a concept for the Dofus MMO. I am assuming it was Juien Druant elaborating on the ways Joris might look in the game. The first two designs are: baby Joris (probably not used because he looks too young to be a 200 year old man...) and Welsh & Shedar 60yo Joris. They were combined to make the iconic Dofus MMO-era 200yo Joris design.
I'm quite sure that this sprite references the Les Gardiens one very heavily.
One More Gate: A Wakfu Legend
The first game in this list that actually has implications for real lore, and yet its plot is literally "it was all a dream that Oropo was having while inside the Eliacube"
For this reason, the events of this game are not entirely reliable — but are probably based in some way on the memories Oropo has.
The main contribution this game has to Crepinlore is a third Crepin, who might be an ancient ancestor of the brothers, whom Oropo met and remembered, some sort of cousin, or he might be based entirely on fiction, and inspired by Kerubim (though ehhh I severely doubt Oropo would care so much about him that he'd hallucinate a guy like him within Eliacube's fake world).
I really want to headcanon that the events of the game are based on something he really experienced, waaay before forming the brotherhood. But that's just my brain disaeses.
Here we can see the store itself.
Krosmaga
I saved the best for the last — Krosmaga.
youtube
A video of the casts of Dofus and Wakfu beating the shit out of each other
There are characters besides Atcham, Joris, and Kerubim in this game — Julith, Jahash, Lou... But I choose to concentrate on my favorite three ones. Or I will die fr.
If this Ecaflip gives the impression of constantly having a bad hair day, it's precisely because he doesn't have any! Brother of Kerubim Crépin, Atcham is fiercely jealous of the man he considers his worst enemy. And how could he not be, when not only does he occupy the prestigious position of Ecaflip's favorite son, but also displays his dense, silky fur without any modesty or sensitivity?
Here are his three forms:
I'm.,. unwell about the white one. I have to draw Atcham in a Bontarian getup one of these days.
They're really giving a fight to this Joris costume recolor from a Christmas event in one of the MMOs... (Now I want to see Kerubim in red too!)
On topic of Joris,
Adopted son of Kerubim Crépin, Joris is a curious and mischievous little boy. His favorite pastime is listening to the childhood adventures of his beloved "Papycha". And when he's too busy serving customers in his antique store, he's off playing with his best friend Lilotte! An avid boufbowl player and fan of Khan Karkass, Joris also hopes to become a star of the horned ball. While his destiny may already be mapped out on the stadium pitch, his origins are much less clear… But the good thing about not knowing where you come from is that you can imagine anything! For the little boy, there's no doubt: his parents were great boufbowl players, and it doesn't matter if it's true or not!
Here are his alternative forms:
I LOVE THE WAY HIS ADULT SELF IS DRAWN IN THIS GAME... I'm insane.
And now, last but not least: Kerubim.
Judging by his adventures, Kerubim seems to have had more than 9 lives! From small-time opera rat, to Bontarian police officer, to lawyer: the least we can say is that during his youth, the man Joris calls his Papycha never stopped working! So much so that today, the owner of the antique store Aux Trésors de Kerubim takes advantage of his free time to purr quietly in his armchair, or to tell his adopted son about his past adventures. Past? Well, not quite! Because when the terrible witch Julith arrives to retrieve Jahash's Ivory Dofus, and seems intent on attacking Joris, the old tomcat doesn't hesitate to get in her way. With Kerubim, there's no age limit to being a hero!
Once again, it is confirmed that the store's name s literally "Aux Trésors de Kerubim". Sorry, I'm insane about the name of the show being the name of the store.
And his alternative forms:
He's beautiful.
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I kind of want to hear more about like Jamie trying to manage having a chronic illness while also being like a professional athlete. (although we are giving our issues with things to people I have a strong feeling Roy is prone to like tension headaches. )
You lot are feeding me well tonight :)))))
Listen - IBS Jamie is purely for my own joy tbh there is nothing in canon even if I did make a list of some things that could apply >>>> you can find it here
It's a bullshit diagnosis anyway, cause even doctors don't know what is wrong and say it to dismiss you. So I can see him having all these issues and when he does all the tests there is nothing wrong with him and they say it's all in his head and he has to learn to live with it and manage it (there are some studies that bring on the hypothesis that there might be a link to physical, emotional or sexual abuse in childhood and with trauma in general which fits the bill with him, but I am too dumb to actually understand them but oh hey this is fiction we can do what we want!)
From my experience, exercise can be both a very good and a very bad thing. Usually fine during, but when you push too much you might feel unwell and we know he 100% over-does it. I can see him struggling with accepting he needs to put limits in place, he has to allow his body to rest and has to have regular meals etc He would be very frustrated with it. Personally it's actually fucked up my confidence massively as my therapist put it "have you ever thought that your lack of confidence also comes from not being able to ever trust your own body?" funny lady isn't she my own Doc
I think Roy having his own chronic issues (that man hurts just look at him lol but I can see headaches for sure) is actually very understanding once Jamie manages to open up about it which takes a long time >> bootroom breakdown is so spot on for being in the middle of a flare when you are still expected to operate at 110% but you're exhausted, lack of sleep is making it worse, you're bloated as fuck and your tummy hurts and you can't bother with anything (hair, personal care etc) and you just want to curl up and cry >>> Roy helping him put things in place to help like making a meal plan with the doctors of low fodmap items and ensuring the canteen is aware, always having cozy clothing around that is loose around the waist and a heat pad ready to go in the office, well stocked cabinet of ibs friendly tea (he's a tea guy anyway!), he suggest a meditation/yoga session for the afternoons and he makes jamie keep a food/symptoms diary (which then he ends up keeping cause jamie is not organised at all and roy is sorting out 90% of hid meals anyway!!). He also makes him see Dr Sharon because stress can make it worse!
Oh and Roy does gift him this too:
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Asking asking askiiiing...
Micah: 5, 9
Javier: 7, 8
Pearson: 14, 26 (Freebie: What would his favorite food be to make, if he didn't have to cook outdoors and in bulk? i.e. not being stuck with stew.)
Micah
5: What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
At the moment I have I Want It All by Lana Del Rey stuck in my head so I am a bit biased… at the moment. (Such a cunty song for him).😁
For serious songs I associate with him, Frontier Psychiatrist by The Avalanches is spot on. It is fun, it is chaotic, it sounds like a collection of disconnected memories and audio clips, it focuses on the unwell mental state of a person, so on…
I know some people tie metal music into Micah. Maybe it is me not liking metal music, but I’ve always associated Micah with wind instrument band music. American Venom or various songs from the RDR1 and RDR2 sound track capture the power of Micah to me; he carries the name of his past kin and wields it like his duel revolvers. He is feared and it only feels right a triumphant band of trumpets and electric guitar accompany him.
9: Could you be roommates with this character?
Haha NOOOOOO. Regardless of if it is canon Micah or a modern AU Micah, I think he would be a pain to deal with. Micah mainly does his own thing so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I don’t wanna dwell and put TOO much thought into this, but I feel like Micah would be a cruddy roommate whenever he is inside the house, but the majority of the time he is out of the house doing something illegal or morally dubious.
Javier
7: What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
Tough, not because there isn’t a lot I love but because there is a lot that I love. The fandom has been pretty good to Javier in my opinion. Maybe too good and excuse him of his faults but that is not the focus of the question.
I do like when the fandom sheds light on Javier’s past, his family, his flaws, and his struggles. Idk if I have seen any art or fan fiction about Javier and his sister, but I want to. Idk if I have seen anything even about Javier in Mexico prior to the VDL gang. The small crumbs that are talked about by the fandom, I reaaaaally appreciate.
8: What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
I am not sure because the fandom is usually respectful about Javier. There isn’t anything I despise, at most I roll my eyes.
I was going to say I felt the constant use of google translate Spanish in fan fiction felt ooc but I realized over time that Javier just does that and interchangeably uses English and Spanish in-game. Plus there is no one right way to right a character. Even if it was ooc that would be fine.
I think people (once again) infantilizing and excusing Javier of his flaws is an annoyance. That and steam rolling his rough edges and flaws to make him this suave guy who gets all the ladies. This man returns to camp smelling like fish and with dirt covered hands from worm collecting. He may have good clothing and hygiene but this man is also unsexy in his own ways. He is unconventionally sexy. You don’t need to replace parts of him to make him “better”. He is already a good character, you just gotta appreciate what’s there.
Pearson
14: Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
D: oh no. I was not ready for Pearson headcanon time.
I feel like much of what Pearson already wears (minus the top hat and a few others) would fit into modern day as some sort of thrifted aesthetic, assuming the clothes are cleaned and not blood stained.
I especially like his sweater outfit which makes me think he would enjoy nice big sweaters the girls find on social media and then buy for him. They’re almost all muted colors and patterns. He especially likes the ones depicting nature like this one.
26: favorite food to make with no restrictions.
I don’t have a solid idea for this one so excuse me as I take this in a unserious route: BURGER!
I can just imagine Pearson in a modern AU being a grill dude. He just wants to BBQ and feel good with a beer in his hands on a spring/summer afternoon. He isn’t obligated to provide food for the gang anymore, but he is happy to be invited over by Dutch to talk and grill.
Pearson is a man of varied cuisine so burgers aren’t his only thing. He does others. Burgers are just a crowd pleaser, not too difficult to make, and easy to customize. He might’ve even tried making those new fangled vegan burger black bean things for the gang members who don’t eat meat anymore (cough cough, Mary-Beth).
#asks#ask#ask game#javier esquella#Javier escuella#rdr2#Micah bell#Pearson rdr2#rdr2 Pearson#simon pearson
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