#I am tired of everything
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not gonna lie, the fact that people keep stealing my posts and reupload them unsourced getting about 100x more interactions while my OG posts get like 3 makes me not want to create anything for this fandom ever again
none of them @ me either, sad
#elden ring#i'm gonna tag it too i don't care anymore#is it so hard to fucking @ the person in the post that you stole???? and accounts like this have 300k followers#with every single one of their posts being stolen from others#and 300k people are ok with that#also people why is it that when you see me postig my stuff you ignore it but when a fuckface steals it suddenly it's funny and you engage?#i am tired of everything#content theft to this level is just the cherry on top to all the other bullshit#if you see this happening anywhere to any creator you know please call them out
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iām annoyed. iām annoyed. iām annoyed. iām annoyed.
#i am tired of everything#rude customers#half assed āfriendshipsā#having allergies#lazy coworkers#happy fucking friday
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ykw maybe it's better like this yea
#instead of repeating same 20 lines every two weeks#explaining the same stuff over and over again#i am tired of everything#what was even the point of those#if it takes me being the villain for betterment so be it soš
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I am tired of this dream
will it ever for me
I donāt have the will to know
can you help me see?
let my body keep you warm
let my essence be your breeze
can you hear me calling?
please look out for meā¦
Can you set me free? Will you take my soul away?
Casting me in cold
Bury me in bones
Rest eternallyā¦
Will you take me home?
Can we see the moon again?
Dancing in the dark
āTill we fall apart
I canāt end this dreamā¦.
#reflections of a bug#lyric vent#is this cringe? maybe#But itās a fucking vent why am I worried about that#im sorry.#Iām tired#I know people care#But I. I am tired.#I am tired of everything
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Been arguing off and on with my mom all day.
I'm exhausted. I just want to cry and go to bed. And sleep forever.
#personal#bat.txt#i'm just so exhausted#i am tired of everything#tried to put this under a read more#but it didn't work
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Actually, the bars aren't so bad anymore.
Think you can fix him? Read about his care instructions over at Tiger Tiger)
#Tiger Tiger#ludovica bonnaire#rakkatak ann#I thought I liked him (in a way he has a great design and is an effective antagonist) and *then* he licked the spit.#Now I need to create a lab to study him in. My god. He gives me hives. I need to see more of him NOW.#Something is wrong with him and it fascinates me.#He is everything I like in an antagonist. A little bit stupid and unintentionally funny while being a genuine threat.#I call him rat man they way I want to see him skitter around on the floor.#Call him rat man the way he might need a little cheerio snack and some enrichment.#I am so...so tired and I am struggling to keep the jokes train going.#Please continue to read Tiger Tiger! Every new reader fuels my energy gauge.#Sorry I've been missing so many days of posting. I'll try to make up with some extra posts this week!
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its always āwe should beat up and kill rapists and abusers!ā but the moment someone actually does you all turn on them
#gypsy rose blanchard#amber heard#menendez brothers#lyle menendez#erik menendez#because i am SICK and TIRED of it#its always āwhy didnāt they fight back?ā until they do#you will never understand what itās like to be a victim of abuse until you are one#so donāt speak on it#and even when they do everything ārightā#when they go to police and leave them and keep their distance#they are still victimised and end up dead. just look at nicole brown#anyways fuck johnny depp fuck deedee blanchard and fuck the menendez parents
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I donāt know if this is worth a post on here. We post anyways maybe (?)
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#dirk strider#blooby posting#Been playing disco Elysium#That is about all. I drank 4 litres of Pepsi today#Insane#and I still wanted moreā¦ but I burned my tongue yesterday#because I was too eager to eat fish. Now everything tastes like burn#Sigh.#Copied from being John Malkovich by the way#one of my favorites#movie wise. Always reminded me of him yadda yadda. I am tired#Hitting the hay now. But my room is so warmā¦ I have no air con. I know no peace in this world
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Grown women who mock 10-year-old girls on tiktok for using too much makeup and skincare are so ironic and painful to watch.
Acting like these girls didnāt get their ideas from you. They were listening when you were telling them how you should start your retinol treatment as young as you can. They were listening when you told them 30 step routine is a game changer. They were looking at you, at women on the billboards, magazine covers and in the TV shows with perfect skin, perfect eyeshadows, perfect hair and realised they should do the same, they should start as young as they can or it would be too late.
These girls are present when you mock other women for their age. Young women ages 20-30 get bullied for having normal faces. āOh my god i thought you were 50ā at a woman who is clearly in her thirties.
These āhelpful tipsā how to not get wrinkles which include donāt lift your eyebrows, donāt emote in general, use anti-wrinkle straws, donāt forget to get botox on time.
Red light therapy, sleeping with your mouth sealed, in one position on your back so either side of your face wonāt get squished and swollen.
But these little girls are funny, yeah, letās mock them. Why donāt you mock the promoters of these ideas? Why donāt you mock billion dollar industries? 10-year-olds at Sephora are funny, I wonder if you find the absence of women with real faces on screens as funny
#i am so tired of these stupid makeup trends that change every second#what is my blindness#shave you face#red light therapy#everything is a fucking theory#how are THEY not tired#radblr#radical feminism#radical feminist safe#anti makeup#haveuevermetme posts
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Iām a burden for everyone. Iām even a burden to myself.
#tw depressing thoughts#alone with my thoughts#depressing shit#feeling alone#sad thoughts#mentally exhausted#mentally tired#sadnees#overthinking#self h@te#i dont want to be here#self h@rm#i hate everything#overthinker#tw selfhate#i am useless#im not feeling good
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead insteadā it's not because I donāt think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if thatās where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. itās not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! itās good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, thatās not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we canāt change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#āļø
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Topless outdoor coffee mornings anyone??
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#I'm not mad I promise. I just dyed my eyebrows before I dyed my hair so I look rly pissed off abt everything š#Also i am freshly showered so I decided to dry off in the sunshine instead of the normal boring way#Trying to decide if tonights look will need clothes over the top (pop to pub version) or š» out kinda vibes (wine at home)#I'm leaning towards the later fr#satans knitwear#girls with piercings#alt pinup#pinup girl#Does my face give masc vibes just bc im wearing no makeup??? Kinda yeah. Very sexy of me.#Maybe it's the tired/dead eyes lmao#cheeky#Happy Friday my loves! Lots to do today but thinking about fun things for us this evening šāØ#Spotify
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*casey jones enters the set* *live studio audience applauds*
ā© the gemini ā© [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]
#whew. i know its been a bit of a wait since the last update;;;#i just started my new job! and also got sick coz ofc i did lmao#so i am TIRED and things are going much slower#once i get into the swing of things i suspect everything will pick back up#but in the meantime thanks for ur patience :3c#gemini au#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#tmnt 2018#tmnt 2k18#rottmnt au#rottmnt separated au#rottmnt raph#rottmnt casey jones#rottmnt cassandra jones#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt comic#fidgetwing
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for a second, you did the bad thing and bargained about it.
if it meant that you would never be numb like this again, what would you give up?
maybe it's the childhood stuff or the religious trauma or how your dad doesn't believe in medication, but this is how you are, right. you need to have a counterbalance. suffering has to have its own reward. there needs to be a point to it. and if you're happy - if you could just be happy, and the world could actually fill in enough space that the edges of your spirit actually meet the horizon of your body - you would need to pay for it.
your passions? that one seems fair, but how could you actually be happy without them. well, you'd never be numb again, so maybe you'd be able to find joy in the small things like you used to. gleeful, you'd make coffee and breakfast into an artform. you'd find a way to make it make sense, somehow. you'd move on. it'd be different, but it would be doable.
your lover? your friends? this would be hard. you owe so much to your community. still, you could maybe make yourself a small home in the woods. you could live a quiet life, one devoid of friendship - but also without this horrible grey mist. a life like bigfoot, then. you'd figure out how to make the most of it.
your hair. your teeth. all of it.
sometimes you are jealous of mental illness as it appears in media: a big stroke of a meltdown, a firestorm that resolves prettily in therapy. it is flashing lights and thin teenagers. you've absolutely had breakdowns that stole the show - but life after resolved into a pixel art of things you managed to piece together afterwards, not a tapestry of a heart made suddenly-beautiful. that people could pick up blades as if they weigh nothing, that the way it all appears is as a cry for help, not a slow backsliding.
you have to stop the thought: i'd give up everything.
but also - be real. you'd never give up your dog. nor your best friend. nor the way you feel walking while through deep fog. you'd never give up the last bonfire of summer, the reckless laughter of halloween. so you do still love things.
maybe that's the problem: you know it should be easier. you have everything you could possibly want. so how come you are still trapped? still yearning?
#writeblr#warm up#dlkfjsldkjf#ive been dealin w/some pretty bad [ mental illness ] for about a year now. like the kind i got at 19#and ..................... i have everything i want.#i wish it was easier for both of us#it is easier in a lot of ways. i am glad i stayed. but ya lol i am so tired in the Very Bad No Good way
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