#I am so fucking furious

[helloidkwhatimdoing-0]

Okay being diagnosed with autism definitely came with an angry phase but i do NOT remember it being nearly as bad as the one that is currently occurring due to my adhd diagnosis

[mushyroommm]

fuck netlfix

[ratbastarddotfuck]

if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.

Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.

[b0tster]

reading the receipts on how bethesda resorted to fucking extortion in a pathetic attempt to force Leona (a trans woman) to resign without pursuing a discrimination lawsuit by holding her fucking surgeries hostage & holy fuck

her experience at bethesda was a harrowing but depressingly familliar one filled with a sudden loss of respect by her superiors, public outing by her manager, falsified reports on her yearly review to convince corporate that she was a liability...

i struggle to find the words to descrive how i felt going through it all.

they were HOLDING HER SURGERIES HOSTAGE TO COERCE HER TO RESIGN

fuck this fucking industry. you cannot fix this. it is beyond saving

[tokopng]

my ptcgic2024 entries :] i didn't place in the top 300 but i always enjoy doing art for it

[your-fuccked-up-dad-volume100]

Dragging you home after our night out and fucking railing into you because you looked at that guy for more than 3 seconds, and I have to remind you that you belong to me🔪

[fucktheepilogues]

I HATE THE EPILOGUES

IT SHOULDNT HAVE AFFECTED PESTERQUEST

The epilogues piss me off!!! I was having a lovely time playing pesterquest and enjoying the route of my most swagtacular spectactical top dawg DIRK STRIDER when suddenly i saw the most atrocious, infuiriating thing iv'e ever laid my sorry eyes upon - ult dirk. I just about killed myself on the spot out of pure, unbridled rage. I punched my monitor impulsively, shooting my fist straight through the screen and out the other side. After a few bucks spend purchasing a new monitor, I sat down to write this blog.

The creator of pesterquest made an absolutely enraging decision by thinking it was any way ok to mention the epilogues in pesterquest. There was no reason to and the game would have been spectacular without it. I am convinced they have some kind of incredibly hateful bias against Dirk Strider, because why else would they tarnish his perfectly acceptable route with their shitty self insert and ult dirk? Spite is the only reason I cant thing of. Disgusting.

They just couldnt bear to make an enjoyable game, and thus decided to thrust their stupid fucking ocs into it for no damn reason. If I wanted to see hiveswap characters, I would play hiveswap. If I wanted to think about the epilogues, I would look them up and read them, or even better, go on AO3 and find the most horrible, disgusting and mischaracterized fic imaginable, and get just the same amount of enjoyment.

No other route had such a grotesquely oversized and unwanted intrusion as Dirks. It is as if they want everyone who is semi attached to the character to end their own life, the urge to do such a direct side effect of his pesterquest route. I DONT WANT TO SEE ULT DIRK EVER AGAIN!!!! THERE WAS NO REASON TO ADD HIM I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!! FUCKIKKIKKKLKLKKK N*HIM>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you at all enjoy his appearance in pesterquest dont talk to me, unless it is to apologize for being alive and have the most disgusting, immoral, and entirely incorrect opinions to ever exist. I have no respect for you.

I have busted several keyboards typing this, because my fingers are fueled by FURY. Luckily, I have a sizable stack of replacement keyboards to feed my rant. The epilogues fucking suck. I cannot emphasize this enough. They are shit and I hate them, and did I mention they fucking SUCK?? They suck fat, hairy, slimy BALLS!!!!!!!

Anyways, if anyone know of a pesterquest rewrite in which it is *just* homestuck and does not feature hideous, irrelevant and maddening characters which are not from the original material, please let me know, because I would love to consume such media.

[crabussy]

IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

[electricpurrs]

tex red vs blue is insanely transgender but im the only one who sees it that way because im crazy in the head.

what if there was a past version of yourself. a woman, a wife, a mother, with long hair and a sweet smile. and she died long ago. and you are her. but you are not her. you're nothing like her, but the people who knew her desperately want you to be her, want to preserve the memory they have in their minds of the woman they loved through you. but you never asked to be her, never asked to carry the burden of someone else's expectation of who or what you should be. you have a new name. you prefer to go by this one. people remark on how weird it is that it's a guy's name. sometimes the people who loved [the past version of] you call you by your old name. they are not referring to you when they say it. you live in the shadows of someone who's long gone, and you're something different now, but you don't feel like you're ever allowed to define yourself on your own terms, to be your own person, to control your own life, because you exist solely through the memories people had of you. and the longer she has been gone for, the more desperately people try to get her back, the less you resemble her and the less you know who you are, or if you ever even got to be anything at all. what i mean is that transition could have saved him

[iceclew]

SO IN CASE ANYBODY WONDERED..

here is my take on Jesper and Keith without mask/helmet.

AND SOME DOODLES

shit I fell HARD for them...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters, neither is this by any means canon, it's just my take on what I feel I would like them to look like. Characters belong to Skyrim Tales, entirely.

*phew* it was only when I chatted with fellow simp/mutual that I realized, it would have made MUCH more sense for them to have long hair... it would fit way better in the skyrim law .........But, BEFORE I thought about that, those faces came to my mind.. Keith should have ..more northern-like traits, but ended up...weirdly roman? I have not lived down men with goatees just yet....

And Jesper is said to be not North, so i kinda played around a bit and ... yeah, whatever it is that came up to me, at this point, why am I trying to justify this, I felt locks and freckles and let's be real here I bottomed him hard in this.. like.. is there anything I forgot that would scream even more "Bottom" to you?

*silence*

...

OK so because this post IS NOT LONG ENOUGH YET DOWN BELOW ARE SOME OF MY HEADCANONS:

(Sorry for horrible spelling and grammar)

Jesper is actually a quite anxious person and copes with not taking off his helmet. Even when off-duty, or singing. Almost no one in Whiterun saw his face so far.

He is so used to wear the guard's uniform ever since childhood, everything else let's him feel right out exposed to the world. Like all of his flaws and weaknesses are presented on the plate to be played with and take advantage of by everybody around him. His face is totally fine btw, nothing unuasual but a few freckles spread across it (cause i love freckles).

The uniform and helmet is a huge confidence boost for him, and he himself is feeling much more authorical with it. Not like - gettin' into macho mansplaining mode, but rather like feeling like a normal decent human. And by now he kinda takes it to an extreme, meaning, if he was ever about to take it off in front of others, he'd just be super nervous about it, and can't keep eye contact, so he heavily tries to avoid those situations.

He believes exposing his face in conversation would make him extra vulnerable, since he is a rather touchy soul, constantly wearing his emotions on his face and he's aware of that..(can you describe it like that? idk) He got bullied a lot from young age, and with helmet on, people cannot respond to his expression and will not confront him about it as much. He is still kinda expressive and easy to read even WITH helmet on - voice and postur giving away a lot - but still mot that obvious. He still gets bullied by his collegues, but feels like it could be worse).

He loves singing, but it's like - the prime example of his problem - so he's not daring to quit being a guard, take of his helmet and become a professional singer. There are some bard festivals around, he would love to visit, but never dared to, because he would only get sad from not being able to join the singers for good.

Keith is not fond of showing his face around either. But this solemly because of his profession. But he has a rather distinctive birthmark, where people would recognize him immediatelly if seen, so mask it is.

I feel Keith would be around 5 years older or smth? And since he is kind of a night owl by profession, plus up at daytime as well, he must have the most horrible eye bags of doom, one can imagine.

yeah, that's all I got for now... I know.. I'm a lot here already....

I have so many ideas, I hope I find more time and inspiration for stuff here, I'd love to draw them together, plus the whole crew as well, I really loved today's 3am vid. <3

[lamentable-comedy]

Ralph and Julie are alive? Ralph and Julie are alive. Do you ever think about that??? Think about how Ralph Montgomery and Julie Capsom are alive???? How Arden took one of the most well know tragedies, possibly in the world, and changed the ending so they LIVE??!???!?? In the “they’re going to die” play???????? In the “hi the story hasn’t started yet but just a heads up they will die— we know this is based on an older story, but just in case you didn’t know, they are going to die at the end” play????? And they LIVE??????????????

It’s been four and a half years since I listened and I haven’t stopped thinking about how Ralph and Julie are alive. They made it out. Just this once. Just this once, they made it out alive.

[a-neru-neru]

more old backlogged capitaru.

[buttercupshands]

wait a minute

stop.

stop it.

[ktzart]

sadie outfits :)

[sunnywalnut]

Hey guys.

Click some buttons

You can tap them all in one day.

Go for it. Collect em all :3

[wistfulwatcher]

"at least natalie's death was narratively satisfyin—"

no. it wasn't. they gave us a character who has struggled with addiction her whole life. struggled with self-harm in a variety of forms. who has felt lost and guilty for the last twenty-five years. a character who has been suicidal multiple times in the past, a character who was literally suicidal a week ago.

and you killed her a day after she started to actually, truly try to heal.

yes, this show has always been dark. yes, from the first moment of the entire series we knew these girls committed unspeakable violence on one another, and did so ritually. yes, we knew that the adult versions of these characters spent the last twenty-five years struggling with their guilt and shame and trauma, and were doing it very, very poorly.

all of this just shows that the story has been in their struggle. this has been—or at least it was initially sold as—a show about women and their trauma. a show about women who don’t know how to examine their trauma, don’t know how to process it. who can’t take more than small glances at what happened, but who can also never, ever forget that it’s there. this has been a show about women who are coping, most times poorly, but very, very realistically.

and there was so much hope in that, despite (or because) this is such a dark show. these women can screw up and struggle and be real people—which women never get to be on television—and still maybe, they can heal bit by bit. there was always an inherent hope in this story, because they were all still, as adults, trying to make a life for themselves even if they were muddling through it.

in season two, natalie starts to heal at the retreat. (apparently—i personally found her 180 between "qui" and "burial" highly suspect and very poorly executed, but that's a moot point now.) she spends most of the season struggling against lottie, but finally accepts lottie's therapy (thanks to lisa) and beginning with "burial" she keeps trying to get the girls to talk about what happened. she figures out what she needs to move forward—to finally, truly address what happened in the wilderness by talking about it. that becomes her goal, and her focus with the others.

but natalie doesn't get to talk about anything. the girls want to drink instead of talk in "burial". and in "it chooses," the second nat suggests they talk, lottie shuts her down and suggests they drink poison instead. natalie is sober, and trying to do what she thinks she is supposed to do by confronting her trauma. she has made all of the "right" choices to actually heal from her pain, but she never gets to.

natalie’s entire story line, set up in her very introduction in the pilot, is to find her purpose. she talks about her self-destructive behaviors being due to her lack of one, and makes it clear that she intends to find that purpose once she leaves therapy. thus, for natalie’s story to be narratively satisfying, her story needs to end with her finding that purpose, right? which means that, if we are to treat this as a narratively satisfying ending, then natalie physically sacrificing her life for lisa is supposed to be that purpose. 

but death is not a purpose. and, to portray it as such for a character who has tried to commit suicide is, honestly, disgusting to me. especially for a character who was saved—again, a week ago—from her attempt by the very woman who then encourages her to drink poison that is used to "put animals out of their misery". who is then told in her death vision to “let the wilderness in” (when "the wilderness" has been a pretty clear metaphor for trauma!!!). they spent all season telling a suicidal character to suddenly let go and give in and stop resisting in a narrative that leads to her “””finding purpose””” in her fucking death. not to mention letting that death be recorded as "an overdose" after she has been explicitly sober as part of her growth!!

a far, far more narratively satisfying path for natalie is for her to actually find a purpose that is consistent with the hunter-protector she’s always been described as. in “no compass” tai says that natalie is the reason they all made it out of the wilderness. (again, wilderness as a metaphor for trauma!) so why, on earth would the better story line, the more consistent story line, the more satisfying story line—especially when this show is all about parallels and cycles repeating—not be natalie leading them all out of “the wilderness” by helping them process the trauma? by getting them all to talk about it?

(i didn’t necessarily need or expect yellowjackets to give a truly “good” message or resolution—bittersweet would be plenty for me—but can you imagine the beauty of that story? the character who has felt nothing but pain and guilt, who has been alone for the majority of her life, who has never felt good and stable love, being the one to break through the trauma first? the one who finally learns to heal first, and protects them all once again by leading them through the wilderness? a story of a woman supporting women through trauma that only they can understand?)

instead natalie's story goes from struggling with her pain and guilt, to trying to find some purpose in her life, to losing that purpose and attempting suicide, to being saved and actually starting to address her trauma head-on. and then dying before she can. i'm sure there are some people who believe that this is character growth (the briefest moment of addressing her trauma), but it wasn't; her growth is blunted by her death.

and this makes her death both tragic and unsatisfying. a character who struggles so hard and so long, who finally, finally sees a light, and the moment she reaches for it, is shifted back to where she was a week ago, having never gotten to actually grow.

so no, just because i am personally devastated by nat's death does not mean that i am blind to the narrative; quite the opposite. i am furious both as a fan of the character and a fan of the story. i feel deceived, disappointed, and insulted by every single part of this story. i feel like we were all cheated out of what could have been a beautiful exploration of a complex and fascinating character. and on top of all that i am very, very hurt.