#at just. everything
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Day three of holding everyoneâs laundry hostage until my father takes a shower.
The last of my fatherâs beloved white socks have fallen to the filth. There is little hope, and even less in terms of rest. The battle is ongoing, and it feels often that I am fighting alone. Morale is low; my ally in this conflict, mother, is injured. I long for the days when I can rest. When this war will cease, and all will be clean again. The dishes done, the people bathed, the laundry washed and folded. Alas. We know the struggle will never end.
I am Sisyphus, and my fatherâs horrid stench and apathy are forever my boulder.
My father is a war profiteer, and I am a hapless young recruit greeting a doomed mission.
Last shower date: December 25th, 2023
#collective tag#it spoke#iâm venting#but like⌠only half serious#god I am so so so so tired.#Iâm so pissed man#at just. everything#this house is falling apart around me and Itâs like I canât do anything#I have begged and begged and begged this fucking man to take a goddamn shower.#I cry about this#because he just doesnât fucking care#I CANT DO EVERYTHING!!!!!#NOT FOREVER#huge ass ants everywhere? sure. fuck it. why not#piles and piles of laundry? okay. I can do that.#not paying the mortgage until our shit gets shut down and mom and I yell at you?#cooking halfassed meals that are only barely tolerable to you and inedible to everyone else#and then complaining when we donât eat them despite how much weâve all told you?#and leaving the whole kitchen to rot?#PISSING YOURSELF REPEATEDLY AND NOT CHANGING YOUR PANTS BECAUSE YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT AND NEVER SHOWERING FOR MONTHS ON END?#Iâm just⌠words cannot describe how tired I am right now.#mom has a broken foot too so I also have to take care of her even more than normal#how did baby me handle this all the time on top of school?#âyeah sure i can take care of two fucked up angry disabled adults on top of my crippling childhood trauma and schoolwork!â#â>#âI swear to fucking god I will telepathically make my heart stop beating by sheer force of fucking will if I hear you call for me againâ#deepest apologies to any poor soul that reads this#i really just needed to cry and scream and cry harder again until I throw up#and maybe a hug
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Okay being diagnosed with autism definitely came with an angry phase but i do NOT remember it being nearly as bad as the one that is currently occurring due to my adhd diagnosis
#moss mumbles#i am so fucking mad#at just. everything#AGH#im just. I WAS STRUGGLING SO MUCH. AND NO ONE BELIEVED ME#I AM SO FUCKING FURIOUS#AND NO ONE. IS GOING TO APOLOGISE. NO ONE EVEN *REMEMBERS*#ISN'T THAT INSANE?!?!? IT WAS ALL LIKE. PERMANENTLY DAMAGING TO ME#AND JUST ANOTHER TUESDAY FOR THEM#im just#oh my god
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I hate it when people ask me what genre of music i listen to because i genuinely have no clue. It's called Music I Like genre. The best genre out there
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Silco and his terror of a daughter
#my art#sketchy sketch#arcane#silco#jinx#jinx and silco#silco would give jinx everything he owns and more#and that would make things worse#silco the makeup expert because he gotta use good and safe products on his own face#thats my queue to leave#silco is the worst best dad#just like jinx is the worst best daughter
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why is ao3 is blocked on the hospital wifi????
#Literally everything else works fine itâs just ao3#Who was reading smut that they blocked ao3#I must know#in which nina screams into the void
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They really gave us everything though: old gay dads, cool straight (?) couple, badass lesbians, gay (temporary) rivals
+
bonus: jayvik together for eternity
I would be beaming from ear to ear if I wasn't so depressed about arcane being over for good
#and took it away later yeah#just so many moments to properly process that it will probably take weeks to digest everything#silco x vander#vander x silco#arcane silco#vander arcane#vander and silco#ekkojinx#ekko x jinx#jinx x ekko#ekko arcane#jinx arcane#jinx#caitvi#caitlyn x vi#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#vi arcane#jayvik#arcane jayvik#jayce talis#jayce arcane#viktor#viktor arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#timebomb#zaundads
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I think one of the kindest things you can do for people with various mental health struggles is just... let people back into your life after they've been absent for a while.
Making friends as an adult is so fucking hard already and isolating yourself from other people is a very common symptom of depression, anxiety, burnout, ocd, trauma, grief, etc. Which means that someone will do the hard work of recovery/healing and resurface back into a world where their previous friends have written them off because they stopped showing up.
So if you know someone where you're like "yeah we could have been better friends but they fell off the map a bit" and that person suddenly reaches out, or starts showing up to events even though you kind of forgot they were still in the group chat... well they may have been Going Through It and you don't actually have to punish them for their absence you can just be glad that they're back.
#forever grateful for friends that let me disappear for a bit because I was too sad for everything and just held space for me to come back#so I'm trying to pay it forward by holding that space for other people#my nonsense
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i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesnât have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.
#sorry im bored of the same tags on this lmao#sometimes i think the confessional style loses impact because everything has to be excavated from the depths of the soul#and somehow. confessional writing seems to be going with the most disaffected bland sound possible. odd.#i love deeply personal songs! i love when songs sound like they mean something to the artist!#something something wider issue of mining trauma and being performatively vulnerable for quote unquote content#idk i donât have the actual knowledge to write about this well thereâs just something not landing for me recently#mine
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LIBRARY WRAPPED
You checked out... probably some stuff? Thanks for doing that :)
Used our wifi maybe? For something?
Look we actually don't know what genres you read or how many times you renewed Gender Queer.
We don't want to know.
Our gift to you is privacy.
Take it.
Be free.
#wrapped#public libraries#privacy#we DO have aggregated statistics and you will be seeing those in January because we calculate them at the actual end of the year#just sayin#everything else is in a vault that is purged regularly and the answer to anyone asking to see it is 'come back with a warrant'
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#when youâre a humanities scholar#and more#like when they ask me what is your blog about#itâs about nothing but itâs actually everything to me#just found this and thought#wow isnât it still relevant#i can tell you all about bouba and kiki but youâd be surprised to know how much of the generally quotidian stuff i have 0 clue about#10k
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'wah wah everywhere is falling to the right wing the whole world is doomed' literally like 6 months ago we were talking about how there was a trend in countries getting rid of their right wing governments. poland at the end of last year, france voted in a unified centre left/left alliance, even the UK finally got rid of the tories after 15 years (right wing splitting be damned, it still happened). outside of europe, bangladesh removed a dictator in like 2 seconds, india may have reelected their Evil Guy but on a DISTINCTLY reduced majority, theres been queer rights successes in thailand, with gay marriage set to be legal by 2025, and thereve been positive court cases on it in japan. and this is just stuff i vaguely remember hearing about. im sure theres more if you care to look for anything aside from more reasons to make yourself miserable
the US has a distinct effect on everyone, so this won't be fun for anyone (least of all its population. sorry guys), and there ARE a lot of people sliding into right wing extremism, but presenting this like its an unchallenged worldwide phenomenon is inaccurate, its damagingly bleak, and all it does is encourage despair and apathy. you DO have political power, and you shouldnt forget that just because of bad election results and the media's desperation to make you lose hope
#us politics#politics#have been seeing a lot of doom. guys not everything is sliding into horror. yeah theres dangerous trends but theres still a lot of rational#ppl in the world. dont forget that just because youre angry at people are rich enough not to care or who fall for fearmongering#anyway. sending love to the states it cant be easy sharing land mass with 70 million of the worst people ever
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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thinking about how the best case scenario that elphaba can imagine in the wizard and i is that finally someone will come along who will be able to change everything about her. even in her wildest dreams, she views that as her best option.
and then.
along comes galinda. who - after spending an entire night attempting to give her a makeover - settles on: âactually, youâre perfect just the way you are. i wouldnât change a thing. except maybe to tuck a little piece of myself in with you, just there.â
and i just think thatâs neat.
#gelphie#wicked#wicked movie#and donât get me started on how actually elphie gets basically everything she wished for in that song through glinda#at the oz dust when finally no one thinks sheâs strange#standing hand in hand in the emerald city#anyway#i just think theyâre meant for each other
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the men and boys are innocent too.
we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.
I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.
I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.
I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.
I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.
the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.
#I don't have words to describe how I feel for the men of Palestine#the things I have seen them do after everything they have been through goes so far beyond selfless#what do you call this? this prevailing goodness and willingness to give everything they have and more? what word even touches it?#I don't think there is one#islamophobia has conditioned us to see these men and boys as evil and dangerous#we see this in how we speak about Palestine#and we need to uncondition ourselves#they're just as innocent and of value and good as the women and children#so fight for them#they don't deserve this any more than the women and children#free palestine#palestine
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has saidâ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall đ#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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