#I am not nearly that traumatized

[omni-present-god-send]

I’m genuinely curious. Which Hazbin character am I most like?

[yangjeongin]

HYUNJIN | 230608 • S-CLASS / MCOUNTDOWN

[astrolotte]

Truth be told I kinda like the idea that the shitty things Cosmo & Wanda did in the original FOP (awful arguing, being irresponsible with Poof, etc) are all still canon in some way. Probably not everything, but the basics at the very least.

It makes the overarching story of the franchise more interesting. Why did they end up changing, for example? Was Timmy really that bad? Did the 50 extra years take a toll on them? Did they realize they were creating a bad environment for their son and decide to fix it?

And speaking of their son, it ends up shining a new light on Dev and his dynamic. All Dev sees is the current positive relationship, something that he desperately wants, but if everything from the OG is canon, then it wasn't always that way. His parents hated each other, he was constantly being mishandled, he was sent off to a boarding school at less than a year old... also dropped in the Grand Canyon once.

Dev thinks Peri has the perfect life compared to him, but... hoo that's a lot of early childhood trauma.

It'd probably be a bit difficult to properly implement with the full respect it would need, but... well, I doubt that'll end up canon in the show, 'cause that's a bit heavy for the age range. I'll save it for my imagination instead :P

[chthonic-cassandra]

Had a moment writing that commentary of going, yeah, sorry everyone, I really do write Dracula/Mina, it's really fucked up Dracula/Mina but that's still what it is!

[marc--chilton]

Can't stop thinking about the mgv au, specifically about how it would have been when Stacy left House after the infarction and Wilson came to pick the pieces up... 👀

IT WAS SO BAAAAAD. so awful. wilson had already been helping stacy a bit via medical advice (little things she'd worry about that weren't discussed at the hospital regarding home care) so the transition from stacy's caretaking to wilson's was smooth, all things considered. stacy had called wilson to take over because her decision on house's surgery led to house snapping at her constantly, and between her own guilt (she doesn't regret the decision she just hates that it gave house so much grief) and house's abuse afterward, she couldn't take it.

an alpha leaving their ailing omega.... wilson's hindbrain hated stacy for that for a long time. he understood her point of view, but the hindbrain is not ruled by logic. wilson's protectiveness of house started here with a ferocity; he left his own wife home alone to stay with house while he was healing and only left the apartment if truly necessary. if house hadn't been so actively miserable -- not only is he still in pain, but now he has to grapple with the fact he's now disabled, AND stacy's bond to him is withering (in my mgv bonds fading is an uncomfortable process that can have pain in the gland where the mark is located, mood swings, depression, etc) -- it would have driven him crazy how bad wilson's hovering was. as it was though, it really what started twisting their friendship in a strange direction.

house's hindbrain is affected by all this, too. he's bitter and depressed and pissed off but the omega in him is crushed his bondmate abandoned him. if it had its own voice it would be wailing because that's what it felt like inside his head. not good enough/broken omega/alpha decided i'm not worth it

but!! wilson is there and he's an alpha.... and in his time of need? the omega part of house LATCHES onto him as though he imprinted on him. when he would whine and stacy came in to check on him, he would bite her if she came close. not a corrective little nip, but a bite so strong he could feel the bones in her hand grind. but when wilson runs in (yes, RUNS in) house is more receptive to his form of comfort, even when wilson makes it more intimate than strictly necessary (rumbling coos, petting his hair and wiping away pained tears, even calling him honey so tenderly it makes him ache)

wilson doesn't even call bonnie the entire time he's there. he doesn't even think about her until she calls HIM. it's the beginning of the end for them and wilson knows it but house needs him right now so for the time being, he really doesn't care. when he does finally come home to try to spend a night with her and give her some attention, she's so put off by house's scent on him she pushes him away (so wilson just goes back to house's place. because at least there he can sleep on the couch and not have a panic attack worrying that house will fall and hurt himself while wilson's away)

[flitterywings]

I can’t believe I’ve lost two years of my twenties to health problems and disability. it’s still baffling me that I’m not anywhere close to recovering

[fredthedemonpartner]

Having dissociation be your main coping mechanism for your entire childhood and knowing that you’ve had many traumatic experiences feels like your memory is a bookshelf that should be full. Each memory is supposed to be a book and your shelves should be full, but at some point you took out every book with the letter Q in the title. But all the books still stand straight despite the gaps and on a good day you can convince yourself that enough are there for it to be fine, everyone has books that get lost or damaged or never make it on the shelf to begin with, until you talk to someone and they say something that reminds of a book you know you had but when you go to pick it off the shelf there’s a gap where it should go. But you know the title didn’t have a Q so why isn’t it there, then you realize that as a kid you couldn’t really tell the difference between Q and O. And looking at the shelf suddenly it’s a lot more bare than you realized, too much to be explained away by your general untidiness and leaving books stacked to the side out of order, at least you can still find those ones if you remember they’re there. You can see the shape and size of the missing books and sometimes you can even guess what they contained based on the bits of titles or authors you vaguely remember, but the poor copies you try to make stand out worse than the original gaps. They’re like folders with what little information you can remember that are far too wide and thin to fit well on the shelf, leaning and sticking out past the spines around them. And your fingers catch on them as you run them along the spines of the books, interrupting and frustrating your browsing occasionally even giving you paper cuts. And now you find yourself shelving new books on the most recent shelf, holding a book with Q in the title, stuck between the urge to get rid of it asap and the fear of losing it forever that makes you want to sit down and read it over and over, annotating the pages and writing a whole separate copy just in case because you’d rather have a thousand paper cuts than look at another shelf with more empty spaces than occupied ones.

[timeisacephalopod]

Admittedly I don't know much about the Israel Palestine war but I keep seeing news articles that refer to it as the Israel Hamas war and no it is not. After all Israel has done it gets to be referred to by it's country name and not "terrorists who kill babies and children at the speed of light" but Palestine gets reduced to Hamas?

It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth that the struggle of the Palestinian people keeps getting reduced to the existence of Hamas, but at no point does the ongoing state violence of Israel define its existence when by all means it should when my understanding is that the creation of Israel was stealing land from Palestinians. Why is Israel's violence ignored while Palestine is defined by the admittedly shit group that only arose out of decades of occupation and imperialism? Those two things are not the same and ignoring Israel's violence to act like Hamas came from nowhere just to hurt the poor Israeli government who acts like they've done nothing wrong is ridiculous to me.

[queerasian]

i am devastated over succession’s finale to this day but i also don’t think it should or could’ve ended any other way.

if kendall had “won” he would’ve still lost. he might’ve been happy in his own way but he had already sold his soul for a chance at victory. in that way he would’ve lost no matter what happened.

the american people in the show already lost, no matter who took over as CEO.

the whole point is that it’s all bullshit and only roman realized in the end that they spent their whole lives killing themselves and each other and a whole country over meaningless bullshit and in lieu of dealing with their own traumas and faults.

there are no winners and there were never supposed to be any winners no matter what happened, as long as the corrupt toxic culture that was at the heart of waystar, and that the company kindled in the american public, remained untouched.

[sage-nebula]

your tags..ur right about nine not owning it to anyone and man,, thats what hurts the most to me... its just ouch... i love how his trauma is writen

It's really validating, tbh.

I won't go into details, but I was abused as a child / teen. And while in that environment I did what I could to minimize harm (unless I was purposefully redirecting it onto myself so that it wouldn't get turned on my dog), when I was outside that environment (e.g. the rare times I was in school) or when I left, my default reaction to any perceived threat was Fight. Someone told me to move on the bus because they wanted my seat? I gave them a library of curse words and threats and made it clear I was ready to follow through. Some guy kept annoying me even after I told him repeatedly that I was going to hurt him if he didn't stop? I grabbed him by the hair, slammed his head into a locker, and held him there until he started crying and I had blood under my nails. To be clear, this was not good. I was severely traumatized and was not put into therapy like I should have been, and as such had zero emotional regulation skills. I was 5'0", 70lbs of pure rage the second I saw anything as a potential threat / bully / harm. And when I did get in fights, I ended them as fast as possible.

So to have Nine's default be Fight? To have him be bullied and abused and decide, okay, he's going to build weapons to defend himself with, and he will use them, and he will prioritize his safety above all else no matter whose throat he needs to rip out to do it? Yeah, that's validating! Again, it's not good; he's severely traumatized and leaning hard into unhealthy coping mechanisms (familiar unhealthy coping mechanisms) as a result. But it's nice to, for once, see a trauma survivor who isn't an uwu timid flower. Because while some trauma survivors do fall into Flight or Fawn as their default, some also fall into Fight. And for any kids out there who are unfortunately in a situation like this, who decide that their default when they get bullied or harassed or abused is to start swinging fists (or office supplies because they're in the school library), I think it would be pretty validating for them, too. Although, again, hopefully they eventually get out of that situation and get some help, because none of this is healthy no matter how validating it is.

(And on the note of not owing anyone—yeah, see, because that's the thing. Obviously the one most at fault for the abuse is the abuser. But those who saw the signs and still did nothing are culpable, too. My neighbors who heard the screaming and did nothing, my teachers who saw me show up to school with no lunch and no lunch money and in clothes that reeked of cigarette smoke because my biomom smoked in the car with the windows rolled up and me inside, and this was on the rare occasion I was even sent to school to begin with and they still did nothing—yeah, they're culpable. They could've intervened, and they chose not to. I'm an adult now so I'm pretty much over it, but I understand Nine's anger toward a city that never helped him. They ignored his suffering, so why shouldn't he ignore theirs? It's not a heroic attitude to have, but when you've been through something like he has, being a hero is the last thing on your mind. And he's not wrong for that.)

[sweaters-and-vertigo]

flirting 101

[sw33t-oubliette]

natm fandom doesnt talk abt larry enough in this essay i w

[swiss-army-fangirl]

.

[mothusband]

no storm surveyors came to confirm anything but after looking at the damage and talking with everyone who lives around my house my dad says they're pretty sure it was a tornado that hit saturday night. so 😬

[justinhubbell]

Hyperactive as in

"I run into many things."

Put in the tags how many scars you have and how you got them

[adeadlightbulbuwu]

Oh Lord BuzzFeed give me the answers to the universe in the young hours of the morning (one am)