#I am not mentally okay right now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blackshadowswriter · 1 year ago

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STFU I MET LANDO NORRIS HE SIGNED MY SHIRT AND TOOK A PIC WITH ME WTF IS MY LIFE RNNN

#I am not mentally okay right now #I'm still processing it #I FUCKING MET HIM #he LOOKED at me #he took a PICTURE with me #he touched my SHARPIE #IM DEAD RN #SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP #HE'S MY FAVORITE F1 DRIVER OF ALL TIME AND I MET HIM #LANDO KNOWS I EXIST #MY LIFE IS COMPLETE #lando norris #mclaren #f1

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icewindandboringhorror · 26 days ago

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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

#ootd #jfashion #fashion #fantasy fashion #mori kei #....like... adjacent... lol #no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character #finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited #the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it #im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media #enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the #outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on #Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort #of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like #'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc #The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well #I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere #somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over #tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days #I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol #But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent #been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years #but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you #find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter #where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it

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hercarisntyours · 2 months ago

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the very thought of elita getting her own spin off is so very brain destroying I feel my brain cells breaking down as my brain attempts to keep my heart beating as said heart goes a thousand miles per hour it may just be a director wish but i will take all i can get i can't feel my toes the wind is rushing in my ears I'm overloading windows blue screening i'm rocking back and forth I'm I don't think anyone realised what this news would do to me

#AS YOU CAN TELL I AM VERY NORMAL RIGHT NOW #i'm about to break down #This news has broke me #I'm #i'm not okay #my brain has melted #:(((( but make it :DDDD but make it a mental breakdown <3 #elita one #tf one #elita 1 #tf one elita #transformers one #transformers

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that-butch-archivist · 6 months ago

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Just realized I could apply to intern at the Lesbian Herstory Archives. I need to intern at the Lesbian Herstory Archives.

#going through some kind of mental discombobulation right now holy shit #okay i'm normal i'm normal #(i'm not normal)#i have to focus i am a focuser #holy shit #the archivist very loudly and shrilly starts screaming #archivist talk

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forest-fire-witness · 2 months ago

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You are Spring.

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squisheebugdoodles · 4 months ago

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Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired

#despite making more money w/ my commissions than ever before this year #i am still. not able to save up literally even one (1) single penny of it bc of bills #i have to make like 600 every month just to break even at like 5 dollars in my acct #please i am so fucking tired #i want to get myself things and do shit #i want to buy things for archie and jack's dog and for the house so that things are better for all of us #i want to be able to afford snacks more than once every three months like if i maybe want a bag of chips #instead of saving up for three months and going 'yeah okay 5 dollars for a normal sized bag of chips is finally worth it' ?????????????????#why the fuck are chips so expensive that is potatoes and spices and like all of it is automated hello?? what are we fucking paying for?????#ANYWAYS.#i am just fucking. Tired #due to recent events I was like #'okay how much are dog treadmills.... oh. i see. i will never be able to afford that even after three years saving. got it'#there are five hundred fundraisers on my dash (BARELY hyperbole) every single day and everybody needs help #so i COMPLETELY get people not having a ton of disposable funds this isn't me complaining about that i'm just.#i wish that i sometimes had money so that i could MAYBE save anything up or y'know. have ANYTHING to show for it #bc right now i am working full time at this job (commission/freelance artist and adopt maker etc) and making like maybe 4 dollars an hour #which is great bc when i started i was only getting about $0.11 an hour but like. that's still not. Good. For all the time i put into it #but due to circumstances and situations this is about all i'm physically and mentally able to do here and i LIKE doing commission but it's #not really. getting me anywhere and i just want to afford things finally.#i'm 27 and everything i own fits in one room and almost all of it was gifted to me for free bc i couldn't afford to get it on my own #delete later i'm just so tired man

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seventh-district · 11 months ago

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OCD will literally remove your brain's ability to register when a task is Complete and then create 10,000 incredibly ridiculous and extremely specific rules for you to follow in every single aspect of your life (to keep you safe, of course, it tells you.) and then tells you that if you don’t do them Correctly and Completely every single time it tells you to (it tells you countless times per day) then the Entire Fucking World Will End and then it’ll do this fucked up thing where it makes you believe that nonsense.

and then people that don’t have it will make silly little jokes about being soooooo OCD and make t-shirts with fun little acronyms on them like Obsessive Coffee Disorder and tell you how much they like it when things are organized and clean, too!!

and then you’re supposed to just. laugh. like you haven’t been robbed of your entire being and potential and been taken over by a mind and life altering disability

#PSA: don’t fucking tell me to Seek Therapy or Try Medication. i am Aware. i have Tried. it isn’t that fucking simple #and this is my blog. i’ll complain about my illnesses all i want to. if you don’t like it i strongly encourage you to unfollow me #ocd #actually ocd #cw ocd #cw mental illness #mental health stuff #Seven.txt #Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is actually SO goddamn insidious. and only ppl that have lived with it will understand that #it’s a terrible terrible thing. to have something ruin your entire life under the guise of keeping you safe #it’s like being abused by your own mind and i don’t say that lightly #okay. stopped crying long enough to get this post out of my brain and onto my blog #gonna put Walking Disaster on loop and return to my Mental Illness Floor Time now #if no one hears from me for a little while it’s not personal i just. need to not be a Person right now. i’m so tired

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sleepy-crypt1d · 20 days ago

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actually inconsolable rn

FINALLY got to the sick simon fight on my first time ever doing nightmare mode and the first valve just noclipped through the floor

i watched it sink in horror and then just stared at the place it once was as the sounds of grinding chains and screaming slowly got louder in my ears

this is a great game with no issues

#cry of fear #i!! am so okay right now!!#i have to redo SO MUCH #AND I WAS DOING SO WELL #im fine im normal it's chill it's not like i have to redo the entire mental hospital section or anything #i love this game and have nooooo issues with it at all nope hah aha haha ahsdha #ripping it apart in my teeth

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago

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There's this idea I see sometimes that you can only like food insofar as you use it as a tool to satiate your hunger, but honestly? It's okay to like food not for how it serves you but for what it feels like and means.

It's okay to like food because it tastes good, because it reminds you of your childhood and your culture, because it reminds you of beautiful nostalgic memories. It's okay to like food. Food is such an integral part of the human experience. The more we minimize food as "solely a tool," the less connected we are to not only food but to ourselves because so often, people tie their bodies in with food and how it does or does not serve them.

#recovery #food #disordered eating tw #eating disorder tw #(just for the implication)#something i am trying to internalize while recovering #the idea that food is solely a tool personally harmed me because it stripped food down to something i must sufficiently earn #but right now i am cooking spaghetti because i want to taste it and because while i am not hungry i know i have not eaten enough to be okay #and i'm going to learn to be happy about it or hell at the very least indifferent and unafraid by it #i will have done more damage to my physical and mental wellbeing by ignoring my body than ever eating for the sake of tasting something good #insert that one jack black gif from school of rock where he says '...because i LIKE TO EAT'#making my italian ancestors happy by eating spaghetti but pissing them off to seeing red by snapping the spaghetti in half to cook it

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pochapal · 15 days ago

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girl who deserves a gold sticker for having a mature and measured relationship conversation instead of letting the self sabotage tendencies win

#:)#sometimes you're an unreliable narrator going through an unnoticed mental health episode #that makes you think and perceive untrue things!#rn i am still thinking and perceiving these things but i have talked it out #and rather than spiralling so bad it warps things #i am focusing very much on short term getting by #i have deadlines this week and a hospital appointment and anything else will not matter until it is here #i am NOT making irrational judgement calls i am instead letting people drag me out of the sludge pit #once i am in a better headspace i will assess how i feel again but only then #at present i can't trust my judgement and that's okay! just gotta get thru the here and now :3 #charli xcx was right......it really is crazy girl shit

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hikarry · 2 months ago

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Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:

I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment

I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month

To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin

How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself

I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart

So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead