#but right now i am cooking spaghetti because i want to taste it and because while i am not hungry i know i have not eaten enough to be okay

[uncanny-tranny]

There's this idea I see sometimes that you can only like food insofar as you use it as a tool to satiate your hunger, but honestly? It's okay to like food not for how it serves you but for what it feels like and means.

It's okay to like food because it tastes good, because it reminds you of your childhood and your culture, because it reminds you of beautiful nostalgic memories. It's okay to like food. Food is such an integral part of the human experience. The more we minimize food as "solely a tool," the less connected we are to not only food but to ourselves because so often, people tie their bodies in with food and how it does or does not serve them.

[writingduhh]

hii so i was wondering if you could do hansumfella x chef!reader and tyler’s doing a cooking stream and she helps him do it doesn’t turn out like ass 😇🙏🏼

You got it!! Hope this is okkk! I’m still new to writing for him so bear with me

Hansumfella || Cooking Stream

Tyler had been hyping up his cooking stream for weeks. He wanted to show off his culinary skills—or at least try to acquire some. You, his partner and a professional chef, had reluctantly agreed to help him when he had offered.

The stream started with Tyler setting up the camera, greeting his audience with his usual charm.

"Hey everyone, welcome to today's special cooking stream! I have my beautiful partner, Y/N, here to make sure I don't burn down the kitchen."

“YEESSS Y/N!”

“Finally some good food 😭”

“I missed y/n sm”

“Y/N SAVE US.”

You waved to the camera, smiling warmly. "Hi everyone! I'm here to guide Tyler and hopefully, we’ll create something delicious together. Or well, at least edible.” You jest, earning a big reaction from chat.

“BURN”

“$10 he still ruins it.”

“I can actually relax now because he won’t die.”

“Edible 💀”

The plan was to make a simple dish: spaghetti carbonara. Tyler had chosen it because it sounded fancy, but you knew it was straightforward enough for a beginner with some guidance.

"Alright, first step is to boil the pasta. Fill that pot with water and add a generous amount of salt."

Tyler followed instructions, making faces at the camera as he poured the salt. "Is this generous enough?" he asked, holding up the container.

"More," you replied with a chuckle. "You want the water to taste like the ocean." He nodded and proceeded to pour more into the pan. Once he saw the excess salt on his hands he had an idea.

“Hey y/n, y/n, look. Want something salty?” He smirks, his lips now covered in salt.

You rolled your eyes playfully, fighting a smile. "Focus, Romeo. We've got a meal to make."

“Nope. You have to taste some or I won’t help anymore.” He mumbles, lips still puckered.

“But this is your stream… Oh alright.” You playfully scoff, accepting his kiss much to the amusement of the chat.

As the water heated up, you moved on to preparing the pancetta. You showed Tyler how to dice it properly, and he mimicked your actions, though his pieces were noticeably uneven.

"Perfect," you said encouragingly. "Now, let's get that cooking in the pan. Low and slow, we want it crispy but not burnt."

The chat couldn’t help but chime in

“PERFECT?!”

“It looks like he ripped them apart by hand”

“Helll nah 💀”

“Y/n is so patient…. Couldn’t be me”

Tyler narrated every step dramatically for the audience, keeping them entertained with his usual antics. "Look at me, slicing and dicing like a pro. How am I doing, chef?" He turned to you with an exaggeratedly hopeful look.

"Not bad, but don’t quit your day job," you teased, nudging him with your elbow.

"Harsh, but fair," Tyler laughed. "I guess I’ll have to rely on my charm to keep you around."

You smirked, leaning closer. "Maybe if you cook this meal right, you'll earn a reward later." You we’re honestly quite shocked by your own words, but it was too late to take them back.

Tyler’s eyes widened, and he turned back to the camera with a grin. "You hear that, chat? High stakes tonight!"

Things started to get more chaotic when Tyler accidentally knocked over the pepper grinder, spilling peppercorns all over the counter. "Uh, that was intentional. That’s what we call 'seasoning the kitchen' in the industry…” he joked, bending down to pick them up.

You laughed, shaking your head. "Less seasoning the kitchen, more seasoning the food."

While whisking the eggs and cheese together, Tyler got a bit too enthusiastic, splattering some of the mixture onto his shirt. "Ah shit. Looks like I’m adding some extra flavor.”

You handed him a towel, still chuckling. "Try not to add yourself to the recipe."

"Noted," Tyler said, dabbing at his shirt. To his dismay he only made the stain worse.

“Ugh. Should I just take my shirt off?”

“I mean, that’s up to you.”

“Nah, I won’t. That’s only for you to see.” He winks, your face uncontrollably turning red as a sea of comments emerge.

"Alright, now comes the tricky part," you said, your tone a bit more serious. "When the pasta is done, we're going to mix it with the egg and cheese mixture off the heat, so the eggs cook gently and make a creamy sauce."

"No pressure, right?" Tyler joked, though a hint of nerves showed in his voice.

"You’ve got this," you assured him, placing a hand on his arm. "And I’m right here to help."

When it came time to drain the pasta, Tyler nearly lost the whole pot in the sink, fumbling with the colander. "Crisis averted!" he declared triumphantly, holding up the drained pasta.

You shook your head, laughing. "Careful! You almost dropped it."

Tyler made exaggerated whisking motions, earning laughs from both you and the chat. "Is this how you do it, or am I just showing off my guns?"

"Less showing off, more whisking. We want it smooth and creamy, not chunky."

"Got it, boss," Tyler said with a mock salute.

You managed the final steps together, Tyler following your lead. When they plated the carbonara, it actually looked—and smelled—delicious. Tyler took a dramatic bite on camera, his eyes widening in exaggerated delight.

"This is amazing! You’re a miracle worker, Y/N," he said, leaning in to give you a quick kiss on the cheek as his arm slung over your shoulder

You blushed, smiling at the camera. "Couldn’t have done it without my amazing assistant."

Tyler turned back to the audience with a grin. "Alright, chat, if you liked this stream, let me know, and maybe Y/N will come back for another round. What do you say?"

The chat exploded with enthusiastic responses, and Tyler wrapped up the stream with a promise to cook more often—with your help, of course. As the camera turned off, he pulled you into a warm embrace.

"Thanks for saving my bacon—literally," he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"Anytime," you replied, snuggling closer. "Now, about that reward…"

[vasyandii]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore your IHNMAIMS oc. I'm a OC x canon enthusiast and seeing a character so well written and adapted to the story as Vernon is makes me so excited!! Plus your art is literally amazing. I've been curious since you mentioned how Vernon cuts potions of her meal to give them to AM and how the food improved since AM got his body, what food/meals do Vernon and AM like/dislike/have as favourite? -for AM, at least from what he has tasted- Whether if it's because of the taste, flavour, etc.

Howdy Anon! Thank you so much for the kind words, I've been giddy since I got it a few days ago! I'm glad my OC x Canon content gets your stamp of Approval >:D!! 💞💞

VernonAM 🏺🖥️ Food Preferences

I think Vernon is careful in choosing the food she shares with AM because he will eat literally ANYTHING. She would try to eat things to torture herself with, extremely spicy foods, live insects, raw organs, etc. but then remember that she has to "Feed AM". So she opts out for something normal so his taste buds don't get fucked.

Or as normal as it can get, the food kind of has the uncanny valley effect as well. It looks normal and tastes normal, but she feels there's something a bit off about it (kind of like airplane food). So she often leaves criticism to the Chef™ (AM) or asks to cook instead.

Vernon isn't particularly picky when it comes to food, she'll eat it and clean her plate. She likes her food balanced, vegetables/meat with sauce and all that. If it tastes good, she'll eat it, y'know?

AM is more... difficult. Sure, he'll eat anything, but if it tastes really bad, it'll traumatize him and he'll refuse to eat it for a while.

His food has to not be touching, if it's mixed in all together beforehand he'll eat it. If there's sauce it shouldn't be close enough to where it can contaminate the food AM's eating because he WILL taste it, no matter how small the amount is. His utensils need to be a specific size, and the food HAS to be hot/warm. He needs to be able to see or know every ingredient in it.

It's observed that AM likes fried foods/anything crunchy because of how consistent they are in taste, texture, and flavour. So what ends up happening is Vernon will just include those foods into her meal, just to not eat it and have it on a little plate for him.

Vernon asks him why he can't just make food for himself, his response is "I don't need to eat, I eat when when you eat."

But honestly it's a pretty dumb question now that she's looking back on it. AM has all the knowledge in the world about food, everything ever made, everything he's never tasted. So he's basically asking Her, indirectly, "I don't know where to start or what's good. But you do. I trust you. Feed me."

Now here's some of the meals They've had together (+ AM's comments):

Chicken soup ("Too wet", just ate the broth)

Caesar Salad ("Damp, Crunchy water")

Vanilla ice cream (experienced a brain freeze for the first time, thought his body was malfunctioning)

Spaghetti Bolognese ("No I will not be mixing it, you mix it for me")

Western beef stew (He picked out the potatoes and only ate those. Thought the meat was irritating to eat.)

Baby carrots. ("You know they bleach these, right?")

Asparagus (he likes them. Needs to be warm)

Broccoli (same thing)

Cheese Pizza (Ate it, ate too much. Tummy hurted.)

Tempura (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Fish and chips (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Coffee, black (spat it out)

Macaroni and cheese (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Grilled chicken hearts skewers (He liked it, but kept poking the roof of his mouth with the skewer.)

Half a Hamburger (picked out the vegetables because he didn't like them, still tasted it and gave the rest to Vernon)

Half a cheeseburger (ate it with no fuss.)

Aaand that'll be all for now :) if you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you need any clarifications, feel free to tell me!

[mournings-stars]

i loved the adam with a fat!reader 🥹 so cute, id love to see lucifer with a reader similar? like maybe shorter like him and a bit on the chubby side 🙏

AHHH THATS SO CUTE

imagine you’re like a chef or baker or something, maybe hellborn, maybe a sinner, and you meet him at an event that he’s just required to go to, so he’s staying by the catering tables and just busying himself with food so he doesn’t have to talk to anyone

“i know it’s a buffet, darlin’, but you’re milking my lil’ supply dry.” and imagine you have the cutest lil accent like maybe it’s southern if you’re hellborn or soft, 50’s movie-type transatlantic if you’re a sinner (i kinda wanna write this now actually so tell me what u prefer…)

first he’d look up, just expecting you to be taller than him, but then he’d look down and see you and immediately try to hand his plate back because how could he take your business for granted when you’re standing right in front of his and so sweet… and beautiful — like he’s not blind, he can see that you’re gorgeous. and if he’s honest the food isn’t good enough to get so many plates, but your restaurant would certainly be popular when you’re the precious little face of it

but he has to stop himself because his thoughts are certainly bordering on rude now, so he’s scrambling to apologize like, “i’m sorry — i see why your food’s so popular now, HAHA, you’re gorgeous — i mean, your food is amazing, but—“

“but?” and then he just shuts up. “no keep going, but what, your majesty?” and he is fumbling, because he can’t tell you he thinks the food is mediocre when he’s been shoving it down his throat all night, but then you say, “i know it’s not my best; they had me here last minute, frettin’ over twenty trays each of my best dishes, which can’t be the best if they’re repeated twenty times,” and even though you’re talking on and on, he’s listening and nodding on and on because because you’re just speaking to him so naturally

“am i talking to much?” “yes — i mean, no! i could listen to you talk all night!”

the rest is literally history, like you tell him to come to your restaurant to see what your cooking is really like, and when he finds out its just a small little restaurant with a couple tables and an old kitchen, he’s amazed because it tastes even better than it did at the event

once he decides to ask you out, and he decides quick, he knows he can’t ask you out to eat, or to an event, or to his house, or to the movies, or—

“you wanna get somethin’ to eat sometime?” and you’re literally asking him before he can even think to ask. “maybe you could cook for me?” you suggest slyly and he’s too flustered to say anything so he just nods. “i’ll make sure i dress fancy for you then, majesty.” and this man is MELTING

and if there’s one thing he learns about you that night its that you are not insecure about anything — your first conversation of you doubting your cooking skills might’ve made him think otherwise, but now he knows it’s just not the case

and you have no reason to be insecure; about your cooking, about anything — hell, you look amazing all dolled up just to come to his home for his 8-minute spaghetti… at least he made homemade meatballs. and those were pretty good! you even complimented them, which gave him a very much needed ego boost to get through the night confidently

and when his confidence finally shows, you’re sure he’s what you want, so you don’t bother taking your time with leading up to kisses or anything past that. you take what you want, with permission, and give him what he wants

and he loves it about you, like, you’re so sure of yourself, confident, and carry yourself with so much charm that people just step out of your way, even with your short stature, which he also loves about you — it’s nice having someone shorter around for once, but he’d definitely shape-shift and let himself be shorter than you for a day or so if you wanted

along those lines, he would give you any and everything you wanted. even if you didn’t ask, he’d give it to you — he’ll get you a new restaurant, new equipment, appliances… hell, he’ll even get you a new apartment… that is, if you don’t move in with him

and he would ask, a million times he’d ask because he just loves being with you that much. whenever you come over, or he goes to your place, he’s stuck to you. he watches you cook, helps if you let him — he bakes! he can bake, but of course he finds out you can too, and he insists you’re much better, but you insist that you do it together since this was much less dangerous than letting him rummage through your spice cabinet

if he’s not helping you, he’s hugging you from behind and watching what you do, hands running all over you, feeling the soft plush of your thighs and hips, your stomach, anything you’ll let him touch which he kisses your cheeks and neck and shoulders — literally anything you’ll let him do because he just loves listening to your precious laughter as he loves on you, or your sighs when he marks your neck or shoulder

this man LOVES lying with his head on your lap or in between your thighs. literally anything to do with your thighs or resting his head on your stomach, like, he’s fully back in heaven

he also loves you on top of him, straddling him while you comb your fingers through his hair, legs across his lap as you read, cuddled up to him as you watch a movie or sleep, he can’t get enough of you

and don’t get me started on the nsfw like… head between your legs all fucking day, squeeze his head with your thighs — like actually do it because he will come undone

[mawofthemagnetar]

MAGNETAR'S CHICKEN SOUP

I'm home sick today so fuck it. Chicken soup recipie. If you are a professional chef, look away now. If you have ADHD and only intermittently have enough brain-juice to cook, like me, this recipe is for you. This makes a fuck-ton of soup that can be individually frozen for later, which is really handy because it makes many filling tasty meals with minimal effort.

YOU WILL NEED:

1 entire pre-cooked chicken from the rack at the grocery store. The whole thing. Don't eat it while it's on the counter. 1-2 entire white onions. Depends how much of an onion fan you are. I am a huge onion fan.

3-4 carrots.

3-4 celery sticks.

3-4 stalks of green onions

A box of ditali pasta and half a box of spaghetti

Spices: Salt, OREGANO, Basil, rosemary, mustard seeds. Optional, or if you're out of mustard seed: coriander.

you'll also need two large pots, and a sieve.

The instructions are long, so they're under the cut.

Chop all vegetables and put them aside on the counter.

Fill the big pot with water and put it on the stove. put the second pot aside.

Cut up the cooked chicken and cut out all the bones. put the bones, skin, and carcass in the pot and start boiling it. Bare minimum you want to boil it for like two hours, but you should really boil it for way longer- you're making stock out of the bones, so the longer you boil, the better. Generally speaking, when the water goes cloudy, you're on the right track.

chop up all the meat and put it aside.

fuck off to go play minecraft/skyrim/actually get some work done/write fic/ whatever while the stock simmers.

Whenever you get bored of waiting, or after enough time has passed, strain the bones out of the stock into the second pot, and KEEP THE WATER. KEEP. THE. WATER. DO NOT DRAIN THE WATER OUT YOU NEED THAT THAT'S LITERALLY YOUR SOUP.

okay, pour that back into your main pot after you have all the bones out. Now toss in all the veg and meat. Salt the water here- you'll need to taste it. When the soup tastes rich and rounded, that's enough. Don't over-salt or you'll wreck it.

okay now toss in all your spices.

If the water level is low, add another glass of water.

Fuck off for another 10-20 minutes, set a timer on your phone while it all cooks. When the onions go clear, you're done.

Toss in the pasta.

Cook for another 10 minutes.

Once the pasta is soft, you're done.

And that's it. That's my soup. I am not a great cook, but I hope this is helpful to...someone.

Enjoy!

[buildingshitwithcrab]

Cincinnati Chili [edible]

Hooboy. Recently--as in, tonight--Ballistic BBQ on youtube had an episode on how to copycat Skyline coneys (chili dogs.) And gdi, I am A Chili Person now because I Have Issues with his lack of research into the subject. I had a comment written out, trying to be both CORRECTIVE yet polite, but you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna save my long-time, hard-won experience with you fine folk, instead.

Recipe first, then notes:

For those non-fluent in Chickenscratch:

2T peanut oil (optional) 28oz tomato puree 1lb ground beef 1lb ground pork 6 cloves garlic, minced 2t cinnamon 1T cumin 2T Worcestershire 3 bay leaves (optional) 4T white vinegar 2 15oz cans kidney beans, drained & rinsed (see notes) 4T pure chili powder (see notes) 2t allspice 4T unsweetened cocoa powder 2t regular Tabasco sauce

toppings: 1 small finely chopped white onion (optional) yellow mustard (hella optional) finely shredded cheddar cheese (not optional)

Put oil into stock pot; on med heat, sweat 1/4 to 1/2 of garlic until fragrant. Add meat and cook until pink is gone, stirring thoroughly to break grounds into crumbles. No chunks. Skim away fat; does not need to be thoroughly drained unless desired (see notes.) Add puree and remainder of garlic. Stir to combine. Add liquids, stir. Add powders, through a sifter if possible. Otherwise, stir, making sure any balls of cocoa powder get broken down. If adding beans directly into chili (see notes), add them now, and stir to combine.

If eating chili right away, heat until hot, stirring fairly frequently; if making in advance, transfer to a lidded container, allow to cool, and refrigerate until needed. Flavors will develop and meld very nicely over 24 hours, but the hot, fresh chili will still be spicy and tasty.

Makes... gawd... 4-6 adult servings of chili spaghetti, or can cover about 16 hot dogs. We tend to get 2 separate meals of 3 generous adult portions & sometimes a little leftover for dip, from one batch.

(blurry 35mm photos from like 2003)

Notes:

this recipe originated from The Frugal Gourmet Cooks American; as presented here, it has inclusions from the original, and adjustments (usually omissions) I have made over 20-some years of cooking it. I cook it to eat it, not to adhere to best practices nor perfect authenticity.

peanut oil is optional if you go straight to browning the meat and then at the garlic after skimming most of the fat. It's just in the original recipe, and just for sweating the garlic. would NOT recommend subbing any oil with a distinct flavor (olive, sunflower, etc.)

I originally added the bay leaves a few times, but never really noticed them adding much to the mix. safe to omit, if you don't have any.

coneys do not really have beans, unless requested. if you're only going to use the chili on hot dogs, or just don't want them, you can choose not to use any. if you'd like smaller beans on/in coney chili, rinsed black beans work well, also. I like the beans in general, and add them in for convenience, since I'm usually going to have one meal of coneys and one of spaghetti. typically, the beans are a separate topping on the chili, and not folded into the chili itself. people from Cincinnati will judge you. I'm from Dayton, though, so I won't.

ALL Cincinnati chili comes with finely shredded cheddar (looking at YOU, Ballistic BBQ.) it's technically a garnish, but it's a big flavor component of the entire dish. you will not find store-bought cheese shredded as finely as the parlors use. this is expected, and okay.

"chili powder" in grocery stores tends to be a blend of several different spices anymore. I don't know when this happened. additional cumin, any oregano, etc. will noticeably alter this recipe's taste, and in my opinion, not in a good way. BE AWARE that grocers that have sections for Indian ingredients may have jars of "pure chili powder", but these are MUCH HOTTER than the chilis in US blends. Maybe you want that, but don't find out by accident like I did. I recommend cutting to the chase and ordering pure chili powder from MexGrocer.com. I get their California and New Mexico powders, both nice and reasonable, and combine them. one packet of each should yield enough powder for this recipe, with a little left over. a neighborhood Mexican grocery is likely to have pure powders, too, but I don't know the specific types to recommend. some of those can pretty hot by surprise, as well.

skimming the fat is up to you. if you do, your chili will be thicker and a bit brighter in spice. if you don't, it will be thinner (more like parlor chili, tbh,) and a little bit mellowed. the viscosity is the biggest difference. thicker doesn't drip off of coney as easily, but you might want thinner to soak deeper into your spaghetti. however you normally approach excess meat juices should be fine.

another spice altering aspect: you can leave out the ground pork and just use 1lb ground beef, to save money. your chili will have a slightly stronger tomato flavor, and a little more spice. you can also leave out the pork and use 2lb beef, the pork is just ~authentic~ because Cincinnati has a shitload of pork processors. you could probably sub ground turkey for the pork, as I understand it absorbs other meats' flavors, but you'd still need the beef to flavor it. another matter of personal tastes or circumstances.

and another: a spoonful of sour cream on spaghetti chili will mild it down very nicely while still being delicious, if it's too spicy for someone. for coneys or a chip dip, mix your desired ratio aside in a bowl, and enjoy.

by "cocoa powder", the recipe means like Baker's Corner, Hershey's--the same stuff you'd bake with or add to hot milk, just unsweetened. Some people (BBBQ) like to make it sound fancy with "cacao", but it's just unsweetened cocoa.

salt is not included as an ingredient, because my family has cut way back on using it at all for... probably the same 20 years I've been making chili. my dad got diagnosed with high blood pressure when he retired, and to help him out, my mom and I both decided it wasn't our favorite spice in the world anyway, and started leaving it out when it's not necessary (it's necessary in baking. don't fuck too much with baking recipes.) I also find that vinegar has a lot of same zing flavor that salt does, without the salt, and this recipe has a lot of vinegar, plus salt in the Worcestershire, Tabasco, and cheese. that's plenty for us, but feel free to add salt to taste, if you'd like more.

toppings: frankly, everything but the chili itself is one. chili + cheese + hotdog = coney. chili + cheese + spaghetti = 3-way. add onion = 4-way. add beans = 5-way. the mustard is always optional, it's just very popular. I... have never gone there, and don't intend to. parlors also offer very basic cayenne hot sauces, to add heat without much flavor distraction. this is just for authenticity; hot sauce it however you like.

Cincinnati chili, itself, is not Greek--Skyline's founder is. Skyline did not invent the chili. Macedonian immigrants did. Skyline certainly added some Greek influence to their family variation, and a lot of people like it, but BBBQ did not research the history beyond Skyline as a company, and made assumptions. do not make assumptions about history a whole city has civic pride in. shit, just admit you don't know, you're just there to make some good chili dogs, and youtube commenters will fill in those gaps for you.

[princesspastel8]

Chapter 47

Third POV

'Wait, as long as you need me to' was complete bullshit. To say Jeff is struggling would be a HUGE understatement. Almost everything Eboni does seems to turn him on to some extent. The way her eyes flutter when she's talking to him, her long lashes match perfectly with her almond shaped eyes. The way her giggles fill the room at a stupid joke, BEN would say. The way she's slowly, but surely getting better thanks to him - even her breathing makes him hard. Everything that is Eboni Brown is sending Jeff's libido into overdrive. Maybe it's because he hasn't done anything for a whole month and feels to pent up. That aside, he hopes she hasn't noticed.

She has. Eboni totally has. She's not upset with him and finds it a bit funny. She's thankful at how considering he's being but can tell he's really struggling. She hates that even the thought of being intimate again with him terrifies her. The two no longer take showers together, and Eboni refuses for him to care for her the way he wants - meaning no more baths, washing her hair, and braiding it. She's practically stripping the sense of control he has regarding her, and it has him on edge.

They have spoken of this, and both parties are understanding but also struggling. Eboni wants to give him control again. She loved being cherished, taken care of, and pampered- but the poor girl still needs time. Jeff will give her that, no matter how many times he has to use his right hand for pleasure in the meantime.

Right now, Eboni is in the kitchen, helping prepare Thanksgiving. BEN was able to hack her foster's parents' credit card so Brian could go and buy everything on the list Eboni prepared with Iris's help, of course.

Jeff can't understand why his girl wants to cook for these low lives. They don't care about her. They want nothing to do with her. If anything, they want to hurt her for disturbing the atmosphere within the slender mansion. Eboni is very aware of this, thanks to Jeff's consist rants- but the girl is stubborn and tired of laying in bed all damn day.

Right now, Eboni is making her mother's famous spaghetti, greens, mac & cheese, sweet potato pies, and a cake in both ovens. EJ, BEN, and Jeff are watching her in awe. Jeff knows his girl can cook, but not to this extent - he also never tried her food before. Watching Eboni sway her hips and move so gracefully around the kitchen is giving him another hard on.

"......fucking hell." He curses himself, willing his eyes to look at anything else besides her.

"Again?" BEN questions with a knowing grin.

"I will shove your fucking face in boiling hot water." Jeff threatens, thankful his hoodie is long enough to hide his crotch.

"To be real, Jeff, I'm surprised you haven't lost your control." BEN said, going back to watching Eboni.

"What a way to have faith - dipshit."

"I'm a demon. That word means nothing to me." He shrugs.

"He has a point, Jeff. I was a bit worried myself - still am." EJ chimes in.

"If you read those messages... you'd do anything to hold yourself back." He grumbles, fishing out his phone.

"Then show us if you're comfortable, that is."

Jeff glances at Eboni again, her back still facing towards them. He sighs, giving EJ the phone and BEN to look over the messages. Their eyes seem to widen as they scroll through them all, mouths open in disbelief. The two look at Jeff, giving the phone back.

".....in front of the whole football team!?" BEN whisper shouts.

"Yup." The smiling killer responds flatly.

"Oh shit man...now I want to go kill the dude myself." EJ threatens, looking at Eboni with sadden eyes.

"Yeah, kill him, then eat him." BEN grins.

"Disgusting. I'm pretty sure he'll taste sour." EJ gags, making the other two chuckle faintly. "Anyways, Jeff, maybe when the time is right- give her control for once."

Jeff raises a brow, confused. "Huh? What the hell are you on about?"

EJ sighs, shaking his head as he walks further into the living room to sit down. "As I said, when the time is right- you'll know what I mean then."

Meanwhile, a certain child in a pink dress makes her way into the kitchen, watching Eboni from behind the counter. Eboni can sense the child near but chooses not to say anything. The child moves closer and gently tugs on the new hospital gown given to her by EJ.

Eboni looks down, taking in the young girl's appearance. The child has bright emerald green eyes, long wavy brown hair , and dressed in a pink dress. What catches her attention is the blood that is flowing from her head yet not dripping onto her dress nor the floor. Eboni also notices the teddy bear in her hand. The child seems tall for her odd childlike appearance.

"Hi!" The child said cheerfully. "I'm Sally!"

Eboni smiles at the girl. She has a soft spot for children, mostly based on what she has gone through in her childhood. "Hello. I'm Eboni, it's nice to meet you."

"Oh, we know who you are! Everyone does! Everyone is just too scared to approach you because of Jeff."

She laughs at Sally's boldness and lack of filter, a trait she loves in children. "Really now? Let me guess, he's threatened just about everyone to not come near me, huh?"

"Yup! But not me, though. As long as I don't 'annoy' him too much."

"Annoy him how?"

"Making him play with me and do my hair." Sally said, watching Eboni take the pies out of the oven and then the cakes out of the other.

"He does your hair? Really?" Eboni questions, taste testing the rest of her dishes while the pies and cakes cool.

"Yeah! He hated it at first, then suddenly he took more interest in it. Sometimes, he'll take me away from Laughing Jack just to practice or give me a new style." She smiles happily.

Eboni takes a second to glance at Jeff, who's still conversing with BEN & EJ. The smiling killer notices Eboni, looking at him and tilting his head. She smiles brightly at him, knowing exactly why he suddenly took an interest in Sally's hair - it's because of her. The sight steals Jeff's breath away, making his ghost white skin red hot. He averts his eyes, pushing BEN to the ground for his taunting remarks.

Sally sees everything and smiles once more. "So, like, are you and Jeff gonna get married?"

Eboni's eyes widen, a laugh slipping past her lips. "Married? What makes you ask that?"

"Well, my mom and dad told me when you love someone you married them. And you love Jeff, right? I know he loves you too!"

Love.

There goes that word again. Eboni can't understand why she struggles to say it. Even from the beginning, she could never bring herself to allow those words to leave her lips. It's like an unspoken declaration she isn't ready to make, in fear of losing him the moment she says it - just like her parents. The girl is aware that Jeff is also struggling for different reasons. Eboni can only hope that one day they'll cross their hurdles and gain the courage to finally say the word to one another.

"It's....a bit more complicated than that, Sally. A kid like you wouldn't understand."

"I'm... not a kid." Sally said lowly, bright green eyes dimming.

Eboni notices this while carefully dumping the cake out of its cooking mold. She pulls a chair out for sally to float up and sit next to her while she ices the cake. Something is strangely off about the child, yet Eboni feels most comfortable around her.

"Why do you say that, Sally?"

"Everyone treats me like a child. But I'm older than almost everyone here..." she huffs, holding her teddy bear close to her chest - something Eboni does when anxious.

"How...old are you?" Eboni questions hesitantly, not wanting to upset nor offend the child.

"I...can't remember. I just remember dying in 1970, then coming back to life with weird powers, now here I am." She shrugs, staring down at her teddy bear.

Eboni pauses, giving Sally her full attention. "....what happened?" She asks gently, her tone somewhat motherly.

Sally looks up at Eboni, tilting her head as she stares. Claire, her teddy bear, views Eboni as trustworthy, which is strange to the little girl. He hardly favors anyone, but Eboni is an exception, so Sally allows herself to tell Eboni her story.

"My uncle... Uncle Johnny really hurt me. It made me feel weird, and it hurt really, really badly. Mom didn't believe. She thought it was a nightmare. It wasn't! She didn't believe me, so she kept letting Uncle Johnny take me shopping...., we didn't go shopping. He took us to a park and did it again- but it hurt extra badly this time....the last thing I remember was hitting my head on something really hard, then waking up like this. I was alone until Laughing Jack found me and took me and brought me here. So here I am!" She said, trying to smile.

Eboni moves closer, bringing the girl into her arms. Eboni knows exactly what Sally was referring to. How could she not when something similar happened to her. Sally is surprised but giggles, snuggling into Eboni's warm motherly embrace. The two stay like this for a moment before Eboni remembers she has to finish icing the cake.

Once done, she let's the girl eat the leftover icing, bringing the light back within her green eyes. Eboni looks over the food, noticing it's done and now waiting for the Turkey to finish. She sits back down, smiling at the icing now all over Sally's face.

"Something similar happened to me very recently."

Sally gasp, "Did Jeff hurt you!? I'll beat him up if he did!"

Eboni chuckles, shaking her head. "No. No, it wasn't Jeff."

"So....it was a different mean man?"

"Yes. He was someone I thought I could trust, like how you trusted your uncle. He hurt me... really badly." Eboni explains, showing Sally her wrist and the scars her attempt left behind. "I almost died, but Jeff got to me in time - that's why I'm stuck here for a while."

Sally looks at her, moving to crawl onto her lap and hugs her, making Eboni laugh a bit. The girl now understands why she feels so comfortable with Sally. The two share similar haunting experiences with men they thought they could trust. Unbeknownst to them, a certain laughing clown and carved smiled killer watched the whole interaction.

"The food's ready. Why don't you call everyone in. It's time for Thanksgiving."

Sally nods eagerly, jumping off Eboni's lap and dashes around the mansion, letting all the proxies know that food is ready. Some are hesitant to try this random girl's cooking. Who's to say she didn't poison it in some way, though the fact she asked EJ if anyone was allergic to anything before cooking speaks volumes in how untrue that theory is.

Eboni makes Jeff's plate first, giving him everything and his Jack Daniel's. The killer smiles, leaning down to kiss her cheek, and whispers- "Thanks, princess."

He sits at the table, watching everyone with threatening eyes. He doesn't want anyone coming too close to Eboni. Once all the guys are served, Eboni begins making plates for the woman. Dispite Clockwork's dislike towards Eboni, she takes a plate from her and two more to give to Jane and Nina who are up in Nina's room - refusing to be anywhere near the girl. Petty, if you ask Eboni, not that she cares too much.

The guys are the first to try their food. Jeff's eyes widen, tastebuds dancing in delight. This is the first time trying Eboni's cooking, and to say the taste makes him fall more in love with her would be an understatement. He stares at Eboni in awe, as do most of the guys in the kitchen and living room.

"You know... they say the fastest way to a man's heart is their stomach." BEN grins, making Jeff glance around and notice how all the guys are looking at his girl.

"And their fucking hearts will be on EJ's plate if they try shit!" He warns, making them roll their eyes and continue with their meal. Jeff takes the time to praise Eboni. "Fuck princess, this shit is amazing. Who taught you how to cook like this?" He asked, mouth full.

Eboni giggles, moving to make her own plate of whatever is left, knowing everyone gotten their food first. "My mom. She was a world-famous chef."

"Really? What's her name?" Eyesless Jack ask.

"Amara Brown."

Most of the proxies' eyes seem to widen at the familiar name- all except for Jeff, Eyeless Jack, and Sally. However, the expressions of the others present didn't go unnoticed by them, but no one openly questions anyone for Eboni's sake since she hasn't noticed a thing with her back turned.

"Hm...think I heard of her a few times on TV." BEN said, quickly breaking the odd silence that fell.

"Yeah. Your cooking has nothing on that faceless fucker." Jeff comments, wanting seconds already. Luckily for him Eboni had a extra plate ready for him.

She hands him the extra plate with the smile. "Well, duh. Unlike him, I have a mouth to taste things." She winks.

Jeff was about to make a sly remark to her innuendo, but Sally beat him first. "Eboni! Come sit next to me!" The girl shouts from the living room, waving her over. Eboni has quickly become Sally's new favorite person besides Laughing Jack and Slenderman.

Eboni chuckles, kissing Jeff's forehead before making her way into the living room with her plate in hand. However, the sight of what's playing on the TV causes her to stop. The sight of Tiffany and Daniel making her blood run cold. She reads the title of the news program on the bottom of the screen.

"Eboni Brown: Abducted & Killed, or a mentally ill Runaway."

"Is there anything you wish to say to her in hopes of her returning home? If she truly did run away?" The report questions Tiffany, who is crying her eyes out, Daniel comforting her the best way he could.

"Eboni, sweetie, please come home. We can fix whatever is wrong. You can get better with help! Please, Eboni, we love you so much!"

Lies.

The view of her parents expands, showing two other people next to them - Taylor & Alex. The sight causes Eboni's body to tremble, making her drop her plate to the ground, drawing everyone's attention. Jeff is the first to her side, trying to snap her out of whatever trance she's in - that is, until he looks at the TV, knowing what's causing this.

"And you two? Anything you wish to say?"

Taylor is the first to speak, saying, "I knew sum' was off 'bout ha' when we first met. She started lots of fights and problems with randos in school, but I can tell she was just lonely, so I took ha' unda' my wing. But she suddenly started actin' different and I had ta' cut ties. I still care for her. I just hope she 'ight."

More lies.

Then came Alex, his voice bringing tears to his eyes. "She's my girl. We have a long history together. I wish she had opened up to me more about that day that serial killer almost killed her."

"Why do you ask?"

Alex sighs sadly, "She suddenly gained this odd paranoia - like he'd come back and kill her this time. I pray that's not what happened here. Dispite all that we've been through, with that video of her from a party and getting kicked from school... I hope she wasn't right about that killer stalking her." Tears begin falling from his eyes. "I hope she's ok...I hope she did run away - because if that killer took and killed her, I-I - won't know how to go on. Ebs means everything to me, and I swear if Jeff -"

"Jeff? The notorious Jeff the killer? Do you believe he's behind this?"

"Yes. That is the one who attacked my Ebs the first time. I just want my girl back. Ebs, if you're seeing this, please...please come back. I love you so much, Ebs!"

Lies.

LIES.

MORE LIES!

Eboni has no control over her body. Her own rage is taking over. She lifts the old box shaped TV, yanking the cord from the wall, and throws it to the wall - the screen shattering. Seeing that wasn't enough, the girl notices a metal bat and grabs it. She marches over and begins bashing the TV to bits, curses leaving her lips as well as her sobs.

Liars. Hippocrates. They only care about themselves, so concerned if their image being ruined by her when Eboni is the one that's truly suffering. And to drag Jeff into it only enrages her more. That only makes the situation more complicated if she ever goes back home. Police won't lay low, and Jeff would have to be more cautious. The thought makes the girl scream.

"Holy shit shut your dramatic ass up!" Nina shouts as she walks down the stairs.

Eboni doesn't, looking at Nina with the bat raised and ready to attack the girl until Masky steps in. He chuckles, almost full on laughing. "What you gonna do with a fucking bat Ebs? Hate your home life that much to throw a temper tantrum in front of everyone? How pathetic."

How pathetic.

Alex.

That nickname.

That sends the girl into a spiral, feeling her body sag as if heavy chains hang from her limbs. She covers her mouth, feeling nauseous as the memories hit her full force - feeling so real that to her she's experiencing the torment all over again.

"No...no stop..please stop!" She cries loudly.

Sally tries to Eboni, but she screams more, backing away into a corner and falls to her knees- placing up her hands to shield herself from harm. Eboni is clearly having a mental breakdown. Sally frowns, turning to look at Masky & Nina.

"....you two said really mean things."

"So what?! It's not my fault that pig has no backbone! Someone like her isn't worthy of my Jeff!"

"Still can't understand what Slenderman wants with her? She's so damn pathetic and weak. What use could she be to him?" Masky questions harshly.

Those words only make Eboni sob more, the world around her darkening. She can't see anyone, no longer hear anything. All she feels is the heavy chains choking her, making her body sink further into her dark empty abyss.

Footsteps. Slow yet calculated. She feels a presence lower themself in front of her, staring at her with what she can only assume is judgemental eyes. That was until she heard his voice.

"Princess." He said softly, hoping his tone would break her out of this spell of torment since touching her would only send her further into it. "It's me."

Eboni's trembling doesn't cease, but her sobs and screams die down. She blinks her eyes a few times, her tears blurring her vision - knowing who the voice belongs to. ".....Jeff?"

He smiles gently, nodding his head. "Yeah, Eboni. I'm here. I won't hurt you, and I won't let anyone ever try to again." He holds out his arms, hoping she'll calm down. "Now come here, princess."

Light. His odd light somehow melts away the darkness clouding her vision. She jumps into his arms, her cries soft and trembling form calming. Her protecter, her safe haven. It doesn't matter what happens. As long as Eboni has Jeff to lean on, she'll make it through - he'll make sure of it.

Jeff stands, walking past anyone, including Masky and Nina. Sally and Jeff share a look, though, unspoken words only those two can understand. Sally nods her head as Jeff leaves up the stairs and into his room. The child raises her hands, Masky and Nina suddenly feeling their airways get restricted.

"I had a mean man hurt me too. I used to cry and scream about it, too. Does that make me a pig? Does that make me pathetic? Answer me." Her voice shifts to darker undertones, surprising everyone at her sudden outburst since this is so unlike Sally.

"N-No." Both choke out, Masky falling to the ground from the couch and Nina falling to her knees - both desperate for oxygen.

Sally lowering her hands. "Then the same goes for Eboni. Leave her alone, both of you. Jeff may get in trouble for hurting you- but I won't." The little girl warns, the treat sending a chill through everyone since they know if there's someone that can get away with anything it would be sally since slenderman as a soft spot for her.

"Hmph! Good! Jack, let's go, I'm not hungry anymore." Sally said, dragging the clown away who's wearing a toothy grin.

"Such an interesting girl."

[tianarpowell]

“All right, a little bit of Kurobuta in the meatballs, and the rest for the second recipe to go with the chicken fried beets!” Tiana practically burst out. She beamed when Remy congratulated her on the promotion she’d earned! “Thank you, thank you for your kindness. I’ll remember about that raise! These are the things I need to tell myself to do…but, you know, Remy, if it hadn’t been for you and some other friends of mine really encouraging me the past couple weeks…I don’t know if I’d even be making this new food I’m getting to make at work now. Thank you sincerely for that. If I hadn’t met you, I’d be worse off. I’m being honest.” His easy kindness on the job and in conversation had inspired her to take that big step. And Tiana didn’t take kindness for granted, never ever.

“Now,” Tiana told Remy about that bread bowl, “on the MasterChef show, they did use a different type of flour for the bread bowl. It was the standard baking flour, I think. This is different, the one I asked you to bring. That was actually why I subbed in the unbleached flour for the standard bread flour—I’m thinking our flour will hold soup a lot better and have a more appealing texture if we want to eat the bowl at some point. On the show, they had to spend a lot of their time, the contestant did, on making the soup thicker so it would present well, like you’re talking about. But this avocado soup we’ll be creating for the dish, it’s naturally lighter. I don’t want to have to thicken something that just tries its hardest to stay light, you know? Anyway, that’s my reasoning.” Tiana listened as Remy started in on the pork meatballs and pushed the salt and pepper grinders his way. “I can taste those meatballs already,” she told him when he mentioned the meatballs absorbing their clove-and-wine-reduction sauce. “You go for it!”

“Remy,” Tiana said at his suggestion to use soy and ginger for their second recipe, “that’s brilliant! Absolutely genius! You’ve got a gift for flavors!” She meant that—she could tell, based on the things she’d tasted of his and the way he put together dishes, that his palate was very defined. “Please, do whatever you want to do for that part of the meal. I trust you one hundred percent!” She moved to the side so he could have more room for his workstation.

Tiana gladly accepted the jug of lemonade from Remy when he retrieved it from the fridge and poured them both full glasses. “All right,” she said, handing Remy his glass (a reddish cup that had been borrowed and never returned from her mama’s nice house). “Yes, yes, paprika and other seasonings are stored in a little rack I keep in this cupboard.” She opened it up for him over both their heads. “Go crazy with it! And whatever else you think is best…chef!” She grinned back at him. They were two peas in a pod.

Now it was Tiana’s turn to start cooking. She turned back to the ingredients for the spaghetti sauce (a filetto, potentially, with paprika added in for a kick). She felt very content as she moved through the steps, dicing and pouring with a practiced comfort. This felt better than work ever felt to her. Why would that be? Maybe it was because they were making recipes they’d thought about themselves…or maybe it was because Tiana knew that she could trust herself and Remy with something they felt passionate about making. The love for cooking, and for giving things a try, in that kitchen was palpable. Tiana felt happier than she could remember feeling in the recent past. She wanted to show that to Remy somehow…but how could she be kind in a noticeable way to the kindest person she knew?

“Remy,” she said at last as she got that spaghetti sauce over the stove. “I haven’t talked about this much, but I…am bad at cooking with other people.” It was unfortunately true. “I always tell them things they already seem to be doing, so it makes communication really pointless and bad. But with you, I’m not telling you anything, I’m helping you. There’s such a big difference! Helping versus guiding…” Now that Tiana was saying it out loud, she was realizing that to “guide” someone while cooking, which inevitably happened to her in kitchens, meant that she was probably on a different level from them. And maybe, probably shouldn’t be cooking with them in that way at all…

“What I’m trying to say,” Tiana continued, “is that I’m able to relax and just have faith in your understanding. I feel really calm, for the first time in a while.” This was also true. And it was very fortunate that it was, because Tiana knew that Remy was someone who deserved a lot of faith in the kitchen…and a lot of leeway. That was abundantly clear. “What else can we do to mix things up, while we’re at this stage of the game? You suggested the paprika, which—” and Tiana gestured with her head to the saucepan— “I already added in just now! Tell me, chef…” Tiana actually felt that he would make a great head chef, but she didn’t say that yet. “What flavor can I add to those beets coming up? We’ve got the familiar flavor of the chicken, the sweetness of those beets, like you were telling me… Anything we can use to round off the flavor profile? Like you explained, it’ll be unconventional for sure. But I like unconventional. It’s actually my favorite kind of flavor.” Tiana smiled over at Remy.

.

"Oh, I don't know if we should use this pork for meatballs..." Remy said, rubbing his chin. "I mean, I feel like it's way too good to grind and mix... But, you know, if we could use just a bit... You'd still get some left for some insanely good pork chops," he suggested. "I mean, I can't lie and say that now I'm not curious about what Kurobuta meatballs would taste like." They were trying stuff out, after all. Risks had to be taken.

"A promotion? That's awesome!" he smiled. "Congrats! And hey, that's not small! You should be rightly proud of it!" He managed to stop himself in time before almost slapping her back in support, like he usually did with Emile and his cousins. "And remember to ask for a raise after the first few weeks... You deserve it, if you're moving on up to a harder more demanding task."

There was no time to settle in. There was work to do. And Tiana's excitement was contagious... As if Remy needed more reason to be excited. "That sounds just beautiful," he nodded, rolling up his sleeves. "Funnily enough, I don't think I've ever done a bread bowl, even though I work in the bakery. Do you do something to the dough, so the crust ends up hard enough to hold the moistness of a whole soup?" he asked. "Apart from, you know, the usual water-in-the-oven trick?" It felt so good to discuss these things with someone who knew what he was talking about. This looked up to being the best time he would have in a long while. "Right, I'll get to the meatballs," he said, picking up a knife and a cutting board. "Cloves, onions, garlic, here's the pork... Where do you keep the salt and pepper?" he asked as he moved around the kitchen, picking what he needed. "We need to get the sauce going first, so we can cook the meatballs in it. That way they'll soak up in it nicely."

Remy turned to look at the lovely Kurobuta pork. "My God, what an honor," he said earnestly. "What about making the pork chops with ginger and soy?" he suggested. "I mean... It's gonna end up being kind of a weird menu, I know, but it'll be really good. Some saltiness to cut the sweetness of the beets." And then Remy let out a laugh. "Remember to breathe... If you don't breathe every so often, we can't cook." He nodded again. He really hadn't expected to be so game to following someone else's orders. Remy knew himself to be sort of tyrannical in the kitchen; so the sheer fact that he was comfortable doing what Tiana asked of him really spoke to her talent for leading.

"Great," he said, opening the fridge door and looking for the lemonade so they could both have something to drink while they worked. "Do you have any paprika? I usually put it in my filetto sauce, it really gives it some spiciness and an amazing color," Remy said. "Just a little bit in the wine reduction, I think it might work some magic. Does that sound good, chef?" he asked Tiana, shooting her a glance and a smile.

[minniepetals]

Oh no oh no oh no now you’ve gotten me hooked on that little genie drabble minnieeeeeeeeeeee 🥺 would it be possible to get a continuation

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 / part 16 / part 17

“Hey, can I have a taste of that?��

Hoseok looks up with narrowed eyes your way. “You’ve never asked for food before.”

“I’m curious,” you say.

“I didn’t know genies could eat human food.” You shrug lightly, eyes solely rested on the spaghetti he’s cooking up so, knowing he can never refuse something from you, Hoseok spins a fork into the pot before hovering it over you. You open your mouth and he feeds you the content. “How is it?”

“Whoa.” Your eyes light up once you finish chewing and swallowing. “I want more!” You quickly turn back to him and he chuckles with amusement at the way the tomato sauce has somehow made its way onto the coner of your lips. “Fourth owner, it’s delicious!”

He goes on to wipe away the sauce with his thumb as you fall excited all over again with your new discovery. “Alright, alright, calm down.”

“How can I calm down when I’ve just had my first human food?! Ahh, I’m gonna go tell the seventh owner about this!”

He laughs when you fly off on your own, always one to report your discoveries back to Jungkook no matter how busy the man is. It’s probably because the maknae never refuses your presence no matter where he is or what he’s doing. He could be in the middle of a meeting and excuse himself for a moment just to indulge in your antics and give you a pat on the head, praising you before returning to his work.

You’re spoiled by him.

.

.

“By the way, you’re rich aren’t you?” Dressed in a causal long white skirt with a pretty blouse, you walk on your two little feet beside Namjoon, pretending to be a human among the humans. Most days you’ll make yourself only appear visible before your owners but today you insisted accompanying Namjoon on his errands.

“Well,” he shrugs as he check his phone, seemingly busy, “I am the boss of a mafia so I can get anything I want at the snap of my fingers.”

“Huh.” You turn around, walking backwards, head tilted to the side as you look around at the humans who’re walking around. “So that’s why the seven of you have literally nothing to wish for. You already have human genies at the expense of your money.” You sigh, turning back to walk right again. “You know I’m starting to get a little bored not granting anyone’s wishes.”

“I thought you enjoyed not doing that.”

“You’re just different, alright?” You pout. “Even though you deal with some illegal things, you’re all better than all my previous owners. They were always greedy and wanted everything I had to list out the rules to them a billion times whenever they wanted to wish for something, and you know! One of them even asked me to have a woman submit to them! How ridiculous is that?!”

From the corner of his eyes, he sees your figure on the verge of floating up in mid-air so Namjoon brings his head to rest on your head, pushing you back on the ground.

“It’s like, they think if they can’t get their way, a wish from a genie will grant all their happiness but maybe if you try being a decent human, they’ll actually have women fawning over them rather than forcing their hearts. I hate humans like that.”

“Uh-huh.” 

You take his hand off your head when you turn to look up at him, thinking that perhaps Namjoon just wants you to stay near him so you resort to holding his hand instead. His followers walking a few feet behind (who has no idea what you’re spewing about), falls confused at the way you casually hold their boss’s hand but when Namjoon does nothing to shake you off, they know they can’t do anything about it.

“So you’re saying there are certain rules that keep you from granting a wish?” He asks and you nod.

“I can’t kill people — I once had a King ask for that but obviously it’s wrong for a supernatural being to get involved with human wars, you know? So never ask me to do something like that, I neither want to do such a job nor is it within my power — though honestly, if you’re a mafia boss, that would mean you’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself, right? So it’d be dumb to wish for me to do it because you’re also powerful enough and you have men at your disposal to do something like that. But then again, a literal King, who, mind you, was also quite powerful, had literally asked that of me when he himself could have just…” Realizing you’re falling off to a tangent, you clear your throat as you return to the subject of the matter.

“I also can’t bring back the dead — which can get quite heartbreaking but once someone’s gone, I can’t manipulate with their fate and it’d create a huge problem with the laws of the world. And I also can’t force human feelings like love, for example.”

“...Really?”

“It’d be quite cruel if I could,” you say. “Imagine forcing someone who’s meant to love someone else to love a certain person. I’d ruin their future whether they love their fated ones during their current time or not. Humans are meant to go through different stages in their lives without anyone forcing their hands. That’s why it’s better to wish for materialistic things, that way we don’t mess with the laws of the world and ruin anyone’s lives.”

“Hmm. That makes sense. So then,” you look up at him when he turns to you, “you mentioned the owners can also make a wish to become a genie or set the genie free by wishing for them to become human?”

“Yup!”

“Well then what do you wish for?”

“Huh?”

“Since me and the guys have no need for anything at the moment, do you have anything you want?”

“Me?” You blink, taken back by his question. No one’s ever asked you for such a thing so getting put on the spot like that makes your mind fall blank. “Um…”

“We’ll grant you whatever wish you want.”

“A role reverse huh? Sounds fun,” you grin. “Then…I want to eat human food everyday from now on. Just like my seven owners.”

Namjoon chuckles. “Alright. Consider it done,” he says. “Anything else?”

“I want that!” You point towards a small bakery store that displays a few desserts from their windows.

“Cake?”

“I heard they’re delicious, I wanna try one!”

You look as excited as a little kid he can’t help but want to get you everything your finger points at. “Alright then.”

“Mr. Kim?” 

But just as the two of you were about to walk towards that direction, you hear a voice calling out for Namjoon and you both turn around to find a lady approaching.

She’s pretty, wearing probably high expensive clothing with dress pants, a white blouse, and a blazer jacket hanging over her shoulders. Her sunglasses falls atop the bridge of her nose as she spots the way you’re holding Namjoon’s hand, eyes looking up at her with confusion and naivety, with no chance of letting Namjoon’s hand go.

“Who’s this?” She asks and you note at the way Namjoon hesitates.

Oh crap, you never told him your name. Do you even have a name? All your previous owners have called you genie so even if you did have a name, it’s been centuries since anyone has called you by a proper name so you don’t even remember to think of one.

You’re genie to your owners. Just genie.

But because your current owners are treating you so well and allowing you to roam freely in the human world, you should have known to make up a name for yourself.

But how does one do that?

“A friend of mine,” Namjoon states but her eyes doesn’t look away from the hand holding.

You fall suspicious as to why.

“A friend?” She raises a brow before turning her attention your way. “Any friend of Namjoon’s is a friend of mine. I’m Yoon Seji, you are?”

You stare at the hand that holds out to you, blinking in confusion. You think you’ve seen how this works before. Humans shake hands when they meet one another, don’t they? All you have to do is reach out and hold her hand. Sounds easy, right?

But if you shake her hand, doesn’t that mean you have to introduce yourself? She’s already given you her name so it’ll be your turn if you accept her handshake. But you don’t even have a name to begin with. But it’d be rude to not shake her hand. But you don’t have a name.

Oh god, you’re freaking out.

Namjoon comes to the rescue. “Forgive her, Miss Yoon, my friend here isn’t familiar with such customs. She came to visit from a different country so she does not mean to be rude.”

She blinks. “Handshakes aren’t universal?”

“Not in her country.”

“Where is she from?”

“That is a question she’d rather not disclose.” 

Though her brows fall with suspicion, Yoon Seji decides to not pry any further. “Surely I can get a name, no?”

Why is she so adamant about getting to know you? You feel like this human has something for your first owner but unfortunately for her, he already has your six other owners by his side so she’s too late for that.

You tug onto Namjoon’s arm to beckon him to lean down so he does, lending you his ear. “I don’t have a name,” you whisper to him.

Huh. So that’s why you never introduced yourself formally to them in the first place.

“I apologize, Miss Yoon, but we must get going.”

“W-wait–!”

She doesn’t get to say another word as Namjoon’s already walking off with you in hand.

[freshstartfromscratch]

Leonardo da Vinci and cooking.

Can we take a moment to appreciate Leonardo's Notes on Cusine? Because it's pure gold content!

Of approximately 120 journals of da Vinci, only 28 survived to our modern times. Let me tell you, all of them are wonderful.

Leonardo's step-dad was a pastry chef, so da Vinci was present in the kitchen from a very young age.

Let's start with his most significant kitchen inventions - the manual garlic press (which remains the same to this day) and (allegedly) a pasta maker. Like during the renaissance, Italians ate pasta (they still do), but it didn't look like modern pasta. It was heavier and lumpier, but Leonardo wanted to turn it into something else. Like edible ropes, aka Spago mangiabile.

This dude (allegedly) came up with spaghetti. The funny fact is that Italians, being their conservative selves, initially were not very fond of spaghetti. French king Francis was a fan of this idea. He even wanted to make it France's national dish, but Leonardo refused. 

Thank heavens for that! Can you imagine an alternative timeline where spaghetti is a signature dish of FRANCE?!

Leonardo also invented a napkin because he found it gross (and outdated) that the guests would wipe their hands with rabbit skins. 

On the same note, he would also trash-talk his patron, Lodovico Sforza, for wiping his knife in on the clothes of his table neighbor. 

Though, according to the Florentine ambassador to Milan, initially, people had no idea how to use a napkin. They would blow their noses into it, wrap food to hide in their pockets, and play by throwing them at other guests. We are talking about nobility now, not a middle school cafeteria.

Leonardo was really upset and disappointed when he saw this and never offered a napkin to the guests ever again.

And don't get me started on a salad bowl!

I'm 70% sure that it made Leonardo cry.

He made a bunch of kitchen appliances and machine models. Some of them were thought to be torture machine projects by modern scholars. It turned out to be just a meat grinder. 

Of all that is sweet in the world (and available to Leonardo), he liked marzipan the most. He liked it not exactly because it was tasty, but because he could use it to biuld things. And build he did.

Leonardo adored making tiny sculptures and models from marzipan. Including war machine models. He was also very displeased when other people (mostly his patron - Sforza) ate them. 

In his journal, Notes on Cuisine, Leonardo wrote: “I have observed with pain, that my signor Ludovico and his court gobble up all the sculptures I give them, right to the last morsel, and now I am determined to find other means that do not taste as good, so that my works may survive.” 

Food was one of Leonardo's fixations. He spent most of his time dedicated to painting The Last Supper, deciding which dishes Jesus and the Apostles would eat. He wanted to include his past experience and new cooking ideas in the fresco. You probably know that in The Last Supper, Jesus and his students are sitting on one side of a very long table. Leonardo originally used this idea when he was planning a wedding party of a Duke of Milan and sat all guests on only one side of the table. 

Leonardo da Vinci also owned a copy of De honesta voluptate et valetudine, the first printed cookbook in his private collection. This book consisted of recipes by the biggest celebrity chef in Italia. Martino da Como or Maestro Martino was a Gordon Ramsay of his times and the Vatican's cook.

Speaking of Gordon Ramsay! Leonardo did the Kitchen Nightmares metamorphosis 500 years before the Fox network. Young Leonarda was working in a tavern Three Snails. Initially, he was a waiter, but after the majority of the kitchen staff died in a food poisoning accident, he got promoted to chef. Now da Vinci absolutely HATED the unorganized porridge blop with meat that the tavern was serving. It was well-spiced but lacked decorum and nice serving. Leonardo created a new menu. From now on, the guests got smaller portions of different, well-prepared, and nice-looking foods. Unfortunately, the renaissance people weren't ready for the modern concept of a restaurant, and the Three Snails ended up just like any other restaurant after Kitchen Nightmares' metamorphosis - it got closed.

We cannot talk about Leonardo da Vinci and food without mentioning vegetarianism. Leonardo didn't write much about his personal life and taste, probably because he didn't find himself that interesting (ironic, isn't it?)

We do have some grocery shopping lists by Leonardo da Vinci, and even though they include meat, he did grocery shopping for his patrons too. Where did the vegetarian Leonardo come from? Well, he worked in the same court as Andrea Corsali. Corsali was an explorer in the court of Giuliano di Lorenzo de' Medici of Florence. In one of his letters he described the eating habits of Hindu followers in India like this:

"Alcuni gentili chiamati Guzzarati non si cibano dicosa alcuna che tenga sangue, ne fra essi loro consentono che si noccia adalcuna cosa animata, come it nostro Leonardo da Vinci."

In English:

"Certain infidels/foreigners called Gujaratis (Guzzarati) are so gentle that they do not feed on anything which has blood, nor will they allow anyone to hurt any living thing, like our Leonardo da Vinci."

Boy! That was a long infodump! I hope you enjoyed this little rant about Leonardo. It's not exactly AC, but as I have mentioned a few times - I'm a Leonardo da Vinci geek.

[channel-swimmer]

I know no one was wondering what the difference was, but the only difference is the lyrics used (barely a difference). I struck through lines that were removed. It's quite long, so the lyrics are under the cut

Midnight Saturday sat in the dark

Watching the ceiling falling apart

The air conditioner's been busted for weeks

So the smell of cooking seeps through the floor

I can't eat no more

They want me to be as light as a feather

So the doctor's wired my jaws together

Now I'm locked in the bedroom away from the food

So I lie on my back in the dark in the nude

I can't eat no more

I got to use a straw

But if the devil dragged me down to the kitchen

I wouldn't put up a fight

I'd gladly sign away my soul

For a T-bone steak tonight

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac

I got to eat, I got to eat a flapjack

A stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack

Just call me Jack Kerouac

Click-clack open up the hatchback

I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack

Pattacake, pattacake Big Mac

Good God it's a snack attack

Gimme sausage, egg and beans and chips

And milkshakes, clambakes, fondue and dips

And sauces, horses, seventeen courses

Of barbecued beef with asparagus tips

Rashers of bacon, and bagels and lox

And tandoori prawns and a box of chocs

Spaghetti with mussels, Parma hams

And deep frozen waffles with syrup and jams

My willpower's gone I'm down on my knees

Praying to the God of cottage cheese

It's no good trying I'll never beat it

'Cause if it moves I'll eat it

So undo my trousers, let out the slack

Who cares it's a snack attack

It's a snack attack

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac

I got to eat, I got to eat a flapjack

A stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack

Just call me Jack Kerouac

Click-clack open up the hatchback

I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack

Pattacake, pattacake Big Mac

Good God it's a snack attack

It's a snack attack

It's a snack attack

It's a snack attack

My father was a gents outfitter

My mother went crazy, they had to commit her

They used to tell me don't be a quitter

But I know deep down I'm the runt of the litter

I can't eat no more

I gotta use a straw

How do you take an overdose

Or even pretend to do it

When the last straw is the one in your mouth

And you can't suck sleepers through it?

I can't eat no more

I gotta use a straw

Bu-bu-bu-but if the devil took me to Mexico

To taste his guacamole

I'd gladly sign my name in blood

And give him the keys to my soul

Because I can't eat no more

I can't eat no more

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac

I got to eat, I got to eat a flapjack

A stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack

Just call me Jack Kerouac

Click-clack open up the hatchback

I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack

Pattacake, pattacake Big Mac

Good God it's a snack attack

It's a snack attack

It's a snack attack

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac

I got to eat, I got to eat a flapjack

A stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack

Just call me Jack Kerouac

Click-clack open up the hatchback

I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack

Pattacake, pattacake Big Mac

Good God it's a snack attack

It's a snack attack

Midnight Sunday asleep on the floor

Curled up in the corner can't take no more

Armies of food invade my sleep

Led by lasagnas ten inches deep

My head is pounding my heart is beating

Cows are mooing sheep are bleating

I'm being haunted by all the meat I've eaten

And then a burglar alarm goes off in my head

And I wake up screaming am I dead or alive?

And the clock says five

It's only five in the morning

I'm covered in sweat

Am I hungry? You bet!

Cold turkey's what I'm going through

Cold turkey's what I need

But they hung a sign on my appetite

Saying "Danger Do Not Feed"

I can't eat no more

I got to use a straw

I can't eat no more

I can't eat no more

And they've even taken away

The pictures of food I had on my wall

And my treasured collection of menus

They screwed up into a ball

In front of my face they flicked it

Out of the window into the night

But they'll never unscramble the combination

They'll never get it right

Now if they made a feature film

That featured only food

I'd wallow in the crowd scenes

While the rest of the audience booed

And if I got myself a video

I could satisfy the need

I could check out the action frame by frame

And watch the calories breed

But I can't eat no more

I got to use a straw

I can't eat no more

I can't eat no more

I can't eat no more

I got to use a straw

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac

I got to eat, I got to eat a flapjack

A stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack

Just call me Jack Kerouac

Click-clack open up the hatchback

I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack

Pattacake, pattacake Big Mac

Good God it's a snack attack

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac

I got to eat, I got to eat a flapjack

A stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack

Just call me Jack Kerouac

Click-clack open up the hatchback

I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack

Pattacake, pattacake Big Mac

Good God it's a snack attack

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac

I got to eat, I got to eat a flapjack

A stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack

Just call me Jack Kerouac

Click-clack open up the hatchback

I could eat a Bubble car or a packamack

Pattacake, pattacake Big Mac

Good God it's a snack attack

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac

I got to eat, I got to eat a flapjack

A stack, a rack, a six-pack Jack

Just call me Jack Kerouac

I've never heard the short version of Snack Attack... I must know how it sounds at once !!

[mianavs]

the assault

In Lima with You part 4

a/n: this marks the beginning of the end for this story. like previous parts in this story and it’s predecessor, there’s some messed up stuff going on in this part.

tw: non-con, dark content, nsfw, violence

wc: 1.7k+

In Lima with You

You had been scrubbing for a good thirty minutes, yet the bright red from the tomato sauce you’d spilled on your living room carpet was still there.

Glaring at you

Mocking you

Wiping off the beads of sweat that trickled down your brow with the back of your hand, you ran the scrubby through the bucket of soapy water that was now a milky salmon color. After wringing the scrubby of the excess liquid, you went back to scrubbing that spot while ignoring the growing ache in your fingers and the knot in your neck.

It’d been a careless mistake, spilling your spaghetti while your mind had been elsewhere—a common occurrence since the night your fragile world fell apart when Dabi walked out on you.

Almost as careless as the mistake of letting your captor into your heart where he left a mark that spread until it encompassed the entire thing.

A mistake you were now paying the price for, on your hands and knees trying to scrub the mark stain away only to realize it had spread in spite of your efforts.

You fell back on your haunches and threw the scrubby into the bucket. It had been five days since you’d last seen Dabi, and you were starting to lose it.

Every time you heard footsteps outside of your front door, you would rush over and swing it open only to face nothing or a bewildered stranger. The room that had once suffocated you with warmth was now frigid and made it difficult for you to fall asleep in. Your mornings started with you waking from a nightmare that almost always involved Dabi’s death. While at the beginning of his absence you could still go about your day cooking, cleaning, or engaging in a hobby, you eventually spiraled into a depression that made it hard for you to even get out of bed.

Not only was Dabi the death-sentenced protagonist of your nightmares but he was also on your mind all day. His face during your last argument was one that had been burned into your memory. You could still see the blank look that flashed in his cerulean eyes, the twitch of his mutilated mouth, and then the shock that seeped from every pore in his body as he staggered away from your enraged form.

You’d been the one wronged that day, yet Dabi was the one that fled, leaving you with an all-consuming guilt. It didn’t make sense but then again neither did the overwhelming pain festering away in your heart the more time passed without seeing him, touching him, loving him.

Love. It was a ridiculous notion when you thought about it.

Dabi had been the monster that kidnapped you. He’d broken you down physically and mentally to mold you into the obedient darling you now were, but even with the plethora of scars all over your body, you couldn’t help but feel empty without him. Even with the door unlocked and nothing chaining you down to your shared condo, you would leave only to roam around the city for a couple of minutes before a panic seized your entire body; It was that suffocating panic that forced you back home to the comfort of your bed that still smelled of Dabi’s musk and smoke.

You loved Dabi.

You needed Dabi.

So as you dumped the soapy water down the kitchen sink and washed out the bucket, you mulled over your options in tracking Dabi down to tell him how you felt. Then just as you were putting the bucket away, the muffled sound of footsteps captured your attention and you dashed to the front door on impulse.

Where a scarred face with a wicked grin should have greeted you, there was only a red winged man with astonished eyes.

“Y/N,” Keigo breathed. “You’re really here.”

You looked behind him, searching for the man you actually wanted to see. When it was clear he wasn’t there, you turned to your former friend.

“Where else would I be?” You asked before stepping aside to let him in.

“I assumed you’d be with the League,” He answered amusedly, walking in while you shut the door behind him. “But I guess this was a no ex-heroes type of mission.”

“Where’s Dabi?” The question burst from your lips before you could think it through.

Keigo’s smile faltered at your desperate inquiry, and his throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Last I heard they were two cities away wreaking havoc in true League fashion.”

You raised an eyebrow at his mocking tone. “Sounds like you don’t approve of the mission.”

Keigo laughed at that and it left a bitter taste in your mouth. “How about we drop the act, Y/N. It’s just you and me. Dabi isn’t here to punish you.”

His eyes traveled to a fading scar on your forearm before returning to your face. “We both know that what they’re doing is wrong.”

A bitter laugh tore from your throat as you approached him. “So the HPSC selling me for some intel is right? Them drugging me and sending me off to an orphanage is right? How about them trying to sabotage my career? Does all of that seem right to you, Keigo?!”

You were now in front of him, and he had the decency to appear sheepish after your rant. He averted his gaze and said nothing while you let out an exasperated sigh and ran your fingers through your hair.

“Don’t give me that right or wrong crap.” You retorted when your anger simmered. “Hero society deemed me a villain before giving me a chance to prove myself. I won’t stand in the League’s way if they want to bring it down.”

Keigo’s hand shot out and wrapped around your elbow, fingers pressing into one of your scars. You tried shaking him off but Keigo didn’t relent.

“What about the thousands of innocent civilian lives that will be ruined because of them? Will you also stand aside when they’re screaming for their lives?”

His golden eyes bore into yours and memories of a certain mission hit you like a ton of bricks. You remembered the room full of children that you’d saved with Keigo, and for the first time in weeks, you hesitated in defending Dabi and the League’s actions.

“We’re targeting the heroes and the HPSC, not civilians.” You reasoned, wrenching your arm from his grasp.

“We’re?” Keigo sneered, backing you against a wall. “Are you serious?”

At his aggressiveness, the alarms in your head went off but indignation muffled them. You jutted out your chin defiantly. “Yeah, I am. As long as Dabi remains in the League, I will too because... I-I love him and tha—”

Keigo smashed his lips against yours and took hold of your hands before pinning them above your head. Unlike the first kiss he stole from you, this one was harsh and meant to punish. He claimed your mouth with his invading tongue while you wrestled against his bruising grip. It wasn’t until you realized he wouldn’t let up that you bit down on his tongue until he hissed in pain and released you with a curse.

With the metallic taste of Keigo’s blood in your mouth, you tried recovering your breath only to hear a harsh thump that was immediately followed by pulsating pain on the side of your head. You doubled over from the sheer force of Keigo’s blow that left you debilitated and vulnerable.

And that was exactly what Keigo wanted.

In your stupor, you were picked up like a ragdoll and thrown onto your bed, landing face down on a pillow. The sudden motion only worsened what you assumed was a concussion. As a sharp ringing assaulted your ears, all you could do was grip the sheets beneath you in a weak attempt to stop the room from turning.

So when rough hands pulled off your shorts and ripped off your flimsy lace panties, you were too busy burrowing your spinning head in a pillow and swallowing bile to put up a fight. The severity of the situation finally registered with you when you felt the bed dip and rough hands lift your waist until you were on your knees.

By the time your body reacted, it was too late. Keigo pressed you into the mattress with your hands pinned behind your back as he settled between your legs and spread them open with his body.

His cockhead prodded at your entrance a couple of times before he forced it into your dry cunt in one harsh thrust. Horrified and unprepared, you screamed into the pillow that still smelled of Dabi while Keigo violently took you from behind like an animal.

Pain was all you knew throughout Keigo’s assault. It pulsated in your head until it felt like your skull was being split in half. It coursed through your arms that were pushed together and pressed into your back. It ripped through your cunt as Keigo’s cock rammed into you without mercy.

Concussed, restrained, and without your quirk and voice, all you could do was lie there and wait for your body to produce the slick you oh-so desperately needed to ease the ache in your cunt.

Without changing the pace of his hips, Keigo leaned over you and grunted into your ear.

“Don’t you get it, Y/N? I’m doing this because I love you and right now you’re sick. That so-called love you feel for that bastard is a disease. You have Stockholm Syndrome and I’m gonna cure you with each load I shoot up your womb.”

He let out a chuckle and licked the shell of your earlobe, causing bile to surge up your throat. Unable to swallow it down any longer, you used all the strength you could muster to jerk your head over the bed’s edge.

As you regurgitated that day’s lunch, Keigo’s thrusts ceased and he released you with a disgusted grunt.

“Rude bitch,” he growled, pulling you by your hair and pressing his torso against your body. “I tell you I love you and that’s how you react?”

Keigo shoved your face into the mattress and you writhed beneath his weight and grip as your lungs were depleted of oxygen. When your limbs went limp against the bed and black specks stained your vision, the last thing you heard was Keigo’s honeyed words delivering your sentence for falling for your captor.

“Guess I’ll have to take you away from him for you to be cured.”

[sashi-ya]

sashii my love! this event is so cute omg may i have day 12 + chocolate with Ace, please? Fem! or GN! reader is fine 🥺 thank you so much, bby i love youu ❤️

Hi my lovely Lari!!! So here I am with this little scenario of the freckled sunshine for you! 💖 I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful holiday season!! (despite the blazing hot summer that we have to endure 😂). Love you lots! 💖

Chocolate Portgas D. Ace x F! Reader Day 12: I'm Sorry I burnt the dinner ~

tw: none. some red eyes perhaps. based on Ace's favorite food being ghost pepper spaghetti. Peperoncini is the Italian term for ghost peppers, aglio e olio is the Italian term for garlic and oil. The image I chose for the banner was specifically chosen cause I wanted to portrait Ace's face while he looks at reader (I know he was looking at Sanji, but we are not here to discuss Ace's likings, at least not rn hahah)

wc: 828

“She is so pretty… she is working hard to cook an amazing meal, what did I do to deserve such an amazing lover?” Ace thinks, while resting her chin over his hand. He looks at her with eyes of pure love, of pure adoration. He, Ace, never thought of someone loving him, less taking care of him, or even spending Christmas with him.

But there she is, making him his favorite food for dinner…

You read a little diary Garp-san said it was Ace’s mom’s. She had written the recipe for “ghost pepper spaghetti” there and even if Ace never tasted hers, for some reason that exact same dish turned out to be his favorite. And you sweat, what if you do it wrong? it’s gonna be the first time he tastes your cooking, cause after all you’ve never been good with it. Not even Sanji-kun’s tips were able to help you. Ace never cared, but you did.

Several pots were already on the stove, boiling water for the noodles, a frying pan ready for you to sauté the aglio e olio and the peperoncini resting right over the cooking table to be cut in halves. All according to Rouge annotations. And it didn’t seem so difficult, yet you realize there is a missing ingredient over the table; parsley.

“What an idiot” you mumble, taking your hand to your forehead. “What’s wrong babe? Do you need help?” Ace immediately asks from the table. You asked him not to come closer since this was going to be a surprise for him. “Oh no, nothing darling! It’s ok! Go sit in the dining room, food is about to be ready!” you act as everything was alright, and indeed it was, but you pressure yourself a lot when doing this…. after all, what if Rouge is looking at you from the sky, facepalming at your incompetence?...

You quickly run to the pantry for the damn parsley, because everybody has it in their houses, right? “It’s like a common spices, come on” you whisper, while looking for the damn little jar that has that name on a tag. “What does it even look like?” you mumble, at this point hysterical.

And all of a sudden a certain smell comes wafting to your nose…

“FUCK! THE HEAT!!” you shout, running to the remains of a ghost pepper sauce that more than red now looks carbon black. You throw the pan to the kitchen sink to cool off the stupid pot and take your hands to your face. Instant tears sprout from your eyes. “I’m an idiot” once again, you mumble.

Ace comes to the rescue, “What’s wrong baby?” he asks, hugging you tight from behind. “I’m a failure” you say, in between sobbing. “What? You aren’t! You are my perfect love, don’t ever say that!” he tells you, kissing your head and slowly turning you around.

You rest over his chest, without taking your hands off your face, but enjoying his warm embrace. “I can’t even cook this; I tell you I am” you mumble. “Listen, I don’t even know what parsley looks like, don’t worry” he says, poor man, he was trying to help you out, but made it worse. “WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE DAMN PARSLEY?” you grunt and rub your eyes to wipe your tears away.

But… Do you remember rule number one when cooking with peppers that Sanji told you? “Name-swan, remember to use gloves or be extra careful if you cut ghost peppers barehand, do not take your hands to your eyes or they will burn”

You begin to squirm, to jump and soon run to the sink. “AHHHH MY EYES!!!” “WHAT BABY, WHAT???” “MY EYES, BURN!!! THE FUCKING PEPPERS!!!”...

Some hours later…

“Make some space, baby!” Ace tells you while bringing the Big Macs you ordered with a big smile, as bright as the sun and those freckles like a starry sky. He places the tray over the table, and hands you your order. Outside it’s snowing heavily, and the lights from the streets blink in between the snowflakes. The fast-food restaurant isn’t packed at all on Christmas eve, but there are some more people enjoying some burgers. Your eyes, a little red still, with no makeup, reflect over the windows of the place. Ace sits next to you, and jokes about putting some hot sauce on his burger.

“I’m sorry I burnt the dinner” you tell him, still sad. “It was your mom’s recipe”. “Don’t be sorry, my love. What about us trying to cook it again tomorrow? Together?” he tells you, with one of his cheeks puffed by the food. “But I fucked up, look… we are eating on a Mc Donald’s on Christmas eve”. “It doesn’t matter where, it doesn’t matter what I eat… the only thing that matters is to be right next to you” Ace says, kissing your forehead.

“Merry Christmas, baby. I love you” “Merry Christmas, Ace. I love you too”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ~ ❤ ~

[ibis-gt]

I honestly would love to read about the first time Cam finds out Luther is shrinking because he has feelings for him. In that hanahaki disease au.

ask and ye shall receive.... cam figures it out. just shy of 2000 words.

~~~

“Aaaand… there,” Cam said, and gave the screwdriver one final twist. He pulled on the little contraption in front of him a few times to test its stability and sat back on his haunches, finally satisfied. “You’re all set.”

It is one of four little rope and pulley elevator systems that he’d set up around Luther’s apartment. It consisted of a small wooden plank that Luther could stand on and use the rope system to raise or lower himself. Each one was operable at height ranges between about a foot and a half to four inches. They let him get up onto his sofa, his bed, the kitchen counter, and the bathroom sink.

“You really didn’t have to do all that,” Luther protested from his position just behind Cam. “I mean, I don’t get that small that often, I probably won’t use them that much.”

Cam laughed and pushed a stray wisp of hair out of his face, looking up at Luther. “What are you talking about? You’re always shrinking around me. It’s okay, I’m happy to help. That’s what friends are for.” He watched the usual blush spread across Luther’s face, the telltale shiver run down his spine, and smiled as Luther shrank another inch. He’d lost some height here and there during the installation process as they chatted, and had gone down to about five foot even, if Cam had to guess. “Anyway, you let me know if you have any trouble with these, and I’ll be over to fix ‘em as soon as I can. And there’s the bells if you’re in any real trouble - those strings there, see? They’re hooked up to a bell in my apartment, ring that and I’ll come right over.”

“My cat’ll have a field day with them,” Luther murmured, brow furrowing. “Maybe we should do something other than string.”

Cam chewed on the end of his screwdriver in contemplation. “Hm. Good point. I’ll figure something out later.” He slipped the screwdriver in his toolbelt and slapped his hands on thighs as he stood up. “Well! I’d better get back to my place and start dinner. You’re coming over, right?”

“Oh! As long as it’s not an imposition? I mean, I don’t want to be any trouble…”

“Nah, s’alright, you’re always welcome. Spaghetti and meatballs tonight. See you in an hour?”

Luther’s blush deepened and he lost another two inches. “S-see you then,” he managed.

Cam chuckled fondly to himself as he left. He tried not to think of Luther’s condition as cute or funny, because when the shrinking was really bad it put the poor guy in danger. But he couldn’t help but find it amusing when Luther lost just a little height, ending up just a slightly shorter version of himself. And when he went on one of his long rambles and shrank a little bit at a time all throughout, it put Cam in mind of a deflating balloon, which was just too silly not to laugh at. And when he ended up really tiny, and he was just like a little doll, and fit so perfectly in the palm of Cam’s hand…

Cam shook his head to clear his thoughts. No, that was too far. He shouldn’t think like that, no doubt it was terrifying for Luther to be so small and vulnerable. He sighed as he shouldered his door open, hands full of leftover wood and string. He set them on the little table where he kept his keys by the door, then unbuckled his toolbelt and hung it on the coat rack, lost in thought.

He’d been puzzling over what caused Luther to shrink for a while now. Was it just at random? Was it like an allergic reaction, and some kind of food or environmental thing kicked it off? He had a brief vision of Luther sneezing and instantly shrinking down to bug size. No, knock it off, he chastised himself, not funny. A little funny. But don’t laugh at it.

Anyway, he hadn’t seen Luther ever sneeze when he shrank, so that probably wasn’t it. What were the symptoms? He’d make a list, that would help him narrow it down.

Cam slipped an apron over his head - one of the novelty ones his sister kept getting him, he didn’t bother to read the witty joke about buns printed on the front - and started on the dough for his spaghetti. Whenever possible, he liked to make things from scratch. Besides, having something to do with his hands let his mind work better. He worked the problem around in his mind just like he worked the dough in front of him, kneading it, pushing it around, looking at it from different angles.

So. What were the warning signs? Luther tended to get awkward and shy just before he shrank. He’d blush, stammer or trip over his words, either avoid eye contact or stare like he couldn’t look away, and of course the final sign was that signature shiver right before a loss of height. A lot of those symptoms could be attributed to anxiety as well - was that what triggered the shrinking, just whenever he was anxious? But that couldn’t be it, Luther had been anxious plenty of times without shrinking. Not to mention he worked a high-stress job, waiting tables at a local diner, and wouldn’t be able to make it through the day if anxiety made him shrink. So that wasn’t it.

Cam rolled the dough out flat and cut it into strips. He hung the fresh noodles up to dry and put water on to boil, then opened the fridge and pulled out the meatballs he’d shaped that morning.

His brain kept chugging along on the issue as he worked, hands going on automatic. He came back to the present long enough to taste the sauce he’d made, hem and haw, and add a little more garlic, then went right back to it. There was something tugging at the back of his mind, trying to get his attention, but he couldn’t quite grasp it.

A sound startled him out of his thoughts - the ringing of a bell.

“Shoot,” Cam hissed, dropping the sauce spoon. It clattered onto the stove and left little pools of sauce cooling on the glass surface. He’d deal with that later though, Luther needed him now. He switched the burners to low and headed for the door.

Luther’s door was locked, so he had to duck back inside his apartment to grab the spare key. He opened the door slowly and called out.

“Luther? Was that just the cat, or do you need me?” Cam scanned the room, looking for that distinctive neon green jumpsuit. It clashed horribly with everything, but it was useful for spotting him when he ended up tiny. Sure enough, there he was by the strings for the bell, waving an arm to get Cam’s attention. He was easy to spot, as far as things went, standing about a foot tall. Cam hurried over.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Do you need help?” Cam took a knee in front of Luther and leaned in close, inspecting him for injuries. Luther took a step back, startled by the sudden rush of worry, and Cam made himself pull back as well. It had to be scary to have someone looming over you like that, he told himself, give him a little space.

“I-I’m fine,” Luther said. “I just… well, this happened, and now I can’t really open my door, so I was hoping you could give me a lift over for dinner? Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve used the bell. I could’ve texted you.”

The tension flooded out of Cam and he laughed in relief. “No, that’s fine, I just jumped to conclusions. I can give you a lift, sure.” He cupped his hands and held them out to Luther, who climbed on and settled in, sitting down with his legs crossed. Cam rose slowly, being careful not to jostle Luther, and began to amble back towards the door. A thought occurred to him.

“What did it?” Cam asked.

Luther looked up, startled. “What did what?”

‘“What made you shrink this time? I’ve been trying to work it out on my own and I’m just not getting it. There’s gotta be a common thread, right, you’re not just shrinking at random?”

Luther stared at him in open-mouthed shock, face growing steadily redder.

“I mean,” Cam continued, “if you were just shrinking at random, it’d be hard to hold down a job, y’know? Do you ever shrink at work? And anyway, didn’t you say - ” His eyes widened as that thing that had been nagging at him finally became clear. “You said you don’t shrink all the time! But you shrink pretty often whenever I’m around. Am I doing it, somehow?”

“No, no, no,” Luther said hurriedly, but Cam could feel him getting smaller.

“Oh, liar!” Cam chortled. “Nice try, Pinnochio, but I’m literally holding you right now. Is it actually me?”

“It’s - it’s not - not always?” Luther was practically cowering away from him now, and Cam realized he’d been a little harsh.

“Oh shoot, I’m sorry. Look, we don’t have to talk about it, okay? It’s your business, I shouldn’t’ve pried.”

“No, I… I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while, it’s just… hard to say out loud, um…” Luther fidgeted with the collar of his jumpsuit, avoiding Cam’s eyes. He was red as a tomato, mouth drawn up in an adorable little pout, and so small and cute that Cam’s heart ached. Then it clicked.

“Oh. Is it me, like… because you like me?” Cam asked. “Like, you have a crush on me, is that it?”

Luther let out a sound like a tea kettle whistling, shrinking down at an alarming rate to only five inches tall. Cam couldn’t help himself. He laughed so hard he snorted. When he finally got a hold on himself again, the wounded look on Luther’s face sobered him instantly.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, but you don’t know how long I’ve been trying to work this out, and the answer’s been right in front of my face the whole time! I swear I’m laughing at myself, not at you. Anyway, you wanna go out sometime?”

Luther gaped up at him for a long moment. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but nothing came out. Finally he shut his mouth and nodded furiously. Cam grinned.

“Or this could be like our first date, right? I’ll get some candles and dim the lights. We could even 'Lady and the Tramp' it with the spaghetti! Or - okay, okay, sorry, I’ll stop.” Luther had started to shrink again, and Cam didn’t want his cooking to go to waste just because his guest was too small to eat it. “Hey, I joke a lot, but I want you to know I’m being serious here,” he said gently. “I’d like to go out with you, if you’re alright with it. Is it going to cause problems, though? Like are you going to shrink every time we’re together?”

Luther shifted and looked away, finally finding his voice. “I - I don’t know. The doctor said if I told you about how I felt, it would get easier. But he didn’t say it would go away entirely… if that’s not something you want to put up with, we don’t have to - ”

“No, no, that’s fine, I don’t mind it. Just if it was a problem for you, is all. I like you a lot, Luther. I’d love to be your partner, if you’ll have me.”

Luther looked back up at Cam with a huge, genuine, relieved smile on his teeny tiny face. Cam’s heart melted.

“I’d like that.”

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Laito Heaven [01]

ー The scene starts in the classroom

*Ding-dong・ding-dong*

Yui: ( Phew, it’s finally lunch break... )

Well then, time to get out my lunch box...

*Rustle*

Laito: Bitch-chan~~!

Yui: ...! L-Laito-kun!?

( I-I know he does this all the time but...He appeared out of nowhere so it startled me...! )

Laito: Oh dear~? Did you perhaps make that packed lunch yourself? 

Yui: Ah, yeah. That’s right. I had some spare time this morning so I made one. 

Laito: Heeh. Looks delicious. Hey, hey, let me have one bite too~

Yui: Eh? You’re going to eat as well?

( But...Usually he doesn’t bother with lunch. )

Laito: Eeh~? What’s with that reaction? 

I may be a Vampire...

But I do have those days where I want to have a taste of your homemade lunch as if I were a human.

...There you have it! Ah, this seat! It’s free, right?

ー Laito sits down

Yui: L-Laito-kun.

( He plopped down on the chair across from mine... )

Laito: Let’s see. What should I go for...? Wait one second, okay? I’ll make up my mind soon.

...Hm.

Yui: ( Geez, Laito-kun...He’s being awfully serious about this. )

Laito: Ah, hey! I want to try one of those fried shrimp!

Yui: Sure, go ahead.

Laito: Ah! Wait!

Yui: Y-Yes...?

Laito: But you know~ The rolled omelette is a staple of any packed lunch, isn’t it? 

Yui: ...Um, so you want the rolled omelette...right?

Laito: Aah! Wait, hold on!

Yui: ( W-What’s the problem now...!? )

Laito: The fried chicken’s hard to pass up on as well~ Aah! What to do!? I can’t make up my mind~

Yui: Um, Laito-kun...? Then...Want to try a bite of everything?

Laito: Eeh~? Are you sure? But then there will be barely anything left for you.

Yui: Ah, don’t worry about that. I was thinking I had packed a little too much food anyway.

Laito: Hm...I see! In that case, I’ll gladly take you up on your offer! Thanks for the meal~!

Yui: ( Fufu. Laito-kun seems pleased. I’m glad I made a lunch box today. )

*TIMESKIP*

Laito: Haah~ The fried shrimp, rolled omelette and fried chicken...Each and every one of them was delicious!

Yui: Fufu. I’m glad you enjoyed them.

Laito: Hmー... I have to return the favor now, don’t I...?

Yui: Eh? It’s fine. You don’t need to thank me, really...

Laito: No, no, don’t say that! Ah, right...!

To thank you, I’ll feed you what’s left of your lunch! That works, right?

Yui: Eeh!?

( T-That’s...Rather than being a way to thank me...! )

Laito: Well then, let’s start with...This octopus-shaped sausage, I suppose~

*Cling*

Laito: Here you go, Yui-chan. Open wide? Aaahn~!

Yui: L-Laito-kun! It’s fine, you don’t have to do this...

( For one, we’re inside the classroom...And everyone’s watching us...! )

Laito: Nfu~ Are you perhaps...feeling embarrassed because we’re in public?

Yui: O-Of course I am...!

Laito: Gosh, you never change do you, Yui-chan? That’s what makes it so good!

Let’s show them just how much we love each other, okay? Come on, hurry up and open your mouth~ 

Yui: Uu...

Laito: Hurry~ Come on!

Yui: Aahー ...Nn...Nom.

( Nn...Nn...Aah, I feel as if the whole classroom is watching us...! )

Laito: Nfu~ Well done. Next up~ This Spaghetti Napolitan over here looks quite good.

*Cling*

Laito: Come on, open your mouth again? Aaahnー

Yui: A-Ahnー...Nn...!?

( L-Laito-kun...! He put way too much in my mouth at once! Like this... )

Laito: Ah, my bad! I got a little too greedy and now it’s spilling from the corners of your mouth!

Yui: Nguh...Nn...!

( Haah...I somehow swallowed it. )

Laito: Seems like you managed to get it down. Are you okay?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

Laito: Ah...Fufu~ Yui-chan, you silly girl~ You’ve got ketchup all over your lips.

Yui: Eh!?

Laito: Ah, but don’t worry...

I’ll get it for you. Like this...Nn...

*Sluuurp*

Yui: !

Laito: Nnー! Delicious! You really are such a great cook, aren’t you?

Yui: ( ...Laito-kun, I swear! )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[ Heaven 02 ] ->

[k3rm1e]

hi i just had an idea about what if Ranboo had an irl friend who also streamed and did the cooking stream with him and like idk doing irl streams with him aksjdaks have a lovely day hehe ye

papyrus kinnie

hi i just had an idea about what if Ranboo had an irl friend who also streamed and did the cooking stream with him and like idk doing irl streams with him aksjdaks have a lovely day hehe ye

hi! and i love your brain smaoabd  (i live for cooking streams, truthfully) have a lovely day yourself!

the title is only bc of spaghetti definitely not bc i have refueled my undertale obsession hahhahahahahah

papyrus kinnie:

  “so, https://www.twitch.tv/ranboolive viewers, today we will be doing an activity!” you had started streaming around the same time as ranboo and almost always appeared in his streams. since the stans knew you two were irls and lived near each other, they were constantly begging for an irl stream of any sort. finally, after so long of their begging, you had decided to deliver.

  “ranboo, my friend, drumroll please.” he began hitting the desk, making it sound like a drum. today chat, today we will be doing a cooking stream!” you and ranboo lifted your hands up to the ceiling in unison. grabbing the camera, you rushed to the kitchen where you had already set up some things for the stream.

  “ok chat, we are in, uh, the kitchen at the moment. and we need to grab the ingredients. i promise this was planned.” it was not planned. well, not planned for today at least. you hadn’t anticipated doing the stream this early into the month and were aiming to hold it a week or two, when most people were done with schools and exams. but when you have no ideas for a fun and interesting stream, this is what you land on.

  “yep. planned. i shall grab the ingredients now.” ranboo left the kitchen and walked out of frame, leaving you to quickly entertain the chat and set up music. walking back into frame with a reusable shopping bag, ranboo began explaining the plan for today. 

  “so chat, we all know and love the one and only clip in which i question the legal morality of putting a bag of spaghetti in cereal and whether or not it counts as federal crime. so, instead, today we will be making something, something dedicated to that clip.” he flipped the bag upside down and out came more packets of spaghetti than you could even count. after what seemed like an hour of the falling spaghetti boxes, out came 7 large, red tomatoes.

  you stared blankly at the camera. “spaghetti.” for a few seconds it was silent, until you spoke again. “let’s wash our hands, shall we?” ranboo left to used the bathroom sink as a way of avoiding a hand reveal while you quickly used the kitchen sink.

  “ok, now we need to fill the pot with water.” you took a decently sized pot from ranboo’s cabinet. looking back at the counter, you realized just how much spaghetti was purchased. “uh, do we need a bigger pot…?”

  ranboo turned to look at you, and even though he had the mask and glasses on, you could tell just how sheepish he actually looked. “eh, i’m sure it’ll be fineeee. there’s no such thing as too much spaghetti, and i can always keep the extra boxes for meals with my family and stuff.”.

  you handed him the pot and went to retrieve another one for later, when you made the tomato sauce. “if you say so…”.

  “well that’s good, because i do say so. thank, oh so very much.” he was filling up the pot with water, making sure he didn’t add to much or too little while eyeballing it. grabbing a knife that wasn’t too sharp, you pushed all the boxes of spaghetti off the cutting board, leaving only the tomatoes.

  “well, let’s get started.” you looked at the camera and began slicing up the tomatoes. 

  while you waited for the water to boil, you both worked on cutting the vegetables up in order to use them for the sauce. cutting each one into quarters, you coated each fourth with pepper, olive olive, and salt before roasting them and then puree-ing them. all was well, until you heard the sound of water hitting the hot burner.

  “ranboo i told you to watch the water for when it boils!” he turned around with a light “oh crap-” and turned off the flame, throwing in the uncooked noodles.

  “idiot…” you mumbled, before going back to your tomatoes.

  “it’s not my fault! you were being distracting! if this was school, i could have you expelled.” he was stirring the noodles and adding salt accordingly, making sure everything was cooked right.

  “yeah right.” you each focused on your own work, until after maybe two hours of cooking and goofing off, the noodle and sauce were done. it was time to feast.

  “chat, this looks amazing. i bet you i am the best cook on this platform.” ranboo was boasting about his creation to the viewers. “countdown, i want a countdown. one, two, three!” on three you each took a bite.

  it was not amazing. some spaghetti noodles were overcooked, some undercooked, the sauce was watery. big failure. “why ranboo, why are you like this.” you ran over to the kitchen sink to spit out the food. “why do you kin papyrus so much??” he was happily eating away at his plate, shoving the fork under his mask.

  “well, that was rude. it tastes good in my opinion. and i am not a papyrus kinnie. he’s a skeleton who cannot cook. i, i can cook.”

  you turned to stare at him. “...kinnie moment.”.

hello that is the fic i hoped you all enjoyed mwah! it is short but so am i so its okay.