#I am living away from my partner and cats for a few years so I got some Little Guys

[vintageandroid]

New friends! Meet Noodle, Queso, and Cookie. Cookie is the black rat with a white tummy; I am learning to tell Queso and Noodle apart. (Slightly different nose splodges. Queso's is bigger and paler than Noodle's.)

[valnyte]

Touko Kuzuha Route Review

a few things of note:

I mainly play the adult version; I have an alt account but it is the regular version)

I chose the 妖艶 ending as it was the one showed for the previews (at least in the adult PV); I can confirm that this end does continue to Kuzuha's current Christmas story event story

Based on the way my uni structured its Japanese language classes, I can only say my Japanese fluency level is around 中級 level but still kept a dictionary app by my side

I am not a translator and I will not be translating his route

keep in mind that this is MY opinion, you are free to have your own and read his route as you wish

Plot: 3.5/5 ★

Kuzuha as a character: 4/5 ★

Kuzuha as a partner in a romantic relationship: 1.5/5 ★ (I am being generous)

Kuzuha when it comes to smutty situations: 8/5 ★

MC: 2/5 ★ (Again, I am being generous)

Personal route enjoyment: 3.5/5 ★

tw: dubcon, self-harm

MASSIVE spoilers up ahead so read at your own risk

If I were to summarise his route in one statement its: one-night-stand turns into a friends with (medicinal) benefits relationship that becomes a situationship until these dumbasses finally learn that direct communication is perhaps the IDEAL solution.

Can you see why I want to squeeze him?

Starting with plot, it reads like a fluffy and spicy story, heavily focused on the situationship they landed themselves in which has the air of a romcom. Seriously MC, you just let this guy who you don't know very well crash your apartment and live with you? Just because you slept with him once and found him petting a fluffy cat later on? Kuzuha is incredibly unserious as well for the most part but it is entertaining to see whatever the hell he is up to with MC, if he's going to tease her or spoil her - albeit, usually in bed. Though truth be told, I could not really see much of the romantic chemistry between them, mostly sexual chemistry and understandably so. For a romcom-y theme, I was not expecting something too high stakes but I was actually kept at the edge of my seat once the story hit around the 3/4 point as something I did not even consider an eventual side plot would turn into. Everything before the 3/4 point was very rom-com with a side of magical healing. Storywise, things sped up really quickly after that point, but so did the resolution. I had no issues with the pacing thus far, but the resolution was a bit fast. Nevertheless, it was entertaining, and I will do his route again after hopping unto a fresh route.

Next, Kuzuha himself. Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy. Wow, you really are a mess with a pretty face. His character profile labelling him "trash" [クズ] is not a joke in the slightest, he is one, and hell, he knows it with zero remorse. Even Tsubaki shit talks to MC in private that Kuzuha is a bit of a shit and neither of them will ever deny it. It makes sense that little pretty trashy kitsune becomes jealous of Ryo once MC brings the topic of her new co-worker/childhood classmate/first crush up. And it is because he knows deep down, he's not that reliable at all, save for his healing magic and his abundant sex appeal.

However as much as I will affectionately clown him, he does have his reasons why he's flippant, and everything ties back to him as the Kuzunoha kitsune. As kitsune, his liver is hunted down for the fact it has high healing capabilities, he has been hunted down in the past (by humans and youma alike) and even in the present (only by youma now), he does dislike the fact he is only seen as useful for this healing aspect. Not to mention physically painful with how parts of his liver have to be taken away and despite his highly regenerative state, its taxing to do. Moreso when it is not by his free will. Next, he is Kuzunoha from legend - there are many variants mind you, but Cybird x DMM did their own spin on it. TLDR how the legend is explained ingame: more than a thousand years back while he was being hunted down in fox form, he was caught in a trap, and he was set free by Abe no Yasuna. As gratitude, Kuzuha transformed into a beautiful woman and lived with Abe no Yasuna and the child of the latter, taking on the role of woman of the house/step in mother. A few years passed safely but then one day, Kuzuha's true identity as kitsune was revealed, and thus was chased out from the home, never seeing them again.

This then led him to the conclusion: "Love is not reciprocal. Either you take it, or it is taken from you."

Ouch.

And he does live with this conclusion set in stone for more than a thousand years until he meets MC and does not realise he is actively falling for her as the weeks go by when living with her. "Love is a one-way road," he said at the beginning. Not in this otome game, sir, it's only a one-way road because you're fictional.

All that aside, he has some very heartwarming sides to him. Despite his devil may care attitude and his love is never returned beliefs, he cannot change the fact he's genuinely compassionate towards others. It is bittersweet to read him filled with so much empathy for others cannot understand himself at the slightest. Healing MC's inability to sleep well in a very unconventional way when she didn't even ask for it at the start, to the point of actively being the one to stab himself to get a piece of his liver out to help save someone's life because he knows firsthand the pain and difference of a youma and human relationship. Characters who are a living irony of themselves am I right?

Not to mention that gentle side of his is further explored once he genuinely starts considering MC as a romantic partner. Still a big tease though .

But it does not mean he is entirely exempt from his flaws. I will address something that I did have issues with since the start: he technically coerced MC into going further with him in their first chapter. She was unsure about having sex with him at first but just a few heated moments later, one thing led to another then yup they screwed. By the time she realised it, it was too late as they already did the deed and she was shortly angry with him. Narrativewise, she was technically trapped in a "fuck him or your spirit disappears when the incense fully burns out" but he only told her that AFTER instead of the BEGINNING. Kuzuha... That is A CHOICE to make, and not a good one - considering you were the one who gave her the incense sticks in the first place 💀 Not entirely comfy with that situation even if he treated her gently. Sure he's the gentlest suitor in the starter pack, but that's just a little bit hmmmmmmmmmm. He has other flaws as well but that is my biggest gripe with him.

Would I consider him as a good romantic partner? Not exactly on that thread given how he has boundaries he wants respected but does not respect others' boundaries. He has a full point for actively looking out for MC and listening to her and responding to that at least. But he is 100% not the type of guy MC can show to her parents and get instant approval for a few other glaring issues.

This is how I see him maybe meeting the parents going in my head:

"So how did you meet?"

"Um..."

"What's your job?"

"Haha, about that-"

When it comes to sexy times in his route, there's a lot of very intensely heated moments, given his nature and the fact he's 90% in close proximity to her because he ends up living with her like a roommate/friend with benefits. Mugenro by itself has very lengthy sex scenes, and partially voiced so yes please do not be like me who forgets to turn down the volume 💀 He is a big tease, but once he knows how desperate she is, oh he's rewarding her a hundred times over. He's skilled, good grief, he knows it and makes use of everything he knows to send anyone to high heaven. Also outdoor sex does happen in one of the avatar challenges, yes I got it because I was curious and I am damn well not regretting it. Just saying, his voice getting raspy had me going, I need to hear this at home. Alone. Ehe.

Ok enough about Kuzuha, time to turn to MC. Girl... Because why. On one hand, I actively like the fact she's quite possessive towards him at the end, directly telling him there's a boundary he should never cross with her and he listens. But for the rest of the time, sweetie, there's a fine line being nice and then being trodded underfoot. And where is your common sense girl, you barely knew the guy and you're letting him crash at your place immediately? She has all the position to refuse him but nooooo. I cannot blame her for being attracted to Kuzuha with his debonair charm, but I do want to wring her like laundry sometimes with how downright idiotic she can get. Even she's not safe from being scolded by Kuzuha himself for running into a very dangerous situation. Maybe sit down with the blindfold from seeing the red flags for a moment and maybe come to terms with the different lifespans for a bit. Even just a little bit. I will give her a full point for taking on the usually active role instead of being passive and letting him make the decisions for her as she is more decisive than this free-spirited fox, but otherwise, ma'am you have a brain, don't let it waste away.

Overall, I did enjoy Kuzuha's route and will do it again to full clear everything, just not now. Not my true cup of tea, but he is arguably the nicest of the suitors so far and I am glad I read his route first. And because he's cute. If I make a plushie of him, he's going to become my new stress toy.

Have a blushie Kuzuha for the end:

K, bye.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting upset at my best friend for calling me a hoarder in passing?

My (29NB) best friend (also 29NB) have been going through major crises lately at the same time—we will call them Sun. So, yesterday, they sent me a text, when we weee talking about how they haven’t wanted to be over at my house for a while, mostly bc they don’t like my partner…although the subject was in discussion bc my partner and I are splitting up, and I will be living alone again in a couple months. At some point in this discussion, they mentioned the more pressing matter that’s caused them not to be over as much is that they are very allergic to one of my cats—but only the one I just adopted a couple years ago, they’ve had no allergy issues w the other one and they love her very much, she is their niece.

However, at one point, they mentioned that a few years ago, when I was using drugs a lot more irresponsibly than usual—to the point where I got injured from falling down the stairs—they had been speaking to my other close friends. Which is appreciated, and I knew about this already obviously since there was an intervention that happened around that time…the way they mentioned this was upsetting. Specifically, they mentioned that “they approached [other friend of mine] about my drug use bc they thought I was becoming a hoarder” and that MAJORLY triggered me—specifically the hoarder comment. The woman who gave birth to me/raised me is a hoarder, which is a well known fact to just about anyone who is close to me irl, especially anyone who’s known her irl, and ESPECIALLY Sun, who worked as her caregiver for quite a while. Also being compared to/told I am just like my abusive egg donor is the thing that will hurt me the most, bc she is the most cruel, manipulative, abusive people I’ve ever had in my life.

So the thing is, my house is indeed very messy…I have too much junk around, and it’s very difficult for me physically to keep anything clean. It’s actually one of the reasons I’m separating from my partner, and as ashamed as I am about it, I understand. However, it’s not a hoarding disorder at all—I don’t hold onto anything I don’t need out of sentimentality, and if I could wave a magic wand and simply get rid of all the extra shit I don’t need/make everything nice and clean, I would. Unfortunately, I am very disabled with too many chronic pain/fatigue conditions, and actually cleaning the house/sorting through shit to get rid of takes immense physical effort. But whenever someone offers to help me, I jump at those opportunities! I take things to be donated all the time (if I’m able to sort through the stuff that needs to go) and it’s entire worlds different than my egg donor refusing to give up several bins of my baby clothes bc she can’t bear to part with them, despite them never seeing use in her possession ever again.

So, I responded to Sun’s mention of a past conversation thinking I’m a hoarder, with offense and saying it hurt me. We had been discussing just downsizing and how we will be going through my stuff as we pack for the new place, and had mentioned that I should make sure to get rid of certain clothing things if they have holes/are worn out/whatever, which to me, sounded like they think I have a hard time throwing clothes away even if they’re not even wearable anymore. With that and the hoarding accusation in mind, I told them I was very hurt by this. I made sure to be respectful and kind yet assertive, but after explaining how this was an unfair assumption/description of me, they got upset and said I should’ve asked for clarification before coming at them.

Now, do me, I wouldn’t have even considered they meant anything other than how I interpreted it, so it would never have even occurred to me to ask for clarification if I’m not even aware there’s a miscommunication. Apparently, the reason they mentioned getting rid of clothes that have been too worn out is an issue they have themselves, but this isn’t anything I was ever aware of, and once again never would’ve thought was referring to anyone but me. They also say they’re aware that it’s my physical difficulties that make cleaning physically painful for me…but honestly, that’s not anywhere near the same as having a hoarding disorder, which is indeed what they’d accused me of.

Of course, I know the both of us overreacted—me, being offended about being accused of being a hoarder (especially since my immense difficulty cleaning the house is part of why I’m separating from my partner and is therefore something I’m incredibly sensitive about right now) and them, being offended that I took what they said wrong and being upset over some things they didn’t actually intend w what they said…but I’m just not sure if maybe I AM in the wrong here, for expressing being hurt by being called a hoarder here, or if I really am making the entire thing a big deal out of nothing.

So, AITA for voicing my offense at being called a hoarder?

What are these acronyms?

[zeroseuniverse]

Cat Lover

WC: 852 Pairing: San x reader

Honestly, if San was ever asked who he saw in his life in 5 years time he’d say his family first, they support and loved him throughout his life and got him to where he is today, then he’d say his friends, he doubted they’d let him escape their chaos even if he wanted to, Wooyoung would track him down anywhere. Third? His lover, his compassionate lover who cares more about him than anyone had ever expressed, all of his likes and dislikes were engraved in their brain, along with all of his ticks and habits. 

His love for cats was almost always noted, dates to cat cafes, feeding strays, cat plushies. Honestly their shared adoration for the animals was what made him fall for them. Especially when two injured kittens were brought into their home and nursed back to health with the gentlest of touches, given the most love they had probably ever felt in their lives. And so their family grew, two became three, all of the kittens having a disability that shattered San’s heart, but it was repaired as the two humans showered their babies in all of the love. 

That wasn’t the point of this story though, coming home to an empty house had him spooked, not even the sound of the cat's claws pattering across the floor was heard. He pulled out his phone in a panic, dialing his partner’s number quickly. Only to panic further when the call went to voicemail.

It wasn’t on purpose, they hadn’t  heard the phone ring over the sound of the pounding hammer, so when they were getting ready to go home and saw the calls they immediately called him back in a flurry of panic, was he okay?

“Sannie, are you okay?” they said immediately as the call got answered.

“Where are you?”

“I was working on something, are you okay?”

“You took the cats with you to work?”

“No, it was a personal project.”

“What project?”

“Well that isn’t something I can tell you yet.”

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise Sannie.”

“For what?”

“Just for you, I’ll show you this weekend, okay? I’m almost done.”

–

And so they did, that Saturday, the lovers were in the car by 8 AM, driving an hour away to get to their destination. San had been quiet since the call, anxious really, so the atmosphere was a bit odd, his eyes glancing down at his lover's hands often, watching them clench around the steering wheel or armrest tightly, their nerves obviously eating them up as well. 

After the awkward hour long ride the two arrived at a house making San confused, why would his surprise be in a house? They turned off the ignition and turned to face San who was looking at them in confusion, “My uncle passed, and since I was his closest relative besides his brother he left the property to me, along with some special guests to take care of. I’d like you to meet them.” was all they said before getting out of the car and walking up to the front door quickly, and as soon as he followed the two walked through the house and into the fenced in backyard, but that wasn’t what caught his attention of course, no it was the cozy shed that was once deteriorating  and decaying. It was rebuilt beautifully, the wood stained a golden brown and had multiple exit points far too small for a human.

“You did this?” San asked, confused, watching as his lover walked over to the human sized door and opened it, gesturing him to go in, and when he did? Man he swore he was in heaven. Cats were everywhere cuddled up or playing with some toys.

“My uncle fed strays so much they came to stay, he couldn’t provide much but they all fell in love with the shed, despite it being rundown, so I slowly changed it, avoiding abrupt changes that may spook them off, I had someone come to feed them since I couldn’t leave often without drawing much attention, but these were his babies, most of them came from bad pasts, were super skittish the first few times they had met me but they came around fast, I brought our three here after making sure they were all healthy and flea free, and they all immediately fell for them too.” They explained softly, watching their boyfriend’s eyes wander the area slowly in awe.

“You made them a home and took care of them all alone? Babe, I would've helped.”

“I know but you had work and I wanted to do this for him.”

“Okay, that’s okay. So what’s the plan? We can’t drive an hour everyday to get here and feed them.”

“Well your job is only 30 minutes away, and mine can be transferred to online, I was thinking we could move in here, it would be cheaper than where we live now, and there’s more space.”

It didn’t take too much convincing San was more than okay with this life, and with his lover? He’d be insane to want anything else.

[peppymintdreams]

What if Luca found out listener was a witch or something

what if the city of London try to kill them :000

I don’t know

I don’t know how that would turn out but I tried my best,

For the listener/reader I’ve been going in between using ___ or mc for their name so bare with me on this

Wicked

Luca Pearce x Witch Mc

A normal Sunday was what Mc had asked for. Luca and Mc had just gotten married and were on their honeymoon, but something was eating at Mc—something they should have told Luca years ago. They did not want this to be the moment he found out. As time went by, they dropped subtle hints every now and then, but Luca, being their husband, took it as a joke. Granted, they joked about many things, but this was serious.

So, they decided to just… straight up tell him. “Hey, L-Luca,” they started, feeling the weight of their confession. Everything about Luca was amazing—he himself was amazing. Luca turned around with a smile, “Yes? What is it, my lovely spouse?” His expression made Mc nervous. Usually, they were very stoic, trying to be unreadable to the public to hide who they truly were.

“Baby, I—” they paused, seeing Luca’s smile fade. “I have something to confess.” They took deep breaths. Since the dawn of time, witches have not been looked upon kindly by the public. Even though many would love to be these magical beings, there is always a small group dedicated to making others’ lives worse.

Luca set down the picture of him and Mc from their wedding that he had been holding. “Please don’t let this be—” Now he was getting nervous.

“NO, no, no! I do not want to separate, Luca, I promise,” they reassured him. This calmed him, leading him back to his normal calm demeanor.

“Okay, that is good to hear. I did not want it to end after getting this close to you. I cannot let you go,” he said, wrapping his arms around them. “I love you too much for you to be taken from me… no matter what or who you are, Mc, I love you… deeply.” His words echoed in their mind.

“Yeah… about that… I feel like I have not been completely honest about myself to you, Luca,” they admitted, placing their hands on his chest. Luca tilted his head like a curious kitten, looking down at them. He noticed they were holding the picture. How did they get it? It had been on the counter, and they were at least six feet away.

“Where did you get that?” he asked, glancing between the counter and Mc.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about.” They lightly tossed the picture into the air, and as it slowly glided away, Luca’s eyes widened, both confused and flabbergasted. “How?!”

Mc backed up a few feet from him. Mocha, their cat, came in, happy and rubbing against Mc. Soon enough, she was in the air, gliding right into Mc’s arms. “I was nervous to tell you and worried about how you’d perceive me if I told you before or during our wedding,” Mc said, stroking Mocha.

Luca stared at Mocha, the cat now cradled in Mc’s arms, his expression a mixture of shock and awe. “You’re... a witch?” he finally managed, his voice barely above a whisper. The sunlight streaming through the window danced around them, adding a surreal glow to the moment.

“Yeah, I know it sounds wild,” Mc said, their heart racing. “But I promise, I am still me. I just—”

Luca hugged them “no matter what you are mc you are still my perfect partner” Before they could finish, the sound of hurried footsteps echoed outside their cozy cabin. Mc’s eyes darted toward the window, and their stomach dropped. A group of townspeople had gathered, their faces twisted with anger and fear. They were brandishing firearms and pitchforks, a sight that sent a chill down Mc’s spine.

“Luca, we need to go. Now!” Mc urged; their voice urgent as they set Mocha down.

“What’s happening?” Luca asked, glancing out the window. His eyes widened in realization. “They’re coming for you, aren’t they?”

“It is not safe here. I should have told you sooner, but I did not think…” Mc’s voice trailed off, knowing the danger was real. The stigma of witchcraft had never truly faded, and now it was targeting them.

Just as Mc turned to grab their belongings, the door burst open, and townspeople poured in, their faces a mix of fear and fury. “Witch! We have found you!” one shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Mc.

“Luca, run!” Mc yelled, instinct kicking in. But before they could grab his hand, the crowd surged forward.

In the chaos, Mc felt a surge of magic rise within them. With a wave of their hand, they created a barrier, pushing back the townsfolk. “Get out!” they shouted, hoping to buy enough time.

Luca, however, would not leave them behind. “I’m not going anywhere without you!” he insisted, his eyes fierce.

Just then, Mocha, unfazed by the chaos, darted between the legs of the townspeople and leapt onto a nearby table, knocking over a candle that ignited a curtain. The fire spread quickly, adding to the panic.

“Follow me!” Mc called, guiding Luca toward the back door. They pushed through the crowd, using their magic to create small distractions—a flash of light here, a gust of wind there.

They burst through the back door and ran into the thick woods behind the cabin, the sounds of chaos fading behind them. The forest felt like a sanctuary, the trees shielding them from the madness of the town.

Once they were a safe distance away, Mc leaned against a tree, breathless. “I thought we’d be safe here,” they murmured, regret washing over them. “I should have told you before.”

Luca took their hands, his expression softening. “You are still you, Mc. And I love you, no matter what. We will figure this out together. Like I said to you when we got married, Me and you till the end together forever.” He said as the two intertwined their ring fingers.

Suddenly, a faint rustling caught their attention. From the shadows, a figure emerged—a fellow witch, cloaked and mysterious. “You two… come with me. The city is out for blood. I can help you escape.”

Mc hesitated, glancing at Luca. “Is this safe?”

“The only safe option is to get far away from here,” the figure urged. “Trust me.”

With a nod, Mc and Luca followed the witch deeper into the forest, the weight of their newfound reality settling in. As they moved through the trees, Mc felt a flicker of hope. They might be fugitives now, but they were together.

They were leaving behind the world they had created together their home and memories they had made.

After days of fleeing, Mc and Luca finally found a hidden glade deep within the forest away from the city of London away from the news and public. It was a secluded spot, surrounded by ancient trees, their thick canopies filtering sunlight into dappled patches on the forest floor. Here, they felt a sense of safety, a fleeting normalcy. They built a small shelter and lived quietly, sharing whispered dreams and stolen moments.

But one day, as Luca returned from a nearby city with supplies, an unsettling feeling settled in his gut. The path felt longer, the forest more oppressive, and he could not shake the sense that something was wrong. When he finally reached their glade, his heart sank.

The door to their makeshift home hung ajar, swaying slightly in the breeze. He pushed it open, dread pooling in his stomach. The interior was a wreck—furniture overturned, belongings scattered, and the air thick with a sense of violation. “Hey Babe…. I am back from the store, I got the candy you like…MC!” he called out, panic rising in his throat.

Silence answered.

His eyes darted around, searching for any sign of his spouse. On the ground, he spotted a crumpled piece of paper. Trembling, he picked it up and unfolded it. The note sent icy tendrils of fear creeping through him:

To the witch’s accomplice,

We have captured Mc. They are a threat to the safety of our city London, and we will not tolerate their existence. Authorities have taken them to conduct necessary experiments, and if you wish to see them again, you will cooperate. Know this: any attempts to rescue them will result in dire consequences. Mc will be euthanized if we deem it necessary.

Consider this your final warning, Mr. Pearce.

Luca’s hands shook as he read the note again, his mind racing. “No, no, no,” he muttered under his breath. The world around him blurred as the reality sank in—Mc was gone, taken by the very people who had tormented them. He felt a swell of anger rise within him, mixed with an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

He could not just stand there. Luca took a deep breath, trying to clear his racing thoughts. He needed a plan. The forest held secrets, and he knew it had its own magic. He could find allies among the other witches’ other friends, Andrew could be of help, but he would be risking Andrew’s life and that was something he did not want to do. He recalled the cloaked figure who had helped them escape—they could help him now.

Determined, Luca gathered his supplies and set out, retracing the path he had taken to reach their haven. Each step felt heavy with the weight of his fear for Mc. As he moved deeper into the woods, he whispered a silent promise: he would find them, no matter what it took.

Days passed, and Luca searched tirelessly, asking for help from anyone who would listen. Whispers of a hidden coven reached him, a group that opposed the town’s cruelty. He finally found them gathered in a clearing, their faces solemn yet fierce.

“I’m looking for Mc,” Luca pleaded, desperation lacing his words. “They’ve been taken, and I need your help to rescue them.”

One of the witches stepped forward, her eyes filled with compassion. “We have heard about the witch hunt. We will help you, but we must act quickly. The authorities are powerful and cruel.”

As they devised a plan, a flicker of hope ignited in Luca’s heart. He was not alone in this fight. Together, they would confront the dark forces that threatened Mc, and he vowed to bring them home, no matter the cost. The hidden coven worked tirelessly, and within days, they had a plan to infiltrate the facility where Mc was being held. Under the cover of night, Luca and several witches cloaked in shadows made their way to the imposing structure. The air was thick with tension as they approached the high walls topped with barbed wire.

Luca’s heart pounded in his chest. This was it. He could almost feel Mc’s presence, drawing him closer. With a wave of hands, the witches created a diversion, causing a series of lights to flicker erratically. Guards rushed to investigate, and Luca seized the moment, slipping through a side door and into the facility.

Inside, the cold concrete and harsh fluorescent lights were a stark contrast to the warmth of the forest. He navigated the maze of sterile hallways, guided only by his instinct and a desperate longing to find Mc. Each step felt heavier as he approached the heart of the facility.

Finally, he reached a heavy door marked “Containment.” Luca’s hands shook as he pushed it open, revealing a stark room with metal cells lining the walls. In the far corner, he spotted Mc, their figure slumped but unmistakable.

“Mc!” he called, rushing forward. Relief flooded through him as their eyes met, but it was quickly overshadowed by urgency. “Are you okay?”

Mc looked up, their eyes brightening despite their weakened state. “Luca! You should not be here.”

But before he could reach the cell, alarms blared, piercing through the air. A group of security guards appeared, their faces grim and determined. “Stop right there!” one shouted, raising a baton.

Luca felt panic clawing at him. “I’m not leaving you!” he shouted back, desperation pouring from his heart.

“Luca, listen!” Mc called urgently, their voice steady despite the chaos. “Remember our promise? ‘Me and you till the end, together forever.’ We can do this!”

Mc raised their hands, calling forth a brilliant light that enveloped the cell. The energy pulsed, and the bars began to tremble. Luca could feel the connection between them—a bond that transcended the barriers that held them apart.

Just as the guards lunged for him, Mc's spell faltered and unleashed a shockwave, causing the door to burst open. Luca dashed inside, and they embraced tightly, relief flooding through them. But their moment of connection was short-lived as security swarmed.

“Get away from them!” one guard yelled, grabbing Luca by the arms. “You’re under arrest!”

“No!” Mc shouted, struggling against the restraints that held them. “I won’t let you take them!” Luca cried out.

In that frantic moment, Mc focused their energy, whispering a spell that resonated deep within the walls of the facility. “Together!” they spoke,

Luca felt a rush of energy as Mc channeled their magic, the connection between them growing stronger. With one last push, the back wall of cell disintegrated, freeing Mc from their confines.

But in the chaos, security guards grabbed Luca, restraining him. “Let him go!” Mc cried, trying to break free, but it was too late. The guards overwhelmed him, pulling him back. “Go Mc be free” Luca called out struggling to free himself “No Luca… I wont leave without you” they said.

“If you leave, we’ll kill him now, if the witch is executed, we’d have no use for you!” one guard sneered, raising a baton.

Luca met Mc’s gaze one last time, and in that fleeting moment, they shared an unspoken promise: they would find a way back to each other. Go he mouthed as tears flowed down their eyes “No Luca I refuse to let you go” they said holding up their hands ready to cast any magic on anyone who came close to them making up their mind Mc casted a shockwave pushing all the facility workers back and gave Luca one last gaze before flying out of the building…free they were… free “I love you!” he shouted just as the guard knocked him out.

When Luca came to, he found himself lying in the grass outside the facility, the sky painted in twilight hues. Confused and disoriented, he pushed himself up, panic flooding back as he remembered what had happened.

“Mc!” he yelled, scrambling to his feet. The facility loomed ominously behind him, but there was no sign of his spouse. Heart pounding, he scanned the area, desperation clawing at him. “Where are you?”

As he stumbled away from the building, he felt a faint flicker of magic lingering in the air—a sign that Mc was still out there, and that their bond was unbroken. He had to find them, no matter what it took.

Determined, Luca took a deep breath and started walking into the encroaching darkness of the forest, fueled by love and an unyielding resolve to reunite with his spouse.

[f0xgl0v3]

Octavian headcanons :3

Another round of general Octavian headcanons, family edition! Would first like to state I’m not touching the legacy strands currently because stuff like Augustus Caesar and his demigod status in Pjo and all of that messes stuff up and I need more time to think about that and actually reading ToA and stuff.

Anyways, motivation for the Octavian post is to settle pre-audition jitters. Drama club beauty and the beast production, and auditions are tomorrow :,] gonna have to weasel my way through the singing part and hope my acting carries me the rest of the way through (in the words of Perseus Jackson; if I tried to sing I’m pretty sure it’d cause an avalanche.)

*Update because I’ve been writing this post for a day; we had dance auditions first! Pretty much just seeing where we are in dancing skills for this, it was really chill and fun and vibes were immaculate! Sorry this post is kind of ajifnsdb and I couldn’t get names down for these people, but I’d want to do that after figuring out.. naming work?

But ajdienajdjfneb whatever onto the headcannons!!

Big family, BIIIG family. In my head he has 8 other siblings (he is indeed the eighth child just for my amusement and it works for the little time before I work on how I think New Rome does naming, and I’m not touching that with a 39 and a half foot pole)

Old money family too. They’re descended from Emperors and they’ve managed to continue that legacy and have a family business, aware of Triumvirate holdings, may even have positive work relations.

Octavian is the 2nd youngest, in order his siblings go; 1st eldest, 2 kid, 3 child, 4&5 were twins, then 6,7,8,9. His poor mom has so many kids- but got solid breaks between them, though I don’t want to calculate ages at the moment.

Staring with his youngest sister. It’s Julia, that Julia. The one that’s Terminus’s little ‘assistant’. Octavian likes getting the opportunity to see her more often than most of his other siblings. She’s a little menace but gets away with it, nothing bad though, just mischievous.

Skipping Octavian we go to child 7. Who doesn’t have a name but just got out of the legion a few years ago, and moved out of the legion/New Rome. Bit of a rebel, but just wants to settle down with a family of their own and distance themselves from the family. They had a neutral-to negative relationship with Octavian. Octavian doesn’t like his siblings distance from Rome, and sibling likes Octavian but can’t help worry over him.

Kid 6 would be probably Gaius or something (again. Not about to go think too hard about what is gonna end up being Octavian’s Oc siblings. I can think about them later) he got out honorably after Mt.Tam, I like to think he’s still looking for a job and drifting in that University stage.

Kids 5&4 are twins, fraternal (maybe identical but I want more fraternal twins) and absolutely wild?? Jobs set up probably as something like loan sharks, they help upkeep the family fortune. Think like Ebenezer Scrooge or how Bob Marley are described in Christmas Carol. Taught Octavian everything they knew about blackmail, manipulation, etc. but they’re generally silly. Both usually try to charge people for various scams, think of the cartoonish dealer with the giant trench coat.

Child 3 has their own family and works for Bombillio’s (?) pretty comfortable with life. Fascinated with the mortal realm, slips on trips their parents take for business.

Child 2 and 1 have significantly branched off and live sort of anywhere, I feel like 1 is supervising that outpost in Canada (that’s another Hc I have that I talked about a LOOONG time ago) and then 2 probably lives out with their partner in San Fran and cats.

Okay a sorry I’m a little jittery because it is SNOWING!!!!! Where I am at least but still, SNOWING!! Sorry I couldn’t name anyone but still, wanted to get general family stuff down and writing posts like these calm me down when I’m feeling a bit aaaaaurgh.

Octavian has mostly good relationships with his siblings. Though he feels like he’s the only one really invested in being a citizen of New Rome and upholding the family name.

I’ll probably change around the siblings and their order whenever I decide how their ages work. But I feel they’re all relatively close in age and then Julia is just the odd one out.

His mother is a legacy from a newer family in New Rome, she’s pretty silly and generally just wants the best for her family.

His dad inherited the unnamed, unspecified family business/company and currently runs it, preserved his old crown awards and has them framed in his office, takes his family very seriously.

Okay, I’m working on the rankings research. It’s… a thing, but for now I might just make more of these random little hc posts, in between larger posts and passion stuff y’know?

Also maybe other fandoms? I’m still very much a Pjo person but I still wanna talk about other stuff lol,

Anyway here’s a quick Octavian thing I did, I’m still messing with his design, I feel like this might stick but I’ll still mess around with his hair, but I just wanted to add a little more to this post because it felt… pretty empty lol.

Also possible post on how some of the weapons characters have look? Would love to draw actual referenced things like IVILIS(? Don’t wanna go check but the Juno sword I think- Jason’s sword-) Reyna’s spear sword & dagger. Octavian’s Pilum & dagger, some hc stuff, maybe actual Camp Half-Blood stuff (because I wanna draw Backbiter)

Okay, I think I’m done now :3

[oattoast]

cw vent, sick cat, mention of pet death. grief.

Greasy took a turn for the worse. We rushed to the vet again yesterday. She was straining and dripping bloody urine everywhere two days after finishing up a round of antibiotics. They tested her urine yesterday, and today told me over the phone that there's no bacteria. It could be caused by cancer, crystals, or stress (idiopathic cystitis or something like that). Unfortunately the urinary stress food has chicken in it, which she has an intolerance to, and I don't see any other options for food. It's hard enough to find a kidney food she can eat with no chicken.

On the week Greasy became sick, I was under an extreme amount of stress. I had two university system transfer applications due, final exams and papers, my childhood best friend hundreds of miles away was recently disabled and sick and now her husband is leaving her so I was trying to support from afar because she has little family support, my sister was going through abdominal pain and too traumatized to go to the doctor, my dad had some virtual proctored tests for his auto mechanic job licenses and had to use my computer and was techphobic and overwhelmed by it and being an ass, I was withdrawing from rexulti (a psych med that had been supporting my functioning for a year but had intolerable side effects), etc. I fear that if Greasy's illness is caused by stress, it is my fault because it was my own stress that she perceived and absorbed.

Today, Greasy ate maybe 15% of the food I served her. I fear she is nearing the end. Her body doesn't want to fight anymore. She struggles with the stress of subcutaneous fluids every other day, medications multiple times a day, and frequent vet visits. The vet noticed she was extra afraid yesterday. I think she is protesting. Her body is tired and she doesn't want to do this anymore.

I think back to September, when the vet gave her only a few weeks to live. On the car ride home I promised her I would never take her to the vet again. We did everything we could to keep her comfortable. And she got better instead. She stopped hiding under the bed. She started eating with gusto. She was herself again, loving and sweet. It was good. It was so, so good for two months. I felt like I stole her back from death. I was grateful for the extra time. I tried to be present every day and feel how lucky we were. I loved her.

Then two weeks ago I got stressed, and she got sick. I got greedy for more time. All of December I've just been dragging her to the vet for tests and more treatments when she gets sick. I want her to be comfortable. I want to avoid suffering. Am I doing that? Am I forcing her to stay alive with me now, under so much stress from fluids and medicines and especially vet visits? Am I being selfish? She went down from a healthy 9-10 pounds to just 5.95 pounds in the last couple of years. I can feel her ribs and the bumps of her spine. She is weak and anemic, which makes her cold. She just wants to cuddle and purr. She is very old. Eighteen years of being my constant companion and dearest friend. I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction, so I'll never have a partner in life. I'm in my thirties. My friends and family partnered off and have started their lives. Greasy has been my closest friend and family. She gives me physical affection. She gives me purpose and motivation to get up when I can't scrounge it up for myself. She is home, safety, comfort. And has been for 18 years. Am I blinded to her suffering because of how much I don't want to let her go?

We stopped the "just in case" antibiotic today and kept her on an opiate pain med, which has stopped all the urinary symptoms (a sign that this is not a UTI and is in fact stress related). I have 2 more days of the opiate. I will talk to her regular vet tomorrow to go over the blood work we took yesterday and make a solid treatment plan in depth. I am going to emphasize comfort care. Just pain medicine.

My dad asked me why I'm crying so much, when I already did my crying back in September when we got the first bad prognosis. He said I got these bonus months already. We got a good long time out of Greasy. I did my grieving.

I don't think I'll ever be done grieving her, long after she is gone. I didn't do all my crying. I never will do all my crying. I think I will grieve as long as I live, and that's okay. It's beautiful to have shared a life with this small precious creature so full of love and comfort and safety. It was so good to have 18 years of uncomplicated healthy constant companionship. This is a gift. The pain is only proportional to the love. Big love. Big loss. Big pain.

[dragongirldeity]

there's currently a very rare thunderstorm in San Francisco. i am sitting on my couch and generally enjoying this moment in life, because the past several years have been full of trials and tribulations. life is exhausting as a transfem, since my existence is first and foremost Political, and Up For Debate, while i largely just want to exist with my friends and loved ones and not be bothered.

of course, civilization being what it is right now, i am largely not afforded the luxury of getting to simply not be bothered about my existence. i can tune out some amount of it, for sure, but there's just such a volume of transmisogyny across society that it's always a status debuff i have to work against or put out of mind.

the past few years have been difficult, between graduating shortly before covid-19 (most of my 20s have been a weird haze of quarantining), amicably parting with my partner of 7 years (we have grown and simply have different wants now). i've never actually had many long-term support vectors in my life: i was sent to a religious high school, and wasn't allowed or able to keep in contact with any of my friends from growing up. i am estranged from my parents since they e-stalked me and have generally never respected my boundaries or autonomy as a person, and that's without getting into the mess of them Not Liking Me Being Queer. a lot of my friends have been moving away from the bay area, because building queer-trans community is Fucking Difficult when basically everyone in the bay area is only here transiently (and when a lot of queer stuff in the bay is cis-queer and not trans-queer, too). and that's why i myself am moving away later this year: much of my social graph has moved, and my attempts to regrow things here for the past year-and-change..... haven't been unsuccessful, but i think have helped me realize that even if i have a Fulfilling Social Graph here again, i would still be happier elsewhere, away from all the tech companies and nimbys and generally-constant sunny days (i am a vampire who enjoys the rain).

suffice it to say that life is generally difficult for a lot of trans people right now. life is difficult for your average people in general right now with the general socioeconomic situation we're in. life is more difficult for trans people, since we face nearly constant discrimination and harassment and hate and legislation. and then life can be even more difficult in typical life ways on top of that.

i still have things better than a lot of my peers: my computer autism means i have a reasonably stable job & career path. my best friend, whom i dearly love and cherish, was just in town visiting me last week. a few of my long-time internet friends live a few blocks away, and my two cats unconditionally love me. i do have people in my life who love me and care about my well-being. i am, blessedly, not alone in all this. and on top of all that i am fortunate enough to have found a pretty good therapist who can help me navigate and compartmentalize and process all of the struggles i face, since it's frankly a lot for a disabled autistic transfemme to navigate on my own.

the main thing that has been so hugely positive here is The Internet. the community i have would not really exist if not for The Internet. the social hubs that i cultivate and operate for my friends are, of course, on the internet. i meet friends-of-friends on discord and tumblr and telegram and whatnot, and it's truly great being able to be and feel so connected because of it.

and yet......... even on the internet, we are not free of anything. if anything, we're more vulnerable on the internet; our online identities and presences are intertwined, connected, and visible; it's easy for hateful motherfuckers to find the most vulnerable people online and go after them. if one part of your presence is found, it's a thread a stranger can try and unravel to expose you, to wield against you. at least in person, you can always put up a façade, walling off strangers and giving them nothing else to go off of; online, we just project an entity to be perceived, and often times aren't really aware of everything.

there's. a point here i wanted to make, somewhere. i wanted to say something with all this. i think it's that for a lot of us, we are just tired of all the fucking transmisogyny around every corner. it's already so much struggling to exist as a person In General at this moment in time. It's even harder having to face hate and struggle to exist even online just because you're a transfemme who wants to drop the façade around those like you. we're not allowed to have our own digital communities without outsiders wanting to look in and police us there, too.

for a lot of us, we are simply too tired and overwhelmed from everything else to also deal with this a lot of the time. and yet, deal with it we must, because we will be harassed. we will have headass CEOs saying headass CEO stuff. we will have politicians trying to legislate our right to exist away.

this is a lot to say that i don't regret anything about transitioning or whatever. i love being trans. it's a beautiful experience and i am much better for it, and am wholeheartedly glad to be trans, glad to know the trans people i know, and glad to love as i love. it is, truly, the neverending transmisogyny that is the problem, and it is truly exhausting having to deal with the transphobia and transmisogyny. nowhere is free from it except for the small insular exclusive spaces we carve out for ourselves.

take care of each other. love the transfemmes and transmascs in your life unabashedly, because there's functionally infinite amounts of hate we have to deal with at every corner, and aside from absolutely bodying the hate out of existence, the next best thing you can do to help is to support and love the trans people you know and treat them with compassion.

[goodbysunball]

Best of 2023

Toledo, OH, Dec. 30, 2023

It's going to take years to unpack the last few months of 2023. Whatever mental trauma is inflicted upon those removed from the situation in no way approximates the devastation and inhumanity occurring daily to millions. That the US is funding it all, and institutions and businesses domestically are punishing those who speak out about it, is sickening and terrifying. The latest Lulu's email newsletter wrote more eloquently about it all than I could, and plainly calls for empathy at the end: "Be good in a bad world."

And we do that, pretending things are normal for the sake of others, our kids, our partners. But things are not normal, and that pressure forces other changes, because while we can to some degree control what happens within our lives, there's no fix for seeing (let alone experiencing) dead, maimed children regularly on Instagram, victims of bombings without caution or consequence. A sense of powerlessness pervades. What we can do is keep talking, sharing and banding together. Being good in a bad world.

Some notes:

Lots more instrumental, or nearly instrumental, music than usual this year on my list, which tracks with the current climate. Music without words, or without discernible words, leaves space for thoughts to become untangled, sure; but a lot of what’s highlighted below felt more transcendent than meditative.

I still listen to rap quite a bit, but very few new songs I heard stuck around past a few days. Call it malaise from living in an era where every other song on the radio has a trap beat. Starlito dropped a clunker, which shouldn't have shocked me but did, and it personally felt significant. Maybe it’s indicative of the old guard’s demise, but hopefully it removes a wall and allows me to engage with newer rap music better. That being said: Veeze's Ganger was head and shoulders above everything else; billy woods' short verse on "As the Crow Flies" made me gasp the first time I heard it (and I also loved ELUCID's verse on "Baby Steps"); and I listened to The Jacka's The Jack Artist most of all.

Of all the books I read this year, two books by Fernanda Melchor, Hurricane Season and Paradais, stood out. Melchor’s prose is incredibly powerful, bleakly funny and vicious in equal measure. The sharp, frank assessments by characters in often ludicrous situations feel like a product of the contemporary but imbued with some ancient wisdom. Shout out to Julia S. for the new and notable South American literature tips.

In the midst of holiday/short day doldrums, amidst endless bleak news reports, it was difficult battling back cynicism to listen to anything, especially back to all of these records and tapes listed below. It ended up being oddly therapeutic, highly enjoyable and maybe necessary, the same as when I force myself out to shows when it's easier to stay home. That feeling chips away at the notion of this list-making exercise as futile, for me certainly, but hopefully also for you. Thank you for reading, and I hope you find something you like, too.

And so:

LP

Lewsberg, Out and About (12XU)

Equipment Pointed Ankh, From Inside the House (Bruit Direct Disques)

The Native Cats, The Way On Is the Way Off (Chapter Music)

Water Damage, 2 Songs (12XU)

VoidCeremony, Threads of Unknowing (20 Buck Spin)

Emily Robb, If I Am Misery Then Give Me Affection (Petty Bunco)

CIA Debutante, Down, Willow (Siltbreeze)

Olimpia Splendid, 2 (Fonal/Kraak)

Nusidm, The Last Temptation of Thrill (Bruit Direct Disques)

Incipientium, Underg​å​ng (Happiest Place)

Witness K, s/t (ever/never)

Leda, Neuter (Discreet Music)

12"/10"/7"/CS

Chrome Cell Torture, Laugh Then Lie 7" (Scarlet)

Joe Colley, Acting As If 10" (Substantia Innominata)

Disintegration, Time Moves For Me 12" (Feel It)

Life Expectancy, Decline CS (Iron Lung)

Gabi Losoncy, Lieutenant single-sided 12" (self-released)

Peg, We Know Who You Are and Everyone Is on the Lookout CS (No Rent)

Romance, Seven Inches of... 7" (self-released)

Sial, Sangkar 7" (La Vida Es Un Mus)

Slow Blink/Stomachache split CS (Hectare)

Howard Stelzer, oh calm down you're fine CS (No Rent)

Troth, Idle Easel 12" (Digital Regress)

Mark Van Fleet, Vordenal CS (Refulgent Sepulchre)

Stress Positions at the Pilot Light, Dec. 9, 2023

Shows

Bill Orcutt & Chris Corsano duo at Jackson Terminal, Knoxville, TN, April 1

Hell & My Wall at DRKMTTR, Nashville, TN, April 7

Cyberplasm, X-Harlow & FKA Ice at the Pilot Light, Knoxville, TN, May 18

Lewsberg at JJ's Bohemia, Chattanooga, TN, September 27

Stress Positions & Utopia at the Pilot Light, Knoxville, TN, December 9

Five songs favorably commented upon by my 3 y/o daughter*

*Something that happens so rarely that I try to take note when it does

Dua Lipa, "Levitating"

Martin Frawley, "Heart In Hand"

Mount Trout, "Hang Around"

Witness K, "In Knots"

The Young Senators, "Ringing Bells (Sweet Music) Part II"

[wisteriasymphony]

thinkin about heroes day bugbite

----------------

Catalyst's arms were bound behind her back by a string she couldn't break, no matter what she tried to use. She had to snap it with her hands, twist it until it tore, even attempted to bite it, but the string seemed to repair itself even before the damage was fully done. It was humiliating to know Gabriel was watching her struggle like a bunny in a bear trap, writhing as it considered gnawing a leg off just for a chance at survival. She wondered why Gabriel had even allowed for her to possibly get caught to begin with.

The massive figure in crimson pulled in the rope slowly, making it seem like Bugbite was dragging in a caught fish or a harpooned whale, a predator delighting in the ease of the catch, grinning through bloodied gums and yellow teeth. The blood in that case was one of Catalyst's few blows to Bugbite that was truly successful. But while kicking an opponent in the teeth would be enough to keel a man over... Bugbite was no mere man.

"You know the deal," Bugbite smiled, still towering over Catalyst even while kneeling down to get closer to her level. "So let's say we cut to the chase, hm?"

Catalyst tried to scoot away from Bugbite's grasp, but to no avail. She knew Hawkmoth could see and hear it all down to her own panicked breath, and yet nothing seemed to be coming for help! Not another akuma for reinforcement, not a swarm to be a distraction, not even Hawkmoth himself.

"You either tell me who you are, and I let you live. Or," they laughed, unholstering a knife from their belt. "I find out who you are anyways!"

Hawkmoth wasn't doing anything. He wasn't even speaking to Catalyst anymore. All these years, and Gabriel would just let her die?!

"You don't know that I'll detransform upon death!" Catalyst spat. "There'd be no reason to kill me, you'd gain nothing from it!"

The knife was raised, glinting in the harsh sunlight, and Bugbite smiled as if to answer that the killing was the reason in itself. Catalyst couldn't see the blade anymore, but she knew it was leveled diagonally above her head. One fell swoop, and she'd be dead in an instant at best. If Hawkmoth didn't care to save her now, would he care to save her if she was bleeding out from the head in a pile of rubble?

"You're right, I don't know!" Bugbite laughed. "...Do you?"

--

Pawltergiest had been busy doing his usual job of trying to evacuate the crowd; He was cataclysming the debris in the peoples' way and leading them into safe avenues and roads, all far enough away to both protect them from harm and from possibly seeing Bugbite 'strike' again. Something had felt off about this day, and he'd just assumed it was because he used to hate being a hero. But now, there was a tenuous balance between him and his partner, and people thought he was useful again. He was the 'good cop' to Bugbite's 'bad cop', in a way.

When he finally caught up to see how Bugbite was dealing with Catalyst..... Nathalie Sancoeur was being carried away, a crude letter "B" carved into the side of her stomach.

"And let that serve as a lesson to your employer," the bug had barked to Nathalie, "That the longer he tries to hide, the more of you will crawl back to him branded!"

Bugbite turned around, finding Pawltergiest entirely still and entirely silent.

"Well, another day's work," she had said, picking up her partner and letting him sit on one of her shoulders as per the usual routine. "How did it go for you, kitty-cat? You hurt at all? -Hell, what am I saying, you probably did great—"

"Claudia, I know her."

"Hm? The uh- Nathalie Sancoeur person? ...I mean, that's good that you recognize her, I suppose."

"No. I know her. She's my dad's secretary."

Bugbite stopped in her tracks. She'd tried hard over the past few days to close off her own emotions to make herself less susceptible; Claudia already had trouble even giving names to her feelings, so she had taken to it quite well.

But she knew what guilt felt like. Regret.

"Ah, look," Bugbite said, scooping Pawltergiest off her shoulder and holding him up. "You know I don't really mean it, kit. They get healed too in the end, y'know. And I, I just get a bit carried away here and there, it wasn't a personal thing."

----------------

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I (early 20s nb) be the asshole for "rushing"/taking over the responsibility my partner(early to mid 20s f) took to rehome a cat we adopted together?

🐉🐱 <- so I notice myself

Tw for cat death

I know this sounds terrible just from the title but please read the whole thing. I'm just so emotionally done at this point and it's getting dangerous for us. This is also long lmao and please don't post this to YouTube or TikTok, I don't wanna deal with it, even if I changed names and a few ages.

So I've been living with my partner and her family for almost 3 years. I moved 10 hrs away from my home state to live with her because my parents were abusive. We dated for about 2 years prior to me moving. My partners family are equally abusive just in different ways. My family had some verbal and emotional/mental abuse while her family has constantly threatened physical abuse and lots of mental and verbal abuse.

Either way, I was screwed but I'd rather at least be able to come home to the love of my life instead of only being able to text her. I should mention here that my partner works full time while I'm working to get on disability for mobility issues so I am with our cats every day. I bring a little income with commissions on my crafts but it's not enough to soully sustain us.

When I moved in, my partner had 2 cats, let's call them Salem and Vector. Salem was a 10 yr old male cat and Vector was 2 yr old male cat. About a year after I moved in, in the beginning of 2022, Salem died suddenly from kidney failure and we were devastated. Salem wasn't originally my partner's cat (she'd gotten him from a friend only a year prior to me moving in) but we still loved him deeply. He was the first pet I ever put down and I'll never forget my partner's sobbing. About 2 and ½ months later, we got a kitten, lets call him Arthur, a 3 month old male. We shouldn't have but my partner wanted one, I thought I was ready and Vector was very very lonely and depressed.

I named Arthur and Arthur was feisty from the very beginning but he was sweetish. I told my partner, in a panic late at night a week after getting him; that I wasn't ready for a new kitten, i regretted getting him, we werent bonding, etc etc and she told me to just relax and breathe and give it time so i did. I gave it a full year and a half and... I'm ashamed to say I still don't feel that love connection with him. It started out small; chewing and destroying wires, food aggression (not like he'd bite us if we went near his food, more just got very excited and would painfully climb us to get to our food or any food) and because he was so jumpy, he'd freak out over every sound and rip us up trying to jump off of us.

We got Arthur from a cat colony being watched over by my partner's coworkers however he was born indoors, spent the necessary time with Mom and was handled from day one so he wasn't feral. He'd wouldn't beat us up but anytime he got excited to play or get pet or get wet food or anything we got scarred. His destruction has just gotten worse the older he's gotten, hes very very loud all the time (we like vocal cats but he screams) and he's not affectionate at all. He's not mean but he's just not interested in any cuddling or pets or anything. I don't want a rug I have to feed and clean up shit after.

About 4 months later, we ended up with, let's call her Coral. Coral was another kitten, female this time, when she crawled up in my car. She was feral from the start but she quickly became very loving and cuddly and sweet. She still very much so is. I wanna say, although I never grew a particular fondness for Arthur like my partner has, I've never mistreated, abused or neglected Arthur in any way. I've never yelled at him or treated him differently from our other cats. He got the same cuddles and attention Coral and Vector get, the only difference is that Arthur is crated at night so he doesn't make us lose an eye from some hard zoomies or get into food or dangerous things when we can't watch him. He's out all day and is only crated from 12 pm to 7 am when my partner gets up and let's him out. He's got a bed, food and water, a few toys and a small litter box in his crate so he's covered and he can see us and his siblings the entire night so hes not have separation anxiety.

Now onto the hard part. I'm done with Arthur. Emotional and physically, I don't want Arthur anymore. I'm exhausted from being constantly ripped up and screamed at and having important things destroyed by Arthur the spider cat. No amount of clicker training or treats or sprays of water or redirections can stop him from ripping the room apart(said room is a small apartment, not a normal small room). He gets played with by us all the time and he's got 2 energetic siblings who play with him, we don't know why he acts this way. I could handle Arthur's antics for a bit longer if needed but 2 new issues have made me finally put my foot down about Arthur's further residence with us.

1. Arthur is constantly trying to dominate Coral to the point of hurting her and fur flying fights and scratches. It should be noted that all three cats were neutered/spayed the moment they were of age to do so so it's not a male cat thing. Arthur wants to be higher in the hierarchy but Coral won't take it and thus, some nasty screaming hissy cat fights. Almost very other time they are fine it's just when he gets humpy. There is also a near weekly occurrence of him not reading her " I don't want to play anymore" signals and fights ensue. I'm not gonna stand my cats hurting each other and Arthur is the constant instigator. He tries to fight with Vector too but gets put down immediately, he picks on Coral and not in a playful way. I'm not playing favorites because I love Coral and I'm not connected with Arthur, if Coral was aggressive, we'd take the issue just as seriously but Arthur is the aggressor and Coral is smaller and younger than him so she can't stand up for herself.

2. We need to get out of this house. Her family's abuse is worsening and they constantly joke about hurting our pets and their own pets (the pets have never seen each other, different floors of the house so Arthur's aggression has nothing to do with them). We could barely afford an apartment in the current housing crisis and can barely find ones that allow 1 cat, let alone 2. We have never and probably will never find one that allows 3. All this ignoring the fact we'd lose our deposit instantly from Arthur's destruction.

All in all, Arthur needs to go. I'm noticing myself getting more and more stressed and frustrated and short with a Arthur and he doesn't deserve to live with someone who doesn't love him. Even if he's treated no differently, I'm sure Arthur can tell and even if I feel justified in my lack of love for him, I know he's not trying to hurt us or destroy things maliciously. I'm not nor will ever hurt him but I'm just done with constantly flinching cause he jumped on the bed or dreading letting him out of the cage in the morning because it was so peaceful before then.

I told my partner about 8 months ago (June of 2023) that I was fully done with Arthur and if we ever wanted to leave here, he'd have to go. I told my partner I wanted to start this process in Sept and hopefully have him either rehome or in a no-kill shelter by the end of Oct. I know my partner gets very attached to her animals so that's why I gave her 3 months to process things and a month to rehome him. I was very gentle but stern about this because it would be what's best for him and best for us. My partner agreed but asked if she could do the rehoming and to not talk about it until Sept. I obliged.

Sept, as you can see, has long come and went and now it's Jan of 2024. I've been asking my partner about once a month about the rehoming process and how it's going with mixed results. She made a pet profile on a rehoming site but when I read the description, she didn't really "sell" him well aka mentioned every possible bad thing about him and didn't mention any positives. It felt like she was sabotaging it but I let it be. She showed me a list of 40 no-kill shelters in Dec but she had only checked off 4 of them. She promised me he'd be rehomed by the end of 2023 and he's still here and we are no closer to doing it.

I don't want to wait till the week we move out to rehome him, the stress of the move and changing of the household will be too much stress on us and on Coral and Vector. I don't wanna wait for kitten season to swing back around and we'll never find a place for him. I know it's hard for her but she's breaking a promise for a cat she's admitted herself she's starting to hate. I know rehoming is a process but it's not moving and I feel like my say on his continued residency is being disregarded. I'm not trying to rush my partner but she's broken a promise, it's been 8 months since she could start preparing for this and 5 since she's "started the process" she's dragging her feet intentionally.

So, my idea is that I'll take over the process. I'll offer to help and find the places and get things in order so we can get one less stressor in our lives and Arthur can live in a home with the attention and patience he deserves. I wanna ask her if she wants my help but I don't want her to feel rushed to do it and get upset with me for doing what she promised she would.

I feel like she's waiting for me to just give up and give in and let him stay but she's not the one who has to deal with him all day every day and we don't make enough to find a bougie apartment to take in 3 cats. He'd need to be rehomed even if we got attached because we can't take them all. So, would I be the asshole for taking over the rehoming process for a cat me and my partner no longer like because my partner is intentionally dragging her feet on it or am I justified?

(to note, my partner brought up the possibility that Arthur has a mental illness/possibly be inbred due to the cat colony situation or that we could get him professional training. The issue is we live in a very rural area without a lot of money, 1. We would not be able to afford any mental illness controlling medicine for the long term when we can barely afford our own meds and 2. Classes to train animals are very expensive and the places that could train Arthur are at least a 3 hour drive away. Its not feasible for us, especially when I don't have a license/might not be able to drive on my own due to my disability. If he was properly sheltered, they could get him that help/training or his new owners could afford to but we can't. We can't put him in a kill shelter for moralistic reasons either.)

What are these acronyms?

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

ough I am so sorry if your askbox is closed for the matchup thing, the pinned post says it’s open but the actual like, button, says it’s closed. So if it is just ignore this lmao.

ANYWAY my tavs name is Dmtryo and I’m gonna be submitting this for him :0

He’s a lolth drow, and a pretty ambivalent durge, he’s meant to be a bad person, but not a tried and true villain yk? Still saved the gate and allat but also fucked over isobel and got the slayer form bc he thought the prize might be cool.

Masc pref, poly or mono is fine!

Traits (bc most of them can’t be cleanly sorted into good and bad)

hugely protective of the things and people he likes. (Often to the point of excess.)

Seems like a shit show. Very well put together.

Often comes off as cold, but is far friendlier than people think. (As long as he doesn’t perceive you as a threat)

Will very happily murder anyone who does come across as a threat.

Brings his partner the severed limbs or bones of the creatures he has killed like some kind of fucked up cat

Violence is his go to solution for conflict but he is hesitant to kill innocents (unless he’s getting paid)

On the note of getting paid, there’s very little he won’t do for a pouch of gold and the promise of gore.

A/N: Hey, no prob! @cakeboxie (LOVE your blog handle btw lol) I just waited until the ask box reopened to answer this, lol. So now that the time has come… Let me see… Hmm. Because you specified you wanted a male match, I match your Tav with… Astarion!

🩸Astarion would be the perfect match for your Dmtryo! Astarion is pretty ambivalent himself- he’s certainly not a golden hero, but I couldn't exactly call him a villain either. He does possess a moral compass, but it’s broken, and often centered around what’s best for himself, which is one of the reasons I think he and Dmtryo would be good together. 

Astarion is fiercely protective of his things, and the people he finds himself coming to love. Everything he ever had was once taken away from him by Cazador, so anything he does manage to attain, be it physical objects or relationships, he feels he must guard intensely. Once Astarion falls for Dmtryo he is very protective, almost possessive over him. Realistically, Astarion knows that Dmtryo is his, but that doesn’t stop him from being suspicious of every NPC they talk to. I mean, who knows? What if they’d try and steal his love? He has to stay on guard. 

Although he’s not a drow himself, Astarion is no stranger to fleeing from the sunlight, and operating in the dark. He’s lived as a vampire spawn for two-hundred years after all. Although he may harbor some residual suspicions about lolth-sworn drow, so long as Dmtryo’s loyalty to Astarion and vice versa comes before their loyalty to any God, Astarion has no qualms about being partners with a lolth-sworn drow. 

I also loved how you described Dmytro as a fucked up cat because if any of the companions were to be compared to a cat, it’s Astarion. He’s sneaky, and secretive, and very persnickety when it comes to certain things. He also has a tendency to swat/claw anyone he perceives as dangerous, and being rather vulnerable, that means most people he meets end up on the other side of his blade. But the great thing is that it isn't a problem for Dmytro. Dismembering or murdering people, so long as it’s the right people, is just fine with him!

I can honestly see either Spawn!Astarion or Ascended!Astarion working out with Dmytro long term as well. Spawn!Astarion more so if your Dmytro chooses to try and fight the dark urge inside him, and Ascended!Astarion if Dmytro chooses to embrace his Bhalspawn heritage. 

Either way they end up a notorious power couple, one very few in Baldur’s Gate would dare to cross. 

Be it by taking on mercenary jobs or ruling as their respective godly selves, I see a very lucrative, very influential couplet taking charge of their future. ;) 

[lupismaris]

It's the final day of my 20s and I found myself answering, as expected, the question "how's it feel?" rather a lot, asked most by my older colleagues, especially when they realized this is technically a big milestone birthday

The trouble is it's not a milestone birthday for me in the same sense.

24 was a milestone, it was supposed to be a diagnosis, an omen, the tidings of the end.

25 was a milestone, the final bell, last call, the closing of the doors. I can remember standing in a freezing Times Square at midnight while bf ordered our pizza waiting for an act of god, hoping it would sound as loving as a bartender calling out the last round of the night or a mother switching on the porch light for wandering kids to come home.

26-29 weren't milestones so much as baffling confusing years left to my own devices waiting for the cosmic powers that be to realize they'd miscounted and the hunt would snatch me up at some point or another to set the scales right. Somewhere along the way I stopped thinking that and started thinking instead that I might as well make use of whatever time I'd manage to steal before someone notices. Then it shifted to "how does one build a life out of borrowed time, especially when life after 25 never existed as a possibility?"

Now 30 comes, and I'm being asked on the last day of my 20s, how I'm feeling, by people who were terrified of aging, terrified of losing that chapter of their lives, and I told them honestly, as un-depressingly as possible, that 30 feels a bit like coming up for air. I never thought I'd see it, but here it is and I'm waiting to breathe deep.

I swim a lot, whenever I can, the colder the water the better, and there's a moment when you've pushed too hard and held on too long and you see the surface above you with the light cresting and shimmering in the dark as your muscles seize and your lungs shudder under your ribs and you push for those last few inches until you break through for air, gasping, wrenching breathes without grace or dignity, reborn each time, raw and desperate and violently alive- only to do it again a few minutes later, joyfully.

That's what this feels like.

There's no running away this year, no fleeing as far from this makeshift home as possible. There's no self deprecation or deprivation or spreading ourselves too thin. Hell, I have a shrink appointment in twenty minutes, I'm asking for med refills and sleeping meds finally after fighting it for years. I have an ultrasound a week after Christmas. Nothing changes really. But I'm surrounded by people who showed up when I offered a place to come and be together, offered a meal and a bit of love. I have you all here in the void. I have enough to keep the cats fed and medication in the cabinet and food on the table. I have partners who love me even with the distance. Despite it all I'm happy, I think for the first time I am happy, debt, illness and all.

Here's to 30.

Here's to you, to me, to coming up for air.

And here's to the queers who can't envision life past 16, 18, 21, 25- we build our own lives. Sometimes it's entirely out of scraps. It will never look quite like you picture it. But there will hopefully come a moment, be it soft and subtle or a jazz band chorus, when you realize you are loved and the world lies at your feet. The smallest step makes it possible, even just waking up tomorrow counts.

I love you all so very much. Thank you for sticking with me the last decade 💕

Here's to 30 🥂

All my love xxoo

James Maren

[queenofcarrotflowers-s]

hello~ I am returning to tumblr, the place of my youth, after a good few years away. this feels like a homecoming in a weird way because tumblr had such a big impact on myself and my identity growing up, and honestly I haven't had a place I could explore my thoughts in the same way in awhile. but my dash has become quite dead while I was gone so I'm looking for new mutuals/people to follow.

(also, if we've been mutuals and you're still here and you see this, please feel free to say hey!)

so let me (re-)introduce myself—my name is mikayla or mik (she/they is cool), and I am 28 years old and a public librarian + union steward in my daily life. I'm bi and currently living with my sweet partner of three-and-a-half years. we have two cats that I deeply adore, named snickers and lorelei. snickers is a big, beautiful former cat beauty pageant runner-up and lorelei is a tiny gal who was rescued from the streets as a teen mom. caring for them gives me so much purpose in my life and I don't know where I'd be without them! anyways, let me pay the cat tax:

(left: lorelei, right: snickers—in a rare moment of peace and camaraderie!)

I deal with chronic fatigue and other issues from an autoimmune thyroid disorder (Hashimoto's) and was recently diagnosed with anxiety/persistent depression/ADHD, which I mention here not because I think anyone wanted my entire medical history but because I hope to write about my experiences and possibly connect with others living with chronic illness, mental health struggles, and/or neurodiversity, as well.

current interests under the cut! if you're into any of the same things, please feel free to reach out / follow! I'd love to meet some new moots/friends :~)

some of my current interests include: cross-stitch/embroidery, latch hook rug-making, creative reuse art, art journaling, cats, libraries, dollhouse miniatures, zumba fitness, union organizing, socialism/communism, thrifting and antique/vintage collecting, interior design and organization, cryptids, folk art, graphic novels, tattoos (I currently have 19), podcasts & audiobooks, dungeons & dragons, country line dancing (I went to one queer country dance party and am now obsessed lol)

video games: baldur's gate 3 (hyperfixating hard on this one rn), disco elysium, paradise killer, stardew valley, animal crossing: new horizons

tv shows: what we do in the shadows, beastars, sex education, yellowjackets, abbott elementary, stranger things, the boys, i think you should leave, the bear, cutthroat kitchen, good eats, tuca & bertie, bojack horseman, black mirror, toast of london, rupaul's drag race, the good place, schitt's creek

authors: grady hendrix, jeanette winterson, lisa hanawalt, michael deforge, lucy knisley, box brown, agustina bazterrica, patricia polacco, brian k. vaughan, sylvia plath, mary roach, caitlin doughty, patricia lockwood, haruki murakami

music: andrew bird, kate bush, yebba, weyes blood, bright eyes, lucy dacus, fleet foxes, remi wolf, fiona apple, hozier, benny sings, gus dapperton, orville peck, father john misty, dolly parton, loretta lynn, madison cunningham, mac miller, the decemberists, the magnetic fields, ABBA, cheekface, wild child, chappell roan, the chicks, villagers, fleece, the growlers, peach pit

podcasts: and that's why we drink, beach too sandy water too wet, ridiculous crime, dimension 20, behind the bastards, welcome to night vale, last podcast on the left, sounds like a cult

[fioras-resolve]

i'm an hour away from San Francisco, and less than a day away from gdc. the stuff is terrifying to me, and i'm almost scared to go. like, i'll be on my own in a massive conference center, potentially interacting with people a lot better than me at this whole gamedev shtick. it's strange, you know? to a lot of people i've met i *am* the intimidating gamedev, but when i'm in the presence of other devs i'm reminded that i'm a socially awkward loser who probably wouldn't fit in with this whole thing anyway. i mean fuck, i'm going to wear the cat ears, in large part because i'm hoping that gives people an easy in for talking with me. but it can just as easily make me look like a weirdo who's not taking this seriously. and i do take it seriously! i take it very seriously. i take it more seriously than anyone else i know, because goddammit games are my life. my truest love. the constant in my life that makes it all worth it.

and i'm scared, you know? i'm scared that despite how mature i feel of late, i'm still a fuckin kid. and like, i know, okay? i know that "realizing you're still a kid is the mature thing," but it's different, okay? this isn't "humbling." for years, since i was in high school, i've been insecure about fitting in with people older than me. with rare exception, i'm the youngest one in any group, because i've always been doing shit that few others can. and like, look, i know it's not the Correct thing to say, i know that saying that i, angie nyx, have special talents that others don't is entering some real shit territory. i am well aware that despite my obstacles i am still in an immense position of privilege for even being able to make games in the first place. but i haven't come this far, in creating, analyzing, and learning about games to be told that i'm just like anyone else. 

*sigh* i want to have self-respect and self-confidence without being vain, but really sometimes i just wanna tell someone "i know more than you, why are you questioning me?" i'm in a position where i get to talk about games with people in a way where they listen, and i have an obligation to listen to them. and i hate the feeling i get when someone tells me they see me as a standard they need to live up to, because it shows the contradiction of my whole approach to my work. i take this stuff really seriously, i pursue it as a passion like no other, and i hold myself to a high standard, but i also recognize that holding literally anyone else to that standard would be harmful. i've lost friends over this, and only one has come back.

man, i just... i'm pushed all sorts of ways by this. i'm worried that my going to gdc makes me a sellout or an uberdweeb or an ivory tower elitist. but at the same time i'm worried that i'm NOT good enough to even be in this space. i'm choosing to go to this conference because i believe in my craft, because i want to get better, and because gdc talks have been my comfort media for years. there's some part of me, at the core of my being, that thinks this will be a nice and enriching conference where i'll learn a lot and maybe get to network. this is the place i'll go to meet My People. but i'm terrified, you know? i'm scared that all that i've built up is just pretend. i'm even MORE scared that i'll fuck it up somehow by being so autistic. scared that the mask will slip and i'll reveal myself to be a scared cat in a human body. scared that i'll embarrass myself, or make someone uncomfortable. i'm scared that maybe i'm not a real game developer, but someone just cosplaying as one.

man, i just... i wish i could cuddle with someone right now. it's been months since i've seen a partner or even a friend in person. it's been so long since i've had any kind of contact, any kind of warmth or closeness. i wish i was doing that instead of going by myself to a convention full of people i don't know. i'm lonely. i'm scared. the real reason why i wanted a friend to go with me is because that way i wouldn't feel so alone. i'd have someone i could talk to who was right here with me. if things went badly, i'd get support. instead i'm going with my mom, who very openly treats this as a vacation opportunity like any other. she wants to see the sights of san francisco. what i need is someone who i can share a room with and know it's all gonna be okay. god dammit.

[therapy-familiar-reports]

REPORT #Q@&$ DATE: !& | ! | In the œth Year of the ߧrd Cycle REPORTER: Loch | Mimi (familiar) CLIENT: Aidan Corcoran (wizard)

NOTE:

Starting this year, the Department of Familiar-Wizard Relations is requiring working familiars and all of their wizard partners to document their work for historical records. The records will be sealed. All of the following information in this report will remain confidential until records are made public at the beginning of the next Cycle. This report and any other reports made by the Familiar Therapeutic Service Agency, due to its status as a healing center and thus subject to the Healing Privacy Act, will be handled with even further care to ensure absolute confidentiality. If a client would like to request for their records to be destroyed, they should contact their Agency liaison.

TW: Memory loss, dementia, wizard death, pet death

BEGIN ENTRY:

Today, Earl told me I had to write down a report for each of my clients due to a new law from the Department. When I asked him how the report should be formatted and written, he responded with, “Eh? I don’t quite know — write whatever comes to your mind, I guess.” 

So, here I am. Writing whatever I want with these gross opposable thumbs. 

Yes, you read right, gross! Taking forms with opposable thumbs is my least favorite. It makes me feel all squirmy inside, ya know? Alas… I digress. This report is about my most recent client and Pact companion, Aidan Corcoran.

I started working with Aidan two years ago, in the &@th Year of this Cycle. Aidan’s long-time cat, Mimi, had passed away that year. As a 90-year-old wizard with some memory and cognitive problems, Aidan was struggling to adjust to the loss. His daughter Cynthia recommended a therapy familiar. Aidan said he would give it a try. They reached out to my Agency and after a few scheduled visits, it was determined that I would be a good fit for Aidan. Cats are, after all, one of my favorite forms to adopt.

My Pact with Aidan was established, and I came to live with him in the Zochek neighborhood. It was a quiet area, right along the shore of Loch Realtra. He lived in a little brownstone townhouse with a bright red door and a creaky front porch. The porch was clogged with potted plants of all kinds that made me feel like I was walking through the great forests of Murk again when I passed under their shade. Aidan was a passionate amateur botanist, you see.

“Mimi, did you know that most tree species are not even related to each other? They’re entirely different plants who just evolved into the same structure in order to survive,” He once told me while he was pruning the olive tree in his small backyard.

I loved it when he told me those random botanical facts— even when he repeated the same ones.

Now, for you future readers, yes, he called me by the same name as his old cat. This was part of our agreement. Some familiars will choose their own name and stick to it, but I love having multiple names. When I make a Pact with another being, I let them choose a name for me that marks the beginning of our unique relationship. I carry every name I am given with me. I am Mimi, I am Harold, I am Diamond, and I am many more. My Agency coworkers, though, mostly call me Loch because that was the first name I was given when I started working here. But that’s a whole other report… back to Aidan.

Aidan was a stocky and short fellow with a big personality. He was lively, loud, and always quick with a string of curses when he accidentally knocked something over. Such occurrences were common. Aidan confided to me that he had been clumsy since he was a boy. The only difference now was that his magic wasn’t quick enough anymore to fix his missteps. To make up for it, he had replaced the convenience of telekinesis with “just as magical” words, he often joked. As a familiar in a Pact, I could have drawn on our combined pool of magic to catch the objects, but Aidan was adamant that I didn’t.

“Don’t do that now,” He said to me after I had caught a glass that he had elbowed off the kitchen counter, “I can very well take care of my own messes, thank you very much.”

He was stubborn in that old man way which I never quite understood, but I respected his wishes. Too many times had I seen my elderly clients be denied their fully deserved autonomy. I just made sure I was there to watch as his shaky hands grabbed the broom and swept up the shards of glass.

…Damn Earl! I’m not even sure what else I should write down for this report. I could theoretically write absolutely everything down about Aidan, but I fear that this report would be far too long. Perhaps, then, I should speak of his standard routine.

Aidan spent most of his days with his hands in the dirt or around a cup of tea as he watched birds and people fly by his front porch. He loved to read in the mornings. Many nights, he listened to the Bards of Ole runewave station on his old magic stone, singing along loudly and mostly off-key. He would tell me all about how this song was the one he would often hear playing on the stones in his hometown’s alchemy store and how that song was the one he played on his lute for Cynthia’s first birthday.

Cynthia, of course, was all grown up now. She lived just down the street with her two partners. She came over every day to check in and spend time with her dad. Sometimes, her partners came, too. These full family visits often turned into a rousing game of Parcheesi. Cynthia was extremely competitive, and it was clear that she got it from Aidan. Curses were hurled across the board and laughter would fill the air as Cynthia’s partners chuckled at the intensity with which Aidan and Cynthia played. By the time the game was over, whether Aidan had won or lost, he would always have a big, languorous smile across his face — his eyes soft with weariness and joy.

Of course, there were hard moments, too. He would frequently get confused, asking when Cynthia was coming home from school or when he needed to be at the office (he had been retired for nearly 3 decades). Sometimes, he got sad because he knew he couldn’t remember all the details.

“I know you’re Mimi but not really Mimi,” He would say, frowning at me. 

I sat with him through each of those moments. Sometimes, all I had to do was jump into his lap, rest my head against his chest, and purr. Other times, when I felt it was necessary, I would speak with him to remind him of details, to reassure him that Cynthia was safe in her own home and would be coming by tomorrow. Only a couple of times did I have to call Cynthia to help support.

The days continued much like this for two years. Quiet mornings, lively afternoons, and cool nights curled up beside Aidan’s pillow as he muttered softly in his sleep.

One of the most striking things about Aidan, I will say, was the way he could fill your heart with just a few, simple words. Maybe it was the old bard in him. Maybe it was wisdom gained through his many years. Or maybe it was his dislike of fancy, suffocated words. However it may be… in moments of quiet, when it was just me and him and it felt like the rest of the world was frozen, he would turn to me and smile.

“Mimi… you make me feel like a million gold coins.”

Yesterday, Aidan died. Peacefully, in his sleep. 

I felt the magical bonds of our Pact dissolve and return to the Murk.

I think I will take a break from work for a while.

~END ENTRY~