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#I am gonna start introducing myself with ‘let it be known to the world’
gunkbaby · 2 months
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i love the photos/pinto short story bc what an opening
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In terms of the theories you’ve brought up, that does make sense. After all, even accounting for the lack of a known different on time between their original time and ours, they are similar enough that perhaps that convergent evolution in similar but harsher versions of our world would occur. As for being prepared for what happened…given the kinds of residents who end up arriving, the folks here and I are very familiar with dealing with Pokémon who are scared and injured, especially if they end up being permanent residents and don’t end up taken in by a family who comes by. I’m actually thankful Hogan, Electro, and now Emir have adapted as well as they have to their new home for that reason.
I imagine with Lilith, the mess afterwards wasn’t as sticky, given the juice that Hogan had drank was from Sitrus berries, and the barrels were pierced as a result of that. We had to clean the shed before it could be repaired as well as both Hogan and Julien after the sudden bout of wrestling, and though Julien is very used to baths even with the fact he’s a fire-type, Hogan was clearly unsure of the soap we used out of unfamiliarity. Least they calmed down when he was given one of the rubber duckletts we keep for stressed out residents taking baths to use like a stress ball. They proceeded to claim that specific one as their personal rubber ducklett, amusingly enough, and always has it in hand when washing up.
As for Electro and Emir, besides both of them also being buddies with Auther and Volt thanks to the former’s physical therapy with them and also introducing the latter to them, while each of them were in recovery, they were as shy as you’d expect, especially considering that I’ve heard that Xurkitree tend to be very energetic and Koraidon are often not unlike young Rockruff in behavior, a trait I’ve noticed is shared with many Miraidon as well. Electro started opening up at Volt’s insistence, the Dracozolt in question basically beckoning their friend to play in the snow with some other buddies who live here, which somehow did wonders for helping Electro open up. I have a feeling this led to Electro wanting to befriend Emir, perhaps able to figure out the similar situation and wanting to be to Emir what Volt was to them. I’d say it worked well, given how before that point, Emir only really seemed to trust Cantante, likely due to her being the one to find them and let us know so we could free Emir and treat their injures, myself, presumably since I am Cantante’s trainer, and a few others, my colleagues who focus more on the medical side of our establishment.
I think it's at least an interesting framework for understanding why these Pokemon are the way they are, both with Ultra Beasts and Paradox Pokemon. While we can directly observe where Ultra Beasts come from with the help of Pokemon like Solgaleo, Lunala, and Necrozma, we can't do the same with Paradox Pokemon at this time - but we can still make a lot of inferences about what their homes are like just by their physiology and their links to present Pokemon. Gonna ramble more under a cut so I don't blow out anyone's dash.
For instance, my Iron Moth, Lilith, mostly survives off of sunlight, has powerful attacks, and has a tough exterior. This suggests it lives in a sunlight-rich environment, mostly ruling out the 'eternal clouds' theory someone was floating about the Paradoxes' future, and probably had serious predators or competed heavily with other Pokemon, which also explains the aggression. With Great Tusk, the past Paradox Pokemon we know the most about, we can guess similar things - it's an herbivore, but also a powerful attacker with a lot of aggression, meaning it probably faces a lot of danger in nature.
And yeah...the transit in time or space alone can be very frightening for Pokemon like that, and all that natural aggression doesn't make the landing any easier. It's very lucky that there are people and organizations like you and like my lab to intervene and prevent these Pokemon - and others - from coming to harm. It sounds like Hogan, Emir, and Electro got lucky with where they landed, and I really hope the same is true of Lilith.
And heh, thankfully Lillith's mess wasn't nearly as...sticky. It just flung papers everywhere and knocked over a few things, and got some Sludge Bomb splat on a wall. Not too hard to clean. It's interesting how Hogan took on those barrels, given how Buzzwole eat in the wild. And cleaning a Buzzwole must have been a funny experience! I always find it sweet how Pokemon like Ultra Beasts, Paradox Pokemon, and Legendaries or Mythicals in general are sometimes just the same as other Pokemon, doing things like picking favorite toys or comfort objects.
It's also wonderful how Pokemon care for and help each other! Seems like Volt did a lot to help Electro, and Electro did a lot to help Emir. Electro even paid forward how Volt was kind to it, which is so sweet...so many Pokemon are just wonderful to each other. I genuinely don't know what we'd do without Pokemon like that.
Also, I'd object to the comparison of Miraidon and Rockruff, but one of my colleagues is outside throwing a ball for the visiting 'Raidons and they're chasing after it like, well, little Rockruff. Lilith is staring intently. Arceus above, once things calm down I am going to try and catch one.
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buubuu-sedai · 2 years
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Introduction to my Love for Wheel of Time + Re-read Blog Announcement
Greetings various beings! I am here today to awkwardly ramble my way through an introduction and my intentions of starting a re-read blog of my beloved Wheel of Time. (TLDR I guess)
First things first!
A bit about myself ->->->
In reality I'm a 36 year old non-binary asexual person who is pretty neurodivergent (albeit undiagnosed). I have a deep nostalgic love for the 90's which pairs well with my cynical and existential nature. I am a liberal user of cuss words which has only been exacerbated by working in a kitchen (I'm a baker/line cook).
In virtual reality, buubuu sedai is all of those things plus gets to be a cat-person as well which is pretty rad, not gonna lie. Also they're Aes Sedai because I say so. Purple Ajah because ever since I discovered I was Ace the color purple has slowly overtaken my life lmao. Buubuu is a name for a character i created in high school after watching a lot of Dragon Ball Z. Majin Buu -> booboo -> buubuu. I don' t know it tickles my brain.
How I was First Introduced to Wheel of Time
My mother and her two sisters all love to read and their book interests varied from romance to fantasy to suspense and everything in between. They traded books between themselves pretty regularly and when I was maybe 10 or 11 (or maybe younger I dunno my memories are fuzzy) I got to be a part of that book trading group. I was already an avid reader as a child (I once got left on the playground after recess in elementary school because I was sitting on a swing reading Charlotte's Web) I loved borrowing books from the school library and would read whatever I could get my hands on. I did have an early preference for fantasy cuz I though wizards and elves were really cool (still do).
Around 13-14 one of my aunts had been reading WoT and they brought us the first 7ish books? Maybe 8. I was hooked pretty hard right from the beginning. As a kid I was extremely impressionable and I latched on to the characters straight away. I felt really attached to the story and world as it was an escape from my social awkwardness and my tumultuous home life. What a great escape it was holy cow.
Any time a new book came out my aunt would read it and then let us borrow it. I'd always request the other books so I could reread them, too! When I finally got myself a job (around 19 because I was riddled with anxiety) I started collecting all the books for myself so I could read whenever I wanted to.
After that I would just constantly do re-reads nearly every year. I had spoiled myself pretty young on the level of detail I expected from a book so while I did read other book series, I couldn't find that same world building anywhere but WoT.
Blog Intentions
I'm gonna start a re-read and do chapter summaries a few times a week. I'll do a spoiler free summary at the top and a spoiler heavy at the bottom with all my nostalgic impressions and rambling.
I wouldn't say I have an encyclopedic knowledge of the series, but I know a lot. I used to spend as much time as I could reading theories online as a teenager. I didn't have a ton of theories myself other than I really thought an actual dragon would show up at some point. (I thought the Spine of the World would turn out to be a sleeping dragon that woke up lmao)
Wheel of TIme pretty much lives rent free in my brain and I really haven't known anyone in real life who also has read it and loved it as much as me. So here I am on the interwebs to scream that love into the void and maybe have something scream back (ok maybe don't scream at me but maybe high five?)
Aaaaaanyway
I hope you'll join me and I can't wait to start!
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spookitapes · 2 years
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nsfw confession below the cut !! MINORS DNI !!
okay i just got my soul snatched 😀 just hooked up with my old guy bsf/first ever body for the first time in like 5 years…let’s call him J! for context i am a 4’9 mixed emo bitch & he’s a 6’2 yt boy with hella tats….that man took my innocence and first introduced me into toxic relationships lmao !! but no actually…he really ruined me…had me crying into my pillow and then humping it minutes later bc he had me conditioned to think of his dick every time i cried since he’d have me sobbing on his dick any chance he got 😭
after i finally let him take my virginity i was ruined bro…every time we hung out i had to get his dick someway. he had me obsessed with him and his dick and that’s exactly how he wanted it, too. no matter how much we fought or got on each other’s nerves we just kept coming back because no one else could fuck like us. he ignited my size kink before i even knew wtf that was…i remember the first time he ever fingered me and i was so scared because his fingers were so big and he just kept telling me he’d make ‘em fit while playing my clit threw my panties…and god after we fell off i just never had another guy ever made me cum again 😭 only girls and myself since…
well we recently got back in touch and we’ve been hanging and chilling since he got out of jail (LMAO OOPS) !! well bitch he took me out since this mfering morning!! he bought me a fat ass breakfast, took me shopping, took me to get coffee and pastries from my face cafe, took me to the speedway, got me to try funnel cake for the first time, and after a day full of fun he took me to his house and proceeded to fuck the absolute shit out of me….
okay let’s break this down bc i’m a whore !! when he took me shopping he picked out this like light pink satin dress that fits me SO GOOD…it also has a slit up my left leg & makes my tits look AMAZING…well i ended up changing after he bought it for me and keeping it on the rest of the day…and he just kept sneaking glances at me the whole day and i was blushing so hard jfc it’s embarrassing tbh.
well he ended up staring into my eyes while he rolled and i just super flustered and i started blushing and looking away and he was like “no no no..i spoil you all day and got you sitting pretty on my couch while i roll a blunt to smoke you out…the least you could do is let me look at you while i do.” and i just wanted to mount him. like fully just yank his pants off and ride his dick into the sunset 😩
so i looked back in his eyes and i know he could tell i was already going stupid for him from the dumb ass smirk he gave me…well while we were smoking let’s just say i get bold when high…and today was my first day smoking in two weeks so j was pretty geeked by hit like 4 😭 i ended up in his lap with him smoking the blunt and guiding my hips while i grinded on him…bro he made sure i kept getting hits in and the weed was just hitting and i was so sensitive and god J always gets so dirty when he’s high bc he doesn’t have a filter…and he just ended up having to put the blunt out bc i was just begging him to fuck me like at that point i was soaking thru to his pants 😭
j finally got his dick out and i was just so needy i lined him up and just started pushing down…his dick is literally the biggest i’ve ever taken and riding him is just a whole different world of full. so be grabbed my hips real quick and he was like “careful baby don’t wanna hurt yourself, huh? or do you like it when i get you a little hurt, yeaaah i know you like it when i treat you a little rough, don’t you baby?” and i was just moaning out yesyesyes love it when you hurt me a little baby love it so much !
and after he finally got me adjusted to his big ass dick he just started fucking me on him like a rag doll…i thought he was gonna let me have some control but i should’ve known better lmao…i think i just forgot he’s so strong so when he started slamming my body up and down on top of his cock like that i was just floating dude…i’m usually not that loud in the bedroom but he had me screaming !! 😭
and i went to go take the dress off but he fucking growled at me dude…held my hands behind my back with one of his while he choked me with his other one and just started fucking up into me so hard, but slow..he was staring me in the eyes with these fucking crazy eyes like he was gonna kill me or smth and he was like “don’t you dare take this dress off, not when you look so pretty wearing what i got you. yeah baby, say you look pretty. tell daddy how pretty you look while i’m deep in your fucking princess pussy, come on. say it. say it or you’re not coming, not on this dick, not at all. now, fucking. say. it.” and when i tell you my mouth started blabbing! i was not about to miss the opportunity to come, especially on his heavenly cock!
mm i look so pretty daddy, so pretty in the dress you got me! thank you for giving me your big dick,- fuck, you’re so deep please baby fuck me hard please needacumsobad!
and with that he flipped us over and literally POUNDED me until i was squiring all over him and he just kept going kept fucking using me like his little rag doll….and i let him…and even though it’s only been a few hours since this happened im still probably gonna meet up with him in 15 minutes to fuck again, bc i’m simply weak. he makes my toes curl and idc if he ends bad i’m having fun and getting my pussy absolute obliterated !!
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atomic-thomas · 4 months
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(Fake ASMR Commission) Tomboy Giantess Flirts With You
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"Oooh, who's that down there? They look pretty cute. Hopefully they won't mind if I give them a bird's eye view~"
...
"Yoink! Heh heh~"
"Woah. Chill, little one. You're acting like I'm gonna bite your head off or something. I mean... I'll admit. You do look like a snack. Don't take that literally though. I may be... You know... Huge. But I'm not a monster. Not in a moral sense at least."
...
"See, that's the thing. Ever since monster people integrated into human society, everyone has been frustratingly cautious around giants specifically. Dragon-kin? That's fine. Slimes? No problem. Fairies? Oh, everyone loves fairies."
"But for some reason, giants are feared way too much. Even by other monster folk. Why do so many people assume that Big = Scary? It's like everyone forgot that giants are abiding by human laws. We're not gonna do anything bad."
...
"Ugh... Sorry. We just met & I'm already venting my problems to you like we've known each other for a decade. I should introduce myself before saying another word."
"My name is Colossa. And I'm a giantess who lives near the city."
...
"What's so funny? Is it my name?"
...
"Well yeah. We giants always get names befitting our massive size. I'm surprised we're able to keep finding ways to twist big adjectives into names."
"So anyway... What brings a cutie like you out here all by yourself?"
...
"Just a nature walk, huh? Well, if you're trying to appreciate the scenery then how about I put you on my head? Then you can see the world from my point of view."
...
"Oh come on! Don't be that way. Step out of your comfort zone. Live a little. Just hold onto my hair if you're afraid of falling off. Nothing bad is gonna happen."
...
"Nuh Uh! I insist. You're going on top of my head. Just relax. It'll be fun."
...
"Oh My God, you don't need to scream. Haha~ You're not in any danger. Just look at this view! I see the world like this all the time."
"Just hold on tight if you're really that afraid of falling. And even if you do, I'll provide you with a very soft landing. I assure you."
...
"That means whatever you want it to mean. Use your imagination."
"Anyway... This is awesome, right? I can hear you laughing up there. And just a moment ago, you were screaming."
...
"A fearful laugh. Yeah right. Just admit that you're enjoying this."
...
"See? I told you this would be fun. I bet there's plenty of humans out there who wish that a giant would do this for them. The dynamic of our drastically different sizes allows for a world of unique possibilities & fun ways for us to interact with each other."
...
"Oh, you wanna stay up there? That's fine by me."
"Wait a just a damn moment... I just thought of a great idea. How about I go for a walk while you stay on my head? You can pretend like I'm a giant mech that you're controlling. And we can just kinda... Talk about stuff, you know?"
...
"Yeah, that's what I thought. No one would turn down an opportunity like this. Enjoy the ride. And the view of course."
*giant footstep sounds start & go on for... a while. I'll let you know when I want it to stop. lol*
"So... Where are you from?"
...
"The city. Oooh, so we live close. That's convenient. I work in the city. Multiple jobs at that."
...
"Well, for starters... I'm an attraction at the amusement park."
...
"Yes, you heard that correctly. I am one of the attractions. There's a couple things I do. The first goes as follows."
"An attendant ties a bungee cord to one of my fingers. And then they tie that bungee cord to a human."
"After that, they climb onto the palm of my hand, I lift them up &..."
"I use them as a yo-yo!"
...
"Hahahaha! I'm kidding. If I really did that, then the human would be at risk of splatting into my hand on the rebound &... Well, we can't have that."
"What actually happens is the human simply jumping off my hand & letting the bungee cord do the rest."
...
"What if it breaks. What do you think? We have equipment to prevent accidents. Ever since I started this gig, there's never been an incident."
"The second thing I do at the amusement park is act as a swing ride. There's a couple ways I can do this."
"I can either attach a human to each of my fingers using bungee cords & swing them around that way. Or if there's less people, I can just clench them in my fists. Not too tightly of course. It's perfectly safe. Never had an issue."
...
"There are probably other things I could do at the amusement park if I wanted to, but I wanna talk about my other job. I'm a construction worker."
...
"Unsurprising, right? A giant working for construction. It makes all the sense in the world."
"Naturally, I do stuff like building, helping my co-workers with scaffolding & heavy lifting."
"But above all else... I LOVE when I'm put on demolition duty. It's so invigorating! Nothing beats the privilege of getting to break something! Tear it apart! It's great when I've had a bad day & just need to take out my anger on something."
...
"Oh relax. It's not like I have violent tendencies or anything. We all have our emotions. Still though... I suppose it's reasonable to feel uncomfortable in the presence of an angry giant even if they mean no harm. We're just so... Big. We gotta be careful around the smaller folk."
"Speaking of being careful... There's this one co-worker I know in particular. She's a Drider. And lemme tell ya... Driders really hate giant shoes. Must be a deep-rooted fear that bug folk have."
"One time, I didn't notice her below me & almost stepped on her. I felt terrible knowing what could've happened. It took her a few days to warm up to me again. Can't say I blame her. That must've been really scary for her."
...
"Yeah, being a giant isn't always as cool as it seems. There's some perks, sure. It's fun to tower over everything & be super strong. But I have to be so careful. Walking around in the city is a tricky endeavor."
"There's cars, people, infrastructure... One wrong move & something bad will probably happen. I gotta take it seriously. Can't just throw my weight around."
...
"You know you should never ask a girl's weight, right? Hehe~ Don't worry. It's fine. I understand your curiosity."
"I'm 150 feet tall & weigh over a thousand tons. So uh... Yeah. I carry a lot of responsibility within this body of mine."
...
"That's a great question. I'm not sure how I don't stress the streets' weight limit. Hmmm... You know what? Let's not think too much about that."
...
"Why'd I pick you up. Well..."
*giant footstep sounds stop now*
"God, why can't I find the words for this? It isn't that complicated. Um... Hold on. I'm gonna take you off my head now. I want you in my hands for this."
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"You're really cute &... You know... Good looks usually get a person through the front door &..."
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"Sigh... I wanna get to know you. I don't know why that was so hard for me to say. It's just... I work with humans all the time, but I've always wanted to establish a personal connection with one. I'm not saying we need to start a relationship if you don't want to. I feel that would come off too strongly. We just met. But I at least wanna go out on a date with you. Maybe we can be friends. Something more if you want."
"Ugh... I sound like such a bumbling mess right now. I wanna state my desires, but don't wanna overwhelm you. And I don't even really know if I'm looking for romance or just a friendship."
"I'm sorry. This is all probably frying your brain, isn't it?"
...
"You... You get it. Really? You understood all of that?"
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"You'll go on a date with me. For real? Seriously?"
...
"That's so awesome! I could jump for joy right now!"
"Buuuuut I won't. I'd cause some pretty bad tremors if I did that. Don't wanna set off an earthquake because I got too excited."
...
"Yeah, let's discuss date ideas. I can think of a few ways in which a human & giant can mingle. We just need something fun that we can both agree on."
"I'm really looking forward to learning more about you, little one."
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THE END
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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years
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In Need of a Breath
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Word Count: 4007
Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback
A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day. 
This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.
I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.
Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!
FATWS MASTERLIST
cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST
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!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!
“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.
“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.
Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.
There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.
You had been there.
You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.
But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.
“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”
“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.
“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”
“I didn’t necessarily agree-”
“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”
You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”
“Steve took all that with him.”
Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”
You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”
“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”
“Are you doing okay?”
You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”
“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”
You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”
Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”
“What?”
“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”
Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”
He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”
“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”
“I dunno.”
He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”
Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”
“And the longest?”
“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.” 
Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”
“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.
He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”
“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”
“I wasn’t!”
“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”
“It’s just been homework and stuff-”
“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”
“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”
“Whaddya mean?”
You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”
He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”
“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”
He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”
You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”
“Because you loved him.”
“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.
“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”
You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”
There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”
“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”
You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”
“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”
You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”
“It’s…a tough topic.”
You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”
The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”
“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”
He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.
****************
“What?”
Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”
“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.
“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”
“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”
Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.
“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”
You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”
“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.
“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.
“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”
The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.
“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”
You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”
A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”
“What did you do?!”
“We need him!”
“You’re going back to prison.”
“If I may-”
All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”
You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…
“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”
You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”
What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.
Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?
You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”
“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.
You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.
Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.
Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.
You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.
But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.
“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.
“No I’m not.”
“Yeah you are. 
“Bucky, I’m not mad.”
“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”
You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”
His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”
You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, James. I’m sure.”
He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”
“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”
*****************
Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.
You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.
His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.
The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.
“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.
You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.
You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.
You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”
Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”
“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.
“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”
“I like Marvin Gaye.”
“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”
Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.
~
“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”
“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”
You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”
Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”
“Why not? Everyone loves you.”
“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”
You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”
He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”
“...because I’m good at it?”
“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”
You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”
“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”
“Whaddya mean?”
He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”
“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”
He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”
~
“Y/N!”
You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”
You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”
“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”
Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”
You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”
“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”
You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.
“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”
“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”
You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”
He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”
“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”
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tarydarrington · 3 years
Text
"Alright, everyone," Veth says with authority, and everyone else quiets down. "Tomorrow is the big day."
Caleb sighs and ducks behind his drink. There is a speech coming. This is exactly the sort of ceremony he had hoped to avoid by having this get-together at his home rather than the bar Veth had suggested. It's only five of them, tonight; Beauregard and Yasha are always in town, and Veth had insisted on coming. And Essek, of course. He's not sure when the elf's presence at his side became an of course, but in a careful way, he likes it.
“As the person in this world who cares the most about Caleb--”
Essek silently quirks an eyebrow at that, and it doesn’t get past Veth.
“Alright, come on, just because you got him into bed and I didn’t doesn’t mean--”
Caleb clears his throat loudly, and Veth’s smile snaps back into place.
“As Caleb’s oldest, dearest, truest friend,” she says, and Essek manages to look dignified even while rolling his eyes, “it is my humble duty to tell you all how amazing he is on this momentous occasion.”
“You know, I am starting a new job, not getting married,” Caleb murmurs in her direction.
“And we’re all very proud of you!” Veth replies.
Caleb takes a long drink as the others chime in with agreement. Yasha shoots him a sympathetic look, and he returns a tight smile.
“Come on, man,” Beau says from where she leans against the table, “aren’t you excited, at all?”
He takes a long breath. Excited is a word for it. Ready to vomit at a moment’s notice is perhaps more accurate. The Soltryce Academy is tricky. He’s been back there a few times in recent weeks, for interviews and preparation, and each time, it’s felt like walking through a dream of a place the mind could not quite capture properly.
For whatever purpose, Trent has always wanted Caleb - Bren - to follow in his footsteps. Those footsteps feel a touch too literal in those hallways.
“Caleb?” Beau’s voice brings him out of his thoughts. “You still with us?”
He shakes his head. "Ja. Entschuldigung. There is a lot to think about."
Veth lowers her glass, frowning. "Nobody threatened you, did they? Because I'll have words with them."
"No, nothing like that." Not lately, anyway. He sets his own drink down on the table. "Just a bit worried, perhaps."
"Worried about what?" Beau asks flatly.
Caleb lets out a long breath, looking down at the floor. Where to begin? He’s worried that everything will go wrong. Worried that he’ll turn up with his clothes on backwards, or spill coffee down the front of his shirt, or trip over his words before the lesson even starts. Worried, most of all, about what comes after.
“I hope that I will not…” He searches for the right words. “I hope that I will be able to serve my students well enough,” he settles on. “The examples I have had were, ah….” Trent Ikithon is not one he wishes to emulate.
Essek frowns. “Carve your own path,” he says. “Someone as brilliant as you are needs no one to emulate.”
“Ja, well, that is fine for throwing together a spell or two, but I imagine the students will need a little more structure.” These are young minds. Any mistakes he makes will stick with them. He, of all people, knows just how much.
“Maybe you could ask them what they want from you,” Yasha pipes up. “You know, make sure you’re doing alright.”
Caleb lets out a long sigh. “Ja, maybe. That is a good idea.” Of course, it also requires that the students in question trust him enough to give him a straight answer.
They sit in relative silence for a moment, working away at their drinks. He hopes Veth doesn’t resent him for stepping on the atmosphere.
“Seriously, man, you’re gonna be great.” Beau knocks back the rest of her drink. “You’re already the best professor I’ve ever known.”
“I do not think the owl counts as a point of comparison,” Caleb deadpans. “Regardless, I will settle for not making a fool of myself for a first impression. That will be difficult enough.”
Beau shrugs, and reaches over to refill her glass. There’s a devious look in her eye that makes him nervous. "So why don't you practice?" she asks.
Caleb looks at her warily. "Practice?"
"Yeah, man." She gestures at the others. "Here's your class. Teach us something."
Before he can object, she’s already begun to pull an armchair toward the coffee table in the center of the room. Soon enough, three more seats have joined it, all on the same side. She throws her arms wide with a challenging grin.
“First day,” she says. “Don’t be late.” With that, she flops down onto the rightmost chair.
Transfixed in bemusement, Caleb watches as Yasha and Veth rush to occupy the next two seats in the makeshift classroom. The Expositor commands a room, it seems.
“Are you comfortable with this?” Essek murmurs as he brushes past as well. “I am willing to be the, ah... wet blanket, if need be.”
Caleb sighs, briefly twining their fingers together and squeezing once before letting him go. “Not comfortable, no, but it’s not a bad idea.”
Someone wolf whistles from the peanut gallery, and Caleb turns a fond glare on them all. All three of them are, of course, the picture of innocence. He shakes his head as Essek settles down primly in the last remaining chair. It’s not exactly the picture of an academic setting, with their glasses of half-finished booze still on the table in front of them and the lot of them draped over armchairs and ottomans.
“Alright,” says Beau, who has not even bothered to put her drink down. She makes a trilling sound that he thinks is probably meant to emulate a school bell. “Hit us.”
"We will be brutally honest," Veth promises. "Which means we will tell you honestly how perfect you are."
"Or if there's anything you could do better," Yasha adds.
Caleb stares back at them. It’s nothing he hasn’t gone over in his own head a hundred times. Even once or twice, to a captive audience of cats. It’s a short class. It will be over before he knows it.
The others look up at him expectantly. Watching him. Waiting. Caleb clears his throat.
"I, ah... feel a bit silly,” he admits.
Without a word, Essek waves a hand, and the familiar faces before him shift to those of strangers.
It’s almost embarrassing how much it helps. Caleb takes a deep breath and lets it out, running through the lesson plan in his head.
"Guten Morgen, class, I am, ah… Professor Widogast." It's the first time he's said that particular pair of words out loud.
"Whoo!" the student who is not Veth shouts.
"Yeah!" the student who is not Beau chimes in.
Caleb gives them a look and straightens his coat. "This is Introductory Transmutation, in room 142, so if you are all in the correct place--"
"Professor?" The student who is not Yasha raises her hand.
"Ah, ja, Miss…"
"Lionett."
Not-Beau slaps a hand over her own mouth and mutters, “Holy shit,” into it.
“Was that too much?” not-Yasha whispers.
“Babe, it was so hot,” not-Beau hisses back.
Caleb clears his throat. "Miss Lionett, do you have a question?"
Not-Yasha seems to suddenly remember her role, and she folds her hands in her lap. "No," she says, "I have to use the bathroom."
Caleb pinches the bridge of his nose as not-Beau bites back a giggle. “Ja, okay, go.”
“Don’t let her go!” not-Veth interjects. “She knew it was almost time for class; she should have gone earlier.”
“Dude, if she has to pee then she has to pee,” not-Beau protests.
Pointedly, not-Essek raises his hand.
Caleb lets himself sigh with relief. “Ja, Master…?”
“Gross, Professor, we don’t need to know about your weird sex dynamics,” not-Beau says.
Not-Essek’s face blooms red, and Caleb presses a hand to his face to hide the same. “You know very well, Beauregard, that it is an honorific.”
Not-Beau shrugs, looking very pleased with herself as she takes another sip of her drink. Not-Essek glares very polite daggers at her before clearing his throat.
“Thelyss,” he answers.
Beau cups both hands around her mouth and boos.
“No, it’s better that he’s honest,” Veth says. “We already know he’s a terrible actor.”
“Herr Thelyss,” Caleb says, raising his voice above the heckling. “Do you have a question?”
Essek leans forward, resting his elbows on the table in a gesture that’s much too endearing. “I wondered what you will be teaching us today, Professor Widogast.”
Caleb tries not to dwell on the way the title hits differently on Essek’s voice, instead straightening up and waving one hand behind him. An illusory chalkboard appears in the air behind him to polite applause from Veth and Yasha. Back on track.
“Well, this is your first day,” he says. “So I know that - Beauregard, please remove your feet from the table - I know that most of your other teachers will be spending time going over the material that you will be covering this semester, but, ah…” What is he meant to be doing with his hands? They feel limp if they’re at his sides, but too formal behind his back and too awkward in front of him. Perhaps he should have a lectern? Somewhere to rest them, or shuffle with papers?
His gaze drifts back to his “students,” who all blink back at him expectantly. Essek inclines his head as though to prompt him on. He clasps his hands in front of his chest, hoping it will do for now.
“Right,” he continues. “Ja, so I thought we would take a look at something more practical to start. We will leave the reading for tomorrow; you have enough of that today.”
He waves his hands again, and behind him, a set of runes and diagrams appears on the chalkboard. Above it is written the word Prestidigitation.
“So, ah, partner up,” he orders. “Introduce yourselves. If there is someone on their own, a group of three is perfectly acceptable.”
“I call Miss Lionett,” Beau shouts, grabbing Yasha’s hand.
“Can I go to the bathroom, first?” Yasha asks.
Caleb gives her an incredulous look.
“I really do need to go,” she says.
He gestures towards the hallway, and she shuffles off. In the meantime, Veth and Essek scoot their chairs closer together. Caleb’s gaze lingers questioningly on Beau, who shakes her head.
“She’s not learning anything tonight, man. Go ahead.”
“Ja, okay,” he says distantly.
It feels silly, explaining the spell to this motley crew. Beau has leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, eyes glassy, clearly not paying an ounce of attention. Essek has produced a piece of paper upon which Veth occasionally scribbles, though the way he periodically nods approval at Caleb’s points betrays his own prior knowledge of the subject. After a few minutes, Yasha returns and attempts to take down notes of her own.
“Is everyone following along?” he asks after a while, knowing it’s a futile question.
“Yep,” Beau lies.
“Hmm.” Yasha hums.
“Perfectly,” Essek says.
“You’re doing amazing, sweetie,” Veth confirms with a wink.
He continues, running them through the various applications one by one. Beau gives him an occasional “uh huh” that he believes not one bit. At one point, he catches Essek take a passing glance at Veth’s paper, widen his eyes, and lean forward to murmur something to her. He isn’t sure he wants to know what that’s about.
“Let’s keep focused, please, everyone,” he reminds them.
Essek waves a hand to signal him to continue. Nothing too scandalous, then. He goes through the final few points, then comes to stop in front of the chalkboard, hands awkwardly clasped again.
“Okay, that is it,” he says. “You have as much time as you require to finish the spell, and when you are finished, I would like one person from each group to demonstrate.”
He gives the others a questioning look. It’s one of the points he’s most worried about. A way to take pressure off some of the slower students could just as easily be a way to unintentionally foster competition and resentment. But none of them objects, so he gives them another nod.
“I suppose we should skip the demonstration portion,” he mumbles.
“I can do it,” Yasha chirps. Without warning, she swings the massive greatsword from her back and sinks the tip into the table, making the others jump. “I made a small mark.”
Caleb covers his eyes with one hand. “Ja, will it go away in one hour?”
Yasha silently places her drink down over the indentation. Caleb sighs. It isn’t as though he has very many guests, anyway.
“I can probably swing producing an odor, for you,” Beau offers. “But I figure you probably don’t want that.”
He ignores her, and instead gives Essek a tight smile.
“Well, would my second group care to demonstrate?”
Beau jerks a thumb in Essek’s direction and fake-coughs to Yasha, “Teacher’s pet.”
Essek ignores her and sits back, fingers working in those little patterns he draws when something has piqued his curiosity. “I believe so,” he says, and nods to Veth.
Caleb raises his eyebrows as all eyes turn to Veth. Though Essek had the courtesy to leave her a halfling, her features and coloring are entirely different - but that wide smile as she stands and rubs both hands together would give her away, no matter the face it was set in. And as Beau swears under her breath, Yasha and Caleb look on wide-eyed, and Essek watches with a smirk, she pulls her hands apart to let loose a shower of sparks.
“You… learned the spell,” Caleb says numbly. He hadn’t imagined any of them were actually paying attention.
“It was an excellent lesson!” Veth replies.
As she takes her seat again, Beau and Yasha give her a smattering of stunned applause. Essek clears his throat pointedly.
“And I guess, maybe, Essek gave me one pointer,” Veth amends with an eye-roll.
“Hey, so your partner system worked,” Yasha points out.
It had. The lesson had worked, the procedure had worked - his teaching had worked. There’s still a little voice in his head reminding him that Veth is brilliant, and an adult, and perfectly capable of learning things like this without even so much as his help - but he can’t deny that it’s his guidance that taught her this particular spell. ‘An excellent lesson,’ Veth had said. In this moment, he’s inclined to believe it might be half true. Caleb realizes very suddenly that he’s beaming.
With a snap of his fingers, Essek dispels the disguises. The soft smile on his face - his real face, and Caleb always misses it dearly when it’s hidden - says he hasn’t failed to notice Caleb’s relief.
“Danke, all of you,” he says sheepishly, waving a hand to vanish the chalkboard.
“Thank you!” Veth says. “For the shiny new spell and for the masterclass in professoring.”
“You were really good,” Yasha agrees. “I’m, uh... I’m sorry about the table.”
He dips his head to hide the way his face is flushing. They exaggerate, the lot of them. But there is something to be said for having friends who will say such things. “Ja, well,” he says, “I am not convinced it will translate to an actual class, but I will hope.”
Beau takes another swig of her drink, wiping her mouth afterwards. “Dude, we were the worst and you still managed to teach somebody something,” she says. “Those kids have nothing on us. You got this.”
He offers her a smile, retrieving his glass from the table as Yasha, Veth, and Essek do the same. He hopes it’s true. He hopes that, separate entirely from his ability to teach them the how of magic, he will be able to keep them safe. That he will be able to keep from passing on any damage he received in his own time in those halls.
He catches Essek’s eye, and the knowing look there puts some of the anxious buzzing to rest. He will be better. He will struggle, most likely. He will stumble, inevitably. But he will give better than he got. He’s been practicing that part for years.
“To Professor Widogast!” Veth shouts, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“Professor Widogast,” the others echo, and Caleb smiles.
“To my very good friends,” he replies.
“To the hottest professor the Soltryce Academy has ever seen,” Veth shouts in response, and Caleb nearly chokes on his drink when Essek casually clinks his glass against hers with a nod.
They drink together. Caleb thinks, just a little bit, he might be excited.
-
thanks @peregrintook for reading this over and telling me it wasn't the worst thing i had ever written (in much more generous words than that), and @saturdaysky for catching me red-handed last time i deleted it and being so kind about it 💜
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notesanddreams · 3 years
Text
Gaster’s Motif Throughout Chapter 2
I’ve been long overdue for some Deltarune musical analysis, and I’m pleased to present my findings for Gaster’s motif and its appearances in chapter 2. If you haven’t read my analysis on chapter 1, you can find that right here if you’re interested. Before we get started, I would just like to remind everyone to not take these things too seriously; music is filled with silly little coincidences all the time, and the presence of a similar melody doesn’t always mean that a character/scene is connected to our favorite mystery man. I am a simple music nerd presenting his findings. With that said, let’s jump right back into it!
What is Gaster’s Motif?
If you haven’t read my chapter 1 analysis or simply need a refresher, Gaster’s motif is derived from the music file “mus_st_him.ogg”, otherwise known as Gaster’s Theme. The transcription reads as follows:
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If you’ll remember from last time, we decided to define Gaster’s motif as simply “starting tone” -> up a minor second (half step) -> up a perfect fifth. 
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In chapter 1 this motif appears all over the place, from the starting track of Another Him, to the ending track of Don’t Forget. I find it very suspicious. But I’m pleased to report that chapter 2′s OST is STILL chock-full of this mysterious motif.
The Noelle Connection?
This was the first time I noticed the motif making a comeback. In the track “Girl Next Door” we’re introduced to what we would probably consider Noelle’s theme for the first time. It’s an adorably cute track, but what’s this I hear? A mere 17 seconds into the track you can hear the bass come in with same sequence as described above: up minor second -> up perfect fifth. D Eb Bb.
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(I’ve marked the notes in question in red to make it easier for you)
We can hear it once again on the second phrase at the 0:28 mark.
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If that wasn’t enough for one track, Toby introduces it AGAIN in the main melody on the synth bells at the 0:38 mark.
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So now we have a strange situation here that we didn’t necessarily encounter in chapter 1, right? The Gaster’s sequence is... INSIDE another character’s motif. And the above melody is DEFINITELY one of her motifs, because we encounter it in (almost) every track associated with her.
The opening bars of Lost Girl? Check.
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Ferris wheel at the 0:19 mark? Check.
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I say this complicates things a bit because, well...
It’s in Queen’s motif as well.
The Queen Connection?
The sequence appears right off the bat in the track named Queen, in the harpsichord melody.
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Welly well well. This puts pressure on me because Queen’s motif appears in at least NINE tracks that I counted. You guys aren’t gonna make me do all that transcribing that’s essentially the same melody, right? No, sorry, I’ll just list the songs and the timecodes that the motif appears.
Queen: 0:00, 0:09
A Simple Diversion: 0:00, 0:14
Smart Race: 0:01, 0:07
Cool Mixtape: 0:00
Elegant Entrance: 0:00, 0:19 
Pandora Palace: 0:20, 0:30
Attack of the Killer Queen: 0:00, 0:13
Giga Size: 0:30, 0:46
Knock You Down (Kinda): 0:09, 0:59 (It’s Queen’s motif but it uses a major 2nd and major 6th instead of a minor 2nd major 5th)
The Secret Bosses Connection
If you’ll remember from my chapter 1 post, we discovered that Jevil’s theme(s) also contains Gaster’s motif. A lot. Upon hearing some of the tracks associated with Spamton, however, I find myself coming to the conclusion that this is instead a motif dedicated to secret bosses. At the 0:54 mark in Big Shot, it’s pretty undeniable that this is the same melody used in The World Revolving.
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Dialtone also bears resemblance to the bridge section of The World Revolving, and once again utilizes Gaster’s motif.
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(Please bear in mind that the keyboard in Dialtone is detuned roughly a quarter step)
Knowing this now, we may be able to assume that every future secret boss will use this theme, which also strangely uses Gaster’s motif. Won’t be able to confirm this until the next release, however.
Lastly, the City
As the city of Cyber World looms in the distance, we’re greeted with an upbeat track named “A Cyber’s World?” But did you hear anything in the melody at the 0:32 mark? 
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The melody returns in Welcome to the City at the 0:12 mark.
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And Just a Small Bonus
I thought this was kinda cool, but not really mega noteworthy. The sound effect that plays when you enter the castle town each time? It’s called snd_him_quick. What’s cool is it’s the same chord heard in the choir part of Another Him.
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^ snd_him_quick
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^ Choir part from Another Him.
They are simply chordioids made up of root, minor 6th, octave.
Interesting. Very interesting.
Conclusions
Gaster’s motif can be part of OTHER CHARACTER’S motifs. A Queen and Noelle connection could be very possible. There’s almost DEFINITELY a connection between the secret bosses and Gaster’s motif. Maybe a connection between Gaster and Cyber World? Who knows. And finally, the chord from Another Him could be something to look out for in future OSTs. Do with this information what you will. Have fun!
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shingia · 3 years
Note
hopefullyy this inspires u to write,,, can i request hc's of the boys getting jealous seeing their s/o work well with another person on a team/club? like good chemistry with a dance partner for example! (u can choose who u write but can it include iwa!!) <33
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✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS SEEING YOU WORK WELL WITH ANOTHER PERSON ✗
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a/n : kdjfkdjdkdj i love this request omg ty ! i did half hc/half scenarios bc i thought the request fitted this format <3
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-> iwaizumi, osamu, kuroo, suna, tsukishima
-> warnings : kuroo’s a bit suggestive (tbh i don’t know about the rest. it’s just... kinda hot? (tsukki’s only fluff tho<3))
-> reblogs are >>>>
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— IWAIZUMI
• iwa’s jealousy was practically non existent until he actually saw you interact with your partner
• don’t get me wrong, he absolutely loves your smile - but he especially loves to be the one who caused it
• he tends to get physically very protective of you, so expect his arm to stay wrapped around your shoulders most of the time. because to him it’s the easiest way to show the world (but especially your partner) that you’re his
• he also not-so-subtly offers you to wear his clothes on days when you have practice. and he secretly hopes that someone will ask you who they belong to...
« it’s cold outside. you should wear this ». iwa’s low and unannounced voice makes you turn around in surprise. leaned against the bathroom’s doorframe, he’s holding your favorite jacket in his hand - the one with his name written on the back, and you suspect that this might not be a coincidence... with a chuckle, you agree to put it on, noticing the proud spark in his eyes. « you know, i’m pretty sure everyone already knows i’m dating you » you tease him with a wink, all while also admiring the way his name takes up the whole width of your back. « oh yeah ? » he asks, a smirk tugging at his lips as he leans forward to rest his hands on the sink behind you. trapped between his outstretched arms, you watch his smirk grow just a little bit bigger as he lets out, very quietly, « well this is just a reminder... it better be the last ». his green eyes locked with yours could almost make you forget about his arm snaking around your waist at a painfully slow pace. almost.
— OSAMU
• look, he’s very happy for you. no doubt about it. but he’s so used to see people fawn over his brother that he can’t help but get a little protective from time to time
• since gifts are his #1 love language, he might buy you a workout-friendly piece of jewelry that you can wear during your practice
• he also insists on dropping you off and picking you up as often as his busy schedule allows it. especially since he learned that your partner was willing to give you a ride home...
• it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, obviously. he just doesn’t trust them yet
• and that’s why his kisses - and pda in general - are a bit more « intense » than usual
leg bouncing up and down, osamu is (very) anxiously for your conversation with your teammate to end. because after watching the entirety of your practice, he needs a little reminder that you two also have incredible chemistry together... a better one, even. so as soon as he sees you wave your teammate goodbye, he stands up straight, arms open just wide enough to welcome you against his chest. but instead of the chaste kiss you expected to get, you’re actually greeted by his left hand grabbing your sides while his right meets your lower back. disconcerted, you don’t even have time to say a word that his mouth crashes onto yours so eagerly that you have to lean back a few inches. « wh-what was that for ? » you pant as soon as his warm lips have left yours. « nothing. i love ya, that’s all » he smiles innocently, glad that you didn’t notice the cocky look he just gave your teammate who witnessed everything from afar... exactly as planned.
— KUROO
• passive agressive™️
• he would insist on properly meeting your partner but oh god they better brace themselves,,,
• because kuroo’s the kind of boyfriend that will shake their hand hard enough to make them yelp, all while having an angelic smile plastered on his face
• oh and you can forget being called by your name : he’s going to demonstrate the entire variety of nicknames he has for you. he might even come up with new ones just because he’s feeling « inspired »
• every single thing he says to your partner has to be a reminder that you two are dating. like « oh yeah they told me about this yesterday.. during our date ». just to make sure that there’s no misunderstanding.
« well... speak of the devil », kuroo hears you chuckle, your voice almost drowned out by his heavy breathing. he’s obviously planing on apologizing for being late... but not now. there’s something he wants to do first. still very aware of your partner’s presence right in front of you, he decides to securely yet eagerly wrap his arms around your waist before spinning you around proudly. « so... you guys were talking about me ? » he asks, glad to know that he’s the reason behind your giggles. « we were, actually » you answer a bit more seriously as he finally puts you down, still keeping both his hands on your waist. « well, i am your boyfriend after all... » he starts, interrupting himself to place a loud peck on your jawline. the only thing you can think is about is how awful this situation must be for your partner... kuroo, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered at all, as shown by the way one of his hands discreetly makes its way under the fabric of your t-shirt to rest directly on your skin. « hands off, kuroo » you order him with a slap on the back of his hand. an offended gasp leaves his lips, yet he complies reluctantly, thinking that your partner probably already knows everything that needs to be known about him.
— SUNA
• he doesn’t really mind it... as long as you’re willing to cuddle once you get back from practice. if you’re not, then he’s gonna start to worry
• because cuddling is probably his favorite ‘boyfriend privilege’ and he doesn’t want it to be taken away from him
• his schedule is pretty tight so he might not be able to attend any of your practices, but he asks you to record it as much as you possibly can so that he can watch the videos with you afterwards
• and seeing how smoothly you and your partner move together definitely doesn’t help with his worrying
it’s been thirty minutes now, and suna’s still not done watching the videos you took today. he loves to share these moments with you, snuggled up against each other the bed ; but most importantly, he has someone to keep his eye on... « babe- are you 100% sure that this was part of the choreography? » he suddenly speaks up, his eyes leaving the screen for the first time. you quirk a curious eyebrow, more surprised by his unusually suspicious tone rather than by the question itself. « oh, the hand on my waist ? yes, rin. it was ». at your words, his lips press into a thin line, he’s obviously far from being convinced. but you know your boyfriend well and you’re quick to reassure him : « you know, his hand might have been on my waist but you’re the one laying in my bed right now ». the frown on his face disappears almost immediately - much faster than you would’ve thought, replaced by a much more confident expression as his hands start to gently stroke your sides up and down. « mmh, i guess you’re right.... i mean, at the end of the day, only i get to have ‘all of this’ for myself » he smirks, playfully eyeing you up and down until he can’t resist the temptation of your slightly parted lips anymore.
— TSUKISHIMA
• tsukki’s not jealous, he’s just... well.. cautious. or at least that’s what he tells you
• but, deep down, he knows that simple cautiousness wouldn’t make spend his days and nights stressing about this new partner of yours...
• so, after a few weeks, his impassible facade starts to crumble a little bit. nothing too extreme, but just enough to let your partner know that you’re taken.
• and he knows he doesn’t need to do much : one of his signature scornful looks is more than enough. especially when he’s staring at your partner dead in the eyes while you’re greeting him with a hug and a kiss after your practice
« tsukishima kei, i’m waiting for an explanation ». with a sigh, your boyfriend drops his book on the table, turning his chair around to face you. « i don’t have one, i already told you. you told me to introduce myself, and i did. end of story ». you both know that tsukki did not just ‘introduce himself’ like any other human being would have done. and that’s precisely what you’re trying to make him admit - because your partner looked genuinely scared during practice today. « wha- no, i didn’t look down on him. it’s not my fault he’s so short... » he mumbles under his breath, trying his best to avoid any eye contact with you. but you know that only a slight tilt of his chin upwards is enough to make his eyes lock with yours - and that this is enough to have him admit anything. « you’re jealous, kei. and it’s painfully obvious by the way... » you smirk - but this smirk disappears in a split second as he slowly gets up from his chair, towering over you like he usually does. « ok, maybe i am. but i just wanted to make sure that he knew his place. and especially mine » he finally admits, his lips spreading in a scornful smirk that would be terrifying if his eyes weren’t filled with the infinite tenderness he has always felt for you.
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✔️taglist : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @mochi-marie @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac
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nojey · 3 years
Text
reminiscing (fans 2)
dreamwastaken x streamer!reader
genre: angst pronouns: they / them word count: 2.1k warning(s): failed relationship, cursing
fans (part 1)
synopsis: after taking 6 months off from social media, you finally explain to your fans why you took so long and why you needed it.
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go live. *click*
you watched as your chat strolled in and viewer count go up. your computer screen illuminating your face in the dark room as your webcam caught the nervous look. you were shaking your leg up and down, a habit you caught whenever you tried to calm yourself down. 
“hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last stream, huh?” you dryly chuckled. “it’s been about.. 6 months since i last streamed and at this point i think i’ve taken enough time to correctly word how i’m going to tell everyone why i decided to take a break from streaming.” you said looking down at the ground and fiddling with your fingers.
“uh, donation notifications will be off for this stream and chat will be on emotes only because i really just want to focus on getting this out. but if you plan on donating, thank you so much, really, it means the world to me.” you said finally looking at your webcam and smiling a bit. you read a chat and answer, “yes, i’m doing okay. i just have a big announcement i want to say after i tell you guys why i took a break.”
you took a deep breath in and started. “ over a year ago, almost 2, i met this guy through a friend and we started talking. it was very little at the beginning but as little as it was, his texts always made me smile.” you scratched the back of your neck. “and as time went on, we started talking more and more and he just became part of my daily routine. when i woke up i’d see a good morning text from him, we’d spend most of our day being on the phone with each other, i was even on facetime with him most of my streams but i had an airpod under my headset so you couldn’t really see it, i almost always fell asleep on facetime with him. i really fell for this guy.” you fondly smiled, looking at your desk, where your phone used to be propped up and you would see clays face just looking at you.
“then we started streaming together. ‘omg he’s a streamer too’ yeah, and a lot of you probably know who i’m talking about at this point but i still won’t disclose who it is. i uh, got a lot of messages from you guys telling me that i looked super happy that stream and i was. i was always happy when i talked to him. but along with those messages i also got a lot of hate, telling me to stay away from him. it didn’t really bother me because i always get hate when i stream with my guy friends; i was used to it.” you said, taking a sip from your water then wiping the side of your eye as it teared up. 
“and today... i’ll be going on the dream smp! with the man himself, dream. dream, say hi now.” you introduced, you waited a few seconds but was only met with silence. you grabbed your phone and sent him a voice message, “clay! you’re on deafen! introduce yourself!” you screamed into your phone. dream then took himself off deafen and said. “hi (y/s/n)’s chat! i’m dream, i’ll be showing (y/n) around the smp today and we’re gonna get started on their house.” you smiled fondly when you heard him speak. “yeah! what dream said!” 
so you both logged into the dream smp, said hi to sapnap, and dream gave you a tour. you then started building your house in a forest, quite far from everyone else, “i don’t want anyone bothering you or ruining your house when you’re not on.” he explained. you told dream you wanted to build a cottage so if anyone does end up stumbling upon it, it looks welcoming to them. so dream started building your house for you even though you insisted you do it together. “dream! let me help, this is supposed to be my house.” you dragged. “well we can both decorate inside and make it our house.” you started blushing. “i guess..” you mumbled. you then started adventuring out to look for flowers and some things to decorate the house with.
you started placing flowers down into flower pots when you noticed something. “dream there’s only one bedroom.” you mentioned. he slowly turned around to look at you and quickly turned back and placed two beds next to each other. “this is our room, dumbass.”
later that night you checked your twitter dms and saw many people telling you to stop talking to dream and that you weren’t good enough to even know him. you sighed and powered down your phone.
“i think a few weeks after that he asked me if i could fly out to him and we’d meet in person. i was so excited i immediately started packing and i met him. it was amazing! i got to meet the guy i’ve been in love with for the past few months. i think it may have been a year already. but yeah, i finally got to meet him and being in his arms was the best feeling in the world, i felt so safe being with him.”
“it was the day after that, when he asked me on a date and i, of course, said yes. like who would say no to the person they fell in love with... so we went on a date and at the end of it we were just sitting on top of the hood of the car, eating dinner, watching the sunset and talking about a future we wanted together. and it may seem like we were moving fast but i knew 7 months into talking to him that he felt the same way about me. no matter if either of us disclosed it. i could tell and i knew he knew the same about me. then i went home and everything was perfect, i wasn’t his girlfriend yet though because we wanted to wait a bit.”
“that’s when everything went downhill, i think” you looked up to try to stop the tears from going down your face, but they fell anyways so you just let it be.
“we started streaming more and more and i started getting more hate than i usually got, this time getting death threats, people threatening to leak my address if i didn’t stop being friends with him. it was crazy but i was willing to endure it all for him. who cares what people on the internet are going to say to me? i really didn’t because i was happy enough with him that, that happiness overcame whatever type of hate i was getting.” tears kept falling from your eyes but you didn’t bother to wipe it, knowing it would just keep happening.
“dude you’re so annoying! you definitely cheated!” you screamed as you died. through your headset you could hear clay wheezing. “there was no way i was cheating!” he said through his laughs. “ask my chat, they saw the whole thing.” you breathed out, not wanting to believe him till a dono was sent to you, “yeah, (y/n) you just suck at this game,” you gasped, your jaw hanging then you started pouting. it was clipped and one of your viewers sent it to dream. he suddenly started laughing harder and you asked him why he was laughing, with a pout still on your face. “even your chat knows i didn’t cheat!” you started laughing too, till you read a message in the chat saying, “ew, their laugh is ugly. i don’t know why dream likes them.” you stopped laughing but kept a fake smile on your face.
“then he called me and he told me that he didn’t think we should be dating anymore, or even be friends. and i think it was because he saw the hate i was getting and he didn’t like that. he told me a different reason as to why he didn’t think we should date anymore but i didn’t believe it, but i let him go. because i was not going to force him to be with me if he really did mean it. “ you said, sniffling after so you didn’t sound too congested as you spoke.
after you hung up, you curled into a ball and cried. you cried, and cried, and cried. the feeling in your chest hurting more than you could ever imagine. you just lost the guy you wanted to marry, the guy you had spent over a year going to because of your problems, the guys you saw having kids with, the guy that made everything worth it. he was the only person on your mind as the pain in your chest grew. you tweeted and powered your phone off straight after. you didn’t want anyone messaging you asking what was wrong, knowing your friends they would do that. 
“so the reason i took a break from streaming was because of that. because i resented the people that sent me hate so much i couldn’t bring myself to stream. i didn’t resent them because they sent me hate. i resent them because the hate they sent me caused the guy i really wanted to be with to make me believe he didn’t love me like i love him.” now, you were sobbing, letting your cry’s out because you had been holding them in for too long. 
it had been a few months and you were on snapchat, seeing that you had a memory a year ago today, you checked it. “i think i literally met my soulmate.” with a picture of you and clay in a discord call. your breath got caught in your throat and your breathing became labored. your eyes started stinging as the tears started falling. it’s happening again, all the pain from the day you stopped talking to him came back and once again, you were crying into your hands and you couldn’t stop.
“i had always known that becoming a streamer i would get hate, but i never thought that i would get enough hate to prevent a relationship i really wanted to work. now all i do is reminisce of a guy i wish could be mine”
“streaming has brought me so many opportunities and i am so grateful for everything you guys have done for me, and for me to be able to do something i love and make money from it is insane to me. you guys have given me everything i ever wanted in life up until that point and i am so grateful and appreciative of that. you guys gave me friendships that i will never lose and never forget. so many of you have told me that i’ve saved you and changed your lives but trust me when i say you guys have saved me and changed my life too. i hope i repaid you back by making you smile, being your comfort streamer, and being a support system for each of you. but i think this is my end of the road. i fucking love streaming, i love you guys. but every time i click that “go live” button or even try to, all i think about is him and that’s too painful for me right now. maybe in the future i’ll find my way back here but i can’t promise that.”
“thank you guys, so, so, so, so, much for every single opportunity given to me, for everything. i love you all. my dms are still open. and this was (y/s/n), signing off for possibly the last time. goodbye everyone.”
end stream. *click*
a tear rolling down his face and falling onto his keyboard as he watched you finally say goodbye to your stream. it all just felt like you were saying your last goodbye to him again. 
for the last 6 months all clay could do was think about you and how he wished he just messaged you and told you he was sorry and didn’t mean what he said. that he misses you and he would quit streaming if that meant he could be with you. that all he wanted was to feel you in his arms again and just live out the future you two planned together. 
but if you just said goodbye to your chat for your last stream because you couldn’t stand the thought of him whenever you tried to stream. how could you ever forgive him?
the thought of never speaking to you hit him once more and again, he cried, sobbed, screamed, threw things, and even then, he knew.. you would never be coming back to him, with every fiber in his being, wishing you would.
—————
taglist: @loxbbg @bozowrites @noahsfag @sparklykeylime @bi-narystars @axths @cheybaee @letsloveimagines @meatte @julesamen21 @classyunknownlover @bad268 @strawbrinkofdeath
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shurisneakers · 3 years
Text
shut in [epilogue]
Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)
Warnings: anxiety, ptsd, swearing
Word count: 4k
A/N: annnnd we’re done :)) thank you to my resident bully @midnightsunfae for really getting this fic off the ground and helping with the planning. ily upo and thank you to everyone who’s read this series over the 5 months it’s been going on. it’s meant the absolute world to me :’)
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Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist
Your fingers tapped rhythmically against the table, an indicator of the nervousness that was building to a crescendo in your chest.
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” he asked, hand placed gently on your forearm.
You nodded, eyes downcast. If you looked at him, you wouldn’t be able to find it in yourself to follow through with it.
“I am,” you said quietly, swallowing to get rid of the lump in your throat.
“Okay,” he confirmed, letting his arm drop gently.
Ten minutes to go. You took a sip of water nervously. The glass had already found itself shifting back and forth on the table in search of the perfect place. It was a fruitless quest anyway.
The door was painted a dark green, steps leading up to it from the pavement.
“Are you sure he won’t mind?” you asked quietly, standing a stair below him in apprehension. Neither of you had contacted him or sent a message, just showed up at his place exhausted and covered in a thin layer of dirt.
“I know he won’t.” Sam raised his fist to knock thrice, a pause before knocking two more times.
A code.
He turned around slightly, checking to see if you were fine. The longer you stood out there, the more afraid you were of someone spotting the both of you, putting an end to your life before it even began. You had a feeling that paranoia would continue for a long time.
The door swung open, revealing a tall man with blonde hair leaning against the doorway with one arm. There was a nick above his eyebrow, an old scar that hadn’t faded over time. Even though his other hand was concealed behind the door, you could tell that he was holding something by the way his muscles were clenched. Years of training wouldn’t disappear overnight.
"Sam." Surprise overtook his face in a second. "You're alive."
"Don't sound so happy, I can't handle it." Sam rolled his eyes, an affectionate smile on his face. "This is Y/N, we need a place to stay."
“It’s just been a while since I heard from you, man. Coming from a hit?” Riley didn’t think twice about moving aside, scrutinising dried blood on your person as you walk past. “Nice to meet you, I’m Riley.”
It was a cane in his hand. Sam’s mention of his limp flashed in your mind.
You gave him a small wave and a quiet re-introduction of yourself, following Sam into the house.
“You could say that.” Sam paused, a hand on Riley’s shoulder as he says something out of your ear shot to him.
Riley’s face turned stoic immediately, a nod of his head and a deep exhale soon following. “Stay as long as you need.”
“Thank you.” You pressed your lips together in a straight line with a corner quirked upwards, a half smile of sorts.
“Bathroom’s down the hall, to the right.” He pointed out the direction. “I’m getting you some food. Gumbo still your thing, Wilson?”
“Anything other than peanut butter.”
Riley was a blessing you could have never prepared for; knowing exactly what you both would need and anticipating emotions you had no idea you’d be feeling. For someone who had guests show up completely uninvited to crash on his couch, he was ready as ever, given that he had been through the same thing a while ago.
It was difficult. Fuck that, it was one of the hardest things to go; not pretending like everything around you would fall into soon and that you would be fine because you had to. You had worked too damn hard for you not to be.
But you knew things weren’t going to be fine right off the bat and it would be foolish to think it was.
“Sam, look at me,” you commanded gently, but there was an edge of firmness to your tone. You were sitting on the bench near the entrance of the park.
“I’m sorry, things were going good and I thought-” He shook his face that was hiding in his palm, elbows resting on his knees.
His attacks didn’t come nearly as frequently as yours. It was easy to think that he had no trauma just because he learnt how to deal with it better.
“Look at me, Sammy.” It was just a walk in the park, a stroll that should have lasted twenty minutes tops. You had been on that trail before for the same purpose but something triggered him today, someone’s gaze who lingered too long on the both of you.
He clenched his fists, lifting his head to meet your gaze.
“Breathe with me.” You exaggerated the movements to have him follow, a system the both of you had come up with when anxiety attacks used to hit at random. A temporary solution to an aftermath that would go on for hours, days even.
It took him a few staggered breaths to get there, finally falling into routine with you. He could feel his heartbeat slow to what it was but the pit in his stomach wouldn’t subside for a while.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”
“You have nothing to apologise for,” you reassured, still making sure he was breathing with you. You were nervous too and your eyes were still darting about to survey your surroundings, but he needed you at that moment. “We’re safe. We’re okay.”
“No one’s here,” he mumbles, interlacing your fingers and bringing it to his forehead to lean against your hand.
“We’re okay,” you repeated, giving him the space he needed. “We’re okay.”
“Will someone be joining you?” The waiter prodded softly. If it wasn’t your incessant tapping at the table, the clammy palms and constant checking of your watch was a clear giveaway that you could use a bit of kindness that day.
“Yeah, any minute now.” You smiled at her. She simply nodded, refilling your glass of water before leaving you alone.
You looked at your watch and sighed.
Seven minutes.
Things were fine. Things were good.
Sam and you were… undefined. Labels almost seemed too constrictive for now and it wasn’t like the both of you didn’t know what the other felt. It was kind. It was soft. Sometimes you kissed his cheek when the sunlight bounced off his face while he watered the succulents and the smile he gave you was addictive. Other times he snaked an arm around your waist and leaned his head on your shoulder while you watched the street from the kitchen window.
It made you happy, and so you tried to force away the stem of doubt that creeped into your heart.
Riley had introduced the concept of movie nights and the occasional mob movie would make it in there just to poke fun at. He showed you around the city, inviting you to go grocery shopping with him at the farmers market, the best places to get a glimpse of the music scene or to subtly point out potential date night spots.
He was a genuinely nice guy, and if you thought Sam was fun to hang out with, you were not prepared for the both of them together. You could tell why Sam adored him.
“Y/N, I don’t know how you stayed with him for all that time and didn’t murder him in his sleep.” Riley glared at Sam who had once again left his collection of music CDs strewn around on a couch. It was all in jest; it was well known that Sam found an anchor in music that kept him up late at night for a sense of calm.
“It was a close call sometimes,” you added playfully, giving Sam a grin.
“You weren’t exactly easy to survive with either.” He scoffed. “How many times did we watch Megamind in a row? Eight?”
“You wouldn’t stop watching Die Hard,” you accused, arms crossed over your chest. “It was payback.”
“You made the rule saying we couldn’t watch things more than twice in a row and you broke it first.”
“I’m gonna go,” Riley interjected. “But y’all keep at this. I heard it’s good for your soul.”
“Stay there,” Sam demanded, pointing to where he was standing a second ago. “You’re gonna be play judge since you started this shit.”
“I really don’t want to.” He shook his head, staying put nonetheless, amusement clear as day on his face.
“The laundry.”
“The dishes.”
You both narrowed your eyes at each other. His argument didn’t hold a match to yours.
“You know what, I was wrong,” Riley announced to no one in particular. “I’m pretty sure you guys would kill each other under any other circumstance.”
The smile on your face faltered but you straightened it back out with a clearing of your throat before firing a comeback.
It was barely a second, almost unnoticeable. But Sam caught it.
Four minutes.
Almost time.
The tapping became more intense, and the rate at which you pulled out your phone to check the time increased.
Fuck, this was a bad idea. How were you supposed to behave with him after all this time?
Something was wrong. Something was off.
Sam wasn’t blind to it. He could see it under the smile you eased into at game night, the complaining when too much food was ordered for three people to eat, the good natured teasing when he rolled over to your side of the bed at night to steal your blanket.
Something was eating at you, gnawing at you from the inside.
His suspicion was confirmed when you whispered at 2am one night to what you thought was an asleep partner that you wanted to move out. Find a place of your own.
His stomach dropped instantly but he didn’t so much as move a muscle.
“I need to get out. I need to have a life,” you sniffed, doing your best not to wake him up as you traced circles into his skin lightly. “I don’t know what it’s like to be independent. I won’t know unless I figure it out myself.”
The air had a chill to it and it was one of the times you had asked him to sleep in the guest bedroom with you instead of on his own, knowing that it was one of those nights where you could use a little extra warmth.
“Even when we were in there I couldn’t stop thinking about whether this thing between us was just because we were forced to stay together. You said it wasn’t, and I know that but I can’t help but think-” Your voice cracked. “Would you come back to me if things were different?”
He didn’t answer, even though he knew what he wanted to say with all the certainty in the world. Your fingers continued to draw on his skin. He continued to let you.
Sam didn’t even bring up the conversation that morning, or that week. Instead, he held you a bit closer whenever he could and gave you the space to hopefully open up to him on your own time, letting you know that he’d be there to listen.
It took a while. You both were in the middle of watching a movie that wasn’t Die Hard when you told him that you needed to talk to him about something. The hesitancy in your voice and the fixation your fingers had with the hem of your sweater was painful to witness.
He understood, of course. He always did. That you needed to experience what it was like to live, not survive. That decades of living with other kids, living under an abuser, living in a safehouse for months, was restrictive and suffocating and you needed to find what made you happy.
And so did he. It was something both of you had to do eventually, exit the bubble you had been staying in under such ardent protection for those two months.
Riley was wonderfully supportive of it, vowing to find you the best apartment that New Orleans had to offer. You didn’t doubt it.
His place had been colourful and bright and everything you could have asked for after the monotone walls you were used to. But it wasn’t yours.
A few weeks later you had moved out. Sam left a lingering kiss on your forehead, a sign to say that he’d be here whenever, whatever.
You made a Shakira joke. He laughed.
A completely fresh new start. If you failed now, it was all on you.
And what a terrifying thought that was.
It had been four months since you had left Riley’s apartment behind.
Four months since you had seen either of them.
The cafe was starting to feel too small for this event. Too intimate, too-
When the bell above the cafe chimes, something at the back of your mind instantly wakes up, sending you on high alert.
“Y/N?” he called out from behind you.
You knew he’d be early.
“Sam.” You breathed out, standing up to face him.
Video calls didn’t do him any justice. He had a particular glow to him, an aura of confidence that wasn’t there the last time you saw him. His beard was neatly trimmed and the smile that tugged at his lips the minute you caught his eye was beautiful.
You didn’t realise how different he looked until the time apart. Months of makeshift workouts and peanut butter as your only source of protein had done a number on him. You remembered him being leaner, and what you now realised was the constant burden of fatigue on his face.
“You look good.” An understatement escaped you, but he did.
He had a deep blue shirt on that hugged him in all the right places. Months of seeing him only black and grey had you damn near drooling when he wore other colours after you got out.
Not that you were staring, but his biceps had definitely made a wonderful return.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” Sam sent you a smile that instantly put you at ease. “Independence looks good on you, sweetheart.”
You gave a small laugh, gesturing for him to take a seat. Should you have hugged him? Shook his hand? Kissed hi-
“It’s been a while,” he politely interrupted your overthinking. “How are things going?”
You let out a small breath. It was a big question, one that you had answered over text and call a few times but it was different now. He was in front of you now and you couldn’t bullshit the way you used to on call occasionally.
“Weird,” you admitted. “I don’t know what to do with myself now that I have all this time.”
“It takes some gettin’ used to.” He nodded in agreement, leaning back in his chair.
A lot of your time went into trying new hobbies. Knitting, pottery, drawing- anything that you could get your hands on. Things didn’t always catch on, some discarded just after the first week. Others stuck, bringing you bits of triumph every time you moved forward with your newfound skill.
“You still seein’ your therapist?” He flashed a smile at the waitress who filled his glass of water.
Ah, yes. Dr. Bishop had been one of the first people you sought out.
“Yeah.” You took a sip of water. “See her weekly.”
You still had money left over from all the hit jobs that you had done. As much as you wanted to leave every inkling of that life behind, you needed the cash to live. You had enough for the time being, but you knew that eventually you had to start working; if not for the money then for the peace of mind.
“How’s that goin’?”
“She thinks I talk in elaborate metaphors. The gang’s what I call my toxic family, he was my abusive father, stuff like that.”
There were moments where you thought you saw someone you knew standing at a corner, vendors giving you icy looks from across the street, footsteps outside your door that seemed too damn loud. But nothing ever came of it.
“Thanks for the tip, by the way.” You extended a smile to him in appreciation for the idea.
“Worked with my therapist, figured it would be the same with yours.” He shrugged casually. It wasn’t like you wanted to lie to her, and you weren’t. But some things were better left in the dark.
“But I think it’s helping.” You exhaled deeply, eyes downcast. “The nightmares are reducing.”
“That’s a lot of progress.” The corner of his mouth quirked upward in pride.
Several feelings erupted from that look, some that you’d spend the whole day revelling in if you didn’t force yourself to move on.
“How about you?” you diverted the subject back to him. “How’s Riley?”
“He says he misses ya.” Sam laughed. “Says he can’t handle me alone, that he needs you back to save him.”
“What have you been doing to that poor man?” you teased, easing back into your seat. “He was fine when I left him.”
“He’s got a fancy new job now and it’s been going to his head. Needed a little humbling.”
“You’re not going too hard on him, are you?” Even though you knew he wasn’t, it was fun to make sure.
“Nah, I’d say it’s just about the right amount.” Sam grinned and you felt the familiar flutter return to your stomach. “I’ve been doing good. Working on getting my license.”
“Oh yeah, how’s that going?” You were thrilled when he said he was going to look into becoming a youth counselor, knowing that it was something he had been genuinely wanting to do for ages.
“With my background, or lack of it, it’s a little trickier than I thought it would be,” he divulges a bit more seriously. “Riley’s been pulling a few strings and I got a few contacts but it’s gonna take some more time.”
You bit your lip, worry rising for him. He deserved it, he earned it. It fucking sucked that it wasn’t going to be an easy, direct path.
“We’ll figure it out,” you said quietly, reaching out to intertwine your fingers with his in reassurance.
The contact brings with it a small spark. You wondered if he still felt it.
“Yeah. We will.” He sent you a soft smile at your action, not making any effort to move it. “You been on any dates lately?”
You let out a snort at that. “Loads. Have fellas lining up at every corner for me.”
“I bet.” He’s more bold, a bit more open than he was in the first month when you both got out. “How many of them do I have to fight off?”
“I’d say six as a rough estimate.” Your expression mimicked one of consideration. “I hope you’ve been getting your hours in at the gym.”
“I’ll kick it up a notch,” he promised, hands raised in surrender.
“You better. We’re supposed to go for laser-tag.” A dumb callback to a joke he made on one of your last days there.
“Or paintball.” He remembered. It made you unnecessarily giddy. “I added an escape room to the list too.”
“Hilarious,” you fired at him, rolling your eyes slightly but the happiness on your face proved otherwise.
His laughter died down eventually, paving the way for the comfortable silence that lingered between you both. Your eyes fell down to where your hand still held his, biting your lip to conceal a smile.
“Y/N,” he called out, pulling your gaze back to his. “Jokes aside… how are you?”
You let out a breath at his question. You knew it was coming.
“Riley found me an apartment,” you murmured.
Sam looked up from his phone. “Yeah?”
“It’s a nice place. Lots of sunlight. Quiet too.” You toyed with your fingers. “But it’s about an hour away. More if you consider traffic.”
Sam set his phone down gently on the bedside table, indicating that you had his full attention.
“I don’t want you to think I’m abandoning you, because I’m not. I wouldn’t, I just-”
“Hey,” he interrupted calmly, twisting his body to face you. “I don’t think you’re abandoning me. If this is what you need, then you should do it.”
“I don’t know if this is what I need. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’ve never been-” the frustration in your voice only increased as you went on. “-I don’t even know if this is going to work. What if I hate it?”
“Finding out what you hate is just as important as what you like, I think.” He watched you toy with the fidget square he had gotten you. “And you know that if you don’t feel like it, then you can come back here at any moment.”
“I know.” It was a comforting thought. A safety net.
“But would this make you happy?” That caught you by surprise.
It wasn’t something you had thought of. You thought of the negative consequences, the devastating effects it could have on you, how it could be the worst possible decision you’d ever make.
“I don’t know,” you mumbled, a new anxiety setting in. “I guess we’ll see.”
You liked the neighbours who played the piano way too loud at 2am, the really terrible coffee at the therapist’s office and the feeling the paper plane on your dresser gave you when you occasionally looked at it.
You didn’t like how hot the apartment could get, especially during the afternoon, or the guy who sold magazines down the street who cursed at everyone for no reason, or the gentrified Indian food they served at the mall.
But Sam was right. Figuring out what you didn’t like was just as beautiful a journey as figuring out what you did.
“I’m happy.” You breathed out. “Or I'm working towards being happy. But it’s there.”
He doesn’t say anything to that. Simply slipped his palm under yours to lift your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
“I’m proud of you.”
If anyone could feel the heat that rose to your face they would probably think you had a fever.
The fear that you had, the one of what things would be like if you weren’t forced to survive in a confined space together, had begun to fade the minute he called out your name that day.
It was Sam. Your Sam.
You shake yourself out of your train of thought with a small smile, making a move to gather up your belongings without letting go of his hand for a second.
“Well, c’mon then. Those paintballs aren’t going to shoot themselves.”
“Are you saying this is a date?” There was a smirk on his face that wasn’t there a minute ago.
“Would you still consider it one once I annihilate you?” You tilted your head in a challenge.
“That would never happen, first of all.” He scoffed. “Second… I was thinking that maybe we could do something normal for a change.”
That had you more interested than the prospect of adventure sports. You had enough of it for a lifetime, frankly speaking.
“Lead the way, Cinnamon.” He only rolled his eyes at the nickname, sending you a vaguely threatening look. You just laughed.
“This place got good coffee?” He looked around at the establishment and its patrons.
“One of the best.”
“Then I don’t see why we have to go anywhere else,” he offered and you nodded, relaxing back into your place with the same sense of warmth in your heart that only intensified with his proposal.
He raised his hand up to flag the server, the same girl who had been helping you out since you got there, asking for two menus.
The smile he sent her was infectious. It was good.
“Sam,” you began quietly. “I missed you.”
His eyes softened, the sunlight reflecting in it making it shine like dravite. “I missed you, too.”
“Ready to order?” The waitress stands beside you with a notepad.
He looked at you and you nodded with a smile.
Things were different. You were different.
And he still came back to you.
--fin--
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <3
thank you so much for reading!
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amazingmaeve · 4 years
Text
The Bet - Draco Malfoy
Harry Potter Masterlist // Main Masterlist
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Summary: Draco makes a bet with Pansy and Blaise that he can make Y/N, a shy Hufflepuff, fall in love with him.
Draco Malfoy x Female!Reader
Warnings: Angst and Fluff
AN: Had this idea last night and had to do something with it.
Word Count: 1859
"I bet you can't make someone fall in love with you," Pansy who sat across from Draco and sat next to Blaise says looking at the platinum haired boy.
"I'll take that bet as long as it's not Granger," Draco says with a smirk. He knew that Hermione would probably punch him if he ever tried anything with her.
"Why afraid she'll punch you again," Blaise says looking cockily at Draco who rolled his eyes at his fellow Slytherin.
"Just get on with it tell who and I'll do it," Draco snaps looking at Pansy and Blaise who looked at each other with smirks on their faces.
"I'm gonna regret this," Draco thought as Blaise and Pansy whispered and looked around trying to find a girl that would be a challenge for Draco Malfoy.
Pants shoved Blaises shoulder and pointed in a direction behind Draco. Once Blaise saw the girl he had a smirk on his face as Draco looked at the two confused.
"Her," Pansy pointed to Y/N who was reading a book and looked like she was in her own world.
Draco looked behind him and saw Hufflepuff he hasn't noticed before.
"Who is that even," Draco asked turning back to his friends who shrugged.
"No idea," Pansy shrugged. "Now you have to make her fall in love with you in a month or you owe me 15 galleons."
Blaise coughed as Pansy rolled her eyes at him "15 each."
Draco thought about it for a minute his father would be furious if he took the money, but his pride got in the way.
"Deal."
For the next few days Draco watched Y/N. He finally learned her name. He saw that she was a quiet Hufflepuff who barely had any friends.
How he had to think about how to introduce himself to her. He still had most of the month left but he had to think class.
As they were in Slughorns class Draco kept thinking about how to get to her as Y/N was listening to the lesson her professor was teaching.
Y/N usually paid attention in class as she loved the stuff.
People thought she should of been in Ravenclaw but what she thought she got in Hufflepuff is her shyness. 
"Ok now for the next assignment we'll be doing partner work," Slughorn announced to the class.
Most people cheered but Y/N groaned internally since she hated talking to people.
"But I will be choosing your partners," He continued. Draco was now partially listening to the teacher as he heard the groan which mean partner work.
"Ok I'll start listing off the partners," Slughorn got the papers out and started listing out names.
Y/N's heart beat as she thought who she was going to get. She hated this stuff about school since she hated.
"Draco and Y/N," As the two people mentioned snapped their heads up in surprise different thoughts running through each other's brains.
Draco thought this was the perfect  thing to make her fall in love with him.
While Y/N was kind of worried she heard about all the stuff Draco Malfoy has done and his family as well.
As everyone got with their partners Y/N stayed looking at the ingredients for the potions getting ready to make it. She was worried about partnering up with Draco since his reputation was known.
As he sat next to her Y/N kept her face in the book while Draco tried to get a good look at her.
"Hey beautiful," Draco was the first person to say something. He thought it looked cute on her as she blushed at the nickname.
No stop thinking like that it's a bet.
"So what do we need to get started," He asked as she didn't say hey back.
"I'll get the stuff," Y/N whispered as her heart hammered in her chest. Before Draco could say anything she got up to get everything.
Draco scoffed as he watched her run off. He'll have to think of something else to do.
As Y/N sat down and put the ingredients on the table.
"So were you listening cause I certainly was not," Draco stated staring at the beautiful Hufflepuff.
"Yes," Y/N nodded giving him a smile.
"That's a relief," Draco sighed fiddling with his fingers.
"You don't listen," Y/N asked curiously as she put the ingredients in the cauldron.
"No was to busy thinking about a certain Hufflepuff," Draco flirted with a smirk on his face.
"Oh," Y/N blushed looking in the cauldron. Y/N thought he was cute so that's why she felt so flustered around him.
As the class went on Draco kept talking to her and Y/N kept blushing as butterflies were in her stomach.
"Meet me in the library tonight at 6," Draco said giving her a smile before leaving.
Y/N didn't know she should meet him. Maybe he wanted to work on the project or he wanted help in some other class.
Y/N decided to go because also would have been guilt standing him up.
"See you showed up," Y/N jumped as Draco said sitting next to her. She was to engrossed into her book.
"Yes I didn't want to stand you up," Y/N says quietly looking at her lap.
"That's sweet of you," Draco looked at her really looked at her.
He thought that she was the most beautiful girl in the word and even thought they just met today. Draco could feel his heart race.
"Thanks," Y/N smiled at him which made his stomach turn in a good way. "Uh why did you want me here anyways."
"Well I wanted to spend some more time with you darling," Draco teased her as he smirked at the girl who blushed at the nickname.
"Oh," Y/N says surprised.
"Oh why," He was curious of why she was so surprised.
“I just don't have much guys wanting to spend time with me," Y/N smiled at him maybe someone did like her.
Draco started to feel bad for leading her on but quickly got the thought out of his head as he stared into her eyes.
"Well I'm glad to be the first love,” Draco put his hand on hers giving it a squeeze.
They sat there for another hour talking about each other's interest. Draco was very fascinated about this girl.
For the next week the two were glued to each other's hips. Blaise and Pansy took note of this and decided to tease Draco about him.
"Is someone catching feelings," Pansy asked sarcastically.
"It's none of your business and for your information no I am not Draco snapped at the girl and got up walking away from his friends.
A couple weeks later Draco and Y/N got closer and Draco kept flirting with her which made Y/N feel giddy.
Draco invited her to his dorm where they could work on homework together.
As Y/N sat on Draco's bed she looked around and noticed how clean it was.
"Surprised love," Draco sat next to her getting his book out. He didn't really want to study but as long as it was with her it was fine.
Draco in the past 3 weeks has caught feelings for the girl who captured his heart. His stomach would have butterflies every time the talked and every time she smiled at him.
“So let’s get started,” Y/N stated with a smile.
As she continued talking Draco got lost in the way she spoke and a smile on the corner of her lips. Draco wouldn’t admit it but he was smitten.
“Draco are you even listening,” Y/N asked with a smile looking at the boy who snapped out of his daze.
“You are so beautiful,” Draco whispered ignoring Y/N. She let out a blush.
He put his hand on her cheek and felt the heat from the blush. He put his lips on hers and he knew it was her first time.
He knew this since she tried to copy his movements and Draco didn’t mind. Draco was glad to be her first kiss.
“I think I’m falling love with you,” Draco whispered against her lips.
Y/N stared up at him flabbergasted soon turned into a sheepish look.
“I think I’m falling in love with you too.”
In the next few days Draco took her out on the first day she’s ever been on and it was amazing. Draco treated her like a princess.
“I’m done I don’t want to do this bet anymore,” Draco snapped at Blaise and Pansy.
“You can’t just do that,” Pansy hissed.
“Pansy it was just a bet,” Blaise defended Draco.
“No,” Pansy snapped.
“I’m sorry Pansy I’ll pay you back but I’m done I don’t want her to think I’m only doing this for a bet when it’s done,” Draco snapped not noticing the Hufflepuff who walked up to him and had a shocked expression on her face as she heard Draco’s word.
“It was just a bet,” Draco heard Y/N behind her. Draco closed his eyes feeling annoyed with him self.
“Love,” Draco turned around and saw the sad expression on her face and tears coming in the corner of her eyes. He felt so guilty. She looked so sad.
Before he could say anything else she ran out going to her dorm room with tears running down her cheeks.
“Damnit,” Draco cursed himself ignoring Blaise and Pansy running after Y/N knowing she was going to her room.
He ran into the Hufflepuff common and thank god no one was in there. He ran up the stairs to her room where she was crying on her bed.
“Y/N/N,” Draco says cautiously.
“Go away,” Y/N cried into her pillow making her words muffled.
“Please love let me explain,” Draco raced his words out as he ran to her bed sitting next to where her body laid.
When Y/N didn’t say anything he continued.
“It did start out as a bet but as I got to know you I felt myself fall more in love with you,” Draco started to explain. “I started to feel guilty so that’s why I broke the bet off so I could be with you without it being a bet,” Draco lets out a tear.
“So it wasn’t just a lie,” Y/N asked sniffling as she sat up next to him. Her eyes were all black from the mascara.
“No it wasn’t just a lie,” Draco says wiping the tears away.
“One more chance and if you ruin it I’m done,” Y/N says sternly.
Draco nodded while saying “Of course anything love.”
Y/N wrapped her arms around his waist burying her face in his chest while his head rested on the top of her head.
He was happy that she forgave him because right now she was the only good thing in his life. And he knew he would never doing anything wrong again because he love her so much.
Even after a month.
664 notes · View notes
5-seconds-of-bucky · 3 years
Text
Secret
A/N: Hello, hello! Not much to say about this one other than Allison made me do it (2021 is amazing but angsty and I needed some serious fluff so I wrote it myself smh) Anyways, enjoy :)
Summery: AU in which once you meet your soulmate, you can hear them talking to themselves. You’re Shawn’s personal assistant and soulmate but you have to keep your relationship a secret, until one day . . .
Word count: 6.5k+
Warnings: Swearing, and little angst towards the end (but only a little) 
---
This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.
Nobody knew. Nobody. Not your parents, not Andrew, not even Brian knew. You never told anyone about it. But now the whole world knew about your relationship.
The whole world knew and you sure as hell were going to lose your job.
---
You wouldn’t say you knew you were soulmates right away, but it didn’t take long to figure it out. Well, it didn’t take long for Shawn to figure it out and tell you. In fact, it only took him about six hours after meeting you to realize you were the one destined for him.
He knew the moment he met you that there was something about you that was just different. Not different like “I’m not like other girls” different. Different as in someone that gave him a feeling he’d never had before.
“Shawn, this is Y/N Y/L/N, your new personal assistant. Y/N, this is Shawn.” You smiled nervously as Andrew introduced you to your new boss, giving him a small wave before realizing how unprofessional it looked.
You stuck your hand out for a handshake. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Mendes.”
“Oh, please,” he chuckled as he shook your hand. “Call me Shawn. Mr. Mendes is way too formal.”
You let out a small laugh as well, dropping his hand. There was an awkward pause that made you worry you’d already made the wrong impression. Too weak of a handshake? A wavering voice? What made this go downhill so fast?
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” You nodded at the two men before heading over to the bathroom in the hotel lobby.
“She seemed nervous,” Shawn mentioned once you were out of earshot.
“I think she’s going to be a good fit. She’s a year younger than you and her application was great. Give her a chance. She was meeting the Shawn Mendes, her boss, after all.
Get it together, Y/N.
The words muttered in his head were in her voice, not his own. He frowned, sure that his mind was simply playing tricks on him.
Meanwhile, you were in the bathroom, cursing yourself for already making the wrong impression.
“You said ten words to the man and he probably already thinks you’re a moron,” you muttered as you paced in front of the sinks. “Take a deep breath and get back out there.”
“You okay?” Andrew asked, referring to the distant look that had overtaken Shawn’s face.
“Hmm? . . . Oh, yeah. Zoned out for a second.” Am I hearing my soulmate’s voice?
“Play nice with Y/N. I really think you’re going to like her.”
You exited the bathroom and put a pleasant look on your face as you approached the group. That was your job now: look and make everyone happy.
“Y/N, I’ll show you to your room so you can get settled,” Andrew said, gesturing for you to lead the way towards the elevator.
“Wait, Y/N.” Shawn reached out to gently grab your shoulder. “Do you wanna meet up before dinner for a smoothie or something? You know, to get to know each other?” His soft smile was something you couldn’t say no to, even if you’d only known him for three minutes.
Thirty minutes later, Shawn was knocking on your hotel door and taking you out for a smoothie shop across the street.
“What do you think you’re gonna get?” he asked once you were standing in line, taking his wallet out of his pocket.
“Trying to decide between strawberry-banana and berry blast.”
“This is the best smoothie shop around and you want strawberry-banana?”
“Or berry blast.” You’d just met him but the banter came easily. “Besides, if they’re that good at making smoothies, then the strawberry-banana will knock me off my feet with how good it is.”
“I don’t know if I can work with such a basic person as an assistant.” He playfully nudged you a step away from him.
“Oh, is this a test? Because you haven’t even seen me actually work yet.” You stepped in front of him, deciding on strawberry-banana.
“Yeah, but I could fire you for any reason at any time so really-”
“You’re not gonna fire me.” You turned around and gave him a smirk.
“But I could.” He stepped unreasonably close just as you stepped up to order. You pushed his face back with the back of your hand. He’s acting awfully friendly.
“I’ll take a strawberry-banana smoothie please,” you smiled at the cashier, pulling out some money.
“And I’ll get blueberry and avocado smoothie,” Shawn said as he pushed down your hand with the money and held out his card to the cashier. You glared at him playfully and lightly elbowed him in the stomach. “What? It’s good for your skin.”
“You guys are cute,” the cashier giggled after announcing the total and swiping Shawn’s card.
“Oh, we barely know each other.” Your words were a lost cause as Shawn dragged you aside so the next person could order.
“Shh, she doesn’t know that. Make her think there’s a world where a person with a basic smoothie order and a person with a good smoothie order can be soulmates.”
“I haven’t overheard you talking to yourself yet so I don’t think that’s possible.”
“But imagine.” He led you over to a table and plopped down on a seat. You turned around to hang your purse over the back of the chair as you sat down.
“Wait, how much do I owe you?” You pulled the purse back over the chair and dug through it to find the money you haphazardly stuck in there just a minute before.
“Nothing. It’s on me,” he said, like it was the obvious answer.
“But I feel bad making you pay for it.”
“You’re not making me pay for it, I wanted to. Consider it a ‘welcome to the team’ present.”
“That’s very kind of you.”
He liked how nervous he was making you. Whether it was because he was your boss or because he was devilishly handsome, he wasn’t entirely sure. But, he did know that you made him a little nervous too, especially since he was 95 percent sure you were his soulmate.
---
“You know what?” you said to yourself in your hotel room that night. “This is going to be really good for me. A fresh start and a chance to see the world. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
Shawn was distracted from his own thoughts once he heard your voice in his head. Shawn Mendes is my fucking boss. Not only that, but he’s an awesome dude. He smiled, not entirely sure he should be listening into this conversation. To be fair though, he couldn’t help it. Your voice was in his head.
“Damn,” he said as he put on a clean shirt for the night. “That girl was real cute.” He heard something fall in the other room followed by absolute silence, leading him to believe that you heard him. “She had a basic-ass smoothie order though.”
Was that my soulmate? He couldn’t help but laugh, trying to stay quiet as he figured out how to surprise you. Who did I meet today? You started to list the numerous people you met at dinner that night as Shawn shuffled over to the door that connected your hotel rooms.
“Hey, soulmate,” he quipped as he swung the door open. You let out a yelp, arms holding a shirt over your chest as you fell back onto the bed. “Oh, sorry!”
You threw the shirt over your head and glanced at the mirror on the wall to make sure you looked presentable. “You can come back in now,” you said once you were decent. Shawn reentered with a hand over his eyes, softly closing the door behind him. “You can look,” you giggled. “I have a shirt on now.”
Shawn put his hand down and smiled sheepishly at you. You wanted to swoon at how cute he looked with his rosy cheeks and messy curls.
“Hi.” He leaned against the wall, watching your feet get closer and closer to him until your sock clad toes were almost touching his.
“Hey.” He slowly looked up to meet your gaze. You gave him a shy smile and wave, to which he could only smile back. He’s been dreaming of the moment he met his soulmate for all these years yet he found himself at a loss of words.
“So . . . how much of that did you hear?”
“Oh, I heard the whole shabang. I’m glad you think so highly of me.” You groaned and leaned into his chest.
“You weren’t supposed to hear any of that.”
“That’s part of the whole soulmate thing. Can’t help it.”
“We’re actually soulmates?” You lifted your head so your chin was resting on his chest.
“Yeah,” He wrapped his arms around you. “I think we are.”
You brought your hands up so they were resting on his shoulders. “That moment would be a lot more romantic if I wasn’t staring up your nose.”
Shawn threw his head back, body shaking with laughter. You buried your face into his chest as you laughed along with him.
There was a comfortable pause before either of you dared to break the moment. “I’d day we should stay up all night and talk about our deepest fears and hopes for the future but we both look dead tired so we should probably call it a night.”
“Probably should. Night, Shawn.”
“Night, Y/N.” He squeezed you for a second longer before opening the door and stepping back into his room, sending you a wink before he shut it all the way.
“Shawn Mendes is my soulmate,” you whispered to yourself. “Shawn Mendes is my fucking soulmate!”
“Uh huh,” Shawn chuckled from the other room. “We’re definitely soulmates.”
---
It was a year of bliss full of sneaking kisses behind closed doors and holding hands under tables. You agreed at the start to keep your relationship a secret. With you settling into the new job and the two of you wanting to explore the relationship, it was best to keep everything under wraps. Hard as you tried, people had their suspicions for one reason or another.
It started with Andrew about a month after you realized you were soulmates. Shawn knew he could trust Andrew but he also knew that Andrew could be kind of harsh when it came to professionalism. The man didn’t expect the two of you to refer to each other strictly by last name, but he did expect that you abide by the rules and not cross the line between platonic and romantic.
So Shawn thought it would be best to find out what would happen if you were to announce that you were together. You know, in a hypothetical situation.
“Andrew, Shawn is looking for you,” you said as you peeked your head around the doorway of the green room. “He’s in his dressing room.”
Andrew’s head perked up at the calling of his name and nodded, standing up and following you to Shawn’s dressing room. You let him go in by himself, telling him that you had some other things to attend to. Once he shut the door though, you put your ear to it in hopes that you would be able to overhear what he had to say about Shawn’s “hypothetical” situation.
“Y/N said you needed me?” Andrew said once the door was closed.
“Yeah, I just had a quick question.” Shawn picked at the skin on the side of his thumb. “I just thought of this random situation and I was wondering what would happen if it actually happened.”
Andrew nodded for him to go on, still confused as to why Shawn made him come all the way down there for this.
“So say, my assistant was my soulmate. What would happen? Would they be able to keep their job or . . .?” He could see the gears turning in Andrew’s head at the mention of a soulmate and he wasn’t quite sure how he was going to answer.
“Is this about Y/N?”
“No, no. Just in some alternate universe. What would happen?”
“It depends. You obviously have a soulmate, we can’t stop that from happening, but I’d rather it not be someone you worked with,” Andrew started. “When I hire any team member, no matter what their job is, they agree that there is to be no romantic involvement with you. It keeps things professional and could prevent things from going haywire with the media. Things never look good when a star gets involved with someone on their team. I just don’t want to deal with all the bad publicity that could come out of that kind of situation. I don’t know if I would fire them but it would likely be on the table.” He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. “But that’s not happening with you and Y/N, right?”
Your face dropped. You were expecting that sort of answer, but it still hurt to hear.
“What? Pfft, of course not. I was just curious,” Shawn replied, walking over to the door and pushing it open. You stumbled back, suddenly realizing that you were supposed to be attending “other things.”
“That was all. Thanks, Andrew.” Andrew gave Shawn a look that said he knew something was up, but Shawn laughed it off.
Okay?” He stepped out into the hallway, bumping into you. “Oops, sorry, Y/N.”
“Haha, no problem,” you waved him off. “Shawn, they need you on stage for soundcheck.”
“Soundcheck doesn’t start for another half hour,” Andrew said.
“They wanted to start early. Something about having trouble with stuff in the past so they wanted to get a head start.”
Shawn shot you a discrete thumbs up, eyes silently thanking you for the save.
“Okay then? I’ll let you do what you need to do.”
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in once he turned around and started making his way back down the hallway.
“Do they actually need me?”
“No, but I needed to look like I wasn’t eavesdropping.”
Shawn looked down the hallway to make sure no one was there before pulling you into a hug behind the open door and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I love you.”
“Love you too, big guy. Can we go to stage so it doesn’t look like I was lying?” You pulled away and took hold of his hand, tugging him in the direction of the stage.
Shawn rolled his eyes. “The things I do for you.”
“Thank youuu.” He followed you down the long hallway, checking every so often to make sure no one was behind you.
“Nice shoes,” he smirked, glancing down at the tie dye Crocs you were wearing.
“My heel broke and I didn’t have another pair of shoes on me.”
“But you had rainbow Crocs?”
“It’s fashion and comfort all in one shoe. You expect me to carry another pair of heels around when I could be wearing these bad boys?”
“I mean, they go wonderfully with the blouse and slacks. I kinda want a pair now.”
“Guess I know what to get you for Christmas.”
The sound of footsteps coming towards you stopped your conversation. You ripped your hand out of Shawn’s and he found himself missing the warmth of it.
“Hey, just talked to stage crew,” Andrew said once he popped around the corner you were just about to turn. “They’re not starting yet. They’re actually on track to be starting late. Don’t know who told you they needed him.”
“That’s weird,” you said, attempting to subtly put some more space between Shawn and yourself. “Guess we have some time. You guys need me to get anything for you?” The men both shook their heads no.
“Nice shoes, by the way.” He was gone as quickly as he appeared.
You looked over to see Shawn doubled over, body shaking with laughter. “Shut up, he almost caught us.”
“Yeah, but he saw the shoes!”
“How did the universe put us together?”
“Oh stop.” He wrapped you in his arms once again. “You know you love me.”
---
Brian was the next to get curious about your relationship.
A knock on the door that connected you and Shawn’s hotel room made Shawn look up from his phone for the first time in a while. He was met with your sheepish smile and what he now affectionately called the “Y/N wants something wave.”  
He narrowed his eyes at you. “What do you want?”
“Can I borrow one of your shirts? All of mine are dirty.”
“You have like 1,000 shirts.”
“Well 995 of them are dressy shirts for my job and I’m out of comfy shirts to sleep in. Would you be willing to sacrifice one of yours so I may bask in its comfort?”
“I guess so,” he sighed, leaning over the side of his bed to grab a shirt.
“Thank you.” You smiled wider as he came towards you and threw the shirt over your face. “Ooh, it smells like you.”
“That could be because I wear it a lot.”
“Is it your favorite shirt?”
“Maybe.”
“Ooh, I feel special.”
“Go put a shirt on, weirdo.”
You disappeared behind the door for a second and slipped the shirt on. You stepped back into Shawn’s room without a second thought and suddenly, Shawn couldn’t take his eyes off of you.
The silence and his stare made you feel self conscious for a moment. Does he not want me to wear it?
“I actually have a clean shirt if you don’t want me to wear-”
“No, keep it on. It looks good on you.” Two months into your secret relationship and he was head over heels in love with you.
“Thanks . . .” Completely uncharted territory. Neither of you had any idea what to do from here.
“Do you wanna, uh, sleep here tonight?” He scratched the back of his neck.
“Yeah . . . I’d like that.”
He held his arm out for you to enter and closed the door behind you.
“I, uh, need to use the bathroom real quick.”
You stepped into the bathroom and braced yourself on the counter. “It’s no big deal, Y/N. He’s your soulmate. No need to get nervous.”
Shawn melted as the words played in his head. Now go out there and be the best damn soulmate there is.
You emerged from the bathroom like nothing happened, leaning on the doorway with your arms crossed. “Sup?”
“You didn’t flush the toilet.”
“Oh please, we both know I wasn’t actually going to the bathroom.”
Shawn held his hands up in defense, extending them out as you shuffled over to the bed and flopped down on it.
“I’m going to steal this shirt, by the way,” you said matter of factly.
“You should. It looks good on you.” He tugged you onto his chest so your head was laying over his heart.
“You’re gonna let me steal your favorite shirt, just like that?” You flipped over so your chin was resting on his shoulder. He nodded. “Damn, that was easy. You really do love me.”
You spent the next hour and a half talking about the random thoughts that crossed your mind. Minute by minute, your eyes got droopier and droopier, until you were fast asleep on top of Shawn. It was everything he wanted in life, right there in his arms.
He was almost asleep himself when there was a sharp knock on the door. He got up, careful not to move you too much and wake you up before opening the door.
“Hey, can I borrow some toothpaste?” a tired looking Brian asked, a yawn escaping his mouth in the fluorescent hotel hallway.
“Uh, yeah.” Shawn let Brian step inside, completely forgetting in his sleepy state that you were laying on the bed. He came out of the bathroom a second later to hand the toothpaste to Brian, who seemed completely shocked out of the daze he was in earlier. “What?”
“Is that Y/N?”
“Oh, yeah, she had a rough day so she came over here to vent. Ended up falling asleep before she went back to her own room.” He was getting better at coming up with these coverups.
“Really? She seemed like she was having a great day when I saw her earlier. I think the tie dye Crocs put her in a good mood.”
“I don’t know,” Shawn shrugged. “Maybe something went wrong after you saw her?”
“Maybe,” Brian nodded slowly, already putting the pieces together. “She’s not your soulmate, is she?”
“No, of course not. Just good friends.” The response came quick. Almost too quick.
“Okay, sure.” Brian took the toothpaste from Shawn with a skeptical look. “Thanks. I’ll give it back tomorrow morning.”
Shawn gave him a thumbs up and closed the door. He looked back to your sleeping form and couldn’t help but grin. He loved everything about you. How bad would it actually be if someone found out about you?
---
“Wanna ditch and get milkshakes?” You were standing in the corner of some celebrity’s mansion when Shawn asked the question. The Grammys afterparty wasn’t all that appealing to you, but it was part of the job and Shawn wanted you to go as his plus one since you were, as he claimed, his “best friend in the whole entire universe.”
“Hell yeah.” You pushed yourself off the wall, brushing off the back of your dress. “Where’re we going?”
“I dunno. What’s open this late?” He reached out to grab your hand, which you almost took before realizing where you were. His face dropped the slightest bit, wanting nothing more than to hold your hand and let the whole world know that he’d found his soulmate.
“I’m sure there’s something close by.” You nodded for him to follow you. “Wait, I have to ‘convince’ you to stay so I can say I tried to keep you here and Andrew doesn’t get mad at me.”
Shawn crossed his arms and nodded. “Can we ditch and get milkshakes?”
“No, we have to stay so you don’t seem rude.”
“But this party's boring and we could have a lot more fun somewhere else.”
“Shawn.”
“I could fire you . . .”
“Nice,” you said, grabbing his wrist and making your way through the crowd.
The cool air of the night was a relief from how hot it was inside but you found yourself pressing yourself into Shawn’s side anyways. He threw his arm over your shoulder as the two of you made your way to the edge of the driveway. The noise from the party faded into the background and neither of you said anything, enjoying one of the rare quiet moments you got together.
“Where to, m’lady?”
“You’re the one who wanted to leave.”
“Don’t act like you wanted to be there,” he teased, pulling away to grab your hand and twirl you under his arm.
“Well, I’m indecisive so you have the honors of picking the place.”
“I guess let’s go into the city and go to the first place that’s open.”
“Sounds good to me.” Your smile could light up the streets better than the streetlamps and he never wanted to see it go away.
“Take this, by the way.” Shawn shook his suit jacket off and put it over your shoulders. The red cloth was a little too big but he thought you looked stunning nonetheless.
“I’m not cold though.” You pulled your arms through the sleeves anyways.
“Let me do the boyfriend thing,” he pleaded as he rolled his shirt sleeves up.
“Fine. Only because you look really hot with your shirt sleeves rolled up.”
He smirked, making a mental note for the future.
You walked for a while before you stumbled across a McDonald’s, mumbling a might as well before opening the door for Shawn.
“Hey, I’m supposed to do that.”
“Oh, please. Let me be nice.”
The restaurant was empty, the only other person in there being the cashier who sleepily appeared from the kitchen as you looked at the menu. Shawn stepped up and ordered a milkshake before you stepped up and ordered a shake and fries. You whipped out your card and paid for it before Shawn could, to which he playfully glared at you.
“You pay for stuff all the time. Let me pay seven dollars this one time.”
He huffed, letting you know that you’d won. You smiled triumphantly as you sat down at a table and patted the space across from you. Shawn sat down and propped his elbow on the table to rest his head on his hand.  
“Why are you so pretty?” you mumbled as you admired him. Seven billion people in the world and you somehow were lucky enough to have Shawn Mendes as your soulmate. Who would’ve thought?
“Why are you so pretty?” He reached across the table to grab your hand.
“I asked first.” You intertwined your fingers with his.
Your order number was called before he could respond, causing him to let go of your hand and go up to the counter. He grabbed the food and turned around to catch you checking him out. “What’re you looking at?”
“I can’t help it! Do you have any idea how hot it is when you roll the sleeves of a button up all the way up to your elbows?”
He laughed as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Would’ve done this a lot more often if I knew how much you liked it,” he said as he popped a fry into his mouth.
“Well, it’s super hot so please do it more often.” You took a sip of your milkshake. “And be more careful. Someone might see us.,” you said, referring to the act of affection he did moments before.
“We’re fine. The poor kid’s so tired they’re falling asleep back there.”
“Still. We’re in public and I really don’t want to lose my job.”
“Andrew won’t fire you. He just wants to scare us,” Shawn insisted, reaching over to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “Besides, if word does get out we can finally move forward with our lives. Get married? Really start our future together?” It had only been eight months but Shawn knew without a single doubt that he wanted to be with you. (The soulmate part helped a little bit too.)
“You really want to do that?”
“You’re my soulmate and the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Of course I want to get married! That is, as long as you want to.”
“I’d like that.”
The sound of your phone ringing ruined the moment, and you quickly fumbled to get it out of your pocket.
“Andrew, hey,” you said, watching Shawn’s face change from lovey-dovey to concerned and a little scared.
“Where are you guys?” Andrew’s voice came through the phone, slightly drowned out by the loud music playing in the background.
“I . . . uh . . .”
“It sounds really quiet over there. Did you guys sneak back to the hotel?” You cringed at what sounded like a disappointed tone as you tried to come up with an answer that wouldn’t get you fired.
“Shawn wanted milkshakes so we’re at McDonalds,” you finally admitted.
“Dude!” Shawn whisper yelled.
“I tried to make him stay but he was insistent!”
“Can you put Shawn on the phone?”
“Sure,” you said, passing the phone to Shawn.
“Andrew, hi,” Shawn said in a voice that did not at all match the look on his face. You couldn’t hear what Andrew was saying but based on the intermittent “I know” and “yeah” you assumed he was getting lectured about ditching the party.
“We will. See you there.” He hung up with a sigh. “Our romantic time at McDonald’s is going to have to come to an end, my dear.”
“What’d he say?” You took your phone from his hand and stood up.
“Come back to the hotel or you’re gonna get it.” He took his milkshake in one hand and your hand in the other, letting you take the last few fries and throw out the cardboard.
“You’re going to get me fired one of these days.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is a bad thing! I like my job, thank you very much.”
“I kid, I kid.”
His smile was all you needed in life. Job or not, you would always have Shawn, right?
---
“Here’s your boarding pass,” you said through a yawn, handing Shawn the slip of paper as you walked into the airport.
The pass you handed him had your name printed on it and he laughed to himself. He took the pass you had in your hand and switched it with the one he gave you.
“What’re you-”
“You gave me your pass.” He placed his hand on your lower back, subtly trying to speed you up so you could catch up to the rest of the group.
“Oh, sorry,” you muttered softly. “I’ve gotten three hours of sleep in the past two days. I’m so ready to get on the plane and take a freaking nap.”
“We gotta get on the plane first, sleepyhead.” You were dressed in leggings, an oversized t-shirt, and your tie dye Crocs. It was one of the few times he ever saw you dressed down on the job and he was loving it.
“Watch your hand, there’s people all around.”
“It’s really hard to take you seriously when you look like you’re about to pass out in my arms.”
“Shawn!”
“I’m helping out my tired best friend. Besides, it’s four in the morning, nobody’s around.” He didn’t move his arm, even as you got closer to the group. It was like he wanted to get caught. “And, if you really wanted me to move, you would’ve shaken my arm off by now.”
He knew you too well.
He kept his arm there as you checked your luggage and went through security, only letting go when absolutely necessary. It earned some strange looks from a couple team members but you were too tired to care. All you wanted to do was take a year long nap.
You ended sitting in the terminal with half the team while the other half went to get coffee. Shawn sat next to you, occasionally glancing around to see if he could steal a kiss from you when no one was looking.
It was another 30 minutes until you were supposed to board but you weren’t sure you would be able to keep your eyes open for much longer. Shawn noticed your bobbing head and drooping eyes and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pushing your head so it was resting on his shoulder.
“I’ll wake you up when it’s time to board.”
“Thanks, babe,” you whispered, pressing a subtle kiss to his shoulder as your eyes fluttered closed.
“What are you guys gonna do when you find your real soulmates?” Brian asked casually, not even looking up from his phone. Shawn’s head snapped up at the mention of “soulmates” and Brian snickered. “You two act like you’re soulmates all the freaking time. What’s gonna happen when you find the actual one for you?”
“What if we are soulmates and we just didn’t tell anyone?” It was a stupid answer but he wasn’t sure what else to say. Was he really about to expose your relationship after keeping it a secret for all this time?
“You wouldn’t be able to keep that from me.” While Brian wasn’t entirely convinced his two friends weren’t soulmates, he didn’t have the proof to say definitively that they were.
“Fair enough.”
The conversation stopped there but Shawn couldn’t stop thinking about it. Eleven months together and you somehow managed to keep it a secret from everyone. It meant that you couldn’t progress your relationship as far as you wanted to though. Was it even worth it to keep it a secret anymore?
Your boarding group was called before he could dwell on it too long and Shawn was forced to wake you up. As much as he wanted to keep you asleep, he knew there was no getting you on the plane otherwise.
“Wake up, pretty girl,” he muttered as he pressed his face to the top of your head and rubbed his hand up and down your arm. You sighed and snuggled deeper into him, craving his warmth. “You can go back to sleep soon but we gotta get on the plane.”
You lifted your head slowly, blinking at the bright lights of the terminal. Shawn helped you stand up and grabbed your carry on and helped you stand up.
“I’m supposed to take your stuff. That’s my actual job,” you said, reaching for your backpack that he was holding.
“You’re tired, honey. Let me carry your bag.”
You complied, too tired and wanting nothing more than to knock out for the five hour flight. You put your head back on Shawn’s shoulder the second he sat down next to you on the plane, out cold for the entire ride.
---
Shawn Mendes Found His Soulmate? Everything You Need to Know About the New Couple.
What You Need to Know About Shawn Mendes’ Post Last Night.
Shawn Mendes Gets Cozy With His PA in Recent Instagram Post.
The headlines seemed to be never ending as they appeared on your phone. You could hear Shawn pacing in the other room and trying to explain to Andew what was happening. It was inevitable, you knew. But did it have to happen like this?
“Andrew, I don’t know what to tell you. It was an accident!” Shawn insisted, running a hand through his hair for the millionth time since the call started.
“Do you have any idea how bad this is, Shawn?” Andrew sighed on the other side of the line. “This is exactly what I told you was going to happen!”
Texts were blowing up your phone like crazy. All your friends were wondering since when Shawn Mendes was your soulmate and why you didn’t tell them earlier. That didn’t matter so much through as you realized that you were about to lose your job, and possibly Shawn.
“We’re soulmates, Andrew! What were we supposed to do? You said that she’d be fired if she was my soulmate. Y/N loves this job and she’s amazing at it. I didn’t want to lose her!”
You felt like you were going to throw up.
From what you could hear, the rest of the conversation didn’t go too well. Shawn sounded frustrated beyond belief as he tried to save your job and relationship, leaving you wondering if you would have either of those after today. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t hear him enter the living room and sit down next to you.
“Andrew wants to have a meeting in an hour,” he sighed. You bit your lip, trying to hold back tears as you stared at the ground.
“I’m getting fired, aren’t I?” you asked.
“I have no idea, honestly. I’m not sure how much authority I have over that.” He put his head in his hands. The uncertainty of the future was killing both of you.
“Should we just break up?”
Your voice was so quiet but Shawn heard the words loud and clear.
“What!?”
“We’re obviously going to get in a ton of trouble for this. What if Andrew says we have to end it? If this ends, I want it to be on my terms, not someone else’s.”
“Y/N, he can’t make us break up.”
“But what if this destroys your career? I wouldn’t be able to live with the fact that I was the reason you had to stop doing what you loved.”
“Y/N, you’re spiraling. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that I love more than you.”
“I just want you to be happy.” A single tear slipped down your face and Shawn wished he wasn’t the reason for it.
“You make me happy.”
You stared at each other for a moment before you threw yourself into his arms, latching on tight as sobs rang through your body. Shawn tucked his head into your neck, holding you tight and letting a few tears soak into your shirt.
“No matter what happens,” He pulled back to look directly into your eyes. “I will always love you. Nobody can make us end our relationship, okay? I don’t care if it ends my career, I will never want anything more than you.”
You nodded, not sure what else to say.
“Now, lets get yelled at by Andrew and tell him that this isn’t going to end.”
---
“Alright, let’s talk about this.” Andrew sat down across from you and Shawn, sounding calmer than he did an hour ago over the phone.
“Before you say anything, we’re not breaking up. I just wanna make that clear.” Shawn said, his thumb caressing your hand under the table.
“I’m not gonna make you break up. I just want to know why you didn’t tell me earlier.” His voice sounded strained, like he couldn’t believe that you would hide something like this from him for so long. “We could’ve prevented this whole squabble if you just told me earlier.”
“I didn’t want to lose my job,” you said. “I agreed that I wouldn’t be romantically involved with Shawn when you hired me and I broke that agreement on the first day.”
“The first day?” Andrew leaned forward in his seat.
“Yeah, we uh . . . we found out that night.”
“If I’m being honest, I’ve pretty much known for a while,” Andrew confessed. “I was waiting for one of you to tell me though. I didn’t want to pressure you.”
“But you said she could get fired-”
“I said that firing her could possibly be on the table, depending on the situation. Y/N’s a great team member and I know your relationship isn’t going to get in the way of her doing her job. I figured that if you were trying to keep it a secret for so long, you didn’t want anyone to know.”
“You knew the whole time?” Shawn leaned back in his chair, feeling a lot more relaxed now that he knew your job was safe.
“You guys were subtle but you weren’t that subtle. I pieced it together pretty quickly.”
“So I’m not getting fired?”
“No, I’m not going to fire you.”
You breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was a-okay. “Thank you, Andrew. Really, thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“No need to thank me. Your work speaks for itself.” Andrew smiled and for the first time in a long time, you felt at ease. You didn’t have to hide anything anymore. “However, we do have to deal with this situation you two have created.”
---
“Ready?” Shawn asked, his thumb hovering over the “post” button.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you smiled. A year of hiding your relationship from everyone you knew and you were finally going to share it with the world.
“Let’s do this.” He pressed the button and just like that, the picture was up.
shawnmendes "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." -Dr. Seuss
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helion-ism · 3 years
Text
let’s talk about elucien
there are so many reasons why I love elain x lucien and why I think these two would not only be amazing together, but also why they belong together. one of those reasons is lucien’s sassy personality, which we already got a glimpse of in acotar (and that I miss terribly btw), and which is, in my opinion, exactly what elain needs in her life. we’re talking about lucien “your eyes are like stars, and your hair like burnished gold” vanserra. we know he’s got quite a big mouth, that’s how we got to know him, but we also know that mouth is exactly what’s gotten him into trouble before. case in point: the eye incident. lucien doesn’t mince his words and yes, that is one of the reasons why elain really needs to spend some more time with him. 
she has been coddled by not only her father, nesta, feyre, but also the entire inner circle, which has allowed her to live her life passively. yes, she killed the king of hybern, and good for her, but she did it because nobody else could have done it at that point in time. ever since the war ended, elain has not actively contributed to any plot matters, whether by choice or because someone else took the choice from her. azriel said in acosf, “there is an innate darkness to the dread trove that elain should not be exposed to.” even amren pointed out that elain is capable of defending herself, but for some reason, nobody let her even though elain said she would try to find it: “then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” and yet,  by the end of the book, elain’s been barely in it and has not contributed at all. (I know some people claim there’s certain things already happening in the background, but honestly, I’m not satisfied with that development happening off page, so I can’t wait to finally go on her journey and actually see her do stuff)
this moment is crucial:
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does it look like she is happy with the way the others treat her? not really. when nesta snapped at her, elain started laughing. that signals relief to me because nesta, the one who has always tried to protect elain the most (nesta baby Ilysm), is the one who suddenly lost her patience. elain needs somebody like lucien, somebody with a big mouth and sassy attitude, who can coax her out of that paralysis she’s been stuck in, a bit like nesta in this scene. additionally, the banter would be top tier. I want another “if I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?” moment, please. god please. (elain blinks. “and where would you like that kiss?” — and lucien just loses his mind.)
another thing that lives in my head rent free is the fact that lucien has travelled almost everywhere and could introduce elain, who wishes to see more of the world (see: “elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers”), to the different courts and the continent. I refuse to accept that we will not get to learn more about the other courts, for my sake, but also for elain’s sake. I want her to see the spring court at least once. I want her to go and see those tulips she’s dreamt of. I want her and lucien to discover the day court as a new home, which brings me to the next point. 
elain has been craving sunshine for some time now. there’s several quotes that emphasise her connection to sunshine/light, here are a few of my favourites: 
I marveled at it, actually — that those years of poverty hadn‘t stripped away that light from elain.
the suite was filled with sunlight. every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible. as if any bit of darkness was abhorrent.
she had been always so full of light. perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. to fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. and now nothing remained.
what can I get you, elain? — sunshine.
elain doesn’t belong into the night court. feyre has found her family there, with rhys and the inner circle. nesta has found (or should I say accepted) cassian and found gwyn and emerie, her chosen sisters. but elain?
elain is somewhere in the background hiding with the twins and tending to gardens of the citizens of velaris. you can’t tell me that is satisfactory to you. she is currently ignoring her seer abilities, and the members of the inner circle are basically encouraging her to do so. the only time she’s been confronted lately was during that conversation with nesta and her reaction was not exactly what any of us readers would have expected, was it? that tells me there’s much more about her we don’t know yet, and I’m convinced we won’t know until she finally leaves and finds her own people, finds herself again and start dealing with everything that happened to her. elain must leave the night court, i.e. the darkness, behind in order to grow.
the same goes to lucien: he’s not at a place where he can just jump into a relationship or mating bond. he’s got so much stuff going on. lucien was forced to abandon his home and his abusive family, his “father” killed the fae he loved in front of his eyes, his best friend is an abusive pos who never appreciated him anyway, and neither has anyone in the night court. lucien is used because of his connections and because of the mating bond that ties him to elain, whether he wanted it or not. feyre knows he would never turn away from elain unless she explicitly wishes him to, and so she and rhys and the others use that to their advantage. it is smart, of course, but at the same time, they also keep important information about his own life from him that could change many, many things. so he’s spending his time with mortals in the human lands — a place where he as a fae really does not belong. 
lucien being the heir to the day court, well, to me, it feels like sjm is practically screaming it into our face: how could he find a home in the night court, the literal opposite to the day? darkness vs. light. and what about elain “he’d never once in the two years he’d known her found elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … it sucked the life from her” archeron? just looking at the symbolism, not only do the quotes from above indicate that the night court cannot possibly be her home, but also very recent quotes from the latest book. elain is a side character in the night court. and so is lucien. they both need to leave in order to become main characters — and it doesn’t even matter that both are already crucial to the further plot of the series because how can they possibly contribute to it in a place where they are both kept down? 
mor said in acofas: “stay out of it. she’s not ready, and neither is he, no matter how many presents he brings.” and “let him figure out where he wants to be. who he wants to be. the same goes with her.” mor’s power is “truth”, whatever that means. but there you have it. they’re not ready to be with each other yet, and that’s okay. 
[elain and lucien are also connected not only because of the mating bond, but also because of the plot. lucien must know quite a lot about her and her sisters simply because of all the time he spent with their father. the father who made a bargain with koschei. koschei who put a spell on vassa. lucien is therefore tied to both papa archeron as well as koschei and vassa. elain, we know, is a seer, despite her not using her abilities (or is she, and we simply don’t know?). elain is (obviously) connected to her father, but also to koschei and vassa (remember those visions she had).]
now let’s get to the mating bond stuff, and I need to say this loud and clear: elain has always had and will always have one (1) true mate. there’s no such thing as “false mate” or even multiple mates. there has been no indication whatsoever. lucien is the mate the cauldron had given her when she was born. and elain is the mate the cauldron had given him when he was born. even when she was still human, they already belonged together — tied together by strings of fate. absolutely nothing will change this fact. should elain reject the bond, lucien will remain a part of her life/her soul forever. should lucien reject the bond, elain will remain a part of his life/his soul forever.
when she was still human, lucien had already felt a pull between them and tried to save and protect her from hybern. when elain was already fae, when it came to protecting her, azriel clapped cassian’s shoulder and left (is this the true mate they’re all talking about?). it’s unfair to lucien, elain, AND azriel and this comparison alone is enough to disprove this theory.
the thing is, lucien has been nothing but respectful, kind and caring towards elain. when he arrived in velaris in acowar, he could immediately sense what she needed and said, “she needs fresh air” (vs. the response “we’ll judge what she needs”) and “take her to the sea. take her to some garden. but get her out of this house for an hour or two.” (I’m gonna make another post about this because I have a few thoughts on this)
of course, she doesn’t owe him anything, but elain herself doesn’t wish to be treated like a child, she maybe she should start acting like an adult because although she doesn’t owe lucien an apology or explanation, she has to have a conversation with him, like two responsible adults. there is no way feyre or anyone in the inner circle hasn’t told her that she can reject the bond and move on with her life. but just like her powers, this is another thing she chooses to ignore. I’m not blaming her because I know she has to work through her trauma first and heal, but by the end of the series, she has to acknowledge that at least.
in acosf, elain says “I am not a child to be fought over” when they discuss the dread trove. I wonder what she would say about the fact azriel threatens to challenge lucien to the blood duel because of her? based on literally everything we know about lucien, I can say with certainty that he would not physically fight over elain. if she only had a conversation with him and told him to move on and leave her alone, lucien would do just that. he would leave her alone and try to move on as best as he could (which we know is difficult for males). but he would never act as entitled to her as to demand a blood duel and fight to death. it goes against his principles. 
to finish this off, sjm summing up everything I just said:
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imaginationmess · 3 years
Text
TAKE MY HAND (ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE) [BAKUGOU KATSUKI X READER]; TWO
Bakugou Katsuki X Reader
AGED UP AU!
Summary: When you take on the burden to keep the ones living safe, which causes you to become a traitor, but you had to pick a decision, and it cost their trust in you. You reverted to your old violent self. Months later, you find yourself face to face with your old friends. They want you to help them because they know you can handle yourself in this current state of the world. They are still ignorant of the state the world is. They have no idea how more dangerous it has become.
“We are still fucking fighting and won’t stop fighting. If you fucking give up, we lose!”
BEFORE READING! PLEASE READ DISCLAIMER!
Previously Chapter ONE; Masterlist
Chapter TWO
Word Count: 1,600+
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Spoiler Alert for Anime watchers: There will be mention of Midoirya’s new quirks that haven’t been introduced in the anime.
Once the four of them have taken a shower and had time to discuss with each other weighing the pros and cons of trusting you. You did have a good record of keeping up with your promises before the incident where you betrayed all of their trust. It’s a tie between trusting you or not trusting you over a deal.
They are gonna reconsider the vote about it, later at night. They are all curious how you became a Mafia boss from just an original teenager who wanted to become a hero. To only become a cold killer and making a name for yourself years later.
They only have heard stories and rumors of the alias you go by.
Glitch.
A masked individual who is widely known for their cold,calculated mind and a heartless killer who didn’t care who gets caught in the crossfire. A leader who rapidly climbing up the ladder in the mafia world during the time of the apocalypse. A leader who became to hold more territory and killing off of other leaders to take their territory and expand their army.
A name alone made your enemies tremble in their boots.
They are hoping to get better judgment, seeing how things are run here.
The young boy that goes by the alias Speedy gave them a quick tour, but didn’t show the whole building due to being confidential from outsiders. He is just following orders. He was taking them to the cafeteria to grab something to eat to only notice where the children were eating all together were pointing at them. Most of them have eyes of admiration and pure awe looking at them.
“They are fans of you guys. They have seen the old video recording of previous sports festivals. We had to keep them somewhat entertained. Glitch got her hands on those old videos.” Speedy explains to continue to eat his soup.
The boys nod, understanding why the kids are so excited to see them in the flesh. It was weird, but somewhat comforting that the younger generation isn’t taught to hate heroes.
“I would keep those degrading comments of Miss Glitch to yourselves because the people who live here aren’t fans of heroes, much less of outsides. I heard you guys arguing earlier outside the room. You weren’t very quiet.” He looks at Bakugou in a way saying you are the loud one, before adding, “Everyone here would not agree on whatever image you decide to picture her.”
“Why wouldn’t they agree? Isn’t she a killer though?” Todoroki is just addressing the tension in the air. Midoriya and Kirishima choked on their food before coughing. They forgot Todoroki still struggles to read the social situations.
“Yes, she has killed many, but it is done to keep everyone safe. At the state of the world, it isn’t run by heroes who never got their hands dirty. It is run by killers because prison doesn’t exist. Who is gonna be the one to put those low lives underneath the ground? You guys never faced the true danger of the current state of the world. You are always protected just because you attend a prestigious school before the apocalypse hit.” Speedy spits out before taking a deep breath and just continues eating his food. His left hand was
“I apologized for his comment. We just have a history of them. It didn’t end on a good note. I know yo-.”
Speedy interrupts Midoriya by slams his spoon on the table before taking a deep breath to recollect himself.
“You don’t know any of our experiences. It was hell before Miss Glitch came to save us and took us in with no judgment. She taught us how to freaking survive by teaching us numerous tools such as self-defense and weapon handling. She never expected anything in return, unlike other mafia groups.”
The sound of a clap pauses the tension being created by five of them. The ex heroes in training look up to see meet the emotionless man covered with tattoos and scars. The same man who was within the room left to the minor from earlier. He placed a hand on top of Speedy head to ruffle his hair.
“Go ahead, eat with your sibling. Take a breather. I will take over making sure these little shits behave.” He removes his hand from his head before taking a seat beside the teenager.
“But-” Speedy was hesitant on leaving his position.
“It’s an order. Spend time with your sibling. Enjoy the night off.” The older man takes out a red apple from his pocket. Speedy stares at the four outside and gives a quick nod before taking his leave.
Bakugou Katsuki was staring at the man with suspicion as if he saw him before this mission. He wasn’t the only one who was thought so. Midoriya recalls those same tattoos, but it must have been a long time ago. He couldn’t easily recall. They were eating quietly until they finished.
“Let’s start ny introducing myself. I am Daichi. I am usually the one who runs this base when Miss Glitch isn’t present. It must have been your lucky day because you would have been tortured to death for trespassing.” The hairs behind their neck rise and getting goosebumps.
They sense malicious by the way he is sounding. Midoriya’s danger senses were activating and going crazy causing him to want to step away from him. It takes him back to when All For One and Stain’s presence.
Daichi’s yellow eyes stare at every one of them as he takes out a pocket knife directs it at Midoriya who was sitting in front of him. “The only reason you four are alive and even getting treated with special treatment is because of Miss Glitch. Step out of line, I wouldn’t hesitate to beat the shit of you wannabe heroes. That’s the only thing. I am allowed to do.” He swiftly put his pocket knife after cutting his apple into six pieces which fall on the napkin. He claps his hands together cutting through the tension for him to drop the act to replace it with a fake smile.
“Anyways comes to my question. What did you talk about with the young boy making them lose their composure?”
He was oblivious enjoying tormenting these wannabe heroes.
_______________________________________
Meanwhile, inside the hero’s refuge base where there is a tall metal barrier that runs underneath 20 feet underground.
There was a young man with black hair with his signature scarf, looking at a map looking where to travel to get more food and other resources. They are running out of places to investigate. The last 2 locations were a complete bust. It has been cleaned out completely. He is one of the leaders of the camp where they have stayed safe since the beginning of the apocalypse.
There was a knock on the wall, before someone coming in through the curtains. They pull a chair across from him, before taking a seat. They are twirling it around for them to rest their arms on the top of the chair.
“Aizawa, I can’t believe you took my suggestion seriously.” The young male with the purple bed hair as if he just rolled out of bed, comments. He has a small scar above his eyebrow. He has a few scars on his arms that have grown muscular.
“It was insane, but not outside of the possibilities.” Aizawa laid back in his chair and stares at his former student who is now somewhat a version copy of himself when it comes to fighting styles.
“Do you tell the trio? Whom they are gonna be meeting?” The purple-haired questions, not seeing they would be willing to see a former classmate that so-called became a traitor in their eyes.
“No. They wouldn’t be willing to do it despite us being a tight spot right now when it comes to resources.” Aizawa answers, before ruffling his hair and keeping his eyes closed. He is stressed out and not having a lot of options. They are running low on adults that were pro heroes. They have lost many throughout the apocalypse. Many of them abandon their original mission to save themselves.
The apocalypse revealed the true heroes who aren’t for the money. They are a good amount of pro heroes who got captured by mafia groups to have power. Some of them show over time randomly at their doorstep after being spared by the mask individual Glitch. That’s the only information they are allowed to share about their interaction with Glitch.
Aizawa and the other leaders of the camp believe the individual took them close enough for them to walk to their camp. Aizawa suspects it is one of his former students whom he didn’t have any contract  ever since the infamous incident. Majorly of his students calls them to be traitors.
“I still don’t get why we never told the truth about what actually happened that day.” The purple-haired male looks to the side to see Eri outside away from any harm playing with Kota.
“Hitoshi, It was a quick agreement exchange of keeping our mouths close and follow whatever story they want to make up. She swore to keep her word on securing your guys safe within her presence.” Aizawa applies pressure on his forehead to relieve the headache.
Aizawa remembering back to the U.A dorms where you are smiling and being a normal teenager. The image of that student whom he watched over for months became dark. She was no longer a child, but an emotionless shell of what she should be.
The lifeless eyes staring back at him, covered in bruises and blood that wasn’t her own. She was carrying unconscious Eri. You were bathed by your enemy’s blood. The remaining light of innocence in your eyes had vanished from existence. It only reveals just cold, calculated eyes that were staring at his soul.
“Aizawa.”
💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣
I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!
Any thoughts/Feelings/Predictions that you have while out reading this chapter.
I would love to hear them! <3
If you wish to be tagged, do comment down below.
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youngbeezer · 3 years
Note
hi!! can I please request something?
going to a lake house, maybe friends to lovers with bowen byram?
thank you! 💗.
A/N: HI IM SO SORRY THIS LITERALLY TOOK 4 EVER!!! i was having such bad writer's block with also zero motivation, but i eventually put a little something together and i hope whoever requested this first off actually sees this bc seriously its been a good month of this sitting in my inbox but also i hope you like it :)
Word Count: 2940
Warning(s): kinda angsty in beginning, curse words, ends fluffy !!!
masterlist || join my taglist
These next few days is either going to turn out to be the best week of the summer, or the most awkward week of the summer...
I’m currently stuck in a car surrounded by couples on our way to a lake house in Colorado. Somehow I ended up being lumped into this chaotic group of professional hockey players and their drop-dead gorgeous significant others.
About a year ago at my local salon, I just so happened to be seated right next to a woman named Grace, who I immediately hit it off with. We became fast friends and are now basically inseparable at this point. Her boyfriend just so happens to play hockey for the Colorado Avalanche, Cale Makar. Now I have also grown quite close with Cale as well, since I am always at their shared apartment for Grace. At this point Cale is basically third wheeling us, instead of it being the other way around. Therefore I was also always invited to team parties and get-togethers, which prompted more friendships with most of the guys on the team and their respective partners.
Someone I have surprisingly grown super close with is Bowen Byram. As soon as Cale introduced us two, his blue eyes and raspy voice immediately drew me in. Straight away we bonded over common interests and that night we talked for almost three hours. After that, we were thick as thieves. So thick that recently I have come to the realization that I have caught major feelings for him along the way.
It has only been a few weeks since I have come to this realization and it has already started to affect our relationship. I definitely started to ignore Bowen a little bit when I first figured out my feelings because I was scared he would somehow find out or I would just end up blurting it out at some point. And the last thing I want is for my silly feelings to ruin such a great friendship.
Thus why this week can either turn out to be the best or the worst.
I’ve decided that at some point during this trip I need to confess my feelings for Bowen. He’s also seemed to notice the shift in my attitude towards him. I have become more closed off and not as touchy as we used to be. Bowen and I are both very touchy/feely types of people. So what seemed like just some harmless cuddling and play wrestling with each other, to me did very little to quell down my feelings.
For example, this morning when we were packing up the cars for the trip a group of us are taking to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse, Bowen went to wrap his arms around my middle from the back and I subconsciously flinched away at his touch. I know he definitely noticed my mood shift from the defiant pout that was resting on his face. After that I did what I do best, and ran away to the other car that was driving up and basically begged Nate to switch seats with me.
Which now leads to my current thoughts. The entire car ride up I have been contemplating on ways I could tell him, but each scenario just ended up with him telling me that he doesn’t feel the same, and our friendship essentially being over. Obviously I was just overthinking just a little, but I’ve never been stuck in a situation like this before-- and now we are going to be stuck in a lake house together for an entire week, so I am going to be forced to face this situation whether I want to or not.
“Yo. Earth to y/n?” Tyson draws, trying to gain my attention. I snap out of my thoughts as soon as I hear my name, and bring my gaze to the rearview mirror to meet Tyson’s questioning look. “We’re here.” He announces.
Susanna, Mikko’s girlfriend, adds on, “You alright? You seemed kind of out of it the entire car ride.”
I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts and notice that we are indeed here at the lake house we will be staying at for the next week. I clear my dried up throat before croaking out a weak, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t like long car rides.”
Both of them nod, content with my answer and exit the car to join Mikko in unloading all of the luggage from the trunk. I take a few more moments to fully get my head together after dealing with all my jumbled thoughts throughout the entire three hour car ride.
Jumping out of the car, the first thing I see is Bowen letting out a yawn and stretching out. As his arms raise over his head, some of his shirt rises up with it and immediately my eyes are drawn to the small portion of skin and v-line that is in front of me. Bowen then notices my presence and makes eye contact with me, giving me one of his adorable little smiles. I advert my gaze as quickly as I can so my obvious ogling isn’t as obvious and go to finally retrieve my luggage.
Yeah this was gonna be a long week.
After everyone got pretty much all settled into their rooms, we all ended up coming back together to sit around the firepit to chat and enjoy some drinks. For this trip that Tyson orchestrated there are in total ten people staying in the house. Me, Tyson, obviously since it’s his house; Bowen, Cale, Grace, Alex Newhook, Mikko and his girlfriend Susanna, and lastly Nate and his supposed new girl who will be joining us later on in the week.
Apparently a group of the guys and their partners have been taking trips together at the end of the hockey season for a while now, and since growing closer with the team this year, I graciously got an invite.
Since it was getting later and a little bit more chilly, I grabbed a random sweatshirt that I saw already laying around in the living room before making my way outside to join everyone by the firepit. Getting closer I noticed that the only seat available just so happened to be next to Bowen.
Cale and Grace give each other a not so inconspicuous knowing look when they see me approaching. As soon as I sit down, a question is being thrown at me.
“Whose sweatshirt is that y/n?” Cale brings everyone's attention to me with a growing smirk on his face.
“I don’t know, I just found it in the living room.” I give Cale a questioning glare, trying to figure what his endgame is right now.
“It’s mine.” I hear that same raspy voice that I love and know so well. I feel my face start heating up at the idea of wearing Bowen’s sweatshirt. Am I wearing his name on my back right now, and I just didn’t even think to check earlier?
“Oh, uh. Sorry, I can give it back to you, if you want it.” I stumble out, now feeling awkward and a little embarrassed about how flustered I am getting over a simple sweatshirt.
Bowen gives me a little smile before replying back, “Nah, it’s fine. It looks better on you anyway.”
I clear my throat and stumble out an awkward ‘thanks’ at Bowen and then turn my attention to Grace right next to me so I don’t embarrass myself even more. What I don’t see though is the way Bowen's face immediately falls when I turn my back on him.
Around midnight is when everyone started to make their way back inside the house to start getting ready for bed. I was mindlessly scrolling through my social media, so I didn’t notice that mostly everyone had already gone inside.
“Y/n.” I look up at the mention of my name to notice that Bowen and I are the only ones left outside.
Also noticing the intense gaze I am receiving from Bowen, I quickly gather my things and stumble out, “Oh my gosh I didn’t notice everyone left already. I should head inside as well.”
Bowen is quicker though because he grabs ahold of my wrist, halting me in place before I make my very obvious escape.
“Hold on, please. Can you please talk to me?” Bowen pleads out.
“What do you mean? We’ve been talking all night.” I countered, trying one last time to get out of this conversation.
“We’ve been talking as a group all night yeah, but you couldn’t even make eye contact with me. You know what I mean. What’s been going on? Did I do something?” Bowen frowned.
At that moment I felt so guilty. I’ve been so focused on trying to ignore my feelings that I have developed that I ended up pushing my best friend away and hurting him in the process. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. I knew I would eventually have to have this talk with Bowen during this week, but I just didn’t expect it to be on the very first night.
“Okay. Yeah, let’s talk.”
I lead the way down to the dock overlooking the lake and sit down to dangle my feet into the water. I know for a fact that Grace and Cale realized that we both haven’t come in behind them, so they are most likely snooping by the backdoor wondering what we are doing.
Bowen joins me, after slipping his shoes off and dangling his feet in as well.
“What’s been going on y/n?” Bowen asks again.
“I-I think I’m in love with you.” I blurt out. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I await any type of response from Bowen. Taking a peek over at him, I see the pure shock on his face. Probably wasn’t the best idea to start off the conversation with that.
Taking his silence as a bad sign, I start spewing out whatever I can to try and calm the anxiety coursing through my veins. “I-I think I have known for a while and I just tried to ignore it, I guess. But then I realized that I was just pushing you away, an-and I never wanted to do that. Our friendship means that absolute world to me, and I would hate myself if anything I did, or-or my stupid feelings jeaporized that.” At some point during my little rant, a few tears escaped. I turn my head away as I try to hold back on a full on sob breaking loose.
“You think?” He eventually breaks the silence.
Confusedly, I turned my head back around and let out a strangled, “Huh?” I see the corners of Bowen’s mouth start curving up into a tiny smile, confusing me even more.
“You said, you think you’re in love with me.” He pointed out.
My eyebrows raise in question and I give him a little shrug, prompting him to elaborate more.
“Well… I’m pretty damn sure I’m in love with you.” Bowen softly declared.
My breath catches in my throat and my mouth turns as dry as the Sahara Desert. Those were definitely not the words I was expecting to come out of his mouth. He chuckles at my surprised face and scooches a little closer to my body to wipe a stray tear on my cheek.
“Are you serious?” I whisper out.
“Of course.” He whispered just as softly back to me as his head inched closer to mine.
My heart pounds in my chest as Bowen’s hand comes up to cradle my cheek. All of our pent up feelings and emotions that we both have been too afraid to admit all come crashing together as our lips finally meet. He kissed me gently, almost carefully, but after all this time gentleness was not what I wanted right now. Bowen let out a low groan as I pulled him flush against my body, my fists bunching up the collar of his shirt.
Before this could go any further, we both pull away breathlessly, basking in what truly just happened-- just now realizing how much our relationship is about to change.
“Fuck.” Bowen breathed out, running his hands over his face. “If I knew that was what it was like to kiss you I would’ve blurted out my feelings the day I met you.”
My ears perk up at his last few words and it seems like he also realizes what he just admitted, as his cheeks immediately turn a rosy color.
“You’ve liked me for that long?” I bashfully question.
Bowen runs his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath of air before answering, “Yeah, I-I mean… yeah I have.” He stumbles out, awkwardly letting out a laugh.
I lean my head on his shoulder and connect our hands, feeling super content and never wanting this moment to end. We take a moment to just sit on the dock-- with our feet hanging in the water, hands intertwined; and bask in the feeling of finally letting our feelings out into the open.
“You know everyone in that house is going to have a field day when they find out.” Bowen mumbles against my shoulder, before leaving a lingering kiss on the exposed skin.
“Oh I wouldn’t be surprised if they all had a bet going or something.” I chimed. I raise my head that had previously been resting on Bowen’s shoulder back up to look at him, and see that he is already smiling at me. “What?” I drawled, feeling my cheeks heating up under his gaze.
“You wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” He asked hesitantly.
My cheeks now feel on fire as I ponder on how I want to go about this. I raise my eyebrows up at him in question as I ponder out, “Do you want me in your bed tonight?”
Bowen gives me an almost incredulous look as he voiced, “Of course I want you in my bed.”
I just give him a simple nod and push my body up in a standing position, reaching out my hand to prompt Bowen to join me. “Okay, let’s go.”
Bowen immediately shoots up from his sitting position, clinging onto my hand as we make our way back up the yard to the sliding glass doors of the lake house. Just as I predicted earlier, Cale and Grace were totally snooping. Actually, the entire house was snooping. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen trying to act casual as we walked in, but as soon as they noticed our conjoined hands, all hell broke loose.
“I fucking knew it!”
“Aw you guys look so cute.”
“Bout time.”
“Ha! Nate, you owe me fifty bucks.”
I looked over at Bowen with an unimpressed look, “Told you they probably had a bet going on.” Meanwhile Bowen has an incredulous look coating his face watching his friends freak out over his newfound relationship. Instead of questioning our oddball friends, Bowen just simply shakes his head, letting out a little chuckle.
“Alright I’m heading up, I can’t deal with these idiots right now.” Bowen gives me a quick peck on the lips before announcing his departure for the night. Most of the others also start making their way up to their respective rooms for bed, the guys putting on a show of making kissy noises and making a few chirps as they follow Bowen up the stairs.
Grace joins me by the counter, making a show of wiggling her eyebrows at me. I’m smiling like an idiot as Cale also joins us, chuckling at my lovesick expression.
“You’re welcome.” Cale smirked.
I scrunch my face up in confusion as I question him back, “For what?”
“For introducing you two, duh.” Cale teased. Grace smacks him on the arm with a tut, making a show of rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. “Alright, seriously I am happy for you guys though.” He eventually relents.
My cheeks heat up from the attention but also from the thought of Bowen and I’s new relationship. Grace grabs me by the shoulders and starts pushing me in the direction of the staircase.
“Obviously I’m happy for you too. All I’ve wanted is the best for you and I think Bowen is just that. And with that being said, go get your mans!” She sends me off with a quick smack on my ass. I giggle the whole way up the stairs on the way into Bowen’s [now our] room feeling extremely giddy and content.
When I enter the room, all the lights except for the bathroom are already off, and it looks like Bowen is already settled into bed. So, I quickly do my night time routine and change into my pajamas before making my way over to the bed I will now be sharing for the week.
Bowen is awaiting me with his arms wide open, which I happily cuddle into the second I am under the covers. He buries his head into my neck, leaving featherlight kisses here and there.
“I love you.” Bowen mumbles into my neck. I card my fingers through his hair and kiss the top of his head as I mumble back those same words, in complete awe over how fast my life has changed in one night. We both knew that we would eventually be together, it just took a little time and a trip to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse for us to figure it out. This week will definitely be one for the books.
Taglist: @barzysandmarnersbitch @handwrittenheroes @hockeyplayerstories @barzy-xoxo @gnemgn @joelsfarabees
Tagging some mutuals as well so this doesnt flop,,,
@2manytabsopen @bb-nhlqueen7 @frederikanderson @simon-edvinsson @coltonndach @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @pettypeteys @kentjohnsons @joekellys @mattybenierss
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