#I am feeling thing autistically

[kurtkunkleismybbg]

writing about destiel to forget about GO2

[whitegownsandflowercrowns]

Ok so I’m not trying to call anyone out or insinuate things but I really don’t like it when people have “oh my god poor helaena she doesn’t want to be at the funeral she doesn’t want to hurt team black her trauma is being exploited by her evil bitch mother and brother uwu” takes.

Because yes, Helaena is a much kinder and gentler person than most of the Greens. Yes, she was barely involved in the war. But, believe it or not, she is actually capable of independent thought and comprehension beyond being “the nice one.”

She watched her son be killed in front of her. Her daughter threatened with rape. Her other son told that she wants him dead. All because of her sister and uncle, people that have no war with her or her children, people that only two weeks ago were enjoying her company at dinner. You’re telling me that she feels no anger or resentment towards these people? At all? That nowhere, nowhere in the corner of her mind, nowhere does she want the people of King’s Landing to understand their brutality?

Look I know that people already think that autistic people are sweet little innocent uwu small beans who could never feel a negative emotion towards anyone in their life and who are incapable of comprehending anything as complex as politics and war, but this is getting ridiculous. And you know what? Maybe when the season comes out she will have been forced to go to the funeral, and I’ll eat my words. But for now, can we please not do this?

[rubberduckyrye]

Okay in all seriousness. There's something that I REALLY want to talk about as an open discussion with the fandom, but. This is not going to be a very nice thing to hear/talk about.

It's about how Gonta is treated by the fandom.

As a fan of all the V3 characters now, and as someone who has always been a fan of Gonta, and as someone who has many mental disabilities and two diagnosed neurodivergancies... I'm tired of playing nice about it.

You all need to stop being ableist towards Gonta.

I've mentioned in the past that I don't like shitting on personal interpretations. I don't like saying something is or is not canon because narration is just a big web of text that you try to decipher with your own personal biases, experiences, and thoughts. That's why two literary analysts analyzing the same text with the same literary criticism rules can come to wildly different conclusions--why people develop different headcanons from the same canonical information.

But one of the things that challenged my integrity is just how many people view Gonta as this innocent, naive, ignorant, baby boy who can do no harm/never has a complicated/dirty/violent/sexual thought in his life ever.

This incredibly ableist interpretation of the character bothered me for, well, obvious reasons (See: It's fucking ableist, need I say more?) but I never challenged it as harshly as I am now because to be frank, it's not my place to tell people how to HC a character. It still isn't. But I've pretty much given up on my integrity on the subject and have decided to go all in on discussing why this interpretation of Gonta is just. Really bad.

First of all, not to promote my own analyses here or anything, but I think this analysis I did of Gonta explains a LOT in regards to the ableism the cast gives him in canon. I also think that this subtle ableism is why the fandom is so bad with Gonta's characterization in headcanons and fanfic--because they've seen how the cast treats him, and they think it's normal. They don't see the microaggressions, they don't see the subtle ableism in the cast--they just see this big giant idiot who speaks like Tarzan in the English version (which... I don't actually know why people assume Tarzan (Thinking of Disney's version) is stupid. Like as a boy he had to reinvent the spear with no one to guide him on how to do it. He was able to strategize and outsmart "civilized" men in the final showdown. Still I digress) and don't see the literal genius behind his social awkwardness.

There is also another very important point I'm going to make in addition to this, and it's going to be very uncomfortable to Gonta fans who insist he's nothing but a sweet baby who only has pure thoughts. Especially to the fans who insist he "can't be sexual" or think it's weird to ship him with his peers.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but... Gonta blatantly has sexual desire and gets horny right in canon.

This is further clarified here:

It wasn't a matter of Gonta didn't want to touch her because touching someone in their underwear was inappropriate, or being flustered because she was in her underwear which is inappropriate...

It was literally a "weird feeling" that made him unable to approach her or touch her. A "weird feeling" that Miu makes pretty obvious as to what it was--sexual arousal.

He literally was sexually attracted to and felt sexual arousal from looking at Miu in her underwear. He had sexual feelings and thoughts about Miu. Why?

Because Gonta is a young man.

Gonta is a brilliant, talented young man who has normal human thoughts for someone his age--sexual desires, upsetting thoughts, complicated thoughts, ectect. He is not a child, he is not mentally stunted (I've been informed that people have literally said this on Ao3 for the NSFW Gonta fics, please for the love of god stop that)

I think the reason why Gonta fans typically want to keep him as a "pure baby child who can do no wrong" is because treating him like the young adult that he is makes it harder for them to justify Chapter 4. Every time I've seen a Gonta fan that hates Kokichi, it's always followed by the sentiment of "Kokichi manipulated and abused Gonta into killing Miu, so it's all Kokichi's fault." They're afraid of nuance and liking a character with the grey morality of genuinely thinking Mercy Killing the cast is a viable option, because it challenges their own morals about the character they adore.

To those people who read this and are upset: You can and should like Gonta! Gonta is a magnificent character who showcases the subtle way microaggressions can manifest and hurt people, he's a good-hearted person and a literal genius, he cares deeply for his friends and loves everyone with upmost sincerity.

But.

You need to re-evaluate your stance on Gonta if you think he's a stupid, naive fool who Kokichi manipulated. You need to re-evaluate why you think those thoughts, why you think Gonta being shipped with anyone is "Kinda weird" or "has weird consent problems" or "give you the ick." You have to challenge yourself and ask yourself uncomfortable questions in regards to why you treat Gonta like a child when canon has proven otherwise, why you think he cannot have violent or sexual thoughts, why he can't think mercy killing his class is the only way to save them.

This isn't an attack on you--but understand that these specific takes on Gonta? They are ableist in nature. They belittle and dismiss him, they treat him like a child, an idiot who can't think for himself--and you have to come to terms with the fact that Gonta is a far more complex character with complicated thoughts and feelings who is a young adult. Not a child. A young adult.

So again, ask yourself this: Why are you treating this young adult like he's a toddler?

[mightbeautistic]

Going back to interacting with allistics after solely talking to other autistic people feels like going back to your toxic boyfriend after dating a golden retriever boy

[autisticlee]

"just be yourself" has always been one of my most hated things to hear from someone. it may sound simple and easy to you, but when you grew up never able formed a single solid personality (because you grew up autistic or for some other reason) and/or have always felt more like 20 different personalities in a trench coat who fight over who is supposed to be in charge, that "simple" advice is so much less simple.....it can even seem impossible.

[nuppu-nuppu]

You know when you wanna desperately make new friends but the mortifying fear of being perceived by other people is too much to handle and what if I am actually just too shy for the rest of my life and nobody will ever know that under this timid and awkward exterior is a fucked up sweetie pie who just wants to share life experiences with people they care about

[faggotslime]

listen man, if my autistic ass isn't worth you making a small effort to verbally invite me to things 'hey we're going to XYZ, I'd love it if you'd come' and instead whenever I tell you I didn't show up because I wasn't invited your response is 'we keep telling you you're always invited' you should probably like. Re-evaluate if you're actually friends with me or if you just like my company out of convenience without the minimal effort I require to actually be friends with.

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

[sneez]

corvin

[id: two digital drawings of corvus from the video game paladins. he is a pale-skinned young man wearing a red and black caped coat with the collar pulled up over his mouth, and has brown hair with a white streak. the first image is a portrait of him from the shoulders up alongside a full-body drawing. text beside it reads 'guy who really needs to stim but isnt letting himself so hes just standing about looking intensely uncomfortable'. the second image is a full-body drawing of him holding his pistol and knife in an action pose against a background of scenery from the game. overlayed text reads 'I'M JOINING THE WAR AGAINST AUTISM ON THE SIDE OF THE AUTISM'. end id. ]

[mayashesfly]

When the RadioStatic obsession brainrot is so strong that you start overanalyzing every single frame in Stayed Gone and comparing it to the other duet Alastor had which is Hell's Greatest Dad so you could understand the similarities and differences between the two of them and how the visuals accentuate and allude to the idea that Alastor isn't taking his duet with Vox as seriously as with Lucifer based on the way the visuals was framed amongst other things.

The visuals is genuinely fascinating and leads to itself as to why we see Alastor's dynamic with Vox as different to Lucifer by the different ways they were framed against each other thanks to everyone who worked on Hazbin Hotel.

[daftpatience]

thinkging about enamel pinz

[jedibinx]

I made a silly poem to make me feel better about executive dysfunction

A little bit done is a little bit more than before,

And if you do a little bit again then there's a little bit more,

Do this over and over, again and again,

But the list is so long, and you panic, and then-

You see, sometimes we see so much stuff there to do,

And when we're choosing a start, we haven't a clue,

So then we stop still, overwhelmed and defeated,

Day after day until we're fed up of this repeated.

But instead of seeing forest, what if we concentrate on one tree?

See the trunk, branches, leaves and the roots for what they be,

Just one single tree standing tall, strong and still,

What if you start at the base, just one chop, chop, until-

A little bit done is a little bit more than before,

And if you do a little bit again then there's a little bit more,

Do this over and over, again and again,

And eventually you'll have all your tasks done in the end!

[fanthirtheen]

Spoilers for Full Moon

Before I even approach anyone else's reactions ( I haven't looked at Tumblr since the episode aired) I'm going to just fucking scream. I'm nervous to say any spoiler shit despite tagging this with spoilers (what if I don't tag well enough?) Just, I'm walking outside, I'm screaming. I watched the ending, from the about 20:20 to the end, three times. Stolas, I am going to chew on you. Blitz, I am going to bury you from the shoulders down until you have time to process this shit, record everything you say, and then make you listen to it three times, the same amount of times I just watched you make Stolas cry.

But also

Blitz cried first.

And Stolas wasn't watching.

And it doesn't even matter.

I'm going to go outside and scream until June.

[moe-broey]

One thing they don't tell you about the Senshi tulpa that WILL inevitably manifest in your mind to tell you to eat better is that. Every time I make myself a coffee via kuerig instantly, I can hear him. Lamenting the fact that I have become so accustomed to convenience and ease that even a standard coffee machine has become foreign to me. I am thinking about how to make coffee without use of a machine in the first place, I am wondering where my french press went, I can see him. In my mind. Showing me how to make coffee in The Dungeon. Dungeon Coffee.

[sideblogformentalhealtshit]

Am I the only one who despises "pervasive drive for autonomy" as an alternative to "pathological demand avoidance"?

PDA takes away so much of my ability to decide for myself what to do; it robs me of my autonomy. I struggle with doing things I enjoy because I make them into demands in my head, I can't watch weekly-airing shows because I tell myself that I have to, that I love this show, that I need to watch the next episode, and then no longer being able to. Because my brain has decided that it just Must go into fight or flight because... I am trying to decide what to do.

It just feels... gross, I guess, to dress it up as "i just have a strong sense of autonomy, i just don't like being told what to do ^_^" when it is genuinely disabling to me, not just in when other people try to influence me, but also when I want to do something and PDA prevents me.

[objektum]

Objectum people. How have you been doing? Any wins? Any happenings? New attractions maybe? How are your partners? Tell me