#I always return to it when I feel sad
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Okay but this

I love this page so much


I'm crying
#I always return to it when I feel sad#because I love them so much#They are so cute#all of them#Astral looking at the list and being sad that he is not in there is my favorite thing#with also the fact that Yuma says to the others that Astral is sad about not being in the list#He wants to be included!#and the fact that immediately he asks Yuma what is a phantom member has me in tears#Astral stop being so adorable I can't love you more than I already do!#This is also a very useful list to remember all the surname of the Numbers club#except for Cathy because she has no surname for unknown reasons#she is just Cathy#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#kotori mizuki#cathy katherine#tetsuo takeda#takashi todoroki#tokunosuke hyori#yu gi oh zexal#yugioh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal#zexal manga
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OH NO I'VE JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. It's so obvious how did I just catch it.
So Lestat and Armand meet up earlier in Memnoch the Devil, and Armand is wearing all denim and is super dusty. Lestat sees him and lovingly thinks about wanting to clean him up, do his hair, etc. Armand responds 'yeah, you're always wanting that, back in Paris you wanted to perfume me and comb my hair and put me in velvet and embroidery'. (see here for excerpts)
WHEN LESTAT GETS BACK NEAR THE END OF THE BOOK ARMAND IS WAITING FOR HIM! Wearing velvet and embroidered lace! He has left his hair down and uncut like it was back all those years ago in Paris, only it's cleanly washed. (see here for excerpts)
He.... he gave himself the Lestat-likes-it-when-I-look-like-this makeover while Lestat was out.
#lesmand#the vampire chronicles#memnoch the devil#armand#lestat de lioncourt#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL CRAZY. I FEEL CRAZY.#is it romantic? is it deeply sad? i keep swinging wildly between the two#on the one hand it's so fucking cute imagining armand giving himself a little makeover thinking how much lestat will like it when he return#on the other hand.... always always always molding himself into whatever style of object is desired by the men around him.#cute. and also. agonizing. it can be both i guess. that's the joy of armand.#i am sure this is not groundbreaking scholarship but i'm new to these books ok let me gasp at things everyone else already knows#rose reads tvc#interview with the vampire
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ppl are never gonna give me the same amount of thought and care i put into them. at some point i have to be either okay with those terms or just pull myself back.
#em talks#realizationnn things#except my bf and my bsf and my sister hehe.#i think i always care abt ppl a lot and give them sm and when i get nothing in return i feel sad#but like i should just move on!#even tho it means losing friendships
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i think about these deduction notes a lot.
#its so sad. he's giving it his all in everything he does. 20 years even#he's such a tragic character to me. that's one of the reasons why i like him a lot#i will continue to say this - he always gave his kindness and perseverance to others yet nobody ever returned it back to him#and that's why he snapped. can you blame him when nobody cared?#~ rambling#of course this is not to say i condone his act of exploding the golden cave. its just something to look at and feel pity for
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I would absolutely love for at least one of my friend groups to completely go all out for me for my birthday. The way girls at school get huge sashes and gift baskets from their friends. I've never really had that. I've never really had a group of friends band together to do something super special for my birthday aside from getting on call with my two best besties to play roblox. Which i guess is a bit disheartening because I've organized stuff like this for several people. I've put together calls so we could all sing happy birthday to someone and celebrate with them. Hell, not even a birthday celebration, but i once organized a going away party with my entire friend group for one of our friends who was moving to another state, because i loved them i wanted to them to know they'd be loved and missed by us. It would be nice to be on the receiving end of that but also it feels really silly to just Ask my friends to plan something special for me cause 1. Those are supposed to be surprises 2. I know it is My birthday and I have every right want to be treated like the center of the universe but I still feel very selfish asking people Hey can you make this day all about me and put effort into it please. Also it feels less genuine when people have to be Asked to celebrate me yknow. Idk maybe the realization that I'm turning 18 years old is finally fully kicking and that's what's got me down lately but man. For my birthday I really just want to know that I'm loved and wanted and not a nuisance that pisses people off every time I open my mouth
#Also and this is where I get really annoying but most of the time I don't get gifts from people who aren't my family#My last birthday i got gifts from two people out of my several friends and friend groups who really didn't do much#Other than wish me happy birthday or my two friends who always get on roblox with me#Which is also disheartening because i try to make gifts for everyone for their birthdays and christmas#If it's not something huge like the animatic and the animation meme and the attempted pmv I made then it's a thoughtful art piece#And if it's not that then it's at least singing them happy birthday and giving them a hug and letting them know I love them#Which I'm not gonna stop doing and I will never stop doing#I have too much love in my heart to ignore someone's birthday out of spite and I do not make things expecting something in return#Even if someone never ever gives me a birthday gift I will still give something to them every year because I don't want to be bitter#But I guess it just gets tiring after a while#Trying to do everything for everyone while barely anyone puts in the same effort for me#Again I'm not gonna ask anyone for a gift cause 1. Selfish 2. Disingenuous if it needed to be asked for#I guess I just wish more people valued me enough that they'd already do all this stuff for me#Make me gifts and treat me like I matter the most#Because I know i try to do that for everyone else#Idk I still feel selfish saying all this but also it's My 18th Birthday I think I deserve to be a little selfish#Man I need to go to bed midnight is always when I get ungodly sad over things I have no control over#harry osborn or whatever the fuck the new generation says /j
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HOLD ON YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT NANA 1... WHAT DO YOU MEAN

#i'm really upset rn that i can't figure out which way she's talking about the unrequited love going?#she's talking about nana 2 getting married to ren and trying to help her pick up the certificates#but does she mean 'maybe... yes this must be unrequited love' about her not loving nana 2 back???#or does she think SHE loves nana 2 but nana 2 doesn't love HER back?#or is she actually just referring to ren and nana 2???#in context i feel it makes more sense that she means she does believe nana 2 might love her now#but she doesn't feel the same which would be SO SAD#but unless nana 1 has changed quite a bit character-wise i feel it'd be almost more in-character for her to think she loved nana 2#and it wasn't returned??#but then at the same time she's gone through some shit and it never really got fully resolved between them when things went sour???#so if their feelings for each other aren't matching up totally anymore i can kinda see that too?#and it's like i was thinking... that nana 1 had to grow up in certain ways and finds nana 2 too immature in certain ways now??#arghhh this is why reading fan translations can be rough sometimes i feel they aren't always as clear#i will have to wait for the library to loan me this volume to check that version too....#13readsmanga#nana spoilers#nana#p
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im still thinking about yesterday when after the cinema i mentioned than when i get home i'll help one girlie from uni with her project because she's stuck to which one of my friends asked why am i helping some random girl instead of my roommate
#the thing that actually angers me the most is that first and foremost why should i do that#my response was that my rommate is not doing this project#but to be fair it's mostly because i always feel after helping her#takes my help for grated and can't even say thank you. zero understanding for the fact that i forfeited my free time for her#when i get the choice to help her or someone who yeahvi know only briefly but who is genuinely trying and it just doesn't work who asks for#help and thanks for when it's given to them then i don't mind going for the latter person#me helping is my good will and putting on the second plan my own things to do and my free time#the least i expect in return is understanding of the fact that i decide to spend this time on that person to help them#and not laughing it off or treating as some minor thing well it wasn't a minor thing to me#especially that when i need help i don't have anyone and have to take time to find solution myself#to be fair i don't know if im more angry or sad at this point#im slowly coming to a conclusion that i actually don't like being around my friends and don't like how they treat me#but i so don't want that to be true that im still trying and each time it turns out the same#sigh#the lady in those development/therapy meetings said that i should change people around me but easier said than done to be honest
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the perspective of looking at new jersey apartments again makes me glad im living where im at now, honestly ... ^^ ''
#i SO wish i could hop over there though ... the price of living is SOOO high and the pay doesnt match even a little#its bad everywhere .. but new jersey's got a special kind of sickness like that because of its nyc proximity#everyone lives there and commutes to the city like 1.5hrs away for the better pay . but i just lived there lol#i feel like compared to here everything in jersey's tinged an ''old'' way ..#i dont know how to describe it but EVERYTHING from the stores to the apartments has a ''grandma's house'' feel#a ''hasn't been updated in 40+ years'' feel#and austin's so new and booming. apparently. but i agree it doesnt have that old tinge to it#the apartment im living in isnt new. but it isnt old either. it doesnt have the feel to it#i thought it was just nostalgia speaking but looking at nj apartments today was like. oh wow. its nice to know im not going crazy#this same apartment in nj would be SO SO SO much more expensive. people here complain about prices (they SHOULD. its bad)#but looking at where i was and why i HAD to move elsewhere .. i remember now yknow. this place is a luxury i could never have had in nj#which doesnt mean its good. its sad. i wish things were different. i DO .. sort of .. wish i never moved out here to begin with#but im glad im here. i feel like ... you know when a hero goes on a quest and makes friends along the way and then .. doesnt return home ..#even though the quest was supposed to be a transitory period .. yknow .. maybe im just home now#atleast awhile longer. im happy calling here home awhile longer#i do kinda miss that old tinge to it. i always said everything in nj was like .. ''tinged yellow '' .. and it really is. yknow.#i just need to put some antiques and lighting into my apartment. lol. feels just like home
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*peppers my turtletitanshipping playlist with some break up songs because of the inevitability of them having to part ways when the time portal is completed*
#in my mind its like. an amicable split? they both knew mikey wouldn't be there forever. they were content to just have some fun#not realising just how well they'd click. and that it might even turn into -gasp- feelings adjacent to love#they knew there would always be an end and it's no one's fault things have to go down like this. it's just hard to say goodbye#especially knowing that it's goodbye for good.#for some extra spice to this sadness... after mikey returns to 2005 theo tracks down where 2105 mikey is buried and brings him some flowers#sits down by his grave and murmurs 'hello again beautiful.'#or is that too sad :3c#i mean what do u even do when ur summer fling leaves the current time forever and u know you'll never see him again BUT you found his grave#what do you do???? do you visit???? or do you not because you know you were only a tiny little scrap of his very long life?#is it weird to visit? when you only knew each other for about a year?#is it inappropriate to bring him flowers and talk to him as if you're some mourning spouse when you were casual boyfriends at best?
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We’re having an emergency meeting to discuss Chris Johnson and the whitest name ever
absolutely fitting for our white man now innit
#snap chats#speaking of White People and names tho.. i drove out to barnes and noble because if i stayed at my mom's any longer id go insane#and while i was here i read the entirety of My Brother's Husband. VERY good series it was so good i loved it...#its not in my budget today to buy the whole set but maybe one day.. mike flanagan i love you you're so happy and good..#WAIT IT GOT A LIVE ACTION SERIES ????? I HAVE TO WATCH IT LATER I WAS JUST THINKING IT'D BE GOOD AS A JDRAMA#what i did buy today tho was the second volume of The Yakuza's Bias since i loved the first one so much#and ive been PRAYING the second one'd come out soon#i also got another kirby blind box </3 its supposed to sit on your drinking glass but i didnt see who i got yet..#i hope its not meta knight. i love meta knight but i want some variety...#im hoping its the sleeping kirby one but it was hard to hear the difference so idk#and im not checkin til later so i doont get tempted to return what i got to get a new one like a freak ☠️#SO SAD THO when i was getting my stuff they didnt have any more butterfly bookmarks...#i always get one when i go out and sure i have more than enough bookmarks but now it feels weird...#anyway. im gonna get food i havent eaten all day... tho i did want chicken and soju later didnt i...#maybe ill just get something light here i just came here for the wifi honestly lol#god what else did i do.. OH THERE WAS THIS ONE MANGA.#i forget the full name but it had 'akane' in the title so of course i was like 'lol' and decided to read the blurb#IN THE STORY HER DAD'S NAME IS ARAKAWA ? but all of his teachers also have the surname arakawa but theyre not related#arakawa must be a ral impotrant name in the manga.... point is i lol'd#i almost wanna go back to. stopping this post now to do it LOL HANG ON BRB#AKANE-BANASHI THAT'S WHAT IT WAS CALLED and she wanted to be the best rakugo performer after her father's teacher#also named arakawa. As I Said.#failed everyone for no reason#maybe one day ill check it out.. always thought rakugo was a fine art...#anyway im rambling too much im gonna try to write a fanfic. no way in hell im drawing rgg in public LMAO#actually im gonna get food first.. as i said i havent eaten all day... ok bye#anon im so sorry if you ever read these tags LMAO I JUST LIKE TALKING ABOUT MY DAY
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im so CWCcoded
#anyway my apologies for gaslighting you all about not personal diary posting bc my dad just texted me goodnight and it made me sad#him and my mom both tried to call me all day I feel bad when I ignore them#bc I know they’ll be dead someday and they won’t be able to call me and I won’t be able to answer#and my brothers both tried to call me I know my mom narced that I was weird yesterday and now everyones scrambling to keep track of me#it’s very nice of them but I really do hate being reminded that I’m the family member that like#they’ve all quietly agreed is always going to have to be monitored and taken care of#I wouldn’t be surprised if Andy and Alex haven’t talked about who I’m going to going to live by when our parents are both gone#it was kind of funny Andy invited me to like go install a security camera with him today#I said no but I do think it could’ve been a fun experince#I was gonna see my mom but she didn’t want to go out again so I waited around until my dad tried to call me again#so then be brought me with him to a hardware store where he tried (and failed) to return paint or something#we love a schemer#and then we picked up Andy and got milkshakes but I was ill so he got me real food on the way home#but I’m going to have to find a way to throw it out tomorrow bc I didn’t eat that much of it and I don’t want him to be sad about it#and I have to clean my room bc Lydia will be here soon#I was weepy in the car and my dad kept saying it’s nice you’ll get a few days with her before the concert#I know :-(#to some extent I love that he’s so incapable of handling emotional moods bc he just puts on songs and complains about them#bc he knows I like to complain and I think he gets scared when I don’t talk and that’s his attempt at getting me to#I need to finish my costume and make bracelets and clean my room these seem doable#okay bye please don’t unfollow me#also I love the name doxing bc these are for me and me only and maybe burke when he logs on I love you#my posts
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#my birthday is coming up soon and it’s just a constant reminder how little ppl i have in my life that like care for me#all my really close friends live in different states and the friends that do live near me aren’t close enough to me to like care#i get envious when i see ppl on ig post their bday messages bc only like 3 ppl would do it for me#i know that is a shallow thing and social media isn’t everything but idk#i just feel like a lot of time im putting all the effort in friendships and i get nothing in return#it just makes me feel sad :(#i don’t like the fact that it always has to be me to initiate it#i’m sorry if it feels like i’m being ungrateful#it’s just always been like this
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FIRST | PREV | NEXT






Prince of Omens part 24
In a kingdom of 2 million people you’re bound to run into your ex....
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I’m working on part 25 now and I’m very excited to share it with you! But as I mentioned my Brightly Woven pages (the comic I’m the colorist on!) are due the first week of December so expect a slight slow in my updates until then! I haven’t forgotten you guys 💕 thank you so much for your support!
#aw ramsey :(#i know he’s the bad guy and it’s not the point#but i always feel sad when he’s depicted being so happy to see the brother he lost finally home and safe#only to hesr he wasn’t actually there to see him again#meanwhile crowley quietly dreading aziraphale’s return even#love it#prince of omens#go
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Emergency: Help Evacuate My Family From GAZA WAR
Dear Humanity,
I'm Haya from Gaza , from a family of 8 people: my parents, two sons, and four daughters (two of them suffer from allergies).
I've witnessed the evidence of the tragedy that has struck our lives in Gaza, where my family and I have survived amidst numerous previous wars. But today, we face the most dangerous and fierce battle in the current war. The urgent need intensifies for us, as we have nothing left and are unable to secure our basic needs such as food, water, and safe shelter.
Here is our story - On October 7th, our lives changed forever, my family and I evacuated from northern Gaza to southern Gaza, hoping to return soon, but it wasn't meant to be. Our home was surrounded, burned, and then completely destroyed, Our home, once a fortress of hope, now lay in ruins, a stark reminder of our shattered dreams.
The night before we left from the north to the south was terrifying. Shelling sounds were everywhere, making a loud noise that felt like it went through our souls. Every explosions shook the ground like earthquakes, sending shockwaves of fear through our trembling bodies. filling us with fear. The air smelled of destruction and blood, making it hard to breathe. When dawn came, we saw the devastation around us, realizing our home was now a symbol of loss and despair.
We ran into the streets and with each step we took into the unknown streets, we felt as if we were plunging deeper into the abyss of our shattered existence, leaving behind everything we own in our home: Clothes, important official documents, the car, and literally it's almost everything - the enormity of our loss weighed heavily upon us.
Our home it was where we found hope, safety, and made precious memories. Losing it felt like losing years of our lives, leaving us adrift amidst the wreckage of our shattered existence.
youtube
A brief video depicting the devastation that struck our home and our entire neighborhood in Gaza.
Desperate Plea: Escaping Gaza's Allergy Nightmare
I, Haya, suffer from severe allergy to penicillin-derived medications, and my sister, Amal, also suffers from severe allergies to medications from my family such as Paracetamol and Ibuprofen.
These allergies create a deep sense of fear and anxiety for us, as we live in a constant state of tension and fear of anything that may require a visit to the hospital. We fear being given inappropriate medications due to the unavailability of suitable treatments in Gaza because of war or lack of awareness and not informing the doctor of our allergies, which could lead to serious consequences threatening our lives.
MY Father Income


Our dreams are heading towards oblivion in the labyrinth of an uncertain future
My story, along with my siblings, represents a united team of four individuals, three of whom are skilled programmers and one graphic designer. We work as freelancers in the world of freelancing.
As for my younger sister, she is a student studying at the College of Architecture. She has always carried a big dream in her heart, a dream of being part of changing Gaza, of making it more beautiful and better. She looked forward to the day when she would receive her degree and start building this dream. But the beginning of the war changed everything. The destruction of infrastructure and universities cast shadows of despair over her dreams.

When I think of my brother in Belgium, I can't help but feel deep sadness. He has been suffering from unbearable anxiety and insomnia since the outbreak of the war. Sleep eludes him at night, and his physical and mental health collapses under the weight of these heavy burdens, negatively affecting his performance at work. Problems and challenges pile up in front of him without the slightest opportunity for rest.
We all feel psychological pressure and extreme anxiety. The war hasn't been limited to external attacks but has deeply infiltrated our daily lives. We search among the rubble for a little safety and the basic resources for survival. Every day comes with a new challenge that we must overcome.
As we sway amidst the rubble of shattered dreams, our souls wrestle and our hearts beat strongly challenging the ravages of war.
Our parents earnestly seek a way to rescue us from this hell, feeling the heavy responsibility for every moment we spend under the shadows of fear and destruction. They dream of a safe place where they can build for us a better future, filled with security and hope, for we deserve life in all its meanings of comfort and peace.
Perhaps this fundraising campaign represents a light in the midst of darkness, it is indeed the only hope we cling to firmly.
I appeal to the world as a whole to hear my cry and the mournful cry of my family in Gaza. We need the helping hand that reaches out to wipe our tears and build a bridge to safety.
Your donation is not just a donation; it's an opportunity to rebuild life and brighten a better tomorrow. Be part of our hopeful story, for we need your hand to start anew.
The purpose of the fundraising campaign
The goal of this fundraising campaign is to rescue my family - my parents, my siblings, and me - through the Rafah Crossing to Egypt, which currently requires $5000 per person. This campaign is our only chance to stay alive, and I humbly request your assistance at this critical time. I will provide you with a comprehensive breakdown of the expenses, committing to transparency and clarity.
All of our important links are here https://linktr.ee/hayanahed
Verified by :
⭐️ operation olive branch, number 26 on their spreadsheet. (On Master list)
⭐️ Project watermelon,line 249 on their spreadsheet. Or you could see it as number 212 here is the photo for more clear proof
Thank you for your kindness and support.
.جزاكم الله خيراً
yours sincerely;
Haya Alshawish.
#palestine#free palestine#donations#donate if you can#please donate#gofundme#go fund them#donate#donation#go fund her#palestine gfm#gaza gfm#gazan families#fundraising#go fund me#fundrasier#save gaza#save palestine#please#please help#help gaza#mutual aid#donation match#charity#go fund him#gaza#gaza strip#emergency#hope#important
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You ever been told something about someone you were close to that made you sick to your stomach and almost threw up?
#my friends creepy ass dad was a fucking sicko and Im leaving it at that#i was talking with my mom about stuff and asked a question about it and ehhh#its also basically been confirmed that my great great uncle actually killed himself (was I lied to as a child?)#you always wonder why when you hear stuff like this ya know?#kinda makes me sad... apparently me and my uncle were very close and I was a bit too young to remember it#also feeling regret about not visiting family more often before great great aunt died#but what can you do#that's what photo albums do. why do we keep photos? why wouldn't we?#humans are sentimental and many cultures have entire days dedicated to remembering loved ones#people used to pose with the dead for photos#so wild#my babysitters house has gotten so small... or maybe I've grown. there's ghosts in that house#like there are ghosts in all places. your memories play and you see those ghosts. flashes of another time#a time long gone and never to return. not spiritual ghosts but time ghosts. literally zeitgeists#like walking through a memorial or a museum or wearing an old hat or even watching an old YouTube video#you can see ghosts of yourself amoung you. I think that's nostalgia... Ghosts. ghosts of buildings like the WTC#houses you see in dreams that no longer stand. their residents no longer alive.#not all ghosts are pleasant. those are traumas. trauma haunts you like your run of the mill Halloween specters#idk man. I guess I just have feelings after spending my day with ghosts
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Question answered! Thanks OP you fucking idiot!
I am actually a bit sad that the answer turned out to be "mainstream media good" and "fanwork bad" though. :(
Was hoping for a more interesting definition of problematic beyond "things I like are fine, and things I don't like are not fine!" I guess I was being too optimistic about OP having sense.
i recommend being a fan of 1 problematic piece of media at least once in your life
#wincest...that's supernatural right?#Is that the ones with the twins?#I can't remember#either way question answered whoop!#but also sad it was so simple in the end#I feel like OP is probably reacting like Spongebob in that pic on the calmest rollercoaster ever. XDDD Very apt#actually why is it always the weirdly controlling ones that think people should watch something problematic?#They demand that people follow their orders in the notes...but they also demand people watch things that might be uncomfortable for them#but then they also think people who go around demanding things from others should not be on the internet#so...OP is basically doing the exact same thing as that hypothetical 32 year old Julia themselves...#but it's okay when they're doing it I guess?#“Do what I say but when others do this then I hate them!” situation? XD#fandom is as contradictory as ever lol#incest mention tw#paedophilia mention tw#abuse mention tw#I get what they mean about sounding like a wannabe villain though#OP definitely sounds like one...I wonder if their name is Julia. O_O#For those who might still be confused: OP is basically complaining about people not behaving the way they personally want them to#One of their complaint is that other people complain too much about other people not behaving the way they personally want them to#Yes it's very ironic#No I don't think they realise the irony so be gentle with them y'all!#no I dunno if OP is proship or anti or whatever other labels people are using these days don't ask me ^^;;;#And yes I'm very confused by the random insult they tacked on at the end too since they were just answering my question prior to that#still I work under the principle that if someone sends me an insult then I must return the flavour even if their hostility is very random#P.S. Yes OP is insisting that TV shows with incest and abused etc is okay but fanworks with incest and abuse etc is not okay#I don't think they've realised their hypocrisy in that either...#No I do not agree with OP they're very narrowminded
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