#the thing that actually angers me the most is that first and foremost why should i do that

[drysauce]

im still thinking about yesterday when after the cinema i mentioned than when i get home i'll help one girlie from uni with her project because she's stuck to which one of my friends asked why am i helping some random girl instead of my roommate

[iiheartarc]

MY TAKE ON THE CAITVI DISCOURSE

total wordcount: 1591

I will say that I've briefly commented on their dynamic in the past, but it was worded really badly so I feel like I need to defend my writing skills a little bit as well with this, but that's just a sidenote. 💀

I think what a lot of people are missing when people do criticise CaitVi is that they aren't necessarily hating on the ship, it's what writing choices have done to it.

I'm not even going to even say I'm a CaitVi hater, I'm not (S1 CaitVi my beloved, you deserved better), but I do think the choices that writers made this season heavily effected how audiences portrayed the ship, even including myself.

Idk I hope this insight might give some people more perspective on why CaitVi became so hated in this season, people rlly need to start looking at both sides and not taking criticism as a personal attack. It really could've been avoided too if the writers had added more time or extended the series onto a third season, but that's another issue on its own.

1. Caitlyn hits Vi

I really don't get why people are so quick to defend Caitlyn on this one, especially considering the amount of hate Vi got when she hit Powder. Are both inexcusable? Yes. But I do think that the situation is a little different when it's a fifteen year old child who had just witnessed the death of her entire family and a twenty something year old woman who took out her anger and grief on the woman she loved because she blocked her shot.

I do think that people also do ignore the immense amount of trauma that Caitlyn suffered at the hand of Jinx, but unlike when Vi 'abandoned' Powder, (again, that's a whole other conversation, we know she was not abandoned), Vi was not that direct source of anguish to Caitlyn the way Powder was to Vi. (Pls lmk if you want me to expand further on this)

Again, not excusing Vi hitting Powder, I'm pointing out the differences.

It's then also incredibly tone deaf when Caitlyn hits her on two more occasions with the same gun, the third time being played off as a joke. It really doesn't come off well, especially when Vi had been a victim of police-brutality even before the abuse she faced at the hands of the enforcers in Stillwater.

And then, even after all this, it's never addressed. It's brushed over, like Vi's entire trauma in the show, the most we get is Caitlyn brushing her hand over Vi's abdomen in the cell scene. Again, can be taken as an apology, but I think that for some very specific things (like hitting your romantic partner), verbal apologies do need to be made in order to communicate healthily and somewhat build a healthier relationship.

I don't really want to talk about the abusive implications of this, because I don't think I'm someone who can talk about it with a full understanding because that's something I've fortunately never been through, but the blatant disregard and shunning of abuse survivors when they pull up the red flags raised because of this is disgusting. In real life, or if it had even been someone else in the show, if the ship had been a heterosexual relationship, people would call Caitlyn an abuser and would be outraged that Vi had been paired with her in the end. But I digress.

1. The cell sex scene

Initially I hadn't been too bothered about this when I had first watched the episode, but when you really think about it, it shouldn't have happened. Hell, they could've had sex in Caitlyn's office and half of the criticism wouldn't have happened, the ship wouldn't be so hated and the fandom wouldn't be half as divided as it is now (from what I've seen).

First and foremost, the cell.

All I can say is wtf. It was such a poor choice it's actually unfathomable to me now. I don't know why the writers thought that it'd be a good idea for Caitlyn and Vi to have their first time in a jail cell, not only the one Jinx had been locked in, but the one Vi had herself been locked in for what we can assume to be hours. The place of her abuse should not be somewhere where the writers could possibly think would be a suitable for a victim to have such an intimate moment with her partner.

Then there's the fact that Vi had looked to have had some sort of breakdown, we see she's sh and there are literal crates in the wall from where she punched it as well as her knuckles bleeding. As soon as she sees Caitlyn, there's a parallel to when they first met, to when Vi is quite literally caged. She's clearly not in the right state of mind, and so when the scene eventually happens it inevitably comes off as wrong because Vi is incredibly emotionally vulnerable in that moment.

"But Vi initiated it!" That still doesn't make it okay. I do think that this also came with an issue of timing, but then again, as I mentioned earlier, it literally could've been in the office as they argued and it would've been recieved so much better then the cell scene was. Vi wasn't breaking down, she wasn't locked in a reminder of the abuse she faced and her sister hadn't just ran off to do goodness knows what (in Vi's POV, us as the audience know exactly what she's about to do). They could've even have it fade to black and cut to the next scene tangled in bed doing whatever they would've been doing in the cell, Vi would assumably have had time to calm down, would be having sex in a warm and safe environment, and guess what? The audience would've been even happier.

Sure there would've been criticism, but Vi could literally save a thousand babies and adopt them all and still face hate, because a lot of the hate is being directed to Vi too because of the situation with Jinx. That, again, is a whole other situation.

3. "Dirt Under Your Nails"

Again, for the love of god, there can be so many takeaways from this sentence but do not be surprised that people didn't like it. I didn't, it made me cringe horribly.

And before people throw 'media literacy is dead', this whole post (practically essay), is analysing a piece of media that I love. To be literate, you can draw different interpretations and conclusions and that's exactly what I'm doing. It's like saying literacy is dead if two people were to disagree on what the meaning of Macbeth's quote 'I am in blood' meant.

I digress.

I think the main issue here is the class difference between Vi and Cait. Caitlyn is from the aristocracy, a direct heir to a position of power in Piltover, while Vi is lower class, effected indefinitely by growing up in poverty. Even though she grew up as Vander's kid, they were still 'scraping for scraps'. The wealth margin between the two is almost immeasurable, and with the difference in money comes a difference in experiences, as we - the audiences - know.

It especially comes off wrong considering the class tensions and political themes heavily focussed on within the first season. The conflict between Piltover and Zaun, the abuse of power and exploitation of Zaunites by both topside and the chembarons, the prevalence of police brutality on the streets of the Undercity. Again, Vi is someone who is directly effected by this, while Caitlyn came into this blissfully naïve. She did learn yes, and in s1 she was so determined to help, but when then this progress reverts into her calling zaunites 'animals' and using the grey as a weapon, it again makes Vi's words feel uncomfortable.

Again, I think this was a massive timing issue, I would've love to see Caitlyn succumb fully to a villain arc. It would've been so interesting to delve into.

I think Vi has always had the image of herself that she'll always be viewed as less by Piltover, that she herself views herself as less. She says it herself to Vander in s1 ep2 while they're on the bridge, "I grew up knowing I'm less than them." So when she then says as her final words in the show, "I'm the dirt under your nails" obviously, that's going to come across as tacky.

People are free to think of romantic connotations for this, I won't stop you, but when you think about how the show was so focussed on class tensions, police brutality, oppression and exploitation, it doesn't come off right. Idk, that's what got me so interested with the show in the first place, the way these themes were explored so deeply but subtly in a way that didn't feel forced, so Vi's words really rubbed me the wrong way.

Conclusion

So I hope everyone that read somewhat gets where I'm coming from, this was my attempt to try and explain what I think needed to be, badly. Again, you can like the ship, I'm not saying I don't, but it also needs to be acknowledged that there is so many things that could've been worked on properly, done properly or addressed properly, and ignoring criticism won't help these issues to be fixed in the future.

Feel free to ask any questions and thanks for reading this long ass rant :)

[tfa-archived]

Thinking about what a sweet, kind, silly and gentle hearted person Poe is until you piss him off and once that switch is flipped, he's a force to be reckoned with

Oh, did you mean? my most favorite? facet? of his character? that makes me lose my marbles? and also happens to be maybe my favorite character trope of all time? that? Okay I hope you were expecting an infodump because what-ho! that's what's happening, I have come prepared and with receipts, let's fucking go on how Poe Dameron is a goddamned force of nature and how the galaxy should be really fucking thankful his loyalty is first and foremost to the Resistance and to the Light, because if it wasn't...well, I'd dread to think, but it wouldn't be good for anyone else.

The fun thing for me, is that it has always been a part of Poe's character, right from The Force Awakens -- it's subtle, but it's there, hidden between the sassy quips in the face in danger and the professionality of Commander Dameron; little fleeting moments that tell you that Poe Dameron is not someone to be trifled with at all, including one of his very first scenes:

I'm 90% certain that Poe's gaze actually lands first on Tekka's body here, before lifting it up to glare at Ren - and that's more than just a defiant glare, that's a look of loathing. Which fits, considering that I do believe the Force Awakens novelization confirms that Poe rushes in without thinking, and acts on sheer anger/rage when he goes to shoot Ren after Ren kills Tekka.

(More lengthy thoughts under the cut, I was not kidding, I saved a dozen images for this).

And that look is far from the only moment in TFA that clearly goes "oh. yeah, Poe can be scary when he wants to be", there's this frankly delightful moment during the trench run when Poe sees a fellow pilot perish while covering him:

and then moments later, when Poe flies into the heart of Starkiller to destroy the oscillator, we get this shot:

that's far more than just determination/focus, he's angry. and he has every goddamned right to be - he was just held captive and tortured for (??) days, and this monstrosity just destroyed an entire fucking planetary system, and the very Republic that Poe has spent his entire adult life believing the inherent values of, that he thought could genuinely improve. Never mind the detail that Poe probably likely spent time on the Hosnian System, if he didn't live there temporarily during his time in the Defense Fleet.

But these shots makes it clear where the comic gets the idea from that the First Order might, y'know, actually be. A little bit terrified of Poe Dameron:

He's a serious threat, and ruthless when it comes to the First Order. People joke a lot about Poe being reckless, but I don't see a lot of recognition for the fact that he can be ruthless - he sees point b and dives straight at it, and he's absolutely relentless in his determination to take the First Order down.

The quickest possible way to enrage Poe is inaction or injustice. We see this clearly in the Last Jedi, when he believes Holdo is essentially leading them to their deaths and has thrown the Resistance away:

but we also see it as far back as Before the Awakening by Greg Rucka:

This conversation carries on for a page or so more, I think, with Poe arguing against the New Republic's decision to not act or investigate further (it's also what prompts him into going rogue to investigate on his own, which leads Leia into recruiting him for the Resistance).

And we've even seen it in material as recent as Free Fall, which means this is a character trait Poe has had his entire life:

(these do not paint my girl in a great light but like she's fucked up okay!! and being groomed into taking her mother's place it's fine, it's fine, she's my fucked up little blorbo)

anyway. so this is Poe when he's, probably about 16? 16 going on 17 here, and this is probably the angriest he's ever been considering how shocked he is about the chill in his own voice (which if you were ever curious why I say Poe's anger runs cold, it's because of this scene right here). He's so enraged by the injustice being carried out by Sotin, that he's genuinely - for the first time in the book - considering actually killing someone. And he gets into a screaming match about what the right decision is with Zorii.

(he also gets to punch Sotin later, by the way, if you even care. It's glorious. I love my favorite character who decides murder is okay if said murder is in question a guy who deals in the slave trade)

But also.

My favorite instance of this, ever, which rewrote my fucking goddamned brainchemistry in 2017 when I read it and made me have to step away from my computer and honest to god pace the length of my house to walk it off, is his confrontation with Terex in issue #13 of the Poe comics.

Because you know what?

This entire fucking exchange is personal, and almost/pretty much outright vindictive? Like at this point, Poe has solidly won this round - Terex has finally been defeated, and all Poe has to do is hand him over to the First Order. He knows, in doing so, Terex will likely be killed, and after who knows how long of Terex's bullshit meaning Poe couldn't trust his squadron, and the fact that L'ulo just died - well, Poe's not real broken up about it, which is fun in itself.

But then he asks Malarus if he can have a moment with Terex before he hands him over and Poe....uses that moment to gloat.

And y'all know me i don't use words like that for Poe but like. he kind of does? he asks a moment alone with terex specifically so that he can taunt Terex that he won, that Terex didn't beat him, and that in trying to take Poe down, Terex cost himself everything (a fact Poe happily rubs in his face), and even adds that "and when I give you to the First Order, I bet they'll take the rest."

So like. Yeah.

Poe knew full well they'd likely kill him, and spends the next few issues full heartedly believing that Terex was dead. And he taunts Terex with it here in this moment. It is TRULY glorious and honestly had 17 year old me's little head spinning because it was such a subversion of what I thought Poe would do -- but he did! He didn't try to figure out a way to spare Terex's life, and he used his final moments with Terex to make sure Terex knew that Poe was fully aware of what the choice he was making meant.

It's fucking DELICIOUS.

And I also love this panel from earlier into the issue:

Because again, it's a great illustration of how Poe can come off cold because of the art choices Phil Noto made here: look at the jacket. It's zipped up all the way to Poe's neck (a rarity for Poe), and just generally gives him this very closed off, cold appearance because he's at his wit's end in this issue, and he is angry about the circumstances Terex has forced him into.

So...yeah. Poe Dameron is a sweet, compassionate, silly guy who makes the worst fucking puns you've ever heard this side of the galaxy. He loves his droid, wears his mother's wedding ring with the intent to give it to the right partner someday, and loves all of his friends full heartedly and is generally the most tactile, affectionate person you will ever meet. He's pretty much everyone's best friend, because he has that kind of charisma and ability to make anyone feel like they're the most important person in the galaxy.

But Poe Dameron is also the man that the First Order seems genuinely intimidated/afraid of. He's the man that destroyed Starkiller base, and toppled the most powerful crime syndicate in the galaxy when he was just 17 years old. He is not someone you ever, ever want to piss off, because for all his warmth and love, Poe has an anger that runs cold, and when he hates something - it's just like when he loves something, he doesn't go half-way.

General Organa isn't the only Resistance general that can be absolutely terrifying in her own right as much as she can be gentle and loving. It's just that Leia's the only one anyone ever notices, because...well, Poe's silly and funny and usually kind of easy going.

And the fact that people underestimate him is what makes him that much more dangerous.

[dchuntress]

this is an old analysis from me but yeah

i think initially, huntress was deeply motivated by revenge when she first started out. her family was assassinated brutally in front of her when she was eight, so at nineteen years, she first resurfaced as the huntress to avenge her family's annihilation by hunting down mafia mobsters, especially the ones responsible for her family's murder. her first and foremost goal has always been specifically to wipe out organised crime families from gotham city.

when she finally took revenge on specifically her family's killer, huntress' anger and thirst for revenge dissipated. she was still angry and murderous, yes, but... her vision wasn't red anymore. this was the beginning of her journey as a person.

the creation of the facade of huntress was a coping mechanism more or less; the mask, it shields her on all levels. murder is not something she has ever enjoyed, it's the last resort. after years of being used, being silenced, being unheard. witnessing her entire family die at eight years suddenly is absolutely traumatising, yes, she has immense survivor's guilt from that. but her pain didn't begin there. we must remember she was born into a mafia family. blood cries for blood. an eye for an eye. mob family vs mob family.

helena's relationship with her family and her opinion of them is complicated. families are complicated normally, you love them and they love you but sometimes you can't stand them. her parents were very loving and caring towards her and her brother, yet her dad held misogynistic beliefs and her mom cheated on him and hel is actually the product of an extramarital affair.

presently, helena's motivations start to become more and more altruistic over time, expanding her fight for justice and against crime to prioritise helping the innocent people of gotham, most importantly. her altruistic motivations grow even stronger when she becomes a schoolteacher, deciding to dedicated her civillian life to helping children of all backgrounds and showing them the path of light in this hell city.

however, as helena rescues children and victims of trafficking and other such horrifying incidents, things start to hit a bit too close to him.

you see, she became a victim of cr at the age of just six at the hands of one of her father's rivals; at that age, she may not have had the words to express what happened but she understood very well what had happened to her and it impacted her deeply. every time she revisits that part of her life, it only sickens her more; time does not heal. if anything, it only makes this hurt of her worse because the older she grows, the more she understands just how fucked up that incident is.

that's why she's still so angry now. innocent lives, especially children's, should never be simply toyed with like that and she hates, hates, HATES predators who leech on that so mercilessly, to just destroy lives for fun. that's why the huntress must remain destructive and indestructible, to take down these beasts.

at the same time, it's wearing her down; she wants to move on, she doesn't even want justice for herself anymore — she just wants to forget all of her past, she just wants to be able to pretend she's had a normal childhood and move on, she wants to move forward already.

[unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix]

Forst of all, I adore Hotch when he told Reid that if he has to be mad at someone he should be mad at him! He literally told him that JJ and Emily are the last people to blame in that mess but Spencer was just like nah and still thought is was okay to blame JJ. Who followed orders. To protect her best friend. And also suffered from that secret.

But yeah lets just ignore the fact WHY JJ did that. I think Reid fans focus to much about JJ saying that Spencer was mad bc he couldn't control his feelings or something and never thought about how he hurts JJ when he said he almost took drugs again and blames her for it.

I think both were in the wrong for saing the things they said in that scene. But I think the fans makes JJ's words a bigger problem than they ended up being and ignore that Reid's words also hurted her and blames her for something that where out of her control.

I agree with all of this! I think fans, especially those of Reid, need to pay attention to all of this. First and foremost, if JJ told Reid or anyone else on the team, it will put the risk of their lives at the hands of Doyle, which means even Reid would be dead if he knew. And I’m pretty sure fans will still hate JJ and Emily for that too.

From what I remember of the episode, Reid in the entire ep began saying hurtful things towards JJ with snarky comments and JJ tried to ignore most of them. In fact, the first time she notices that Reid ignored her and Emily when she asked if he didn’t go to brunch, she said “he hates me” and Emily tells her to let him be and JJ does that.

When they’re partnered together, JJ was talking about the details of the case and Reid decided to say “Emily was buried underground and no one seemed to notice”. He started saying something and JJ wanted him to talk about it bc she knows he’s having a hard time expressing his feelings. He only keeps ignoring her and outright said that JJ had been faking her tears the entire Doyle situation. In that same scene and onwards, he continues making all these remarks towards her and she ends up trying to push them aside.

JJ’s first few approaches were actually a lot more appropriate than fans make it out to be. Considering the setting of where they are: at work. They have to be professional even around the local officers, and everyone at work were uncomfortable and tense. It seems that JJ was trying to talk to him in a mature manner of trying to get him to open up about his feelings the first few times and if he didn’t want to talk, she decides to give up and move on with the case. The next scene, she clocks on his behavior and tries to get on his level of pettiness, to see if he would react bc if he didn’t respond the first time, she would have to use a different approach. Nothing happens then.

The next scene, JJ confronts Reid and tells him straight (not harshly at first) that they needed to talk. Then, she finally gets fed up and says the whole “you couldn’t profile us” thing, knowing that they will get him to talk. It wasn’t that she knows he couldn’t profile her or Hotch; that was her only tactic left. She used it as a last resort, she wasn’t smug about it and what happens? Reid actually responds back.

They could’ve dealt with this issue outside of work and JJ has already been trying to get them to speak in private from the beginning. Even Hotch pulls Reid aside and tells him he could take his anger on him instead of JJ, and Reid pretty much ignores all that, and this scene happens before the whole argument, if I remember correctly. JJ didn’t even know he was considering using Dilaudid again that time bc he didn’t know how to express his feelings at the times he cried at her house, and she wanted to be in denial that he was thinking about relapsing, at least that’s how I saw it. Because if something did happen to Reid whether or not it was because of that, JJ would never forgive herself at all, even though as you mentioned, it would be out of her control.

I’m not dismissing him considering/almost relapsing or his anger. In fact, the way this whole ep was written or how the writers choose to gloss over everyone’s frustration the whole arc was questionable and disappointing. It was more of how fans reacted to this whole thing, how the situation could’ve been handled outside of work or in private because it would affect the team working the case (which was appropriately handled by Hotch and the first few times by JJ), and what could’ve happened if the whole team was in on the secret of Emily being alive the entire time.

[metamorph6se]

INTRODUCING: The Eras Legacy, by Taylor Swift

first and foremost, hi! i've been playing this legacy on my own by now, and actually lost what i had of the first generation because i changed saves, but i thought i should stop being a ghost here and actually post something and interact!

like i said, i lost a lot of stuff so i'll work with what i have now and explain later what i don't.

FEARLESS: Juliet McGrath

❝ in your life you'll do things greater than dating a boy on the football team, i didn't know it at fifteen ❞

straight, esfj

was the youngest child of four before her mom died, when she was just a toddler. her dad became obsessed with work after and she and her brothers were basically raised by her big sister

was kicked out after she became pregnant at fifteen by her boyfriend and next door neighbour, jesse mcgrath. she was welcome in by her big sister, abgail, who moved out for college and stayed there for the whole duration of the pregnancy, with she and her boyfriend still finishing high school,

the triplets were born and jesse worked long hours as an athlete to provide for her and the kids. after they have grown a little, she hired a nanny so she could finish university, but dropped out to pursue her career as a singer

she became a global star, moved out to del sol valley where she currently resides. she and her husband are known for their big parties and the love they have for the triplets, even if some feel as like she has a favorite daughter...

LOVE STORY: Jesse McGrath

❝ marry me, juliet, you'll never have to be alone. i love you and that's all i really know ❞

straight, esfp

was a football player most of his life, retired recently and is now a businessman.

did what he had to do to support his wife and is very devoted to her, but still feels like he was too young to marry. maybe that's why he has some issues regarding fidelity, even if he never acts on his desires.

favors johanna a lot because he feels like juliet doesn't like her as much as her other children, and as she is also an athlete, she is the one he connects with the most

likes dogs a lot

DEAR JOHN: Johanna McGrath

❝ dear John, I see it all now that you're gone. don't you think I was too young to be messed with? ❞

doesn't labels herself yet, enfj

has bpd and had several behavioral issues when she was younger, so now everyone around her has that impression that she's a super mean and agressive person, when she's not

has a lot of anger issues and a strained relationship with her sister emma because of that, culminating to the point where she destroyed emma's school project. she fought a lot with violet when they were younger too, even if now their relationship is okay

obssessed with ballet and becoming a prestigious ballerina ever since she was little, and will go to any lenghts to fulfill that goal

has a boyfriend that she loves a lot, alexander zhang. they met a party that he was invited because he's the brother of her best friend, beatrice. he was talking with her sister emma when they met, she doesn't know that he's in love with her sister, though.

INNOCENT: Violet McGrath

❝ i hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new ❞

lesbian, non binary, uses they/them pronouns

discovered themself as a pre-teen and came out, their family was very supportive, especially their sister, emma. that's why they support emma so much even when she's wrong: because emma was always there for them.

they're autistic and struggles a lot with communication and making friends. their special interests are science and pokemon.

is in love with nani kealoha and doesn't know how to tell her yet

SPEAK NOW: Emma McGrath

❝ please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you ❞

bisexual, enfp

has adhd and hiperfixates a lot on fantasy books. she dreams since whe was little of becoming a famous author. some of her favorites include red, white and royal blue, they both die at the end and the song of achilles

currently works as an influencer as a part-time job

met her best friend, alexander zhang, during a party the triplets threw when their parents were away. they were smoking weed together and laughing and she never felt that way for no one else, but she was not prepared for a relationship with anyone. that's why she introduces him to her sister, and they start hanging out, but it's nothing serious at first

during a halloween party that's thrown by her parents, she and alexander decide to go as tuxedo kamen and sailor moon together, he approaches her and they hook up. after that, he tells her that he and her sister just became boyfriend and girlfriend, and she almost throws up because she had just betrayed her sisters.

she decides to not tell her because she doesn't want to jeopardize even more her relationship with her sister when she didn't mean any harm by what she did. now she feels that she's catching feelings by alexander, and doesn't know what to do because he feels the same for her, and is only with her sister because he can't get with her.

[pixeljade]

"If you tolerate the republicans in your family without challenging their ideas about trans people you are not a trans ally."

I get the anger but as someone who knew I was bi and mentally ill (the latter to the point it's a disability which makes me unemployable) long before I knew I was trans and was guilt tripped with stuff like this can you maybe consider not everyone can safely challenge their family members' garbage thinking? Especially not without outing themselves and possibly ending up homeless?

There are other ways people can be an ally even if they have to hold their tongue around certain people.

Here's the thing buddy. First and foremost: that quote doesnt apply to you. If you actually thought it through, I think you could figure that out, because you're trans. But even setting that aside, I'm going to say: NOBODY should feel guilted to risk their lives to do anything for any group of people.

But you know what? I was in a position a lot like yours. I was Bi and disabled, and struggling to exist, and dependent on people around me, many of which were fucking republican. Not all, though, which is why I decided to come out and begin demanding they challenge their beliefs. The end result? Well, I did become homeless at one point. But more than that, I managed to get a good number of those republicans to change. See, as I challenged them, it lit a fire under the asses of those family members who DID care, and that forced all the republicans to deal with not just me, but ALL of those family members! Some of which really surprised me. Then, a portion of those republicans slowly gave up their bullshit ideas, and the rest of them were ostracized from the family. It was hard, there were certainly losses, and damned if I dont still have trauma nightmares about my homelessness. But now I can live happily and proudly as myself, instead of spending what little life I've been alotted on this planet miserable and under another's boot. Most importantly though, I can say that I've had a positive impact on others lives': much of my family came out as queer after me, shedding their old biases and fears. They've THANKED me for what I did. The bravery paid off in the end.

And see, that's the thing, is it's going to take bravery from ANYONE. We live in an era defined by fear. Even the most privileged people on earth lived through a fucking pandemic alongside us, and are tremendously fucking traumatized and largely disabled as a result. And sure, its a matter of magnitude; i'm not gonna say we all have the same level of shit in our lives! But literally everyone alive has a reason NOT to challenge those around them. And as much fear as there is, the stakes being so fucking high sure isnt helping! But we NEED bravery, we NEED strength, we NEED to NOT LET FEAR CONTROL US, because god fucking dammit this is the time when the world needs some fucking heroes!

So if you read my message as guilt-trippy, then dismiss it as such and go back to surviving. But I meant it as a call for heroes. And all it takes to be a hero is to challenge those around you.

[zalrb]

Do you think Lucas was a bad boyfriend to Brooke the second time around? When Peyton confessed to Brooke that she loved him, Brooke took alot of the anger out on Lucas but i dont think he was actually at fault there. I think the second time round it was all on Peyton. Do you count the library kiss as cheating, to me it was similar to the DE season 2 deathbed kiss?

well this is the thing about brucas because when the writers decided to redirect it to leyton, the writing was basically like, oh their relationship in season 3 was terrible and lucas didn't even really care about brooke and his heart wasn't in it anyway, and i was like, really? 

what was this?

this?

THIS? oh my god his hair.

this??

this?

this?

their letters should not be overlooked because they’re significant. lucas teases her about them because he thinks it’s all in good fun 

but when he realizes that she put herself out there after being severely hurt by him by giving him those letters and that it’s representative of her vulnerability and trust in him after such a betrayal 

he makes himself vulnerable too by sending letters to her to show that there is no emotional hierarchy in their relationship, which is important

particularly after this exchange from season 1 

not to mention the first seven or eight episodes of lucas going through all of brooke’s tests and hoops to prove himself

to the point that when they are together and peyton’s biological mother died, lucas doesn’t rush to comfort her and only goes over when brooke gestures to him because foremost, he wants to make clear that there are boundaries and he wants to make brooke feel comfortable

then leyton shippers bring up how lucas could joke around with peyton in 3x17 after keith died and can’t even talk to brooke which indicates that they didn’t know each other at all but i’m like, kay, peyton and lucas have one 2 minute conversation where he makes fun of her for kissing him 

after she nearly bled out and died in the library next to him 

so yeah, he wants to make her feel comfortable and then he IMMEDIATELY says that he’s in love with brooke (no i don’t consider the library kiss cheating) it’s not like stefan and delena where peyton has to tell lucas to fight for brooke or asks what about brooke or directs him to brooke

and then finds brooke and talks to her and says that it means a lot to him that she’s there even if he can’t express it all the time -- and he’s expressing it THEN and they have a really tender moment

and then in the next episode it’s clear that being with brooke is helping him heal,

 and he’s talking to her about what he’s going through,

and OK even the whole rescue thing, an anon and i talked about this a while ago, he didn’t go and SET OUT to save peyton, he set out to bring nathan back

and i mean if nathan isn’t leaving until he finds haley and there’s blood by the library where your friend and your girlfriend were seen last and you care about your friend and your girlfriend is safe and you’re supposed to be the hero of the show, then why not go see if someone is bleeding out in the library?

just the whole fanfare around him being her hero has me like, it’s not as EPIC as it’s spoken about but anyway. (putting it out there now since anons may bring this up, the reason why i consider stefan staying to save damon in 8x16 a stelena scene and don’t give much thought to this scene as an epic leyton scene that’s a strike against brucas is 1) the way se/sc end in the episode is a far cry from the way brucas end in this episode 2) steroline was not as narratively strong as brucas)

then in season 4 when they had this exchange

i was like WHERE? 

but because he didn’t submit her stuff to the fashion competition but in season 1 he sent peyton’s artwork to a magazine that means that he just doesn’t know brooke?? that’s DUMB when they spent most of season 2 bonding

and then were getting to know each other even more deeply in season 3, 

which is why lucas can tell her in a rainstorm all the things he loves about her and it’s just HORRIBLE writing.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Animate Kuji B Prize Tokuten Drama CD [Reiji・Kanato・Subaru]

Original title: B賞ドラマCD (カナト・レイジ・スバル)

Source: Diabolik Lovers Animate Kuji Tokuten Drama CD [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi, Kaji Yuki & Takashi Kondou

Translator’s note: Reiji suffering hours never end in the Sakamaki manor. Honestly, for how serious and low-key boring his HDB route is, Reiji is by far the most entertaining character in the early era tokuten CDs. He’s the only character who is actually trying to keep everything together but chaos just breaks loose every time lol.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Subaru enters the kitchen.

*Thud*

*Rustle rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...!? The fuck’s goin’ on in here...?

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...Ah, fuck! ...Where am I supposed to walk...!?

Kanato: Subaru, is that you? 

Subaru: Uwaah...!? Kanato! Where the fuck did you just crawl out of...!? ーー Or rather, what are you doin’?

Kanato: Can’t you see? ...I’m looking for sweets!

Subaru: Haah...? Didn’t you have a cake of some sorts for dinner just earlier? 

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: ...I’m hungry...but I can’t find anything to snack on...Uu...Even though I’m starving...So why...? Uu...Sob...

Subaru: Argh...Geezー Shut the fuck up...I only came here to fetch a drink! Oi! Did you happen to across a bottle of mineral water?

Kanato: Don’t ask me. Look for that yourself.

Subaru: I can’t because you flipped the whole damn kitchen upside down!

Kanato: I can’t help you if I don’t know myself. ...Right, Teddy? I wonder why he’d lash out at me like that when I clearly said I don’t know? When he could make an effort to search for it himself, he just takes out his anger on me instead...That guy should just drop dead already.

Subaru: Che...! This is such a pain in the ass!

*Thud*

Kanato: Hm...I wonder why he’s there losing his cool in the corner by himself. Right, Teddy?

Subaru: Che...!

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: Haah...Ugh...Huh? ...Tsk.

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: Ah! Found something!

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: Oh...Crackers? ー Ugh.

He chucks them to the side.

Subaru: What’s the problem? You were searching for food, right?

Kanato: You really don’t understand, do you? I’m looking for sugary treats. I finally found something, but it turned out to be these bland-tasting crackers...Haah...Are the people in this house trying to starve me to death!?

Subaru: Ahー Everything has to be loaded with sugar for you, doesn’t it? Hm...?

Subaru walks over to the counter.

Subaru: The fuck’s this? A small container and a bottle...? There seems to be some sort of white powder inside? Sugar, maybe?

Kanato: ...!! Give that to me!!

Kanato snatches the bottle away from Subaru.

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...Uwah!? ...Oi, aren’t those the crackers you tossed away earlier?

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...? D-Don’t tell me...!?

Kanato rips open the crackers and starts pouring the sugar on top.

Kanato: If I do this...Then the crackers will become sweet...Fufufu~ 

Subaru: No, wait! I said it might be sugar! But what if it’s something entirely different...?

Kanato: Haahn...

*Munch munch*

Subaru: Listen to me!!

Kanato continues eating.

Subaru: ...How is it?

Kanato: Fufu, it’s sweet...~

Subaru: Which means...It really was just plain sugar? The fuck. There wasn’t a label on it, so I thought that maybe Reiji left one of his shady concoctions laying ‘round. ーー In that case, I guess the liquid in this bottle is just plain old water as well. 

He opens the bottle.

Subaru: It’s transluscent and has no scent so...It should be fine, right?

*Gulp gulp*

Subaru: Haah...

Reiji enters the kitchen.

Reiji: What are the two of you doing in here this late at niーー 

Subaru: Che...Geh, Reiji!?

Reiji: Ah...What happened in here!? 

Kanato: ...

*Munch*

Kanato: I was only looking for some sweets.

Reiji: Ah, geez! I’ve told you before that your snacks are in the shelf over there in the back, haven’t I!? Your searching method is to blame here! ...Wait, Kanato...What is that you’re holding in your hand?

Kanato: I poured all of this sugar over the crackers and ate them. ...Fufu, it made them at least somewhat palatable, right, Teddy?

Reiji: All of it...!?

Subaru: Oi...Did we make a mistake?

Reiji: ...Why do you people always put everything in your mouth straight away!? That medicine is still in its testing phase, so I cannot predict the effeーー

*Cling*

Subaru: ...!? Ugh...

Kanato: Uu...

Subaru: My headーー!

Kanato: ...It hurts...! It feels like my head’s splitting in two...!!

Subaru: ...Aaaargh...!!

Reiji: ...And that’s exactly why I keep on telling you lot not to eat everything you see...

*Thud*

Reiji: ...?

Kanato: Ehehe~ Such lovely weather we’re having today~! It’s like Mr. Sun is smiling brightly at us~!

Reiji: K-Kanato...?

Subaru: Yeah, mate! On days like these, I just want to go for a nice, long run!

Reiji: Subaru!?

Kanato: Ooh~? Rei-pyon, didn’t see you there! ...What’s wrong~? Why are you making that strange face?

Subaru: Kanato! Rei-rei’s face always looks weird, remember? You shouldn’t tell him straight-up though.

Reiji: R-Rei...pyon? Rei-rei!? 

( Is this the medicine taking effect...? )

Subaru: Rei-rei! If you keep on making those troubled expressions, you’re only going to get even more wrinkles, you know? If somethin’ is weighin’ heavy on your mind, why don’t you join me outside for a round of soccer?

Reiji: ...I have no worries! I refuse to play soccer as well!

Kanato: Rather than playing soccer, why don’t you join me and Teddy and bask in the sunlight~? I’m sure it’ll be a blast!

Subaru: No! A healthy mind in a healthy body is key! You should play some soccer as well, Kanato. Ah! I guess the more, the merrier, right? I’ll go call the other guys as well! Hehe~!

Subaru runs towards the door.

Reiji: Ah...! Subaru! Halt!

Reiji stops him just in time.

*Rustle*

Reiji: ...Either way, we have to sort out this situation first. If you insist on playing soccer, please wait till later.

( If I let the other brothers see these two in their current state, things will only get even more troublesome. For now, it is most important to get a good grasp on the situation. )

I’ll start with you, Kanato.

Kanato: What’s wrong, Rei-pyon~?

Reiji: ...! ...Please stop using that disgusting nickname at once.

Kanato: Eeeeh~?

Reiji: ...

Kanato: Ehehe~ 

Reiji: I suppose I should retrieve the drug first and foremost. ...Kanato, please hand me those snacks.

Kanato: Eh...?

Reiji: ( I suppose he is still reluctant to hand over his sugary treats. However, the usual Kanato would most likely throw a tantrum here. I suppose I should push him to the very limit. )

Kanato. Hurry up and give them to me. I’m confiscating these! 

Reiji snatches the crackers from his hand.

Kanato: ...Ah! ...Uu.

Reiji: ( ...!? He’s not getting mad!? )

Kanato: Uu...Hic...Rei-pyon...I’m so sorry. Will you give me back my sweets if I promise I’ll be good...?

Reiji: Ah...N-No...I did not want an apology from you or anything...Here.

*Rustle*

Kanato: Ah~! Thank you, Rei-pyon!

Reiji: But like I said, no more of that nickname! ーー Well then, how about Subaru?

Subaru: Hah...Hah!!

Reiji: ( ...He’s doing sit-ups...!? )

I take my eyes off you for two seconds and what are you doing now!?

Subaru: Can’t you tell? Sit-ups! Nothin’ feels better than movin’ your body! 

Reiji: ( The drug affected him in this way, huh...? )

What happened to your usual self, Subaru? While it is more than fine you decided to stop destroying everything in your sight, this is creepy on a whole new level. 

Subaru: Hm? Taking out your anger on other things isn’t good, you know? If you’re got any worries, I’ll listen to you, okay? Come on, tell me!

Reiji: ...

 Subaru continues to do his sit-ups in the background.

Reiji: I didn’t think I’d ever hear those words coming from you...

( If I have to try and reason with them any longer, I will surely lose my mind. While I am still not certain about the exact effects, I should prioritize getting started on an antidote of some sorts. )

Kanato: Rei-pyon? Is something bothering you? Want some sweets?

Reiji: No, thank you. 

Subaru: Then want to go for a run? You’ll feel reborn afterwards!

Reiji: I am fine! ...Either way, I shall prepare an antidote at once, so just drink that!

*TIMESKIP*

Kanato: Uu...Sob...I’m hungry...Uu...

Subaru: I don’t remember leavin’ my room and comin’ here at all...Although I’m strangely exhausted for some reason? ...I wonder why?

Reiji: Haah...

Subaru: ...Hah? The fuck’s with that face, Reiji? You look like an old geezer.

Kanato: He is older than us, so of course he does, Subaru. Fufufu~

Reiji: ...Who do you think is to blame for that?

Subaru: ...Aah?

Kanato: Say, is dinner ready yet? Did you not hear me when I said I’m hungry earlier!?

Subaru: Ahー I could go for some food as well.

Reiji: Aah, god, I know! Fine! Whatever you do, don’t touch any of the bottles theーー

Subaru: Tsk...I’m thirsty as well. ...Oh! There’s a bottle right here!

*Gulp*

Reiji: ...Ah.

ーー THE END ーー

[sserpente]

A/N: Surprise! Here’s the thing—I don’t normally write sub!Loki at all. However, since Christmas is a time of gifting and making wishes come true and it has been requested quite a few times in the past, I decided to take on an anon request. I can’t write fully-fledged sub!Loki, I just can’t… so I hope this will do! There’s another anon request in there too. I hope you all enjoy it!

Words: 2357 Warnings: sub!Loki-ish, fluff, smut

Additional NSFW warnings: light bondage, oral, usage of anal sex toy

-

You cursed when you stubbed your toe on the door, shutting it aggressively all the while flinging your bag into the corner like it was the reason for all of your problems. You were trembling, anger and exhaustion gnawing at your guts.

When you let out a desperate sigh as you kicked off your winter boots, Loki tilted his head. He had appeared in the threshold leading to the living room on your floor—an entire floor on Stark Tower, all to yourself. Today, however, this very circumstance did not cheer you up in the slightest.

“A good evening to you too, pet.” He said, eyeing you with curiosity.

“I bloody hate working in retail!” You spat in response. “Why are people being so idiotic, can you tell me that? Oh, I want a refund on this obviously used item which I don’t even have the receipt for, oh, can’t you hurry up I need to catch a train—I had hours to spend on browsing but I want to pay for this immediately or I’m just gonna leave, oh, can you recommend a gift for my niece, I barely know her or her interests but surely you’ll find a gift for her because I am too lazy to use my own brain?” You were fuming. Loki chuckled.

“My dear… breathe.” He was never this gentle with any of the other Avengers but then again, you were the only one he had taken a romantic and sexual interest in. You sighed when he approached you to pull you into a tight embrace, forcing you to calm down for him. Your hands wrapped around his middle almost automatically, allowing him to lift you off the ground and carry you into your bedroom.

Loki spent most of his time in your flat here in Stark Tower. Here, he wasn’t always under suspicion of plotting world domination again—and in fact, all he did was reading, stealing your sweets and learning more about Midgardian culture, first and foremost Christmas. Last week, you had forced him through all Santa Clause films and he had actually ended up enjoying them in the end.

Another sigh escaped your lips as you pressed your face against his chest, letting his hand stroke over your head. Perhaps you should finally let the cat out of the bag and tell the others about your relationship. Loki could be so sweet… and he loved being pampered by you, even if you made sure to take your time teasing him thoroughly first.

“Is there a particular reason you left me a gift this morning?” He changed the topic. Oh yes. You had almost forgotten about this. You had shoved part of Loki’s Christmas gift into his green and gold socket above your bed before you had left this morning. It was Christmas Eve and since you would be spending the 25th with the other Avengers, you had decided that him receiving part of his gift in private would be more appropriate.

“Me?” You asked, playing innocent. “That must have been Santa, Lokes.”

“Are you going to tell me what exactly it is?” He probed. You giggled, looking up at him with innocent eyes.

“I was hoping you’d ask. Where did you put it?” Loki conjured it up seemingly out of thin air—you’d never grow tired of seeing him use his seidr—and handed you a black plastic packaging which contained an equally black butt plug with a prostate massager for men. Loki and you had recently had a conversation about toys for men as opposed to women only and much to your surprise, he had shown quite the interest in the topic. The faces of the Avengers would have been priceless, had you put it under the Christmas tree for him along with his main present.

You grinned. “Lie down on the bed for me—and magic your clothes off, will you?” Loki smiled at your request. He did not often let you command him around like that—but when he did he knew you needed it, to have some fun with his arousal for you to distract yourself from work and other sorrows, much like today. You shouldn’t be in such a bad mood on Christmas Eve, after all.

Still smiling gently, he did as he was told and then slightly raised his eyebrows for you to make the next move. You winked at him after admiring his semi-hard cock for a bit, disappearing in the bathroom. Once you had returned, hands washed, clothes changed and sex toy sanitised properly, you got to work. Loki’s eyebrows shot up all the way when you produced the bondage rope you kept in the drawer right next to the bed and then climbed on the bed as well, straddling his strong thighs.

“Please? Let me play.” You pouted. Loki sighed—allowing you to tie his hands together and then to the bedpost. Both of you were very well aware that he could rip himself free at any time—it was more a matter of it looking pretty and downright hot to have the God of Mischief tied up and at your mercy, at least hypothetically.

He shifted on the mattress just a little when you reached for the toy again which you had already coated in a thick layer of strawberry lube and brought it to his anus. It was designed to directly stimulate his prostate and you positively couldn’t wait to see his reaction.

“What are you doing?” His question was a warning; reminding you it was a privilege he was playing submissive for you and that the… situation could change at any moment. You swallowed, your own arousal pooling in your knickers like a waterfall.

“Trust me? It will feel good, I promise.”

Loki sighed once more—and gasped when you slowly and carefully worked the butt plug inside of his rear. His cock twitched, joyful anticipation mixing with impatience. By the time it was snugly in place, he was as hard as rock and moaned upon you wrapping your hand around him, giving him a few strokes with your hands partially still covered in the strawberry lube you had used.

Loki bucked his hips almost immediately, growling when you drew your hand away again. You chuckled. “You look pretty adorable like that, you know… desperate for pleasure…”

He growled in response. “You will be the one desperate for pleasure and begging me for my touch if you keep this up for long.” He threatened. Your giggle intensified. You felt so much better already.

“Just you wait.” You said, pressing the button of the small bullet vibrator inserted into the butt plug. Loki tensed up when it hummed to life, sending continuous vibrations through his anus and stimulating his prostate.

Then, taking mercy on him, your hand returned to his impressive length, jerking and pleading for attention. A few drops of precum had already formed on his red tip—it was too tempting to ignore. Unceremoniously, you bent down and closed your lips around him, licking over his slit and lapping up all he had to give for now.

Loki tugged at his restraints. A little more strength and he’d tear them apart altogether and he was barely just containing himself anymore already. Knowing he could stop this anytime and pin you down underneath him to just take what he desired for some reason only fuelled his arousal. He bucked his hips in an attempt to plunge himself deeper into your mouth but you were being particularly relentless today. He growled once more, watching how a grin formed on your lips. With a smacking sound, you released him again, continuing to stroke him all the while the prostate massager kept vibrating inside of his rear.

“Does that feel good?” You asked, almost timidly. Loki was an experienced lover, you knew this much. How many Asgardian women had had the pleasure to learn what had earned him the nickname silver tongue you did not want to know and yet, even though his confidence in bed and knowledge of pleasing a woman was exciting, at the very same time it intimidated you.

Loki nodded, blue eyes locked with yours. “Yes. Keep going, my dear.” It almost sounded like an order—one you’d do better not to defy. You took it as an invitation and pressed the button of the vibrator again.

The setting was on high now—but not high enough to tip him over the edge just yet. You needed to hear him whimper first. You had managed once, a few weeks back when Loki had allowed you to tie him up and tease him for a while for the very first time. In the end, it had resulted in him flipping you around and fucking you roughly from behind so hard you had been unable to walk the next day. Your cunt clenched upon remembering how deliciously sore you had felt. It was a risk you were willing to take again.

Loki bucked his hips once more, thrusting up in a steadier rhythm now and desperate for more friction… which gave you another idea. Biting your lower lip, you stood from the bed and peeled off the comfy trousers you had changed into, right along with your underwear. If only Loki could see the wet spot on them as you stepped out of them, he would be grinning like a cat who got the cream but fortunately for you, you were in charge tonight—or at least, for now.

He eyed you like a hungry wolf, growling in an animalistic manner as soon as your slick pussy lips rubbed against his tip and you massaged your clit with it for a while before slowly, painfully slow, sinking down on him and sheathing his cock deep inside of you. You moaned, throwing your head back. Riding him always felt so much deeper than when he was on top… unless he hauled your legs over his shoulders that was.

“More…” He choked out, his blue gaze getting almost feverish, about to turn him into a mindless beast. You stilled, not moving an inch and just kept him inside of you all the while the vibrator in his rear kept stimulating him. He gritted his teeth when you failed to move, bucking up his hips in a desperate attempt to get you to ride him but you decided to take your time. Leaning forward, you began covering his chest and neck in light kisses, tongue darting out every now and then to taste him. Loki was already sweating, his limbs shaking and you knew then just how badly he needed his release. The restraints keeping his hands above his head on the bedpost gave a suspicious tearing sound as he thrust up into you once more.

He was close. He was so close. Smiling, you kissed him and moved back up and into a sitting position. Your fingers found the switch of the vibrator, turning the setting even higher. There was no need for you to move and ride him anymore. Loki came by himself and finally, gave you the whimper you had so desired to hear from him. Your lips parted when he starting twitching inside of you, spilling himself with a groan. His warm seed coated your walls, his cock jerking until he was all but spent. Once he had caught his breath, you turned off the vibrator… for now.

“Get that lovely quim of yours up here.” He ordered with a hoarse voice, once more raising the question whether you had ever truly been in charge of his pleasure. But who were you to defy him? Biting your lower lip, you let him slide out of you, whimpering at the loss of feeling so deliciously full, inched forward until your most private parts were only inches from his mouth and then carefully sat again, your thighs to either side of his head.

Loki wasted no time. Humming contently, he licked over your slit and clit, suckling on your outer lips and circling your sensitive bundle of nerves, tongue pressing against it, massaging it, until you dug your fingers into his raven hair, urging him on. You were so incredibly wet for him it wouldn’t take you long to gush all over him either and so you did. Loki ate you out like you were his last meal, pampering your clit until your body couldn’t take it anymore and you fell, seeing stars as your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, drowning you in pure pleasure. You only realised once you lifted yourself off his face because he would not stop that he had wrapped his fingers around the bars of the top of the bed. The bondage rope was torn apart beyond repair.

You smiled, allowing him you wrap you in his arms as he flipped you both around so you came to lie on the bed more comfortably.

“Feeling more relaxed now, my dear?” He asked with a sly smile.

“Much better. Thank you.” Loki hummed in response. “I’m pretty hungry… how about an early Christmas dinner? Just the two of us, without the others.”

“That sounds promising. But first I will need you to get that thing out of me.” He said, eliciting a devilish grin from you.

“I think I’m gonna leave that thing where it is for now. You’ll get a taste of your own medicine. Remember that golden butt plug you made me wear on Christmas last year? Revenge is sweet. So…” You paused. “Are you going to help me cook?”

Loki’s expression darkened, sending pleasant shivers up and down your spine. “You are going to remove that right now.”

“Nope,” you announced smugly, freeing yourself from his embrace and climbing off the mattress. “I’ll be in the kitchen, whenever you’re ready.”

Truth be told, you never made it to the kitchen. Loki was after you in a matter of seconds, dragged you back into bed and made sure you came to regret teasing him like that. Oh, and you most definitely lost count after at least five more orgasms.

-

A/N: There’s a hint in there for another smutty Loki Christmas Imagine soon to come. Can you find it? ;-)

If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you considered supporting me on Kofi! It’s either for caffeine or red wine, I’ll take both. ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥ 

[nanaminokanojo]

[9:00 PM] Kamo Noritoshi

LOG 13 OF MY JUJUTSU KAISEN TIMESTAMP DRABBLES

CHARACTERS: Kamo Noritoshi X You | JJK Characters (mentions)

WORD COUNT: 1,112

GENRE: slight angst | fluff | implied race

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of violence | injuries | profanity

SPOILERS: n/a | a little bit of that blond Zenin guy *whispers* Naoya

collection masterlist

📸 photo/fanart credit to @fushigummy

You sat, assuming proper seiza*, on the tatami floor of Noritoshi’s private study at the Kamo Clan estate. Your hands balled into fists while you tried hard not to make a sound or show any kind of expression to give away just how much pain you were in. In an embarrassing concatenation, you ended up there, the left-arm side of your prescribed, dark blue kimono – a sort of uniform as one of the guards to the clan's heir – folded neatly under your arm, while your other hand held onto your hanjuban* to keep your chest modestly out of view.

Your current state of partial undress revealed severe bruising on your left shoulder, the irregular purple and red patches covering that quadrant of your back, extending downwards. It was a result of your reckless decision to go against the arrogant heir apparent to the Zenin clan who came for a visit, only to insult Noritoshi. The young man you served said nothing even as that blond, young master of the other clan said all those disrespectful things, mostly questioning Noritoshi’s legitimacy to hold the same position as he does for the Kamo clan. He had nerve mouthing off when there was talk about him not being fit for the role either.

You ended up losing, and if it weren't for the interference of both present clan heads, you would probably be dead. The malicious intent in that person's eyes as he regarded you as if you were a piece of insignificant trash was etched in your mind, making your blood boil with anger. It wasn't your place to go against the Zenin boy. It was imprudent because your course of action was not under a command but merely based on your whims. Still, your priority will always be to protect Noritoshi regardless of the circumstances, even at the cost of your life as, first and foremost, a servant to him and the clan, and secondly, as his friend.

"What have I told you about your temper?" Noritoshi said rather sternly.

You watched from the mirror on the wall as he knelt behind you, having insisted that he would tend to your injuries himself despite your protests. You hated it when he uses that tone of voice when speaking to you in private when he also insisted you act casually around each other when no one else is around.

"To not let it bring out the worst in me," you answered promptly albeit grudgingly. You didn't really want to speak while he fiddled with your injured back since it was harder to conceal your pain. Your voice came out wobbly at best as you spoke through gritted teeth, breaking into cold sweat. Even harder when you were trying to sound calm.

He sighed. "Are you angry?"

"Am I..." You let out a snagged breath as you chuckled without mirth, the sound coming out from your throat in a stifled gasp. Even that action made your whole body hurt.

You've had enough seeing how everyone seemed to be tormenting him just because his mother was a mistress. You've had enough of witnessing how lonely his existence was, crying for his mother when they sent her away when you were kids, the haughty bastards that they are. You had to see all those tears but you've also watched how hard he worked to become stronger. And you've most definitely had enough of seeing everyone act as if the sins of his father defined him when he was so much more than that. Hell, you were treated better then him until he was named heir to the clan, all because he inherited the clan's curse technique.

Finally snapping, you swatted at his hand, preparing to stand up, acting out of turn again. But he placed a hand on your injured shoulder, the pressure hardly there but you fell back on your knees, your upper extremities seizing. You glared at him from over your shoulder, eyes becoming hazy with tears but you blinked them back.

"Am I supposed to just watch while that person steps all over you?" you hissed. "All this time I've known you, all I could do was watch and wait for you to order me to actually do that. That's my job, but you're not letting me do it. Instead, you're protecting me. To answer your question, no. I'm not angry. I am fucking furious!"

"Y/N, language," he admonished. Damn it, he would be paying attention to propriety while you were lashing out like that. Only Kamo Noritoshi.

"Don't tell me to watch my language! Right now, I don't care if you're the heir to the clan leadership. I speak as your friend, and I'm telling you I won't just stand by idly. No more."

You didn't even realize you were already a crying mess until you felt his warm hands cup your face, kneeling before you, his thumbs wiping away your tears. Just then, he opened his eyes and broke into that rare smile. "So you have this side to you?" His tone was gentle and he regarded you the same way.

You winced, clutching at your shoulder and finding that it had already been wrapped up properly. You sniffled, calming down. "Thanks. You're not even supposed to be doing this for me." You sighed, quelling your fury. "I should be taking care of you."

"Stop saying that," he told you, fingers caressing your cheek as he drew nearer. "You've protected me enough, more than I can tell you. Don't undermine what you do for me because I don't know what I would have done without you by my side all these years."

Your eyes widened at his words, surprised that he thought that way. You never really thought you were doing much for him, but as if he read through you he said, "You've protected me all this time, now it's my turn to do it. I don't keep you by my side because I need you to watch my back." He reached for your hair, letting its silky length run across his palm.

"Then why?" you asked.

"Because you're mine..."

You didn't know if you heard right, but your heart stopped just the same when his words registered. "Huh?"

He smirked at you then and closed the distance between your faces, his hand gently pressing at the small of your back as he pulled you closer, his lips claiming yours in a sweet kiss that knocked the breath out of you.

When he pulled back, he touched his forehead to yours, breaking into a smirk as he said, "And I always want to keep an eye on what is mine."

-END-

TERMINOLOGIES:

*seiza (正座) – the proper/polite/formal sitting position in traditional Japan

*hanjuban (半襦袢) – traditional undergarment worn under the kimono, particularly for the upper extremities; it’s like a traditional undershirt which goes with another piece called susuyoke (裾除け) for the lower half of the body and together, the ensemble is called hadajuban (肌襦袢)

ハッピーバースデー @fushigummy!! This one's STILL for you.

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20210603]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[lunaslovelyrambles]

It's canon that Levi is very self conscious about his handwriting since he came from Underground. BUT it's also canon that his handwriting is neat. So how about Levi writing his crush a letter but then decides not to give the letter last minute but too late! His crush saw the letter in his hand and they basically have a tug of war over the letter 💀 I hope this is okay. Thank you ❤️

of course it’s okay!! sorry for the long ass wait.. but thank you for sending this in! it’s such a cute request :)

went w a scenario bc i’m rusty with them! as always feedback + reblogs are appreciated :3

——

levi ackerman

He was screwed, wasn’t he? Yeah, he was totally, and wholeheartedly screwed. The second he felt the wavering in his heart and fluttering in his stomach he knew he was screwed.

Because Levi Ackerman - Humanity’s Strongest Soldier - has a crush.

Levi wasn’t one to focus too heavily on his emotions. Oftentimes he’d dismiss any unusual feelings without any second thought. He didn’t have time for that: any sappy, mushy feelings. He was a soldier first and foremost. That was his duty, and that was his priority above all. He should focus on the fight for humanity and that solely.

So why, why was he so hellbent on getting your attention?

Because he liked you, that’s why. But he didn’t want to admit it. He could die at any second and so could you. Like hell he’d want to form a relationship under those conditions.

Still, pushing his feelings toward you aside didn’t help in the slightest. Every day as he watched you laugh with some of the other cadets he felt his hand clench around his cup. He wanted to sit by your side, hear your beautiful laughs and be with you goddamnit.

Why was this so hard? Why was liking someone romantically so hard?

These thoughts permeated his mind as he stared at his paperwork. His pen had been sitting on the table for quite a while now as he thought, once again, about you. He had long forgotten about what he needed to get done for the night and was purely lost in his thoughts.

Should he tell you? No- what if you rejected him? He’d be crushed and not only that but things would be awkward then.. but what if you said yes? Then he could finally get this off his chest and-

He groaned heavily as he laid his head on his desk, causing some of the papers to crinkle underneath. He couldn’t stop the thoughts from growing louder and louder in his mind. They were all too loud and distracting for him to do anything.

But he couldn’t just go and confess! That wasn’t the kind of person he was! He wasn’t the type to just do something like that.. To him, it was way too embarrassing.

As he laid with his head on his desk an idea suddenly entered his mind. One that would save him some embarrassment while also conveying his feelings perfectly. Well, less embarrassing than directly confessing that is.

A letter.

He could write you a letter. The perfect way to confess his feelings. He could write exactly what he wanted and completely avoid the awkwardness of him telling you. It was only an added plus thay writing a letter was seen as sweet and romantic to most people.

Levi finally picked up his pen and started writing on a new, clean sheet of paper.

-x-

It had been several days since he initially came up with the idea to write you a letter and Levi still hadn’t written one that he liked.

Several balled up sheets of paper could be found stacked in his garbage can, and even more burned in the fireplace.

For some reason he just couldn’t get the wording right. Every time he wrote it it just didn’t seem... right. It didn’t feel good enough, it was too blunt, it was too wordy. Every draft he was just unhappy with. And he kept trying only to be continuously dissatisfied.

He sighed as he set his pen down another time. He looked at the singular sheet of paper and began to reread it.

“Dear (Y/N),

I just wanted to say that - ”

“Whatcha got there?”

Levi nearly fell out of his seat. Standing in the doorway was none other than you. And you were very curious to know what he was holding. For a split second he thought about balling it up and chucking it at you, but his body reacted quicker and shoved it into his desk drawer.

“Why didn’t you knock? Didn’t you learn any manners?” he quickly retorted, but he was still caught off guard by your entry thus causing his words to come out quicker than he would have liked.

You rose an eyebrow and walked further into the room, closing the door behind you.

“I did. Several times actually,” you responded, “What was that paper you shoved into your drawer?”

He swallowed thickly. It would be hard for him to maneuver his way out of this one.

“Why are you here? Do you have something to report?”

“...no. But you haven’t really been out of your office all day. Now answer my question.” As you spoke you inched closer to his desk before standing on the side - the one closest to the drawer with the paper in it.

He didn’t answer. Shit. You were not gonna let this go.

He half expected you to keep harassing him with questions until he either forced you out or gave in. But you chose a third option, which was one he wasn’t expecting.

Which was shoving yourself between him in the drawer, effectively blocking him as you grabbed the letter out. Luckily for him, he regained some sort of mind to fight with you for the paper as it left the drawer.

You tugged on one end and he grabbed the other, neither of you showing any sign of letting go. He really started to begin to regret training you to be so strong.

As he gave one harsh tug, and you doing the same, the letter finally ripped in half from the tension. He had the top half and you had the bottom.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Do you always go through other people’s stuff without permission?” he looked down at the paper and back up at you. Naturally he was angry with you for taking out the letter without asking, but when he looked up at you his anger slowly dissipated.

Your mouth was slightly parted and your cheeks were slowly heating up as you finished the letter. Your eyes then flickered from the letter up to him. You turned around the letter to face him and pointed at the words on the bottom.

“I really like you, (Y/N), and I’d love to go out with you sometime.”

“Is this... for me?” you softly asked. His mouth formed a thin line as he avoided your gaze, his cheeks now dusted with a faint pink. There was no way he could say no, it wasn’t for you, because your name was literally on the note.

He was beyond embarrassed. He was mortified. His feelings were out in the open now and there was no going back.

Just as he was about to leave the room to avoid the uncomfortable sting of rejection, he heard you giggle. The noise made him glare back at you, and it was that that made you full on laugh.

Now he really felt humiliated.

“I just can’t believe that you fought me tug of war style for this,” your laughing died down a little, “Did you convince yourself that hard that I’d reject you?”

Levi didn’t know what to think anymore.

“I mean.. kind of, yeah,” he still spoke softly, still not looking at you.

“You’d be wrong, then.”

He finally stopped looking at the floor and back at you. You were smiling at him, a big toothy smile and one that he loved seeing every day.

“I thought that letter was, like, you kicking me off your squad. So I thought ‘hey I’ll bite the bullet and take it out even if he’ll hate me for it’ or something I don’t know. I’m sorry for going through your stuff-”

Before you could finish your apology Levi had uncharacteristically pulled you into his chest. He had felt like someone crushed a building on him when you stole that letter out but now? He feels like he just got the best night sleep.

“Don’t. Don’t even worry about it. I’m.. glad you took it. It’s okay,” he smiled into your shoulder as you returned the hug.

Maybe he’ll write you letters more often.

——

masterlist || rules page

[vajranam]

Dealing With Anger

ON DEALING WITH ANGER

Undoubtedly, both Shantideva and the Dalai Lama are most articulate in their discourse on how to deal with anger and hatred.

Shantideva in fact opens the chapter on patience with the strong statement that an instance of anger can destroy positive imprints created over “a thousand eons.”

He further asserts that there is no evil like hatred and that there is no fortitude like patience. Thus, he recommends that we all seek to develop patience.

In Shantideva’s view, anger acts as the principal obstacle to the development of patience. To use the well-known medical analogy, hatred is the poison and patience is the medicine that removes the poisonous toxins from within the mind.

As the Dalai Lama’s commentary makes clear, Shantideva identifies two key elements in our attempts to overcome anger.

First and foremost, it is important for us to have a profound appreciation of the negativity of anger. Of particular relevance is to reflect upon the destructive effects of generating anger.

Second, Shantideva identifies the need to develop a deep understanding of the causal mechanism which underlies the arisal of anger. This is of special interest to the modern reader, who will unavoidably be approaching Shantideva’s text with many of the popular assumptions associated with modern psychology and its views on human emotions.

In verse 7 of the chapter, Shantideva makes the crucial observation that the “fuel” of anger is what he calls “mental discomfort.” This is an interesting notion. The Tibetan word is yi mi-dewa which can be translated as “dejection,” “unhappiness,” or simply as “dissatisfaction.”

It is best understood as a pervasive, underlying sense of dissatisfaction, which need not be felt at the conscious level. It is that nagging feeling that something is not quite right.

Shantideva seems to be suggesting that it is this underlying sense of dissatisfaction that gives rise to frustration. When this happens, the conditions are set for an immediate outburst of anger when things do not go the way we wish.

Once this causal nexus between dissatisfaction, frustration, and anger is understood, we can then appreciate the virtue of Shantideva’s approach to dealing with anger. We can see that much of his approach is aimed at rooting out this underlying sense of dissatisfaction rather than engaging in a head-to-head confrontation with actual full-blown anger.

This is the reason for Shantideva’s emphasis on reflections which aim to create stability of mind. As to the specific practices, the reader can follow the detailed commentary of the Dalai Lama in the appropriate sections of the book.

An important point to note here is that Shantideva does not appear to make any distinction between anger and hatred in his discussion.

However, the Dalai Lama’s commentary explicitly underlines this critical distinction. He observes that, in principle, it may be possible to accept what could be called a “positive anger.”

Anger as an outrage toward injustice done to others can often be an important catalyst for powerful altruistic deeds.

However, he rejects such possibility with regard to hatred. For the Dalai Lama, hatred can have no virtue. It only eats the person from within and poisons his or her interactions with fellow human beings. In his words, “Hatred is the true enemy; it is the inner enemy.”

Perhaps we can say that the feature that distinguishes anger and hatred is the absence or presence of ill-will. A person can be angry without bearing any ill-will toward his or her object of anger. The Dalai Lama instructs us to ensure that our anger, even when it arises, never culminates in full-blown hatred. This, I think, is an important ethical teaching.

A few words on some of the general principles which lie behind the approaches suggested in this book for dealing with our emotions and developing patience may perhaps help the general reader.

A key principle is a belief in what could be called the plasticity of the mind, that is, an assumption of the mind’s limitless capacity for improvement. This is supported by a complex understanding of the psychology of the mind and its various modalities.

Both Shantideva and the Dalai Lama are operating within a long history of Buddhist psychology and philosophy of mind which emphasizes a detailed analysis of human emotions.

Generally speaking, in this view the mind is perceived in terms of a complex, dynamic system where both cognitive and affective dimensions of the psyche are seen as an integrated whole.

So, when the two masters present means of dealing with emotions such as anger, they are not suggesting that we should suppress them. Both Buddhist and modern psychology agree on the harmfulness of mere suppression.

The Buddhist approach is to get at the root so that the very basis for anger is undercut. In other words, Shantideva and the Dalai Lama are suggesting ways of reorienting our character so that we become less prone to strong reactive emotions such as anger. It is in this light that most of the reflections recommended in this volume should be understood.

The motto is simple: Discipline your mind. Shantideva underlines the critical importance of this inner discipline with a wonderful analogy:

Where would I possibly find enough leather

With which to cover the surface of the earth?

But (wearing) just leather on the soles of my shoes

Is equivalent to covering the earth with it.

Likewise it is not possible for me

To restrain the external course of things;

But should I restrain this mind of mine

What would be the need to restrain all else?

(Guide, V:13–14)

This of course is reminiscent of the memorable verse from the Dhammapada in which the Buddha says:

Intangible and subtle is the mind,

That flies after fancies as it likes;

Wise are those who discipline their minds,

For a mind well-disciplined brings great joy. (Verse 35)

Shantideva calls this basic Buddhist practice “guarding the mind” and he discusses it at great length in chapter 5 of his Guide.

Another general principle I wish to draw the reader’s attention to is the basic pragmatism of Shantideva’s teachings. He does not appear to believe in the possibility of one cure or solution to any problem.

His is a strategy that involves drawing extensively from all our inner resources. Many of his arguments appeal to what we may call human rationality. But he also uses approaches that appeal to our fundamental humanitarian sentiments. Often he plays upon our sense of moral outrage too. So, the bottom line seems to be “whatever works best.”

In the final analysis, many of the approaches presented in this book are insights grounded in common sense. For example, who can argue with the sheer practicality of the following lines, which the Dalai Lama is so fond of quoting:

Why be unhappy about something

If it can be remedied?

And what is the use of being unhappy about something

If it cannot be remedied? (Guide, VI:10)

Perhaps most importantly for the modern reader, it is vital to appreciate that both Shantideva and the Dalai Lama do not believe in “instant enlightenment.”

In their teachings, there is the basic assumption that cultivating inner discipline is a time-consuming process. In fact, the Dalai Lama rightly points out that having expectations of immediate results is a sign of impatience, the very factor the teachings in this volume aim to counteract.

With a sense of irony, he observes that often what the modern reader wants is “the best, the fastest, the easiest, and, if possible, the cheapest way.” So the journey of someone who is on the path of self-betterment is arduous and requires long commitment.

Nevertheless, the rewards of embarking upon such a journey are potentially enormous. Even in immediate terms, the benefit such an endeavor brings to the traveler’s life seems remarkable.

If the Dalai Lama is representative of those who have gained the fruits of this journey, its merits are shown to be beyond question.

Geshe Thupten Jinpa

Girton College

University of Cambridge

Perfecting Patience - His Holiness the Dalai Lama & Geshe Thupten Jinpa - Shambhala Publications, Inc.

[papirouge]

American evangelicals and independent baptists/southern baptists are weak links because of the perversion in American culture in large areas like the "Bible belt" (central America mostly) intertwining violence and life. Catholicism has its major flaws too especially with sex crimes against children and women (nuns) by supposed men of God. Both are just empty bad faiths leading people to anger and violence than Gods love and word. The culture is twisted into a love of violence that many believe will absolve them of sin. Like, sure say you're pro life but craving tools of war and death like guns and worshiping them like idols isnt Christ like as God condemns violence of all kinds, Especially from his children. There are pockets of good places and good people here but the overall message of Christ isnt strong. The history of the bible or the revelation of other books being banned from being published with it is not widely known as many believe that the English translation is the actual word of God. I've met a girl befoe who told me how the old Hebrew translation "version" is actually the younger newer version of the bible for the Jews to read, that the KJV bible was the first one to be written as God intended it to be written in "American" first.... I've been kicked out of my church group in the past for not agreeing that Christ would be a republican (why is the importance of political parties even matter here?) or him most likely being a dark skin man is a leftist woke agenda. To me, it seems like many of these practicing Christians are like the Pharisees in spirit

MY GOODNESS ANON YOU DELIVEREDT🍵🔥🔥

If you got kicked out of church groups that's a sign you 10000% based anon. 💜 Christians today are spineless and will let fly the worst theology just because some pastor/cleric said it.

You're such a queen for calling them out in their political Christianism crap. Everything is leftist woke-ism now if we're trying hard enough. That's the new "SJW" or "snowflake".

You are soooooooo right for pointing out the pathological mixing of violence and life by most American Christians. They'll claim being pro life but feel entitled to kill someone whose life belongs to God. Their lips say they love God but their actions & thoughts says otherwise. They'll say they rely on God's protection but will be hellbent on carry a gun. They do not make any sense.

I made plentiful of post reminding how Jesus NEVER retaliated or resorted to violence. He even healed the ear of one of the men who came to arrest him that Peter had just cut off (to defend Jesus). Peter represents these foolish Christians thinking violence will get their way. Jesus is actually so full of Love that He will heal those who came to murder him. American pro gun evangelicals should read their Bible more closely.

Yeah I'm very stunned to see how some books are completely slept on. The book of Revelation is definitely one of them. The Destiny of Christiandom is all in there: the antichrist rising, the persecution of Christians, the mark of the Beast, the 7 seals, the 7 trumpets, the rapture....

Reading Christians bloggers is lowkey depressing because they seem so spiritually sheltered and unprepared. They only care about worldly achievement (marrying, having their lil cosy home, their little Christian community, "pls pray for me coz I'm sad uwu" etc.). The Bible calls us to be WARRIORS first and foremost. Not Christian conservatives, not patriots, not housewives, etc. But you'll see most Christians would rather identify as the latter because it asks them less dedication. Spiritual warfare is real, and it will ask Christians more effort & commitment than pulling out an aesthetic/brand on socials. They're modern day pharisees, you're so right!!

The Bible talks about war, and Christians being executed.... And yet most Christians NEVER talk about such things... they would rather bicker about denominations, saving the "Western culture", politics and all this nonsensical secular trash. They are up for a very hard wake up call and I'm sure many Christians will take the mark of the beast as long as it enables them to live their perfect quiet "Christian" life and not be hunted and killed for living the true Gospel. Many Christians have more lust for a "Christian life" than they have for Jesus.

Maaan that American girl is so cringe 💀American exceptionalism is something else.... What do they put inside water for them to be so delusional? 💀 if God has chosen the Jews to breed the Messiah then He logically chosen Hebrew to write the Bible has He intended - not english. These debates about which version of the Bible is the most accurate are retarded cause all Bible are flawed in some aspect. I read the Bible in several languages and words and phrases construction do differ. That's why American arguing about how the KJV is the best version doesn't make much sense because...english isn't the only language in which the Bible is translated, DUH! Jehovah witness too do think their bible is the "right" version. So do Mormons and many other Christian sects. That's why it's sooooo important to have a connection with the holy spirit for Him to guide you in the Truth of God. Sorry but there can't be as many truth as there are Bible versions, however there is only one holy spirit 💜✝️

Early Church Christians didn't have any Bible and yet they were doing just fine. Christians bickering about Bible versions are lost because a book is their sole guide, not God.

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

New World CH. Sixteen

Title: The Governor

Words: 4040

Warnings: Strong language, assault, sexual assault, canon-typical violence, talk of rape (no actual rape)

A/N: The scene that happens to Maggie when she meets the Governor happens to reader in this chapter. Most of it happens in the very beginning so please skip that if it makes you uncomfortable.

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

New World Masterlist

Daryl Dixon Masterlist

The Walking Dead Masterlist

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

[Y/n]

You could hear Glenn and Merle talking in the room next to you and when the blows started landing, it took everything in you to not make a sound. As it started getting worse, you couldn’t keep the tears from forming in your eyes. How had everything gone so wrong? It went on for a while then stopped abruptly. A door slammed closed and five minutes later, it opened again. This time you could hear the sounds of a walker and Glenn fighting it off.

 When things fell silent, your mind started racing. After a couple of minutes went by and you heard nothing, you were about to call out for Glenn and the door to your room opened. Jolting slightly, you saw a man walk inside. He said nothing as he closed the door behind him and walked closer to you. He pulled out his knife, admiring it for a second before going behind you and cutting the tape holding your hands together. You quickly brought your hands in front of you and took the rest of it off, trying to keep your anger and fear hidden. The man then walked to the other chair and pulled it out from under the table before stopping and looking at you.

 “May I?” He said. You didn’t reply and he sat down. “Thank you.”

 “We’ll take you back to your people and explain that this was all a misunderstanding. We can drive you there. You just have to tell us where they are.”

 “A misunderstanding? What I heard happen in that room didn’t sound like a misunderstanding. What your man did to me wasn’t a misunderstanding either.” Your arms were crossed in front of you and you glared at the man. “I need to talk to Glenn.”

 “I can’t let you do that.”

 “Why not?”

 “You people are dangerous,” he said, head slightly tilted. “You handcuffed one of my best men to a roof. Forced him to amputate his own hand.”

 “I wasn’t there when that happened.” Your eyes were hard but he looked like he had no care in the world.

 “Just tell us where they are and we can bring them here. You’ll all be safe here, I promise.”

 “No.”

 “No? Alright, let’s try something else.” His expression had changed and you had to suppress a shiver of disgust. “Stand up please.”

 When you still stayed silent and didn’t do as he asked, the man leaned forward in his seat.

 “Stand. Up.”

 When you realized that you had no choice, you stood up. The chair fell from the force of you standing and crashed to the floor.

 “Take off your shirt.”

 “No,” you said lowly.

 “Take of your shirt,” he said, leaning back into the chair. “Or I’ll bring Glenn’s hand in here. Your choice.”

 You knew that he wasn’t joking so you took of your flannel and tank-top, throwing them both to the ground. It took all your willpower to keep your arms by your sides and when he told you to keep going, your breathing became shaky. Hands trembling, you reached behind you and took your bra off, immediately covering yourself after it fell to the floor.

 The man was staring at you intently, paying close attention to your stomach as he stood up. He took off his gun belt before going around the table to stand behind you. Kicking the fallen chair away, you felt him start to touch your hair. Your whole body was shaking now and you were fighting back tears. After a few seconds of him lightly touching you, the man slammed you onto the table. A small yelp left your lips as your hands left your chest to brace yourself. His hand was on the back of your neck and it hurt.

 “Are you gonna talk now?” He said.

 “Do what you’re gonna do. Then you can fuck off and go to hell,” you spat.

 He chuckled at you and your trembling voice, and put the hand that was on your neck onto the middle of your back. You could feel his pelvis on your ass and right when you thought things were going to continue, he pushed himself off you and rounded the table again. A tear slid down your face and you exhaled shakily. Your relief was short lived because right after the man put his gun belt back on, he grabbed your arm and hauled you up.

 ---

 Dean

After about a half hour of driving, Rick pulled the car over onto the side of the road. The woman had said something about patrols and the fact that they’d be better off on foot. So Dean went to the trunk and took the duffel bag he put in there, pulling out a shotgun, two pistols and a big knife.

 “Little overkill, don’t you think?” Michonne said.

 “My little sister’s been taken. There’s no such thing as overkill when it comes to that,” Dean said.

 “How far is it?” Rick asked.

 “Not far. A mile, maybe two.”

 “Alright. We need to get going if we’re gonna make it there before nightfall.”

 Daryl shut the trunk and the four of them made their way into the woods. Dean was walking only slightly behind the woman, eyes alert. He noticed the group of walkers the same time Rick and Daryl did and he knelt down quickly when they started stumbling towards them.

 “Stay in formation, no gunfire,” Rick said. Dean took out his knife and twirled it in his hand before rushing forward and killing any walker that came too close.

 “There’s too many of ‘em,” Daryl said.

 “This way.”

 The group ran in the direction Rick pointed and they came across a small cabin. Dean shut the door as soon as everyone was inside. It didn’t take long before the dead were banging on the door, trying to get in.

 “We have to get out of here,” Dean said. That was when Rick noticed something odd about the bed in the room. He whistled softly and yanked the blankets off the bed, revealing a man. He woke up with a start and started yelling.

 “Who the hell are you?” He said, grabbing his rifle. “Get outta my house!”

 “We will, but we can’t right now,” Rick said.

 The man kept yelling and the banging started getting louder. He wouldn’t calm down and when he ran to the door after trying to shoot Rick, Michonne stabbed him through the chest, killing him instantly. The walkers were still trying to get in so Rick and Daryl heaved the man up and after Dean gave the all clear, they shoved him outside. The walkers were distracted enough for the four of them to get by and they continued on to Woodbury.

 ---

 They got there after night had fallen. Keeping to the shadows, they surveyed the wall that was set up. There were two guards on either side, two big spotlights scanning the darkness. After a minute of looking, Michonne started walking away.

 “Hey!” Rick whispered. She didn’t respond and kept going.

 “God dammit,” Dean said as he watched her go.

 “We’re gonna need to downsize,” Rick said. Dean nodded and took the duffel off of his shoulder, pushing it under the car they were hiding behind after he took out the weapons he brought.

 “Ain’t no way we can check in all them buildings,” Daryl said. “Not with all them guards there.”

 “We might have to,” Dean muttered. Right then, a twig snapped behind them and all three of the men turned quickly, guns raised. It was Michonne and she gestured with a hand before walking off again.

 “Let’s go,” Rick said. The men followed her and she led them to a back entrance. Once they were inside the town, she took them to a building.

 “This is where you were held?” Rick asked her.

 “This is where I was questioned.”

 “Is there anywhere else they could be?” Dean asked her.

 “I thought ya said there was a curfew,” Daryl said, looking outside, before she could answer Dean.

 “Those are stragglers. The streets are packed when it’s light out.”

 “If anyone comes in here, we’re screwed,” Rick said. “We need to move.”

 “Hey, you never answered me,” Dean said, walking up to Michonne. “Is there anywhere else they could be holding [y/n] and Glenn?”

 “They could be in his apartment.”

 “But what if they ain’t?”

 “Then we’ll look somewhere else,” Michonne said. Daryl and Rick walked up to stand by Dean.

 “You said you could help us,” Rick said lowly.

 “Look, I’m doing what I can.”

 “Then where the fuck is my sister?” Dean said angrily. Rick put his hand on Dean’s shoulder and led him slightly away from Michonne, Daryl following.

 “If it goes south, we’re cutting her loose,” Rick said.

 “You think she’d lead us into a trap?” Dean asked.

 “I don’t know. But our first and foremost priority is finding [y/n] and Glenn and getting them back home.”

 “It’s the blind leading the blind. We should split up,” Daryl said.

 Someone knocked on the door and all four heads whipped around to look at it before silently running to the back room.

 “I know you’re in here. Saw you moving from outside,” a voice said after the door closed. “You’re not supposed to be in here and you know it, so come on out. Don’t got to be any trouble.”

 Rick came flying out of his hiding place and put the barrel of his gun to the man’s head. “Shut up and get on your knees. Hands behind your back.” Rick helped the man to the ground and threw a zip tie to Dean. Dean tied his hands behind his back while Rick started questioning him.

 “Where are our people?”

 “I don’t know.”

 “You’re holding some of our people, where the fuck are they?!”

 “I don’t know,” the man whimpered. It was clear that the man really didn’t know so Rick grabbed a cloth and stuffed it into his mouth before Daryl hit him over the head with his crossbow, effectively knocking him out. Once Rick dragged the man and stuffed him in the corner, the four of them went back into the main room. That’s when gunshots were heard.

 “Where did that come from?” Dean said. “That had to be them.”

 When everyone outside was running away from the noise, the four of them moved quickly and silently towards it. They came across a warehouse of sorts and moved throughout the corridors, coming to a halt when they heard someone talking angrily.

 ---

 [Y/n]

Whimpering from the grip he had on your arm and the fact he was touching you again, you barely had time to cover yourself before he was dragging you out of the room. You weren’t out in the open for long. He took you next door to where Glenn was. Merle and another man were there too.

 Glenn was in bad shape. One eye was ringed with purple, he had a bloody nose, and there were scratches on his cheek. Blood had dripped from his nose all the way down to his chest, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead.

 When Glenn saw you, anger and disbelief were painted on his face and it made more tears escape your eyes. The man who had violated you still had a firm grip on your arm and when Glenn went to hit him with the table leg in his hands, his grip tightened. You whimpered from the pain and from the gun now pointed at your head.

 “Drop it,” the man with the gun said. Glenn dropped it, not being able to take his eyes off of you.

 “We’re through playing games,” the man holding you said. “Now one of you is going to tell us where your camp is and you’re gonna tell us now.”

 He took out a gun and pointed it at your stomach. Glenn’s eyes widened and he surged forward slightly before stopping himself. The man let go of your arm and cocked the gun. That’s when Glenn broke.

 “The prison,” he blurted out. You took a step closer to Glenn, Merle holding out an arm to keep you from getting any closer.

 “The one over by Nunez?” Merle asked.

 “That place was overrun.”

 “We took it.”

 The gun was now trained on Glenn’s face and the man holding it looked over at you.

 “How many are you?” He asked.

 “Sixteen. There’s sixteen of us and five are kids, including a newborn baby.” You didn’t want to tell them anything, but if you didn’t, Glenn would die. One of your best friends would die and the other would die of heartbreak. You couldn’t do that to Maggie or Glenn.

 “So only eleven people cleared the prison of the biters, one of them pregnant. The whole prison?”

 Merle had turned to face you and you glanced at him for a second before looking back at Glenn. The man pressed the gun into Glenn’s forehead and you let out a shaky sob, more tears falling down your face. Then the man dropped his hand and walked back to you. You sniffed and he caressed your face. Even when you flinched and shook your head, he didn’t stop.

 “S-Stop,” you cried quietly.

 “Hey, now,” he said, almost gently. “It’s alright.”

 He pulled you into his chest and you struggled to get away but he was a lot stronger than you. One of his hands was on your cheek and the other was wrapped around your waist, his fingers brushing over your slightly curved stomach. Glenn was staring daggers at the man, tears of anger in his eyes. When the man kissed your forehead, you whimpered again and he turned to Glenn, a shit-eating smirk etched on his face. After that, he lightly shoved you towards Glenn and he pulled you into his arms, shielding you from the other men in the room.

 You were full-on crying now, not even trying to hide it. Face buried in Glenn’s neck, you missed the look Merle had given you. When the door shut and locked behind you, you jumped slightly and Glenn held you tighter.

 After a minute, you had calmed down enough for Glenn to give you his shirt to cover up. He turned around to give you privacy and when you were done he reached to pull you into his arms again, you clinging to him tightly.

 “I got you,” Glenn said. The two of you slid to the floor and you wiped some tears away, more taking their place. Glenn sat next to you, his hand gripping yours.

 “Did- did he—“

 “No. H-He barely touched me,” you choked out. You were still shaking and to see you broken like this made Glenn’s heart constrict in sadness and anger.

 “A-All this time we were running from the dead and we f-forgot that the living are-are more dangerous. We forget what people d-do. What they’ve always d-done.” You looked at Glenn. “Look at what they did to you.”

 “Doesn’t matter. As long as he didn’t—“

 “He didn’t. I promise.” You managed to give him a smile, but the both of you knew that it wasn’t real. Sniffing again, you wiped your face as Glenn stood up with a groan.

 “What are you doing?” You asked. He limped over to the dead walker and pulled off its arm.

 “Glenn, don’t over exert yourself.” Standing up, you watched as he broke the arm and started pulling out bones. He handed you one, and you took it with a shaky hand. Your eyes met and you nodded in understanding.

 It didn’t take long before you heard footsteps. Quietly moving to stand by the door, it flung open a second later and Glenn charged the man standing there. He then went for Merle and you stabbed the other man in the throat with the jagged piece of bone. When you ripped it out, the man fell to the floor and his gun went off. You automatically crouched to the floor and grabbed the gun after it stopped firing. Merle had Glenn pinned to the floor, knife-hand at his throat, and you pointed the gun him.

 “Let him go, you fucker!” You said. Merle grinned and put his hands up.

 “Okay.” You heard a gun cock behind you and you turned to see one of the men from before. While your attention was there, Merle stood up and grabbed the gun from your hands.

 “Gimme that!” Glenn groaned from his place on the floor and Merle looked at him before yelling, “Get up!”

 Someone grabbed Glenn and hauled him up, Merle going to get you. You flinched when he touched you and he faltered for a second before pointing into the room. Following his silent order, you fell to your knees next to Glenn. Shakily, you grabbed Glenn’s hand.

 “Glad we could catch up,” Merle said. Bags were put over your heads and you felt someone tear apart your hands, tying your wrists together.

 “On your feet! Let’s go, move!”

 You were grabbed and the grip was so tight it made you cry out. Someone pushed you forward and you started walking. Then you heard a loud bang and you stumbled backwards, coughing from smoke. You took the opportunity to take the bag off your head and you sobbed in relief when you saw Dean.

 “D-Dean!” You cried. “Sammy, where’s Sammy?”

 “I gotcha, sweetheart, I gotcha. Sam stayed at the prison just in case you got out before we got here.” He led you through some tunnels and you could hear the men who almost killed you firing at your backs.

 Rick was leading the group and when you got outside, you could see the people living in the town start to panic. Quickly, Rick ushered you all into what looked like an uninhabited building. Dean was the first one in and he made his way to the back of the room. Glenn and Rick were next, Glenn falling to the floor in pain. You were after them, Daryl right on your heels. The door shut behind you and when you felt arms go around you, you freaked out.

 “[Y/n]? It’s just me, babygirl,” Daryl said quietly. He went to give you a hug again and you buried your face in his chest, fingers griping his shirt.

 “There’s no way out back here,” Dean said, walking back to the front.

 “How’d you find us, Rick?” Glenn asked.

 “How bad are you hurt?”

 “I’ll be alright. Where did that woman go?”

 “She was right behind us,” Rick hissed. He went to look outside but closed the curtains soon after opening them.

 “Maybe she was spotted,” Dean said.

 “Want me ta go look for her?” Daryl asked.

 “No. We have to get Glenn and [y/n] out of here. She’s on her own now.”

 Dean handed you a gun and you took it, automatically checking it and seeing how much ammo you had.

 “Daryl, this- this was Merle,” Glenn groaned. He was putting on a sweatshirt and you could hear how much it was hurting him.

 “You saw him?” Rick asked.

 “Face to face. He threw a walker at me and was going to execute us.”

 “S-So my brother’s this governor?”

 “No,” you said. “More like his lieutenant or something.”

 “He know I’m still with ya?” You nodded.

 “He does now,” Glenn said.

 “Rick, I’m sorry but we told him about the prison. We couldn’t hold out,” you said quietly.

 “Don’t. You don’t need to apologize.” He brushed hair off of your forehead and gave you a smile, you returning it with a small one.

 “They’re most likely gonna be looking for us,” you said. “We need to leave.”

 “We do.” Rick looked at Glenn. “Can you walk? We got a car a couple miles out.”

 “I’m good.”

 Rick and Dean helped Glenn off the ground and you peeked out of the window.

 “If Merle’s around, I gotta see him,” Daryl said.

 “Not now.”

 “He’s my brother, I ain’t—“

 “Look at what he did! We gotta- we gotta go now.”

 “I gotta talk ta him. Maybe- Maybe I can work somethin’ out,” Daryl said, hope in his voice.

 “No, you’re not thinking straight.” Rick lowered his voice, trying to make it so you couldn’t hear, but you were close enough that you could.

 “Look, even though they say they’re alright, they’re both hurt. Glenn can barely walk and something bad happened to [y/n]. She’s never flinched like that when someone touched her before. We have to get them both out of here. What happens if we run into a herd and the governor catches up? I need you, you with me?”

 “Yeah. I’m with ya.”

 Daryl knelt down next to the bag they brought and pulled out a couple canisters while Rick took his place next to the door. You and Glenn were behind him and Dean was behind you.

 “On three, we run. Stay tight,” Rick said. He counted to three and Daryl threw the canisters into the street.

 When the smoke was thick enough, you all ran outside. It wasn’t thick enough and one man saw you, pointing you out to his partners. They started firing at you and you fired back. You hit one in the head and watched as he fell off of the bus he was standing on. Rick got one and Daryl got the other right before you heard gunshots ring out from behind you.

 “Behind ya!” Daryl yelled. The two of you turned and returned the fire, walking backwards as quickly as you could without tripping.

 “Get cover!” Rick yelled.

 “[Y/n], come on!” You looked at your big brother and ran after him, following him into a little alcove. It was a small space and you were afraid someone would get shot.

 “How many are there?” Rick asked.

 “Don’t matter. There’s gonna be more of ‘em,” Daryl said.

 “We gotta go,” you said, shooting at a man that got too close. “Got any grenades left?”

 “Yeah,” Daryl grunted.

 “Get ‘em ready. We’re gonna run to the wall,” Rick said.

 “Y’all go on ahead. I’m gonna cover ya,” Daryl said. You shook your head.

 “No, Daryl. We gotta stay together.”

 “Can’t. Too hairy. I’ll be right behind ya.” Grabbing his face, you kissed him.

 “You come back to me, Daryl Dixon. Don’t you dare go.” He kissed you back softly.

 “I love ya,” he whispered. He pulled away and threw a smoke-bomb. Rick grabbed you and you ran, firing at the men who took your family.

 “Come on!” Rick yelled. “Keep going!”

 Dean ushered you in front of him and you followed Glenn. Dean helped Glenn onto the bus and you hauled yourself up, taking Dean’s outstretched hand when Glenn was clear. Dean was calling for Rick and when you were on top of the bus, you called for Daryl.

 “Daryl!” You screamed, firing your gun.

 “Go!” You heard Daryl yell.

 “We gotta go, [y/n]!” Dean said. When you didn’t move he said, “[Y/n], come on!”

 Reluctantly, you jumped off the bus and followed Rick. The four of you moved silently and Rick led you to where they stuffed some bags.

 “Get down,” Rick said quietly.

 “Come on, Daryl,” you whispered. Your eyes were shut and when you heard a rustling, you turned around. You were hoping to see Daryl, but you saw the woman from before instead. Rick quickly got up and pointed his gun at her, everyone else doing the same.

 “Where the hell were you?” Rick spat. “Put your hands up.”

 She put her hands up and Dean took the sword off of her back. You never lowered your gun.

 “You get what you came for?” Rick asked.

 “Where’s the rest of your people?” She asked.

 “Daryl’s missing, did you see him?” You said, voice trembling. She shook her head.

 “If I find out that something happened to him—“ Rick started.

 “I brought you here to save them. They’re saved.”

 “Thanks for the help,” Rick said sarcastically.

 “You’ll need help to get them back to the prison or to go back there to get Daryl. You’re gonna need me either way.”

[maxwell-grant]

One last one for the moment; top five superheroes who definitely AREN'T Pulp Heroes, but could be with a little tweaking?

Oof, that's a hard one. It's a hard one because, again, there ultimately isn't that much separation between the two to the point there's enough of a hard line in there to work with, but I guess the cat's out of the bag now that I've staked claims on there being differences between them.

Okay so, not counting superheroes who are deliberately modeled after actual pulp heroes, so no Tom Strong or Night Raven here. I'm sticking mainly with comic book superheroes (barring one oddball exception) since the medium separation is important), who I think could become pulp heroes with some tweaking.

5: Captain America

Sort of cheating because I already covered it here, but I definitely have to include Captain America in here, especially in the stories they actively go for a "pulp" vibe as well as the earliest ones.

Fun fact about Marvel: As Timely, they actually began life as pulp publishers. Not just pulp publishers, but specializing in some of the sleaziest, ghastliest magazines of the era, and you can bet this carried over to their superheroes. Where as DC's superheroes took inspiration from the big pulp heroes such as The Shadow and Doc Savage, Timely's superheroes seemed instead much more inspired by Weird Tales stories and Poverty Row horror films, and even in the 60s, Marvel never really abandoned their horror roots, the trick was just using them as a baseline to create superheroes. In DC, the world's first contact with superheroes begins with the world looking in wonder at a friendly strongman. In Marvel, it began with the world looking in panicked horror at a flaming monster rampaging through the streets desperately trying to not burn everything it touches. It should come to little surprise then that the majority of characters I'm including in this list are Marvel characters.

People think Captain America's first comics largely consisted of him fighting Nazis left and right, but they were actually much more often based around him encountering monsters and creatures of horror, like the above panel where it looks like Cap's staring down the beginning of Berserk's Eclipse (RIP Miura).

The early Captain America comics pretty much consisted of Kirby dipping his toe into the monster comics he'd make in the 50s which would later bleed into the 60s Marvel entourage. They even tried repackaging Captain America into a horror anthology in the 50s titled "Captain America's Weird Tales", just imagine how different the character would be today if that somehow stuck.

Imagine a world where Steve Rogers never became leader of The Avengers, never got to become the shining beacon of heroism of an entire universe, and instead, when he was unfrosted, he woke up to find a world running rampant with crawling nightmares and Nazi tyranny, and he has no idea what's become of his former sidekick. That definitely sounds like the start of a promising pulp adventure.

4: Namor

Another Timely creation. In Namor's case, he didn't so much encounter horrors from beyond imagination, as much as HE was the terrifying thing beyond us ready to rampage upon mankind, whose first on-screen act consists of the calculated slaughter of a ship full of innocents. The first true villain protagonist of comic books. Not just an anti-hero, a villain intent on wiping out the human race.

And not just a cardboard supervillain, but the beautiful prince of a race of ugly fish monsters, a momma's boy who's doing what he thinks is right by warring with surface dwellers. While Namor's become largely defined by his gargantuan arrogance, here, he's almost childlike, despite being much more brutal and villainous here, spurred on by the whims of his mother, who even acknowledges that Namor had no real reason to kill the divers but did so anyway, and now encourages him to genocide. His mom even tells him "Go now, to the land of white people!", and the very last panel of the story even states he's on a "crusade against white men".

The massacre of explorers at the hands of something beyond their understanding. A monster born of an interracial coupling. A race of fish monsters with bulging eyes, antagonistic towards humanity but are shown to have positive traits just the same. A dash of racism. There is no mistaking The Sub-Mariner's pulp horror influence.

A non-white superhuman warrior born from a Lovecraftian horror story, who gradually moves away from his villainous crusade into becoming more of an anti-hero, never truly putting aside his hatred for humanity, remaining a temperamental, unpredictable outcast, with a strong, palpable undercurrent of anger in his stories. I could very easily buy Namor as having crawled out of a Weird Tales story and I can't think of other superheroes whose origins are as steeped deeply in pulp horror.

3: Doctor Fate

Technically we already have a pulp hero version of Doctor Fate in Doc Fate, and I'll get to him separately, but even besides him, the earliest Doctor Fate stories in particular feel very much like he's a character steeped in the worlds of pulp and pulp horror who decided to put on a superhero costume and show up in comic.

He's got a similar set-up to The Shadow, from the pulp Shadow in the sense that he's a mysterious, eerie crimefighter who dwells as a presence more often than an active character and who kills criminals without remorse, always watching and waiting for the right time to strike as a a wrathful old-testament force of vengeance, and from the radio Shadow due to him using superpowers to fight crime while being accompanied by a smart, fierce love interest.

Originally, Fate was not a sorcerer, but instead a scientist who discovered a way to manipulate atomic structure, of his and other things, thus making it appear that he can do magic (although we never see his face, and he's implied to be thousands of years old, before they settled on the Nabu origin). And going back to Lovecraft, a lot of it appears in the earliest Fate stories. Fate was given powers not by a sorcerer, but an alien worshipped as a god. He barely encounters traditional monsters, but instead contends with hidden races, zombie slaves, abandoned alien monoliths, and half man and half fish creatures. Fate may have actually been the very first pastiche of Lovecraft in pop culture.

And of course we can't forget the gloriousness of Doc Fate pulling an Indiana Jones on us.

2: Wolverine

I don't even think you'd have to tweak Wolverine at all. You'd just have to get him out of the costume and Avengers/X-Men associations (although the X-Men have a substantial background in pulp sci-fi stories like Slan and Odd John, so they aren't really at odds here), maybe tone down his powers a bit and, that's it. Logan's already the kind of character who has such a varied sandbox history, whose powers can lead to so many different scenarios, that it's not a stretch at all to picture Wolverine in the usual pulp hero scenarios.

You can have half-naked Wolverine running around in the jungle with animals Tarzan-style, take him to Savage Land if you wanna throw dinosaurs in there. He's already Marvel's foremost "wandering samurai/cowboy" character which was one of the stock and trade types of the pulps. Western? Done. Samurai? Done. Wuxia? Just put him in China and add a couple extra fantasy elements. Wanna make a sword and sorcery story with him? He already comes with a bunch of knives and savagery and ability to survive grisly injuries. Horror? The MCU is crawling with them, or alternatively, tell a story from the perspective of someone who's being hunted down by Wolverine. Wanna tell a detective/noir/post-apocalypse story? Logan's right there.

Wanna have him crossover with pulp heroes? He's lived through the 1800s and 1900s and traveled all over the world, you could feasibly have him meet up with just about any of them. Logan may actually be the purest example of your question, because he's very much not a Pulp Hero, and yet, he definitely feels like a character who could have been one, at just about any point in the history of pulp magazines. He's perfect for it.

1: Wario

WAAA-okay, look, bear with me for a second here, I'm not just picking Wario because I love oddball choices and he's one of my favorite characters, I got some logic to this.

Okay so, the first question here: is Mario a superhero? While I'm usually adverse to calling characters prominent outside of comic books superheroes (hence why I'm definitely not interested in debating whether Harry Potter or Goku or Link or Frodo are superheroes), I do think it's a pretty shut case that, yes, Mario is a superhero. Superheroes don't just come in the form of skintight crimefighters, right from the start comic books have had varied types of superheroes appearing in comics and comic strips. For example, the "funny animal" superheroes are a type older than superhero comics, and they were arguably not only the most successful type of superhero of the 40s-50s era, but arguably defined trends dominating nonfunny animal superheroes, traits that predated or influenced Captain Marvel as well as Otto Binder's reshaping of Superman that defined much of superhero convention as we know it. It's part of why the question of "Is Sonic a superhero" has a very clear Yes as an answer.

So upon establishing that, yes, funny cartoon characters can be and are superheroes too, is Mario one? Well, I'd say yes. He's got an iconic uniform, he's got superpowers, he goes on fantastical adventures, he is both a nebulously general do-gooder as well as having a clear mission as protector of the Mushroom Kingdom. His adventures span multiple storytelling formats, he's got catchphrases, he even dresses up in Superman's colors and has a Super prefix iconically associated with him. Not a superhero the way we usually think of, but a superhero nonetheless.

And Wario? Well, putting aside Wario-Man who's more of a running gag than anything, Wario does just about everything Mario does. He's got all the traits that define Mario as a superhero short of a Super prefix and the selfless mission (which isn't exactly a rule). He goes around and gets into crazy adventures, he picks up items, beats bad guys, conquers the odds, and gets some kind of prize for it. He's got Mario's physical traits, and Mario's costume, and just about the same name short of a single letter. The caveat being, of course, that he's Wario, and so everything Mario is or does has to be exaggerated to gross extreme.

Mario is paunchy and strong, Wario's round and built like a powerlifter. Mario's got a friendly face and a fluffy mustache, Wario's got a massive horrible grin and jagged razors for a stache. Mario is a bit of an overeater, Wario can and will eat anything in front of him. Mario gets around with acrobatics and magic power-ups, Wario brute forces his way through everything and just rolls with whatever injuries he picks up along the way.

Mario gets fire powers by consuming magic flowers. Wario sets himself on fire and barrels around destroying everything in his path. Mario harnesses the elements or abilities of beings around him to clear obstacles and solve puzzles, Wario gets turned into a zombie, a vampire or a drunk to get the same things done. Mario befriends and rides dinosaurs who raised him from infancy, Wario piledrives dinosaurs and then uses their bodies to beat up more dinosaurs. Mario pals around with fellow heroes, princesses and friendly fantasy creatures, Wario pals around with aliens, witches, mad scientists, cab drivers, and lanky weirdos. Mario always ends his adventures joyfully leaping to the next one, Wario usually ends up either cackling in a pile of treasure or completely broke.

Mario races through plains to rescue princesses, Wario invades pyramids to hunt for treasure. Mario jumps through planets with baby stars guiding his path, Wario crashes into the Amazon jungle and fistfights the devil. You can see where I'm going with this.

If you were to take one of Nintendo's heroes to make them into pulp heroes, Wario, specifically the Wario Land Wario, may be the only one who really could do it, because in essence, he's the videogame equivalent of Professor Challenger. He's Bluto moonlighting as Indiana Jones, the weird brute adventurer for weird brute adventures where everything's off limits and you can trust our intrepid hero, who really shouldn't be a hero on all accounts, to deliver us a good time, give or take a couple deaths, scams, shams and oh-damns to complete said mad treasure hunts.