#I always knew she was homophobic
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Tbh saying that people hate the 13th doctor 'just because she's a woman' is a really bad-faith stupid take. You can enjoy 13. But if you make a point like that it's actually you who's dismissive and making it about gender.
#I tried really really fuckin hard to like 13 BECAUSE she's the first female doctor and I knew everybody would throw a hissy fit#unfortunately I could talk for hours about why I don't like the writing or characterization#unfortunately.#and I um. I havent watched the new episodes of 14 yet but I'm scared because I think it's gonna suck#from what I've seen#and I'm gonna be stuck in the middle again as someone who really doesn't like it but also isn't a raving homophobe racist#zero nuance from everybody you either gotta be super on board with the weird new direction or people want you to join the dark side#and people will claim 'the show's always been like this you're just stupid and nostalgia blind!' when the show is straight up a musical now#I'll give it a shot but I'm worried#it's such a damn shame because I was so excited when I heard that not only is the new doctor ICON NCUTI GATWA but that RTD is also back#dcotor who
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Thinking about the gay Mormon kid I met in middle school and how all the other Mormons were convinced he was gay-faking and actually straight
#mormon children are so funny they be like ''if someone hears me say fuck i could be disowned and excommunicated. i support u being gay tho#i'll always support you the way you are'' <- actual unironic convos i had with my mormon friend in 5th grade#like days apart first she was like i can never swear and then when i came out to my class as bi#she was the Nicest straight person about it like of course the other girls who were questioning or already knew were supportive#straight kids had a more diverse opinion on it lol but this mormon girl got me she was so good#definitely part of my gay awakening bc i spent months being like ''i cant be bi bc if i was i would have a crush on Her. but i dont''#''i only feel this way bc she has beautiful red hair and freckles which i adore and she is super sweet to me. thats not gay''#and this went on for 3 months and then i had a wet dream about a different girl and i was like OH. well the evidence is growing#wow these tags have nothing to do with this gay mormon kid lololol nothing much to say about him#i didnt know him very well tbh like we spoke a little bit and he did come out to me but most of what i learned about him was rumors#and def i feel like he got the typical gay kid treatment of being ostracized lied about and picked on#idk why you would choose to subject urself to that if u arent ssa like it is not easy to be out in this area#its maybe not Dangerous bc more people are coming out every year but its certainly still viewed as a severe sin#its not seen as a neutral thing by mosr churches although several churches have sprung up that specifically welcome and accept lgbt people#thats a super interesting divide to me bc i Still meet christians who cant even hear about gay people without talking#about how sad gayness is and how gay souls are in danger and the last time i ever visited a church the sermon was homophobic#yet the city decorates for pride every year and even certain churches will decorate for it#the culture is certainly changing lolol but as long as there are ''gay love is sodomy'' christians around here#then its always going to be a struggle for lgb youth bc they are straight up hostile
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Hurray!! My sister came out to my mum as bi/pan and told ma she had a girlfriend and it went well! She's not 100% supportive but we'll get there
#My mom actually found out about her girlfriend back in February but didn't tell anyone she knew#And although she knew she still allowed my sister and her “bestie” to hang out and even let my sister's gf sleep in our house lol#Our aunt also knows and she's supportive (which is not surprising because my aunt is a lesbian lol)#Dad doesn't know yet and my sister is not ready to tell him because he's more homophobic than ma#He'll probably be unsupportive in the beginning but will be accepting eventually because his sister is literally a lesbian lmao#And although she's a lesbian dad still loves her because they're siblings and mom and dad even bought my aunt's gf/wife a rainbow cake lol#But they did hide that my aunt and her “best friend” were actually gay from us during our childhood because#“ohh kids won't understand and being gay is inappropriate for kids and we don't want them to turn gay”#So like. Not 100% supportive but at least it's not “GAYS ARE EVIL IM DISOWNING YOU FROM OUR FAMILY NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!!”#Oh right and my mom is bi and she told us it's okay and normal to like the same gender as long as you don't act on it#And talked about having a crush on a girl when she was younger but never doing anything about it because she knows it's a sin#I think my parents are more transphobic than homophobic tbh#I have a trans relative and they interact with her and talk to her but they always misgender her#I don't think I'm going to come out as trans anytime soon#There was this one time they were mocking nonbinary people and they/them pronouns and ouch lol#But yayyy I'm happy for my sister!!
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why are you gay?
I’m gay for three very simple reasons bestie!
Women
Out of spite
To bring shame to my super mega conservative country
#answered ask#i always knew being gay in venezuela was like frown upon but apparently they made it straight up illegal to be gay#literally can go to prison for it and I know that’s not new for other countries but vnzla is literally the only latam country that does that#for what I’ve seen#so yeh I’m gonna promote illegal behavior!#also my family is super homophobic and someone has to be the shame bringer of the family who better than me?#when my grandma is on her death bed I’m gonna whisper to her ‘I want to fuck women’ so she has a heart attack and dies faster#im single handedly destroying this family for the fun of it you made me miserable? it’s now my time to shine >:3#anyway love is love be gay kiss a man kiss a woman kiss a nb person 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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pov your dad sends you an article about elliot page and says it’s a good read and you start crying 👍
#idk it’s like.#my mom constantly making excuses and being so quick to defend herself for misgendering people#the conversation we had the other day in which she called being trans a trend#meanwhile my dad reading articles about Elliot page and going out of his way to read about trans people#that time he picked up a book in a bookstore called like how to use the singluar they a guide for cis people or something#him being probably worse than my mom at not misgendering people but always apologizing and sounding sincere about it#my mom still being in denial about me being a lesbian#while he has accepted it fully to the point of being comfortable making a joke about it the other night#not a mean or homophobic joke just a lighthearted joke about me not liking men#I haven’t stopped thinking about that moment if only he knew how much that meant to me#my mom is the louder voice in the household and so a lot of the time I take the things she says and ascribe them to my parents collectively#but that’s not the case here#it makes me feel so warm#one day I’ll thank him for this#sometimes opal says stuff
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#death tw#my grandma passed away yesterday and im fine cause we did not have a relationship at all#but we didnt have a relationship cause she was Openly Homophobic to me#and im seeing all my cousins and relatives post these sweet posts for her#she was the best grandma she was so compassionate and accepting#who was always a phone call away and im like#damn i wish i had that grandma!#the grandma i had ostracized and ignored me once i came out#and made comments about me to my mom#so where did yall get that grandma i want one#that sounds lovely to have a nice grandparent anyone want to loan one out#cause the only type ive ever known is Bad#but anyways thats making me more upset than the actual fact that she died is#like the person yall are talking about is a complete stranger to me#how am i supposed to be sad when the person i knew i considered an incredibly distant relative#who i hadnt seen or spoke to in 5+ years#and who didnt like me#(there's a really good bakery near her tho that i do miss. hm.)#delete later#edit: i meant to put after the phone call bit that once on her birthday i tried to call her#and she let me get one question in then made an excuse and hung up on me#so it certainly wasnt for lack of me trying
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Got to talk with my grandpa and a few relatives today and it was really nice. We looked through photo albums and my grandpa basically forced me to take some of my grandmas old shirts cuz he’s trying to slowly get rid of a lot of stuff. He also talked a lot about her last couple weeks which was heartbreaking but also comforting at the same time. I live in a different state now so I wasn’t able to physically be here for any of this and my brother travels for work so he wasn’t there either. It was nice to know how my family came together, usually this side of the family is pretty argumentative but even my aunt who hasn’t talked to any of us in years pitched in and came over for a few days. I miss my grandma a lot. I didn’t see her much after my parents divorced but it was good to reminisce over stuff that she did while I was growing up and also to learn a lot of stuff I didn’t know, like how she swam with a tiger and got locked in a cathedral in Europe. I love her and am grateful for the time we had together, I wish I could have physically been there during those last days though. Tomorrow we are going to her memorial and then we are going to a local restaurant she loved that we reserved part of. I don’t have my medication right now so the one pro is I can drink without worrying about having the world’s worst hangover after only a couple beers. I think it will be a good experience.
#I’m slightly nervous that this girl I went to school with will be tending bar there though#I knew she used to be a bartender there and idk like it’s gonna be awkward#I mean I can always say ‘my grandma died I don’t wanna talk’ but#I like this person she one of the few not-homophobic ppl to me once I came out#but we have so little in common anymore it feels like#before we bonded over music but her punk days seem pretty far behind her
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i hate my coworkers so much lol
#i hate their obsession with other people's lives#i hate how every morning it's the same conversation of “by this age you have to be out of your parent's house”#“you have to be married” “you have to have kids”#or else you're failing at life#and the age is always under MY age so even if they're not saying it to ME it feels like it#and ugh it shouldn't bother me because it's bullshit but i'm sick of it#and that's without taking into account their homophobic comments#you know the kind that's not “i hate gay people” but “she's pretty for a lesbian” or “he's handsome for a gay man” or “what a waste”#or “ew being with a woman (as another woman)”#they're so toxic i wish i had a say in not having my meals with them but we have designated times that depend on our tasks#and I don't tell them anything about me because of that but part of me wishes they knew about me and about my personal life#cause maybe then they would be more careful with what they say#but also it wouldn't change the fact that they would talk about me like that behind my back AND that it won't change at all how they think#cause they're old and religious and close minded people#and yeah I don't want them knowing anything personal about me#i just wish that meant i didn't have to listen to all of that#maybe i will start watching shows on my phone with headphones during meals#they might think it's rude but fuck them#anyway sorry i needed to rant#tw homophobia#just in case
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Lamenting over a Friendship
Dang, texting my friend sucks so much. Even when we banter and I make jokes I feel empty. Like 5/6 months ago I know how I would have been reacting, but even when I start to find it fun now my emotions just turn stale.
His messages telling me to never say I loved him made me regret caring for him at all.
Maybe this is something time can fix but how I view him fundamentally has changed and it colors every interaction we have.
#MyLife#damn this sucks#I just feel empty in regards to him#MyRambles#I can't get over it what he said and did#and why he did it#and its like damn he knew I was a lesbian but let his homophobic girlfriend control our friendship because she was jealous#in her defense she didnt and doesnt know i'm gay but as i always say every time i mention this sue me for not wanting a homophobe to know#that i'm gay#It is weird#he was my best friend for 4.5 years#and now every time we talk I feel apathetic#whenever i think of him i think of him as my ex friend#my kind of friend#when i refer to him to my friends i call him the guy that i had all the friend drama with#i used to call him my best friend#my closest friend from home#Sad over losing someone who is still there#We were JOKING and i know that prior to everything he said the conversation we are having over snap would have made me so happy that i would#walk around my apartment like ten times and be grinning so hard that i would feel it after the fact#now i am just kind of straight faced with the beginnings of my eyes watering
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Guy and a Gain
“Sure, she’s cute. But she can’t give a decent blow job to save her life,” Guy shrugged, checking out the girls on the dancefloor with his football buddy, Rich.
“You’ve slept with her already?” Rich asked, always impressed by Guy’s prowess.
“Of course I have. Look at her. She’s the prettiest girl in here by far,” he nodded down at her. “But she has no instincts when it comes to giving head. She’s been my biggest disappointment since I arrived on campus.”
“I’m sure she could learn,” Rich shrugged, still taken with the girl. He was tall and broad and enough of a catch for her. However, he didn’t have the natural good looks, strapping build and height that made it so effortless for Guy to pick up whoever he wanted on a night out.
“If you want her, go buy her a drink,” Guy shrugged. “But I’m telling you, you’ll be disappointed. If it’s a decent blow job you’re after tonight, you can’t go wrong with a fat girl. They’re always out to please. Gay guys too - awesome at taking a dick in their mouth.”
“Dude!” Rich shot back, taking a step back in horror. “You’re telling me you’re gay?”
Guy laughed, rolled his eyes and shook his head. He strapped his big arm over Rich’s shoulders and pulled him back in. “Don’t be that guy,” he stated warningly. “Not if you and I are going to be friends. It’s not the nineties. You hear what I’m saying?” he asked, turning his head to Rich. There was no denying which of them would win in a fight, so he wasn’t about to take some outdated homophobic shit just because the idiot came from some backwards ghost town in the midwest. “I love sex. And I stick my dick wherever it feels good. That’s just the kind of man I am.”
Rich seemed to get that he’d been out of line and he nodded respectfully. All the boys on the football team looked up to Guy, not just for his sporting capability and strength, but because he genuinely didn’t seem to give a crap about what others thought about him. He was smart and sharp; perfectly suited to the business degree he was studying. “So who’s given you the best time since we started college?” he asked.
“You’d be surprised,” Guy chuckled. “I have this skinny little geek in the room next to mine. You could tell he was a total virgin until I came along, but… fuck me! The boy is a natural when it comes to sucking. And so convenient, right next door. I don’t even have to knock.”
Rich nodded; his world view was a little less narrow than it had been a few minutes ago and he now seemed genuinely interested in his team mate’s extensive experiences in the bedroom. They chatted a bit more, until Guy saw the girl he wanted that night. Short, round and eyeing him like crazy. He’d give her a night she’d never forget!
“She was a bit of a noisy one last night,” Mikey grumbled, sliding into the kitchen area the next morning.
Guy laughed and tore a large bite out of his toast with his teeth. “Sorry, buddy,” he laughed. “I forgot you nerds all go to bed at 9am.”
Mikey rolled his eyes and poured himself some cereal. It was rare that they ever got the kitchen space to themselves like this, but Guy was always up for his gym session, no matter what time he went to bed. He sat there, hunched at the breakfast bar, his damp clothes sticking to his enormously muscular body. Even unshowered and stinking of sweat like this, he knew he could still get his favorite neighbor, Mikey, to go down on him in a microsecond.
“I noticed you brought home another fat girl,” Mikey commented next, grabbing the last of his own fresh milk that Guy had left him, after downing most of it post-workout. “You’re making quite a habit of this.”
Guy rose to his feet and laughed, dropping his plate in the sink for Mikey to clean up after him and grabbing the boy by his hips from behind. “Spying on me, huh?” he whispered teasingly. The boy was at least half a foot shorter than him, melting the moment he was touched. “Jealous, perhaps?”
Mikey moaned as he felt Guy’s lustful hands slide into his crotch to check how hard he was. “I just thought…” he mumbled, “some people find it odd when athletes like you date the fat girls.”
“Because I really give a shit about what people think, don’t I?” Guy chuckled back, peeling back Mikey’s shorts so that his tight glutes were exposed. “I could fuck your skinny little ass later if you think it might balance things out a bit?” he teased. He strolled off to the refrigerator, leaving Mikey to cover himself back up before anyone else came in, perusing the shelf of food Mikey had bought for himself yesterday and seeing if there was anything he wanted to help himself to. “Just because you eat like a little sparrow...,” he sighed, seeing the boring items within and taking a large pot of yoghurt to eat in his bedroom, “... it doesn’t mean that everyone else has to.”
Later that evening, Guy lay back on Mikey’s bed, his head swirling from the intensity of the orgasm after shooting down his geeky neighbor’s throat. He’d never admit to his face how good Mikey was at this, but of the scores of people he had slept with since coming to college, Mikey was the only one he’d made a habit of going back to.
“How was that?” the keen boy asked; his eyes watering from having taken Guy so far down his throat.
“Average,” Guy lied, wishing the nerd would be quiet a few moments longer and allow him this period of pure bliss.
“Not like the fat girls you bring home with you then?” Mikey asked.
Guy opened his eyes and sighed, sitting up. “Are you still going on about that?” he grumbled, pulling his underwear back up his muscular legs and raising his butt to get them all the way up.
“I kinda wanted to ask you something?” Mikey tried next, in an oddly serious tone.
Again, Guy sighed impatiently. “What is it?”
“These fat girls you go after… do you ever get horny thinking about them… y’know… getting even fatter?”
Guy raised an eyebrow. What sort of an odd question was that? He shrugged his shoulders, deciding not to commit to an answer and see where the hell Mikey was going with this. “Why do you ask?”
Mikey seemed emboldened by Guy’s response, getting up from his kneeling position on the floor and sitting on the chair by his desk. “It’s just… sort of a fantasy of mine,” he explained.
“Me fucking fat chicks?” Guy asked sceptically? He realised he knew so little about what genuinely got Mike going.
“No. Not that,” he replied, shaking his head. “There’s just something so kinky and submissive about getting fat for someone; becoming soft and out of shape.”
Guy looked across, even more puzzled, despite doing his best to hide it. “You eat less food than anyone else I know,” he shot back. “You won’t be getting fat anytime soon!”
Mikey nodded, as if Guy had hit the nail right on the head. “Exactly!” he smiled. “Imagine if someone pushed me to get fat for them! If some dominant guy made me eat all the things that forced my body to grow and grow for his own pleasure. How fucking sexy would that be?”
Nodding, Guy considered the idea. “You’re definitely submissive enough,” he agreed, standing and pulling up his sweat shorts.
“You’re not going to tell anyone I told you that, are you?” Mikey asked, suddenly panicked.
“Who the fuck do you think would be interested?” Guy laughed. “People are allowed to have kinks, y’know? You need to lighten up a little!”
Mikey nodded back in agreement. Neither of them socialised within the same circles anyway. Guy was nothing if not liberal when it came to all things to do with sex. It was water off a duck’s back.
Mikey didn’t mention the subject the next time Guy went over for his servicing, despite being surprisingly chatty about his day afterwards. Guy listened out of a vague politeness as he stretched out on Mikey’s comfortable bed and watched the TV screen in the background. He could relax around Mikey. The guy didn’t take any of this too seriously and never got clingy or sentimental. Sex was sex.
In fact, it was only as Guy spotted Mikey in the corner at a frat house party, that he realised he had never actually seen Mikey outside of the dorms until then. Their lives were so disconnected, with the exception of the thin wall that separated their dorm rooms. He waved politely, following the other athletes through to the kitchen, where the usual fun and drinking games took place.
Later that evening, with a circle of women swarming around him, Guy looked over to see a boy looking in Mikey’s direction. Tall, slim and not unattractive, he gave Guy the distinct impression that he was interested in the nerdy boy. “Does anyone know who that one is?” Guy asked the girls.
“That’s just Aiden,” one replied. “He’s got a crush on that guy over there,” she pointed at Mikey. “They're on the same course together or something.”
Aiden? That name rang a bell. Guy was sure he’d heard that name mentioned by Mikey a few times in the past. It surprised him how little he had actually considered Mikey’s life outside of their casual fucking. Of course Mikey was going to pique someone else’s interest at some point. Guy wasn’t the type to get into a relationship, but perhaps Mikey would be. Then what would happen? No more awesome blow jobs for a start. Normal people weren’t good at sharing.
“Hey, Mikey!” Guy suddenly shouted from across the room, catching sight of Aiden moving in, as if to make his move. “Come grab a drink with me.”
Mikey smiled and diligently headed over. There, Guy wrapped a big arm over his slim shoulders and slipped a shot into his hand. Guy himself didn’t drink, never needing alcohol to make him fun at a party and refusing to fuck his training up with toxins that could impact his progress. There he stood, guarding the boy from any who may try to come near. Ten minutes was all they stayed after that, walking back to the dorms so that Aiden couldn’t sneak his way towards Mikey when Guy wasn’t looking.
“Are you coming in?” Guy asked, opening the door to his own bedroom and inviting Mikey inside.
“I’m honoured!” Mikey joked, having never been invited into Guy’s room before. He stepped over the threshold, into the dungeon of mess, sweat and sex.
The idea of Aiden had plagued Guy’s mind, suddenly making him realise just how much he had taken Mikey, and his awesome sucking skills, for granted. A gesture was required; a way to show the boy that his pleasure was important too. Guy stood in the middle of the room, planting his feet solidly and pulled the geek into him; kissing him passionately in an almost romantic manner. “Did you like that?” he grinned afterwards, knowing how well he could seduce when he wanted to. He pulled off his shirt and went in again, this time guiding Mikey’s hands to explore his muscular chest. He needed Mikey to know what an absolutely perfect specimen he was if the boy was going to be asked out by Aiden soon; let him see what he would be missing out on if he got into a relationship. “Let’s take off your clothes,” Guy whispered next, undressing Mikey himself until his pants and underwear fell around his feet and he stood there naked, erect and longing for him.
Mikey seemed to appreciate how different this all was. Guy was the first to admit that he never really put the effort in when it came to his sessions with the boy next door. Then, when Guy started sliding his large hand up and down Mikey’s hardness, the skinny boy moaned like he could climax at any time.
Guy had no intention of losing his fuck buddy. For the last hour, he’d been plotting how best to handle the situation, settling upon something he decided he could give Mikey better than anyone else. He threw open his closet door where a mirror rested on the other side, now reflecting Mikey perfectly back at himself.
“Who’s that skinny little shit in the mirror?” Guy teased him, looking like a monster of pure muscle stood behind him.
In the mirror, Mikey watched Guy’s hand slowly sliding up and down his hardness; his lust filled eyes half closed and his jaw slack.
“I want you to do something for me,” Guy whispered next. “I want you to drink my protein shakes,” he nodded backwards to the little minibar that also served as a bedside table for him. “Five hundred and eighty calories each,”
Mikey turned and looked up at him, as if the reflected version was merely a mirage. “You want me to drink all your shakes?” he asked, as if worried he had misunderstood.
“Yeah, I do…” Guy nodded down at him. “Every last drop.”
Guy could feel Mikey almost quivering with arousal. He bent down to his little fridge and popped the lid on one of his shakes.
“You know what these will do to you, right?” Guy grinned. “These aren’t made for skinny little dweebs like you. Boys who drink these and don’t exercise… they start to…” he whispered, keeping Mikey hanging on his every word. “...They start to get a little fat!””
Mikey nodded with absolute submission; his hands twitching to take the bottle from Guy’s large hand.
“Say goodbye to the skinny boy,” Guy laughed, nodding at the reflection once more, before twisting the mirror slightly so that the angle changed. Then he sat himself against the headboard of his bed. He spread his legs, pulling Mikey to sit into his crotch with his back resting against his strapping chest. Cleverly, Mikey could still see everything in the mirror as Guy’s hand rose up his neck, tipping his head back so that it rested on his muscular shoulder. Then those strong fingers pressed into Mikey’s cheeks, opening the jaws and turning Mikey’s mouth into the perfect pouring hole for the shake.
The mixture was cold. Guy took his time, adding a little at a time, as if making Mikey work for it. He theatrically rubbed the boy’s throat, like he was encouraging a good swallow; then went straight back to work on that aching erection. Once one bottle was down, Guy could reach with his giant arm span down into his minibar for the next, without even having to move Mikey. Then, down went another, and another.
“Can you see what’s happening?” Guy whispered, rubbing a hand over Mikey’s bloating stomach.
“It looks so big!” Mikey moaned back, with Guy having to pull his hand away from the boy’s erection once again in order to stop him climaxing.
“This is what you’re going to grow for me,” Guy demanded. “Every day, everything you eat… all for me.”
Mikey moaned so loudly now, it felt almost cruel to deny him his orgasm any longer. “Yes!” he nodded emphatically. “I swear. I absolutely swear!”
Guy only needed to touch him for a few seconds and the eruption that followed was more explosive than any he had ever seen a guy make. He looked at the splatter above the headboard behind them and chuckled. It was almost as high as he could get it himself. This was certainly a strange kink that Mikey had, but Guy felt that he had made his point well. No one was going to indulge this geek in his fantasies about weight gain; at least, not like Guy could. So why would Mikey need to look for connections anywhere else?
A few days later, Guy did a double take as he looked on Mikey's shelf in the refrigerator for food he could steal after his workout. Gone were the boring, sensible ingredients, replaced with high carb options, sugars and high fat dairy. Guy almost thought he was just confused, until he checked out the cupboard that Mikey kept for himself as well, finding a similar story. He frowned in confusion, wondering whether people had reorganised the kitchen space, until the encounter with Mikey nights before came back to him. Was the boy actually going to have a go at gaining a few pounds? How cute was that? But would this mean that Guy would have to buy more of his own food whilst Mikey was going through this little phase of his?
The normally fresh and clean smell of Mikey’s room was tainted by spices and the sweaty, grease stained food containers that piled up on the boy’s desk. Mikey himself looked bloated and sluggish, his stomach stretched so much that he was obviously in some discomfort. Guy looked down at him, trying to hold back a laugh. “Someone’s been enjoying himself!” he teased.
Mikey nodded. “If I’d have known you wanted to stop by tonight, I’d have saved the pizza so you could watch me eat it all for you.”
Guy wondered what on Earth Mikey expected him to get out of watching him eat a pizza. Was it supposed to be kinky? Like the protein shakes? Perhaps it was part of the submission aspect. All the same, it sounded more than a little dull. But this was Mikey’s kink and Guy was hardly about to shame him about it. On the contrary, how exciting that the otherwise vanilla boy was actually doing something that he genuinely found thrilling. “We’ll have a little fat belly on you in no time!” he smirked, reaching down to pat the clearly overstuffed stomach.
Like a flip switching in Mikey’s mind, the boy instantly became more aroused. Guy took notice, rubbing the stomach more and more, until Mikey finally fished out Guy’s boner and set his magic mouth to work.
“Have you seen Mikey recently?” asked Hannah, a former conquest of Guy's and the girl who lived across the hallway. “He’s seriously packed on the Freshman Fifteen.”
“You probably just saw him after he’d had a meal,” Guy replied knowingly. “He tends to eat a lot in one go. He gets bloated.”
Hannah shook her head, not accepting the excuse in the slightest. “This was first thing in the morning. He has actual love handles!” she stated emphatically.
Now it was Guy’s turn to shake his head. He’d only been in to play with Mikey a few days before the Spring Break and he hadn’t noticed any sign of love handles before then.
Hannah laughed. “Seriously!” she chuckled. “I’m not making this up.”
Guy marched down the corridor and knocked on Mikey’s door, making Hannah laugh as she stayed in the kitchen. “Wakey, wakey!” he called out, knowing that the boy was rarely up at this time on a Saturday. In the short space of time that it took a groggy Mikey to get out of bed, the door clicked unlocked and in Guy went, closing the door behind him. The dark, hunched form of Guy’s drowsy neighbor slipped straight back into bed. Instead, Guy strolled over to the window and threw them open dramatically. “Time to get up!” he teased.
As light flooded the room, Guy could see the mess of wrappers and containers that was testament to how much Mikey had been overfeeding himself since he arrived back on Wendesday night. He laughed to himself, picking up some of the mess and putting it on the boy’s desk. Then, knowing that it would frustrate Mikey, he reached for the duvet and yanked it away with full force, uncovering the entirely naked boy lying on his front underneath.
Guy’s eyes flew to the little rounded pads of flesh on Mikey’s side, the skin starting to crease and mark the area more clearly: love handles, without a shadow of a doubt. “Ho, ho!” he blasted in amusement. “Look at you!” he marvelled, reaching his big hand down onto his neighbor’s glute and finding it was squishy and significantly bouncier, with clearly added mass to it. “Someone is actually getting chubby!” he teased, absolutely astonished with the difference. That skinny little ass was gone, replaced with something much more meaty and even a little feminine.
Despite his tiredness, Mikey wrigged with arousal at the touch as Guy began playing with the softness that even spread down into his thighs. He rolled over; his erection already sizable as he tried to open his eyes and look towards Guy, even with the harsh light coming in through the window behind him.
What was happening to Mikey’s chest? Guy inspected further. The nipples seemed softer and the blubbery build up in the boy’s love handles was further spread across his stomach, deepening his belly button. “Stand up,” Guy demanded. “I want to look at you properly.”
Mikey did as he was told, Guy placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders, guiding him over to the mirror, so that he could see all angles at once.
“Fuck!” Guy laughed, seeing what a transformation had been silently happening behind his back. He felt proud. The biggest complaint people had about Mikey, here in the dorms, was that he was a fairly dull and boring person. Well, look at him now! This was hardly boring. The kinky little fucker was actually doing something none of them would ever have the guts to do. “I’m pleased,” Guy told him honestly, looking at his face in the reflection. “How does it feel for you?”
At this Mikey’s hands began exploring himself, grabbing at the fat and jiggling where he could with the tips of his fingers. “Amazing!” he whispered back, bursting with arousal.
“Well then…” Guy smiled, placing his hand back on Mikey’s chubby glute: his favorite new feature by far. “...You have to keep going,” he stated. “Keep eating and eating. Add more and more fresh fat onto this frame of yours.”
“I will,” Mikey nodded back obediently. “If it’s what you want. I’ll keep going as far as I can!”
Guy had never seen Mikey’s dick dribbling with arousal so easily. If this weight gain and submission was what aroused him so much, there was no way he could let it stop. “It’s what I want,” Guy agreed. “I want you to grow a proper fat belly, just for me.”
The pair kissed. Guy had never felt Mikey moan and collapse into him quite so much; like a ragdoll, ready to be played with.
“I know what’ll help…” Guy laughed, pulling down his pants and tugging on his own semi-erection until it was pumped and hard. “Let’s lubricate your throat ready for a full day of eating,” he joked cheekily.
Immediately, Mikey slipped to his knees. His jaws opened and he hungrily took the whole of Guy’s enormous erection down his throat like no one else on campus could. It took Guy by surprise each time, how instantaneous the pleasure was. He had to spread his legs a little more and reach one hand out to steady himself on the wall for fear that he may fall over. He didn’t need to press Mikey’s head into his crotch. The boy needed no guidance in the slightest. It was all just so perfect.
An involuntary moan escaped Guy’s lips. Now that his fuck buddy was getting fat, he wouldn’t have to worry about someone trying to steal him away. Mikey’s mouth was all his.
No one on campus was aware that Guy and Mikey were anything more than casual acquaintances, and so no one was cautious about discussing Mikey weight gain around Guy. The overall feeling was one of amusement. In many ways, it was understandable. Mikey had indeed been incredibly thin at the start of the year and he was heading towards the summer looking significantly softer and padded. For the most part, Guy simply ignored it, or tried to move the conversations away. He wasn’t about the campus drama and the behind the scenes bad-mouthing like some of the others. Sure, people were going to talk, but they didn’t have the full story in the same way that Guy did.
The final football game of the season arrived and Guy was pumped for it. He didn’t get nervous like the others seemed to. He was also bigger than everyone else on the field, not weighed down by excess weight, making him lighter on his feet than the opposition ever expected from him. He’d been buzzing the entire morning, heading to the gym for a full session despite the advice from his coach to rest that morning. He simply had too much energy to spare. He knocked on Mikey’s door wondering whether the boy was up for a little fun before he had to leave. Unlike everyone else in the dorms, Mikey never came down to the games. He simply wasn’t into sports, and that was fair enough. In fact, Mikey seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that it was even taking place that day, answering the door and ushering Guy inside excitedly.
“Look what I bought!” the chubby boy smiled, leading Guy over to his desk where a large, round cake sat waiting for a party of twenty people to come in and start feasting upon it. “I’m going to try and eat it all this afternoon!” he beamed.
Guy chuckled to himself, seeing the erection already pressing against Mikey’s sweatshorts. “You go for it, buddy!” he smiled, clapping the boy on his back. His enthusiasm for overeating and putting on weight was almost infectious at times. He lifted the plastic lid and swept his finger around the edge, gathering a decent amount of cream which Mikey excitedly sucked off.
“Do you want to feed it to me?” Mikey asked, pulling his shirt off to reveal his softening torso.
Inwardly, Guy sighed with disappointment. How long would that take? He had to leave in twenty minutes or so, and if Mikey’s mouth was going to be occupied that entire time, there was no chance of a quick blow job.
“How about…” Guy began, lifting his own shirt off and dropping his shorts and underwear, “...we both have a little fun at the same time?”
“What did you have in mind?” Mikey asked, watching as Guy pulled out the lubricant from the drawer and squirted it into his hand.
Guy looked down at him with a smirk. Then he reached a hand into Mikey’s crack and began preparing the area, making the boy moan with arousal as his large fingers brushed and gently penetrated. Mikey pulled down his underwear to help him and was soon leaning into it so much that Guy could give him a decent warm up.
Having a firm press down on his back, Mikey obediently slipped onto all fours. Guy reached for the cake and placed it underneath the boy’s face. “Ready?” he asked, reaching for Mikey’s jaw, as if loosening it up for better movement and stretch.
Mikey’s eyes were on the prize. His head was lowered down into it, perhaps more than he was expecting, his nose now pressing into the sponge and his tongue lapping it all up with ferocious speed.
Guy assumed his position, grabbing a condom, sliding his hardness into Mikey’s gaping butt and sighing with pleasure. As blessed as most people told him he was with such a large dick, Guy found he was rarely allowed to settle into his own good rhythm when penetrating. There was simply too much of him to handle. WIth Mikey, however, the boy just seemed to relax so much, it was like total freedom for Guy. After wincing the initial time they had tried this, Mikey took to it with ease. He was the only one Guy could properly deliver what he referred to as a ‘thorough pounding’.
Through the mirror, Guy could see that Mikey’s face was now covered in cake as he tried to gorge himself at the same time as his body was getting pumped from behind. Guy laughed, happy to take the control that Mikey offered up so willingly. “Come on!” he chuckled. “You can do better than that!” he called out encouragingly, seeing Mikey’s tongue scrabbling about trying to lick up as much as he could.
The fat on Mikey’s back had really come a long way since they had last done this. The love handles in particular seemed to ripple and bounce out of sync with the rest of his body. The bones in his shoulder blades were less severe and an emerging softness appeared to be forming just under his arms. However, the boy’s butt was the centerpiece; the way it was spread so wide and felt so much softer to the touch as Guy gripped on.
A moan started emanating from Mikey. In the mirror, his eyes were rolling up into his head. He began oinking - actually oinking, as he continued to gorge himself. Guy sped up. There was nothing he got off to more than seeing someone else genuinely getting lost in the moment. Mikey was letting go like never before.
“That’s it!” Guy cried out. “Oink like a pig!”
Without even a hand anywhere near his own hardness, it was obvious that Mikey was climaxing. His face fell upon the cake and he groaned louder than he ever had during sex before. The whole thing made the pleasure build upon Guy with rapid speed; almost taken by surprise as he felt himself squirt.
Guy wiped the sweat from his brow and sighed in relief. He’d rarely felt so completely satisfied before. He pulled out, stopping only momentarily to chuckle at the wide, gaping hole he left behind, then unpeeled the condom and began dressing himself. The mess was everywhere, cake smashed into the carpet that would take some time to scrub out.
“Thanks for that,” Guy smiled, looking down at the fat boy who had rolled onto his doughy rear and not even attempted to clean any of the cake off his face yet. He too seemed to be enjoying momentary bliss, grabbing at the first roll of his fattened stomach like it was the most precious thing in the world. Guy’s work was done here.
During the summer months, Guy had sweet talked his way into an internship with a local company, hoping to boost his CV for when he finished his degree in a further two years. He didn’t need to be told that his pretty face would be an asset for the company, but he was surprised at how much more he was interacting with the clients than the others in his position. A well fitting shirt and a tight pair of pants never failed to make things easier for him to charm pretty much everyone he was around. He’d briefly dated a couple of girls, wanting to experience the steamy ‘summer love’ of his old high school days. However, Guy was not about to settle down for anyone.
Mikey, meanwhile, had taken a job at a fast food restaurant back in his hometown; returning to campus that year looking like he hadn’t stopped eating the entire time. Quite a few of them had applied to stay in the dorms and been successful, but there was still plenty of fresh meat for Guy to enjoy about the place.
Guy remembered being quite taken aback when he saw the full stomach on Mikey after their time apart. It had morphed from a tight paunch to a full starter gut, complete with pointed and juicy-looking nipples. Had the boy seriously eaten nothing but fast food all summer? A simple rub of Mikey’s stomach or jiggle of his fleshy rear never failed to get the new chub horny, and Guy was all in for that. He thought back to the previous year and how forward he’d had to be with shy Mikey just to let him know that he was interested. Sex had not been a part of Mikey’s life before then, and now look at him: his entire body turned into a playhouse of his kinkiest sexual fantasies! Guy felt nothing but pride.
“You knew Mikey from last year, right?” asked Samantha, a clearly high-maintenance fresher girl who had moved in last week. “Maybe you can get through to him.”
“Why?” Guy asked, wondering what seemed to be so urgent.
“You need to let him know that we don’t want to see his belly hanging out anymore. He’s just bent down into the refrigerator and I had about four inches of his butt crack staring back at me!”
Guy laughed. “Is that all?” he sighed in relief. “I thought something was wrong.”
Samantha exhaled in shock. “Something is wrong!” she blasted. “He can’t be allowed to keep walking around in clothes that are that tight! It’s disgusting!”
“Leave him be,” Guy shrugged. “You don’t need to be around him if you don’t want to.”
“There are some guys who make fun of him on his course,” Samantha pressed on. “If he’d just wear a damn sweatshirt or something to try and make himself look like less of a target, I’m sure they’d leave him alone.”
At this, Guy stood up from his chair, suddenly filled with anger. “Who’s been making fun of him?” he demanded, ready to go and see to them, right there and then.
“Mikey is the one who needs speaking to!” Samantha shot back. “Go ask him who the guys are. Maybe you can talk some sense into him.”
Shaking his head with annoyance, Guy stormed down the corridor and let himself into Mikey’s room without even knocking. The boy was sitting at his desk, still pushing a large tray of cream cakes he had collected from the refrigerator when he had offended Samantha so much. He turned in surprise, seeing Guy bursting in on him like this.
“Who’s making fun of you on your course?” Guy asked, closing the door behind him.
Mikey smiled; his chubby cheeks and chin showing all the more. “Oh, you heard about that?” he chuckled. “A couple of the new freshmen: Dan and Alec.”
“You’ll need to point them out to me,” Guy demanded, clearly annoyed. “I’ll soon sort them out.”
Mikey’s face was one of pure amusement. “Not everything is a problem that needs fixing,” he simply replied, pushing a cream cake into his mouth.
“What is it they say to you?” Guy pressed on.
Mikey chewed and swallowed. “Oh, lots of things!” he giggled. “Fat Boy, Pig, Piggy, Lardass!”
Guy could feel his heart beating faster with frustration However, Mikey seemed entirely relaxed and happy. “Wait a minute…” Guy stopped him. “Is this one of those things..?” he pondered. “Are you… Do you get off on this? The guys treating you that way?”
Mikey raised his eyebrows cheekily, not needing to say anything further.
“That’s why your clothes are so tight this year, isn’t it? You actually want people to comment?” Guy asked next, feeling like he had delved further than ever before into the mind of his part-time lover.
Again, Mikey only pressed a cake into his mouth and smirked.
Guy felt all the pent-up frustration in him release. A great wave of affection for Mikey swept through him and he reached out a hand to pull the chubby boy up from his chair, leaning him back into his great arms like he was trying to seduce him all over again. “You’re the kinkiest little fucker I’ve ever come across,” he smiled with delight. “You know that right?”
Mikey swallowed and grinned back. “You started this,” he stated, rubbing his easily accessible belly fat as his overly short t-shirt rode up.
Guy looked down at the boy’s gut and nodded. “I sure did!” he teased. “And what a good piggy you’ve turned out to be!” he smirked, trying the word out now he knew a little more about how it excited Mikey.
The chub seemed to melt into him further. They kissed and then quickly undressed for the inevitable.
The Spring was upon them once again as Guy invited Mikey over to his room for a quiet evening together. Mikey always seemed more aroused to be in Guy’s room for whatever reason. Perhaps it was the knowledge that Guy had fucked and pleasured so many people between those sheets of his. The large athlete was sitting propped up against the headboard, romantically caressing Mikey as he leant against his naked chest and watched a movie with him.
Watching movies was not usually Guy’s thing. He’d often been accused of having an attention difficulty in school, making him restless and troublesome in class, despite the high grades he always came away with. But here, with Mikey, Guy felt complete relaxation, rubbing that fat stomach that had been grown for him and laughing together at the funny parts of the picture.
“There’s actually a gainer event happening not too far away in a couple of months,” Mikey explained, scrolling through his cell phone.
“When is it?” Guy asked. “I can take you.”
Mikey mumbled nervously. “I’m not so sure it’s my thing…” he fretted. “I’d be too nervous.”
At this, Guy laughed. “Nervous? You?” He rubbed Mikey’s large stomach. The boy was now a full one hundred and twenty pounds heavier than he had been when the pair met over eighteen months ago, standing at a full two hundred and sixty pounds despite his fairly average height. He’d battled name-calling, family disapproval and public wardrobe malfunctions aplenty. “You’re the bravest person I know.”
Again, Mikey grumbled in disagreement.
Guy quickly did an internet search on his cell phone and found it himself. “There!” he declared a minute later, putting his cell phone back on the bed beside him. “Two tickets. One for me, and one for my lardass!” he teased, kissing Mikey on the back of his head and squeezing him once more. “I’lll book us a nice hotel later too.” Picking up a few modelling jobs had definitely helped make Guy’s life a little easier of late, and there was no one who deserved a treat more.
As the date approached, Mikey had gone into a frenzy of calorie consuming, determined to look the part for a gainer event. The boy was just a frustrating couple of pounds shy of three hundred when Guy took his chubby little hand and led him inside.
Guy had never seen so many huge men in the same room and they eyed him suspiciously until they saw that his hand was placed appreciatively on Mikey’s broad butt as they stood to the side of the dancefloor.
“There are still quite a few small guys,” Guy whispered to Mikey, who had been worried about not being fat enough for weeks. “A few dad bods with only a little gut to show for themselves.”
Mikey nodded, feeling better and more relaxed as others started coming up to them, wanting to know their story.
“That person’s been checking you out all night,” Guy nodded over at a slender and handsome man in the corner.
“No he hasn’t,” Mikey shot back.
“Trust me, when people aren’t checking me out, I notice,” Guy replied. “He’s definitely interested in you.”
Mikey smiled, rather flattered.
“Who knows, he might be open to a little…” Guy winked, having learned recently that Mikey had a small fantasy about having a threesome. Guy waved his arm and beckoned the man over to them, despite Mikey’s nervous protests.
The admirer introduced himself as Henry and he admitted to having attended plenty of these types of events in the last few years. “What’s your weight?” he asked Mikey; an outrageous question in any other circumstances but these.
Guy jumped in to answer. “He’s just hit three-twenty,” he lied. He was only one hundred and forty pounds two years ago.”
“That’s impressive!” Henry nodded, clearly more interested than ever.
“He’s been a high achiever his whole life,” Guy smiled, wrapping his strong large arm over Mikey’s shoulders with pride.
Henry wanted to know more about their situation and circumstances. Were they an item? Was it casual? Was Guy really a feeder? But when the time came to ask him if he wanted to come back to the hotel with them, Henry did not decline. They stopped for takeout on the way, with Henry very clearly getting off on how much Mikey was able to eat: being so assertive with the chub, clearly setting high expectations from the start. Then they all headed back, making every pleasurable second all about Mikey; just as he deserved.
At the end of another summer, Guy and Mikey embarked upon their final year of college. Mikey’s weight had continued to creep up, with his face now properly framed by a large double chin and his upper arms finally starting to puff up and broaden him up a bit.
“I actually met up with Henry a couple of times this summer,” Mikey explained casually as the pair of them lay awkwardly facing each other on the narrow single bed in Guy’s room.
Guy instantly felt ashamed of the giant wave of jealousy that washed over him. He’d slept with a countless number of people during their casual sex games of the last two years, yet he begrudged Mikey even this little thing in return. Still, he tried not to show his feelings, diligently asking questions and smiling encouragingly, as if this was all positive news.
“Henry really knows how to push me to eat,” Mikey went on. “I’ve never eaten as much in my life! And it was all the type of stuff that he knew would only make me fatter.”
Guy nodded, concealing the inadequacy he felt. He’d never really been what Mikey had wanted. He only knew the absolute basics of the feedism kink Mikey was so into and had, for the most part, got away without having to sit through many of the tedious feeding sessions Mikey seemed to enjoy so much. This whole affair with Mikey had started because Guy hadn’t wanted anyone to take the champion blow-job boy away from him, yet he had unknowingly opened the floodgates during that fairly average threesome he had been a part of back at the gainer event. “Are you meeting up with him again?” he asked casually.
“He’s coming here in December,” Mikey squeaked excitedly. “But he’s given me strict instructions to continue to eat and grow before then. I honestly think he wants me to be absolutely huge!”
Guy smiled back at him, despite the sadness he felt. Mikey was undoubtedly slipping away from him.
That December, Guy had been away with the football team during the weekend of Henry’s visit. Even so, Mikey’s weight had continued to increase at an almost alarming rate, both before and after the feeder had called over. It had been spurred on by the many messages and video calls the pair had made, despite the great geographical distance between them. Guy had so many other things on his mind, he tried to convince himself that it didn’t bother him, but he was never fully successful. Mikey himself was now entirely unrecognisable, coated with giant amounts of fat all over his body. His frame had widened, with fat spilling out from his round gut and his nipples sagging right onto his swollen midsection. He walked slowly about the campus, usually carrying a backpack filled with fattening supplies from the nearby supermarket in order to further his weight gain. Likewise, Henry had begun ordering fast food to the dorms, increasing Mikey’s intake even more and ensuring that the boy had surpassed three hundred and eighty pounds by April.
Guy knew that he couldn’t get away with avoiding Henry a second time when he stopped by for an entire week that Spring, just before the final exam season got underway. The conversation was polite, but it was obvious that Henry wanted more time alone with Mikey, rather than having Guy tagging along.
“Let’s be real…” Henry stated at the end of the week, taking advantage of the fact that Mikey had gone to the bathroom at the restaurant he was treating the two of them to a meal at. “You’re not actually a feeder, are you?”
“What does that matter?” Guy shrugged. “I’ve done pretty well getting Mikey’s weight up. He would still be that skinny little twig if it wasn’t for me.”
Henry shook his head and laughed. “No he wouldn’t!” he replied dismissively. “Mikey is a fat boy, through and through! I’ve never come across anyone like him. If you hadn’t been there, he would have found some other excuse to start piling the pounds on. It’s just in him. He’s meant to be absolutely enormous.”
Guy didn’t have a response. In reality, he’d known as much from the very beginning. Mikey had never needed much encouragement to overeat, and he’d always seemed propelled to fatten by some force greater than a basic kinky subservience kink to Guy himself.
“I’m going to ask him to move with me to Phoenix when he finishes college next month,” Henry announced; his tone one of uncompromising assertiveness.
“Phoenix?” Guy gasped in alarm. “But I’ll never see him!”
“What the hell did you think he was going to do when he finished college? You’ve got a job lined up here in the city, but what is there for Mikey? He doesn’t have any family here. You really expected him to just hang around for you?”
Guy exhaled, knowing that they couldn’t carry the conversation on with the fattened Mikey trotting back towards the table. He ground his teeth together, wondering how best to fight this plan to uproot Mikey’s entire life and move him to Phoenix. But then he witnessed the boy’s delight the next day as Henry made the offer, and witnessed the tears days later as Henry had to leave him once more. It was over. Mikey had found the one he was really meant to be with.
“You’ll come and visit me, right?” Mikey asked as Guy dropped the last of Mikey’s stuff in the back of Henry’s truck a few weeks later.
“Of course I will,” Guy nodded, trying to hold back on how cut up he felt that his time with Mikey was now over. “Just you try and stop me!”
The pair hugged warmly.
Next, Henry came up and shook Guy’s hand. Despite the silent animosity between them, there was an air of respect. Henry had been right, after all. Mikey needed a lot more than Guy could give him. This was the life that the fat boy coveted and deserved. But Henry was no idiot either. He knew what Guy was giving up; that he had fallen in love with the boy, and that his love was not returned; at least, not in the same way.
“Come on, Fatso!” Henry smiled, patting Mikey on his wide, blubbery butt. “We’d best hit the road.”
Guy stood looking into the distance long after the truck went out of sight. One very massive chapter of his life had just ended, and another was about to begin.
#gainer fiction#gainer stories#gay feedee#gayfeeder#gainerstories#gainer story#gainerfic#gayfeedee#gainerstory#gainer fic
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The Proposal AU! (part one)
Summary: when your boss Agatha faces the threat of deportation, she convinces you to marry her in return for a promotion- and things only get more complicated with a trip to Salem, an eccentric tarot-card-reading aunt, and a homophobic mother to convince.
Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader
TW: deportation (which I admit I know very little about I'm not American lol) suggestive themes, sort of arranged marriage
W.C: 1.3k words
PARTS: TWO, THREE
Agatha Harkness was a terrible boss. In the five years you had been working as her assistant, you had her schedule memorised, you constantly tried to anticipate her needs, and yet, she could barely remember your name. And that wasn’t the only flaw, oh no. There was the erratic behaviour, her quickness to anger, the fact that she always teetering the line between serious and sarcastic, so you could never quite tell whether she meant what she had said. Which would be your excuse if she attempted to criticise your response time to her latest question.
It's just… there was no way she was being serious… Right?
“I’m sorry. Could you repeat that last part, please?” You asked slowly, steadily lowering the file in your hands to pay full attention to Agatha. She was sat at her desk, looking up at you as though you were an idiot. So, like usual.
“I hope you’re not expecting me to get down on one knee.” Agatha scoffed, and when you didn’t respond, quirked an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“I’m just having a hard time comprehending what you’re asking of me.” You spluttered out.
She exhaled, clearly irritated. Then leant forwards over the desk and demanded, “Marry me,” punctuating each word with the intensity of her glare.
Under her scrutiny, you could feel your cheeks flushing. She never usually paid this much attention to you unless she needed something, which was rare. But this was too far. It had to be some kind of test surely. Of what, you weren’t sure. Loyalty? Dedication? Insanity?
After a beat of silence, you finally remembered to respond. “You’re insane.” You folded your arms across your chest, still in disbelief that she would ever ask such a thing. You knew Agatha was unpredictable, dramatic, terrifying even, but never could you have imagined her saying such a thing on this unassuming Thursday afternoon. She never brought her personal life into work, and so why she would want to bring her work (aka you) into her home, her bed, well- it was a mystery.
Your cheeks grew redder at the image your mind conjured up. You and the boss, in bed, together.
The silence continued, and you summoned the resolve to look back at Agatha. She was staring up at you expectantly, and you realised that, despite your aghast reaction, she was still awaiting a response.
“No!” You exclaimed, mouth agape.
At this, her red lips stretched back into a malicious grin. “I wasn’t asking, dear.”
Something about her teasing smile and her mildly threatening words flustered you. “Well… you can’t make me.” You responded futilely. You knew she could. This was Agatha Harkness, after all. She could make anyone do anything.
And yet… “No, I can’t.” Agatha conceded with a simple shrug.
This caught you off guard. You frowned down at her, wondering if this was some form of reverse psychology.
“But what I can do is offer something in return.” Agatha winked, and if you weren’t flustered enough before, you certainly were now.
You took a moment to breathe. To calm the way your heart raced in your chest. You recognised the innuendo to her words, but knew the connotations likely lay in more entrepreneurial benefits. A promotion. A raise perhaps. The possibilities were endless, and all of them would help you to pay the rent. Now that, you couldn’t pass up on so easily.
“But why?” You asked, quieter, reluctant to admit to yourself that you were settling into the idea. “Why do you need to marry me?”
“Oh pfft,” Agatha waved a hand dismissively. “Not specifically you. This is nothing personal.”
“Oh great. That makes me feel so much better, thank you.” You snarked.
“Come on, you’re a clever girl.” Agatha narrowed her gaze, that teasing edge so easily returning to her tone. “You can figure it out.”
You paused to think, running through everything you knew about your boss. She lived alone, quite happily so, which ruled out any kind of breakdown. She was about ten years older than you, which meant this probably wasn’t a midlife crisis. But in terms of personal information, that was about all you knew. Agatha was a married to the job kind of woman, constantly in and out of meetings, often the last to leave the office. You had tried to outlast her one evening, but upon seeing the delivery guy arrive with enough food to survive the night, you had given up and headed home.
You pursed your lips thoughtfully, eyes briefly flickering about the office when an idea struck you.
“Earlier today…” You began, speaking cautiously slow. “You had a meeting scheduled with your immigration lawyer.”
“Atta girl.” Agatha leant back in her chair, seemingly satisfied with your answer.
“You’ve been putting off that meeting for weeks,” you continued.
“It didn’t seem important!”
“Well, I’m guessing your visa expired. And you panicked, because being deported would suck, so you lied and said you were engaged.”
“Bingo!” Agatha clapped her hands, as though this were some fun guessing game and not a huge life issue that would turn both your lives upside down. “Being deported would suck, as you so eloquently put it. I would lose my job, so god knows what would happen to you.” She pulled a face of mock concern, pointing a sharp finger in your direction. “And now all I need is some all-American idiot to get me that green card. Simple. Beneficial for us both, really.”
“No. Not simple. Not beneficial for us both.” You shook your head, wrapping your arms tightly around yourself. “For one, with you gone I might actually get a normal boss.”
“And where’s the fun in that?” She quipped. “Plus, me being gone would certainly halt your progression up the ranks- and where would you ever find a better recommendation than from your boss turned wife, huh toots?”
Agatha was talking with such rationality that it was giving you a migraine. You pinched the bridge of your nose in an attempt to soothe it. “Please take a moment to think about this. I mean is it even allowed? The whole employer, employee relationship?”
“Oh, stop with your worrying. I wasn’t the one who hired you.”
“And you really can’t think of anyone else to do this?” You implored, though you were afraid you already knew the answer.
“I admit I didn’t give it much thought, but what’s the problem? You’re not dating anyone, your family are abroad so they won’t get involved in any of it-”
“How do you know all this?” You interrupted, frowning. Clearly your prior assumption that she didn’t give you the time of day was incorrect.
“I’m observant.” She deadpanned. “So, it’s settled, we’ll get married, live apart for a year, then when the immigration office determines I’m not a threat to the country, we’ll get an uncontested divorce with two of the finest lawyers’ money can buy. Breeze it through the law courts and never speak of it again. You get your promotion; I don’t have my whole life uprooted.”
You hummed noncommittally, finding yourself at a loss for words.
“Great, I’m taking that as a yes!” Agatha stood up abruptly, striding past you to grab her coat. “Let’s hit the road!”
“What? Both of us?”
“Of course. You’re my besotted fiancée and we’ve got a immigration officer to chat with!” Agatha nudged open the office door, storming through the building without another word. You simply stood and watched her go, her long navy coat flapping behind her, swishing back and forth with every step. You momentarily entertained the thought that it was a cloak- that she was secretly an evil witch in disguise as your boss.
It was the only reasonable conclusion from what you had just been roped into.
Groaning, you reluctantly followed your soon-to-be wife, trying desperately to ignore the churning anxiety in the pit of your stomach.
NEXT PART
Notes: ok I need to fess up I don't have much of a plan for this fic and uni work is kicking my ass so my time is v limited. But I've always wanted to write something following the vague plot of The Proposal- the film this is based off in case you can't tell.... so, hope you enjoyed :)
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Can you turn two homophobic bullies into a gay couple that still had their muscles and not into twinks, they love to have sex with each other and others please
“Dude, you don’t think I’m being too unreasonable, right?” Seth questioned, while in the midst of his bicep curl, “I mean, you would’ve total done the same, right?”
“No dude, totally.” Nick replied, “Can’t risk that shit.”
Seth nodded, “She was a total bitch about it too.” He recalled the angry expression on his girlfriend’s face. How shocked she was when he told her he was ending it, “Can’t risk that shit. I can’t have a gay kid.”
When Seth discovered that his girlfriend’s brother was gay, he quickly broke things off. If being gay ran in her family, he couldn’t commit. No way in hell he’d be raising a gay son. As the proud son of a long-line of conservative, military men, Seth knew he had a duty to continue the family tradition. He was glad Nick could understand.
“Yeah, I hear ya.” Nick continued, “I couldn’t really imagine it either.” He ran a hand through his dark hair, “God, could you imagine having a gay kid?” He chuckled, “But she was hot though.”
“Yeah...” Seth mused, thinking of his now ex-girlfriend’s chest, “Alright, I’ll spot you.”
Seth stood at the head of the bench press and watched closely as Nick slowly raised and lowered the bar. He had to admit, Nick was getting good. It seemed like it was just yesterday when the two started going to the gym. He was always the stronger of the two, yet Nick was quickly catching up.
“Atta boy.” Seth encouraged.
The more he stared at Nick, the more he came to appreciate how much work his buddy must’ve been putting in. The way his biceps bulged and his triceps strained with each movement. Up, down, up, down. Seth shook his head.
“You okay, man?” Nick asked, sitting up.
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
They walked over to the bench and Seth grabbed his two dumbbells. Up, down, up, down. He always enjoyed the strain an incline bench press put on his muscles. But he could feel his arms shaking from the heavier weight.
“I got ya.” Nick reassured, supporting his buddy’s arms.
Seth blushed at the feeling of Nick’s calloused hands on his arms. The way his buddy gently applied pressure to help him complete his set. He looked up at Nick, who seemed a bit surprised by the look in his buddy’s eyes.
“Dude, you in love with me or somethin’?” Nick chuckled and Seth quickly broke eye contact.
“Fuck, don’t get too full of yourself.” He replied, dropping his weights.
Nick slapped his buddy on the back, which only made Seth shudder in pleasure. There was something about Nick’s touch. But he shook his head. What the fuck was he thinking?
“Gotta work tris.” Nick said, raising a dumbbell above his head, exposing his musky pits.
Seth could only stare. Up, down, up, down. But the smell of his bro’s musk was making his dick twitch. He wondered what it would be like to bury his nose in his bro’s hairy pit. Get right up close and personal with that musk. Seth’s eyes widened when he consciously realized what he just thought.
“Fuck, I need to go splash some water on my face.” He said, his voice trembling.
Before Nick could say anything, Seth quickly started walking towards the locker room, not realizing that his gait had changed somewhat. He sauntered- his ass sticking out just a bit more. And Nick certainly noticed. For whatever reason, he couldn’t look away. His buddy’s firm ass swaying with each step. And the young athlete wondered what it would be like to squeeze it. He shook his head and cursed under his breath, doing his best to focus on his workout.
When Seth arrived in the locker room, he walked over to the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. What the hell was he thinking? He never had a gay thought, right? I mean, he could appreciate a guy who goes to the gym. But that was all it was-appreciation. He splashed some water in his face and nearly jumped when he saw some of the other gym patrons. All shirtless or nude. Their musculature on full display. Their soft dicks. Seth could feel himself salivating. His body betraying his mind. His cock starting to stir in his pants.
“No, no, no.” Seth thought, shaking these thoughts from his brain.
And without another word, he fled. Running back to his apartment where he slammed the door and went to his bedroom. The young jock immediately pulling up some porn, desperate to prove to himself these thoughts were an aberration. But no matter how big the tits on screen or feminine the moans, his dick remained soft. Only when he focused on the guy did he feel any attraction.
“This...” Seth didn’t understand, “How...?” A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.
He sauntered over to his door, not even bothering to put on a shirt or pants. And when he opened it, he saw Nick standing there. A strange look in his eyes.
“Dude.” Nick breathed, “Where the fuck....?”
“Something’s wrong with me.” Seth huffed, beckoning his buddy inside, “I don’t...”
When the door closed and the two were alone, Seth noticed it for the first time. The look in Nick’s eye as he roamed his buddy’s nearly nude form. And Seth crossed his arms over his pecs, wanting to appear smaller. To disappear from view of his buddy’s lustful eyes.
“Nick... don’t...”
“It’s okay.” Nick reassured. Seth had heard this voice before. It was the one he used to pick up chicks at the bar. Breathy and seductive. Dripping with confidence. Seth shuddered, “Here, don’t worry.”
He approached Seth and wrapped his arms around his waist, giving his buddy’ juicy ass a firm squeeze. Seth whimpered, his cock starting to harden. He shuddered as Nick guided his hand under his shirt, allowing him to feel the firm, sweaty muscles he had seen only in the locker room. Seth’s mind wandered as he explored his buddy’s thick pecs. His fingers tracing firm abs. And then Nick guided him further, his hand moving below his waistline. Into his boxers. Around his friend’s erect manhood.
“No... this is...” Seth’s eyes widened as Nick’s lips crashed into his own. And slowly, he returned the same level of passion. His eyes closing, his hand stroking his friend’s cock.
It wouldn’t be long before the two were in the bedroom. Their hands greedily roaming each other’s muscular forms. Their tongues exploring each other’s mouths. And as Seth kissed his buddy’s abs and made his way down, he could hear a voice begging him to stop. Crying that he wasn’t gay. That he wasn’t just some cock sucker. But it became muffled as he began deep-throating Nick’s member. The voice drowned out by the sound of his friend’s pleasure-filled moans.
“Don’t worry,” Seth thought, reassuring the whimpering voice in his head, “You’re not just a cock sucker.” He looked up at his friend and grinned.
Nick smirked, “Ever try bottoming?” He asked.
The voice in Seth’s head screamed for him to stop. But Seth’s grin only widened. His muscular ass aching with need for it to be filled.
“There’s a first time for everything.”
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Vivziepop is still Transphobic 10 years later!
(I'm writing this as a trans non-binary person btw)
Basically: "Transmen are only depressed females who are ashamed of being women" In other screenshots, she has another pfp, which people already knew she had a Blitz pfp, people thought it was fake cause of the moe pfp. But right here there was proved it was her. Dates match up and all. This is all in 2023!
This is directly from Ken btw, who they were friends with- and worked on Hazbin. Also wrote a most of the fucking pilot and got ""additional writing" credits... plus the Cherry bomb thing too!
"I honestly believe it's incredibly rare, VALID as hell, but rare"
Based on this few messages alone, you should realize her ""acceptance"" of trans-people is selective as fuck. She also NEEDED to state the trans people are rare, so bad here too. I as a trans person, I have always considered this a BIG red flag! Because people who say that are ready to invalidate others on the idea of "trans people are rare, you must not be trans because you don't fit my standard!"
Here she is using She/Her on Ken who uses only They/Them. She already knew Ken as a friend, so the misgendering here is just rotten.
All of this is recent as fuck! Since Hazbin was getting made until 2023! This one below, of Salem, shows xe experienced the same thing during the start of Helluva Boss. (Below there is a link to a threat talking about Viv being terrible to xem!)
Here also seems to be another trans character, from millie's siblings! Designed to be transmasc?
Oh fuck me, never mind! They changed his design to be a cis male imp.
I have already talked about how I personally feel about how Sallie may is treated! Viv treats all trans characters and people terrible, and she has something against transmasc people specially. -And for someone so selectively transphobic, with all of her comments-she is transphobic against Non-binary people! I mean, she already didn't respect the usage of them/they pronouns, so... She can not go around saying this shit of telling queer stories and people who critique me are being homophobic WHEN SHE IS LIKE THIS.
This is older, too! Viv has being transphobic back then and still is! Drawing a caricature of a transman you don't like -like this!?
This is a meme video that Vivziepop did too. This is rotten. People sure can change, but this woman has being transphobic over 10 years, like... I don't know how old is this character but- you can search fan art of this character since 2015...
Again please read:
#vivziepop critical#helluva boss critique#helluva boss criticism#vivziepop critique#helluva boss critical#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critique#transphobes
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𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚍 - 𝙰𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚆𝙵𝙲 𝚡 𝚃𝚎𝚎𝚗!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
Description: reader's parents kicked her out and she is struggling. The team is always there for her.
awfc x teen!reader Kim Little x teen!reader
*Homophobic parents, self worth issues, angst with a happy ending
Kim was the first to notice. Kim is always the first to notice if something is wrong, especially when it is something to do with her protégé.
The sun was barely peeking over the horizon when Y/n trudged onto the football field, her heart heavy with the weight of the previous night's events. Her parents' harsh words still echoed in her mind, each syllable a reminder of the home she no longer had. The field, usually a place of solace and escape, felt foreign and unwelcoming today. She tried to shake off the feeling, but it clung to her like a second skin.
As the team gathered for their morning warm-up, Y/n forced a smile, hoping it would mask the turmoil inside. Her teammates chatted animatedly, their laughter ringing out in the crisp morning air. Y/n moved through her stretches mechanically, her mind elsewhere. She was grateful for the routine, something familiar to hold onto amidst the chaos.
Jonas blew the whistle, signaling the start of a new drill. This one involved quick footwork and passing accuracy, requiring each player to move swiftly between cones while maintaining control of the ball. Y/n took her position, determined to push through the haze of her thoughts. She moved with the group, her feet dancing around the cones, but her usual grace was missing. The ball slipped away from her, rolling out of bounds.
"Come on, Y/n! Keep your head in the game!" Jonas called out, his voice carrying across the field.
Y/n nodded, forcing herself to concentrate. She retrieved the ball, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. As she resumed the drill, she caught sight of Viv and Beth, her teammates and a couple, working together seamlessly. Their movements were in sync, a testament to their understanding of each other both on and off the field. Y/n felt a pang of envy mixed with admiration. The ease with which they expressed their love was something she had always longed for, yet it was the very thing that had driven a wedge between her and her family.
Nearby, Katie and Caitlin, another couple on the team, were laughing as they practiced passing the ball back and forth. Their joy was infectious, and Y/n couldn't help but smile despite herself. Yet, the sight also served as a stark reminder of her own situation. While her teammates were embraced for who they were, she had been shunned by her own family for loving women. The injustice of it all gnawed at her, threatening to overwhelm her composure.
Jonas called for a water break, and Y/n gratefully took the opportunity to catch her breath. She sat on the grass, sipping from her water bottle, trying to steady her racing heart. Kyra and Vic had both attempted to talk to the girl only to be met with annoyed mumbles and blank stares. Teyah got the same treatment when she tried.
Kim watched on with a frown on her face, Jen coming to check on what she was so worried about.
"Just look at her, it like every bit of light has been sucked out of her. I can't bear it." Kim sighed as she watched you zone out, kicking at the ground aimlessly.
"You know her better than anyone Kimmy, go talk to her after practice." Jen encourages before they are all called back onto the pitch.
Training didn't get any better for the remainder of the day. Poor passes, sloppy in possession and way off target when shooting. It just wasn't good enough and Y/n knew that. The words of her parents from the previous night going through her head with every failed attempt on goal, every time she lost possession by making a silly mistake.
All the girls saw it, they noticed how sloppy her play had become. A stark contrast to her normal 110% effort every time she trained. It worried them all. They all made an effort to try and boost her up with pats on the back and words of encouragement but they were met with silence and no improvement.
Training ended as the afternoon air came in. The girl made their way off the pitch and back into the locker room. Y/n lingered back as she watched them all converse. Beth & Viv walked hand in hand into the locker room in front of y/n. This made her chest pang, it was jealousy, it was longing, it was sadness.
All the girls chatted as they got changed and packed up their stuff whilst y/n sat in her cubby trying her best not to cry. She was approached by Leah who knelt down to her height in her cubby.
"You alright chick?" The blonde asked, her brows furrowed in worry.
Y/n looked up at Leah, putting a small smile on. "I'm alright, I slept really rough last night thats all, I'm sorry for not being at by best today Lee."
"Don't apologise y/n, we all have off days. Try and get some sleep so we can get our happy girl back yeah?" Leah patted the girls shoulder as she stood up to go home.
With Leah gone, y/n looked around the locker room spotting no one there, she let her guard down and broke. Tears streamed down her face as she replayed the harsh words of the night before. Her parents' anger and disappointment had cut deep, leaving her feeling raw and exposed. She hugged her knees to her chest, seeking comfort in the small, enclosed space she had created for herself.
What y/n didn't know was Kim hung around to talk to Jonas about something and had just reentered the change rooms as y/n was crying. Kim quickly made her way over to the small girl, wrapping her arms around her, pulling her close.
"Y/n?" Kim's voice was gentle, filled with concern. "What's going on sweetheart?"
Y/n quickly sat up, wiping the tears away from her eyes. "I'm fine, just tired." She tried so reason as her voice cracked and tears continued to well in her eyes.
Kim shook her head, squeezing her a little tighter. "You don't have to pretend with me. I can tell something's wrong. Do you want to talk about it?"
Y/n hesitated, the words lodged in her throat. But the kindness in Kim's eyes coaxed them out. "My parents... they kicked me out last night. I finally worked up the courage to come out. They don't love me anymore Kim." The last sentence broke her as she cried again.
Kim's heart ached at the vulnerability in Y/n's voice. She reached out, placing a reassuring hand on Y/n's back. "I'm so sorry, Y/n. That must be incredibly painful."
Y/n nodded, her tears flowing freely now. "I just don't understand why they can't accept me. Seeing everyone else so happy and accepted... it just makes it hurt more."
Kim nodded, understanding the depth of Y/n's pain. "You deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are. And you are, Y/n. By all of us."
Y/n looked up, her eyes searching Kim's face for reassurance. "But where do I go now? I don't have anywhere else, I'm 17 I just want my parents."
Kim's expression softened further, her resolve clear. "You can stay with me, as long as you need. You're not alone. The team loves you and I love you. You are so incredibly brave and strong."
The offer hung in the air, a lifeline extended in Y/n's darkest moment. Gratitude surged through her, mingling with the sadness. "Thank you, Kim. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Kim smiled, her own eyes misty with emotion. "We're a team, Y/n. We look out for each other. Arsenal is a family. You're part of our family."
Y/n leaned into Kim's side, drawing comfort from the warmth and solidarity. The locker room, once a place of routine, had become a sanctuary—a space where she could be herself without fear of judgment.
"You're so strong, Y/n," Kim continued, her voice steady. "And we'll get through this together. You've got a whole team behind you, ready to support you every step of the way."
#arsenal#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#woso x reader#woso one shot#woso fanfics#woso#kim little#jen beattie#leah williamson#kyra cooney cross#arsenal wfc x reader
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙ur good for my heart | DR3˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: daniel ricciardo x faceless y/n reader (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: like 1 single sexual joke lol it's all jus fluff some mean tweets perhaps sorryy hope u like it
summary: in which f1's favourite couple has news to spite their doubters
a/n: making these is the most fun i've had in my whole life who else should i write for tehe
fc: various brunette girls from pinterest
song
my masterlist
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 77,978 others
yourusername jus checking in yes me & ricardo are alive
tagged: yourbff
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user1 y/n having a hamster called ricardo is my roman empire
user2 no daniel?
user3 ikr & max is always in her likes it's weird
user4 they r obviously friends?
landonorris wtf is that
yourusername i know ur not talking about my gay hamster
landonorris get a life
yourusername homophobe
yourbff next time i drown u
landonorris y/n taking L after L in this comment section
yourusername i literally dont like either of u
yourbff
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yourbff no one is doing it like us happy birthday to the love of my life y/n/n
tagged: yourusername
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landonorris haps baps yourusername
yourusername thank u babygirl
yourusername i love u so much omg
yourusername im jus a shell without u😭
yourbff i will always love u till my dying days & beyond xo
user5 has anyone else noticed y/n hasnt been seen with daniel lately
yourbff why the hell u saying this shit on my post get a job
liked by yourusername
whatsapp ->
twitter ->
instagram ->
danielricciardo
liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 203,574 others
danielricciardo happy birthday to the love of my life
tagged: yourusername
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user10 i knew they were still together
yourusername waiting for a hamster joke tbh
landonorris the gag is this post is not about u it's about ricardo
yourusername well i am not surprised if i was a gay hamster i too would want danny
danielricciardo do u want me even tho ur a regular girl?
landonorris no she doesnt
maxverstappen1 she does not
yourusername didnt want u to find out this way
yourusername tysm i love u forever & a day
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user11 she is so annoying
comment deleted by danielricciardo
twitter ->
whatsapp ->
instagram ->
danielynlover
liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 3,023 others
danielynlover some of our favourite dan & y/n moments to remind everyone why they have been & will continue to be everyone's favourite f1 couple 🫶
tagged: danielricciardo, yourusername
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user17 omg my actual parents
user18 i love how y/n always supports & shows up for danny no matter what team he's on
liked by yourusername
danielynlover exactly she is the most genuine wag imo
yourusername 😭🩷
danielynlover OMG HI Y/N
yourusername forever grateful for all of ur love for me & dan
user19 daniel ricciardo y/n y/l/n you will always be famous
whatsapp ->
instagram ->
danielricciardo
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 547,372 others
danielricciardo baby on board
tagged: yourusername
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landonorris couldn't even think of a joke for this one congratulations to my favourite couple
yourusername only took us getting pregnant to be freed from the horrendous jokes of lando norizz
landonorris i'll be back on form when i've had times to process the news
danielricciardo i told u 2 months ago
landonorris yes and?
maxverstappen1 congratulations 🎂
liked by danielricciardo and yourusername
yourbff i've never screamed so loud. im going to be an auntie
yourusername my baby is so lucky 🥹
user20 IS THIS REAL
user21 omg my parents are becoming parents
yourusername
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yourusername bun in the oven
tagged: danielricciardo
danielricciardo of course you snuck that hamster into your pregnancy announcement
yourusername he is nothing if not a stickler for a party
yourbff i love u
liked by yourusername
user22 the girls are gonna love this one
user23 running straight to twitter
lewishamilton congratulations ❤️
yourusername tysm uncle lewis 😛
yoursister y/n mama hasnt stopped crying since u told her 🥹🥹🥹
yourusername sending all our love to u all 👨👩👧
twitter ->
time skip: many months later
instagram ->
yourusername
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yourusername she's here 🥹 grace evelyn ricciardo born at 6am 7lb 2oz with her father's eyes
tagged: danielricciardo
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yourbff i cannot wait to meet her🥹
yourusername 🥹🥹🥹
landonorris noo hahaaa im not crying... you are..
danielricciardo embrace it
maxverstappen1 when can we get her behind the wheel
yourusername what the hell is wrong with u
landonorris this is too far even for you
danielricciardo stay away from my daughter
danielricciardo and my wife whilst ur at it
user24 WIFE???
user25 WIFE?? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN
danielricciardo i love you i am so proud of you i am so lucky to have met you and to be loved by you my wife 💍
yourusername i love you u r my entire universe 😊
user26 who else will never recover from this
liked by yourusername
THE END 🤍
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#daniel ricciardo#lando norris#max verstappen#f1 smau#smau#f1 2023#f1edit#fanfic#maddie's smau
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pairing: past wanda maximoff x fem!reader / present natasha romanoff x fem!reader
summary: When you see Wanda again after the secret relationship you shared during your college years, you realize the lasting impact she had on you. Haunted by flashbacks of your time together, you struggle to reconcile the memory of the Wanda you once knew with the woman she has become a decade later.
content warnings: angst, homophobia, a few homophobic slurs, internalized homophobia, heartbreak and grief, some smut, tragedy
word count: 7.1k+
Masterlist
A/N: This is heavily inspired by the song Us. By Gracie Abrams ft. Taylor Swift. I would recommend listening to it simply because it is a masterpiece and the foundation of this fic.
comments and reblogs are always appreciated! happy reading ♡
The Secret of Us
“Babe, are you ready?”
Green eyes peek around the doorframe, delicate fingers working a dangling diamond studded earring through a slightly reddened ear. There’s a gentle smile on Natasha’s face, a strand escaping her perfectly curled hair and falling somewhat in front of her face. It brushes softly against her cheek, a sharp exhale moving it as a wince appears on her face.
“Here, let me,” you say, curling a single finger in her direction. You place your makeup brushes onto the vanity in front of you, your fingers gentle as you pluck the earring from Natasha’s hand.
It’s a beautiful piece. The golden metal is dainty, yet solid, woven into complex swirls that catch the dying rays of sunshine streaming in from your window. Your hands are careful, threading the earring through her skin like a seamstress, with confidence that comes from years of practice and love woven into each measured touch.
“Perfect,” you mutter. You both know you’re not just talking about the earring.
Natasha smirks at you, full of confidence that is only slightly contrasted by the pink flush rising to her cheeks. You laugh slightly, the sound low and full of warmth as you turn back towards the mirror.
Strong hands rest lightly on your shoulders as Natasha’s fingers firmly rub circles into your skin. You can feel the tight knots give away beneath her ministrations and sigh in relief as you brush highlighter onto the highest point of your cheekbones. Green eyes track your movements lazily, taking you in like it's the first time she’s seeing you. You find it quite romantic and tell her just as much.
“Well,” the bright smile on Natasha’s face shines through the word, “That was my goal, detka.”
A soft shove from you has Natasha’s hands wrapping around your own as she pulls you to your feet. You sway slightly, blinking against the headrush that comes from changing positions too quickly. Arms wrap around your waist as strong as the pull of gravity, unwavering and inevitable.
“You look beautiful,” Natasha murmurs, her lips brushing yours.
“Compared to you, I am nothing.” The words flow from your lips easily, the truth of them lying comfortably under your skin, feeling like the steady weight of a cat curled up on your chest. You kiss away any protests, your tongue swiping against hers when she tries to speak.
“We should go,” Natasha manages to say, the words separated with the firm kisses she places against your lips. “We’re about to run late, and I know you hate it when people are inconsiderate with their timing.”
You nod against her, your hands squeezing her waist gently as you breathe deeply through your nose, unwilling to part your lips from hers.
“Sweetheart.”
Natasha’s tone is firm, her hand pressed against your sternum as she pushes you away. It's gentle, almost hesitant. You know that if you pressed back against it, she would crumble like a sandcastle at high tide. It's for that very reason that you don’t, not wanting to disrupt her carefully planned evening.
“Lead the way, my love.”
—
You find yourself hanging from Natasha’s arm, feeling every bit like a trophy. Shining, and put on the highest shelf, gazes sliding appreciatively over you before moving on to the next impressive thing. You wonder how long it will be before the dust begins to collect.
A man, standing close to your wife. His fingers twitch, his eyes glancing dismissively at you. He’s talking just a bit too loud for the short distance between him and Natasha, and you feel a white-hot rage rising before you take in the fake smile plastered across her face.
It's too wide, showing too many teeth and yet not enough at the same time. Her eyes are sharp, the soft crow’s feet that normally appear at the edges nowhere to be found. The pressure of her fingers against your waist grounds you, leaving you feeling every bit like a rock standing solidly against the crashing waves.
The man moves on, loses interest. You don’t mind. The memory of him is already floating away, being replaced by the soft look Natasha is sending your way. You feel shiny again, not a speck of dust in sight.
Dragging your eyes around the room, you let yourself get lost in the sea of bodies.
Natasha had brought you to some important work event. It was essentially a party, disguised under layers of professionalism in celebration of a multi-million dollar partnership with their rival company.
There was an undercurrent of tension, being slowly filtered into a sort of understanding and grudging respect. The alcohol probably helped.
A woman’s laughter rang around the room. The tension in the air shuddered and released its hold slightly.
You amend your statement. The alcohol definitely helped.
Lazily, you return your gaze to the room. Natasha is slowly walking you towards the center of the room, leading you with gentle touches at your waist. You feel every bit like a lamb, awkward with growing limbs as it is shepherded into a crowd.
Bouncing around the room, your eyes take in the multitude of people. Features start to blur together. A pointed nose, blue eyes almost hidden under thick eyeliner, shimmering dresses that catch the light and make your head spin.
Your eyes catch on brunette hair. Soft, flowing like a calm river on a warm summer's day.
Startling slightly, you blink, a memory dredging its way to the front of your brain like molten lava, slow and inevitable.
Brunette hair, falling effortlessly over strong shoulders. The scent of vanilla washing over you and enveloping you like a well-known embrace. Green eyes sparkling down at you as soft lips move. You focus, dragging your eyes away from the perfectly manicured nails softly brushing against your desk.
“Mind if I sit here?”
A feeble shake of your head, and rapid blinking as you attempt to return the moisture lost to wide-eyed staring back into your eyes.
She’s beautiful.
Her words are kind, a small smile seemingly locked into place on her lips as she regards you. Green eyes roam your face, lingering around your lips for just a second too long.
“I’m Wanda.”
The memory slams into your skull, reverberating painfully around as you feel an age-old, nearly forgotten crack in your heart reopen. It takes your breath away, the weight in your chest feeling like a paperweight, settling down on the last few pages of a story full of loss and anguish.
Natasha’s speaking to someone, her raspy voice filtering through your ears. It’s nothing like the cadence of melted butter you still sometimes hear in your dreams. It's different, better. You wonder when the lies will morph into a semblance of truth.
You take a deep breath, letting those thoughts slide back to where they belong. In the back of your mind, locked away and left to be forgotten. It wouldn’t do you any good to dwell on the past, with its looming, crumbling chess pieces that dance around you in a game that you don’t quite understand the rules of.
“Ah, fuck.” Comes Natasha’s voice, the words mumbled directly in your ear.
You twist your head, shaking it free of cobwebs sticky with memory as you take in your wife. Her eyes are locked on something across the room, the faint furrow of her brows the only sign of displeasure etched on her face. Her lips are moving, mumbling something about an important blah blah man blah blah, rich and influential at her rival company blah blah…
Smiling slightly, you hide your amusement with practiced ease as you turn your gaze towards the man, no, a couple heading your way. Your eyes barely register the neatly parted blonde hair of a tall man, his eyes locked on Natasha with a calculating sort of look in them before your eyes slide over to the woman on his arm.
Fuck, indeed.
Your heartbeat rushes through your ears, a dull ringing cascading through them as you feel your breath catch. Everything has gone numb, or cold, or tingly. You’re not really sure. Everything is too much and the room is too hot even as goosebumps rise on the surface of your exposed flesh. You suddenly see yourself in a third-person view, your mind projecting outside your body as you go rigid at the sight of her.
Wanda Maximoff.
Green eyes, brighter and lighter than the ones you stared lovingly into at the altar. Her gaze flickers over to you, not fully meeting your eyes, a forced sort of dissonance playing out briefly on those perfect features before she focuses on Natasha.
Another memory slams into you, rising unbidden from the depths of your mind before you can stop it.
Soft laughter, echoing around the room before it's absorbed by the four walls surrounding you. Green eyes, smiling at you before returning their focus to the pen and paper in front of her.
Wanda writes something down, your eyes tracing the elegant script that flowed easily from her fingertips. Something scratches at the back of your mind, a tendril of something fond, warm. It feels like coming home, future impressions of familiarity beginning to take root.
“Let me see,” you’re saying, moving closer. Your hands reach for the book. No, it's a leather-bound journal. You’d picked them out earlier, after walking to the store with Wanda from your English literature class.
“No, oh my god,” Wanda was saying, giggles erupting from her as she half-heartedly wrestled the journal away from you. Her hand lands on your knee, her cheeks a little too flushed. It reminds you of the cherry she’d eaten earlier, licking the whipped cream from her milkshake off before smiling and sucking the fruit into her mouth.
Her hand stills, awkward and stiff for a moment. You don’t comment on it, shifting your body weight to be slightly closer to her. The warmth from her palm spreads through your body like a slow creek, new and small and promising bigger currents down the road.
“Let me read yours out loud and I’ll let you read mine,” you offer, taking her journal gently and placing yours in her lap.
“It’s just poetry,” the words flow from your lips, but you know it’s more than that. It’s the very contents of your soul, laid bare for her to see, wrapped under layers of grammar and careful wording. It’s a confession, it’s a sin, it’s something twisting and beautiful and as graceless as a newborn foal. Her eyes meet yours, your thoughts reflected back at you as her fingers twitch slightly on your knee.
Wanda’s hand takes your journal, those green eyes skimming the words as her lips move silently.
You don’t look away, you can’t look away. Her hair is falling over her shoulder, as delicate and soft as the words written before you. There’s a palpable tension in the air, low and thumping like a familiar heartbeat.
Green eyes, flickering back to you. Something behind them that you can’t interpret. You feel like she can see your every thought, the very contents of your being laid out before her as she analyzes each individual piece. It’s frightening and it’s intoxicating, and you look away.
You’re reading her words now, the sentences flowing and mashing together in your mind as you pluck the strings of her mind with your careful hands. It’s beautiful and well-written, layered with so many truths and lies that you can’t begin to interpret the true meaning of her sentences.
Something tingles at the base of your skull, warm and light as it blossoms through your head. Understanding. Or, the semblance of it.
You look up. Light green eyes stare back into yours. They’re captivating, and you wonder if they ever left. If she watched you the same way you did her, attempting to unravel her very being through carefully constructed lines and flowing script and words layered with meaning.
Those green eyes have the power to shatter you. You pick up your pen.
“So what is it that you do?” The man is speaking.
Your mind crashes back into the present, another hairline fracture appearing on the surface of your heart. You can practically feel it, the torment running deeper than the illusion the thin crack offers. It’s bone-aching, and you suddenly feel exhausted.
“I’m a copywriter,” Natasha answers, sounding casual. You can sense the clipped tone and undercurrent of frustration, and your hand gently traces circles against her wrist. “I graduated with a degree in English Literature.”
“Ah,” the man says, sounding every bit as pretentious as he looks. “My wife got a degree in that as well.”
Another crack, splintering into you. Your eyes flick down, catching the ring on Wanda’s finger. It’s shining and big, the diamonds glittering back at you, the mockery of it seeping into your soul. The meaning of it is every bit as surface level as what you assume Wanda’s feelings for this man are. You know better, she had told you just as much.
“I don’t think I’ll ever love a man in the way I’m meant to.”
You don’t have to ask what she means. You don’t respond, a gentle sigh escaping you as the weight of her head rests solidly on your shoulder. The clock on your nightstand blinks back at you, the numbers twinkling in the early morning. Pens and paper and journals are strewn around you, a poetry book facedown in your lap. Your voice had grown too tired from reading, but neither of you seemed to mind the comfortable silence stretching around the room.
Until now.
“I know,” you say. There are not many words you can speak.
It's simple. That’s a lie. It’s not, it’s complicated and it's painful and there’s nothing you can do to take that away from her. You wish you could. You would do anything to let Wanda’s soul have respite in your presence, to be unburdened from thoughts of sin and duty, to be able to finally breathe properly.
Soft fingers find your hand, tangling with your fingers almost hesitantly. Your palm slides easily against hers, and you swallow the lump in your throat. Your hands fit like a jigsaw puzzle, feeling like the final piece as it clicks into place. Confusion and frustration sliding away as the picture finally makes sense.
“Poetry feels like prayer.” Wanda’s voice is quiet, and you know what she means. It feels holy, even with the words only spoken in the sublunary space of your dorm room. Her head twists on your shoulder, and you feel your gaze drawn to her like the inevitable magnetic pull of the earth. Her green eyes peer up at you. “Will you pray with me?”
Picking up the poetry book in your lap, you begin reading. Your thumb runs over the pages. Staring at the words in front of you, you wonder why they’re blurry. You realize later, after Wanda had fallen asleep from being lulled into comfort by your voice, that it had been unshed tears.
You let them fall.
“Yes,” Wanda is saying, and her voice is exactly the same as you’d remembered. She’s speaking, saying something about the university she’d attended and how she got her degree. The only thing you can focus on is the familiar lilt of her words, the smooth cadence you’ve memorized and seared into your brain.
It’s painful, but you can’t take your eyes off of her. Natasha’s hand moves slightly against your waist, and you blink. The man next to Wanda has his arms almost possessively around her shoulders, his hawkish eyes watching you.
You look away.
“Oh, you and my wife went to the same University,” Natasha says, trying to be helpful. You don’t appreciate it. Her words are genuine, but the statement falls short, a beat of awkward silence stretching into an eternity as you try to respond. What could you even say?
Yes. We did. I fell in love with the confident, full-of-life brunette who looked at me like I hung the moon, and I looked at her like she painted the stars just to give the moon some company. I loved her as easy as breathing, and now my lungs never feel full enough, my breaths labored and weighted with the words of love I breathed into her ear that I can’t take back, won’t take back.
Refuse to take back.
“We must have missed each other,” Wanda says, her eyes flashing in your direction, but not fully meeting yours. “It’s a big school.”
A polite smile plasters itself onto your face, too small and stiff to be sincere. Your heart clenches painfully, a small part of your mind begging Wanda to meet your eyes. God, it feels just like when you were at University.
Her husband’s fingers tighten slightly around her shoulder, pulling her further into his side. You wonder if Wanda feels like she’s suffocating yet. You hope not, you want her to breathe. To fill her lungs with light and hope and passion and… not whatever this is.
Another memory, sludging through your mind like a heavy foot through quicksand.
You don’t talk to Wanda much outside of class and the late-night poetry readings in your dorm. She blames it on her busy social life, being in a sorority is apparently no joke. You’ve learned to keep your head down when you see her in public, her eyes always lingering near you, but never fully meeting yours, too focused on the sorority sisters that always seem to surround her. Appearances are everything to her, you know that.
But god, it hurts.
It still doesn’t cut quite as deep as the weekend her parents came to visit.
Wanda had grown up the daughter of a pastor, a well-spoken man with a quiet, hidden-in-the-shadows wife. You’d watched from afar, noticing the small glances her mother would send her way, and the nervous twitching of her fingers as she adjusted Wanda's collar, or brushed a piece of invisible lint from her daughter's skirt.
Per usual, Wanda was nothing short of perfect. Her hair was perfectly curled, laying gently over her shoulders as the brunette strands glowed in the sunlight. She’d done her makeup just subtle enough to perfect her already dainty features, but not enough to rouse suspicion that she was promiscuous.
You’d watched her do her makeup many times, her hands perfecting the art. You wondered how much of her father’s influence and mother’s worry controlled the easy flick of her brush as it spread a light blush across her cheeks.
Tracing your gaze down her form, you glance back to the book in front of you. A poem glared up at you, the words swimming off the page as you remember the subtle curve of Wanda’s spine, her head bowed slightly as her father spoke into her ear.
Wanda was full of life, shining brightly and standing out amongst the rest of the population at this university. Or perhaps that was simply your own observation, after all, your entire waking moments were consumed by thoughts of her.
The point is, she wasn’t… docile. Or submissive, or meek like her posture suggests when her father lays a hand on her shoulder. You can’t tell if he’s gripping his fingers tightly or gently around her, but either way, Wanda doesn’t make a move to remove his hand.
She’s nodding, her head turning towards him. You can see her smiling easily at him, saying something back.
His hand returns to his side, and you hope that you imagine the slope of her mother’s shoulders relaxing. The way her fingers twitch towards her daughter, wanting to replace the feeling of his hand against her skin, but choosing to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear instead. Always deflecting her true intentions.
Wanda’s face turns towards her mother. You see the momentary look that passes between them, but you’re unable to interpret it from across the quad. The moment passes, and her mother returns her attention back to her husband. Always a faithful, obedient wife.
When Wanda and her parents pass by the table you’re seated at, she doesn’t spare you a second glance. Her green eyes are focused on some unimportant thing in the distance, her father’s lips moving near her ear again. You silently plead with her to look your way, to take solace in the silent comfort you can provide.
Her green eyes don’t meet yours. You feel a crack appear on your heart, and you swallow harshly as you stare blankly at the poetry in front of you. Shoving the crack down where you’ve displaced all the other ones, you begin to read.
The poem is a romantic one. Full of yearning and hope and unbridled passion. The only thing you can think about is how incredibly tragic it seems.
Natasha’s thumb is slowly moving, caressing your hip as she holds you loosely by her side. Not possessive, but not without care either. You’re grateful for the touch, and focus on it as Wanda’s husband continues to talk about… what is he talking about?
You don’t really care.
The version of Wanda that you knew and the woman you see in front of you clash in your mind, splintering your thoughts. You’re also aware of your wife beside you, and guilt creeps into your heart.
You chose Natasha. You’re happy with her, you stood across from her and declared your love and promised her that you would love her until the end of time. You intend to stand by that, to uphold your promise. Imagining a future without her seems impossible.
But you’d also imagined a future with Wanda once. It didn’t seem right to just ignore that. And it was impossible to keep the memories at bay. Not when she was standing before you for the first time in ten fucking years, with her perfect hair and her natural looking makeup and her light green eyes and the scent of vanilla washing over you and and and-
Breathing in, feeling the comforting scent of vanilla enveloping you in the strong embrace of a familiar lover. Wanda’s hair just beneath your nose, the silky strands brushing against your cheek and chin as you place a gentle kiss on her head.
Her arms are wrapped around you, her breaths even. You aren’t asleep, but you let her think that you are. It's easier for her to be herself when she thinks nobody is watching. Her fingers slowly dance along the exposed skin of your stomach, softly tracing nonsensical patterns against you as you feel your heart pound steadily.
A poetry book rests at your side, forgotten in the favor of holding her in your arms. You understand what all the poets mean, with their suffering and their longing written painstakingly on pages of crinkled paper beneath their ink-stained hands, as you hold Wanda gently against you. This moment feels too precious, too raw to ever be put into words, to write down for the world to see.
No, you’d much rather keep this moment pure and untouched, resting in your heart alongside the inevitability of Wanda Maximoff.
You can feel her in your soul. Or rather, maybe it’s your soul that’s bleeding and filling the space between you two. You hope that it is mixing with Wanda’s, filling the painful parts of her that she pushes down and cushioning them with warmth. Is it too much to hope that she’ll carry a part of you with her forever? Is it selfish to take the willing parts of her soul that bleed into yours and keep them there until they’re so ingrained in the fiber of your being that you would lose yourself if she took it back?
Maybe that's the true definition of love.
Natasha's hand grips you tightly, her fingers tense around your hip. Her eyes are locked on Wanda’s husband, his drawling voice grating your nerves. You risk a glance at Wanda, recognizing her blank look at the ground for what it is. Escape.
She used to tell you about the places she’d go inside her mind when life got to be too much for her. It sounded peaceful. She could be whoever she wanted inside her own head, without the pressure of her father or the quiet concern of her mother and the encompassing guilt that she was never making the right choices. You hope she's there right now, and return your gaze towards her husband.
“I mean,” Her husband's eyes are sharp, glinting dangerously at your wife. “It’s so nice that they allow so many… diverse individuals to work with your company.”
His eyes travel down her body before flicking over to you briefly.
“Is it hard to keep your lifestyle and work life separate?” he asks, and your blood boils. You see Wanda’s head lower further. “I imagine it's quite difficult to relate to your peers, with a secret like that.”
Natasha is seconds away from exploding, tearing him down with sharp words and securing her own termination in the same breath.
You find your voice, the quiet strength of your words surprising you. “I’ve been out and proud since I was in high school. I’ve never been ashamed of who I am. And neither is my wife.”
Wanda’s eyes cut sharply over to you, that specific shade of light green filling your vision.
“Why the fuck would you give this to me if you didn’t want me to interpret it that way?” You’re not yelling, you never would. Not at her. Never at Wanda. But you can feel the frustration leaking into each syllable, and you hate the way that Wanda’s shoulders seem to hunch in on themselves.
“I never meant for you to…” Wanda can’t continue, her eyes locked on the poetry book you’re clutching between your fingers.
“You never meant for me to fall in love with you?”
A flinch, green eyes staring at the carpet and gentle fingers clenched uselessly over the back of a chair. The words bounce around your dorm room, settling in with a tentative weariness.
“Why would you give me this poetry book about romance and passion and fighting for love if that’s not what you wanted me to think about you?” you set the book down on your desk, the pages flipping open. You can see the smudged ink of your annotations. That was a flaw of yours, always writing too fast as you try to keep up with the thoughts in your head.
“That’s not what I mean I-” Wanda’s eyes are locked on the book and you watch her swallow harshly. Her voice is shaky, her head bowed. You hate it, and there’s nothing you can do to make it better. “I can’t love you.”
“You don’t love me?”
“That’s not what I said.” Wanda’s voice is quiet.
Oh.
“You don’t understand,” Wanda has unshed tears in her eyes. You want to wipe them away, your fingers twitching, unsure if you’re allowed to anymore. “My family means everything to me.”
Oh.
The weight of tragedy settles in, burying itself deep within your bones and wrapping around your heart and squeezing. All of the cracks you’d smothered appear at once, splintering and creating new fractures with each labored pump of poisonous blood coursing through your body.
You finally understand what the poets mean. The metaphors and desperation, the weight of grief and longing and the way it sticks to your very soul like a parasite that you keep feeding and nurturing because the pain of forgetting is worse than the crushing travesty of remembering.
Wanda is talking, and for the first time, you’re not paying attention to her words. She’s saying something about her parents and financial dependence and them cutting her off and all you can hear is that she’s stuck and scared and trying to protect herself and you can’t choose her path for her.
It’s agony, it’s grief and it’s nothing like what you imagined as you innocently read the words scattered across the pages of your poetry book. It’s so much fucking worse. Wanda’s hand is on the doorknob of your dorm, her vanilla scent already fading from your walls as she looks at you with longing and grief and something devastating hidden and suppressed deep within her soul. You wonder if this will be the last time her green eyes ever look at you with genuine emotion shining through them.
You wonder if you’ll ever escape the numbing chill of loneliness that settles beneath your skin like an old friend.
Vision, you’d learned his name at some point during the conversation, seems at a loss for words for the first time since you’ve met him. His face is steadily reddening, the tips of his ears practically scarlet as you watch the hand on Wanda’s shoulder tighten.
“I’ve seen your name credited a lot, you must be very good at what you do.” Wanda’s voice is melodic, her words placating yet genuine. She’s mending the rift, her words an unspoken apology for her husband’s behavior as he stands sullen beside her.
Natasha smiles and begins speaking.
It’s strange, to see the woman you’re in love with talking with Wanda. There was a time when you thought you’d never find someone who made you feel the way Wanda did. You were convinced that your love would live and die with her.
Then, you met your wife.
Natasha was everything you could have ever hoped for. She loved you openly and proudly from the moment she met you. Her commitment to you had never waned, her gestures true and meanings genuine. You’d never trusted somebody more, never felt as comfortable with another person.
She stood by your side when others did not. She held you when you were sick, and stayed by your side when you were at your lowest. The day that you had married her was the best day of your life, and your vows were nothing short of pure truth. The green eyes that had looked at you from across the altar were vibrant and dark, your love for that shade of green far surpassing the one you’d loved all those years ago.
So why did it still hurt to think about Wanda?
If you had to choose. Right now, Natasha or Wanda, you knew you’d choose your wife in every lifetime. But that didn’t explain the splintering cracks reappearing on your heart the longer you stayed in Wanda’s presence.
Music rattles the floor, a plethora of swirling hues surrounding you. Your senses are dulled by the fiery liquor burning within your veins, your brain finally relaxing.
“Dude, come on don’t just stand there like a weirdo,” Kate pulls you away from the wall, spilling your cup in the process.
You both look down at it for a moment, before bursting into peals of laughter that leave you clutching her shoulder for support as she bends at the waist. Her dark hair falls neatly over her shoulders, her backward cap holding it in place.
The music drowns out most of your laughter, but you’re aware of the eyes on both you and Kate as you wipe tears from your eyes. She’s pulling you closer to the DJ, dancing sloppily with you. You can’t bring yourself to care about the people around you. There was one goal tonight, get absolutely sloshed at the local college bars and then pass out on Kate’s couch to forget about the whole thing.
“Who the fuck let the sloppy, drunk dykes in?”
Kate doesn’t hear the words, but you do. You turn to face the group near you, the liquor making you bold. It’s a bunch of sorority girls, with their skin-tight dresses and judging eyes watching you with caked-on mascara. Your heart drops when you see Wanda standing in the middle of them.
Your blood runs cold, a surge of sadness and fury sweeping through you. It’s confusing, but most of all, it’s fucking infuriating.
Behind you, Kate stumbles, her elbow knocking into your side. Your arms wrap around her, keeping her upright as she mumbles an apology in your ear. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Wanda whisper something to one of the girls, their eyes on you and filled with mirthful laughter.
“You’re right, Wanda,” the girl says, loud enough for the whole group to hear. “These dyke sluts would probably jump on the nearest dick they could find, since nobody else wants to fuck them.”
The blood rushes to your ears, and Kate’s gasp reverberates around your skull. The bar seems quieter than before, and a multitude of eyes are on you and the blonde bitch in front of you is smirking like she just stole your favorite candy and Wanda is laughing and pointedly avoiding eye contact with you but her smile wavers slightly as her eyes grow sad for a split second before she remembers where she is and you’re so fucking mad and it all just seems so goddamn tragic and-
Your fist connects solidly with that stupid, smug smirk that the blonde girl proudly plasters on her face. There are gasps and Kate whooping loudly in your ear and arms wrapped around you and pulling you towards the door and alcohol making your head spin and fuck you’ve never felt more alive.
Wanda’s eyes finally meet yours. They’re filled with shock, but just before she turns away, you see a sliver of gratitude and the hint of an apology glimmering in their depths.
Needless to say, both you and Kate are banned from that bar.
Your wife is laughing. The echoes of mean laughter from Wanda and her sorority sisters fade into the background noise of your brain as you refocus on the conversation. Natasha’s soft chuckles bring a smile to your face before you can stop it, your lips turning up as you look at her.
She’s effortlessly pretty, her eyes crinkled slightly at the edges even as her gaze flickers warily over to Vision. Her arm is wrapped around your waist, solid yet unrestrictive.
Wanda’s eyes linger around the fingers that lightly draw circles against your hip. She seems to shake herself, eyes quickly moving back towards safer territory as she focuses on Natasha’s face. You don’t miss the fleeting expression of longing that flits across her face, her appearance seeming soul-crushingly tired for a mere moment before it smooths over in a way that speaks to years of practice.
You wonder if she’s remembering the same night that rises to the front of your mind. You try to combat it, to stay in the moment. Natasha's fingers squeeze your hips lovingly, and you descend into the memory with bone-deep guilt.
The concrete is cold beneath you, the wind picking up slightly and threading its way through your hair. You shiver, feeling Wanda adjust her body closer to yours. You’re aware of her heat spreading through you. Her hand fits seamlessly in yours, and you wonder when loving Wanda became as easy and inevitable as breathing.
“Do you think the poets compared their words to the stars?” Wanda asks.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” you say, breathing in her vanilla scent. It’s hard to focus on her words when her body is pressed fully against yours, your left side burning with warmth and something else that you’re almost scared to identify.
Wanda chuckles, the sound heating your cheeks further.
“Well,” she pauses. That’s one of the things you love about her, how careful she is with her words. “Do you think they viewed their words, their poems, as unattainable yet beautiful and pure?”
You’re quiet. You can think of something that is also unattainable, pure and completely inevitable. It’s not poetry, and it’s not the glittering stars that take up your vision. She’s lying right beside you, her nose bright red from the wind and a future stretching out ahead of her that she is able to mold into something beautiful and something that is completely her own. If only she had the courage to do so. You hope she does.
“Of course they did. They’re poets,” you respond, and Wanda hums. “Do you feel that way?”
Wanda doesn’t respond, and that’s enough of an answer for you.
The silence stretches on, but it's comfortable. Wanda is shifting silently, more of her body pressing against you, the wind having died down a while ago, leaving no easy excuses for her leg pressed fully against yours.
“You wanna know what I think?” Wanda’s voice is quiet, yet firm.
Turning your head, you look at her. She looks back, her lips mere inches away from yours. You can feel the soft, warm breath escaping her lips and hitting your face as she speaks.
“I think that you’re like the stars,” Wanda begins, her green eyes sparkling at you. They glance down imperceptibly, almost too quickly for you to catch. You notice, of course you do. “You're incomparable, chemical almost.”
Wanda trails off, her eyes firmly focused on your lips. You understand, you always do.
“I can’t tell if you’re a curse or a miracle,” you whisper, feeling Wanda lean in. The tension vibrates palpably between your lips and hers. “But I don’t really care.”
Soft lips collide with yours, a seismic shift that causes your head to spin for a moment. It’s perfect and pure and something bordering on holiness and you find yourself never wanting to leave this moment. Then, Wanda’s lips are moving against yours and the heat inside you is rising and her hands are everywhere and you can’t get enough of her and-
Her moans feel almost reverent, stretching out into the minimal space between you as she arches herself closer to you. Her skin is pressed against yours, warm and alive and feeling every last bit like an all-consuming force that you gladly pull closer. Your fingers slip inside her easily, the feeling of her bringing tears to your eyes. You want to live in this moment forever, with the taste of her on your lips and her thighs impossibly soft around you, her head thrown back as she chants your name like a prayer.
You’ve never believed in God. But in this moment, you finally know what it truly means to worship.
A man’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.
“Well, as lovely as it’s been to meet you…” Vision trails off, and Natasha simply raises an eyebrow.
“Thank you for the wonderful conversation,” Wanda’s smooth words cut in, another unspoken apology and excuse for her husband's behavior. “We should probably be leaving, it’s getting late.”
Green eyes glance at her husband, whether for permission or in reprimand, you can’t tell. Either way, it gets Vision to move, a firm head nod directed towards your wife before he’s striding towards the door, pulling Wanda with him.
She’s leaving. Again.
A final memory claws its way to the surface. You know this one. It's a memory that you’ve kept hidden in the deepest part of your brain, in a place full of sticky cobwebs and scarce lighting, meant to be forgotten.
It’s inevitable.
Wanda is almost at the exit, her husband's hand possessive against the small of her back. It speaks of ownership, of pride. You despise it. It’s nothing like the soft, loving touch of your wife’s hand against your waist.
The turn of a head and soft brunette waves falling gently around delicate, hunched shoulders. Soft skin, glowing slightly in the dim, red lighting of an exit sign. Green eyes, piercing yours in the same manner that they had all those years ago.
Your breath catches, lodging itself painfully in your throat. Or maybe it's just your chest, and what lies beneath the surface. A heart, with cracks all along the surface, squeezing painfully, the tension, the agony almost too much to bear.
A single tear slides down your cheek. You hear Natasha murmuring something in your ear, a gentle hand wiping your face dry.
There’s a mask sliding into place over those perfect features that you’d memorized a decade ago. Green eyes, light in shade, sliding past you as if you’re an insignificant, forgotten trophy on the highest shelf. And then she’s gone, out the door with only the faint scent of vanilla and a permanent memory etched into your mind.
The cracks splinter, and without warning, shatter completely.
“Pick up, pick up… please just… fucking. Ah, just, goddamnit pick up the fucking phone Wanda.”
You’re drunk, the phone feeling awkward and heavy in your hands. The sound of a dial tone beeping ricochets through your mind, and you clumsily jerk the phone away from your ear. Blearily, you take in the four previous calls you’ve made to Wanda.
One more try can’t hurt. Right?
You firmly press your finger against her name, the sound of your phone dialing her number washing over you. The tiny numbers in the corner of your screen read somewhere between one or two in the morning, but you don’t care. All you need is for Wanda to pick up.
A sound, different from before. You hear quiet breathing on the other side of the line.
God, you’ve missed that sound. The feeling of her head resting against your shoulder or chest as slow measured breaths fill the four walls of your dorm room. The small puffs of air hitting your skin when she shifted, burying her face in your neck.
You say as much, the words spilling out of you. You’re not sure if Wanda is listening, but you hope she is.
“Fuck, I- I just miss you so much. It feels like I’m dying every time I see you, and I can’t take your eyes avoiding mine anymore. I mean,” you hiccup, the sound pathetic even to your own ears. It doesn’t matter.
“Don’t you miss us?” you say, your voice quiet. The soft breaths on the other end of the line hitch, and you grasp at it. “I miss the flame of what we were, I don’t even really know what we were, but… I miss the small reign we had. Even if it was just in the space of my dorm room. I would go through the pain of you every day if it meant I could be close to you. I-”
You lose the words, the regret pouring through you as quickly as a flooding river. The words can’t escape fast enough.
“Do you regret us? I know we were a secret, and I was okay with that. I would have done anything, kept anything private, secret even, just to keep you in my life. You know that Wanda.” You draw a shaky breath. You hope that you don’t imagine the same type of breath on the other end of the line.
“Do you miss it?” You ask, hating the way your voice cracks gently. You hear Wanda’s sharp, soft inhale. “Do you regret the secret of us?”
Click.
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