#I also thought i was aromantic for a while

[evertidings]

not to be dramatic but Blane functioning as a "rivals/enemies to lovers/friends" story, while not only having no "sexual tension", but also having them be asexual is so so special to me.

I think the reason I've disliked so many enemies to lovers stories is bc they've been very hetero and allo normative, and as a trans ace person, Blane's story thus far and them being canonically ace is means sm and I love it. They aren't even my main RO but their story is very important to me, thank you sm for writing this, even in an environment that unfortunately often sexualizes these kinds of characters.

I'm rambling but I love this novel, this was just one aspect that caught me very off guard in the absolute best of ways

This is a topic I could go on and on about so I’ll try not to go on too much of a tangent, but the reason I wrote Blane as asexual is because 1) I’m asexual myself and saw a lack of representation that I wanted to fill 2) the representation I did see was either little to none and very one-dimensional.

What I mean by this is asexuality tends to be tied to aromanticism, which, while perhaps is a common occurrence, leads to a lack of portrayals of asexuals experiencing romance and love. That’s why I made Blane. Aside from the fact that I personally feel a deep connection with them, because asexuality is often demonstrated one specific way, I wanted to branch out and showcase that it’s much more nuanced that people think.

The rivals to lovers trope can be masterfully (I hope) crafted without sexual tension and asexual people don’t always have to be aromantic. Blane, though sex repulsed, craves affection just like anyone else—and I think that’s wonderful and beautiful and they deserve it.

That all said, I’m still incredibly grateful for the portrayals we do have and I’m so glad to see the media slowly start to embrace more identities and sexualities, but it gets tiring sometimes. And I thought hey, if I’m not seeing more representation, why don’t I just make one?

So yeah. All in all, thank you. It’s always a pleasure to read asks like this and see so much support for Blane. I know their sexuality hasn’t come up in game yet but it warms my heart to see them be embraced by the community in this way <3

[honeypot-sapphic]

Me holding on to the last threads of my asexual identity so I don't lose the one constant part of how I've identified for as long as I've known I'm queer

[dreamsy990]

some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace

extras below the cut

sketch

closeups on my favorite panels

bonus: adios

[saturnniidae]

I love how like, ambiguous so many Studio Ghibli 'couples' are. They're primarily male/female duos, and it's clear how much they love and care for each other, but more often than not it's never explicitly stated to be romantic. And their bonds aren't treated any less for it.

Idk it's just something I've always held close to my heart as someone who grew up not feeling romantic attraction the way most do, it made the characters feel more relatable and human to me, and while I still didnt fully understand my identity (didn't know being aro was a thing), it helped me better reconcile with it. And I feel that's incredibly important.

(And not just from an aro perspective. portrayal of m/f friendships is rare and something we desperately need more of)

Yes, they love each other deeply, but they don't need to kiss or be a couple for that love to be agknowledged and treated with importance. It's not any less than it would be if they weren't platonic. Hell, it doesn't even need to strictly be platonic or romantic. It could just be somewhere in between and that's okay.

Studio Ghibli fr out here making the most alterous duos I've ever seen.

[many-gay-magpies]

seeing all these posts talking about payneland as if its some tragic unrequited love drives me insane ngl. or i guess not TRAGIC but the posts that are like "man edwin really got every boy except the one he wanted" HE ALREADY HAD HIM. HE ALREADY FUCKING HAD HIM ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?? MAYBE NOT ROMANTICALLY BUT GOD HE HAD HIM. AND HE STILL HAS HIM.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Daniel, Deconstructed

YA contemporary

an autistic boy interested in photography and cyperpunk LARPing notices his soccer-star best friend seems sad after a breakup, and decides he should try set her up with the cool new kid he just met

(because he thinks she’d be better off hanging out with other cool people than his boring self)

but the matchmaking doesn’t really work out - he’s developing a crush on the new kid and his friend doesn’t seem interested, and he has to question what he wants out of his relationships

pan MC, pan nonbinary LI, aro bi best friend

[thedemonsurfer]

-lays down-

I KNOW the thing is like. Ace people can fuck, aro people can date-- but also that's apparently not supposed to be applied to characters because it's an excuse--

But like, here's the thing. Look me in the eyes here.

Then fucking write them outside of traditional shipping.

Stop telling people what they can and can't write and write it YOURSELF

You can come up with a million "but what if" statements, and at the end of the day this is still a "You can't ship [x] because [y]" comment being made.

So get good! Write the stories you want to see!

[braidedhades]

just found out that non-aromantics actually have feelings towards the people they decide to have a crush on. Apparently it’s not like, “hmmm should I consider this person for dating? what are the pros and cons here?” Or like, “I want to be really close friends with that person” But it’s like an actual emotional response or something? An emotion that is different from the “I wanna be really close friends” emotion??

also I just figured out that I’m aromantic

[feyriejane]

yall don't know platonic yearning like I do 😤

[saske69]

Finding out you're aromantic because you recently got in contact again with a childhood friend and cuddling with them and wanting them to be near you all the time but don't want them to have romantic feelings towards you because you are unable to return them and possibly ruining the relationship with them is ass

And then they're a biromantic asexual so you feel bad for having sexual thoughts about them

[cpyclopse]

Happy Aro Spectrum Week!

Rarity is so aroace to me

[My art]

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I think we may have integrated a little too hard the idea that being aroace is the "easy mode" of queerness, and so contextualized all acephobic experiences as "not that bad" inherently rather than taking a hard look at them and what they can look like

[corioliseffect]

new curse dropped: having fic ideas but i refuse to write rpf/don't think i even could

[automaticnerdbread]

Haha!! Take that!

*Platonics your love song*

[ticklepinions]

Welcome to another episode of am I an asshole or just aroace.

Recently I've been in a situation where I've contemplated my sexuality a lot. My best friend has been telling me all about their dating escapades and honestly I'm a bit over it. Obviously as a friend I want to support someone I care about, but I just get into this mood I can't really explain??? I get so disinterested and even feel a bit hurt in a way. So ofc I do some reflecting and I think I found an answer.

A lot of my friendships with people ususlly looked different when they were romantically involved with someone. They would obviously need to prioritize their romantic partner, but sometimes I felt discarded. And i feel like we don't talk about that enough. I mentioned it a bit in my other post but to be pretty much replaced by someone you only know for a short amount of time feels some typa way. And I get it- I won't be priority #1 and I'm okay with that. But I feel like sometimes, men especially, have this toxic idea that their partners become their everything. And in turn, (in my case at least), pay less attention to their friends since their partner is now their sole support system.

So I think there's this small voice in my head telling me that when my friend(s) do find a partner, I'm just gonna be cast aside. I would be absolutely elated if my friend did find someone though, i just know for myself it would be an adjustment.

I feel like loneliness for an aroace person hits a bit different. Especially as I'm getting older, and seeing all of the people I know get into relationships, get married, and/or having kids. My family always asks when I'm going to get a partner (I haven't and probably couldn't come out to them safely). So many times I've been told I haven't found the "right person" or my aroace identity is "just a phase". And it's just gotten so old and bothersome at this point.

I can't even discern what thoughts are my own or the internalized aro/acephobia thats been deeply entrenched in my mind. I feel like I'm trapped in a state of just not knowing. And i get it, I have time, I can discover a different identity that makes more sense for me. But I don't want it!? I feel the most myself being asexual and aromantic (i think!). It's just that having to explain why or justify my existence is getting so exhausting. The way platonic love is just automatically pegged to be the least of all the other loves is just so sad to me.

I know about qprs and honestly they sound pretty dope but idk I might just end up with this loneliness eating away at me. The relationship I'd want with a person just seems so niche and unrealistic. I'm just real tired of living up to others expectations in every sense possible. Tired of not being enough. Tired of being stuck in this in-between of caring so much but not at all.

and I shouldn't have to feel like I have to be in a relationship of any kind to be whole 😩. But I think for myself I'd want it? But not the way society has envisioned it y'know?

[rewrittenwrongs]

In a universe where the bats are present on social media, I like to think they announce out of the blue that for pride month they’ll be changing the inside of their capes (or other pieces of their outfits if they don’t have one) to match their respective flags. This of course causes several identity crisis’s among them.