#I actually cried while writing part of this

[chrisbahng]

oh. my. god.

i am actually so speechless right now.

this is singlehandedly my favorite Jay fic, ever. absolutely everything about this had my heart racing.

the buildup, the way you write Jay, the conflict, the letter....flawless from the first word to the last.

im excited for the next part, but my heart still aches for Jay, for the longing he went through, just to lose you.

i genuinely cried reading the last bits of this work, and i will be thinking of this for a while.

absolutely incredible work.

TO THE BOY: who was my rival

PAIRING: jay x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, fluff, romance, angst, slight slowburn, mentions of thunderstorm, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), fingering, marking, creampie, hot tub sex, shower sex, choking kink, mentions of petnames (princess, doll, darling, baby), mentions of jaemin (nct), yeonjun, taehyun and beomgyu (txt), yeji (itzy), karina (aespa), lmk if i missed anything!

WORD COUNT: 27.6k (27617 words)

SYNOPSIS: You weren’t sure if luck was on your side when you repeatedly found yourself accompanied by your rival, Jay—a smart as well as humble guy, during the entirety of your university field trip. You witnessed new sides of him, but what you did not expect was to see him shirtless in the hot tub, looking effortlessly beautiful under the moonlight.

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

OTHER PARTS: part 1 and part 2

A/N: hihii my angels <3 i’m finally back with jay’s part of the series! i want to apologize for the long wait and i wanna thank you all for being so patient! also, thank you soo much for 9k followers <33 i hope y'all will enjoy this! :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are so highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all <33

You had grown to hate the sound of your alarm.

Seoul was a city that never slept, always bustling with energy, filling people to the brim with new hopes and a promising future. 

For someone whose attention was solely on the betterment of oneself, you fit right into the crowd of ambitious students albeit the sudden change in your routines, having to be more independent now that you lived in the shared rented apartment near your university, not having it in you to live in the dorms even though they were plenty comfortable.

Taking up extra jobs at the nearby cafes only added to your already packed schedule. Not only did it provide you with extra cash, but also helped you escape your ever so present intrusive thoughts. It was your escapism from your past life, wanting to forget all about your heartbreaks and you were glad to see good results, the technique working out well for you. 

Huffing, you got up with a groan and dismissed your alarm. Getting up was not your favourite activity, rather, it was easier for you to stay up the night. Regardless, you got up and dragged yourself to shower, not having it in you to miss the first lecture, especially when the subject was a bit bothersome for you. 

The campus was lively despite it being early. A bunch of new faces around you made you feel slightly better, also stopping to look at the outfits of a few girls passing by, loving the colours of their jackets. 

The scene reminded you of your first day at the campus.

You remember how you looked like a lost puppy finding your way towards your department building. Thankfully, your teacher incharge had recognized your face, calling you over. Only then did you notice the presence of a tall person standing next to Mrs. Min, your eyes fixating on him to see his jawline and you swore it was one of the most attractive faces you had ever witnessed in your life. 

“Jay, come here for a second, meet Y/n,” your teacher, Mrs. Min had said, giving you the name of the stranger easily, and it suited his image well. 

You suddenly felt conscious under his gaze, it was sharp, just like his facial features. He was tall with the prettiest shade of melanin, you noticed he had a few piercings on his ears, which added to his already attractive personality.

He was intimidating until he smiled, eyes turning into pretty crescents as he extended his hand, “Nice to meet you, I’m Jay.”

His deep baritone surprised you, which was fairly warm and welcoming as well. And that’s when you decided to title him as the ‘prince’, prince because of how straight his posture was, as if he had gotten personal training to be neat and perfect. 

You smiled as softly as you could, back straightening as you held on to his hand, yours being smaller than his, and shook it firmly, “Hey, I’m Y/n, pleased to meet you.”

Mrs. Min smiled fondly at your interaction, “Y/n is new in the city, and would love some guidance from her fellow classmates. There is no one better to do it than you,” she spoke and he nodded, listening to her with a serious face. You gathered that Jay might have lurked around the campus before, hence he knew the professors already, “Please be kind enough to inform her about everything a student needs to know here.”

“Yes, ma’am. Don’t worry about her at all, I will guide her through the basics,” he spoke earnestly, bowing down and you followed him as professor Min left you alone with him.

“Uhm, you don’t have to do anything, really! But I’ll appreciate it if you show me the way towards the lecture halls,” you sheepishly spoke, his chuckle making you feel at ease. 

“I don’t mind helping you. When did you shift here?” he asked softly, walking by your side and you answered all his questions, asking him some as well. 

Your acquaintance lasted for two days before you met Yeji, she came to you like a ray of sunshine, you weren’t sure if you had seen a smile so contagious before her. Safe to say, she didn’t leave your side from that day when you gave her a spare pen during your class. 

Speaking of her, you turned around as you heard her voice calling out your name, “Can’t we miss our class today?” she groaned. She wasn't much of a morning person as well, prioritizing good sleep over studies, while also not getting enough sleep at night and complaining about it the very next day. 

“We can, if you want to fail cause we won't understand anything later,” you pointed out, walking straight.

“Why are you so diligent? Let's go to the cafe instead,” she pouted, eyes begging you silently. 

The cafe, it was the one Jay had told you about on the very first day, mentioning how they have the best coffee at the cheapest price, also a top secret place. However, you did end up telling Yeji and Karina about it, the place becoming your spot soon after. Not to mention how you ran into Jay a few times there, exchanging smiles as a greeting.

“Yeji, we can't,” you deadpanned, “Weren't you looking for a tutor anyways?”

“Ugh, I hate it when you're right.” 

The scene was definitely a lot different than what you had back in your hometown, everything felt new to you. A sense of comfort, however, always followed you around. The first two days it was Jay, after that, Yeji and Karina — they never left your side. Karina was born and raised in Seoul, giving her the perfect opportunity to be your travel guide, sorting the problems for you and Yeji both, who had also come from a different town.

You sat down in the middle row of the lecture hall, Karina soon joining you, holding coffees for you both. She was a darling indeed.

“God, I love you,” you hugged her while Yeji brokenly mumbled how she was gonna marry Rina. 

She giggled, opening her iPad which she used to take notes as all the students began pouring into the class.

One thing about your university was that it was full of rich students, rich students who got quality education from the day they landed on earth, and some just got in due to the heavy influence of the family money, donations and a lot more. 

This institution was your dream and priority, and so you didn't mind even though you didn't stick out in the middle of a crowd, but you were happy to know that your professors acknowledged your determination and hard work towards your academic goals. 

This year, you were hellbent on one thing — getting an internship at Phoenix Tech, knowing that one spot would be open for your university students to take up an internship while also continuing with your education. 

Which gets you back to the being rich part, the ones who had the money, got in their internships readily. But, you would have to secure your spot by your own efforts, earnestly.

You sighed, lost in your thoughts before looking up to pay attention to Karina, “What's your plan for today?” she asked, however, you were interrupted before you could answer.

“Y/n, good morning,” Jay greeted you with a smile, sitting directly in front of you as his friends took up the rest of the seats in that very row. 

“Hey,” you said slowly, “good morning,” you returned the smile before your eyes widened, courtesy of Yeji's kick. 

“Are you flirting right now?” she marvelled out loud.

“They always do this,” Karina gave her input, “he smiles everytime he sees her in the morning.”

Another thing about Jay was that he lived in the same apartment as you, a rented one, his door being right in front of yours. Just like you, he lived with one of his roommates, Taehyun.

“I'm sitting right here you guys,” you sighed, “and no, it's not like that.”

“Sure,” they both dragged out before professor Jung came into view, starting the class. He taught well, you'd agree, but a few concepts were hard to grasp in general, hence your undivided attention went to his teaching during the entirety of your lecture duration.

It passed by quickly, and you packed your stuff once the bell rang.

“Jay and,” he paused to look into a list he had in his hand, following up by taking your name, “Y/n, please stay back for a few minutes, I have something to discuss with you both.” 

You tilted your head, confused but nodded at your friends to go ahead, assuring them that you'll catch up soon. 

“I see you both have been doing exceptionally well in your subjects—” he spoke and you felt relieved, “—which reminds me to inform you about the internship applications all students submitted earlier,” that caught your attention, you looked at Jay to find him being just as curious as you, “congratulations, you both have been shortlisted to be the candidates for the same, one of you will be selected by the end of this semester, and will be informed about everything later.”

You bit the inside of your cheek as an attempt to hide your smile, “Thank you, professor! It means a lot to me!” you said, Jay following suit and expressing his gratitude to be selected for the same before you both bowed down together.

“Hey, congratulations,” Jay said once you were outside, holding on to your wrist to stop you.

The sweetness of the boy in front of you made the corner of your lips twitch up, “Congratulations, Jay. You've always been hardworking, you deserve this.”

He proceeded to smile, noticing how he was still holding your hand, he let go of it at once, embarrassed, “I truly wish you luck, I'll give my best, I hope you do too.”

That's when it hit you, Jay was your rival from the given moment, for, only one of you would be selected in the very end. 

Ever since that day, something had switched between you both, maybe it was only from your side but, you couldn't see Jay as the sweet neighbour anymore, he was your rival, no matter how sickly pretty his smile was, you couldn't let him win. 

“Why aren't you happy about it?” Yeji asked once she saw you sulking in your bedroom, she lived with you, and you'd admit that she was a great roommate, always respectful and an amazing friend.

“Because, it's a competition and I can't help but wonder what would happen if I don't get that internship?” 

“Hey! Don't degrade yourself like that. I believe in you, and you should too!” Yeji more or less scolded.

“I just,” you gulped, “want a good future ahead of me,” a sigh left your mouth.

That had grown to be your life motto, and in all honesty, you liked this plan, wanting to stick to it. Yeji pulled you in a hug, patting your back gently. She knew all about your past breakups, and hence, your constant will to move on and become independent enough to not want anyone else. 

You knew that love was a void which feels like home when filled to brim, but, somewhere deep inside of you, laid a strange fear in the form of avoidance. Your safety walls are higher now.

You excused yourself, “I'll be out on the terrace, I need a bit of fresh air.”

Yeji let you go with an encouraging smile, not before taking out a chocolate from her pocket, pretending as if she got it using magic, getting a good chuckle out of you. 

You didn't mind going there in your shorts, the night atmosphere blessed you with a cool breeze, you could feel the winter approaching at a slow pace. The place wasn't silent per se, but it was peaceful enough to lie down on a mattress, peaceful enough to let go of your worries for a while, watching the stars in the sky, trying to make a pattern out of it. 

However, you didn't bring your mattress with you, settling to watch the sky with a craned neck, empty by chase atlantic blasting in your earphones in a soothing manner. Closing your eyes, you let your body absorb the coolness of the air.

Your moment of peace soon came to an end when you felt the warmth of a hand on your shoulder, eyes opening in a panic and neck twisting to see who it was with a hand on your chest, right above your heart.

Park Jay. The one you've been thinking about the whole day. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” he smiled, joining you without any invitation.

“You scared me!” you spoke up, looking at him with an accusatory glare. 

He chuckled, stuffing his hands in his sweatpants pocket, “I'm sorry, I honestly rarely ever see anyone coming up here so, yeah, I didn't want to disturb you. I can leave if you'd want that.”

Ever so respectful.

“No, no! It's fine,” you shook your head, looking up at him in the dim light, his eyes sparkling and a shadow of his curved lips was on display.

“What are you thinking about?” his question came out soft.

You didn't answer, voicing out another thought of yours instead, “I just realized that we never really talked to each other, other than the greetings, of course.”

“So, you were thinking about me?” he teased, bending to your eye level.

Now, that was something he had never done before, nor did you ever see him flirting with anyone else, the statement catching you off guard as you hit his shoulder at the absurd thought, only to come in contact with his muscle, which further render you speechless, “Sure, I have nothing better to do anyway.”

He snorted, “Yeah? What do you think about then?” he asked, coming closer.

You stepped back almost instantly, “Why do you wish to know that?” 

“Because, like you said, we never really talked before this conversation,” he shrugged, “and maybe I want to get to know you better.”

Your cheeks heated up despite the cold wind outside.

“It’s nothing,” you squeaked, “Just have been thinking about the internship, I guess.”

“Worried about it? Don’t be. You're more than capable of getting selected. You were shortlisted for a reason, Y/n.” His words were sincere, which only made you feel worse since you have been restless thinking about him being the one who gets it. 

“You're being so nice about it. Do—do you not see me as a rival then?” you were hesitant while asking. 

“Of course I do! You're my rival, but that does not mean I'll despise you for it. We'll be taking it as a friendly competition, won’t we?” he asked, staring deep into your eyes, and you swear you noticed him gulp down before he extended his arm for you to shake.

“Yeah,” you shook his hand firmly, just like the very first day you had met him, “but I’ll win this, Park,” you spoke as a whisper into his ear.

Competitions are hardly ever friendly. 

It wasn’t a threat, it was something playful that came out of your mouth, like a promise that would lead to more interactions between you both.

“I’m amused, I must say that,” he bit his lip, suddenly grabbing your waist and pulling you closer as you let out a yelp, his voice coming out deeper as he spoke into your ear, “Game on.”

The exchange from that night was quick to carve itself into your memory. You fiddled with the rings on your fingers as you remember how he stroked your cheek slightly, leaving you alone with a smirk right after he said that. Your whole body felt warm and you rushed back to your room, making sure that Jay had reached his own room first.

Him living in the apartment room just across yours from the corridor made it easy for him to run into you. 

“Do you need a ride?” he asked you, once he saw Yeji locking your door, him and Taehyun coming out at the same time. 

“Yes, please!” she groaned, answering in your place, not wanting to walk all the way to the campus, as she dragged you along with her. 

You smiled at how enthusiastically Yeji talked to them both while you sat quietly, staring at the surroundings outside. The ride wasn't long, barely ten minutes at maximum. 

“You don't talk much, do you?” Jay asked once you were out and walking towards your lecture room, Yeji engrossed in a conversation about aliens with Taehyun, “but, you were talkative that night.” 

You looked at him, “Shut up! That does not sound appropriate!” you whisper.

“Sounds pretty appropriate to me, unless you're thinking about something else,” he wiggled his brows and you pushed him away, walking faster.

To say that Jay had started to acknowledge your presence would be an understatement. You found yourself around him a lot more, and it was purely based on your luck — you weren’t sure if you should call it that. 

He was the first one who rushed to your sitting area after getting the class tests back, always comparing the answers as he went through your sheets with a concentrated pout on his face, while you used to snatch his sheets just to make sure that you had a better score, even by a mark. 

Your ever so friendly competition went on for a good while before your friend groups merged, which caused you to sit down with the four most popular boys of your major — Jay, Taehyun, Yeonjun and Beomgyu. The latter two being the rich ones, and they showed it off well.

People wanted to know how you managed to become friends with the four, when in reality you only knew Jay and Taehyun, your friends being more social and befriending the other two as well.

“I have a good feeling about today,” Karina spoke up, sipping on her iced americano.

“Right? I just have this feeling deep inside of me that we'll be getting good news today!” Gyu spoke up with enthusiasm.

“Well, duh. Don't you guys know what time of the year it is?” Yeji asked with raised brow and you simply looked at your side, only to find Tae being as lost as you.

“Oh! It's the yearly excursion time!” Yeonjun more or less screamed, and you took note of how energetic he was on a daily basis.

“I've heard about those. It's mostly a around three to four days long and they make us visit museums and other such places, however, the resort is talk worthy.” 

You turned your head at Jay's input. You most certainly did not know about all that, but you weren't against the idea either, a break was something you'd been wishing upon for a while, an educational trip would provide you just that. 

“Is it free of cost?” you tilted your head, curious. 

“I don't think so, the amount must be very low since the attendance was a hundred percent the last year,” Karina answered.

“But then again, the uni is full of rich students so you never know,” Yeji spoke up and you nodded. 

The recess bell rang at that very moment, causing your conversation to end and for everyone to head to their respective lecture rooms. 

You waved over to Karina, saving the seat next you for her, however, Jay was quicker than her, sitting down next to you with a charming smile on his face. It was as if he knew that him being around would bother you, even more so now that he had gotten a better score than you on a test, it only amused him further with how you had been acting around him lately. 

“Why are you here?” You asked, brows raised. 

“To get a clearer view of the board,” he smiled teasingly. 

“Yeah, like shifting back one row changes a thing,” you smiled back, voice equally sweet. 

He looked deep into your eyes, “it does,” he spoke up, seeming genuine in a manner, however, you couldn’t reply as your professor had started speaking. 

“So,” he stretched out, having a rather jolly mood today, “who’s ready for the yearly college trip?” He asked. 

A roar of cheers were heard, you joined your classmates while doing so, excited to hear more about it. He had a sheet in his hands, which he waved to silence the class before speaking up again. 

“Now, our department will be visiting a town, it’ll take a day for you guys to reach there, the transport medium will be a bus. Oh, I think you guys will love to hear that the resort we’ll be staying at is rated to be the best one in the state,” he announced. 

You looked at Yeji, impressed with their choices as your professor went out announcing what all museums and institutions you’ll be visiting throughout your stay there, including a day full of fun where you would be going to the beach and the areas nearby. 

He was then quick to circulate the forms requiring your signature and informing you of the amount of the money you had to pay for the trip, which was decent in your opinion. You read the whole two pages full of information, also thinking that you could easily earn a bit more cash if you take up a part time job at a nearby cafe or a convenience store. 

The trip was scheduled to take place in a month, and you couldn’t be more excited. You knew your friends were just as thrilled once you saw them chattering happily, already making plans to visit malls for shopping. 

“You coming?” Jay asked, pointing at the sheet. 

“I guess I am,” you smiled softly, which he returned, “and you?” 

“If you are, then yes.” He laughed once you looked at him in disbelief, wanting it to be a normal conversation for once. 

“Obsessed with me, are you?” 

“You know what they say about keeping your friends close—” he started, making you raise your brows, “—but keeping your enemies closer?”

That caught your attention enough for you to turn and face him clearly, the corner of your lips twitching upwards. 

“So you admit that I’m a threat to you?” 

“What if I say yes?” He replied. 

“Aw, and here I thought you were too good of a boy to admit that,” you teased, his eyes widening. 

“A what?” He asked again, this time raising his own eyebrows. 

“A good boy,” you confirmed, booping his nose. 

Never in your wildest dreams had you thought of calling anyone that, however, the light blush and silence from the boy next to you made it certainly better. 

If there wasn’t enough Jay in your life already, Yeji further made it her task to contribute more to it, inviting Taehyun and Jay over to your place for a pizza night between the neighbours and friends.

“Shocked to see you here, devoid of books at that.” Those were the first words he said as soon as he saw you sitting cross legged on your couch, scrolling through your Instagram, lazily double tapping the posts you found amusing. 

You blinked at him twice before returning to look at your phone, opting to ignore his comment which implied that you had no life other than studying. 

Soon enough, Karina, Yeonjun and Gyu made their appearances at your apartment, getting comfortable around on the couches while the pizza was on its way. 

“Oh my god, I know exactly what to watch today,” Gyu said with a mischievous grin, eyes on Jay, “a horror movie.” 

You agreed quickly, horror movies were something you loved to watch, it was as if you had grown immune to being scared of these made up creatures, it was fun to watch movies with different storylines nevertheless. 

Everyone had agreed to it in no time, trying to find a good movie on Netflix, everyone but the guy sitting next to you. 

“Y/n,” Taehyun called out your name, and you turned your head to look at him, “take care of Jay, he’s scared of horror movies,” he whispered in your ear and you refrained yourself from snorting out a laugh. 

You turned to glance at Jay, he looked unsettled, obviously despising the genre of the movie everyone had so cheerily selected. Somehow, you could now feel the proximity of your bodies, his arm almost touching yours and his breathing laboured. 

It wasn’t as if you had completely shut out boys from your life, but you didn’t exactly let anyone get close to you after breaking up with Sunghoon, and right now, you could only think about how close Jay was to you. 

He pulled up the blanket whenever a jump scare came up, surprising you. You never pegged him to be a scaredy-cat.

The situation would have been comical if you hadn’t paid attention to his shaking hands. 

“Jay,” you whispered, capturing his attention, “are you alright?” You asked, concerned. 

You weren’t close to each other by any means so you couldn’t hold his hand to stop him from shaking but distracting him seemed to be the best idea you got on the spot. 

He gulped, looking down at his hands which were resting on his lap before looking up at you and nodding, trying to keep his composure. 

He didn’t want to seem like a loser who’s scared of horror movies. 

You tried to put on a comforting smile for him, pointing to his phone as you texted him asking if he wanted to get out of here. 

The nervousness was clear in his eyes, and at that moment you realized that Jay was just a soft boy who tried to act tough. Girls at university gushed about how he was both smart and hot. His appearance was crisp and tidy during the lectures, in contrast to the outfits he sported off campus, wearing black and bold fits which made him look intimidating. 

Instead of waiting for his reply, you suddenly announced,  “guys, I’ll be back soon, my head hurts and we don’t have any medicines anymore,” you stated, getting up, letting them know that you’ll be going to a nearby pharmacy. 

Yeonjun frowned, “you shouldn’t go out alone this late at night,” he said, worried. 

You nudged Jay by your elbow to subtly ask him to speak up. 

“Hey, I think we have meds at our apartment, I’ll get you some,” he offered, his eyes shining with gratitude. 

“Really? Thanks, Jay, I’ll just be in my room till then,” you pointed at the door which led to your room and he left soon, getting into his apartment, which was easy as he lived in front of your apartment in the same building. 

He sighed, breathing deeply as he tried not to think about what happened at your place. Many people found it funny for him to be scared of horror movies and he laughed it out, but it wasn’t a joke to him. 

It took him four minutes to calm his nerves before going to your apartment, not looking at the movie playing in the living room, heading straight for your room with medicine in his hand, knocking at your door. 

“Oh, you didn’t have to come back,” you softly said as you allowed him in your room. 

He smiled lightly as he showed you the medicine in his hand, “I had to be a good neighbour and get you this,” he joked. 

The atmosphere was not short of awkwardness, he rubbed his nape as he tried to form sentences.

“I—thank you,” he let out, “it just gets too much at times, I know it’s almost stupid to be scared of horror movies but, I’m really glad you helped me out, despite us being rivals and everything,” he ended his note of gratitude with a tinge of humour. 

The corner of your lips lifted up and you were surprised, having a normal civil conversation with him was something you could never do, you were too busy studying, checking answers and discussing your tests, that’s all you talked about to him. Other than that, the random remarks he let out consisted of teasing and bothering you. 

This was new. 

“Don’t go all sappy on me now, Park,” you said as you noticed his eyes wandering around your room, noticing the posters on your wall and the random books opened and sprawled on your bed. 

“It’s okay to say no if you don’t like certain things, everyone out there is your friend and I’m sure they’d understand if you tell them that it actually bothers you,” you said, hoping you weren’t crossing his boundaries. 

“Everyone out there is my friend, huh? Does that include you too?” He asked smoothly, not wanting to talk about this anymore, it only embarrassed him. 

You were quick to raise your brows, “I clearly remember you saying this one particular line which goes—keep your friends close but your enemies closer,” you say, turning around to sit down on your study desk, trying to get your focus back on the worksheet you were solving. 

“If that’s what you want, love. I’ll keep you closer then.” He had a satisfactory expression on his face when he saw you looking back at him with a face that screamed speechless. 

With that, he gave your head a soft pat as he left the medicine on your desk. 

The sudden opening of the door almost gave you a heart attack, your hand on your chest as you looked back to see Yeji and Taehyun coming inside, asking if you’re okay. 

“Don’t tell me you guys missed the movie to study,” Yeji deadpanned, looking at the worksheet you were solving. 

That seemed to be the most perfect excuse for Jay not being there so you both went along with it, knowing it would be better if they didn’t know about how Jay was simply teasing you again. 

“I hope you feel better soon, Y/n, and please rest sometime instead of studying, that’s what’s killing your head,” Tae stated, saying good night to you. 

“Good night, enemy,” Jay smirked, winking before getting out of your room. 

“What’s gotten into him?” You asked no one but yourself, wondering why your heart was still beating fast. 

Taking Taehyun’s advice into consideration, you opted to sleep instead of studying tonight. You knew that sleep could take your mind off Jay, and you were willing to try it out. 

Perhaps Yeji was right about you not having any fun and you contemplated if being at a random party, hooking up with guys would make you any more confident, but it was given that you were being too closed up in your little bubble. 

It was something you hadn’t bothered to pay attention to until now, realizing that your whole day depended on the presence of the same people you met each day. 

The thoughts of you drifting away from reality and not having the sense of enjoyment and fulfilment bothered you the next day, Karina and Yeji looked at you with worried eyes. 

“Trust me girl, you need to get out for once, come to the party with us!” They urged. 

You sighed, your lower lip bitten as you contemplated, “fine, but you have to stay with me,” you said, causing them to shriek out an excited cheer. 

They talked about how it was really convenient that the party was being held at Yeonjun’s place, and that his parties were the best in the whole university, meaning, you would have to dress up to a next level. 

Even though you had devoted the past few months of your life to studies, it did not mean that you were out of loop when it came to fashion and dressing up. 

You really enjoyed your time while getting ready with the girls, who almost threw a fit, complaining about how they cannot find the right dress for themselves. While Yeji helped you do your hair, your mind subconsciously drifted into wondering whether a certain guy would also be at the party. You couldn’t lie, his sense of fashion was immaculate as it was, but you wondered if it could get any better than that. 

“All done!” Yeji’s voice snapped you out of your trance, and you groaned, wanting him out of your head, which seemed impossible as the events of yesterday kept on replaying in your mind. 

Looking into the mirror, you smiled softly. It had been a while since you had dressed up and genuinely put in effort for your makeup and hair. Ultimately, it paid off. 

“My princess, you look so hot right now,” Yeji purred, her shameless eyes checking you out teasingly, causing you to laugh. 

“Well kitten, we’ll have to miss the party if you keep on saying such stuff.” You winked as Karina watched you two in disbelief. 

“So what, no one’s gonna flirt with me?” She gasped, twirling around in her short, two toned dress which accentuated her figure. 

That was Yeji’s cue to push Karina against the wall and place a sloppy kiss on her cheek, causing her to whine out a complaint and for you both to laugh your hearts out. 

The act was enough for Karina to drag you and Yeji out and finally leave for the party, it was highly convenient that she had a driver who was willing to wait for you all so you won’t have to call a cab back home all drunk. 

Not that you were planning to drink a lot, maybe a glass or two, since the aftermath of being drunk wasn’t something you were ready to face. 

And neither were you ready to face Park Jay in a cream coloured silk shirt with the top two buttons opened, revealing his toned chest along with his defined clavicle, a dainty necklace gracing his neck, the pendant resting right above his sternum. 

A minute had passed since you entered the last mansion of Yeonjun, arm in arm with your girl friends, that’s the exact second you saw him. You met Jay on a frequent basis, however, you had never once seen him in his true element.

That outfit was made for him, the black pants and silver rings adorning his fingers completed the look, hair parted and styled in a way to display his forehead, his usual specs missing and to top it all, it was absolutely mesmerizing how he swayed his body to the beat, dancing with his friend group. 

Even you couldn’t deny that he looked ravishing. 

You shook your head the second you realized that you had been staring his way, gulping down your anxiety as you three walked towards the boys. 

You took a second looking around his place, the bustling excitement of the ones entering the party, the cheers of everyone dancing, gossiping and making out in each corner, the deep scent of alcohol lingering in the air and a group of people playing beer pong at the farthest end of the kitchen. 

The smell of alcohol suddenly left your system as the scent of an expensive perfume infiltrated your senses, almost intoxicating your body. You turned to your right to see that you had now reached the place where Jay, Yeonjun, Beomgyu and Taehyun were previously dancing, and currently greeting you all, you being quick to smile at them. 

However the scent belonged to no other than Jay, who stood right by your side, eyes widening and double taking when he realized that it was you indeed, almost as if he couldn’t believe that you’d leave your room and study for a party. He was staring so intensely, it gave you goosebumps, your will not being strong enough to look up at him. 

At that very moment, Yeonjun took your name in delight, mouth open in surprise seeing you at his party. Being the friendliest person to exist, he didn’t think twice before pulling you towards his taller frame and giving you a hug full of happiness, making you laugh and pat his back in return. 

Through this whole process, Jay’s eyes didn’t flicker away from you even once. 

If Yeonjun was friendly, then Taehyun was respectful, he gave you a high five as the former spoke up about how you look beautiful, causing a shy smile to grace your face. Beomgyu was the epitome of shamelessness, his goofy smirk was enough to make you laugh. 

“You look so hot, baby,” he said, twirling a strand of your hair between his fingers. This caused a loud smack to land on his back, a yelp leaving his mouth as Karina watched him, amused, “stop flirting with her you idiot.” 

All the greetings were exchanged, however, you didn’t look at Jay even once, mentally saying it was for your own betterment. 

“Uhm, Yeonjun,” you said, grabbing his attention, “I’m thirsty, where’s water?” You asked, seeing how the kitchen was full of booze with no sign of water. 

He nodded, pointing at the back area of the room, where you saw boxes full of water bottles, you excused yourself and slowly made your way towards that area, making sure not to bump into dancing bodies that overpowered the room. 

Grabbing one bottle from the box, you uncapped it and gulped the water down, till you realized that someone was standing right beside you, your hand twisting the cap back on the bottle and turning to look at him, almost missing how a drunk guy was accidentally going your way. 

Within a second, a big hand encased your waist and pulled you into his chest, almost bumping you, timely saving you from being crashed into the drunken guy. 

“You alright?” Jay asked, face full of concern and you looked at him, gulping when you comprehended the situation. 

“Oh, yes. I’m good, thank you,” you spoke out, causing his expression to turn into one full of amusement. 

Your eyes averted away from his exposed chest, soothing out your little dress which also showed a generous amount of skin, your heart suddenly beating faster than usual. 

He bit his lip, eyes seemingly sharper than ever before a lazy smile took over his lips, “why? No greetings, no hugs for your enemy?” He asked, referring to the big hug Yeonjun had sheathed you in. 

“Why? You wanted one?” You asked, finally looking up at him, trying your hardest not to let your eyes waver. 

He leaned closer, “of course, darling, I was waiting for one,” he said, confidence never once faltering. 

“Don’t call me that,” you let out, cheeks heating up. 

His face shone under the dim lights, giving you the uncalled opportunity to observe his features more intimately, it was the first time you noticed him having a conch piercing. 

“Fair enough, then what do I call you? Princess? Sweetheart? Kitten? Doll?” He listed out, making sure to raise his one eyebrow while he did so, his voice getting generously deeper with each word. 

“I—” you were rendered speechless with the height of his shamelessness tonight, shaking your head and walking away from him, yet he was faster to grab your arm and spin you around, closer to him again. 

The coldness of his rings juxtaposed his warm hands, sending a wave of shiver down your spine, your eyes met his dark ones that stared at you with such intensity. 

It didn’t last long as a laugh bubbled up Jay’s throat, lips stretching into a smile while he took a second to chuckle at your shocked state, causing you to finally breathe at your realization. 

It was simply a joke from his side. 

A joke that efficiently resulted in you being flustered and concerned at his behaviour, but of course, he most definitely would not flirt with you on purpose. 

You scoffed, “you’re insufferable.”

“C’mon, it’s so fun to tease you,” he smiled, eyes shining even more when he saw you pout unconsciously. 

“Haha so fun,” you muttered dryly, wondering if you should have just studied back at your apartment instead. 

He found it endearing, reaching his hand out to tuck a loose strand of your hair at the back of your ear, “you look really pretty tonight, Y/n,” he said, catching you off guard. 

Regardless of his jokes from before, his face displayed earnestness, “you should come out more often, everyone loves having you around,” he spoke up. 

You gulped, “that’s sweet of you to say, thanks, Jay.” You looked around, really not being able to hold eye contact with him, especially when he looked like an alluring piece of meat. 

It was as if you both were not present in the party, simply talking in a secluded area, it made you acknowledge the fact that you had to get back to your friends. 

Not to mention, you had to save yourself from Jay’s comments which were not offering much to help your poor heart.

“I think I should look for others,” you awkwardly let out. 

“If you think I’m letting you go without getting my hug then you’re wrong,” he spoke up, brows raised in expectation. 

You sighed, stepping closer to him, his scent engulfing you as his strong arms wrapped around your waist and your body felt as if it was burning. 

Your cheek rested on his chest as he bent down slightly to whisper, “welcome to the party, love.”

As if his other sentences weren’t enough, he just had to drop a last one to render you speechless. 

With that, he dropped his hand, letting you go in search of your friends with a slight smile on his face, causing you to walk away faster, but before you could walk away far, you turned back to see him touching his face and fanning it, making you wonder if he felt stuffy. 

You tried to find Karina, only to see her being indulged in a deep conversation with the guy she had mentioned she found cute, so you didn’t wish to disturb her, as for Yeji, you spotted her in the kitchen, making out with someone you didn’t know, again, leaving you to fend for yourself through the party. 

You walked towards the kitchen, grabbing a fresh red cup and pouring beer into it, just then a voice calling your name captured your attention. 

“Y/n,” he spoke up. 

Na Jaemin, he was one of the new students in your major, he was also the student your professor assigned you to look after as he was new and would require help from the students who are good and his subject. 

He sported a black button up with jeans, his arms looking buff in his outfit. 

“You look beautiful,” he smiled, showing his perfect set of pearls, which made you smile back at him, shyly, “hang out with us?” He asked, pointing at his friends. 

“Thank you, I would love to do that really, but I think I need a little air right now,” you softly explained and he nodded, telling you that he’d be there in case you wished to join them. 

The slight breeze paired with the luminous stars automatically made you want to get out of the hall, and nearby the pool area, where you settled down on a chair near the empty picnic table. 

It felt surreal, you were so far away from your family, actually investing your time and trying your hardest to do well in university. You missed them, and you missed being with someone who’d show you love and care. 

On the other hand, you were scared of falling for someone again. 

You took a sip of your drink, staring at the illuminated pool water, it looked cold. Your right leg started shaking involuntarily, a sign of anxiousness as you spiralled into intrusive thoughts again.

But not for long, as you turned to see Jay sitting down next to you. 

“Do you know stalking is a crime?” You asked, finally looking at him, maybe it was the alcohol which gave you confidence to do so. 

“And so is sitting alone at a party,” he said, not missing a beat. 

You sighed, “it’s just pretty out here, and it lacks a myriad of sweaty bodies, of course,” you chuckled. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, seeing your leg shaking, his warm hand coming to rest on your knee, sending a wave of shock through you. 

You looked at his hand and then up at him, “I was thinking of home,” you told him after a minute. 

“Do you miss it?” He asked softly. 

You wondered how he switched from being flirty to soft so seamlessly, you bickered with him yet it was always playful. He called you his enemy yet it was just a playful attempt to befriend you. 

You were just friendly rivals in the end, and it was slightly hard to tolerate him, but you managed, and so you told him. 

“I do at times, but at the same time I’m glad to be learning to be independent and trying my best to do better in life,” you mumbled, “I’m also really sleepy,” you let out, making him laugh softly. 

“I’m gonna head back to the apartment actually, I can take you along if you’d like that,” he offered and you frowned. 

“Why are you going back so early?” You asked, frowning. 

“I’ve been hanging around his place the whole day so I can’t exactly say that it’s early,” he explained and you nodded, texting your friends to let them know you’re heading back. 

It wasn’t as if you didn’t like it there, you simply had to prepare yourself for the first day of your part time job at the convenience store tomorrow, so you decided to catch up on sleep. 

Jay guided you towards his car and it was the first time you sat gunshot, Jay leaned forward towards your side, face close to yours as your breath hitched, “here,” he said, putting on your seatbelt for you. 

You lost count of the times your heartbeat rose tonight, you silently cursed yourself for falling for his tricks, reminding yourself that it’s nothing but a friendly gesture. 

Midway your ride back, your eyes closed as you drifted into slumber. 

Jay looked your way, a small smile on his face when he saw you asleep. He made sure not to turn on music or talk as he knew you felt sleepy. 

He parked his car, looking your way for a second longer than usual, noticing how you did your eye liner differently for the night before he shook his head and woke you up, letting you know that you had reached the apartment. 

“Good night, Jay,” you smiled at him, not forgetting to thank him for the ride, to which he smiled back. 

“Good night, love,” he whispered as you got in your apartment and shut the door. 

He simply couldn’t understand why he felt happy, it was a normal day for him. Maybe teasing you does make it better for him. 

You on the other hand were relieved that you’d get to sleep and you’d be able to escape the devil for a while.

What you didn’t know was that he won’t leave you alone even in your sleep. 

The trip was two weeks away and it was finally something you were looking forward to after a long time, knowing that you would be going to the beach which was near the resort as given in the itinerary, which was provided to everyone today. 

You loved beaches, the fact that land and water met to form such a beautiful scenery was enough to make you adore it. 

Leaving the university as soon as the classes got over, you reached the confectionary store near your apartment for the first day of your job. The timings were flexible too as you would have to work after your classes ended and till 10 PM at night. 

Your coworker taught you the basics of handling everything, it was rush hour around the time you started working but it got slower by the time you were finishing your job. 

“Welcome,” you greeted as you heard the door open, it was something you had to do upon the arrival of customers. 

What you didn’t expect was to see Jay there, looking right at you in surprise and you couldn’t do much but cry at your luck. He was everywhere. 

“Since when do you work here?”  He asked, grabbing some energy drinks and lollipops. 

“I started today,” you told him, biting your lip when you saw two high school girls giggling, looking at him. 

Irritating. 

“Ah, that’s why I haven’t seen you around,” he hummed, paying for his things, his fingers brushing against yours as he handed you the money. 

“Are you a regular here?” You asked nonchalantly, wondering if you’d have to run into him daily for the next two weeks. 

“Why? Want to get rid of me that fast?” He leaned on the counter, looking at you with a teasing smile, “is that how you treat the ones who help you?” He asked, referring to last night when he drove you back. 

You rolled your eyes, “yes, you can leave now, sir,” you fake smiled, amusing him yet again. 

He placed one lollipop in front of you, “don’t stay here too late, and to answer your question, yes I’m a regular,” he spoke up, exiting the shop with a wink. 

You gulped down, looking at the lollipop and groaning, if he kept doing this then you’ll be in deep trouble. Jay walked back home with a satisfied smile on his face. He, in fact, had never visited that store before, being a regular was a lie. 

However, he sure had a reason to be a regular now. 

It wasn’t a lie when Jay told you he would come back, because he did. Each day.  

You didn’t think he would come back the next day, but he was there, right at 9 PM, just like a day before, but this time he sat down and had noodles, it wasn’t as bothersome as the store was empty and he readily discussed the test paper with you. 

Another thing you noticed about him was that he pouted in concentration, which made you smile at his adorable habit. Discussing study topics was the only time you both were civil and serious with each other. 

And yet again, he left a candy for you to eat for the night. 

You were not sure what Jay was up to, but you unconsciously started looking forward to seeing him in the store. With two exams left, you did not expect Jay to come to the store as you assumed that he would study at home, yet he kept his promise and came to buy a few energy drinks, settling down and studying for a while there itself. 

It made you wonder how he was so committed to coming to this place each day. He did see that you were busy tending to the customers, while also having a book in front of you at the counter. 

You were having difficulties understanding this one topic and you asked Jay for help, who despite being your rival, provided you with flash cards and his notes, staying till ten while studying with you. 

It felt normal to have him around the store, you barely realized that one week had already passed by, and in a week, you were going to give your last exam for the semester and leave for the trip on the next day, Jay had searched all about that place and made sure to tell you about the famous delicacies and tourist attractions. 

Keeping that as motivation in your mind, you answered the questions Jay asked you as practice while you were closing the shop, “here’s the last one,” he said, asking you the question. 

Your face lit up with realization and you answered it in a beat, causing his smile to grow along with yours, you jumped as he told you how each one of your answers were correct and before you could stop yourself, you were hugging him. 

He freezed, not expecting a hug from you but reciprocated it almost instantly, his heart skipping a beat without him realizing it. The smile was still evident on your face when you broke the hug, “fuck! Sorry I got too excited,” you apologized sheepishly. 

It was rare to see you express your emotions so freely, you were always timid and shy around everyone, but he was glad to see you come out of your shell slowly. He also noticed that you shook your leg less while attending the customers, overcoming your anxiety. 

You walked back to your apartment together after you closed the shop, still discussing the exam for tomorrow. 

“Listen, Jay,” you called out his name before he got inside the door. 

You were quick to take out a lollipop from your bag and place it in his hand, smiling and saying, “thank you for today, good night, I know you will do amazing tomorrow,” you assured him and got inside your apartment before he could reply. 

He bit his lower lip to contain his smile as he stared at the lollipop in his hand. In little time, he got used to spending time around you, however it was the first time that you had looked so happy around him, not to mention that you gave him a lollipop too. 

He definitely had to do well in the exam now. 

The cafeteria was bustling with excited chatter from the student body, half of which indulged in discussing about the exam that ended a few minutes ago, the other half cheered about the upcoming trip, it’s planning and looking forward to it. 

Majority of the students opted not to think about the last exam for now, and your group was the one which indulged in the latter conversation. 

Karina had planned everything, she would pick you and Yeji tomorrow morning for a shopping spree so you won’t have to miss your part time shift, and you agreed as you didn’t have any swimwear with you, and you desperately needed new clothes for the trip. 

Your eyes travelled the expanse of the cafeteria but you didn’t see Jay anywhere, which was unusual as he always made sure to sit and have lunch with you all. 

Yeji was quick to notice your wandering eyes, a small smirk on her lips as she observed you doing so but she said nothing, sipping on her drink as she indulged you back into the conversation. 

This exam went better than your previous ones, automatically lifting up your mood as you got ready for your work. You also wondered if you should get your nails done before the trip along with shopping. 

The store was busier than usual, making you and your coworker work even faster, she even stayed back an hour just to help you before handing it over to you, for which you were grateful. 

It was no later than 7 PM when you heard the door opening, Jay coming into your vision, surprising you as he usually visited at a later hour. 

“Hey, how’d your exam go and where were you?” You asked before you could stop yourself, causing a smirk to grow on his face. 

“Why? Missed me?” He asked, laughing when you rolled your eyes and ignored him while restocking the shelf. 

“My parents had come to visit me, I’ve to go and have dinner with them,” he spoke up after a minute and you realized how it was the first time he opened up and mentioned his family to you. 

You turned around to see that he looked bothered, “that sounds nice, do they live nearby?” You asked, noticing his expression. 

“They live in Seoul too, yes,” he nodded, then shaking his head and looking at you, “how’d your exam go?” He asked you, seeing your face lighting up as you told him about how well it went, also thanking him for his notes with a soft smile. 

“Glad to help my enemy,” he whispered softly, patting your head and leaving. 

You stuttered, shocked with his sudden action, calling his name, “wait, are you not getting anything today?” You asked, wondering why he came all the way here.  

“I already got what I wanted,” he smiled, leaving you standing in the middle of the shop, speechless. 

It was hard for you to focus on working after he left, it wasn’t unusual for him to say such things out of the blue, yet it was getting harder for you to control your heart whenever he said anything. 

“You’re pouting,” Yeji said as you both sat down to study at night. 

“What?” You looked up at her. 

“You spend so much time with him, it was about time you started picking up his mannerisms,” she said as it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. 

You had the exact idea of what she was talking about.

You weren’t sure how but you too had started pouting softly while studying and concentrating on a topic, just like Jay. You didn’t even know until Yeji pointed it out, causing your cheeks to heat up, embarrassment flooding in. 

More than that, you were slightly worried thinking about him, noticing how he looked unsettled and bothered when he visited the shop. 

You wondered if he was okay. 

“Do you like him?” Yeji asked, “you literally never talk to any other guy, it’s just him,” she added. 

“Doesn’t mean that I like him,” you said, not looking at her but she was quick to grab your chin to make you look right into her eyes. 

“Say it then, say it you don’t find him attractive,” she ordered you. 

You huffed, closing your eyes with a sigh and opening them to see Yeji waiting for your answer with a knowing smile. 

“Okay, Yes! Yes he is good looking and fun to be around but I don’t like him,” you said, admitting out loud what you were trying to suppress all this while. 

“Knew it,” she winked, “loosen up, babe, he’s a nice guy, it won’t hurt to have fun with him, I’ve seen how you both look at each other.” 

“Now you’re being delusional,” you commented with a laugh, but also trying to register her words. 

You knew it would hurt if only you would be the one to fall for him. What if he doesn’t even like you as a friend? A myriad of questions swamped your mind but even then, you could not deny that you had been thinking of him more than you’d like to admit. 

Shopping with the girls proved to be fruitful as they successfully helped you take your mind off Jay, moreover, you convinced both of them to get their nails done with you. The need to pamper yourself in the midst of exams and the chaos of the excitement of the trip was necessary, as it helped in preventing your breakdowns and overloads. 

You reached back home tired, yet you had to get ready for work, you didn’t have to work for much longer, just a few more days. The shop was emptier than ever, and you had another hour before your shift ended. Your eyes felt heavy, you hadn’t been getting much sleep as you devoted your nights to studying, you wanted that internship at all costs. 

You rested your head on your folded arms as you waited for your shift to end, however, you didn’t expect sleep to take over your senses in the next few minutes, and soon, you drifted into the dreamland. 

“Sure! Come again.” A cheerful voice woke you up from your nap, eyes adjusting to the light as you found Jay standing next to you. 

That was enough to drive your sleepiness away, you stood up in alarm, “fuck! Did I actually sleep here?” You groaned, “and weren’t there customers here? God did they go away—” you panicked. 

“Calm down, I took care of it,” he said, holding your hand to make you listen to him, “you should sleep more, love.” 

There it was again, that term of endearment paired with your hand in his, it did stray your focus away from your work to him. 

“But—I’m sorry you had to do it on my behalf, I’m so embarrassed,” you whined. 

“Shh.” He put his finger on your lips to stop your rant, “see your shift is over and your coworker is right there,” he said, pointing out at the entryway door of the store from where she was just about to enter. 

Jay could have sworn you looked like a little kid as he talked, but once he looked at your face, he figured out it wasn’t just sleep deprivation, you actually looked exhausted, as if you were overworking yourself. 

You on the other hand froze when his finger touched your lips, “Jay—” you tried to say and he stared at you intensely. 

“Have you been resting at all?” He asks, frowning, “let’s go, you should get some sleep in your bed,” he decides, not letting you speak as he grabs your bag for you and looks your way. 

“I’m fine! You don’t have to hold it for me,” you tried to tell him yet he didn’t budge, so you decided to talk to him while walking. 

“Okay, but have you been sleeping?” You asked, falling in step with him. 

“Of course, I have,” he said. 

“Your dark circles say otherwise,” you pointed out, causing him to stop and look at you. 

“I have dark circles?” He asked, and he almost looked comical to you. 

A laugh left your mouth, “they aren’t too dark, you don’t have to worry, Park,” you told him, placing your hand on his cheek and tracing the under eye skin softly, “right there,” you said. 

He nodded while still looking at you, he bit his lip unconsciously and started walking with you by his side. 

He was relieved as you fortunately failed to notice the red blush creeping up his cheeks and ears. 

Jay was right, you were overworking yourself, it got worse when you woke up with a mild fever on the day of your exam, not to mention it was the last day of your period too, which provided the absolute worst time for you. During the time of your month, you were blessed with having no pain, no cramps, however, the last day was always the one which left you crying in pain. 

You had no choice but to take medication and get up, you also had work, the last day of work to be precise, which you couldn’t miss. Medicines were important as you were leaving for the trip tomorrow, your suitcase on your bed was the reminder for that. 

“Babee,” Yeji frowned, “take this and are you sure you’ll be okay at night?” She asked, concerned as she had to go and meet her aunt at night, her plan was to reach university tomorrow from her aunt’s place. 

“I’ll be okay, you go and have fun,” you provided her with an assuring smile. 

“Call me if anything happens, okay?” She said and you nodded, grateful for having such an amazing friend. 

The medicines were helpful in containing your pain for half of the day, your exam going by smoothly as you poured out everything you had studied, then heading directly to the store to finish up your work as soon as possible.

The pain had died down yet the fever didn’t subside. You couldn’t do much but wish for it to get better by tomorrow, even after this, you did your best and greeted customers with a smile. Your coworker helped you by taking over for a while as you rested in the staff room area. 

However your rest was short lived. 

“Y/n,” your coworker, Yerin, called out your name with a face full of panic. 

“Yerin? Are you alright?” You asked, worried, standing up. 

She shook her head, “it’s my grandma, I have to leave early tonight, I know you’re not well but can you please take over till one? I’ll ask Miyeon to come and take your shift early, please?” She asked, eyes watering. 

“Go, I’ll take care of it,” you assured her as you thought that her situation was more serious than yours. 

“I owe you big time,” she said, rushing out of the store and you returned to tend to the customers. 

What surprised you more was that Jay didn’t visit the store this particular day, you were sure he would come by to pick up snacks for the trip, yet he didn’t show up. 

You couldn’t wait to get back home and rest anymore, it was past midnight now, and you sighed in relief when you saw Miyeon entering and taking over the shift. 

Your fever still hadn’t gone and you wondered if you should be taking a cab instead of a ten minute walk back to your apartment. Getting out of the shop, you saw Jay getting out of his car, your eyes widening, wondering why he was out at such an hour. 

“Jay?” You asked. 

“Get in,” he said, grabbing your bag and you followed him wordlessly. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked, getting in the car. 

“I came by earlier and overheard you talking with your friend,” he said nonchalantly, “you shouldn’t stay out this late,” he murmured, his eyes not meeting yours.

He leaned in closer, finally looking at you as he grabbed the seatbelt and put it on for you, “here,” he whispered, putting his hand on your forehead, his frown deepening, “you have fever, let’s get you home, you should rest, Y/n.” He didn’t wait for your reply, starting the car and driving. 

You stayed silent, mostly because you were stunned by his actions, also as you felt under the weather, wanting to get in comfort of your bed again. 

You got back in no time, Jay wordlessly grabbed your hand as you got into the lift for your floor, you saw his lip bitten, something he did when he was deep in thoughts. 

He took the keys from you and helped you in the apartment, “do you need help?” He asked as you got into the bathroom to take your makeup off and change. 

Your cheeks burned hot with his question, your body already hot with fever, “n—no!” You let out, getting out in your comfortable sweatpants to see Jay with medicines and water in his hand, his face displayed exhaustion, yet he was here, helping you get in bed. 

“I’m so sorry you had to do all this, Jay,” you said as Jay sat down next to you on bed, “you really should get back and sleep too, we have to get up early in the morning,” your voice came out soft as your eyes threatened to close shut. 

Jay couldn’t leave like that, he was feeling uneasy ever since he heard you were unwell and still working, although he knew that you won’t budge until you complete your shift, and so he came to pick you up instead. 

“Don’t worry about me, just go to sleep, love,” he whispered. 

Your eyes were closed as you spoke your next words, drifting into dreamland while you mindlessly asked him, “do you really see me as a friend?” 

However you weren’t awake to hear his response. 

The constant buzzing noise resulted in you waking up, you stirred in your sleep, opening one eye with a groan. A scream left your mouth when you noticed that you weren’t alone, but it was Jay who was still sleeping right next to you. 

Your voice startled him enough to wake up, “Y/n?” He said mindlessly, touching your forehead to check your temperature now, “no fever now,” he smiled, groaning and getting up from your bed. 

That wasn’t your concern at the given moment, you grabbed your phone to check the time and it was a few minutes past twelve, which was way past the time allotted to you to reach the university for the trip. 

“Fuck, oh no,” you panicked, looking at Jay, who looked back at you with the same expression as you both cried out together. 

“We missed the bus!” 

You saw your phone ring again, it was a Yeji, “Y/n! Oh, finally! Where have you been? I’ve been calling you for hours!” She exclaimed, the background noise indicating that she was in the bus, which would have left four hours ago. 

“Yeji, I missed the bus—I had a fever and I overslept and Jay was here, we both missed the bus!” You almost cried out and she asked you to take a deep breath. 

“Get ready,” Jay spoke on the other hand, entering your room again. 

“What?” You breathed out, looking at his messy hair, which still made him look handsome, his voice a tone deeper than usual as he had just woken up. 

You shook your head, listening to what he was saying, “I talked to Mrs. Min and told her we had an emergency so we couldn’t catch the bus, so instead, we’ll be going together in my car,” he smirked, “guess you’re stuck with me, princess,” he winked, getting back to his usual self as you stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Y/n? Y/n!” Yeji called out your name, making you realize that you were still on a call, and you filled her in with the latest information that you would be travelling with Jay. 

Soon after the call, you got out of the bed, feeling way better than yesterday as you showered in record time, getting ready and grabbing your luggage just to see Jay getting out of his apartment too. 

He was clad in a denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up, black jeans and replacing his usual specs were a pair of black sunglasses. You averted your eyes, not wanting to be disrespectful and stare at him. 

“Are you sure we can do this?” You asked, knowing that it was a long journey. 

“Of course, we can. Oh hold on,” he spoke, his fingers coming in contact with your cheeks softly as he picked up your fallen piece of eyelash and placed it on the back of your hand. 

“Make a wish,” he smiled, causing a smile to grow on your face as well. 

You closed your eyes, choosing your wish very carefully, as you manifested it to come to true. Soon, you opened your eyes and blew air on the lash, causing it to fly away, taking your wish along. 

You didn’t notice his stare on you as you did so, nor did you know that your lash didn’t only carry your wish, but his too, which he made alongside you. 

“Let’s go,” you both nodded, pulling your respective suitcases with you. 

You tried to act normal, but in reality, you were anxious beyond words. Reason being, you had to be alone with Jay in a car for the whole day, that is, if you catch up to the bus on time. 

Jay seemed rather casual about it, not once mentioning last night and you slowly tried to count the number of times he had selflessly helped you, he missed the bus because of you  and yet, he didn’t complain about it once. 

“You really want me to do everything for you, yeah?” He raised his brows, coming closer again, causing your breath to hitch. 

He maintained eye contact as he dragged the seatbelt into the buckle, chuckling when he saw you looking at him with wide eyes. 

“Cute,” he whispered to himself, making sure you didn’t hear it. 

It was the third time he had done that. You always forgot to buckle up and he always did it for you. Your heart was pumping crazy and it was only the start of the trip. 

He started the car, soon driving seamlessly as he gave you his phone to select the song to play from his personal playlist. If not for the music, the car was silent. You gasped when you felt his fingers on your knee, which you did not realize was shaking, his hand successfully stopping it from doing so. 

“What’s on your mind, princess?” He asked, looking straight at the road. 

You bit your lower lip, ignoring the nickname as you said, “I just wanted to say thank you for last night, it’s because of me we missed the bus—”

He interrupted you when he realized that you were going to blame yourself for the situation. The situation he was happy to be in. 

“Now you’re going all sappy on me,” he teased, “and I bet you would’ve done the same for me, right?” He asked, looking your way for a split second, feeling proud when he saw a smile ghosting your lips. 

“Yeah, I would have.” Your answer was supposed to be a joke yet you knew that it had underlying truth to it. 

Jay took his hand off your knee to steer the wheel, instantly making your skin feel cold at the lack of his warmth. Looking his way, you observed how effortless his driving seemed, he was confident and someone you could rely on. You couldn’t help but notice how sharp his jawline was, and a little heart-shaped birthmark decorated his neck, causing you to smile. 

Reminding yourself to stop staring, you decided to look out of the window. The weather was rather pleasant today. You noticed the presence of clouds in the sky along with the wind blowing, which swayed the trees just enough for them to look like they were dancing. 

Jay noticed your smile and comfortable state, however he was still worried about your health and wanted you to rest throughout the car ride. 

“Do you feel better today?” He asked. 

“Oh—yes I do! I just don’t do well on certain days,” you trailed off, wondering if you should talk to him about your period. 

“That time of the month?” He asked casually, not wanting you to feel awkward. 

Just then your gaze fell on his arm, veins popping out as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, distracting you enough to miss his question. 

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked again, embarrassed. 

He chucked, repeating his question and you nodded, “my last days are always painful, i don’t usually get out of my bed but we had an exam so, yeah,” you told him and he nodded. 

He cleared his throat, “so I grabbed the painkillers and other medicines just in case you feel sick again, let me know if you do, yeah?” He asked. 

Your stomach erupted into butterflies at his gesture. You knew you were in trouble, and to distract yourself, you decided to tease him instead. 

“Worried about me, Park?” You asked with a teasing smile. 

“How can I not worry about my princess?” He said, taking the lead and playing the same game with you. 

“Do you give nicknames to all the girls you meet?” You asked him, looking out of the window to hide your face. 

“No, only the pretty ones,” he smirked. 

You stilled, wondering how he said such things so coolly. 

“You can’t just say that!” You exclaimed, knowing well that your cheeks were burning just because of his words as you smacked his arm lightly. 

“Hey! Don’t abuse the driver!” He faked disbelief before letting out a laugh. 

It was easy to fall into a conversation with him after, bickering over the sound of music as he drove you towards the resort smoothly. 

The sun was setting by the time you woke up, realizing that the car was stopped, you opened your eyes to find Jay’s gaze fixated on your face, eyes reverting when he saw you waking up. 

“I was just gonna wake you up,” he said, rubbing his nape and pointing at the burger joint you had stopped at. 

You stretched your arms, frowning, “you’ve been driving all day, aren’t you tired, Jay?” You asked.

“Don’t worry about me, we can rest for sometime and eat here,” he said, urging you to get out of the car. 

“There's a washroom over there,” he pointed at the sign, “you can go and freshen up, I’ll wait for you in the restaurant.” 

You nodded, getting in the washroom and doing your business, you looked dishevelled as you slept in the car, going to the sink to wash your face. 

Never in a million years you would have thought that you’d be travelling with Jay like this, he was nothing but a rival in your eyes, maybe, just maybe a friend too but ever since that party and his contestant visits to the store, you started feeling differently, as if you were closer than before, he helped you out on numerous occasions and took care of you without any say. 

You wondered if he did so for all his friends. 

Jay couldn’t help but stare at the entrance, waiting for you as he had already placed the order for both of your meals. It was finally when he saw you coming towards the restaurant area, a smile took place on his face. He waved his hand to grab your attention, and your eyes lit up in recognition when you saw him, coming towards him. 

In those twenty one seconds of you making your way towards the table he was sitting at, he observed a few things; you had let your hair down, which was previously in a ponytail. The bracelet you were wearing was not on your wrist anymore, meaning that you had removed it. You had reapplied your clear lip oil as well, which was strawberry scented. 

He was glad to see you cheerful even after the long journey. Your batchmates had already reached the destination and you were four hours away from it still. It was getting dark already and you wondered if you would be able to reach on time, especially with the weather changing into a cloudy one, indicating that it might rain soon. 

“Hey, where’s the menu card?” You asked, sitting right in front of him. 

“Hold on,” he whispered, standing up slightly to get his hand over the table and wipe the corner of your lip, where the lip oil had spread, causing your eyes to flutter shut at the feeling. 

“All done,” he smiled, and you opened your eyes again, looking down at your hands, “oh and I placed the order already, it’ll be here any second now,” he let out, and you tilted your head. 

“But I didn’t order yet,” you said in confusion. 

Just then the attendant came over with a tray, placing it on your table and wishing you a happy meal as she flashed a friendly smile before leaving. 

If you thought Jay was full of surprises uptill now then you were proven right as he continued to surprise you by ordering your favourite drink and the flavour of pasta, a noise of disbelief left your mouth as you looked up at his expression of satisfaction. 

“Are you really a stalker?” You asked, mouth still open in amazement. 

“Stalker? No. I’m just someone who observes things well,” he pointed out, urging you to eat while conversing. 

“Right. Then how did you forget and bring the wrong drink for Yeonjun a few days back?” You raised your brow, tasting the pasta which was scrumptious as it melted perfectly on your taste buds. 

You were happy you earned extra cash by working because you don't want Jay to pay for your meal too, he’s already doing so much by driving you both. 

“That was one time!” He argued, cheeks red as you laughed at him, giving him another example of when he forgot to bring the right flavour of ice cream for Beomgyu. 

The dinner was full of smiles and comfort, you couldn’t lie that you liked seeing him blush and bicker with you, it was something he incorporated in your conversations at the most unusual times, doesn’t matter if the conversation consists of him flirting with you, or studying with you, or just talking with you, he had to make it funny at all times. 

“I’m paying,” you said as you asked for the bill. 

“Dinner’s on me, princess,” he said, holding your hand which was busy taking out money. 

You frowned, “you’re already driving, Jay, it’s the least I could do,” you said, and he smiled, turning away for a second before he nodded. 

“You think too much,” he said as he saw you paying, “thank you for the meal, love.”

In the past two minutes, he had used two of the nicknames which sent you into a frenzy and you tried your best to not look affected. Jay knew that you’d feel uneasy if he paid for this as well, which would lead to you feeling anxious, and so he figured it would be better to let you pay for this one. 

The journey was comfortable and you were only two hours away when the first raindrop fell on the windshield of Jay’s car, causing him to cuss out in disdain, knowing it would be hard to drive in rain. 

To your luck, you spotted a hotel after ten minutes of driving in the rain. You thought it would get better but you were proven wrong when you heard thunder accompany the rain, causing you to flinch with fear. 

You detested thunderstorms. Your fingers fidgeted as you closed your eyes shut, trying to focus on the music instead of the sound outside. 

Jay noticed your state of fear and decided it would be best for you to stop and spend the night at the hotel instead of travelling in such harsh conditions. The wind got stronger and it was hard to see the road anymore. 

Jay took the turn and gave the car for valet parking, grabbing your hand and taking out the luggage as you looked at him in question, your eyes looked tired while your lip trembled. 

“We’re staying here for the night, at least till the rain stops,” he tells you as he takes you to the lobby. 

“Jay, no! That’s—it’ll be so costly,” you said and he squeezed your hand. 

“It’s fine, let me take care of it,” he said, talking to the attendant. 

“I can’t let you do that,” you whispered, grabbing his arm and he looked down at your body pressed against his. 

He bit his lip, nodding at the attendant before turning back towards you. 

“Just trust me, love. We can’t be out there in such weather, it’ll be okay,” he said, grabbing the room card and walking towards the lift, “also, we’ll have to share the room,” he spoke out awkwardly, “it’s holiday season so all other rooms were booked.” 

“T—that’s fine,” you nodded, leaving his hand which you were holding subconsciously, “only for a few hours, right?” 

“Only for a few hours,” he nodded, getting out of the lift and guiding you towards your room, where your luggage had been kept already. 

The sound of thunder didn’t reach you anymore and you finally started breathing normally again. Jay was quick to call your professor and inform her about your situation, and her being ever so understanding, asked you to reach by the morning, meaning that you’ll have to wake up early to make it on time. 

“You can take the bed, Jay, you’ve been driving all day,” you spoke softly as you saw him rummage through his clothes. 

“No can do. You need to sleep well, and so you’ll take the bed,” he said. 

You tried to argue back as you got your comfortable nightwear out from your suitcase, which consisted of pink shorts and a shirt. Jay let you take a shower first and you spent all your time thinking about how you’ll have to spend another night with him, however, this time you’ll be in your senses. Heat creeped up your body as you tried to shake your thoughts away. 

“It’s just Jay, it’s only him,” you whispered to yourself while drying your hair using the hair dryer provided in the bathroom amenities. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, giving yourself a look of motivation before you went out and saw Jay casually sitting and using his phone. 

“You can shower now,” you said, getting out of the bathroom and sitting on the bed. 

Jay looked at your endearingly sweet outfit, his automatic reaction of biting his lower lip commenced as he tried his best to not to pull your smaller figure into a hug. Instead, he hurried up to take a shower. 

You texted Yeji and Karina in the group chat, letting them know about your current situation and their reactions were exactly what you had expected from them both. 

Yeji: girlie you’re spending nights with jay now? 🫣

Karina: Shut up and pray he’s got protection w him 🙄

You: guys?? nothing’s gonna happen wtf? 😭

Karina: You sure? I mean, he is hot ;)

Yeji: bet she’ll drool once she sees him shirtless 🥴

You: gawd that’s NOT happening, i'm going to sleep

You kept your phone aside. The opening of the bathroom door grabbing your attention, your mouth feeling dry all of a sudden. 

Suddenly , you really wished you hadn’t looked that way. 

A gasp left your mouth as you closed your eyes, seeing as Jay was only in his black sweatpants and nothing more. Meaning, he was shirtless. 

“Oh god, Park! Put some clothes on,” you complained, eliciting laughter out of him. 

“Why? Are you shy?” He teases, coming closer as he uses a towel to soak the excess water from his hair. 

You scoffed, looking directly at him as he leaned in closer so his face was on your level, his bare arm on the bed supported his weight, which also displayed his veins. 

“Please, I’ve seen better,” you lied, as in fact, you had never seen anyone’s body as attractive as his. 

“Is that so?” He asked, amused by your answer, “may I ask who?” 

“Why do you care?” You retorted, pushing him away, touching his chest in the process, which felt rock hard against your hands. 

“If you wanted to touch me you could have just said so, princess,” he went on, his usual smirk gracing his face. 

However, all your confidence went downhill as the thunderstorms took over again, more powerful and louder than before, causing you to shut your eyes and ears as your face scrunched up in fear. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jay asked, getting on bed and grabbing your face with his big hands.

“Thunder, I—I hate it,” you let out, holding onto a pillow and whimpering into it. 

Jay panicked seeing you this way, he was quick to wrap a blanket around your body, getting his EarPods out and putting on a calming tune before he put them on for you, hugging you without any words. 

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered loud enough for you to hear and you wrapped your arms around him tighter. 

It was comforting how his one hand patted your back while the other caressed your head softly, providing everything he could to you with his actions. 

You could’ve sworn it wasn’t just because of thunder that your heart was beating out of your chest. 

He held you through it all, never once letting you go you fell asleep in his arms, his big eyes staring at you as he whispered to himself. 

“Sleep well, princess.” 

You snuggled deeper into the warmth of your pillow, humming softly as you almost felt as if you were being cuddled and pulled closer, which was successful in stirring you awake. 

For the second morning in the row, you were shocked to see a very shirtless Jay with his arms wrapped around your waist as he slept peacefully. You took a second to stare at him, he looked idyllic, his lips automatically forming a small pout whenever he was undisturbed, which looked endearing to you. 

Just as you were about to touch him, the alarm from Jay’s phone rang, which you assumed he put on right before going to sleep as you still had to reach the resort before everyone left for the museum, which was first on the itinerary for the day. 

You closed your eyes shut in panic, pretending to be asleep as you felt his arms around you tighten, which only resulted in you feeling a shiver down your spine. 

“Hmm,” he groaned, turning towards the side table as he turned off the alarm, “fuck,” he muttered, not wanting to wake up at five in the morning. 

You felt the mattress weight shifting again, and even with your eyes closed, you could feel Jay coming closer to you. His hand was gentle when he caressed your cheek as you tried your best not to freak out at the proximity and give out that you were awake. 

Lord it felt so good. 

Now, you weren’t sure if your mind was playing tricks with you or if Jay had actually called you pretty as you slept before he got up from the bed to freshen up. 

It was when you heard the bathroom door shut when you finally opened your eyes, sitting up as your chest heaved up and down, your fingers automatically reaching out to touch your cheeks, the exact spot he had touched not even two minutes ago. You wondered how long it would take for your poor heart to finally burst out if Jay kept this up. 

A groan left your mouth when you also gathered the memory of last night, the memory where you hugged his shirtless frame. You could excuse it as you were terrified because of the thunder. Right? 

Nevertheless, you got up and tried to stretch out before Jay came out of the bathroom to see you awake, his usual smile greeted you and for the first time, you gave him a shy smile back, “good morning, Jay,” you said as you rushed into the bathroom, leaving him smiling at your cuteness. 

It didn’t take you both long to get ready and check out of the hotel before you got into Jay’s car yet again. The weather had cleared out and it was still slightly dark when he started driving again, and you noticed that the road was still wet while the trees looked greener than ever with the little droplets of water all over their leaves. 

You couldn’t help but spare glances at Jay during the entirety of the drive, the sunrise only enhanced the beauty of him as you saw sun rays falling on him as he drove. His skin shone golden and he looked like pure honey in your eyes. 

“We’re here,” he announced as he turned the car to get into the driveway for the resort parking and your mouth hung open at how grand and expensive it looked just from the outside. 

“Woah,” you whispered, looking outside and then Jay excitedly. 

It all happened in a flash, him giving his car to the valet and calling your professor as you waited in the grand lobby of the hotel, wondering if all your friends were still sleeping, considering it was early in the morning. 

Mrs. Min was quick to come out, delighted to see you both finally here, “I was so worried! I hope the journey was not too rough,” she asked with concerned eyes. 

You smiled, giving Jay just a glance, “it was really comfortable and Jay was kind enough to work everything out smoothly to get us here,” you told her softly, which caused Mrs. Min to praise Jay for being the ideal student as well as a guy. 

You noticed how his ears blushed red whenever he was praised, causing you to laugh by yourself. 

“Okay so you have one hour before everyone wakes up and gathers for breakfast at the dining area! You can rest and freshen up before it all!” She mentioned. 

“What about our rooms, ma’am?” You asked awkwardly. 

“Oh right! There’s only one room available at the given moment,” she said and you felt like you were gonna pass out if a repeat of last night happened again, “so you can take that room to yourself, Y/n! As for Jay, Yeonjun will be your roommate as he’s alone in his room as of now. You know the policy, two students in one room,” she smiled as she handed you your room card, also informing that the boys have their rooms on the third floor while the girls have theirs on the second floor. 

You smiled at her, both of you bowing down as she made her way back to her own room. You could finally breathe now that you were here, and had a room all to yourself. 

“Come, I’ll walk you to your room,” Jay said when you got into the lift together. 

“Jay, you should really rest, it’s fine,” you tried to say, holding your hand up only for him to grab it. 

“Why? Tired of me already?” He asked, pulling you closer. 

You could only pray that no one sees you in this position with him. 

“I didn’t say that,” you spoke up, jumping away from him as the elevator doors opened. 

Thankfully the corridor was empty, and you walked faster to find your room, which was the last one on the right corner down the corridor. 

You turned back, looking at your feet before you said, “thank you for everything, Jay, I really can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done—” 

He stopped you from speaking further as he gently held your chin in his fingers, “actually, I can think of a few ways you can thank me,” he whispered, eyes gleaming as you noticed little specs of golden in his chocolate brown eyes. 

“What?” You asked just as gently. 

“How about we start off by a thank you hug?” His smile morphed into a smirk as he stood with his arms open. 

You bit your smile, nodding and standing on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck in a quick hug. His scent engulfed you, which you had grown to like, and you were just as quick to leave him and make a beeline towards your room. 

Meanwhile, Jay was already used to your flustered behaviour and he caught your wrist just in time to pull you in for an actual hug, his body flushed against yours as you stilled when he rested his face on your neck, his lips brushing against your skin. 

“Don’t get tired of me,” he whispered, tickling your neck. 

You stared at him with wide eyes when he stepped back with his playful smile, “we’re just getting started, princess,” he said, leaving your heart racing as he walked away to get to his room. 

You found yourself in Yeji and Karina’s shared room a few minutes after Jay left. Seeing as you had already showered, it didn’t take you much time to change into your outfit for the day, which consisted of a skirt and a top to go along with it. You didn’t forget to wear your necklace and a ring as you felt bare going out without any accessories. 

Back to your friends, they sat in front of you, half ready as they both stopped when they heard your story, looking at you in disbelief. 

“You’re trying to tell me that Jay, Park fucking Jongseong took care of you when you had fever?” Yeji asked, face looking comical with how she had applied lipstick only on the top corner of her lip. 

You nodded and opened your mouth to speak but Karina beat you to it. 

“And he remembers your favourite drink as well as food,” she hummed, midway straightening her hair. 

“Yes—” you started again, but no one let you continue. 

“He also held you to sleep when you cried because of the thunderstorm,” Yeji said, looking at Karina with teasing eyes. 

“And he hugged you!” Karina almost screamed. 

“Really, Y/n. What’s going on?” They asked, sitting closer to you. 

“Nothing,” you groaned, “I don’t fucking know,” you looked distressed. 

“Does it feel nice to have him around you?” Karina asked, being straightforward. 

Your mind backtracked to each incident and caused you to nod, “yeah, but what if he’s just being playful?” You whined. 

“Then flirt back! Don’t act shy, don’t stutter, but show him that you can do the same thing, and if possible then make him jealous, there’s no better way to find out if anyone’s interested in you than making them jealous and getting it out of them,” Yeji theorized with a smirk, knowing that she was right. 

“She’s right. You’re so pretty Y/n,” Karina sighed, looking at you softly, “you better make him work for you!” She warned as both the girls came to hug you. 

A genuine smile graced your face. You loved both of them dearly. Your smile grew even more when you decided to take up their advice and work upon it. 

You couldn’t wait to see Jay again. 

Breakfast was fulfilling as you sat with your friends and Taehyun, who was kind enough to share how Yeonjun, Beomgyu and Jay were still asleep, not caring about breakfast as the boys wanted nothing more than to catch up with their sleep. 

Professor Jung was another teacher who accompanied the students on the trip. “We’ll be leaving for the museum in one and a half hours, I hope that’s sufficient for everyone to get ready. No delays will be tolerated, kindly be on time,” he announced. 

You and your friends shrugged as you were already ready and had one and a half hours to spare. Your friends filled Taehyun up with the details of your journey, happily leaving out the parts which he shouldn’t be knowing. 

“Why didn’t he just call his driver?” Taehyun wondered out loud. 

“He’s got a driver?” You asked. 

“I mean, his parents have a driver, he could have asked for help,” he told you. 

You nodded in understanding, turning to head when you heard a voice calling your name. 

“Y/n, you’re here!” Jaemin spoke up, looking at your table for the first time, questioning himself as to how he did not see you here before. 

You wondered how he was always so cheerful, his smile never leaving his face. It was contagious of sorts, making you smile when you looked at him. 

Excusing yourself from your table, you stood up to talk to Jaemin, who seemed happy just to see you here. He took you to his table which was right beside yours as he introduced you to his friends, which was basically the group of all the students who joined mid semester. 

You greeted everyone with a smile as you sat down next to Jaemin, “excited for today?” He asked with a smile. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, “it feels so nice to be here, and did you see the beach adjoined to our resort? I can’t wait to explore that!” You told him, and he was quick to lean in and tell you more about it. 

Jay had just entered with Yeonjun and Beomgyu, all of them were not dressed up yet they looked tired, Jay in particular looked bothered as he sat down where you were previously sitting with his plate full of what looked like sausages. 

“What’s up with him?” Karina asked, nose scrunching. 

Yeonjun snorted, and Jay warned him, yet he didn’t care and continued to speak, “Jay slept for one hour and had a wet dream,” his voice was loud enough to reach your ears. 

Your eyes widened at the information, even more so when you heard Jay groan, meaning that the information was indeed true. 

Jaemin was tall enough to cover your frame as he turned to you, offering you the cupcake you had been eyeing. You took it from him with a smile, but your whole attention was on their conversation. 

Jay on the other hand, ignored all the comments and remarks Beomgyu made as his mind went back to the scene which landed him in this situation. 

From the deep subconscious of his mind, he dreamt about you, but he wasn’t going to tell anyone this, about how he touched your soft lips with his, about how his lips travelled the expanse of your body— 

Yeah, he couldn’t get the feeling of your body pressed up against his naked torso out of his head, and he knew it was wrong to think about it, especially when you were scared. 

He shook his head, cheeks red as he tried to calm down. It was the first time he had such a dream, but he was more curious about your whereabouts, his eyes travelling and scanning all the tables before he asked, “where's Y/n?” He acted nonchalant, eating the food in front of him. 

Yeji smirked, “some cute guy took her with him. Oh look! They’re talking,” she pointed at Jaemin, who sat down normally again, causing you to come into Jay’s line of vision. 

Jay finally made eye contact with you, and you noticed how red his face was still, making you wonder what he dreamt about. You passed him a small smile, which was enough for him to smile back at you, however this interaction was short lived when Jaemin grabbed your attention again. 

Jay knew he was the new student, however, he did not know his name, but seeing the way he was so friendly with you was enough to make him wonder how you got so close to him. His jaw clenched instinctively, furthermore when you laughed at a joke he made. 

Karina and Yeji observed the exchange silently, high fiving under the table. 

Deciding that it was enough, the two girls called you over and asked you to join them for photos at the lobby area, causing you to excuse yourself from Jaemin, who flashed you a charming smile while saying bye as Jay could only scoff at this. 

His expression quickly changed when you came over and noticed him, “good morning, Jay,” you said, standing behind his seat and leaning further, which allowed Jay to take a silent sniff of your perfume which was vanilla scented. 

“I’m taking this,” you pointed at the cookie which you picked up from his plate and took a small bite of while he simply stared at you as you made your way towards your friends as his eyes trailed down to look at your sleek little skirt which showed your legs. 

“Shit,” he cursed as he mindlessly drank the hot coffee, while his sole focus was you. 

It was going to be a tough day for him. 

Professor Jung had called you right before all the students started filling into the three buses as he needed assistance with the roll call, making sure no student was left behind or sneaking out somewhere. 

You were more than happy to help, seeing he was the one who offered you the internship, it was only right if you’d put up your best image in front of him. 

You checked off everyone’s name as they got into their respective buses, leaving you to be the last one to get into the bus, and to your surprise, the only spot open for you was at the last seat, in between Jay and Jaemin. 

Jay spotted you and was going to shift to sit next to Jaemin but he was faster to call you with a smile. 

Which brings you here, sitting in between them both with an awkward atmosphere. 

Noticing how the girl sitting on the other side of Jay tried her best to indulge him in a conversation made you roll your eyes, when in reality, Jay didn’t even wish to look her away but he didn’t wish to be rude either.  

You turned to look at Jaemin who was more than interested to talk about how he wished to take up a barista course just because he loved coffee. Soon, the cold air in the bus made you shiver, along with the lack of attention from Jay, who was struggling and trying his best to get out of the conversation with the other girl. 

Jaemin noticed your shivering state, “Y/n, you look cold,” he spoke out loud, taking his jacket off. 

This statement grabbed Jay’s attention and he almost started to take his own jacket off, only to see that Jaemin was faster and now your legs were covered with his jacket. 

Jay would have driven you by himself if he knew this was gonna happen, but his mood wasn’t sour for long. 

“Will you sit with me during the return trip too?” Jaemin asked you and you turned to Jay. 

Your hand automatically grabbed his arm, his body soothed with the skin contact as he looked down at you, “Jay, will we be going back together? Because I think the luggage will also take up space here and it’s a long journey back to Seoul—”

“Of course, we’re going back together, love,” he spoke, cutting you midway which made Jaemin cock his eyebrow at Jay, who only smiled at you sweetly. 

“That’s great! Can we stop by and have that pasta again, it was so good,” you asked and he nodded in a beat. 

“Anything you want.” 

The conversation was short-lived as you had arrived at the museum already. Jay was quick to get up from his seat to get rid of the girl who kept talking to him, despite him not showing a single ounce of interest. 

Since the group was big, it was divided into smaller groups so that they can follow and listen to the guides assigned to each group. Your group stuck together, however, professor Jung made sure to drag Yeonjun and Beomgyu away, knowing that they’d be the ones who’d cause trouble. 

Adding to that, it had been a solid thirty minutes of you walking and Jay was nowhere to be seen which made you wonder if he ran off with the girl from earlier. You shook the feeling away as you entered the historical arena, it was full of animal specimens, displays of natural objects such as fossils, minerals, rocks, plants, and more. 

It was highly insightful, you agreed although you felt parched with all the walking. Furthermore, you had conveniently forgotten your bottle in your room. You looked back, trying to search for Jay in other groups as you mindlessly nodded to what Karina was saying about some new series though you couldn’t find him. 

“Who are you searching for?” A deep voice spoke in your ear, successfully making you flinch at the sudden invasion. 

With a hand on your chest, you turned to look at the culprit, only for it to be Jay. 

“You scared me,” you breathed out. 

“That doesn’t answer my question,” he said. 

“Doesn’t matter,” you muttered, not wanting to admit that you were searching for him. 

He clicked his tongue, “it matters when you were looking for me, princess,” he said and you panicked, looking around to see if anyone heard him, only to find out that you had a decent distance from your group. 

“And why would I look for you? It could be someone else too,” You spoke, crossing your arms. 

“You say that as if you can think of anyone else, princess,” he smirked and your mouth opened to retort. 

Although he was quicker to shove a bottle of water in your hands, “since you’re curious, I’ll tell you where I was,” he said as he walked alongside you to catch up with the group, “I went to get water as we didn’t have any with us, I also got us a bag of snacks from the store nearby and I had to and keep it in the bus. Now here I am, right where I should be.” He winked. 

You looked at him humoured, “you’re right, you really should be in a museum,” you said. 

“For being the most handsome man ever? I guess you are right,” he smirked and you gave him a look. 

It wasn’t as if he was lying. Jay had one of the most attractive faces you had ever come across, it almost looked as if he was carved by the gods themselves. All in all, you couldn’t deny it and hence, you chose to switch the topic instead.

“Isn’t it weird how people collect random things from all over the world and put it together to call it a museum?” You said out of nowhere, getting a smile out of Jay at your unpredictability. 

It surprised him to see you being so chatty around him, opening up to him more than usual, his small smile never leaving his lips as he contributed to your thoughts, feeling proud each time he made you laugh. 

You could feel the change too. Ever since you had come to Seoul two years back, you felt like you had to be timid and composed at all times, everything was new to you, but you felt at ease around Jay, and unconsciously, you turned to look at him only to find his eyes on you.

The simple exchange made you smile and your heartbeat rose for all the right reasons. 

The next stop was the one you were actually excited for, the aquarium. 

You didn’t have to get into the bus again as the aquarium was adjoined to the museum. You hadn’t ever been to one before, it thrilled further that you’d get to experience aquatic life right in front of you. 

The blue tunnels felt soothing to your eyes, various types of fishes swimming together and you looked everywhere, not wanting to miss anything. 

Soon, your friends pulled you into clicking pictures with them, Jay being kind enough to be your photographer, when in all honesty, he did this so he could look at you longer. As amazing as the day was going for him, it was equally balanced with dismay as he saw Jaemin approaching you once again.

Does he not get tired of smiling? He wondered. 

“Oh! Can we click a picture together too?” He spoke up, causing Karina and Yeji to contain their laughter with how irritated Jay appeared to be. 

“Sure,” you spoke, smiling at the phone which Jay was holding as Jaemin stood close to you, his smile ever so radiant. 

Jay took the picture in a split second, handling his phone to Jaemin now saying, “my turn,” as he stood by you. 

You watched the whole exchange, amused at Jay’s behaviour. He was always calm, you’ve never seen him so worked up before. 

He conveniently pulled you closer, resting his hand on your waist as he smiled for the picture which Jaemin was clicking, while your cheeks heated up in this situation. 

“Done,” Jaemin sang out, making his way to you as he went on pointing at the hermit crab, telling you how they steal and switch their shells to accommodate their size as they grow up. 

However your focus was on the picture of you and Jay, it was the first picture you had clicked together and you found it adorable how he smiled at the camera while your eyes were on him instead. 

“You’re pouting,” you stated, laughing at Jay as Karina called Jaemin over, asking him to tell them the random facts instead. 

“Yeah, I don’t really like this area. Let’s go up further,” he said, taking you along with him. 

You could have sworn you never smiled this much before, he nonchalantly commented upon every fish you came across, he came closer whenever you tried to show him anything that amused you, not to mention how he stood on the opposite side of the big fish tank walls just to see you from the other end. 

Soon, the whole lot of your batchmates were swarming the tiny souvenir shop and you were busy contemplating if you should get a dolphin stuffie for your little sister, but you weren’t going to go back home anytime soon so you settled on buying a similar little keychain for her. 

That wasn’t all, you also wanted to buy a little something for Jay, but you knew he wasn’t the one to sport cute accessories. Yet, you wanted to give him this ring with a cat paw imprint on it. Without thinking much, you purchased both items and walked out with your friends. 

You were quick to pour into the bus, hoping you won’t have another awkward moment sitting with someone new but before you could think, someone grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the left side seat, which was meant for two people. 

You yelped and almost landed on Jay’s lap, “are you crazy?” You whisper-yelled at him. 

He gave you a lazy smirk as you sat down next to him, properly. 

“How’d you know, princess?” He asked and you prayed no one heard him speak yet again. 

“Well, it’s quite evident, Park,” you whispered, smiling at him sweetly. 

You held his eye contact for a few seconds before both of you burst out laughing. 

It felt pleasant as the trip was aimed at fun, and fun only. There was no burden of studies, no assignments or reports, just three days devoted to enjoyment. 

“Here,” Jay says, removing his jacket and placing it on your lap, “don’t be cold, love.”

You bit your smile yet again, “thanks, Jay. You can be sweet at times,” you joked. 

“At times?” He looked at you, incredulous. 

You laughed as he went on explaining how sweet he is at all times. 

It was safe to say that you enjoyed that bus ride. 

Dinner went by smoothly as Yeji and Karina made you sit in between them both, complaining how you had spent more than enough time apart today. 

“I’m so excited for tomorrow, like, I really love beaches,” you said and your friends nodded. 

“Yes, babe. We know, it’s the sixth time you’d said it today,” Karina pointed out and you whined. 

“Okay but you get it,” you said. 

“Of course, we do. We can’t wait to see you in your bikini too,” they winked, leaning in to whisper, “or more like, we can’t wait to see a certain someone lose his shit after seeing you.” 

You rolled your eyes, “that’s not gonna happen,” you said. 

“We’ll see,” Yeji said, as if she knew exactly what was going to happen. 

The day was fulfilling. It was unusual for students to get a single room all to themselves but you weren’t complaining. It was midnight by the time you came out of the shower, in your sweatpants and a flimsy white camisole, all ready to sleep. 

Getting on the bed felt as if you had stepped on a cloud, making you chuckle out of happiness. You took a while to check up on your texts, telling your parents about your day and checking all the pictures you clicked throughout the day, which was majorly filled with sky pictures until you came across that photo of you and Jay. 

Your room’s doorbell rang at that very second, startling you as you jumped up to tiptoe towards the door, looking into the peephole to find none other than Jay standing in front of your room. 

You panicked, opening the door with wide eyes and ushering him in, “you really must be crazy! You’re not allowed to be on this floor, or in my room,” you said and he only looked at you with an adoring smile. 

“Shh, princess. I came here to give you something,” he said. 

Your eyes followed his hand which took out a dainty necklace from his pocket, a necklace with the smallest charm of a cat paw on it. You gasped softly, looking at him with excited eyes. 

“C’mere,” he said, making you stand in front of the full length mirror as gently brushed your hair to the side, his fingers grazed ever so slightly against your neck, causing you to shiver and you wondered why Jay was breathing so deeply too, his warm breath fanning your neck as he clasped the necklace securely at your nape. 

“All done,” he whispered as you looked at his reflection through the mirror. 

You turned around to face him, heart beating fast at your proximity as you fiddled with your fingers. 

“It’s so pretty,” you whispered out, “I—I actually have something for you too,” you spoke up, getting your backpack and taking out the ring which you got him, the ring with the same design as your necklace. 

His eyes shone with adornment as your tiny hand showed him the ring, “not gonna help me wear it?” He asked, teasing. 

You didn’t have it in you to look at him anymore as you grabbed his warm hands and gently slid the ring on his index finger, letting his hand go but he was quick to pull you in closer, “Y/n—” he said, but was interrupted with the bell ringing again. 

“Oh my god!” You ran to look at who was at your door. 

It was Yeji, you sighed in relief, “you’ve gotta go, Jay,” you told him as you opened the door. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Yeji asked, her shocked face soon turned into one full of amusement. 

“Nothing, I just came to wish her a good night,” Jay spoke up smoothly, turning to you, “good night, princess,” he winked before walking out of the room. 

“Princess?” Yeji squealed. 

And you never heard the end of it. 

“Are you guys sure about this?” You asked, looking at yourself in a bikini. 

“Of course, babe, you look hot,” Yeji purred, looking stunning in her own bikini, as well as Karina. 

“Men are gonna pop boners,” she commented, making you snort. 

“Well, we can’t let that happen,” you say, wrapping a sarong around your waist to cover yourself just a midge. 

The whole day was dedicated to the beach, games and mayhaps a trip towards the central shopping area. You were as excited as a four year old who got offered their favourite candy. The beach was beautiful and you could already see your classmates playing volleyball and dodgeball from a distance. 

“Beomgyu says the boys are still getting ready,” Karina said, reading the text she just got. 

“What are they even doing?” Yeji asked, “and did you actually pay Gyu to get updates about Jay for Y/n?” She asked incredulously. 

You turned to look at her, “you what?” 

“Hey! I did it so I can shove you towards Jaemin before your loverboy comes and gets jealous,” she said as if it was obvious, “y’know it’s fun to see him that way.”

You shook your head, laughing lightly at how dedicated they were with your whole ‘making Jay jealous’ agenda. It was something you didn’t even contribute to as surprisingly, Jaemin was always around. 

Which included the current scenario as you spotted a very built and shirtless Jaemin calling you his way to build sand castles. Now, that’s something you did not see coming. 

“Do you work out?” You genuinely asked him as you sat down next to him. 

The sand was warm and welcoming, just like his smile. 

Your question made him chuckle, “I do, it’s almost fun at times. You wanna touch?” He asked, flexing his biceps for you. 

Yeji watched the scene fold from afar, noticing the immaculate timing of Jay as his bold strides carried him towards the beach. He wore shorts and a floral shirt with a few buttons opened, a pair of sunglasses completed his look. 

“I would remove that if I were you,” Karina spoke up from behind him, pointing at his shirt. 

He looked at her in question when Yeji decided to pop out from his other side, “listen loverboy, look upfront,” she said, pointing at you with Jaemin, “your opponent is strong, look she’s poking his biceps—oh damn they’re big. Anyways, you have to step up,” she nodded, agreeing with herself. 

This was a site Jay was not ready to see so early in the morning, “guess you’re right,” he muttered out, jaw clenched as he swiftly removed his shirt, throwing it on the deckchair with your bags as he made his way towards you. 

Yeji watched it with a smirk, high fiving Karina as they went on to grab ice creams for them to eat. 

“Good morning, princess,” Jay spoke up, extending his hand towards you, making you turn around and look up suddenly. 

“Fuck,” you muttered, eyes on his body. 

It wasn’t the first time you saw him shirtless but now that you were in the companionship of the sun, you could see every single ab of his clearly, his muscles flexing as he moved to extend his hand, which you mindlessly grabbed and he effortlessly lifted you up, pulling you closer to him, much to Jaemin’s dismay. 

“Jay,” you whispered out, clearly out of words. 

The sunglasses were a great help to him as he took in your body for the very first time. He had never seen you in such revealing clothes before, his eyes going deeper down your neck, his heart skipping a beat as he saw you wear your necklace, to your clavicle and down to your—

He stopped, knowing that this would lead to the things he can’t speak of. 

That’s how you abandoned the poor, half-made sand castle and ran after Jay, who very conveniently grabbed your phone and ran away, just so he could take you away from the devil in disguise (read: Jaemin). 

You laughed, breathing deeply as you finally snatched your phone back from Jay, who had a smirk on his annoyingly attractive face. 

“You know you’re doing this wrong,” he spoke up. 

You raised your brow, “doing what wrong, sir?” You asked. 

Calling him sir was just so you could tease him, however you did not know how much he enjoyed hearing it from your mouth. 

“We’re at this breathtakingly beautiful beach and you still haven’t gone into the water.” He looked at the endless blue in front of him. 

“In that case,” you said, “race you to water,” you laughed, running away as he smiled, running after you. 

You shivered with how cold the water felt against your warm skin as you splashed water all over Jay, who didn’t hesitate to do the same to you. 

A gasp left your mouth when he pulled you closer by wrapping his arm around your waist just when you tried to run away, whispering right into your ear, “you can’t run for me, princess.” 

The statement was enough to evoke deep desires in you as you looked back to stare into his honey eyes, realizing how close your faces were to each other, his eyes flickering down to look at your lips. You cleared your throat, stepping back, feeling as if your body was set on fire with how warm it had gotten in the span of five seconds. 

“Let’s go and play—dodgeball?” You asked, not looking at his face. 

He chuckled, “let’s go, princess.” 

The exchange was something you couldn’t get out of your head no matter how hard you tried but playing dodgeball did help you take your mind off it, not to mention your friends soon joined you and your team won, courtesy of Jay, who couldn’t take his eyes off you. 

The time went by in a flash, it was almost time for your lunch, which was arranged beautifully just by the patio of the resort. You had showered and changed into new clothes, which included shorts and a top. 

Jay came down to sit next to you for lunch, dropping a cute shell on your lap which he found on the beach, making you smile softly as you took it in your hand, looking at Jay fondly. You were running out of patience, you just wanted to kiss him. 

“That’s so precious,” you whispered. 

“That’s why it’s yours,” Jay whispered back, placing his hand on your bare, warm thigh. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, eyes widening, yet he didn’t give you an answer, his focus solely on eating. 

“Jay,” you called him out again, only for his grip to tighten, causing you to gasp out loud as your stomach fluttered with butterflies. 

You tried to focus on eating, you really did, but your mind was elsewhere, and so, to teach him a lesson, you decided to take revenge. You stood up, smirking at him who only looked at you with a pout, an expression of betrayal on his face. 

You made sure to stay in between your girls as you went out shopping, who were more than ready to be with you, almost laughing when they saw Jay approaching you. 

“Uh no, mister. It’s our turn to spend time with her,” Karina says, making you smile. 

“Besides, the boys are waiting for you,” Yeji pointed out at Yeonjun and his friends. 

You winked at Jay, linking arms with your friends as you walked away. 

Jay groaned, “dude, where have you been?” Yeonjun asked. 

“Right? I have barely seen him around,” Beomgyu said and Jay only looked at you, pouting. 

On the other hand, you were talking about him as your friends gushed about him getting you a necklace. 

“He is so whipped, I won't be surprised if he gets you a whole diamond set at this point,” Karina said and you laughed lightly, paying for the two tops you picked up from the thrift store. 

“Now that would be costly,” Yeji said. 

“Does it matter? He’s rich, rich,” Karina said, making you and Yeji both look up at her in shock. 

“What?” You exclaimed conjointly. 

“What? You guys didn’t know that?” She asked, frowning. 

“Why does he live in a rented apartment then?” Yeji asked, eyes still wide as you tried to process this information. 

“Something in the lines of being independent, I’ve seen him at the parties though, he doesn’t seem to be too fond of his parents,” she told you.  

“Wow, I had no clue about this,” you said, worried that him being of completely different status would be a complication. 

Suddenly it all made sense, how he paid for the hotel, how he didn’t hesitate to buy anything for the group and how he was always clad in luxurious clothing. 

“Don’t worry, he’s practically whipped for you,” Karina stated and you smiled slightly, looking at a delicate necklace which looked ethereal to you. 

You were really whipped for him too. 

“Y/n!” You heard Jay’s voice calling out your name, making you turn around with a smile. 

Everyone else was in their room already, while you had stayed back to help Professor Min with the budget calculations of the day, making you stay back for a few minutes more. Now, you stood in front of your room, Jay approaching you with a tiny paper bag in his hand, which he wordlessly handed over to you, making you look up at him in question. 

“What’s this?” You asked, opening it in front of him. 

You found a box inside the bag, which contained the very same necklace you had been staring at during your visit at the shopping centre. 

You breathed out softly, looking up at him to see his red cheeks, “you really are my stalker,” you laughed, looking at the box again, which flustered him even more. 

It was a sight to see Jay blushing, he oozed confidence, yet you knew how much of a softie he could be. 

“I wasn’t being creepy, really. I just saw you looking at it,” he explained, trying to defend himself. 

“I love it.” Your smile was so genuine, it made his heart beat faster, even more so when you stood up on your tiptoes, mustering all your courage to give him a featherlight kiss on his jaw, “thank you, love.” 

You used his own nickname on him, the expression on his face was priceless, making you want to click a picture of him, of how red his face was, “good night, Jay.” 

You winked at him, leaving him standing there, speechless. 

If anyone dared you to stop smiling, then you would fail without question. It was intriguing how your cheeks didn’t hurt even though you had been smiling since last night, you probably even slept with a smile on your face. You and Jay quietly exchanged glances during the entirety of breakfast time. 

“Okay, what’s going on?” Karina asked, sitting next to you in the bus as it was the last day of your trip, and you were heading to the amusement park for the day. 

“What do you mean?” You asked, trying to act normal. 

“I mean, why have you been giving each other the look? And why is he staring at me? Am I not allowed to sit with you now?” She asked  

“What do you mean ‘the look’? And of course you should sit with me,” you told her, resting your head on her shoulder. 

“The look, like you’ve fucked,” she smirked. 

“God! No that’s not it,” you said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at her assumptions, “nothing happened.”

“It will happen soon, don’t you worry,” she winked at you. 

“We’re here!” Your professor announced, and you looked out of the window to see how cool it looked, the theme seemed to be ‘castles’, making it look twice as grand as it was. 

Jay simply wanted to spend his day with you, however his friends were adamant that he spends his day with them. You got your passes and entered to see happy faces all around, a chuckle leaving your mouth when you saw Yeonjun dragging Jay along with him. 

“Where do we start?” You asked with a smile. 

That was just the question to ask, your friends dragging you to bumper cars, you lost count of the number of times Yeji bumped into your car before you set off to the virtual reality rides, and later to the carousels. 

You rode the carousels twice, posing for the pictures alongside as you tried to capture the heartfelt experience where you felt like a kid all over again. Half of the day had passed by and you couldn’t lie, you missed seeing a certain someone. 

Just then, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you in the Photo Booth, your eyes widening, your first instinct was to scream, but you stopped to see that it was none other than Jay. 

“Jay?” You spoke out loud. 

“Shhh, Yeonjun is probably searching for me right now,” he spoke, almost scared as if they kept him captive. 

You looked at him, “let’s get a picture till they go away,” you said, pointing at the Photo Booth. 

He let you put cat ears on him, along with pink glasses which made him look cute, however, he did whine about it, but took pictures with you nevertheless, pulling you closer, smiling and soon, laughing with you.

After printing two sets of your pictures, you handed one over to him, grabbing his hands naturally and dragging him to get matching headbands. If any stranger would have looked at you two, they would have easily assumed you to be a couple with how you were behaving like one. 

“The sunset looks so pretty,” you whispered, looking at the sky which was a mixture of orange, yellow and red hues. 

Jay nodded, his eyes solely on you. 

The noise of Jay’s phone ringing grabbed your attention, you smiled at him, urging him to pick up the call and he excused himself for a minute. You took this time to sit down at the nearby bench, looking at the ferris wheel, which you wanted to ride with Jay. You hadn’t thought that he would become so dear to you, maybe it was because he was so caring, so selfless and sweet to you. 

He came back after a few minutes, a look of distress on his face, “hey, what’s wrong?” You asked, worried about him and only smiled at you. 

“It’s nothing, everything’s fine, princess,” he spoke up. 

“Why? Don’t wanna tell your problems to your enemy?” You teased him, getting an actual snicker out of him. 

“It’s just that—my mom, she’s not very accepting of me spending my time doing things other than studying, which also includes me being on this trip,” he said, “so she called me to remind me that I’m wasting my time,” he told you, upset about this situation. 

“Does being here make you happy?” You asked him, eyes sparkling as you looked at the sunset. 

“It makes me the happiest I’ve ever been,” he answered in a beat, deep down knowing that it wasn’t the trip, it was you who made him happy. 

“That’s it then! Forget about the negatives, don’t think about your mom, the trip is almost over. Instead, be here, live in the moment and ride the ferris wheel with me,” you beamed at him. 

It was that easy for you to make Jay smile, just like that, he extended his hand and you both made your way towards the ride, where the line was growing by second as everyone wished to see the sunset from the top, but you were quicker. 

One compartment catered two people, which suited to be perfect for you and Jay as you sat with your knees touching. It took around five minutes for everyone to settle in turn by turn and your ride was approximately seven minutes long, as written on the information board. 

You took out your phone to capture the view of the whole park, which was visible as you went higher up in the sky, “Y/n,” Jay whispered out, looking at you with intensity. 

Your breath hitched when you saw him glancing at your lips, he couldn’t hold his desire any longer, it was the perfect opportunity, the perfect spot. 

He leaned in, his hand coming to rest on your cheeks, his fingertips tracing the contours of your cheek, and you leaned into his touch, your breath hitching with anticipation as his nose brushed against yours. 

“I won’t be able to hold myself back any longer,” he whispered, lips almost brushing against yours, tentative at first. 

“Don’t then—” you whispered, but were cut off. 

With a gentle tilt of your head, Jay pulled you closer, closing the distance between you two. Your lips met in a collision of passion, warmth and longing as they tenderly explored each other. 

Time became irrelevant as he deepened the kiss, cradling your face in his hands. A loud sound of firecrackers bursting made you both stop, breathing hard as you looked out of the window, finding yourself on the top of the Ferris wheel with the onset of fireworks, which were said to be the highlight of the day at the amusement park. 

However, Jay was restless, “you look so fucking pretty,” he said as the pretty colours of the fireworks made your face shine, and without further ado, he took off his specs in a go before he connected his lips to yours again, it was gentle yet possessive, your lips tingling, your senses heightening as he sent shivers of pleasure down your spine. 

You broke the kiss to breathe, resting your forehead on his, eyes meeting each other as he said, “I think I’m falling for you,” he intertwines your fingers with his, “when you’re around, I feel alive. Our every exchange makes me want to know you more, to be around you and forget about everything that weighs me down.”

“I like you so fucking much, Jay,” you whisper, making him smile out of pleasure, “I like it as you pout when you study, or how you care about others so deeply, about how you buy the whole stack of Coca Cola or how you love eating corn—”

He kissed you swiftly, smiling into the kiss as you reached the bottom of the ferris wheel, your hearts beating in sync as you came out of the ride hand in hand. 

“Y/n! I’ve been searching for you all day!” A voice called out, making your head turn to look at a very jolly Jaemin. 

Jay could already feel his mood turning sour at his entrance, it only turned worse when Jay saw Jaemin getting close to you, his usual smile radiant as he picked up a fallen eyelash from your cheek. 

It was the same thing Jay did a few days back, his blood boiled seeing some other boy do the same for you, he couldn’t take it while you tried your best to get away from Jaemin soon by blowing on your lash, which he kept on his finger. 

You couldn’t find Jay when you opened your eyes again, when in reality, he was the only one who had wished for on your lash. Jaemin looked at you, confused as you ran away, trying to find Jay, only to get a text from him. 

My enemy:

Hot tub, tonight at 10 

That’s all it said and your lip quivered, hoping that he wasn’t upset with you because of Jaemin. 

Only time would tell. 

It was heartbreaking enough to not see Jay on the bus with you, while you used that time to fill in your friends about what had happened, leaving out the part where Jay disappeared into nowhere, they both squealed and encouraged you to take it a step further. 

You didn’t see him at dinner either. 

Since it was the last day, everyone was up and making the most of it. You had to get to the hot tub, which was at the top floor, a private area, as you gathered by asking in the front lobby. Seeing how you had to go to the tub, you decided to wear your other bikini under your shirt and shorts.

You didn’t know what to expect. 

Opening the door to your room, you looked out to see if anyone was in the corridor before you walked out, however, you had to wait for five minutes as some girls stood outside, talking and laughing with each other. 

When you saw the clear coast, you speed-walked towards the lift, pressing the button of the top floor as you tried to keep your breathing in check. 

Kissing Jay was something that had you dazed, but his disappearance made you anxious. You bit your lip when the door opened and you walked towards the private area, which was concealed with a wall. You asked the guard about it and he asked for your name in return, opening the door when you told him so. 

Stepping in, you saw a large hot tub covered with fairy lights and dainty white curtains. More importantly, you saw Jay, shirtless, resting with his eyes closed, his head tilted back which gave you the full view of his neck and torso. 

He looked beautiful. 

You didn’t wish to disturb him so you quietly took off your clothes, leaving you in your bikini as you entered the hot tub. That caught Jay’s attention as he looked up and right into your eyes. 

Your heartbeat rose, his eyes looked darker than ever as he sat like royalty. He looked perfect even with his hair wet, your eyes particularly focusing on that one water droplet cascading down his jawline, to his neck and down his chest. 

“Jay,” you whispered, walking towards him as the water came up to your chest level. The tub was big indeed. 

He simply stared at you, eyes taking your body in as he bit his lower lip, pulling your wrist, making you lose your balance as you landed on his lap, hands pressed against his chest as you tried to maintain your balance. Your whole body warmed up, the warm water only adding to it, juxtaposing the slightly colder air, which made the curtains sway mildly. 

He only pulled you closer, his pointed nose brushing against yours before he grabbed your chin, making you look him in the eyes, “do you like it?” He asks through clenched teeth, his voice a tone deeper. 

“Like what?” You whispered, your stomach fluttering at your propinquity. 

“Making me jealous,” he almost growled out, wrapping his arm around your waist, changing the positions so your body was slightly tilted and pressed against his wet and bare torso, “Jaemin might look like it but we both fucking know he can’t give you want you want, darling,” he whispers, sending tingles down your lower abdomen. 

His hand trailed up, travelling between the valley of your breasts, “y’know I’m not the jealous type, princess,” he says, his fingers wrapping around your neck, “but what’s mine is mine.” His deep voice was enough to have your cunt throbbing. 

Suddenly, you were pulled into a deep kiss, his hand keeping you in place, his other hand grasped your waist, making you sit above his crotch. He deepened the kiss, amplifying the sensations as you whined into his mouth, driving him crazy with hunger that knew no bounds. 

“See how your body reacts to my touch,” he hummed with pride, right against your lips, your eyes closed shut with how intoxicated you felt. 

His fingers left your neck, brushing against your skin as they played with the strap of your bikini, his lips attacking your neck with needy kisses, “fuck! I’ve wanted this ever since I saw you in the bikini yesterday,” he spoke up.  

A gasp left your mouth when he squeezed your tits with his big hand, “Jay—”

“That’s right, darling. Moan out my name,” he cooed, looking at how your body was like putty in his arms. 

You looked him right in the eye, cheeks hot and water slightly moving with your movement, “want you so much,” you breathed out, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing yourself on his semi hardened cock which was still clothed. 

“Good. Cause I’m not planning to stop anymore,” he chuckled, pressing you down harder on him before he swiftly changed your positions, water making it even easier for you to move around. 

You leaned back against his broad shoulder, your back flush against his hard chest, his arm encasing your waist, “don’t stop,” you breathed in after a beat of silence. 

“Tell me who you want, doll,” he ordered, the vibrations of his chest, of his throat made your body shiver as he spoke directly into your ear, hand inching towards your lower abdomen, tracing the expanse of it as he waited for your reply. 

“You! Only you, Jay,” you trailed out, rolling his name off your tongue in perfect harmony. 

Your anticipation only grew from here as his fingers landed on your inner thigh, toying with the string of your panties which held it in place, “that’s right, only I get to do this to my doll.” 

He pulled on the string from both sides, getting rid of your panties as his fingertips brushed against your folds, making you arch your back with the pleasure seeping into you, the warm water enhanced the feel. 

It didn’t take him long to ease one of his fingers inside you, and you couldn’t contain your noises anymore as he thrusted it in and out of you, finding his pace as he added another finger to it. 

He tilted his face which rested on your shoulder to suck on your neck, licking it up as your eyes rolled back with the feeling of bliss taking over you. His fingers were big and so thick, his hard on poking at your ass made you wonder how thick his cock would be. 

“More,” you whined, chest heaving up and down as his other hand cupped your tits, massaging it and pinching your nipples. 

“Yeah? Doll wants more of me?” He grinned, his thumb applying more pressure to your clit, “tell me what you want, darling.” 

He continued fucking your pussy with his fingers, whilst leaving bruises on your neck as he marked you, possessiveness clear in his actions. 

“Want you,” you breathed out, clenching around his fingers, “in me.”

“Fuck!” He pulled you up hastily to get rid of his shorts, throwing it on the ground, out of the tub as you turned back yet again to wrap your arms around his shoulders, sitting above his hard cock as you rubbed your folds along his length. 

He pulled you in for a rough kiss, the one that left you breathless and you could only think about how hot he looked, a groan leaving his mouth as you tugged on his hair. 

You looked up at him with innocent eyes, your body all wet as you nibbled on his ear, trying to make up for him being jealous, “I belong to you,” you whispered, his tip was right on your entrance as the misty steam filled up your surroundings. 

Jay couldn’t wait anymore, he grabbed your hips to keep you in place and thrusted right up, filling you full of his cock. A loud moan escaped your lips as he began thrusting up, slow but powerful. 

“So fucking tight,” he spoke in between your lewd moans. 

His grip only got tighter as he bucked his hips up to meet yours as you pushed yourself down on his cock, which rubbed the walls of your core deliciously, reaching the deepest spots into you. 

You couldn’t stop kissing him and you were sure your lips were swollen by now. Crying out in pleasure, you panted as he leaned down to suck on your nipples, providing you the utmost pleasure. 

He admired your face, your body as you screamed out for him in the cool night air. He never thought that he’d take you in a hot tub for the very first time, but he couldn’t help his jealousy. He wanted you, he wanted all of you. 

“No one’s gonna fuck you like this, only me,” he smirked, push you down on him as you felt a fiery sensation down your abdomen and you were so close to your high, and the way Jay twitched inside you told you that he was close too. 

“I’m so—oh my god!” You moaned as he bit your neck. 

“Go on, princess,” he whispered against your skin. 

The water sloshed with your movements as your pace increased, until you felt a familiar knot in your stomach, causing you to clench around him helplessly. 

You chanted his name, your core tightened as you fell apart on his cock, reaching the state of pure ecstasy as he kissed you, biting on your lip as he filled you up with his cum. 

You both stilled, breathing in deeply before Jay looked at you with soft, sincere eyes. 

“You’re mine,” he said. 

“And you’re mine,” you smiled, kissing him softly. 

Jay had decided to help you walk you to your room, seeing how your legs felt like jelly and to your luck, the corridor was empty. But he didn’t go back to his room, instead, he came inside your room, locking the door and helping you get into the bathroom. 

He laughed seeing how flustered you were as he didn’t leave your side for even a second, helping you clean off, his hands roaming around to touch you everywhere , which was enough to get you needy once again as he wrapped your legs around his waist and fucked you right under the shower.

You couldn’t get enough of him, and vice versa. Your heart felt full when he made you sit in front of him to dry your hair, his face devoid of anger now as he pouted with concentration. 

You leaned in and pecked him softly, the action made him blush and you wondered how he could be so intense yet so adorable in the span of an hour. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered, kissing your forehead and holding you close now that you were on the bed together. 

You gulped, “you’ll be here, right?” You asked him, vulnerability showing as you fiddled with your fingers. 

“I’m not leaving you, princess,” he said, “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

He took out a ring from his pocket, making your eyes water at how he truly did everything to make you happy, and yet again, he wanted to seal it as a promise. 

“I know a ring might be too much, but Y/n, I want it, I want us to happen,” he told you. 

You took his name in a whisper, looking at him with teary eyes as you wrapped your arms around him, before pulling him into a kiss, saying “yes.”

A series of kisses all over your face successfully woke you up with a giggle as Jay caged you in his arms, rubbing his nose on your cheek, “good morning, girlfriend,” he said, kissing your hand where you wore his ring. 

You kissed his neck, “good morning, boyfriend.” 

It felt unreal as he pulled you to him, both of you smiling from ear to ear, not once trying to contain it. 

Turns out, Jay indeed had planned on driving you home with him, he was a dedicated boyfriend already as he helped you pick out your clothes, even doing your hair as you told him to. He even added a little bow to it, calling you his princess. 

You sat down in his car, not putting on the seatbelt on purpose only for Jay to shake his head, “you’re so cute,” he said, grabbing the belt but not before he kissed you and helped you buckle in. 

His hand settled on your thigh and he was so affectionate throughout your journey back, not to mention how he spent a few minutes making out with you on his lap when you stopped for lunch. 

He almost threw a tantrum, whining that he wanted to sleep with you when you reached your apartment, but you had to stop him, promising that he’ll get to do it soon. 

Yeji wasn’t surprised when you told her that you were now dating Jay, but she made sure to run across the hall, and into Jay’s apartment to give him a lecture about treating you well as you could only stand back and laugh at his earnest expression and constant nodding. 

You both were called to university the next day, Professor Jung looking at you with a small smile on his lips which made you both look at each other in question. 

“I know that the internship was meant for only one student, however,” he said, stopping for a dramatic effect, “you both got the internship!” 

You squealed, jumping up as you refrain yourself from hugging Jay on the spot as you both bowed down to thank your professor, who was beaming at his favourite students. 

He told you the details, telling you how the internship would last a whole month and you both would be working together during the summer break. 

You walked out of his office, walking with a considerable distance between you both before Jay pulled you in an empty classroom and kissed you, “told you you’d get it, baby.” 

He gave you butterflies every damn time. 

That night, he took you out for dinner and you told him everything about your life, about your parents and your town, while he told you about how his mom had called in earlier to show her distaste about Jay working at a company that’s not theirs. 

His mood was ruined, and so you sneaked into his bedroom to hold him to sleep, his eyes shining when he saw you in your fluffy shorts. 

He was falling in love with you. 

Just as you were falling in love with him. 

Your hearts were intertwined, each day felt like it was something to look forward to, his simple gestures and your shared experiences grew further, filling your life with joy and bliss. 

The next one month was something you’d describe as adventurous. It was amazing enough that Jay willingly made breakfast for you, and dressed you up as you helped him with his tie before you left for your internship, but Jay was restless even there. 

He was hardworking and everyone acknowledged you both for it, however he was one to take risks when he silently dragged you with him to the emergency staircase area. 

“Missed you so much,” he whispered, mumbling against your lips, as you let him hold you for as long as he wanted to. 

“You’re adorable, Mr. Park,” you teased, as that’s what they referred to Jay as in the office, “now let’s go before someone finds us here.”

“One more minute, princess,” he says, hiding his face in your nape. 

Jay felt more affectionate than ever, simply never wishing to let go of you. 

It was raining by the time you reached back your apartments, and you dragged Jay out in the rain, “dance with me,” you smiled and he shook his head with your cuteness. 

Nevertheless, he followed you, holding on to your waist as he started humming a tune, while both of you danced without any care in this world, soon coming closer to kiss each other. 

You wanted to freeze time, you never wanted this moment to be over. It was perfect, Jay was perfect. The world often seemed chaotic to you, it was laced with uncertainty, but in that world, Jay came and became your pillar of certainty. He gave you hope, he took care of you, which made you want to do the same, twice as much for him. 

You never wanted this to end, and you most certainly did not know what was to come. 

It was your one month anniversary with Jay. Needless to say, he didn’t let you sleep much at night, confessing how much he adores you by showing you the same. You wanted to tell him you loved him, it was on the tip of your tongue, not knowing Jay wanted to do the very same but he saved it for tonight. He was going to take you out for dinner, he had planned it all. 

But the sudden knocking of his apartment door woke you up, knowing that it wasn’t Taehyun as he had gone back to his hometown for vacations. Jay woke up with a groan and got dressed to see who it was, not knowing that you had woken up too, following him out as you stood behind the wall, accidentally overhearing the conversation. 

“M—mom? What are you doing here?” Jay stuttered and your eyes widened as you peeked in to see a lady who’s persona screamed rich as she was clad in expensive clothes and held a cold gaze. 

“No, son. What are you doing?” She asked, emphasizing on you, “you have a girlfriend now?” She scoffed and your heart broke seeing Jay look so distressed. 

“So what? I’m doing everything you want me to do, I’m studying, I’m taking extra classes and learning about our company,” he listed out, voice broken. 

“No. The only reason I allowed you to stay here was because I thought you would study,” she sounded disappointed, “but yet you’re fooling around with a girl? A middle class girl at that!” She exclaimed and you heard Jay raise his voice for the first time. 

“Don’t fucking talk about her!” He screamed. 

Your eyes were watering. This is exactly what you had feared, that it was too good to be true. 

“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me,” his mother warned him, “you’re far too gone, Jay. Me and your father have decided to send you to America where you’ll take over the subsidiary branch as the CEO.”

You bit your wrist to not let any voice out as your tears flowed freely. Jay was leaving. He had to leave. 

“And you’re breaking up with that girl,” she said. 

“No! I love her,” Jay cried out.

You felt hollow inside, he loved you, you loved him, and yet the universe couldn’t let you be together. 

“This is just a warning, do it before I get you engaged to someone of our level. You want her to be safe, don’t you?” She asked, voice sweet as she wiped Jay’s tears. 

“Just do what I say, you’ll leave in two days, I expect to see you back at your place by tonight.” That was all Mrs. Park said before closing the door and leaving you both alone. 

“Jay?” Your voice was a mere whisper but he heard it, looking back at you with bloodshot eyes. 

“Princess,” he cried out, coming over to hug you as he freely sobbed on your shoulder, “I don’t want to go, I want you, I just want you,” he said in between his cries and you only held him tighter. 

“It’s okay—” you tried to calm him down despite not being able to breathe yourself. 

“It’s not—I hate that woman, I have never been happy before, you’re my happiness,” he said, breathing hard. 

“I love you,” you whispered. You had to let him know you did, despite everything going downhill. 

He cried out, “I love you, I love you so fucking much,” he confessed, “I’m so sorry,” he took a deep breath, “I will come back for you.” 

You hid your face, knowing that it won't be easy. 

“You’ll come to see me off at the airport, right?” He asked. 

You kissed him, “of course I will.” 

Then you both realized that you weren’t his girlfriend anymore, nor was he your boyfriend. 

You didn’t know how long you stayed in that position, in each other’s arms but you knew he had to go with how his phone was ringing with his mother’s call. 

He pulled you in a deep kiss, “I love you,” he whispered against your lips as you tasted the salty tears of you both. 

“I love you, Jay,” you said. 

And you both meant it. 

You couldn’t eat or sleep the next day, your mind restless as you could not stop yourself from breaking down each time you thought of him, Yeji and Karina tried their best to help but you barely could speak. 

Jay was gone. 

You had gotten ready, even wearing the red scarf he loved so much to see him off, not knowing that his mom had sent him off already. 

That’s when you realized it was truly over for you both. 

His parents were rich, belonging to an entirely different world, it wasn’t something you could fight or get across. So you let your tears fall until you felt numb, your heart physically hurting. You kept his blue handkerchief with you to wipe your tears. 

You had lost him. 

You sat in his dark grey sweatshirt, missing him as you looked out at the rain falling down, reminding you of your trip, and of him dancing with you right there. University became monotonous again, you were grateful for your friends but you also swore to yourself. 

To never fall in love again. 

People say heartbreak takes time to heal, but one can only take so much. You fell back into your old routine of going to university with your friends and coming back only to devote your whole time to studying. 

Your family was more worried than ever, as you didn’t spend much time talking to them, you hadn’t told them about Jay, now there was nothing more to tell. 

And that’s how you spent your one year, with no sign of Jay. You assumed that his parents would have kept a tab on it too. Maybe it was your reminder to not stay hung up and look forward to different opportunities of growth and renewal. Love gave you immense joy, but also brought back home the feeling of profound pain. 

You finally felt happiness again when you graduated, because you left the place filled with those memories and returned back to your home. 

“Is that a ring in your finger?” Kitty, your little sister, asked you and that’s when you realized that you never took it off. 

Until you did, putting it inside the letter you decided to write for him, sitting at your old study table. 

The one letter which won't reach Jay, ever. 

Dear Park Jongseong,

The first name that ever came to my mind when I saw you was warm prince. I was new, I was lost and you came my way, filling me up with familiar warmth, assuring me with just a smile. It was long before you started calling me your princess. Guess you were my prince from day one. 

I know exactly the day it started, it was lecture number three, room seven forty, in professor Jung’s class when we were told about the internships. Maybe it was just me who took you as a rival, while all you gathered from the situation was an opportunity to tease me, to teach me and help me through and through. 

You know I love horror movies, but if it came down to you, I’d drop it in a heartbeat just to keep you safe in my arms. I helped you once and you made it your life mission to help me undeniably. 

Tell me Jay, did your heart beat as fast as mine when you hugged me at the party? You called me pretty so easily, and I stayed up thinking about it for nights. All eyes were on you at that party, but your eyes never left mine. It seemed to me that you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. 

I didn’t know when it started but you didn’t break my walls, instead, you climbed in and helped me break it with your help. When you kissed me at the ferris wheel, it felt like destiny. It only turned into a Disney movie when fireworks graced us with their presence. I was falling in love with you already. 

Every second I spent with you felt like the best, you were the best, you always have been Jay. Maybe that’s why I can’t seem to remove this ring from my finger, because I can’t admit it’s over. 

I want us to dance in the rain again, to sneak out again. I want to see your face when I wake up the first thing in the morning and the last thing before I go to sleep. 

You gave me everything, Jay. But you never told me how to live without you. You never told me it would break me to see you cry, you never told me that you’ll make me fall in love with you and then you’ll have to leave. 

Maybe one day we’ll be able to meet, maybe we’ll get to talk about ourselves. Till then, take care of yourself for me, baby. I love you, and I always will. 

Love,

The girl who was your rival. 

What you did not know was that Jay too had impulsively written a letter while missing you, which he couldn’t send. 

Dear Y/n,

To say I miss you would be an understatement, especially when all I can do is think about you. It’s been a year since I’ve seen you, not a day goes by that I wish I could come back and be with you. I still remember the day we met, the first thing that came to my mind was how you look like a princess with prettiest face. You looked lost, and it simply made me want to be your guide forever. I never saw you as a rival, deep inside, I wanted you to win everything. And you did. You won my heart. 

You helped me escape that movie, acting as if it was nothing. It meant everything to me, you were starting to mean everything to me. The very next day, you blew my mind by coming to that party. You looked heavenly. It might have been childish of me, yet I wanted your attention. So I made it my duty to tease you. 

I had never been to that convenience store before the day I saw you working there. You might be right about me being a stalker, but hey, I’m your personal stalker. I wanted to know everything about you. My heart broke when I saw you working when you were clearly sick, you really should rest more, princess. 

A little confession: I had woken up right on time for our trip, but I didn’t wake you up. It was selfish of me, I wanted to spend time with you, I wanted us to go there together, and so, I let you sleep through it all. I don’t regret it one bit. 

My favourite part of the trip was you. It warmed my heart to see you search for me, to see you smile at me, to kiss you, to touch you. I felt happier than ever with you, princess. 

I’ll work hard for you, I’ll work hard and become independent as a CEO and I’ll win your heart right back, princess. 

Till then, take care of yourself. I love you, I always will. 

Love, 

The boy who was your rival.

THANK YOU FOR READING <3

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[daddyplasmius]

hand on my stupid heart flashbacks

this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsーwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ーcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortーPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)

-

When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldn’t breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.

He almost went back.

Almost.

He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.

He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.

-

Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting… strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.

Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneーmom and dad called it that, he rememberedーfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orー

The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.

While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos™ off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didn’t stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the “what happened to you?” and the “where have you been?” and the “we’ve missed you”.

Dad scrambled to shoot at him.

Danny fled.

His parents didn’t recognize him.

-

The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.

He’d waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldn’t get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeーor existence. Whatever.

The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, “Who changed the menu?”

Everyone pointed at Sam.

Danny hadn’t known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.

This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.

The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadn’t been in the crossfire.

Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerーboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightーall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.

Surely they would know him on sight.

“Wh-what are you?” Sam gasped at him finally.

Danny flinched as if she had struck him. “J-just… your friendly neighbourhood phantom.”

-

Danny didn’t know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.

He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldn’t help himself. What on Earth were they doing?

They were going to Vlad Master’s mansion for their college reunion.

It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80’s.

Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldn’t see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladーthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ーtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.

VladーPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manーghostーwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingーpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vlad’s obsession was overwhelming.

Danny couldn’t believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.

[randomingoftherandomness]

.

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[theinfinitedivides]

the Johars heard of the "bury your gays" trope and took that upon themselves to fulfill to a T bc internalized homophobia and societal heteronormativity, having a meltdown in the f*cking club rn

[cleromancy]

not enough posts about jason is a crybaby on this web site

[rivilu]

The more I think about the story through Daeran's pov the more insane i go. btw.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Sanemi finding out you pretended to be a boy in order to get trained properly and him falling head over heels for you after

Pairing: Sanemi x fem!reader

Word Count: 4,2k

Synopsis: If there's one thing you always hated, it was being underestimated. Because you're nothing but a petite girl in the eyes of every other demon slayer you stumbled upon with even the sound hashira going easy on you. They left you no choice but to pretend that you're a boy in order to finally get the training you deserve. Little did you know it will be the wind hashira himself who uncovers your dirty secret...

Warnings: it's Sanemi so language, the bonus scene is for those of you who are in desperate need of some spice (no direct smut), last part not proofread because this needs to be published and I'm tired lol

Thank you sooo much for that super cool request, @xxx-oneofthegirls-xxx, I hope you like what I came up with (also, you made me listen to one of the girls nonstop while writing this hehe)

You stare at your foreign reflection in the mirror, cheeks still burning. This looks ridiculous and you know it, your plan so plain and stupid that you regret your decision more and more with each passing second.

But you have to do this.

“Don’t overwork yourself, (y/n). You’ll rest here while the others run a few extra miles.”

“But Tengen-sama, I-“

“Here, let’s get you something to eat!”, Suma cried out.

“You’re overworking that poor woman, Tengen-sama”, Mako commented dryly.

“I already told her to take a break!”

Because without pretending that you’re a boy, they’ll never take you seriously. Not when you’re a petite girl, not when everyone treats you like porcelain because of your small frame and gender. You came her because you’re ready to fight, because being a demon slayer is your true destiny. You want to get trained hard, you urge to surpass yourself each and every day.

You stare at your eyes filled with determination in the mirror. Therefore, you need to make sure they see nothing but a normal boy in you. 

It’s hard to breathe properly with countless bandages tied around your chest in order to hide your feminine curves to their eyes. Carefully, you tie a ribbon around the ends of your hair and pull them up. Good, now your hair is about shoulder-length. A plain hairband that is convincing enough as a sweat band turns your usual longer hair into a temporary short cut.

Is this enough? Will the mist hashira actually believe you?

Confidently, you change into the uniform you stole from a boy nearby earlier and grab your katana. There is no other way than finding out.

“Where’s that little girl? Didn’t Tengen-sama allow her to continue?”

“Huh, you mean the little wallflower? I bet she gave up when she saw what hashira training really means. She wasn’t even strong enough to hold a sword.”

Your heart drops to the floor while your eyes automatically look down in panic and distress. Everyone underestimates you over the sheer fact that you’re a girl. But why? Why would you give up? Why is everyone thinking you aren’t strong enough when women like Shinobu Kocho show them how it’s done? You didn’t train since you were 4 to get reduced to your gender and height.

No, you’ll show them soon enough how good you really are and that you’re no one to be messed with.

“Look at him!”

“Who is that guy?”

“He fights as good as Tanjiro!”

“I’ve never seen him around. Do you know him?”

And you did. Training after training, hashira after hashira. Somehow, you surpassed them all. Despite your small frame, your disadvantage towards the boys with their ability to move freely in the scorching hot sun, you made it.

“It seems like you’re decent handling your sword. I have no use for you here anymore”, Obanai proclaims dryly.

You…you did it? You’ve been here for 3 days, spent the first day tied to a wall while getting smacked by some useless comrades. But you really convinced him, the serpent hashira, the man a lot of the others were so afraid of.

Your heart jumps up and down in excitement. You convinced him.

“Thank you”, you mumble in reply with deepened voice.

“Let’s see how you’ll keep up with Shinazugawa. Now get lost.”

Shinazugawa? You’ve heard that name before. Is this…the wind hashira? Your eyes widen as you sprint down the forest in the merciless sun. If Iguro Obanai is considered rough, Sanemi Shinazugawa has to be a menace. You heard from countless slayers that went back home as soon as they arrived at his estate, some beaten up so badly that they needed treatment.

For days.

You swallow hard. If this man finds out that you’re not who you pretend to be, you’ll be dead. But you have no other choice. After everything you’ve been through, you won’t give up because of the wind hashira’s bad reputation.

“How’s training going?”, Sanemi mumbles while staring into the distance.

“All of them are trash. There’s only one that is decent, though”, Obanai replies dryly.

“Don’t tell me it’s that Kamado brat-“

“No, I’ve never seen that boy before. No one seems to know who he is. He’s pretty small for his age and acts even weirder than the others but I can’t deny that he’s skilled. Even Kanroji…praised him”, Obanai presses out.

He’ll definitely never forget you for taking up the space of a full hand-written site in her note to him.

“You all went too easy on him, then. I’ll mop the floor with his ass when he gets to me.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Your breath gets stuck in your throat. There it is, the estate of the wind hashira. Only him and the stone hashira are left. Only these two until you’re able to drop your false identity and use your newest skills in a real fight. When you’re done here, you’ll finally be able to protect your village properly. No demon will ever hurt your friends and family again.

You just have to get through a few more days of training. A few more days with the wind hashira…

-two days later-

“Get lost, brats”, Sanemi barks out in sheer frustration.

Are these losers really supposed to be useful in a fight against Kibutsuji? They aren’t even good enough to hold their wooden sword correctly, let alone find the right stance to fight. God, this is such a waste of time, so fucking annoying that he smashes his own wooden sword into the ground roughly.

“Fucking useless rabble”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

When his blurry sight catches yours, he’s even more infuriated. He really thought the other pillars were too gentle with you. You, with your thin and small frame, with your innocent eyes that almost make you look like a girl. And while you look like the biggest loser of this whole corps, you manage to fight better than all the others.

“Enough of this bullshit, we’re using real swords now”, Sanemi barked at you while already grabbing his sharp katana.

“Fine.”

You didn’t storm towards him, didn’t act out of confidence or rage. You stayed so calm that Sanemi didn’t know how to act for the split of a second.

The split of a second. This minor moment was enough for you to lift your blade and scratch his cheek ever so slightly.

“Did he…Just hit the wind hashira?”

“This can’t be true. A strange guy like him, hitting one of the most powerful demon slayers?”

“You…You have some fucking nerve, little brat! I’ll make you pay for this!”

Oh, how often he tormented you. Made you stand up in the middle of the night for a fight, forced you to stand up against all your comrades. He pushed you over your limit over and over, made you suffer in a way he never did before.

But you still stand your ground. Still, you grab your wooden sword and follow the others inside at dawn as if nothing happened.

And it simply drives him insane.

“You, little brat!”

“Yes, Shinazugawa-sama?”

Your guts turn in an instant. In contrast to the other hashira training, this feels like a trip to hell and back. It almost seems as if the wind hashira made it his mission to let you suffer more than anyone else. What have you done to deserve his anger? Did you act out of line, aloof? It has to be the fact that you injured his cheek during your fight…

“Never mind. Get out of my sight.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice. Instantly, you turn on your heels and make your way to dinner. Maybe you’ll finally have to chance to wash yourself tonight. With all those unexpected training sessions and the wind hashira torturing you until far past midnight, you didn’t even find the time to take a bath. Urgh, you can’t wait to finally take those bandages off and to wash your itchy scalp. All that sweating without the relief of a jump in the cool lake nearby is definitely hard to endure.

But tonight. Tonight you’ll finally get the chance to escape the merciless gaze of Sanemi Shinazugawa.

He doesn’t know what keeps him up tonight. Is it the full moon that lights his room, his still enraged heart? It’s still hard to believe that you’re acting up like this, that you manage to hit him. Out of all the jerks he trained, why does it have to be the smallest and therefore weakest one?

Maybe all he needs is letting his anger out on you. Sanemi storms into the dormitory wearing nothing but a casual yukata. He might hunt you around the lake for a few rounds or lets you practice your sword bows until you turn blue-

But his eyes don’t get greeted by your hair sticking out underneath you’re blanket.

“Where the hell are you, brat?”, he hisses to himself.

“This feels like heaven”, you moan to yourself while you dip your head into the cool water.

You never cared about getting covered in mud or dried blood sticking to your skin. But oh, the feeling of cleaning yourself up again after a rough day is just unmatched. Gently, your fingers brush through your wet hair, free yourself from all the dirt of those last days.

When will you be able to return? After that, only the stone hashira is left. How did you manage to land all the way over here? Hiding behind the identity of a boy no one know in order to get treated equally. Your efforts were definitely worth it. With those countless new techniques you’ve learned, you’ll finally be able to stand up against the demons that haunt down your village on a regular basis. Finally, you’ve got the education you deserved.

“You have to be fucking kidding me.”

All color drains from your face in an instant. You don’t have to look past his knees to know who stays right in front of you. Why didn’t you hear him coming? How did he manage to show up in front of you without you noticing?

“S-Shinazuwaga-sama”, you breathe out.

It doesn’t matter how he found you. With your hair open and your upper body barely covered by the water, he already saw through your well-hidden secret. Or better said, your lie.

“You’re so dead.”

You can’t escape. In the matter of seconds, he is with you in the water and grabs your wrists roughly.

“You lied into our faces this whole time?”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

“I had to-“

“You’re nothing but a little girl!”

“You left me-“

“What else do you have to hide? Are you even a demon slayer? I’m totally in the mood to kill you right on the spot-“

“YOU LEFT ME NO CHOICE”, you finally blurt out.

“No choice? Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

“Tengen-sama treated me like porcelain because I’m a woman, but I didn’t want that! I wanted to train like the boys do, I wanted to suffer like everyone else! How am I supposed to become a decent swordswoman when everyone goes easy on me because of my gender!?”

“You…You lied to us.”

“I did.”

“You aren’t a guy.”

“I’m not.”

Thick silence hangs between both of you, only interrupted by sharp and heavy breaths. What now? Will he send you away in dishonor or even worse, exclude you from the corps completely? You’ve worked so hard to even get accepted, poured your heart and soul into those past days. All of this, vanishing in thin air?

“Please don’t send me away”, you finally press out.

“Are you dumb? Ain’t no way I’m letting you stay-“

“I can’t return home in dishonor. I did all of this to be able to protect my family and village. If I return home like this…”

You can’t finish your sentence, your throat suddenly feeling so tight that you even fail to breathe.

“Get out of my sight.”

“But I-“

“I said get out of my sight!”, he screams on top of his lungs.

You flinch backwards and almost trip into the water. Talking doesn’t do much. If you’re not leaving the next few seconds, he might drown you.

With a heavy heart you leave the water, carefully hiding behind a tree until you’re fully dressed again.

“What’s your real name?”, he shouts towards you harshly.

“My name is (y/n)”, you mutter, not daring to look into his cold eyes.

And then you stumble back. Back into the dormitory you know so well by now. Back into what might be the last night at the demon slayer corps for you.

“Remember that skilled guy you told me about?”, Sanemi mumbles while staring at the ground.

“Yeah. What about him?”

“It’s not him. She’s a fucking girl that pretended to be a guy.”

It still feels like a feverish dream. Why did nobody realize sooner? Not even himself…God, he’s such an idiot for not throwing you out instantly. You lied straight into his face, you lied to the whole demon slayer corps all this time. You deserve to leave, you deserve all that hatred and disgust.

“That’s actually quite impressive. How did you find out?”, Obanai comments dryly.

“I caught her bathing. Said she didn’t want to get differently because she’s a girl.”

Just the thought of seeing you there lit by nothing but moonlight, your long hair draped like a veil around you and your female curves he didn’t even know existed…

“That are some unexpected news. Do the others know?”

“I won’t tell ‘em. I’ll kick her out the corps when I return.”

“Why kicking her out? No matter if boy or girl, you can’t deny she’s the most promising one until now. Why not keeping her?”

“Keeping her?”, Sanemi repeats in sheer disbelief.

“Ain’t no way I’ll ever speak to a filthy little liar like her again.”

“Her plan worked, though. And I hate to admit it, but she did pretty good.”

Sanemi’s furious eyes dart towards Obanai in nothing but frustration. You fooled every single hashira until now. You hold so much potential that eventually…Would you survive as his tsugoko?

“I’ll leave”, he finally speaks out before turning his back on Obanai and storming away.

What the hell is he supposed to do?

How utterly dumb you feel sitting on that porch with your wet hair still open in the cool breeze far past midnight. You have no idea where he went, if he’s out to inform the head of the corpse about your behavior or even worse, your own family. Is it too early to pack your few belongings, to leave before he comes back? You definitely can’t stand another round of getting yelled at by the wind hashira.

“What are you doing here outside, brat?”

Fuck. He steps out of the darkness like an unpromising shadow with his face as hard as stone.

“I can’t sleep anyway”, you murmur.

“I’m so fucking mad at you for shitting me like this. Pretending you’re a guy while you’re just a girl.”

“I’m not just a girl”, you clarify sharply.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re a lying little brat but-“

He takes a deep breath in while sitting down next to you.

“But you’ve got what it takes. I’ve been looking for a decent tsugoko for quite some time now and-“

You can’t believe your ears. This man can’t possibly be the wind hashira you know by now, the man who looked like he’ll drown you any minute just a few hours ago. He can’t suggest to take you in as his tsugoko, right? There’s absolutely no way this man wants to train you on a regular basis-

“And maybe you’re that decent fit.”

Oh.

“Me, as your tsugoko”, you repeat his words in order to make them sound real.

“I’ll still kick your ass for lying into my face like that, though”, he adds aggressively.

Never in your life would you ever dreamed of being the apprentice of a hashira. You always worked hard, always made sure to develop your skills with everything you do, but being considered a tsugoko? Of the wind hashira, who never takes in a student? Who seems so rough and cruel but allowed you to handle your katana even better?

“I’d love that”, you finally breathe out.

“I’m beyond thankful you’re e-“

“Shut up immediately. A yes is enough. You’ll stay here with me, then.”

“Y-yes, Shinazugawa-sama!”

“No go to sleep, I can’t beat your ass when you’re tired”, he mumbles before getting up and leaving while your feelings are still over the place.

You, the tsugoko of Sanemi Shinazugawa?

-a few months later-

“Gimme your best shot now, brat!”, he barks at you.

Sweat runs down your forehead like a waterfall, your heavy panting tasting like blood. Just one more hit, one more strike and you’ll get him.

“Thunder breathing, fourth form-“

“Too slow”, he comments next to your ear.

Within the split of a second, you find yourself just inches away from the dirty ground with Sanemi’s arms keeping you from falling.

“Still not fast enough. Do it again.”

Mindlessly, he still drops you into the dirt with his sword casually draped over his shoulder.

You lift yourself off the ground with trembling limbs. There you are again, deep within your trip to hell and back. What you expected when agreeing on being the tsugoko of Sanemi Shinazugawa?

You grab the handle of your sword even tighter and storm towards just like you did hundreds of times before with the smallest of smiles creeping up your features.

Well, exactly that.

-steaming hot bonus: meeting in the lake at night-

You allow the cool water to caress your countless wounds gently. How good it feels to finally bathe every single day instead of once every few days. When the truth came out and everyone started to realize that you aren’t a boy, you regained a part of your freedom along with the merciless training of the wind hashira. Each and every day, he tortured you and others with his cruel training methods before you slide into the lake before the sun sets and go straight back to sleep.

Not today, though. It has to be almost midnight by now, the stars in the sky glimmering so magnificent that you can’t look away. Sanemi allowed you to visit your family and friends today. As you have learned, demon attacks have subsided since the sister of Tanjiro Kamado mastered the sun. And even though that means your loved ones will be safe, you can’t deny the slight turn of your guts. This means a war is around the corner, that Muzan Kibutsuji himself might come for all of you.

But this is nothing you should think about now. Not when you just returned and desperately longed for a bath. You dip your head into the cold water, moan to yourself as the water surrounds you fully-

“What the hell are you doing here, brat?”

Sanemi.

Out of instinct you cry out while burying everything except for your head inside the dark water. You’re butt-naked. How long has he been here already? And…has he seen you? Suddenly your whole body feels hot against the cool water around, cheeks turning dark red.

“Calm down, idiot-“

“How long have you been here already!?”

“What? I’m always taking a bath around this time. You’re the one who shouldn’t be here”, he clarifies dryly.

There he stands. Droplets of water run down his bare chest and almost make him shimmer in the moonlight. His wet hair stick to his face so delicately that you can’t force yourself to look away. He looks…hot.

Hot?

“I-uh…I just returned from…home”, you stutter.

“Hope your family is fine”, he mumbles along with slicking his hair back.

Within these past months, you’ve caught a glimpse of Sanemi you’ve never witnessed before. This man isn’t as cruel as everybody makes him look, his words aren’t always meant as harsh as they sound. Sanemi has a very tender side. Especially when his eyes soften for the blink of a moment, you couldn’t help but feel lost.

“They are. Apparently, the incidents with demons involved lessened when I departed”, you press out.

God, you’re acting ridiculous and you know it. Sanemi is your teacher, your training partner. Even though you’re living under the same roof (he even gave you an own room), there aren’t any romantical feelings between both of you.

“Good to hear. I’ll let you rest a little tomorrow morning. You have to be dead tired.”

“I’m fine”, you lie in an instant.

Truth is, you’re so drained out that the water is the only thing that’s able to keep your knees for failing you at the moment. Not only from your journey, but all those countless harsh training sessions, dueling yourself over and over with Sanemi and the others. But you’d never admit it, would never say it out loud.

“You’re probably the baddest liar out there. Your cheeks are red as hell, (y/n)”, Sanemi comments dryly.

You don’t dare to move when he stretches out his hand. Enough to gently caress your cheek, enough to cause an explosion in your stomach.

Did Sanemi just touch you? Tenderly?

“I…N-no…I…”

You can’t find the words. In fact, you are too distracted to care about something like words. Slowly but surely, he draws closer with his perfectly formed chest exposed to your hungry eyes.

“(y/n), I…There’s actually something I wanted…Well…Fuck!”

Is that really Sanemi Shinazugawa, stumbling over his own words? And why is it him who’s blushing at the moment?

These past few months made it really easy for you to actually respect the wind hashira. Not only his frightful skills when handling the sword, but just him. Him, when he’s brushing the fur of the cat that visits his estate from time to time. Him, when he tucks you into your blanket when assuming you’re already asleep. Him, when checking on you in his own unique way.

How ridiculous to even think about him like that, to even allow your heart to jump up and down in joy. But you can’t help yourself. Despite the way you despised him when the two of you first met, you really started to love this man with all your heart.

“(y/n), you’re a pretty decent women”, he begins again while drawing closer.

“Well, I…Thank you?”

A decent woman? Is that what he thinks about you?

“I still can’t believe you lied to me about being a girl, though”, he barks at you.

Oh.

You hate the way your heart drops. Were you really dumb enough so think he might have something to say, that he might tell you he has feelings for you as well? How ridiculous, how absolutely dumb.

“I think I should get going. It’s been a long day”, you mumble.

It’s probably the best to get away from here as soon as possible. But just when you start moving towards the shore, his hand grabs your arm tightly and twirls you around.

Right against his bare chest.

“Don’t you dare leaving now, brat”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

“I…there’s something I wanna tell you…”

“Why are you acting like a child?”, you finally spit at him yourself.

Oh, you’re having enough of all those ups and downs. Especially today, when you’re totally drained out already. You really don’t have the nerve for him to pick on you again, not when his last statement lies like a heavy stone in your stomach-

“Acting like a child?”, he challenges you.

Just before his lips crash into yours.

Longingly, Sanemi wraps his strong arms around you, devours you against his body while all you’re able to do is holding onto his broad shoulders for dear life.

This…is really happening, right? This is really Sanemi, pressing his lips against yours over and over again while your naked skin brushes against his?

“You’re fucking driving me insane, brat”, he mumbles against your lips before grabbing you even tighter.

“Since the moment I realized you aren’t a boy.”

He grabs you by your waist firmly, your naked skin rubbing against his sixpack almost making you lose everything that’s left of your self-control.

“I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your hands wander around his biceps, feel the deep valleys of his muscular back. God, this feels so good – almost too good to be true. But even if this is nothing but a dream, you’ll enjoy every minor movement, every sweet moment until you open your eyes again.

But when you do, you don’t find yourself in the comforting darkness of your room. No, his eyes glimmer like molten iron when staring down at you in the moonlight, his hot breath brushing against your wet face so seductive that you threaten to lose your balance.

“Still saying I’m acting like a child, brat?”

[mrsbarnesblog]

Hi!! I love your work, if your ok with it can you do Sub! Rafe?? He basically just lets the reader top him but he starts getting all subby on her and cries bc of how good it feels.

masterlist ko-fi ao3

requests are open

word count: 2.1k.

warnings: smut, sub Rafe, p in v, blow job, unprotected sex, tying up, multiple orgasms, creampie

a/n: let's fucking gooo. I have been WAITING for someone to ask me to write this because I love, love, love subby Rafe. so thank you for the request and hope you'll like this one😘

“Just let me try it one time, please.” You looked up at your boyfriend and gave him the best puppy eyes, knowing that no matter how much he refused, he could never tell you no. “You’ll like it, and if you don't, you can just say a word and I’ll stop.” 

“I won’t like it.” Rafe grumbled, rubbing his forehead in frustration. You were asking him to let you be on top, to control everything, and especially him, for the first time. He was scared to let someone do that to him, but at the same time, the smallest part of him craved it crazily. “But we can try.”

You squeaked in happiness, then reached up to hold the back of Rafe’s neck to bring him into the heated kiss. The atmosphere in the room quickly shifted when you started moaning into each other's mouths, with hands gripping whatever body part they could find. 

You slowly bucked Rafe closer to the bed, then pushed him back on the plush blanket. He grumbled again, but still obediently moved up and was laid back on the pillow, clearly waiting for you. 

With a teasing smile on your face, you took his leather belt off the floor and straddled him. “Gimme your hands.” You lowered your body, giving Rafe a quick peck on the lips, and started fixating his hands to the metal headboard. 

The position that you were in gave Rafe an amazing look at your tits, which were spilling out of your bra behind your silk robe. He licked his lips, at that moment not even caring about anything else; his eyes were too focused on your body right in front of his face. 

You pulled back, making sure that his hands were secure and he couldn’t free himself without your notice, then took a second to admire your boyfriend. Rafe was now all yours, laying under you without a shirt on and only in your favorite gray sweatpants. Your eyes trailed down his body, gawking at his shoulders, biceps, chest and abs. Just looking at it made you go into a spiral. 

“Now… I’m going to do everything that you always do with me, and if you’re being good, you’ll get a reward.” You tilted your head to the side playfully, your nails scratching his toned skin from his neck down to the belly button, feeling the way muscles twitched under your fingers. 

Rafe wasn’t fully listening to you, to be honest. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, the image of you sitting on top of him, your robe high on your thighs and almost exposing your boobs, was making him painfully hard. 

“Take it off. I need to see you.” He demanded as usual, already feeling agitated with the way he couldn’t take control of everything like he used to. 

“You’re not giving orders right now. Ask nicely and I’ll think about it.” Rafe's hands moved unconsciously as he tried to touch you, but the belt stopped him. You smirked, leaning lower until your lips were right above his chest. You kissed his heated skin while looking him in the eyes, moving lower and lower until you reached the hem of his sweatpants. 

“Baby, please.” He breathed out desperately. 

Not giving in, you trailed your nail right above his pants, making his hips twitch upwards in search of more contact. 

“You said you wouldn't like it, hm?” You arched an eyebrow, pointing to the very obvious bulge. Rafe huffed and his face was slightly flashed. He was too stubborn to admit it, but seeing the actual reaction of his body was everything you needed to know. “Ask me politely, Rafe.” 

“Touch me.” He breathed out, closing his eyes, and once again tested the belt’s hold on his hands. “Please. I need it.” 

“Mhm, so you can be nice?” Sliding your fingers under the waistband, you finally pulled his pants and boxers down his legs. His cock, painfully hard and with a leaking tip, bounced against his lower abdomen and you couldn’t help but wrap your hand around it. 

Rafe moaned at your touch, throwing his head back against the pillow and then biting on the flesh of his stretched-out bicep. The next thing he felt was your soft tongue licking him from the bottom up, focusing and swirling around his swollen head. 

“Fuck! Shit—don't tease me like this, baby.” With parted lips and hooded eyes, he looked down at you, and the image alone of you standing on your hands and knees with his cock in your mouth could send him into space. Maintaining eye contact, you used your tongue exactly like you knew he liked until Rafe couldn’t hold back anymore and you heard that pretty whining noise. “I’m close—“

As soon as you heard these words, you pulled away, leaving him on the edge and desperate for more. “Oh, I’m sorry, but you’re not getting it that easily.” You finally untangled the silk belt of your robe, letting it freely slide down your arms. Rafe drooled at the sight in front of him, taking in every inch of your exposed skin. 

Never in his life had he wanted something so desperately, like he wanted to touch you right now. It was the sweetest torture to see your perfect body right in front of his hungry eyes but not being able to feel it. 

“I need to touch you. Please, let me do it.” He mumbled, his pupils dilated and his eyes were much darker than before. Rafe pulled his hands again, making metal cling against metal, but you just shook your head. 

“You can only watch; no touching, baby.” You observed the way his eyes got shut tightly, head pushed against the pillow and he huffed, mumbling something incoherent. You’ve never seen Rafe act like this, being so open and emotional, so vulnerable infront of you. The way he needed you made you squeeze your thighs on either side of his body as another wave of arousal washed over you. “I’ll make you feel good.” 

Finally unclipping your bra, you maneuvered to pull your panties down your legs, then returned back on top of Rafe. His cock was placed right next to your pussy, just barely touching your sensitive folds. 

Your hand wrapped around him again, pumping his cock a few times, before slightly moving up and sliding the mushroom head against your pussy lips. 

“Oh fuck—“ Rafe moaned, looking down there with hooded eyes. He was leaking with precum and your movements only made it mix with your wetness and glister on his length. Your mouth slightly opened, moaning too, when his cock finally got caught in your entrance and with one smooth motion, he slipped inside. 

It was euphoric. 

“Oh my god, Rafe! You feel so good inside.” You pressed your hands on Rafe’s abs, testing your ability to move on him without any help. He filled you perfectly, stretching you to the brim and hitting all the right places, making you throw your head back in delight. You moved up, leaving only the tip, and then pushed down with a loud slap of the skin. 

“No-no-no, holy shiiit.” It happened before you could register it, but with a few circular motions of your hips, Rafe’s cock twitched inside of you and you felt a familiar, warm feeling inside of you. With your mouth open in shock, you looked down, seeing the evidence of Rafe’s orgasm on your thighs as his cum started sliding down around his cock. Then you looked back at him seeing even more flushed cheeks and glossy eyes. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t stop myself—“ 

During the whole time that you were dating, Rafe had never finished before you, always dragging a few orgasms out of you, not to mention that it had never happened that fast. Always so determined to make you feel good, he could hold back for hours, just enjoying teasing you. But thinking that you could pent him up to the point when he couldn’t control his body, made you want to do to him the dirtiest things. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” You soothed him, leaning forward to reach his face and distracting him with a kiss. Your pussy spasmed around his softened cock, making you both moan in each other's mouths. “I need you to give me another one, baby.” You straightened back, teasingly moving your ass in a circle and observing Rafe’s reaction. 

He whined—he literally whined at the overstimulation, trying to move his cock away while at the same time craving more. The headboard squeaked under his strong pulls, barely able to restrain Rafe’s desires. He wanted you. He wanted you so fucking badly. To just put his hands on your body, roll you on your back and fuck the living shit out of you. He wanted to make that aching feeling in the pit of his stomach go away, because even though he just came, he needed more and it was killing him. 

“Fuck yourself on me. Use me.” 

“Mmm, you’re so sweet when you’re begging me, Rafey.” You teased, now feeling his fully erect cock giving you so much-needed fullness again. With your hands on his chest, you started bouncing up and down, swirling your hips to drag more moans and groans out of Rafe. “You’re feeling me up exactly the way I need it. Always so good for me, baby. Such a good boy.”

“Y-yeah, I’m good for you, and I need to feel you cumming around me.” You nodded eagerly, quickening your pace. His brows kneaded in concentration and eyes got laser-focused on the place where you two were connected. Seeing his cum, mixed with your wetness, dripping down his shaft and smirging all over yours and his things was more than Rafe could handle. “‘s too much—“ 

“I’m gonna cum. Cum with me, baby. I need to feel how you fill me up again. Can you be good and do that for me?” Your hand reached to Rafe’s face, gripping his jaw until you felt him nod back to you. His eyes suddenly became more reddish, showing off your favorite blues in contrast with tears on his waterline. His lips parted again as he seemingly got closer to his second orgasm. 

You clenched around his cock, slightly moving forward to align your clit with his pelvis to create perfect friction. Your bounces got sloppier and less accurate as the blood-rushing noise in your ears became more and more noticeable. 

You both came almost at the same time, moaning each other’s names in bliss. He shot rope after rope of hot semen up your quivering pussy, encouraging you to keep moving and squeezing him. Your cunt was milking every last drop, as you felt extremely greedy to get everything that you could. 

Looking up, you saw Rafe with tightly shut eyes and tears rolling down his cheeks. He was panting, trying to catch a breath and clenching his fists against the restraints. You fell forward on his sweaty chest, reaching up to unbuckle the belt. 

The second Rafe’s hands were free, he put them on your body, touching, gropping and claiming you again, despite the pain of being in an uncomfortable position for too long. He finally sprawled them on your back, not letting you move even for an inch. 

After spending at least ten minutes in that exact position, with his balls deep in you, and in complete silence, you both couldn’t believe what just happened. When the fog finally cleared out of his brain, Rafe slightly pushed you to lay face-to-face on your sides. 

“What the fuck have you done to me, baby?” He whispered against your skin. “You made me cum like a fucking teenager who had his first sex.”

“I just showed you that you don’t have to always be in charge of everything. I can take care of you too.” You pushed Rafe’s sweaty bangs away, throwing your leg over his hip so it would be more comfortable for him to stay in the warmth of your body. He trembled in your hands, hiding his face in your hair and breathing in your scent.

You knew that he felt vulnerable and exposed at that moment, so you didn’t say anything further, just giving Rafe some comfort with your touch and presence. 

[pepperyduck]

growing old with kento nanami, pt. 2

word count: 3.5k

warnings: having kids, raising kids, naming kids after lost loved ones, descriptions of growing old, like actually growing old and having grandchildren, descriptions of body changes after birth, dad nanami, no angst in this one just living a happy life with husband nanami :3 (18+ mdni!)

notes: i love u all sm, i am giving this man the ending he deserves. now get ready bc i just went through a terrible breakup and must project it in my writing. much love!!!

part 1 | masterlist

nanami watched you with loving eyes as you laid in your hospital bed, exhausted and sleeping so peacefully after the delivery of your baby. your hair stuck to your face in messy patterns from all the sweat, your chest rose and fell on the perfect, comfortable beat. this time, he was sitting in the chair next to your bed, a book open and ready to be read, but kento’s eyes refused to skim the pages – you looked so beautiful. the room was quiet, only the soft buzzing of an air conditioner and beeping from one of the monitors stuck to you would infiltrate the silence. kento paid close mind whenever you began to stir, lightly fluttering your eyes open to look at him, oh so tired.

“good morning, beautiful,” kento cooed, closing his book to rest it on his thigh. he reached out his hand to lay it atop yours, a soft smile grazing his lips when he looked at you.

“hi,” you groaned, slightly rolling over and wincing when the sharp pain began to shoot through your body. kento’s brows furrowed whenever he saw your discomfort.

“how are you feeling?” he asked.

“tired…it hurts,” you muttered, closing your eyes again. kento’s thumb lightly grazed over the back of your hand, tracing the veins.

kento made sure the nurses that came to check on you administered some pain medicine, and after a while, you began to not be in as much torment as before. you were told you could go home in a day or two, after the pain subsides and the baby is evaluated to be in good health.

kento pushed you down the hallway in a wheelchair towards the nursery, and politely asked to see your baby. you cried so many tears of joy the moment your baby boy was settled in your arms, swaddled in a hospital blanket and sleeping gently. he was so beautiful, a spitting image of his father from the word go. even though he was tiny, and his features weren’t so defined, you could already see the resemblance.

“have you decided on a name yet?” the nurse sweetly asked, clipboard in hand with all your information. you and kento swapped looks for a moment, obviously unprepared for the question. for a minute, you thought in your mind about all the names you discussed, finally landing on one that would be thoughtful and fitting.

“what about ‘yū’ kento?” you suggested, looking up at your husband for his approval.

the gesture of naming his son after his passed best friend made kento a little sad, but he knew haibara would be proud and so happy, so he nodded his head in agreement.

“yes, yū. that’s perfect.”

taking care of such a tiny human came so naturally to kento. he was easily able to balance work on top of making sure the baby was okay. for the first few months, it seemed as if yū would always cry when he was with you, until kento finally would pick him up and settle the baby in his arms. kento had taken an adequate amount of time off from work, working only 3-4 days a week, he made sure you had enough time to rest in between taking care of the baby for days at a time.

after a while, yū began to calm down, reverting into a happy, smiley, giggly baby. you felt more comfortable taking care of him on your own without kento there. so, in return, kento began working even more, picking up his normal 40-hour work week. since you had moved cities, you hadn’t found a stable job yet, but that was okay. because kento wanted to take care of you. he wanted to be the one to take care of his family.

so, you let him. he provided as much as possible for you and your child, all the while ensuring he wasn’t overworking himself in the process. he wanted to live a happy life, after all, he was never going to revert back to the ways of his 24-year-old self; working impossible hours and remaining exhausted 24/7.

since yū had began to grow older, hitting the year-old mark in the blink of an eye, you came to realize that you only took care of him. not that you minded, of course, you loved your baby. but you were less active, and it showed on your body. more and more, you looked in the mirror to find the pregnancy weight still latched on to you, the body you once had just didn’t seem to be there. you knew your husband should be the one to talk about insecurities, sure, but with all the surgeries he went through, and all he did to improve his health; you thought he looked just as ravishing as the day you met him. he did look just as handsome, even with the scars covering half of his body. he was simply a beautiful man.

and you began to feel undeserving. ugly. lesser than the person you were married to. and for what? because of some baby weight? it was natural. so why did you feel so increasingly terrible about yourself as time went on? you worked out, you stayed as healthy as possible; but it was like nothing was going to let you get back to how you looked before the baby.

you were looking in the mirror in your bathroom, a huge one, just like you dreamed of. but the large size of the mirror only gave you more sight into your own reflection. a reflection that filled you with disgust. you frowned at the weird shape and size of your tummy, or at least the shape you thought was weird, and the way your face seemed chubbier, and your thighs had grown in size.

“hey, honey,” kento greeted you, walking around the frame of the bathroom door. his sights were immediately infiltrated with the picture of his gorgeous wife, with her sleep shorts tugged down below her stomach, endearing stretchmarks littering the skin that once carried his beloved son.

you tugged your shorts up quickly and replied to him, “hi, kento.” with a quick turn on your heel and a step forward, you planted a light peck on his lips. he smiled down at you, eyes glittering with the very glimpse of such a beautiful woman.

“what are you doing?” he asked, snaking an arm around your waist to pull you close. you sort of slumped your body against him, resting a head on his shoulder, and you sighed.

“do you think i look…different now?” you couldn’t stop yourself from asking the question, blurting it out as you rested against your husband. he pulled you away and rested his hands on your waist to look you in the eyes.

“what do you mean, hm?” kento’s thumbs grazed up and down your soft skin.

you looked back into the mirror, frowning once more at the silhouette your body created. with a pitiful tone, you began to speak, “my body. ever since i had yū, it’s just been…ugly. i feel ugly.” you described yourself with one of the most hurtful words and caused kento’s eyebrows to furrow as he looked at you.

ugly? how dare his own wife speak about his wife that way. because, in his eyes, you were the most breathtaking individual on the planet. in the universe, actually. sure, he had noticed the changes of your body – the changes that came from you growing a human being inside of you, single-handedly giving him the best gift he’s ever received. if anything, he loved the changes of your body, somehow your skin became even softer to him, contrasting his rough hands perfectly.

“i’m sorry,” you apologized, noticing your husband’s glare once you looked back up at him. he shook his head.

“don’t apologize, i understand.” kento comforted you, bringing a sweet hand up to your cheek to pull you in for a soft kiss. once he pulled back, he ran a thumb over your cheek, “do you want to know what i think, sweetheart?”

brows furrowing, you looked up at him with a confused expression, “think about wh-,” he cut you off with another kiss to the lips. he skimmed his lips over different parts of your face, planting light pecks over all the skin.

“i think,” kento’s lips trailed down your neck slowly, then to each off your shoulders, beginning down one of your arms. “i have,” his kisses didn’t waver as he made his way down your arm, giving a firm kiss to the back of your hand as he held it, kneeling down. “the most,” he smiled up at you before focusing on your tummy, kissing the shirt that laid atop your soft skin, trailing all over your abdomen.

“beautiful wife in the world.”

you giggled at his gesture, the laugh soon faltering because kento’s stare on you was full of complete seriousness. the things that kento thought were always fact, never fiction, you should’ve known that. so yes, what he said was true. it would always be true in his eyes, too. always.

with all the intimacy conjured in the bathroom, that was the night you got pregnant with your second child, a daughter named mayu.

parenthood came with its own highs and lows as your children grew. your daughter loved her father til’ the earths end, always opting to stay under his arm whenever he was home. mayu had taken more of your looks this time, not quite the spitting image like yū was to your husband, but enough to tell that you were her mother. she was full of energy and happiness and took on a sassy personality from a young age. yū, however, was very emotional and laidback compared to his sister. it was quite funny how much their personalities showed, even when they were unable to talk. but as they began to grow up and adopt certain mannerisms, their personalities began to bloom even more.

as kento got older, he had gained just a tiny amount of weight, filling out his muscular form even more. his abs slowly faded with time, turning into a less-defined version of themselves. and your favorite part about kento growing older was his hair. once your children reached 3 and 5, kento had reached a good 35, turning 36 soon, little grey pieces began to pepper themselves into his hairline, shining brightly in between the blonde strands. he began to have small crow’s feet in the outsides of his eyes, and smile lines from the amount of smiling he did with you.

on yū’s first day of school, kento had to hold you as you sniffled back tears, watching your oldest boy walk through the front doors of the school. he held his arm around your shoulders and waved his son off, shushing you and saying he will only be gone until 3 p.m. little did you know, kento had to hold back his own tears, because in that moment he felt so accomplished as a father, even though that was only the beginning of yū’s journey.

not to worry, though, because on mayu’s first day – your husband cried like a baby seeing his daughter walk off into school, nervous for the first time in her life.

the first few years of your children’s school life were smooth sailing. yū and mayu alike made many friends and looked at school in a positive light. you and kento never got tired of their endless stories – about a game they played or a lesson they learned or a book they read. every little art project and 100 on a test decorated the fridge. kento made sure to teach them both about the importance of schooling and how to remain at the top of their class, along with balancing the increasing schoolwork the older they got.

it wasn’t until yū hit middle school that things began to go downhill.

neither you nor kento thought that your children would be able to see curses. only one of you was a sorcerer, and kento was the only one in his family that was able to be a sorcerer, too. but when kento took him to a bakery, yū saw the same creature as his father crawling around on the floor, eliciting an ear-shattering scream – kento felt doomed.

“what do you think we should do?” you questioned, leaning against the counter as your husband sat at the kitchen table, lips pursed beneath intertwined fingers pressed on the lower half of his face.

“i do not want him to be a sorcerer,” kento stated, a stern tone in his voice, “but he…he’s…i don’t know if we can stop it.” your husband sounded defeated at the statement.

he could only ask himself why this had to happen to him of all people; someone that had run away from jujutsu twice now. you and kento both decided to wait until your children were older to explain it all, and where all their uncles and aunts and family friends came from, but at the time, it all seemed inevitable but to give some sort of explanation.

so, of course, he called one of the people he trusted – and now respected – the most.

“nanami!” gojo squealed as soon as the front door was opened, revealing the still tall and lanky satoru. kento seemed to still be annoyed by his presence, yet inside he was thankful for his friend to show up on such short notice. gojo had been around your children some, obviously, but you and kento tried to keep your distance because of how dangerous it all was.

after giving satoru the rundown of the past days’ events, you sent mayu off to a friend’s house and sat yū in the living area with all the adults. until that point, he had no explanation as to what he saw in the bakery. but with ease, just as everything was with gojo, he gave yū the clarification needed to understand he had a special gift, and to use it wisely. kento made up his mind as to not scare your son by telling him about how he got all those scars, saving that for a later date. yū still didn’t understand everything entirely, but ended up having some sort of grasp on his abilities. that was all that was needed.

you and kento collectively decided it would be yū’s choice when he was old enough to decide to become a sorcerer, with the help of gojo, of course.

fortunately, or unfortunately, for mayu, she would end up not having the same abilities as her father. it was sort of a blessing, only having to worry about one kid being raised to fight the second they turned 14.

the years spent waiting for yū to become old enough to decide about jujutsu felt like a ticking time bomb for you and kento. many, many nights were spent in the kitchen, talking endlessly about your concerns but also the upsides to having your son learn under one of kento’s most trusted partners. but the both of you became more honest with your son about the reality of going into jujutsu, the pros and cons of becoming a sorcerer, and how it could both positively and negatively affect his life.

ultimately, though, kento was the most relieved he’d ever been when your son gave his answer about becoming a sorcerer, a few days away from the end of middle school.

“uh, no, dad. it sounds way too dangerous. i want to go to college.” yū’s words came off as that of a normal, moody teenager, but in the end made a weight lift off you and your husband’s shoulders.

they say time flies when you’re having fun, and that was the truest of statements when it came to raising your children with kento. yū’s high school years approached quickly, mayu’s seemingly approached even faster, it was all a rush of images that remained in your head. the sports teams, never missing a thursday night game to cheer on your son from the stands, as he led his soccer team to the regional levels. the first time yū brought a girl home, with you and kento seemingly even more nervous to meet the sweet young lady that attached herself to your son’s arm. prom was so much fun, seeing your husband knot the same printed tie around his son’s neck that he wore in his sorcerer days, before taking a thousand photos of yū and his girlfriend. your son had the most elated, idiotic smile on his face once he opened the door to find his girlfriend dressed to the nines in a stunning dress, the same smile on his face when he came home after a fun night with his friends. and of course, graduation topped it all off, yū standing at the top of his class just like his father. both you and kento had to stifle back tears watching him walk across the stage.

mayu’s high school days were a flash as well, a very fond memory looking back. she remained with the same snappy and sassy personality, just as when she was little. mayu remained close with her father, but began to talk to you as she got older, needing advice for any decision she made. it made you feel like a proud mother, someone she wasn’t embarrassed of because even through her mood swings and bad days, she always found refuge in you. mayu became the student council president by her second year, running every school event like a ship, making sure to always get extra t-shirts for you and kento because you would always show up. while yū was away at college, mayu became your focus as you let your son navigate his way through life.

kento thought he was going to have a heart attack the second his beloved daughter said she had a boyfriend she wanted the both of you to meet. the night that boy rolled up in his car, knocking on the door frantically, kento put on a stern and serious face as he was the one to open the door. mayu came running up behind kento, to no avail, as her boyfriend was already bowing and then shaking your husband’s hand. he politely introduced himself, practically shaking with how intimidated he was by your husband. but the night went on smoothly, you had dinner together and found out more about mayu’s boyfriend and his aspirations. at the end of the night, after he had left and mayu went to bed, kento said he was an, “alright young man,” which was the biggest compliment if you were going to date his daughter.

mayu’s graduation was the time for kento to sob again, seeing his daughter get so much recognition for all she did for the school, feeling like the proudest dad of two children. yū had driven into town, sitting next to you and kento in the stands, a bouquet of flowers for his sister. mayu moved into her dorm only a few weeks later, leaving you and kento in an empty house, riddled with the memories of raising two beautiful, accomplished, important and thriving children.

it all went by too fast.

after your birds had successfully left the nest, you and kento spent all your time together once again. the days would mix up as he began to work less and less to prepare for his retirement. time flew by, aging you and your husband both, the wrinkles becoming delicately pronounced each year, the grey hairs eventually taking over all the blonde in his head. you spent your time reading, baking, and most of all, traveling as soon as kento’s last day at work hit.

you flew all around the world, visiting the most gorgeous and diverse cities alike, emerging yourselves in all the different cultures, practices, and kento’s favorite part – the food. you visited malaysia with him again, just as you did on your honeymoon, the love you felt all those years ago still present within you both. you walked along the beaches and toured all the spots you favorited on your honeymoon again.

your life with kento nanami was beautiful.

you lay in bed with your husband at your side, his peaceful yet loud snores endearing as he sleeps so soundly. tomorrow, your 25th wedding anniversary will be here. you’ll walk out on the porch of the beautiful condo kento bought after retirement with a cup of coffee for him. you’ll read a book as your husband basks in the view of the beach he longed for all his life. your children and their spouses will drive in around afternoon, and spend the weekend with you both, letting you get time in with yū’s new baby, your grandchild. you will mingle, laugh, maybe cry and reminisce in all the memories you and your husband built up over the course of decades. your house will be loud with the sounds of kids and family and friends, all there to celebrate the life you’ve had with your husband.

even if kento were to die the next day, or in a year, or in 10 years, something would always remain true.

kento nanami had successfully spent his life with his true love.

taglist: @kundere20000000 @missakward123 @cherriee-ee @lagataprrr @ourfinalisation @ynniksslirg

let me know if you want to be added!

[nouvxllev]

Could you possibly do a story where Tara and Y/N get caught in the middle of fucking by Sam??

(Can be Tara x Fem!Reader, Gp!Tara x Fem!Reader, or Tara x Gp!Reader.)

my sister!?

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x GP!Reader

Summary: request!! ^^

Words: 4k

Warnings/tags: immediate smut, pretend the carpenters have a house and not a shared apartment in new york, protective sam carpenter!!!!!, no ghostface au

a/n: writers block is KILLING me, feelin like i cant write shit

masterlist.

An innocent study night with Tara was impossible.

"Tara—Tara, oh f-fuck, you're taking me so well..."

The sight of Tara beneath you should be a sin of its own; tears stinging her eyes locked on yours with mascara running down her cheeks, her soft, abused lipstick-stained lips parting for pathetic notes of moans and whimpers. Strands of hair lay in a mess on her mattress you relentlessly ruined her on every night she asked of you to.

Every sound she made drove you to closer to insanity, knowing you could worship her everyday for every sin you committed since meeting her. The way her body responded to the slightest thrust was intoxicating, addicting—so fucking addicting. Her fingers clutched on her sheets as if they could help her, knuckles turning white.

Tara's eyes fluttered open after rolling back in pure ecstasy, letting out soft moans with your cock fitting so right and full inside of her. She was barely holding out on her own, you were just so fucking hot and sexy like this, who could blame her?

"More," she cried, voice trembling while she wrapped her arms around your neck to bring you closer, "Please—Fuck! Y/n, y/n, please I—"

She moaned your name as if it was a prayer, her voice alone making your knees weak. Her body arched into yours, seeking more—always for more. Even with your hands steady on her hips, she moved with a mind of her own in her cock-drunk state.

Your grip on her waist tightened, fingers almost bruising her perfect, soft skin as you buried yourself deeper inside her. Her name fell shamelessly from your lips as you felt an aching knot forming in your stomach.

"Tara—I'm so... fuck, m' so close..." you breathed, pupils blown out as you locked eyes with her. Her eyes, everything about her was desperate, fuck, you both were.

Tara—breathless and spent from being so stretched—nodded frantically, her lips pathetically opening and closing almost immediately as if she could say anything other than your name and soft moans.

"Close.. close, too." She gulped, breath hitching, eyes rolling to the back of her head, feeling every inch of you so deliciously deep inside of her. "Fuck, don't stop!"

You were so close, so close to feeling Tara's walls clenching against you that could make every sense in your body go dumb fucking weak and numb, your name dangerously on the tip of her tongue while she goes onto levels higher than cloud 9 as you help her ride out her orgasm.

Close, Tara's so close, so close, fuck, fuck fuck—

When you came, Tara came down hard. Her figure perfectly arched as you rocked your hips back and forth inside of her, the both of you falling into silent moans and hot breaths.

"Tara... are you alright? Shit, Tara, you feel so goo..."

A door opened.

"What the fuck."

Sam. Carpenter. Standing.

You. Tara. On. Bed.

Sam Carpenter, Tara Carpenter. Carpenters.

You. Not Carpenter. Definitely not after today.

Sisters. Right-

FUCK.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How batshit, totally and flat out embarrassing it would be to be caught having rough sex with your girlfriend in the middle of the night at her house when you're supposed to be studying?

No, it would be fine, very fine actually if it was one of the gang. Hell, you'd take Mindy or Chad any day opening the door to see you and Tara fucking around. You'd live with it and wear it like a fucking badge of honor.

If it wasn't her damn sister.

Sam already despised you for being Tara's girlfriend! You couldn't even hold her close for more than thirty seconds without Sam threatening to grab a hammer and bash your skull in.

What's even worse than that is how she led you both down stairs after awkwardly cleaning up and she's now pacing back and forth in front of the couch Sam pushed you on.

"Sam, you're being overdramatic, we're not those sex-obsessed teens that need counseling." Tara, arms crossed with an adorable pout (you'd defend that pout to your last breath), tackled before her sister could even say anything. "I'm 21 for fucks sake!"

"Oh, Tara, don't even get me started—You literally just turned into the legal drinking age two fucking weeks ago!" Sam stopped in her tracks, pointing at Tara with probably the most killer eyes a killer would kill.

"So—!?"

Sam cut her off before Tara could even say anything, her gaze now directed towards you. "And you," oh shit, you were in for it, "My sister!? That's very low of you, Y/n—"

"Oh, y/n was definitely going low on—"

"Yup, okay, no, stop—Tara." You quickly covered Tara's mouth with your hand before she could further damage your already very rocky relationship with Sam. Come on, you still wanted to be invited to Thanksgiving and Christmas!

"Sam." You took a deep breath, "I am truly sorry for… uhm… doing that. I know that you're being protective and I too would hang myself if I ever hurt Tara in anyway—"

"Mostly sexually." Tara chimed in the background, a shit-eating smirk on her face.

Sam tilted her head like some kind of horror movie scare, "Do you wanna explain what the fuck I just heard from my younger sister, y/n?"

"No, no! I haven't hurt Tara in that way, I swear—!"

"Probably because it felt so good."

You turned to Tara, face twisted for dear life, "Tara do you want my ass kicked or not!?"

Sadly for your long-lived lifespan, Sam was already towering over you.

"It was an accident, I promise, and I—!"

"So you just accidentally slipped and magically ended up being inside my sister for hours?"

Okay, maybe suicide really is the better option. How the fuck do you even respond to that!?

"I—" Fuck, shit, fuck, dick, how do you breathe!? "Well, I... I wouldn't phrase it like that—"

"You know the walls are thin?"

"Y..yes, I'm very sure and—"

"The whole damn house was barely holding up, I thought a fucking 9.8 magnitude earthquake started when I opened the door!"

"We... We are so sorry—"

"And you're also sure that I'd eventually slit your throat in half?"

"Sam, please, I really am s—"

"You know I have a fucking taser in my pocket? The only reason that's restraining me from using it because Tara's sees you as someone alright."

"...Uhm, sweet, but Sam—"

You would thank the heavens for such an assertive and a somehow kind of rebellious to her sisters wishes girlfriend by how Tara stood up so abruptly that a very poor and sad excuse of an excuse in your mind went away.

"You want an apology, Sam?" She tilted her head as she stepped forward, "I'll give you a fucking apology." You know, for a 5 foot nothing girl, she can definitely throw hands. Or words.

"We... are sorry. Actually, Y/n's—"

"Oh my god." You whined in the background.

"Y/n's very sorry for fucking—"

"Okay, no, stop." You interrupted immediately. Why the term!? Infront of her sister!?

"Having sex—!"

"No."

"Intercourse—!"

"No."

"Having... Having coitus—!"

"No, why the hell would you use that!?"

"Making love!"

"Best you could do."

"Y/n's very sorry for being so damn good making love to me in bed, making my mattress squeak louder than a fucking banshee with her cock ramming and giving me multiple orgasms that Danny can't even—!"

"Alllright, I'm stopping you before you get legally disowned at the age of 21" You grabbed Tara by her arms and lifted her up before your entire sex life with her comes tumbling down on your girlfriends sister.

The room was silent. Almost too silent, you swear you could go deaf if more than a second even passes by. Not even a rolling surge of tumbleweed could make it seem less awkward than it is. Even your dignity left.

That was until you heard Sam taking a deep breath.

Before you knew it, you were kicked out of the house with Tara's voice behind you literally defending by describing, in horrific detail, how good you were in bed until Sam shut her up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The walk home was and felt downright shameful, even the traffic lights refused to turn green for you. It's like you have a bindle attached to your palms to forever ingrain the memory of Sam's face while you were literally inches deep in Tara.

You crash into your apartment a minute later after fiddling with your keys, not even bothering to take off your coat. You just collapse onto the atleast comfortable carpet floor and let the mites decompose your entire body.

But not even god himself can let you mellow in your own embarrassment, sadness, awkwardness—literally all of the above—without your phone ringing at one of the worst times in your life. Soon you'll hope it'll be seven trumpets.

You blinked from your spot on the floor. It was too good and too much effort to even sit up properly and take the call.

With a soft groan, you roll over like a ragdoll, fumbling for your phone deep in your pockets. You were ready to decline right there and there, or maybe be a dick and answer just to hang up a second later after swearing at them.

Until you saw the name Tara Carpenter with a heart emoji beside it.

Of course, against your better judgment, you answer. How could you not?

"Can you come over?"

Tara's soft voice whispers over the phone, you can almost picture her twisting and turning on her bed, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

You sigh heavily, managing to croak out a response, "Tara... you know I can't—"

"Please?"

You swallow hard, heart pounding in your chest. She's using that voice that you're so sure could lead to you prison. You're just so glad you're not there in person to see her beautiful brown doe eyes.

You stand up abruptly, clearing your throat. "It's only been 30 minutes since Sam caught us and practically banished me from your home. How am I supposed to—"

"It’s like you’ve never snuck out before!"

"This time it’s serious, Tara! Pretty sure Sam literally hates my guts by now."

There's a pause that interrupts your thoughts, the line going completely silent, wondering if Tara got so irritated she actually hung up on you.

"...Tara?"

"I have windows." She responds, as if she's snapping her two fingers together, "You can sneak in through one."

You smiled. Of course she'd think of this now when all the times you've "snuck" in was through their door (surprisingly, it always worked in the middle of the night.)

"Thought Sam nailed them shut after hearing about a loose serial killer?"

"Found out it’s bullshit, just some teenagers having the trip to scare people for fun. Just—Please."

You roll your eyes, "Okay, well, I'm not going to risk my life—"

"You already are, I can hear you over the phone packing your shit."

Oh, how this girl knows you so well.

You zip up your bag while having your phone pinched between your ear and shoulder, "Yeah, see you in a bit."

The brunette chuckles over your words, you could already see her standing up and opening her window from the sounds you hear. Heavenly.

"Damn, you love me."

"Horribly. Say it back?"

"I will when you get here. Hurry, please."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took a long while to reach the Carpenters' house and even longer to actually go up to Tara's window. Climbing a nearby tree and swinging over like Tarzan was a real pain in the ass.

When you finally reach her window, you see Tara lying on her bed, headphones blaring so loudly you can hear the music from outside, plus she's wearing an oversized graphic tee that you're pretty sure is yours.

"Tara!" you call out, knocking on the side of the wall, your shoes gripping the bricks as you wait for her to notice your figure clinging onto a roof for dear life just outside.

Tara doesn't hear you at first, courtesy of the headphones you bought her for her 18th birthday. You knocked a bit louder, but not too loud Sam suspects something.

You have half a mind to just go in unannounced when Tara finally looks up and immediately rushes over your side.

"You know, it's actually harsh to keep a girl wai—"

You were wrapped between her arms before you could even finish.

Tara's lips met yours in a way you melt instantly beneath her breathless, parting her lips and tilting her head to give herself better access inside of you.

She's soft in your arms, yet so eager by how she's gripping the collar of your shirt and pulling you as if you could be any more entwined.

"You kept me waiting." She breaks only to whisper, words coming in a rasp with her breath hot on your lips as she draws you in for more of her.

You're dizzy, hazed, intoxicated, completely fucked by how her tongue presses on yours so painfully heavenly and her teeth nibbling on your bottom lip. You could stumble around your words if she let you to speak. Your hands could go nowhere but on their perfect place on her waist.

Her fingers trail against your skin, tangling within the strands of hair only to pull you more closer to her, forcing your head to tilt at an angle that could make her invade all the right places inside of you.

You sigh in her mouth before regrettably pushing her away, "You wanted to see me?"

Tara's lips curve as she she presses herself against you, her hands traveling from your chest to your face, brushing her fingers gently against your cheek. The mere motion sending cold shivers down your spine that reminds you of your cock slowly growing beneath layers of fabric.

"Fuck that, I needed you." She murmurs, your heart running faster than the way her breathing goes after making out with you. Her hands seemingly wanting nothing more than to roam over your body, tracing all the way down to palm your growing erection underneath your shorts.

A low groan escaped your lips, yours hands finding their way down to softly cup the curve of her ass. "Tara please, don't..."

"Hm," she hums softly, brown eyes filled with nothing but lost gazing directly at your own, "You know I can't resist you, especially when I have you like this," Her voice is teasing. Tantalizing, even, marked with an innocent smile on her face as if she's not an inch away of giving you a handjob.

A chaste peck on your lips was enough for you to spiral and your dick to throb from its clothed prison, her fingers tracing lazy circles around your cock until she stopped at the dip of the waistbands of your shorts.

"You wanna fuck me first, or should I take the lead?"

Your mind raced, cock twitching from her voice alone, words spent while your breathing was anything but calm, pupils blown out and dilated as you looked at the brunette. But there's only one answer that she needed from you.

Without a word, your hands slid under her thighs, effortlessly lifting her up from the floor and straddling her figure down to her ass at your arms, earning a startled hum from the girl.

Her arms went around your neck, one hand trailing from your nape to the strands of your hair, pulling your head closer to her, meeting your lips in an immediate kiss that had Tara moaning and desperately bucking her hips.

You carried her to bed with her legs wrapped tightly around your waist while her hands lingered on your neck, fingers delicately tracing your jawline while she ravished your mouth alone.

Tara was sloppy with you, kisses so wet and desperate, her tongue exploring every inch of your mouth. She was filthy by how she gazed at you with eyes as if she was innocent, how she let her fingers roam your body in all the right places that had your dick leaking.

With a soft groan, you laid her down on the bed, your hands moving to grip her hips as she continued to explore your mouth, not once did she pull away. Not even to spare a breath.

But, you surrendered to her, pulling her away with a string of saliva connecting your lips together.

Fuck, she looked divine.

A sight you always saw in the middle of the night, yet not even the light could take you away from her. Lips stained with mixed saliva from the both of you. Even with your own inches away, her lips stay parted as she pants for air.

It took you a while before you even noticed Tara and you were completely naked, the small girl revealing to be wearing nothing the whole time you were there.

"Shit, Tara. You were wearing nothing but my shirt?" You rasped, breathing heavily while you placed your arms in between her head to push yourself up.

She smiled, chuckled even as she looked at you, hands traveling from your neck down to your chest, "You know I love putting on a show for you, baby." She winked as her fingers ghosted over your nipples, touch so warm and delicate before sliding lower, tracing the lines of your abs. "Fuck, you're so hot like this."

You shivered underneath her touch, even forgetting you were the one who brought her to such a state, yet you were the one who looked pathetic. Whining and completely whimpering on top of her.

You swallow hard, trying to maintain even the slightest bit of dignity and control. "Tara," you whisper, "You're driving me crazy."

She giggles softly, "Good," she murmurs before grasping your wrist and guiding your hand to the waistband of your shorts. "That's exactly what I want to do. Just fuck me, please."

You couldn't hold back any longer as you pulled down your shorts, boxers sliding down your waist as your aching cock springing out, slapping against your chest while it stood tall and hard for seven inches.

Your hand slipped between your bodies to grasp the throbbing length, tip dripping with pre-cum as your thumb grazed over the slit. "Wanna see how good you take me, Tara." You wrapped your fingers around your cock, stroking it up and down as you guided it along her slick folds. "Fuck, you're soaked."

"Stop… Stop teasing, please, oH GOD!"

Tara's hands frantically had a tight grip on your shoulders as you shoved every inch of you inside of her, breath erratic as she tried to suppress every moan down in her throat, her back arching off the bed as you penetrated her so deep

The intense stretch made her eyes flutter open, rolling into the back of head, letting out tears from the pain as her toes curled in pleasure.

You weren't holding up either, she took you so well, her red velvety and slick walls tightening around your cock drove you into a haze. Her nails leaving red marks in their wake on your back, the atmosphere filled with the sounds of skin against skin, gasps and moans of pleasure from Tara increasingly getting louder.

"F-fuck… Oh, fuck!" She gasped, moving her hips to the rhythm of her trusts as you grabbed both of her legs and pulled her closer to you, "Yeah.. Yeah, right there baby!"

All you could think about were her soft moans, face crying from a mixture of pain and pleasure from being stuffed to the brim, keeping a steady pace that had her a moaning mess on your hands.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know, Sam always had weird dreams. Weirder than the next, gory than anything from the amount of horror movies she watched along with her younger sister, Tara.

Anything you could do to Sam, she would barely give one or two fucks. Scary movie? More of a boring sit-com that tries to give characters motive and plot some development. Jumpscare her? Reality or movies, either way, you're getting a jumpscare yourself by a hospital bill after she's done with you.

She fears nothing. Except when she woke up just now, hearing her younger sisters voice down the hallway from her room.

Oh my fucking, GOD.

She hopes it'll be a dream, she'd take anything but this. Ever since Tara got a girlfriend, you were nothing but a pain in the ass for her. I mean, she trusts you, sure, but not that enough.

The older Carpenter gets up almost immediately, eyebrows furrowed while her heart heaved with anger. And most probably wrath, and an apology to Tara if she ever found out that her girlfriend was bashed on the skull by her sister.

Every walk she made, the noises got louder yet softer. By the time she was at her door, the noises dropped. Was it all a dream? A nightmare maybe? She'd take that any day.

"Tara!" She yelled out as she took notice of the light illuminating on the creaks of her room., softly knocking on her door. Even if you were there, it's still a 50/50 chance that Tara's actually sleeping. Or sleepwalking even.

She waits for a second.

Then two.

Three.

Four—Okay, no, she's opening the damn door.

She turns the doorknob and immediately bursts into the room. Her eyes scanning the space for any signs of you.

There doesn't seem to be anything.

Her eyes immediately spotted Tara. Or maybe half of her peeking out of the soft blanket with a pillow in between her legs. The only thing that seemed out of place was her window open.

She was about to move a lazy strand of hair away from her face, her hand was already hovering over her body. That was until Tara moved on her own. Murmuring something about some TV show. Or a cinema date, whatever it is that involved your godforsaken name.

"Thank God, that scared me." Sam whispered to herself before going over to Tara's bed, eyes still wandering over Tara's sleeping (?) face before standing up and leaving the room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You popped out of the blanket that was covering both you and Tara after giving her one of the best orgasms she's ever had. But the heart attack you both experienced when you heard Sam's footsteps was not fucking it!

A tense breath escapes your lips, relief flooding through you as you look at Tara, post-orgasm. Her eyes are dazed, a silly smile adorning her face.

"Tara, seriously, do you never lock your doors?" you whisper to her, arms sliding on her back to flip the both of you over. Your hands cupping her cheeks, trailing her jawline while you tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.

Tara's laughter rings out softly in the quiet, her cheeks flushed with her chest heaving. There was always something you loved about her smile, her laugh. Sure it was because it was like a taste of heaven as some pathetic human, but… Dimples. Dim-fucking-ples.

She rolls her eyes, letting her head fall on your collarbone. "I have Sam Carpenter in my bloodline, it's pointless."

"Don't be so hard on her." You stroke her hair gently, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "She's just looking out for you," you remind her, tone soft with understanding.

She sighs against your skin. "She's overdoing it. Like, I can throw a punch. Did you not see the fight I pulled with that dick from a party in the middle of nowhere may I remind you? I could've sworn Mindy sent the video to you!"

"Yeah Tara, but you're also an A24 chick who could memorize the full script of The Babadook, I love you for it baby." You laughed. "But Sam is just looking out for you. Especially me, I literally just fucked her sister in her house."

Tara looks up at you. Batting her eyelashes and smirking while she tilted her head, planting a chaste kiss near your lips, but not near enough you could taste her. "And you fucked her so well."

"We are not having another round, Tara."

"You know me so well it's fucking irritating. Can you just not?" She scoffs, but only playfully.

"But you actually should lock them, it's a safety hazard."

"Mhm, and you should let me ride you." She turns to the side, falling over your body, her hands tracing the soft dips and your toned abs.

"After that heart attack? No, Tara."

"Yeah?" She cocked her head, "Then why not give me more reasons why you're still hard."

"Oh..." You looked down. Fuck, you are. "Oh, fuck you."

"I'm hoping you will."

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head before turning to her side, "By the way, you never said the thing."

She wrapped her arms around your body as you faced her. "Oh, what thing this time, baby?"

You sigh.

"I love you."

Tara laughs. She knew what you wanted.

"I love you too."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: im back!

[lwyikas]

Vienna ft Iwaizumi Hajime

he doesn’t say “I love you”, but does he really need to say it?

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you, but when you get angry with him, he turns back in his seat and writes something into your notebook, tries to make you talk to him.

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but he insists to open lid of the drink you just bought.(Actually, you can do it yourself, but that little expression of pride on his face will comfort you too)

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but he made a French presentation with you in front of the whole class, even if it was at the cost of being disgraced ( he really awful about this).

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but he never takes off pink stickers with cats and holograms that you stick on his bottle (although it is made fun of by his teammates)

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but when he saw a dream of you cheating on him, he cried. He didn’t talk to you all day.

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but while watching you get ready in your room, he listens white girl music with you.

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but he watched every movie of the Toy Story with you millions times.

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but he still keeps the plug of the cafe you went to on your first date.

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but he takes your head in his arms and messes with you, ruins your hair and forces you to arm wrestling. But he don’t cross the thin line and never hurts you.(There were some accidental negativities a few times, but then he allowed you to hit with pillow as much as you want.)

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but when you die many times in same part while playing fireboy and watergirl, he completes level himself instead of reproaching you.

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but after that fight where you two almost came to the point of separation, he waited front of your home,in the rain,until you said you loved him.

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say i love you but while playing uno he saw that you slowly hiding your cards one by one, but he didn’t say anything to anyone.( also it was fun to watch oikawa lose)

Iwaizumi Hajime doesn’t say “I love you” but watches your speech on graduation day, proudly saying “She’s my girlfriend” to everyone who asks who this beautiful student is.

But everything has an exception right?

When you walk through aisle and stands in front of him, thinks you've never looked more beautiful, the realization hits him by the journey you two taken together and the future ahead can be may a little scary and nervous, but as long as you’re with him, he won’t hesitate for a second.He’s trying to hold back his tears,whispers in a tone only you will hear.

“i love you”

[dceasesd]

why juni ba’s the boy wonder has my favorite jason characterization of any contemporary comic run: a needlessly in-depth analysis (pt.1)

oh boy oh boy am i excited for this one buckle up boys it’s gonna be a long one. analysis under the cut (WITH PICTURES!!)

i, like many others, have many thoughts and opinions about juni ba's the boy wonder that i'd like to express. i was having trouble formatting my rant, though, so i decided that it was easiest to just address some of the common complaints i've seen about the comic and jason's characterization and insert my ramblings throughout it. so far i've seen three main complaints:

the typical boiling down of jason's character to "the angry one"

his lack of strategy going into the fight with the demon is out-of-character

the neighbor's kid interaction

to start with the first one-- when introducing jason's character, in both the second and first issue, ba uses the descriptors "coarse", "bitter", "hardened", "brash" and, of course, "rageful".

so, yes-- i understand where people are having issues with this characterization. however, even if it's overplayed, it's still important to remember that jason is angry, and is driven, in part, by his anger at bruce and the joker. and, as ba highlights, he deserved to be! completely erasing jason's anger is just as bad as defining him with it.

i also don't think it's wholly accurate to say that ba is boiling jason down to just his anger. it might seem like that when only considering the dialogue and narration, but jason's behavior in the comic doesn't perfectly align with how the narrator describes him. while the narration describes him as "rageful" and could be an instance of generalization, jason's actions throughout the comic are more aligned with two other emotions/motivators: fear and despair. we never see jason get actually, properly angry; the closest we get is when he's seemingly annoyed by damian (which i believe could be performative) and when he becomes violent, accidentally hurting damian.

even in this instance, though, he is not driven to this violence by rage, but rather fear. so, while ba states in the narration that jason is driven by his anger, he contradicts himself by highlighting how jason's sadness and terror motivates his character. this could be interpreted as lousy writing on ba's part, but i'm not going to attribute the paradox to that inference. to me, it actually represents a critque of the "jason is the angry robin" generalization, because it calls to attention the discrepancies between how one is described versus reality, an issue that jason both faces in the comics (bruce using him as a cautionary tale when dying WASN'T HIS FAULT) and outside of the comics, as mentioned previously.

furthermore, this highlights the difference between what jason believes about bruce's perspective and bruce's actual perspective (according to damian). jason believes himself to be a "failure", but damian refutes this by describing his conversation with bruce concerning jason, a conversation that does not align with jason's belief. if you couldn't tell by now, perception versus reality is a BIG theme in this comic (and for jason's character in general!)

i was really fascinated by ba's take on jason, because it veered pretty far from a lot of contemporary comics, most of which do, unfortunately, play with the angry robin jason generalization. they've been doing a bit with his fear, too, which has either been pretty fun or the most awful thing ever (i'm looking at you zdarsky. gotham war was fucked up), but what makes ba's jason stand out to me is how he grapples with his grief.

this boy is so sad. ba's jason might actually be the saddest rendition of him i've seen in canon content. we've seen jason grapple a little bit with the despair rooted in his death and resurrection, mainly in lost days, where he cries 3 (?) times, fresh out of the pit and very traumatized.

even in this comic, though, he reacts to his grief with anger more prominently than sadness. that obviously doesn't mean the despair isn't there, though-- anger is just an easier outlet for it (which i could really get into the masculinity aspects of that, but then this would be wayyyyyy too long).

ba's jason, though? that motherfucker is so. sad.

christ he's depressing. AND THAT'S SUCH A FRESH PERSPECTIVE!!!!!!! THANK YOU JUNI BA!!!!!!

now i'm pretty sure some people would argue that this rendition in out of character because he's so sad. to me, though, he's still the same jason; he covers up his sadness with anger and pettiness, redirecting his own insecurities onto those around him to mask his true feelings.

ba quite literally illustrates this in the comic. whenever he is being his snide, normal self, he has his red hood mask on; but when he actually opens up to damian and expresses himself truthfully, the mask is off. ba is highlighting how the classic jason anger and bitterness is, in part, a performance and coping mechanism.

this post is already too long, so i'll go over the two other critques in a different post, which i will link below (eventually). if you guys have any thoughts you'd like to share or discuss, my dms and asks are completely open! if you made it this far, i hope you enjoyed my ranting. look out for another post soon! :))

part 2 / part 3

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Drabble

Hi lovelies! Lia here again, I've been quite busy with school so I hope you guys can be a little patient with content since I've been stuck on a slump and there's a lot of things I'm currently busy with at the moment because of school despite posting so much last week. Here's the weekly content and I hope you all enjoy :)

Also how do you all feel if I write works inspired by old gacha songs? And yes I used to be a gacha girly, it was some wild phase AHAHAHA

My CoD Masterlist

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thesnowurzikdjinn @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000

Brainrot, Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley who decided he wanted to get a divorce with you because things weren't working out between the both of you, so you had to share custody of your daughter.

You managed to get yourself together, having no time to grieve that part of you that he took with him because you had a little one depending on you. You loved that girl for all she was, however she brings you and Simon together.

Not that you resent her for it, god no, it wasn't her fault you and your husband couldn't see eye to eye.. that he refused to retire after everything, maybe it was just your paranoia getting to you. You couldn't stand the fear anymore, the fear of one day he's not the one you'll see when you open the front door but Price.

You forgot how difficult it was doing this on your own until now, you could barely get up, your head was actually killing you. You pushed through, making your daughter breakfast.

You felt like you were about to throw up, ears started to ring and everything else felt numb. The next thing you know was your eyes rolling back and everything going black, the last thing you heard was your toddler panicking, calling you over and over on the verge of crying.

All while you were unconscious, your little one runs to your room to look for your phone to call her dad.

"Listen I know we—" Simon said expecting you on the phone before getting cut off by his daughter..

"Dada! Momma's dead, dada. Momma's not breathing!" In a panic, she cried it out like a mantra. Simon was in a panic, he got up from where he was and was speeding towards what used to be your shared home.

The next thing you know, you were hearing the beeps of a heart monitor. All your senses were working, all except sight.. you didn't have enough energy to open them, in the coldness of your whole body from the well ventilated room, you felt warmth on your hand.

It was all too familiar, calloused but so gentle and warm. Simon.. it was Simon. All while processing this situation, all that's going through Simon's head are the what ifs.

"Fucking hell, help her.. My wife, she's been unconscious for thirty minutes. She's breathing but it's faint and she's burning" Simon almost yelled in a full panic, he was doing his best not to snap at the hospital staff but how couldn't he? Hadn't even realized that he called you something you weren't anymore, the title he took with him.

Your little one holding her dad's hand in the waiting room, she was observant, an emotionally intelligent little girl who holds her dad's hand. Simon keeps reminding himself to calm down, how much his bumblebee must be terrified, far more than he was so he takes her in his arms.

Sooner or later they were allowed to enter, doctor said you were stabilized and only collapsed from a horrid fever and so much fatigue. Thinking of losing you, just like that with no warning would be the second time Simon would lose you.

Now watching you unconscious, IV tube connected to you because of course you haven't been eating well either. It made him rethink everything, was it a mistake to give you those papers? Was it worth it losing the one person in his life who he would give his life for with no hesitation?

All he could do for now was sit next to you, no matter how long it takes for you to wake up because he doesn't have the strength to leave, maybe in a day or two but not now..

Part 2 anyone?

[donatellawritings]

would rafe ever actually hurt the reader or does he always say empty promises when he’s upset? would you write that? love your work xx

ugh so basically, this is the first and only time that rafe and sweetheart actually break up :(

there was only one instance where rafe had hurt you — and it was one of, if not, the only regret that will continue to haunt him, whenever you shed even a single tear. it was pretty early on in your relationship, he was still struggling to navigate how to handle someone as pure as you, while you were still finding your footing when it came to having such a volatile lover in rafe cameron. you’d been warned by your cousin, kiara — she was firm in maintaining her stance on being against you and rafe being in a relationship … you were her family, you had a heart of genuine gold, while rafe only displayed the facade of being a blood and money hungry man with incessant skeletons in his closet.

“don’t fuckin’ walk away from me, when i’m talkin’ to you,” rafe shouted, hot on your trail as you tearfully made your way into your shared bedroom. mascara-stained tears painted your once blushed cheeks with dark and watery streaks, your lip poked out in a wobbly pout as you turned to face your angered boyfriend, “of course, the baby is fuckin’ crying — i should be the one that’s fuckin’ crying after the way you walked around like a dumb slut,” he scoffed, completely unfazed by your genuine tears of sorrowful frustration. now focusing your gaze at your kitten-heel clad feet, your shoulders slumped as a choked out sob sipped from between your swollen lips.

rafe was completely coked-out, blaming his over-indulgence on the fact that it had been months since he’d been able to enjoy a night out. his usually cold, yet enticing bright blue glaze was taken over by blown pupils and bloodshot eyes that stared at you with nothing, but disdain, “y’fuckin’ look at me when i’m talking to you,” he spoke lowly, a squeaky yelp coming out of you as he gripped your jaw, forcing your head up to make direct eye contact with him. your hand gently held onto his wrist, fat tears cascading down your waterline as rafe painfully pinched your cheeks together, “i want you to get the fuck out of my house — y’wanna fuckin’ talk to other guys while m’making us money? then fucking leave,” he spat through gritted teeth, pushing your face away as you let out a throaty cry.

that was far from the case — rafe had simply caught you making conversation with some random kook who’d failed to take the hint that not only you were uninterested, but you were rafe’s girl. but, rafe was too far gone to see anything aside from what his intoxicated mind wrongfully conjured up.

with a heaving chest, you let out a cry as you reached to grab rafe’s arm, “no, papi, i don’t want to go — please ju-just listen to me,” the second your hand touched rafe’s flexed arm, your head whipped to the side as rafe’s ring-clad hand slapped you right across your pretty face. your cheek pulsed with an aching sting as you blinked, your swollen lips parted in disbelief.

the sharp sound of rafe’s hand connecting with your face instantly caused your boyfriend to sober up, just enough for his eyes to widen in realization as he immediately approached you, “fuck, baby i didn’t mean to fuckin’—” he began, reaching an arm out to pull you into his chest, his heart sinking to his stomach as you backed away from him, bone-chilling cries leaving your mouth as you made a run for the bedroom door. “no-no, mama, please just fuckin’ listen!” he shouted, his arms successfully wrapping around you from behind as he pulled you flush against his tense chest.

“i fucking hate you, let me go!” you screamed, kicking your heeled feet as rafe tightened his hold on you, your eyes burning with reddening tears as you let out a choked sob. your cheek still pulsed as you began to sink to the floor, rafe lowering himself with his arms secured around you as you weakly clawed at his strained forearms, “please, i just want to go home,” you squeaked out, rafe’s eyes glazing over — this was supposed to be your home. you’d given up on kicking at the floor and scratching rafe’s arms, your heaving cries making you a bit sleepy as rafe wordlessly held you against him, waiting until you were calm, before he’d speak again.

tears silently rolled down rafe’s structured face as he hopelessly clung to you. you had every right to hate him and he accepted that, but the possibility of you leaving him for good was really starting to bite at him. with a shaky sigh, rafe leaned his forehead against your shoulder, “baby, pl-please let’s just, let’s just go to sleep,” he whispered, his voice wobbly as he swallowed down a pathetic cry. you remained quiet as you stared at the hardwood floor that had been scuffed by your heels, your doe eyes puffy and red from all of the crying you’d done, your eyelids heavy. “m’so fuckin’ sorry,” rafe cried, feverishly pressing his lips into the back of your shoulder, over and over again, his wet eyelashes now prominent against your exposed skin.

you were completely numb, once rafe slowly rose to his feet, keeping you in his arms as he carefully removed your clothes, replacing them with one of his t-shirts, tears rolling down his face as you remained limp, your eyes blank of any recognizable emotion as you refused to look directly into his eyes. you didn’t even move when rafe softly cradled the back of your head, pressing a kiss into your forehead as you simply blinked, your wispy lashes clumped together from your warm tears. carefully leading you to your shared bed, rafe remained fully clothed in his button-up and slacks, silently thankful that you were able to fall asleep with your bruised cheek finding comfort against his cheek. he couldn’t find it in himself to sleep, once he was completely sober and of a sound mind, rafe knew that he’d completely fucked up.

this wasn’t supposed to happen, not with you. he was supposed to be different, he was supposed to be a man of dignity, yet here he was slipping into his old ways.

so, rafe was awake when you finally woke up, his heart beating just a bit quicker as you raised your head from his chest, your cheekbone a light reddish-purple shade. it wasn’t until your exhausted and strained eyes met his, that rafe wanted nothing more than to fall to his knees and beg you for your forgiveness. but, he knew he’d be selfish to expect you to forgive him, only mere hours since he’d put his hands on you. biting back tears, rafe stood from the bed, “i want to take you somewhere, baby — y’don’t have to change your clothes, just come with me to the car, yeah?” rafe held out his hand, a slight warmth fluttering in his chest as you lightly held onto his hand with a small nod.

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rafe was thankful that you’d fallen asleep, about five minutes into the drive. he’d been wracking over his mistake over and over again, to the point where he couldn’t even bring himself to turn the car around and drive back home with you. slowly bringing the car to a stop, rafe gently parked the car, running a hand over his shaven face with a low and shaky sigh. his tired eyes looked over your peaceful state, your puffy lips slight parted as you fell into a deep sleep. rafe’s heart ached as he gently laid a hand on your thigh, lightly nudging you out of your sleep, a sad and knowing smile tugging on his lips as you opened your eyes.

“rafe, why are we here?” you asked, your voice raspy and hoarse as your eyes glazed.

rafe had driven you home.

unbuckling his seatbelt, rafe shifted to give you his full attention, his hand bringing yours to his lips as you looked at him with tearful eyes, “i want you to listen to me, a’ight? i need to be a better man for you,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to your knuckles, before swallowing thickly as you held in a cry, “m’gonna get my shit together, princess—” he continued, watching as you furiously shook your head. you were stubborn, but this was the one time where he needed you to listen to him.

“no, i wanna be with you — i don’t hate you, i—” you panicked, tears streaming down your face as you softly pulled your hand away from rafe’s, using both of your small hands to cover your face.

“m’gonna come and get you when i get better, okay mama? but right now, you need to go home, a’ight?” he sighed, keeping his eyes focused on the steering wheel. if he even looked at you for a second, he knew that he’d be back on the road, with you in the passenger seat, riding off into the sunset.

sniffling back a sob, you glanced at your boyfriend through cloudy eyes, “you’re breaking my heart, papi,” you cried, your puffy lips now dry as you licked over them. you wanted so bad to crawl into his lap and fall asleep, forget this all happened. unfortunately, rafe had already made up his mind.

“baby, please go home, this isn’t easy for me,” rafe spoke sternly, maintaining his gaze on the steering wheel, tears burning at his waterline as you nodded weakly, before stepping out of the car, gently closing the passenger door as you walked towards your house.

neither you nor rafe had the strength to look at each other as you made your way into your house, leaving rafe a tearful mess as he aimlessly made his way back on the road. every few minutes, he’d glance at the passenger seat, hoping that you’d magically appear next to him and be your usually smiley self, but he knew that couldn’t happen, not for a while.

rafe meant it when he said that he’d come get you, once he got better and he looked to make good on that promise. you were his sweet girl and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself, if he managed to lose you for good. he just hoped that you’d still love him, when he returned.