#I WILL SERIOUSLY DRAW YOU SOMETHING OR MAKE YOU SOMETHING BC THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY
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crescentfool · 1 year ago
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orpheus and thanatos 💚
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puppyeared · 7 months ago
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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purinfelix · 1 month ago
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just for the weekend ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ - franco colapinto
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summary: your teammate has an absolutely ridiculous plan to bring your team back from the dead - but it might be just crazy enough to work w/c: 5.5k + some smau style tweets warnings: a little angst, some uncomfortable touching/kissing since it's fake dating (not too bad but better safe than sorry), some miscommunication - just two idiots in love i fear
a/n: WOW it's finally here, fake dating is literally a guilty pleasure trope for me so i hope yall enjoy this HAHA - also sorry to Williams fans bc there's a lot of slander in this but trust its all for the plot <333 (also holy shit this is the longest fic I've ever written WOW)
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"You're actually insane."
"Oh c'mon, at least think about it for a minute, it's perfect!"
You fold your arms over your chest and try your best to look uninterested in whatever it is your teammate has to say. The two of you had been racing together for a little over half a year now, and you had witnessed him make (at least in your opinion) a grand fool of himself. Flirting with interviewers, winking at cameras, having absolutely no filter during press conferences - but this, this was by far the craziest thing you had heard come out of his mouth.
"A fake relationship?"
"Ah ah ah," he tuts, jutting a finger in your face, "a media relationship, one that will draw the attention away from how crap we're doing and onto the personalities of the team. Think about it, McLaren has whatever Oscar and Lando have got going on and Ferrari basically has two models for drivers. We need something to put us on the map, to make people care about us!"
You pause, and for a minute you seriously consider his outrageous proposition - he isn't completely wrong. For the two of you, making it into the points range was a rare occurrence, and even though the team always made sure to celebrate it like a podium there was something that stung about constantly being at the bottom.
"Do you realise how much trouble we could get into?"
"Ah," he sighs, and it's starting to annoy you how lightly he's talking about this, "ever the pragmatist."
"Well one of us has to be if the other's going to keep saying stupid shit," you huff before turning around and beelining out of his driver's room.
Seriously, a fake relationship? Had he lost his mind? Maybe if he focused more on his racing you wouldn't be constantly outperforming him.
"At least think about it, okay?" You hear him call out from behind you, and consider yourself lucky to be facing the other way so that he doesn't catch your obnoxious eye roll. Surely he had to be kidding because there was no way you were going to devote any amount of time to this ridiculous thought.
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God fucking damnit.
It was frustratingly confusing, the kind of power Franco had. You had witnessed it first hand with how smoothly he spoke to anyone and managed to get his way almost instantly - but this was your first time experiencing it first-hand. It was another weekend, another country, another race, but the only thing you could think of was his stupid consideration - which, with each passing moment, seemed increasingly genius.
You had almost a year of experience with the team over your teammate, and with that, your fair share of embarrassment and disappointment. Sure, his idea was a little out there but you were close to being at your wits end and if nothing else, you hoped this would at least be a little fun. Plus you were pretty sure at this point if you didn't act on this thought soon, it would start interfering with your performance.
"Fine," you said a little breathlessly as you burst into his driver's room ahead of a race.
"Hey!" he exclaimed, looking at you with a shocked look, "whatever happened to knocking? I could've been naked in here!"
You roll your eyes before continuing, "You still up to the ..." You pause, thinking of how best to word it, "Fake relationship thing?"
His eyes light up immediately, "Ah, I knew you'd come around eventually."
Letting out a soft huff, just to let him know that you still aren't fully convinced this will work, you sit down on his couch. "I think we should lay down some ground rules first."
"Yes ma'am." He nods, straightening up and forcing a serious expression you can only assume is mocking yours.
"Firstly, no kissing."
"Understood."
"Actually no public affection at all, holding hands, hugging, nothing."
"Oh sure and how exactly are we going to convince people then?"
You pause, thinking for a little, "Okay maybe hand-holding and hugs are fine, but you better not push it - that goes for the pet names as well." He nods with a satisfied smile.
"And no one other than us two can know this is fake, alright? Otherwise, it'll spoil the plan."
"Trust me, I don't need anyone knowing I'm going along with something as ridiculous as this. It'll be our little secret."
"Our little secret," he repeats with a hum, a sly sort of smile spreading across his face as he gets up from his spot. "See you after the race, my love."
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You sighed in exasperation, tossing your phone to the side of the couch in your driver's room where it fell with a light thud. You had about a thousand other things to be worrying about - your pretty disappointing result in qualifying for one - but for some reason, the main thing on your mind was your 'relationship' with Franco. Somehow, it had proved even more intense than you had expected, which planted a seed of worry in your mind as you realised how hard this was actually going to be to pull off. Since his not-so-subtle announcement to a hoard of hungry press members at last week's race, the media had managed up a flurry about the two of you.
There were supportive fans who liked you both enough not to see any problem with two teammates dating, as well as others who were more sceptical about how it might impact your performance. However, what really seemed to get to you were those who doubted you more than the relationship.
Your social media had been bombarded with comments and theories about the reason behind your relationship, doubting your place on the grid, and calling you names that - after shedding the status of 'first girl rookie', you thought you had left behind. Regardless, you feel a little stupid for being so unprepared for all this - not just the tweets but the harsh articles, the questions during press interviews and even shouting fans. Maybe if you had done a little more thinking about it first, you would've realised this was a stupid idea that should've been left at just that.
Throwing your head back you let out an exasperated sigh, trying to clear your head so that you could move on and focus on the race that was happening tomorrow. The last thing you wanted was for this plan to start impacting your driving. But Franco always seemed to have the worst timing - or best, depending on who you asked.
"Hello?" A couple quick knocks alert you of his presence before he cracks the door just wide enough to peek in. "There's my beautiful girlfriend." The way the pet names and affection seem to come to him so easily makes you simultaneously impressed and concerned, unsure of whether it's an indication of his great acting or flirting skills.
"What do you want?" You try to make it as obvious as you can that you're not in the mood, and he realises this right away.
"Oh, nothing, I just wanted to ask if you were free after this."
"You know I'm not really a huge fan of the big team dinners, especially not when we have a race tomorrow."
"Oh it's not like that, I was just going to go check out a restaurant near our hotel and wondered if you wanted to join me."
When you finally speak it's just above a whisper, "Is this a part of the fake dating thing?"
He laughs softly, his ability to find everything entertaining has always amazed you. "If you want to, it can be. If that gives you a reason to come hang out with me, though if you don't it's totally fine."
"No, I'll come, not like I've got anything better to do." You hate how every word you've said so far has sounded so pathetic.
"Great, I'll meet you by the paddock entry in ten?"
"See you then."
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The street lights were dim, just bright enough to illuminate the street the two of you were walking down. The night was cool and still, and there were barely any people out other than you. You weren't sure why, but you had ended up telling Franco a lot more than you had expected. Maybe it was the extremely fancy restaurant you had initially gone to or the local one the two of you agreed to ditch it for instead, or maybe it was just the freeing feeling of being in another country.
The two of you had talked before, of course - as teammates it was difficult to avoid. But beyond the casual small talk, discussions about strategies or banter during challenges your relationship never extended beyond casual co-existence. It was one of the reasons you were glad your higher-ups had never tried to force the two of you into a professional friendship. There was something about Franco, his ability to strike up a conversation and maintain it even when the topic clearly strayed far beyond his interests, that made him so likeable, so easy to get along with. And the support he got from fans and the media reflected this well. You just never felt like there was any room for you in that equation.
But here, away from the cameras and shedding the roles of drivers, the two of you became normal people. You spoke, you laughed, you vented to him everything that worried you about your 'relationship' and he listened throughout all of it - all the while the two of you shared the biggest, best, pizza you had ever had.
"I have to say, I don't know if our engineers will appreciate the extra weight I've just put on," he jokes, breaking the comfortable silence that had been lingering around you two as you walked.
"Me neither, they might have to roll me into the car at this rate."
"You know, I think this is the first time the two of us have hung out, just us two."
You think for a little before answering, "You're right."
"Do you think there's a reason for that?"
"You mean besides us both being extremely busy people and already seeing each other pretty often? Not really, no."
"Good point, though with our little plan, we're definitely going to be seeing each other a lot more."
There's a beat of silence. "This is nice though, right?" He asks, and his voice is so tentative you almost find it endearing.
"It is nice, this was fun." You try not to think too much about the fact the two of you could be mistaken by any passer-by as a couple of lovebirds on a first date - or that fact that even to those who knew you, you were.
"I appreciate you telling me all that stuff, you know, about what people are saying about you."
"Oh, if anything I should be thanking you for listening to me vent about it."
"It is serious though, I'm so stupid for not even thinking about what you'd have to deal with."
"Well I don't think either of us gave it enough thought but," you pause and look up at him, "we're too far in to back out now."
He shoots you a comforting smile, one that shows how reassured he feels that you seem to finally be coming around to his idea. That is, at least, before his face morphs into one of discomfort.
"God, I'm so full."
"We're almost back at the hotel now, let's just sleep and then we can wake up early tomorrow morning to-"
"Wait, is that ice cream?" Franco interrupts you to point out a street vendor who's about to pack up for the night, and before you know it he's running up to the man eagerly. You can only follow suit with a sigh, knowing full well you wouldn't mind some dessert either.
"You two are lucky, you'll be my last customers for the night," the moustachioed owner of the cart says with a warm smile.
"Thanks," you reply kindly, before turning to Franco, "what flavour do you think you'll get."
"Hm, not sure, maybe chocolate?"
"Wow, boring."
He scoffs, "Oh yeah? And what exotic flavour are you going to get then?"
"Mint choc," you smile, but your face drops once you see your teammate's disgusted expression.
"You've got to be kidding me, that's like the worst choice."
You feign offence, "How dare you insult the best ice cream flavour of all time?"
"Ah, you two are quite the couple," the man laughs and you watch as Franco's eyes widen in embarrassment.
"Oh we're not-"
"Thank you," it's your turn to interrupt him, turning to the man with a smile. "One chocolate and one mint choc chip please."
You go to reach for your wallet to pay but you feel a hand on yours, stopping you.
"No, it's okay, I got this."
"Wh- Franco c'mon you know full well both of us could afford about a thousand of these ice cream cones don't be ridiculous."
"I know," he smiles and even though he's trying to be serious you know he's also trying not to laugh, "but I just figured you know, I'm the one who dragged you out here and like, got you into this whole fake dating mess."
You furrow your brows, a little confused at what exactly he's getting at.
"I guess I just want to say thank you, you know?"
"Alright, alright," you laugh softly, watching as he pays and takes both of the cones, handing you yours. Once you grab yours, you instinctively loop your arm around his, pulling him close and resting your head against his shoulder. The ice cream man laughs endearingly at the two of you.
"You're the best boyfriend ever!" you say in as high and cute a voice you can manage, cringing a little but determined to keep up the bit - you don't even bother to think about how fast you can feel Franco's heart race when you do.
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Last night was really nice. You're sitting next to your race engineer, nodding along as she points to various multi-coloured dots and lines on the screen. You hear yourself agreeing with a couple quick "mhms", "of course" and "yep"s even though you can barely hear what she's saying. You're mere minutes away from getting in your car for a race, getting briefed on your strategy, and the only thing you can think of is the 'date' you had with Franco last night - if you can even call it that.
You had thought that getting everything off your chest, the hate comments, the doubt you had, would help you feel better and relieve any worries you had. And it did, at least until you got back to your hotel room alone and caught yourself smiling at the thought of seeing your teammate again the next day. How, even as you washed up and got ready for bed, you found yourself thinking - pizza, ice cream, walking at night together, isn't that something a real couple would do?
"Are you listening to me?" your race engineer's voice cuts through the haze of your thoughts, causing you to straighten up immediately.
"Yes! Sorry," you mumble, but just at that moment, you see him walk into the garage, greeting a couple of the mechanics warmly. Before you realise it, he's beelining straight for you, his arm coming around your waist as he leans in close to your ear.
"There's a ton of cameras, I just wanted to be believable," he whispers, and when he pulls back you can see the smile on his face. You nod curtly, fully aware of how red your face feels over such a small interaction as he waltzes away.
"Okay, so as I was saying," your race engineer pipes up again, though you couldn't be paying her less of your attention - watching as your 'boyfriend' walks off, his brown hair illuminating in the afternoon light. For a fake relationship, the quickening pace of your heart felt far too real.
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"Well you two have been teammates since the beginning of this year, can you tell us a little about when you realised you might be more?"
Your struggle was never-ending - or at least, that's what it felt like, finding yourself at the centre of an impromptu interview with Franco. Around you, the other drivers were getting questions about their place in their teams, how they felt about their current strategy and about their racing futures. And there the two of you were, getting thrown question after question about your 'relationship'.
"Well," you begin, before being saved by your teammate. You had to give it to him - he was great at making stuff up on the spot.
"Well, I think it was somewhere around a month after I first joined the team, and met her. It was just something about her, she's sort of electric in this almost untouchable way, you know?"
You try not to look too awkward standing next to him as he talks, feigning your best-interested smile - though a part of you is extremely intrigued by this fake story he's creating.
"At first I thought I just wanted to be like her, her passion and talent were just so respectable, but the more time I spent with her the more I realised it was something completely different."
He turns to look at you, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you close to him. Your expression falters a little as you're caught off guard by the sudden contact and as you turn away from the journalists and towards him, your eyes widen in shock at the sight of his pursed lips nearing yours. Before you realise it, his lips are against yours and you're pulling away as quickly as possible, face bright red. You're just barely aware of the thousands of flashing camera lights as you turn to quickly excuse yourself.
"Thank you all for coming, it was nice talking to you but, uhm, I have to go!" You hurriedly blurt out before slipping out of Franco's grip and darting off to your driver's room.
You hear his footsteps following closely behind you, as well as the sound of him calling out your name. When you near the door of your room, you turn around and grab his wrist to yank him in before you shut the door.
"What the hell was that?" is all you can muster out, "I thought we agreed no kissing?"
"Look, I can explain!"
You cross your arms with a huff, looking at him expectedly.
"I was just going to peck you quickly on the cheek, you know because we were getting all romantic and I wanted it to be believable! B-but then you turned, and then we," he's struggling not to ramble and his quickly moving hands do little to help. That's when you also realise his face is bright red as well, and he doesn't seem any less flustered by it than you do. "I'm really, really sorry I really shouldn't have done that."
You'd be lying if you said his explanation didn't make you feel any better. You're not actually upset about the kiss itself though, in fact, it's the opposite - actually, the grudge you're holding is doing little to help the internal struggle going on in your head. The kiss didn't make you angry, but the realisation that you wanted it to be real, did.
You sigh, rubbing your temples as you slump down in the nearest chair. Franco does the same on the adjacent couch, though his gaze stays carefully on you, almost afraid of what you might say next.
"It's fine, I think we just need to coordinate our PDA a little better then."
"Yes, of course," he nods quickly.
There's a beat of silence. "You're really good at acting though."
"What?"
"That whole story you made up about how you fell in love with me, it was really believable." You laugh lightheartedly trying to lighten the situation and alleviate the awkwardness that's settled between you two.
"Well it's pretty easy, I didn't need to make up much of it," his eyes catch yours and his gaze is soft when he smiles at you.
"What?" you're confused.
"Never mind," he scoffs lightly, his gaze dropping to the floor as he rubs the back of his neck. He looks almost disappointed at something, though you can't realise what. "Well, I'll leave you alone now. I really am sorry about what happened before." You watch as he pushes himself up from the couch, his head hanging guiltily - looking almost like a scolded puppy.
"It's fine Franco, really, please don't feel too bad about it." He nods thankfully before slipping out the door, leaving you alone.
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Being a driver, hotel rooms had come to be a companion you knew far too familiarly. Their high ceilings, plush sterile white bedsheets, the empty bathroom - almost everything about them felt a sign of loneliness, of temporality, a house that never felt like home. Even though you knew how ridiculous it would be to complain about something that others would see as a privilege, it was hard to deny the isolation you felt whenever in a new country, away from most of your family or friends.
Maybe that's why you had been so eager to latch onto Franco's idea - it made sense, he had become the person you spent the most time with so why not give yourself some ridiculous reason to be around him even more? However somewhere along the way you stopped needing the reason of fake dating, somewhere in between hushed conversations, planned posts and candid photos - and instead found yourself genuinely enjoying his company. It was a little strange and sometimes acted as a sour reminder of how lonely you'd become but more than anything it felt like a blessing in disguise.
You were reminded of this fact as you lay, wrapped in a plush white hotel robe, across your messy bedsheets - laughing to yourself at the tweets your boyfriend had sent you. They were all about you, or the two of you, of course. Comments on the tiniest things, the way the two of you looked at each other, the way Franco held your hand, the way you worried about him.
"I feel a little bad, they're all so gullible," you typed quickly.
"Oh, so now you feel bad?" His response was almost instant.
"Don't you?"
"It's fun, isn't it? All this playing pretend."
Right, pretend. You rolled onto your back with a deep sigh, staring up at the tall hotel ceiling. All of this was just so confusing - as if figuring out how you felt about someone wasn't difficult enough, the two of you had complicated it by tricking the entire world into thinking you were in love. Whether you truly liked him or not, the idea was doomed for failure - and the more you thought about it, the more it seemed like the former.
"You're right," you typed back, watching intently as the three tiny dots appeared, disappeared then reappeared. What could he be saying that would need so much thinking?
"Can we talk tomorrow, after the race?"
You felt your stomach drop, had he finally caught on to how obvious you were being about how you truly felt, and decided that actually it might be better to just drop this whole act and go on as just teammates? With trembling hands, you typed back.
"Sure, what about?"
"I'll tell you then, for now, we should sleep."
"Goodnight Franco."
"Goodnight mi amor." You laughed softly to yourself at the nickname he had given you, though a small part of you took it as salt to the wound - almost as if he was dangling the possibility of something that could never happen right in front of your desperate little face.
However, not like you had a choice - all you could do now was get ready for bed and brace yourself for whatever tomorrow brought.
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You couldn't believe it. The sounds of celebration erupted around you, but you sat completely still in your car, silent, attempting to process what had just happened. Your first win, and, your first double podium, with Franco. Your head was spinning as the never-ending stream of thoughts raced through your mind. Suddenly, you heard a voice coming from above your car's halo, muffled by your helmet. You flick the visor up, lifting your head as highly as you could - locking eyes with your teammate.
"We did it! Oh my god!" The excitement on his face is enough to send a slight surge of energy through you as he offers you his hand, helping you out of the car. When you do though, you stumble a little - the nerves are almost too much for you.
"Woah, you alright?" Even through the fog clouding your mind you can make out the concern in Franco's voice and feel his arms steadying you.
"Yeah, just-" you mumble, gesturing to your helmet and making weak attempts to undo the clasps underneath it. It's almost suffocating you, and the chaos going on around you isn't helping the pounding headache.
"Oh, let me," he reacts immediately, dropping his own helmet and bringing his hands below your chin to swiftly undo the clasps and pull the helmet off of you. You take a deep breath of air as you pull off your fireproof mask, though it sounds more like a desperate gasp.
Around you, the crowds roar with excitement, both your team and others as they make attempts to gesture at the two of you to join them. Your head spins though, and you wobble backwards into Franco.
"It's too loud," is all you can stutter out, though he understands you almost immediately, a strong hand gripping your wrist and pulling you away from the noise and somewhere quieter. You're not entirely sure where he's taking you but at that moment you feel as though you'd follow him just about anywhere.
Luckily though, when your eyes refocus you're in his driver's room, and even though outside you can hear the cheers continuing, you're offered some solace here, the walls muffling the sound. You sigh, sinking into his couch as you throw your head back, panting still.
You feel like it's all just too much - not just the physicality of the race, but the feeling of winning it, winning it with Franco, just Franco himself. When you finally manage to catch your breath you lift your head to see him standing over you, watching intently.
"Better?"
"Much better, thank you." You smile earnestly, "Though I don't think we'll be able to hide in here much longer, there is a cooldown room for this exact reason."
"Oh, I mentioned it to someone, not sure who but he looked important, and he said it would be okay."
You laugh softly, amazed at how he can seem so calm even at a moment like this.
"We did it," you say, still not being able to believe it.
"We did," he smiles, sitting on the couch next to you, "a couples podium."
You feel your heart skip a beat at the sudden reminder of your conversation last night, him mentioning he had something to tell you. Was this it? The two of you had achieved what you had been wanting this entire time, and there was no better time to let this ridiculous bit go than now.
You stare at the wall of his room, the gigantic flag of his home country, and let out a shaky breath, mustering up the courage to break the silence. "So..."
He turns to you, one eyebrow raised in interest.
"What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" You're trying your best to keep your voice lighthearted, "it sounded serious."
"Oh, well about that," he seems to have forgotten it temporarily as well, but the fact that he turns to look at the flag as well, almost unable to maintain eye contact with you, isn't a good sign.
Maybe it's the adrenaline from the race, maybe it's the fact that both of you are going to be needed out on the podium in about ten minutes - or maybe it's the fact that you're so desperate to get out these feelings and make him understand how you feel, but you start talking before you even realise it.
"Look, Franco, I," you start, not entirely sure of where you're going to end up, "I know you asked me to do this whole fake dating thing with you and I completely understand if you want to end it now, I mean why wouldn't we? It's perfect!"
He looks at you confused, lips parted as if about to interrupt you but you continue anyway, stupidly.
"But, look, here's the thing," you turn to him now, and you're sure your face is bright red, "I don't want this to end!"
You let out a deep sigh, and clutch your hands together to stop them from shaking, though it doesn't help that Franco looks even more confused now.
"What?" he says, and your heart drops.
"I," you pause, struggling to find the right words, and struggling to get them out, "I think I like you, like, for real." Okay, not exactly the best choice of words but it'll do.
"Like, not for the whole fake relationship thing?" his tone is still concerned and he leans in a little for clarification.
"Yes! Okay, I know it's not exactly what we thought would happen and it'll probably jeopardise our relationship as teammates but there, I like you okay."
"When did you realise?"
"A couple days ago, I'm sorry."
There's a beat of silence, and you're left with the agonising feeling of your heart racing in your chest, waiting eagerly for his response - for him to laugh in your face, for him to get mad, for him to reject you.
But instead, you watch as Franco's confused expression melts into one of pure relief as he sinks back into the couch with a sigh. "Oh, thank God."
It's your turn to be confused. "I'm sorry, what?"
"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that," he says, eyes fixed on the ceiling with the widest smile you've ever seen.
"Wait you mean you-"
"I win!"
You're absolutely speechless, not a single coherent thought on what is going on or how to respond. All you can get out is a confused sort of grunt.
"I win, I've liked you for longer!" he laughs, sitting up and grabbing your hands in his.
You feel as though your jaw is going to dislocate at how fast it drops, "I'm sorry?"
"Oh c'mon, we've been teammates for a year I know you're not that oblivious."
"Well, apparently I am because I'm really confused."
"I've liked you since the moment I met you, you idiot."
"Wh-" You're about to be offended at the name-calling until what he says finally hits you. He likes you. He has liked you. For ages. You idiot.
"Even when you proposed this to me?"
"Yep."
"Even when we went to get ice cream?"
"Yep."
"Even when you kissed me?"
"Y- well wait no that was completely unintentional," he holds his hands out in defence. You slump back, trying your best to process everything today has entailed, it's almost too much. That is until you feel Franco move a little closer to you, his arm stretching around your shoulders and gently moving your head to lay on his. At that moment, it all becomes clear, and you're suddenly unsure about why you ever felt confused about any of this.
"What now?" You say, barely above a whisper.
"We go and get our trophies," even though you're not looking you can hear the smile in his voice. "Though, before then."
You lift your head up off his shoulder to turn to him with raised brows. "Hm?"
"Now that we aren't fake dating, do the rules still apply?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'd really like to kiss you right now," he whispers, and there's a hint of nerves as you watch his eyes dart in between yours and your lips.
"Really can't wait can you," you tease, though you still move to close the space in between you to. But just before your lips can touch his there's a knock at the door, causing you both to slump back with a sigh.
"Hey, are you two in there?" it's your race mechanic, "you're needed, you know, on the podium."
You roll your eyes to show your obvious disappointment at being interrupted, though Franco just watches you with an endeared smile.
"What are you thinking about?" you ask, not being able to hide your own smile.
"I'm just thinking about how beautiful you're going to look up on that podium, and how I won't have to pretend not to be in love with you anymore."
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Taglist : @spreadyourwings-my-smiling-angel @cinderellawithashoe @vanicogh @taasgirl @claudiajacobs
@dripostsstuff @boiolay @earth-to-lottie @dejavuontrack @dudududu-fangirl
@kravitzwhore @gavisuntiedboot @reiofsuns2001 @musicmie @danielle12002x-blog
@alelo23 @corrodeddeadlydoll @aliwritex @nina-or-anna-or-nora
@5sospenguinqueen @araunahj @sbrn0905 @halleest @lottieliveslife
@lovestruck-sky @im-an-op81-fan @blubra @vienoiserieetc
(don't ask me why it's formatted so weird, tumblr hates me)
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hwanchaesong · 6 months ago
Text
Folklore: A Trilogy (August)
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Childhood friend!Jake X F!Reader
Synopsis: Ever since you left home to pursue the city life, you really did think that everything was over. Then you returned, and you still see him there. Will something rekindle and burn inside you once more?
word count: 24.6k
genre & warnings: fluff, angst, smut, childhood friends, kind of slowburn, summer love/fling au, this fic is taylor swift inspired (maybe you'll also see other song references but who knows), mentions of bullying & childhood trauma, cursing, drinking, party/festival, country side & small town settings, fights, jealousy, built up sexual tension, implied situationship, lies lies lies, sop (with bf!sunghoon), cheating (zont zo this, stay loyal!), oral m&f rec, fingering, nipple play, dry humping, overstimulation, creampie, kitchen sex, bedroom sex lmao, multiple unprotected (wrap before you tap!) sex scenes, appearance of other idols, & reminder!! the idols' characters here do not mirror real life! not proof read! etc etc mdni
a/n: this is the first part of the Folklore: Trilogy, which focuses on Jake aka our August. also the longest fic that i have ever written for now 🥲 and yes, i changed the 'aesthetic' moodboard bc i am obsessed with this kind of layouts lately 👺
ps. likes, comments, reblogs are all appreciated! let me know what you think y'all. thank you so much and enjoy! 🩷
🎧 playlist
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You stretched your back, muscles cramping from seven hours of traveling, drawing in the conventional briny ocean breeze that passes through the air as you stepped onto the sandy sidewalk, opening the brown gates and the creaking metal alarmed the people inside the building of your arrival.
"Well, aren't you home earlier than expected?" your mother greets you, giving you a welcoming hug when you enter the house and you take notice of something delicious wafting around your nostrils.
"Yes, there wasn't much traffic on the way here," you returned her embrace after dropping your bags on the floor, "and I smell something good." you remarked, heading towards the kitchen to find your dad bustling in front of the stove and your little brother mixing something in a bowl.
"They're chefs now." your mother jokes, following you in the kitchen and making small talk when the men of the house told you two to sit back and relax, to let them do the work this time.
"Wow dad," you peeked over his shoulders and you almost drooled at the delicacy he's concocting, "your cooking skills have greatly improved."
"Me too!" the youngest of your family spoke, walking over to you and nudging you with his elbow, "Look, I made your favorite dessert."
You lovingly ruffled his hair and ignored his complaints, knowing that he secretly loves it, "You're doing great as well, Riki."
You assisted with setting the table, sitting down in your usual spot and helping yourself to a large portion of food, wolfing the grub with the utmost gratitude because seriously, dorm and university meals kind of suck.
While eating, your mother decided to bring up a topic that you dare say, plain horrendous and tedious, "Now that you're here, you should come with us to the town fiesta before your summer break ends."
You groaned, not liking the idea of spending your beloved summer around other people, only wanting to be a couch potato, to sleep, eat and play games all day long.
"Don't be like that!" your father chides, eating a spoonful of the tiramisu that Riki made before speaking, "Besides, your old friends will be there. Aren't you excited to see them?"
Old friends. Pft.
Can you even consider those people your friends when all they ever did during your elementary and highschool years was to approach you whenever they needed something?
You hated them, really, they are one of the many reasons why you were determined to depart from your hometown. You only come back here from time to time because of your family. The moment you set foot into the city, you've already cut those stupid, snarky bitches in your life.
"Come to think of it, Jake will be there." Riki added, then you paused.
Jake? The aussie boy whom you've spent most of your childhood with? The same Jake who gifted you the largest teddy bear that he won in a shooting range in a local carnival?
You cautiously peered at your brother, asking him a mindless question for good measure, "Jake with a government name of Sim Jaeyun?"
"Yep, good 'ol Jake. Do you know that I'm taller than him now?" he snickers, visualizing the older boy's rage if he hears that comment.
"He's still here?" you asked once more, because surely, you thought that he's gone by now. Back to Australia to pursue a career there, it's what he has informed you before going your separate ways for college.
"Of course, where else would he be?" Riki side-eyed you then realization flashed on his face, "I get it."
"You get what?"
"You missed him." he wiggled his eyebrows teasingly that it had you slapping his shoulder in an attempt to terminate his annoying ass down.
"I don't! I was asking because he told me that he w-"
"Excuses, excuses." he cuts you off, waving his hand around dismissively, "I'm so gonna tell him that you missed him so dearly."
"Really?" you crossed your arms over your chest, a challenging aura radiating off of you, "Go ahead then, guess I'll give the clothes I bought to Sunoo and Jungwon."
He whined, you gave him the cold-shoulder, he pulled your hair, you yelled at him and you nearly went nuts when he licked your spoon filled with the last tidbits of the chocolate goodness. (which he knows is your pet peeve.)
Before a fight breaks out, your parents ushered you both to your respective rooms, saying that they'll take care of the dishes. Rubbing their foreheads and saying something along the lines of 'sibling dynamics never change.'
While showering, you pondered over the invitation, maybe you should go. Check out what's new, totally not because of a certain someone... you think?
Jake was your closest companion back then, a kind person with a heart of gold. If anything, you'd call him your true friend. He made you laugh, shared his food with you, and did everything together; attached to the hip like you two were born from the same seed.
Not until he told you that he's moving back to Australia to attend a university that he's been dreaming of since he was young.
You remembered crying yourself to sleep that day, then you made the decision to study in the city because there is no way in hell you'll survive college life here without your one and only friend.
So it really was a surprise to you when Riki revealed that he's still here. Does that mean that moving out was nothing but a mistake on your part? Does that mean that you could've stayed here and lived a peaceful life instead of hustling in a swarming city?
You shook your head, 'Y/N, don't be silly.' If you didn't explore outside your small town, then you wouldn't have the chance to meet him.
A giddy smile crept up your lips at the thought of your boyfriend. One day, you'll bring him here and he'll definitely love the area, especially the lake when it's frozen so he could skate on it, then you'll be there beaming then-
You slapped your soapy cheeks with both hands, scolding yourself for daydreaming, 'Stop being a delulu! It's only been a few months since you started dating him!'
You quickly rinsed and dried your hair, changing into some of your comfortable childhood pajamas and letting yourself fall into dreamland.
---------------------------------------------------
"What the fu-" you must have resembled that one Morty meme when he woke up, because who on earth is making all the noise downstairs when it's... oh, it's 1 PM. Dang, you slept that long? Like a log even.
You went to the bathroom and freshened yourself up, and when you deemed yourself presentable enough, you headed down to check what the commotion was about.
You definitely heard Riki shouting, but there is someone else. A voice that is eerily familiar but is somehow foreign to your ears.
You steadily walked into the living room, ceasing when you detected a mop of long black hair sitting next to your brother's shorter one.
"Huh?" you unconsciously uttered, catching the attention of the boys who are currently playing Mario Kart.
"Y/N?"
The rotation of the earth seemed to slow down when you saw him again.
There he was, the old friend that saved you from a gloomy childhood.
"Jake?" you hesitantly called out, making him smile, nodding his head in your direction before standing up and lurching towards you for a bone crushing hug.
"Y/N!"
"Jake!"
You hugged each other for what felt like hours, disconnecting when Riki cleared his throat, standing up from his position on the couch and retreating in the kitchen, "Imma go and fetch us some snacks, call me when you're done being lovey-dovey."
You rolled your eyes at your sibling's sass, returning your attention to the sunny boy in front of you.
"How are you? You look great!" he beams, tightly holding your hand in his while he scans you from head to toe.
It kind of made you self conscious, wishing that you should've made an effort to dress better but hey! He's your sweet, lovely Jake, you’re assured that there's no ill intention behind his stare.
"I’m good, busy with college and all. How about you? You look fine as heck!" you answered him with all the sincerity that you could muster, especially at the last part of your statement.
He looks great, like really great. You’ll even say that he’s transformed into an actual disney prince.
You do hark back to him being one of the rare good looking bunch of kids , but boy, did you not expect puberty to hit him like a bullet train.
Given that Riki is taller than him (man did not lie), his visuals are insane. He retained his puppy-like eyes, prominent cheekbones that were the result of his baby fats disappearing, his tall nose and jawline that are now sharper than a knife, and his lips.. his godforsaken lips. It's fuller and thicker, and not to mention, his beige skin is glowing.
He's a totally different person from what you can remember, and the more you observe him, the more you discern how much of a man he became. Only did you realize that you were blanking out when his phone rang, and being the nosey person that you are, you couldn't help but peek at the caller.
'Yuna.'
Oh, so he has a girlfriend. Well, you should have expected that. A pretty boy like him would surely bag any girl that he wanted.
"Right, I'll be there in ten." he ended the call and turned to you with an apologetic smile, "Guess we'll continue this talk later."
"I don’t mind, no problem."
Perfect if you say so, it'll give you some extra time to relax and sink the newfound information in your brain, that your childhood friend grew up into a dashing, debonair man.
"Here, give me your number so we could easily communicate." he hands you his phone, allowing you to type and save your contact.
"You're leaving?" just then, Riki emerges from the kitchen, holding a tray of munchies and setting it on the coffee table.
"Yeah, sorry man, I need to do something."
Riki side-eyes his friend with a sarcastic hum. (you think that side-eyeing people is his new habit from the amount of times he did it within a short span of time.)
"Do something or do someone?" Riki haphazardly asked, making Jake glance at you nervously, an awkward chuckle erupting from him.
"It's not like that," he glances at the clock, clicking his tongue and bidding his goodbyes, "I gotta go now. Y/N, I'll text you later."
He waves at you both, bolting through the door and Riki lets out a sardonic laugh, "Look at that fuckboy, so ready to get his dick wet."
"Hey," you pinched Riki's cheek, earning yourself a pained drone from him, "watch it. Since when did you learn vulgar words like that."
He swats your hand away, "Since birth. Ouch! Stop it!" he protests when you start pinching him more, not appreciating his raw sass.
"But really, he's a fuckboy now?" you inquired, flopping on the couch and grabbing a cookie from the plate, chomping on it while you watch Riki pour some juice for you two.
"Why? Are you jealous?" he teased, doing that same taunting eyebrow wiggle that you hate so much.
"I will literally choke you." you threatened, making him raise his hands up in surrender.
"Simmer down." he sat next to you, exiting Mario Kart and opting to play some anime on Netflix, "I don't know if it's true or not, but word from others is that Jake's been screwing girls since last year."
"Is that so?" you nonchalantly replied, listening to your brother gossip but then you got lost in your own thoughts.
The rumors are bad, but you somehow can't bring yourself to believe it. In the short amount of time since you've left, maybe some things have really changed. You wouldn't know, you weren't here to witness it.
You shrugged and watched the anime playing on the tv, something about a reincarnated slime. This is a good distraction instead of waiting for Jake to text you.
---------------------------------------------------
You don't know what came over you when you heard your phone go off, the message notification sound making your heart skip a bit. You hurriedly got off your vanity and laid down on your bed, gripping the phone and opening the text.
'Hey Y/N! Jake here, this message is kinda late, so sorry, I got caught up with something.'
You smiled and saved his number, typing in a reply... which you didn't give much consideration to and now you are regretting your uninhibited decisions for sending that.
You (8:45 PM):
Got caught up by your girlfriend? Who was she again, Yuna?
Jake (8:46 PM):
You saw that?
Noo, it wasn't like that I swear. I helped her fix her brother’s computer. She is just a friend, nothing more, nothing less.
Again, you don't know what came over you as you rolled over your bed, staggering at the fact that he's explaining himself even though he’s not required to. And you guessed you took too long to reply when your phone buzzed, signaling that he's calling you.
You straightened your back, clicking the green button, "Hello," his voice sounded gruff over the speaker, "are you mad? Promise, she's not my girlfriend or anything. Please don't be mad."
Straight to the point, you see, and his chatterbox personality still comes out whenever he gets mousy about something.
"Jake, chill out." you giggled when you heard his relieved sigh from the other side, "I'm not mad at you, I just did something for a while." you lied, "Besides, why would I be angry if you got a girlfriend?"
There was a beat of silence before he spoke, "I mean, we did make a promise back then so.." he trails off, and the flashback about your salad days takes over.
"Promise me that I'll be the only girl in your life!" you cried, smacking little Jake on the head.
"Ack!" he yowled, his tiny hands flying to the stinging area of his skull.
You were being unreasonable, but the thought of losing Jake to that ugly girl in class 2-A made your younger self throw a tantrum. Wailing like a toddler while stomping around the empty playground.
"Y/N! I didn't do it on purpose! She touched me first!" Jake tried to explain, sprinting to you when you accidentally tripped on a rock, face planting on the dirt, "Are you okay?!"
You hurriedly sat up, not wanting to look weak despite your crying and looked at him, staring at his teary eyes, maybe you are being unfair to him.
You sniffled, wiping your tears away before mumbling, "Just promise me."
Jake sighs, dropping to his knees in front of you and holding his pinky finger out, linking it with yours forcefully but with care, "I promise you, in the name of all my ancestors, that you'll be the one and only girl in my life!" he exclaims, giving you a toothy smile that immediately soothes all your stupid concerns.
"Well, except for my mom and Layla... and maybe some relatives."
You bit your lower lip, heart rate speeding up, "You haven't forgotten about that? We're like, what? Eight?"
"I take my pinky promises seriously!" he declares, making you laugh heartily at his mindless yet captivating jest.
"So, wanna catch up? Let's hang out at the beach." he suddenly proposed, catching you off guard. You peeked at the clock, it's nearing 9 PM but oh well, you're old enough to do this, unlike before that you had to sneak out of the house just to meet up with him.
"Yeah sure. Just give me a few minutes." you agreed and he happily cheered, the call ended after that and you hurriedly stood from your bed; Fixing your hair in the mirror, making sure to spray a decent amount of perfume and tiptoeing out of your house, trudging the road for a seven to ten minutes stroll to the beach.
When you arrived, Jake was already there, fixing a blanket that you assumed he brought so the two of you can sit comfortably instead of getting sand on your buttocks.
"Hello, kind sir." you greeted him like a princess, bowing to him gracefully.
"Hello to you too, mademoiselle." he takes your hand as he mimics the bow that you did.
"You speak french now?" you razzed, resting on the blanket first and tapping the space beside you.
"I was trying to go along with whatever skit you're doing." he says, his tone sprinkled with some attitude but nonetheless still sat beside you.
The atmosphere was tranquil as you both stared at the clear night skies, letting the evening wind blow through your faces, bringing a sense of solace that you really missed.
Until your mouth itches and you break the congenial quietude, bringing up the topic that has been bothering you.
"Say Jake," you started, staring right ahead and disregarding his sparkling eyes that he directed at you when he heard your voice, "you told me that you're going back to Australia for college. It really was a surprise that you're still here. What happened?"
He averted his gaze when you went and returned his stare, "Nothing. Just.. something came up, so my parents told me to stay here instead."
You frowned, your guts telling you that he wasn't telling you the entire truth, but you ultimately decided to let it go for now. You don't want to make him uncomfortable by pushing him to open up to you, knowing that it's been a while since you two had hung out.
Heck, you think- no, you believe that he's closer to your brother now.
You let out a sigh, giving him a covert smile and patting his back, "I'm sorry to hear that."
"Nah, it's fine." his mood shifted into a lighter one, seizing your hand on his shoulder and clasping it into his, "Aside from that, I'm glad that I didn't leave, because if I did," he squeezes your hand, his warmth seeping through your bones, "I wouldn't be able to see you again."
For the nth time that night, for whatever mysterious reason, you went and reciprocated his actions, squeezing his hand tighter, sitting next to him closer, and smiling blithely at him, "Welps, I'm here now." you whisper, and you swear you saw something twinkle in his irises.
"You are." he smiles back, releasing your hand and slinging an arm over your shoulders, "That is why we need to make the most of it, okay?"
You hummed, leaning on his side and snuggling under his hold.
You’ll later say that you missed him, that’s it. You missed your friend, the person who stuck by your side despite your annoying and messy ass.
There's nothing wrong with spending time with a person that you had regarded as your human diary, the person that you once held feelings for. That was all in the past, for now, you'll catapult your qualms away and enjoy the moment.
When it was getting colder, Jake offered to walk you home, laughing like some elementary schoolers while trudging to your house, talking about the dumbest shit you had done during your juvenile years.
It was nice, it was always nice being with him. A sense of warmth within you knowing that you're safe when you're with him.
The reminiscing went to a halt when you stood by your humble abode's gates, "Welps, I'll see you again soon." you stood awkwardly, like you wanted to say more, to do more, but you don't know what words or actions there are to say or do. 
Finally, Jake took the initiative and stepped towards you, enveloping you in his arms and wishing you a good night before parting your own ways. 
As you lay down on your mattress, drowsiness lulling you to sleep, you couldn't help but think about the light pressure on the crown of your head when Jake hugged you.
You chose to remain ignorant, along with the thunderous thumping of your heart in your chest.
---------------------------------------------------
"Oh my god! He's a hottie!" Sunoo exclaimed, gaping at the picture on your phone.
"Let me see!" Jungwon dropped the other side of the shirt that he's been vying for with Riki, making the younger stumble on the floor, the other dashing on Sunoo's spot on the couch.
Your brother groaned, rubbing his stinging buttocks that made contact with the cold wooden tiles, "That fucking hurt."
"Language, Riki." your scolding fell on deaf ears as he continued muttering curses under his breath, directing such vile words to his friends.
You, Riki, and his childhood friends’, Jungwon and Sunoo, are currently in the living room, busting out the souvenirs that you bought for them when the topic of your boyfriend was brought up. (courtesy by the pocketz.)
They were whining to you, begging you to show them a photo, to which you shyly presented your phone up, your lover's social media account opened and ready for them to rubberneck at. It was safe to say that they were awed by his visuals, except for your bratty younger brother.
"I'm much more handsome than him," he comments, draping his body all over the boy who's holding the gadget and looking at the image as well, "bet I'm taller than him too."
"Shut up. Is height your only way of hyping yourself?" Sunoo rolled his eyes, shoving Riki off of him and letting Jungwon grab the phone and have his turn of stalking your boyfriend's instagram account.
"Wow, Y/N, your man looks like he came out straight from a manhwa." Jungwon stated, "And no, sorry Riki, I love you but there is no way you're more handsome than this guy."
"Whatever." Riki gave it up, choosing to hide the shirt that he's keeping tabs on from the corner of the box that made Sunoo shriek, yelling that he already called dibs on the piece of fabric.
Jungwon returned your phone back to you, going over to his friends and joining the chaos.
You chewed on your lower lip, staring at your boyfriend's picture. He does look ethereal. Standing in a field, looking sideways to subtly flex his side profile, and to top it off, the mixture of bright orange-blue hues of the skies highlight his sharp, charming visuals even further.
Your dopey smile was difficult to fight off, suddenly missing him and wishing for him to appear out of nowhere so you could hug and kiss him.
"What's the commotion all about?"
A wild Jake appears, infiltrating your home with a grin and scanning the area before sauntering to the venue of the ruckus You quickly close your phone, tossing it on the table and giving the aussie a side hug when he flumps on the unoccupied space beside you.
"These boys are bickering over the clothes that I bought." you explained, answering his question as he scrutinized the three idiots who kept on fighting over a hoodie, ignoring his existence in the room. "Apparently, they love these kinds of styles."
"I bet they do. Look at them going crazy over a pink hoodie." Jake derides, kicking Jungwon on the butt and chastising them for not even sparing him a glance when he popped up in the room.
"Sorry, didn't see you there hyung." Jungwon nonchalantly says, the other two temporarily paused and muttered an uninterested 'hello' before going back to their serious business of sorting outfits.
"Wow, really these guys." Jake sighs in displeasure, a grimace on his face as he watches the youngsters, "How long have they been at it?"
"About.." you trailed off, peeking at the time, "two hours now. It's getting kinda boring."
Jake pondered for a while, after a minute or two he turned to you and fished out his car keys, dangling it in front of you with a smirk on his face and hazel orbs full of mischief, "Whaddya think of a ride around town?"
You blinked at his spontaneous behavior, shrugging and pretending to think about the suggestion even if you already had an answer, "Sure. I mean, there's nothing much to do here."
Jake cheered and made a dash towards his car, mumbling something about revving it up and you have to come quick. You shook your head endearingly at his excited demeanor, truly like a puppy.
You went to follow him but not before telling the boys who are, until now, arguing over the mundane things about your souvenirs, "Y'all, I'm going out for a while. Look out for the house while I'm gone, and don't destroy anything while mom and dad are not here too."
You stood there for a while, observing their squabble, then you chose to drop the formalities since they're too centered in their own world to even give you the time of their day.
"No, I'm telling you, this is my size!"
"You're too puny for this, c'mon man, be serious."
"I ain't the size of your dick."
"Wha-! Say that again you fuckhead!"
Truly a pandemonium, you purse your lips and rubbed your forehead, shooting your parents a text about your whereabouts and leaving the house altogether because some children just won't listen.
Something scintillated within you when you saw Jake patiently waiting outside, leaning on his car and playing with his phone.
You took your time to extensively admire him, finally seeing him in a holistic perspective.
Him, standing there with his leather jacket, clad in an all black outfit down to his shoes. His charcoal tresses flowing the same way as the wind and oh, how he glows under the glittering rays of the afternoon sunlight is blinding you.
He's flawless.
"Yoi!" you snapped out of it when he called for you, opening the passenger door and motioning for you to get on. 
You hurriedly went in, suspiciously not making eye contact, making you miss the knowing look he sent you. Now, you tried to relax, sitting on the leather seat but my god... his scent is so strong inside, it invades all of your senses, making your hands clammy.
Jake went and sat in the driver's seat, laughing when he saw you struggle to put on the seatbelt. He bent over to your side to help you out, brushing against your hand in the process.
"Your hands are sweaty." he remarked, then raised an eyebrow, "Are you.." he peeked at you from under his long hair, batting his lashes at you, "Nervous?"
Well that did the trick. You were caught red-handed and you’re not quite sure on what to or not to do, stumbling over your words to try and explain yourself.
"Hey, hey, calm down."
You took a deep breath. He's close, too close as he's still hunched over to you. Faces mere centimeters from each other but you need to be brave, gazing into his mellow eyes and feeling yourself settle when his hands enveloped yours, "It's just me, okay?"
"Right." you giggled nervously, "But no, I wasn't nervous. I was only out of it. You know, 'cuz I'm tired." you tried to play it cool like you weren't losing your mind just a few seconds ago.
He, at long last, moved away from you, letting go of your hand and starting to drive away.
"Really now?" he asked, a sly smirk on his lips but it was wiped off and was replaced with a pout when you, shockingly, flipped him off. (he did not expect you to do that, earning you a whiny "Since when have you been so violent?" from him.)
In your defense, flipping someone off is not a sign of violence, but rather an off-handed way of showing affection.
---------------------------------------------------
The trip went smoothly, you weren't anxious like a shivering chihuahua anymore, allowing you to appreciate the beauty of your hometown.
There were a lot of recently developed things.
New buildings, new attractions, and you even saw a glimpse of the upcoming jubilee; the stalls and decorations are a total giveaway.
"Woah, I was gone for a bit and changes like these happened already." you remarked, surprised at the amount of transformation in your settlement.
"Like they say, change is inevitable." he replies and you couldn't agree more. "By the way, can we go somewhere as our last destination?"
The sun was starting to set, the time for you to go home was getting close because your parents made you promise to join them for supper. But it's okay, one more location with Jake won't hurt.
So you agreed, letting him drive while you close your lids, enjoying the salty breeze from the ocean and letting the current of air brush your hair and skin, relishing in the serenity that you barely experience in the city.
After a few minutes, the vehicle went to a halt, hearing Jake murmur a small 'We're here.' made you open your eyes, and you were greeted by the familiar view.
"Oh my god, Jake!" you grinned, running towards the small, dinky wooden house that stood in the middle of the wild grasses and flowers. A rush of happiness flowing in your veins at seeing your 'secret base.'
You gasped when you entered, Jake following closely behind, you couldn't believe what you were seeing.
"Yeah," he bashfully puts his hands inside the pockets of his ripped jeans, biting his lips whilst he inspects your expression, "I took care of our secret base all this time. Corny, I know, but I really wanted to keep this in good condition."
He rambles and you listen, walking around the expanse of the room and true to his words, the four corners of the house are basically spotless. Despite the rust forming around the edges of the metals and a portion of the wood being eaten by some kind of insect, everything is still the same.
"Are you kidding me Jake?" you spun on your heels and ran to him, pulling him into a bear hug and burying your face in his chest, "This is like, the best thing that ever happened to me ever since I came back here!" you exclaimed, staring up at him gleefully.
He lets out a relieved sigh, returning your amity with the same fervor, "I'm glad, I thought I was way overboard with this."
"Pft. No way!" cue you trying to do his Australian accent, breaking the hug and proceeding to jovially push him away, "But genuine question here, why did you go all the way and take the job of being the caretaker for this supposedly tree house." you jokingly quoted the word 'tree house' with your fingers, making Jake hoot in laughter at the hidden agenda of your sentence.
"We really did our best to make this a tree house, unfortunately, we were too dumb to figure out how to build a damn house. Good thing your father is a good carpenter." he chuckles, recalling the memory of how and why the miniature flat was built.
"No, but really, the thing was.. I, ah fuck-" he runs a hand through his silky strands of inky locks, his ears turning red and your heartstrings were pulled by his adorable mien.
What your younger brother told you suddenly echoed in your brain, "Jake's a fuckboy now."
Yeah, he might be, considering the amount of girls that kept on clinging to him while he toured you around the metropolis. You saw a glimpse of it, his flirty persona, but right now, you firmly believe that he's still the same Jake that you knew.
Jake Sim, the guy who befriended you when no one else was willing to because apparently, you were a freak during your girlhood. The same guy who always protected you, stopped you from making poor life decisions that you'd probably regret sooner or later.
The same guy who took you to prom during your senior year, the one who gaped like a fish when he saw you all dressed up, a large grin on his face while he complimented you throughout the night nonstop. The one who never left your side and danced with you during the said event, not glancing at any other women's direction and focusing on you and only you until he couldn't take it anymore and kissed you on your front door.
Jake Sim, your first friend, first kiss, and inescapably, first love.
"Tell me." you urged him, cupping his face and staring right through his worries, "You can always be honest with me."
Jake visibly gulped, his hands moving on its own and engulfing yours that are planted on his cheeks.
"I wanted to preserve the memories." he admits, his eyes softening at your astonishment, "This was the place where we started our family, with our daughter Layla."
You snickered, "Layla.. how is our daughter doing?" you asked, suddenly curious about the adorable dog's whereabouts.
"So now you remember her?" Jake rolled his eyes, but still answered you nonetheless, "She's doing fine actually, she missed you a lot."
"She did?"
"Yeah, she missed you." the volume of his voice dropped, almost purring, raspy and feathery, tickling your insides, "Even her father missed you, if we're going to be blunt here."
"And who is the father?" you inquired, not noticing that Jake guided your hands towards his shoulders, his own palms gliding down your hips and gradually tugging you close to his body.
"Me, I'm the father."
You were too engrossed at the melodrama-like scene that you're starring in, not having the ability to discern that your faces are inching towards each other every ticking second.
*ring ring*
Like a wake up call, thanks to your phone, the two of you jolted and immediately separated, breathing heavily and thinking 'What the hell just happened?'
You answered your phone, your mom is getting dramatic because it's late and she's hungry, telling you to go back home right at this instant.
"Let's go, I'll drive you back." Jake's voice was distant, seeing that he's already outside, waiting for you to exit the house.
The journey back to your residence was a complete 180 of the atmosphere from when you both left. It was taciturn and morose, so much that it made you want to walk back home instead.
When he parked right outside your gates and you were about to offer him goodnight and farewell, he promptly gripped your wrist, preventing you from escaping the auto, "I'm sorry, back there, I.. I didn't know what came over me."
"No, no, it's fine. It was an accident." you say, but then you heard him mutter something, but you couldn't quite hear it. So you asked him to repeat himself.
"I said," he took a deep breath, "I want our friendship to be just like before. If that's okay with you."
You smiled, flicking his forehead as a way of telling him that everything is okay, "I would love that, you doofus."
---------------------------------------------------
Jake watches you enter your home before going off on his own apartment but not before stopping in an vacant road and banging his head repeatedly on the steering wheel.
That was so shitty and uncool of him.
Almost kissing his friend— his friend that has a boyfriend.
He sighs, shutting his eyes and repeating a mantra in his brain, 'Don't do that ever again.'
He barely managed to save the night, a poor attempt at that, thankfully, you're nice enough to let things pass and accept his proposition of rekindling what's supposed to stay in the past.
This is fine. It's foolish of him to think that he's something more to you. So he'll accept the fact that you'll always see him as your friend.
Even if he wants to love you, even if loving you is a complete necessity for him. He'll bury all of those, hidden in his box of filtered feelings and emotions, because once he lets go of his restraints, he'll lose you.
Dear lord no, the mere thought of losing you makes his stomach churn in a not so nice way, evoking the bile to rise in his throat.
Again, he convinces himself that he doesn't need anything else but to have you in his life.
"Jake, keep your shit together." he opens a compartment, looking intently at a bracelet made out of shells tucked safely in a clear glass box.
Wanting you was, is, and will always be more than enough. 
---------------------------------------------------
Undeniably, your parents nagged you for being late to the family dinner, but you paid no mind to them, opting to eat your food at the speed of light and locking yourself in the privacy of your room, throwing your body on the comforts of your bed.
Once inside, you felt like you could breathe again, all the substandard smoke inhaled from earlier finally out of your lungs. You were dizzy from everything that happened today, and you want nothing more but to combust at the mixed emotions that are brewing up.
You almost kissed Jake, for fucks sake. The thing was, you liked the way he looked at you, the way he held you, the way h-
You gasped when your phone rang, guilt running through your whole system when the screen lit up with the words: 'Hoonie 🐧'
You took a deep breath, collecting yourself for a moment before grabbing your device and answering the video call with a giddy smile and shaky hands.
"There she is, my baby, the love of my life, my wife, m-"
"Hoonie!" you whined, cutting the voice off which made the person on the other line chuckle, his loving eyes glimmer when he saw you blush.
"What? Am I not allowed to shower my baby with love?"
You giggled, lying properly down the bed and lifting your arms up so your phone would be directly facing you, letting you admire the man that you proudly call yours.
"Of course you can. How's your practice over there?" you asked, wanting to know his life’s events.
"It's fun actually, I was really nervous at first but guess what, the coaches here in Canada are so nice and they taught me new techniques so I can improve further! And, the pancakes here are so fucking delicious." he's basically rapping, you think, but you still find yourself getting drowned by his voice, the way he excitedly tells you everything about his training camp in another country is endearing. Although, you frowned when he suddenly chips his rants off, a sad sigh escaping his lips.
"Why, what's wrong?" worry graced your expression, making him coo at how adorable you are.
"Nothing. I just wish you were here with me right now."
You watched him sit up from his own bed, leaning onto the wooden headboard and intently studying you, "I wish I could come home to you after practice, then we could cuddle and kiss.. and maybe eat some pancakes too."
You laughed at his unseriousness, really, he could say the most romantic words out there yet he'd still sprinkle it with his weird uncle humor. Well, that's one of the many reasons why you love him.
"You're crazy about those pancakes aren't you?" you watched him nod his head, his eyes crinkling as he probably feels pride swelling within him for making you laugh.
"I'm crazier about you though." he winked, a boyish grin on his lips and you couldn't help but kick your feet like a kindergarten student with a crush.
"Gosh! Now you're just making me miss you more!" you grumbled, lying sideways and hiding your maroon colored face in your pillows.
His melodic chuckles resound in your ears, and you peek at him when he softly, sweetly tells you that he misses you too, tons and lots.
"No but really, aside from dying on how much I want to hold you," you chuckle at his dramatic sentence, "one of the agendas here is because a little birdie told me that you don't want to go to your town fiesta."
You groaned, "I'm gonna tell mom that you called her a little birdie."
"Hey missy, no tattling allowed here." he clicked his tongue before continuing, "But no, it was Riki who told me. And, I think you should go because I heard that it's a special celebration in your town that only happens once a year. Besides, you can't let Riki run around there alone, what if he accidentally stabs himself with a spoon?"
This time, you groaned and whined, explaining to him the many reasons why you don't wanna go. It's hot, there's too many people, and Riki is old enough to handle himself. Really, like a child throwing a fit which made your boyfriend massage his temples, and as you were on your number five reason why you didn't wanna go, you halt when his voice dropped an octave on the other line.
"What if I give my princess a little something tonight if she decides to go?" he says, and something about his tone sends shivers down your spine, especially the way he called you 'princess.'
A pet name that he uses only for certain circumstances.
"What?" you asked dumbfounded, knowing the purpose behind his words but your brain is not fully processing the situation.
"You see, I can feel it when my princess is kind of frustrated.." something in his eyes darkened as he looked at you through the screen, one that shoots arrows down to your core, "because I am too, honestly haven't touched myself for days because it's never sufficient when it's not you."
You almost choked when he let out a deep moan, and you could see the muscles in his biceps moving and bulging. The sound of his sheets rustling is very much an obvious sign that he's starting to play with himself.
"Hoon- I.." you trailed off, rubbing your legs together to generate some relief, every second you hear a guttural groan from him the wetter you become.
Oh fuck, you two were just being lovey-dovey a while ago and now it's getting real nasty... and you're loving every single second of it.
"Yes princess?" he says huskily, looking at you with hooded eyes, waiting for you to speak up.
"Help me, please." you pathetically whimpered, snaking a hand down and inside your shorts and underwear, instantly feeling the sticky juices of your pussy.
"Sadly princess, I can only do that when you say yes to the proposal, yeah?" he replied, tone webbed with feigned sympathy as he smickered at your helplessness.
Your eyes slammed shut, legs twitching and your core in desperate need of release, "Fine!" you concede, taking a deep breath when you heard your boyfriend's triumphant chuckle over the line, "Can you please just-"
"Now, now," the man uttered, biting his lower lip to keep himself from tittering at your desperate demeanor, "listen to me well and do everything as I say, okay?"
You nodded your head as an affirmation, impatiently gathering your wetness that was pooling in your heat, lathering them all over your labia.
"That's my good princess, now can you touch your clit for me?" he instructs, his heavy breathing echoing in your brain as you do what he said. A light moan escaping your lips when your finger nudges your bundle of nerves.
"Circle them around, honey, write my name on that pussy." your lover on the other line shudders at the thought of spelling his name on your glistening part, he'll definitely do it himself the next time he sees you.
"Ah! H-hoonie, need more." you cried out, keeping your voice at minimum so the other occupants of the house won't hear what's going on inside your room. "Please, I need more." you continued whining, writing every syllable of his name on your clit, an unspoken proof of him owning you.
At this point, you're having a hard time maintaining the grip on your phone, forcing yourself to look into the camera, resigned pupils begging for your boyfriend to do something. And when he did say to plunge two fingers in, you immediately obeyed, curling it into your g-spot, imagining it was his deft digits that are pleasuring you, it had you writhing around your sheets, but it's not sufficient. Not adequate to send you to the edge. 
You fucking need him. You need Park Sunghoon himself.
"I-I can't Sunghoon, this is not enough I-"
"No baby, you can and you will." he rasped, and you can barely hear him stroking himself rather harshly, surely he's also imagining your soft, small hands on his cock as he works himself into his orgasm. "Let go princess, cum all over your fingers and I'll make sure that a grand prize awaits you."
You gasped, reaching euphoria with his encouragement, along with his insanely attractive groans while releasing his load into his hand. You moaned his name wantonly until you're panting and the only thing that you could think of is him, and the said award that you'll get when you see him after the summer break. 
Your phone slipped from your grasp, exhaustion seeping in and you don't wanna move anymore. You'll clean yourself up tomorrow, opting to listen to the praises that your boyfriend is giving you, finally sleeping with a satisfied smile when you hear the words that will forever make the zoo in your stomach crazy.
"I love you, my Y/N."
---------------------------------------------------
Giving in to your boyfriend made you lament, and as much as you want to hate him for compelling you agree to this stupid festival, you couldn't bring yourself to do it because apparently, your bouncy brat of a brother who entered your bedroom in the wee hours of the morning (10 am) and his joyful celebration of you coming to the stupid event was enough to make you think that yeah, accepting that proffer may be worth it.
Still, you weren't prepared for it. You only packed the essential clothes necessary for the entire summer break. And it did not include any extravagant, shiny dresses or outfits that are suitable for parties.
Thus, that is how you found yourself walking down the cemented pavement to go to the nearest clothing store after having your not so peaceful brunch. With your brother and his friends going off about how amazing the night party at the beach for the festival would be, you couldn't help but listen to them yap.
You yelped when a car stopped beside you, and you were so ready to dash off or scream if some masked man tried to kidnap you. The familiar black tint of the vehicle made you stop and rethink the overreaction that you're about to pull, then the window of the driver's seat rolled down, revealing none other than Jake himself.
"A pretty lady walking under the sun without an umbrella at like," he paused to look at the imaginary watch on his wrist, "one pm, that's uncanny."
You scoffed, crossing your arms, "The only uncanny thing here is that," you pointed at his face, squinting playfully "wearing sunglasses inside a car, what kind of idiot does that?"
"Hey! This is for fashion!" he yelled, offended at your snide remark, completely forgetting the character he's in. "Anyways, get in. Where are you even going?"
He gets out of his car, opening the passenger seat for you and signaling for you to enter. He stands there patiently, waiting for you to move even though he was clearly upset at your joke, evident by the pout on his lips. You couldn't help but smile, flowers blooming in your chest with how sweet he is.
You amicably walked in his direction, pinching in his cheeks, "You're spectacular in those sunglasses. Now let's go to some clothing store because I have to prepare shit."
While getting yourself comfortable inside his car, you saw him fight back a smile at your compliment, his pronounced cheekbones failing to hide his grin at the last moment.
The drive resumed without a hitch with you explaining the reason for your impromptu trip, and being extra, he just had to go to the mall because, and you quote, "The mall has more options, don't be such a grinch about it." end of quote.
Now, you're having regrets part two of today's adventure because how on earth are you supposed to act when two elderly couples have mistaken Jake as your boyfriend? And he was so casual about it! He could at least act a little flustered because you were always caught off guard!
What does that make you?!
"You don't have to be so shy about it." he pokes fun at you, dragging you around the mall after telling you that he knows a good store that sells really pretty clothes.
"I am by no means shy. I was just surprised that's all, and h-"
"Here we are!" he exclaims, cutting your sentence short when he pushes you inside the shop.
The bell rang, indicating your arrival and you could hear a faint 'Welcome' from the back, probably the only employee for the day, considering the small space of the clothing store.
The ambience inside is nice, the interior was giving Parisian vibes, but you couldn't admire the place for long when Jake shoved a bunch of clothes in your face.
"Here, try some of this on and let me see." he says with an eager smile, you just have to bring out the full potential of your neocortex and thalamus and you'll be able to see his wagging tail.
"You mean I have to model you these?" you raised an eyebrow, entering a dressing room and burrowing through the clothes, picking only the ones that caught your eye, shaking your head when you heard Jake shout about him being the fashion king of your town. 
The first outfit was a simple plaid red skirt and black long sleeve top, to which Jake said that it looks like you're going to a painting class.. it was a no.
Second outfit was a drag, he says, black sleeveless overall that you paired with a white crop top. Certainly, you'll have to remove the entire fabric if you want to pee, which is a good point.
You are now slightly fuming, wanting this shit to end, not until you saw an appealing, off shoulder white dress with golden linings on it. The subtle floral pattern embedded adds to its beauty and you think, yeah, maybe this is the one.
You threw it on without much thought, exiting the fitting room and showing it to your friend who was checking the prices of some of the clothes, "What do you think?"
Jake turned around from where he was standing, and it seems that time has been possessed by a turtle. His eyes widened, raking in your appearance and etching  it into his brain, never to consign into oblivion.
Now, Jake is a devoted Christian. He goes to church to pray, thanking God for all of the blessings he has received in his life. He heard the pastor describe heaven and angels, and as a child, he thought that he'll only see that in the afterlife. Never would he expect that he'll experience nirvana and see a spiritual being whilst alive, all in the shape of you.
He was so mesmerized by you that he didn't even realize you were talking, repeating your question from before. Then his small sphere broke when an unfamiliar voice spoke.
"I think you look great in it, ma'am."
"Oh! Uh-I, thank you..?" you trailed off, looking at the boy's name tag, "Yeonjun?"
"Yeps! That's me!" the black haired man chirps, "Well then, are you getting that? Which I think you should because it really suits you."
You put a hand over your chest, thanking the employee before excusing yourself so that you can return in your previous clothes and pay for the dress.
Meanwhile, Jake was stupefied. He didn't get a word in and he was about to shower you with compliments! He scowled at the tall boy standing in the corner, and when he felt the menacing glare of the aussie, he raised his hands up in surrender.
"I'm sorry man, had to speak to her because you were acting like a statue earlier." Yeonjun explains, but the smirk on his face didn't sit well with Jake.
"Where do I pay?" you appeared out of nowhere, the dress hanging on your arms, effectively breaking the tension between the two men.
"Right this way, ma'am." Yeonjun gladly guides you to the cashier area, giving you a flattering grin while he punches the price of the outfit. Before he could say another word, you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, pulling you flush towards a sturdy body and a black card being dropped in front of the worker.
"I'll pay for it, no buts." Jake's authoritative behavior took you by surprise, thinking real hard on what made him act like this.
You discreetly looked at him, and my god were you blown away by how.. hot he looks when mad?
Wait a minute.. is he?
You heave when you're suddenly hauled out of the store, too busy in your own daydream to actually notice that he's done paying, gruffly grabbing the paper bag from the counter and storming out like an emotional old lady in a telenovela.
"Hold up, Jake!" you forcefully remove your hand on his own, sizing up his weird attitude before asking him what's up, and why the fuck is he upset out of the blue.
He faced the other direction, tuning in on him as he murmured under his breath, and you think you heard some curses like 'motherfucker' and 'cunt' and you had to compose yourself, or else you'll have no choice but to slap him silly for acting so tiresome in the middle of a jam-packed mall.
You sighed, putting your hands on your hips, a stance that mothers use when they're drained of their child's tantrum, "My fucking god, Jake, if you don't tell me what's wrong I'll leave you right here at this instant."
"That cashier sucks!" he bellowed, turning on his feet to face you with a frown, "He thinks he's a hotshot just because he's tall and he's muscular but argh!" he threw his hands up in the air, now sporting a petulant expression whilst crossing his arms over his chest.
"I get it." you giggled, raising an eyebrow at him that had him further frustrated, "You're jealous because he's handsome?"
"Yada yada," he rolls his eyes at your antics, not accepting such despicable reasons, "I'm a walking disney prince, he's no match for me."
"Alright, calm down Jakey." you laugh heartily, finding his baby girl stance absolutely precious, "Get that frown out of your face, you'll get wrinkles!" you went closer to him, brushing your hands all over his face to emphasize your point, not stopping until you saw a glimpse of a smile on his lips. And when you're content, you link arms with him, looking for the nearest ice cream shop, your treat, to cheer him up.
After ordering and settling down in Baskin Robbins, (the only ice cream shop in the mall), you excused yourself for a while. Going to a mini stall that you passed by a while ago to buy a certain necklace.
A silver necklace with the initials 'J' on it. You already made up your mind on purchasing it, a small gift for your friend. Staring at the jewelry now, you know that the adornment will shine on Jake the best.
You smile fondly, silver suits him, you think. Elegant and sophisticated, and the miniscule topaz stone in the letter that represents his name is the selling point for you, truly a necklace made for him.
After thanking the owner of the stall, you returned to the ice cream shop with a pep in your step, but your jolly attitude died down when you saw Jake with a girl at your table. And it appears that he’s enjoying the conversation with the pretty woman. 
'Well, fuck that, I ain't going back there when he's having so much fun without me.'
Your seething aura seemed to reach Jake, shivers running down his spine and his eyes were immediately drawn to the side, orbs widening in alarm when he saw you glowering.
Jake thought that the scariest moment of his life was when he was walking Layla early in the morning, and his dog choked on a piece of bone that was lying around in the neighbourhood, but as of now, he begs to differ.
His fear was audible in all ways, the girl in front of him noticed, making her follow what he was so riveting on and shit, that made you rage even more because it's fucking Kim Chaewon.
The girl who made your childhood a living hell. Your personal bully, the same girl who destroyed the sandcastle you built on the beach at the tender age of 6, the one who took everything away from you, the main cause of your departure in your hometown.
You felt so betrayed, the one person you thought she couldn't snatch from you, right in front of your eyes, was stolen.
You tried not to be affected by the scene, but you couldn't help the tears that pricked into the corner of your eyes when Chaewon smirked at you, and you'll be damned if you let yourself cry in her presence.
You turned on your heels, walking away and ready to commute back home but not before shooting Jake a disappointed look, ignoring his panicked expression.
Jake felt dread, guilt dropping down on his stomach when he saw hurt in your eyes, what's worse is that he's the cause of it.
He stood up right away, ready to follow you and explain the situation. That it wasn't what it looked like. He was about to take off, then he felt a hand grapple his wrist, a coy countenance can be seen on the culprit.
"You're seriously going after her?" Chaewon inquired, a mocking laugh escaped her lips, "What are you even gonna say?"
Jake retrieved his hand in a ruthless manner, sneering at the girl, "That nothing is happening here, she got it all wrong."
"Nothing?" she leered, batting her eyelashes like some bratz doll, "So fucking with me while she's gone and avoiding me when she’s here were nothing?"
"Listen here Chaewon," Jake aggressively leaned in, whispering through gritted teeth with a venom laced tone, "you do not say a word to Y/N, or else." then he left, running in the same direction that you took, making the blonde girl scoff.
Chaewon grimaced at the two cups of unfinished ice cream, setting her elbows on top of the wooden table and stagily resting her chin on her laced fingers, her attention stockpiling at a certain paper bag that's sitting on the left side of the comfy booth.
Scheme and trouble are her capital when it comes to instigations, "Game on, Sim Jaeyun."
---------------------------------------------------
"Y/N! Wait up, please, let me explain!"
You were well aware of Jake's pleads which made you walk faster, unfortunately, races like this meant that the one who has the longer limbs wins, and that wasn't you.
Jake caught up to you in no time, forcefully pulling you into his arms and enveloping you into a tight embrace, not letting you go even if you fight and hit him, accepting all of the profanities that you throw at him, he deserves that much.
It feels like you're in some k-drama. Getting back hugged by your childhood friend in a place where people are nowhere to be found, the skies turning into shades of gray and black, and frankly, you're getting tired of struggling knowing that you already lost the fight since he's so much stronger than you.
When he felt you go limp in his hold, he slowly turned you around so that he could examine you properly, a miscalculation on his part because seeing you in such a defeated state made him want to bury himself six feet under the ground until he's sure that he's paid the damages he had caused you.
"Y/N, please just one chance," he cupped your face, peering at you with such beseech, "please hear me out."
When you didn't speak, he took that as a chance to elaborate his case.
"I know it's wrong of me to interact with her, but she suddenly sat down in front of me. She caught me off guard and I was about to tell her off."
You let out a scornful laugh, pushing him away from you, "So you're saying that she's about to leave?"
He nodded, hope skirting his features but you wiped it all off with your next sentence, "Then why do you need to be so friendly with her, huh?!"
"I don’t want to make a scene there, Y/N. I have t-"
You raised a hand to stop him from saying more, having heard enough of his bullshit for the day, "Cut the crap, Jake, just- give me some time to think about.. t-this." your voice cracked in the middle and the sound reverberated through Jake's heart.
Watching you turn your back away was the hardest shit that Jake has to endure, especially since you're only a hair's breadth from his grasp.
Jake runs his hands over his face, attempting to rub the moisture away.
He has to fix this- No, he will fucking fix this even if it means that he has to go from heaven to hell.
---------------------------------------------------
You went home with a heavy feeling in your chest, ignoring the questions from your family and skipping dinner, (which is a big deal because your mother cooked your favorite food) since you don't have the appetite to join them for a delicious meal. You're tired, and all you wanted to do was cry yourself to sleep in the comforts of your mattress.
You dropped your body in the cotton sheets after washing up, dressing yourself in a simple tee and shorts.
It was eerily quiet, then the horrid memories that you clobbered in the back of your head started to swim back into the surface, your hands automatically went to your hair, gripping it hard as you choked back a sob.
A stuck gum in your precious, long hair that had caused you to cut it short, which made your classmates call you a tomboy.
Your artwork that was destroyed because this jealous girl just had to spray some black paint on it, causing you to lose a painting competition.
That one time when you had a crush on this guy named Soobin, but then he rejected you when you confessed because a certain someone made rumors about you wanting to have sex with him wherein reality, you only wanted to have a date with him.
Being called to the principal's office because you were accused of cheating during finals, which you never did but for some reason, 'evidence' of your wrongdoings appeared, and you lost the chance to become the class valedictorian.
The root of all these shitty things that you experienced: Kim Chaewon.
All the pent up humiliation and anger were released. The thought of Jake, the person who was supposed to be your shield from the disarray being involved with the person that you disliked, no, hate the most is killing you inside and out.
You sniffed, shutting your eyes and letting the tears flow freely as you clutched your pillow close to your chest. How you wished for your boyfriend to save you from this dark hole that swallowed you once more.
"Sunghoon, I need you here please."
---------------------------------------------------
You were rudely awakened by the repeated taps on the glass, a suspicious silhouette moving around the see-through curtain. You observed the shadow for a while until you decided to take action. 
You sit up, quietly grabbing a lamp on the bedside table and cautiously tiptoeing towards the window, you slightly jumped when the intruder knocked again.
You took a deep breath, raising the lamp on your left hand and slowly pulling the curtains to the side. You yelped when you were met with Jake's face pressed onto the glass of the window, clad in an all black outfit and you had to physically stop yourself from laughing with how hysterical he looks.
"Jake?! What the fuck?!" you whisper-yelled, putting the lamp down on your dresser and quickly unlocking the window, ushering him to get in before someone sees him and calls the police.
"What are you doing here?! And in the middle of the night? Do you have any idea that people might see and talk about this?!"
"I have ice cream. You didn't get to eat yours today." he shoves a plastic bag in your face, not minding your words as he huffs and puffs, probably out of breath since he had to climb the tree behind your house and go over the roof so he could slink into your bedroom. 
Yes, because life is not that easy and clichéd that a tree would be conveniently placed right in front of your window on the second floor of your home. Jake has to work for it.
"I don't want it." you uttered, trudging towards your door and opening it, beckoning your head downstairs, "Please leave, I'll be nice enough to escort you out."
You weren't looking at him, you don't have it in you to take him in because you're weak. You're not strong enough to stay mad at him, you know that one gaze into his starry eyes and you're gone, and you couldn't afford to do that.
Still, you should've checked at least once because hearing the plastic being dropped on some furniture and his incoming footsteps made you assume that he's done, that he's leaving, which was not the case.
A surprised gasp left you when Jake's hand grasped yours that was holding the knob, closing the door with a slight thud and he easily towers over you. An uncharacteristic intensity in his usually warm sepia orbs made your knees buckle, your heart rate speeding up when you realized that his masculine body had you trapped. Most importantly, his musky perfume makes you dizzy, clouding your ability to make sound judgment.
"I came here to see you, so no, I'll politely decline the offer of me leaving so soon." he murmurs, his hot breath cascading down your cheeks, and you got even more flustered when his free hand gripped your chin, leniently guiding your vision towards him.
"Please, Y/N, baby. Will you listen to what happened earlier?" he rasps, earnestly peeking into your own eyes as he searches for an answer that he desperately needed.
You'll condemn his perfume, his minty breath, his insanely attractive voice, and the sudden romantic ambience of the room. You'll inculpate anything at this point except your fragile self, because is it supposed to be your fault if Jake has the ability to render you defenseless against his overwhelming power over you?
A shaky sigh escapes you, nodding your head absentmindedly. The pet name surely had an effect on you, to which you could only describe as a grand circus playing around your whole nervous system.
"Jake.."
"There is nothing going on between me and that bitch, okay? I only care about you," he pulls your interconnected hands from the knob, bringing it to his lips and gently pecks your knuckles, "I'll drop anything just to be by your side, you know that right?"
"Please baby, I'm so sorry. I will never get in touch with her ever again. I'm so fucking sorry, I don't- I hate it when you cry, I hate it when you're sad. Please let me make it up to you. Please let me show you how much you mean to me."
You're not an impulsive person, as you'd like to believe, you tend to think first before doing something that you might regret in the future, but as of now, none of that matters.
For once in your life, you took the initiative, connecting your lips with Jake's, pouring all of your feelings in one emotional kiss. He wasted no time in returning it, turning his face sideways to deepen the liplock.
So this is what it felt like to kiss your plush, glossy lips. This is what it felt like to hold you in a way that is more than just some fucking friends.
This is what it feels like to have you. Intoxicating, addicting, and astronomically out of his wildest dreams.
Jake was brought back to reality when he felt you suck on his lower lip, opening his eyes in a haste and pulling away from you.
"I don't think we should d-" he starts, but you hush him by placing your index finger above his lips.
This is.. wrong. You are in a relationship, right? You two shouldn't be doing this.
"Jake," you whisper his name with such mirth, "show me how much I mean to you.. please."
That was the last thing Jake needed, throwing out whatever rationality remained in his brain in exchange for the yearning that he desired for so many years.
He groaned when you willingly opened your mouth for him, allowing him to slip his tongue in, licking every corner of your cavern. You let his wet appendage graze your teeth before moving your own to clash with his. Both are battling for dominance in this erratic exchange of saliva which he inarguably won, and you couldn't keep your moans at bay when he sucked on your tongue.
Pressing his lips into yours once more, a heated make-out ensues with him leading the way, wrapping his arms around your waist and compressing you between his body and the door, wanting to lessen the distance. He wanted more, he needed more, and he sure as hell will make the most out of this.
He'll act as a clueless villain if it means that he'll be able to steal the most precious gemstone that's already owned by someone.
But who fucking cares?
How could one say that it's wrong when everything feels so right? No one is qualified to dictate shit when the pieces of the decimated past are starting to recoup themselves, turning into a masterpiece called a forbidden tryst.
"Keep it down baby, don't want your parents to barge in here don't we?" he muttered against your lips, head moving to your clavicle and you instinctively craned your neck to the side, giving him the permission to paint you with the most colorful hues of blue and purple.
Jake breathes through his nose, inhaling your rousing vanilla and strawberry fragrance. This is what he's ever dreamed of. You, in his arms, marking you as his and only his.
One rainy day, he woke up only to realize that he wanted to be the man to make you happy. He wanted to cook meals with you, travel around the world, take candid photos of you and set it as his wallpaper. He wanted to be the person that you'll meet at the end of the church aisle.
The recollection of when it started was totally blurry.
Was it when you cried over that dimpled man back during 8th grade? Or was it when he saw you in your ball gown for prom? He has no idea, but he does know that he's prepared to give and let go of everything just for you.
Jake clutches on your waist even tighter, nuzzling his nose in the nook of your neck and leaving lightweight kisses up to your mastoid. He smiled when he heard you giggle, biting your ear lobe teasingly, "Still ticklish I see."
You poked his side in retaliation, making him jump and shriek a bit, "So are you."
"Why you little-!" Jake carried you like a sack of potatoes, dropping you on the cushions haphazardly yet you felt his palm on the back of your head, acting as an insulation so the impact won't hurt you.
"You'll be sorry for that." he says with a smirk, wedging himself in between your legs, and before you could reply, he kissed you deeply, proceeding to attack your neck with pecks and bites, sucking in the spot that had you gripping his hair.
His hand started to explore your body, tracing your shape and going inside your shirt, stopping right under your boobs. Jake lifted himself off, his eyes speaking for himself, silently asking for consent if it's alright to remove your clothes.
You nodded and started peeling off the shirt, the fabric getting comically stuck on your forehead (that's what you get for wearing clothes from your junior high days). You both laughed at the witless situation, and despite all that, you felt him help you out of the predicament but not without leaving a kiss on the exposed lower half of your face.
When the shirt is finally out of the way, you hastily remove your shorts as well, leaving you in nothing but a pair of panties because yes, you did not put on a bra, finding it ridiculous to wear one inside your own house.
You suddenly felt conscious when you noticed that Jake was unmoving and you found yourself covering your upper body, a movement that made the boy snap out of his daze.
"No, baby don't cover up," he grins sweetly at you, gulping down his nerves, "sorry, you're gorgeous, I can't help but admire."
You bit your lower lip, glancing at him and tugging at his own clothes, "Then be fair, give me something to admire too." you shyly said, avoiding eye contact when you saw him grin.
Jake instantly shrugged every piece of his attire, baring his all to you, and your eyes almost popped out of their sockets because what the hell?
Of course you knew he was well built, his fitted outfits leave nothing to the imagination at times, but fuck you to the moon and back, you did not expect him to be this muscular. He has abs! For goodness sake, you weren't prepared, and it shows since Jake has to boop you in the nose to get you out of your daydream.
"I know the view is amazing," he gently laid you down, positioning himself on top of you, "but tonight is all about you, darling."
He pulled you in for another solid minute of make-out session, this time though, he touches you with more vehemence. Snaking his hand on your chest, gripping your left boob and lowering his head down to give the other the rightful attention it deserves.
You moaned his name when he suckled on your nipple, tongue circling around the areola and occasionally biting to add more to the sensation. He used his fingers to twitch and pull on the other nipple, his other hand trailing over your stomach, down to the navel until it reached your heat. He experimentally dipped a finger, gathering your juices and groaning at how wet you are for him.
"Baby, you're dripping and I've only done the bare minimum." he mutters, releasing your nipple with a pop and staring down at you with desire written all over his features, "You really want me that bad?"
"Yes Jake," you answered without any hint of doubt, "I want you, please, do something." you begged, and who was he to say no to his beautiful baby.
"Your wish is my command, princess." he grinned, going into full action as he slid down, coming face to face with your core.
Princess.
There was only one person who called you that. It should hit you by now that this is taboo... but it's just one night.
After this, you'll move on and act like nothing happened. Isn't it?
You weren't able to delve deeper into your thoughts when you felt a finger inside your pussy, a warm mouth lapping at your wetness and sucking on your clit harshly. Your back arches when another digit goes inside you, going at a moderate yet wonderful pace every time it curls and hits a spot that has you curling your toes.
"Right there!" you moaned, getting closer to your orgasm, Jake sensing this made adjustments to his ministrations, basically going into feral mode. His deft fingers pumped in and out of you vigorously, his sucking, add to that the small nips in your bundle of nerves are getting too much for you to handle.
"Cum for me." he uttered, and the mini encouragement and vibration from his voice had you undone within a few seconds. Gushing into his face which he happily guzzled on, not stopping until you told him to stop, sensitive from the overstimulation.
He went up to your face and you could see the shiny slick on his lips, "That felt good?"
You smile, pulling him in for a kiss, tasting yourself in his tongue, "Very much, but what about you?"
"Baby, didn't I tell you that tonight's all about you?" he shakes his head, using his own limbs to spread your thighs open, allowing him to slot himself in the middle, goosebumps rising on your skin when you feel his tip prod at your entrance.
"Then what are you waiting for?" you taunt, wrapping your legs around his waist, pressing him closer to your soaking cunt. "Take me, Jake."
You really have a way with words or maybe you have this effect on him like magic, whenever you talk, all he could think about is making you his.
Inch by inch, he inserted his big, fat cock inside you and you know, because you feel it. The way he stretches you out just the right way, the vein on the side of his dick pulses every time you clenched on him, and when he finally bottomed in, you both let out a sigh that you didn't know you were holding.
Jake grits his teeth, putting the tip in and he thinks he's crazy because it's just the head but your pussy is sucking him all in and it almost made him cum.
He calmed himself down, if he's intending to pleasure you as much as he could, he's sure as hell to make himself last longer than usual.
He lets you adjust to his length, taking in a slow pace when you whisper for him to move. Gently rocking his hips into yours, making sure that he wasn't hurting you in any sort.
Then you begged for him to move faster, harder, truly, you're making this more difficult than it's supposed to be. He could hardly contain himself, but the more you egged him on, the more he let loose.
"Ah!" you cried out when Jake did a rather ruthless thrust, his tip hitting your cervix deliciously and it was getting him drunk off of you. He got a taste of you, and it'll be difficult to stop. He rammed into you mercilessly, the creaking of the bed was the least of your concerns now as you're more focused on the delightful feeling he's giving you, unconsciously scratching his back.
Jake hisses at the pain, but it motivated him to no end, knowing that you love what he's doing to you right now. Knowing that the reason you're acting like this is because he's doing you, as of the moment.
Your warm, wet walls hugged his cock so nicely that it made him believe that your pussy is made for him. Truly, every time he pushes in, you get tighter and it feels like paradise.
Nothing matters but the hushed moans of his name on your lips, he doesn't care about anything other than how good you feel.
You weren't in a good condition either, you're losing grasp of what's real, drooling mindlessly at the delight you're receiving. The man on top of you gives it his all, fucking you with all his strength as his length hits all the perfect spots inside you, making your eyes roll and see stars at the back of your brain.
Jake really tried to hold on, but your sudden release made your walls squeeze his cock, a low groan coming out of him as he cursed and complimented you on how well you're doing for him.
"Baby, I'm close." he warned you, sweat forming on his forehead and dripping down to your cheeks, and he finds it so hot when you dart your tongue out to lick the salty substance away.
"Inside, Jake. Please come inside me."
"Are you sure?" he slowed down a bit, peering into your eyes for confirmation.
Then you cupped his face, smiling at him lovingly, "Yes, I trust you."
That was all it took for him to release his seed inside you, thrusting shallowly to ride out his high until he collapsed on top of you, rolling over and slipping out of your walls when you halfheartedly complained about how heavy he is.
He finally did it.
Jake felt like a champion, one chance was enough for him and he's thanking all of the deities out there internally for giving him the opportunity to show you the love he's been meaning to shower you with.
He felt his body stiffen when you laid your head on his chest, telling him to stay, but what terrified him the most was when he listened to your request and naturally wrapped his arms around you.
Jake focused on you, combing your hair using his fingers as he watches you drift into dreamland.
You look ethereal like this, glowing under the dim light of the street lamps outside and how he wishes for you to continue being with him like this until you're grey and old.
He'll slip out of bed later, (couldn't risk getting caught by your family in the morning), and write you a note to make sure that you won't feel like shit when you wake up. For now, he'll relish in the blanket of your warmth and even breathing.
The boy sighs, his hand moving to your back, fingers lightly tracing his name over your smooth skin, 'J A K E '
---------------------------------------------------
It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but then Jake finds himself in your window again the next night, and you let him in every single time. The moment he steps inside your room, no more pretending, straight to kisses and you getting railed into your mattress.
It was like a routine you both fell into, but as much as the guilt gnaws on your conscience, it was too good to let go. A drug you couldn't get enough of, you both have fallen into this wild goose chase but it's very much late to back out.
That's what happens behind closed doors when the moon shines, the strenuous task begins during the day.
Seriously, how are you guys supposed to act in front of your family and friends when there is 'something' going on.
It was exhilarating though. Sneaking knowing glances across the room, sometimes with a matching wink, the subtle thigh touching, following each other into a room without any people just to steal smooches.
It was all fun and games until someone had to make the situation even more arduous, courtesy of your brother whining about going to the beach without your parents aka friendly bonding.
It should be easy, acting like normal best friends and playing around in the water but noo, of course even a simple hang-out would turn into a battle of 'the first one to gape like a fish loses.'
By all accounts, it never crossed Jake's mind that you'd be daring enough to wear a swimsuit that shows a lot of skin, because you're usually a conservative little girl. So he was astonished when you exited the changing room, sporting the sexiest red two-piece, shaking his head in disbelief when you discreetly threw a smirk on his way.
He knew you were playing a game, displaying your ass for him, swaying your hips while walking towards the chosen spot for today's hang-out.
Jungwon whistled, Sunoo made a surprised pikachu face, and Riki paid little to no attention to you when you sat down on the blanket with them, under a big umbrella that you rented out shielding you from the scorching sun.
"Is this what the city air does? I dig it." Jungwon says, giggling when Riki hollered in disgust, side-eyeing you before making a comment about how he'll smack Jungwon in the head if he remotely said anything like that again.
Jungwon raised his hands up in defense, looking over Sunoo's direction for assistance, "I was complimenting her! Help me out here, man."
Sunoo raised an eyebrow, doing his infamous googly eyes at his friend, "You did sound like a pervert there but yes, I'll agree that Y/N looks great." he turned to you and gave you a thumbs up, to which you returned with finger guns.
Jake quietly nursed his bottle of cold beer, not participating in the conversation until the three stooges pointed it out.
"Yoi, one beer is all it takes for you to go mute?" Jungwon mused, Riki followed up with the teasing, saying that maybe Jake hasn't been getting laid, thus, the cranky disposition.
"Wha-! No, lemme tell you that I've been getting it so well nowadays." he defended himself, but not without giving you an inconspicuous glance.
"I don't wanna hear your sexcapades," Sunoo stood up, pointing at the ocean excitedly, "I think it's time to play, no?"
The other boys agreed except for you, telling them that you want to take a look of the scenery first before joining them in the water.
"You sure?" Jake asked, and you gave him the positive signal and he shrugged, "Suit yourself."
It was his turn to make you flustered.
Now, you have seen the guy naked, but it was during lights out, not in broad daylight, so the gulping that you did was unplanned. Staring at him while he removed his plain tee, bearing his toned muscles and abs for you to ogle at.
You glared at him when he threw a smug look in your direction, thanking the gods that the other younger boys were oblivious as fuck, mainly, their priority was the race to the water because the loser will buy them milkshakes later.
"What are you playing at Jake?" you questioned, standing up from your seat and doing your very best to look at him square in the eye, forcing yourself not to look down.
"Baby," he says, walking closer to you, licking his lips when he focuses on your cleavage, "you started this didn't you? Make sure to finish it then."
You weren't able to utter another word when he walked away and joined the others in the sea like nothing even happened, like he didn't make your heart race with exhilaration.
You huffed, turning on your heels to ambulate around the area, unaware of Jake's predatory gaze on you.
You watched the soles of your feet sink into the sand, leaving footprints behind, your brain contemplating the whole scenario that is sure to bring a storm into the fragile house made of cards. Starting from when you and Jake began this.. affair. Then your thoughts drifted to Sunghoon, you mowed at the unearthly concept, your conscience punching you in the face.
Your boyfriend is probably out there, tiring himself out during practice, doing his best to improve his skating skills so he could show off and make you proud when he wins all the gold medals for his competitions. While you're here, doing the unimaginable with a man that is supposed to be just a friend.
You paused, hugging yourself as some kind of comfort. Maybe you missed Sunghoon so much that you unconsciously went and found some kind of intimacy, any kind of affection that will satisfy you while you're away from your lover.
Will you really put the blame on that? Yes, it's pathetic but you have already crossed an unforbidden threshold, a thorny one that bleeds you dry but the more you drown in it, the more you get hooked.
You shook your head, trying to get a clear vision of how this is supposed to end, too lost in your own thoughts that you didn't notice a pair that was trudging towards you, that is until their voices startled you out of your reverie.
"Uh yes? How may I help you?" you inquired cautiously, looking around just in case, and you felt stupid for not covering up because you can definitely feel their stares on your exposed skin.
"Relax pretty, we won't hurt you." the guy with a mullet spoke, smirking at you, the taller boy beside him nodded before adding a statement in.
"We noticed that you're alone, it's kind of dangerous here you know?"
"I'm a local, I know my way around here." you replied in a monotonous tone, letting them know that you're not interested in whatever they want to do with you.
"If you're a local," the mullet boy came closer to you, invading your personal space which made you frown and back up, "then how come that your face is not familiar?"
You took a deep breath, getting ready to shut them down when a towel was draped around you, a protective arm slinging on your shoulder and pulling you into a cast-iron body.
"Because she's keen on keeping her privacy, to avoid harrowing guys like you."
You'd recognize that voice anywhere, but you were surprised to hear such menacing articulation from him, very different from the usual sugary one that he always uses.
"Well hello to you too, Jake." the taller guy with brown hair greeted the aussie, a friendly smile on his face yet his passive-aggressive tone threw his calm demeanor away.
"Hello, EJ and Nicholas, didn't expect to see you here." Jake responds, matching the taunting attitude of the duo.
You clung to Jake, not minding the droplets of water if it means that you'll feel protected.
"Oh, is this your new bitch?" the one called Nicholas laughed, giving an amused applause and a low whistle, "You really have great taste, Sim."
You heard a low growl erupting from Jake's chest, his muscles tensing and you saw how he clenched his fist, getting ready to throw a punch if the need arises, "Don't you fucking disrespect my girl."
"Ah!" the ponyo look-alike named EJ mused, like a lightbulb went off in his brain, "Your girl? She's your girlfriend?"
"No way!" Nicholas sniggers, a surprise etched on his face, not believing what he was hearing, "A fuck boy like you settling down with a girl like her? That's some fucking news man."
One moment Jake was beside you, then he was gone, launching a full blown strike into Nicholas's face, and putting your scouts honor on the line, you’re sure heard something crack.
"Jake!" you cried out, fear creeping into you as you tried to simmer Jake down.
"A girl like her? A girl like her?! Fucking asshole, take that back!" Jake yells, about to attack the other man again but a divine intervention transpired, namely your brother and friends who came to the rescue.
They noticed that you two were gone for a while now, and thank god they decided to hunt for you both or something very bad might have happened.
"Oh my! Hey! Hyung, calm down!" Jungwon and Sunoo held Jake back while Riki got in between, helping Nicholas up, asking for forgiveness to deescalate the fight.
"Don't apologize to that asshole, he fucking disrespected your sister!" Jake shouts, breathing heavily through his nose, struggling to contain his anger.
Nicholas scoffs and wipes the blood from his busted lower lip, "I was stating a fact, that she is your bitch."
Silence ensues when Riki harshly shoves Nicholas, his friend EJ catching him before his ass makes contact with the sand. You've never seen your younger brother display an act of dominance before, rage brewing in his glare as he spoke in a threatening tone, "EJ, you're the sensible one here, get this fucker out of my face before I do something that we'll regret."
"This runt-" Nicholas was about to retort but he was dragged away by EJ, effectively stopping the brawl.
Jungwon and Sunoo sighed in relief, finally releasing Jake from their grip. Riki then went to you, softly patting you on the head as if he's saying that he's got you, that no one is allowed to mess with you except for him. Then he turned to Jake, "Thank you for defending her, hyung."
You all decided to go home after that incident, the mood totally ruined and you can hear the boys plot revenge as payback while you're changing, and you had to stop them right there.
As a compensation though, you and Riki invited them to stay for dinner, to which they happily agreed, not wanting to miss the opportunity of having free food.
When all of you stepped foot inside the reassuring space of your home, the sullen spirit from before was lifted up by some video games and snacks that your parents provided, letting you guys have fun while they prepare dinner.
You watched as Sunoo, Jungwon and Riki yell at the top of their lungs, accusing one another of cheating until one of them actually does it and everyone loses their minds. You laugh, then suddenly you were hyper aware of Jake's presence beside you on the sofa when his knee accidentally touched yours.
Your eyes discreetly slide over to his hunched form, the dim lights of the living room somehow highlights his sharp features even more, yet it made him look softer. You always had a habit of being obvious it seems since Jake turned to you with a questioning look on his face, silently asking you what's wrong.
You have to make up an excuse asap, and the lacerations on his knuckles provided the best one.
"I think we should treat that." you pointed at his hands, crummy reason but you'd stick to that rather than admit that you have been admiring him like a creep.
"Oh this? It's fine, it doesn't hurt that much." he looks at his knuckles, waving off your offer but you insist, telling him that it's the least that you can do after acting as your knight in shining armor in your damsel in distress. Thus, you find yourself alone with him in the bathroom, Jake sitting on the cover of the toilet while you rummage through the cabinet for the first aid kit.
"Found it, here." you ushered him to show his hand to you, placately tending to his wound, cooing at him like a mother hen whenever he hisses at the sting, making him chortle at the way you're acting. When it's all done, he thanked you, ready to leave but for some reason, you tugged him back to his position and placed your lips on his in a flash.
Jake was suddenly rigid, not really knowing how to react at first but he is nothing but a weak man when it comes to you, so he did what he does best, show you how much power you have over him, kissing you back as hard as he could. Then your next words made his head spin, like he's drunk off of you.
"I haven't thank you enough, Jake." you murmur against his lips, lowering your head to have your mouth reach the skin on his neck, sucking and biting it until you have left a visible mark. Your hands slithered over his clothed body, feeling his abs as you got on your knees for him, "Let me take care of you this time, hm?"
How can he even say no to you, he's going crazy right now. Your doe eyes begging to him, to let you pleasure him. Your silky voice calling him baby like he's the only boy you've ever called with that name. Your small hand on his crotch, palming him over his jeans. He couldn't say no to you.
"Go on then, I'm all yours." he rasps, relaxing his whole body and enjoying the show that you'll gladly perform for him.
You smiled and bit your lips, excitement coursing through your veins as you began to unbuckle his belt, lifting himself up to help you remove his pants and boxers so you could get to work.
His length sprung up a bit, having been freed from its constraints, still a bit soft but your mouth still waters from its sheer size. Your adventures with Jake always end up with him pleasuring you, never really giving you the chance to appreciate him like how you've always wanted.
You gently grabbed his manhood, your finger tracing the prominent vein on the side down to his balls, causing a sharp inhale from the man above you. You licked your lips, gazing at him from under your lashes, "What do you want me to do, Jake?"
God fucking shit.
Jake could cum just from your innocent teasing but he has to hold himself back, he must enjoy this, because he’s aware that this will be the best blow that he'll ever receive. He hasn’t experienced it, but he’s about to and if it’s you, he knows damn well that it will be out of this world. 
He takes hold of your hair, gathering your strands and creating a ponytail, letting you kiss around his crotch and groin, then he stops you with a rather harsh tug on your scalp.
"Take me baby, use that pretty mouth of yours, and only your mouth." he instructs, giving emphasis to not using your hands which you immediately obligue, massaging his balls with your tongue until he tells you to stop.
Jake went and grabbed his dick, the tip leaking with precum and had half the mind to smear it all over your glossy lips, "Spit on it, then use your hands."
He doesn't need to elaborate more as you collect whatever moisture you can get inside your mouth, spitting on his member and lathering it all over his cock, moving your palm up and down, the slick making your movements smoother.
He can't wait anymore, not when you're allowing him to do things to you. No more restraints as he grabbed your chin, your mouth forming an 'o' shape and gave you this look, quietly informing you that he's done playing. You nodded, finally taking him in your mouth and you couldn't help the pride that swells within you when he suppresses his groans.
You coughed up a bit when the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, some tears forming due to gag reflex, but Jake was unforgiving, whispering about how good you take him and that you should do more if you really wanted to thank him for everything that he's done for you.
You began to bob your head up and down, relaxing your jaw and hollowing your cheeks so you could take more of him, ignoring the pool of spit that formed on the corner of your mouth, letting it drip down your neck. 
You started off slow, gradually increasing the pace. You used the tip of your tongue to zone in on the smaller and more sensitive areas of his member, pausing the bobbing of your head so you could pay attention to his angry, red head. Wrapping your lips around it and sucking, like a child with a lollipop, slowly.. slowly, enjoying his grunts and praises about how good you make him feel.
Jake felt his dick twitch when you used your hand, wrapping it around the base of his cock, adding pleasure to the parts that couldn't reach your mouth (because he's big af), and he felt himself losing control, a small apology leaving his mouth before he sets the rhythm himself. Holding your head steady as he stood up, his manhood not leaving your mouth and he started thrusting mercilessly. His dominant side always gets to you, and he knows because he's hearing those gagged moans as he used you like his personal fuck toy.
"I'm close baby." he warns, and he looks down, and fucking hell, the image has been burned into his brain. Messy, you're basically crying and drooling around his cock, your hands helplessly holding onto his thighs for support while you struggle to breathe through your nose. 
Truly, the best view he's ever seen.
He staggers, not bothering to pull out of you, releasing his seed inside your mouth, not giving you a choice but to swallow all of it.
Jake exhales, satisfaction painted on his face while he slides out of your wet cavern, finally giving you the opportunity to catch your breath.
He knelt down in front of you, his forefinger smudged the strayed mixture of his cum and your saliva on your chin, swirling it around before inserting his digit inside your mouth, a smirk forming in his lips when you obediently sucked on it.
"That's my girl, now let's get you cleaned up, yeah?"
---------------------------------------------------
"Bro, hey! Are you listening?"
Felix, one of Jake's friends from Australia snapped his fingers in front of the said man, breaking him out of his daze as he turned his attention from his phone to his friend.
"Pardon?" he asked, shiny eyes blinking while smiling innocently.
Felix rolled his eyes, pointing an accusing finger at the younger, "You've been fixated on your phone the whole day. Say, you're waiting for your girlfriend to text you, no?"
"I'm not!" he fights back, "And how many times do I have to say this, she's not my girlfriend!" he grumbles, running a hand through his hair.
Jake has always been a popular guy in this town, and obviously, after the incident at the beach, rumors fly through gossip faster than light.
"Jake and Y/N are together!"
That's what they all say, and as much as he loves the sound of you two dating, he's worried that the.. girls that he's been with might go crazy and attack you. He doesn't want you to get hurt, but all that he can do is deny everything. Heck, even Jungwon, Riki, and Sunoo helped in putting the baseless fire out.
"Doesn't look like it to me." Chan then interrupted the discussion, emerging from the kitchen with bottles of coke in his hand, setting it on the table and letting the other boys refresh themselves from the heat of the summer season.
"That's what I've been saying." the freckled boy agrees, finally having someone side with him.
Jake was about to retort again after gulping his sugary cola, but he stopped when he received a notification from you, saying that you need a ride and you're currently at the parking area behind the mall. He jumped from his seat, bamboozling his way out of his friends' apartment, bidding his friends a hasty goodbye.
Jake went back for a second, his head peeking from the door, "Oh and Felix." 
Said man was startled, pointing at himself with a confused look on why his name was called all of a sudden.
"Yeah you, to answer your question earlier. No, I won't be going to the club or party or whatsoever. Hooroo!" and he was gone.
The two boys who were left in the living room looked at each other and shrugged, "Not his girlfriend, he said."
---------------------------------------------------
You were near having a panic attack, who would've thought that going to the mall to buy a new dress (because your last one was sadly lost and never found), would cause such chaos?
Tons of girls are either asking you about how you got together with Jake and how lucky you are or just plainly wanting to pull your hair out for stealing their prince charming... and you had enough of their bullshit.
You stood there in the parking lot, waiting for the very main cause of your dilemma to come and pick you up. Just then, a familiar stygian Kia entered the empty lot, stopping right in front of you then Jake himself appeared right out of the vehicle.
You wanted to scream at him for causing you so much trouble but a lump was caught in your throat when you saw his disheveled appearance, clearly rushing here to get to you but still managed to look exceptionally good.
How can one look like a painting da Vinci himself made even when his hair is all over the place and the collar of his denim top was not fixed at all?
Fear not, only he, Sim Jaeyun, can pull it off.
"Y/N! Are you okay?!" he dashed to you, holding you by your shoulders and examining you thoroughly if you were hurt. He swears, if he sees one tiny scratch on you, he'll haunt whoever caused the damage.
You almost cried at how sweet he is, but you opted to bury your face on the crook of his neck instead, surprising him but he returned the embrace nonetheless, entwining his fingers on the strands of your hair and setting his chin atop of your head. Apologizing for whatever happened to you, knowing that he was the root of all of these.
"No," you detached yourself, staring down at your white sneakers and how it complements Jake's brown leather shoes, "I guess I was shocked because I was literally being mobbed in there. Felt like a celebrity for a second." you tried to joke about the situation but Jake remained sympathetic.
"What are you even doing out here?"
"Well, I still need a dress for the festival.. which is tomorrow."
Jake facepalmed, laughing at his stupidity because how could he forget?
He held your hand in his, tugging you with him and ushering you inside his vehicle. When asked where he was taking you, all he replied to you was giddy "Secret!"
Soon, you arrived at his flat, and you were awed because it's been too long since you visited in here. Certainly, it still looks the same and the memories came rushing in like a wave.
Running around the house, chasing Jake with a spatula because he thought it was a great idea to scare you while you were in the bathroom, planting an oak tree in his small backyard, making him promise to take care of it even if he’s hoary and hunched.
You followed him to the steps, a delicate smile on your lips when you saw the rust on his door, surely a sign of the aged building. Upon entering, a familiar border collie ran up to you, sniffing you before wagging its tail in pure joy, making you squeal because she remembered you.
"Layla!" you hugged the little bundle of joy, rubbing her fur zealously, "You've grown so much! I missed you!"
Hearing your voice must have set off something from the dog as she threw herself over you, basically begging to be babied like how you did before. And you are willing! Except that she’s hogging you, her whole weight pushed on you which made it hard to breathe. 
Jake, who was standing at the side, watching the wholesome interaction with glittering expression sensed your distress, "Layla! Come here!" he called the dog, using the treats that were stored as a way to entice the furry creature, which definitely worked.
"Sorry about that, she gets excited really easily." Jake went to you and helped you up when Layla was busy with her snacks, "Told you she really missed you." he adds, making you chuckle.
"I can see that. Well, what do you need to do that requires you to kidnap me here?" you asked, gazing at him curiously which made him nervous.
"Right." he scratched the back of his neck, giving you a sheepish grin, "Would you mind if I go to my room for a bit?"
You puckered your lips in curiosity but didn't question him any further, telling him that it's fine and that you'll wait. When he got out of his room, he was holding a pink paper bag, shyly walking up to you and handing you the item.
"What is this?" you accepted the bag, fishing whatever it was residing in there, then your eyes shimmered in recognition, hastily pulling it out and an attire was presented to you.
An elegant, satin red dress. An outfit that looked exactly like the one that you were eyeing back when you were 15, the age where you wanted to act like a model or some actress, and the red dress in a catalogue made you feel like you could reach such dreams.
"Do you want to try it?" he asks and you nod your head, heading towards the bathroom, leaving Jake and his nerves for him to calm. But you wouldn't let him, how could he when you got out of the toilet wearing the shade of autumn that represents all of his thoughts and emotions for you.
You walked closer to him, merrily twirling around to show off, "What do you think?" you look at him expectantly, skittish for his reaction.
Jake gave you a once over, hands in his pockets as he raked in your appearance, from your head to toe, and he tried his best to come up with a coherent answer. "You are," he inhales, removing his hands from his pockets and throwing it up in the air and placing it on either of your shoulders, "ethereal."
His heart beats strangely fast, which is a natural occurrence whenever he's with you. It always happens whether he likes it or not, something that he has no control over. He fixes his gaze into your gorgeous eyes and he soaks in them. 
Everyday he swims to the thoughts of you, diving deep into the complexity of his feelings and hoping that when he ascends, you'll finally be able to see him in a different light.
"Say Y/N, would you like me to chaperone you during the fiesta?" he queries, and you couldn't help but laugh at his old method of asking you to be his date for the party.
You gathered his hands on your shoulders and held them into yours, transferring your warmth into his own skin as opposed to the cool air that starts to surround the house due to the darkening of the skies outside and the whirring of the air-conditioner, "I would love to."
Then your phone sets off, what a way to ruin the moment but you were pulled back into reality when you saw the caller.
"I'll be right back." you gave the man a tight smile, trudging down the hallways and out to the backyard to give yourself some privacy, unbeknownst of Jake's footsteps that followed you due to your anxiousness, but he made his presence hidden, and his blood boiled when he realized who it was that you're talking to.
He heard snippets of the conversation, and as much as he knows that he's in the wrong, the jealousy rises up to his stomach unprovoked, choking him until he's out of air.
"Yes, Hoonie, I'm having the best time here."
Best time because he's with you, making you feel like you're the only woman in the world.
"I do, I'll send you a photo of the dress soon."
The dress that he personally bought.
"Alright, take care. Uh-huh, love you too, my figure skating prince."
Well, that's fucking it.
The green eyed monster got the best of him, rage seeping through his bones and.. and he thinks he needs a glass of water to settle down. He runs to the kitchen, reaching for his favorite mug and filling it with ice cold water, letting it run down his throat and he wishes he could just dump it down on his brain to cool off the fiery envy that swiftly creeps up on his whole being.
He jumped a bit when you called his name, startling him when you were there, standing by the kitchen door with concern gracing your features, "Are you okay? Is something wrong? You don't look too good."
A barrage of questions and he answered it all in his brain in fear of saying something that might potentially hurt you.
Is he okay? No.
Is something wrong? A lot. You. Him. This. Whatever the fuck this is.
He doesn't look good? That’s where you're wrong. He always looks good.
His internal battle and fuming facade had you worried, taking steps closer to him in an attempt to console him. He was fine a few minutes ago, now he’s acting like this? 
The moment you stepped into his sanctuary, touching him on his biceps, all his walls broke down and he immediately pulled you closer to him, connecting your lips together in a hot, messy, searing kiss.
He held you by your waist and you automatically wrapped your arms around his neck, granting him the license to trap you between his sturdy body and the marbled counter.
On the other hand, when your boyfriend called you, taking in his soft voice, his longing words. Hearing him tell you how much he misses you and how everything will be easier only if he has you by his side.. and his never ending canadian pancake jokes, this time with maple syrup.
It reminds you that you are taken, but you let yourself fool around for too long and you're stricken with guilt. Sin written all over your heart and soul because Sunghoon's own heart was getting broken without him even knowing and Jake's will sooner or later be shattered as well.
You walked back inside the building, determined to put an end to this fallacy as soon as possible. You've let yourself fall into the rabbit hole, and you believe that you have been only missing your other half to the point where you willingly rekindled an old flame, thinking that this summer thing would be the answer to your loneliness.
But you proved yourself wrong yet again when you let yourself be submerged into Jake's honeyed touches and spicy kisses.
You couldn't simply say no to him, not when every crevice of your body has been explored by him, savored and shaped to perfection exactly to his liking.
You moaned his name when his hand massaged your boobs over the thin dress, his thumb adding slight pressure to where he's sure your nipples are located. His tongue never stopped invading your mouth, asserting dominance that you've never seen from him before.
He hoisted you up the counter, spreading your legs for him to slot his tiny waist in, and when the need for oxygen was needed, you both parted ways and the string of saliva between your lips made the tips of yours ears red.
Jake's heated gaze had you embarrassed, his left hand on your thigh started moving, deft fingers tracing faint lines on your skin and you barely made out the words.. 'M I N E.'
You were inclined to return his stare, and all you could do was to revive the long forgotten yearning that you had left a year ago, everything that has been existing inside his hazel orbs.
There were a lot of uncertainties. What if you didn't leave your small town to pursue a city life? What if you stayed here instead? Will the changes be different like how things were right now?
No lingering stares across the room, no skinships concealed by friendship, no more denying of what you two really are because.. fuck this all. Friends do not know the taste of each other, a simple platonic relationship doesn't give you a whole orchestra playing Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams like that one scene in Bridgerton.
No, friendship doesn't make you feel like you're in heaven but love does.
This was supposed to be a one time summer fling, when the leaves turn into the color of wine that you had been nursing late at night, a past time that you developed whenever you're troubled about what you're really going through with Jake; you shall leave it all behind.
You will, but for now, the necessity to bury yourself in Jake's iridescence is your utmost priority.
You pulled him in again for a kiss, this time with a plan.
"I don't think this will reach the bedroom." he murmurs, his hands all over your body as he tries to feel you more, palms finally back on your thighs to lift your dress up, revealing black laced panties that had him groaning and inevitably, harder down there.
You giggled, pecking his cheeks while you started to unbutton his denim shirt, tracing your fingers over his golden skin, "I don't mind, do whatever you want. Also, leave this on." you say, admiring his chiseled muscles under his top.
He curses under his breath, you really know how to rile him up. You know him too well, and he's down bad for that.
Jake has always been a good boy, and he doesn't need to be told twice. If you told him to do whatever, then he'll do just that. First, he plans to fuck you in that tiny little red dress.
His hand traveled to your panties, chuckling when he felt a wet spot in the middle, his middle and forefingers playing with it, "Damn baby, haven't done anything yet you're this wet?"
You whined at his teasing, moving your hips for more friction but Jake pulled away, causing you to protest which seemed to please him, given by his smug countenance. He clicked his tongue and raked in your appearance, in a complete disarray and he's glad that he can affect you this much.
"I need you to be patient, baby. Can you do it for me?" he mumbles, voice dropping a pitch lower and it makes you wetter because it's so damn hot, not like his predatory leering helps your condition. Although, as much as you wanted to test his leniency, you decided to listen to him this time around, sitting still and watching him do his thing. 
Your obedience greatly pleased the man, leaning down to give you a peck on your top lip, lightly nibbling on it before pulling away. 
His hands move on your arms for a second, moving up to your shoulders. His calloused palms, probably from doing sports and playing the violin, are clement against your smooth skin, goosebumps running along the path that was traced. 
Jake seems to be in a trance, hyper fixated on your body as he glides the straps down, guiding your arms so he could remove them through the straps, causing the upper portion of the dress to get loose in the process. 
The action reveals more of your supple chest for him to gawp and you let out a gasp when Jake buried his face on your cleavage, trailing smooches on your chest and when he can’t take it anymore, he straightens himself up and he completely removes the bodice of the dress. 
He takes the initiative to bring your bodies closer together, spreading your thighs wider and bunching the dress on your waist, until his hard on can be felt on your clothed womanhood. 
Jake then resumes his ministrations, hands going over your belly, outlining your rib cage and his fingers traces the shape of your breasts, the sensations are building up fast and the agitation is starting to get to you. You made that apparent when you wrapped your legs around his waist, pushing him closer to give him a silent signal of where you want him to touch you. 
He only chuckles, dipping his head near your jawline to trail kisses over it, reaching your ears and whispering sly statements, “We’ll get there, princess. Hold on tight and enjoy the ride, okay?” 
“But Jake..” you whined and he shuts you up with a filthy, open-mouthed kiss where his tongue dominates your mouth, he takes that as an opportunity to engulf your boobs into his large hands, tenderly kneading and squeezing, tracing your areola in the process to make you squirm. 
You moan into his mouth when his fingers rub your erect nipples slowly, increasing in speed and pressure as seconds go by. Your moans getting louder when he adds some twisting and pulling, pleasurable but not enough to cause pain. 
Jake can’t help the groan that escaped him due to your incessant grinding, directly stimulating both of your lower areas. Your damp panties have been clinging on your pussy, your juices soaking even his jeans, specifically the area of his raging boner. 
Jake disconnects from the liplock, observing your tousled appearance and despite his wobbly vision, he can confidently say that you’re insanely otherworldly. 
The vermillion tint on your cheeks, blown-out pupils and bruised lips. Truly, the epitome of the goddess of beauty, his one and only. 
“Jake?” you questioned, in a hazy stupor with your labored breathing, “What happened?” 
Jake shakes his head, leaning down to rub the tip of his nose on yours, giving you a butterfly in the stomach-inducing feelings, “Just that you’re gorgeous.” 
He chuckles when you squeaked at his compliment, removing his hands from your boobs in lieu of grabbing your ass, further pressing you on his hardness before leaning down on your chest, his warm breath hitting your mounds that had you shuddering. 
You clutched on his shoulders for support when he began sucking on your nipple and gyrating on your covered wetness. You felt him flatten his tongue on your boob, covering an ample surface, turning into the hardened edge of his wet appendage flicking the nub repeatedly. 
A brave lioness is what you are, primed for battles and victory yet you are nothing but a lady in desperate need of release in Jake’s presence and skillful tongue. 
Soon enough, when your clit has been prodded far too many times by the rough fabric of your undergarment and your erected buds have also reached their limit, your back arched in pleasure, your orgasm washing over you like waves. 
Jake continued his movements, ceasing only when you whine in overstimulation. 
“My baby did a good job.” Jake praises you, patting your head and smoothing the bird’s nest on top of it. A spent smile is painted on your face, slumping onto the tiled countertop to catch your breath, then your eyes almost bulge out of its sockets when you hear Jake say that you’re not done yet.
He merely raised an eyebrow, getting rid of his pants and personally manhandling you into a position of his liking but is also comfortable for you. He pushed your panties to the side, too impatient to remove it and lining the tip of his leaking cock in your entrance. 
“I still haven’t cum yet, princess.” he mutters, holding your thighs apart as he plunges into you, inch by inch, “You’ll help me, right?” 
You nod your head, hands going over to his chest and he immediately grapples it in his, groaning in pleasure when your gummy walls sucked him in, but he held the overwhelming urge to do it one go as he wanted to feel you in the most intimate way. 
“That’s my good girl.” he moans, bottoming out of you. He stays motionless for a few minutes, giving you adequate time to adjust. Then he started moving, freeing your hands to grip the sides of your hips, his pace was tamed at first but he went feral when you beseech him for more. 
His thrusts gradually escalate, fast-moving and solid, making you feel so full. Every drag of his member on your slick creates squelching sounds mixed with your mewls, it rings in your eardrums, and the result is you getting wetter. 
You’re basically lathering his counter and skin with your juices but Jake couldn’t care less, frowning in concentration as he does his best to pleasure both of you. 
“Don’t stop.” you mumble along with other incoherent sentences, his darkened eyes glimmered, ramming inside you with all his might, adjusting a bit so he’s able to hit your sweet spot, and when he finally hits it, his reward is your chants of his name. 
“Don’t worry, babe.” he grunts, tilting to match your face to grace you a saccharine kiss, his pace unrelenting and merciless, not wasting any minute as he bullies into your wetness without any care in the world, “I don’t plan on stopping.” he mumbles against your lips.
The knot in your belly gets tighter each time his cock grazes your g-spot and you purposefully clenched around him, causing him to unconsciously dig his nails into the flesh of your thighs. 
The euphoric feeling was too much for you to handle, closing your eyes and dumping your head on his shoulder. 
Jake’s gasps and low grunts are echoing in your head, slightly opening your eyes when you feel a rather pleasant yet burning sensation, realizing that he’s rubbing your clit. Adding onto the stockpiling gratification. 
You heard Jake curse, expressing how breath-taking and marvelous you are, in every aspect and facet. You tried peeking at him in spite of your incoming cloud nine, and in your drunken stupor of paradise, your enticement towards his sweaty neck invoked you to lean in and suck on his skin. 
Jake moans in delight, a specially harsh thrust was given to you in the process, taking you by surprise as it strikes the perfect site that had you tingling and creaming all over his member. 
You accidentally bite a bit too hard on his neck, marginally leaving teeth marks that’ll surely take at least a few days to heal. 
Jake’s hips stuttered, groaning rather gutturally at your dripping, warm cavern’s involuntary clenching, seizing his cock and as much as he wishes for the intercourse to carry on for a little longer, he has also reached his limit. 
He releases his seed inside, painting your walls white and warming your core. He keep his languid strokes to ride your highs, halting when the dopamine dies down.  
The smell of sex drifts in the kitchen. Sweaty, hot, satisfaction and fulfillment surrounds the place. Both of your strained breathing reiterates the events that have transpired. 
You made the first move, lifting your head from his shoulder and pushing his sweaty locks that got stuck on his forehead, smiling at him giddily, “That was amazing.” 
He wheezes at your pronouncement, “I know. You are amazing.” 
“Why is it always me?” you complain, not accepting his never ending praises towards you. Besides, it wasn’t you who’s doing all the work in your.. endeavors. 
“Because,” he engulfs your hand in his, kissing your knuckles and fingers one by one, “that’s what you are. Amazing.” 
You roll your eyes at his flattery, then the joy you’re feeling turns into sorrow when he pulls out of you, some of his cum oozing out of your hole. The emptiness nearly made you whine but you fight off the impulsive thoughts of doing so. 
After cleaning up and making sure that you’re presentable for other people to see, Jake offered to take you home and you accepted. Throughout the ride, you two are singing at the top of your lungs, ranging from love songs to rock songs, tittering when the other’s voice cracks. 
When you’re finally home, you are reluctant to separate with him, but he assured you that he’ll see you tomorrow. As he should because he is your date for the event. 
Bidding goodbyes was a herculean task, managing to do it when your parents themselves went out of the house due to their anxiety at the car parked in front of the house for 10 minutes. 
You steer away from your family’s curious questions, telling them that you are tired (the truth) and you crave some alone time to rejuvenate. 
 It is a very particular day, like you two have discovered something new that veered your social link to a blithe yet brooding one. The possible consequences of your poor decision-making was washed away by fatigue, thoughts of Jake and the excitement of tomorrow’s event lulling you to a dreamless yet deep sleep.
---------------------------------------------------
You watch the youngsters run and jump in thrill at the vibrant and bright atmosphere of the location for the town’s long awaited celebration, sighing through your nose but  still laughing at their energetic vibes. 
“Takoyaki!” Riki exclaims, nudging his friends and quite literally yowling at them when they disagree at his suggestion.
“I want some candied apples.” Jungwon points at a certain stall, Sunoo’s eyes following suit and the smile that he’s sporting is the biggest you have ever seen. (desserts do have that kind of effect, maybe that’s why they always have a room in the stomach.) 
“Really? So early in the evening and you want sweets?” the tallest among the guys deadpans, turning to you for help, “Knock some sense into these idiots.” 
You pinched the bridge of your nose, nonchalantly waving Riki off, “Put on your big boy pants and deal with it.” 
You ignore your brother’s bleating, facing Jake who is beside you the entire time and fretting over the fact that your mother and father left you to look after the boys to have their ‘alone time.’ 
“Jake?” you called for his attention when you noticed that he wasn’t responding to your hardcore yapping, only to find him immersed at you. 
“Jake? Is something wrong?” the thumping in your chest accelerates as he peers at you with dreamy eyes, permeating with fondness and yearning. You are not entirely sure on how to react, standing there like a statue until the man in front of you scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. 
“I’m sorry.” he laughs bashfully, “You are simply glowing, a rare jewel. I can’t stop admiring you.” he admits and the blush on your cheeks darkened. 
Your appearance is not something to be confident at, you look decent at best if you say so. 
You wore the red dress that Jake gifted you, paired with rubber shoes of the same hue. Your hair is styled in a dutch braid, decorating your strands with various pins and ribbons for the aesthetic, and finally, a natural make-up for added radiance. 
You literally see no reason for him to goggle at you, but then again, you can’t and don’t perceive yourself in Jake’s point of view. You’d be shocked if you learned how angelic you are in his world. 
In Jake’s standpoint, the tinge of cerise complements your sublime beauty like no other. It brings out the tincture of your eyes, the carmine of your cheeks, the cherry of your lips and it greatly enhances your flushed complexion. A mermaid you resembled because of your hair, relatively constructing an illusion of enchantment.
That is why he cannot fully fathom why you’re denying his words, simply because Jake is confident about it. He frankly believes that there is no other like you— unparalleled and stellar. 
“Be serious for once.” you say, thwacking his shoulders with a snigger.
Jake frowns, facing you and catching your hand in his, he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a shrilling voice, one that had you reeling in consternation and abhorrence. 
“Well, well, well. The power couple has revealed themselves.” 
Great, the night is young and it’s already ruined by none other than..
“Chaewon.” Jake utters her name with such revolt, shielding you from her as he protectively shifts you behind him, “What do you want?”
“You wound me.” she places a hand on her chest, faking a sad expression before she wheezes and narrows her overly eye-shadowed eyes in your direction, “Hello again, Y/N. Won’t you come and greet me as well?” 
Your whole body trembles when you hear her call your name in a sweet, sickening manner with an underlying condescending tone. It wreaks havoc in your supposed to be zen state, the rain in your glossy orbs threatens to fall any minute the more the interaction is prolonged. 
Jake senses your dilemma, and he knows that he has to do something, anything to not let this get out of control. He needs to wrap this up asap. 
“Chaewon!” Jake roared, seething and perturbed, “Get out of here while I’m asking nicely.” 
The girl hoots in laughter, obnoxiously even, holding onto her tummy, “You’re hilarious, Jake. Why are you acting like nothing happened between us?” 
Time seemed to come to a pause at her revelation. Surely, that wasn’t what she said, right? 
You must be mistaken because Jake? The boy that you trust the most, the only person who is aware of your trauma towards Chaewon’s wrongdoings.. something transpired between them? 
Your head that is hanging low amidst the whole ordeal tilts to spare the girl a glance, which you shouldn’t have because you have now witnessed the most gut-wrenching sight: Chaewon wearing the white dress that was supposed to be yours. 
She peeks and notices your gaze on her, whirling around to show-off with a haughty smirk, “Pretty isn’t it? I’m really happy that Jake gave this to me.” 
“Jake gave that to you?” you whisper, and like a bat with supersonic hearing, she makes-out what you just said without any problem.
“Yeah!” Chaewon giggles, and she dropped the bomb that exploded all over your conviction and solidarity, “I mean.. From all the nights me and Jake have spent in his bed, I think it’s only natural for him to give me some gifts.” 
Your eyes widened in anguish, meeting Jake’s with resentment. You don’t even need to explain yourself, your betrayed expression articulates all the emotions that are fermenting in your being, spoiling the gaiety and leaving a bad taste in your mouth. 
You bitterly tugged your hand, grimly retiring in this shithole wordlessly. Jake’s pleas were blocked out as the ringing in your ears is too noisy, currently focusing on how excruciating it is to wear your rose tinted glasses.
Seeing in a bird's eye view, the earthquake of indulging in your desires, the red flags; rejecting the clues and signals in place of shooting stars and red roses.
There is nothing wrong with harboring intense, burning feelings for someone. There is nothing wrong about it except…
You choked back a sob as you stood still in the middle of some empty street, covering your mouth with your palm while you used your free arm to hug yourself, a coping mechanism to the either the cold breeze or the icy realization of your own breach of trust.
To the person that you are tied to. The lover whose heart is reserved for you but here you are, cracking his entirety unbeknownst to him. 
Truth to be told, you are apprehensive about the entirety of your solstitial days. You are no doubt in the utopia of cloudy marshmallows and lustrous sequins, such vista is brought to you by your paramore, Jake. 
Your affairs are not accepted by society, deemed illegal by the law and an unforgivable misdeed by the gods. Yet you couldn’t, for the hell of it, deny the fact that you are over the moon, spending time with your revived ardor that you thought had passed away. 
Reflecting on your decisions brings you on a disparaging trip to guilt land, your sins are not reasonable, will never be decipherable but love has always been like that, isn’t it?
Working in mysterious ways, playing with fate and destiny, using cupid as its puppet and people’s heartstrings as marionettes until it cooks up its desired results. 
But must it be so ferocious? 
You are having a meltdown, drowning in these poisonous thoughts when a distant voice clears your smoggy psyche. 
“Y/N!”
---------------------------------------------------
Jake fumbled. He fucked up. So bad. 
He was motionless for a minute, wide eyed and panicking as the noise around the ongoing celebration helped him block the cringe-y voice of the girl, whose presence if he must say, is irking as hell. 
He watches as your lovely figure walks further away, getting smaller the more distance you put between you, and it’s nauseating. The agony was fucking too much, not foreseeing the events.
He was meant to be with you the entire night. Eating delicious foods from the stalls, winning you a giant teddy bear, watching the grand fireworks whilst he kisses you under the radiance of the natural and artificial stars. 
And whose fault is this? 
Jake turns to the culprit, her innocent facade pissing him off to no end.
“What the fuck, Chaewon? Have you finally lost your marbles? Didn’t I tell you to leave me the fuck alone?!” he yells, his emotional intelligence gone because the mere thought of losing you is not worth the effort of suppressing his anger. 
“What?” she asks, crossing her arms in disdain, “I only came here to say hi and to show the dress.” 
The scene appears to catch the attention of the bystanders around them, and multiple pairs of eyes scrutinize the pair, which is not good for the sake of it all. 
Jake inhales, praying to anyone out there to give him the patience that he’s currently lacking, “How many times do I have to say that I’m not interested in you? We fucked once and I was drunk! That’s the end of the story!” 
“So fucking around with Y/N is better? Have you forgotten that she has a boyfriend? You really want to spend your precious summer with a whore?” she rebuts, and what she labeled you was the last straw. 
He ruthlessly gripped her arms, no caution nor forgiving, “Listen here, you do not call Y/N a whore ever again. She is so much better than you and,” Jake scoffs, eyeing her with disdain, “you do not even come close to her level. So, I would really fucking appreciate it if you zip your shitty mouth, or else I will make your life a living hell.” 
Jake lets her go, clenching his fists and hiding it inside his pockets, glaring at the teary-eyed woman but he certainly does not fucking care. She can bawl her eyes out and spread gossip about him, but he won’t let any disrespect towards you pass. 
He turns around, quickly changing plans as he thinks of ways on how to make things up with you, but before that, he took a shot of belittling the girl, “Now that I see it, that dress is ugly as hell. You can keep that, it's only beautiful if Y/N wears it.” 
Jake then runs off, in a mission to find you. 
---------------------------------------------------
“Y/N!”
It took you a minute to process what’s happening. One moment you are alone and the next second you’re engulfed in a warm hug. Must be a divine intervention or something, your knight in shining armor coming in at the right time to save you from the sorrows of your own faults. 
You pushed him away rather forcefully, vigorously wiping the remnants of your tears away but Jake has seen it either way. 
He cups your face, mellowly speaking, “Please don’t cry, baby-”
“Stop!” you cried out, placing your hands on his chest to put a tiny gap in the middle, a feeble attempt at refusing his support, “Stop calling me that if you don’t mean it. I-I.. Please, I want to be alone.”
You’re beginning to go into hysterics, sobbing uncontrollably now that you have been slapped by reality. 
“I don’t want you to be alone, and,” Jake steeled himself, not accepting your rejection, “I mean it. You are my baby so please Y/N, let’s talk this out.” 
You shake your head, struggling against his firm hold. The complexity of the whole situation embroiders dark threads in your snowy fabric, commencing the madness in you, and you’re so damn afraid if you’ll be able to surpass this test. 
“Jake, I don’t want to- Please, stop, I can't do this anymore.”
You are too busy wallowing in despair that you failed to notice Jake’s terror stricken guise. All of his brain cells are working overtime to think of something, anything to dissuade your incoming rash verdict about your.. circumstances with him.  
Jake slides his palms onto your shoulders, lowering his forehead down the crook of your neck, shutting his eyes and relaxing for a second. 
It’s now or never.
“You can’t do this anymore while I've been here, doing it ever since.” he mumbles, decibels reaching your ears and it makes you confused.
You stay rooted in your spot, listening to his shallow breaths, “Doing what?” 
“This Y/N.” he lifts his head up, meeting your weeping orbs as his lower lips tremble, wavering and hopeless mien, “I did not pursue Australia for the sole reason of staying here, because I thought that you’d continue college in this town.” 
Wait. You are the reason?
“I wanted to be with you, then I learned that you applied to a university in the city and I was too late. I wasn’t able to go with you because I hesitated. And that was the biggest mistake that I will forever regret.”
Jake didn’t give you the time to butt in, he prattled on and on, explaining and disclosing every bit of information that you have to know.
Chaewon and him did have a history, but he was drunk and was in need of some sort of intimacy because all he did was miss you while you were gone. Yes, shitty excuse but that was the truth. He apologizes hundreds of times for that, verbalizing that he avoids her like the plague after their one time encounter, and that she’s the one who kept on persisting in a relationship with him. 
He doesn’t want to do shit with her and he is willing to spend a lifetime making it up to you if it means that you’ll forgive him. 
You mutter his name in hopes of cutting his reverie to tell him that it’s okay. That he doesn’t need to be unfair to himself and that you also have made an awful blunder yourself. So, you tried again but then he blurted out the words that rewired your verdict.
“Y/N, I love you. I am so fucking in love with you. You inhabit my day, possess my nights and I-”
You finally placed your lips on his, shutting him up for good. You can’t contain your selfishness anymore, and you’re going to hell for it.
“Jake, I understand.” you whisper against his lips, “No more talking. Just kiss me.” 
And he did. A passion filled kiss in the dimly lit middle of the road, and soon enough the two of you are giggling out of your wits, running towards his flat to savor each other beneath the raving moon and stars. 
Ablaze sheets and shushed confessions of affection, lustful chants of pet and nicknames, hot and ponderous breathing. Lips molding, tongues dancing, limbs intertwining — love was made multiple times that night. 
Jake felt his turbulent ambitions being nurtured into a calm sea. 
When he holds your sweaty body close to his after the last of the many rounds of ardent copulation, he pecks the crown of your head, thinking that he’s got you. 
Imagine the bewilderment and fretfulness that he undergoes when the next morning, he wakes up and you’re not by his side. The slot beside him is where you’re meant to be. 
So, why are you not here?
He is like a thundercloud, fixing himself up and taking a dangerous, speedy trip towards your house only to gain the certitude that you have left. 
“Yeah, she came back home during dawn, grabbing her suitcases and catching the earliest train back to the city. She didn’t say anything to us, just that she needs to go back as soon as possible.” Riki clarifies groggily, your brother rubbing his eyes sleepily, overlooking Jake’s fall from grace. 
He thanks the younger and when the door is shut, he’s out. 
He was in a sinking boat the whole fucking time, his white knuckle grip on the handles was useless as he’s the only one dying with it. 
You, his gospel, are once more absent to guide him, and he is left alone to fend for himself. 
Jake enters his car in a daze before laughing to himself, beyond miserable and breaking down. You can’t even be bothered to give him an acrid goodbye. Was he not worth the time? Was he not worth it? 
He slams his hands on the steering wheel, his eyes going over the hidden compartment where the bracelet with your initials sits. Looks like he won’t be able to give you that, no?
“What do we do now, Sim Jaeyun?” 
---------------------------------------------------
Your sudden disappearance deeply troubled Jake. His gut tells him not to contact you first, listening to his intuitions and twiddled on his thumbs. 
He waited for a call, message, anything to let him know that you have not abandoned him, but not once did he receive one. A complete dissonance and in a flash, the pigments in his face that you have sprayed were drained. 
He prayed for a sign to the deities because he’s tired of waiting, ‘Give me a reason to stop chasing after her.’
And what he asks, he gets. 
One day, when he was rolling around in his bed, stalking your social media, he saw that you updated on instagram. He immediately opened the app, but he was crushed like an insect at what he saw.
It was a photo of you and your boyfriend. Seems like your ‘ice skating prince’ won a tournament, no trophies at hand since his prize is already in his arms— you. 
Jake lies down on his back, his arms covering his eyes and he lets the salty tears that he’s been keeping at bay for the longest time freely stream down. He granted himself the license to cry this time, to have a moment of weakness as he grieves at the newly formed memorabilia of adulation and picturesque remembrance.
You should have at least given him some sort of magnanimity, a heads-up perhaps? 
Yes, it was necessary so he could’ve commenced the digging of the graves. One for his dying gray heart and one for his wilted, parched crimson roses. 
Jake is no stranger of the naked truth, that he was the other guy in the portrait. The snake and not the proprietor but even for a trifling moment, despite the bleak and slim chances, he believed that the silver lining exists. 
He was so sure that the inkling sentiments, skinship, companionship throughout the summer would mean something to you.. If not, then why would you be so cruel to give it to him? Why would you be so heartless to let him think that he could win against someone that is unrivaled when it comes to a space in your heart and life? 
He spilled his booked sentiments, you let him savor you, allowed him to follow you to the depths of nowhere only to pull back at the last minute, leaving him stranded at the end of the cliff. 
So he did what must be done. He jumped in the deep, dark ocean of precariousness. Hoping that at the end of his expedition, a treasure would be waiting for him. 
Jake did find fortune alright; rusted, grotesque, and counterfeit. 
He was a deep-dyed, utter fool. Pathetic at its finest for falling for a person he could never, ever have. 
Indeed, a complete defeat. What was the name of the victor again? Ah, right.
Park Sunghoon. 
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taglist:
@deobitifull @dreamiestay @shiningnono @anormieee
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dark-and-kawaii · 2 months ago
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Imagine being pregnant and feeling insecure about being somewhat slower and bigger as the pregnancy progresses, and Zevlor not picking up on that bc sweet man is too busy being infatuated with and fawning over his pregnant SO also drooling over their body, *cough* insert breeding kink, *cough*.❤
Once again I cannot get enough of your husband zev content, thank you for the addiction🥰
Awhhh thank you!!! I really appreciate that!! I love husband Zevlor with all my heart ♡ ♡ ♡ My absolute comfort. Super happy to hear you can’t get enough of it as well ♡
⋆。˚୨୧˚。⋆ Content: NSFW - Pregnancy - Praising - Headcanons - Loving Tender Moments - Best Husband - Lactation
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⋆୨ৎ₊˚⊹♡ Zevlor is just so head over heels in love with you and that growing belly of yours. It’s so hard for him to keep his hands to himself, like seriously, he’s always stroking that swollen bump of yours- always dropping to his knees so that he may lift your shirt and pepper kisses to your skin. The man is always whispering about how beautiful you look like this, waddling around, filled with his child.
⋆୨ৎ₊˚⊹♡ He loves how you can barely bend over, so he has to do everything for you. And he really does, he takes such good care of you.
⋆୨ৎ₊˚⊹♡ When the two of you are snuggled up in bed, his nose brushes against your neck as he breathes in your scent, murmuring praises about how you smell so sweet, so delicious, and how you are the best thing he has ever had the pleasure of tasting. As his lips trail against your skin he continues with his praises, telling you how soft your body is, telling you how lucky he is to have you and to see you like this- how you’ll make such a wonderful mother.
⋆୨ৎ₊˚⊹♡ His tail will rest on the curve of your belly and rub slow circles into it while he gently presses his cock against your ass, “You’re carrying our child so well, so full and ripe with my offspring… I- forgive me, but I love seeing you like this, all swollen and heavy with my child…” He wishes he could start the whole process over again right now...
⋆୨ৎ₊˚⊹♡ The way your breasts leak milk when you get aroused- Zevlor absolutely loves the taste. He is constantly suckling on them while you straddle his lap. At times he gets drunk on your taste, his fiendish bloodline kicking in trying to draw more of that delicious milk from your tits until you’re a whimpering mess.
⋆୨ৎ₊˚⊹♡ Eventually he starts to notice how you try and hide from him, try and keep your shirt down and how you blow out each candle when you two are about to have sex… Things reached a tipping point when Zevlor catches you wandering around in one of his shirts. It barely covered you, offering a glimpse when you reached for something on a high shelf… it wasn’t your ass that caught his eyes, but how it lifted just enough to show a hint of your stomach… And then he saw how you grabbed the shirt and held it down to cover yourself…
⋆୨ৎ₊˚⊹♡ Quietly, he made his way over to you and grabbed your wrist, turning you to face him. He was quick to pull your shirt up and expose you to him, his eyes glued to the swell of your stomach. He took a step back, a smirk crossing his face, as he looked you over, “Why so shy, dear? There is no need for you to hide, not from me at least. Not ever.” He rests his head on your shoulder and whispers into your ear, his hand cupping your belly, gently rubbing, massaging, and feeling, “I want to see all of you, and I mean all of you. This little one growing inside of you… they are a part of us, a part of me and a part of you. Allow me to see how much they have grown and are still growing. Grant me the honor of drinking in your glowing beauty.”
⋆୨ৎ₊˚⊹♡ If there’s one man who will rid you of your insecurities, it will be Zevlor. The man worships the ground you walk on and loves every inch of your body. There is not a single thing he doesn't like. Your stretch marks, he loves to kiss them and tell you how beautiful they are, and will even try to make a joke about how you and him have matching ones now- a sign that the two of you were meant to be.
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busket · 4 months ago
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gravity falls rant, cw sexual assault and harassment
seeing the gf fandom do a full 180 on billford is so odd to see and kind of infuriating because I had so many nasty rumors and lies spread about me in 2015-2018 because I liked them as bitter exes. a callout google doc was made and I never read it, but I know it framed me as a creep and an abuser. all because I thought a cartoon nerd and a triangle had a fascinating dynamic that was dark and compelling
in 2017 or 2018 someone sent like 70 messages to my curiouscat just repeating RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST over and over again. I'd never even had sex at that point, and I had just cut my dad out of my life for actually being a pedophile and a rapist. so that was traumatizing! that really hurt me!
I also know it was because I had a NSFW account where i drew porn (i was an adult, i was clear i only wanted adults following me. and I still do draw nsfw, I'm not ashamed of that now but these folks made me ashamed of it for years) that included some porn of trans men, like Stanley or Stanford as trans men (NEVER together bc I've always been staunchly against incest or pedophilia ships) and these people framed me as a transphobe and a transmasc fetishist
well obviously I'm a trans man now and I didn't know it at the time but those drawings were a way to explore my own relationship with gender. I even look like Stan and Ford now, obviously i latched on to them as trans men because I wanted to BE them. but I believed it when people called me a piece of shit, I assumed all trans people would despise me too and I'd committed a horrible sin and it forced me back in the closet for another 5 years.
the people doing this were teenagers at the time, a few I thought were my friends/mutuals, and they made that part of my life kinda miserable. I was already miserable with other shit going on in my life. I ignored most of the harassment to make myself uninteresting and to avoid the possibility of becoming a lolcow but it involved anonymous messages both on tumblr and curiouscat, I even got a few emails just mocking me. even in 2019 when some people were like "oh yeah she's moved on to moomin, this is what her art looks like now, I can't look at it without thinking about how much she loves rape :/" which was NEVER true!!! I liked Ford and Bill as bitter exes but it was always consensual in my mind.
Anyway I don't ever expect or even want an apology. I'm sure they don't realize what an effect that harassment had on me during literally the darkest years of my life. to them they were just teasing a weird girl on the internet for fun, or very seriously warning their friends against whom they'd been lied to about being an abuser, but I was a closeted trans man trying to finish college, my home life was abysmal and abusive, I hated myself, i hated my body, my only friends were online, and when I'd log on for some escapism I was met with another message like "hey, you should block this person. they're saying some really cruel things about you on their account. I know it's not true but it looks like some people are believing it."
gravity falls was so important to me as a show since oregon is my home and it felt so authentic to my own childhood being interested in cryptids and going camping and visiting shit like the Oregon vortex as a child. but the fandom was the worst I've ever been in. it ruined my enjoyment of media online for years. so idk. I guess I feel somewhat vindicated but it would also be nice to get those years back and not be harassed and bullied online about something so stupid and unimportant
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artofalassa · 3 months ago
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Huge thank you
Hey! The time has come for another one of my emotional posts in which I declare my undying love to you guys who still read my comics! It means the world! ❤️
And I adore every single tag, comment and word that arrives my way!
I can imagine keeping up with a comic this long with breaks in between parts this long must be very exhausting!
Believe me you, it's very exhausting to draw it too, but I adore every single minute of it (i don't, but I adore 90% of them for real) and I'm delighted you guys like it so much!
It seriously means the world!
The length of it also gives me a lot of space to question myself. Is this even good? Does this still make sense? Is it even worth finishing?
Then I go back and reread the comments, tags on earlier parts, comments I never replied to, bc I either didn't notice them, or didn't realize I can actually reply here on tumblr now. And... yeah. It helps a lot.
So every time a comment that means some of the parts made you feel something drops into my notifs/activity, I just. Beam.
Thank you so much!! You guys make my days! ❤️
I also wanted to thank all the people approaching me over at DoKomi just to talk to me about my art!
It still feels otherworldly and I am so sorry, If I seemed off or cranky. I was feeling a bit sick at the time and above all, I was absolutely overwhelmed. In the best way, but I did NOT expect any of it. Usually, whenever I say it at my own table in my country that I draw comics, people are like ??? You do?? For real?? So I'm pretty used to folks not knowing.
And suddenly, there were you guys, spotting me in a crowd. A visitor in a costume. Not an artist at a table. And told me you love what I do.
I'm still having a hard time processing that. Almost three months later. But it keeps me giddy whenever I think about it.
Thank you so much! ❤️
Maybe it's just fall finally arriving making me blabber like this, huh...
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micahulrichdraws · 3 months ago
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I don't think self-deprecation or concern for the person's well-being is ever going to come across well to someone saying they like what you do. Maybe I'm missing something, but there are reasons to like your art besides being miserable. Even if only the truly miserable liked your work, responding to them by pointing out how miserable they must be wouldn't feel great for them. Your art isn't giving them depression, and it's not like you're contributing to net suffering by making art with ~themes~, so it seems unnecessary to bring up. You suggested that if you struggle to enjoy life, and you make something, anyone who resonates will also struggle to enjoy life. I disagree. Some people will like it for completely shallow reasons. Some people have empathy for others' suffering. You can have a decent life and no mental illness and probably still appreciate a well-drawn skeleton. I don't know what kind of art a perfect world would produce, but any world where people are mortal is going to have sadness, and some art will reflect that. Yours isn't uniquely dark.
Sorry if you've gotten 100 asks saying this same thing. I wasn't sure based on the ones you responded to, and I just found your blog. I know it's sort of a joke, bc you do still sell art prints and stuff, so you clearly are okay with people liking your art. Tbh, I /had/ depression for a few years, so I'm not exactly proof against the theory that your art somolehow only appeals to depressed people. It seems unlikely, though. And the way you talk about your art as "garbage" kind of gave me flashbacks to the sort of self-deprecating humor I'd use when I hated myself. I don't know you or how you're doing, but that feeling made me want to say something.
You didn't just miss something, you missed like, everything I've ever said on my blog about like, everything to the point I'm not even sure this was intended for me? Like I'd break it down, point by point and be like 'no what are you smoking' but that'd be a waste of time after the 'why do you think my art gives people depression!?' part of whatever this is. Like, this is offensive levels of trying to make me be someone I'm not for the sake of a hypothetical argument against a strawman. So if, you want to take offense to who I am in case you misclick and end up here again here's an asshole enough of a response to give you a legitimate reason to find me intolerable:
Welcome to my page! I make art, jokes, and bullshit with folks to make people happy. I started doing this when I was big sad, because cheering people up cheers me up. Now, here's the crazy part: some people are very sad, and sometimes they tell me it makes them a small amount of happy, which gives me dopamine and makes me do it again. The word 'some' means 'not everyone', or even 'a fraction of a percentage'. For example, in this case, it means 'most people just like my drawings but some people get an extra lil bit out of it'. I don't take myself seriously because I know that the art world is insanely intimidating to those outside of it, and sometimes artists tend to be egotistical and condescending, a word that means 'having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority'. Naturally, I do everything in my power to avoid that, because I'm a very 'gates open' kinda person.
So, here's the WILD part: in my perfect world I would've never had depression. Now, I know, that would have been inconvenient for you as someone who passed by my page one time, and I do apologize. I also apologize that I don't make 'dark art', because I like frogs and mice doing cool shit. Finally, I apologize for my art having -~*themes and concepts*~-, I know good art only comes from ChatGPT and that was my bad.
Sike, I didn't apologize, my fingers were crossed behind my back when I said that. Fuck you for thinking me not wanting to be around for a decade is 'worth' because I drew a mediocre skeleton, and because somehow sadness is necessary. That line of thinking is so awful, here's a video explaining it:
youtube
PS: the reason my friends and I in these parts call my art 'art garbage' is because that's what my professors called it back in school for like 4 years, back when I started this shitshow. Much love.
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burningvelvet · 6 months ago
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I finished Moby Dick. So, to continue my former post(s) documenting my thoughts, here we are (spoilers ahead):
captain ahab: i am once again asking hast thou seen the white whale
Narrator, for the 5 millionth time describing captain ahab: "MONOMANIACAL. MONOMANIAC. MONOMANIA."
I was thinking "the homosexual themes everyone talks about are really exaggerated apparently…" and then I got to the chapter about sperm squeezing
Stubb meeting with the French in chap 91 had the exact vibe of a filler episode on a comedy sitcom
there are a lot of moments that reminded me of The Office ngl like i could just imagine stubb in the little interview chair just talking. so much meme material. he's seriously just doing his own thing. the little random characters like the blacksmith and carpenter just talking shit and side-eyeing ahab in the background lmaoooo
Saint George didn't kill a dragon, it was a whale #THETRUTHREVEALED #WHALETRUTHERS
It would have been hilarious if the British people told Ahab that they already killed Moby Dick already before he could get to it. I was so hoping that would happen. Bonus points if it was the Rachel after he'd turned them away.
Ahab discusses the topic of madness a lot. It's almost like he's… mad...
I vote Ahab for the most Byronic hero to ever Byronic… Heathcliff and Rochester have nothing on him… The origin of the Byronic hero, Byron's titular character from the narrative poem Childe Harold, is literally mentioned by name in the novel and had to be a blatant inspiration - it could not be more obvious! (I have yet to encounter the famed Byronic heroes of Russian literature, most notably Eugene Onegin, a work where Byron is also blatantly name-dropped).
Everyone thinking Queequeg was dying and having a coffin made to his measurements and filled with grave goods at his direction and then him literally climbing into the coffin to test it out and then waiting silently to die…. then all of a sudden getting better and saying he chose to recover bc he remembered he had something on his to-do list….. iconic
Ishmael referring to Queequeg as "my Queequeg…" omg. Queerqueg
Queequeg drawing figures like the ones on his tattoos omg… au story where Queequeg is an artist/tattoo artist when???
I was literally saying "AWWWWW" out loud when Ahab and Pip were having their little moments
The irony of Ahab abandoning the Rachel then it coming back for Ishmael… the coffin lifeboat… etc… good stuff…
okay ahab is my man but yeah he was an asshole to the captain of rachel.
also feel bad for tashtego. he wanted that gold doubloon so bad and ahab was like SIKE, MOTHERFUCKER! umm tashtego did not get cut out of a whale by queequeg to deal with ur shit ahab!
Once again wanting a Black Sails/Moby Dick AU… I found this essay about the similarities between Flint/Ahab https://ijms.nmdl.org/article/view/22389/14361
They only have like 2-3 little moments together but like… Starbuck/Ahab kind of outdoing Ishmael/Queequeg there for a moment… chaps 132/134… oh my godddddddddddddd whyyyyyyy
Captain Ahab's moments in chapters 36/37 AAAAAHHHHH you will see me being normal about this
I noted some of my favorite Ahab moments/chapters and they are 36/37/41/70/99/108/109/113/115/116/119/125/129/132/134/135. Like I may seriously just re-read those chapters (no offense to Melville's whale facts, Stubb's jokes, & Pip's insanity)
the end is kind of similar to the great gatsby in the sense that you finally realize the entire novel was actually written for him to cope with his grief-related trauma & then suddenly it all makes sense. the lingering, the sentimentality regarding seemingly insignificant details or people, the meandering/digressing/procrastinating getting to the end, etc.
there are actually several moments -- i don't know if he actually referred to ahab or the others in past-tense specifically, but there were several moments where i felt like i kind of thought he was giving away the end before he did (it wasn't a shock to me bc i read about the end prior, but still)
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slowcatsisland · 6 days ago
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I love your Post about Laws ideal type. 💯😍Do you see him more with a boy or girl?
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A/N: omg I love this question sm bc regardless of what points I say it’s ambiguous and up to the audience’s interpretation and ultimately Oda’s however I seriously doubt Law would have a significant other in the canon timeline. Ty Ty for asking I had a ton of fun writing this out!
- I’m not religious and haven’t read the Bible so don’t attack me if I say smth improper about any of the sects of Christianity bc I’m using my preconceived and second hand knowledge abt it. if u think of smth pls comment and share ur thoughts w me I would love to be educated by another further respectfully ^^
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Trafalgar D. Water Law; Boy or Girl SO Preference?
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If you look at Flevance, they resemble a typical small Christian community, even if it isn’t explicitly stated. There were religious crosses, nuns, churches. There was most definitely a theme in Flevance’s religion about hope and the good in others, as the nun that Law sees says smth like, “There’s always a hand to help you.”
Flevance also had a high status of wealth (the whole diamond scheme) and the average cost of living/luxury of the average person was reasonably high. There vastly majority of the couple in Flevance were also probably traditionally monogamous, with one man and one woman.
I think if Law had grown up in Flevance his romantic interests would solely be focused on a female partner bc that would be the socially acceptable way and he wouldn’t view males in the perspective of a potential suitor. (Idk if this is recent interpretations of the Bible or not but it’s realistic to say that there would be stigmatism surrounding same sex couples in Flevance as most traditional believers of Christianity view same sex romantic relationships as ‘wrong ish’. At least where I live..)
However, the destruction of Flevance brought change to Law’s character and perception of love. Because of this and his loss of faith from this experience, I think adult pirate Law would be more willing to engage in a same sex relationship. (Would actually be a good writing moment made by Oda if it did happen imo but I digress)
I don’t ship LawLu, but I think Luffy is a real example of the type of person that could help Law heal and has aspects of what Law would need in a relationship. LawLu is good on a companionship/spiritual level imo but sexually/potentially romantically I do not see it at all being reciprocated by either Law or Luffy.
Just the fact someone like Luffy exists that had met Law is a good argument for Law being with a male, just not Luffy specifically.
Law’s significant other to me represents stability, safety, and humanity. This can manifest in people differently though so I don’t see him looking for something based on physicality.
Because of that I don’t see Law in canon having a preference between boy or girl for a partner. Perhaps a leaning towards female because that’s the traditional way of his hometown and in the One Piece world it seems like.
He’d need someone emotionally before he’d need them sexually imo, so if he found someone that worked for him and he was ready, that’s it no matter the gender.
Sexually he would probably be more attracted to females, and a lot of times sexual tension is mistaken for romantic tension but I don’t see Law acting upon either.
Hate to leave this discussion without giving u a definite answer anon but I just don’t think there is a definite answer yk.
My personal preference tho is him with a female because I see him falling for someone with a strong maternal presence. Yk little instincts and gestures they do towards him and the crew that sometimes make them sigh ‘okay mom’ while drawing out the ‘o’ in mom. Someone that reminds him of the feeling of safety and peace he felt as a kid in Flevance where his body wasn’t so tense all the time.
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Hope u liked reading this and it helped u form ur own opinion on who you prefer Law with !
Mwah 😽
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audsthoughts · 9 months ago
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I get it, live actions aren’t for everybody and that’s totally fine. Not everyone’s gonna like it. But to shit on the stupidest things, or draw the dumbest conclusions??? Blocked. Y’all look dense as fuck. Views will be mixed as they always are, quit clogging up the tags with your negativity and find some chill 😂 The originals are still there to watch or read and enjoy…so go do that…it’s literally on the same app 👏🏻 I’m trying to be understanding I am, but some of y’all are so damn hung up you’re letting it completely destroy something you’d otherwise enjoy
Anyways!! Here’s some of the stuff I loved from the atla live action!
•cinematography, soundtrack, costumes - all on point
•getting to see the airbenders flourishing!!! Also the dude who played Gyatso?! Didn’t think I could love him more!! Even though it was painful as FUCKKKK getting to see the first invasion of the fire benders was an epic masterpiece
•speaking of, the first scene?? With the earthbender soldiers in the fire nation?? Iconic
•Omashu: unpop opinion I’m sure (bc y’all hate change but simultaneously hate when it’s carbon copy????????🤦🏼‍♀️) I loved how they incorporated like 3 or 4 episodes into one, and they flowed really well together. Jet is FOINEEE. Mechanist was perfect & his son is a freaking badass, amazing casting! Even though it was change, the secret tunnel scenes were still really freaking cool and the badgermoles were SICK AS FUCK. Also I love that Bumi was still cooky but not just randomly cooky? Like mans was run down from being king basically the entire war…which FAIR. And it made sense that he was peeved with Aang BECAUSE they were such good friends. Like the other avatars being mad at him? Yea that’s whatever. But for Bumi it was kinda personal. Also CABBAGE MAN WE MISSED YOU 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Oh! And the way they mentioned other episodes like they were lore when Zuko was trying to find Aang? That was an amazing way to tie back to the OG series
•I love how they incorporated the blue spirit, Koh, the fog of lost souls & parts of the ep where sokka and Katara got sick & Aang had to get them frogs - just reimagined it. Oh also Hei Bai! Yea, I loved that whole episode. Koh & Hei Bai were SCARY as fuck, it was awesome!!
•HAHN MY BELOVED…I ADORE YOU! Favorite character that they added/changed. Katara getting the other women involved in the battle?! Tui & La? The oasis?! 😭😭 stunning!!!! I also LOVEDDDDD Aangs avatar spirit that he turned into, literally perfect! And I loved the change that he gave himself over to the spirits wrath..fucking SICK. Also right before aang turned into the spirit/whatever that’s called, I was praying they’d do the line and thEY DIDDDD!!!
•Fire lord Ozai?? 😳😚 nothing needed to be said - perfection
•Kyoshi?! The Kyoshi warriors?! SUKI?! - speechless
•I like that they’re making more of a point to show how smart Sokka is! Mechanist calling him an engineer…I hope they play more into that! Ik they did a bit in the show with the subs (cartoon), but still
•”~hE rAn~” seriously my favorite line, I was DYINGGGG!!! The scenes with Zuko and Iroh, Zuko before the war meeting, the leaves from the vine being in the background at the funeral….ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?! Zuko’s crew being the crew he SAVED?! And when they find out they all do the fire nation bows to their prINCE?! 😭😭😭😭
I’m being fair y’all - things I don’t love/hope they change:
•this one I’m 50/50 on - I don’t love that they tried to give Kuruk a reason for disappearing. They tried to pull shit from Korra to make him look meaningful & not useless as an avatar and it didn’t hit for me
•some of the wigs: obviously we won’t see Yue again, but I wanted her hair to be white. I didn’t love the wig but it wouldn’t have been as bad for me if it wasn’t so grey. Also do NOT love Azula, Tylee or Mai’s hair. Ik they look just like the show but whether that’s wigs or their actual hair (I’m clueless) it needs some serious improvement. Azula’s looks great down, I just don’t like how big the side pieces are that frame her face when it’s up.
•Katara, my love, I am PRAYING part of your development is also going to be her becoming more outspoken and badass, bc this season we saw the tiniest of glimpses of it, not a fan (unless it’s a part of her development…she did grow up in a tiny ass tribe so I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt)
• IK they’re going with a much more serious Aang, but pleaseeeee give us some actual moments of him being a kid. We saw that like twice 😭
•Dante is the PERFECT ZUKO, I will hear NO slander. However, I need him to be more of a dick. I’m hoping we’ll get that when he gets super desolate when they’re on the run & then we have Zuko alone & he has his inner battle. I need snarky dickhead Zuko, so you can truly see the big differences between what he’s fighting (himself vs. who his dad wants him to be)
Have fun kids!
In case I haven’t made it clear, idgaf if you disagree. I go so hard for these live actions because it’s fun! It’s just supposed to be fun and different and new. If you get so serious about it you’re ALWAYS going to be disappointed, there’s no way around it bc nothing is ever going to be as good as the original book, the original show, the original tale. OG atla is ALWAYS gonna be the winner, nothing will compare! So sit back ~relax~ and find some joy in the little things
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ace-of-zaun · 9 months ago
Text
The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time: Pt. 8
Silco x f!reader - 7.6k words - SFW
cw:  fluff, angst, anxiety/dread, injury, medical anxiety, health and illness, taking care of people, talk about self-defence and physical assault, get your seatbelts on lads we’ve got another emotional rollercoaster chapter, but with a fluffy ending bc it’s me
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7
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If someone had told kitchen-utensil-salesperson you that one day you’d be having to bribe the Eye of Zaun’s daughter, to keep her quiet about your relationship with said kingpin, you’d have laughed in their faces and told them to get lost.
But alas, here you were.
You’d had a long chat with Jinx about why you weren’t telling people and why she couldn’t tell anyone either. And after surprisingly little convincing from the two of you, Jinx had agreed to keep your secret… for a price. Sweets once a week for every week she kept it a secret. 
Dear Janna, was this girl Silco’s daughter.
She’d also sweetened the deal by throwing in a few extra game nights every month, so that’s how you find yourself sitting at Silco’s desk, Jinx on your lap in the chair opposite his, as you play yet another round of Gun Bun.
Silco is, rather annoyingly, picking incredibly obnoxious words on purpose when it’s his turn, (seriously, how many nine-year-olds know the word egregious?) so you decide that this is the perfect opportunity to mess with him.
At first, you simply decide to spell all of your words wrong, irritating him just a little bit more with every line drawn as he fails to guess the correct letters.
Once he cottons on to that, correcting your spelling like a disappointed teacher, you move onto the next level…
You start making words up.
Jinx giggles and squirms about in your lap when you whisper your nefarious plan to her, earning a narrowed look of suspicion from your criminal(ly gorgeous) boyfriend.
Unfortunately, this tactic only works for one round, because when you finally complete the drawing of Mr. Bunny shooting a gun (complete with the obligatory BANG!) and Silco still hasn’t guessed all the letters, Jinx reveals the word with a menacing glee.
And Silco loses it.
“That is not a word,” he says, immediately glaring at you since you’re the obvious instigator.
He looks so grumpy and so adorably exasperated, you just want to kiss him until he forgets both his own name and just how difficult you like to make his life. 
“It is!” you argue, staring at him whilst you valiantly battle against the urge to smile, before revealing, “I just made it up.”
His whole expression drops into the most incredulous deadpan. 
“Darling.”
“What?” you counter. “All words are made up! It’s not my fault you can’t keep up with me.”
There’s a pause where Silco just stares at you, mismatched eyes glimmering with something just on the edge of dangerous. 
You stare back, raising one cheeky eyebrow in challenge. That does it. 
“I think it is best we retire for the evening,” he says, tone clipped and impatient, though his eyes never once leave yours.
Jinx whines in disappointment, climbing from your lap onto the desk just so she can launch herself into Silco’s lap. She clings to him like a kitten until he finally gives in to her and agrees to one more game, as long as it doesn’t involve any words. 
Which of course means your absolute favourite activity in the whole, wide world. Drawing! 
You teach them both a game you played as a child, one where a piece of paper is folded three times, in a way where you can only see one section at a time. 
The first person secretly draws the head and shoulders, with some lines over the fold into the next section so the second person can join it up. They then flip it over to the next section, where the second person draws the torso and arms, while the last person then draws legs and feet, making sure to keep your separate drawings hidden until the very end, where you reveal the character you’ve all made together. 
You go first to demonstrate, drawing the head of a smiling girl that looks a little bit like Jinx (you know, if Jinx were a squiggly, blue doodle). 
After Jinx and Silco have both drawn their sections, you open up the paper and spread it flat on the desk, revealing, to Jinx’s delight, an absolute monstrosity of a character.
Underneath your smiling face, Jinx has doodled a thin torso with long spaghetti arms that loop round and round until their hands rest on their hips. But it’s nothing compared to Silco drawing his own boots and somehow forgetting that he needed to draw legs as well. 
You play this game for a few rounds, until it’s Silco’s turn to draw first. Except he takes a millennium, sketching with his pen like he’s in the middle of an art class. But it’s only when you spot him gently rocking the chair from side to side, almost imperceptible to the untrained eye, that you realise he’s trying to lull Jinx to sleep.
And surprisingly, it works, humming quietly under his breath until she falls asleep in his lap, adorably curled up with her face against his chest. 
Once he’s certain that she’s fast asleep, he lifts his head to give you a knowing look before carefully lifting her and carrying her back to her bedroom. You take the look to mean that you should get changed into your pyjamas so you can both cuddle up when he returns from putting her to bed. 
But when you stand up from your chair, groaning as you stretch your tired body towards the rafters, you take a moment to peek at Silco’s drawing, sliding the paper over the varnished wood until you can finally see. 
And you swear your heart melts in your chest when you look down at it. A portrait of you, looking happier than you’ve ever seen yourself looking. At least, up until you’d moved in with Silco. Now, you’re pretty sure you look like this most of the time. 
You’ve begun to stay in his bedroom a few nights a week, usually when he doesn’t stay up working until dawn like a madman. 
Your (imaginary) spy training has gotten a real workout every morning, ensuring no-one sees you make the dash back to your own bedroom, then getting dressed to go and meet Silco in his office like you hadn’t spent the whole night in his bed.
Honestly, part of you wonders if it would just be easier to move some of your clothes into his bedroom, but you’re not sure if he’d want that. The man does have a lot more clothes than you do. 
And what if he’s not ready for you to both officially move in together? How would you even approach asking? Should you just do it and blame the goblins when he asks if you put them there? (They’re cheeky little bastards, you know, they’ve stolen enough of your socks from the washing machine.)
You’re just preparing to leave the office, peering around the corner of the doorway to make sure there’s no-one in sight. You’d left the kingpin snoring in his bed just moments ago, and it’s far too early for Sevika to be anywhere near The Drop, so you’re pretty confident you’re not gonna be caught.
Crouching down a little feels like a good, sneaky spy move, so you bend your knees slightly, duck your head, and begin to tip-toe down the hallway as quietly as you can.
And honestly, even after only a few steps in, you’re genuinely starting to feel like you could break into one of those fancy art museums Topside and complete the heist of the century. That is, until a low voice calls out behind you.
“What in Janna’s name are you doing?”
Janna herself would be proud of the way you hold in the blood-curdling scream that threatens to erupt from your vocal folds.
Instead of waking up everyone in the entirety of Zaun and probably some of Piltover, you clutch your chest and hiss out a wheezing, “Holy fucking fuck-”
You spin around to glare at Silco who is standing in the doorway to his office, coffee cup in hand as he leans nonchalantly against the frame. 
How didn’t you hear him sneak up? And how the hell did he manage to wake up from being borderline comatose AND make himself a coffee in such a short amount of time? 
You squint at him suspiciously as if that’ll make him reveal all his secrets. Maybe he should be the spy…
Silco looks rather amused as he watches you. 
“Has anyone ever informed you that you possess quite the potty mouth?” he asks, in that raspy morning voice that is far too hot for its own good. 
“Has anyone ever informed you that it’s rude to try to give your girlfriend a heart attack on purpose?” you shoot back.
He holds his free hand to his t-shirt clad chest in mock offence.
“I can assure you, my love, I was attempting no such thing,” he protests with the guiltiest look you’ve ever seen in your whole entire existence. 
You point at him as a threat. 
“Boy, don’t test me. I’ll take you out of my will.”
Silco’s face drops into a faux upset, slapping one hand against his cheek dramatically. 
“Oh no, whatever will I do without your collection of novelty ice-cream scoops?” he questions sardonically.
You return it with an overexaggerated gasp, (but deep down you’re secretly pleased he’s starting to play along with your melodrama; oh how the turn tables).
“How dare you!” you exclaim, throwing both hands up to cage your poor, shattered heart, before you turn your nose up to sniff haughtily. “That’s it, I’m breaking up with you.”
Silco swiftly downs the last of his coffee and then tosses the mug onto the sofa behind him blindly, instantly changing your mind on what you just said.
How the fuck did he do that without it breaking into a million pieces? And more importantly, how is he easily the hottest man in the world? 
“I think not,” he practically growls, stepping forward into the corridor. 
“You can’t stop me,” you announce loftily. “Me and the Scoop Troop are outta here.”
He advances on you slowly until he’s leaning down to speak into your ear, the roughness in his timbre sending a shiver down your spine. 
“Then I suppose I shall have to convince you to stay.”
Abruptly, Silco leans down to pick you up, deftly swinging you up into a bridal carry, forcing you to try your best not to squeal and accidentally wake everybody up. 
Then, he turns on his heel and carries you back in his office, kicking the door shut behind you as you giggle breathlessly into his chest. 
Maybe the reason you look so much happier now after moving in with Silco, is because you are. 
-
Of course, spy training in the mornings is not the only kind of training you embark on. 
True to his word, Silco begins to teach you self-defence after the multiple attacks you’ve endured since accepting the job as his negotiator. (To be fair, you’d endured some during your time at the market stall too, but that had been at a significantly lower danger level compared to this.)
So you’re in the bar one early afternoon, a few of the tables pushed out of the way to give you room to properly move about. Silco has given strict orders that no-one is to enter the bar until you’re finished, which had earned a huff of annoyance from Sevika, who would be forced to take the long-winding emergency exit in and out of the building.
Standing across from Silco in the cleared space, you ready yourself to learn some basic defence, hoping it’ll trump your current tactic of just running away really, really fast… (okay, fine, a moderate jog at best).
You’d hoped to learn how to properly use the knife Silco had gifted you in the market, excitedly bringing it along in the hopes that he’ll show you some cool moves.
But he’d confiscated it the very second you’d taken it out of the box and nearly dropped it on your own foot, blade down. 
So… self-defence it is, for now. 
Your boyfriend (smoking hot; an utter bitch; an absolute icon) stands opposite you, hands clasped behind his back as he talks. 
“Today I will show you some basic movements that will allow you to disengage if an attacker were to grab onto you,” he explains, reminding you of your old geography teacher (who was also your everything-teacher because, you know, Zaun). “Then, depending on how well you-”
Silco continues to tell you his lesson plan in detail, but honestly, you stop listening the second you notice that his shirt sleeves are rolled up. And he’s wearing a different waistcoat. It looks a little older than the usual ones he wears, but it’s still hot. Really accentuates his slutty little waist.  
Your cheeks get warm just thinking about it. 
Is it hot in here or is it just you? 
And gods, isn’t he pretty with his hair a little bit messy, those dark waves just the tiniest bit mussed up. And wouldn’t he look even prettier if you ran your hands through it and maybe put your lips on-
“Are you listening?” Silco cuts in. 
Your head snaps up to meet his gaze, positively startled at the interruption. 
“Yes, sir,” you blurt out.
He smirks in response which does not help your predicament in the slightest. 
“Very well,” he nods, bringing both hands to rest on his hips. “We will begin by learning a disengagement technique that would be useful if somebody were to-”
You swear you’re trying to listen.
Honestly.
But that voice. And the way his lips move when he talks. 
And fuck, it’s hot when his throat bobs when he swallows and-
“Are you ready?”
Uh oh, you did it again. 
“Huh?” you mutter, dragging your gaze away from his throat.
“I said, are you ready to try the movements I just explained?” Silco asks, raising one eyebrow expectantly. 
“Of course I am,” you scoff confidently, despite having not listened to a single word he’s just said. “I’m practically a cage fighter at this point. I could take you down faster than you could say 2-in-1 decarboxylator and herb infuser.”
He doesn’t ask. In fact, he’s stopped asking what the hell you’re talking about when you’re both busy because it more often than not just leads to a twenty minute monologue, which he’s more than happy to listen to as you lie in bed together. But not when you’re about to learn important skills like how to defend yourself in a fight.
“Alright then, show me,” Silco responds, stepping closer to you to do whatever the hell he’s been talking about for the last five minutes. 
Suddenly, he reaches out and grabs a handful of your shirt with one hand, scrunching it up right next to your collarbone. 
Your body jolts forward slightly with the motion, eyes flicking up to gawp at him in alarm. 
But instead of flipping you over his shoulder and breaking your spine (you assume that was the intent), Silco just looks down at you, waiting patiently for you to make your move.
Of course, you have no idea what you’re doing (ever), so you just stand there like a rat in headlights, staring up at him in awe. 
“Grab onto your shirt like I told you, darling,” he instructs softly when you still don’t do anything. 
“It’s okay, you can have it if you want,” you whisper back in a daze. 
“No, grasp the fabric with this hand,” he says, gently guiding your hand to fist the material, right next to where his hand is still holding onto it. “And then grab onto my wrist with your other hand.”
You do and suddenly, you feel like you’re in a sauna. 
Why’s he grabbing your shirt like that? And how in the actual fuck can somebody’s wrist be so goddamn hot?
“Now pull your shirt away from me with your hand and push my wrist away with the other,” Silco continues, seemingly unaware of how flustered you are. 
Oh, so that’s what he’s trying to get you to do. 
You hesitate for a moment, blankly staring at his arm. Only then does Silco notice your reticence, but he must put it down to nerves because the grip on your shirt lessens slightly. 
“It’s alright, my love, just try your best,” he tells you soothingly. 
You smile up at him, utterly dazzled by his… him-ness. 
“Okay.”
You just want to impress him. To make your silly little guy as proud of you as you are of him. 
So you try your best…
Which of course means putting way too much power into it. 
With absolutely zero warning, you shove him away from you at the same time as you rip your shirt from his grasp, the force causing you to stumble and trip yourself up on your feet. Instinctively, you reach out and grab onto Silco’s waistcoat, pulling him down with you. 
He just about manages to catch the back of your head before it smacks against the floor, but  can’t save himself from crashing down on top of you.
Your fingers stay latched onto him as he leans up to check on you, hand still cupping the back of your head protectively. 
“Are you alright?” he asks frantically, rapidly looking over you for any injuries.
Your brain must have short-circuited because in lieu of answering, you simply gaze up at him in shock.
The fall appears to have knocked some of his hair loose, now hanging down over his forehead in strands, and sweet Janna, this should be a crime. 
It’s not fair. How are you supposed to do anything or even think straight with this?
Silco cups your cheek and calls your name, clearly panicked. 
“Can you hear me?”
It’s too much for your poor heart, so give you in and press your lips against his in a passionate kiss.
Silco freezes for a split second before letting out a startled, hmpf!
He moves back, breaking the kiss to hold both of your hands against the floor to stop you from leaning up. 
“Darling, this is serious! You cannot kiss me in the middle of training,” he huffs, exasperated.
You hope the puppy-dog eyes will earn you your forgiveness. 
“But you’re just so cute.”
He sighs, head hanging down low for a brief second before he meets your gaze again.
“Are you injured?”
“No. Are you?”
Silco appears to be relieved, but also a little perplexed. 
“I’m fine, darling. How did you lose your balance so easily?” he asks. “It was supposed to be a simple manoeuvre.”
“I uh… I got distracted,” you say bashfully.
Please don’t read my mind. Please don’t read my mind. Please don’t read my mind. 
Luckily, he just runs a hand through his hair, trying to put it back in place. He fails spectacularly. 
“You cannot get distracted in a fight, you must be vigilant at all times,” he tells you, like he’s trying to be stern. 
You take no notice. 
“Even if the person I'm fighting is ridiculously hot?”
Silco ignores the question (despite the fact that the tips of his ears are turning the loveliest shade of red) and continues pretending to be strict. 
“Let’s try getting out of this hold,” he says. “What do you think would be the best way to escape from this position?”
You don’t even bother looking for a way to escape, still too focused on giving some love to your mans.
Leaning up as far as you can, you deliver a quick kiss to his nose, which, to your absolute delight, only makes him blush even more. 
He says your name as a scold.
“What did I just say?”
You toss your head to the side and whine, rumbling your legs a little against the floor like a child. 
“Why can’t I just do this if someone attacks me? I feel like it’s kinda working.”
“Do what?” Silco asks with a frown.
“Kiss them.”
And gods, you swear the noise that emanates from his chest is a growl.
“Absolutely not,” he grunts, pressing himself slightly closer to you until you involuntarily squeak.
Silco releases his grip on your hands and climbs off of you, helping you to stand up so he can dust off your trousers. 
Over the course of the next hour, he does actually teach you one or two methods to escape someone’s grasp, but perhaps more usefully, he explains that it’s better to focus on prevention of attacks, rather than relying on moves that you’re probably going to forget when filled with adrenaline.
But just knowing that you’ll have both a slew of bodyguards and a little bit of knowledge in self-defence makes you feel a bit more confident, which was probably the only reason you agreed to learn in the first place.
Of course, the impromptu lesson ends when you trip again and nearly break your nose falling into a table, this time when you’re only trying to get a glass of water. 
Being led carefully back upstairs by Silco, he exhaustedly suggests that training takes place in his office from now on, to which you ask if you can be wrapped up entirely in bubble wrap in what you would call your Safety Suit.
You get no response, which in your books is not strictly a no, so you make a mental note to add an industrial amount of bubble wrap to the next product order you fill out.
Lacing your fingers with his, you give him the biggest, most affectionate smile as you follow him upstairs to the shower, wondering just how in the hell you got so lucky.
-
It’s only a few weeks later that Jinx gets sick, somehow catching a head cold that thankfully isn’t too concerning, just a bit of a temperature that puts her in bed for a few days.
Although, much like her father, she's incredibly demanding. Which of course only multiplies tenfold the second she starts to feel under the weather, insisting either you or Silco be with her all day every day. So the two of you take shifts, juggling paperwork, meetings, and spending time with Jinx, as well as trying to look after yourselves.
It works for a few days, distracting Jinx when she gets bored or frustrated, coercing her to eat and drink, the three of you even spending time together to discuss her new invention ideas while she’s stuck in bed.
Then, it all goes downhill from there. 
You’re on Jinx duty one afternoon, down in the kitchen and in the middle of making her a warm drink when a loud commotion erupts from the bar. Your head pops curiously around the door frame only to be greeted with the sight of utter chaos; a slew of the club’s bouncers and Silco’s usual bodyguards frantically rushing through the club.
For a brief second, you wonder if there’s a security convention happening that you hadn’t been made aware of.
But the moment you spot the Doctor slinking through doors and up the stairs towards Silco’s office, your heart drops in your chest.
He’s supposed to be at a meeting right now with Sevika, across town.
Or will it have finished by now? Would he have had time to walk all the way back to The Drop?
Fuck, what if something happened during the meeting?
Desperately trying to keep the panic at bay, you slip through the crowd and up the stairs, all the while hoping you’ll find your boyfriend in his office as normal, pacing in front of the window like he usually does when there’s been a hitch in the plans. 
But when you reach the doors, you find two more burly guards blocking the entrance. 
You suck in a breath of air and take measured steps down the corridor until you’re standing in front of them. 
“Hey guys, I need to talk to Silco,” you say as calmly as possible, pointing to the door behind them. 
“Sorry, can’t let you in,” one of them says, barely even sparing you a glance.  
You frown. 
“Why? What’s happened?” you ask, trying to hide the wobble in your voice. Then, at the risk of sounding too involved, “Is he okay?”
“There’s been an incident,” the other grunts. 
You hold in the urge to scream and respond as courteously as you can given the situation. 
“Yes, I gathered that, but it’s really important that I talk to him.”
The guards barely look at you, as if you’re just a fly buzzing in front of them. 
“Sorry. Protocol.”
Your fists clench at your sides. 
He’s your partner, for Janna’s sake! 
For all you know, something terrible could’ve happened and these two chumps are treating you like you’re the maid! As a matter of fact, you’re pretty sure you rank higher than these two in the pecking order anyway. 
You put on your meanest face and glare up at them, channelling all your Eye of Zaun energy.
“Look, I don’t give a rat’s arse about protocol, I need to see him right-”
Even just the mention of protocol reminds you of Jinx, who you’d completely forgotten about in all the hubbub. 
Your mouth drops open and you spin on your heel mid-sentence, racing down the corridor to her bedroom. Footsteps land heavily on the floor until you’re bursting through into her room the instant your fingers grasp the handle.
Jinx is completely fine, albeit a little startled at your dramatic entrance, sitting up in bed where you’d left her. You almost collapse in relief. 
“You were gone for ages!” she complains with a huff, until her eyes land on your empty hands and her face screws up, whining, “Hey, where’s my hot choccy milk?”
You rush to her side, gently soothing back the sweaty hair from her forehead with your hand. 
“I’m sorry, pumpkin, I forgot,” you attempt to placate her. “I’ll make one for you in a little bit.”
Her annoyance fades and you just see the worry overtake her expression as she examines you, eerily similar to her father.
“What’s wrong?” she asks. 
“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart.”
She isn’t buying it. 
“Yeah there is,” Jinx scowls, even crossing her arms against her chest to show you she really means business. “Don’t lie to me, I’m not a little kid anymore.”
You sigh. What the hell are you meant to tell her? You don’t even know what’s going on.
“There’s just been… a little bit of an incident, but it’s nothing for you to worry about. We’re safe here,” you try to say reassuringly. 
“Where’s Dad?”
“He’s just trying to sort everything out,” you reply. “I’m sure he won’t be long.”
Gods, you hope that’s the case. 
Honestly, you feel awful lying to her, but you have no idea what’s happening yourself. So right now, you both need to stay as calm as possible.
You sit with her for however long, keeping both Jinx and yourself distracted with a game while you internally battle with yourself to stop the worry from overtaking you. 
It’s probably only a few minutes, but it feels like it’s been hours when the door finally opens and Sevika enters, automatically throwing a grimace towards Jinx.
Of course, Jinx isn’t Sevika’s greatest friend on the best of days, but now that she’s sick, it’s entirely worse. She throws the covers over her head and groans in retaliation.
“Boss wants to see you,” Sevika announces, looking directly at you, thankfully ignoring Jinx’s outburst. 
Hope flutters in your chest for a split second. If he wants to see you, that means he’s awake and more than likely talking.
But you can’t really ask the six million questions that are running through your brain with Jinx here listening. And you also can’t really leave her with Sevika, unless you want the entire room to be destroyed. 
“Can you fetch Ran for me?” you ask, begging the woman with your eyes whilst keeping your tone neutral. “I can’t leave Jinx on her own.”
Sevika sneers, clearly annoyed. 
Then, you watch as she considers Jinx (still hiding under the covers), and probably considers being the one to watch over her for the foreseeable. 
Without another word, she promptly turns on her heel and walks out the room.
The whole time you’re waiting for her return, Jinx pesters you to let her see her Dad, but you make her promise that she’ll stay in bed until he gives the okay. 
Luckily, Sevika is back within minutes, Ran in tow, who silently reclines in the furthest chair from her bed. You explain to Jinx that you’ll be back soon, and encourage her to tell Ran about all her new invention ideas.
And the very moment you’ve shut the door to her bedroom, Sevika pauses outside, presumably to update you on the situation.
But your anxiety immediately gets the better of you and you sprint down the hall like a madman, too nervous to even wait a few seconds.
Vaguely, you hear Sevika mutter, “Don’t know why I fucking bother,” as you speed away, but you’ll have to apologise to her later.
You need to see him now. 
When you arrive at Silco’s office, the guards move to the side in preparation, although they do manage to look the tiniest bit alarmed when you burst through the doors yelling, “I just really love paperwork!” and kick the door shut behind you.
Hopefully that’ll quench any suspicions they might have. 
Silco is clearly not in his office, so the next port of call is his bedroom, of which you slam the door open and tumble into the room, hanging onto the door knob for dear life when the motion threatens to send you sprawling across the floor.
From his bed where he’s laid out, Silco’s eyes widen in bewilderment, jolting back against the pillows his head is propped up on. 
Your fingers grip the door handle while your eyes fill with tears, gasping at the sight of him. 
It’s hard not to miss the stained bandage around his thigh, missing waistcoat, and filthy, rumpled clothes. And the fact that he’s much paler than usual. 
You feel sick. 
“Sil…”
“I’m fine, darling,” he attempts to mollify you, shifting about as he tries to sit up.
“No, no, don’t move,” you choke out.
You rush over to him, uncaring of the way your knees crack against the ground when you heavily drop beside his bed. 
“What-” you swallow the knot in your throat, shakily willing the tears away. “What happened?”
A hand reaches out to comfort him, but you hesitate, hovering above his arm.
The last thing you want to do is accidentally hurt him.
Silco grasps your hand with his, firmly intertwining your fingers together. But you beat him to it, bringing his hand to your mouth to gently kiss his knuckles.
“An individual attacked us on our way back to the club,” he explains, two-toned eyes focused on where your mouth rests on the skin of his hand. 
You look up at him, brow furrowed. 
“An individual? Did you see what they looked like?”
“No, they were masked and escaped before Sevika or I could apprehend them,” he replies, voice clearly tired and groggy.
You want to ask why the hell they were alone without any guards, but you know he’ll just get huffy about it. Something about being able to look after himself.
Your hand runs over your face as you sigh.
“Do you think it was one of the gangs?”
That’d be the most obvious set of culprits. 
“It could be, or it could be a lone fanatic who disagrees with my policies,” Silco replies. “We will conduct a thorough investigation and in the meantime security measures will be tripled, you and Jinx included.”
“What did the Doctor say?”
“The usual,” he says, avoiding eye contact as his gaze trails to your clasped hands once more. If there’s one thing that Silco hates, it’s talking about his own health and wellbeing. “The Shimmer injections should speed things along.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before cutting in with a question of his own. 
“How is Jinx?”
“She’s fine, worried about you,” you tell him, squeezing his hand in comfort.
Suddenly, your eyes meet his, filling with tears once more as your mind begins to spiral.
What if-
You cut off that train of thought immediately, letting go of his hand and leaning forward to lightly rest your forehead against his side.
“Oh, Sil,” you mumble shakily into the creased fabric of his shirt. 
“Come here, darling,” he says, gently pushing you to sit back up.
You look up to see him patting the space beside him, the side you usually sleep on.
“But I don’t want to hurt you,” you protest weakly. 
“You won’t,” he says with resolve.
You only hesitate for a moment longer before standing up and making your way around the bed, gingerly climbing onto your side.
Silco quickly reaches for you and pulls you over to him, laying your head against his chest and wrapping his arms around you. You’re careful not to lean on him too heavily. 
And gods dammit, as you lie there cocooned in his arms, those tears slowly and silently leak out against your will, soaking into his burgundy shirt.
“I was so worried,” you begin, hoping he can’t detect the wobble in your voice. “I… I thought…”
“Shh, my love,” he hums into your hair. “I’m here now.”
You allow yourself to relax in his presence, beyond thankful that he’s here and he’s alive, even if he’s injured. 
You’ll take care of him every single day until he’s better. And even after that too. For as long as he wants you.
But as much as you want to stay in his arms right now, reassuring yourself with each inhale and exhale of breath that levers your head on his chest, you have to get up. 
“Where are you going?” Silco protests when his arms slip away from you.
“I need to check on Jinx,” you explain, reluctantly climbing off the bed with a sniff. “Plus, it might look a bit suspicious if I spend too long in here. Might start a few rumours.”
Silco frowns when you stand at the foot of the bed and straighten your clothes, scrubbing a hand over your face to wipe away the tears.
“Bring Jinx here, then you can stay as long as you like,” he says, almost with a pout.
You try not to smile at the way he sounds like a little boy trying to get out of bedtime
“She’s still in bed,” you explain. “Plus, she’ll get upset if she sees that you’re hurt. I’ll send Sevika back in to watch over you.”
Silco doesn’t look convinced, so you wander over to his side again.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll come back later,” you say, kissing his forehead tenderly. 
He catches your hand before you can leave, smirking a little. 
“Why can’t you tell everyone you’re my nurse?” he asks, that mischief still lurking despite the exhaustion. “Then you could spend the night here, no questions asked.”
You tug your hand out of his grasp, glaring down at him in faux annoyance. 
“If you weren’t already injured, I would actually smack you right now,” you threaten.
“Sounds lovely,” he grins, reaching for your hand until you dance out of his reach with a yelp.
You begin to walk towards the door. 
“Stay in bed, you menace. And don’t do anything I would do!” you call out over your shoulder as you leave, exiting the room before you do anything stupid (like offering to give him a sponge bath just because you want to take his shirt off). 
And as you go, you pray to Janna that this period of recovery with Silco’s injury is not going to be a trial. The last thing you need right now is any more stress. 
-
The period of recovery is a trial. 
But did you honestly expect anything less with Silco as your patient? 
Luckily, his leg begins to heal fairly quickly, no doubt thanks to the Shimmer injections. But it still takes a bit of time until he can get back to work as normal.
After checking up on Jinx, you find out from Sevika that the Doctor had actually ordered bed rest until he gives the okay. Which is a relief at first because it means that you can bully Silco into properly resting for once in his life.
Except, that means you have to take over the brunt of the meetings and paperwork. 
Between the worry about both Jinx and Silco’s recoveries, and having to carry most of the business, you think you’re losing your mind. 
You continue to take care of Jinx, as well as Silco, who are both the whiniest, most demanding two people you’ve ever met when they’re sick. 
Jinx hates that she can’t visit Silco in case she gives him an infection and bugs you constantly about going to see him. And Silco borderline whines every time you stop him from getting out of bed to ‘just smoke one cigar and fill in one shipping manifest at his desk’. 
Yeah, no. 
More often than not, you’re running between the two of them, perpetually washing your hands and making sure your mask is secure on your face. 
Sometimes you’ll briefly stop on the way to inhale a snack. Sometimes you’ll shove your face under the sink taps and get both a drink and a wash at the same time. Other times you try not to scream into the nearest pillow or cushion in fear of accidentally losing your voice. 
This time, you’ve just finished putting Jinx to bed (a battle far more ferocious than probably any battle in history, ever), and you’re now on your way to check on Silco, ready for his new evening routine. 
Check stitches. Clean wound. Re-bandage. Give medicine. Give food. Check he’s actually taken medicine. Give drink. Find a new book for him to read because he’s bored, darling. 
But instead of finding him laying in bed, plucking his comb like it’s a musical instrument, he’s standing up (barely) and clutching to the dresser.
You watch incredulously as he attempts to tug his trousers over his injured leg, sweating, pale, and clearly out of breath. 
“Are you serious right now?”
He looks up, lips pulling into the tiniest smile at the sight of you. 
“Hello, sweetheart,” he greets warmly, before going back to the task at hand. 
You think your head is going to explode. 
“What are you doing?” you ask dumbly.
The tray of his food and meds are placed on the bedside table, while Silco continues to wrestle with his trousers. Frankly, he looks ridiculous, pyjama top still on, trousers halfway up one leg as the other gets stuck on his ankle over and over again.
“I have a meeting,” he informs you, as if that’s an explanation. 
You look up to the ceiling like you’ll find a piece of your sanity on it. There’s definitely no meetings scheduled in the diary.
Dear gods, if he’s got a fever now and is hallucinating, you think you might just evaporate. 
“What meeting?”
Silco decides not to give you any details and instead just calmly states,
“It is very important. I must attend.”
Then, he carries on trying to get dressed like he wasn’t stabbed in the leg only a week earlier.
You can almost visualise the stress levels rising in your body; the jug about to overflow and spill out of you. 
What you should probably do right now is carefully help him back into bed and fetch Sevika so you can all decide on the best solution to this dilemma.
But you’re human, so you let your emotions get the better of you instead. 
“No.”
Silco has the gall to look surprised.
“I beg your pardon?” he asks, genuinely shocked at your directness. 
“I said no, now get back in bed,” you say, moving over to him to help him take off those stupid trousers and put his pyjamas back on.
He must not understand how serious you are right now because he continues to gently protest.
“Darling, I appreciate-”
“Silco,” you cut him off, tears filling your eyes as you arrive in front of him, looking him dead in the eye. Your voice is shockingly quiet and precise. “I need you to get back in bed or I think I am actually, seriously going to lose it.”
He looks startled, shuffling forward to comfort you. 
“Sweetheart-”
“Please, Silco,” you cut him off, your voice cracking with the words. 
Silco appraises you for a moment, watching your tense body and distraught face. 
Finally, he speaks. 
“Alright,” he concedes quietly, mismatched eyes full of concern. 
He manages to step out of his trousers and you help him hobble back over to the bed, pulling up the covers so he can get under the sheets.
And once he’s comfortably sat up against the headboard, he opens his mouth to speak again, eyes watching you carefully the whole time. 
You don’t let him. 
You lean forward, kiss his cheek, and then step away. 
“Please eat this,” you say, nodding to the tray on his bedside table. “I’m going to check on Jinx and then I will be back to change your bandage.”
Your footsteps out the room are measured and by the time he calls your name, asking you to wait, you’re already out the door. But you can’t stop walking because if you do, you’ll burst into tears…
Which is exactly what happens after you check on Jinx.
You’re just on your way back to Silco’s bedroom when one of the employees stops you in the corridor to say that a warehouse has been raided, meaning a bunch of stock has been stolen. 
You politely thank her for letting you know, ask her to inform Sevika, take a sharp turn into your bedroom, and break down sobbing.
Truthfully, you’re not sure how long you spend kneeling on the floor next to your bed, face down as you cry into the sheets.
But it must be long enough because the door opens and a set of limping footsteps shuffle towards you. 
He sits down on the bed and gently - soothingly - runs his fingers through your hair. 
There’s a sharp intake of breath between each word, but you somehow manage to heave out, “You… should… be… in… bed,” sobbing the last word until it’s completely unintelligible. 
“I know, my love, I know,” Silco consoles you.
He delicately encourages you to get up and get into bed, following you under the covers despite there barely being enough room for the both of you. 
Once he’s reassured you that you’re not hurting his leg, you let him hold you in his arms, rubbing your back until you stop crying. 
You have a killer headache. And a big part of you feels bad for letting him comfort you when it should be the other way round. 
“Do you know why I gave you this bedroom when I first asked you to work and live here?” he eventually mumbles into your hair. 
You sniffle. “No, why?”
“It’s the only one with a single bed.”
Slowly, you pull back to look at him in disbelief. 
“What?”
“I wanted to make sure you didn’t invite anyone over,” he explains nonchalantly, like any sane person would invite you to live with them and give you the tiniest bed ever, just because he was jealous of even the thought of you having a partner. 
You huff a laugh and his lips quirk into a smile in response. 
“There was never anyone to invite over,” you say. “Plus, it doesn’t really make sense to invite someone over when they already live with you.”
Silco watches you affectionately. He cups your cheeks and leans forward to capture your lips in the slowest, most tender kiss. 
Your eyes flutter closed and you whisper against him, “You’re injured.” 
“My lips are perfectly fine,” he mumbles back. 
You gently whack him on the arm. 
“Silly boy.”
He smirks (the one that still gives you butterflies) and steals another kiss before cuddling up to you again. 
“Thank you for looking after everything for me,” he says over your shoulder. “In truth, I am not quite sure what I would do without you.”
“I don’t know how you do it all, I feel like one of those stretchy dolls being pulled in every direction until they snap,” you snort, scrubbing a hand over your face. 
“You’re doing wonderfully, my sweetheart. I am continually astounded by your unwavering strength and compassion,” Silco tells you. 
Then, he blows an amused breath of air out of his nose, like he can’t quite believe whatever he’s thinking. “It’s no wonder I-”
He pauses, whole body suddenly tense in your arms. 
You wait patiently for him to continue, squeezing him a little bit tighter in reassurance. 
“Hmm?”
Silco eventually lets out a shaky exhale, simultaneously relaxing into your touch, almost like he’s melting into your warmth. 
“I know that you will be just fine. We will be just fine,” he says.
You hum again, feeling yourself drifting off to sleep with each looping circle traced on your skin. 
Deep down, you know you’ll have to go fetch him some water and his first aid supplies when you wake. You’ll sit in your armchair beside your own bed until he wakes up from some much needed rest. 
But he’s worth it. He’s worth the crick in your neck, and the reduced hours of sleep, and the overwhelming stress.
He’s worth it all. 
Because you love him. 
-
a/n: did anyone else play the folded paper drawing game or was it just me?? 
edit: i just googled it and the game is called Exquisite Corpse 😭
edit edit: so i’m currently trying to plot out the rest of this story so there’ll hopefully be fewer breaks between chapters (it was only meant to be a one-shot lmao), wish me luck my lieges 🙏 if you’re still reading this daft story after all this time, ily. if you’re new, welcome ily
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lil--nuggett · 9 months ago
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Hey guys, so if you know Baldur's Gate 3 this is an AU for that with Hardenshipping but it's really fucked up. I will explain why it's fucked up below the cut.
Maxie is a High Half-Elf Warlock (his patron is Groudon), and Archie's a Human Fighter <3
Also I just realized this is the first time you have seen me draw Archie seriously lmao my bad guys I'll try to draw him again soon
I took a ton of inspiration for various things for these designs, including Guile for Archie's armor bc I love Guile sm!!
(More info and our dumb AU lore under here - No BG3 Spoilers I promise <3)
I'm going to tell you this now... this gets really fucking crazy and honest to god I know I'm going to have a hard time explaining this. It WILL be quite long and I WILL be yapping.
This AU is really just something we did on impulse and it's really fun to mess around with, so I'm hoping you all will enjoy the concept as well :)
I'll try to explain it simply as I can. I thank you in advance to all who sit here and read this ily sm if you read it all <3333
Anyways, okay so imagine how one could do a bg3 AU for these two fuckers...
And throw it right out the window because you'll never guess how me and my friend have done it.
The Backstory:
This all started when my friend decided to play BG3 for the first time, and he jokingly said to me "Should I make Maxie our main character??" and I replied "I you want, but I won't force you" and thus BG3 Maxie was created, and his misadventures began.
Now your probably wondering (if you've played the game) what about the guardian?? Who did we make the guardian?? Well, we made Archie the guardian. However, I did not know just how wild this idea would get within the next few days.
So, eventually we realized how crazy the BG3 lore actually is (it's a like fucking DnD campaign idk how we didn't realize this beforehand), and so, we jokingly started our own "AU Lore" that ties in with the BG3 Lore.
If you really want to know, I have an entire note in my notes app dedicated to keeping track of what happens. It is very long.
The Parasite:
Now, if you've played the game or know anything about it, you know about the Mindflayer parasites. Well, one fateful day, me and my friend joked that the Parasite in Maxie's head was this little freak who looks like Archie.
The two have no correlation other than looks, its completely coincidence and it's not a mimic situation. The Parasite "Archie" does nothing but talk nonsense to Maxie all the time, and initially the bit was that he only talked about Fortnite. All because I made the joke that the dream realm in game looked like a fortnite update. By now, that bit has fallen off (thank god), replaced by just general nonsense and lies.
Also he fucking looks like this:
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Weird little freak. This is just one of his talk sprites I have, this is just his neutral expression.
So basically it's:
- Maxie was supposed to be on a Geology research trip, but instead he got dragged into the Parasite issue with the rest of the companions. He really just wants to get home to Archie.
I am the one who handles everything for Maxie in this AU, I do his voice, I handle his lore, etc.
- Parasite Archie is this 1 foot tall, neco arc-esque version of Archie that sits on Maxie's shoulder and tells him nonsensical things. He also says Maxie's name wrong, he says Maxie's full first name and pronounces it as "Maximilliam" instead of the "N" at the end. For Maxie it's like handling a toddler but the toddler fights back, doesn't shut up, and threatens your life. He also has a ton of his own lore that my friend continously adds on to, so I can make another post with just the parasite's part of things.
My friend handles everything with the Parasite himself, comes up with the lore, does the voice, etc. I simply keep track of it.
- The "dream visitor" version of Archie is not real either. It's linked to the Parasite in ways that if I get into it, I will spoil a good chunk of the game. Sorry. Just know you can consider this and Parasite Archie kind of as one in the same almost.
- The REAL Archie is still at home, completely unaware of what's happening, while Maxie is fighting for his life. He does miss him, though, and hopes he gets home soon. He and Maxie are only boyfriends, they haven't gotten married yet. (They also haven't been through their rivalry yet, as this all takes place before that happens.)
Sorry for the convoluted yap sesh, I just have more art planned for this stupid AU and- God I cannot possibly just post this shit with no context. Like, I'd have to explain it eventually so I might as well do it now beforehand yk 😭😭
I might do separate posts with our HCs and some silly conversations that have happened between Parasite Archie and Maxie if you guys would want that :)
Also, I do have all of the sessions from where my friend plays the game recorded and I'll be sure to post some clips of what Parasite Archie sounds like eventually, possibly with snippets of my shitty Maxie voice in there as well. You'll get to see the talk sprites in action with that, too.
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yourlocaltrashpandaa · 1 year ago
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Getting To Know You
michael afton x fem!reader
oneshot
fandom: fnaf
Context: Y/n was quite the ‘Michael Afton Observer’ and she has come to the conclusion that he’s a strange one until she started to get to know him
A/n: I did a poll and Michael won said poll. Also semi following the lore bc I’m nothing but faithful to my source material. Hope you enjoy!
<======>
Fall 1982
You found the boy known to you as Michael Afton none other than odd. You honestly didn’t know why. Sure you have never talked to him personal, you just observed him from a far. He had a small group of friends though he seemed to be popular, yet he was much more of a loner most of the time. How do know that? Well, the two of you have many class together, where he’s mostly doodling in his notebook more than anything.
You’d look up from your notes you were taking in English and glance in his direction every so often and he’s always drawing something in there. You were curious yet you never had the courage or the opportunity to ask him. It’s not that you were shy or anything, you’ve just seen how he and his friends treat your other peers. Not getting opportunity to ask while in class is because Michael is always quick to leave as soon as the bell rings.
But today, you were determined. Your curiosity was getting the best of you and Michael well he just fascinated you. You walked into your English class earlier then you usually did and there you saw him, Michael, doodling his notebook. Hearing you walk into the classroom, he looked up from his notebook and looked at you.
“Um, hi.” You awkwardly waved at him.
Michael’s blue eyes scanned you, he knows you’re one of his classmates he just forgot your name. “Hey.” He said and repeated your wave gesture.
‘Progress!’ You thought as you made your way to your seat.
Michael watched you, his eyes trained on your every move until you plopped down in the desk next to him. Were you seriously always next to him? How come he never noticed? Maybe he was to busy trying to escape the world and ignore the teacher that he just never knew.
Michael shifted his eyes from you and back to his notebook and went back to the sketch he was working on. His attention to the sketch was cut short when you piped up.
“What are you always drawing in there?” You asked him.
He looked at you and scoffed at your question. “None of your business.” He said.
This time when he spoke, you noticed his British accent. It caught you a bit of guard more so than his rude tone.
“I’m just curious,” You said back. “I noticed you draw all time in class.”
Michael took notice of your words. “You watch me?” He raised an eyebrow at you.
“No! I was observing!” You exclaimed.
“So, watching?” Michael replied.
“No!” You whined.
Michael chuckled at this. “You’re such a weirdo. I’m Michael.” He said.
“I know. I’m Y/n.” You said casually.
“You already know my name?” He asked.
“Yeah, why? Are you going to say I’m stalking you? Cause I’m not! We have several classes together you just don’t notice.” You said.
“Oh…” He trailed. This was news to him but to be honest, Michael knew he was loner without his group of friends and he doesn’t talk with other people unless he has to otherwise he keeps to himself. Yet you decided to talk to him, maybe he can make a new friend.
Winter 1982
“Michael!”
Michael turned around after hearing his name being called. He saw you, bundled up in your puffy winter coat that looked a little too big on you. A small smile appeared on his face when he saw you. The two of you have become close in the last three months you started talking. He found he liked hanging around you more than his other friends yet you never mentioned you to them.
“Y/n, hey,” He waved as he met you halfway in the hallway. “That coat looks like it’ll swallow you whole.” Michael chuckled at his comment.
“Haha,” You rolled your eyes at his comment but smiled. “It was a hand-me-down from my brother that’s why I can practically swim in this.”
“You have a brother?” Michael asked. This is the first time you mentioned family members to him so he was taking his chances with asking you about about your brother.
“Yeah. He’s away at college. He calls the house every so often so I hear from him frequently. He’s coming home for Christmas though. My mom is very excited about it.” You said.
“Really? Are you excited to see him?” Michael asked.
You smiled and nodded. “Yeah, of course I am,” You said. “Hey, Mike?”
‘Mike? That’s new.’ Michael thought to himself. He never heard you use nicknames maybe it’s a sign that the two of you are close. He liked the nickname you gave him.
“Yeah?” He answered.
“Do you have any siblings?” You asked.
“Oh yeah. I’m the oldest and I have a younger sister and brother.” Michael said.
“That sounds like a full house.” You said.
Michael shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, it isn’t really.” He said.
“Oh come on, being a big brother has to be fun.” You said.
Michael frowned as he scrunched his face up at you. Are you serious? Well, he can’t really blame you for saying that since you are the younger sibling between you and your brother. But the look on his face didn’t go unnoticed by you.
“What’s that face for?” You asked him.
“Nothing, just… being the older sibling is not fun.” Michael said.
“For you maybe, my brother and I have good relationships.” You grinned proudly with your hands on you hips.
Michael rolled his eyes at you. “Let’s get to class, Y/n.” He said, ruffling your hair.
“Fine. You remembered to do the homework, right?” You asked him as the two of walked to English together.
“We had homework?!”
“Michael!”
Spring 1983
Time passed and the season changed. As well as yours and Michael’s friendship. To the point that you have been begging him for him to let you go over to his place. Mainly because A). He’s been over to your house and met your parents and B). You wanted to the same. You wanted to meet your best friend’s family but he’s been denying your request and coming up with bullshit excuses.
“Come on, Michael please!” You begged him.
The two of you are hanging out by his locker, it was the end of the day and you weren’t taking “no” for an answer.
“No. How many times do I have to say it.” He said.
“You’re being unfair,” You exclaimed. “Why can’t I come over, Mike?”
“Because I don’t want you too.” Michael said.
“That’s not a reason,” You frowned, crossing your arms. “Tell me! Why can’t I come over?” You asked again.
Michael went completely silent, honestly he didn’t have a reason, well not a good reason. It’s just, his feelings towards have changed in the last couple of months. He feels a lot more tense around you, not that he’s uncomfortable but that he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you and at home, it’s his downtime, Michael is still a bit secretive about things and you respect that.
Though he’s been dodging this question since you started asking two weeks prior. Maybe he should just give in at this point, he doesn’t want you to be mad at him. Honestly, he doesn’t want to argue with you about something so petty.
Michael sighed, combing his hand through his hair. “I don’t have a reason why, y/n.” He said, he sounded a bit defeated.
This perked you up. “Really?” You answered.
He nodded his head as he looked off to the side away from your gaze.
“Soooo, I can come over?” You asked.
Michael shrugged. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.” He said.
“Yes! Thank you! I’ll see you this Saturday, Mikey! Don’t forget!” You exclaimed.
His face flushed pink at the nickname. ‘Wha?! Mikey?!’ He thought. Did you really just call him that with no hesitation.
“Y-Yeah, yeah. See you Saturday.” He muttered out.
“Great! Well I have to get home! See you then, Mikey!” You waved to him as you walked away from his locker and headed down the hallway.
There it was again. You called him Mikey again. Nobody calls him Mikey other than his younger siblings even his own mother. It made him feel strange, his heart skipped a bit. God, he’s fallen hard for you. You were just something, kind yet stubborn, tough yet gentle, smart and willing to ask questions. He thought he just admired you but no. His heart skips a bit when you’re around, whenever you smile or when he makes you laugh with a dumb joke he said.
He felt like he doesn’t deserve you yet that’s for you to decide.
Summer 1983
Once summer rolled around, Michael couldn't be more than happy. He never liked school that much more so going to class though he has to say that school this year wasn't so bad with you around. You make going to class less of a drag to him. But, sure had his other friends and you had yours, Michael felt that his friendship with you was more special in his eyes. Yet that comes down to his recently found feelings for you.
He's gone to your house and you've have gone to his. You've met each other's families. You hang out at the mall just the two of you, you beat him at video games at the local arcade. He wanted more. He wanted to tell you how he felt. But at the back of his brain he had 'what ifs', he had doubts. Would you feel the same?
He remembered when he first got his driver's license a month before, he remembered telling you, the smile on your face as you congratulating him with a big hug, telling him that you were excited to not walk everywhere, he laughed at you comment. He had recently got a car from his father (of all people) for his good grades (thanks to you of course). Holy shit, this was definitely his chance.
Grabbing his keys from his dresser, walking out of his room and downstairs with his backpack slung over his shoulder. Michael passed his mother who was in the kitchen with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth caught notice of her older brother as a glint of curiosity shimmered in her eyes as she watched him walk passed. She ran to the empty doorway of the kitchen and stopped him.
“Mikey? Where are you going?” She asked.
Michael ignored her when he yelled to his mother that he was going out as his mother said okay back. He looked to Elizabeth and said. “None of your business, shorty.”
Elizabeth brushed off her older brother’s comment. “It’s N/n, isn’t it?” She asked with a sly smirk on her face.
Michael’s face flushed. “N-No, No it’s not. You’re imagining things I’ll be back for dinner.”
Elizabeth laughed waving to him as he left. “Bye, Mikey!”
*
*
*
You heard the sound of a car horn outside of your house. You were slightly confused as you sat up from your bed. You walked over to your window, pulling back your curtains and that’s when you saw Michael, waving up at you leaning against his car. Your eyes widened as you waved back. You gestured to him that you’ll be down in a minute.
Grabbing a bag, you rushed down the stairs passing your parents in the living room, telling them that you’ll be out with Michael. With them telling you to be back before dinner.
Making your way outside and towards Michael with a smile on your face. He smirked as he leaned off his car and looked at you.
“Damn, Mikey. When did you get this?” You asked him looking at his car in awe. It was so shiny!
He smirked at your question. “Well, my father gave it to me a week ago.” He said.
You were surprised. “Bullshit!” You exclaimed with a smile.
“Bull-true!” Michael exclaimed back.
“Damn… no offense, Mike but your dad is… standoffish and prickly. Yet he gave you a car and a brand new one at that.” You said.
Michael chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck out of nervousness. “True, but he said it was proud of me with school this year so I deserved it.” He said.
“And who helped with that?” You asked with a smirk as you reached up to ruffle his hair.
Michael laughed as he tried to swat your hands away from his hair. “You did, you did! And thank you, N/n.”
You smiled proudly as you took your hands away. “So, what’s the plan today, my good sir?” You teased.
Michael rolled his eyes at you. “I though I could take you on a drive and maybe stop for ice cream, m’lady.” He said playing along with you.
“Sounds perfect, Mike.” You said with a smile.
Michael smiled back at you as he opened the passenger door for you. You thanked him as you hopped into the seat.
‘This is going well so far.’ Michael thought to himself. He had plan, he hoped when you spilled his feelings to you you’d feel the same.
After driving around, talking and getting ice cream, Michael drove to your hangout spot. You showed Michael this spot back in the spring just for peace and quiet. A hill in a grassy area not to far from the neighborhood. It was nice, Michael and you sometimes talked but most of the time you two just sit in a comfortable silence enjoying each other’s company.
That’s what you did this time but Michael was a bit more tense than usual and you took notice of this. You frowned as you placed your hand on his shoulder.
“You okay, Mike?” You asked him.
Your voice made the boy in question jump a bit startled as he whipped his head around to look at you.
“Y-Yeah,” He replied nervously. “I’m fine.”
You scowled at him. “No you’re not. You seem a bit tense and a wee bit nervous.” You replied.
Damn you’re good but he knew how observant you are. He hates you for it but he’s grateful for it too. Whenever you ask if he’s okay, he’s always willing to opening up and talk. Yet not this time.
He sighed. “You don’t say.” He replied.
“That’s all I get? Come on, Mike. What’s going on?” You asked.
“I, well, I… jeez, this is harder than I thought it would be…” He said in a low tone.
“What?” You said you were confused. He was never this tight lipped before.
“Mike, I don’t understand.” You said to him.
“Close your eyes.” He blurted out.
“Huh? Why do I have to close my eyes?” You asked in a confused tone.
“Just do it, please?” He asked with pleading eyes.
You couldn’t say no, you trusted Michael.
“Okay.” You said as you closed your eyes.
As soon as you shut your eyes, you felt something warm press against your lips. You scowled a bit in confusion as you opened your eyes. Your eyes widened in shock. Michael was kissing you gently on the lips. You didn’t know what to do but you kissed back leaning towards him. You’re finger tips brush the top of his hand as you placed your hand on top of his. Michael pulled away and he looked at you and smiled a bit.
“I really like you, Y/n. I feel that I can be myself around you. That’s why I love you, you’re everything a guy would want. You’re kind but stubborn, gentle but tough. I like that about you.” Michael said.
You blushed at his words. “I don’t know what to say. But, I’ve found that I’m very happy that you feeling the same as I do.” You said.
“Wait. You’re not messing with me are you?” Michael asked, he gripped onto you hand, squeezing it a bit.
“No, not this time. I’m being serious. I grew a crush on you even before I talk to for the first time.” You said, you chuckled a bit in embarrassment.
“What?! How come you never said anything? And how did I not notice?” Michael asked face-palming himself.
“Well, I guess I can hide my feelings pretty well. Or you’re just clueless.” You said teasing with your last comment.
“Okay, now you’re being a tease.” Michael replied with a smirk.
“Hey, I thought you loved me.” You said.
“I do love you.” Michael said.
“Good.” You said back.
Summer time love. Something that doesn’t last forever. Before his younger brother’s birthday party, you moved away, saying goodbye to the boy you loved.
20xx
Moving back to Hurricane. You thought you’d never see the day, though you had hopes that you’d return. It was your one goal once you became an adult. Mostly having the hope that you’d see the boy that had your heart and occupied your mind since you moved. Michael Afton. You had other boyfriends in your teen years and college years though they never compared to Mike.
Your neighbors were quiet friendly when you moved into your new house. They told you about your neighbor that lived next door to you. Said he worked the night shift at his job. Gee, that must suck. Though you have taken an interest in this next door neighbor of yours.
It took you a few days to get the guts to go over and introduce yourself but to say who it was, stunned you to your core.
Knocking at the door to his house, you heard a faint yell of a “coming” from behind the front door. You waited, slightly nervous as you rocked on the balls of your feet. You jumped a bit when the door opened and revealed a young man your age and he looked oddly familiar.
His blue eyes shifted to you, he had slight bags underneath his eyes must become of his night shift job. Your eyes widened and you gasped a bit.
“Mike?”
The young man widened his eyes too as you said his name. When he looked at you, he knew there was something familiar about you. He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself.
“Y/n?”
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pigeonstab · 3 months ago
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@unknownsodabrand Well Lucky you, I also love the artistic process and I keep all my sketches!! (seriously this is the most self indulgent question I could ever answer, thank you sm I'm gonna ramble a while sorry)
First I was only planning on doing the one Geno Illustration, I mostly wanted to experiment with the long 1000x2000 format bc I thought It could make for an appealing composition and it ended up being pretty challenging to get right.
So. I started with some rough planning of where I wanted everything:
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Since this was gonna be a full Illustration I planned the colors earlier than I usually would (I have a love/hate relationship with coloring):
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Didn't really like how it came out the first time so I just put a color mask over it, I wanted something a little warmer+brighter cause the flowers looked kinda green to me (Geno's was the one that gave me the most trouble and I liked it the least at first, by the time I finished It was my favourite XD)
Then I decided to make the three parts:
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again used the same planning, rough sketch then color.
Then onto actually starting the Illustrations. I worked on these one by one but I'll show the process for all three by the steps rather than saying the same thing thrice.
as much as I wanted to keep the best for last I couldn't help myself and did the characters first.
Lineart:
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(Error was supposed to be holding a golden flower so I made his hand's lineart and color layers it's own folder so I wuldn't mess it up trying to draw the flower. I looked a bit stupid so I scrapped the idea)
Flat color:
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(I think I did Error's coloring after his background?)
In terms of backgrounds:
for Sans I started with the grid pattern, so I used a ruler tool and went in with color directly (the gradients are changes I did at the very end but I'm not editting out) Then I added the columns and the flowers were a last minute addition because the piece just felt a bit... naked. (also! I say columnS cause I planned on putting two, couldn't make it work the angle and space so I scrapped the bottom one)
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The light is a yellowish white with gaussian blur of orange, it's an 'add' layer? ("ajouter(éclat)" because my app is in french) It's about 50% opacity.
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I also shaded Sans at the same time as this with a multiply layer with a dark and light color (reddish brown and like light yellow) I'm not showing it bc I do have a 30 image limit I think
Then for Error's background it's just a case of making the lineart for the hammock, haing a layer underneath for the color, a white bg with blue gradient and the strings
For geno I have underneath the black to grey of the save screen, then I have the moss and the flowers
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(The flowers were very fun to make I think I only copy pasted one?)
The lighting is a multiply layer over the whole image made the exact same way as Sans' coloring, I thought it was maybe a bit too dark so I dupplicated geno's lineart and colors folder to overlay over the lighting so he would pop more (seeing this now I think either would have been good. The first one might be better actually)
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and that's it I think! If you read all of this, well first of all thank you but don't you have anything better to do?
also revised Geno's sketch once but it didn't fit in any where:
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Error with my attemps of making the flowers work
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addox · 5 months ago
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no because tell me if im being unreasonable ok. someone posted a screenshot of a tweet that said "when you want someone so bad you know you could never go near them" or something to that degree. and then captioned it as like them towards a whole ass real person.
someone else just replied with "gross" and then people like, got mad at the person that said it was gross? and when i spoke up saying like, at what point do we draw the line of whats okay and not to say about a whole ass real person, the point of that joke is that you physically need to be separated from someone or else something 'bad' would happen.
people acted as if thats some sort of crazy leap i made. no. the joke is that you feel you would not be able to behave appropriately around someone because you are soooo sexually attracted to them. like. what. that IS gross. and its even grosser to openly admit you feel that way about a real person.
they tried to spin it back like "nooo i meant id be shy around them!!! youre making assumptions !" like absolutely not youre an adult and you are able to recognize the implications of the original tweet and that is not at ALL what its saying.
am i crazy. am i the unreasonable one here. like i left that server bc they have a history already of making molestation & SA jokes and excusing really questionable behavior but like seriously am i the one out of line
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