#I WASN’T EVEN SLEEPY

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

what fuck kind of hex was placed on me that knocked me out for *checks notes* THREE HOURS

[imavikingo]

I said this in tags on another post, but it’s relevant and deserves its own post (I should be reading my usual pre- sleeping fic selection, BUT! I had this revelation -being sleepy is useful once again! -)

They NEEDED Steve to disappear, to be gone. To never care about Bucky anymore. That way they could treat Bucky as they see fit, and that means treating him like shit.

Steve would NEVER accept or allow Bucky to make amends, he would NEVER let the government take care of Bucky or be part of his “rehabilitation” in any way shape or form. That’s why he became Nomad, that’s why Bucky stayed in Wakanda. He would had fight with teeth and nails for Bucky.

“He died already more than once! He was a victim! A prisoner of war. He saved the fucking universe. What the fuck do you mean with amends!”

He became a wanted criminal for that same reason, to not let them have Bucky (nor other people in a fucking watchlist)

They needed Steves relationship with Bucky to become bitter, to be nothing more than a memory.

Steve being in retirement wouldn’t have cut it and…

Bucky was always going to follow Steve, no matter what.

So they needed him to stay alone (or with a companion that didn’t really care as much as Steve, enter Sam)

This way they killed two birds with one stone in Endgame: Reinforcing Steves “love” for Peggy, because “he’s NOT gay, you guys!”, and the partial isolation of Bucky.

[diabolicjoy]

mittens !!!! pattern X - i modified a bit because my yarn was a bit more thick, so i shortned a few rows of the colorwork & added the burnt orange details instead :)

[realreadysetrose]

Lil Cal continues to haunt me as I try to make my way through cosplaying all the homestuck trolls

[crybaby-bkg]

omg pottery artist Bakugou who never wears a shirt whenever he creates stuff bc of how dirty he gets and makes you the cutest little homemade mugs and bowls. I will eat my fists

[deliciouspirateangel]

My sister wanted to see the Eras tour in theaters so I said I’d go with her. Sat through that whole damn thing and she didn’t even play Safe And Sound 🙄

Fr tho I understand why Swifties are losing their goddamn minds in the theater. I was very passionately singing along to the 8-10 songs I knew lmao. There were only six people in our theater so we were probably the most rambunctious ones tbh. The outfits were all great except that sparkly t shirt dress looking like a 2020s barbie fashionista 🤮 I liked seeing her hair get progressively wavier as the show went on. Even got the souvenir popcorn bucket and cup just for funsies. Honestly I’d rather pay $20 and see a beautifully shot concert on a big movie screen than go through the stress and rigamarole of going to an actual concert lmao I hope more artists start doing this. Anything to keep the movies open

[floral-hex]

Two hours. I got two hours of sleep. I’m so frustrated with myself.

Went to the ER. Everyone was very nice. They gave me an IV bag of fluids (I was dehydrated! Sad cactus!) and a little ativan (teeny dose), which was nice at the time! Just a little amount, but the (mostly) quiet room, fluids, and meds managed to relax me a lot. Could have fallen asleep if the bed was actually comfortable. Then they packed me up, gave me another little Ativan to take home for tonight, and said they’d contact my primary. Cool cool. Got some much needed food on the way home, then took the pill and got comfy. Again, smallest dosage they make, so no feeling too good. Managed to muscle past my anxiety to fall asleep, and… 2 hours. Woke up. Tried to go back to sleep. Too frustrated and anxious and I feel like crap. What should I do? Just eat a whole gummy and hope that knocks me out? For me, that feels like playing roulette. Could work, yeah. Could make me sleepy and pliable. Could also backfire and make me feel sick and extra anxious for another 5 or 6 hours. What do I do? Roll back up to the ER? “Hewwo, I woke up and I need more benzos 👉👈🥺” haha funny, but I’ve seriously been thinking about it 😑

God, I’m miserable. Been sitting outside on the porch for a bit. Not quite an hour. Needed to get out of the apartment, but tbh, nearly 4am outside isn’t doing much for me. I just feel alone. It wouldn’t help with sleeping, per se, but just someone, I dunno, hugging or holding me for a few minutes would honestly save me a little. What a mess. Oh yeah, and apparently my kidneys are going 👎👎👎 down. Bad meat. Not great test results. Not what I’m focusing on tonight. I’m a mess. Anyway, this was my update. Sorry for all the walls of text. Suppose this is mainly for me to look back on in the future, but can’t pretend it’s not at least a little validating to put this all out into the world and knowing that maybe one or two people read this and I didn’t suffer completely without recognition. Yeah…

[tomatoluvr69]

Sorry taking my tumblr break in between resting my book eating my homemade lemon herb hummus and setting up the projector to watch approximately 1/3 of an artful movie before getting so sleepy and going 2 bed

[wyrm-with-a-why]

Driving home at night so scary :(

[scionshtola]

what do you even do when part of the reason you love someone is the compassion and care they show for others (and for you) and the willingness to stand in harms way with you to protect others (and you) when those same things naturally extend to sacrificing themself to save everyone (and you)

[speakercrab666]

lmao mum was talking about these friends of friends i’ve met like twice ever and i didn’t remember who they were until i remembered being 12 years old and repeatedly whacking the dad with my book (while still keeping my page) for making a gay joke, after sitting through like an hour of the intensely feminist mum (heart in the right place, very misguided) insisting that i was oppressed and subconsciously ashamed of my body (i wasn’t) bc i refused to shave my legs but also ‘hid’ them by wearing pants a lot.

shaving is pointless if ur 12 and autistic and have no concept of the social expectation that gives many young girls that final push to start shaving, and pants are great when ur 12 and autistic and obsessed with collecting as many different colours of skinny jeans as possible bc they’re comfy and u love colours.

also their daughter was ANNOYING. she has a baby now tho which is alright bc i do actually think she’s smart as well as annoying.

[canisonicscrewyou]

hey the fact that I seem to have a significantly harder time falling asleep on nighttime cold medicines than anything else is fucked up and evil. actually.

[diari0deglierrori]

“Why have I had a headache that doesn’t go away all day?” *remembers* oh

[agooduser]

I had a drawing of Emmet talking to yukari about trains somewhere. Idk where it went tho. Maybe they’re trying to talk about trains uninterrupted. Or maybe it’s just Emmet giving yukari a lot of train facts. Idk.

[spittingstar]

ytrytr

[i-luvsang]

lightheaded and physically weak after the ap lit exam😭