#Thats why they NEEDED STEVE GONE

[imavikingo]

I said this in tags on another post, but it’s relevant and deserves its own post (I should be reading my usual pre- sleeping fic selection, BUT! I had this revelation -being sleepy is useful once again! -)

They NEEDED Steve to disappear, to be gone. To never care about Bucky anymore. That way they could treat Bucky as they see fit, and that means treating him like shit.

Steve would NEVER accept or allow Bucky to make amends, he would NEVER let the government take care of Bucky or be part of his “rehabilitation” in any way shape or form. That’s why he became Nomad, that’s why Bucky stayed in Wakanda. He would had fight with teeth and nails for Bucky.

“He died already more than once! He was a victim! A prisoner of war. He saved the fucking universe. What the fuck do you mean with amends!”

He became a wanted criminal for that same reason, to not let them have Bucky (nor other people in a fucking watchlist)

They needed Steves relationship with Bucky to become bitter, to be nothing more than a memory.

Steve being in retirement wouldn’t have cut it and…

Bucky was always going to follow Steve, no matter what.

So they needed him to stay alone (or with a companion that didn’t really care as much as Steve, enter Sam)

This way they killed two birds with one stone in Endgame: Reinforcing Steves “love” for Peggy, because “he’s NOT gay, you guys!”, and the partial isolation of Bucky.

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Avengers AU where Thanos never happened.

Chapter 1

Warnings: swearing, angst

After a rough nites sleep, Y/N woke at 6am and took a shower before heading to the kitchen for coffee and breakfast. There was a team meeting at 8am and she knew she needed caffeine to get through it.

She was sitting at the table with her coffee and a bagel when Steve and Sam came in followed by Bucky. She greeted them with a quiet good morning which had Sam pulling her out of her seat for a hug, winking at Bucky who rolled his eyes. Sam's friendship with Y/N had always irritated him and he just knew Sam was going to do everything he could to exacerbate the tension.

"Radar! How you been, baby girl? I'm surprised to see you back here, tired of Madripoor?" Sam laughed as he squeezed her.

Y/N shrugged "Are we really sticking with this Radar thing? I mean I love MASH but just because you're so predictable, Sammy, doesn't mean I'm psychic." She teased "There's too much going in Madripoor to get bored, I'm just doing an old friend a favor but don't plan to be here too long."

"Thank God for small favors." Bucky spat

She felt her stomach drop at his tone but just smirked at Bucky "Just keep your shit together so I can train you a new assistant and get the fuck outta here."

Sam laughed "I have missed you!"

Steve was more reserved, worried about how Bucky was going to deal with this new dynamic "Nice to see you again, Y/N" he gave her a small smile and nod.

Radar grinned "Same to you, Rogers."

Wanda and Nat wandered in chatting with Bruce trailing behind them. Nat stopped dead and put her arm out to stop Wanda "Is that who I think it is? Y/N? You're back?" She tried to temper the excitement over seeing her friend here in the compound after 2 years while picking up on the anger radiating from Bucky. She went to hug her friend "I didn't think I'd ever see you here again. Not that I minded our girl time in Madripoor."

Radar smiled, hugging her and Wanda at the same time "It's good to see you ladies. It's been 6 months since our last get together we'll have to tear up Manhattan when we can schedule it."

She smiled at Bruce and he hugged her "Glad you're back Radar, we've missed you."

A voice came from the hall "I hope you aren't planning a girls nite without me. I missed the last trip." Maria Hill walked into the kitchen and went to give Radar a hug.

Steve and Bucky were staring at the women, slack jawed until Steve spoke up "So you girls have been getting together regularly? How is this the first I'm hearing of this?"

Radar chuckled "Well geez Cap, it's girl time and you aren't invited so why would anyone tell you? Besides there's all kinds of drinking and swearing and general mischief making. Really not your type of party."

Bucky scoffed, glaring at Radar "So Nat, you and Wanda have been getting together with her, even after she- after what she did?" he shook his head "some friends you are." and stomped down the hall.

Radar shook her head and whispered under her breath "Yeah, what I did to him. Pffft."

Nat rubbed her back "You going to be ok working with him again?"

Radar smiled sadly "Yeah, as soon as I get his shit in order, I'll work to find and train my replacement. Then it's back to exciting Madripoor and the Power Brokers trail."

Nat hummed as she considered whether she should say what she was thinking and decided to push ahead "You could try to talk to him, tell him the truth about what happened."

Radar chuckled humorlessly "Right, he's obviously totally open to talking to me, thats why he says something nasty every time we're in the same room. He's no more interested in my side of the story than he was the day it happened. Sorry, Nat, sometimes you can't go home."

Steve poured himself a cup of coffee, wondering what they were talking about before switching to captain mode. "Meeting starts in 30, make sure you're all there on time."

Radar smiled "Don't worry Cap, we're on our way."

The ladies chatted for a few more minutes before heading to the conference room. They all sat together with Radar between Nat and Wanda while Bruce sat next to Nat and Vision walked in with Tony then sat next to Wanda.

Clint was behind them and smiled when he saw her "Radar! Welcome home." He patted her on the shoulder.

Radar looked at her friends on either side of her and smiled sadly at their happiness. She was thrilled they both found good partners but seeing them like that made her so lonely. She'd had no romantic interest since she left the compound. It felt like that part of her heart was broken beyond repair. There had been a couple of flings, a girl has needs, but nothing more than one night.

She had truly believed that Bucky was it and after everything still loved him, even if they couldn't be together.

Sam, Wanda and Nat had kept her up on the team gossip and while learning of Bucky's many women felt like a shot to the chest, she knew that was him acting out and would still do whatever she could to help him. He had worked so hard to make up for what Hydra made him do and his reputation had been trending upward but this last mission and the incident with the photographer made the public and the team's benefactors question him being there.

Radar took a deep breath to calm her mind, reminding herself that she would get him back on the right track, then go back to the wilds of Madripoor and probably never see him again. The thought of that hurt but she shook it off, that's how it had to be.

She jumped when she heard her name.

"Radar! I can't believe it's really you, never thought you'd come back." Nick Fury shouted with a grin on his face.

She smiled "Good to see you too, Nick. Enjoy me while you can because I'm just here to clean up a mess and train the next guy."

Nick chuckled "We'll just have to see if we can find a way to make you move back home permanently."

Radar smile at him sadly, why did everyone but him have to bring up keeping her here. "I don't think that's a good idea but I'm flattered you want me around."

Bucky and Steve walked into the room and Bucky scoffed "If she stays I'm fucking leaving. I'd rather give up my pardon and live the rest of my life on the Raft than anywhere near her."

Radar sighed "Yes Barnes, we get it. You hate me and wish I were dead. If you insist on reminding me every time we're in the same room together, I'll be convinced that you're still obsessed with me." she winked at him.

Bucky was sure steam must be coming out of his ears, she had a lot of nerve fucking with him like that "If you-"

Fury interrupted "Flirt on your own time, Barnes. This isn't speed dating, we have business to take care of."

Bucky sputtered and went to say something but Tony spoke up and interrupted him, not that he had any coherent thoughts to voice so he sat back, glaring at Y/N.

"Now that we're all here. The first order of business is notifying all of you that Radar has returned to help Barnes get organized and train her replacement. Once that's done, we need some excuse to convince her to stay."

Bucky groaned "please, god, no."

Radar shook her head "Don't get yourself in a tizzy Barnes. I told you, that's not happening." She looked at Tony "I told you that I'm leaving once I've trained a competent replacement. I can't stay here permanently and you know that. You all need to let that go cuz it's not happening."

Bucky sighed, relieved that she wasn't planning to stay. He didn't know if he could deal with seeing her all the time so he promised himself he would do everything in his power to speed things along. But somewhere, deep in his subconscious he dreaded the thought of her leaving again. And maybe never seeing her again. He still loved her desperately, the countless women he had gone through in the last 2 years gave him no peace, none of them felt or smelled or sounded like her and he was terrified that he would give in and beg her to take him back if she stayed too long. He was also terrified that he wouldn't and she would get away from him, again.

Bucky badly wanted to touch her, kiss and hold her, make love to her for hours like he used to. He could smell her vanilla body spray, the citrus shampoo & conditioner and the musk that was distinctly her. He could feel his body responding to being in close quarters with her again and was grateful for the table to hide his, ahem reactions.

Thankfully, Nick Fury spoke up "On to business. There's a facility in Belarus that was believed to be abandoned but is showing signs of activity. I need 2 people for recon. Any volunteers?"

Bucky raised his hand "I'm in if I can get out of here while....." he trailed off.

Radar kept her face emotionless. She was starting to think this was a mistake. As if the glares and cold demeanor weren't enough he had to make a crack every chance he had.

Just being near him was torture. She felt an empty ache in her chest and her eyes filled with tears but she refused to let them fall. She swallowed a sob down and whispered in a sing song voice "Obseeesed"

Bucky growled and she felt her panties dampen. His nostrils flared and he sat back in his seat, a death grip on the arms, before he took her on the conference table in front of the whole team.

Sam volunteered to go with him and Bucky groaned, he was almost as difficult to be around as Y/N.

Fury nodded and handed packets to both men "There we go, that wasn't so difficult. Since Sam's assistant isn't here, Radar will prep everything you need and be in the quinjet and in your ears when you go in. I suggest the three of you get some sleep, wheels up at 9 tonight"

Bucky shook his head "What do you mean she'll be in the jet? Starks tech is good enough that she can do it from here. Goddammit I want to be wherever she isn't so send someone else."

Fury glared at him "For a man who's over 100 years old you are acting like a fucking child, Barnes. Grow the fuck up and act like the professional you are supposed to be."

Nick's face turned up into a devious grin "You do realize that if you don't go, she doesn't either right? She's your assistant, your angel. If you had hired assistants without prioritizing their fuckability, you wouldn't be here. It's already decided. Go hit your rack while you can."

Sam chuckled as he left the room "You just can't win Terminator. Maybe the universe wants you crazy kids together."

Bucky sighed, no point in complaining any more. A mission with the two people he would least like to be around. Hopefully the intel was right and it would be a quick in and out. He went to his room to stretch out, knowing that sleep was unlikely.

Steve caught up with him in the hall "I'm just giving you some information and what you do with it is up to you." He lowered his voice "I heard Nat trying to convince Y/N to talk to you, she said something about telling you the truth about what happened that day. Maybe you should hear her out, listen to her side."

Bucky shook his head "What side? There's no side that makes what she did ok so there's not much point. I just want to get through this so she goes on her way."

Steve shook his head "Fine punk, it's your life."

Radar went to the armory to put Sam and Bucky's gear and weapons together and loaded up the quinjet before heading to her room for a couple of hours of sleep, if she could manage that much. She prayed to whatever gods were out there that this mission would be easy and fast.

Chapter 2

[moonriverrise]

Dreams are supposed to be subtle messages from your subconscious, right? Then why the hell did Eddie keep having the same type of dream every single night. The same dream featuring the same boy with chestnut hair, doe eyes, and freckles sprinkled all over.

He didn’t know the boys name, but he’s around Eddie’s age based on looks. His hair is styled in a certain way, swooped to the side almost perfectly. He’s pretty strong looking and pale skinned, and has the most wonderful laugh Eddie has ever heard.

In the dreams that Eddie had, he meets this boy under a tree in a long sunflower field. He’s always there before Eddie, sitting with his back against the trunk of the tree, staring at the sky or simply laying with his eyes shut.

Whenever Eddie came up to him, he was greeted with the same phrase every time, no matter what differences are in the dreams.

“Hello, Sunshine. How are you?”

It's sweet, and it warmed Eddie’s heart in a way he never thought something could. Then Eddie would sit down and they would have conversations about their lives. Because, this boy had a life, probably something Eddie’s brain made up.

“Oh, and Dust thinks he’s so much better than me just because he’s good at Algebra. Who the fuck is good at Algebra?!”

The boy is entertaining, he’s funny, pretty, charismatic. One dream he has, turns a bit different after the greeting, which is said more solemnly. Soon afterwards, the boy asks Eddie something.

“Have you ever kissed a boy before?” He asked. Eddie has paused.

“What do you mean?”

“Uhm…do you ever think you might like boys the way you like girls?” And Eddie had to pause again, because, thats how he had felt. That’s the questions he thought about, the ones he had asked Uncle Wayne.

“All the time.” Eddie responded.

“Is it..normal?” Eddie looked over to the boy, who looks nervous, scared.

“Of course. You can like whoever you want. People who don't think that are stuck up pricks.” Eddie expressed. The boy had laughed, gently. Then laid his head against Eddie’s shoulder, and then shut his eyes.

“I have a friend, you know that one I mentioned, Robbie?” Eddie hummed. “She likes girls, only girls. I want to tell her about this, but I'm afraid. Even though I know she couldn't possibly be mean, I just don't want to be abandoned.” Eddie sighed.

“It’s okay. You just need to take your time with it, talk yourself through it.” Eddie advised.

“Sunshine?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie had paused, once again. He looked over at the boy, who looked up at him in response, through his lashes.

Eddie traced his face with his eyes, placed a gentle hand on his face, rubbed a thumb against the boys skin, who let his eyes blink closed. He leaned into Eddie’s touch, embraced him, his being.

Eddie leaned closer to the boys face. The wind whistled loudly, and birds sang in the background. Eddie let his other hand cup the boys face, and their lips met, slowly.

It was slow, but deep. Gentle, yet hungry. They parted and Eddie stared into the boys eyes, as tears settled in them. A brief flash of panic runs through Eddie’s blood…

The boy laughed, giggled like a birds song. He wiped his eyes and whispered into Eddie’s ear.

“Thank you, for all that you are.”

Eddie’s eyes had fluttered open that morning, and he felt comforted with a sense of kindness and the ghost of tender lips against his own.

Then, Eddie got up, and got dressed, ready to go to work at the cafe down the street from his apartment in Indianapolis.

Dustin walked up to him during his shift, he was wearing a hat from that summer camp he’d gone to a few years back.

“Hey Eddie,” He said.

“Hello, Henderson.” Eddie responded, giving him a look.

“Wow! Don't have to be hostile!” Dustin joked. “You know my buddy i've been meaning to introduce you to?”

“Your babysitter?” Eddie asked while pouring creamer into a cup of coffee.

“Yeah! Steve! He’s here, sitting next to me and Robin over there.” Eddie didn’t follow where he was pointing, instead decided to focus on throwing a portable cup onto the coffee then calling out the order number as he slid it across the counter.

“Alright, hold on dude. Gare! Can you take order for just a second! I'll be back in a minute!” Gareth groaned but begrudgingly walked over to the cash register. “Thank you, I promise to spare your next character in Hellfire.”

“You better, man.” Gareth responded as Eddie walked out to meet Dustin.

They both walked over to the table and Eddie froze entirely when he meets eyes with someone so familiar.

It's the boy from his dreams.

“Okay, Eddie this is Steve. Steve this is Eddie.” Eddie waved a hand in Dustin’s face to shut him up.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” Steve. that was his name. He asked him that, and Eddie nodded slowly.

“I know you from somewhere too,” He responded. Steve’s eyes went a bit wide, and he stood, facing Eddie.

“Sunshine?” Eddie nodded, vigorously.

“Guys…” Eddie shunned Dustin with his hands again.

“Robbie is Robin- the gay friend?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded. “Dust…that’s Henderson?” He nodded again.

“What the hell?-” Robin spoke up. Steve shushed her.

“You look exactly how you did before.” Eddie said to him. Steve smiled.

“You look even brighter in person,”

[2knightt]

hiii I was wondering if u could do smth for the outsiders? Like Darry has a s/o who is the mother figure for the gang and often Johnny n pony call her ma / mom? I js thought it was sooo cute but if not it’s also okay dearrr

darry curtis x motherly!reader

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.swearing

3.probably ooc LMFAO

darry would literally love you. oh my god.

you’re caring???? you help take care of the gang??? you help ponyboy with homework???

you might as well rip his heart out of his chest cause it’s already yours!

the gang loves you, probably even more than darry does!

but to darry, that’s impossible.

you’re heaven sent to him. he truly believes you’re a miracle!

when he’s stressed out, you’re right there to help him destress!

giving him a massage, giving him tea, shit maybe even all of the above if you feel like it.

“jeez dare, stop overworking yourself so much! you’re gonna die some day because of it!”

“no i won’t, been doin’ it for so long i’ve gotten used to it.”

“thats even worse!!”

when you cook for him he will GOBBLE it up.

homie can taste the love you put in and he thinks it makes the food taste 100x better.

but even you have stressful days! but, expect darry to treat you like a princess!

he will not let you leave his bed, he is getting everything you want.

water? done. a book? already in your hand. a fucking car? he’s wasting all his money for you!

he will follow you to hell if you ask him nicely.

he just loves you so much.

when he somehow get’s hurt in rumbles he’s so glad you’re there to patch him up.

but he isn’t glad that he gets an earful from you.

“you know i hate these things. why do you out of all people go darry? you’re better than this.”

he just grumbles because he doesn’t even want to answer anything with a black eye that’s slowly forming on his right eye.

the gang is so thankful that you can patch them up too. they sometimes fight over who you’re gonna help next.

“i’m goin’ after darry!”

“SODA! YOU’VE GONE SECOND FOR LIKE 3 TIMES IN A ROW. IT’S MY TURN!!”

“PISS OFF TWO-BIT.”

“actually it’s my turn.”

“shut the hell up steve.”

“AYE!”

ponyboy’s just happy he has a mother figure in his life again. his mom was definitely his favourite parent, so now that he has someone to replicate that, he’s on the moon.

he only calls you mom or ma in private, he’s too embarrassed to say it with others in the room.

BUT, he definitely lets the mom calling slip accidentally infront of the gang.

“mom, do you need help with the dishes?”

“MOM?!”

“WHAT?!?”

pony just looks down in embarrassment until you chuckle and agree to him helping you. then he’s all smiles and sunshine!

darry is so happy to see this you don’t get it.

darry asks for advice from you to get to know ponyboy better since he rambles on and on about whatever he’s most interested in at the time.

“so uh, about ponyboy…”

“oh! he really likes ‘gone with the wind’, i know you don’t have much time to read so, i can just tell you the important stuff!”

he just nods and stares at you as you talk about the characters, the main plot, and the small details ponyboy’s obsessed with.

he’s taking mental notes and thanking you heavily when you’re finished talking!

“thank you, y/n. really. i appreciate all you do for me.”

“awe! of course, babe. anything for you.”

he’s giggling and blushing at the last sentence

he’s so thankful that you’re there to talk some sense into the gang.

sometimes he sits on the sidelines and just watches.

“DALLAS WINSTON. WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH WERE YOU THINKING PULLING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!”

“I’M SORRY! JESUS.”

dallas just throws his hands in the air in defeat, knowing that no matter how much he apologizes you’ll continue to scold him.

but he listens, he doesn’t do whatever he did for awhile.

darry just chuckles at the sight.

his mom used to scold dallas like that, so seeing you do the same brought back good memories for him.

being around you just reminds him of the ‘good old days’ so when he’s around you his mood immediately lifts.

like he could be yelling at ponyboy to raise his grades and you could walk in and darry would go “AND STUDY MO- oh hey babyyy!!☺️☺️”

everyone’s eternally grateful for you.

ESPECIALLY JOHNNY GOOD LORD.

he goes to you for literally everything.

something bad happened to him?? he’s at your front door! something good happened to him??? he’s right beside you telling you about it!

yeah, he calls you mom too.

he doesn’t mean to though! he just looks up to you so much, he’s always seen you has a mother figure but he never thought he’d actually call you mom!

“hey ma, does my hair look tuff!?”

“huh?”

he’s FROZEN in place. he’s so embarrassed, he’s literally overheating.

you just giggle to yourself and say his hair does infact, look extremely tuff.

he walks away smiling with a little hop when he walks.

the gang fights over your attention with darry.

they ain’t got a good life at home, but if you give them the motherly love they’ve been missing? they will kill someone for you.

darry loves and hates this.

he loves that you and the gang get along. he can’t be with someone the gang doesn’t like, but he hates that they like you so much they talk to you 24/7.

he sometimes just snatches you while you’re talking to someone in the curtis house.

like you could be talking to sodapop and he’ll come behind you and grab you by the waist and carry you into his room.

all that while soda chases him down, yelling nonsense.

“DARRY! I WAS TALKING TO HER.”

“that’s crazy…”

overall, darry would definitely look for a mother-like lover.

he needs it fr🙏

author notes;

1.EVERYONE SHUT UP THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST I CANT

2.when i read dear i lowkey giggled and kicked my feet

3.should i make a taglist??!!???? would literally anyone like to be tagged in my outsiders fics?!!!????

4.i really hope i did this justice LMFAO

5.btw if you’ve DMed me im not ignoring you, im working up the courage to talk to you. im a very nervous person😭😭

may 11th, 2023. 10:18PM.

[stevie-petey]

making grabby hands and kicking my feet like a baby in a high chair at dinner time for more cute steve and bug blurbs im STILL thinking about the dream blurb 😔 i need more please bbg 😔😔😔🤞

because im feelin nice i will feed yall and i wanna elaborate more on why i consider steve bugs twin flame rather than her soulmate <333 (i actually have two angsty blurbs lined up sol this is to compensate for later)

enjoy <3

"did you just steal a brownie?"

steve stares at you, eyes wide, with crumbs all over his face. "no, why would you think that?"

you set the rack of brownies down and glare at the teen. you know hes lying, he knows you know hes lying, and dustin is a witness to it all. looking at your brother, you cross your arms and inhale deeply. "dustin, did steve take a brownie?"

"im not a part of this."

steve lifts his fist for a fist bump, which he accepts with a slight smirk on his face. seeing this, your annoyance only grows. youve spent all day baking brownies for mikes birthday, and you invited steve over to help since hes grown to like baking with you. however, for the last hour now youve been smacking his grubby fucking hands away from the first batch of brownies that were left to cool on the counter.

"steve," you exhale now, close your eyes and count to ten in your head. youre overheating, the kitchen is unbearably hot in the april spring, and your head pounds as it begs for water. trying desperately to cling onto your sanity, you open your eyes and look at the teen. "this is your last chance before i get violent."

dustins smirk quickly slides off his face at your words. he knows you mean them, he knows youll throw a spatula at the boys any second, yet in his panicked scramble to flee the kitchen, dustin notices that steve doesnt even flinch.

"violent, huh?"

your eyes darken and your hand slowly moves toward the spatula that rests against the counter top. dustin sucks in a breath, now out of spatula range, and watches with amazement as steve remains unphased. "you heard me, harrington."

steve notices the spatula now in your hand, and to dustins horror, he chuckles. "oh, like thats gonna hurt me, angel."

"did. you. steal. a. brownie?" you sneer at him, spatula raised and ready to throw.

"i. did. not." steve lies right through his teeth.

"you fucking liar!" a spatula flies through the air and dustin ducks as it collides against steves chest. "you know ive been working all day on them, youre supposed to ask me before taking anything that i bake!"

and there it is, the explosion that dustin had feared. he winces, youre terrifying when you shout, and yet steve only smiles.

"hey, i helped bake them. dont forget that."

dustin swears he sees your eye twitch. "im sorry?"

"apology accepted!" steve jumps over the counter and scoops you into his arms before you or dustin can even blink. he twirls you around, tickles your side as he spins you, and helplessly all you can do is giggle at his menacing attack. "oh, you dont sound so angry now, y/n!"

"s-stop!" youre breathless, and yet still you laugh as steve continues to dance you around the kitchen and tickle your neck with the side of his nose as he buries his face into your hair. you can feel him smile against your neck, and your heart skips a beat.

however, the fucker stole one of mikes brownies.

you shove against steves chest and free yourself from his grasp. you point a finger at him, stern despite your breathlessness from giggling. "no, im still mad at you!"

"im sorry, angel. i really am." steve grabs the finger aimed at his chest and draws you in yet again. he kisses the finger, soft and sweet, and you melt. the anger is gone, all thats left are your flushed cheeks. "i'll make it up to you, i promise."

dustin finds himself fascinated by this dance between the two of you.

it takes only a second before you accept his apology, which shocks dustin. if it were anyone else, youd hold this over their head all day, yet for steve your forgeivness seems to come naturally. "fine, but im making you crack all the eggs this time. my hands smell."

steve smiles at your demand, he agrees to the conditions, and silently the two of you begin prepping for the next batch of brownies.

dustin stands in the kitchen, completely forgotten about now, and hes baffled by whats just happened. hes never seen someone able to simultaneously anger yet maulify you so quickly. if it had been jonathan, you wouldve shaken your head at him and teased him, maybe flick your spatula at him, but the annoyance wouldve simmered for the rest of the day despite the forgiveness. there wouldve been no theatrical yelling, no ignited eyes and flushed cheeks.

but with steve, the anger diminishes with just a smile, a kiss to your finger. your cheeks are still red, your breathing is still slightly labored, and steve looks just as exhilarated as you do.

it strikes dustin, then, that hes never seen someone handle this side of you before.

its like steve knew how to push all the right buttons to get you to yell at him just so he could wrap you in his arms and make you laugh. distantly, dustin wonders if that had been steves plan all along; get you riled up just to leave you breathless with you in his arms to distract you from your exhaustion.

clearing his throat, dustin decides he should leave. youre whispering to steve softly now, more gigglings arising. "im going to my room, you guys are unbearable to be around."

"love you too!" both you and steve shout back at him, a practiced ease to it after doing this for months now.

dustin cant help but smile; his sister has met her match.

[mixsethaddams]

Some trans Eddie soft Steddie pre-relationship fluff for your Sunday. Modern au, college-aged, no kids, no upside down. Warning for blood and periods. Enjoy.

Blood pooled underneath Eddie where he sat.

His mind was working a mile a minute, trying to figure out how to get out of here.

Everyone else around him seemed blissfully unaware of his predicament. No one knew he was staining Steve Harrington’s mother’s white fucking couch a shiny crimson just by existing on top of it.

Eddie’s heart was pounding. He couldn’t move. Of course not. No one knew. He wasn’t out. He had to leave though, he had to figure out a way to run straight through the door without drawing attention to himself and never come back. And he had to do it fast, too, because if the sticky feeling between his legs was anything to go by, the leak would soon creep out from under him and then everyone would be able to see.

Eddie’s eyes started to sting. How could he have been so stupid? All it would have taken was a quick glance at the calendar but nooooo. He read online that six months of treatments would stop his period so he stopped even marking it. Idiot.

“Hey man, you ok?”

Fuck.

Steve was standing in front of him, looking genuinely concerned.

“I, uh, yeah, just…”

Eddie stuttered as he tried to think of an excuse as to why he was the only one left in the living room when everyone else had long since moved to the kitchen.

Steve’s brow furrowed and his eyes trailed down to the fabric of the seat. His eyebrows raised and nononono fuck no.

“Is that-?”

“Steve I can explain I-“

“Don’t move, okay?” said Steve gently. “Just stay there,”

“What?”

“Everybody out,” Steve yelled, walking back to the kitchen. “Someone broke a vase, no second chances, everybody out!”

Eddie watched as the rest of the party goers quickly vacated the house. Steve’s parents were famous for flying off the handle if something got so much as scratched after Steve had friends over, so no one wanted to hang around to get the blame pinned on them.

People shot glances through the living room door at Eddie as they left. Some laughed, some gave looks of sympathy. They all assumed he was the one who broke the non-existant vase.

When everyone was gone, Steve returned to the living room. He was holding a damp towel in one hand and a pair of shorts in the other. He took a small package out of his pocket and handed it to Eddie.

“Dunno if you can use it though, I know some people don’t like them��� Robin leaves a stash here so thats all I have, sorry,”

Eddie stared at the tampon in his hand.

“You can change in the bathroom, I’ll wash your stuff for you,” said Steve, holding out the other items for Eddie to take. “You were planning on staying over with everyone else after the party, right?”

Eddie nodded, dumbfounded and still sitting on the wet seat.

“Cool, there’ll be time for it to dry overnight too then,” said Steve, stepping back so Eddie could stand. “There’s still a ton of pizza in the kitchen. Wanna watch a movie?”

Steve waited expectantly for Eddie to answer, his expression open and light. Eddie wasn’t sure what to do, or say.

“Yeah, uh, I guess?” he said after a pause. “I can just go though, you don’t need to like, do anything for me. I think I ruined your party, right?”

Steve scoffed.

“Ten people who were only here for free beer doesn’t exactly scream best friday night ever,” said Steve. “Eating pizza in peace with a movie sounds way better,”

Eddie clutched the wet towel and shorts. He and Steve were barely friends. Their social circles overlapped in certain places. Met a few times on campus, flirted at the bar, almost kissed one night before Eddie pulled away, too afraid of what might happen if he didn’t.

“We should probably watch it in the other room though,” added Steve, teasing gently.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie rushed to say. “I didn’t mean to… I’ll pay for it to be cleaned I swear,”

Steve waved a hand.

“I’ll tell my parents I had a nosebleed, it’s fine,” said Steve easily. “Go change, I’ll be in the kitchen,”

Eddie hesitated.

“Why are you being so nice about this?” he asked quietly.

Steve just shrugged.

“It’s not a big deal,” said Steve airily. “I mean it, people get periods, doesn’t bother me. You don’t need to be embarrassed about it,”

Eddie bit his lip, his eyes threatening him with tears again.

“Thanks, Steve,” he said, holding in a sob.

“No problem, man,” said Steve with another shrug.

Eddie started to make his way towards the bathroom as Steve returned to the kitchen.

“Oh, Eddie?” called Steve. Eddie turned and seen him standing with his hands in his back pockets. “Is it… Is it cool if I keep flirting with you though?”

Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“You can say no!” Steve hurried to add. “Totally okay if you do, nothing’s changed, pizza and a movie are still like, totally happening, just wanted to ask,”

Eddie couldn’t help but let a small smile break out.

“You can do that,” said Eddie shyly.

“Cool, cool,” said Steve, rocking onto his heels. “I was, hah, I was kind of planning on trying to kiss you tonight too, you know, since we didn’t at the bar that time, but uh, if you don’t want that either then-“

“You can do that too,” said Eddie, cutting him off. “If you’re, you know, cool about… everything…”

Steve’s smile grew wider.

“Cool,” repeated Steve.

[yelenasdiary]

hey, heard you were looking for angst requests? could you do one thats natasha x reader during end game, where natasha still sacrifices herself for the soul stone, but steve is able to bring her back when he returns the stones, and she comes back all excited to see everyone came back and to see reader, just to find out that reader also gave her life by doing the final snap to defeat thanos.

Understanding

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x GN! Reader

Summary: Natasha returns to some news she wasn’t ready for.  

Angst | Light Language Warning | Character Death | Grief | 0.7K | 

AC: I like this idea, it’s different! I hope you enjoy this, sorry it’s kind of short x 

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" Natasha frowned as her eyes scanned the room, but she knew when her eyes reached Clint that something was wrong. Steve cleared his throat as he stepped forward only to be stopped gently by Clint's hand on his shoulder. "I've got this" he whispered before looking at his best friend once more. 

Nobody had a chance to process the events that had taken place, Thanos was dead, a victory for the world but at the price of one of the Avenger's own. The longer the silence filled the room, the more Natasha's mind filled with what she knew was about to come out of Clint's mouth. 

"Nat"

"Don't!" Natasha snapped, trying to fight off the building tears in her eyes. She looked to Steve, "go back! Bring them back!" she demanded but it was too late, they knew for sure it couldn't be done. 

"Nat, it's not that simple" Clint spoke, his words only angering Natasha. 

"What the hell happened?!" Nat asked, biting the inside of her cheek as her mind raced a million miles per second trying to make sense of the situation. Everybody looked at one another, again, the room filled with silence. "Can somebody please just answer the damn question?!" Nat's grief began to show in anger. 

"They did it, Nat. They defeated Thanos with the gauntlet" Clint replied. Natasha's tears broke, she hated to hear it, but she needed too. "W=why did none of you stop them?!" she asked. If anybody had to die, she only wished with was somebody on Thanos's army, not you. 

"They thought you were dead, they weren't thinking straight when you didn't return" Steve inserted himself. 

"I'm here now" 

"We didn't know that we were even able to bring you back….Nat, I tried, I went back for them" Steve paused as Tony gave him a pat on the shoulder as he walked up to Natasha. 

"They did it for you" he looked at her, "every part of their being in that moment was in revenge for you. They're one of the best, we and world will never forget that and what they did. If we could bring them back, best believe me I would do it" 

Natasha couldn't take it, the idea of you being gone and her not being able to see you, hold you, hear your silly jokes that she thought were ridiculous half the time, but they made her laugh anyways. She brushed past Tony, Steve and Clint, leaving the room with her heart behind and her mind full of anger with nobody to take revenge on. 

----

As time moved forward, Natasha could help but feel stuck, stuck in a time that no longer existed. Nothing but dreams and wishes helped Natasha get through the long hours of the day and even longer hours of the night. Just hoping you'd walk through the door or steal one of her sweaters simply because you said they were comfier than your own. 

Natasha had lived a life a lot different to most and somehow, she was always able to make sense of it and how it worked. She's dealt with death her entire life, but your death hurt her just as much as not knowing who her biological mother was. 

The others did their best to help her through this, but they all knew it was better for Natasha to do it herself, they just reminded her they she wasn't alone, and they were always here for her. 

A memorial of you was created by the city of New York, many people would come and lay flowers, cards, stuffed toys and even some of your favorite snacks as a thank you for everything you had done to save the world. It brought a sense of comfort to Natasha knowing that people around the globe were thankful for your sacrifice but still, she just wanted you. 

Yelena dropped everything after the snap and decided to stay at the compound with Natasha, an extra set of eyes to ensure the red headed assassin wasn't going to do anything stupid or fall even deeper into her grief. The two spoke a lot about you, just like everybody else did but Natasha didn't feel like she was bothering Yelena with her memories of you, sometimes she felt the team might get bored of the same stories or it might be too much for them to think about but with Yelena, she never felt any of that. 

Over time, Natasha came to terms with your sacrifice and now lived her life making sure you were never forgotten or ever forgetting the live she had with you and always dreaming of a life that could've been.

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @natasha-belova | @blackwidow-3 | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @observeowl | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @ahintofchaos | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | @pandaemonium111 | @imnotslouching | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @marvel-madnessx | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @natashaswife4125 | @katiemay-025 | @aphrcdtes | @romanoffs-widow | @natsxwife | @maria-403 | @boredandneedfanfics | @wandamaximoffspuppup | @xox-little-troublemaker-xox | @shibugs | 

[missmarveledsblog]

It's just pretend right ? (Bucky Barnes x Reader ) part 8

Summary : kitty tells everyone what the discovery of her findings were ... while she still processing everything a massage leads to some more revelations only this time it was the good kind while peter finds out it not good idea to spy .

warning : hydra being sick fucks but rest is fluffy and cute not proofread so spelling and grammatical errors maybe ?( soz )

previous part

Information as if nothing could get worse or more bizarre than it already  has the fact she had her birth family and adopted family , crush all in one part of her house something even books or films could conjure and it was her real life and now her discovery of why she was so wanted came just as a cherry on the shit sundae that was just her life .  she watched and waited as they all filtered into the space , her family kept to one side of the house while the avengers worked the other side , leaving meant  danger. Head still reeling and her stomach still twisting and turning at the information learned, knowing this was what they had planned in their sick and twisted heads . she could see tony and bruce looking over the computer , both men looking to her as confirmation  a quick nod . she could see it on his the tinge of green on bruce banners neck creeping up as he shook his head and excused himself from the room completely followed by a roar . 

“ ok that is not good  , what is it “ nat eye looking out the window back at her as wanda’s eyes flashed read and both she loki stood like bristled cats . 

“ somebody spit it out “ steve yelled. 

“ they want her to make more enhanced super soldiers whether its of clone of  variety or the other way “ tony sighed as her eyes closed .

“ other way as in ..” bucky asked. “ no even they can’t be that sick “ he snapped. 

“ super soldier factory “ she waved gesturing to her stomach as they caught on . 

“ slightly glad they ripped ours out now “ . 

“ yeah its great victims of the red room you get your reproduction taken while hydra breed you like livestock, their original plan was to make me a super soldier use the gifts i got for their own gain and now their like those horrible shop channel like wait there more like make some soldiers from scratch , since normal people are more like to die or thats there logic “ she sighed sitting down .  “  like i’m going to make hydra great again or some shit you know i was hoping all i had to do this week was pretend bucky was my boyfriend and now i have to fight for my womb “ she waved her hands . 

“ brock rumlow was head of the programme to um you know “tony winced . 

 “ he’s dead right i mean dead dead?”  she looked around . 

“ i thought bucky was dead dead … but i’m sure rumlow is gone “ steve smiled weakly. “ sorry “ . 

“   we know now and they are planning something big so we need to be step ahead , wanda, loki sniff out shield agent we don’t need any leaks ,  when bruce isn’t shade of broccoli , me and science bro’s will dig til we find out exactly what their plan is and how we can stop it “ she stood hands on her hips and head high .  “ aven…” 

“ avenger assemble “ steve clapped . 

“ couldn’t let me do it just once “ she rolled her eyes . 

“ do we tell your family ? “ clint asked. 

“ nah they know” she shrugged nudging her head to the door as vision opened it only for her sibling to fall into the room . 

“ what do we tell fury “  steve asked. 

“ yeah what do we tell fury” the man he stood . 

“ fine sit down i’ll explain and steve if you interrupt me so help me i will feed you to the pigs” she stood .

“ you don’t have pigs” 

“ i’ll feed you to the hulk “ she  stuck her tongue out.  

What seemed to be new regular sitting in her room as they all took different parts of the house to sleep in some of the team stayed on the jets as she sat at her window looking up at sky  waiting on asteroid of something to hit them would be on par with how things were going when she heard a light tapping on her door turning to see bucky’s head poking in . 

“ am i still staying in here?” he asked sort of nervously . 

“ course unless you don’t wanna with steve and sam here “  her eyes went back out to the window. 

“ nah i think i’m good here “ he walked over putting his hands on her shoulders , movements slow at first feeling the weight of everything she been through held in the muscles of her shoulder before he added pressure head head falling back against his stomach eyes closed and soft sigh coming from her lips . “ feel good” he mused. 

“ if you stop i will honestly kill you “she laughed felling the tension melt away under his fingers ,frankly loving his touch on her skin even it was covered by her clothes  she could still feel his touch in a way . “ so what was it you wanted to talk to me about when you came into the room unknow before i puked everything including my stomach up “ she asked almost a whisper  to wrapped up in his fingers massaging  her worries away .

“ oh we don’t have to talk about it you’ve got a lot on at the moment “ he smiled. 

“ nah come on none of that  unless it bad then i don’t think i could take bad now no pressure except a little more to the left … oh god “ she moaned out making him completely freeze and halt what he was doing , brain short circuiting at such a noise spilling from her lips .   

“ hey why’d you stop “  she was looking up her head still leaning on his stomach , he was still standing trying to think of anything that could kill the heat rising in his vein at the very sound out  that was repeating on loop in his head fueling fantasy at a supersonic speed .  “you ok ? “ her head tilted. 

“  erm yes .. yup yeah” he face scrunched he was definitely channeling some pre serum steve and didn’t help the wide  doe eyes she was giving him . 

“ what is it clearly got you  more awkward then tony when he caught park imitating him with shaving foam” she snorted .  

“ ok i think we need to talk but it ok if you got too much going on i just need to get this out of my system before i explode” he move to other side  of her taking one of the pillows at the window placing it on his lap thinking maybe it looked like he was just nervous.. He was but it wasn’t the only thing he was feeling as he looked around the room til his eyes landed on the door .  “ one second “ he stood almost running to lock it before jogging back putting the pillow back on his lap . 

“ ok take deep breathe whatever it is  doesn’t matter if the world is falling around us   i always wanna know what’s bugging you or on your mind “ she took his metal hand slight thankful it was that hand since the other one was now clammy as hell . 

“ ok maybe my head is still scrambled or some shit but something  i’ve picked on during this time together the closeness and all that which isn’t a bad thing definitely not  actually it good more than good actually … oh fucking hell i don’t even think steve was this bad … am i going crazy to think that closeness was leading to kissing “ he rambled as she dropped his hand  making him think he scared her off , read it all wrong or so far gone in thoughts of her he made it all up . 

“ sorry my hands sweat “ she whispered wiping it before taking his hand again . 

“ it’s my metal hand doll “ he chuckled slight relief he didn’t scare her off .  

“ oh ha yeah erm shit … so god why is this so hard i mean jesus y/n … its not you i mean it could be wishful thinking ,  it could be crazy .. i am crazy about you and have been since i yelled at you that day you know how hard it is to keep yelling at someone when your like damn he’s hot … not the point i’m sorry i must be over thinking or wishful thinking i already said that oh my god if steve was this bad i think we might need to start a club” she  stumbled and copied his rambling as he completely was more in love than he could of been . the woman he’s been undisputedly in love with was crazy about him .  Not taking a chance for anymore interruptions or wasting anymore time he cut her off by pressing his lips to hers completely freezing any thought in her brain . she was stunned thinking maybe it all got too much, her brain finally snapped and here she was in the funny farm conjuring this whole thing up .  hallucinations of a lunatic or not she pulled him closer never wanting to leave the moment ever as she kissed him back .  she wanted to stay like that for rest of her days like the sole taste of bucky barnes could keep her sustained in life   , hating her lungs need for oxygen as she pulled back but the look of pure love in his eyes was something she could make an exception for breaking the kiss . but  as time went by she could feel more eyes on her and she turned to see peter parked looking in her window making her fall back on her ass . 

“ they kissed “ he yelled down only  the window to open and her head to pop out seeing the team and sibling  looking up cheering . 

“ wanda catch peeper parker “ was all she said before she blew the little flames coming out like fireflies and burning  the webs making the young man screech like a little girl as he went down . 

“ my sister just tried to kill spiderman” jack paled. 

“  our sister … peeper parker she is so funny “ yelena snorted patting his back . 

“ go to bed, you perverts!! “ she yelled out before closing the window and pulling the blinds . 

“ so you like me ?” she asked smiling widely . 

“  no i don’t like you doll  i love you “ he chuckled pulling her close . 

“ you scared me there asshole , don't say it like that....lucky i love you too “ she smiled diving on to the man and crashing her lips against his ignoring the cheering still going on .

taglist : @vicmc624 @babble28 @scott-loki-barnes @ozwriterchick

[elvain]

marvel's boys: from sidekicks to heroes

i've been seeing a lot of talk about my friend ray's post about the mentor/sidekick relationship in marvel as compared to DC (this post is specifically in regards to the movie portrayal of said relationships). find the post here. the discussion around this post has inspired some thoughts in me, so i thought i'd share them below.

steve and bucky's relationship as mentor/sidekick originates in the golden age as part of the "child sidekick/hero" craze phenomenon at the time. kids wanted to know they could contribute to the war effort in these years, that they could also make a difference when their fathers and brothers went to war. so the child sidekick was invented and at marvel, that was bucky barnes + toro raymond.

but even in the silver age, we maintained a younger sidekick mentality: rick jones, janet van dyne (until she turned out be old enough to marry hank pym), and i would even include flash thompson's brief stint as a fake spider-man in this category. but, yes, all these "sidekick" scenarios eventually winded down. but i don't think it's because marvel decided sidekicks weren't a worthy trend anymore. far from it.

i think DC's interpretation of the mentor/sidekick relationship becomes more paternal/familial whereas marvel's becomes centered around guilt and trauma (rick jones, primarily). i wouldn't say marvel hated sidekicks after the golden age; they just become heroes on their own (peter parker, the original x-men, nova, etc.) rather than relying on a mentor-esque figure. i think DC has clung to the paternal side of this trend more and maintained it - it's worked for them, so great. but marvel i think dived the other way which was also great.

i know about the "spider-man killed teen sidekicks by being both a young person and the main hero" take as well and i have some thoughts on that, too, if you'll bear with me.

i think it isn't that we started hating sidekicks. i think we realized that, after the golden age, the kids weren't just kids anymore. there is a genre of kid who was too young to fight in ww2 but who still dealt with that trauma and that kid was reading these comics, sending in letters, collecting stamps, etc. comic mags in the golden age used to be FULL of things like "if you see any war planes over your city, report it to the nearest military office!" or "you can collect scrap metal and donate it to the war effort, just like timmy here!" and after the events of pearl harbor, every timely comic had a big stamp on them, demanding that we "remember pearl harbour".

now its 1962 and that kid is 15 and he kinda doesn't NEED his dad as much cause he's either dead or he's been away for years fighting in the war. this kid needs to be his own hero. [gestures to peter parker, richard rider, steve rogers even if you count the origin story] like it isn't that spider-man killed the sidekicks - it's that he lost his father figure (ben parker) and now had to be his own hero and i think that would've resonated a LOT with kids of that era who had gone through a similar loss.

i think it shows in rick jones too - the reason rick just never REALLY "sidekicked" is because he was a reflection of the young boys/girls at the time who suddenly had no parents or elder figures bc of the wars. now they had to deal with it on their own and thats why he didn't stick it out with steve and why he became bruce's friend instead of the hulk's sidekick, cause he just didn't need that mentor and that protection anymore after what he (as a representation of kids from the after-war years) had gone through.

it isn't that the sidekicks died. it's that they were forced to grow up.

if you're interested in thoughts like this, i have some posts on my rarely used wordpress blog. The Golden Age: overview: how i started reading the Golden Age comics. The Golden Age: I: characters i thought i knew, but did not. The Golden Age II: think of the women and children!

[garlimcbread]

So this one you don't necessarily need to write a fic for

I was just wondering how well you think the gang can cook + how they would react to others cooking :3

Don't worry for how long this could take

I can always wait for you pookie :>

-💧

RAHHH I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

this is prob not what you meant but yk 😻😻😻

Ponyboy

Can probably only cook a handful of things and probably makes it either too bland or over seasons it

He doesn't cook very often in his defense 💀💀

I feel like he eats normally????

like he doesn't wolf down his food but also doesn't pick at it

says thank you to whoever cooked :3

Sodapop

Can probably cook decently well??

he just doesn't get to very often bc he makes the food all types of colors 💀💀

LOVES food......

is too busy eating to say thank you

STUFFS his mouth full of food and then wonders why he can barely even chew it

Darry

CAN DEF COOK

he's the one doing all the cooking lets be real 💀

DEF picks at his food during dinner

He has to make sure his brothers have enough to eat 😻😻😻

has his little mouse moments in the middle of the night though

says thank you to whoever cooked :3

Johnny

IF YOU LOOK AWAY FROM HIM FOR EVEN 2 SECONDS ALL HIS FOOD IS GONE.

I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT HE WOLFS THAT SHIT DOWN.

Looks like a dog with a bug in its mouth or a chipmunk or smth 💀💀💀

he'd get made fun of if he wasn't Johnny

THIS GUY DEF GETS STARVED OR SMTH AT HOME

He prob doesn't cook like ever (he never got taught how to cook)

VERY polite (even if he's a fucked up little monster when it comes to his food)

Dally

does NOT cook

he CANNOT take care of himself right

wolfs his shit down and then dips

even at restaurants 💀💀

Two-Bit

doesn't cook bc he just gets food from Darry or his mama 💀

EVEN WORSE THAN SODA SOMEHOW????

Im surprised bro hasn't choked on his food and died yet 😭😭

DEF talks with his mouth full

says ty bc he prob gets knocked upside the head if he doesn't 💀

Steve

can probably cook stuff in like the microwave but thats it.......

we all saw him making out with that chocolate cake in the movie.....

like Soda but a little tamer???

prob says ty but only to Darry

(he's a little scared of Darry)

[imavikingo]

Steve Rogers was a lot of things, but a two faced son-of-a-bitch he was not, have some respect for his mother Sarah. Thank you very much.

What he was though, is a liar.

He has lied plenty, more times than he can even remember.

Every time he arrived home with a new bruise before his mom, and stayed in his room until she was gone again he said he was A-ok, only tired.

All the times Bucky asked if he was fine after a fight, and if he was having fun after another rejection by a pretty dame. He said he was just peachy.

When he was on death’s door he said it was nothing.

He lied more than what he was willing to admit (Steve from New Jersey ring a bell?)

Every time people expected him to be the ideal man with a plan, THE Captain America, he just faked a smile and performed how they wanted him to.

Lie, after lie, fake smile after fake smile.

He was so tired of pretending. At least he used to lie for better reasons before, and for himself.

He was what they needed him to be now, and more times than not people didn’t need Steve.

No one seemed to see HIM after being defrosted either: Steven Grant Rogers, the person behind Captain America. They only saw what they wanted to see and expected to hear.

Thats why he didn’t try and be friends with his teammates after the New York incident. Thats why he let them do those shitty “educational videos” for high schoolers.

Thats why he stayed alone for the most part.

(Nick Fury didn’t let him be either, what an asshole).

They needed him, they wanted him. But not really, right? Because Captain America is an ideal, a superhero. It isn’t HIM really.

Steve Rogers is only a man after all, tired, lonely, a sad man out of time.

Who would need HIM?

Thats why he tried to contact Peggy and have a somewhat relationship with her again. He didn’t care if it was based on “what ifs” at this point and that she was old. He needed something, someone from his past, anything at this point that made him feel like Steven Grant Rogers, human again. Maybe she would need him in some way?

Once he knew she couldn’t even remember him for the most part, he went back to square one.

He missed her, the old her. The strong independent woman that she was, and sometimes he lamented the fact he didn’t give her the coordinates in time. Maybe he would have had a good life with her by his side. If he only loved her so…

Maybe he wouldn’t feel like dying in this new scary and terrifying world every single day.

Thats why he came back alive when he saw Bucky again.

Bucky was his home, his everything, always was, always will be. He never thought he would have another chance to be near him again.

So he once again became Steve Rogers. Sure before Buck he was friendly with Sam and he had a cordial relationship with Nat. But after knowing of Bucky’s existence in the present (he’s alive, he’s here) did he became friends with them.

He fought with tooth and nails for Bucky, because he wouldn’t let anyone tear them apart again. Not even the man himself (not matter what Sam said about co-dependency. What did he knew anyways?)

When Buck wanted to stay in cryo Steve wanted to scream and cry in his face. But didn’t, because he knew Bucky needed it, needed to have his own choices and for them to be respected.

So once again he started to lie. He didn’t want to make his friends worry about him after all, he was fine. Bucky was the one that needed all the attention, not him.

Then… The battle of Wakanda happened and…

Never in a million years Steve would have thought he would lie to himself without knowing.But he did, and for literal years until present.

See? Steve didn’t know he was in love with his best friend until he lost him for the sixth fucking time. He knew he loved him, but not that he was in love with him. He didn’t realize, but even then he couldn’t admit it. He was terrified, so he replaced his name with Peggys, even on his mind.

That was safer, more “normal”. He knew people weren’t that homophobic anymore but… he wasn’t a regular Joe, right? No. That would be a disaster.

Even if he didn’t have the mantle of Captain America anymore, he was horrified. He didn’t even want to think about Bucky that way. So he started to lie to himself.

He has lied to everyone else for literal decades, what was lying to himself now?

And well… talking about deluding himself and lying… he couldn’t let himself think that Bucky and Sam were… they weren’t! They could change things, they needed to bring them back. Bring him back.

So they planned and they succeeded, for the most part (Only at the cost of one of his best friends and people he cared about).

Steve was so happy once he knew he had Bucky with him again (he’s fine, he’s alive). But he couldn’t forget about what he now knew about himself. And couldn’t let himself be distracted by any of that, after all there was also a hole Nat and Tony left on his heart, on everyone's hearts and lives (And Wanda wasn't stable anymore, he needed to fix that too).

He wanted to lie again, be comforting to Bucky, treasure him, but he only seemed awkward and cold. He was uncomfortable with his own feelings and on his own skin, and didn’t know what to do to fix things with Buck. (I love you, I'm in love with you please forgive me, I’m sorry).

So he once again fucked things up and tried to bring back Nat, Tony and Vision with him. Only… he didn’t discuss this with anyone else so he had no back up, nor help. No one knew of this plan of his after all.

He was on his own. On a prison cell for what it seems. (For the crimes of creating new alternatives timelines apparently, huh. Who would have thought that fighting and talking with himself from 2012 would lead him here. Trying to bring back the others didn’t help either).

This place was bare of anything recognizable, it was ugly and cold.

He was a man out of time once again.

Bucky probably hated him now, Sam too.

What a joke.

Everything was fucked up

For what they told him a “Skrull” (what is even that?) replaced him and everyone bought it, even Bucky. (And no, no no no... Bucky would notice, he would know!).

And would you believe it, he wasn’t the only fucker that was here too, huh. What a weird place.

So yes, Steve Rogers is a liar and a disaster…

and what a good companion that would be for Loki, the God of mischief, no?

So both tried their best to escape that fucked up prison.

Together.

[cloudinterlude]

There's a certain tone that bleeds into a lot of MCU fanfiction when talking about Steve's defrosting into the new century and it's bothersome. It's like people don't fully understand why he didn't have to be grateful for being in modern times. There's a serious lack of empathy and it always ends up with some other character ranting to Steve about how he needs to suck it up and move on if he wants to get anywhere in life and somehow that motivates Steve to...realize he was the only one being an asshole and learning to love the current world?

Yeah no.

I've read one (1) - and isn't to say other stories I like got it wrong bc I've certainly read others that are also great - but I've read ONE fanfiction that describes Steve's situation perfectly (in such a meaningful way) and it literally blew my mind when I read it because it was so good to ME.

"Ain't no Grave" by spitandvinegar was amazing. Mind you, I'm not a really Stucky shipper in any capacity (like I see the vision but don't feel it yknow?), but I'm a sucker for satisfying Steve characterization so I inhaled this fic. And y'all...this author did his character justice. It's not even a Steve-centric story! Which made me even more amazed (that the author got him so right) and even more annoyed (that so many people get him so wrong and end up bashing him). I quote the paragraph below but I urge you to read the fic if you're interested!

Like listen, listen. Imagine you live in this country, right? And there's a brutal war, and you witness and maybe participate in a horrific amount of violence, and you lose absolutely everyone you care about. Then you end up in this other country, where the culture and ways of doing things are completely foreign to you, and random assholes make fun of you for how you dress and act and talk while you're still coming to grips with the fact that everyone you love is gone and you can never go home again. Meanwhile, everyone around you is like "smile, motherfucker, you're in the Land of Plenty now, where there's a Starbucks on every corner and 500 channels on TV. You should be grateful! Why aren't you acting more grateful?" So you have to pretend to be grateful while you're dying inside. Sound like an traumatized, orphaned refugee? Also sounds like Steve fucking Rogers, Captain Goddamn America. Except that most refugees were part of a community of other people who were going through the same thing. Steve is all alone, the last damn unicorn, if the last unicorn had horrible screaming nightmares about the time when it helped to liberate Buchenwald.

AMAZING RIGHT? It was very satisfying to read the first time around. Even more satisfying that this was coming from Sam's POV which was just a lovely decision.

Anyways!

This little rant isn't even coming from a place of superiority. I know characterization can be difficult, and it's not so much about the quality rather than the fundamental misunderstanding of Steve's character that makes it obvious that either the author doesn't care enough to try to empathize with him, 2) They're using Steve to prop up some other character or 3) They watched his trilogy with their eyes closed and called it a day.

This post has gotten too long so thats all I'll say for now!

[dreamwatch]

Spotify Wrapped Writing Prompt

Look, I was pretty sure someone asked for this, but I can't find the ask and I've written it and I think I'm a little bit in love with it, so sharing anyway.

-----

#66 - Hard To Handle by The Black Crowes

Eddie hates waiting in line. Life is too short (a lesson he learned the hard way) for standing around waiting for things. With the exception of getting gig tickets or getting into those gigs. Both valid reasons to wait.

Maybe less so this gig.

It’s not really his scene, there’s more than a few poseurs in the line, but Kyle likes the band and, as so often is the case with them, Kyle gets what Kyle wants.

Eddie gets… a little less.

He’s at the stage in his life, at the grand old age of twenty four, where he craves companionship over sex. While his friends are still fucking around, literally in some case, Eddie needs to settle. Needs the peace and stability. And he’d never, ever, admit it to anyone, but he needs to be taken care of. The thing is, thats a hard sell in your early twenties. But Kyle got it. Got him. His need to be looked after. The fact that he had scars and trauma and health issues from ‘an accident’. He was okay with all that.

For a while, anyway. Things change though, right?

Eddie earns shitty money, so Kyle pays more of the rent, and he gets the sense more and more that one wrong move, one missed pay check, or fuck, if he lost his job, Kyle would throw him out on the street. What’s love got to do with it? as Tina would say. So he finds himself toeing the line more and more. Doesn’t argue about the stupid shit, let’s Kyle have his way more and more. Just little things.

Little things mount up to be big things, though.

So yeah, he comes to gigs he’s not really into and he sees bands he might not have bothered to, and he listens to music thats okay, but it’s not him, you know? Its like, him adjacent. 

And all of that is why he’s standing outside the Ritz Music Hall in Indianapolis, freezing his balls off, waiting to get in to see The Black Crowes.

Kyle got to talking to some people in the line, and Eddie just smiles and makes out like, yeah my god, great band, like he wouldn’t have been arguing a few years back about how Iron Maiden were clearly the superior artists. He doesn’t have the fight in him for those kind of arguments anymore. So he nods and smiled, hands shoved in the pockets of his shitty old leather jacket, scarf pulled tight around his face. Tight around that scar.

He zones out and he’s looking around, people watching, killing time. Eyes up and down the line as he keeps moving to keep warm. And he spots it, about thirty people ahead of him, that swoop of brown hair that he knows oh so well. 

No fucking way.

He tells Kyle he thinks he’s spotted a friend, won’t be a second, and all that, and then heads down the sidewalk.

“Steve?”

Chestnut Swoop spins to look at him, and he didn’t even need him to, he knew who it was. Knows that hair anywhere. Those shoulders, the way he carries himself, the way he moves. Eddie knows it all.

“Eddie? Holy shit!”

Eddie nearly gets knocked off his feet, Steve lunging toward him and practically pulling him off the ground into a bear hug. He’s kind of lost for a second, before he wraps his own arms around Steve and squeezes back. He smells good, and Eddie recognises his cologne. Eternity for Men. He picked it out for Kyle, and Kyle just scrunched his nose up and walked off. Steve’s wearing it. Something Eddie would have chosen.

Steve pulls back from him but hangs on to his arms, like he’s taking him all in. Eddie’s heart is thundering in his chest.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Actually, scratch that, where the fuck have you been?”

“Here, in Indy… mostly. It’s a long story.” Steve raises an eyebrow but Eddie plows on, doesn’t give him a chance for a follow up question. “What about you man, here to see... “ he points to the marquee up above. 

“Yeah,” answers Steve. “Yeah, there’s a few of us from work and, fuck! Robins here! She’s gone to pee,” Steve looks around, as if Robins pissing in the street, “uh, somewhere. Man she’s gonna lose her shit when she sees you.”

They talk, and Steve introduces his work friends and Eddie can’t help himself, he’s checking them out trying to work out which one is Steve’s girlfriend. Robin screeches “Eddie!” as she runs up the street, practically throws her self at him. He gets the overwhelming urge to cry. He’s feels like an idiot. 

“Eddie? Come on man, we’ll lose our place.”

Kyle comes up behind him, looking mildly pissed. He’s eyeing up Steve’s friends and then his eyes are all over Steve. There’s no way he doesn’t recognise him. Eddie has a photo album that he started putting together in 1986. Pictures of the kids, of Wayne, of Robin and Nancy and Steve. There’s one of the four of them sitting on the porch of Wayne’s new trailer, beers in hand, all cheering at the camera as Wayne took the photograph. Eddie and Steve practically in each others lap. That one is in a frame. Kyle clocked something there straight away. Eddie gave him nothing. Close friend, he said. Kyle huffed, sure. Subject closed.

It was the weirdest thing. And it wasn’t just trauma bonding, or whatever the fuck Robin called it. The trauma got them together, maybe, threw them altogether on a big spin cycle and spat them out, but Eddie and Steve clicked. They’d have clicked without it. So easy to say opposites attract, but they weren’t that different really. Not when you scratched the surface. 

And it wasn’t really anything but it wasn’t really nothing, either. There were late nights under blankets, and well you’re staying over and it’s cold so you may as well climb in the bed, dude, and I can’t sleep wanna go for a drive? and arms thrown around shoulders, and sitting side by side, knees touching. There were pinkies linked, hands over hands, lying in bed crying, foreheads touching. Nothing, but everything.

They had two good summers before Steve said he was moving away. Nothing for him in Hawkins, apparently. Eddie couldn’t hide the hurt, so he ended up burying it in the back of his van with his backpack and his guitar and left town first. Said goodbye to Wayne and just took off. He came back for holidays and birthdays, but if Steve or Robin did the same, Eddie never knew.

And now they’re outside the Ritzy Music Hall in Indianapolis and it’s November and its cold and Kyle is standing there like he wants to start swinging his dick. And Eddie? He just wants to grab Steve by the hand and run. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t run now. He follows.

“Um, I should get back,” he says.

Steve’s brows dip, like he’s confused. “Fuck no! Cut in with us. I’m not letting you out of my sight, dickhead.” Steve laughs but it’s stiff and his eyes don’t really leave Kyle. 

“We’re good, thanks.” Kyle throws his arm over Eddies shoulder, pisses on his territory for all to see and starts to drag him away, but Eddie pulls out from under him.

“Just a second,” says Eddie. Kyle cuts him a look, sharp and beady. Eddie reaches into his pocket, finds a scrap of paper. No pen. Shit.

“Ooh, yes, pen! I have one!” says Robin, and he loves her, and fuck he’s missed her so much. And her hair is different, and she looks so cool. It’s only been three years and he’s missed it all.

He jots his number down and hands the paper over, before snatching it back and adding another.

“Top is mine, or Kyles, I guess,” and he’s so embarrassed at that, “but the bottom one is Waynes. He’d love to hear from you.”

And so its goodbye, and call soon, and he’s back in line with Kyle and Kyle is in a shitty mood now. Declares how he just wanted to enjoy his night, and well apparently Eddie running into the best friends he ever had, the ones he ran away from so they couldn’t hurt him first, well that just fucked Kyle’s night right up. 

They’re in, eventually, and the band come on, and now Eddie at least has noise to drown out the thoughts ticking over in his head. He feels suddenly so empty, so cold. He has work in the morning, and he’s starting early and he could feign any number of ailments at this stage, but there’s this terrible little thought at the back of his mind that he could end up with all his shit thrown out in the street. 

The band play a slow song, one he knows is called Miserable and deep inside he’s laughing at himself. Kyle is swaying away, one step away from getting his lighter out by the look of him, so Eddie taps him on the shoulder and tells him he’s going for a piss.

There’s another line at the bathroom, everyone else jumping out during the slow song, but eventually he’s at the front, gets in an out in less than a minute. He doesn’t want to go back inside. He keeps looking around, hoping he’ll see the swoop, or Robin’s pink streak in her blonde hair, but the place is packed and it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. He fucks off to the bar instead. Another line. Why not?

The song changes, and he knows this one, intimately. It’s an Otis Redding number. He has a really intense memory of his dad singing it for his mom. His dad fucking loved Otis Redding. It punches something inside him and he feels breathless. He gets to the front, orders his Jack and coke, he’s in a go big or go home kind of mood now, and its not until he opens his mouth to order that he tastes blood. He raises his hand and touches his lip. He was chewing it and he didn’t even notice it. 

His mind’s in a fucking pit now, and there’s this song and he just wants to go home, but it’s not even his. Nothing is his. 

There’s a hand tapping on his shoulder and like, a fucking fight is the last thing he wants and the best thing that could happen to him tonight. He turns and gets a face full of Steve Harrington.

“Hey, you okay?” How does he do that? How does he just stay so reasonable, so considerate? Eddie ran away and they see each other for the first time in years and he could be pissed and angry but instead he just makes Eddie want to climb inside him.

“No,” Eddie says, honest for once. And then Steve’s hand is in his and he’s being dragged from the building, and they’re out on the street, and fucking Kyle, he’s going to—

“Hey, Ed, dude look at me.”

“Kyle—”

“Fuck Kyle.”

“What?”

They’re back on the sidewalk, with the smokers and the early leavers, and it’s fucking cold so he can’t hide the shiver. 

Steve rubs his hands up and down the sides of Eddie’s arms, because he remember. The way the cold seeps into Eddie’s bones and never leaves once it’s there. He remembers.

“I said fuck Kyle.”

“I have to…”

“You don’t have to do anything. You look fucking miserable, and I don’t like the way he talks to you. I don’t like the way you shrink when he stands next to you. You used to shine. He doesn’t make you shine.”

And what is he supposed to say to that?

“I’d make you shine.” Steve says that. Steve Harrington says that to Eddie Munson. Eddie stops breathing.

“I…”

“I’ve missed you, Eddie. So fucking much.” Steve looks right at him, eyes bright and wet. 

Eddie can barely answer, his throat tight. He sniffs, just nods like a fool in the middle of the street. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“Let’s go somewhere. Get some food or something.”

“Robin—”

“Robins fine, she’s with her girlfriend.”

And he just nods again, like a dashboard ornament. “Kyle—”

“Do you love him?”

“What?’

Steve laughs. “I said. Do. You. Love. Him?”

Does he?

He loves having someone at home when he is because he hates being alone. He loves having someone lie next to him in bed so that when he wakes up the world feels real. He loves having someone to cook for, someone to go grocery shopping with. Someone to hold when they’re having a bad day, someone to hold him when his world is falling apart. Someone to show his favourite films to, to play his favourite albums to, to share books with. To laugh with. Someone to sit in the drive in and hold hands with. He loves that.

But he doesn’t love Kyle. And Kyle doesn’t love him.

“You always know, don’t you?”

Steve smiles at him, that cocky little smirk of his. Gorgeous.

“I always know.”

Steve takes his hand and they walk together.

Side by side.

[theladybarnes]

CHERRY BOMB: CHAPTER SIX

“You can't spell "America" without "Erica”

▸ summary:  at work things take a turn for the worst, but that’s not all thats in store ▸ characters: jonathan byers, billy hargrove, steve harrington, ft. scoops troop ▸ word count: 6.4k           ▸ warnings: angst, violence, semi-fluff,  ▸ series masterlist

Getting ready for work that afternoon ended up being a slower process.  Especially when the previous night kept replaying in your mind.

 Whether it be because of the conversations, the sex, or just the few hours of sleep you both got. Something felt different with Steve. Being truthful with the boy had always made things more complicated. But being honest and telling him how you felt about something for once actually felt..good.

 Though the whole notion felt terrifying, you couldn’t help but think maybe it would be time to talk to Steve about how you truly felt. 

 Picking up the photostrip from your nightstand. You smile at the picture again feeling like for the first time in a while you knew what you had to do. “Today.” you whispered to yourself. “It’s gonna happen today.”

 *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

 The loud sounds of knocking came from down the hall, making you frown at the sudden noise. Dustin was long gone this morning, and your Aunt had stepped out for some shopping. So who the hell was coming to your house now?

 “Who is it?” you called out, quickly dashing to the front door. You barely peeked an eye through the peephole when the person on the other side called out to you.

 “I need to talk to you!”

 Sighing, you opened up the door, shocked to find your friend of all people on your doorstep. “What the hell are you doing here, Creep?” you asked, turning your wrist over to look at your watch. “You should definitely be in your little red room at work..”

 “I got fired.”

 “Wow,” you mused. “Must have developed some shitty photos.”

 He grimaced at your response before he pushed his way in, moving to sit down over at the couch. Glancing at the time once more, you calculated just how many minutes you had before being late for work. But considering the fact that Jonathan hasn’t looked this stressed out in a while, you’ll take the berating from your coworker Adam.

 “All right.” you sighed, closing the door. “Tell me why you and your sour face got fired.” Plopping down on the seat beside him, you crossed your arms over your chest and looked at him carefully. 

 “Nancy.” he spat. Like the name tasted bitter on his tongue. “She got the both of us fired.”

 “What? How?”

 “Because of the ridiculous rat story that she wouldn’t give up!” Rubbing his hand over his face, he took in a deep breath before he glanced over at you. “She just kept trying to get all this information. Breaking so many rules..”  

 “Well..I mean, there’s been many journalists in the past that have gone through drastic measures to get a good story.” 

 “Yeah? And were most of their sources from a paranoid schizophrenic?”

 Your mouth formed into an ‘o’ unsure of how to even help Nancy with that knowledge. 

 “What’s worse is the family of the source is threatening to take litigation.”

 “Litigation? Against two minors? If anything that’d most likely go against the news–” The answer suddenly came to you. “..That’s why you guys got fired, isn’t it?”

 “It’s part of the reason.” he laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “God, I’m so screwed…I’m so screwed a-and Nancy doesn’t even get it!” Frowning at that, you can’t help but raise a brow, silently asking for him to elaborate on that.

 “She doesn’t understand how even if this was a shitty internship. It was a job! A job that I seriously needed.” Frowning down at his hands, he can’t help but mess around with the end of his tie, angrily tugging on it until he finally reached up to loosen it.

 “I’m sure she is..but you know Nance..she’s driven. It’s what you like about her.”

 “She’s driven, but lately? Careless. I told her so many times to drop this story. How it’d lead her nowhere and even if she did have a hunch, these guys wouldn’t take it.” He held his hand out looking down at the scar that laid out over the palm of his hand. “I get that she’s upset with how they’ve been treating her, and she’s right. They were assholes. But it’s hard to get a job..especially one doing what you like.”

 “I know..” you said softly. “But there’s always a chance to work somewhere else. Find a better place–”

 “Look, I know you’re trying to make sense of this but you and Nancy don’t get it.”

 “..Get what?”

 “What it’s like to be poor!” 

 You leaned back a bit, looking slightly stunned by the outburst. There wasn’t ever a time where you have ever struggled with money. Even now. The job at the pool was mostly to help keep extra pocket money. 

 “I get that I must come off like some boring Oliver Twist story. But this is my life. I’m going to have to work hard for the rest of my life to get to where I need to be. I won’t have my parents to help give me money so I can go to school wherever I want. It’ll be because of me.”

 Biting your lip, you waited for Jonathan to calm down before you slowly reached out and placed a hand on top of his. Giving him a small smile before you finally put together everything you wanted to say.

 “I’m sorry you got fired.” you started. “That must have felt super shitty. Especially since you were relying so much on the money from it.”

 Jonathan let out a breath he had been holding in. Looking even more distraught since spilling out everything. But he stayed quiet, seeming to know you’d continue.

 “You’re right about Nancy and I. We definitely come from a world where we’ll never really have the financial struggle that you’ve come to know.” Tilting your head, you try to be as tactful as you can be about something you’d never understand. “I’ve always seen how hard you worked and it’s something I’ve admired. To save money and change how your life has been right?”

 “..right.” he answered warily.

 “So it’s safe to assume Nancy would want the same thing, wouldn’t she?”

 “But Nancy doesn’t need mon–”

 “I’m not talking about Money.” you interrupted. “Nancy’s goal this summer was to work to become a successful journalist. Or at least as close to one as an intern can get.”

 “Well, yeah.”

 “And we both know that the assholes over at the paper were sort of making her life hell for that, right?”

 “Yeah, but–”

 “So it’s safe to say that sticking around in the office getting lunch and coffee for the guys isn’t really going to improve her efforts in getting any closer to that goal.”

 “Right.”

 “So what aren’t we seeing, Jonathan?” you clapped. “Because it looks like if Nancy didn’t take the initiative to try and uncover a story, then she’d have never progressed in any of the work she wanted to.” His mouth fell open a bit as he tried to stutter an answer. “She even had you working on something other than the mundane photos they had you doing for page six.”

 “But that story wasn’t leading anywhere but our termination!”

 “It was something she had to try! A chance for her to prove herself.”

 “Why does she have to prove anything to those assholes?! She could have worked her way up to an assignment like anyone else.”

 “Because as someone who’s going to have to work in a male dominated industry, standing back and taking the brunt of people’s prejudice doesn’t work when you’re a girl. They don’t see her as a strong person who deserves a chance because she managed to push through their hazing. No, they see her as a thing beneath them. Like an ant under a boot.”

 “Come on.” Jonathan sighed, falling back against the cushion. “T-that’s not how it would have gone.”

 “It would have. Okay?” Glancing at your watch, you tried to ignore the flush of panic when you noticed how long the conversation went. “Come on.” Pulling him up from the couch, you dragged him to the front door, giving him a push outside so that the both of you can head towards your cars. He looked down at the ground, frowning in what you hoped wasn’t further frustration and more so contemplation. But knowing Jonathan, he was going to mull this over for a while.

 “And look, I get that Nancy isn’t being the most considerate with your situation. Which is shitty on her part and I’d love to drive on maple street to beat her up for you but I’m running late.” He looked up at you from his car, watching as you opened up the driver’s door before you turned back to look at him. “I love you, buddy, but at the end of the day there’s one hard truth I need you to accept.” 

 “Which is what?”

 “In this world, you can change being poor. But Nancy can’t change being a girl.”

  By the time you arrive at work, you’re shocked to find that your lateness isn’t the biggest thing going on. 

 “There you are!” 

 Adam, the stupid shift lead, marched out of the front entrance the moment your car pulled in. You barely closed the door when he finally reached you. 

 “Look, sorry I’m late my friend was in need of a serious–“

 “Henderson, I really don’t give a shit about your friend. I need you for something else.” He said quickly, making you stop in place. Giving him a weird look, you’re about to ask what the hell he meant when he grabbed at your hand. Leading you over towards the locker rooms. It’s not until you’re outside the boy’s side that he finally let go.

 “What the hell is going on?” 

 “Billy!” Adam exclaimed. “He’s been a weird asshole lately but today he’s even..weirder.”

 “How?” you frowned, not having really paid attention to Billy lately. Not that you had a problem with that. The less you were involved in his life the better. 

 “He’s been in the lockers for an hour! Just under the showerhead. It’s freaking everyone out!”

 “So tell him to go home. I don’t see why you need me-”

 “You need to go in there and get him out.” Adam said simply. When you opened your mouth to rebut that he held up his hand. “You’re the only girl here who’s not only dated him before, but isn’t afraid to deal with his anger.”

 You want to argue that you have dealt with his anger and it’s never worked out in your end. But you couldn’t exactly go into details of the past few months. “Look, I get that I’m pretty good at telling him off..but I don’t want anything to do with him. It’s been really complicated for us.”

 “I promise this will be the only favor I ask from you.” Pleaded the boy, looking almost nervously at the door. “I’ll even fix your check ins so that it doesn’t show how late you’ve been this week.”

 That did sound promising. But you didn’t really have a problem with that either. “I really don’t like talking to him, Adam.”

 “I know but please. Just do this nice thing for once?”

 Biting your lip, you try and not focus on the choice of words. Having felt like an utter bitch these past few days, you figured one day where you were nice wouldn’t hurt. Pushing your hair back, you nodded at Adam. He let out a relieved breath before he shot you a thumbs up, grabbing the door for you so that you could make your way inside. 

 Once you’re in, he quickly closes the door behind you. Trapping you in the shadowy locker room with nothing but the sound of a shower running. 

 “Billy?” you called out, taking slow calculated steps. While he was your ex boyfriend, you did not want to start your work day seeing Billy naked. “There’s uh some girls outside that need help with getting the sunblock on their back. I think they’re looking for you.”

 Again there’s no response. Making you shiver a bit as you round the corner to the showers. Thankfully he’s still clothed. But the sight of him leaning against the shower with his head hung low is oddly chilling.

 “You know, if you aren’t feeling too hot there’s such a thing as calling out sick.” you said, moving to stand just a few steps away from him. The light sprinkle of water hitting at your feet. When he still didn’t respond, you worried that for a second he might actually be too sick to even move. So you reached out to gently place a hand on his shoulder.

 “Do you need me to call for help?”

 He spun around faster than you could blink, taking long strides towards you until your back hit hard against the tile wall. His cold hands wrapped tight around your throat as he brought his face towards you.

 “You’re the one who’s gonna need help.” he gritted. Glare hard on his face.

 The tightness around your throat had you frozen in place. While it was painful it thankfully wasn’t cutting off any air. But the fact that he was carefully pushing between the line of choking or not ran a chill through you.

 “Let me go.” you demanded calmly, not wanting to anger Billy as well as not show him your fear. “Billy, let me go. NOW.”

 “You must think everyone should listen to you, huh?” he spat, bringing his face in even closer. “Who died and made you the bitch in charge?” 

 “I’d like to think I present pretty good leadership–”

 He gripped tighter at your throat. Angry from your snide remark. “I’m so tired of your goddamn mouth. Always running and pissing me off.” he growled, shaking your neck a bit. The pressure turned stronger, making you feel slightly light headed before he finally let up.

 “Then let me go!” you hissed, trying to claw at his hands now. 

 “Why? So you can go run off and tell your little boyfriend?” he chuckled, pressing his body against yours now. “Oh wait, you aren’t together. Because it’s been months and you’re still single. Well, aside from the nights where I’m sure Harrington needs to get his dick wet.”

 “It’s not like that..”

 “Oh? Because let’s face it. If he actually liked you, he’d have struck up the nerve by now to actually do something about it.” Billy laughed, letting his thumb graze up to rub at the line of your jaw. “But why would he do that? You give it up for him willingly. All so that you can feel for that one minute that someone in this world might actually want you.”

 He moved his hand to grip at your jaw, forcing your gaze to be in line with his. “But no one is ever going to want you.” He said calmly. “No matter who you sleep with, no matter who you flirt with. They’ll only ever want one thing.”

 The tears you’re trying to hold back suddenly spring to your eyes. Making it hard to keep your face hard when all you want to do is break down. “Why are you doing this?” you whimpered, trying to push his hands off you.

 “Because he likes it..He likes it when you’re completely and utterly alone.”

 He?

 Before you could ask what he meant, Billy’s grip got harder, and you slowly started to feel your body rise up from the ground. The lightness returns to your head and makes you feel faint. No matter how hard you kicked or clawed at his hands, he still wouldn’t let go. It wasn’t until there was a banging at the locker room door that Billy suddenly snapped. Eyes wide as he quickly dropped you.

 “Babydoll?” he asked, confused, trying to reach out for you.

 But even with your coughing and pain in your legs, you backed away from him. Not wanting to give him the chance to torture you with his hands and weird words again. “You’re a monster!” you cried out, gripping at the base of your neck.

 “What? I-I don’t understand.”

 “Don’t understand?” you asked, getting up from the cold floor finally. “Let me help you understand.” Placing your hands on his shoulders, you roughly bring up your knee and hit him against the balls. Causing him to keel over and groan in pain. 

 He called out to you, reaching a hand up but you ignored it to rush out of the locker room. The bright sunlight nearly blinded you as you stepped out onto the main pool area. The sounds of people laughing and splashing around were almost taunting as you tried to control your emotions. What would have happened if you had stayed there? Would Billy have actually tried to kill you? 

 “Hey, that took you guys long enough. Did he finally–hey are you okay?” Adam asked, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. The sudden touch from another man today has you recoiling.

 “Don’t touch me!” you rasped, watching as his eyes grew wide. The sound of the doors behind you opening up got your attention quickly and you turned to not give Billy your back as he stepped out.

 Instead of looking remorseful or anything close to that. He looked eerily calm. A long white sleeve tank covered up his body and he gave a simple salute to the man beside you before he stalked off towards his post.

 He was acting as if nothing just happened. Like he didn’t just choke you out in the middle of the goddamn day. Ripping off the fanny pack from your waist, you shoved it hard against Adam’s chest. “I quit!” 

 Not wanting to hear his reply, you dashed off towards the front entrance. Ignoring the weird looks that some of the people around you were giving. It’s not until you’re trying to open up your car door that you see your reflection. The tears in your eyes made your mascara run and the lines around your neck were red. A total mess.

 There was only one person you wanted to see and damn it if you weren’t going to go see him now that you didn’t have a job. 

  By the time you arrive at the mall, it’s late afternoon. You gave yourself a few moments to compose yourself in the car and tried to clean up your appearance. But each time you felt yourself calm down you couldn’t help but flash back to the locker room. Reverting back to feeling so..hopeless.

 Even as you went through the mall, you felt as if you’re drifting through the crowds of people. Not fully there despite driving there yourself. 

 The minute you entered inside Scoops you felt like everyone had their eye on you. And with the way you were covering yourself, you probably did. It felt horrible. You never allowed yourself to feel this low and yet no matter how hard you tried to turn back into your normal self you couldn’t.

 You spot Dustin and Robin sitting at one of the tables with Erica, Lucas’ younger sister. The three of them looked deep in conversation. Turning to go over and join them, you open your mouth to speak when you feel a hand gently placed at the small of your back.

 “Hey, gorgeous.” Steve greeted you. Smile wide and dazzling as ever. He was holding onto a perfectly crafted banana split. “Was wondering if you were gonna–” His words cut off the moment his eyes glanced at your neck. 

Without saying anything, he held up a finger and rushed over to the table to place the ice cream down in front of Erica. Leaning in closely after that to speak to the three of them quietly. Naturally, they all glanced over at you worriedly before nodding their heads. Steve quickly returned to your side. Careful when he reached for your hand.

 “Come with me.”

  The two of you were in the backroom now. You’ve managed to retell all that happened to Steve without bursting into tears, but that didn’t stop a few lingering drops to roll past your cheeks. It’s been a couple of minutes and Steve grew uncharacteristically quiet. Only speaking to ask if he could touch your neck to check it out himself. 

 There was a pained look to his face when he began to analyze it. The tip of his finger following the dark lines over your skin. The frown was so harsh on his face. It made you wish you could reach out to wipe the concern away. 

 “Say something.” you sighed after another minute of silence.

 He pursed his lips, letting his finger gently graze at the base of your neck once more before he finally sat back. “The good news is, I don’t think the bruise will stay that long. It’ll be gnarly for the day but we have ice we can help calm that down with.”

 “And the bad news?”

 “The bad news is, I gotta leave you here.”

 “..Why?”

 “Because I gotta go kill this asshole.”

 He didn’t even give you a chance to react before he quickly stood up from the chair, already making his way towards the swinging door. You managed to quickly pull him back in, dragging him back to the table.

 “Steve, don’t.” you sighed, trying to calm him down. There was a red hue creeping up his face and you swear you’ve never seen Steve quickly turn so angry before. It’s almost weird to see this urgency and defense come for your behalf. The only other times you’ve seen this was last fall when Billy first arrived. It threw you off then and it’s throwing you off now

 “You cannot expect me to just stay here after this asshole hurt you?” he asked. 

 “I know! And I wish I could let you go after him but..”

 “But what? This dickwad thinks he can get away with this again!” Pulling out of your grip he tried for the door again before you moved to stand in front of him, blocking the way. “Please move. You have no idea how much I need to take care of this.”

 You licked your lips, shaking your head at Steve. “I know, and you’re right. But we can’t go to him right now. Not when he’s acting this deranged. Not when I’m not sure what’s going on with him.”

 “Who gives a shit what’s going on with him, trouble? He hurt you!” Moving a hand to cup at the side of your face, he leaned forward to press his forehead against yours. As if he was trying to pull you into him. “He’s hurt you so many times and just walks away freely. I need to get him back.”

 You closed your eyes reveling in the feeling of his closeness. “I need you right now, Steve. I need you here with me..”

 He breathed heavily through his nose, thankfully not letting go of you just yet. “Baby,” he pleaded. Using such a lovely pet name that you’re almost distracted at keeping him in place.. “What about–”

 “We’ll deal with him.” You cut in, keeping the focus on the right things. “I promise…just not now. Let’s just deal with the Russians first.”

 Pulling his head back, he allowed his eyes to scan over your face again. Leaning in after to press a kiss against your forehead, cheek, and then finally at your lips. Bringing a sense of warmth and comfort back inside of you for the first time in hours. 

 Neither one of you seem to care about just where you’re kissing right now. Going as far to wrap your arms around his neck to deepen it. You can’t give up the way his kisses made you feel inside. 

 Steve doesn’t seem to mind either. Allowing you to push the moment further. Only moving his hands down to your hips as he rubbed soothingly. It felt nice to have some sort of control again that helped ground you back to Earth. Something you’re thankful to Steve for.

 You sighed contently, pulling back for air later. Steve chased after your lips for a second before he gave you one last peck. “You promise after this we’ll go deal with him?” he asked softly.

 “Promise. Evil Russians first, then evil ex second.”

 Nodding his head, he pulled away from you a bit. Only stepping back enough so that he could reach down and lace your hand with his. You squeezed at his grip, giving him a small but appreciative smile. 

 “All right. Let’s get to work then.” 

 He leads the way back out, pushing the swinging door open. The two of you are slow as you walk towards the table where the other three were but you can’t help but feel you need it at the moment.

 Glancing at your side, you watched as Steve fought to compose himself again, using his other hand to rub away at the frustration that was slightly still evident on his face. 

 “You know, you’re hot when you’re protective like that.” you smirked, starting to feel a little like yourself again. “You must get that way for all your friends, huh?” 

 Steve sighed, giving you an incredulous look before he squeezed at your hand. Shaking his head. “No, not all my friends.” he said, tilting his head as he looked over you carefully. “Just you.”

 By the time you guys actually joined the others. Erica had agreed to join the group’s plan to get into the storage room. And while you weren’t comfortable with the idea of adding someone else, especially a child, to be in danger. You’d stay quiet in order to finally get this task out of the way, hopefully being the last step needed to get the proof and possibly get out of this mall. 

 Waiting with Robin for Dustin and Steve to join you guys on the roof. You took the chance with a bit of privacy to finally work on fixing up the messes from the other day. 

 “It’s becoming warm again.” You noted, wincing to yourself for such an awkward ice breaker. Beside you Robin pulled the binoculars down from her face, a somewhat shocked expression to your voice. 

 “Uh, yeah. The rain was a total pain.” 

 “Totally, hated how the weather just..kept changing. Like whiplash.” 

 “Whiplash?”

 Sniffing, you rubbed your hands together while looking out over the view. “Yeah, like one day it was nice and fun then the next day it was just a total bitch..The weather really sucks.” You stole a glance over at Robin, noticing her face stay confused. 

 “The weather..”

 “I’m the weather, Robin.”

 “Oh!”

 Chuckling a bit, you shook your head, pulling back so that you could face her better. Motioning for her to do the same so you could have her full attention.

 “I’m sorry about the other night.” you said softly. “When I’m upset and scared I tend to react harshly.” Some of the guilt from the other night began to creep back in, but you pushed that feeling aside to get through with your apology. “I shouldn’t have called you an idiot. You’re not. In fact, I think you’re one of the few smartest people I know. I just became desperate for you to understand how serious this was to me. I totally get if you hate me now.”

 Robin sat silently for a second. Fiddling with the object in her hands until she finally set it down at her side. “It’s water under the bridge.” she answered finally.

 “..Seriously?” you asked, shocked to have her so easily forgive you. 

 “Yup!”

 “But I was such a bitch to you.”

 “Were you really a bitch for trying to convince your younger cousin and I not to go after evil Russians?” she snorted, reaching up to push a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I mean, even if I still want to go through with all this, I totally get how insane it is.”

 “Still,” you frowned. “I didn’t have to stoop so low.”

 “From what Steve told us that night, you were going pretty easy on us.”

 Your mouth flopped a bit, unsure what Steve could have even said to them after you left. But considering the two big fights you’ve had with Steve in the past, you’re sure he had some examples for them. 

 “Besides,” Robin said looking down at her hands. “I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

 “Really?” 

 She smiled a bit, almost as if she was thinking of something fondly. “You’re one of the few people in Hawkins that treats me like I’m normal.” Her blue eyes glanced at you before she shyly ducked her gaze back over the balcony again. 

 “Robin, you are normal.” You were unsure why there’d be a reason for her to feel so unordinary. Sure, she wasn’t a part of the crowd of ‘popular’ students. But there were people who knew her, talked to her, and treated them like a normal peer. What made her feel so out of place?

“I don’t really feel that way.” she said honestly. “And sometimes I think people agree.” She glanced over to the rooftop door. Almost like she was expecting someone to come through. For  a second you wondered why she would even care what the people here thought. But the longer she stared, the more you began to wonder. 

 Was it the people she was worried about, or was it..

 “Steve!” she whispered, waving over to the boy. He quickly came through the door with Dustin in tow. Your younger cousin had barely spoken to you since the other night and even today he seemed to barely grunt a response to you. 

 Surprisingly, he still moved to sit by your side. Letting Steve slip in to kneel between you and Robin. 

 “You guys good?” Steve asked once he settled in, a gentle hand placed on your back. You give him a small nod before pointing over towards the other building.

 “Are you guys sure Erica won’t get stuck?”

 “The kid said she could squeeze in. She has the other walkie ready to call us in if she needs help.” He shrugged, sounding a little hesitant. “Gonna have to give her all the damn ice cream at this point.” 

 “She’ll get through. She’s a Sinclair.” Dustin chimed in, adjusting his walkie. “They’re stubborn but they sure as hell come through in the end.” Once he was done with his inspections, he passed it over to Robin before moving in to look through with the binoculars. 

 “Erica, do you copy?” Robin asked. There’s a pop in the static before you hear a response.

 “Mm-hmm. I copy…You nerds in position or what?”

 Robin pursed her lips a bit before pressing the talk button again. “Yeah, we’re in position. It’s all quiet here, so you’ve got the green light.”

 “Green light, roger that. Commence Operation Child Endangerment.” 

 You can’t help but snort a bit, appreciating the humor from this child. Steve shook his head while Robin continued to grow more frustrated, pressing into the talk button again. “Can we maybe not call it that?”

“See you on the other side.”

 Robin glanced over between you and Steve. Looking suddenly a little bit nervous for the first time. You can’t help but do a quick math count. “Shit” you muttered after your short thought. “We’re screwed.” 

 Steve leaned over, curiosity on his face. “What’s wrong?”

 “Child endangerment.” you sighed. “Level six felony. It’d be six years.” He frowned at that, looking a little in pain before he shook his head. Pointing to Dustin beside you.

 “There’s two kids.”

 “..Twelve years.”

 Robin’s face paled a bit as she gripped onto the walkie tighter. “Shit.”

  It’s a long couple of minutes of waiting before you hear from Eric again.

 “All right, nerds. I’m there.” 

 “Do you– do you see anything?”

 “Yeah, I see those boring boxes you’re so excited about.” Her tone was tired and sarcastic, making you chuckle a bit to yourself. Where was Lucas hiding this girl? She’s hilarious. You thought before leaning closer to hear better.

 “Any guards?”

 “Negative.” 

 “Booby traps?”

 “If I could see them, they’d be pretty shit traps, wouldn’t they?”

 You bite down on your lip, reminding yourself that while Erica’s quips were amusing, she was also possibly in immediate danger at any point. 

 “Thank you for that.” Robin replied dryly. 

 The next couple of seconds go again with no response. Making you wonder if she was actually able to get through from the vent. Just when you were about to ask Robin to call out for a response, her voice picked up again.

 “I’m in.”

 Steve’s growing worry was finally given a small relief. “Oh, God.” he groaned, moving to cover up his face with his hands. He scratched away some tension from his head. Gently, you laid a hand on his back, rubbing it soothingly when the doors burst open from below.

 Erica slowly emerged out, sass in a bit of her step as she finally found her gaze upon you four on the roof.

 “Free ice cream. FOR. LIFE.”

  The rest of you don’t waste time in making your way down below. Having to move quickly before anyone left in the mall catches you guys still around. It’s a bit crowded in the small room, but at this point the curiosity for everyone is too high to be left outside waiting.

 Dustin passed Steve his Swiss army knife for the tape that covered the top of the box. With a quick cut, the inside of the cardboard box was finally revealed. Instead of packing styrofoam or anything else that a restaurant would have, you guys are presented with a metal box.

 Steve gripped onto the handle, giving it a hard turn to its side. Causing a hiss of air to come out from the box once Steve pulled away the lid. All of you leaned forward to peek inside, shocked to find what was inside.

 “That’s definitely not Chinese food.” Steve said, breaking the group’s silence. He dropped the lid on the side, making a reach for one of the canisters inside before he glanced at the four of you. “Uh, maybe you guys should, you know, stand back.”

 Immediately all the girls take a large step back. Just as hesitant as Steve was at what he might pull out. Dustin on the other hand stuck close to his side. 

 “No.” 

 “Just-..just step back, okay?”

 “No.” Dustin said again.

 “Step back. Seriously.”

 “No! No!” He cried out finally. “If you die, I die.”

 “Jesus Christ.” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. You couldn’t help but gape at the dramatics coming from your cousin of all people. But considering how close he had gotten to Steve over these past few months, it made a little sense. 

 Steve seemed to share the same sentiments as he looked over at Dustin. Only giving you a slight shrug before he continued on with it. “Okay..”

 The container made a clicking noise when he turned the handle on one of the canisters. The fog seeped out of the box a little more before revealing what Steve pulled out. “What the hell?” Steve muttered.

 “What is that?” Robin added.

 “It’s..goo?” you asked, taking a step closer to inspect the object better. If you didn’t know any better, you would have guessed that these evil Russians were hoarding up neon hair gel in their food deliveries. 

 Suddenly the room rumbled, shaking the entire space. The eerie familiar feeling you get when you’re in the elevator. But that couldn’t be, you guys were just in the loading docks..

 “Was that just me, or did the room move?” Dustin asked, unfortunately confirming your suspicion. Erica only added to the worry when she whispered about booby traps. 

 As if on cue, there began another rumble to the room and you suddenly felt every hair on your body stand up.

 “You know what? Let’s just grab that and go.” Robin said, grabbing the canister from Steve’s hands to put away in Erica’s backpack.

 “Agreed, let’s get the hell out of here.” Turning to the buttons by the doorway, you pushed on the blue ‘DOOR OPEN’ and glanced at the doors. Waiting for them to reveal the outside again. But nothing happened. Dustin, noticing right away, joined you at your side, doing the same thing.

 'Which one do we press, Erica?’

 “Just press the damn button, nerd.”

 “Which one? I’m pressing the button, okay?”

 “Press ‘open door’!”

 “We’re pressing ‘open door’!”

At this point you’re practically punching at the button with your finger when Steve appeared. Pushing your hand away gently as he urged for another method. But Dustin in his panic did stop, trying to press the door Erica had said. 

 “Press the other button!”

 “Guys get out of the way so she can push the button!” Robin said from the back. 

 The two continued to push against all the buttons and you panicked at the amount of things being hit without any change to the room. “Do you guys think pushing everything is really what we want to do?” you frowned, pushing at the open door again.

 “Are you serious right now? That’s not working.” Steve argued, pressing all the other buttons again. Dustin kept sneaking his hand in, causing the other boy to grow frustrated as he started slapping at the buttons.

 Everyone is too busy arguing with each other that you all miss the final hit against the lock box that finally set the room off. The metal gears turned and a large red door began to close down over the double doors you guys had originally entered in.

 There’s a second of silence before suddenly the room began to drop.

 Erica and Robin instantly burst out into screams and all of you struggled to balance yourselves. You reached out to hold onto Dustin, feeling your legs turn into jelly while the air quickly left your lungs.

 “Steve!” you gasped, pointing over to the windows of the room. He followed to where you were pointing, eyes wide at the sight. Just like in an elevator, the walls surrounding the room began to blur past as you guys descended down into the earth at a rapid speed.

 “Oh, shit.”

a/n: this is so messy!!! but i hope you guys enjoyed it

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗ 𝖩𝖺𝗇𝗎𝖺𝗋𝗒 ₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗

I hope everyone has had an amazing start to the new year, I know it can be tough and January lowkey sucks but it will get better! 2022 for me was a long year of recovery and somehow I'm kinda clean (although I still don't know how to feel about it, especially when people comment on how much 'better' I'm doing but I'm taking it a day at a time.) Anyways, I kinda feel like 2023 might be a good-ish year so I hope it is for you too <3

ps. I know this list is early but I'm like a toddler who gets to excited to wait for anything and ruins it, so here is the early but one of my favourite rec lists to make. (idk why but it was particularly fun this month lol)

this year I'm also gonna try putting out some decent content starting with my fics (available here). I'm currently only writing for Steve and Eddie from Stranger things but in the future I may try writing for other fandoms (the Xavier Thorpe fic was a self indulgent piece idk if I'll carry on writing for him though), I'd really appreciate anyone to give feedback and reblog cause it keeps me motivated (pls I'm actually begging for some attention lmao my last two fics have got like zero attention and I genuinely don't know if I'm a shit writer or something else lmao, pls even if you hate it lmk! I'll take anything atp).

anyways... ignore my rambles as always, the last piece of news im sharing is my new series I'm starting soon! where I'll be diving into the history of metal and what it means to the community etc so if thats something you'd be interested in you are more than welcome to join the army of maggots I've got going on (I say an army but I'm pretty sure it's just me lol).

[please respect writers terms, I am not responsible for what kind of content you consume but please be aware that minors will be blocked if they chose to interact with 18+ content.]

more fic recommendations available here

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖲𝗍𝖾𝗏𝖾 𝖧𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗍𝗈𝗇 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The mixtape detectives by @babyrunsforfanfic

Want me like I want you by @beezywriting

Under the covers by @stevesbabysittingservice

Hey Steven by @munsonsreputation

If you loved me (why’d you leave me?) by @1986harrington

When we are together by @foreverromanticising

I’m never going to dance again, the way I danced with you by @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

Love as sweet as honey (and lover I’m hungry) by @stevebabey

Time after time by @musingginger

Sharing secrets by @livingintheupsidedown

A virtual romance (new series!) by @justmeinadaze

Tis the damn season (series!) by @katyswrites

Bad at love by @loveshotzz

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖤𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖾 𝖬𝗎𝗇𝗌𝗈𝗇 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Need you tonight by @sebuckyverse

Flipped by @ashwhowrites

Bottom of the bottle by @fanficsgal0re

New sensation by @darkdarkroom

Fooled round & fell in love (series!) by @bimbobaggins69

Lavander haze by @munsonsreputation

I think I’ve loved you forever by @cinemaquinn

Something new by @newlips

In the middle of nowhere (ongoing series!) by @sweetpeapod

Mine and yours by @muertawrites

Morning coffee by @jamdoughnutmagician

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖡𝗎𝖼𝗄𝗒 𝖡𝖺𝗋𝗇𝖾𝗌 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Side effect by @delaber

cherry blossom by @buckycuddlebuddy

Everyone’s watching him (but he’s looking at her) @writing-for-marvel

Shouldn’t have gone by @imyourbratzdoll

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖫𝗈𝗄𝗂 𝖫𝖺𝗎𝖿𝖾𝗒𝗌𝗈𝗇 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Chocolate & promises by @michelleleewise

lost prince (ongoing series!) by @xxntiimulti

For better or for worse (ongoing series!) by @wheredafandomat

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖷𝖺𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗋 𝖳𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗉𝖾 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Flower power by @pythonees

Siren song by @wintervalewritersecond

Rumors by @yourmidnightlover

Kiss me and shut up by @elysianrogers

Invisible string by @mntalbrakdown

Foxglove to adorne thy dells (ongoing series!) by @nevermoremagic

Something that we’re not by @profound-imagination

Artists collide by @shesluxurious

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚｡˚ ⋆ -- 𝖱𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝖢𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗈𝗇 -- ⋆ ˚｡⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

So gorgeous it actually hurts by @folkloreslovechild

[alittlebitofloveliness]

3, 4, 7, 9 (outsiders asks)

EEEEE thanks for the ask anon!

3. Favourite character outside the main seven

Tim Shepard! I feel like Hinton threw mentions of him and Curly in there as a sort of foil to Darry and Ponyboy's dynamic but I have SOOOO many headcanons about him (and Curly and Angela too).

PS. The only reason I said Tim and not Angela is because she's not technically mentioned in the book. Angela is my favourite outsiders universe character ever and since theres not enough content for her I've decided I have to make my own lmao

4. Rank the main seven

OOF omg ok this was a hard one

First, Steve. Probably seems really random and unpopular but I feel like theres so much depth to his character that there just wasn't enough book to provide. We know he has a rough background and a soft spot for Sodapop and that Ponyboy's narration of him is biased since he thinks Steve doesn't like him. Tbh tho I think Steve really does care about Ponyboy in his own way, it's just hard for Ponyboy (and probably a lot of younger readers to see). My love of Steve was kind of an evolution but I can firmly say he's my favourite out of the gang atp.

Second, Darry. My man was a 20 y/o whose parent died who had to give up on his dreams to raise two younger brothers who he loved so much the feelings bled off the page. He NEVER should have hit ponyboy and it was such an out of character moment for him- AS IT WAS INTENDED TO BE. I have a LOT of thoughts about him but as someone who has grown that I'm almost the same age as him I cant IMAGINE having gone through what he went through and dealt with it as well as he did. My man needs more recognition.

Third, Ponyboy. He's such a dumbass and a weirdo but so reltable and sarcastic and profound. He's a main character who never gets in the way of other main characters and he's so quintessentially 13 that reading his story when I was that age fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and I haven't been the same since.

Fourth, Johnny. He was the gangs favourite for a reason and such a good friend to Ponyboy. I feel like the fandom infantilizes him sometimes, which is partially due to Ponyboy's narration, but the book makes it clear he's a really tough kid who looks like trouble but isn't. He's such a prime example of how the lottery of birth can fuck up someone's life. He is so tragic to me because he never had a chance.

Fifth, Sodapop. I know he's a fan favourite and I'm not saying I don't like him, but he's just kind of...boring? imo. Like, not much there, and not as much depth as some of the other characters. maybe its because we see a lot more of him in Ponyboy's thoughts but I'm not curious about him the way I am about some of the others.

Sixth, Dally. He's not likeable- but he is, as johnny said, gallant. I know it was by design that he's mysterious but I wish we got more backstory for him. I've just never connected to him the way I connected to other characters.

Seventh, Two-Bit. Again, probably unpopular and I know he's a fandom favourite but to me his issues have always jumped out more than his redeeming qualities. His alcoholism is a hallmark of his character, and i think at one point Ponyboy mentions he's a dead weight on his family's finances. He also has a little sister that's Ponyboy's age thats mentioned like once? I just feel like he's kind of a deadbeat for his family if that makes sense.

7. Favourite non romantic relationships. i could (and probably should atp, whoops this got long) make a whole other post about this but:

darry and ponyboy's relationship

johnny and ponyboy's friendship

steve and sodapop's frienship

johnny and dally's relationship

9. Favourite scene/moment from the book?

When Ponyboy runs directly into Darry's arms as soon as he sees him at the hospital. Gets me right in the feels every time.

Bonus: the moment when that guy tells Ponyboy he shoudn't smoke and he's all confused, like why? theres not a no smoking sign? and the dude is just like uh? but youre a kid? it's just such a stark reminder that while Ponyboy has grown up sheltered in some ways he has absolutely not been in others and his background is really rough and agh it gets me every time its such a clever scene.

ANYWAY this got longer than i meant it to, whoops. Thanks ever so much for the ask :)