#old!steve is a skrull

[imavikingo]

[imposterogers]

like I know it’s been five years but like. it’s NOT too late to reveal in a post credit scene that old man steve is a skrull and the real steve rogers has been incapacitated. perhaps in the thunderbolt film. perhaps someone asks about steve n bucky grimace laughs, thinking of the old man who he hasn’t seen in years who left him w his trauma alone (another man out of time) when he needed his best friend, and says “he’s fine.” cut to nomad steve trapped in the cosmic cube like in secret empire when he’s replaced by a hydra agent. ITS NOT TOO LATE!!!

[novelmonger]

Why Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter are perfect for each other*

*With caveats: 1) a large portion of Sharon's personality and backstory I'll reference are my own creation, because the MCU keeps on forgetting she exists; 2) F&WS!Sharon is not the real Sharon but is a Skrull or comes from another dimension or something; and 3) the Steve who dances with Peggy at the end of Endgame is not the Steve I'm talking about. If any of this is confusing, please feel free to ask!

For starters, they're clearly attracted to each other, and it seems obvious they're interested in pursuing their relationship, which is more than I can say for some people that get shipped with Steve.

While attracted to each other, they don't let that get in the way of doing their job or fulfilling their responsibilities.

They have the same/similar sense of morals/justice (noticing something fishy about S.H.I.E.L.D. and standing up against it; breaking the law to save an innocent man's life).

The kind of person Steve needs in a partner (romantic or otherwise) is someone with compassion who will also challenge him when needed and not just crumble when the going gets tough. Sharon is usually gentle and kind, but she also doesn't take any crap and isn't afraid to speak up when it's necessary.

Steve has a tendency to not ask for help and try to do everything himself, because there have been so many times when there was no one to turn to, or he felt he had to prove he could do it when no one said he could. But Sharon doesn't wait to be asked for help. If she sees something that needs to be done, she takes the initiative and dives right in. That will be so important to their relationship, because Sharon won't let Steve do everything alone.

Steve's love language is Acts of Service, and Sharon has always struck me as the kind of person who would step up and help out as soon as she sees a need. Sharon's love language is Words of Affirmation, and Steve is surprisingly good at finding the right words to say to both inspire, and make someone feel good about themselves.

Sharon always interacts with Steve as Steve first, Captain America second. She doesn't fawn over him or expect him to be perfect, she doesn't pat herself on the back for managing to catch the eye of the world's first superhero. She just sees him for what he is: a man. That's got to be pretty rare for Steve, and would make her even more attractive to him.

What Sharon needs most in a partner is someone she can trust. Someone she can let her guard down around, who will be honest with her so they don't have to play guessing games. And Steve is as honest as they come. He's bad at lying, and he's always just himself around her, so any problems that arise are out in the open and they can work through them together.

Steve's first love was Peggy, and Sharon was really close to Peggy. Not only would she have heard lots of stories of what Steve is like, but she also would have been influenced by Peggy. Peggy is one of Sharon's most important role models, so the person that she wants to become (and is already well on her way to becoming) is exactly the sort of person Steve is looking for in the first place. No, they're not the same, and I don't think Steve would ever expect her to be. But the strength and kindness he admired in Peggy is also present in Sharon.

Steve and Sharon are both the kind of people who, once they make a commitment to someone, will not abandon them. This is perhaps the most important thing for a couple, because at the end of the day, no matter how compatible you are, no matter how "in love" you are or how much "chemistry" you have, what matters when the rubber meets the road is commitment. And Steve and Sharon are the kind of people who will put in the effort to make it work even when it's hard, even when other things change. Even when they both grow old and ugly and weak, they will be there for each other.

[buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger]

Okay but Bucky being friends with the Space-Based heroes

Carol showing Bucky the Skrull Memory band and letting him use it to recover memories of his family and childhood that he thought HYDRA had well and truly beaten out of him

Mantis using her powers to help Bucky sleep, like she used to with Ego, and her being happy that she can help a good person find some peace this time

Rocket understanding what Bucky has been through better than most. When he's working on the ship or weapons or something Bucky comes and sits with him and he explains what he's doing and why and Bucky is super interested and always asks a ton of questions

Kraglin taking Bucky to Nowhere and showing him around and Bucky being enraptured by it because he's a giant fuckin nerd

Cosmo absolutely loving playing with Bucky, he's also the only one who speaks Russian to her

In a similar vein, Goose absolutely ADORING Bucky and maybe sending one of her kittens with him so we can get Flerkitten!Alpine

Nebula and Bucky talking best practice for prosthetic maintenance, and bonding over the fact they've both lost their sisters, one to old age and one to... *Gestures to IW*, as well as the fact that, like Rocket, she gets what he's been through better than most

Drax and Bucky sparring and Bucky realizing he's one of the few people he can spar with and not worry about hurting

Thor teaching Bucky about the 9 worlds like he did Jane in Thor 1 and Bucky being absolutely fascinated also Bucky is ABSOLUTELY worthy of picking up Mjolnir. He doesn't try because he doesn't think he is, but Thor knows. Just like he did with Steve.

Valkyrie and Bucky being bi disaster squad drinking buddies. They hang out and drink Asgardian mead (Bucky is shocked when it gets him drunk for the first time in 70 years), talking about the people they've lost, doing what they can to keep their memories alive. She lets him ride Warsong once and Bucky is freaked out because "god dammit Val I've never ridden a normal horse before let alone a fucking flying one". He figures it out enough to have fun eventually

Star-Lord making Bucky a playlist of all of the best music that he missed. He also ABSOLUTELY makes Bucky watch Footloose and though he refuses to admit it to Peter he ended up really liking it

Bucky loving being around Phylla when he hangs with the Guardians and Love when he's with Thor because they remind him of his sister when she was young

I know there are other space based heroes but these were the ones I could think of, I just like the idea of Bucky having a bunch of friends and being a giant nerd with them 🥺🥹

[stevefightmerogerss]

if the mcu had a single braincell between their writers they could have made kang trap steve rogers in a endless time loop that he couldn't escape from & then reveal the old endgame steve as a skrull so secret invasion would have the buildup it needs but noooo they had to no homo steve to the point that it ruined not only his character, but several characters, and caused a huge plot hole that doesn't make any sense

[mygaymindpalace]

I REALLY DON'T want to find out that some of our favorites have been Skrulls for years. I don't want the last appearances of Maria Hill to come out as not actually her. That's not fair. Or that Rhodey's been a Skrull since pre-Endgame. I love Marvel but that's too big a surprise. If they do that, that's a fuck up... It's just not fair to fans that have loved these characters and so many others (if they're Skrulls, who else is?? Strange??? Old Man Steve??? Hank Pym? Laura Barton????). We've gone through adventures and cared for these like fictional people. Don't fuck with what they mean to hundreds of thousands of people. Yeah it's fantasy but that's not to say it doesn't mean anything

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 5 - FLUFF

Lay Thee Down by Arukou

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 2,702 Tags: Insomnia, Team as Family, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Tony would love to sleep. He really would. But his body's just not letting him.

Reasons why I love it: The whole team coming together to help Tony with his insomnia is just really lovely to see. They're all so soft for him, it's adorable. My heart really aches for Tony here, poor thing. Give this one a read, it's amazing!

All These Things I've Said by Amuly

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 5,839 Tags: Language Barrier, Dirty Talk, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: When Tony starts talking in a language Steve can't understand--the language of science--Steve figures he'll retaliate with a little foreign language knowledge of his own. Only once he starts speaking French around Tony, Steve finds that sometimes it's easier to say what he really wants to say to Tony in a language he can't understand. Good thing Tony doesn't know French.

Reasons why I love it: Okay, so – I have a huge thing for the Avengers speaking different languages, and this hits all of those buttons. Plus, the whole premise of Steve wanting to tell Tony what he really thinks (and how he feels) but only ever saying it in French is amazing. I love this fic to pieces, and I bet you will too!

Just For Today by missbecky

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 9,078 Tags: PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship

Summary: After Steve nearly dies beneath New York Harbor during a battle, Tony shares his own fears of drowning with him. Determined to find a way to put the fear behind them, Steve comes up with an idea. Just for today, they aren't going to be Iron Man and Captain America. Just for today, they aren't even going to be Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. Today, they are just going to be Tony and Steve.

Reasons why I love it: They're so cute in this! I love the action in the beginning and how it recognizes the similarities in their trauma. And the way they seek comfort in each other just warms my heart. The last few paragraphs never fail to put a smile on my face. So yeah, please go and read this one, it's fantastic!

More Than Skin Deep by Sineala

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 3,521 Tags: Pining, Skrulls, Humor

Summary: Tony can just about accept the fact that he and Steve were kidnapped and replaced by Skrulls for three months. But what he can't figure out is why none of the Avengers noticed. And what he really can't figure out is why none of their teammates will tell them what the Skrulls did while they were gone.

Reasons why I love it: I never would've thought that a fluffy Skrull fic could actually work, but holy shit, it does. And it goes hard. It's so cute and funny at the same time, and I really love the team being all shifty and apologetic, it's fricking adorable. I highly recommend you check this one out, it's super sweet!

Mistake on the Part of Nature by idiopathicsmile

Pairing: Steve/Bucky Rating: T Words: 1,274 Tags: 40's Trivia, Men Out of Time Bonding, Humor

Summary: Steve takes in Bucky's betrayed look and Sam's confusion, follows Sam's gaze to the pile of mangled fruit in the trash can. Sudden comprehension fills his face. "Oh," he says. "Bucky found out about bananas." In which an American icon is mourned. But probably not the one you're thinking of.

Reasons why I love it: Chances are, if you like Stucky, you've probably read this one before, but it's one of my favorite fluff pieces, so I'm going to rec it anyway. I adore it when Steve and Bucky reminisce about the good old days, and I learned some fun facts about bananas in the process. Funny AND educational? Well, now you just have to read it ;)

[ao3feed-sambucky]

Taking It Slow

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/xVmkbWe by Anonymous Sam makes a surprise visit to New York to check up on Bucky and winds up doing something he never thought he would: telling him how he really feels. It doesn't go as terribly as he thought it might. Words: 9675, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Alpine (Marvel), Yori Nakajima, Sarah Wilson (Marvel) Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Yori Nakajima Additional Tags: POV Sam Wilson (Marvel), POV Bucky Barnes, POV Alternating, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Old Steve Rogers (Avengers: Endgame) is A Skrull, Sam Wilson Loves Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Goes to Therapy, Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Mentioned Steve Rogers, Worried Sam Wilson (Marvel), Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cat Owner Bucky Barnes, Consent, Insomniac Bucky Barnes, Awesome Sam Wilson, Grief/Mourning, Moving On, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Feelings, First Kiss, Sad Bucky Barnes, Interracial Relationship, Insecure Bucky Barnes, Trust Issues, Soft Bucky Barnes, Getting Together, Denial, Town of Delacroix Louisiana (Marvel), Mild Sexual Content, Dry Humping, First Time, Kissing, Sweet Bucky Barnes read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/xVmkbWe

[sparkagrace]

hi tej! i'm here with aus you might not write, though you'll have to let me know how close i get hahaha. i think you wouldn't write... an unhappy ending, infidelity, and time travel?

hope you have a good week! <3

Bri! thank you so much for sending this! This one was so tough because all of them would hurt me in various ways. But for you, I did time travel with a mild side of unhappy ending (I AM SORRY!). I hope you're having a good week so far! 💗💗💗

steve x bucky | teen | 860 words tags: post-EG, time travel, not a fix-it but a break it further

Bucky finds the old man behind the creek. Sam is back at the cabin, talking to the remaining Avengers — the Shield already tucked away safe — and Bucky doesn’t need any of that. He needs answers first. 

He takes a seat on the bench, hands buried in his black jacket and stares out across the water. The sun already set but there’s still light in the air before the night really sets in. Bucky is headed to the airport in the morning; after that, he doesn’t know yet. 

“Hey, punk,” Bucky begins. 

“Bucky.” The old man’s voice is raspy and slow, but with an aching familiarity. Bucky tuts. 

“So… where is he?”

The old man sighs softly, a small smile playing on his lips. Wistful. Fulfilled.

“194—”

“No,” Bucky cuts him off. “Where is he really?”

The old man who has Steve’s face glances at him, and Bucky’s right hand tightens around the knife hidden in his jacket pocket. The left already a fist inside the other. 

Bucky has seen a lot of weird things in his extended lifetime. Seeing an older version of his best friend morph into a green alien barely fazes him. 

He’s heard bits and pieces as they recovered from the battle and put Natasha and Tony to rest, and as he was caught up on missing another five years. He’s heard about Skrulls from Fury, not directly but he was around when Steve found out. Last night he and Steve went for a walk around the cabin while everybody else slept, and Steve laid out his plan to go back and replace the stones and pass the shield onto Sam.

And return to Bucky.

They didn’t know how long it would take Steve to do it, but they both knew he’d come back a little older.

Not decades.

Not having lived an entire life without him.

This is not Steve.

“He broke the rules.” The voice that comes from the Skrull isn’t the poor impression of an older Steve, but he sounds experienced. “He was told not to change the timeline.”

“What did he do?” But Bucky already knows. He had already told Steve not to.

“He went back to save you. The Alps. He got to you before Hydra did, but just before they did. The TVA tried to come for him too. It was him against the TVA and Hydra and then…” The Skrull blows out a breath. 

“Is he alive?”

“He used his last Pym particle to send you somewhere. Nobody knows where in time the ‘45 version of you is. Wherever it was, he hid you good.”

“So, he’s in space jail?”

The Skull shakes his head.

“The timeline can’t change. Too many things need to happen for this to happen, for Thanos to be defeated. The timeline needs a Winter Soldier and you weren’t there.”

Panic floods Bucky’s gut. The hold on his knife tightens. 

“Hydra took him and turned him into the Winter Soldier. It took longer, but they still could carry out the major events they needed in order for this timeline to happen.”

“And you?”

“Me? I was sent to live out a life Steve Rogers could have lived. Nobody but Hydra knew he was the Winter Soldier, and no-one would believe it if they saw Captain America out in public for decades, enjoying the glory he should have had if he had survived the war. Nobody would be looking for him under the ice if they saw him on TV shaking hands with the President, would they?”

“So you’ve been around for seventy years pretending to be Steve?”

“No, I lived it better than he ever could. I made him a legacy,” Skrull Steve grins proudly, and Bucky hates him. “I gave him a wife and kids, medals, glory. Passed on the Shield once or twice, and now Sam has it as it should be. He had a good life.”

“You had a good life. Where is he now?”

The Skrull shrugs. “Went down with Project Insight.”

No, no. That can’t be right. There’s no way that Steve — his Steve — who he just saw a half hour ago vanish on that platform, is gone. They’ve always rescued each other. Bucky eyes the platform in the distance. If he could—

“He’s gone, Sergeant. He saved you, for whatever that’s worth. You might already be dead by now too.” In his pocket, the knife taunts Bucky. He hates how this imposter talks about a Steve that wasn’t the one that Bucky knew. Wasn’t the one the world deserved. 

A shot rings out, startling Bucky and killing the Skrull. Thankfully not with Steve’s face but still. Bucky’s eyes dart around the area until he hears soft shuffling a short distance away. Bucky takes the knife from his pocket and holds it ready. 

Then he watches as an older man emerges from a hidden spot, a pistol in his only hand and a haggard face that has lived decades.

His face.

Older. Experienced. Haunted.

This is him from the Alps. The one Steve risked everything to save.

“We don’t have much time, Sergeant. Come with me. I know how we can save our Steve.”

ily sweet Bri! ✨I absolutely hate time travel because it is confusing but thanks to @cable-knit-sweater and @teenytabris for getting my thoughts in order 🥰️

[whitewoofs]

Anamnesis | Word Count - 11294

In the wake of Steve Rogers' seemingly heart-wrenching decision to leave Bucky Barnes behind and reunite with Peggy Carter in the past, Bucky grapples with the agonizing belief that Steve chose a life without him. Years later, a startling discovery leads Bucky to a secret facility where he finds Steve, his memories wiped, trapped among others whose lives have been usurped by Skrulls. As Bucky strives to rekindle their lost connection, he faces a daunting question: Can he help Steve remember their shared history and love, or will they forever remain friends in a world forever changed? AO3

“Babe!” Bucky called from the bedroom, just as Steve was getting ready to leave. He smiled to himself, sure this was another ploy to get him to come back to bed, but he had to go and speak to Bruce.

“I’ll be back soon,” he promised, picking up his keys.

“No, I need your help! I think I pulled a muscle, I can’t move.” Bucky sounded genuinely distraught and Steve rushed back into the bedroom, finding Bucky flat on his back. “It hurts when I try to sit up, but it’s really uncomfortable lying this way, help me roll on my side please,” he begged, his piercing blue eyes staring at Steve pitifully.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry, I thought you were just trying to get me to come back to bed,” he apologized as he wrapped his arms around Bucky, who promptly pulled him down on top of himself and kissed him deeply, grinding his crotch upward so Steve could feel his hard-on.

“Mmmm, you were right, but isn’t this worth it? You don’t want to leave me here suffering, do you?” he asked huskily, kissing Steve’s neck, his hands running up under his t-shirt, marveling at how perfect it felt every time they touched. It never got old, he never lost the sense of wonder at how happy and whole this made him feel. Desire curled through him like smoke and he rolled them over, so he was on top, looking down into Steve’s glorious pale blue eyes, kissing his cheekbones, his lips, working at getting his t-shirt removed so he could lick the delicious divots above his clavicles. “Stay a while,” he suggested huskily, “And make love to me.”

Steve knew it was useless arguing. His partner was an incorrigible brat, who always got his way. They’d known each other so long that he knew exactly which buttons to push, and after believing for years that Bucky was dead, Steve was always worried about squandering a single moment. The fact that touching Bucky felt like coming home and bursting into flame at the same time didn’t help matters.

“I’m going to be late,” he put up a token protest.

“But you’ll be very satisfied,” Bucky promised, kissing his way down Steve’s torso, his fingers already unbuttoning his jeans.

“Buck,” Steve groaned, but they both knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Steve’s fingers tangled in Bucky’s soft, dark hair, his breathing already fractured and Bucky hadn’t even taken off his pants yet. He’d always expected that eventually they’d grow used to this, to making love whenever they felt like it, not needing to sneak around like they did in the 40’s and they were in the Howling Commandos. He expected them to be like most couples, settling into comfort as the initial fervent passion raged and spent itself, but every time still felt like the first. Like his dreams were all being granted and he was strapped to the world’s most exciting ride.

He’d once admitted that to Bucky, who’d lifted a sardonic eyebrow and responded, “You are, we can get actual straps if you want.” He loved this man so much. The darkness from the time after he believed Bucky had died when he fell from the train still haunted his dreams frequently. Or, for some variety, he’d go back to the day Bucky was dusted, and the five years he’d spent believing he’d lost Bucky a second time. On these nights he’d be the one to wake Bucky, making love to him slowly, driving him wild with his hands and mouth until Bucky was a trembling mess in his arms, reassuring himself that Bucky was here with him and they had time enough to savor each other.

“Oh my God,” Steve groaned when Bucky licked up his shaft, teasing the frenulum with his tongue, those mischievous eyes sparkling up at him.

Bucky let go of his favorite lollipop for a moment and grinned cockily, “If you really have to go though…” he drawled.

Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky, “Don’t you dare stop now,” he growled.

“Yes, Sir!” Bucky said happily, diving right back in, using his mouth with the kind of exuberance reserved for doing things you truly enjoyed. Steve was never sure if it felt so incredible because Bucky’s mouth was just that talented, or because he so obviously loved every moment, making Steve feel a thousand feet tall.

“Babe, I’m going to cum,” Steve warned and Bucky’s eyes smoldered up at him, the corners of his mouth tilting up slightly. He’d told Steve a thousand times that he loved his cum, loved the taste and consistency, loved the idea that swallowing it put a piece of Steve inside him, but Steve still warned him every time, as if this would be the day he’d suddenly not want to swallow anymore. He grabbed Steve’s hand with his real one, eyes closing in pleasure for a moment when the first pulse of Steve’s amazing cock ejected his sperm into Bucky’s mouth. Their eyes locked again and remained devotedly fixed on one another until Steve was done. He pulled Bucky up, hugging him to his chest and kissed him fervently.

“I love you so much,” he breathed, his hand lightly stroking Bucky’s penis, smiling when his boyfriend groaned, lifting his hips, pushing his groin toward Steve’s hand.

Steve reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out the vibrating cock sleeve, slipping it over Bucky’s dick, kissing the tip gently while he lubed up his own penis, rubbing some around Bucky’s anus. “I want to look into your eyes,” he told Bucky, their hands entwined as he lowered his mouth to his lover’s, sliding into him slowly, his tongue delving into Bucky’s mouth, ravaging him.

He turned the sleeve on, catching Bucky’s gasp in his mouth, relentlessly thrusting, his heartrate increasing with each propulsion, Bucky’s eyes growing darker with desire, his legs wrapping around Steve’s waist, trying to pull him even deeper. He wanted to meld them into one being, to know they’d never be separated again. He wanted to be doing this every moment of every day, being as close to Steve as it was humanly possible, inconceivable pleasure firing through all his synapses, building to the inevitable explosion, the moment when they both break into bits and absorb a little more of one another.

“Fuck!” Bucky screamed, ejaculating forcefully when he felt Steve release inside of him. “I love you; I love you so much, holy shit how does it keep getting better?” he murmured.

Steve turned off the sleeve, removing it before it became uncomfortable and lay down next to Bucky, pulling his head on to his chest, his fingertips grazing Bucky’s shoulder, causing goosebumps to pop up.

“Tell me you’re going to be fine,” Bucky requested softly and Steve tilted his head back, looking deep into his eyes.

“I’m going to be fine. I’ll be back before you have time to miss me.”

Bucky sighed; he knew there was no way to convince Steve not to do this. They’d discussed returning the infinity stones the night before, agreeing together that it was the safest course of action, to avoid anomalies on the timeline. He also knew Steve was the obvious choice. None of that made him feel less anxious.

“Let’s just stay here, you can talk to the other Avengers tomorrow,” Bucky suggested.

Steve kissed the top of his head, “It’s going to be fine; you’ll see. I love you, I’ll always come back to you.”

~~~

Bucky stared at the time portal, his eyes like burning coals, “Where the hell is he?” he asked, glaring at Bruce who looked bewildered. Steve should have been back by now, unless something went wrong, but he was sure they would have had some sign on this side if something happened.

Sam put his arm on Bucky’s shoulder, “We’ll wait, he’ll be back.” They sat in the New Avengers facility for hours, Bucky staring at the portal with dry, burning eyes, remembering the sweat running down Steve’s neck while he was thrusting into him earlier, the love in his gaze, the strength of his grip. Why wasn’t he coming back?

“Let’s go for a walk,” Sam suggested after another hour had passed. Bucky refused at first, but eventually he had to move, before he tore the place apart.

They walked in silence, neither of them had any words that would lessen their fear, or provide an explanation for why Steve wasn’t back. Sam spotted the shield first, Bucky was like a sleepwalker, unaware of his surroundings, all of his thoughts turned inwards. He nudged Bucky, pointing to the old man on the bench. It had to be a toy, some kind of replica, but they went over anyway, incapable of ignoring what seemed like an omen on today of all days. The moment he looked into the man’s eyes, Bucky knew. He didn’t care, it didn’t matter that Steve was old, he’d take any time he had left with him, no matter what he looked like.

“My love,” Bucky said, falling to his knees, “What happened? How are you here, why didn’t you come back through the portal?” he was fighting tears and losing the battle. “It doesn’t matter, you’re here. I thought I’d never see you again.” He tried to hug Steve, who gently, but firmly, pushed him away.

Steve glanced at Sam and rose from the bench, “Sam, I need to talk to you, please wait here,” he requested, walking down towards the lake.

Bucky followed, feeling like an electric current was running over his skin, his mind buzzing with white noise. It was Steve’s eyes, but the emotion was gone. The love that had been there that morning, had melted away. Steve stopped and turned to Bucky, his grey hair and lined face was unimportant, all Bucky saw was the pity in his gaze.

“I saw Peggy when I went back,” Steve said and Bucky felt nauseous. They’d spoken about her before, with Steve always insisting he’d only ever loved Bucky, that she was a wonderful woman, who’d been sweet to him when he felt like a nobody, but he only had one true love and he was with him. “I decided to stay with her. You were always just a placeholder for her Buck.” Steve kept talking, but Bucky couldn’t hear the words, he felt like he’d imploded and was falling apart in slow motion, finally slumping to the ground. Steve touched his shoulder for a moment, then turned away and walked over to Sam.

~~~

No matter how many times he wished he’d died that day, Bucky was still alive, had lived with the constant ache of loneliness for years. The feeling that something was missing never quite left him. He wanted to go back to the day when he fell from the train and launch himself headfirst into the canyon, leaving nothing for Hydra to find and resuscitate.

He and Steve had made love that morning too, quietly and secretively squashed into Bucky’s narrow bunk, careful not to let anyone hear them. Worried about what the world would do if they found out Captain America was gay. Making promises about a future they weren’t sure they could have, but longed for wholeheartedly. Steve used to have nightmares about that day, and the dusting, saying he couldn’t survive losing Bucky again, terrified that something would rip them apart. None of it made sense, it hurt without end. Bucky understood the pain of being the one left behind now, but he’d never left Steve willingly. Steve chose to leave him.

Sam had tried over the years to get him to date again, but Bucky couldn’t stand the thought of being with anyone else. He couldn’t even get himself to have meaningless sex when it was freely offered. He’d tried once or twice, but couldn’t get as far as letting his lips touch theirs, never mind taking off his clothes. He attempted to drink the pain away, but gave up eventually; no matter how much he drank, his enhanced metabolism meant he couldn’t get drunk. Nothing helped, nothing eased his aching soul.

Smiling felt anathema to him, like something that couldn’t ever have belonged on his face. He never went looking for Steve, it would have been pointless and he had no desire to look into eyes that always used to shine with love for him, and suddenly see very different emotions there. He had his answer, at least he didn’t have to spend his life waiting and hoping, he suspected that would have been worse. And life carried on, as it inevitably does, whether he was shattered or not.

Sam knew that Bucky lost so much more than his life partner the day Steve left. He lost faith in himself, as well as the ability to believe that anyone truly cared about him. He accepted nothing on face value anymore and kept a wall between himself and everyone else. He still saved people, but he’d moved out of the house he and Steve had bought together, and into a tiny, dark, depressing studio apartment, furnished with the bare necessities. Sam kept showing up unannounced, knowing if he called ahead Bucky would make sure he wasn’t home. He didn’t take it personally; he was the one who had to try and get Bucky back to the tower when geriatric Steve left.

Bucky kept repeating, “It was always her. He never loved me.”

He disappeared for a while, telling nobody that he was leaving and when he eventually returned, he looked like the same person, but the sarcastic, funny, warm Bucky was gone, replaced by someone somber, who never smiled and barely cared about his appearance. He worked out like a madman and fought like a machine. It took a long time for some semblance of warmth to return to his eyes.

Sam was hammering at Bucky’s door, a six-pack of beer in his free hand, when he got the call about the warehouse full of pods. He tried not to take it personally when Bucky opened up and looked relieved to hear they had to go. They stared around the huge space in horror, the number of people replaced by Skrulls were staggering.

“Holy shit,” Bucky muttered, “All these people have been drained of their memories, their lives stolen from them.” He felt awful for thinking it may not have been so bad if it happened to him. Steve may never have truly cared about him, but Bucky knew his own feelings had been as real as anything could ever be and he could never bring himself to regret the time they’d had together.

Even if it did end up smashing him to smithereens.

SHIELD agents were scurrying around, opening pods and helping the captives out. Most of them had been in stasis so long their muscles had atrophied and they had to be taken out in wheelchairs. Many woke up screaming, in the grip of panic. None of them knew who they were, where they were, or how long they’d been there. Bucky and Sam helped where they could, grateful when Thor, Bruce and Clint showed up.

“Oh, holy shit!” someone called loudly.

Sam rushed over, staring into the pod in disbelief, before screaming, “Buck! Bucky, get the hell over here.”

Bucky stood frozen, staring down into the clear blue eyes of Steve Rogers. His Steve Rogers, blond-haired, face unlined, young and gorgeous, and the implication hit him like a freight train. Steve didn’t leave him. The person who came back and blew up his existence had locked the love of his life in this pod and stolen all of his memories, ruining two lives in one full swoop, as though it meant nothing. Bucky knew there was no way Steve remembered anything, but he felt the flickering flame of hope in his chest, despite believing for years that it had been extinguished the day Steve walked out of his life.

Not Steve. A Skrull. Oh God, when did the Skrull steal his life? Had Bucky made love to the impostor? He shook that thought off, none of it mattered now, but Steve’s eyes were truly the window to his soul and Bucky felt sure that he’d never been intimate with anyone other than his Steve Rogers.

“Steve?” he asked softly, praying for a glimmer of recognition, but the beautiful face remained blank, his eyes full of confusion.

“Cap?” Sam tried, but there was nothing there. They helped him out and Bucky immediately put his arm around Steve’s back, helping him to walk.

“Do I know you?” Steve asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Nearly all your life,” Bucky said with a smile, making a decision right at that moment. He knew now that his heart had been broken by a Skrull, but for the fractures in his soul to truly close, he had to know the truth. If given the opportunity to start all over, would Steve choose him?

~~~

Sam stared at Bucky, “What the hell do you mean we can’t tell him you guys were together? Please tell me you’re not so messed up that even after finding out it was never Steve who walked out on you, you’re still going to be a miserable shadow of yourself?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “No Sam, please don’t hold back, tell me what you really think of me.”

Sam glared at him, but his heart lifted at the sardonic tone.

“I don’t want to force him into a mold. I’ll tell him we were childhood friends and that he’s a superhero, but I need to know man…”

Sam sighed, “I think you’re crazy, but I guess I get it. I’ll tell the others; you stay here and wait for him to wake up.”

“Trust me, I wasn’t planning on leaving,” Bucky said dryly. “Oh, and I hope there are two rooms free at the tower?”

Sam grinned, “If there aren’t I’ll build some myself.” It felt like two of the people he cared most about in the world had been returned to him today.

~~~

Bucky was sitting next to the hospital bed, his eyes drinking in the sight in front of him, tracing every inch of Steve that was visible. His large hands, so great at holding him close. The blond hair, like silk under his fingers when he pulled Steve closer for a kiss. The sculpted mouth, which expertly knew where and how to kiss his body, making him squirm and beg. The wide shoulders and hard chest, housing a heart big enough to fit the entire world in it. A heart that Steve used to say belonged to him. He hoped he would be deemed worthy again.

Steve looked at the dark-haired man sitting next to his bed. He’d been there earlier, when all the people stood around him, staring at him like he was some kind of newly discovered bug species. This guy had been there, his eyes full of so many emotions, none of which Steve understood, but it was one of the only memories he had. Everything else was blank. Steve wondered why the guy was staring so intently at the sheet covering him, almost like he wished it wasn’t there.

Bucky’s heart lifted for a moment when he glanced up and saw recognition in Steve’s eyes, but it was dashed immediately when Steve said, “You were there earlier. I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name.”

Bucky smiled, “I never got around to telling you, they were in quite a rush to get you some medical attention. I’m Bucky Barnes, we grew up in the same neighborhood, a long time ago.”

Steve tried really hard, he got the feeling that he and this Bucky had been good friends, but nothing came to him. “I’m sorry,” Steve said again.

Bucky smiled, “You have nothing to be sorry about, none of this is your fault. You may not remember yourself, but take my word for it, you’re the best person I know.” Bucky chastised himself for the emotion that had crept into his voice, but Steve didn’t seem to notice anything strange.

“You called me Steve; I gather that’s my name? The other guy called me Cap, is that a nickname, or a rank?”

Bucky grinned, “Kind of a self-proclaimed title that was eventually earned,” he joked, before starting the long tale of Steve Rogers, who went from sickly child to superhero with the help of the super serum. Bucky went up to the formation of the Howling Commandos, before declaring that was probably enough for today. He didn’t want to dredge up train accidents, being captured by Hydra, all the terrible things he’d done as the Winter Soldier, how Steve never gave up on him.

It was part of their story, but perhaps they’d be starting a new one someday, if Steve wanted to, and Bucky didn’t know if they needed to be dragging the pain of a forgotten past with them. Even if Steve never fell in love with him again, he didn’t want to saddle him with past trauma.

Steve felt calmer when Bucky was here with him. Despite having lost his memories, he could sense that they’d shared a really close bond and from Bucky’s reminiscences it seemed they’d been as close as brothers. He’d woken earlier, alone in the room, and the emptiness in his head had him shaking with anxiety. The nurse came in and gave him a sedative, looking at him with awe in her eyes, assuring him his friend would be back soon. He didn’t remember being a superhero, but it seemed everyone knew who he was. Except him.

“Can I get you anything? An iced coffee, or something other than hospital food?”

Steve shook his head, “I know the names of foods, but not what I like, isn’t that crazy? Is there something I particularly enjoyed before?”

Bucky smiled, his knowledge of Steve was encyclopedic, there was nothing he could ask him he didn’t already know.

“Do you want me to tell you, or would you prefer to make new choices?”

Steve was quiet for a moment. “Maybe you’re right. I may never regain my memories and I shouldn’t be defined by who I was before.” Bucky nodded, convinced now that he’d made the right decision.

Bucky left reluctantly when they said it was time for Steve to go to sleep. He didn’t suppose a good buddy would have insisted on sleeping in the room with him; there wasn’t really much wrong with Steve. He was back early the following morning and Steve was surprised to find his heart lifting when he walked in. Bucky looked different today. He’d shaved and cut his hair and he was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans and a form-fitting black tank top, with a black leather jacket, which he’d taken off and slung on to a chair shortly after he arrived. Steve found his eyes drawn to the bulging biceps and taut stomach again and again, chastising himself for acting inappropriately with a friend. Bucky seemed not to notice, so that was good, he assumed he just wanted to get his own body back in tip-top shape and that was the attraction to Bucky’s physique.

Bucky noticed every glance, filing them away to remember later. He’d dressed this way on purpose, he knew he looked good. He was carrying a bag of clothes and toiletries for Steve.

“How did you know my size?” Steve asked when he came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, smelling divine, wearing light blue jeans, a white t-shirt and sneakers. He’d felt a bit strange when he pulled the black boxer briefs out of the bag, knowing Bucky had picked these out for him. They fit really well.

“Staff records,” Bucky lied without compunction.

The nurse came in soon after, to let them know they were releasing Steve, with instructions to keep him hydrated and not to let him have too many rich foods for a few weeks. “His digestive system is still fragile. He should get some exercise, but don’t overdo it. Long walks are fine, but avoid jogging, weights and sprints for now. If it wasn’t for his enhanced system, he’d have been in much worse shape, but all he needs is a little time to recover and to rebuild what’s been lost.” The nurse blushed, “I mean like muscle mass and physical things. We just don’t know enough about the process the Skrulls use for memory extraction and the effect it has on humans…and he’s superhuman, so that changes everything again. I can’t venture a guess as to whether his memories will return or not.”

Bucky bristled, “He’s right here in the room, you can talk to him,” he said sharply. She turned even more scarlet and Bucky felt like an asshole for a second before brushing it aside brusquely. Steve lost his memories, not his mind, and he wasn’t a child. The fact that Steve didn’t interject with “It’s fine,” or some kind of reassurance to set the nurse at ease, let Bucky know loud and clear that he’d been bothered by it too. Steve may not have memories, but he was still sweetness and light right down to his core.

“I’m sorry, of course, I didn’t mean to... We’ve prescribed some pain medication in case of headaches, and muscle relaxants, take them as needed if you feel any discomfort, just not more than four times per day. I wish you all the best Cap…Mr. Rogers.” Bucky had to suppress a smile at that. He’d always teased Steve that he was almost a carbon copy of TV’s Mr. Rogers, the yardstick of niceness.

“Thank you,” Steve said, looking to Bucky, uncertainty foremost in his eyes.

Steve was in a hurry to get out of the hospital, but he had no concept of where he was going. Bucky assured him yesterday that he had a room at the New Avengers Tower, but he had no idea what that looked like, who the others were that lived there, or even how to get there.

“Come on, we’ll head home and get you settled,” Bucky said confidently and Steve immediately felt better.

He wasn’t alone, Bucky would take care of him.

He blinked at the noise and the brightness of the sun outside, his heart lifting a little when Bucky stopped next to a large black motorcycle.

“Your taxi awaits,” he said with a grin, handing Steve a helmet. He got on behind Bucky, uncertain where to put his hands. He gingerly placed them on Bucky’s hips, but he turned to look at Steve and warned, “You’ll want to hold on a lot tighter than that, I don’t go slow.” Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and had to fight the incredibly strong urge to turn it into an embrace, leaning his head against Bucky’s strong back and hugging him hard. Was he being overly emotional because of the memory loss, or was he gay and harbored a secret crush on his friend? Bucky would surely have told him if they were more to each other than that? He’d chalk it up to Bucky being his pillar of strength, providing a steady foundation for Steve to stand on. He felt like he was totally unmoored when Bucky wasn’t around, scared and uncertain. His so-called attraction was obviously just emotional displacement.

Bruce and Sam were in the kitchen when they arrived, waving and calling out greetings. Bucky had asked them not to overwhelm Steve when he got there, but he was suddenly worried Steve wouldn’t know how beloved he was. “I told them to keep their distance for a bit, until you’re settled in. Sam wanted to throw a welcome home party for you, but I thought it may be a bit much to deal with right away. They’re all…we’re all, so relieved and happy to have you back. If you want the fanfare, I’ll tell him I was wrong?”

Steve shook his head, “No. Thank you, I do need a little time. I’ll definitely want to chat to them later, but I still feel so unsteady, like I’m on a small raft in the middle of the ocean and the waves are turning choppy, threatening to tip me over.”

Bucky wanted to take his hand, instead he gripped his shoulder firmly, “I’ll anchor you, the boat doesn’t need to be wobbling.” He led Steve to ‘his room’.

Bucky had filled the cupboard with clothes, having an amazing time shopping for Steve, buying the softest cashmere sweaters, and things as close as possible to the things he always loved to see Steve wear. He also couldn’t resist picking up Steve’s favorite cologne. What used to be his favorite cologne. Steve’s smell was such a huge part of Bucky’s memories, the olfactory trigger had been impossible to resist.

Steve looked around, but the room didn’t trigger anything. The clothes all looked brand-new and he wondered whether they’d thrown his stuff out. It would make sense, there was no point in hanging on to things that wouldn’t be used again. He assumed Bucky had chosen these too; he had good taste. There was a picture on the dressing table of him, Bucky and some other people in army uniforms. It was obviously old, but the two of them still looked about the same.

“Why haven’t you aged? Did they use the super soldier serum on you too?”

Bucky glanced away; he didn’t want to talk about Hydra. “A version of it, and I was cryo-frozen quite a few times. The serum doesn’t keep us from aging though. You were also encased in ice for a long time.”

Steve sat down on the bed, “Will you tell me about it?” he asked, looking up at Bucky, looking wide-eyed and lost for a moment.

Bucky wanted to pull him close and assure him he would do anything for him, but instead he nodded and sat down, “Yeah, of course.”

He skipped over his own supposed death, continuing from Steve crashing into the ice and remaining frozen in the Arctic for nearly seventy years. Steve wasn’t going to let it go that easily, he immediately picked up on the evasion.

“Who froze you?” Bucky didn’t want to open that can of worms, but how to avoid it without lying?

“A group of German scientists. You found me not too long after they unearthed you from the ice and helped me when I had no memories, it’s odd how life sometimes bring us full circle. Obviously, I’m not glad this happened to you, but I’m glad I’m here to return the favor.”

Steve looked at him seriously, “Me too,” he admitted.

Steve had a million other questions, but Bucky quickly interjected, “I’m starving and I’m sure you could do with a decent cup of coffee. How about I make us something and I’ll introduce you to Bruce and Sam. You…the Skrull, passed your shield to Sam when he came back from your mission as an old man. We’ll have to sort that out somehow, but it’s not important right now.”

Steve held up a hand, “How do you know I was the Skrull then?” he asked in confusion. Bucky cleared his throat, digging a hole and tossing his memories of that day into it, trying to bury them deep.

“You were wearing the same suit that you wore on your mission when we found you in the warehouse, so they must have caught and switched with you while you were returning the stones. It definitely wasn’t you that came back old, or you’d still be old.”

Steve nodded thoughtfully, “That makes sense. I think Sam should keep the shield and continue being Captain America. I don’t even know who I am.”

Bucky smiled, “You can make decisions like that later, and in fairness, you don’t know who he is either.”

Steve frowned, “Is he bad at it?”

Bucky laughed, “No, but please tell him I said he sucks. He’s a great guy and I kind of think he’s perfect for the job, but so were you. If you repeat any of the last bit to him, I’ll say you’re delusional,” Bucky warned with a grin. Steve’s eyes lit up at the sight of it, hoping he could make Bucky’s face do that far more often.

Bucky smiled at the sound of Steve talking to Bruce and Sam in the living room. He was as personable as he’d always been and genuinely interested in everything they had to say. Sam was telling him what an unerring moral compass he had and what a role model Steve had always been to him; probably embarrassing the hell out of Steve. Bucky was making pesto eggs. Steve used to cook it for him when they had a leisurely morning at home, staying in bed until hunger finally drove them out. It was Steve’s favorite meal in the whole world and the only thing he ever really cooked. Bucky knew his way around the kitchen far better and usually took care of dinner. He was eager to see if Steve’s tastebuds would remember. He also made a pot of coffee with freshly ground dark-roast beans. Steve’s favorite beverage.

“Breakfast’s ready!” he called, laying out the plates and two cups of coffee on the counter.

Steve looked at the green eggs suspiciously, “That smells incredible,” he said, and Bucky knew he’d choke them down and praise them, even if he hated them now.

“Thanks Buck, but we’ve already eaten,” Sam said pointedly, staring at the two plates.

“You don’t eat pesto,” Bucky shot back, “And I know Bruce already had breakfast because he was eating when I left to go to the hospital.”

Steve looked at them with a smile, it was clear that Bucky and Sam were close.

“Do I like pesto?” he asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Only one way to find out,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

Steve mimicked him and groaned happily, “Oh wow. Is this what it’s supposed to taste like? That’s heavenly. The stuff they gave me in the hospital was awful.”

Bucky took a bite of his eggs so he wouldn’t have to answer, his throat was feeling suspiciously scratchy. Steve put a forkful of the eggs in his mouth and closed his eyes, emitting a low hum of delight. “This is phenomenal,” he finally decreed.

All of Steve’s tastes still seemed to be the same, surely that meant he was still something Steve would like too, Bucky thought hopefully.

“It’s a gorgeous day outside, is there anything you want to do?” Bucky asked.

Steve’s brow crinkled, “I have no idea. Maybe we can just go for a walk? I’d kind of just like to get to know my surroundings a little. I must be keeping you from doing your own stuff, eventually I’ll have to start doing things alone.”

Bucky wasn’t planning on ever letting Steve out of his sight again, if he thought he could get away with it he’d get Steve one of those leashes they used on kids. He made a non-committal sound, “I don’t have anything urgent waiting for me, there’s no rush, but familiarizing yourself with the area is a good idea. It should help you feel more at ease.”

They walked down to the lake; an area Bucky hadn’t returned to in all these years. He’d forgotten how beautiful it was.

“I assume others can’t get in here?” Steve asked.

Bucky smiled, “No, the security is pretty tight. A lot of bad people would like to get their hands on the technology inside, and wiping out a few of The Avengers would be a pretty lucrative prize if they could manage it.”

Steve nodded, feeling quite content with the knowledge that they had privacy here. “Tell me some more about my past please,” Steve asked.

“Obviously I had no family left after so many years, but was there anyone I was particularly…close to?” He wanted to ask about his sexual orientation, but couldn’t quite spit it out.

“Me,” Bucky said easily.

Steve nodded, hoping for a little more information, but Bucky didn’t say anything else; there was no way to ask without asking and he didn’t want to say, And were we ever more than friends, because I kind of want to wrap myself around your body and kiss you until your head is spinning.

Bucky felt the tension and wanted to pull Steve down to the grass and beg him to use him in any way he saw fit, but he wasn’t sure if it was Steve’s sexual tension he was feeling, or his own, or if he was projecting his own feelings on to Steve. Steve had always been the dominant one in their relationship, steadfast and confident, soothing and coddling Bucky as needed. It was different having to be the one who took charge and he was constantly second-guessing himself.

“Wow, it’s really hot,” Steve said when they’d been walking for about twenty minutes, Bucky doing most of the talking and verbal acrobatics, trying to side-step anything that came too close to entering uncomfortable territory.

“Let’s go for a swim,” Bucky said immediately.

“Sure,” Steve said, turning around.

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked already pulling off his boots.

Steve turned back to look at him, “You mean here?” he asked, looking around.

“Yeah, did you imagine I meant let’s trek back to the house and use the pool? You’re hot now, aren’t you?”

Steve swallowed deeply, Bucky was pulling off his jeans and he wore the same underwear he’d bought Steve. The bulge at the front was substantial. He felt like his oxygen had been cut off, while he was screaming at himself to act like a normal person.

Bucky yanked his tank top over his head and for a minute Steve thought he’d pass out. He was perfect, flawless, and he made all kinds of somersaults turn in Steve’s stomach. To his utter horror, Steve felt his penis growing erect. He immediately sank to the ground and pulled his knees up, taking his time to untie his sneakers.

“Are you okay? You’re looking a little pale,” Bucky asked in concern.

Steve nodded frantically, “Yes! Great. I’m so good. You go in so long; I’ll be there in a minute.”

Bucky looked puzzled, but turned away and walked into the lake. Steve stared for two seconds, then forced himself to look away, desperately trying to get his hard-on under control. He couldn’t let Bucky see that; he’d know immediately. He was definitely, without any doubt, one hundred percent gay, or gay for Bucky, whichever it may be. He lusted after his best friend with a ferocity he didn’t think was normal, but the only person he’d feel comfortable asking was Bucky, and for obvious reasons that was impossible. Bucky’s ass was a work of art, with a gorgeously pronounced contour, muscular and taut, and Steve stared at the grass for a full minute before he was able to get up and remove his clothes.

Bucky watched him walking into the water, his eyes fixed on Steve’s tall frame. He’d lost no obvious muscle mass during his years in the pod, he was as beautiful as ever. Solid, dependable, incredible, home. The love of Bucky’s life. His first, last and everything. Steve finally looked up again when he was waist deep in the water, his eyes meeting Bucky’s, his heart filling with joy at the smile spreading across Bucky’s face. For a while everything else dropped away and he just relaxed into the arms of euphoria, appreciating this moment.

The sun was warm, the water cool, he was with a friend he couldn’t remember, but who stirred incredibly powerful feelings in him. Things would surely get complicated later, but for now, this minute, he was utterly content. Bucky dove under the water and reappeared in front of Steve a few seconds later, shaking his dark hair wildly, spattering drops of water all over Steve, who swept Bucky’s legs from under him and dunked him without thinking. They tussled for a while, splashing and doing their best to submerge each other, laughing and taunting all the while. Steve ran out of breath first and they got out, sitting on the grass, letting the sun’s rays dry them. There was a sense of ease between them suddenly, as if a knot of uncertainty had been untied. Steve no longer had to just take Bucky’s word for it, he knew, felt it deep in his soul, that they had always been exceptionally close and that bond wasn’t rooted simply in memories, it was part of their DNA, and nothing could ever wipe it out. Bucky felt his fears ebbing and couldn’t understand how he’d ever allowed one sentence to wipe away a lifetime of proof. Of course, Steve loved him. He should have known his Steve would never hurt him like that. Even without his memories, even if all it ever was now, was friendship, it was deep, abiding and unshakable.

“We should go on a da-ay out tomorrow,” Bucky suggested, catching himself before the word date was fully formed. “I’ll take you to two places, one will be something you’ve always loved, the other something you don’t enjoy all that much, and we’ll see if that’s still the same.”

Steve smiled, “As long as we can get coffee too, I’ll go anywhere with you.” He’d go without the coffee too, but now that he’d rediscovered the amazing, magical beans, he wanted more and he didn’t want to make Bucky uncomfortable by sounding like he wanted to follow him around like a puppy. Even though he absolutely did. The view from the back was exquisite.

They walked back to the tower slowly and Bucky grilled them some tuna and asparagus for lunch. “I think I’d better take some of those muscle relaxants, I’m feeling a little sore,” Steve admitted.

“Did I grab you too hard earlier?” Bucky asked and Sam popped his head around the door to his room.

“Oh awesome, you told him! Have you two been-“

Bucky nearly threw a lemon at his head.

“Sam! Hey! What are you talking about? Told who what?” Bucky asked manically.

Sam grimaced, realizing his mistake immediately. “Ah, haha, oh, it’s you two. I thought it was Thor and Bruce, they…Uhm, shit. I don’t think I can tell you.” He disappeared back into his room, locking the door audibly.

“That was weird, I don’t know what Thor sounds like, but neither of us sound like Bruce, do we?” Steve asked in confusion.

Bucky glared at Sam’s door before turning back to face Steve, “No, we don’t. Sam is weird, don’t mind him.”

Bucky scrolled through the streaming service and they watched Puss In Boots while eating lunch on the couch in front of the television. Steve hadn’t lost his love for animated movies either, but the pills made him sleepy and he nodded off about an hour into it. He’d been giggling like a small boy until a minute before. Bucky paused the film and pulled Steve down, so his head was resting on Bucky’s lap. He stroked his hair and rubbed his thumb over Steve’s mouth, remembering well how glorious it was to kiss those lips.

He’d loved Steve before he was a super soldier, when he was a small, scrawny kid with more daring and heart than brains, suffering from every ailment known to mankind, but determined to stand up to bullies. The way he looked had never mattered, Bucky loved who he was. He didn’t hate that Steve could swing him over his shoulder and carry him around, physically overpowering him when he really set his mind to it, pin him down and have his wicked way with him, but those were bonuses, not dealbreakers. He didn’t know what Steve would think if he woke up in this position, his hair being stroked tenderly, and he didn’t want to overwhelm him. Bucky got up as gently as he could manage and fetched a pillow for Steve’s head to rest on, lifting his feet on to the couch as well. He got a book to read and sat in the armchair next to the sleeping Steve, keeping guard, making sure he was safe.

~~~

Steve was excited about his day out with Bucky and had to keep telling himself it wasn’t a date. It felt like one to him though and he didn’t know what to wear. He didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard, but he had to make an effort. He finally chose an off-white, button-up knitted shirt and forest green chinos, with charcoal sneakers. He found a brown leather cuff in one of the drawers and took it off and put it back on a few times, before discarding it in favor of a tiger eye bracelet. He loved the cologne Bucky bought him and spritzed himself three times, before realizing that was probably too much and panicking that he was going to make Bucky’s eyes water.

Bucky found him standing bare chested, flapping his shirt out the window when he came into the room after giving a perfunctory knock. “Is this a bad time?” he asked with a lopsided grin.

Steve pursed his lips in thought. “Not great. I think I overdid it on the cologne,” he admitted.

Bucky walked closer and sniffed the air around Steve, his blood pressure rising exponentially with each deep inhalation. “I think you’re perfect,” Bucky said hoarsely, taking a quick step back.

They went for coffee first, before heading to a nearby ice-skating rink. “Do I know how to do this?” Steve asked, eyeing the sharp blades of the skates.

“Not sure, we’ll have to see,” Bucky returned, fastening his own skates. Steve was on the ice for a second before he fell for the first time. Bucky helped him up and offered his arm to balance Steve while they slowly made their way to the side-rail.

“Is this the thing I hate?” Steve asked.

Bucky laughed, “You haven’t even given it a chance yet. You’re very athletic, take your time and see if you can figure out how to balance.”

Steve gave it a go, but he didn’t think he improved much. He did enjoy it when Bucky put his arm around his waist to help him, so it wasn’t a total disaster, but he’d much rather have stayed at the coffee shop.

He tried for an hour, then shook his head, “No, enough, I don’t enjoy this.” His ass was wet and he was shivering, despite the fact that Bucky had given him his jacket to wear. “You’re swanning around like one of those people who do the shows on ice, I’m holding you back, go on and show me how it’s done, but I’m going to watch you from that bench over there.”

Bucky grinned, “Fine, I guess this wasn’t a success.”

Steve had always abhorred ice-skating, for some reason he just couldn’t get the hang of it and it frustrated him terribly. In all their years together, Bucky had only managed to get him to go skating three times. Four if he included today. It was something that came naturally to him and he showed off a little, knowing Steve was watching him.

Bucky was incredible. Steve didn’t know how he managed it, but for a fairly tall, well-muscled guy, he managed to glide around like he was weightless, the epitome of gracefulness, doing several showy twirls and looking like poetry in motion. Steve could only watch him, awed by his skill, entranced by the way he managed to contort his body. Bucky eventually left the ice, joining Steve on the bench, his lips slightly blue.

“Oh my God, you’re freezing,” Steve said, taking off the jacket and hanging it around Bucky’s shoulders, using his hands to chafe his arm. Bucky wanted to assure him he was fine, but the contact felt so good, he let Steve continue, while the body heat that was still trapped in the jacket soaked into him, Steve’s smell encircling him completely.

They went for a latish lunch, before catching the subway to Brooklyn. Bucky had booked them two easels at a popular paint bar. Their theme for the evening was Ethereal Treetops. A live jazz band was playing in the background; the bar supplied all of the painting materials and served excellent wines by the glass. Anticipation bubbled up in Steve immediately when he looked at the set-up, his fingers itching to hold the paintbrush, to use the palette to mix his colors. He already knew exactly what he wanted to paint, he wasn’t sure if it was a lost memory, or something his creativity cooked up, but he could see it so clearly. Bucky grinned when he saw the familiar far-away look in Steve’s eyes and he knew his imagination had already taken wing.

“You sit down and get started; I’m going to get us some drinks.”

Steve was a great artist and it felt so right to see him sitting there, immediately lost in his own head, plotting out his vision. Bucky didn’t need any more evidence; it was obvious nothing had changed. He liked the same foods, hated the same activities and Bucky was sure there was electricity between them. He’d still hold off on making any type of sexual advance, simply out of consideration for not piling too much on Steve at once, but all of it was still there, he was absolutely sure.

Bucky dabbed at his canvas a few times, but he was having a great time listening to the band, sipping an excellent Merlot and watching Steve paint the view from their house at sunset. Bucky was glad he hadn’t sold the place. Back then, he was tempted to burn it to the ground. To turn it to ashes just like his heart. Instead, he’d locked the door and left, moving into the dankest little place he could find. It had to be very musty, he’d have to get a cleaning company to go and give it a thorough spring-clean. He was hopeful that it wouldn’t be too long before he and Steve moved back.

Steve sat back, looking at what he’d created. The more he stared, the more familiar it felt, but he couldn’t place it. He looked over at Bucky’s easel and laughed, before quickly biting his lip and feeling terrible.

Bucky leaned back in his chair and took a deep sip of his wine, “Steve Rogers, are you being mean to me?” he asked in mock distress. Steve shook his head, keeping his mouth firmly shut. He felt a little better about the ice-skating now. It was very obvious they had different talents.

“I like the bunnies,” Steve said, eyeing the brown and white creatures on the bright green grass.

“They’re squirrels,” Bucky said solemnly and Steve couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer.

“Squirrels don’t have long ears,” he argued.

“Bunnies don’t climb trees,” Bucky countered, pointing to a blob in one of the apple trees.

Steve giggled joyously, “The error is clearly mine, I apologize most profusely,” he said.

Bucky sighed laconically, “Yes, I paint like a six-year-old, we can’t all be artistic geniuses.” Steve stopped himself before he planted a kiss on Bucky’s cheek.

They stayed for the music and more wine, and finally made their way back to the tower when it was nearly midnight. “Thank you,” Steve said when they got inside, his voice full of gratitude. He didn’t want the night to end, it had been absolutely perfect.

“I had a great time, there’s no need to thank me,” Bucky responded, trying desperately to think of some reason not to say goodnight just yet, but nothing sprang to mind.

“Maybe you can come to my room and we’ll chat a while longer, if you’re not too tired?” Steve suggested, a surge of boldness rising in him. Bucky’s mouth was suddenly dry, he didn’t know what he’d do if nothing happened. If Steve really meant they should talk, like chums, he may lose his mind, because need had planted a garden in his body and it was growing wild, taking over every part of him.

“Sure,” he managed, walking into the room ahead of Steve.

Bucky was reaching for the light switch when Steve grabbed his shoulder from behind and turned him into his body, his hands twining in his hair.

“I want to kiss you,” Steve growled softly, his eyes burning into Bucky’s.

Bucky didn’t answer him, he put his hands on the back of Steve’s neck and pulled him down, managing, “Oh thank God,” before their mouths collided and the world surrounding them melted away, until only the two of them were left.

Steve walked Bucky backwards until his back was braced against the door, slowly unbuttoning his shirt while his mouth laid claim to Bucky, leaving no questions as to whether they belonged to each other.

“Did we do this before?” Steve asked raggedly, when his lips moved to Bucky’s neck, slowly kissing the hollow behind his ear, his tongue sweeping over Bucky’s throat before his lips suctioned on, making Bucky tremble.

“Yes,” Bucky admitted, removing Steve’s chinos.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Steve asked, a note of frustration in his voice.

“It’s a long story, do you want to stop and talk first?” Bucky asked.

“Oh God, no,” Steve sounded horrified. “I want to do a lot of things before we get to talking again.”

Bucky sighed happily, “Oh, good.”

Steve kicked his own pants away, before yanking Bucky’s down. “I don’t think I’m going to be gentle,” he warned and Bucky made a needy little sound that made something dominant roar to life in Steve. He pulled Bucky tight to his body, pressing his erection against his abdomen, feeling Bucky’s large cock wedged between them. He’d been right about the bulge earlier. “Turn around,” Steve ordered, pushing Bucky up against the wall, putting his hands over Bucky’s and pinning them above his head, his fingertips slotting between Bucky’s fingers, just above his knuckles. “I think I love you,” Steve admitted, before putting his mouth to work on Bucky’s neck, his cock slowly pressing into him.

“I love you too,” Bucky gasped, his ass clenching around Steve for a moment, before relaxing again, inviting him inside. “Fuck me hard baby, I’ve missed you so much,” Bucky begged. Steve hated that he had no memories of this. It felt so right, having Bucky’s body trapped by his while he trust into him, each penetrating jab making his brain light up like a Christmas tree. His balls were throbbing, his hands clamped around Bucky’s. He was worried he was being too rough, that he was hurting Bucky, but he couldn’t stop to ask, he trusted Bucky would tell him if he wanted him to slow down.

Instead, Bucky was leaning his head back on to Steve’s right shoulder, breathing fast, murmuring, “Yes, oh God, it’s been so long. I need you so much,” his voice full of reverence, almost like he uttering a prayer. Steve moved faster, skewering Bucky, pushing his cheek against the wall, his full weight leaning forward on to Bucky as only his hips and thighs kept moving. “Cum for me baby, cum please, I can’t hold out much longer,” Steve begged and Bucky whimpered.

“Please don’t wait, I need new pieces of you inside me.” Steve exploded, seeing actual starbursts as his penis pulsed and pulsed, Bucky crying out when he felt the warm semen shooting into him, finding his own release.

Steve didn’t pull out, he stood up straight and pulled Bucky with him, with their fingers still twisted together, he clung to Bucky’s hand, folding his arms around him. “Do you know what that felt like?” Steve asked quietly.

Bucky sighed out a laugh, “Heaven?”

Steve bit his ear, “More,” he corrected Bucky, finally pulling out and tugging Bucky towards the bed. “I want to taste you,” he said, pushing Bucky on to his back and kneeling between his legs, moaning when his tongue found the cum still beaded around the head of Bucky’s cock. “We could have been doing this since I got out of the hospital,” Steve tutted, twirling his tongue around the head, before daintily sucking on the very tip.

“No. I had to give you time,” Bucky tried to argue, but his words dried up when Steve started to lightly massage his balls, his lips still teasing around Bucky’s frenulum. He was already hard again, helplessly lost in ecstasy, voraciously needy. Steve brought Bucky to the edge again and again, stopping when he felt the first hint of pulsing, pinching the tip of his penis between his fingers and forcing the orgasm back. Bucky’s head was rolling around wildly, his thighs shaking, the duvet crushed in his hands. Steve looked at his lover, writhing unrestrainedly, stimulated to the edge of endurance. He swallowed Bucky’s cock, all the way down to his throat, thrusting a finger into his ass and fingering him fast, triumph lifting him when Bucky bellowed, cumming into his mouth. Steve swallowed, keeping his mouth lightly suctioning, elated at the intensity of his orgasm.

“Aehaogh,” Bucky tried to speak, but gibberish came out of his mouth. It was probably a combination of being celibate for years, having gotten Steve back after believing he was gone and the slight hint of anger he could feel buzzing in Steve, but he’d never cum that fiercely. Steve had never pushed him quite that hard before. They always had incredible sex, but Bucky knew he would never forget tonight. “Now tell me,” Steve demanded.

“Oh my love,” he murmured when Bucky was done, kissing him again and again. Soft, comforting kisses full of tenderness. “I don’t remember anything yet, but after two days with you I knew how deep our connection went, how could you have believed I’d do that?”

Bucky had his head on Steve’s shoulder, “I’ve never felt like I deserved you, Steve. Not after HYDRA.”

Steve frowned, “What are you talking about?”

Bucky sighed, “I’m so happy right now, can I tell you in the morning? All the things I’ve glossed over.”

Steve paused, “I’m not sure I love the sound of that all, did something terrible happen between us?”

Bucky rubbed his head on Steve’s shoulder, “Terrible things happened to us, but we’ve never purposely hurt each other.” Steve was satisfied with that for tonight. He wanted to make out endlessly and make love to the man he adored.

The sun was coming up, the room turning incrementally from black to grey; Steve sat with his knees bent to the sides, the bottoms of his feet touching, Bucky in his lap, with his legs wrapped around Steve’s waist, pressed so close to him that his anus was able to sink down over Steve’s cock. Their lips were locked, arms wrapped around each other and Bucky was tilting his hips back and forth, setting the rhythm of their thrusting. They were exhausted, and finally nearly sated.

There had been frantic fucking, long bouts of kissing, gentler copulation and now they were softly making love, wound together completely, kissing without end, marveling at their happiness. Their final release was far less explosive than some of the others, but it left them utterly satisfied. Relaxed to the point of somnolence, and they finally tumbled on to the mattress, sinking into sleep with their hands clasped together.

~~~

Steve had been horrified when Bucky told him about all the bits he left out, especially when Bucky admitted to the guilt that never left him of his time as an assassin.

“You have to go to therapy,” Steve declared.

Bucky scowled, “I’d give the therapist nightmares, is that what you want, to traumatize some poor, unsuspecting head doctor? I spoke to someone at SHIELD.”

Steve’s brows wrinkled, “I’m not sure I trust them completely, they have their own agenda. We have to find you someone who specializes in trauma.”

Bucky pulled him closer, “I don’t need to talk to anyone babe, I’ve got you back.”

They’d spent two days in Steve’s room, only exiting to get food and drinks. There’d been a lot of the promised talking, but far more kissing and rediscovering. Bucky felt as content as a kitten in a mohair blanket.

“This isn’t negotiable,” Steve said fiercely, a commanding tone to his voice that made the hair on the back on Bucky’s neck rise in splendid anticipation.

Bucky batted his eyelashes, “What will you do if I refuse?” he asked defiantly.

Steve rolled on top of him, moving his hips from side to side, his dick rubbing lightly over Bucky’s stomach, more blood rushing into it with every pass. He kissed Bucky deeply, until he was uttering soft, needy, moans. “I won’t do any of that,” Steve whispered, putting his hand on Bucky’s cock, stroking him gently.

“Oh, fuck babe, I’ll go anywhere you want me to,” Bucky agreed, incapable of putting up even a token resistance.

~~~

Every day was like opening a brand-new gift, which turned out to be exactly what he wanted. Steve wished fervently his memories would come back, he didn’t want to lose the myriad of moments he’d shared with Bucky in the past. He would never hear about all of them, or have them from his own perspective. Bucky wouldn’t know how often he watched him and just marveled at his own good fortune. The little things that made Steve’s heart feel like it would explode with love. There was a particular sound he made when he was incredibly turned on and his eyes would close and his mouth open in a silent scream, which made Steve hornier no matter how turned-on he already was. Steve didn’t want to lose any of these tiny, intimate facts that made up the whole of how much he loved his sassy, incorrigible, insatiable boyfriend, but if the memories never returned, he was okay with making new ones.

Bucky was reborn. He was having the time of his life reintroducing Steve to all his favorite things. They spent their days watching movies, reading, painting, playing cards, hanging out with the other Avengers when they were around. Steve remained adamant he didn’t want his shield back. He’d help out if there was an emergency, but Captain America’s mantle belonged with Sam. Bucky felt relief at that, he knew Steve had grown progressively more uncomfortable with working for the government in recent years and this would give them more time together. He’d also been in touch with Shuri and she was working on a vibranium-based, collapsible energy shield for Steve, which would be capable of withstanding powerful attacks. He needed to know he was safe. Bucky would wait for Steve to pick his own name, but he thought perhaps The Sentinel, or something similarly neutral, that showed he wasn’t aligned with a specific government or authority, but dedicated himself to global justice. He’d bring that up when Steve wanted to return to work, for now they were on vacation. A sexy, lazy, relaxing vacation.

~~~

“I have a surprise for you,” Bucky told Steve. “You should pack up all your stuff.”

Steve cocked his head to the side, “Are we moving?”

Bucky groaned, “You haven’t forgotten what the word surprise means, have you?”

Steve chuckled, “Fine. You know I’d follow you to the gates of hell.”

Bucky blindfolded Steve, who grumbled, “I literally don’t remember anything, so if it’s not somewhere you’ve taken me before I won’t recognize it.”

Bucky ignored him, helping him into the passenger seat of his car. “Indulge me, please,” he asked, kissing the side of Steve’s head. Steve immediately stopped complaining.

Bucky was shocked at the sense of homecoming he felt when he pulled into their driveway and into the garage. The landscapers had done an amazing job of getting the garden to look amazing and he had the cleaning company out three times, so they could deep-clean everything. It smelled of polish and fabric softener when he opened the door and Steve inhaled deeply.

“Oh, that’s very nice, where are we?” Bucky took off his blindfold and scooped Steve into his arms before he could argue, carrying him over the threshold, into their home.

Steve laughed, “Nobody would believe me if I told them how sentimental you are. Did you rent us a house?”

Bucky put Steve down and took his hand, “This is our house, where we were living before…you disappeared. I couldn’t bear to come back here. We bought it together.” Steve looked around with child-like wonder.

“This is where we shared our life? We picked out all these things?” Bucky nodded, watching breathlessly as Steve prowled around, touching and inspecting everything.

“It’s beautiful,” he finally said, “We have amazing taste.” Bucky grinned, “Well you obviously do,” he said, indicating himself.

Steve laughed, “Oh baby, you shouldn’t be so modest, you need to get some more self-confidence.” Steve tugged him toward the main bedroom, “I believe after you carry me over the doorstep, it’s customary to christen the bed.”

Bucky swooned a little, then rallied, “Re-christen, this bed has been very thoroughly broken in.”

Steve’s eyes gleamed, “Well then, I guess we’ll have to try and show it something it hasn’t seen before.”

Bucky looked dubious, “I don’t know if that’s possible, it’s seen a lot, but I’m very willing to give it a go.”

Steve felt so full of love, that he imagined he’d burst open, prisms of rainbow light shooting from him if any more emotion added the mix. “Kiss me,” he ordered Bucky, who immediately hurled himself into Steve’s arms, “Yes, Sir!” he said swiftly.

Steve felt like a dam wall burst open in his head. Memories tumbling out like a mountain of diamonds, each one falling into its own special slot. He sank down to the floor, his eyes screwed shut against the intensity of it all. The pain, joy, love, camaraderie, friendship, all of it washing over him in a huge tidal wave.

“Steve! Babe, are you okay? Please talk to me,” Bucky asked frantically, trying to pull Steve’s hands away from his eyes. It took a few minutes and Steve was panting by the end, trying to reassure Bucky that he was okay in monosyllables.

Bucky was terrified. What if this was some terrible, unforeseen consequence of being in the pod for so long? What if he was losing Steve all over again?

“James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve said softly and Bucky froze. He hadn’t told Steve his full names. Maybe someone else did? “I’m with ya ‘til the end of the line pal,” Steve said, his voice getting stronger. “It wasn’t too long after that when I kissed you for the first time.”

Bucky grabbed his face between his hands, “You remember?”

Steve nodded, “It’s always been you and me Buck. If anyone wearing my face and eyes ever try to tell you differently, you tell them to fuck off and start looking for me, because I love you. Only you. Forever you. I want us to get married. Will you marry me? Sorry, no wait, I’m going to do something special and make it a big surprise. Could we wipe your memory for a bit?”

Bucky was laughing and crying, shaking his head, “No take-backs, I’m marrying you. As soon as possible. I love you so much,” Bucky babbled, straddling Steve’s lap and kissing him deeply, “Forever. Promise me?”

Steve pulled his mouth down, “Til the end of the line, baby,” he swore, sealing their pact with a kiss.

[imavikingo]

Steve Rogers was a lot of things, but a two faced son-of-a-bitch he was not, have some respect for his mother Sarah. Thank you very much.

What he was though, is a liar.

He has lied plenty, more times than he can even remember.

Every time he arrived home with a new bruise before his mom, and stayed in his room until she was gone again he said he was A-ok, only tired.

All the times Bucky asked if he was fine after a fight, and if he was having fun after another rejection by a pretty dame. He said he was just peachy.

When he was on death’s door he said it was nothing.

He lied more than what he was willing to admit (Steve from New Jersey ring a bell?)

Every time people expected him to be the ideal man with a plan, THE Captain America, he just faked a smile and performed how they wanted him to.

Lie, after lie, fake smile after fake smile.

He was so tired of pretending. At least he used to lie for better reasons before, and for himself.

He was what they needed him to be now, and more times than not people didn’t need Steve.

No one seemed to see HIM after being defrosted either: Steven Grant Rogers, the person behind Captain America. They only saw what they wanted to see and expected to hear.

Thats why he didn’t try and be friends with his teammates after the New York incident. Thats why he let them do those shitty “educational videos” for high schoolers.

Thats why he stayed alone for the most part.

(Nick Fury didn’t let him be either, what an asshole).

They needed him, they wanted him. But not really, right? Because Captain America is an ideal, a superhero. It isn’t HIM really.

Steve Rogers is only a man after all, tired, lonely, a sad man out of time.

Who would need HIM?

Thats why he tried to contact Peggy and have a somewhat relationship with her again. He didn’t care if it was based on “what ifs” at this point and that she was old. He needed something, someone from his past, anything at this point that made him feel like Steven Grant Rogers, human again. Maybe she would need him in some way?

Once he knew she couldn’t even remember him for the most part, he went back to square one.

He missed her, the old her. The strong independent woman that she was, and sometimes he lamented the fact he didn’t give her the coordinates in time. Maybe he would have had a good life with her by his side. If he only loved her so…

Maybe he wouldn’t feel like dying in this new scary and terrifying world every single day.

Thats why he came back alive when he saw Bucky again.

Bucky was his home, his everything, always was, always will be. He never thought he would have another chance to be near him again.

So he once again became Steve Rogers. Sure before Buck he was friendly with Sam and he had a cordial relationship with Nat. But after knowing of Bucky’s existence in the present (he’s alive, he’s here) did he became friends with them.

He fought with tooth and nails for Bucky, because he wouldn’t let anyone tear them apart again. Not even the man himself (not matter what Sam said about co-dependency. What did he knew anyways?)

When Buck wanted to stay in cryo Steve wanted to scream and cry in his face. But didn’t, because he knew Bucky needed it, needed to have his own choices and for them to be respected.

So once again he started to lie. He didn’t want to make his friends worry about him after all, he was fine. Bucky was the one that needed all the attention, not him.

Then… The battle of Wakanda happened and…

Never in a million years Steve would have thought he would lie to himself without knowing.But he did, and for literal years until present.

See? Steve didn’t know he was in love with his best friend until he lost him for the sixth fucking time. He knew he loved him, but not that he was in love with him. He didn’t realize, but even then he couldn’t admit it. He was terrified, so he replaced his name with Peggys, even on his mind.

That was safer, more “normal”. He knew people weren’t that homophobic anymore but… he wasn’t a regular Joe, right? No. That would be a disaster.

Even if he didn’t have the mantle of Captain America anymore, he was horrified. He didn’t even want to think about Bucky that way. So he started to lie to himself.

He has lied to everyone else for literal decades, what was lying to himself now?

And well… talking about deluding himself and lying… he couldn’t let himself think that Bucky and Sam were… they weren’t! They could change things, they needed to bring them back. Bring him back.

So they planned and they succeeded, for the most part (Only at the cost of one of his best friends and people he cared about).

Steve was so happy once he knew he had Bucky with him again (he’s fine, he’s alive). But he couldn’t forget about what he now knew about himself. And couldn’t let himself be distracted by any of that, after all there was also a hole Nat and Tony left on his heart, on everyone's hearts and lives (And Wanda wasn't stable anymore, he needed to fix that too).

He wanted to lie again, be comforting to Bucky, treasure him, but he only seemed awkward and cold. He was uncomfortable with his own feelings and on his own skin, and didn’t know what to do to fix things with Buck. (I love you, I'm in love with you please forgive me, I’m sorry).

So he once again fucked things up and tried to bring back Nat, Tony and Vision with him. Only… he didn’t discuss this with anyone else so he had no back up, nor help. No one knew of this plan of his after all.

He was on his own. On a prison cell for what it seems. (For the crimes of creating new alternatives timelines apparently, huh. Who would have thought that fighting and talking with himself from 2012 would lead him here. Trying to bring back the others didn’t help either).

This place was bare of anything recognizable, it was ugly and cold.

He was a man out of time once again.

Bucky probably hated him now, Sam too.

What a joke.

Everything was fucked up

For what they told him a “Skrull” (what is even that?) replaced him and everyone bought it, even Bucky. (And no, no no no... Bucky would notice, he would know!).

And would you believe it, he wasn’t the only fucker that was here too, huh. What a weird place.

So yes, Steve Rogers is a liar and a disaster…

and what a good companion that would be for Loki, the God of mischief, no?

So both tried their best to escape that fucked up prison.

Together.

[savemewattpad]

Snow On the Beach Chapter One

"did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?"

Summary:

Former Avenger Leila Whittaker lost everything in the snap–her chosen family, her reputation, and the love of her life. Three years later, she’s keeping a low profile in New York when Natasha, the de facto leader of the intelligence community, calls her back into the field for some undercover work. Leila finds herself paired with Scott Lang, known to the public as Ant-Man and known to Leila as some guy she met on the Raft six years ago.

This is fine. Leila is content with sticking with what remains of her team, and keeping the rest of the world at arm’s length. Most of them want to be there, now, anyway. And that’s fine. 

It’s fine, except that Scott Lang turns out to have a way of getting under her skin, in a way she can’t quite shake off. 

Chapter Summary: Scott and Leila both agree to get back in the game.

Warnings: None

Pairings: Scott Lang/OFC, past Steve Rogers/OFC

Tags: @ocappreciation @arrthurpendragon @suethor @notaboutcat (let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from this list!)

FF.Net | AO3 | Masterlist

Out of all the recurring nightmares Leila’s had over the course of her life–and there have been many–this one might be the most versatile. 

Sometimes it starts differently, but it always leads to the same place. She's on a stage, being controlled by puppet strings, and she looks up and finds the person controlling the strings, and it's always different, but pulling from the same pool of people. Everyone who’s ever interfered with her autonomy. Thanos, David, Johnny. Iain Warner, one time. Her past self, with blank, emotionless eyes, a few times. Occasionally more than one person, even if the people in question never met in real life. 

It’s Thanos, this time. She locks eyes with him, and as always, she wakes up. 

Leila isn't a shrink, but it's not hard to figure out what the dream means. What's trickier, and what she hasn't quite figured out yet, is what to do about it. 

She sighs and drags herself out of bed, and tries to shake the nightmare off. Sometimes she can't; sometimes it haunts her all day. A few times she's woken up into a panic attack. Today, though, is one of her better days; she can already feel it slipping out of her mind like sand through her fingers. 

She’s on her third chai latte when her phone rings. “I'm on my way,” she lies. 

“Hello to you too.” Natasha sounds amused. 

“Thought you were Tony,” Leila replies, stirring her latte absently. “I'm heading up there today. It's Morgan’s birthday.”

“Be sure to enjoy it, because I need you to come in tomorrow.” 

Leila pauses. “So this isn't a social call,” she says, hiding her unease under a layer of snark. 

“'Fraid not, Princess.” Despite being out of the field for years, Leila’s nickname, derived from her codename–Snow White–lives on. Old habits die hard, she supposes. Natasha has been calling her that for…almost a decade, now. 

“I'm retired, Nat.”

“No, you're clinically depressed. There's a difference.”

“Thanks, Doctor Romanoff, I'll keep that in mind.”

“You can ponder it more tomorrow when you come in.”

“Make someone else do it.”

“We need someone with your specific skill set.”

“Make Talos do it.”

“He's busy.”

“Then make Gravik do it.”

“Also busy.”

“Then make–”

“Stop naming skrulls. Besides, we need someone with your experience with organized crime.”

“You have that experience, too.”

“I've got a lot on my plate, as I’m sure you can imagine.” 

And Leila can. The responsibility Nat took on in the aftermath of the snap is extraordinary. Sometimes Leila feels bad about rejecting her offer to be her right hand. Then she remembers why she did. 

It's funny, in a way, that the thing that's made her more trouble than she's worth is the one thing that wasn't even her fault. (It wasn't, right?)

“Organized criminals lost people, too. They're not gonna want to talk to me.”

“They won’t be talking to you. They’ll be talking to each other. Or so they think.”

“Yes, I understand how shapeshifting works.”

“Leila,” Nat says, suddenly serious in a way that makes Leila sit up straight. “It’s about the Trust. That’s why we need it to be you.”

Leila takes several moments to process this, making a point to take deep breaths. 

“Fine. I’m in.”

“Good. Meet me at the compound tomorrow at 8.”

“I’ll be there.” 

“Lei–by the way, just so you aren’t taken off guard–you’ll be working with someone.”

Leila tenses reflexively, and tries not to let that tension into her voice. “Who? Anyone I know?”

“You might remember him. His name is Scott Lang.”

It’s early mornings like this that Scott starts to have reservations about X-Con. He comes into his office, and something about the morning light reminds him of the single office they’d inhabited years prior, lit almost entirely by fluorescents, four desks crowded into the space. Him, Kurt, Luis and Dave. It’s him, Kurt, Luis, and a small number of employees now. 

(He wonders sometimes, which office Dave would’ve taken, and if he would’ve liked it.) 

The success of the business is great, of course. It’s great to be able to help support Cassie. It’s great to be able to keep people employed that would otherwise be exactly where Scott was when he got out of prison. And it’s great to help keep people safe. 

The only problem is that the business didn’t start growing to this level until right after the snap. Scott doesn’t have, like, hard data to prove it, but he can never shake the idea that there’s a cause-and-effect there. People, now more than ever, want to feel safe. X-Con can’t protect people against genocidal aliens, unfortunately, but it can help them feel protected. Scott knows he isn’t doing anything wrong, technically–why people give him their business is their own prerogative–but sometimes it feels opportunistic, anyway. 

He’s at his desk, going over his schedule for the day, when the door to his office swings open. “You have a visitor,” Jez announces. 

“You could’ve used the phone,” Scott says without looking up. 

“But then I wouldn’t get to spend this quality time with my favorite brother,” she replies, leaning in the doorway. 

“I’ll be sure and let Matt know you said that.”

“He knows what he did.”

If Scott had more time, he’d probably take the bait, but he doesn’t. “Can you send the client in? It’s a tight schedule today.” 

Jez gives a lazy salute and heads back to the front desk. Weeks ago, their usual secretary had resigned, and Jez has been “filling in” ever since. She’s not an ex-convict, and she didn't have secretarial experience, which makes her a nepotism hire by any definition, but she needs the work, and Scott’s been watching out for her since she was nine years old. He’s not going to stop now. Besides which, she’s done enough free babysitting for him over the years to have earned it, anyway. 

He’s also pretty sure that nobody here–outside of Luis and Kurt, who knew her pre-X-Con–has figured out that she’s never been to prison. Not that it’s a secret, but still. She’s young, but even on her best behavior, she still has roughly the same personal energy as the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Toons. 

(He remembers her first visit to him in San Quentin. “It’s weird, because I always thought I’d be the first one of us to go to prison,” she’d told him.

“Sorry, first?” he’d asked. 

“Yeah. Me, then you, then Matt.”

“Why would Matt go to prison?”

“Wrong place, wrong time. I’d be locked up on drug charges, obviously.”

“Of course.”)

The door opens. He looks up and smiles. “Hi, I’m Scott, thanks for–” he pauses, and then tries not to sputter. “Hawkeye?”

Clint Barton gives him a half-smile, the kind where Scott can’t quite tell if he’s happy or not. “Scott,” he greets. “Good to see you again.”

Leila always forgets how beautiful the sky above Tony’s home is until she’s there. It’s one of those summer nights where the twilight seems to last forever, and she knows that once the sun is finally down, the stars in the sky will be actually visible, unlike the city. She can even see a few of them now, faintly. 

It’s the lakeside that ties it all together, though. Isabella had wanted to live somewhere by water, and Tony had, as he did to any and all requests or mild whims that Isabella made, obliged.  

Isabella is some ways ahead of them, maybe ten yards, holding a toddling Morgan’s hand. Still clearly in sight, but far enough away for Leila and Tony to talk, which Leila knows is coming–otherwise they would’ve had Leila take Morgan for a walk by herself while they cleaned up the house. 

“So,” Tony says, “why’re you crashing on our couch tonight, again?”

Leila knows what he’s actually asking. Are you okay? Do you need to not be alone? Are you about to go off the deep end again? Are you trying not to relapse? She kicks a rock into the lake. 

“I’m just saying, it’s an expensive couch,” Tony continues. “I feel like I at least deserve to know. Not that you aren’t always welcome.”

“I know,” she says, and she does, both about the couch and the welcomeness. Leila could ask to move in tomorrow and Tony would have the guest bedroom decorated for her within the hour. Her friendship with him is possibly the one thing in her life that she’s never questioned. 

“I’m going to the compound tomorrow,” she says finally. “Nat wants me back in the field. It’s just easier to stay here than go home and come back up.”

Tony whistles lowly. “You sure you’re up for that?”

“No. But apparently I’m the only woman for the job.” She pauses. “It’s about the Trust.”

“The Trust? That crime ring we took down back in…” Tony runs the numbers in his head. “2012?”

“Apparently we didn’t take it down far enough. Or someone decided to reboot it.”

Tony nods. “Are you working alone? I imagine it’s hard to build trust, given…well, you know.”

“Given that half of the world hates me.” Leila can handle innuendo from anyone else, but she doesn’t like dancing around things with Tony. His straightforwardness is one of the things that first drew her to him. 

“That’s the one, yeah.”

She smiles a little despite herself and kicks another rock. “Apparently I’m going in with someone named Scott Lang. Nat said I might remember him, from the Raft back during the whole Accords thing.” Leila had only spent a few hours on the Raft, and she doesn’t remember a lot of it. Frankly, the entire debacle is somewhat blurred in her mind. “I don’t, though. Do you?”

Tony thinks. “Right. Ant-Man. He was in Munich with Cap.”

There’s that straightforwardness she loves. Tony is one of the only people who doesn’t hesitate to mention Steve around her. The good, the bad, all of–

“Sorry, did you say Ant-Man?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Why the fuck is he called Ant-Man?”

“Cause he shrinks. He can also grow, but I guess ‘Giant-Man’ didn’t have the same ring to it.”

“I dunno, I might take it over Ant-Man.”

“Because you’re the expert on code names.”

“Snow White is a perfectly respectable code name, thank you.”

“Sorry.” He gives an exaggerated bow. “Please forgive me, your highness.”

Leila laughs. “How do you even know all this?”

“I have a vested interest in knowing the names of people who may or may not hold grudges against me.”

“That’s healthy.”

“That’s precaution.” Tony takes a few quick strides and then steps in front of her to face her. “I’m serious. Are you okay with this? It’s been years.”

“It’s only been three years. Not even that, actually,” she waves a hand. “As long as this doesn’t become a recurring thing…I’m fine. I can handle it.”

Tony watches her for a long moment, looking for any sign of indecision on her face. Finally, he nods. 

“Alright. As long as you stay up long enough to watch Tangled. It’s Morgan’s favorite right now, and she wanted to watch it with you.”

Leila smiles. “Traitor,” she mutters. “But yeah. I can do that.”

Scott clears an hour from his schedule (he makes a note to thank Kurt and Luis both for taking on his meetings that day), and makes three phone calls. 

The first one is to Hope. 

He explains the situation: Clint Barton (yes, that Clint Barton) showed up at his work asking him, on behalf of Natasha Romanoff (yes, that Natasha Romanoff) to get involved in some kind of espionage-related, superpower-related mission-type-thing. He said he wouldn’t do it without Hope (nobody can say he doesn’t learn from his mistakes.) Barton said they wanted him for his security and heist experience more than for his Ant-Man activity. Scott said he’d think about it. 

“So now I’m asking you,” Scott says. 

“Asking me what?”

That’s actually a good question. “I’m asking if you think I should agree to help,” he says, “and if you think I should do it without you.”

“I mean, you’re always better off with me there,” Hope replies easily. “But if they’re trying to keep the team small, and you trust them…I think you should at least consider it.”

If you trust them. He supposes he does. The Munich incident had involved a lot of mistakes on Scott’s part, but that hadn’t been either of their fault. Neither had the way it ended. 

“Have you told Maggie?” Hope continues. 

“That’s the next call I’m making.”

“Make it. And think about it. But if you say no, just don’t do it because of me.”

The second call is, as promised, to Maggie. 

“Hey, Scott, is this important?”

“Uhhhhh….yes. I’d say so.” He clears his throat. “I need some advice.”

“Okay, but can you make it quick? I’m on my lunch break.”

I can try? “Yeah. Totally. It’ll be quick.”

“Okay. What’s up?”

He tells her the same thing he told Hope, and then tells her what Hope said. “So now I’m asking you. Do you think I should do it?”

“No, I don’t, but that’s not the question you’re actually asking.”

“Okay, what am I asking?”

“You’re asking me if you’d be a bad person if you said no. And you’re asking me if you’d be a bad father if you said yes.”

Maggie’s ability to cut to the heart of the issue is not a quality Scott remembers her possessing during their admittedly short-lived marriage. He wonders idly if, given enough time and thought, he could pinpoint exactly when it started. 

“Okay. So what do you think?”

“I think nobody could blame you if you chose to stay out of it. And I think you’re going to do it anyway.”

Scott stays silent for a long moment, and Maggie takes it as an invitation to continue. 

“It’s who you are, Scott. Since the day I met you. You see a chance to be useful, to help someone, and you can’t resist.”

Scott sighs. “And Cassie?” he asks hesitantly. 

It’s Maggie’s turn to stay silent for a moment. Then, finally: “I can’t ask you to be someone you’re not. But Cassie’s already lost one father. If things get too dangerous, do you think you can back out?”

Scott looks at the photo on his desk. Him, Matt, Jez and Cassie. 

“Yeah. I can do that.”

The third call is to Clint Barton.

“Barton,” he answers. There’s a sort of lazy quality to his voice. 

“Hey, it’s, uh, it’s Scott. Lang. Ant-Man.” 

“Name rings a bell. Made your decision yet?”

“Yeah.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m in.”

[imposterogers]

I am just ill to my stomach bc not only does skrull!steve make so much sense, it would cover up sm bad writing and coordination at marvel. why wouldn’t steve rogers recognize the red skull? bc he’s a skrull. why couldn’t markus/mcfeely and the russos agree on his ending/if the tva deletes branch realities how could steve’s exist? bc he never went to the past. he’s a skrull. why did steve leave sam & bucky w no explanation or guidance? bc he’s a skrull. why wouldn’t marvel tell the malcolm spellman what happened to steve? why hasn’t there been any word on what happened to old steve/where is steve since 2019? bc he’s a skrull. like HELLO. at this point its ridiculous not to take the jump & confirm it but I know they never will 

[scarlettrue]

I definitely think that is an avenue to explore for writing, but I saw in an interview that Cobie did after the first episode of Secret Invasion about Maria that regarding Maria's "backstory" and minor development on screen that Maria "had parents and siblings." I'm not sure if that's something they told her and cut out of the show or something Cobie did on her own for trying to figure this character out.

I think it's telling that the scene only her mom is there that could indicate either a biological or non biological mother/daughter relationship. Both are powerful things to explore but I think killing off Maria in the MCU by her father figure (or what she believed was) and keeping her orphaned/child abuse by her father comic book back story was probably a little too dark for the MCU.

Personally, for my own writing I actually really like the idea that Maria and Elizabeth both escaped the abusive father/husband and that they had a very strong mother/daughter bond because of it--whether it was biological or not. However I still think this means Fury could have co-opted Maria's need paternal approval much like he did with other orphaned women. TBH post Secret Invasion, Fury making talented yet vulnerable people do his work makes him look like a horrible manipulative monster and going back and watching old MCU projects it's hard not to see that in him now even if the characters are blinded by it. Maria especially so because maybe from her background of abuse she so severely believes in justice and helping people and she's drawn by her admiration of people like Fury and Steve Rogers too! (Which Cobie confirmed that Cap was always Maria's favorite Avenger)

but i think it's clear that Fury basically saw a young woman who was very skilled and desperate for paternal approval and was just like bingo! this person will do everything i say and stand up to me very little--especially when she is younger and we actually see that development in the movies where Maria never goes against him and then in then in Secret Invasion tells Fury basically 'Hey, don't do this' so Fury's absence from Maria's life actually helped her grow a lot, even if in the end she still went back to her old ways of following blindly. Another reason why her mother was so infuriated as she clearly stated at the "funeral" scene and IMO good fuel for the theory of 'i saved my daughter from a dumb dangerous man and now a dumb dangerous man gets her killed'

thoughts??

I do agree that her mother’s reaction is very much one of “I worked tirelessly to make sure my daughter had a better life, only for it to be cut down by a mediocre man or and the hound he trained” (because Gravik is also a victim of Fury’s CIA tendencies)

The whole showing an abusive dad thing I’d say isn’t too dark for the MCU considering that Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 came out and that has some very gruesome and hard to watch animal cruelty stuff, so I’d say the MCU is willing to get dark with it (as I would intend to)

I feel like Secret Invasion needed more focus on Maria as a main character because I wanna truly understand what the loyalty to Nick Fury has done. I interpret that she’d be tired of the secrecy and abandonment and the selfishness of Fury and the other people she has to work with, and probably the general xenophobia and racism lobbied at the Skrulls from people who already knew about them, and how much worse it’d get, and how the Skrulls experiencing it is pretty much on Fury.

I feel like Cap is the one stable person she’s looked up to. He has blood on his hands, but he’s the closest to Maria’s moral compass in my personal opinion (because I think Maria is generally a much kinder soul despite her job because she’s seen fellow agents, Fury included, do absolutely atrocious things to innocents and refuses to stoop down to their level).

I think Maria would be someone who doesn’t need Fury by the end if she didn’t die in Secret Invasion, which is really important I think. But Marvel unfortunately fumbled big time.

Also I’m sorry if some things don’t make sense because I agree with you on a lot of this, like you’re spot on and practically reading my mind in some cases.

[charcubed]

Something about the way the Marvel franchise(s) develop (and this is really a very Marvel problem) that is so tiresome is how more and more narrative "copouts" and "get out of jail free card" writing mechanics are added just to be able to undo poorly thought out/poorly received writing from previous releases.

Between the Multiverse, the Skrulls, the way magic system gets used as plot devices in non-magic characters' stories, the time travel/timelines... there's so many features of the fictional universe that are blatantly concocted not really to tell their own stories but to create avenues so the "architects" can look at the audience and see how they reacted to the previous decisions and hover their hands over the "McGuffin retcon plot device #3" dial and look at the proverbial live studio audience(test screenings) to see how far they should turn it to win people back.

Because these concepts (when used in the Marvel universe) are rarely ever used to tell stories specifically centered around them, but when they are, the stories are better because writing a story that's centered around a Multiverse concept (see: EEAAO or Spiderverse) is much more coherent than tossing Time Travel into an existing story with characters already tied up in their separate arcs/worlds/development.

In Marvel, whenever characters from previously established linear stories and grounded environments suddenly get thrown into stories where they're a "Variant" or replaced by an invading race of reptilian shapeshifter (there can be and definitely is a lot of writing around the Skrull concepts' unoriginal connections) that's just Marvel wanting to retcon a terribly received writing decision they made but don't want to actually retcon old installments and depreciate their value in the eyes of the audience so they play a farce where this is all "planned" (don't laugh!) and every increasingly convoluted and contradictory pseudo-retcon are all necessary to take in to "understand" the stories that never manage to complete any narrative arc properly before some cashgrab crossover event happens that either retcons or creates things that will need to be retconned.

But it's planned. 😎

(For reference for the audience: this ask was sent to me 4 days ago, before I posted my longer post with thoughts on Rogers: The Musical. Anon was probably responding to my initial tweets related to it and my Steve theory.)

I don't disagree with you. But I will say I don't think it's all done in service of retcon but more in service of like... well, they have to level up the stakes for the heroes, right? So that's why everything is now about the multiverse and the skrulls and the like. The Big Bads have to get Bigger because they're trying to supersede Thanos. Who comes after the final boss? And that leveling up has a degree of absurdity and messiness to it for sure, especially as they try to make so many things feel connected or "planned" even unnecessarily.

I will say they've at least done a decent job of keeping some of the shows distinct – or at least, the ones where they did that are the stronger ones in my opinion.

But yeah, such is the invented problem / difficulty of having a big universe of storylines that go on indefinitely, where the main draw has unfortunately become the spectacle of it all + the crossover events that garner stupid amounts of hype. And sometimes the narrative arcs don't get satisfactorily completed because things are always, on some level, in service of teasing what's next to keep the machine moving 🙃 It can certainly feel exacerbated by how much material they've been pumping out in such a short amount of time in recent years too.

[ijustreallylikecaptainamericaok]

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes thoughts (season 2, episodes 11 - 15):  

- I’m guessing T’Challa is still T’Challa, because the Skrulls had gotten to him they wouldn’t’ve needed those Skrull Avengers to attack Wakanda. But I’m still not sure... fuck, this stuff makes me tense in a bad way.

- Though admittedly, watching Jan pop Skrull!Hank in the face was pretty good, lol.

- CD: “T’Challa, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to do.” T: “I assume you do now.” CD: “Oh, yeah.” Oh, they pissed off Carol. Bad idea.

- MH: “When all this is over, I’m gonna get a t-shirt made. Know what it’s gonna say? [...] It’ll say ‘Nick Fury was Right.’“

- LMD!Maria! LMD!Maria!

- MH: “I’ve had the same car since I was 19 years old, never had a problem. Yet this thing [the SHIELD helicarrier] falls out of the sky every other Thursday.”

- CB: “Told you I wasn’t a Skrull.” CD: “If we survive this, I’ll apologize.” Also: CD: “Are we even now?” CB: “No.” Fuck, I love Clint. The show really should’ve let him bitch-slap Skrull!Steve when he charged at him. I get they wanted to let Steve-Steve beat that fucker up, but still.

- Don’t even get me started on Captain Skrull Fuckface. That hit me even worse than I thought it would.

- Oh, thank fuck, Thor. It’s always such a relief to see him.

- Okay, but what the hell is this:

The Cyclops/Wolverine hybrid was weird, too.

- CB: “This is their photographer? He’s 10 years old.” PP: “Uh, I’m 17.” CB: “Respect your elders, punk.”

- BB: “A few questions? Captain, what happened? Everyone on the planet thinks that you told the world to surrender to an invading force! How do you respond to that?” SR: “I take full responsibility.” BB: “Do you maybe want to elaborate on that?” SR: “Not really.” PP: “Please?” Aww, Peter, I’m with you, bud. Even though I know exactly what that big, self-sacrificing jerk (affectionate) is doing.

- PP: “How could you be so... so not upset about this?” SR: “I know who you are. I talked to the police, the firemen, the people that you helped. And I heard their stories, about how you saved lives, how you never asked for recognition or reward or even thanks. It doesn’t matter what the newspapers say or the politicians or the whole world. They don’t define who you are. You do. And not by your words, but by your actions. The truth will come out. But until then, I’m going to keep fighting, just like you do.” PP: “Can I be your sidekick?”

- Yeah, following up the Skrull stuff with a Spidey episode was a very good call.

- “That shield and I have been through a lot. And honestly, it’s one of the few things I have left. That and the Avengers.” Aww, honey. :-(

- Good Lord, Clint, want a little “passive” with your “aggressive“? We get it, you missed your man, chill. XD

- Deserumed!Steve crawling up walls and getting tossed around was weird to see. How is he not eighty kinds of broken after all that? But the Stubborn Bitch Disease persists, so there’s that.