#I SHOULD MAKE MYSELF SOME TEA
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reading my favorite book ever rn it's so good! :3
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I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.
#megs is reading#I would've linked it as a full link but it didn't parse right. which probably means it has some settings against AI which. good for them!#hilariously I was complaining immediately before reading it that SO MUCH of the discussion around burnout and overwork are like#'well you should train yourself to enjoy things and live in the moment and say fuck work and not worry about it making you more productive!#and like. as a writer. as a person whose brain will eat itself alive if I do not write. NOT because augh productivity#but cuz [that one post about how if you don't draw the images will clog up inside you and make you sick]#this does not ever spark joy. I want to do the work I enjoy and find fulfilling! I want that work to be valued enough to let me do it!#where is my discussion around burnout for people who like. can in fact sit down and enjoy a nice cup of tea or cooking a pot of soup#that's not the goddamn problem here. the problem is that not all labor is valued and in fact very little labor if any is valued.#the products are labor are valued. the labor itself is an inconvenient stepping stone that it would be nice to not have to take.#ANYWAY I'm just going to go try to finish my fucking book draft now. and convince myself that it matters.
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Good afternoon gamers! Hope you're all doing well! As for me, I was thinking about my D.imitri fankid (Soleil) last night and man...I need to make an Edit of her in Heroes! She'd look so cute!!!
#pan rambles#When I have the time ofc! I have more important things to work on#But I'd love to when I get the proper time!#She's just such a sweet kid and I think everyone should get to know her <3#She's pretty good at making tea if I do say so myself! especially of the floral kind!#(Though uh. It definitely took a few years for her to get good at it-akfnskf She experimented quite a lot as a kiddo#Which is good! practice makes perfect! but it also means she made quite some questionable teas#Panchi eventually got her some book on tea (and flowers too! Teas aside- She loves flowers so much)#but yeah-afksnfkdn#Point is! Soleil in Heroes next-
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@messrsrobyn
Your tiktoks give me life
Be my friend
Adopt me pls😭😭😭
#now that ive humiliated myself i'll go make some tea#this is what happens when im bored#i just needed to say something#I've also got a banging headache lol#i feel like a creep#my tiktok is#what.does.t.moo.cow.say#i made it years ago and i dont have it in me to change the name😭😭#i think the name is like ♡🇵🇸#i should stop talking#im running on so little sleep#ill regret this rant in an hour#why did i tag him idk#i have no energy#i feel like a caveman cuz i dont have the willpower for intelligent thought rn so my head just goes 'sad' 'happy' 'ow' and that basically it#alos this whole post is weird and ive just given myself such embarrassment i shouldnt be allowed on this earth i have done humankind wrong
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Have
:3
thanks,
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i really do love that my antivaxxer mom seems to get some kind of enjoyment out of me getting sick whenever it happens <3
#i went downstairs to make myself some tea for my throat and was wearing a mask#and she just scoffed at me unprompted and started going on and on about how i should just learn that they do not work#one time earlier this year i had a health scare and said that if anything happened i would really appreciate if her and her boyfriend would#mask while sick. she said she would refuse to do so#thankfully the health scare ended up being nothing but it could have been very bad#anyways. i had a mostly good day despite still feeling under the weather. i have been really enjoying the undertale anniversary stuff#i will focus on that instead
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I have some leftover cinnamon pie after a tea party I hosted. Do you want it? No payment needed, but a hug would be appreciated!
(🧁 anon)
A tea party? That sounds scrumptious.
I.... Might be tempted by that.
How much leftovers are we talking about here?
...
No wait, I shouldn't encourage you into exchanging goods for social interactions.
You should learn to value yourself more. But if you really need a hug to boost your self confidence, I unfortunately cannot provide since I do not know where you might be located, and traveling long space distances for something like that might prove difficult with my current schedule.
So, just imagine me somehow hugging you in a totally respectable manner.
And maybe taking back a slice of this pie. In my imagination, of course...
~Dr Veritas Ratio.
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The horse game has trained me either well or badly, because I am now naming my farm animals in Roots of Pacha with numbers to indicate their stats so that I can easily tell which ones I want to breed.
They will get names when they have perfect stats and not before then.
#me: this game has a breeding barn where I need to be able to pick the animals I want out of a list#me: oh I know how to make that easier on myself#although ummmm I do feel like this game should be punishing me for inbreeding#like in SDV they just spontaneously generate offspring; everything is parthenogenesis#here you can engage in some truly horrifying wreath-shaped linebreeding#babble tea (blacklist this for less chatter)
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Game? No.
Write? No.
Art? No.
Glare hatefully at my phone because it also does not have whatever my brain wants? Sure, why not.
#well. i know what i want and that is a drink#but we do not drink anymore#so i will make some tea and turn on some music and try and relax after this gods awful day#zero star day babes zero stars#the witch speaks#hubs had the gist of it when he goes i want a smoke and hes not smoked in...15 years?#you know it was a rough day when every vice comes back to bite you with an offer of fake tranquility#but at least i got my besties christmas gift reordered. not the same one but. maybe one day that will show up at her house#considering it should have been there over three weeks ago? odds are slim but hey#i got christmas money to spend on me and im so tired thats not even tempting#even when we are doing alright the guilt of spending money on something for myself is overwhelming#push comes to shove i hand hubs a wishlist and say surprise me lol
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computer BRICKED so now i guess I Have To relax and take a break from making ref sheets for art fight. okay. fine universe. you win.
#fisherman's ramblings#how will i occupy myself#i guess ill just really focus on german#but im pretty sure my friends would whack me like ''NO. RELAX''#but idk how!!!#i sit in my bed and i drink my tea and i just sit there like ''i should be Doing Things.''#u need to make me relax like giving a dog meds u have to wrap in in cheese and OiUGH I WANT CHEESE....#cheese is relaxing.... I'll go have some...
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Looking at my poll and wondering just how does artists decide prices for their art pieces... There's votes for 20-30$, but also for 70-80$. It's surprising how differently people value my art! Hella interesting but gosh!
#I'm even more confused than before making the poll lol#Maybe I should just keep my commissions friends only after all since pricing my own art is so hecking difficult#Oh well. Maybe I'll just get myself some tea and draw something silly for now
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my cousin said she drinks one coffee a day and it's in the morning and i swear she added (under her breath) "so i don't hate myself as much" and it's like the most relatable thing i've ever heard but also the saddest and i don't know what that says about her or me but oh my god
#like i do the same thing#or if i get vibes that someone hates me (e.g. from coworkers) i'll clam up and not talk to them just head down do my own work#focus on my own work eat some chocolate think about the next bubble tea i'll get etc etc#i hate myself so much i always have so everything i do is like 'this will make me hate myself less' and#laura shut up don't tell tumblr this you can talk about this tomorrow goddddd#yeah i could discuss this tomorrow#but that'll just add to my crazy and then she'll be like 'i think you should see me twice a week'#no no no i'm not that rich i can't please no#give me 12 free sessions and then i use them all in one week#before and after christmas esp if i bring him to christmas lunch#if he comes then my brother's housemate better be there#my parents will be way more interested in her she'll bring some cool korean dish and they'll be all over her#trying to impress the poor girl#my dad asking if he can get mates rates haircut#me telling her to cut his hair like nick daicos'#her just like 'who is nick daicos' oh my god girl sit down clear your schedule#my guy just like playing in the corner with tiko#no he'll be talking to charlotte in chinese#sigh#thank god the text post is depressing enough for everyone to avoid and no one will see these tags#relief
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~ ~ ~
#I think I’m lonely in a way I can’t fully describe#I have a partner and friends and family but still often feel alone even when I’m with them#I don’t feel close to anyone at times and I don’t know if it’s outside circumstances or just me#like with my partner being asexual we don’t really do certain activities that I’d like to partake in more often and I can’t hold it against#them for how they do/don’t feel but at the same time I’m craving a physical connection I can’t have and am struggling#doesn’t help that I think about sex all the time nowadays and would really like to be having it and experiencing/exploring certain things#it’s not always easy to take care of oneself that way and still also try to console the ace partner apologizing for who they are#and yeah hall passes are great but only if you have someone to use it on and I’ve never had anyone want to be with me sexually#moving on to bestie I don’t feel my same love and affection being reciprocated and that sucks because I really do anything I can for him#and am like that with pretty much all of mt friends where if they need me for something I’ll be there#but a lot of the time it seems like he really only wants to talk/hang out with me if he’s at work and I can come visit with him#any time I invite him to do something with me outside of work he flakes and so it’s not even worth inviting him anymore#and yeah there’s rare times where he’ll call me a bunch in one day but it’s always just to tell me some gossip from work#not that gossip isn’t fun but still don’t you want to jus talk to me? I always want to just talk to you even if it’s about nothing at all#I’m always the one putting myself out there for him and being there for him when he calls me but I almost never get that same response back#and it’s like I know he has a family so I know he can’t always drop everything for me nor would I ever expect that but just some matching of#my energy would be nice you know? but then I feel guilty/selfish because I feel like I shouldn’t ask that of him when he does have a life#away from work. and I mean I guess I do too but it’s different because partner and I don’t have kids and don’t do much aside from sit around#together or have tea or other things most often done at home. and I don’t live with partner full time yet so I also still have other freedom#outside of just being with them. and other responsibilities I take care of but not on the same level as a wife and kids I guess#idk now I just feel like I’m whining but tbh all this stuff is weighing on me and just making me feel really shitty#I don’t know how to fix these issues without sounding like a selfish bitch and I’m obviously not going to cut anyone off but I don’t really#see any other solutions forming either. so it’s like I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and keep feeling bad until the end of time since#that’s the easiest thing to do and then no one else is hurt or upset aside from me#I just feel like I’m destined to float through life never getting back what I need from my relationships but still giving everything because#I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t know how to set boundaries even for myself so I’ll just keep giving and giving until I’m dead#and yeah I guess I am still a lot happier than I used to be and I appreciate the people in my life#just sometimes feels like they don’t really appreciate me back is all#so now I have to lay here next to partner and have all this shit running in my mind and try to get over it on my own#reasonably I should just go to bed but the loneliness is gnawing at me and idk what to do to make it go away
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the hilarious thing will be if me being back in school actually Improves my productivity with writing. bc i have so goddamn much free time rn, but what am i doing with it? fucking anime and crochet. i really do need to get my ass in gear for cleaning and also writing this reverse bang fic. but really. im probably going to be able to do more writing once im back in school
How, you may ask?
procrastination is a powerful drug.
#speculation nation#also me having structure and something forcing me to be up and active#im just kinda sedentary. just kinda rotting. idfk.#im certainly not thriving.#theres not enough time to get a job b4 school starts again. wouldnt be worth it either. dont need the money & i dont wanna fuckin work#really i need to be spending this time getting my apartment in order. im just shit at self regulation.#i bought. a white board. for my fridge. and im going to use it. for lists.#im going to try making lists of goals to accomplish each day. and maybe that'll help me.#i also need to get out more. visit the woods. maybe that'd help me with my writer's block.#go to a goddamned bubble tea shop (besides the one i worked at lmfao) as motivation or something#im trying. i am. i'll get there.#i should probably start exercising again. havent been biking much in Months now. that's probably not good for me.#cleaned up a dumbbell to do some arm shit while watching things. idfk. some activity is better than none.#waaaaaaaaaaaaaa i really am just a fuckin lump on a log in my natural state of being. ugh.#doesnt help that the throat bleeding disease kinda fucked me up bad enough that my stamina is... worse than before.#i can probably get it back. but man. i feel like a wasted fucking shell right now.#my general absence from tumblr hasnt been me living life to the fullest. im just too goddamned depressed to post.#nothing interesting going on in my life. and so it goes.#i'll get there. im working on it. im trying to make things better for myself.#exercise and fresh air will do me well... just gotta get some exercise and fresh air...
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Im goin to go to bed and save being gay for tomeuaorw. Tomorrow
#I should drink tea and stop thinking for awhile#even if the thinking is nice#I'm going to make a blanket fort over my bed for tonight#I need to regain some whimsy for myself
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Hello, can you do LADS men's reaction to MC/reader working too hard, to the point that she looks tired and drained? She also easily gets sick because of stress. And yes, it's based on me; right now, I'm so tired because of work, and I have dance practice almost every day for our departmental performance while I'm sick with the flu. Thank you 💜
Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to do this one justice as best as I could, because oh man did I feel this personally! Not the same at all, but I get heavy duty chronic pain, and I overwork myself often by choice or not, all the time. Feel better anon <3 I hope you enjoy, and make sure to get some Pedialyte or sports drinks, and rest whenever you can. Your health is extremely important!
Love and Deepspace Li's reactions to you being overworked and sick
Zayne -
He's a doctor, you can't even get into the realm of hoping to hide it from him for long, and you'll want to hide it from him if you're actually wanting to be doing whatever it is that's causing you to be overworked to the point of illness.
He will take a single look at you the first time he sees you once you've reached this point- routine examination, stopping by work to see you or vice versa, running something by your place he borrowed, even just you making the mistake of taking an offered ride home from him due to how tired you are. It was a lapse in judgement on your part in trying to keep this from him, but your beyond exhausted brain didn't process it at the time.
But you sure are processing it now that you've been 'kidnapped' and taken back to his place.
He has already filled out a formal doctors note- benefits of being your primary physician- and sent it over to your bosses and managers. There's no arguing.
"Zayne, I'm-" "If you are about to try a weak attempt at convincing me you are alright, I will accept it as you insulting my intelligence as a doctor."
You're in his bed, under his blankets, probably in his pajamas since he wouldn't let you escape home, and drinking the warm drink he made for you to have after taking medicine he had given you to help with your illness. He'll order food that will be good for you to eat as well, and if it's too late for takeout, he'll definitely be cooking for you as well.
Once you're done eating, he'll make sure you're properly cared for by massaging any tired or pained muscles. If that's your entire body, then so be it. Close your eyes, tilt hour head back, and relax even though it hurts in a good way sometimes, because he's not letting up.
Not until you feel better. No matter how long that takes.
Rafayel -
Genuinely, he's offended and hurt that you've overworked yourself this hard and haven't told him. And boy, is he going to let you know it.
He's carrying you gently from wherever he had found you looking so tired- no it does not matter if you were in the middle of working- while actively scolding you in his arms.
"Maybe I should just leave you there all day, come see you in the evening when you get a bad case of amnesia. Would you like that? Huh? No? Well, then stop being stupid."
He doesn't even want to dare set foot in your place right now. He's not in the mood to clean, and he knows if this is the state you're in, your apartment is probably so much worse due to just how busy and exhausted you've been.
He'll go clean it later, but right now he's just grumpy.
There is something about the fresh, oceanside air that helps your headache though- or maybe it's the light linen on his bed that he would have dropped you on had you not looked like the most frail thing he had seen all week.
He's muttering snarky remarks to you, but they're devoid of any bite due to his actions as he speaks them-
Getting you a fluffy robe to change into, putting something simple in the oven while you get comfortable, working special lotion into your muscles, making you lemon and honey tea, making it more humid so any sinus problems clear and help you breathe- he's being vocal through it all, but spoiling you as much as he can nonetheless.
"I don't care if you have a lot to do. Just- ask for help next time. And if I can't help with your work, at least let me help you relax once you're home. I don't mind you staying over either, so that I can make you feel better. Just promise me you'll do better next time, so I can help you before you get this bad."
Xavier -
He probably stopped by your apartment to return something he borrowed, and you made the mistake of answering the door directly after coming home. You were at your peak of tired, and your head had started pounding for some reason... and didn't you feel a bit hot...?
"Oh- You look- You don't look very good. Is everything alright?"
You can't even answer before he's reaching out a hand to hover in front of you, trying to decide between touching you and not, before deciding on the former. He can feel you're just the slightest bit unsteady from working so you're being scooped up in an instant and taken to the bed you had already been planning to go to.
"What have they been having you do...? Never mind. That's- not important right now."
Takes off your shoes and socks, murmurs something about giving you a massage in a bit, before tugging blankets and plushies around you. He'll leave to let you change into pajamas or something more comfortable, and he'll keep himself busy by making you something to eat or clean up your apartment for you.
He tries to cook you something, he really does try. But he definitely has more talent at talking on the phone to the restaurant he's ordering you takeout from. The pan he tried to use does not survive the attempt.
The takeout is good when it comes, though, and it helps that he gave you some medicine prior to help keep it down. Even if you're not currently nauseous, he's pretty worried about your state worsening quickly.
You won't notice until it's too late, but he's already finding out how to transfer some of your workload to himself. By 'some', it's definitely 'all'.
"No, I won't change my mind. Not until you're better. You're so tired, let me do this for you. You can make it up to me by getting me something in the claw machine later."
Sylus -
"I'm just going to go-"
"Go where, kitten?"
You had made the mistake of nearly falling over under the watchful gaze of Mephisto, who had decided it would be absolutely wonderful to relay the information about it and your current state back to Sylus as quickly as he could.
Which is how you had ended up stuck in the hallway the led to your apartment, practically pinned to the wall with Sylus's hands on either side of you.
That is also how you ended up slung over Sylus's shoulder as he unlocked your apartment door for you and went inside, carrying you like it was nothing.
To be fair, you couldn't do much to fight him off this time except utilize a few choice words. You were so beyond exhausted, and starting to feel pretty ill, to boot.
He's got you to bed as soon as the door is shut. You're allowed a hot shower if you promise him a few dozen times that you'll get straight to bed after. He makes sure to promise you that he'll come and make you get in bed if you go against that promise. For once, you don't want to call his bluff.
You're in bed soon enough, with a cool rag pressed on your forehead, some pain medication long since down your throat, and food already on the way courtesy of Luke and Kieran's special henchmen delivery service.
Lying in bed is like heaven on your sore muscles and aching joints, not to mention the pounding headache you've had since starting to feel sick and missing out on sleep. But what somehow feels even better is Sylus's hands on you.
They're just gentle touches, his fingertips ghosting over your skin to leave goosebumps at how nice it feels, and sometimes his whole hands moving slowly and lightly across your body. He'll massage your muscles later, but for now, he's just focused on getting you to sleep, even if just for a little bit until the food gets here.
He knows you need it.
#.writey#love and deepspace#lads#x reader#lds#lnds#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#sylus x reader#xavier x reader#sickfic#sort of!#.req
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