#I KNOW IM LATE HERE
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They like holding hands 😭
#I KNOW IM LATE HERE#I keep forgetting my roots as a tumblr lurker im so sorry sjfbdjbf#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#aneh draws#aziracrow#good omens fanart
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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RIP CHAIR-KUN 💔
(I got my persona mini figures the other day but Joker's chair was the only one that broke ..)
#persona 5#persona 3#persona 4#ca3 art#i forgot to post here!! im sorry tumblr!!!#i did indeed repair the figure tho!!!#i made this art initially to cope i dont know why it blew up on twitter lmao people enjoying the suffering i guess /j#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#makoto yuki#yu narukami#i drew this really quick so its messy and has mistakes but i haven't had time to draw big pieces lately#working on two zines and some comms still pray for me its brutal out here#persona 5 royal#persona 3 reload#persona 4 golden#persona
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Run boy run!! The sex monsters eat salmon!!
In which i arrive Fashionably Late to the fishssek party
#critical role fanart#critical role spoilers#click for better quality i did my best w what i haddd#caleb widogast#essek thelyss#shadowgast#critical role animation#look at him flop!!#no i didnt work an extra week just to get the flop just right what are u implying XDDD#all for the memes#alll for the meeeemesss ^^♡#u will not Believe the journey it took me i staryed animating traditionally until i had a badic run cykle#downloaded flipaclip and did some tweaks#two weeks later of getting shapes cobsistent and coloured and here we aaareee#t h e n i had to find a way to make a relatively high quality gif bc my first few attempts were a wash tbh#anyhoo i made it !! :33#and Yes i know its a bit late in the dayyy but IM IMPATIENT#* throws a salmon ur direction w gusto *#man i miss csp..... one day ill have a functioning computer screen
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Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
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The Company but they're dressed up for Halloween
Pt 1 / Pt 2
#the hobbit#hobbit#thorin oakenshield#fili#kili#balin#dwalin#bifur#bofur#bombur#heartselect#my art#thorins company#halloween#dont come at me with bifur look at him he's happy with his lil yoshi#its like theyre having a cute family picture#i ran out of idea of whats a basic halloween costume bc its not a thing here much#i thought itd be amusing to make durinsons undead themed theyre not dead#i love vampire balin and werewolf dwalin#ill do the rest... later... i know im late but anyways#lotr#fíli#kíli
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THAT EPISODE 2 ENDING!!!! THE SONG!!!!!!! THE OVERHEAD SHOT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH
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damianya week day 5: imperial scholars
2 dorks who just became imperial scholars at the same time
#damianyaweek2024#damianya#spy x family#sxf#anya forger#damian desmond#yalllll i know im soooo late im so sorry#i had so much work to do but i really wanna join this so here ya go#i love them sm#my art i guess
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I have been having a really weird experience this summer, which is that I fell in love for the first time. I'm 36, and if you'd asked me if I had ever been in love previously, I would have said "I don't know, maybe? I used to think so but now I'm not sure? What's it mean to be in love?? how would I know if I had or not???" I thought that because I had not experienced it myself, the people who were always saying "oh no, trust me, You Would Know" were all lying or otherwise mistaken. I DID NOT BELIEVE THEM. I was fully like "this is some sort of mass delusion, there's no way that's a thing"
Now that I know that this is something that Exists even if it doesn't always Look Like They Tell You, there's SO many things that make sense to me!!! Whenever I encountered Romance Stuff before, I had no desire to do any of it AND could not comprehend why anyone else would ever want to either. It was this really large experiential disconnect for me. Whether or not I want to do any of those things, I now understand why other people would, if they Were In Love. LIKE I GET IT NOW. IT MAKES SENSE TO ME. I still can't relate to things like people in movies falling in love instantly, but now it's like "oh right, that's a potential state of being that exists," rather than "pretty fucked up that hollywood made Being In Love up to sell more flowers or whatever."
I feel like I'm constantly 24/7 running a software update on my brain that's been overdue to be installed for years or perhaps decades. It's just like "OK YUP UPDATING ALL THESE PROGRAMS AND FOLDERS. THIS WILL TAKE SOME TIME AND DATA BYTES OR WHATEVER, BUCKLE UP!" Pretty sure there's actually one of those little rainbow spinning icons above my head the whole time I'm conscious, like I am some sort of very confused Sim.
This happened to me REALLY SLOWLY, too, so it was like a big blockage in a river, and more and more stuff was just piling up against it, and then the dam broke, and now I'm sitting in the shallows of a giant basin lake under a massive waterfall wringing my hat out and going "woah. they got never before seen types of fish in here"
Who else knew about this??? Unfortunately the answer is: a majority of human beings over a certain age DID in fact know about this, it's just that every time anyone said "this is a way people feel about each other sometimes," I said "hmm. sounds fake." In-cred-i-ble.
Turns out that being in love is just an experience that people can have!! It's just a thing that happens sometimes! Some people have had it happen to them a bunch and some people not at all. It's just A Thing That Can Happen To You. Wtf. WHAT WILL I DISCOVER NEXT????? IT COULD BE ANYTHING !!! WHAT WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE NEXT THING FOR ME TO REALIZE EXISTS? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. (Can you fucking imagine having this happen to you when you are in your seventies or eighties rather than your mid thirties ????? THAT WOULD BE THE WORLD'S MOST DISORIENTING EXPERIENCE.) (I also thought that "having chemistry" was fake.) (Do not diagnose me, I PROMISE I already know)
#anyway if im weird lately this is probably why. because it's weird in here (taps head)#I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TAG THIS#calling in gay to work#who can reblog this? absolutely no one. can you IMAGINE#this has got to happen to other people though right like it cant be THAT unusual#man who knows.#WEIRDER THINGS HAPPEN AT SEA I AM SURE.
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quick personal update -- i've been in chinaaaa for the past few weeks! plus a few days of layover in tokyo, so i got to visit japan for the first time! good experiences good food all around \(^_^)/
now that i'm officially back, i can share some of the soulsilver i've been stockpiling since march..... and since i'm too lazy to make multiple posts, you guys get the full dump. warning! there are a few!
#pokemon#pokemon hgss#trainer lyra#rival silver#soulsilvershipping#bao beis#big post and of course it's the bao beis!! my qin ais!!!#i'm very late but happy pride to my beloved qpr that no one knows is a qpr.. well now you know!#not that the distinction matters to anyone but me#just know that#the exact dynamic i'm here to pitch is “they should parallel play with each other for the rest of their lives”#anyway that's all i have for now. tbh there's plenty of other art i need to get around to posting... maybe commissions if im feeling brave#i hope this makes up for the absence though! uploading art in china was a hassle so i didn't bother haha#saw so much incredible scenery there ... mountains and temples and gardens.. i'm itching to turn my grainy photos into landscape studies#also got to visit the pokemon center in shibuya during my tokyo stay :''') autism win!!!
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Sharpe + Text Posts (Part 20)
NOTE: the Agriculture text post is a reference to Wellington in Waterloo (1970) where an officer praises the beans to which Wellington replies: "If there's one thing about which I know positively nothing- it's agriculture."
The Feminism text post, on the other hand is a reference to the Duke's relationship with women- the Duke took their opinions seriously and enjoyed discussing events with them- he did not treat women as intellectually inferior, nor did he feel anything was wrong with them being involved in political discussions.
#sharpe#sharpedit#sharpeedit#i know it's late but IT'S dark here and im trying NOT TO give into depression#Richard Sharpe#anyway#enjoy these x#Wellington#patrick harper#sean bean#Arthur Wellesley#hugh fraser#daragh o'malley#text post#napoleonic shitpost#napoleonic era#napoleonic wars#my edit#thekenobeeedit#funny#perioddramaedit
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#only 2 months late 😎#idk what it is about the 2-part illustrations bros but i underwent a character arc working on this#tbh i think it could use at LEAST another hour of tweaking but like. considering im packing for my dorm NOW …#speaking of! :) im going off to college! so unfortunately i don’t expect ill be very active here in the near future but who knows#i hope you guys enjoy though! im very proud of these#it’s SO weird bc it’s like. if i gave like 20% more of a shit i could actually have Something here#in a weird transitory phase rn. will let u guys know if i survive it#UMM. UH ANYWAY#game grumps#dan avidan#arin hanson#10 minute power hour#honeyart#danny sexbang#<- yeah sure. lol#also yeah the dan one does kinda blow a little bit. but the arin one 🩷
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❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
#xie lian#hua cheng#san lang#hualian#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#mxtx tgcf#mxtx fanart#mxtx#mxtx novels#tgcf fanart#tgcf art#soupysundaeart#myart#redraw#another studio ghibli screenshot redraw yeah#i wanted to time it properly but i was a day late#but if you’ve been here long enough you’d know i also redrew wangxian for wwx’s bday#i didnt want to redraw the same scene for the tgcf congo prompt#so i ended up finding this scene#and i don’t even remember what happens in the movie#but i think this was like the equivalent of sanlang giving up his powers for xie lian to break his shackles#did i mention yet im part of the tgcf gotcha for congo
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Sketches I did as samples for commissions :>
#hey#it's been a long time#i know#sorry im not as active here on tumblr anymore#i feel bad bc i really like this site#it's just that im to lazy to post here besides Instagram and tiktok#since i been doing a lot of traditional art lately#right know im working in commissions so#and last week was long tired and wild#hopefully#it's over now#but we only have to wait and see for now#rymin#infinity train#infinity train fanart#infinity train book 4#ryan akagi#min gi park#rymin fanart#my art
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PAGLUIB
way back in like. march?? I took a stab at writing some kind of kabitserye type of story but it was a mess: it kept veering off into murder mystery drama territory because I was reading a lot of murder mystery novels around then and it Wasn't Good because I hadn't tried writing mysteries, let alone murder mysteries, before lmao
I did write a handful of short mystery stories since then, so next year I might take a stab at this idea again now that I'm no longer jumping head first into a genre pool I don't know how to swim in :)
#now for the part where i have to fight off the impulse to write in some b movie horror elements because ive been thinking about#reanimator a lot lately. ehghghh. thank god for the editing process. to wrangle my thoughts into a linear state of creating#anyway i read an article. interview? on the popularity of infidelity dramas in the philippines and it was poetry to me#and i also enjoy the really intense social melodrama in lino brocka's films. specifically the appearance of morality to cover up/justify#ugly behavior. or like. man i'm tired. whatever was going on in murder by tsismis. that's the thing. someday i'll get more into it#and post excerpts from the actual analysis of the film that actually explains the dynamic im talking around here#komiks tag#original tag#also there's some. vague lingering thought about ikaw lamang in here. not in a way that matters#but in a 'the first episode that i saw was not the first episode of the drama itself and it made me go. oh everyone has rotten vibes'#which is not. well. if you saw ikaw lamang then you know the characters. this is not the takeaway from the show. HOWEVER#i did invent a whole different show in my head between that and when the next episode aired. so.#fake ikaw lamang. ikaw lamang if it wasn't even remotely like ikaw lamang. on the topic of ikaw lamang here's a cringe story for you#still following along. BEFORE i had watched the show. i saw a notebook with franco on it but i didn't recognize the character#i just saw jake in a suit and went oh! cool! i will now Buy This!#anyway i still have the notebook lmao
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hey mouthwashing analysts, do we maybe want to think a bit before comparing a full grown man, who is just heavily disabled, to a baby? like a literal infant? especially when there's a stronger metaphorical/psychological/symbolic avatar for the baby and pregnancy already present within the narrative? (multiple even!)
#please for the love of sweet christ stop treating or alluding to disabled characters as infantile. what is wrong with you#disabled people who need to rely on the care of others are not like babies. you guys know that right#also aside from it just being generally fucked up and weird#the possible metaphor of curly as anya's baby is very week. especially juxtaposed with the stronger symbols already associated with the#baby/pregnancy in the game (namely polle and the dead pixel; i actually prefer the dead pixel as being representative of jimmy)#also i just realized i spelt weak wrong. sorry im high#i also think curly's position is meant to be reflective of anya's. he's suddenly vulnerable#trapped. and at jimmy's total mercy (the physical assult 2 months in?)#very much in a similar manner to anya. only now- its too late for him to act. he can only witness as things fall apart#someone else on here said this but#curly and jimmy as foils- curly and anya as parallels#curly as a metaphor for the baby runs the risk of. muddying the whole thing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing analysis#captain curly#anya#jimmy
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