#I JUST paid off my credit cards
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It's like everything wants to break at once at my house.
First, the ceiling fan. Then the oven range, then the lawnmower, fridge, and now my car's check engine light is on 🙃
CAN I CATCH A FUCKING BREAK PLS
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Our waterline is leaking and it's our responsibility to fix it. Assuming that the pipes are still lead--which is a fair assumption, as the house is over a century old--we'll also have to pay to have all of the pipes leading to the house replaced. Rudimentary research indicates at least a cost of a few thousand, and that's for non-lead pipes. If we have to fully replace the piping, it could run us over five figures.
So much for our annual road trip. Or me getting a car. Or Mom getting to snowbird next winter. Or either of us getting out of debt.
#Notes by Nikki#it's one thing after another#I JUST paid off my credit cards#after I JUST paid off my brother's car#and then Mom had to pay to have her eyes fixed#and the tree cut down#and we were JUST about to be ready to start saving money#for her to snowbird and me to get a car#and now this bullshit#whyyy do we have to pay to fix stuff on the street land#but the city can do whatever they want there?#we're not allowed to take down the road signs#or prohibit people from walking there#or plant a garden in front of the house#but by GOD#if the weeds around the road signs are too tall#we have to deal with them#all of the home ownership costs and responsibilities#with none of the freedoms or privileges#depression#depressing#depressing shit#depressive thoughts
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Just made the last payment on my school loan heeeyyyyyy
#that's done#my last credit card will be paid off in may#i just got a big honking raise with my performance review#TOUCH WOOD but things are financially looking up here at casa jet wolf#which after many years of touch and go feels pretty good#life with jet wolf#the all new all different here we go again#gif warning
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i must talk to the guy who offered me the part time bookkeeper job again (wasn't 100% sure i was qualified for it when he first brought it up lol) and depending on what the pay is, i may survive after all
#i am moving money around arbitrarily in my accounts to pretend that i am doing something#and I've gotten the credit card debt low enough now that it's theoretically possible to have it paid off before i would have my surgery#which of course is only the case if i use the e-begged amount for the current debt and then just take on more debt lol#so far I've only pulled from it to make my payments to joss for the amount that i borrowed from her for the myofunctional therapy#so that way i don't have to give her my entire bonus next summer lol#so if this extra job pays even what I'm hoping for as a low estimate i should make it#and escape the pits of debt slavery in like 2 years#i think
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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#i just paid off my credit card!!!! most of my uni tuition went on it#but its finally gone!!!!#i just have to pay my student loans for the next five years and those are gone too and then!!!! i will be debt free#(barring any emergency medical things. fucking hell)#cole.txt
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i know the answer is yes But should i attempt to buy mcr tickets tmrw
#IF theyre even available. i will be At my place of work while purchasing them. like actively clocking in.#i need to see them so badly. i should just do it right?? i get paid today or tmrw i think so i should just put them on my credit#card and pay it off when i can. my bills not even due for like a week+..#thats also if its only $70 like the ticketmaster callers say. allegedly. if its more: fuck. if its less: yippee!!#but im hoping for the chicago show.. which will probably sell out Immediately anyway#talk tag
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All I want in 2025 is to be able to move out
#partly for peace of mind#partly for self actualization#partly to not have to commute so far#but primarily so that I can have a space I can arrange however I want#to have an actual room to use as a sewing studio and not have it be the desk in my bedroom#it’s so hard to save up money on my current salary because 2/3 of it immediately goes to loan payments and bills#but I’m gonna do it somehow#all I want is a clean manufactured home in a trailer park within 30 minutes of the museum#manifesting#but also strategizing#sewing and experimental archaeology are what bring me the most joy#and that is what I want to build my future for#that is what I want to be doing#researching and making and doing things#and if I can get a place of my own that’ll be a big step towards that goal#especially because investing in a trailer home will make me feel more secure than renting#if most of my money is going to a monthly payment I’d rather it be for something I will actually own at some point#it’s just saving up for the down payment that’s card#but a trailer home will cost me about as much as my degree did and I’ve almost paid off those private loans#so I know that it is an achievable goal in the not too distant future#my private student loans are almost paid off then I’ll work on paying down my credit card balances#and my car payment is just background noise because when I’m driving 500 miles a week for work I’m glad I invested in a newer car#the car payment I’ve accepted will just be there for a couple more years#but the private student loans and credit cards I think I can take care of this year#and then I’ll be able to put more away each month#I think I’ve got 2 years max before I actually go insane if I can’t move out#though Lizzie Borden was 32 so that gives me 6 more years before reaching the point of homicide as a coping mechanism#a very normal and healthy thought to have
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I got paid 3 hours ago and I still haven’t bought anything I’m SO BRAVE
#actually I just paid off the concerts I paid for on my credit card so I’m already broke hehehehe#I shall repeat this next month 👍
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Applying to an apartment with little income and terrible credit score, in hopes that they'll be desperate enough to take me
#im not even getting my hopes up for this one folks#but this same company rook me when i had no rental history so maybe?#unlikely for the aforementioned piss poor income and credit score#im just praying they remember me feom when i used to rent from them and liked me enough then to take me again#the bathroom is not in the apartment btw#that's the wildest thing. like its a basic studio with a kitchen closet and main area#but you have to go across the hall. to the private bathroom#im hoping they realize that thats wild and give me the apartment#i neeeeed to leave my parents house. and i really miss that city the apartment is in#i wish there was a little essay section where i could tell the landlord how much i like the city#and that ill get a better job once i live there and my parents are going to pay my first month and security deposit#that would be nice#i applied knowing that i won't get it but also knowing that i cant get it if i dont try#mostly i just miss that city#there was a really nice coffee shop within walking distance of my apartment#(the apartment i applied to is next door to the building i used to live in so same area which is great)#but i didnt have wifi so i would go there a lot to do work. it was so cozy in the winter especially#and i went on a lot of walks. so i wiuld swing by there and grab a drink to sip on my walk#and it was literally within sight of a great lake. a literal great lakw of Michigan lol#i loved walking along the lake on a nice day. or a windy day and just watch the waves crash#and my favorite band is feom that city so i got to see so many of their performances. and theyre a small band so the most i ever paid#was $50 and that was for the vip package. i saw them for $10 once. and free once. and $50 for the vip#its a big art and music city and i love it so much. i miss it so fucking much and i regret leaving#but at least it made me realize that no other city is for me. that city is my home#oh and it was literally right next to a bug beautiful library that i loved to wander. i still have my library card from there#mostly used it to print stuff and you have to pay at the box next to the printer. and one time i forgot to pay. i still feel bad about that#but i dont want to reminisce too much cuz i know i wont get it#im trying to pay off my credit cards to bring up my credit score but its slow going#its much nearer my gf and all my friends so i would love to live near them. rn im hours away from about everyone i love#i ran out of tags. maybe pray for me if you pray? or just hope for me. i dont want to let myself want this but its there
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Why does my mind immediately think I deserve to buy a treat (with my credit card) after paying off said credit card.
#I’m good with money. trust me on this#I went to a con and bought merch as a table and was like ‘man I just paid my credit card off’#and the booth person was like ‘bold move’#LMAO
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he's built to be a wife
#💫 out of character. » ||#i JUST paid off my credit card but i rly... RLY wanna ask this artist if they do expression sheets#i havent commissioned art in so long and i would loooveee to have art to icon
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i got my taste/smell back!!!
#got dumplings and ramen this time lmao#also i think i kicked my fever#still feel like shit but definitely less shitty than before#jfc man whatever this bug was it was INTENSE#and if it was the new girl who gave it to me then it barely affected her????#i guess i just got the worst of it 😭#i’ve literally had pleurisy before and WORKED 10hr shifts with that shit#and i still think whatever i got now is worse lmao#oooooo this bitch that gave me the plague is so lucky i have my credit cards paid off#and that i just got my insurance#it was so nice not having to pay anything at the doctors for once 😭#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#only thing that sucks is i ran out of ibuprofen#fffffff might have to doordash some i fear
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@ chat I took an edible yesterday but I just found out it will cost $1900 to fix my car, should I take another one
#MANLY DIARY ENTRIES#i had LITERALLY JUST paid off my credit card too#the hamster wheel of debt never sleeps lmao
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God my mom is so bad with money
#was looking at her list of credit card payments/totals and girl.#even if i gave her all my emergency savings it wouldnt be a dent#anyway money stresses me out and this is why i dont do anything ever#personal#and none of this is considering our student loan debt which we both are just like#well that's never getting paid off so who cares
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mm. money
#rambling#I just got out of credit card debt (not too bad but it got me for sure)#just paid off my medical bills#Was feeling good about trying to get my savings up again#a year ago today I had $9000 or so in the bank#and today I get a random charge for $1450#I called them to verify. it's legit.#sigh
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