#I went to a con and bought merch as a table and was like ‘man I just paid my credit card off’

[kayayeteae]

Why does my mind immediately think I deserve to buy a treat (with my credit card) after paying off said credit card.

[ocdhuacheng]

The con staff were really nice I talked to them about the dremel jackass and they were understanding so hopefully he won’t be making so much noise tomorrow. Will make it so much more enjoyable for everyone else

[jpt1311summerbnixautumn]

Convention Blog Post

On August 1st, 2021, I went to Tampa Comic Con with my dad. This was the first and only convention I've ever been to, but I'm planning on going again with my dad this year at the end of August. At the time I was 15 and a very anxious teen so i was SO stressed about going and being judged. I had planned to cosplay as Nobara from Jujutsu Kaisen, but I decided last minute not to wear it because I didn't want to be embarrassed if I saw someone I knew while walking into the convention center (for context I lived an hour away from Tampa and there was no way I would see anyone I knew but you know when you're nervous you don't think clearly). I was very into manga and anime back then, and I was going with my dad because he's HUGE on Marvel and DC Comics, which I am also still interested in. I didn't have any big expectations going in, or really any sort of plan. I was hoping to buy some Chainsaw Man merch but that was really all I thought of ahead of time.

The convention was 3 days long: a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We decided to go on Sunday, when tickets were reduced and the convention closed earlier than it had the previous days. We also got there as soon as it opened, and I was praying that both of these conditions would make for it to be not nearly as busy as I was anticipating, but I never could've imagined how insanely packed it was. From the short walk to the parking lot to the center, we passed numerous people decked out in cosplays of all kinds. Some just wearing shirts with their favorite characters, others wearing an outfit that they bought from Amazon most likely, and a few people adorned in completely homemade cosplays that they had clearly spent days, if not weeks, completing. I didn't wear a cosplay because I thought I would be one of the only ones, but it turned out that my normal clothes were actually in the minority. After going through the long process of entering, getting our wristbands, and traversing the center to make it to the convention space, I was amazed at how many people I had already passed. And my shock only grew as we stepped inside the large room. The space was like a labyrinth, a maze with walls of tables and booths, filled with all kinds of merchandise. I had thought that fanmade anime merch like keychains and art prints would be the main thing being sold, but I was very wrong. There was a GIANT section right next to the entrance that was just at least 10 long tables of boxes filled with vintage comics. There were multiple woodworking booths that sold beautifully intricate sculptures and wall art that were all well over $300 (which seemed a very appropriate price for the amount of detail that was hand carved). It's easy to say that I was very overwhelmed by all this.

I have always LOVED people watching, and I've never been to a better place to do so than this convention. After walking around for about an hour just taking all of the information in, my dad and I went to a little snack stand and each got a cheeseburger and a drink. The few tables they had were full, so we sat against a wall and surveyed the crowd. People of all ages were cosplaying and interacting. I saw one middle aged man dressed as Batman go up to a kid dressed as the Joker who couldn't have been older than 12 and start pretending to have a rivalry with him. There were so many group costumes for things I couldn't have even imagined cosplaying. Another teenage girl was sat on the floor a few feet away from me with her group of friends, wearing her interpretation of Bill Cipher from the show Gravity Falls. It genuinely filled me with so much joy to be able to watch all of these diverse groups come together to just celebrate what they like. I was so nervous going in, but everyone there seemed so friendly and at ease, I couldn't help but feel a lot less embarrassed.

My dad and I sat on the floor for about an hour and finished our food, and we went to explore the rest of the convention. We stopped at almost every booth, and I had bought 2 things along the way, a Gojo Satoru poster for my friend's birthday, and a Neon Genesis Evangelion shirt for my other friend's birthday (all of our birthdays are within a week from each other so it was nice to be able to get their gifts all in one spot). The event didn't really seem like my dad's cup of tea, and I was getting worried that he wasn't having fun, but he reassured me that he was just enjoying walking around and hanging out. After 3 hours of being under bright fluorescent lights and surrounded by people and bright colors, we were both starting to get a headache and decided it was time for us to head out. I know lots of people stay at conventions from open to close every day that they run, and I have to give MAJOR props to them because I am not nearly strong enough for that. On the way out, my dad and I passed a booth that we missed before that was selling $5 vintage tees. I dragged him over to look and was SO excited because all of the shirts they had were actually really cool. He bought 2 Marvel shirts, and I was very happy that he wan't leaving empty handed. I also got 2 shirts, an oversized graphic tee of the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show that my dad made me watch as a kid, and a Def Leppard shirt that I still wear to this day (shown below in a picture way too big for this post but it won't let me make it smaller).

3 years later, as a much more confident college student, I can't wait to return to Tampa Comic Con. I'm planning on wearing a Sailor Moon cosplay that I wore for halloween last year (added below in case anyone wanted to see), and after my previous experience, I'm no longer nervous about being judged. Comic Con is a place where the only requirement to be accepted is to be kind <3

(So so sorry this is over 1k words I just got really into writing about my experience and reminiscing. Please don't dock any points I'm just overly passionate)

[sealionsam]

went to a local comicon a couple weeks ago and surprisingly enough there was a decent amount of spn prints/merch??? which has been unusual for the smaller cons i’ve gone to in the past couple years

anyways, my best friend and I talked for like 30+ minutes with this one artist (who was amazing and i definitely bought her sam and dean prints) and we chatted about spn and selling merch which was really interesting

the sam ones never sell by themselves at conventions. either people buy sam and dean together as a set or just dean.

“i’m actually starting to enjoy sam more recently in the past couple seasons, he’s not as [annoying] anymore”

cue me telling her my favorite character has been sam since I started watching years ago “oh well you were ahead of the game there, you must’ve seen something [we] couldn’t”

i was. just a tiny bit down after hearing that sam prints didn’t sell by themselves and the other comments. cuz that’s fuckin sad man. i was trying so hard the whole time not to go into defensive mode, cuz i do that a lot in person. 

and then another table only had dean prints and cas prints although she was asking for suggestion for her next con and I asked if she could make a sam one (and i bought the dean one for my friend)

i don’t know what my point here was actually but yeah. i felt sad. but i got a good sam print and a gift so *shrugs*

[canyoufeelitmrkrabsbruh]

Shika’s Guide To Selling at Conventions #1: Table Set Up

Sooooo, to take my mind off somethings that are bugging me and to give myself a break from drawing; I thought I might offer a bit of insight to those who want to sell at conventions or those who already do but, just might want to read a long ass post about artsy shit. This post in particular will be about your table set up and I’ll probably make another one on what type of things you should sell and where to get your stuff made and or/how to make them yourself, one on what the content of your merch should be, and basic convention etiquette. Coming from someone that has done plenty of research on conventions, is currently getting ready for the 2018 con circuit, and has sold things herself I have quite a bit to talk about.

Strap in kiddies, because I’m going to cover everything I can possibly think of when it comes to table set up.

PART 2: PRODUCTS AND HOW TO MAKE THEM/WHERE TO GET THEM DONE

Now the first thing I want to list is the things that you will need REGARDLESS of your table set up. These are things that everyone needs to have whether they have a grid display, pipe display, etc.

Tablecloth: At most conventions/fairs you’re going to be given a table that is 2′x6′. You can have just a cheap ass plastic tablecloth meant for one time use if you’re just testing the waters but, if you’re going to be selling multiple times a year or if you’re even just going to sell more in the future I recommend that you have something made of cloth. It doesn’t even have to be specifically a tablecloth. Mine is a tapestry that I’m using so whatever fits the table will be fine.

Paper For Keeping Count of Your Inventory: This is important to make sure you’re keeping track of what you have and what you’ve sold.

Pens and Markers

Sign(s) Listing Your Prices For Your Items: It’s annoying to keep having to ask the artist what the price of everything is so make sure everything is marked.

Money Box with Change

Scissors

Container for holding your merch including your prints and everything else

T-Shirt Bags: You can get a box of them at Office Max/Depot, or colored ones on Ebay. Your costumers will thank you for having them trust me.

Pocket Folder

Paracord: This is useful for hanging or tying your banner and so much more.

Invisible Tape

Banner

Card Reader: Not everyone has cash on them these days. I sure as hell don’t so, get one. I recommend Square personally.

Phone Stylus: Get a cheap one at Walmart so people can sign when they buy with a card.

Velcro

And now that, that is out of the way let’s get onto the actual table display. There are tons of ways to set up your table and you can look up pictures as reference but, I will be going over the 5 most common types that I have seen, the pros and cons of each, and the extra items you made need for each particular display. I’ll start at the cheapest and go up.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Price: $

Eyup, that’s right. You can get by with just having your stuff spread out on your table. This set up is good because it’s cheap and good for first timers and it’s also good if you’re only selling prints and/or maybe a few items. But, at the same time it may be tiresome for customers to have to look down at a table and it may look cluttered and unprofessional as well.

Pros: Cheap, Good for first timers or people on a budget, Good for those with minimal items to sell, Set up is very easy

Cons: Can look cluttered/unprofessional, Can be tiresome for customers to look down.

Extras You May Need: Portfolio/Page Protectors to Display Prints, Binder

PVC PIPING

Price: $

This is probably the one everyone is most familiar with. It’s a simple and cheap and does a great job of displaying many different prints. It’s starting to fade out in recent years as Photography Stands are getting more popular. It’s common for most beginners to use this but, that also may be a con because it can look a bit amateurish with those big white pipes showing. They are readily available at any hardware store and are pretty cheap. Most beginners (especially people in the mid 2000′s) would use clamps to hold the pipes up and tape the hell out of them but, I would recommend a setup like this. No matter how you set it up, the set up its self takes time so you’ll have to go in early to set up.

Pros: Cheap, Readily available, Can be customized to different heights and widths

Cons: Set up may take some time, a bit amateurish and unprofessional, can be a bit wobbly and unstable, Hard to transport to keep track of all of the pieces

Extras You May Need: Plastic Page Sleeves, Binder Clips/Binder Rings

WIRE GRID STORAGE CUBES

Price: $$

This is neck in neck with Photography Stands with the most current popular display method. It’s actually the one I use and its my favorite. It’s very easy to find; You can find it at Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, Target, and Kmart (which is where I got mine). You can even order the individual little grids online through certain stores. They come in both black and white. How much you spend will depend on whether you get a 4 cube set or a 6 cube set. I have a 6 cube set that I got at Kmart for $20 and it’s worked perfectly for me. The set up is easy but takes time (longer than the PVC pipes) so you’ll have to go in early to properly set up. My favorite thing with these is how customizable they are. You can do so many different looks with them.

Pros: Fairly inexpensive, Readily available, Customizable, Good for Products like Charms/Jewelry/Bookmarks because they can be hung, Easy to transport

Cons: Can be unstable based on how it’s set up, set up takes time

WIRE GRID PANELS

Price: $$$

This is one of the more rarer ones but, I still think it’s worth mentioning anyways. These work like the Storage Cubes but, on a larger scale. These will have to be placed on the floor unlike the rest and you need to buy more than one, which isn’t a big deal because they’re actually fairly cheap in a pack. They can be bought in different sizes but, because they are so big, heavy, and almost exclusively sold online shipping will probably bite you in the ass. Also set up will most likely be difficult without a helper. Also because of the fact that they are so big will give you plenty of space to display prints. The fact that they’re on the floor will free up you table space and give you more room to show other things.

Pros: Pretty affordable for their size, Very professional looking, Easy to hang things like Charms/Bookmarks/Jewelry from, Plenty of display space, Frees up table space

Cons: Hard to set up without help, Hard to transport, May make your booth space feel crowded with things behind you

Extras You May Need: Zipties

PHOTOGRAPHY STAND

Price: $$$$

This is tied with the Grid Cubes for the most popular option and it’s steadily growing as well. They’ll set you back about $80-$90 but, they have a lot of benefits. They are the easiest to set up. They have the concept of PVC pipes but are far easier to put together, are customizable with the height and width, and are much more sleeker and professional looking. They are perfect for anyone selling alot of prints and like the grid panels they free up table space. And also like the panels they can make the surrounding area feel closed in.

Pros: Very easy setup, Very professional looking, Plenty of Space for prints, Customizable height and width, Frees up table space, Easy Transport

Cons: Very expensive for a quality one, Mostly exclusive to online, Depending on the feet type it can be a tad bit unsturdy, Makes surrounding space feel cluttered

Extras You May Need: Plastic Page Sleeves, Binder Clips/Binder Rings

And those are only the 5 most popular set ups. I’ve seen people use other methods so do you research and pick and choose which one suits you best. And now unto how to display certain popular items. The prints are covered by the stand setup but, this is for the smaller things.

Buttons

Foam Core Board (Can be by it’s self or with a fabric covering like felt)

Jewelry Beading Box

Cork Board

Charms

Foam Core Board

Cork Board

Display Case

Stickers

Bowls (Good for individual stickers)

Foam Core Board (Good for sticker sheets)

Jewelry Beading Box

Jewelry

I would have to list alot but, unless you’re going to have them hanging if you have wire grid panels/storage cubes You’ll need a necklace stand, bracelet stand, ring holder, etc.

These are extras that completely optional but, I thought they would be nice to mention anyhow.

Peg Board With Pegs: These are great for displaying hanging things like Keychains,Charms Etc. They can even be used to display prints if you get them big enough.

Cloth Backdrop for Photography Stand: If you don’t want to put your prints in sleeves and then tape them together, You can attach them to a cloth backdrop.

Gift Card Display, Revolving or Stationary: These are great if you’re like me and you sell 4x6 Mini Prints.

Boxes: I often see these used to elevate certain products and show off certain things. They’re more often than not painted small wooden boxes flipped upside down with the merch placed on top.

Easel Stands: If you’re going to be using Foam Core Boards Or Cork Boards, you’ll need something to prop them up.

Business Cards and Business Card Holder: This may be a weird one to be optional, you’d think it would be up with the essential stuff but, not exactly. I personally prefer to keep businesses cards but, at a Con I went to this year there was alot of people that instead of many business cards they had one little sign with all of their social media (some even had a QR Code) that people would take a picture of.

Brads/Finishing Nails: Again if you’ll be using Foam Core or Cork Board for displays you’ll need something to have your product hang off. I personally prefer brads over finishing nails because they can come in different designs.

Hangers: If you’re selling t-shirts and you’re not going to have them on the table top, you can use hangers to display the t-shirts.

[0vv0b]

I say con report but things about the con is barely mentioned in this...this is just a roller coaster of events that happened to me in the span of 2 days.

Day 1 (SAT)

I was so ready for this con right like I drew the prints a month before printing and printed them 3 days before the con so I can prepare for any last-minute thing that might happen like I was SO ready!! But then just as I was about to leave for the con my dog suddenly peed on my shoe;;; I was meeting my tablemates that morning but I was the last to get there because I had to wash and dry my shoe first.

Our table!!

I HAD TO COVER HIM UP BECAUSE THERE WERE CHILDREN

Everything was calm in the morning but around noon people started to come in lots. The MC in the back was very loud and I was getting worried because I couldn’t tend to people fast enough (can’t hear clearly), I also ran out of change so I started to panic big time it was really embarrassing… (lol why am I like this)

I was supposed to leave around 3:30 pm for class but I kept delaying because it still wasn’t confirmed if the prof was going to teach or not lmao. We have a group chat and most my classmates didn’t really want to have classes because it was raining really bad. The prof cancelled around 30 mins before classes start so I was able to stay til end of day 1! (would’ve been better if it was cancelled early because my nerves were killing me hhhhhhhhhh)

There were lots of BNHA cosplayers!! There was a cheer squad group cosplay and people were swooning all over them! They wanted to buy my BNHA prints but hnnnggs already sold out, except my Kirishima print, which the Kirishima cosplayer bought!! 

It looked like kiri was his fave (if the cosplay wasn’t obvious enough lol kou) because he was so happy buying the kiri print!! it was like seeing irl kiri!!! HE SMILE SO PURE!! SO BRIGHT!!! 

I remember there was a Dabi, Toga, and Shiragaki group that bought our stuffs! 

The Shiragaki cosplayer was so cute they were pointing at which prints they wanted to buy because they couldn’t speak properly wwwwww

sorry I couldn’t take pics I was a dead tired granpa with a hurting back who slept under our table

Day 2 (SUN)

Day 2 was a lot stressful so buckle up. Note that I was carrying that grid thingy THE WHOLE TIME from house til i got to the con.

I was supposed to wake up early to reprint stuffs but I overslept I rushed out of the house with nothing but coffee for breakfast (big mistake). Sunday traffic was super light though! Very different from a weekday!

Anyways, en route to print shop I had to take transit I was making time but I was still rushing I didn’t notice I went into the driver’s car, which I didn’t know was half reserved for senior citizens and there was a chain border thingy that’s kind of a hassle to step over so I just stayed put.

It was really awkward the granma and granpas were looking at me and then the granpa beside me farted that lasted 2 stations.

I had to keep a poker face and take shallow breathes I didn’t want to hurt his feelings because I know he can’t help it and I was in the wrong car anyways so I had to face The Consequences lmao

When I got to the print shop the guard there told me they were closed on Sundays but there was a branch nearby that’s supposedly walking distance. It wasn’t though… I’ve walked 3?? 5?? km before decided to take a cab ToT . The area was a super windy too because i think there was still a low pressure area in the country so I was like

I got to the print shop but I was running a bit late and I’m starting to get tired and hungry my arms spaghetti but when the guy opened my prints folder I foRGOT MY PRINTS WERE KINDA… HONKA HONKA I didn’t think they minded tho bUT I KINDA DID AND WHEN ONE GUY WAS ABOUT TO CUT OUT THE CRAIG PRINTS I HEARD HIM GO—

lmao I was half tired half embarrassed I just didn’t care that much. I thought their reactions were funny.

I was already running because it was past lunch and my tablemate was texting me that there were people waiting for like an hour to buy my prints I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT IM SO SORRY I zoomed through the station all sweaty like a mad man and rode the transit again (got in the correct car this time) and ppl were looking at me funny;;;;

After transit, I had to commute via jeep then walk for a bit to get to the venue. But when I stepped off the jeep it started raining like hell I thought my prints would get wet so I

AGGRESSIVELY RUNS THROUGH A STORM

I went up an overpass soaked all over ( lol and the security guard looked so sorry for me he didn’t even check my bag he just let me in. T-thank you........ ) and when I went down it had already stopped raining… 

By this time, I was power walking and I see the venue but my joints are hurting because light breakfast and almost no lunch I was thinking “I’m finally here!! Yay!” When I got inside though the escalators were dead.

The con was held at the 5th floor :)

I DIDN’T GIVE UP I MANAGED TO DRAG MY ASS AND THANKFULLY ESCALATORS FROM 3RD TO 5TH FLOOR WERE WORKING

Day 2 Table set up!!

When I got to our table there really were lots of people waiting in line I FELT SO WARM AND TENDER AND SOFT BC AWWWW (also the things that happened prior already butchered me) BUT ALSO FELT GUILTY BECAUSE IF I DIDN’T OVERSLEEP I COULD’VE GOTTEN HERE EARLY IM REALLY SORRY!!

Day 2 went by so fast for me because I got to the con late and I stayed under the table most of the time to dry myself off and rest T_T (I didnt wanna walk around with wet clothes gjkdshdgd gross) One of our table mates was sleeping under here too and I was like yea dude same.

By the time I was dry and able to roam around it was already closing time but managed to grab a few loots because they were price dropped last-minute (Oshawott and Snivy plushies). Lucky!!

Closing time was WILD: everyone was (aggressively) trading merch to each other and it was extremely sweet, fun, and cute!! lots of screaming!

ALSO?!???? Kami (@kittlekrattle) delivered my copy of the suits zine herself i met up w her outside the con???? I also kinda met her mom too gjkhfdsdjghdfg THANKS KAMI!!!

Then we had post con dinner at this Japanese food place called Yabu! They refill your side dishes and drinks for free!!! Everything was so delicious!! (except the wasabi... don’t ask...)

We kept dropping our chopsticks so much we had to ask for spoon and fork lmao

If I learned something important from this experience its to NOT. SKIP. BREAKFAST

ALSO I CARRIED THAT LARGE GRID THINGY ALL DAY RIGHT BUT WE DIDNT ACTUALLY NEED IT FOR OUR DISPLAY HAHAH ok thats it i think ill sleep some more bc im still so tired

[thekintsukuroikid]

November 12th 2017 4:11am

Tofino is never worrying about  running out of battery life, or the gas tank. Or atm service charges.

It’s is an odd place. Living on the mainland you get hit with the same cold and rain and you learn pretty early on how to shelter yourself in the rat race, to keep busy until the clouds roll through. Tofino is this weird anomalous places where people travel here for the express reason of running headlong into the rainy cold. Duh, the waves are better for surfing and storm watching. It’s weird being this close to the ocean. You’re surrounded by it here, you can hear it from the dead middle of town. It’s dark, cold and can swallow you up, and yet here we are grabbing neon coloured boards and wearing goofy rubber suits and paddling away from shore. Standing up, riding it.  There’s a metaphor there somewhere I think. A really lame one.  Suffice to say Tofino is the setting where I’ve always been most comfortable with entertaining feelings of optimism, they linger in my mind a little bit longer here,  there aren’t a lot of things here that can take them away. And yet standing here alone on this beach I still wonder what it would be like to walk into the water and let the water I love so much fill up my lungs. To finally feel the tension unclench and release. 

-

A girl bought me a drink and told me how happy she was that everything about this place wasn’t like home.

I agreed.

this trip was really about  running away.

The band getting to create beautiful music for people to enjoy on a Saturday night, Thats pretty amazing right?

I remember how hard learning 3 chords was and thinking how weird it must be to be able to do so much more but the peak of your musical ambition is playing for my drunk ass.

—

I met a girl at the merch table. She was kind and she was pretty and in our conversation about the logistics of fitting a surfboard on a motorcycle I noticed her biting her lip…and looking at mine…and exhibiting every  universal sign I could think of to express a “shut the fuck up and let’s make out already” sentiment–

“All I could do was wonder how much she’d have to know about me, to hate me as much as I do.”

This isn’t me. I’m so tired of this

I’ve been diagnosed with clinical major depression.

atleast I think thats what its called, I kinda zoned out when I hear it.

I’ve known that somethings been wrong forever but I’ve never had it named by someone else before. I’ve never been in a position where I could go out and really do that. I’ve been getting help for months but this  weekend was the first time  I’ve been able to process it all. 2 doctor’s a therapist and a councillor.  4 different opinions.  The same mdi-10 depression index score. How it works is, 20 is dysthemia or mild depression and 25+ is no bueno moderate depression. 30+ is major depression. I figured I’d be around 18-19 with my shiny psych degree and my practicing of mindfullness and understanding of CBT and readings of Dr. Marsha Linehan and Brené Brown.–-

I got a fucking 38.

Of all the fucking tests to ace I sure know how to pick em lol.

Talk therapy’s helped narrowed it down, where In reality I’ve likely been dealing with this for over a decade. I could have and likely should have gotten help when I was in early highschool/late middle school. The fact that I’ve never been on medication pretty deeply concerns my therapist. I still don’t know if I want the pills, I stare at the prescription sometimes and wonder what the sweet fuck I’m going to do. It’s hard to plan things in a pros and con’s type of scenario with brain altering chemicals, like its not like theres a frame of reference or anything.  I’ve always been  getting by with habits and discipline. Reading ahead, doing homework early in case I sleep through my classes again. Never letting anyone get close enough to be in a position to judge you.  Never be vulnerable. You’re not cool enough to have baggage.

It’s not like I’m like this all of the time. I have good days, mostly when I’m around other people, even strangers. It’s when I’m by myself for too long that it starts to creep into my mind, a little voice getting progressively louder and more persuasive. I Have fun by remembering what it’s supposed to feel like and selling it to everyone who can see me. This isn’t the stereotypical 3am negative thoughts, I mean those happen too but its more like 3pm, in the middle of my group of friends laughing, just getting hit with this whole body feeling of dread and trying to crack a joke anyway.  I then follow this with sullen, silent car rides home or 45 minutes sitting on the shower floor wondering if I’ll always feel this numb?

That’s the worst part…the numbness of it all. Losing hours in the day to this thing that I can’t even really describe. I never get mad or sad or happy just attenuated, dulled versions of these emotions.  I’m scared of heights, like really fucking scared of heights but I learned to rock climb because fear hits me in such a meaningless way now. This is such a weirdly strong biological component.  I feel like I can never move forward to create myself because I’m always looking back, trying to get back to how I used to feel. That’s the one thing I know is missing, that sense of self that guides my decision making. I’ve never been able to go with my gut, the kind of spontaneity and passion and creativity that comes with that,  Instead Its always minimize the damage, lower the risk. I feel inadequate in every measurable and measurable way, to the point of it being physically crippling. 

I’ve been really fucking good at hiding this. Its the thing I’m honestly the most proud of, which is a bit counterintuitive.  It’s allowed me to flip something that feels so intrinsically selfish and allowed me to keep focus on the people that are important to me. It’s allowed me to learn some really important lessons about friendships and relationships, coping and empathy, all without the vulnerability of facing those things head on. Depression to me, at least  the way that i’m doing it (which I know is the wrong way to think about it)  is this selfishness I don’t want to indulge.  

There is massive guilt with this. I have so much. I have taken so much time, love, energy, money from the people in my life and I feel like I am and I have so little to show for it. That I am a highlight in every  worst way, of the differences between what is good and what is just nice. but the thing is  I’m starting to realize that this thing, this depression thing it couldn’t give less of a shit about how you rationalize it, its taken better people than me, I’ve seen it first hand.  

For me this thing hits two-fold. Its the physicality of these symptoms I can no longer ignore or fight through.  Messed up eating schedules, sleeping too much or too little,  missing classes, being late to events or appointments and just constantly feeling zoned out, in a daze.

On the mental side of it, its been management. I’ve been in a dark place for a long time and my diminishing ability for me to manage these mental health symptoms means that I feel increasingly less equipped to take on this complete feeling of stagnation. This shit takes work. It’s like im trying to carry a weight with broken arms and no cast. It’s a  feeling that even if I had an opportunity, job or otherwise,  I lack the tools and the self belief to actually be and do what I want. It is such a weird sensation to feel the slide from wondering how to make it by 30…to wondering about making it to 30. 

 I Try to work hard to be grateful and find the joy in things. I spend my days trying to bridge the gap between the humility of recognizing this reality, with the ego of thinking I deserve better.  I mean maybe this is as good as it gets? Maybe some people just spiral. I hope that isn’t me, I don’t want to see how far this rabbit hole goes, I don’t want to become what its trying to make me become, I think thats why I work so hard to keep being extraverted.  I try to be around my friends, especially if I know  that they have it a lot worse or are facing a difficulty. Being empathetic to what they’re dealing with makes you feel like a bit of a daft jerk for dwelling your own bullshit. That used to keep things quiet long enough. Then again you don’t win a fight by closing your eyes.

—

I went to the bar in Tofino where I bought my first legal drink and I  thought about all the drinks I’ve had since then. I got hit with this really intense feeling of dread. Not that I had wasted all that time in those  5 years, Worse still,  That I’ve never truly had the ability to truly appreciate all the amazing things that have happened since then.

Even if I couldn’t feel it I wanted to do the logical work towards getting out of this. I learned really early on  to  focus not on building a resume but on building a eulogy. To live a life well lived. To do things not for the spoils but for the man I’d become in the pursuit.

In the 5 year since I’ve been back to Tofino, I’ve hated that man.  I still hate him. I am so much of what I told myself I’d never be: alone, weak, and of little consequence.  I’ve tried everything to fix that man and I still can’t explain where that process went wrong.  I’ve tried to surround myself with people who I love. But never letting them get close enough love me because of a combination of never feeling like I deserved it and never wanting to be burned or betrayed for being vulnerable.  

I don’t know if I can really get better I don’t really know what better is. But trying has to be better than this. Thats the funniest bit about this, I don’t even think I can really imagine what better would be like, what the absence of all this would feel like.

I just know that there is more than this…that maybe I can be more than this.

I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.— Anaïs Nin, The Diary Of Anais Nin, 

I  want to make all of  this mean something. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything. I just know that  I could set myself on fire to keep others warm. If I couldn’t feel wanted, or that I deserved to be wanted I could at least make people comfortable.  I never knew there was a difference between  happiness and the distraction from sadness. I would just connect to benevolence. I’d try volunteering, donating time and money partly because I enjoy those things, but deep down in a small way it was also an attempt to try reconciling the diminishing potential I felt.  If I kept doing the right things, things would turn around, that I could out work this thing I was fighting. It was all just heading to nowhere,  I realized I could get hit by a car tomorrow and nobody would know this truth about me, the uphill clawing. I think now  I want to turn this pain into something tangible for myself and others.If this is rock bottom I want to look around,  I want to carve my name in the rock beneath my feet and remember what this feels like. I never want to know it first hand again.  Maybe this is that first step. Who the hell can see forever but maybe I can just win tomorrow.

— This is the most I’ve ever written about myself and it’s a hell of a lot more than I’ve ever wanted to. Hell it’s the most I’ve ever thought of myself and part of me  feels like this sounds really self obsessed. But I think, at least I hope, it’s just a self awareness that comes from no longer seeing the contrasts in life.

If you are reading this it means that 1) you’ve found this randomly, and in which case… “sup?” or 2) you are one of the maybe 4 people I genuinely trust to tell this too without fear of being treated differently after doing it. If it is option 2…Surprise? I’ve worked extremely hard to make sure you couldn’t have seen this coming. It also means that you’ve shown me love  implicitly in such a way that removes so much doubt, I hope you know how powerful and beautiful that is. 

I don’t know man I think this is all really just about wanting to feel that oneness  with myself again, to finally find peace one day. I don’t have to live, I get to, and I want too. The world is abhorrently beautiful  man. daunting, ridiculous, backbreaking and gorgeous. I want to feel all of it,  I want to find my place in it and I can’t do it alone. Not anymore.  

Happy Birthday to me. ayeee.

[kittyboo8015]

So I’ve been working on this drabble for a couple of days and somehow it grew to 2045 words. This one’s for @survey-corps-rookie based on an AU she told me about involving Comic book nerd Levi meeting his favorite actor, Erwin Smith. I wanted to do this as a thank you for always helping me find merch I’m looking for and I really enjoy talking about Eruri together. I hope this turned out ok. Also thank you to everyone whom looked over this for me, I appreciate it so much<3 I’m gonna just post now because the wind is blowing pretty hard right now and I don’t want to lose power XD

Levi checks over the items in his backpack one last time before zippering it closed. He slings it over his shoulder and takes a quick look in the mirror. He adjusts his glasses and grabs his keys off the dresser. He tries to ignore the nervousness in his stomach as he heads to his car. The day of the Con had finally arrived after an agonizing 6 month wait. Levi had rushed to register  as soon he had seen the poster in his favorite comic store advertising this year’s  special guests. He would finally get the chance to meet his favorite actor, Erwin Smith. 

Levi had never been a fan of movie versions of his favorite comics. They always butchered the plot and the casting was always terrible . One boring Saturday night about a year ago  had changed his mind. Hange and Moblit had dragged him to some shitty remake and Levi had only tagged along because Hange always got free tickets from their job at the theater and he had nothing better to do.

At least he could kill a couple of hours by pointing out every single plot hole and have a good laugh at the shitty acting that was sure to accompany it. His mind had been changed that night. For the first time ever, Levi had watched the entire movie. The film was still loaded with flaws but he was too mesmerized by Erwin’s performance to notice. As soon as he had arrived home, he went straight to his computer to find out everything he could about Erwin Smith. 

 .

Levi pulls up in front of the house shared by Hange and Moblit and honks the horn impatiently. After a few moments the front door is thrown open and a slightly disheveled Hange exits being trailed by Moblit. Levi’s irritation leaves his face temporarily at the sight of them. He unlocks the doors and tries to bite back a laugh when Hange slides into the back seat trying not to lose her wig while Moblit gets in next to Levi. .

“Took you long enough, we have to be at the hotel by two pm for pre-judging for the cosplay contest!” Hange whines, wig still slightly off center. “Do people even watch “Sailor Moon” anymore?” Levi questions as he pulls away from the curb. She straightens her tiara with a huff. “Pretty bold coming from a grown ass man who still plays with toys!” She snaps. “They’re action figures and I collect them, there’s a difference!” Levi shouts back. “At least I don’t guilt people into wearing lame costumes!” Moblit turns nervously towards the window. “ Tuxedo Mask isn’t lame, right Moblit?” Hange asks. Moblit  just nods and continues to stare out at the road.

Two long hours later, Levi pulls into the hotel parking lot. He huffs in annoyance as Moblit helps extract Hange from the back seat after her boot somehow got caught. They finally make their way to the hotel entrance from the parking lot. After obtaining their passes they decide to split up and meet again later in time for the signing. 

Nervous excitement is still buzzing through Levi’s veins just thinking about how close he is to meeting Erwin. He checks his phone and sighs upon noticing he has some time to kill. He heads into the dealers room to see if he can score some more merch for his collection back at home. 

Levi’s collection was small, only being able to buy figures here and there when he had some money to spare but it was his pride and joy. He kept them on a shelf in his room he had built himself and cleaned them once a week to keep them from getting dusty. 

He makes his way around the rooms, stopping when something catches his eye. He ends up buying a couple of keychains to add to his backpack and makes his way back to the lobby. He takes a seat on one of the empty couches and just people watches for a while. 

He lets out a small laugh when he receives a text from Hange bragging that she and Moblit had managed to win 3rd place in the Cosplay contest. He jumps slightly when the alarm he set goes off indicating that it was time to get in line for the guest signings.

After meeting back up with Hange and Moblit, they slowly make their way through the queue. Levi tries to get a glimpse of Erwin and then curses himself for being too damn short to see around the large crowd. “What’s the matter shorty, do you need a boost?” She says with a grin. “Ow, I was just kidding!” She cries when  Levi casually stomps on her foot in response. 

After an eternity of standing in line being subjected to Hange’s litany of complaints about starvation and tingling in her foot, they finally approach the guest table and Levi can feel his heart hammering in his chest. Now that he has an unobstructed view, he can clearly see Erwin and he is a hundred times more handsome in person. As Levi approaches him, Erwin looks up at him and smiles and Levi swears he feels his heart stop. 

Levi gasps as he is thumped on the back by Hange. “Aren’t you going to answer, Erwin asked you  what your name is?” She hisses quietly from behind him. Levi feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he looks up at Erwin who is still smiling and waiting patiently. “Um, I-I’m Levi.” He manages to stammer. Erwin extends his hand to him. “Nice to meet you, Levi.” He says, grasping Levi’s hand firmly shaking it causing Levi’s blush to reach up to his ears.

Levi places a poster and a couple DVD cases on the table for Erwin to sign. “Oh, so you’ve seen some of my movies?” Erwin asks as he starts signing. “He’s seen all of them at least a hundred times and he’s the president of your fan club in our city!” Hange  chimes in from behind and Levi just wants to sink into the floor. 

“I’m sorry, someone obviously forgot to take their meds this morning.” Levi apologized, glaring daggers up at Hange. Erwin turns to Levi and smiles warmly. “No need to apologize, I am honored to meet such a supportive fan, thank you Levi.”  He gazes sincerely up at him with his beautiful blue eyes and Levi almost melts. Levi looks down at his hands.

“Um, it’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Smith.” He mumbles. Erwin chuckles. “No need for formalities , just call me Erwin.” He finishes signing and slides the items back across the table. Levi quickly but carefully returns the items to his bag. “Thank you, Erwin.” He replies shyly and gets ready to leave.

“Wait, Levi, I would like your email address if you don’t mind, I like to keep in touch with my fan clubs, I wouldn’t be here without them after all.” He says handing Levi a pen. Levi takes it nervously and scrawls down his name and email. “Thank you, Levi, I appreciate it.”  Levi’s cheeks heat up again. “No, problem.” He says with a small smile. “I’ll be in touch.” Erwin takes the paper back with a smile and waves at Levi whom waves back limply and walks away with Hange and Moblit in tow.                    ________

It was about a week later that Levi first heard back from Erwin. He honestly didn’t think he would ever hear from him in the first place. Erwin was a popular actor and a very busy man. Levi was sure that Erwin was just being polite after Hange had embarrassed him. Levi wasn’t mad at her though he knew Hange long enough to know that she tends to get overexcited sometimes. 

Late one evening, he checked his email like he always did before going to bed and to his surprise there was an email from Erwin. Levi felt a flutter in his stomach as he clicked it open. Levi had expected that it was just a formal mass email that was sent out as a formality but the only recipient of the mail was himself. Erwin had thanked him again for the support and coming out to see him. He had ended with a few questions for Levi about his hobbies and what fandoms he was into. Levi carefully typed out a short response and hit send.

After his initial response to Erwin, Levi started receiving messages from him once or twice a week sometimes less when Erwin was busy filming overseas. They started small, exchanging small talk about their lives and backgrounds. Levi found out that they were only five years apart in age when Erwin had mentioned he had just celebrated his thirtieth birthday a few weeks prior. Over time they had learned that they had quite a bit in common. They both were  collectors of comics and both got their start from their parents.

 Levi told Erwin how his mother had bought him him his first comic and how that day was was one of his favorite memories of her. Sadly she had gotten sick and passed away when Levi was still very young and that comic had gotten lost between moves to foster homes. Levi always keeps an eye out at cons hoping to find a copy of it again someday. 

Erwin had gotten his start by collecting with his father. He would go to the comic shop every other week with him and add to his collection. Levi chuckled when Erwin told him that his dad still sends him a comic occasionally in the mail. As time moved on the emails moved to Skype, and recently the occasional text. Several months before the con came into town the following year, Levi had received a phone call from Erwin saying he was invited to attend again and that he would like Levi to come as his guest. 

                         __________

Levi draws in a deep breath as he knocks on the door to the room where Erwin was waiting. As soon as he enters Erwin walks towards him with a smile. Levi blushes and pushes his glasses back up as they slide down again. Erwin tries to turn away quickly hoping Levi didn’t catch him blushing. “It’s good to see you again,Levi.” Erwin says reaching out to shake hands. Levi can’t help but notice that Erwin’s hand feels just as clammy as his. “Oh, I almost forgot, I have something for you!” Erwin replies as he grabs a package off of a table and hands it to Levi.

Levi tears open the paper carefully and tears almost spring to his eyes. In his hands was a copy of the comic he had lost long ago. “How did you find this?” He asks softly. “I called in a few favors.” Erwin replies and invites him to join him on the couch. “Thanks but you didn’t have to do this, and I didn’t bring you anything.”  Erwin smiles. “You coming here was enough and besides I owe you an apology.” Levi raises an eyebrow at him. “Apology? For what?” He asks, confused. “I wasn’t exactly honest with you, when I asked for your email address because of the fan club, I have people that take care of that for me because I’m so busy.” Erwin averts his eyes momentarily.

“I just wanted an excuse to talk to you again.” Levi is silent for a minute. “So you made up some bullshit excuse to talk to me, why?” He asks, cheeks still slightly pink. “I thought you were cute.” Erwin admits nervously. Levi feels his heart race slightly. He chuckles. “Apology accepted, and Erwin?” He asks moving closer. “Yes?” Levi moves forward and kisses him on the cheek. “Maybe, I think you’re cute too.”

[lifegoeson-wecarryon]

Youtube AU Chapter 5

YouTube AU That-Doesn’-Have-A-Name-Yet Words:1057 AU Summary: Simon and Baz are popular YouTubers with a rivalry. Chapter Summary: Penny teases Simon. Agatha talks to the mysterious man. First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter [ Wow, I’m late yet again. Only a day this time though! Shoutout to @cloudyrainyday for the beautiful fan-art that inspired the first scene~ ]

[ Penelope ] I hear Baz's voice echoing from the living room, and I roll my eyes. With a smirk forming on my face, I grab a new bottle of lipstick that Agatha bought for me yesterday and put it on. Then, I pull my phone out and open Snapchat. I walk into the living room, taking a picture just in time to catch Simon looking up and blushing profusely. "Gotta love this shade of lipstick," I say out loud as I type the caption, "It's called 'at winged mage busted watching at fangs and flames' videos." "Penny! You can't-" "Whoops." I say, clicking the button to add it to My Story. He groans, pausing the video and putting his head in his hands. "You are literally the worst." I laugh, slightly. "Relax, it's not like he's going to see it." "Still," He tries, "So many shippers know your snap, you're just fueling them." "Technically, you're the one fueling them." "I hate it when you're right." "I'm always right. Guess you constantly have a bad time then, huh? Sorry about that." He rolls his eyes, tapping his fingers on his laptop. I know he wants to keep watching the video, and he's growing impatient. My smirk returns. "Hey, Simon. You all packed for con next week?" "Do I really have to pack anything?" "Simon. It's con." "It's local." I roll my eyes. "At least pack a few things, Si. I don't want a repeat of last year." He visibly tenses up, remembering last years monstrosity. He stands up, closing his laptop and setting it on the table. "Fine, fine. I'll pack one bag." "Two," I say. "Two bags. That's it. I don't like carrying stuff." "Says the boy who bought so much merch last year that we still haven't figured out where to put half the stuff." He rolls his eyes, walking to his room. "Oh, and Simon?" He turns to look at me, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah?" "Baz might be coming." His eyes widen, before he shakes his head at me in disbelief. "No way, he lives on the other side of the continent." He shakes his head again, as if emphasising his point. "And he hasn't posted anything about it on Twitter." "Course you would know, you practically stalk him." "Shut up. Why do you think he's coming?" I grin, thinking back to the Snap I received from Baz's roommate. "Oh, just a feeling. And you never know, Simon. He does come from a rich family, so it's not doubtful that he would be able to afford plane tickets." He shrugs, before walking into his room. I know he's going to start packing. But of course, he's Simon Snow. He'll get distracted, and I'll have to pack for him. I might text Agatha. I'd be nice of her to come with us, considering it's her last year in the area. And plane tickets from America are expensive, even for her. I walk over to the bookshelf we have near the telly. We have a few framed pictures sitting here. I pick one up. It's a picture of the three of us- Agatha, Simon, and I- from when we went to our first gaming convention. Agatha was Simon's girlfriend at the time, so she got dragged along with us. I set the picture down, smiling upon the memory. I've been to conventions before that- anime and comic ones- but gaming was a whole new concept to me. It was like entering a new school for the first time, or moving to another country. It's been a while since I've felt like that when going to a con. Simon and I have been going together for years. But it's still fun to look back at how new we were, and how it felt like to meet fans for the first time. The look on Simon's face was priceless when someone ran up to him, asking for a hug. We even got a few gifts, despite not being all that popular at the time. We still have a few of them scattered around the apartment. Simon insisted that we vlogged our first con experience, so I could possibly find it in the depths of our channel if I really wanted to relive it. Instead, I pick up one of the books lying on its side. (I put the books I'm currently reading on their side so that Simon doesn't take them.) Eleanor & Park is a good read so far, and I'm almost done. I have roughly one hundred pages left. I walk over to the couch and sit down. When I open it, I make a mental note to text Agatha when I'm done reading, which shouldn't take too long.

[ Agatha ] I'm out grocery shopping when I see that man again. He's walking along the sidewalk as I exit the store. He has his hood up, but he passes me as I step out. When I see his face, that feeling of familiarity washes over me again. But from where? Should I talk to him? What would I even say? "Uh . . . Excuse me, sir?" He looks back at me curiously, and I'm able to look at him more clearly. God, he's attractive. "What is it?" He says, sounding annoyed. He has a different dialect than other people here, and I feel my face heat up. It takes a few moments for me to think up a response, and he turns to walk away. "Wait! Uh . . . ," I take a breath, and smile when he turns back. "Do you like dogs?" "What?" "Dogs. I saw you at the dog park the other day." His face turns red slightly, and I giggle. "It's okay, I love dogs too. My best friend has a German Shepard, and I play with him all the time." He nods at me, then goes quiet, as if he's debating on whether or not he should say more. An awkward minute passes, before he walks towards me. "Do you need any help with your bags?" He asks, "I can help carry them to your car, if you want." My bags are kind of heavy, and I have my phone on me in case something goes wrong. "Sure," I say, handing him a few bags. "Thanks!" I smile, and he responds with a nod before I lead him to my car.

[nintendroid]

Nintendroid Goes To The Lexington Comic and Toy Convention!

WOW, where do I even begin? I just got back from an amazing three-day adventure courtesy of the Lexington Comic and Toy Con in Lexington Kentucky.

This was my first convention experience and it was an overwhelmingly positive one. The people, cosplayers, vendors, atmosphere, and all the other elements that made up this convention all meshed together to form this piece of Heaven on earth.

All three days that I was there, I didn’t see a sour face on anyone. From the oldest person, to the youngest child, everyone had a smile on their face and a sense of wonder from the sights and sounds radiating from the convention.

It may sound like i’m pulling your leg, but trust me it’s something you have to experience for yourself to believe.

We arrived Friday morning around 11:00 to get our press passes and to get a layout of the Rupp Arena. Walking through the double doors, we were greeted by a two-story tall, inflatable Mr Stay Puft from Ghostbusters. This thing was a perfect introduction on what to expect for the next three days. Being a huge Ghostbusters fan, It plastered a smile on my face instantly.

You could feel the buzz in the air from the crowd that was starting to gather. The energy of it all was so exciting, it was infectious.

While the main entrance was open, the the actual convention floor itself was closed until 1:00. So for two hours, I wandered around, looking out the windows and debated on buy artisan chocolate from a nearby chocolate shop. Eventually I just got in line with everyone else.

 Being the goof that I am, I stood in line waiting for the doors to the main convention hall to open, until a member of the staff came to me and said “You have a press badge? You can go on in”. I’ve never walked into a place so fast in my life. 7 years of goofing off on Tumblr was finally paying off.

 This is where the action was, (or was gonna be). A big open floor filled to the brim with vendors of all kinds, accompanied by celebrities, guest artists and writers lining the walls of the convention hall. I stood for a moment and just took it all in. It was total sensory overload.

The way I was acting, you would’ve thought the hall was built of gold. Treasures of all types covered this place! I tried to keep it cool, and for the most part I did, but every once in awhile I’d let out a shriek or a audible “Oh my gosh”. For the sake of saving myself from embarrassment and keeping my finances, I mostly just walked around and took some pictures and sternly admired a few choice items.

I noticed some of the celebrities were already at their signing tables getting ready to sign autographs. Immediately I hunted down Charles Martinet’s  (Voice of Mario, Luigi and a ton of others) table. He was there but I wanted to be respectful and wait until the floor was open to everyone.

While waiting on Mr. Martinet I found some great vintage gaming merch scattered throughout several vendors (Tengen’s “Tetris”, and vintage Mario and Luigi dolls just to name a couple) I kept my cool and left my wallet alone, until I came across a vendor selling vintage trading cards. Without a blink I spotted Nintendo GamePaks, Video City Video Game Cards and finally, trading cards from the Super Mario Bros movie!

The vendor owner saw me staring them down and said “Oh man that movie was awful. Do you know they just released a special edition of that movie on blu-ray?” I answered yes and with a smile he said “I wonder if it comes with a letter of apology!” This guy was the man.

I bought 10 bucks worth of cards, but he knocked 2 bucks off so I was a happy camper. I could’ve went home at this point and been completely content with my experience.

Once the doors opened, the convention floor was chaos! Attendees ranging from casually dressed families to men dressed as dinosaurs and women dressed as Harley Quinn flooded the floor. It was exciting and made the atmosphere much more epic. People were stopping to take pictures with the cosplayers and nerds of every fandom were having loud conversations about everything and anything. These were my people and I felt right at home!

I went by Charles Martinet’s table again to see about an autograph and he was actively signing and cutting up for the people near his table. I’m not very good with talking with strangers, especially celebrities, but this was important and had to done!

Charles signed an 8x10 made out to myself and my wife and was doing the freakin’ voices of Mario characters while doing so! He done several, Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, and the baby versions of Mario and Luigi. The guy is super talented, and my wife and I thanked him for his work, shook his hand and departed. As we walked away, we both geeked out and laughed like uncontrollable idiots. Thanks Charles!

After a couple more hours, we finally went back to our hotel for the night and took a moment to soak it all in. It was just the first day and we had a blast!

Saturday was even better, the crowd had doubled in size and the convention floor was swimming in Dalek’s, R2-D2’s, and tons of Stormtroopers. We browsed around for several hours, shared an elevator with Deadpool and Spiderman and brushed past Jason Mewes (“Jay” of Kevin Smith’s “Jersey” movies) outside smoking a cigarette and playing on his phone.

I swear I think I could just about name everything in the building I walked around it so much. I have blisters on my heels from the shoes I was wearing because I almost refused to sit down. It broke my heart when we finally left today, but rest assured I will be there next year.

I want to take a second and say THANKS to everyone behind the scenes at Lexington Toy and Comicon for hooking me up with press passes and making my first convention an amazing one. I’ll forever be grateful for the opportunity you guys gave me and I can’t wait for next year’s!

 As a show of gratitude to all the vendors that I bought from, here are their business cards and contact information. Be sure to check them all out!

[canaryatlaw]

Well, today has been long but fun. My alarm went off at the lovely time of 8:15 am which was wonderful after we had stayed up till like 3 am last night because Jess wanted to keep talking about BTS (I’m not even dragging her, that’s literally what happened) so getting up was fairly painful but I made myself do it. Got dressed into my new Captain Marvel tank top (the first of my new ones, I’ll wear the second tomorrow) and did my makeup all nice because photos lol. I got my con bag together and once we were good to go we headed to the lobby by where the hotel had the continental breakfast set up. There wasn’t a whole lot of options so I ended up eating a waffle (like similar to eggo pre-made one, not an actual waffle) with a sausage patty and a bowl of Froot Loops lol. During breakfast I went to check my bank account on my phone before I pulled money from the atm and realized the money I’d transferred to it from my other account went through so I could book the San Diego comic con tickets, so we double checked that this was the best time for them price wise (apparently the predictor app for these things was like “BUY IMMEDIATELY”) so we did get them, money came in and out real fast lol but I’m happy knowing that we have the flights set for it, and I’ll now have the job flexibility to go without having to worry about missing work, and I’ll soon have more money so I won’t have to worry about that either! Lol, hopefully anyway. Once we finished breakfast and had everything figured out we ubered over to the con center.

Had to walk a bit outside to get to the right entrance, and then had to wait in line a bit to get in. They didn’t have metal detectors or anything, they were just checking bags, nothing too serious. We then had to retrieve our passes from their ticket booth area, then spend a minute “activating” them by typing the code on the back of them into their website (not sure why they decided this was a feature they needed). We then had to have our badges scanned to get into the show floor. The whole thing was set up in one giant room, which I definitely like, lost perspective of where was where in it very quickly lol it was easy to get turned around. We started weaving up and down the aisles starting with the first one and going down. The main feature of all of these was of course the KPop merch that was present at almost all the anime booths, conveniently located in one row designated “anime alley.” So we spent a while going through that, both the good and the bad lol. There were of course horrifying knock offs that I will never get out of my mind, but there were also some awesome things like KPop meme pins which were fucking hilarious and Jess bought like 10 (not exaggerating, it was like 10).

Once we made it through most of the vendors on the floor, we finally went to check out the celebrity section. Kiefer Sutherland was there and I wanted to see him, but he was only doing today and his line was NUTS. They didn’t have the celebs prices posted anywhere other than all the way up at the front of their table with a sizable line in front of them, but from what we learned about the prices this was definitely a pricey con, like $60 was a common amount for a selfie from like, some lesser known celebs like the guy who played Nate’s dad on Legends who’s still riding out his con glory days from being in back to the future however long ago that movie was made (I could check, but I don’t really care enough to do so). We ended up getting in his line for like a minute before he had to leave for photo ops, he ran by us and promised to be right back, he seemed like a pretty funny nice guy so that’s always good. We ended up just deciding to hit him up tomorrow when there will likely be less people there and we can split a selfie so we’re not spending too much. I love Kiefer dearly, but I did already meet him in Connecticut last year and his prices were super high and I’m trying not to spend too much money so I decided I’d pass on him for this one. I of course know him from 24 but apparently most of his con appeal is from a movie he made when he was a youngin (and I’m sure I’m dating myself as a child by revealing that I don’t know what movie it even was, but apparently he was very popular for it). It was definitely more of an “old man’s comic con” than some of the more modern cons we’ve been to so a lot of the guests were from like classic movies and such. I did want to potentially meet Kristin Kreuk but her line was also super long and her selfie was $60 and there wasn’t anybody I could even like split it with lol and that was a lot so I decided to pass her up for today, I may reconsider tomorrow but we’ll see.

Once we had completed going through all the vendor aisles we spent a while running through the artist’s alley, and then to their little food section to get some lunch. They actually had quite a selection of varying foods, we ended with poke bowls (but with cooked meat because raw fish at a comic con probably isn’t the best plan). We sat and ate for a while and then got to meet up with some friends that we hung out with for the rest of the day. After we finished eating we took them back through most of the KPop stuff before going back artist’s alley and coming through there for a while. I ended up purchasing a really cute Captain Marvel print, which I justified by saying since I had just put the other Captain Marvel poster on my closet door it was now my Captain Marvel door and needed more themed art. I got a plastic sleeve for it before realizing quite how big it is (it’s an 11x17) and won’t fully fit in my backpack so we might have to get creative in how to get it home, I may just ditch the plastic sleeve and end up rolling it up hoping it doesn’t get damaged. I also got matching buttons with Jess of the Spider-Man pointing meme with one spider-man on each button pointing to each other which were pretty great, so we had to make sure we were walking on the right sides of each other for the rest of the day lol.

Once we’d hung out there for a while and seen most of everything we wanted we decided to head out and get some food. We ended up walking a bit to the con center’s official rideshare pick up area apparently and then ubering the like two miles to the restaurant. It was a pretty nice place, I ended up getting “shrimp vodka pasta” in their half size which was still more than I could finish lol but it was really good pasta so I was pleased. Afterwards we walked around the little area outside for a bit and ended up sitting down at a table and just talking for a bit. Eventually some like hella loud music started playing and they were apparently kicking people like out of the public space for some event they were doing, so we ended up walking across the street to a parking lot and going our separate ways via Ubers from there. Jess and I went back to our hotel room and basically just chilled for the rest of the night which was nice, I’ll probably try to go to sleep soon since I’m pretty tired, but right now I’m having like hellfire acid reflux and I don’t even know why so I may end up staying vertical for a while longer because going horizontal tends to make it worse. But yeah, I’m gonna call it a night from here. Goodnight lovelies. Hope you had an awesome Saturday.