#I HAVE SO MANY PLANS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
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sarah-sandwich-writes · 7 months ago
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another time, a different place (I have loved you before)
I’m intrigued 👀👀
( ☆ω☆ )
The first chapter is up even though I only have a very rough not quite 5k written so far, which is something I haven't done since my very first fic ever so like heeheehoo hope it works out, but I want to make sure I actually write it bc every time I rediscover this wip I fall in love with the premise all over again. It's gonna be a biggun tho I fear *sigh*
It's an endgame fix it fic! Featuring a fresh outta the soul stone Peter and (although he doesn't remember him) Harley. There are lots of flashbacks to Harley and Peter's time in the soul stone, but neither of them remember it, they just have strange dreams they don't quite remember and a lot of deja vu when they interact.
The MOst Fun THing for me right now is the dissonance between soul stone Harley (a joy! a delight even!) and present day Harley (what crawled up his butt and died??) and the most difficult thing about it is, due to forces outside my control (the mcu timeline) they're high schoolers 😒 which is fine I just am tired of writing high schoolers. Basically the timeline thing is specifically designed to torture me you don't even KNOW what I mean but someday you will and we'll all look back at this post and go sarah wtf why didn't you just go full au so you could age them up and not have to-- THAT"S NOT THE POINT!!
Anyway! Here's Peter being a grump, Harley being a dick, and Flash being obnoxiously attention-starved <3
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MJ squints at him. “How do you guys know each other?”
Harley weighs Ned and MJ with a look. “Depends. How much do you know about your lunch buddy’s nighttime pastime?”
“Not here,” Peter snaps. Then he adds, because how could he not, “They know more than you.”
Harley tips his head and, curious, looks at Ned and MJ anew. “Huh.”
“Wait, how much does he know?” Ned demands.
“Later.” Peter looks around, but no one seems to be listening. On the other side of the room, Flash is telling anyone who will listen about his spring break plans in Norway. He pushes away his crumb covered tray and skewers a glare on Harley. “Why are you here?”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know, because you live in Tennessee?”
Harley pops a torn off chunk of greasy bread in his mouth and says, “I live in New York.”
“Since when?”
“Since I moved here. What’s with the interrogation? Pepper thought you’d be excited.”
“Ohh,” Ned interjects. His expression compresses into a pitying wince. “Did you know Mr. Stark, too?”
“Not h—,” A hard thump on Peter’s back interrupts his repeated warning.
“Are you still still peddling that tall tale, Penis?”
He grits his teeth and doesn't turn around. “Go away, Flash.”
Flash straddles the bench beside him and raises his voice. “Wow, the man’s dead and you’re still trying to ride his coat tails. What’s it like to be that desperate to be someone important?”
“Fuck off, Flash,” MJ says with a note of warning.
He puts up his palms and gets louder. “Honest question! I have no idea what it’s like to be a poor nothing orphan who has to make believe he’s a hero to justify the drain he is on society and his family. Well, what’s left of his family anyway.”
He was concentrating so hard on not letting his irritation show that he missed Harley getting to his feet and rounding the table. But there’s no way anyone could miss him hauling back a fist and planting it square in Flash’s mouth.
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rocketbirdie · 5 days ago
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face value
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tumblweeds-omegaverse · 5 months ago
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random omegaverse thought:
There must be people who experience specific instinct things with indifference or boredom.
Procreative cycle coming up? "Crap, I've got plans this weekend...stupid skip weeks."
Caught an intriguing scent while walking? "But I need to get to work! Shut up brain."
Had a snap response to a distressed sound? "Who was it?! ...right, it's my day off, I can go back to sleep."
Somebody growled at them? "Kid, I'm not a rival, that's my sibling."
Super cozy cuddle session happening nearby? "I'm gonna pass tonight guys, no social battery left, maybe next time."
Group of friends heading out to flirt and check out other singles? "I'm coming with you but only to make sure you all get home safe."
Setting where fated mates or soul bonds or permanent marks are a thing? "Meh. I don't really want one or care if I ever get one."
People in the actual omegaverse would get as bored of their stuff, as we do of ours, you know? It could be interesting to see that kind of vibe in fics. Biological demands faced with all the excitement of paying bills or doing laundry or tying your shoes.
Even if that kind of energy might not drive a plot, it could be interesting to have as a contrast to the people who do have big feelings about them - good or bad.
There's the friends who can't wait til they have a pack of their own, and the one friend who isn't against it but couldn't care less. There's the group in the office who are all about scent compatibility tests and figuring out one's best match and what sprays most highlight it, and the coworker who has no intentions on putting that much effort in. There are parents who hover and protect their offspring by scenting them multiple times a day, and others who don't see what the fuss is as long as it's done in the morning.
...also: packs with introverts who show care by giving each other space. So often, closeness is depicted through physical touch and tactile affection, but comfortable silence is meaningful too. Knowing people are near, but not having to interact until you're ready. Sitting in the same room doing different things, knowing that all it takes is a "hey, look at this" to share what you're up to. People understanding and accepting each other's differing or fluctuating needs for how and when to recharge. Seeing somebody reaching out or sharing space, beyond what's their norm, as a signal of the fact that they care.
#omegaverse worldbuilding#a/b/o worldbuilding#a/b/o dynamics#kinda#not gonna tag sfw though it mostly is#heat/rut mention#twovvie chatters#hi its me im introverts#a version of me in omegaverse would love to live in a pack house#as long as i could have a space to myself#people nearby? good! people around all the time? uhhhh#even my family knows that after so many hours of fun family party#i'm gonna disappear to whatever room has the fewest people in it#or find a random corner and start reading#“oh! i didnt know you were here” yes that was the plan#also i just find the idea of someone#who couldnt care less about pairing up#to be funniest in a setting where that's a big deal#“too bad you havent found a mate yet” “no i already know who it is”#“congrats! when do we meet them?” “oh i didnt mean that i'm going to date them. i just know who it is.”#“but i thought you were single?” “yup.” “don't you want a mate?” “nah too annoying.”#cycle day? nice i get a free day off work#cycle day? ugh not this again#the duality of man (a/b/o edition)#granted i hc heats/ruts as heightened libido and greater fertility#because i dislike elements of heats/ruts that (imo) mess with people's ability to freely consent#if the only non-sexual options are pain or solitude and the species needs compaionship as much or more as regular humans#then not being able to or being unwilling to is like a punishment for those people#sure stress or other needs can short circuit it (irl) but theres plenty of reasons to not be interested that arent “you have a problem”#surely i'm not the only person who reacts to various body requests with “later i'm busy” right?
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yuriyuruandyuraart · 5 months ago
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Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D
I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.
Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.
I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!
I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.
I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer
I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.
So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3
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suusoh · 3 months ago
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gonna b slightly honest here. but i've been losing my writing flow lately because of how terribly shy i've gotten..... which, is really ironic and no bueno for a blog that's built and thrived on being shameless at the start 💀
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outlying-hyppocrate · 4 months ago
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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mbirnsings-71 · 2 months ago
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when none of the DC friends are online right now so I'm just crying about Guy Gardner by myself-
#Madi rambles#HE MAKES ME SAD SO SAD#do I have gripes with N52? yes- so many- especially for Diana's wonder woman run that was a shitshow#but so far the GL corps (while I have a few issues with it) has been hurting me with Guy's characterization#in both good and negative ways but mostly in the way that the guardians are trying to tell him that they see value in him and that he's bee#overlooked by all the other earth lanterns and he just laughs at them cause he's really still expecting to be reprimanded for something-#Like he doesn't know that the Guardians are lying to his face and toying with him to get him gone from the corps so they can continue their#rise of the third army plan WHICH IS A WHOLE THING AND GUY ENDS UP IN JAIL ON EARTH IT'S A WHOLE THING THAT'S SO MENTIONED IN MY RISE OF TH#THIRD ARMY RECAP DOC TRUST#But Guy doesn't know that right now! He is just laughing because he thinks they're screwing with him just on the general basis that he neve#seems to do anything right in this corps#Like even with arguing with Saalak he said “Trusting Sinestro to do the right thing's like trusting me not to do the wrong thing!” LIKE OW?#Just oh his characterization makes me sad this is a man who has been overlooked again and again and doesn't believe anyone would ever think#he did the right thing and has come to terms with that and HE MAKES ME SAD GUY GARDNER YOU MAKE ME SAD#and don't get me started about how they changed basically ALL of Guy's lore when they rebooted to the N52 like it's actually insane
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total-drama-brainrot · 5 months ago
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Oh boy 5am! Time to lay in bed and think about how much I hated Julia's off-screen villainy in s2!
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seaofreverie · 1 month ago
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I'm back and Guys they played my favourite song they played where your eyes don't go and they played spy and last wave and the darlings of lumberland and let me tell you about my operation and
#my back hourts ough. and i totally froze my ass of standing in that queue in the rain for 2 and a half hours#but well it was worth it for the spot right by the stage!!!!!!#and oh my gosh. oh mmy god. this was so!!!!!!!#well first of all it was so damn fun i was bouncing and singing along the whole time#and there were so many great moments even besides the fact that the setlist was AHHHFHG SO FUCKING GOOD?????#and it actually got even more crazy during the second sent it was all just one 'no way' moment after another#and my pal got the setlist i'm so happy for them..... but uyeah i have so much to talk about#i'm totally making that proper concert review later and going into detail on all the stuff#and i actually got many more videos than i planned because as i said there were so many 'NO WAY i gotta record this' moments#like i actually don't know if i should just put them on youtube and link them here or what#because i have the entirety of spy recorded among other things#well first i'll need to make sure that the videos came out ok but i probably shouldn't have to worry about that much#thankfully my brother's phone is pretty well suited for this kind of stuff unlike mine#anyway will get into all that later like later next week even maybe so when i'm back home#in the meantime i'll have to reflect on all this anazingness. oh my god this was so awesome.#as my pal said it's so easy to undestand now why there are people who go to hunderds of their concerts and never get bored of it all#so worth the wait i love you tmbg i had so much fun aaaaahhhhh ok going to bed now i'm so tired but very happy#goosepost
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supercantaloupe · 3 months ago
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okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.
first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers
i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.
the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky
they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)
and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)
all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably
the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.
and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)
2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night
and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated
though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream
i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.
anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)
i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.
#no one respects a galant recit anymore. smh#sasha speaks#sasha reviews#don giovanni#opera tag#Really weird production. seemed designed to piss me off specifically in many aspects#frustrating in others because it DID have a lot of (mostly and regrettably squandered) promise that shone through in moments#but the singing was good. when there Was acting that was good. the desserts were good. the narration was dogshit i hate that so much#could not have fathomed producing a performance with a narrator replacing a recit#ZERO clue how they plan on applying that model to fanciulla later in the season.#if they do at all but it seems like a Thing for this company maybe? idk#don't know if i'll go see their carmen next spring. maybe it depends on my schedule#i think carmen might suffer a little less from the narration treatment comparatively since it can already be done with dialogue#as opposed to recit#idek how you'd do a puccini like that though. unless you just completely disregard narrative flow and comprehension#which honestly maybe they do. at least the flow part. including narration feels like they WANT comprehension (even if they do it poorly)#but don't seem to care about the flow considering how it butchered one of the best operas in the repertoire so far.#seriously if you just do what's written on the page for dg you have a slam dunk. and they deliberately chose not to. baffling#anyway carmen is at the french embassy next spring so maybe i just go to practice my french.#and see if they compete with austria for their refreshment spread.#and yes i realize now that part of the high ticket price is meant to cover the wine and desserts but i still think it's kind of ridiculous#okay done now bye.
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spacebubblehomebase · 7 months ago
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Love your art!I Know what it feels like to be an artist I'm one myself and let me tell you its hard,because everyone says your art look good but when you stare at it to long all you can see are the flaws
Haha! The way I feel this in my SOUL, but ty.
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It's exactly because of this that I regret to inform everyone that due to demand, I am only able to answer a handful of Asks at a time between updates for my AU. It's the only way I could keep up between posting schedules and my real life commitments. Rest assured, I'll continue to read them all even if I'm not be able to answer them at the time. Still, there's always a possibility that I would do so in the future, so don't be afraid to send them my way and let me know how you guys feel about my work! Art really is a tough passion to pursue, but having you all enjoy them makes the hours I question if it's even worth it, well... worth it and I'm grateful for everyone's patience with me so far! TvT
-Bubbly💙
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walkinaroundtheuniverse · 9 months ago
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more Cat than a Man, that CatMan
so i love blondjow as any other cultured person, but, hear me out
he's actually a cat. always was, and now unfortunately isn't
and that's why he's so destructive, and mad at aizen
imagine, the tragedy of being turned from graceful and strong killing machine, literally natures favourite
into a hairless monkey
with a part of you made into a steel stick
(also! the predator! made into prey! the disgrace of this all! (imagine that as if an offended cat said it) )
So now, not only i look at Aizen and see a dude that mastered pokerface when all he did was "random bullshit go! (if something sticks, i'm saying it was planned (ekhm, White))"
But also the CatMan, actually a Cat, unfortunately, now a Man
(and playing loose with canon, i like to imagine, that from Adjuchas, his vasto lorde form would still be a cat. No "going to be more humanoid" shit. No, this is a cat. If every hollow is striving to be a vasto lorde, coz then you have more humanoid shape and feel a bit as in past, then, he being a cat, would mean he is gonna go back to being a cat)
And also the way his resurrection is him goin' partially back into cat form plssssssss COME ON, LET HIM BE A FURBALL
also it would be interesting. I don't think (don't know) if it was mentioned - any other, than human, soul turning hollow. So he would be speshial <3
that was me playing with canon, having watched it a long time ago and still not finishing the manga, don't take this seriously
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girlivealwaysbean · 25 days ago
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hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now
#like i know i know im sad and hurt but in my heart even the worst breakup friendship or otherwise can kill my hope#like i know this is gods plan for me this is my arc but god it's getting worse and harder everyday#i thought nothing could be worse than yesterday but i hadn't lived today them#then*#i need to talk to someone so bad oh god sl yesterday i had the exam right#and like i don't even know what happened i thought i was going to fail even after giving my 2000% studying#for like 10 hours a day for 15 days for this one exam#and i was panicking and shivering so bad that my heart felt like it would fly out of my chest it was beating so hard#and so fast it didn't even beat like that when i climb too many stairs#and i tried to deep breathe but nothing worked it was so scary like yeah i get stressed sometimes#but this was another level so scary i was nauseous too#and then i clicked submit and i got 82!!!#when i was so sure i was gonna fail because i was only sure about 54 marks answers and the passing was 50#and i got really happy and relieved and then i realized. oh. i don't have anyone to tell#like yeah i told my dad and he was like oh cool ofcourse you did very good#because he doesn't GET it that im not smart anymore and 10th cbse is not an accurate measure of intelligence#he wasn't even happy or surprised he was like well nice obviously#and that's it. i didn't have anyone else to tell#granted i hadn't even told anyone i was giving the exam. i mean i say anyone as if im swimming in friends#only have one. two if u stretch. and i didn't say. cause like idk doesn't really seems like anyone cares#and aah stupid emotional me before the exam i was feeling sad and trying not to panic (??? why??) and CRY in the car because i was thinking#that how my mom always drops me to exam centres and we talk i play music and when im getting out she says all the best beta#and the beta. wow i typed this and immediately have tears in my eyes now. i don't even understand why but#idk i made it up to be a little tradition in my head and i really wanted to call my mom and say mom pls can u say all the best#to me now bc i think ill fuck it up and im really scared and maybe if u give your blessing it'd be okay. but then i thought how embarrassin#it wld be if i failed. bc we don't have any kind of rship my mom and me. and then when she heard i passed from dad she didn't even call me#or anything. thank god i didn't do all that drama but fucking hell. this is all just for me right nobody cares not my parents#and it's too difficult im crumbling under the pressuee but i have to grit my teeth and do it or ill never be able to get out of this house#and i know ill find people when i do get out. but in the meantime. please god ji just one person idc who girl boy friend or love ANYONE#ik it's weak & ik i shld be enough on my own. but pls i just CAN'T.they dont even have to put up with me they just have to care a bit
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featheredomen · 25 days ago
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...wondering how dramatic it would be to buy a mini fridge and stick it in my room because my brother refuses to understand that sometimes I purchase food and drinks that are specifically meant for me, and when I write my name on them that means that they are in fact, not for him
#it's a silly little thing but i have a very particular need to plan things#even things like meals#i like knowing exactly what i'm eating - and even what i'm drinking with it - and when#even little snacks#so when i buy food and drink it's a very specific amount and i have a very specific idea of when i'm going to eat/drink it#so when my brother takes any (or all) of it it throws me off#especially because i don't have a car so i can't just drive to the store and buy new stuff#i either order everything at once to justify delivery#or i go when my parents do and buy stuff then#stuff he takes is not conveniently replaceable for me#i miss my housemates man#if we didn't buy something we knew it wasn't for us#my brother just has no consideration for people#not just when it comes to things like food just in general#if he wants something he takes it and if anyone else wanted it they should have been faster#though the family attitude of 'if it's in the common area then it's for everyone regardless of what you want'#is helping me understand why i'm so feral about people touching my things without permission now#the food thing is just a symptom of a larger problem that will never be resolved#because i am the only one in this house who considers it a problem#it's a lot of little things that are building up and driving me crazy#hi there these tags are brought to you by someone who is writing her problems down so she doesn't go postal irl#i'm venting to keep calm#and i am calmer now so that's good#feathers speaks#i might buy the mini fridge#it's only a couple hundred dollars and it can sit on my filing cabinet and i can just turn it on/off as needed#plus with christmas coming up i don't think it'd hurt to have more fridge space#my only real concern is how many appliances/electronics i have hooked up in my room#i'm wondering how much the power point can handle before shorting out
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journal-three · 2 years ago
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i mean idk i dont think buying the game makes ppl bigoted but like i dont think giving money to ppl who produce questionable content is... the best idea. i mean i get that jkr's rich already but we dont gotta make her richer. but like i agree about like the harassment for like some streamers like wth ppl need to chill a little
like obvs im not gonna call someone transphobic bc they bought the game but i am gonna go "bruh 🤨"
also like. idk i feel like it's fine if you pirate the game and play on ur own bc like. no money. no audience. like all you're doing is playing on ur own and no one's affected by it. idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
that's fine! saying "bruh 🤨" is a completely acceptable response. You can absolutely advocate for people not to buy it, and not give her more money. all of those things are good.
The ONLY thing I'm asking is that people are less accusatory and vicious about it. Being critical and educating others is a good thing. But no one learns anything from being screamed at that they're a horrible person, and that's 99% of the reaction I'm seeing. Completely over the top.
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lith-myathar · 2 months ago
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#i genuinely think some leftists on this website care more about taking a shit on the libs so they can feel#morally and intellectually superior and self righteous than they do about doing fucking anything within their own power to combat fascism#it is one thing to hold the corrupt establishment accountable and another thing entirely to just refuse to participate#in any kind of political action that isn't protesting#and don't misunderstand me protesting is something we SHOULD do#but you cannot FIX the problems if you are point blank unwilling to settle for anything less than The Revolution#because knowing literally anything about the history of revolutionary movements in the world will tell you that even when they succeed#the process of then creating something better in their place is long and difficult and boring and highly complex#and just as vulnerable to abuse and corruption than the thing they're replacing if not moreso because of the instability that comes#with throwing down an old regime via armed conflict#i don't know what these people fucking want is what i am getting at bc a better world does not magically spring up in the aftermath of war#like do you want to work to FIX the shitty house we all have to live in or do you just want to burn it down with no organized plan#or willingness to work with people you don't entirely agree with to build a new one?#like i am not even necessarily AGAINST burning the shitty old house down but frankly i don't think any of you fuckers#know anything about construction#or project management#and also by the way there will definitely be innocent people who do not deserve it who will die in the house fire#many of whom will be the most vulnerable people among us who will have the hardest time getting out of that house fire#if we can't get our shit together enough to cooperate now how exactly the fuck do you expect to do it when the time comes to BUILD#instead of tear down?
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