#I HAVE A FUCKING DEGREE WHY CANT I GET A FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!!!

[yourheartinyourmouth]

i fucking hate my life.

one of the other tenants has been constantly turning the heat up to EIGHTY even though it hasn’t dipped below 40. this lead to the heating bill for the unit being like, $300 more than the rest of the boarding house.

so, since we are apparently untrustworthy children and not adults who can be reasoned with, the landlord came while tenant was at work and put one of those plastic locking boxes over the thermostat. tenant came home ranting and screaming, calling husband and me bitches repeatedly, yelling abt how he always gets the mail (?), screaming about how we went behind his back to the landlord (we didn’t), and then SLAMMED his door as hard as he could.

screaming and door slamming are so fucking triggering for me. i had a melt down verging on anxiety attack.

i absolutely Do Not Feel Safe Here.

[tamaharu]

so scary... everythings so scary... (<- just signed up for a dorm that is both shared room and doesnt require a meal plan [will have to purchase my own food somehow])

[north-wilkesboro-moonshine-cave]

not to be a colossal fucking cowabummer about everything but it really does suck that like. my really chill and like. supposedly more realistic type of career goal feels about as unattainable as like a kid saying he wants to be a singer or something

[silverislander]

people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?

[etoile-gracieuse]

why. why does it take a masters to become a librarian. my bachelors is LITERALLY 90% of what the #1 program in the states is. so like let me pick up the 10% on the way i just want to be Happy

[cass-cc]

it's been a hot minute since I've been this physically uncomfortable somewhere I pay rent

[undyinglantern]

being closer to your 30s than 20s and having nothing to show for it is so

[homicidal-lingonberry]

.

[dockaspbrak]

😵‍💫

[kingxfmischief]

Ughhhhhhhhh

[angelquts]

havent felt this directionless and like my whole existence is completely pointless in a while

[trendfag]

anyway if my grandpa werent dead id kill him myself

[silverislander]

prof said congrats for writing up a proposal so early i am going to get a good grade in. well this is literally going to be graded. but yk the meme

[gyupinkys]

FOUND YOU

Yandere Jihoon x fem reader.

WC: 3.8K

Jihoon was never one for relationships. His stoic behavior tends to bore the ladies, but he's had is fair share of flings. However, when some low life hacker tries to access his files; he cant help but look into you more, and some more, and a little more until he becomes obsessed. Jihoon makes it his mission to find you.

WARNINGS: YANDERE, stalking, DUB CON, phone sex, spying, unconsented filming, use of sex toys, fingering, mention of kidnapping, sugar daddy Jihoon, bratty reader.

A/N: i love this fic and I love you woozi.

One semester left… just one. Why on earth would they raise your tuition by $5,000? Are they forgetting both of your parents are dead and you have no job? The financial aid office is no help and you're already about $10,000 in debt. How nice. You look at your computer, contemplating. There's always that option… no it’s not safe. But damn you need money,  you need your degree, you need to get out of this fucking city and start over. You look down at your cat Bruno sitting at your feet. 

“Should I?”

He just gives you a judgemental look and walks away. This fucking cat…

You have no other choice. You pull out your spare laptop, not risking your pc getting any viruses. A few months ago you drunkenly stumbled upon a website on the dark web that gives you access to IP addresses of major company computers. You very easily figured out how to access their files, you can see everything; their expenses, investments, and payments. It would be so easy to transfer money to an offshore account and cover your traces. Scrolling through the list of companies you try to find one you’ve never heard of. More popular companies tend to have more security. 

“Universe factory?”

Hmmm. Doesn't ring a bell. It’s located about fifteen miles from your apartment so you aren't worried about them finding you. Weirdly, you can't find any bank accounts linked to this company. Scouring through some files, this seems to be a music company of sorts? You find samples of songs, lyrics, beats, and oh shit.. Drug shipments? Why is this in the music files? You try to dive deeper only for your connection to completely cut off and your computer blue screens. Fucking hell. The computer won’t turn back on and you won't have a chance to cover your tracks. So much for being computer savvy…

“Fuckkkkk” youre actually fucked. These people are clearly good if they are able to shut off your computer so they may have  already found your address by now. You're hoping your vpn and security walls help you. You get up and start to pace. Why on earth did you think this was a good idea? Of course you somehow chose the shadiest fucking company on earth. There's nothing to do now but stress and wait for your likely impending death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The fuck?”

Jihoon’s studio is his safe space. He’s lucky Cheol lets him pursue his passions on the side, this mafia thing tends to take up a lot of his time so being able to unwind in his own space is a treasure. But when he returns to his computer he senses something is wrong. Someone’s gone through his files. Now, Jihoon wouldn't be too worried if all that was on this computer was his music, but recently he’s been using the Universe factory as a coverup to store documents from past business deals. Now this couldnt have been the work of some amaetur, in order to get past all his security takes some real skill, and to be able to do it without a trace? Hm…

Jihoon looks through his files, trying to catalog all the incriminating evidence.

“Tiger’s super wicked diss track?” he speaks in disbelief. When the fuck did Soonyoung get in his studio? And record a fucking distrack? 

Jihoon runs a program to see the location of the last user to access his encrypted files. Nothing? Hmm… This is too random to be a coincidence, this person must've found his IP address and started from there. He decides to be bold and search his IP addresses on his self made database, it wouldn't hurt. 

 “ “FoundYou.com”? What the fuck?”

Well he hit the jackpot. He was able to look at who accessed this website in the past 24 hours and who interacted with the universe factory link. He traced the computer to a rural part of antarctica… ok that's definitely not the real location.  He digs a little deeper finding layers and layers of security. He’s starting to think this may not be some silly hacker and could be a rival mafia pulling at strings. After an hour he’s confident he’s found the real address and hacker. About fifteen miles from him lives a Y/N L/N, full time student, studying in computer science, $10,437.76 in debt and an orphan… hm. He looks up your instagram and woah. He wasn’t expecting you to look like that. He sees your friends, finds their instagrams, just to see more pictures of you cover his bases. Your college friends speak highly of you, your highschool friends love you, oh wow even your elementary school friends still hang out with you. He digs a little deeper, just to know who he’s dealing with. You adopted a cat a year ago, a cat who visits the vet very often. Gestational blockages, broken arm, not eating, bladder infection… This cat seems like a handful. 

“Bruno? Like Bruno Mars or Bruno from Encanto?” he whispers to himself. 

You visited the hospital last year from a broken pinky, your dermatologist keeps increasing the strength of your acne medication, you take very strong pills for your cramps. Car accident when you were 7, therapy for 10 years and dead parents?… Figures. 

Your credit card statement says a lot about you. $7 matcha lattes three times a week despite being in debt. $15 chipotle bowls and 12am Mcdonalds. You really like shopping at Adam and eve… freaky. You bought $100 worth of things from amazon yesterday. You sure do buy a lot of cat toys on amazon, this cat is spoiled. Hair dye, batteries, water bottles, 12 pound bag of skittles? 

“Woozi, what are you doing?” Soonyoung whispers in his ear.

Jihoon jumps, “When did you even get in here?”

“You get too immersed in your work, but why are you on amazon?”

“None of your business get out! AND WHEN DID YOU RECORD A DISS TRACK IN HERE.”

Hoshi’s eyes widen and he quickly makes his exit leaving Jihoon alone again. He knows he’s being a creep but he doesn't have it in him to care. You’re just so interesting.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Bruno there's no one at the door stop growling.”

You open the door to show him no one is outside, but low and behold sitting outside your apartment is a large bouquet of hydrangeas… your favorite flower. 

“The fuck?”

You further inspect the flowers, seeing a note in the center.

“My precious little hacker, I’ll be seeing you soon. P.S check your bank account - Woozi’s Universe factory.”

You drop the flowers. Oh my god.You figured something like this would happen but now that it's happening you're freaked out. God, you should have minded your business. Now the little money you had is probably gone as some sort of twisted revenge. As you login to your bank app you're sure you've lost your mind and you're seeing things. $20,000 was wired to your savings account.

“What the fuck.”

You know better than to touch this money. It’s too good to be true. But, this would pay off your debt and get you a better apartment… fuck. You check your email to see what time the money was wired only to see an email from your school saying there were changes made to your account. Can this day get any worse? But it somehow gets better, not only is your tuition paid but all your debt is cleared… you must've suffered a head injury and you're making all of this up while in a coma. 

“Bruno, I might be killed in the next 7 days… Then you’ll have to fend for yourself.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Bruno, I might be killed in the next 7 days.. Then you’ll have to fend for yourself.” your sweet voice rings out. 

Jihoon had to see your reaction to his gift. He’s glad you didn't notice the green dot on your mac as he watched you through the webcam. He loves the way you talk to Bruno like he’s a human.

It took a lot of digging to figure out your favorite flower, it was one of your security questions for your bank app. He hopes you appreciate his generosity, it’s not everyday that he goes out of his way to spoil someone. He sees you looking absolutely bewildered and he can’t help but smile. But this smile quickly drops when you turn to your computer and your eyes widen, presumably seeing your camera is on.

“YOU FUCKING CREEP!” you scream as you power off your computer, leaving him staring at a blank screen.

He just smiles in response. He’s gonna have so much fun with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The gifts don't end. Everyday at 4pm you arrive home and on your doorstep is  something new, perfume, jewelry, bags, clothes, cat toys. This person must be rich. Though today the bell never rings. You even stand in your hallway looking for the delivery but it never comes. 

“Well isn't that weird?” you say to yourself as you unlock your door.

“Bruno?” Usually he comes running up to you when you unlock your door.

You see Bruno inspecting a bright red gift box sitting on your kitchen counter. You stop dead in your tracks. How the fuck did they get in your apartment? 

“Bruno! Move away from that.” you say and scoop him up. 

Oh god. This is getting insane. Leaving the gifts on your doorstep is one thing but coming inside? 

You stare at the gift for an hour. You're too afraid to open it. That is until it starts to vibrate. Is this a fucking bomb? You jump and open the box, seeing a brand new phone… Um Ok? The phone is receiving a call from an unknown number and obviously you don't answer it, setting the phone back down only for the same number to call again. You hesitantly answer. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, my love.”

“Who is this?” 

“Don’t worry about it, yet.”

“Ok, I’m gonna hang up.”

“Y/N, I wouldn't do that f I was you.”

“Stop being a fucking creep and sending shit to my door step.”

He just laughs.

“I left one more gift for you, why don’t you go look.”

You sigh and walk to your door, looking out the peephole first and opening it, picking up the large box.

“Are there killer wasps in here?” you sarcastically say.

“No, there are no wasps,” he laughs.

You open the box and pause, turning your head to your computer to see your camera is on.

“Are you watching me?”

“I’m always watching you, love.”

“God, youre a fucking creep, I should call the cops.”

“And tell them what? You tried to hack me and steal money from me? That you're a dirty little hacker and a thief?”

You’re starting to get upset, this is fucking insane.

“Open the box, love.”

You look at the computer and flip him off before opening the box. You gasp. This fucker sent you sex toys? 

“ALL YOU DO IS SHOW ME HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING PERVERT YOU ARE!” you yell into the phone.

“Is it so bad I want my baby to feel good?”

“I’m not your baby! I don’t even fucking know you.”

“I know you don’t know me but I know you. I know everything about you. Your favorite color is blue, your favorite food is Japanese curry, though you eat kimchi fried rice the most. You adopted Bruno because you needed something to keep you company since you don't really date. Your best friend moved away eight months ago and you two don't really talk anymore. Should I continue?”

“What the fuck.” you say with wide eyes.

“Baby, don’t get scared. I’m just so in love with you I need to know everything.”

“Um.” What do you even say to this?

“And don’t pretend this isn’t your darkest fantasy. I’ve seen your tumblr search history.”

Your eyes somehow widen. He got you there. Just the idea of having a clearly rich man obsessed with you would be enough to make you wet if he wasn't a pervert. 

“I want you to take out the shibari.”

You pull out a pretty blue vibrator. It’s even your favorite shade of blue. 

“Ok?” 

“I want you to use it for me.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Baby, I wouldn’t want to do things to make you upset, but I need you to listen to me. I’m not above blackmailing you and I’m sure you wouldn't want me to come snatch you up.”

Your jaw drops. 

“Youre fucking crazy!”

“Baby, you just make me feel so many things for you.”

You groan, cursing yourself for ever being greedy and trying to steal.

“What do you want me to do?” you sigh out.

“Take off your pants and sit on your desk chair.”

“Do I have to?” you pout looking straight into the camera.

“Yes, baby. I want to see you.”

Why is this making you wet? God, you fucking hate that this is exactly the smut you would always search for. You groan at the situation, yourself, at this mystery pervert.

You shimmy out of your pants and sit in your desk chair. You put the phone on speaker and set it down.

“Now what?”

“Turn it on and rub it over your nipples.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I’m sure the guys waiting outside your apartment would love to do it for you.”

Your heart drops to your ass and you turn it on, quickly putting it on your nipple.

Jeez, this thing is powerful. You let out a breathy moan disguised as a sigh.

“Run it down your body.” 

You slowly drag the vibrator down your body, your breathing becoming heavy. 

“Put your legs up on the chair and put it on your clit over your panties, I wanna see you soak through them.”

You put the head of the vibrator on your clit a little too hard making you jump.

“Slow your roll baby.” he laughs, making you roll your eyes.

This vibrator is on a different level from the shitty ones you have. It feels like you're being stimulated throughout your whole body, everything is vibrating and you feel yourself leaking. 

“I can see you getting wetter baby, fuck. I bet that pussy tastes so good.”

You moan, pressing the vibrator harder against you, feeling your toes curl.

“Does it feel good, baby?”

You close your eyes and nod, swallowing the shame. “It feels really good.”

“Move your panties to the side, let me see.”

You pull your soaked panties over and press the vibrator to your swollen clit. He lets out a deep groan. Jihoon can't believe his eyes, it’s like a dream come true. Your pretty pussy dripping wet just for him, you whining and moaning like all you can think about is cumming. He pulls out his hard cock, beginning to stroke himself, imagining he was fucking you. He would give it to you however you wanted, let you come as many times as you desired. No matter how bad you treated him, he would be on his knees begging to make you cum. The hold you have over him is unfathomable.  You’re truly like an angel sent to heaven just for him and he'll be damned if he doesn’t get his hands on you. He doesn't even have it in him to feel bad about watching you, listening to you, exploring you. In his mind you’ve been his from the moment he first saw you. His to worship, spoil, love until the end of time. You’ve become his muse, his lyrics flow out with only you in mind, he makes songs with the purpose of you hearing them. You’ve taken him over completely and he is so irrevocably in love with you. You don’t even need to love him back, he already has enough love for the both of you, and it's not like he wouldn’t be able to force you. A little isolation does wonders on the brain. 

“I need more,” you whine out.

“Tell me what you want.”

You just whine more in response, too embarrassed to speak. “You want to use your fingers?”

You nod furiously, opening your eyes to plead with him.

“Ok baby, slide two in for me. I want you to make yourself feel good.”

You listen and slide your fingers in, pumping them straight into your g-spot. You feel yourself on the verge of an orgasm, your moans becoming louder and more frequent.

“Turn it off”

Your eyes fly open. “What.”

“You heard me baby, turn it off.”

“No, no please I’m so close.”

“Y/N.”

You turn it off and throw it to the side, so insanely frustrated. 

“What is your deal!”

“You’re not cumming unless it's around my cock, baby.”

This man never fails to surprise you. “And what makes you think I’ll fuck you?”

“Trust me when I say that won’t be an issue.”

“What makes you so sure I just won’t finish myself off when I hang up?”

“I’m always watching, baby. It’s crazy how small they make cameras nowadays.”

“Fuck you Woozi’s Universe Factory.” you say not even able to take yourself seriously.

He just laughs. “I’ll be seeing you soon my love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is he named after Bruno Mars or Bruno from Encanto?” a deep voice rings out from your couch as you enter your apartment making you scream.

You turn to run out your apartment only to see two giants standing in your hallway blocking your exit. You groan and turn back around seeing Bruno sitting in the man's lap. Woah. Is this your stalker? Because if so, you have zero complaints. You’ve never been one to like guys with long hair, but his curls are just so hot and his lips.. How are they so plump? He’s wearing a tight black turtleneck and slacks with a gold chain. He looks so fucking hot, suddenly your not as pissed that he forced you masturbate for him. 

“Who are you?”

“You know exactly who I am, my love.”

“I don't know your name. Do you want me to call you Woozi’s Universe factory?”

He breathes out a laugh. “My name is Jihoon, love.”

“I’m sure you already know my name and give me my fucking cat.” you go to grab Bruno who hisses at you. You gasp.

“You little traitor.” you growl. “The real Bruno Mars would never treat me like this.” you say threateningly to the cat. 

“Ahh, Bruno Mars. I love that guy.” Jihoon says as he lifts the cat to look him in his eyes. “You want to stay with me don’t you?” to which the cat purrs. 

You’re more shocked at your cat's betrayal than Jihoon breaking into your apartment.

“Y/N, sit with me”

“No.”

He raises a brow at you.

“Fine, but not because you asked.” you pout and sit next to him.

“Are you not scared?”

“Honestly, you're too cute for me to be scared of you. Like look at these cheeks.” you say and squeeze his cheeks making him grab your hand and pull it away from your face.

“You don’t know who you're messing with, my love.”

“I mean if you were going to kill me you would've done it already. And I know you're not going to anyway because why would you waste all this money on someone you were going to kill?”

He smiles. “So smart, baby.”

Why is he calling you baby and love? This is actually kind of spooking you.

“What do you want Jihoon?” 

“I want you to come live with me.” 

Your eyes widen. The fuck? Your feelings must be visible on your face because he continues.

 “So, you just want me to get up and leave with you?”

“Yes.”

“Why would I come with you? You've done nothing but stalk and harrass me!”

“I’ve have not been stalking you, love. Everything I’ve done is a result of your actions. You decided to try to hack me which gave me access to everything.” 

“You're just trying to manipulate me!” you say and stand up.

He looked deeply offended by this. “Manipulate you? Tell me one thing in what I said that's not true.”

He has a point. You're just grasping at straw to be honest. “What If I don’t want to go with you.” you pout and stomp your foot looking like a child.

“Then I’ll take you by force.” he says with a straight face.

Oh. You weigh your options. Would you rather live in this hell hole remaining broke and sad or go with him and drain his pockets? You don’t even know where he’s taking you, he could be bringing you to a cabin in the woods to lock you up and kill you. But it’s not like you have an option and you would much rather do this the easy way.

“Ok fine. But not because you told me to” God, you sound like such a brat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six months later

“Jihoonnnnnnn.”

“Yes baby?”

“Can you buy me this?”

He groans. “Baby, what else could you possibly buy? You have it all.”

You show him your phone.

“Baby, you have this bag in three colors.” he deadpans.

“OK? This is my favorite color though.” You say like it's the most obvious thing on the planet.

Despite his grumbling he gets up and takes out his wallet, handing you his black card. Jihoon can never say no to you. Anything you ask for is yours, no matter what. Your life has completely changed since meeting him. You wouldn't say he’s your sugar daddy because you're equally as in love with him as he is with you,  but, lord does he spoil you. You moved into his high rise apartment and completely renovated it to your taste without a single complaint from him. He bought you a new wardrobe, new cars, bags, jewels, anything you could ever dream of. And the sex.. It’s just incredible. And Bruno is as spoiled as ever. He’s Jihoon’s baby despite Jihoon pretending to dislike him. You know what Jihoon does for a living, that's none of your business though. All that you care about is keeping him and yourself happy. You’ve grown more than accustomed to this lifestyle, not knowing how you functioned before meeting him. 

“Thank you Woozipoo”

“Stop calling me that” he groans.

“If you want me to stop you’ll get out this fucking studio and come to bed.”

He rolls his head to you. “Why would I do that?”

“So I can thank you for being so good to me.” you say into his neck making him groan. 

“God, baby don’t say things like that.”

“I can’t tell my man how much I want to fuck him?”

“Get your ass in the bedroom.”

[yippeeometer]

Yippeeometer, Im gonna need those Mass headcanons please and thank you

IVE WAITED YEARS FR THIS DAY!!!!!! MASSHOLES RISEEE!!!!!!!! WE MAY NEVER SEE OUR FAMILIES FOR BOSTON TRAFFIC GODDAMNIT BUT WE ARE PROUD!!!!!!!

incapable of normalcy and i truly mean that.

look theres a very specific vibe to mass and its 'will call in a bomb threat to get himself out of doing stuff he hates'

I HATE HIMMMM

so insane he's beyond dark humor atp that man grew up with puritans trying to convince him nothing was fun and now makes ass jokes for a living. what a 180.

oh and hes irritatingly cool even though hes such a dick. he's got big beautiful eyes and youre laughing along even though hes absolutely mocking u.

sports arent just sports its his way of life. which is why he wants to DIE because the red sox SUCK BALLS

sat there like a renaissance painting of despair in a dark room as the red sox fumble another game. phone illuminated w/ ny and nj sending him videos of the play with the sound of their laughter pasted on top.

'jock mass' 'nerd mass' get real he would be that one guy on the school newspaper that gets banned within the week for posting articles that are wayyyyy too radical to be necessary

he's be a journalist i fear. i fear he turns up to ur press conference and tears instantly spring to ur eyes bc hes got this shiteating grin that just says hes going to drag yours and your grandmothers name through the mud.

yk what i dont even fear. i am PROUD. no better job for a petty hoe than to write thinly veiled insults all day everyday.

sat there cackling into his computer describing one of maine's books as 'so bad its become a hatecrime to a group that doesnt exist' whilst maine actively tries to throttle him

hes such a MESSY BITCH INSTIGATOR. killing him with a rock until he's dead.

i could go on and on and i shall. man collects degrees, but not for fun as we may presume. its to win arguments against people so he can just casually pull out 'as someone w a phd-'

ok sue me he and rado would be great together. bc mass the type of guy to need to be the most impressive person in the room and anythig's impressive when youre stoned. rado sat there gasping in shock as he ties his shoelaces. gay.

if theres one mental image i have of him its that he claims that coats are for pussies to piss of ny and then spends the next 100 years only wearing t shirts and jeans. catches hypothermia 10 billion times. virginia interrogated daily for his taste in men.

ok furthermore and he cant drive. have u ever been to boston. its like a fucking psa on how to die most efficently.

[bookwormbynight]

bookworm-san, dear mutual. do you happen to have any more fem! light headcanons/thoughts? for healing, for the soul……… 😌

Darling. Gimme just a second to reread my posts on the AU and get my brain juices going again 🙏

(Also, fun fact: I do actually have my name in my lil bio bit lol! I don't think most people notice.)

Fem!Light during the Yotsuba Arc may have been more aggressive than canon Light about separating herself from a relationship with Misa, simply because it isn't assumed that "well, I'm the one who must have asked... I just can't figure out why" because that's not how her relationship dynamics work. She doesn't remember saying yes, she can't imagine why she would have said yes, Misa is clearly delusional and can fuck right off. Her aggression might be the only reason why Misa wouldn't white-knight his way into stopping the mutual lawlight murder attempt on their first "date" lmao. I can clearly imagine him trying to heroically interject and protect his girlfriend only for Light to shriek "fuck OFF Misa" so 'unfemininely' that it takes Misa a full fifteen minutes to reboot lmao.

This is me projecting because I'm a 100 pound girl with a-cups but I want Light to have small boobs (also canon Light has a flat ass anyway). Let me sexualize my body type for once, gimme that. Tiny lace bralettes, zero cleavage through a shirt neckline, barely a handful of titty and you can probably fit most of the boob in your mouth, but anybody who's interested in her either doesn't notice or actively likes it.

On a related note, average-ish height, like canon, so like 5'4 or 5'5, but small person. If that makes sense. I want people to be able to just pick her up with minimal effort because that means it would happen more often (I have friends who literally just throw me over their shoulders and walk away without asking me first) and she would fucking hate it and I think that's hilarious.

Flats-only girlie. Coward. Until L bullies her into heels for fetish purposes ONCE and Light has trouble walking and it makes her red-faced angry embarrassed which does NOT deter L in the slightest.

I think she'd wear her hair half-up half-down in a neat little clip in the back with bangs, it's very Professional and Pretty and intentionally chosen. She pigtail braids her hair at night Cinderella-style to keep it nice and L finds it annoying. The only time we would see it down in the canon timeline would be in solitary confinement, and the rain + foot scene and proceeding death scene (because that was immediately after).

For her death scene in particular, I think her hair would start up, as it usually is, but it would definitely have gone really askew and fallen out of the clip by the time she dies.

I really can't decide how exactly her relationship with Ryuk would change based on her perception of gender dynamics but I'm absolutely sure it would, whether or not we genderbend Ryuk as well. Idk, someone else help me flesh this one out bc it's all just a nebulous feeling in my head.

The daddy issues. Dude. The daddy issues would be so bad. Like, we already had "I desperately want my dad to think I live up to his expectations of me + dad is too busy with his job all the time to feel like a legit regular part of the family". Now imagine that combined with the fact that Soichiro just assumes Light has Woman Brain. "It's wonderful that you're top of your class and you're getting a degree, all capable women should go to college, but don't you think you should pick a less demanding career path so you won't have such a hard time having a family one day?? It's really sweet that you want to follow in my career path honey but I don't know if this job is good for girls like you". That scene with Namikawa would happen and L would praise her like canon and Soichiro's jaw would fucking drop. Ugh.

On a similar note I absolutely do not think Light would be able to stomach playing up the "I'm JUST a GIRL I CANT be KIRA 🥺🥺🥺" schtick even to draw some of the suspicion off of herself because canon Light already had such a hard time literally just not showing off and now add in fem! Light's inferiority complex. She would get so salty every single time people suggested it's not possible for her to be Kira ""even though I'm not"". The ONLY times she would be willing to play up the canon ditz act is when it makes her look a little careless, NEVER stupid.