#I HAD PPL THAT CARED ABT ME AND U DIDNT TELL THEM CARED TOO??????????
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[People, I'm just here scrolling Tumblr and holy shit, I have like 5 asks in my inbox that I didn't know about?????? Tumblr, why tf didn't you tell me I have people that cared?????]
#tf2 ask blog#tf2 rp blog#eepy necromancer#WTF TUMBLR#I HAD PPL THAT CARED ABT ME AND U DIDNT TELL THEM CARED TOO??????????
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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ace has the biggest, fattest crush on yuu and it's amazing how he's winning against the rest of the cast. and yes even malleus is losing against ace and i said what i said!
he canonically commuted during winter season when yuu sent an SOS, offered to sleep next to them twice, was the first one to worry about them when everyone vanished in the spectral soiree and had a mini tantrum when they didnt realize how worried he was!! and lastly had the guts to tell malleus to his face, a top 5 magician in the twst universe, that what he did wasn't cool just cause he was worried sick abt yuu (and grim and deuce ig) !!!! Also he was so fucking worried when Yuu went to STYX and him and deuce couldn't contact him?!!
Also spoiler warning if u guys dont want spoilers on his vignette on the japanese event with stitch
Like!! When he thought that gantu's robots were there to attack them and the only one present was him, Yuu and Grim, he told them to run away and get help and he'll slow the robots down until they returned!! He was like "I won't let you pass me!", and he was so embarrassed when he found out it was just floyd and stitch 😭😭
End of spoiler
He's so down bad that it's endearing !! He's the bestest boy and its sad how ppl dont like him much!! (His fucking fault tho he's so mean to deuce, i want to punch him in the face then kiss him)
*want to make it clear that i am not trying to suggest this is cannon. it is my cannon though so it goes on my blog
Thank you for sending me more aceyuu propaganda I need it on my blog and people need to see this. He is winning against Malleus for me too (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b He is a supportive and caring friend and there is so much there in game to fuel the aceyuu agenda. Honestly his little spats with Deuce are kind of funny to me. Deuce hits back just as hard (he actually has some of the better burns imho) Grim actually roasts Ace pretty good too sometimes, he's really easy to make fun of.
I do understand why people might dislike him, tsun isn't everyone's bag. Hell it isn't usually mine, but I just love how loyal of a guy Ace is. Aceyuu supremacy fr fr
#<3 asks#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#ace trappola x reader#aceyuu#i had to hold back my opinions on the other guy mentioned because it could count as slander#and i do like that character i just want to keep things more or less positive for now
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baby fever anon again. god u cooked so hard i am. a little insane help,,, also full semi public sex fic PLS i will kiss u
here r some more bcs i can’t help myself except some of them r fluffy cus actually i think cuddling w him would fix me.
woozi finding out his partner has a rlly intense oral fixation. this one’s super self indulgent. but i feel like he’d always see u with some kind of candy in ur mouth or chewing gum n one day he asks abt it. and the conversation ends with his fingers in your mouth as he splits u open in missionary.
going back to the camping thing,,, i feel like you’d both wake up in the morning n go out to join everyone for breakfast and someone would side eye the fuck out of y’all bcs they had to go to the bathroom n heard noises coming from your room last night even though you tried sooo hard to be quiet. later i feel like that member would be like “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone” n he’d get so embarrassed n red that others would think he’s Still drunk or something.
also taking care of him with a hang over :((( he’d be so clingy and i can see him being kinda snappy at other ppl but not u. if it’s rlly bad he’d probably explicitly ask u to rub his back,, or hold his hair back bcs he feels like he’s abt to throw up. woozi sick fics make me feral. i would take such good care of him UGH.
ohh god. convincing him to go on a little two day vacation when he has a little break n he’s just so,,, happy to spend time with you away from the city. something abt being in nature with you is so much more healing than it normally is. swimming w u,,, he’d pick u up n make u wrap ur legs around his waist as carries u around the pool. he’d fuck you by the pool too. n then he’d ask u to help cook dinner n he’d back hug u as u cut up the vegetables GODDDD. i feel like something would change in ur relationship after a weekend like that,,, like he’d be more comfortable with affection. you’d be sitting outside watching the sunset n he’d just have a moment of realization n then after that he’d try to shower u w more affection, even around other ppl.
another kinda drunk woozi head cannon i have rn cus im,, tipsy rn. if u both have the energy to be around svt but not enough energy to participate,,, he’d make u rest ur head on his thighs n he’d definitely play w ur hair, rub the back of your neck,, n maybe use his free hand to hold one of yours. you’d start playing w his fingers n he’d pull his hand out of your grip to brush your hair out of your face. i feel like he’s rlly only okay w kissing his partner in front of the other people when he’s drunk or tipsy cus the alcohol makes him not gaf. so you’d look up at him w a pout cus u wanted to hold hands n he’d lean down n kiss u so softly n sweetly, holding the side of your face. GOD.
ok that’s all i have for now,,, i have so many thoughts i do not stop thinking abt him ever.
Baby fever anon.. you are killing me
i didnt write more for a few but the oral fixation will have a full fic definitely cuz i relate!! And I will try to write that semi-public fic
MDNI!!
~drunk woozi~
drunk! woozi being cuddly with you in front of his members, the thought of him getting teased not even crossing his mind in that moment
drunk! woozi kissing all over your face to the disgust of the boys, yelling at you two to ‘get a room’ just to be flipped off by the man
drunk! woozi always having at least one hand on you at all times. rubbing your back or playing with your hair
drunk! woozi who settles down with you and the boys to watch a movie, your head resting in his lap, hand holding his
as the movie goes on, you play with his hand, kissing each finger repeatedly
drunk! woozi feeling shy, pulls his hand away much to your dismay, letting it rest on top of your head, petting you gently. you look up at him with a pout
drunk! woozi who will stare at your face with so much love in his eyes and when you look at him with a quizzical look on your face he just whispers ‘i love you’ before leaning down to kiss your lips
~going on a trip with woozi~
finally getting time off from work, jihoon books a trip with you
nothing crazy but he just wanted to relax with you with no responsibilities
the moment you get on the plane with you to your destination he’s already on clingy jihoon mode
he barely sees you because of his hectic schedule so he wants to have you all to himself now
he’s all on you when you finally land and get to your destination.
by the time the sunsets, you two spent so much time together: going out to do touristy things and eating at expensive restaurants
you decide to relax at the pool near where you were staying since it was late and no one could disturb you two
he looked amazing as he dipped into the cold pool, calling for you to join him
“pretty, the water is so nice. come in for a bit” he says to you before plunging his head underneath
you decide to dip in for a bit, the brisk water hits your skin as jihoon holds you by the waist, pulling you in slowly
the two of you linger in the pool, playing around like you were little kids. its definitely very late now but you wanted to soak in all the time you could with him before he had to get back to his routine of long work days
you gaze at him, smiling before saying ‘ thank you,, for this’
“there’s nothing you need to thank me for, pretty” he pulls you closer to his chest, speaking again, “wanted to spend time with you because i missed you.”
“missed you too” you let him peck your smiling lips “my fingers are getting pruney though, jiji. time for me to get out.” he nods, agreeing with you, before taking your legs and wrapping them around his waist, picking you up and walking towards the edge of the pool. he sits you down, your legs still around him and kisses you again. “go inside. i’ll be inside in a bit”
when jihoon comes back you’re cooking a midnight snack as you said. it was just simple ramyeon you found in a random store earlier but when he saw the three wrappers his heart swelled. obviously, you would’ve made some for him but just the little acts that make him love you more.
when you’re snack is finally done, you sit down with him to eat
as you eat, jihoon admires you. you were like an angel to him, glowing its you sit there.
“i love you” he mutters softly to you
“i love you too, hoonie” you reply in the same tone
“i’ve been thinking” he says, shuffling inside his sweatpants pocket “i know this is a bit rushed and i didn’t really plan anything. i was going to ask you while we were out but.. ugh i couldn’t do it. would you want to get married- to me?” he places a velvet box in front of you, letting you open it to see a ring- the ring you’ve dreamed of always having
“hoonie…” tears well in your eyes
“its okay if you dont want to but i thought i’d ask cuz i just want to spend the rest of my life with you and i know i’m always busy but-“
“yes.” you cut him off, “i want to marry you, jihoon” he sighs in relief, taking your hand in his, grabbing the ring out of the box and slipping it on your hand.
“i’m glad” he kisses you, “i love you so much, pretty”
~hungover woozi~
“ugh so bright…” his eyes close as fast as they open, the lights causing the headache he woke up with to get worse.
You wake up hearing his groans, turning to him with concern “are you alright?”
“Just a hangover.. I’ll be fine.”
you rub his chest slowly, “you need anything? water?”
“no, im fine… just need to rest” you nod, leaning down to kiss his forehead
“ill get you some anyways hoonie” you grab him some water and lay down next to him again, “let me know if you need something, okay”
“mmmh just need you” he says, his arms wrapping around you, your warmth slipping him back to sleep.
a/n: anon i didnt not give these justice im sorry😭😭😭 but i hope you like cuz the jihoon drought rn is killing us woozidans
#woozi#seventeen#woozi x reader#woozi thots#lee jihoon#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#woozi smut#woozi drabble#woozi scenarios
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Wednesdayyy📘🧪
- there s a classmate i find quite cute, his initial R📘
We’re in the same class but since we’re both special needs students we’re in the same exam room as A🩼’s class.
I just feel like he keeps glancing at me. We keep making eye contacts in class, but it’s maybe because i laugh too loud with my seat mate, everyone keeps telling us that.
But last time i went to talk to him in the exam room, before it started because i didnt really understand the lesson and he explained everything i needed to know so… softly. (He’s a great student and that’s the kinda thing i like😼) and that’s when i really noticed he was genuinely nice. I had eye contacts with him before, but i never talked to him so i didnt rlly care, but (that was tuesday) when he explained it i was thinking ‘wow he’s actually so chill and nice☺️’. And today i talked to him again abt that exam and same, he was nice. Idk how to explain but most ppl ur not friends with tend to be ‘brief’ when talking to you, if u ask a question they just answer but it’s like he actually cares about giving you an answer and chatting. it feels nice.
But now the interesting stuff..
So today… basically.
We had a presentation in class to do and for some reason L had R’s papers. R called me (we’re not even sitting that close-) during class to ask me to call L😭😭 (who is sitting super far away from me!!!:€:&;&:&@:) like still, im between them, and i guess i was the perfect person to ask since im not too far from R so i could hear him call me and i was halfway between him and L… whatever.
So i literally called L (twice because he didn’t hear me) and when he looked at me -bitch he was like
😶❓
Like BLANK CONFUSED WTF STARE
like im the last person he ever expected to be called by lmaoooo
We just had a 5 second long blank eye contact of full incomprehension like 👁️👄👁️ BAHJDKSJJDKSKDJJDKSKSKSKKSKSK HIS FACE WAS SO FUNNY IT’S LIKE HE THOUGHT THIS INTERACTION WASNT REAL (cause supposedly i hate him; and he hates me)
and i had to repeat cause he didnt understand that it was R asking for his papers back😭😭
and then he just asked the person next to him to give the papers to me and it felt so weirdddd hearing him say my name half whispered and softly (cause we were in class) but loud enoughhhhhhhhhh so i heard ittttttt… like, i love the way he pronounces it. and i glanced back at R📘 who was staring at me but like i mean i guess it’s normal since i turned my head towards him.
so L was like ‘can u give this to [my name]..’ so then i got the papers and gave them to R📘
and that’s it. But i haven’t had an eye contact especially that FUCKING long with L since.. like last year.
also i saw A who absolutely did not see me. it’s so weird sometimes it feels like he stares and at times when im literally right in front of him, it feels like he doesnt even realise i exist. like he’s not aware of my existence. im just a random person. I know he knows i exist but if he was truly intrigued by me i feel like he’d at least glance when im near him.
Anywayssss bye
#girlblogging#cinnamon girl#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl boss gaslight gatekeep#girlboss#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#manic pixie dream girl#this is what makes us girls#female hysteria#female rage#girl blog#girl blogger#girl interrupted syndrome#girlblog#girlblogger#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#coquette#female manipulator#just girly things#lily rose depp#black swan#the virgin suicides#dollette#divine feminine#im just a girl#the feminine urge
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Hi!! (Im so sorry if im annoying u guys, I just like this blog sm ok😭)
I just wanted to say that I have been relatively new to this fandom, since season 1 came out, and it was great! It felt like a space for asexual amd neurodivergent ppl, and I loved all the fanartists and theorists (still do) but after season 2, and I have a confession to make here, I too was on the "anti aziraphale" bus, properly boarded, seated and all. I know I didnt indicate that in the post I made, but I didnt self identify as one, I just "agreed" with what many of the crowd holding those setiments said. Why? My dear fellow, it was simply because of poor self esteem! I related alot to aziraphale, and so seeing those posts, where ppl talked abt traits( he and I share), like his love for his interests, his exaggerated movements, his anxieties, and seeing ppl dismiss them, or make fun of them, or call him "an emotional idiot" as that one lovely person said, well it felt like looking in a mirror, because those were the exact same things I said to myself! I told myself all those things, that I didnt deserve forgiveness from ppl I loved, when I made mistakes, I told myself that I should "tone down" my excitement for my interests, and the rest. I found myself mentally taking notes, and altering my behaviour, after reading those posts, bc hey, I hate myself for having those traits, and it looks like other ppl hate this one character for having those traits too, better "shape up" and "do better" yknow?
I stopped following thise blogs, but I still seeked the posts out. Why? Bc it felt "good". It felt like my negative self talk was being validated. It felt like I "finally" found posts that wouldnt "mince words" and be as mean, and rude as they possibly could be to him, because that was "what he, and anyone else like him deserved." (Im not saying that the ppl who made those posts said that, im saying that I made myself believe that I deserved that)
Maybe I shouldnt have internalized what the posts said. Maybe I shouldnt even care all that much abt a single character, I mean obviously the ppl who made those posts werent thinking about me were they? They werent targetting me, so why did I feel all that much. It didnt matter how much I rationalized it, at the end if the day I was making myself miserable, but it felt familiar, so I kept at it
I found this blog, and it felt.. so surreal. Like ppl were defending aziraphale? Ppl were giving him, grace? What? And then I read the analysis and responses that u guys gave, and realized that I also had biases, and I found myself giving more empathy to aziraphale, and then I found myself extending that same empathy to myself. I also started going to therapy also, and I realzied that no, I made mistakes, but I am human, forgivable, that my interests arent things to hide, but rather things that make me happy, and that I shouldnt be harsh to myself bc of that. It all progressed slowly, but I could feel myself becoming, happier. I didnt hide my excitement, I didnt tone down my "exaggerated" movements. I started treating aziraphale's character with love and lo and behold, I found myself loving myself too.
I have bad days, I still do. But they are lesser in number now. Whats the point of this long ass ask? Well, I want u to know that u guys are essentially teaching ppl to be more empathetic towards others and sometimes towards themselves, by being being empathetic towards aziraphale. U are telling people like me, indirectly ofc, to love who we are, and to give ourselves grace. And that while aziraphale (and ppl like him) maybe flawed, that shouldnt warrant hate, but rather understanding. U guys are wonderful, and I promise u, u guys are helping❤️
Im sorry to whoever that person was that left, im sorry that they were harassed as I am sure, those werent ur intentions. But what I am trying to say is that u are not making this fandom more toxic. U are helping people. U guys are a breath of relief in the fandom. Pls remember that.
(Sorry if this is too long to read, or too emotional, ive been in a bit of a mood I suppose, and being vulnerable like this is terrifying but agsjsgkahsbs what can one do, have a great day!🤗)
My dear, I'm so humbled to read this. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. As an autistic person, watching Aziraphale ever since 2019 has helped me unmask a lot, so I totally understand how the bad criticism towards him may have pushed you into masking yourself. It does hurt 🫂
I'm so happy that we've helped you on your journey and that we even helped you seek therapy (everyone should and every time a friend tells me I helped them get there I feel like I won in life). This is what we aim for here in this space, this is what makes it all worth it.
Thank you for the reassurance, it is very much needed sometimes. We want to fight toxicity, not contribute to it, and feedback like yours is very much needed to know we're on the right path. We hope to bring comfort for those who are feeling harmed by the situation.
And of course thank you SO MUCH for sharing your feelings with us, this is the juice we need to keep going 🩶
And finally: remember that you are and will always be good enough and that you deserve better. And no matter what, be yourself! Good luck and we're glad to have you on our train 🥰
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i am losing it the tiniest bit .
googling like "my mother treats me like a child" or wgatever just brings up like ppl talking abt their mothers not wanting them to grow up or not giving them enough freedom which is a valid problem and one i have but it is a completely different problem from the one im looking for information on which is that i am a 20 year old man and my mother babytalks at me like a four year old on a regular basis. its drivng me fucking crazy but i dont want to argue and she wouldnt listen anyway she'd probably just be like "i dont do that" which .okay. but like holy fucking shit it is SO annoying and demeaning and WEIRD.
and like i can handle it when she treats me like. a teenager. like whatever im 20 close enough i dont care. but when she treats me like im 10. or 7. or fucking 4. its like. what the fuck is your problem.
and like okay i was thinking abt this the other day bc i was talking 2 my dad like just hanging out and he was treating me like a Person and like. idk i feel like when he had kids he was Expecting and Excited for us to turn into little people with our own thoughts and free will (maybe not the transgender communist thing i think that was a bit far but he's always been supportive in terms of like. me being my own person otherwise).
and my dad volunteers at church with some of the kids like 9-12 age range, and a lot of them have rough home lives and 'act out' cuz of that and he's very patient with them and helps them with what theyre going thru and generally just acts like theyre little people. because they ARE little people. like he genuienly cares for those kids and is always like... taking them to the park and stuff but also like, being character witness for their parents' custody battles n shit like actually helping and suppotying them.
whereas my mother volunteers at church with babies and toddlers and its almost like she sees them as pets. and will complain abt them being annoying or MEAN if they cry or dont want to play with her. like she's nice to them but she will complain abt it as if theyre trying to spite her
and i feel like she didnt become a parent bc she wanted to raise a small human i feel like she just wanted a pet. and shes been better with my sister but when i was a kid the second i was like 6 and developed some free will she kinda like. Moved on from me LOL. and stopped caring abt me outside of like. buying food. wire mother type shit. idk it's just really obvious that my dad cares abt these kids as people but my mother cares abt them for only as long as they dont upset her or do something she doesnt want them to. if that makes sense
and idk its like. i am 20 years old. im not going to go back to a 4 year old with no sense of the world outside of u because I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD. I HAVE LIVED ALONE IN SCHOOL I HAVE GONE TO THE DMV I HAVE WORKED A JOB I HAVE DEALT WITH MEDICAL EMERGENCIES ON MY OWN . i have had to make my way through every single social problem and mental health problem and shit since i was SIX bc thats when she stopped giving a shit about me. im not a child anymore
but i think its also part of why im so fucking bad at Being An Adult. bc she never taught me how do to any of this shit bc she was busy pretending im still a little kid. and now im too anxious to figure out how to do things on my own and i dont know how to ask for help and everything is very overwhelming and she tells me she wants me to get a job but doesnt help and she acts like she wants me to leave but she doesnt tell me that or help me leave and i am SO FUCKING SICK of living at home but i dont have the money or the skills to get out
and she's NEVER helped me with adult stuff either . the only thing i can think of is when she took me to the bank bc i needed her signature to take her off my bank account . otherwise my dad has been the one to help me with college applications + college stuff in general + finances + jobs etc etc . whereas my mother ACTIVELY LIES TO ME ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO TRY TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY OWN DEBIT CARD !!!!!!!!!!
and it's this fucking exhausting mix of signals where she's like "u need to get a job u need to learn to drive u need to do this and that" but also she Literally , not exageratting , treats and talks to me like i am a child . i am so fucking sick of it it's unreal . i am going to lose my fucking mind .
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SO I was like travelling in bus for my.classes nd im usually a person in public transport who is like quiet minds my own business nd doesnt talk to anyone cuz maybe either om too sleepy or using my phone nd yesterday in saw this guy on my bus he was wearing all black suit nd he had his ear pierced (cuz men over here dont like to pierce their ears cuz its feminine 💀) nd that guy was standing in front of me I was like observing him like I liked men black tuxedo okay cuz they look so good 😵💫😵💫😵😮💨😮💨nd I was thinking of completing his outfit nd I was like contemplating whether should I or should I not nd I was get so FUCKING anxious 😭😭 like me who has never complimented a stranger (not even a women is going nd complimenting a MAN ITS A BIG THNG ND IM LITERWLLY MY MIMD EAS SO BUSY DESPITE RUNNING ON 4HRS OF SLEEP) nd ykw im the end I ended up complimenting him nd before my stop I said ur outfit looks really good nd I like ur bag too nd he was literally smiling ear to ear so cite nd before he could say smth my stop came I was literally SCREAMING THE WHOLE WAY UNTIL I FOUND MY SENIOR 😭i jad to pull my my shit together nd talk to him ndi after I finished talking to him I was literally screaming nd sending voice notes to my frnd (hey sending voice notes r a BIG THING nd I never send voice texts unless I cant type.out my thoughts nd to arrange them properly im a text message nd I couldn't call the fuck.down I LEGIT WENT TO RESTROOM ND SCREAMEDDDDDD WELLL im becoming more loose like ND WJEM I COMPLIMENT ITS LIKE I DESCRIBE EVERY ASPECT OF IT ND TELL IT TO PPL ND IT ENDS UP WITH THEM BLUSHING ND I WAS Literally TRYIJG MY BEST NOT TO STUTTER 🥴🥴ND I ENDED UP GWTTING SHT AFTER GIVING THE COMPLIMENT 😭😭😭💀💀LIZ IT WAAS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER ND I TOLD ANT THIS TO 3 OTHER FRNDS ND THEY ALL HAD fucking diverse opinions like 😞😞😞imma cotinue it in the next ask 🥴🥴
olay so I told abt my adventure to 3other frnds one of then whom I told first thought I jad a crush on the gut like a fleeting crush who im never gonna see again (sue was genuinely.confused olay so o said I just liked how he dressed up nd yes black tum 💀🥴🥴im on my knees okay )
another frnd I told (she is the most logical one) she said guys get less compliments than girls nd u just made his day nd said when u get dressed up nd someone acknowledges it u are jiet over the moon nd she was also proud of me for implementing a stranger cuz it takes alot of courage
thw last.frnd I told she said u go on doing this nd make.every guy fall for.u 😭 im like im an over exaggerator who compliments in a very descriptive way nd I cant change it cuz it what it is nd imo descriptive compliments >>>>one line compliments (idk why I prefer it )
anw liz have a good day taake care of urself.ilyyy (2/2)
MISS DIORWOO!!!! IM ALWAYS THE HAPPIEST GIRL WHENEVER I HEAR FROM U <33 (my response is under the cut, u better bUCKLE UP !!)
HI HELLO SORRY IM??? ON THE FLOOR??? ALL BLACK SUIT WITH HIS EARS PIERCED???? PHEW 😮💨😮💨😮💨 U BETTER SIGN ME UP BCS I ALSO LIKE MEN IN BLACK TUXEDOS rawr (also i’d probably simp for u if i ever see u in a bus BCS U GIVE OFF THE MYSTERIOUS QUIET VIBES😵💫sorry oops off topic!! ANYWAYS) SMNDNDNDNS RUNNING ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP BUT U STILL HAVE UR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT MHM I KNOW THATS RIGHT !!!!
ANNDNDB. FBDBDBSBSJJSJSS KYAAAAAAAAWQAAASSS WHEN U COMPLIMENTRD HIM OMGG FNDNDHDJ 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 HIM SMILING EAR TO EAR !!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 HELLO THIS IS LIKE THE START OF A ROMANCE MOVIE ?????? A SCENE OF THIS (ghibli style) IS LITERALLY PLAYING IN MY HEAD RN I CAN SEE THE VISION OMG AND 😭😭😭 STOPPPPP HE DIDNT GET TO SAY ANTUTHING BEFORE U GOT OFF UR STOP OMGMDNDHDHD IM SO UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH THIS WOULD BE A HOLLYWOOD HIT ISTG 😭😭 also
u: *internally screaming and dy1ng* 🧍♀️
ur senior: 😃👋 (HE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT U JUST WENT THRU!!!!!)
ALSO URE RIGHT VOICE NOTES ARE A BIG THING!!! JSNSJSJJSHS I WOULD ALSO DO THAT IF I WERE U BCS MY HANDS WOULD BE SHAKING AND I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO TYPE 😭😭😭 (im hoping no janitors were traumatized in that toilet </3) ALSO YEAH UR COMPLIMENTS ARE SERIOUSLY THE BEST ITS PEAK BCS I BLUSH BEHIND MY SCREEN ALL THE DAMN TIME !!! JWBDJSJSJ
A FLEETING CRUSH WHO U WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN???? PLS DONT BREAK MY HEART NOOOO 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😞😞😞😞😞 (im gonna manifest that u’ll meet him again soon I HAVE MY PRAYER CIRCLE READY !!!!! 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️) honestly,,,,, so relatable i too would get on my knees for any man who dresses well and esp in black (the bar is so low its IN HELL)
NAH BCS IM GONNA GO WITH UR LAST FRIEND BCS IM PRETTY SURE HE FELL IN LOVE WITH U !!!!!! WHEN U COMPLIMENTRD HIM AND UR GAZE MET HIS, THATS WHEN HE KNOWS !!! ITS U !!!! U’RE THE ONE HES BEEN LOOKING FOR (sorry im obv over the mOON THIS IS TOO CUTE) but yeah im also so 🥺🥺proud🥺🥺 of u for complimenting a stranger bcs that takes balls that i dont hv I MEAN IVE NEVER ATTEMPTED TO DO IT BUT IK I WOULD GET 😨😨😨 *sweats* 😨😨😨 AND “hi i just wanna say that i rlly like ur outfi- well would u looK at that cat over there!! aHaHahah” WOULD PROBABLY COME OUT OF MY MOUTH INSTEAD SNBDDNNSNS (i hv 0 rizz) but anyWAYS IT PROBABLY MADE HIS WHOLE DAY AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU’VE BECOME “THE GIRL IN THE BUS” TO ALL HIS FRIENDS BCS HE WOULD FOR SURE TELL EVERYONE THAT HE GOT A COMPLIMENT FROM U </333333 (im suffering thats so cute) U’RE IMMORTALIZED IN HIS HEAD AND IN HIS STORIES !!!!!
i loVE the way u give compliments u’re literally the sweetest and i know hE thinks that too </3 im hoping for another adventure of u meeting that guy OR ANYONE ELSE IN PARTICULAR REALLY BCS EEEEEK THIS MADE MY WHOLE DAY I LOVED THIS SM SNSBDBDNSBNSS 😭😭😭😭
thanku sm for sharing this adventure of urs !!! 🥺🥺🥺 i missed u and i love u and i hope u have a great day as well !!! take care always <333
p.s. I NEED UPDATES IF U EVER SOMEHOW MEET THIS GUY AGAIN👹👹👹👹 UNIVERSE !!!! DO UR THING !!! 👹👹👹👹
hashtag my current mood:
#answered#THIS IS LITERALLY THE CUTEST THING EVERTFFFRRRR OMFGGG#THIS IS EVEN SWEETER THAN THE GELATO THAT I HAD TODAY IM PROBABBLY GONNA GET DIABETES NOW#ILY MISS DIORWOO THANKU FOR SHARING THIS!!!!!#anyw that was a long one 😮💨 TY FOR LISTENING TO MY TED TALK#<3#diorwoo
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Do you think Leander be hard to get to know? Like he build walls high around him and not wanting anyone in? OR do you think he will be straight forward about himself?
HI HELLO THANK U FOR THE ASK NYALLA
Hmm hmmm this is rly fun to think abt....so fun that i have been revising redrafting the answer to this ask bc it was getting lengthy and all over the place 😭😭😭 im tryna keep it relevant and concise....
Its interesting bc he could have a soft spot for MC and let them in to his secrets because of that...OR hes so insecure of himself and afraid of MC leaving him for whatever they may find out about him that he will be super careful and on guard about the things he's hiding about himself from others.
Considering the expertise he has in handling information (especially seen in the subtle ways he tries to sway MC's perception of others that I TOTALLY DIDNT PICK UP ON when i was playing LMAO. I had to read ppl explain that shit here on tumblr to realize like OH...OH THEYRE RIGHT OMG), I imagine he has reason to develop that skill so carefully—maybe he has the most fucked up secrets out of all the LIs. He grew up in a rough environment; who knows what he had to do to make it to where he's at?
That gives him reason to be afraid of what someone he cares about so much would think of him. Combine that w the post explaining his abandonment issues.
But who knows? Which one will win: his desperation to be known fully and loved for his true self or his fear of being rejected and left behind?
Of course, there's a separate matter of him calling MC's curse "power" and being hinted "too good to be true" to save them while asking nothing in return—yet. That gives me the vibe of him already in the machinations of manipulating MC in some way. To me that tells me he's already hiding intentions from MC and is working to his ulterior motives in their ignorant bliss.
BUT that could also just mean he'll be straightforward LATER on when he's established MC's trust....
BUT he also says "I can keep you safe as long as you trust me" which gives me the vibe of "WHY WOULD U HAVE TO SAY THIS IF YOU WERENT HIDING ANYTHING" like. This sentence gives me the vibe of someone determined to continue not laying out all his cards about himself or his intentions.
But idk im getting lost and confused 😭
#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG IM BAD AT KEEPING THINGS SHORT#AGAIN TY FOR THE ASK NYALLAAAAAA#redstrewn leandering
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are u comfy going more into detail abt the transandrophobia at ur college? im curious abt how this shit manifests in IRL queer spaces
Yea sure, ive mentioned bits and pieces in the tags of some rbs so i might as well talk abt it properly
The one biggest issue was the way they dealt with the tdor event they hosted. Transmascs were completely erased from the narrative. For example, they had some displays with pictures and names of trans people, those who died and those who are still alive and thriving. Out of ~2 dozen pictures, there was one or maybe two transmascs on there. That is a terrible ratio
The only guy on there who was definitely transmasc had only come out in the past year and had alrrady been a well established celebrity before then, so he wouldnt have been my first choice for "still made it despite the hardships of being trans" yk ? It felt like they didnt even try. The transfemme selections seemed to be a lot more well rounded, with some cool smaller names to discover.
Otherwise, theres just been a general trend of them doing,,, nothing for transmascs at all despite them claiming to be an org for all trans ppl. Most of the events are exclusive to femme aligned ppl, with the rest being general events open to all. Almost all of the ppl featured on their socials, wall art, etc, are femme presenting. A couple times the language in the physical space got a bit too close to "all men are bad lol" for comfort
They also just . seem to assume gender more than the other queer space here ? Like when they were handing out fliers at the beginning of the year they gave one to me specifically (cis girl passing esp at the time) and ignored all the other masc presenting ppl in the immediate area despite . yk. you cant tell if someone is trans just by looking at them. My pronouns get messed up way more often over there too
All in all theres just been this pattern of pervasive discomfort and borderline erasure and they need to get their shit together if they want to live up to their claims of being trans inclusive
Note :
What im not saying is they should care less abt transfemmes and other femme aligned ppl. Im not saying they should get rid of their events or care less abt them on tdor. (I have a book on my reading list im excited to read that i learned abt through that tdor event!)
What i am saying is they should be doing more for transmascs, adding more events, and putting more care into things
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hellooo ik its me again spamming inbox again 😁 ykw ykw
i miss u like i legit miss u sm that like i feel like my day is incomplete without talking to u it feels like a hollow yk that emptiness u get after finishing a kdrama thats what im feeling as i write this (becoming too much in love behaviour but its fine cuz i love uu nd being a liz simp is better than living alone without love in ur lifee) that without talking to feels like my day is incomplete but ik u are taking time off to collect ur thoughts achieve mental peace (hoping u get it during ur time off ) nd become calm nd ik how badly negative comments affect a person cuz they never get forgotten they just get buried nd come up whenver u get into a bad headspace but its fine we all get into bad headspaces go thru hard times nd i believe in u can get thru it u can nd take as much time as u need i will waiting for u with open arms to embrace u nd let u rest
nd ykw in a span of 4days sm things happened first i finished all the movies of to all the boys i have loved before but i didnt watvh xo kitty cuz they should made it as a netflix original movie instead of making it as a kdrama + eng series (i rly dont like eng series never watched any 😭😭 cuz i dont feel the connect the way i feel with kdramas ) nd after finishing i was like 😭😭 how do i get such a sweet guy (its an dream which no guy would be able to fulfill ) anw moving on
i tried to talk or more likely comfort a guy he is going thru hard time i can see it on jis fsce no matter how much he tries to mask it it can be seen in his expression nd eyes 😭( i dont like but as a genuine frnd im concerned abt him as i wasnt talking to him for a week ( i get too tired ti socialize in thr evening 😞that i dont text anyone ) so i wrote this a huge block of texting with some advice with some caring words okay nd telling everything will be fine nd all i sent it after 2minutes i was like this is so cringe 😭😭😭😭😭 nd i was like i sound like a girl who has a crush on him ( i dont 😭hes the type of person who has a huge ego nd i dont like egoistic ppl but to me he doesnt shows ego idk why 🥴🥴nd he is kinda dumb )
nd after i deleted i was like think ren thinkkk sm thoughts were going on in my mind like i HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE COMFROTED A GUY let alone have a guy frnd even tho i had one he confessed to me nd the friendship turned into dust 😭 nd from the start i always had female frinds even tho i have some guy frnds but we arent close to be considered frnds like classmate things ykk nd with the guy i wanted to comfort he considers me his frnd but i dont 😭 i have a very peculiar criteria of considering ppl as frnds 😭 but it is what it is so at last i texted him be well nd take care nd i also said it is overhelming to u atm but it will become better trust me he said see u soon i read nd didnt reply cuz idk.what to say 😭😭 nd ykw i suck at comforting guys cuz with girls its like u can say ily to them nd write a long ass message for them nd yk its a connect 😭 like i want a guy who genuinely is only intrested im friendship not in f2l nd i cant even say a guy i love u randomly if i trying to comfort them they might take it literally nd another trouble 😭😭 well i have never said that i dont plan to 😭 anw take careeee have a good day
#ren u r making me shed Real tears rn#i love u sm like if anyone tries to be the number 1 ren simp I WILL FIGHT THEM#BCS THATS MY SPOT#NO ONE ELSE’S!!!!!!!!#and omg i also watched xo kitty for shits n giggles HELPPP LMAO but i agree with u a 100% bro#no u’re so right bcs no sweet guy exist#like i’ve come to terms w it now :’-)#NO BCS#FRIENDSHIP WITH GUYS ARE SO HARD TO MAINTAIN FOR SOME REASON????? BCS ONE DAY THEY’LL JUST BOOM CONFESS THEIR UNDYING LOVE TO U#ITS SICK#LIKE#I THOUGHT WE’RE HOMIES I THOUGHT WE’RE BUDDIES WHY R U IN LOVE W ME NOW💀#not wanting f2l with guys is so true like…. i just want a FRIEND how hard is it bro 😭😭#okay but u’re good at comforting ppl <3 whoever tht guy is should be HONORED#also#men with big ego <<<<<<<#not it#glad u dodged a bullet kinda 😭😭#I LOVE U AND I LOVE UR STORIES MY SLEEP DISAPPEARED IM SO INVESTED NOW
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this is about the convo earlier with being molested by family members..i'm also balkan and i grew up with my grandparents but especially my grandpa inappropriately touching my chest and when i tried to tell my mom, older sis and aunt they all dismissed it as 'ehh he probably didn't mean to/his hand slipped'. i didn't wanna insist and look crazy because i do love my grandpa and he was the only parental figure i had in my life growing up, but at the same time...he did do that. idk if he thought it was normal or what but i think about it often. i can't bring it up with my family again because they'll just ignore it (especially now that he's dead). it's weird to think about how loving and nice he was when he was also doing shit like that from time to time. idk where i'm going with this but yeah. i don't think of myself as someone who was molested as a kid but this shit is definitely normalized. i've seen it in other families where they'd constantly touch and talk about their little boy's genitals... it's so fucked up
it really is fucked up, and its fucked up to realize that so many of us grew up w this.... for a long time i thought this was a me issue not a cultural one - and all the silence and shame around it certainly didnt help w that.... its been fucking weird to think abt the last couple of days since i asked on here abt it. like.. weve really made this SO normal and common huh?? that going against it is outright dismissed or even punished??? i cant help but just keep wondering where the fuck it all went so wrong and how we got here - and whats so wrong that things like this havent been accepted only in the balkans but elsewhere. what. what is wrong with this species. incest is one of the only universal taboos among humans, and most other mammals also have an aversion to it. and yet. we have normalized an abnormal amount of it nontheless over and over again .....? uuuff
im sorry you went through that, and im sorry they didn't take it seriously and listen more to you. thats something that always hurts in particular. discomfort/repulsion is a normal reaction to have and youd expect at least the other women in ur family to care or understand it too, and its rly fucked up when they just... dismiss it or minimize it or make you feel guilty for it or like its your issue or hell do it themselves.. i figure for a lot of them, if theyd accept that what youre saying is bad, itd mean theyd have to accept that things they went through themselves was bad, and they dont wanna do that. so they dont do either.. im sorry that u cant speak abt it and i totally get how him being dead would make it all much harder. in my family at least we v much have a "dont speak ill of the dead" sorta thing, or just excusing the actions of particularly men after they did sorta thing......i still haven't told my family just about anything. any time i ever tried to bring up anything as a kid id get dismissed and ignored at best or be punished or degraded and humiliated at worst so.... learned my lesson on that one but. thank u for sending this, i hate to hear how many of us went through this but also its. nice to know that were not alone in this and that other ppl do get it
and i feel you. its a really confusing mess to try to make sense of how to feel abt ppl like that... be angry? be grossed out, be scared? be numb, be okay with it, pretend it didnt happen? excuse it, explain it away? .... and its just weird in the cases when it wasnt rly something particularly violent, or ""not that bad/bad enough"" ig or towes that line of being able to convince urself that maybe welll it could have been an accident. its weird to know how to feel abt them when they were seemingly ok ppl you cared abt and still do and who were nice other times. .. but also... did shit like this which end of the day just isnt ok. idk... i dont think theres rly a end or solution or one way to feel, i think.... its just kinda bound to be a cocktail of conflicting emotions... im still trying to figure out how to find some sort of. idk, potential resolution or peace w any of it but i haven't rly figured it out yet, i just keep turning it in my mind too
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completed the game btw 👍
laptop crashed on me trying to open elden ring the final straw 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#ill start an ng+ run to get the other endings another time. not rn cuz its late#man. what a fucking day#just one thing after another this week. if anything else happens i dont think ill be able to handle it#context for earlier breakdown btw was that my friends including some i havent seen for months all took a trip together to hang out today#which i didnt know about. bc i muted their discord server this week bc ive been rly stressed out and last week i upset one-#of them bc i got angry abt smth i misunderstood + anyway i did apologise but i took a break so i wouldnt just say shit spur of the moment#when im in a bad mood and not thinking and its been a difficult week so its lasted longer than planned i just didnt want to risk it#the onlt reason it happened last week was bc i was having such a shitty time.on the higher med dose i hate upsetting ppl i normally have#a tight lid on how i react to other ppl even if i dont have a tight lid on my emotions generally i feel so guilty for.it still#but anyway yeah. and it was my birthday monday which i found rly hard and i rly wanted to be better this year and be able to celebrate it#but i couldnt and i spent the day having a breakdown instead. and then it took me a few days to feel recovered from that and on thurs i#was gonna go to the climbing club which ive been wanting to do for months but havent been able to for various reasons but everything#aligned but i got into that shitty bike accident and then i was looking forward to the music festival today but couldnt fucking go to that#either so its just been one thing that shouldve been nice taken away after another i was feeling really really shit abt it this morning#and then i check discord for the first time in a week and theyve spontaneouslt decided to do this#today and no one invited me my flatmates been around me in person and she didnt even mention it at all which u know what is fair enough#i would understand if she was still upset at me i know she prefers to hang out with them without me she organised another thing next week#with them that she didnt want me coming to but she did tell me abt it anyway i dont know i guess i deserve it a bit bc ive been a shitty#friend lately i guess so thats that anyway. but still it just felt so horribly unfair i dont think ive been that bad. maybe i have#and maybe none of.them even like me anyway i would understand. i got.rly upset at my flatmate for not caring abt the bike crash and#leaving when i started crying about it but really that was fair i kind of had it coming so didnt deserve her sympathy#its just karma at the end of the day i guess. i hope they had a nice time anyway and i hope they have a nice time next week too#i just need to find a way ofnot getting so upset over it but its so hard with rejection sensitivity i hate missing out jt hurts me so much#but i know they have a better time without me there i need to be less selfish and have more grace abt it oh but its so hard#snd ive been feeling so lonely it wouldve been so nice to see them but it doesnr matter#anyway thats all it was. i dont feel so upset abt it anymore like its over now anyway im just really tired#but want to dump it all on here so its not floatinf round my head when im trying to sleep. jts okay i get the message now#and i wont intrude again ill leave them all be for now im sorry#crawlinf to the bathroom to brush my.teeth and then falling straight asleep i hope. goodnight
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this is a mix of an old post that never made it here and some new stuff bc atp this is just kinda funny to me, then imma drop it bc it's also just so boringggg
but im gonna put this here bc ik this loser is still stalking my acct and whatnot, so my final piece or w/e
-"Dont even think abt my sister/talking shit abt my family😡😡" couldnt care less abt ur fuckass sister or family. i cared when they were sticking their noses in shit by sending messages or checking our accounts because?? get a life??? i dont choose to think abt any of u, ever, and would celebrate the day i completely forget abt u
-"YoU wEnT tO mY mOmMy" yeah because we were fed up. because there is a message where you admit you sent at least one thing, along with a vile message from a burner account that mentioned the exact same shit u did in dms, and a whole tumblr with my bf's full name that only families and you knew him by. at least three seperate instances that can be directly tied to you and only you. whether that was you or someone in your system doesnt change that it isnt okay in any degree. it being from a disorder doesnt create a free pass and if you cant keep it in check yourself, someone else needs to be involved. also the screenshot i sent your mother of your dm didnt meantion 'headmates' anywhere, as far as i was ever informed everyone mentioned there was a real person. nothing on there explicity point to DID, i didnt out that
-"he's 27 he should be able to deal with some anon hate" this isnt anon hate. this is repeated harrassment. this is someone implying my mental health is someone's responsibility, and then getting mad when I buy cats that I begged him to let us get and when he's gifted a pc. and i only bring those up bc those are two things you mentioned directly to me along with those being in a vile message from a burner that also implies his father's passing was his fault in any way. that is deranged and subhuman to do and i stand by it. because absolutely nothing justifies a reaction like that. along with an entire tumblr containing his first name and legal last name. something only a small amount of ppl know both of. that account was a recent one too, we have pictures that are time stamped!! so once again, yes, i did send those to ur mother! she should know what vile shit is being sent and that you need serious help
-"Id never go to ur mom!!!" i dont care. if it reached a point of genuine concern when it comes to mental stability, i would hope someone would. ive had people contact my mother over things ive done and i hold 0 resentment bc it helped me in the long run
-"you told someone to kill themselves online😡😡" yeah... i do it a lot... youve heard me do it.... if someone is gonna come into my space and get triggered abt a joke i make w my consenting partner, i will tell them to end it. bc they rlly should. i genuinely believe if ur life is that sad it probably would be better off just ended. what abt it. i dont say it to random ppl for no reason. i say it to people who think i care abt their opinions when it comes to a harmless aspect of my life. oh no, sue me
-"I probably have bpd and i dont run around saying i for sure do" do u have a formal diagnosis for DID? if not then that shouldnt have any standing either. but if we suddenly dont care abt that, yeah i talked to two professionals, both of which agreed i was very likely borderline and one of which is qualified to diagnose but-like my autism-said while i do match criteria it isnt going on my record bc of the walls it can put up in life and they gave me resources before i moved to help w my disorder. and as someone who claims to probably have it, u dont seem to understand how easily it alters ur mood and view on ppl 🤨
-this is a repeated thing and a couple things at once but ur obsession with 'real' names for both humans and animals is just weird and you should probably talk to someone about that. god forbid we have fun with the name we give two cats and ourselves bc we dont live with a stick in our ass? and then ur need to go after his art is wild as if 1) art isnt subjective 2) u have any room to talk abt art skills
#anyways this is our christmas vacation and im done w all this#just wanted to drop this here get a life or smth and get psychiatric help#mica.txt
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it just hurts so much that we started talking. and he said all of these things to me, like i was the only one he felt that with, and that was the sole reason i thought some of his posts were abt me. and then all of a sudden i check his blog and he has a gf (& i was so humiliated bc those posts were abt her not me, after that i have not dared to believe a single post is abt me). after they broke up, he told me that he was wanting to ask me to be his gf. so that means he was gonna ask me to be his gf bc he liked me too, but then he met her, who i think is his dream girl. so then he just forgot abt me, i know he didnt really, but it felt sm like he just tossed me to the side like a forgotten toy. i know we all just do whats best for us, and choosing the one we really actually like is just a human thing. so i dont really blame him, but this is just how i feel and it hurts so much. they were only together for a month and as i understand it, she was the reason they broke up. so she didnt stay, which is what hes always saying he want. he want someone to stay bc he feels like everyone leaves him and uses him. i havent left him in two years, even if hes dated two other ppl which has hurt me.
i dont use him. i am considerate of his feelings and dont want to hurt him, which is why im honest w him and dont play around and tell him things that arent true or promise him things i didnt know if i could give him. does she lay awake at night wondering how hes feeling? did she feel anxious abt hurting him? did she feel bad abt getting together so easily and quickly w him just to leave him more alone after a short time? again, i dont blame her or say this maliciously bc she was just doing what was best for her. but the universe is so cruel. bc i care abt him, i would never hurt him or string him along like that, i have done thinga for him that he says nobody has done for him..... i am there every day to talk to him, even when i've felt hurt by him. i dont leave him or give up on him. if i was so lucky he was mine, i wouldnt give him up so easily. but that isnt enough. bc everything is abt what u feel. if he simply doesnt feel that for me, but for her, then thats just how it is. it doesnt matter what i do or how i treat him, or what she did or treated him. there is no fairness in love. he loves her and wants her. she is his dreamgirl and who he can never let go of. it just hurts so much that i met him before they met eo, and they had known eo for shorter than i'd known him, and he just ,,. forgot abt me. if he had never met her... then he wouldnt be hung up on his dream girl. bc i am not his dream girl nor could i ever be. no matter what i do. even if i do things for him that he says nobody has ever done, incl his dreamgirl. but if his heart still loves her.. then theres nothing i nor he can do. its selfish but i wish they hadnt met. bc then he wouldnt have forgotten abt me and tossed me to the side. then we wouldve naturally progressed the way i wanted us to. the way he said... he did say he was gonna ask me to be his gf. i havent made that up... it couldve happen. i wouldnt leave him so easily bc i love him... but it is never enough.
even if i really believe she is his dreamgirl, for some reason even if he misses her and keeps writing that on his blog, he dated someone else for a little while. why not me? why cant he talk to me and see... that didnt work out either. when i brought up my feelings for him he just dismissed them and said he doesnt know what he can give me. then why can he date other ppl? i mean.. i know why. he saw a chance with them but doesnt feel that with me. i get it. it just hurts. bc i am in love with him, i cant let go of the fact that he said he wanted to ask me to be his gf, but then he met someone else and never did ask me. all i want is him. havent i proven to him im worth the chance? ig that doesnt matter if he just doesnt want me the way he wants his dream girl.
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[UNFINISHED] okkkk heres my joestar hc list bc i keep forgetting (complimentary jolyne pic bc she is THE coolest)
VERY LONG POST (more under the cut)
ok i cant fit this in anywhere but i feel like stands use any prns so if u see me switching prns for them thats why
ONTO LE HCS!!
jonathan - honestly i used 2 see him as strictly cishet but do u guys see the bi jonathan vision. i feel like hed be in extreme denial (victorian england) or he would just be super fucking clueless so he would be like Omg i love erina she is so gorgeous and then wonders why it makes his heart flutter when speedwagon glazes him. sometimes i am extra greedy and i see him as a he/him butch lesbian…. no one can escape my lesbo beam mwehehe. i feel like hed also be neurodivergent but idk w what and tbh he doesnt know rither bc he orobably never got it checked (and probably couldnt bc victorian england). but i also dont mind cishet jonathan. he is whatever i feel like at the moment. good for him!! good for him!!
joseph - bisexual. thats not a straight man. he wanted suzie AND caesar and they smooch I DONT GIVE A FAWWWKKK 😞😞😞 hes so transgender to me too like do u see the vision. if tou dont thats ok . because I DO! i also think he has adhd him and caesar r audhd couple … yknow how some nd ppl like weighted stuff like blankets? i feel like joseph likes that but w tight clothes bc theres no other explanation for why hes wearing jeans that tight fitting. he uses hermit purple to piss people off not just for its stand ability like theres no eay he didnt poke suzie qs back w it and then giggled when she turned around and nothing was there. what a LOSER!!
jotaro - oooj ive sat on this one for the longest time. had this cooking for ages. i have it planned specifically i have it roadmapped. hes transgender to me. i feel like when he was a kid he thought he was gay then during pt 4 he identifies as straight then in pt 6 He doesnt gaf he thinks hes too old to ponderbut its something man liking adjacent. Anyways jotaro boypussy canon he told me and star plat is ALSO transgender. he (star) acts like a big dog sometimes he doesnt speak and mostly communicates by gestures and hes suuuper cuddly and sweet and gets excitable very easily. hes very curious and probably just has a little pile of things that are important to him in jotaros room. hes also the biggest snitch ever but also helps w communication bc i think joot is autistic w selective mutism (Just Like Me Fr…) so star will hold up a whiteboard and pen looney toons style when jotaro just Cannot Word. holy ahit you can tell im biased
josuke - gay man. probably talked with jotaro about being confused abt his sexuality (and maybe gender expression too) and jotaro was like [cool voice] Yeah man this atuff is normal Youre young youll figure it out dont be hard on yourself and josuke was like YAYYYY thank you :3 paraphrasing a lot. hes so autism to me as well i think josukes special intwrest would be that stupid little game he plays he knows so much abt it he used crazy diamond to shoplift merch a few times shhhh… but then he went badk and paid after bc he felt bad. stupid idiot. speaking of crazy diamond i feel like its like star where it cant say much other than dorarara ykno… except josuke is very talkative so it prefers to stay quiet and just fucking Stare. i feel like it forgets to emote bc josukes so exaggerated w how he talks so it doesnt rlly need to do much. its not like it minds anyway. usually when him and okuyasu r together you can see crazy d and the hand together bonking heads and holding hands and doing everything yheir users r too PUSSY TO DO!!
giorno - honestly i fw aroace giorno and acespec giorno in general. like thats just him to me … i also think hes part vampire bc of dio ( ik thats not how it works) so hes got little fangies and pointyish ears and he gets sunburnt a lot easier and hamon hurts him. gender wise i feel like he doesnt really care what you see him as. he/they king who sees his gender as whatever the person viewing him thinks… but in a nonbinary way … probably knew being gay and trans was a thing but it was 2001 so.. gold experience is very quiet mostly bc they both had to learn to be and ge materialised knowing this. giorno gives you the aame kind of stares cats do where they observe and their eyes r very wide. gold exp also does this. she is always listening to everything i feel like it can talk but it doesnt do so much. requiem flip flops between “please say something im getting scared” and “sweet man made horrors i can comprehend perfectly!” no inbetween. no one wants to hear what it has to say. please do not turn our universe into a flat plane. if gold exp is around someone giorno fws like bucci gang itll just sit behind them and watch, occasionally swatting at their clothes or shoes like a cat.
jolyne - LOOOOVE MY BABYGIRL. shes either bisexual w a fem lean, pan or lesbian IDGAFFF. cis woman and shes dating ermes. her hair buns move like animal ears they stick up when shesninterested they droop when shes sad they fluff when shes scared or angry. just as autistic as her father except she actually has some social skills meanwhile jotaro astands like the moyai emoji. very very talkative her special interest is probably fashion but also sumn fun like a niche sport. she yaps and yaps and yaps and sometimes she gets so excited she might unravel herself ooops … speaking of string stone free doesnt really present as her body much, choosing to just be blue strings like jokyne wants. she can talk, just doesnt unless its to jolyne and even still she prefers just sayijgnora. if you put her joot and josuke in a room together their atands will sit in a corner and just make noises at each other hur you bet the stand gossip goes crazy .. shes such a girls girl i genuienky loge her like she gives off girl yoo think is really evil and mean at first but turns out shes so nice and its like duh she was never mean just assertive
ill do the rest later im sleeby goodbugnth ill edit tkmorrow
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