#I CANT EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS RIGHT. MY SAYING THEY’RE A BURDEN AND THEY GET IN THE WAY OF EVERYTHING WILL NEVER EVER ENCOMPASS HOW FUCKING

[zebracakesarecopingmechanisms]

oughghhhggfds

[lillian-nator]

please do more backyard au hcs this sounds lovely

PEOPLE AND AGES - Tommy (5) Kindergarten - Techno (11) 6th grade - wilbur (18) Senior - Tubbo (4) Kindergarten - Schlatt (19) Just Graduated, goes to Community college - SapNap (7) First grade - Punz (13) 7th grade - Dream (12) 8th grade - Gogy (15) Sophomore - Ranboo (6) Kindergarten - Fundy (15) Freshman - Niki (16) junior - Puffy (17) Senior - Purpled (5) Kindergarten - Big Q (14) 8th grade - Karl (13) 7th grade ----------------------- SPECIES AND RELATIONSHIPS (put into friend groups) - Tubbo (Ram, Schlatt's son) - Tommy (Racoon) - Ranboo (enderman, kind of a street kid) - Purpled (Purple Sheep, Dream and Puffy's younger brother) - SapNap (Demon, Bad's son, Punz's baby brother)

- Techno (Piglin) - Dream (Ram, Puffy's younger brother) - Punz (demon) - Gogy  (Mooshroom) - Big Q (Duck) - Karl (Parrot hybrid)

- Wilbur (Blue Jay) - Schlatt (Ram) - Puffy (sheep - Schlatt's cousin) - Niki (fish? mermaid?) - Fundy (Fox) ----------------------- I think that Philza minecraft just slowly keeps finding kids in his backyard, and he slowly grows very attached to all of them Just like every afternoon his backyard is FLOODED with kids And he doesn’t understand why he’s the house everyone goes to, but he’ll feed them He just slowly finds himself being really endeared by each of them ------------------- And before he knows it, Phil’s warning SapNap and Ranboo away from the water, and balancing Purpled and Tommy on his hips And he knows all their allergies And all their favorite foods And he’s keeping track of the high schoolers grades, bringing Dream, punz, and techno to their games  ----------------- CARPOOL SOCCER MOM Mr. Philza Minecraft --------------------- Dream: Basketball Punz: Football Techno: Baseball Puffy: Softball Small children: Baby Soccer -------------------------- - Phil keeps track of all of boys'  games and practices. Because goddamn it, these kids deserve some sort of parental guidance - Dream, purpled, and Puffy don’t have present parents - Puffy had to step up to the plate - Ranboo’s a street kid - No one really knows if he has anyone - Bad just chilling in hell ---------------------------- Schlatt is really working himself thin, but he tries hard, he really does And everyone can see how much he loves Tubbo Sometimes Phil will wake up and see schlatt passed out on their couch. He got off at midnight But as soon as he gets home from work, Tubbo is immediately in his Dad’s arms Schlatt animatedly talking to the boy But you can just see how much love he has for his boy He’s just a bit too young to bare the burden alone ------------------------------ And the thing is, is that all of these kids are so like, independent Like Phil just needs to feed them And tend to the youngest ones every so often ------------------------------- I think it’s like musical chairs To see who’s sleeping at Phil’s house in the morning Like - who’s on the couch? An air mattress? Guest bed? Sharing a room with one of his kids? All of the small children like to pile around SapNap, who is also a small child, cause he’s warm Punz also always has children flocking him ------------------------------- Punz is also that teen who throws the kids in the pool he cant go into the water himself, prefering to lay on the grass and in the sun, but he does love just chucking kids in ------------------------------- Phil drives a beat up mini van. It’s baby blue It's always filled to the brim with passengers very dirty many crumbs has balls just thrown in it all the time Footballs, basketballs, baseballs, soccer balls it fucking smells, we all know it does Phil owns like 4 of those kid car seats despite only having one kid in that age group ---------------------------- Also if you couldn't tell Niki basically lives in the pool she's a fish hybrid so its a salt water pool instead of chlorine because its better for Niki --------------------------- Tommy, Tubbo, purpled, Ranboo, and SapNap play baby soccer its the best part of this au It’s so adorable, and Tommy picks at flowers the entire time Sometimes. Ranboo will come and entertain him for a little. Try and get him back in the game. He gives up when Tommy sits down tho Ranboo will more often then not join Tommy cause mmmm grass Tubbo is insanely competitive as a little kid we been knew though When he gets older Tommy gets really into it But as a baby He just chases bugs Plus he’s a raccoon hybrid, so shiny ------------------------ HE HOARDS SHIT UNDER HIS BED IS A MESS he as in fucking baby racoon Tommy whats the word for baby racoon small baby kit Phil 1000% calls him kit BABY RAMS ARE CALLED BUCKS FUCKING EVERYONE CALLS TUBBO "BUCK" THATS SO CUTE IM LOSING MY SHIT Things go lost? Go check tommys room Bermuda Triangle of a bedroom Very much like - Phil has to have a talk with him about it And he’s like “ I know you feel like you have to take them Kit, but they’re not yours” “If you want it, just ask me and I’m

sure we can figure something out.” Tommy also loses interest as soon as he gains it tho Tommy chitters at them They nod liek they understand and go “Uh huh, sounds mighty interesting Kit,” And then they pick him and let him climb around them -------------------------------- So much rough housing like SO much they're hybrids man Tommy also teethes ok. Chews on shit when his canines grow in so does Techno, and SapNap, and Punz (Punz and Techno's canines already grew in though, but they still chew on shit) The rams Rub their heads against stuff Head Itchy ------------------------------- A lot of Phil’s days off are just spent by the babies, just who are growing in hybrid traits He scratches Tubbo, sapnaps, and Puroled heads They’re all growing in horns Gives Tommy things to chew on Purpled. Never gets full horns. They are always little stubs just barely sticking out of his hair. His ears looks more human than ram too. Just for some reason never really grew into his hybrid traits And purple eyes He gets so upset about it too, when Tubbos horns outgrow his, because he’s older He’s a bit different. But it’s like being brunette in a family of blondes. It’s not unheard of He just is tearing up and Phil is just like “oh Bud, come ‘ere” They're like 8 And Tommy just gives Purpled the biggest hug, because Tommy is a sweetheart as a kid ------------------- I think that even the older kids wrestle Like obviously Dream, Techno and the rest of the middle school gang do Because they’re so fucking competitive Dream is so quick to just. Grab someone and wrestle them to the floor No warning But like, you’ll catch Wilbur and Schlatt jumping at each other Or Wilbur throwing Fundy over his shoulder Or anyone just man handling gogy ------------------- Phil gets to a point where he calls them all his kids And asks where they are when they aren’t At his house ------------------------ Puffy bringing them (Dream and Purpled) over after school. They go outside and play. Puffy sighs and collapses at the dining table. Phil silently hands her a coffee. “I’ll keep em busy” he says “you get some homework done” She looks up, and puts her head in her hand, “Dream has basketball practice in an hour” Phil just pats  her on the back. “I got it.” ----------------- Also let’s talk about how much food Phil needs to buy Like even if it’s just lunch That’s like 15 growing boys He can afford it, He just has to watch out for allergies He buys so many fucking snacks man Whole damn store He goes through like crates of those little chip variety packs Tubbo only likes the crunchy Cheetos Tommy likes barbecue Niki likes salt and vinegar Punz likes Doritos He knows which ones they all like I’m just imagining Phil calling out for the kids And they’re like lining out of the kitchen Oldest to youngest so that Phil can help the little ones They can eat anywhere in the yard, but Ohil has the little ones eat at the picnic table They’re all dripping wet from coming out of the pool, and he needs to make sure they eat their fruit and popsicles, they have tons of popsicles. ------------------ Phil totally takes Dad tax Like a chip from every plate And a tatertot from each breakfast very dad of him to do ------------------- Not not Phil kissing each of their foreheads goodbye And ��drive safe” And “have a good day" ------------------ He’ll still pick up Texhno And Dream and Punz, right by the armpits And tucks them into bed ----------------- Tommy when he gets wet He loves swimming but the poor baby: his fur It’s hard to get him in the water but once he’s in it’s hard to get him out Because he feels all heavy and sticky afterwards ------------------ Adventures in the woods TOMMY IN HID NATURAL HABITAT Small boy makes hidey hole You may be asking Does. Does Tommy crunch on the leaves He does Like on ever y single one Carefully -------------------- All of the little kids And even technos group Just bonk heads Because of the goats They all just do it Sometimes softly Sometimes roughly Techno always does it roughly tho Rough houser Dream doesn’t mind Makes it feel like he has a

herd Feeds a primal instinct for ram playmates Feeds a primal instinct for ram playmates - Small boy And puffy has outgrown it But a young piglin brute? Perfect playmate. ------------------------- AND THATS THE AU YOU'RE WELCOME

[ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty]

What if hallucifer stayed with Sam throughout the whole show? What if cass didn't really fix the problem, but only took the pain away?

Sam walks out of that hospital knowing he's not alright. Knowing he's never gonna be alright. He gets into shotgun, dean smiling next to him warmly, Lucifer smiling at him from the back seat. Cold dead eyes.

Lucifer is there with him when dean and cass get blasted to who knows where. Crowley tells him he's all on his own, Lucifer laughs next to him.

He meets Amelia, but eventually she leaves him. He doesn't blame her, who would want to be with a guy who talks to air and barely sleeps? He starts drinking a lot after that.

Dean comes back, from purgatory apparently. He doesn't know about lucifer, Sam never told him, didn't want to make himself a bigger burden for his brother. So he lies, tells him he was with Amelia this whole time. Dean gets angry. Sam knew he would, but it's easier this way.

Lucifer is with him when they find the bunker, commenting on the ugly lamps. Sam snickers, dean looks at him weird, but doesn't say anything.

Lucifer is with him when he completes the first trial. He looks down to Sam who is covered in blood. He points to the dead hellhound. "I knew that one." He says. "Her name was Ashley."

Lucifer is with him when he goes to hell to rescue bobbys soul. "I did not miss this place." Lucifer whispers next to him. A shiver goes down Sam's spine.

Lucifer is with him when he's just about to finish the last trial. Lucifer always keeps quiet when Sam is completing trials, something about "purification." Sam doesn't really know, he mostly blocks him out.

He's there when dean comes and stops him. He's yelling at Dean, telling him to go, leave them. But dean cant hear him, he knows he cant hear him. Sam doesnt know why Lucifer even tries.

Lucifer is in the back seat of the impala when Sam wakes up. He doesn't remember getting into the impala. He remembers passing out in the mud in front of the church. His clothes are clean now though. Lucifer is quiet.

Lucifer has stopped talking to him, he just hovers now. It's driving Sam mad. He's not used to the strange silence, but he doesn't suspect anything weird until he starts losing fragments of his day.

He starts noting down time frames that he loses. He started when he was researching in the library at 2:45pm, blacked out, and came to in the kitchen at 3:14pm. Lucifer stays out of his way. Sam sometimes thinks he has a look of pity on his face, but that can't be right, can it?

Sam eventually asks dean about this. His brother just brushes him off. Lucifer continues to hover.

Crowley comes and saves him. Sam kicks the angel out. He opens his eyes to see Lucifer staring at his brother. "I guess sammy has a thing for kicking angles out."

Deans starting to get suspicious. Sam's zoning out more and more. Eyes glazing over as he just listens to Lucifer ramble on about nothing. About everything.

"You good Sammy?" Dean asks him one day while they're eating breakfast. Sam answers too fast. Dean only gets more suspicious.

Dean eventually finds out, Sam knew he would sooner or later. He finds dean with alcohol more often now. A look of guilt is permanently stuck on Sam's face.

"Its not your fault Sammy." Dean always tells him. Sam is finding it harder to believe him.

Sam zones out more often. The only thing that can bring him back is deans touch. Deans heavy hand on his shoulder bringing him back down to earth, grounding him. Deans always looking at him with this sad smile. Sam feels like he's failed him.

Lucifer is with him when he finds out dean got the mark of Cain. "Oh that's a nasty little thing." Lucifer comments next to him. Sam has taken to ignoring him, it eases deans mind.

Dean is getting worse and worse. And so is Sam. Dean is slowly losing care for Sam and he's not there for him anymore. He's not there to ground him, to pull him back.

Sam starts zoning out for longer periods of time. Dean doesn't seem to care, only rolls his eyes. Lucifer watches perched on a chair next to him. "Does big bro not love you anymore?" Sam flinches.

Lucifer is there when dean dies.

Lucifer is there when Sam finds the note. "Aww big brother left you." Lucifer laughs.

Sam is spiralling. Lucifer talks to him more and more as Sam searches for his brother. No-one is there to ground him anymore. No-one is there to help him. One day Sam accidently talks back to Lucifer. Lucifer looks shocked for half a second before that cold smirk comes back to his face.

"Its been years since you talked to me Sammy." Lucifer says one day as Sam is reading a book on demons. "I missed our little talks." Sam slams the book shut. "Shut up." He hisses.

Lucifer is right there as Sam ducks down to avoid the hammer. "I never knew why Alastair liked this one." Cass appears. Thank god. Sam falls back against the wall and helplessly covers his ears. He knows it won't block him out. "Sure he ripped apart a lot of souls in hell, but a hammer?" Sam hits his head against the wall. "Shut up shut up shut up." Lucifer laughs at him. Cass pays him no mind.

Lucifer is there when the darkness is unleashed. "Ooh aunty." He says next to Sam. Sam flinches, dean places a hand on his arm. All three stand there and watch.

"You know, I find it really uncomfortable that your brother has a thing for my aunt." Lucifer says one day. Sam looks him right in the eye. "Shut up, Lucifer." Sam hasn't looked directly at Lucifer for at least 3 years. Lucifer smiles coldly at him as dean walks up to Sam, worry and fear etched into his face. Palms out towards him like he's trying not to scare off a frightened animal. Sam doesn't feel too far off from that.

Lucifer is with Sam when he goes to see real Lucifer. Sam thinks he's going crazy.

"So, you're still seeing me huh?" Real Lucifer asks him. Sam sucks in a breath as Lucifer stands to the side of the cage. "Oh c'mon Sam. I've been inside that head of yours. There's nothing I don't know about you." Real Lucifer smiles down at him. Or is it fake Lucifer? Sam doesn't know anymore.

Lucifer is with him as he gets tourted by the British men of letters. Always sending words of encouragement, towards Toni.

Lucifer is sitting on the steps. "Ah remember our lovely time down under?" He asks, titling his head to get a better view of what the lady was doing. "Ooh blowtorch. You never did like fire huh?" Sam screams. He can bearly hear Lucifers laughter over his own screams of pain.

Dean comes and saves him. Hands all over him as soon as they're out. Lucifer rolls his eyes at them. "Mother hen." Sam tenses up.

Lucifer is there when their mother leaves them. "I guess everyone hates ya huh Sammy?" Lucifer smiles at him. Dean doesn't react, doesn't even look at him.

"Never did like the brits." Lucifer says one day. Sam smiles. Deans hands are on him straight away.

Lucifer is there when Jack is born. Lucifer is there when cass is killed. Sam thinks he's seeing double, two Lucifers talking to him at the same time.

One Lucifer stays with him, one goes with his mother. He's not sure which is which. So he asks. Lucifer laughs at him. Dean doesn't put a hand on him.

Dean always stands closer to him after that, he's always making sure that they're touching, that they're shoulders are brushing. Lucifer gets annoyed at dean. Tries to hurt him. Sam sleeps less and less, just in case, just in case one day Lucifer succeeds.

Lucifer sits right next to Sam one day, getting all up in his personal space. Dean isn't in the room. Sam silently sobs.

Lucifer is always hovering around Jack, making terrible remarks about the kid. Sam snaps one day. "Leave him alone!" Lucifer smiles at him, Jack looks up at him like a confused puppy, and dean is dragging him out of the room, his fingers digging into his shoulder blade.

Jack has started to avoid him after that. Dean tells him not to worry about it, but it breaks Sam's heart. Lucifer laughing at him for it all the time is not helping.

Lucifer is there when the vampires get him. Cheering to the side of the cave. And Lucifer is there when he wakes up. He didn't know that it was the real Lucifer.

Lucifer is with him when he makes it back to Dean, both of them. Sam only knows which one is real beacuse everyone is looking at that one. Sam feels like he's failed Dean, again.

Dean hugs Sam, but it doesn't feel real, it doesn't feel right. Lucifer pokes his blood caked neck, Sam jerks away from dean. Dean looks at him with heart broken eyes.

Deans hand is on him all the time now. Holding his arm, brushing their shoulders together. It makes Sam feel jumpy.

Sam makes sure Lucifer stays in this world. He doesn't know which one he trapped, but he hopes it was fake Lucifer. Real Lucifer is easier to deal with.

Lucifer is there when real Lucifer is killed. Sam smiles at him.

"So much for your win Sammy." Lucifer says one day while Sam is sitting in the darkness of his room. "Sure you killed me, but you lost your big brother." Sam wishes he could punch him.

Lucifer is there when Sam gets dean back.

Dean makes a comment on his beard. "Don't listen to him Sammy." Lucifer says as dean walks off. "I think you look good." Sam shaves his beard off after that.

Lucifer is there when Michael possesses dean again. He's laughing the whole time. Dean won't help him, can't help him. Dean is gone.

"Let him in the box Sam!" Lucifer suddenly snaps at him one day, making Sam jump. "Get rid of Michael!" Sam starts to cry. It's too much, not even deans touch is helping him anymore. It feels wrong, alien.

Nick attacks him, Lucifer is cheering him on. "Ah I wish he was my true vessel!" Lucifer exclaims as Sam's vision darkens.

Mary is dead, Jack is gone. "Bye bye mother Mary." Lucifer sings. Sam flinches, dean doesn't care.

"Oh so you can't put your brother in that box, but you sure as hell can put my son in?" Lucifer is yelling in his ear. Sam punches the air. Deans hands on him don't help.

Chuck comes back. Lucifer snarls at him, never stops yelling at him. It's hard for Sam to pay attention to anything, he can't hear anything over Lucifers yelling. Deans hand is on his shoulder the whole time, but he seems out of it.

Lucifer was quiet for a while after God killed Jack. Sam counts his blessings.

Lucifer is there when they rendered chuck powerless. He seems to have a grateful look on his face.

Lucifer isn't there when dean dies.

Lucifer isn't there when miracle dies.

Lucifer is there when Sam's on his death bed. He's standing in the corner of the room, arms crossed over his chest. He waves, and Sam's vision fades.

Sam's free.

Sam's finally free.

[bipercabeth]

I CANT DECIDE BETWEEN "I didn’t mean to get blood on your shirt." OR "Please, just let me carry you." FOR THE PROMPTS YOU PICK :D

(tw injury, blood, and near-death)

One of the first things Camp Half-Blood tried and failed to teach Percy was how to stay calm in a crisis. You are worth nothing to the people you love if you lose your mind trying to save them. 

On one hand, he does succeed. More people will die if Percy leaves the manticore unchallenged at the base of Half-Blood Hill, so he stays. For the kids racing to Thalia’s pine. Nothing else. His heart sits in the grass where Annabeth crumpled after the manticore’s spikes drove up her flesh in a line. Percy is just a body—a machine on autopilot. His humanity has fallen.

Killing the monster is easy after that. Percy thinks of the last time a manticore took Annabeth away, and the anger starts a forest fire inside him, one that could level the Long Island forest. Riptide slices through the manticore’s chest like he’s nothing, which is what he becomes. Dust. Ash. Utterly insignificant. 

The sword falls as Percy rushes to Annabeth’s side. It doesn’t make a sound as it hits the soft earth, just a thump in the grass. It should be ugly, loud, cacophonous. It should echo up the hillside in a metallic cry for help. 

Instead it’s quiet. 

Annabeth’s breathing is low, laborious. The manticore’s poison shouldn’t be enough to kill, but she took multiple hits. Spikes peek out of her left side, poison seeping into her shoulder, side, hip, and calf. It darkens her veins in an eerie spiderweb pattern she would hate. 

All at once, Percy is back on the Williamsburg bridge. There she is at his feet, looking up at him through cloudy eyes and dying. Percy made a promise then: no one touches her. Another bullet point on the long list of promises he couldn’t keep. 

Annabeth’s chest shudders with a raggedy gasp. “Perce?” She asks it like she isn’t sure it’s him. Percy wonders how much pain it takes to plant the seed of doubt that he would be anywhere but at her side right now.

Smoke billows from his lungs instead of a response, thick and choking in the wake of extinguished anger. There is only fear now, and after fear, there is nothing. 

This is the bit Percy can never stomach or sit through no matter how many times Chiron tries to drill it into his head. He sees Annabeth struggling for breath and wonders each time if this is the cruel trick the Fates planned for him all along. Percy never expected to live long, but he always expected Annabeth to live longer. From the moment he learned of the Prophecy, not having to live without her was the one certainty he held close to his chest. 

He fumbles for the emergency ambrosia in his pocket and cups Annabeth’s face, telling her he’s here. They don’t need words for this. She turns into the soft embrace of his palm and sighs, her lungs steady for that single exhale. He slips the ambrosia into her mouth and watches her chew carefully. 

“Tastes like you,” she croaks, gripping his wrist. “Your smile at Montauk.” 

That rallies Percy. Annabeth has kissed enough of his sea-born smiles to recognize the taste. He owes her a lifetime of them. 

“Annabeth. Baby, I’m here. I’m gonna get you safe, alright?” 

Her grip tightens on his wrist. “I love you.” 

Percy has to look away from her then. He can’t watch her say those words like they’re going to be her last. Like she wants them to be her last. 

“I love you too. But tell me that later, yeah? When you’re patched up. Please just let me carry you.” 

One of the newer campers runs over the hill, a son of Apollo who stays year-round. His eyes widen at the scene before him, and Percy wonders if this is going to be his first taste of real grief. 

“Will isn’t here,” the kid squeaks. “He’s gone for the weekend. Our next best healer is...” 

Percy is tired, but not unkind. “Spit it out, kid.” 

“Me.” 

A bit of Percy withers, both for Annabeth and the child shouldering an impossible burden. Percy has no choice but to carry them both. 

Determination solidifies in his bones, fortifying him in the wake of an unbearable weight. He gathers Annabeth in his arms and stands, feeling the burn of loss in his muscles. He is weak in the wake of a life without her. 

His feet carry him, perhaps on autopilot, to the creek running through camp. The son of Apollo senses his urgency and runs to iris message a more capable healer they don’t have time to reach. Annabeth is dying, and the poison waits for no one. Percy can feel her life force drifting away like a tug at the base of his spine. If he loses her, he will spend the rest of his life adrift. 

The cool creek water soaks Percy’s shoes, and he folds. By some miracle, he is steady as he lowers their bodies into the stream, thankful to the shallowness for not allowing him to sink. He holds Annabeth in his lap, lets her head tip back just enough for the stream to color her hair darker. It tugs at her curls like a loving hand. 

This is all Percy has left: a prayer that the water will recognize Annabeth as part of him. She is his life. If the water wants to save him, it will start with her. 

He makes the tough choice and pulls the spikes from her body. She is already dying from the poison. The risk of bleeding out is outweighed by the hope that the water will leech the death from her blood. Hope is all Percy has left. No smoke, no ash. The fire is gone. He is nothing but a body holding his bleeding heart in his hands. 

“I love you,” he chokes out, holding her limp neck in his palm. “I’m here. I’m right here. Stay with me.” 

Percy thinks of his dad watching from above, doomed to outlive everyone he has ever loved. The point of refusing immortality was a life full of love at the cost of length. He thinks of every Montauk kiss, how healing has always tasted like home, and how that somehow because synonymous with Annabeth. If she dies here, healing will taste bitter. He will never be able to eat ambrosia again. He will never want to. 

“You promised.” The current of the creek quickens, painting their clothes a darker color. Annabeth’s blood swirls in the water before disappearing downstream. The ground beneath them begins to shake. “I fought, I burned, and I yielded. For this. For her. Heal her.” 

Poseidon answers. The current reverses, washing over their bodies like a baptism, a rebirth. Annabeth’s veins fade back into her skin and the wounds knit shut. With each passing second, a bit of Percy’s heart returns to his chest. He can feel his fingers again. He can feel. Love and light have not died. 

Annabeth’s chest steadies and she gasps, the life returning to her in one fell swoop. She gasps I love you into Percy’s chest like those are the only words she knows, the only ones she’ll have him hear. He crushes her to him, their shirts sticking from the water, and whispers the same into her shoulder. I love you I love you I love you. 

Their grips don’t loosen. They don’t relax. They just cling to each other, fearful of letting go in the face of another brush with death. This is their life; this is why they hold each other so tightly, even in times of peace. 

“I’m sorry.” Annabeth’s voice is too small, detached. Percy pulls back to look at her and finds her staring at his chest. 

“I didn’t mean to get blood on your shirt.” She frowns. “This is one of my favorite shirts.” 

Percy sees the faraway look in her eyes and puts a finger under her chin, ducking until she locks on him. “Hey, easy. It’ll wash out.” He swallows thickly. “I love you.” It sounds like it’s okay. I love you, and you are still here, so it’s okay. 

Annabeth kisses him, ambrosia still on her lips, and it just tastes like her. 

[maplecornia]

chapter 13

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.89K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: so yeah, i've decided to start uploading every day for this story until i'm caught up with the chapters i have. i'll tell you guys when i'll go back to posting once a week.

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear |@mangminnie | @pixiekooo

"Kim Taehyung…"

As you utter the words, he pulls you closer, as though to hide you from the crowd.

There are too many people, too many chances which he can't stand to take.

You blush profusely, trying to ignore the fact that you are so close, that this is real, that you are touching Kim Taehyung.

After a moment, as though making a split-second decision, he drops his arms around you. Quickly, he takes your hand dashes down the bus, towards the open door.

You follow after him almost blindly, hardly noticing the looks people give you as he drags you outside the bus, outside of the crowd, into the safety of the park.

You are still surprised by the feel of his hand around yours, so large compared to your hand. His is surprisingly warm, causing a shiver to go through your body as with a single touch he can warm you from the inside out. Swallowing hard, you stare only at your linked hands, his beautiful artistic ones wrapped around your small cold hands. So distracted by the touch, you hardly even notice as he leads you down the steep steps.

Nor do you expect the pain your foot feels as soon as you step down with it on one of the steps.

As he reaches the floor past the steps, he turns around to you, witnesses as your leg fails you and you cry out half in pain, half in surprise as you fall on him. His eyes widen as it happens and instinctively wraps his arms around you, breaking your fall.

Both of you topple into a pile on the ground, the bus doors closing and driving away with a slight screech on the pavement.

At first, you hardly notice that he’s underneath you, you're in too much pain. However, as you position yourself so that you can sort of crouch into a standing position, your face meets his once more and you freeze in place.

Your hands are on either side of his face, your legs are cradling him, and your hair falls on one side of your face as you stare at him with wide eyes.

You can't move, not for the way he’s staring at you.

Neither one of you can look away.

Part of him wants you to stay like this forever.

Part of you wants him to never look away.

You swallow hard as you realize just how close you are to him, just how your faces are mere inches away from each other.

Almost out of nowhere, an image of the masked man pops into your mind. At the image, the similarities, you flinch off of him, rolling off of his body and onto the ground next to him.

He’s surprised at the action, and looks over at you, a bit confused.

It can't be him….it just….cant be.

But you can't put it out of your mind.

They have the same jawline. The same skin tone. The same muscle in their throat. The same honey doe eyes. The same curl to his hair.

As you stare at the sky, watching the clouds pass by, you can feel your heart pounding incessantly in your chest. You don't dare look at the impossible who has sat up, you don't know how you'd react.

How you'd look at him if you'd see the mirage, the same flash of the man once more.

When his face appears above yours, you find that there’s no trace of the masked man in his face. He's put his hat back on his head, adding that extra shadow in an attempt to conceal himself.

Staring at him with a bemused smile on your face, he glances at you in confusion, something about the look in his eyes making you smile softly.

He smiles back, almost giddily, his heart sparking with the idea of being so close to you, of finally meeting you again.

Straightening, he holds his hand out to you, a small offering.

You take it, after a moment. The action makes you feel safe, secure, as though nothing can hurt you. He pulls you to your feet, his hands steadying you as you sort of bounce to a stop, careful not to step on your foot.

Turning, you glance towards your foot as you slowly place it on the ground. Taking a deep breath, you sigh before resting your full weight on it. A small gasp escaping your lips, you cringe as stinging pain runs from your foot to the rest of your leg. Almost immediately, you pull your foot back up, your hands tightening around Taehyung's shirt.

Groaning, you wince slightly, biting your bottom lip.

Taehyung steps forward, moving his hand from your arm to your back, somehow knowing that you need that extra support.

“Are you okay?” he asks, startling you.

He hasn't talked until that moment, and the sound of his deep accented voice causes you to turn to him. As he raises his eyes to yours, you nod mutely in response, before turning back to your wound.

“I'm fine. I guess it's just bruised--” Your words fall short as you take a step forward, but the leg beneath you fails you once more. Gasping slightly in surprise, you collapse, Tae’s careful arms catching you before you hit the ground.

You cling to him, panting heavily, in a mixture of pain and panic.

What am I going to do?

Catching sight of your foot, you growl, cursing it for acting up. Cursing yourself for falling over that briefcase. Now you're being a burden.

You hate being a burden.

“Why did you lie?” he asks you softly, his voice right next to your ear. You can feel his breath on your neck, sending shivers down your spine. Swallowing hard, you turn to look at him, finding his eyes already locked on you.

After a moment, he turns away, scanning the park for a place to sit you down. As soon as he spies a park bench located a couple of feet away near the entrance, he smiles in satisfaction.

He turns back to you, only to find you trying once more to wiggle out of his grip and walk on your own. Scoffing, he rolls his eyes before pulling you gently in the direction of the bench.

“Let's go.” He gestures to the bench and you follow the movement trying to see what he’s talking about.

You realize what he wants you to do, and you immediately draw back. You don't need to rest. What you need to do is get inside that park, find your field of flowers and finish what you came to do. No injury you may have acquired will stop you from reaching your goal.

As he tries to move you towards the bench, you shake your head, reluctantly pulling back on his secure hold. He turns toward you, a bit confused.

“I'm fine.” You say as you meet his confused gaze, trying to make him release you. “I don't need to rest, I’m okay.”

You manage to break free of his hold, his hand falling to his side. Turning away, you force through the pain, ignoring the stings that continue to snake up your leg with each step. You bite your lip, but refuse to look back, refuse to give in.

Watching you hobble away, he can't help but smile. The fact that you think you can walk with an injury, is comical to him.

Rolling his eyes in amusement and slight annoyance, he shakes his head. You've only covered about an inch of ground since you let go of Taehyung, your injured foot dragging on the ground behind you. He smiles at the sight.

He only has to take one step toward you before he’s close enough to touch you. In one swift motion, he secures his hold underneath your arm, pressing his hand against the small of your back before hooking his other hand underneath your knees and lifting you in his arms.

You give out a small cry of surprise at the sudden motion, and your hands immediately secure themselves on the nape of Tae’s neck. He smiles as you pant from that small moment of fear, but you hardly notice. You're more concerned with the reason as to why your feet are no longer safe on the floor.

“What are you doing?” you cry out, clinging to him out of panic, almost afraid that you are too heavy for him to carry. He doesn't answer you, smiling to himself. For some reason, his expression irks you. It's as though he has just won a fight, and you lost. You sulk almost, slumping in his arms, and he chuckles.

“This isn't necessary.” You mutter under your breath, as he releases you. He places you carefully on the bench, before kneeling in front of you. He looks up at you, patiently waiting for you to meet his gaze.

“You're in pain, so yes it is. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself on my watch.” He replies before reaching forward and brushing your hand with his own as though to capture your attention. You stare at him in surprise, unable to say anything in response.

He’s so kind.

You've heard of his kindness, of his humble nature, but never before have you expected that same nature to be extended to you. Why should he do any of this for you? Why would he want to do any of this for you?

He clears his throat as he stands up, turning around to look for some sign of a food truck or stand so that he can get you some ice to put on your ankle. Luckily, he spies one a couple of ways inside the park, and smiles, relieved. They are bound to have ice or something that he can use to make you feel better.

Nodding decisively, he turns to you. Noticing as you shiver a bit, he reaches for the black coat hanging securely across your satchel.

At the motion, you look at him in wonder, watching his every movement as he gingerly puts your jacket around your shoulders. His eyes widen a bit at the sight of you watching him, but he merely smiles warmly in response.

“I saw a place inside the park where I could get you something for your ankle.” He informs you and you nod, turning your head for a moment to try and peer in the direction he’s gesturing to.

“I'm going to go for a minute so I could get it for you. You better stay here until I get back, okay?” you roll your eyes slightly at his tone, before nodding.

“You don't have to treat me like a child, I won't move. But you should know that this isn't required. I've dealt with worse.” It’s true and you won't get into the details right now, but all that needs to be said is that you fall. A lot.

He smirks almost playfully at your remark, and leans forward, his hand almost subconsciously resting on your knee to steady himself as he does.

“Really? Care to explain?” he teases, leaning forward and on instinct, you draw back, a bit of embarrassed blush beginning to explode in your cheeks.

“No…” you respond, regarding him with half confused, half nervous eyes as he peers at you with his mischievous ones. What exactly is he trying to do?

“Besides, weren't you going to get some ice?” you continue almost indignantly, indicating forcefully with your chin towards the direction which he was pointing before. He glances the way you point with bored, disinterested eyes before turning them on you, leaning forward once more, his face mere inches from your own.

“I thought you said it wasn't necessary.” You don't reply to that, just draw carefully back again, your hands tightening on the insides of your jacket as though it were some sort of protective shield to cover your pounding heart. You swallow hard as he continues to move closer, the elfish grin on his face doing nothing to help matters. After a moment of this, he chuckles softly to himself before pulling away once more.

“Don't worry, I’m going. I was serious about helping you.” You pull yourself back into your normal position staring up at him, unsure of how to react. As his hand leaves the safety of your knee, you find that you hadn't even noticed it was there in the first place. The touch was so comfortable, natural, as though made especially for you.

“It is necessary.” He says, almost out of nowhere.

“I'm sorry?” you ask, not sure if you heard that right, and still slightly confused at what he may mean by that. He looks back at you, half in amusement.

“It's necessary to me that you're alright.” You don't have anything to say to that, as he turns around, disappearing into the few people that have been milling about outside. As he leaves, you realize that you can hardly hear anything but the roar in your ears, and the pounding of your heart.

How can he just say that as though it were nothing?

You watch him until you can no longer see his retreating back nor the black hat he wears above the curls of his hair. Turning away, you smile, half to yourself.

Is this happening?

You aren't dreaming, are you? You look down at your hands, and for good measure, you pinch yourself, wincing a bit at the sharp pain.

“Nope….” you groan, rubbing your wrist. “Not a dream.”

And yet...

You bite your lip at the thought of the memories, of the impossible day you had, of the excitement which has been churning over in your heart, hitting you deep in your soul.

Your hands clutch onto the insides of your jacket as you pull it tighter around your body. Against your will, a small squeal escapes from the confines of your mouth, almost as though you were a schoolgirl again.

All of it is just too good, too good to be true.

Tilting your head back, you close your eyes, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves, get your thoughts in order. Looking to your side, you catch sight of your satchel and are reminded of the reason you wanted to come here in the first place. Smirking, half to yourself, you rummage within your pack, pulling out your sketchbook, a couple of pencils, and your trusty eraser. Looking around for a flower that looks exactly like the one out of BigHits window, you're lucky enough to find one behind you, waving slightly in the wind. Smiling in relief, you pluck it off of the bush, setting it down carefully next to you on the bench. As you flip open your sketchbook, turning many pages of many different creations over until you find the one you have been working on, you let out a sigh.

“Alright, my little model.” You mutter to the flower next to you. “It's time to start working, huh?”

You need no response, even as you glance at it as if awaiting one. You smile to yourself before picking up one of your many pencils and getting to work.

It's as though when the tip touches the paper, everything else around you fades away, and you are lost in the world your mind has created spilling from your brain and landing on the sheet. It's as though you have encased yourself in a little space, a space made just for you. It offers you silence, peace of mind.

In this small space, you can do whatever you like, you can accomplish anything, your mind is the mere limit.

Every sketch, every drawing has a purpose, a story to tell. Everything you write, every idea that comes into your mind, can grow into something more. Every song you sing has some meaning, some purpose behind it. Every dance you have ever performed is made to express the anger, sadness, or pain, or even mere happiness of each song it is made for.

Some more than others, it's true.

The point is, people, make things, create things just so that they can get their message across. Just so that they can tell the world their story.

You want to do the same.

The idea of it makes your heart bud with excitement, the infinite possibilities which are offered to you. There’s only one thing that is missing, one thing that any creator searches for.

Someone to share it with you.

Once you find that, then your work would mean something.

What does it all mean if there’s no one to see the world you have created? If there is no one to recognize just what story you are trying to create, does it even exist?

You want it to mean something, you want people to see it, to see what you long to tell. You want the world to see your creation, you want the world to hear your message, to experience your story. Even if you had one, or a few people who can see it, then you would be okay. Even if only one person understood, and was able to see the world through your eyes…

Maybe then would you feel complete?

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: so these next few chapters will be a lot of taetae and yen moments so...be prepared

chapter 14 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

[hells-angel]

I like you even before I met you

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 1716

Warning/s: nothing much, maybe some depressing moods

Summary: Being single on Valentines day doesn't have to be depressing. 

a/n: It was supposed to be for Valentines day, its just a little late. and I'm sorry about the tittle I just cant think of a good one. (but I'm just really lazy to think one)

"are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Wanda asked for at least the whole day. she was already on the door, but her feet seem to not move at the thought of leaving without you.

Shaking your head, you smiled and approach her. "no, you don't need me whining about my lonely life in the background, you guys enjoy your night" you mumbled, fixing her dress and making one last check on her entire get up.

"Alright, but if you change your mind-"

Before she can say more, you grab her shoulder and turn her around towards the door, where Vision was already waiting outside. "I know, I know, enjoy"

She gave you one last look before they disappear into the distance. Turning back into the tower you were greeted by utter silence. Almost everyone had something to do on Valentine's day, either they have a Date or they just busied themselves with something.

But being single is not all that bad, Valentine's dates for singles shouldn't be sad unless you want it to be. So with the towers almost empty you relaxed your shoulders and begun to plan your evening.

The plan was simple, cook some dinner and binge watch some cringe movie. However, nothing seems to be working your way as the simple meal you hope to eat burns. You let out curses as you quickly put out the fire before hearing footsteps approaching.

You lifted your head, tilting it on the side to see Bucky walk in, followed by a gentle breeze that circulated the room. Your chest fluttering as his eyes met yours. If only he knew how much he affected you, while everyone was frightened with his big strong man image, he had the opposite effect on you. Something about him seems to sit so well with you.

Months and years of painful flirting with him, plus countless drunken confessions he never did ask you out so you never did anything about your feelings for him again.

"oh, you're here?" you asked, your voice quiet and gentle as you run the water on the burned pan.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come out of my room" A guilt and disappointed look passed on his face. Making you quickly realize the heaviness of the words you spoke.

"no! No! That's not what I meant!" You quickly called as he turned around to leave. He stops on his tracks before turning back again.

Wiping your hands on the towel you cautiously step out the counter. "I just didn't expect you to be home on Valentine's day"

You gently spoke but the thought of him being with someone makes your chest tighten in pain.

His eyes glazed over at your question before shaking his head at you. "Don't have anywhere to go" his voice came out hoarse, and before you can ask what he's going to do in the kitchen, your question was answered with the growling of his stomach.

You and Bucky exchanged looks, his eyes more on embarrassment before your chuckles filled the silent hall. The previous awkward air was all gone.

Glancing at the burned pans and messy kitchen, that you were sure you would be yelled out by Tony later, there no way you can cook and you're not sure if Bucky can.

"Should we order take out and watch some movie?" You asked, wishing he would agree. Your heart leap in Joy when he gave you a nod.

" We can open some of Tony's prize wine" you smirk, tilting your chin up at the lined up expensive wines behind the glass.

"wouldn't he get mad?" He asked

You shrugged with a laugh "I'm sure he wouldn't even notice it's gone"

"come on"

Halfway through the rom-com movie with Chinese take-out on both your hands and a half-empty wine. Your attention diverted to the winter soldier who can't seem to take his eyes away from you.

After making sure he was looking at you, you took your eyes away from the movie. "what? is there something on my face?" You asked, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand "Is it the sauce?"

He looks flustered for being caught but eventually cleared his throat. "no, it's just...It's not making sense"

You turned to look at him, raising one brow"what is?"

"how come you don't have a date tonight?" He questions as he straightened his back up to look into your eyes. Your mouth fell open as you attempted to formulate a witty but honest response but instead, a flirty one came out.

"how come you never asked me for a date?"

"what?" You watched as Bucky swallowed and his eyes dilated.

"You heard me, Sargent," you said putting down the Chinese take-out on the table.

"oh, I .."

Silence threatens to take over and one look on his expression feels like you've been washed over by cold water. Your brain reminded you what you've just done and why you stop flirting with him. Thought he looks cute being flustered after flirting with him You hated seeing him awkward, depress, and solemn.

After a moment, you clear your throat.

"Sorry, must be the wine talking, you know me when I get drunk" you sheepily spoke. Referring to the countless times you got drunk and confess to him, without him doing anything about it.

Turning your gaze back on the TV, He smiles bitterly "right"

"It's not like I'm your type anyway" you mumbled to yourself but thanks to his hearing he heard it anyway.

"that's not true" he quickly tears his eyes away from the TV to you, then down to his hands like it's the most interesting thing in the world right now.

"It just someone like me...is not for someone like you"

Upon hearing his words a frown etched in your face as you shifted on the couch to face him, the movie already forgotten on the background "someone like you? Bucky do you see yourself in the mirror? You're like equal footing with Steve"

"I'm a broken man Y/n, I'm not a hero" he admitted, his words shattering your heart.

"then we're seeing differently, when I look at you I don't see a broken man, I see a man working hard to fix himself and correct the things he never intended to do, you're not broken you're just...." you pause for a moment to think "... Have cracks at the moment but we'll fix it one step at a time"

You beamed, smiling brightly at him.

Earning his lips to upturned "I don't think there's much a difference between broken and crack, doll"

"that's not the point! The point is they're both fixable" you pouted earning another smile on his lips. Suddenly your eyes met and unlike the countless times he turned away, he finds it hard to look away this time, and so were you.

He didn't allow his eyes to drift away from yours as he stares at you intently.

"Why do you like me so much?" He asked quietly. His question startling you for a second before you began to process how it all started.

Breaking your eye intact with him you cross your arms and slouch on the soft couch, eyes fixed on the TV but not watching it "I think I like you even before I met you"

"what? How I that even possible?"

"Steve used to tell me stories about you, how much you cared about him, how you protect him, and how you're always there with him. He told me everything you did for him and it made me want to be loved like that, to be love and cared for by a person that much, then I met you and before I know it I'm falling in love" you explained, reminiscing about the times you wonder how it would felt to be loved like that.

You knew the other avenger's care and love you but there's a difference between being loved by a person who sees you for you.

A sigh leaves his throat "Y/n I don't think I-"

"no it's alright, you don't like me that way and it's okay," you said quickly, you already made him uncomfortable countless times, the least you can do is spare him the explanation and spare yourself with the heartache.

"no, I like you...a lot actually" he almost whispered, his lips in a tight smile before his mood downhill as his eyes landed on his bionic arms. Opening and closing his fingers as of resting if it was real.

You didn't miss the look of his face darkening as he clenched his hands.

"I just don't want to affect you with my burden"

Your eyebrows furrowed one again as you scoot closer to him and took his bionic hands with yours, intertwining them together. Your other hand cupping his cheeks and turning his head to look at you.

"Bucky, trust me, you're not a burden" you coaxed, voice gentle and soft. The way his eyes shone under the dimly lighted room or the way he gulps. You swore this man will be your death,

Bucky’s gaze traced every detail on your face and once again he found it hard to look away he swallowed thickly, trying to distract from the urges of his mind. But his body moved even before he can think.

Your heartbeat loudly against your chest as you watched him lean in closer. You felt how his hand felt against your face to keep you in place

Your faces were a mere centimeters apart, you can practically feel his breath against you when he stops. "is this okay?"

You chuckled at his words "definitely" you breathe and that all it took before he leaned down and captured your lips.

"Bucky" you mumbled against his lips after you pulled away slightly, a wide grin mirroring each other's expression.

He drapes his arm around your shoulder and pulled you against him." this means we're together right?" He asked hesitantly,

"do you want it to be?" You asked peaking up to meet his eyes on you.

"more than anything in the world" he smiled, just enough to melt your heart all over again.

"then that settles it," you contently said, burying yourself on his chest as he lands another kiss on your forehead.

[thetierdslytherin]

The Avatar’s sister

Bolin x reader(korra’s sister)

2k words and it’s kinda poorly edited 

a/n there’s some cuss words and some violence?

“We were just looking for the bathroom and we got lost!”

“Ah the old I had to pee excuse you know i'm sick and tired…” I don’t catch the rest of what he's saying because I see a teenage boy dressed in pro bending gear or as I like to call him our way out of this situation. I motion for him to come over praying to the spirits that he can read the room.

          “There you two are, I've been looking everywhere for you two! It's alright Toza there with me” Up close I can see that it's actually Bolin the earth bender for the fire ferrets. Spirits can my day get any better. I've seen a few pro bending matches before and listened to even more. One of the few perks of being the avatar’s sister. While she spends her days training on air temple island I spend my days wandering the city my favorite pastime being watching pro bending matches.Spirits he looks even better up close 

          “Yeah were with him” I say flashing the man a million watt smile and he responds with 

           “so you see we’re together” Oh I like where this is going. Before I can respond Korra replies

            “well not together together” speak for yourself Korra. I'm more than happy to be together together with him. He starts to stammer embarrassed by Korra words so I try to save all of us 

            “You see Toza Bolin and I are together and my sister was just tagging along with us.” Please let this work, if not Tenzin is going to kill me for letting korra go out with me.

           “Ah I don't care I got work to do” the man begins to walk away and I pull the stammering duo out of the room before either of them could blow our cover. I turn around to see a blushing Bolin and a confused looking Korra, I really need to teach her how to pick up on social cues 

           “I’m y/n, a big fan of yours, so Bolin why don't you show the two of us around” I say while grabbing his bicep motioning for him to lead. Bolin showed us around for a while before leading us into an area overlooking the arena “So what do you think best seats in the house huh?” It really is you can see the whole arena from up here and it's much less crowded than the seats in the stadium plus there isn't a guy as easy on the eyes as Bolin down there. 

           “Oh absolutely the view just keeps getting better and better” it's not often that I get to meet people as just y/n, not the avatar's sister, or korra's younger sister. It's nice to be myself around someone knowing that they're not using me to get to the avatar. Besides from what I've seen Bolin is too sweet and innocent to do that anyways.

          “Unbelievable this place is even more amazing than I imagined” I let out a small chuckle at Korra's words. It's nice to see her getting excited at the smallest things, it shows me that she can still be a kid and not burdened by the weight of the world. It makes sneaking out and a possible chewing out from Tenzin worth it “Names Bolin by the way”

“Korra” “I know” they both look at me waiting for an explanation “well i'm just a huge fan of yours” I pause “well the fire ferrets in general” 

“Psst Bolin”

“Yeah” 

“I told you you have to stop bringing your crazy fangirls in here before the matches get them out of here” His older brother Mako whispers this to him Korra and I both hear due to the fact that they suck at whispering. It almost hurts my feelings that we aren't the only ones he brought back here but then again he's not the first guy i've flirted with here. Though he is the first guy i've flirted with that seems so...innocent.

          “Aw c'mon Mako I kinda promised them that they could stay but I got a good feeling about them there's something special about the two of them. I know it” Well he's half right there. I wonder why he lied to his brother so we could stay. He never promised us we could stay back here. Some part of me hopes it's because he's interested in me too. “Come here I want you to meet my brother Mako” he says eagerly pulling me towards him 

          “Mako! Wow I heard you play on the radio” oh boy she's totally fangirling. I personally don’t see what's so interesting about Mako or his brooding douchebag act “cmon Bolin we’re up” Mako says completely ignoring Korra walking past her, see brooding douchebag. Korra not taking the hint turns to Bolin “or I could meet him later”

           “yeah he gets real focused before a match anyways wish me luck” his comment makes me laugh. Something about the positive energy he radiates is infectious. He jogs away, I yell “good luck Bolin” followed by “good luck knock em out” from Korra 

         “So do i have to be the one to say mako is bad news or i have to let you figure it out yourself” I cross my arms giving her my best ‘i know better than you’ look. While Korra may be the older sister, only by 11 months might I add, she doesn't act it. I blame all of her teachers and instructors for never letting her live when she was younger. Now that she's basically an adult seeing the world for the first time she's very sheltered.

          “He is not bad news y/n you heard bolin he was just focused for the match! Besides, did you see him?” let her figure it out for herself it is.

          “Yes and i also saw you drooling at him” I tease 

          “Oh please like you were any better with Bolin you were practically throwing yourself at him” these are the best moments when we can just goof off.

“First off I do not throw myself at anyone, he's just sweet and insanely hot. Secondly which one of us actually has experience with boys” she opens her mouth to defend herself before quickly shutting it. Got her there. “Exactly now pay attention the match is starting” We both turn and lean on the balcony watching the start of the match.

           “The rookie ferrets came out of nowhere and made it further than anyone expected this season but tonight they face their toughest test yet folks” we watch the two teams trading back and forth blows until the fire ferrets ultimately win with Mako knocking all 3 members of the opposing team into the water. I turn to Korra to ask how her first ever pro bending match was but stopping when I see her and Mako holding each other's gazes.

          “Yes! Whoo did you see that one more win and were in the championship tournament!” Bolin yells running into the room skidding to a halt in front of me “so what'd you think y/n?” he looks down at me trying to conceal his excitement waiting for me to answer him looking happier than i've ever seen him-if that's possible. 

           “You guys were amazing Bolin!” I practically yell pulling him into a quick hug.

           “Bolins got some moves huh?” 

          “You could say that again” Before Bolin can say that again Korra grabs him by his shirt pulling him towards her 

          “That was amazing” then korra promlety pushed him away as Mako and Hasook approach arguing about the last match

          “You did more harm than good out there, you almost cost us the match!”

          “We won didn't we?”

          “Barely” 

          “Get off my case pal” Hasook yells before storming out of the room.This doesn't put a damper on korra's mood though as she addresses Mako “You guys were amazing out there especially you mr hat trick” Mako yet again walks right past her him barely paying her any attention to her half heartly saying “oh your still here”

          “What gives you the right to be such an ass mr hat trick?” I say coming to my sister's defence. Pro bender or not it doesn't give him the right to be a jerk. I even bet I could beat him sparring. He's not even good enough to be this much of a jerk.

          “Your good do you think you could show me some tricks?” no no no korra that wasn't the deal I sneak you out we watch one pro bending match and we go back to air temple island.

          “Yeah sure absolutely i'm just not sure how my earth bending might translate to your water bending but we'll figure it out” This cant get any worse if she lets them know she's the avatar we're toast. No ones supposed to know the avatars in republic city

          “Won't be a problem-”

          “korra's right it won't be a problem because we really have to go-” 

           “because i'm an earth bender” great this is j ust great.

          “Im sorry no no i didn't mean to assume ya know cause i was just figuring since well with your water tribe getup that you two were well water bender” 

          “Korras just messing with you of course were both water-” 

          “You're right, I'm a water bender too and fire bender” social. Cues. Korra. 

         “Hmm hmm i'm very confused right now” Bolin 

         “Your the avatar and i'm an idiot” Mako 

         “Both are true” Korra. I throw myself into the nearest chair running my hands through my y/h/c hair.I wonder if I beg for forgiveness if Tenzin will still ground us for the rest of forever 

          “I need a drink” I say, completely ignoring Bolin’s freak out about Korra being the avatar I've heard it all before. Just like that my chances with Bolin have gone out the window no one has ever liked me more than my sister she's the avatar I can't compete with that .I never will be able to. 

          Nonetheless I follow the brothers into the training room and sit on the stairs looking as happy to be there as Mako does. I don't pay much attention to Bolin and Korra training “so mr hat trick is there any reason why you're so prickly or are you always like this?”

          He scoffs “no i just don’t appreciate the two of you showing up like that besides your sister is a piece of work”           “No kidding hat trick don't you know being the avatar comes with a hero complex?” Okay so he's not as bad as I thought.

          “Well it's getting late so i'm going to turn in but you kids have fun”

          “Speaking of Korra we really do need to be going” I speak in a tone to let her know it wasn't an option.I stand up brushing my water tribe robes off “it really was great seeing you Bolin but we have to go”

          “Sorry my sister is being such a wet blanke-” “now Korra” 

          “Hey um y/n could you hang back for a second” here it goes. Is your sister single? Can you set me up? 

          “What do you need Bolin?” 

         “You mean other than you in my life” we both cringe after he says that.

          “That has to be the worst pick up line i've ever heard” 

         He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly “heh yeah it wasn't really my A material but the real reason i wanted to talk to you was well i was mostly just wondering well we have a match next”

          “Bolin spit it out i'm sure it isn't that bad”

          “Do you want to come to our match tomorrow then get some food after” he looks at the ground playing with his fingers. Where was the confident Bolin I met earlier? 

          “Yes”

          “Well it was a stupid idea anyways I shoul- wait yes? Really! I uh I mean of course you would want to get food with me” maybe he's more insecure than I initially thought. But then again people do have layers.

       I kiss him on the cheek turning away from him and walking to the door so he couldn't see the blush on my face “I'll see you tomorrow Bolin”

[tarasylnin-lavellan]

Justice’s Decision

"You are not the hounds that I was expecting," balefully glowing blue eyes watched the pair from the trees.

"DIRTHAMENS SHADOWY BALLS DON'T DO THAT

!" Harel was near panicked by the sudden words. Cole turned to the source an exclaimed "Your here!" Tara stepped further into the weak dawn light painting her pale face in the washed out illumination. "You've come sniffing around for me, Da'len. Unfortunately, you've trekked all this way for nothing. You should leave before the inquisition truly comes bearing down its arms. I would not want to see you bloody your hands." Tara looked worn to the end of breaking and her hands shook as she rested one against a tree. "Because they will come, they will have too, they will come with dogs and armor; and I won't have them hunt you too you must run, run any direction but mine." 

Harel looked at the woman before her, eyebrows climbing in frank astonishment is this truly what she believed that a hoard of hunters was on her trail? "Are you daft? Mad? Tara we came here to find you to stop you from running away! No one is hunting you!" Tara's head snapped toward Harel and she flinched at the sudden movement 

"Not yet they aren't, not yet, you did get here remarkably fast however. I don't know how you found me so quickly, but for your own safety you have to run." Cole’s weak but insistent voice answered Tara's confusion "We found you when you didn't want to be found, we know you're hurting and we want to help. Please! Let me help!" Tara snarled deep in her chest an animal wounded near to madness " I didn't want to be found for good reason! You knew that Dalen, I won't have you hurt because of ME!" As the turmoil in Tara grew a deep blue light coiled out from her, darker than the previous time its darkness reflecting her own. "Just go..." the words were tired and sad. 

Cole and Harel stand side by side as Tara attempts to frighten the pair off, but they're stock still, their faces unchanging even as the blue wisps lick out at them threateningly. Harel watched the display meant to panic them "we're not leaving." Cole spoke softly hearing the desperate hurt in Tara the rents in her soul. "burdens break your back till your body aches. We will help carry. We must..." Tara face goes blank as she thinks of returning the pain too much. "I cannot go back, and I cannot stop them from hunting me you can't be in the path of danger not for me. No one else is dying because I was made into a weapon No one I. will. not. allow. it."  Harel started to feel an indignant anger rising in her this damned woman "WILL YOU PUT THAT STUPID FUCKING SELFLESSNESS DOWN FOR ONE SECOND!!! her fists clenched tightly in frustration "you are not a weapon, YOURE TARA! You're so much stronger than you think, please, please don't lose yourself!

Cole could feel the choking fear the panic coiling its hateful tendrils around Tara. "I don't like this. It feels cold, like wind before the storm." Harel held her hands out to Tara in supplication "no one's going to hurt you, please, just come back. No one will get you, well make sure of it please don't run away." Cole felt it then the old memory the screaming of a child taken by Hate. "There are no templars! No voices screaming! You don't have to run, shouting mamae. You don't have to.....

Tara felt herself losing control and gripped her head in dread. " They will follow you here, I made a mistake, I am a fool. I never should have allowed a Templar to love me, just even think that I was normal, that I was even close to worthy of being normal! Just go..." The light of her bound soul swirled darker wrapping close to her. Harel called trying to break the hold of the panic "you're a lot of things but a fool isn't one. you need to calm down, you're scaring Cole. And me, just a bit. You're not going to hurt us and we're afraid but we're afraid FOR you. Please. Calm down" Tara's eyes closed and tears streamed down her face "my fault, I am too blame, I knew better" she fell to her knees "I knew better. Cole felt the hurt old and jagged wrapped in layers of walls now exposed and screaming monster, a monster I am a monster. "don't drown in yourself. The lion roars in grief not in rage. Please. Don't hurt yourself, it's hurting us, hurting him." Tara choked on the fear on the hatred she felt inside " His eyes I CANT no... No I can't I just hurt people I can't" she curled around the pain "this is my fault." Cole reached trying to tug on the pain but it was so old so omnipresent that he couldnt tug it loose. "you're a sword and a scalpel and a shield. You don't hurt because you want to, like Erimond and Samson, you hurt because you have to. You protect and pretend to step above the thing in you, to be more than just the breath and the purpose. Stop hurting yourself!" A ragged sob tore from Tara "I hurt everything I touch! I cannot go back not now not ever, I cannot bear to the see fear in his eyes.... I cannot watch him break inside."  

Cole felt it within her the desperate need to be accepted for this to be a bad dream. Tara wanted to stay but she was so afraid of it she ran away. But one person was there, a light shining in dark forest of her mind. "breathe. This isn't you. It's the fear, the forgotten one speaking. You can't let it talk over you and control everything. You're losing yourself to what you think will happen. Lions roar but they don't bite without reason, the serpent curls around his paws and he's silent." He conjured the thought of Dorian like a Talisman, trying to calm her down.

Tara latched onto the one person she knew didn't fear her with the desperate strength of a drowning person. "Dorian? What could he say? how could he" Her eyes began to lighten in color with her brothers mention. Cole reached for it pulling the threads in her "he shouts over the noise of the old songs, the trauma of the circle, the fires in Kirkwall. He screams instead of hissing, his love and his hate all so that the lion knows, knowledge dripping like sweat when you held him, shaking craving the blue song. He learned its name and now the lion has a shape on his tongue to call your eyes." Tara stares at the boy in desperate, sad, hope mute. But the light has returned to crystal blue and slowed curling around her like mist again. Cole reaches for the hurt and speaks "Put your sword down, the scales don't have to fill with blood. You fear the inevitable even when it isn't to be. It's ok to fear, to be afraid of what might happen, but it won't." Cole stares forward, ice blue eyes unmoving and unblinking as if he speaks to Tara and yet, not to her at all. As if he speaks to someone else entirely "Don't be afraid but don't be angry. You're safe, Da'len."

Tara wanted to believe, she needed to believe but everything she had ever learned told her otherwise. She whispers "How could he ever see past..." Cole watched her with sadness in his eyes "Monsters are real, he's seen them before. He needs to look again, like a mouse who's lost its tail to a trap, he needs to see, to know that it's not the same. Love is love and you'll give him back his tail." Tara knelt trying to pull the frayed pieces of her mind back together. Her mothers voice spoke in her heart, and she looked up "I cannot go back to the castle, not until I know,  I cannot trap myself there." Cole watches as she tries to accept a new path and his voice is firm for once "we'll protect you. You won't be trapped, I promise. And if you are then...." Harel stepped up next to Cole face still and stoic for once "then we'll let you leave for good and we won't follow you. We'll even keep those people off your trail. Just....trust us."  

Tara knew the path she had to take not returning and not fleeing. She had to try, she had to give him a chance, as terrifying as that was. "if he... wants answers that's his right but, he has to meet me outside of that place. My mother would kill me if I walked into a cage willingly." Cole nods feeling the old memories "Hands on my shoulder she raises her voice, but not to frighten to lecture. Don't let the shem keep you in submission. We are the People, and never again shall we submit. Eyes stern but loving, she would reprimand me if I allowed myself to be foolish." Tara nods looking at the pair decision firming in her eyes. "He can meet me, alone, in the Emerald Graves I will wait."

Harel watches as Tara breathes heavily, her purple eyes for once wide in fear instead of narrowed in disinterest. It was a shocking sight to see one so strong reduced to this mess but it was understandable. She walked this thin line, always keeping her guard up. Now that she was tired, it was only natural for her to regress. "You've chosen an interesting place, Hah'ren. May the grave of Mahariel give your conversation the strength to pull through this. Would.....would you like one of us to stay?" Tara shook her head staggering to her feet "No, no. This must be seen to alone. But thank you. I have to face him by myself."

Cole watches as he always does with his moping face drawn low, sad to leave Tara alone after such suffering. The Inquisitor could see the pain in his eyes like a wounded Halla. Tara looked at the young man "it has to be alone Cole if...if things go badly I want to.. I want it to be alone I will go there and wait This has to be done right."

Cole nods, his hat dipping down in a short stroke and never once turning upwards. Harel comforts the boy with a hand on his shoulder, trying to bring him back from his sadness of leaving the Inquisitor alone. "We're here" it is all he says before he shimmers a light green, disappearing into the darkness to find his way towards Skyhold.

Harel shakes her head, an eyebrow raised as she mutters, "Love how he expects me to keep up with his invisible ass." Its the last thing Harel says that barely draws a smirk from Tara. Just barely. The trees gather around the storm mage as she bids her companions goodbye, setting off with the same heavy heart but so much less apprehension. She makes her winding way to the heart of the vast forest feet silent on the ground. She is a phantom in this place, her path undecided. As night falls around her the shadows dull the sharpened edges of reality. she sets up camp on a high rock bluff in the great trees the song of the branches soothing and sad. Let this be the place she thinks if I have to go with Falon'din let it be here.

Cole and Harel return to skyhold quickly leading the disgruntled Hart with them. Dorian bustled through the crowd his face drawn and afraid. "please PLEASE tell me that you didn't lose her."

Harel folds her arms, appraising the worried Tevinter before speaking "She's fine and safe and super fucking rattled. But safe. She wants to meet Cullen in the Emerald Graves; her territory instead of here since you know....its kind of uninhabitable to her at the moment. Dorian lets a whoosh of held breath at the words of the half breed. "She is alive, and she is thinking at least." Cole interrupts the thought though pushing past Harel the Qunari-elf is confused at the sudden movement before he starts speaking as well. His voice is tinged with emotion as he mimics Harel's voice "I'll kill that curly haired bastard Ill shock his shit for what he's done the fucking templar!" Dorian lunged forward covering the boys mouth with his hand. Leveling a glare that could've frozen the sun at Harel he hissed "stop thinking in such vulgar terms!" Cole subsided and Dorian stood thinking "Now.....She wants to meet him in the Graves? Oh Isa'ma'lan, you make everything so planned, don't you. I've tried doing as much damage control as I can from here but...I suppose we'll have to trust what Tara will do next is the right thing. Kaffas, she worries me so."

Dorian strode alone heading for the Commanders Tower, better from him after all. Pushing open the door he sees Cullen standing behind his desk hands braced on its surface his face drawn and haggard. At the mages approach Cullen's head snaps up a worried flash in his eyes. "Is there word?!" Dorian held up a manicured hand "Pack you essentials, if you want to speak to Tara, she wants you, and you alone, in the Emerald Graves. I don't have to say do not try anything after that little talk we had, now do I?" Cullen blinks his brow furrowing "why didn't she come back here?" Dorian rolled his eyes in exasperation "The tactician that you are should know the reason. Come here, where you are? After your terrible reaction? She probably thinks you'll try to kill her and we both know how much that will hurt the both of you. At least out there, there's control in the place she feels strongest.

All right my lovelies one more chapter to this whenever I can bully my sad tired artists brain into making more ✨words✨

after that I will put all of them together into one continuous story line 

as always all the love and thanks in the whole world to @w-h-4-t for the dialog help Ir lath ma Da’len 

[isntthisenoughwhatwouldbeenough]

Surrounded By Love (Polyhamilsquad x Reader)

TW: Self harm

A/N: I finished a request! Yay! I promise I'll get to these as fast as I can! I hope you all like this. And please if you're ever thinking about herself PLEASE DON'T. You remember that you are important and loved! Please look for help there are people who WANT to be there for you, Please PLEASE don't hurt yourself. I don't specifically talk about suicide in this but there is swlf harm mentioned, but if you ever need help please call 1- 800 -273 - 8255 thats national suicide prevention hotline it seems you can also text if you're more comfortable doing that there is also the crisis text line where you can just text instead of call. Please be safe and know you are LOVED.

TW: Self harm, dark thoughts

.

.

.

You had been doing so well lately. You were genuinely happy. School was going well, you had great friends and a wonderful relationship with four of the most wonderful men in the world. They were sweet, kind, patient, and understanding. They loved you so much and always reminded you of that fact. They loved you completely so when they asked you to move in with them you were more than happy…..

“Hey cupcake,” Herc grabs your attention from the show you’re watching snuggled up to him on the couch. “Can we ask you something?”

You look up at him and see all of the boys smiling encouragingly.

“Sure,” you shrug.

“We want you to know no matter what your answer,” Alex starts, “we love you .”

“And if you feel its too much, that’s okay,” Laf is quick to add gently taking your hand in his.

“Okay,” you say slowly, growing a little more cautious.

“Baby girl, we were wondering,” John begins.

“Hoping,” Alex cuts in.

“Wondering,” Herc cuts in this time, “if you would consider moving in with us?”

You pause a moment processing what they’re saying, asking before your confusion fades and a smile spreads across your face.

“You really want me to move in,” you ask, looking at each of them.

“Yes, mon ange,” Laf kisses your hand, “we do.”

“We miss you so much when you’re not here,” John adds.

“And we figured the solution would be to have you be here with us,” Alex finishes.

“What do you say, cupcake?” Herc smiles at down at you while you look up at him. “Move in with us?”

“I would love to move in with you!” You say, smiling. “As long as you’re sure,” you add never wanting to be an ‘inconvenience’.

John is the first to jump up and pull you into his arms.

“Yes! Baby girl, we’ve never been more sure of anything in our lives.”

He kisses you soundly and holds you tightly.

“We’ve wanted to ask you for awhile, but we didn’t want rush you.” Alex is next to take you in his arms nuzzling your neck as he speaks.

“The only thing we’ve been more sure of ,” Laf starts as he takes you in his arms next, looking deeply into your eyes. “Is how much we all love you.”

He kisses you sweetly, before Herc has you back in his arms again.

“And now that you’ve agreed,” he rests his forehead against yours, “we couldn’t be happier.”

“Neither could I,” you say, reveling in the love you found with your boys.

*****

That was all five months ago and everything had been going smoothly, but as the boys got busy more recently, those terrible thoughts started running through your head. Thoughts you hadn’t had in a long time, something you thought you were done with. The self doubt, dread, and cruel thoughts flooding you without warning.

It had been going on for about four weeks, the boys schedules had become hectic and school seemed to be more difficult, more demanding than usual and your grades had started to slip. You were starting to stress and the boys were distracted by their own work, so it was hard to lean on them. You felt like you didn’t want to add on to their stress. You didn’t want to be a burden.

The thoughts, feelings started to creep into your mind. Why can’t you just handle this yourself? Why can’t you be better? Can’t you handle this? Why are you so useless? You started to feel anxious and not good enough, and your old habits started calling to you. You did your best to ignore it all, but one week later and you couldn’t take it.

You were sitting in the bathroom, your apartment was empty and the thoughts rampaging through your mind. You look over at Lafs razor, he had one of those old fashioned, single bladed ones. You get up going over and looking to see if he had any replacement razors. You find one. You stare it in your hand. You’re not sure how long you stand there and just stare, contemplate. The razor is just above your skin, all you have to do is press down with a little pressure.

As your thinking about just pressing down, the boys return home. They walk in, knowing you should be home already. Alex walks down the hall and sees the bathroom door is open with the light on. He smiles knowing you were probably home and wanted to surprise you. He walks quietly before reaching the doorway.

“Fancy meeting you here, gorge"-

He stops as he sees what you’re about to do. Your eyes widen, the razor still clutched between your fingers, hovering over your skin.

“(Y/N) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” He yells.

You startle looking up at him. The boys rush down the hall, hearing Alex’s outburst.

“What is it?”

“Whats going on?”

“Qu'est-il arrivé?”

They all ask at once, before turning to see you frozen in place, in the position

“(Y/N), baby, what are you doing?” Johns voice is quiet but panicked.

“Cupcake, put that down, right now.”

Tears start rolling down your cheeks, shaking your head. Laf is the one who goes to you.

“Mon ange, you cant do this,” he says grabbing your hand holding the razor. “Let go,” he says when your grip doesn’t loosen. “Now, mon ange.”

You finally remove your hold on the razor and he takes it from you. He takes your hand, looking at each of your lovers silently telling them to follow as he leads from the bathroom into the living room. Once you’re settled Alex begins, not able to contain himself.

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Why? Baby, why would you do this?!”

“Cupcake, what in the world would make you want to do this? To even consider it?”

They all look at you expectantly, waiting for your answer.

“I"- you start and stop. “I don’t know okay?!” You start to sob. “Everything has been so stressful and chaotic, and I just felt- felt useless and lost and I just wanted to some relief, to feel something else!”

“That’s not how you deal with stress or sadness, love,” Alex says, softer now, less angry more concerned.

“And you are far from useless, mon ange,” Lafs hand cups your face gently. “We need you very much.”

“We love you so much, cupcake,” Herc is next to hold you, taking your hand and kissing your palm. Laying your hand over his heart.

“You don’ t know how heartbroken we would be if we ever lost you, baby girl,” John says taking you in his arms and holding you close.

The boys join and you’re surrounded by all the love they have for you.

“I’m sorry,” you sob out, your face buried in Johns chest.

They pull away, John wiping away your tears and Alex rubbing soothing circles into your back, before turning you to face him.

“My love, please don’t cry,” he says, trying to wipe your streaming tears away. “Please just tell us what you need next time. Don’t try to hurt yourself , let us be here for you, let us love you.” He brushes hair out your face. “Let us help you, whenever you need it.”

“Please, mon ange.”

“We can’t lose you.”

“It would break us, baby girl.”

You look at each of your loves feeling guilty, but also never feeling more loved in your entire life. It was undeniable, shining in their eyes as they looked at you, concerned and longing.

“I promise, next time I’ll come to you,” you look at each them, hoping they could see all the love you had for them. “You won’t lose me.”

They pull you into an embrace and you’re once again surrounded by their love and you revel in it.

*********

You keep your promise and a few months later when those feelings start creeping up on you, you go to them. You tell them how you’re feeling and they’re quick to console and reassure you, letting you know how loved and cherished and important you are.

The more you learn to lean on them and believe their words and actions of love. The less those thoughts creep into your mind. You’re happier and brighter than ever, knowing no matter what you had people who loved and cared for you more than anything and you were worth so much more than you realized. Carrying that with you, along with the love you had for your boys, you knew you could get through anything with them by your side. Their unwavering love never let you down.

[claudemblems]

Hi! I am new and i really wish that you can write something for me please? Well i wanna a scenario where Linhardt (linny boi fan girl here) is too occuped to be with reader and Dimitri who is in love with her comfort her (like hug and some other things....) but she cant do because she is with Linny and it break Dima heart. A loooot of angst please!! Also idk the end so do what you wish to do at the end!! I am sorry if that doesnt make sense!!^^' luv u

Hey! I hope this came out all right. It didn’t end up as angsty as I thought it would, so if you’d like me to redo this or fix some things, I can try. :) I’m also trying not to make my writing too long either, because I have a problem of doing that 😂 Still hope you enjoy! I’ve realized how much I love writing for Dimitri...I need to write for him...

---

You knew Linhardt lived and breathed anything related to crests and furthering his research. That was part of his charm, having that one thing that he devoted his full attention and time to. However, that full attention to crest research had its downsides— at least for you— because it meant that you’d seen less and less of him even though the two of you had recently gotten together. 

You wanted to support Linhardt with your whole heart for what he so tirelessly worked towards, seeing that he had something he actually put effort in, but you began to feel more and more lonely as the days passed by. Linhardt was someone so precious and perfect to you, but you began to wonder if you meant the same to him, or if perhaps he’d rather live his life fully devoted to his research pursuits.

“Are you all right?”

You turned your head to Prince Dimitri who approached you in the dining hall. 

“May I sit beside you?” he asked, and you nodded.

“You haven’t seemed like yourself lately,” Dimitri remarked as he settled into the seat, and you couldn’t hold back a pitiful laugh.

“You could say that.”

He looked upon you, his eyes clearly showing his concern. “I know this is none of my business, but if you need to get things off your chest, you have my full attention. And I promise you that your secrets will stay safe with me.”

You considered Dimitri’s offer for a moment. The Prince was well-known for his kindness to all in Garreg Mach, always offering a hand to those who needed it. But the last thing you’d want to do is burden your precious friend. 

But these feelings couldn’t stay pent up forever, and you needed advice.

“I’ve been having some issues in my relationship with Linhardt.”

Dimitri’s eyebrows raised. “Issues with Linhardt? Are the two of you fighting?”

“No, we’re not fighting. In fact, we’re barely communicating.”

Dimitri kept quiet, his eyes focused on you as he listened intently.

“Lately he’s been so invested in his research, and I don’t mind that he has something that he’s so passionate about, but...it’s like I’ve faded into the background and he no longer sees me…” Your voice began to break as you brushed away tears lining your eyes. You took in a shaky breath. “I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I can walk up to him and tell him to pay attention to me. That’s just selfish. But is it so selfish of me to want to be sure that he actually wants to be with me...that he loves me?”

Dimitri sighed and reached for your hand. “I may not be Linhardt,” he began, “But I know that he only decides to get involved with things or people if he feels they’re worth his time. And you clearly are, seeing as he was so delighted to be your partner.” You gave Dimitri a small smile. “Linhardt sometimes gets too invested in what he’s doing, and he needs someone to bring him back to reality for a while. I don’t think he’s purposely intending to neglect your relationship, but perhaps you speaking honestly to him will make him consider that he needs to revisit his priorities.”

You were silent for a few moments before you gently squeezed Dimitri’s hand. “Thank you, Dimitri,” you said. “Somehow, you always know the right words to say. I should talk with Linhardt.”

“Of course.”

You stood to your feet and nodded your head in thanks before going to search for Linhardt to try to set things right.

Dimitri sat silently at the table in the dining hall, lost in thought.

-

“Hey, Dimitri,” Sylvain greeted as he ran into the prince by the Officer’s Academy. “Haven’t seen you much today.”

“Oh, I was just giving some advice to someone, is all.”

“Advice? Don’t tell me, you were totally giving love advice!”

The two burst into laughter as Sylvain clapped a hand on Dimitri’s shoulder. “Ingrid and I are going into town later. Wanna come?”

“...I’ll think about it,” Dimitri answered.

“Well, just let us know,” Sylvain said before walking off, probably to find a cute girl to flirt with. Dimitri couldn’t imagine otherwise. 

The prince took his time walking to his room, the crowds of students getting thinner and thinner until he was wandering into his room alone. Shutting the door behind him, Dimitri fell back onto his bed and let out a long sigh.

He lifted his hand to the ceiling, staring at the place your hand had held his. It was ridiculous of him to think of such things, to recall what it felt like when your fingers graced his skin, to remember the rapid beating of his heart anytime he saw you smile. Everything about you filled him with longing and adoration. How much he wished that he’d confessed to you first. Maybe, just maybe, you would have chosen him…

But the only thing he wished for was your happiness. Even if he lived his life in grief at the sight of you in love with another, he would push himself aside again and again, just to see you living in peace and joy.

He would do it again and again. Even if you haunted him. He would put your happiness, your laughter, your smile first, again and again until he could truly rest in peace.

[ruiyuki-archives]

Star Tear AU - Momo ver.

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2020

Momo ver. Alternate timeline: Todo ver. Part 1 || Todo ver. Part 2 || Todo ver. Part 3

ALRIGHT YALL NEW TROPE ALERT ➡ STAR TEAR DISEASE

Basically the cousin of Hanahaki Disease. Unrequited love causes a person to cry star tears accompanied by the sound of twinkling and if the feelings are not returned said person goes colour blind

And I just !!!!

tdmm AU where Momo gets star tear disease and the first time she cries in front of Todo after the exam with Aizawa she cries star tears???

And she doesn’t know what it means and neither does Todo but maybe Aizawa does and recognizes what it means but idk

So Momo goes on this whole literary quest to research what it means. And Todo volunteers to help bc umm?? Even the pressure point in her foot doesnt stop this phenomenon so he wants to figure it out too

And along the way they dig through the UA library on study dates and dig through the bookstores and dig through the interwebs together

Spending more and more time together, Momo starts to realize she’s feeling something. that is until one night she finds it on the web what star tears mean

Its her unrequited love for Todoroki

And her realizing this just makes it w or s e

Bc the consequence of not having her feelings returned means she goes colour blind

Or you know what, im just gonna alter it and make it more angst. She goes fully blind, ya lets do that.

SO MOMO

Poor bby is grappling with this realization and coming to terms with it all on her own; recognizing that if she doesnt let Todo know after all this time spent together she’s come to love him....... she'll go blind

But ofc its Momo... poor bby selfless Momo....

Her feelings and her own and not a responsibility of Todo to like her back and cure her of this disease so there is NO WAY she’s gonna burden him with that

Plus they’re both too busy tryna be heroes and shouldn’t have this as a distraction

So ofc Momo's not gonna tell Todo

And she cries and cries even more star tears that twinkle in fill her room in the dark like galaxies in the sky.

Its really beautiful.

She'll accept that she'll go blind never to see the face of her loved ones again. Her parents. Her friends....... Todoroki.

And that potentially she might have to give up her dream of being a hero if the blindness compromises it.

But she'll accept that.

The next day she wakes up and cant see a colour

And slowly it begins.......

She loses green first. Its hard to distinguish green from yellow

Then yellow goes

Then orange

Then one by one colour fades over weeks and weeks

Ofc shes not telling anyone.

She fakes it in class, during hero training, during her internship

That when Ochako and Hagakure asks "isnt the colour dress cute?" holding up a lovely chartreus and gold dress, she lies and says yes even though she sees gray

Which breaks her even more

And so she cries alone at night some more star tears

And it keeps going

All the while Todo noticing from beside his desk......

something is off...

But he doesnt ask her. Not yet.

Because after weeks of spending time with her researching, he believes they’re close enough that she'll share with him what’s going on

He didnt question it when she told him "its ok Todoroki san, we can stop researching"

"Did you figure it out?"

"Yes. Its nothing to be concerned about anymore"

He doesnt question it when he notices her in the morning at breakfast,,, the little speckles of star dust glimmering at the corner of her eyes

And he doesnt question himself either when he starts to think the twinkling tears she cries when she thinks she is alone,, makes her look really beautiful

Its those some odd moments when he passes the classrooms on the way back to the dorms at sunset that he sees her alone by the window,, looking out,, as the sun paints the sky reds pinks yellows and oranges,,, that she stares out and star tears fall from her eyes, twinkling in the setting light

And he thinks to himself that she is really beautiful,, a shadow against the setting sun

So he watches and thinks some more

That shes beautiful even without the sunset. Beautiful in class answering the hardest question. Beautiful in battle when her tactics win over her opponent. Beautiful studying when he notices her little motions when shes concentrating.

But while Todo thinks that to himself, Momo cries. Little star tears in her eyes.

She cant see the sunset anymore.

.

.

.

He doesnt think its serious when she tells him to disregard the matter

But when he happens to run into her when visiting his mom at the hospital, and she’s on her way out from the optometry & ophthamology department to get this whole eye thing checked out, thats when he realizes

Oh. This is serious.

And he starts trying to get her to talk but she’s being all avoidy and tight lipped

Cuz from Momo’s doctors’ appointment, the doc told her there’s no cure unless she gets over the feelings herself or her feelings are returned

And really now, she still thinks its her burden to bare not his

So logically the only thing she thinks she can do to slow down the blindness from the tears is to shut down her feelings for him. Put them in a box. And become cold.

Todoroki hates that.

That she’s being avoidant and cold when he knows something is wrong and wants to help her but she is being so not Momo anymore

He wants the kind, loving, selfless, pure hearted, strong Momo he's grown to learn and respect and know back

And that’s when he realizes he really cares for her

Not just admiring her beauty. Or respecting her battle instincts and leadership

That he realizes he really likes her

Perhaps even loves her.

So thats that.

Until its mission time.

Cuz its not angst until someone gets hurt and the other realizes they’ve been keeping a secret all this time sooooooooo

Smth smth UA kids vs a new baddie or minor villian or idk it could be dabi for all i want bc i put dabi in everything lmaooo

But who they’re fighting is not important

The important part is tdmm are on the same team

Maybe deployed as partners even

And theyre fighting back to back against some grunts

And at this point Todo is frustrated he’s not getting through to Momo just after he shook his own world realizing he likes her

And Momo's being all cold but civil and she is completely colour blind.

Theres no undoing the damage in her eyes. She can see in muted muddy tones and grayscale.

So for plot convenience lets say the villain has some kinda colour distortion quirk that mixes up the perception of colour from the true colour in a form of illusion or smth idk

So when the grunts in all black uniform end up attacking them, to Todo and Momo, one looks dressed in red, another in green, others in blues yellows purples

tdmm do pretty well fending them off until Todo notices 3 of them in blue green and purple about to attack Momo at once

And she’s ready to fend them off but doesnt notice a 4th one in red coming in for a swift sneak atttack right behind the green one

But Todo does notice

And he shouts

"YAOYOROZU THE RED ONE"

But she cant tell

And the knife lands deep in her shoulder

And Todo burns the rest to a crisp

You can imagine what the conversation is in the aftermath, when Momo has her shoulder bandaged up and Todo tending his own wounds

"Yaoyorozu.. please be honest with me. Why didnt you avoid the red one when I shouted?"

Because, he knows, that the heroine Creati he's trained along side with for so long would have been able to anticipate the grunts assault

That she would have expected a sneak attack amidst a simultaneous attack

But the fact that she didnt. Couldnt. Avoid it definitely means shes been handicapped

And Momo, upon being asked, hurt and tired from their battle finally relents

She cant lie to him any longer.

"It was because... i couldnt tell. I couldnt distinguish their colours. I havent been able to for a few weeks now.... I've..."

A star tear falls from her eyes.

"I've lost my colour vision Todoroki-san"

Tiny galaxies fall from her eyes as she finally explains to him what these tears are

And Todo is speechless as she talks, only able to hear the twinkles against her words broken against sniffles and hiccups

And when sh’es said all she knows - that this is a disease that will turn her blind, that there is no cure and it comes as a consequence of loving someone who doesnt love you back, that she doesnt want to burden the person she loves with her responsibility, that she has been trying bury her feelings to save herself ...

He finally asks: "Who is it.  Tell me who it is that you love Yaoyorozu"

.

.

.

.

"You. Its you Todoroki-san"

And his heart broke.

He pulls her into a hug,, so tight she thinks she might be crushed

And its his turn to cry against her

Because all this time she was doing this for him

"Im sorry Momo. Im so sorry. You dont have to suffer alone anymore. Because we're partners, long before I even realized it"

"Eh?"

He looks into her eyes, unwavering

"Im in love you too."

The tears that fall from her next are no long starlight.

Epilogue/trivia:

Momo loses her colour vision following the colour wheel starting with green ➡ yellow, orange, red, etc until blue is last to go

Shes most heartbroken about losing red and blue cuz those are the colours she associates with Todo (when she cant see the sunset anymore its when she realizes she lost red and that’s why she’s crying)

Since the damage of the disease cant be restored, she has to deal with greyscale vision for some years

Eventually Eri rewinds it for her once Eri can control her power

but for those some years Momo is so busy!! cuz she goes into genius mode and starts creating (and probably working with Hatsume) vision impairment accessibility tools? Yes

and bc I have an unhealthy obsession with the todofam, Natsuo probably ends up getting a case of the disease for some odd reason if he ever broke up with his gf and Todo upon hearing it is like NO GO TELL HER PLS

He’s not gonna let anyone else on the other end feel the guilt that he did for Momo

> archives masterpost

[pendragyn]

Setting Things To Rights

(inspired by @flashfictionfridayofficial​ ‘s #53 prompt “Come Back”. Went well over the limit lol but thank you for the inspiration after a very long dry spell.)

“Setting Things To Rights” by Pendragyn

2666 words,  posted June 22, 2020 on AO3

Good Omens (TV & Book); Adam Young, Deirdre Young, Agnes Nutter, Dog;

The night after the almost apocalypse, Adam Young gets a visit from the ghost of Agnes Nutter, and she helps him sort out a few worrisome loose ends left over from the world not ending.

“Come back. Please.”

Adam stared down at his best friends in the whole universe, sure his heart was breaking as they turned and ran away. He knew then he’d messed up bad, maybe beyond fixing. He tried to call them back, to beg even, but no sound would come and he closed his eyes against the sting of tears. Come back! Please! he wanted to say, pressing his hands to his tear-dampened face. I’m sorry!

You don’t need them. You can have new friends. Better friends. All you have to do is show us the way.

A low growl and a familiar waft of doggy breath as a wet tongue lapped at his cheek had Adam opening his eyes, and he hugged Dog tightly in relief. “Oh Dog! I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispered hoarsely, smiling when Dog licked him again. “I am sorry, you know that, don’t you?”

Dog whined and licked him again in answer.

“Thanks boy.” Adam let out a much heavier sigh and rubbed at his eyes when tears threatened again. The dream had been so real, too real, more memory than dream, and frightening in ways he didn’t want to think about. It hurt, knowing he’d hurt his friends so bad they’d stopped being his friends. And even though they’d forgiven him in the end, would they ever really trust him again? Especially when he could still do what he’d done? Would he trust someone who had done that to him?

In the silence there were two faint but distinct knocks that Adam heard clear as a bell. Dog’s ears perked up and Adam blinked and they both looked around the room for a source of the noise. There wasn’t much light but it was more than enough to show that nothing was out of place.

Still, Adam found himself saying, “Who’s there?”

A faint glimmering form stepped through the door. It was an old woman, dressed in really old clothes. “I’ve awaited a long while for this meeting, Adam Young.” She bowed at him a faint smile on her lips. “I be Agnes Nutter, witch. And ghost.”

Adam stared at her with wide eyes. Dog was staring just as intently but seemed disinclined to bark or growl, which put Adam at ease. “You’re a ghost witch? A real one? Not… not something I made up?”

“Real as rain. Anathema be my many times over great granddaughter. I wrote the book she told ye about.”

They watched one another for a moment before Adam asked, “Why are you here?”

“Same reason I’ve done most things in me life and afterlife; to ensure the world isn’t destroyed by the whims of beings who care naught for it.” Agnes glided to the bed and sat. “That’s why I’ve come to ye, young Adam. The story be not ended yet, and ye still have time to set things to rights.” She folded her hands in her lap and said bluntly, “I wrote that book to ensure all would be where they needed to be, to stop the world ending, young Adam, because I saw what would become of ye and the world otherwise.”

Adam shivered and Dog whined, pressing close to offer him comfort. “There were… whispers,” he admitted, his arm curled around Dog to give himself comfort. “Telling me to do things, bad things.” He thought of the nightmare that had just awoken him. “I think they’re still here.”

“Aye. They will never leave ye be, not as long as ye remain a vessel for the devil’s power.”

Adam rubbed at his damp face with a corner of his blanket and frowned at her. “What do you mean? I did like the angels said and it worked. It changed things, didn’t it?”

“Aye, true enough, ye are no longer bound to the one who bid himself thy ‘father’. But ye still have the power given to ye, to change the whole world. It rests in ye, waiting to be called on, wanting to be called on, and as long as it be there, ye are naught but a plump juicy apple, ripe for the picking. Ye must use the power afore our foes regroup enough to try to bend ye to their will.” She waited a beat while he just gaped at her and asked, “What wish thee, young Adam?”

“I… I don’t know. I’m just a kid! I don’t want to be picked on, and I don’t want to be in charge of changing the world!”

“Aye, ‘tis most unfair to put the weight of the world upon the shoulders of just one person,” said Agnes, looking down sadly at her partially transparent hands. “I often wished that there had been another way, but try as I might I could find no way to spare Anathema. I can do naught now but do my best to make it up to her.” She sighed and looked back up at him. “But ye, young Adam, ye don’t have to bear this burden alone. Ye can ask for help.”

“I can?” he said, thinking of Anathema and all the things she wanted to make better, but some inner voice pulled him up short before he could do something rash, for probably the first time in his life. “But how will I know if they’re telling me the right things? That they’re telling me the truth?”

“‘Tis a hard question to answer. There be many who would use such power for greedy or hateful reasons, those be easy to weed out. But the ones who mean well, but be wrongheaded, well… Anathema believes much of what she told ye, so to her, it was the truth.”

“Oh.” He rubbed at his head, his mind feeling a little too full with all the things he was having to think about, though it wasn’t nearly as bad as how it had felt at the airbase. He never again wanted to feel that… awake was the only word he could think of to describe the feeling. He’d be able to see and feel and sense so much and he shuddered and put the memory out of his thoughts. “So how will I know who to trust?”

“That answer will have to come from within ye. Who do ye trust now? Some people unthinkingly break trust all the time, do they not? Do wrong though they know it be wrong. Leave messes for others to make right. Ye know that well enough, Adam Young,” Agnes said pointedly.

Adam sank lower and lower as she spoke. “But nobody gets hurt… usually.” She just gave a disbelieving hum. He couldn’t help but think of how he’d treated Pepper and Brian and Wensley and Dog. How willing he’d been to leave his friends and family behind while under the influence of the voices.

But his friends had done the right things even when he hadn’t. He knew without a shadow of a doubt he could trust them no matter what. “Does… does it need to be just one person?” he asked.

“It can be as many or as few as ye wish,” Agnes answered. “So long as they be willing, of course. Ye must ask, not demand.”

He considered her words, and who else he trusted to do the right thing, petting Dog as he did so. A thought struck him and he asked, “Can I give the power to someone else? Will the voices start bothering them? Will it make them into a target?”

“If ye give them enough to be seen as a threat or a prize, yes,” she warned. “Especially if they can not fend for themselves against those who would seek to do them harm.”

Adam flopped back onto his pillow with a grunt. “Ugh! Why’s it got to be so complicated? Why can’t I just keep the magic and have fun and stuff?”

“Fun?” she echoed in an eldritch sepulchral tone that seemed to come from the bottom of a well. “Fun, was it, knowing all the people in your town and the world would soon be dead? And making slaves of your friends, fun was that?” Adam shot up, a denial on his lips, but the knowing look in her glowing eyes had him flinching away. “This power was bestowed upon ye to rend the world in twain, to bring it asunder, to destroy all hope and joy. Is that, as ye call it, ‘fun’?”

“No! I don’t want that!”

“No?” The eldritch glow and tone vanished. “Pleased be to hear it. But sorry does naught for that which was broken beyond repair nor does it console the families of those missing and dead.”

“Dead?!” Adam’s stomach clenched at the word. “But—” I didn’t mean to, seemed beyond inadequate. And it was a lie, because he had meant to at the time, under the influence of the voices.

“Aye, as dead as I be. Did ye think those eaten by the kraken were not real people? With lives and hopes and families to feed? And those pulled into your fantasies of Atlantis, and aliens, and listeners in tunnels? How art they to return home, if they even can?”

“B-but Anathema was the one who gave me those magazines—” He knew it was the wrong thing to say even as he said it and Agnes just canted her head and stared at him, a little bit of the eldritch glow returning to her eyes. “I-I knew some of them probably weren’t really real. Pepper an’ Wensley an’ Brian said as much but… I wanted them to be.”

“So ye wished them into being.” He nodded. “There were worse things ye could have wished for. That they wanted ye to wish for.”

He shuddered and nodded again, thinking of the visions he’d had when it was at its worst. “Yeah. Oh, is that, that’s why— you wanted to give me other things to wish for. Better things.”

She gave him a proud smile. “Clever boy. Aye. If ye had truly gone down that path, ye would have used up all the power in the wishing. Instead ye have a chance to put things right.” She held open her hand when Dog crept close enough to sniff at her and scritched behind his ear when he crept a little closer yet. “Ye spoke of angels, telling ye what to do. What did they say?”

The memories of what had happened in that odd bit of time where still vividly sharp in Adam’s mind. He could almost smell the thunderstorm and bonfire scent of the sand again, and hear the susurrous of their feathers as they’d flexed their wings. “They said it was good I was human, and a kid. And that reality would do what I wanted it to. And that they’d help me, no matter what.”

“They wanted to kill ye,” she said matter-of-factly and Adam gave her a sharp look which she answered with another small smile. “But ye trusted them anyway. Why?”

Unlike the odd time in the desert, all the things leading up to that and after were already becoming a little hazy and dreamlike. Somehow he’d been able to see the two people inside the one body, and had certainly heard them yelling about killing him. But had also seen the fear and grief beneath the surface, and far more than they’d probably wanted anyone to see. “They… they were just trying to save the world. From me and everything else. Even though they knew it would probably… get them in a lot of trouble.” He didn’t want to say what he really meant; that it would get them killed.

“It has,” she murmured. “They shall be tried and executed in the morning.”

“What? No!” Adam protested. “That’s not fair! They were trying to save the world! They were doing the right thing and they shouldn’t die because of it!”

“They disobeyed, broke the oaths they made to Heaven and Hell—”

“No!” Adam wiped furiously at the tears running down his face. “No, I don’t care, they’re angels, and angels can’t die. It’s Heaven and Hell who should be in trouble, not them!” He sniffled hard as a glimmer of an idea formed in his mind. He stared hard at Agnes. “They said reality would do what I wanted, and it did. You said I have a chance to fix things.”

She nodded solemnly. “Aye, I did.”

“So do I how fix it? How do I fix everything that got messed up because of me?” He put his arm around Dog when he whimpered anxiously. “Help me, please?”

Agnes gave him a broad beaming smile. “I thought ye’d never ask.”

∞

“Wait! Don’t go!”

Warm soft arms and the comforting scent of his mother curled around Adam and he felt her brush the hair from his face and press a kiss to his forehead. “Shh, Adam, shh, I haven’t gone anywhere. It was just a bad dream.”

“Mum?” Adam mumbled, opening his eyes. It was a surprise to see his room bathed in sunlight and his mum smiling down on him. Last he remembered was Agnes saying she had to go and that she was proud of him. Was it just a dream? Had it all been a dream? he wondered, relieved to think he hadn’t hurt his friends but disappointed that magic wasn’t real.

“Morning, sleepy head,” she smiled.

He smiled back and shifted, happy to feel Dog curled up beside him, but the happiness vanished when he remembered that Dog wasn’t supposed to be inside. “Uh… naughty Dog, how’d you get in—“

“That will be enough of that, mister,” Deirdre said, running her hand over Adam’s hair again, trying to not let out the smile his antics almost always inspired. “I know full well you’ve been sneaking him in here since that first night. His hair was all over everything and I could see his tail wagging from under the bed, but I didn’t want to spoil your fun.”

The little thrill he’d been nurturing, at getting away with something illicit, fizzled with the realization that he hadn’t actually gotten away with anything. “Oh.”

She frowned and shook her head. “Your father and I considered taking Dog away after the worry you caused us yesterday. What in the world made you go to the airbase?”

Not a dream, he realized, the disappointed relief morphing into a tumble of confused emotions he couldn’t sort out. “I dunno.”

She let out a sigh, as though she’d expected that answer. “Alright. Well, it’s time for you to get up. You’ve got a long day of tidying ahead of you.” She chuckled and leaned over to gave him a hug when he sighed. “Terrible I know, but you need to think about the consequences of your actions Adam. You could’ve been hurt, or gotten Wensley or the others hurt.”

“Sorry.” He’d sighed out of habit at the reminder of his punishment but snaked his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. “I love you.”

Deirdre smiled. “I love you too, but that won’t get you out of being grounded, mister. Now up you get, breakfast’s almost ready.” She playfully tweaked his nose and scritched Dog behind his ear just where he liked it before leaving him to get dressed.

Adam flopped back onto his pillow and started petting Dog as he stared up at the ceiling, his thoughts whirling around. Magic’s really real! And so are witches and wizards and ghosts and, and maybe aliens? Agnes didn’t actually say. And demons and angels… He rolled over and looked out at the garden. I hope what I did was enough to fix things. I feel different anyway.

He was going to get to be just a kid, at least for a little while according to Agnes. Then he and Pepper and Brian and Wensley were going to get to learn magic with their new friends! And he was perfectly happy with that.

[allisonbaelfire]

Until My Last Breath

Pairings: Steve x Reader, Tony Stark!father x Reader

Summary: After Infinity War, you and the rest of the Team tried to find a solution, how to get half of the humanity back. Besides the guilt everyone felt, it was hard for you not knowing if your dad was still alive or not. It happens that the satellites get a signal from a spaceship, that is about to land on earth. It could be your father, who you happend seen since the registration act, where you took Steve’s side - or Thanos helpers could be back after they heard about your plan.

Word Count: 2,008

Authors Note: I think, this is by far my best Story yet.

____________________________

It was the middle of the night when you woke up slowly. You were starting to get cold, and when you noticed that Steve was no longer lying next to you, an inner unease spread in you.

Before the "snap", you never had a problem with sleeping alone and didn’t worry so fast. But now, every day, you were afraid that Thanos would change his mind, that he’d come back and take Steve like he took your father.

You got up to look for him. You perceived light in Bathroom, through the crack in the door. You opened the door slowly and saw Steve. 

He didn’t notice you. You saw that he was shaving off his beard. You liked his beard, nevertheless it was a symbol of the past years. The years in which you were considered "enemies of the state", when you lost against Thanos and half of the humanity vanished into dust. 

You opened the door a bit more and leaned against the door frame, “Hey Captain.” you smiled soft.

He looked at you through the reflection of the mirror. You could see that he was trying to carry the burden alone, as he looked into your eyes. 

You walked slowly behind him. “You look handsome.” You kissed his back and touched gently his arms. 

Steve didn’t say anything. A thank you was hard right now, but you knew it had nothing to do with you.He probably had another nightmare again. After five years, you had the first hope to bring Thanos to the track, Steve was worried that something could go wrong and he could lose even more people.

“It’ll work. We’ll get them back.” You said so softly, as if you were whispering. Not only did you try to convince Steve that your plan would work, you had to keep telling yourself that too.

Steve turned to you. He was looking into your eyes and touched gently your cheek. You leaned in his touch and closed your eyes for a split second.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do if it doesn’t.” He replied. You looked at him. “I promised Tony to keep you safe -”

He paused but you knew what he wanted to say. He would like to keep you out of the whole fight, but the team needed your strength, also Steve needed you during the upcoming fight at his side, if wouldn’t be there he would just worry.

Steve took a deep breath. “Do you regret joining me then? When Tony agreed to the registration act?”

You already wondered when he would ask you that question. He worried that you had only joined him because you fell in love with him, also he felt guilty that you couldn’t see your father for over five years and you might never see him again.

Normally, such a question would annoy you. Steve just put more guilt on his shoulders to take it away from others. You hated it when he did that. But now was not the time to be angry with him.

“I would make the same decision over and over again. And Steve, I didn’t join you then, because I was in love with you. I was against the registration act because I want to protect the world but at the same time myself and my family, my future children too.”

Steve looked relieved when he heard your answer, but still he remembered the promise he made to Tony when you had to leave the country with him.

He took your hand and placed a kiss on the top of it. You gently caressed his head. 

“Let’s go back to bed, shall we?” You asked and he nodded.

                              ~*~

“What do you need to make them work?” You asked Bruce as he explained his plan again.

“We use the information we’ve of Vision’s Stone, Wanda’s Powers and what Shuri found out.” Bruce replied.

Bruce tried to make his plan as simple as possible to give everyone new hope. The plan was to try to create Infinity Stones and use them to restore half of humanity. 

Scott was helping him with the research results from Dr. Pym. Thor gave him all the information he had about the stones and you others tried to get all the materials he needed to create the new stones.

                            ~*~  

You went into your fathers old lab at the beach. The house still belonged to your family, yet it still had to be rebuild again but you liked it here anyways. It was the house were you grew up in.

You told the others you were searching for some information that could help, which was somehow true, but the real reason why you were here was because you missed him.

You always felt closest to him when you were here. You've always worked on your school research projects together, until you grew up and worked together on his iron man suits.

“Hey Dum-e.” You greeted your fathers robot. “Look what I brought you. (X)” You smiled and put the picture of them on your fathers desk. You loved this Robot and you knew your father did too, even after all his threats to disassemble him.

                           ~*~

You were so deep in your thoughts as you worked on your Iron Suit that you didn’t notice your mother.

“Hey Sweetie,” She smiled. You shrug and let your spanner fall. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t.” You tried to lie but your mom just chuckled.

“You really are like your father.” She admitted.

“Is this a good or a bad thing?”

“Depends.” She replied and you laughed together. 

“I’ll bring him back to you, I promise.” You assured her. 

She came to you and pulled you in a hug. “I don’t care how old you’re, you’ll always be my little girl.” She spoke and you tried to hold back your tears. “I miss him but I won’t survive losing you too, I know I cant stop you from trying to safe the world - like I said, you’re your fathers daughter, but please Y/N be careful.”

>>knock, knock<<

“I’m sorry to interrupt.” Steve apologized.

He looked intimidated whenever Pepper was present. After all, you were on the run with Steve for a long time and if you had been here when Thanos attacked, Tony might not have disappeared.

“You don’t.” She answered friendly.

You let go of your mom. “What’s going on?” 

Usually Steve wouldn’t come here, he knew this was the only spot where you could somehow breath and take a break from everything that was happening.

“You should both come with me.” He suggested.

You knew he was trying to sound friendly, but if something was so important he came to the lab, something must have happened.

                         ~*~

You followed Steve until you saw everyone surrounding Bruce. You rushed into the lab and all eyes where on you and your mother.

“What is going on here?” Pepper asked.

No one seemed to speak, not even Natasha who always had something to say.

You got worried. “Didn’t you hear what she asked?! What the hell is going on?”

Clint pushed Steve forward to you, he was the one who should tell you, “We received a warning from our Satellites that a spaceship is on the way to Earth, with 2 people and something else on board. We assume Tony might be on the ship. But we do not know if anyone lives.”

“How much time until its down here?” You asked without any emotion.

Bruce looked at you, “10 Minutes.”

That was all you needed. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., initiate the fight and defense suit 02 ultra.” You ordered. 

“Ma’am, I suggest you take one of your old suits. They’re safer.” Friday replied.

“Do as I say.” You answered and made your way outside of the Avengers Facility.

Steve followed you, “Y/N, we don’t kn ow if its him or if he still is the man we know?”

You clenched your teeth, “And now Rogers? Do you want to do nothing and let them just crash? You know because of Shuri’s Tech, no one can land on earth without dying.”

“She did that to protect us from any Alien or better Thanos if he tries to come back again.” Bruce interrupted as he followed.

“And thats why-” You paused as your suit finally made his way from your dad lab to your location. “-I’m going to safe it. Either you help me,” You put on the suit. “or get out of my way.” You closed your face mask.

Steve looked at Pepper for a little help as she and the rest followed you outside. 

She just smiled. “Y/N’s just like him.”

“Not helping.” Natasha replied. 

Steve took a deep breath. He couldn’t stop you, because he would do exactly the same.

“Okay, you heard the Lady. Thor, Rhodey you’ll support her in the air. When the ship breaks through the earth's atmosphere, you have to slow it down.” Steve ordered and both nodded. “Natasha, Clint - you two get in the jet. If we're getting attacked, you fire back.” 

While Steve told the others what they had to do, you were already in the air and stole Bruce's coordinates, from his computer, on where the ship would land.

“The 02 Ultra is ready, Mrs. Stark.” Friday informed you.

“Then lets get this party started.” You said serious.

The Ultra 02 was a suit you built, it should be a defense unit. Veronica, the protective equipment against the Hulk was the core idea. Only Ultra 02 was significantly larger and more powerful than Veronica, because it was build to protect the earth against Thanos.

                        ~*~

You could finally see the spaceship. It was indeed really fast and probably to much to handle on your own but Thor and Rhodey were by your side.

“Ready?” Rhodey asked. 

“I’m always ready.” Thor smiled. “Lady S?” 

“You know me.” You smirked under your suit. “Now!”

You three are headed straight for the ship. It was really fast. Thor grabbed the bridge while Rhodey and you grabbed the ship below. You three tried to slow it down with all you might.

“Friday, we need a little help here!!” You screamed. 

“On my way!” 

She send Ultra 02 for support and the ship slowed down a bit but it’d still going to be a rough landing. Rhodey and you use all your thrusters while Thor tried to reach something with his lightnings.

“Still 2,000 feet.” You heard Bruce over your radio signal. 

“You’ve to try harder or they’ll die and maybe you’ll join them.” Clint added.

“What do you think are we doing, Barton?”

“Damn it!” Bruce was angry. “Hulk, now is the god damn time to come out or they’ll all die!” He yelled.

“Y/N, break up the mission!” Steve said. “That’s an order!”

The hulk did not come out in years, and the ship was still to fast for you all to survive the landing. It seemed hopeless. 

“Its Tony!” Thor yelled as he finally saw who was in the ship.

You knew, now there was no way back. You wouldn’t let your dad die after he finally made it home. You had to ignore Steve's instruction.

“I love you, Steve. I always will.” You said and everyone heard it. You You control all your power on the arc reactor to trigger a thrust that might save the ship.

Bruce realized what you were about to do, it took him a second. A second that was too important to waste - but finally, Hulk appeared and jumped as high as he could. He caught the ship with all of you.

It was still a pretty hard landing, for all of you. The ship was totally broken but everyone survived.

                      ~*~

You landed hard on the ground. Your suit, and probably Rhodey’s too, were destroyed but you all lived. Steve ran to you and helped you to get out of the suit. He pulled you in a hug and tears were rolling down his face.

“I could’ve lost you!” He was mad and relieved at the same time. “You can never do something like this again.”

You nodded as you cried into his chest. You were afraid up there or better terrified. You didn’t thought you’d survive this.

“Pepper?”

You recognized the voice. You let go of Steve and wiped your tears away. You saw your mother running into the arms of your father. You couldn’t believe your eyes. So many years past since he disappeared and now he was finally back. 

As Tony was hugging Pepper, he saw you next to Steve. He let go of Pepper and you ran into over to him. He wrapped his arms around you and hold you as tight as he could.

“I know you’d be out there.” You sobbed. 

“I know you’d built a better suit than me.” You two chuckled. “I missed you so much Y/N!”

“I missed you too, Dad.”

“Where the hell are we?” A blue female asked.

                     ~*~

Days past and everything went back to normal... or better as normal as it could be. 

Tony explained to you all what happened on Titan and introduced you to Nebula. Rocket told you about her and that his team actually didn’t like her that much but besides that he seemed really relived to see her alive.

You explained what happened on earth when Thanos arrived for the Stones and told him about your plan to get half of the humanity back and maybe how defeat Thanos.

                    ~*~

The first few days were hard for Steve. Despite the fact that Tony was back there was tension between the two.

“Can we talk?” Steve asked Tony while he was working with you on your suit.

Tony looked at you. He didn’t want to miss another moment with you or your mother anymore, but he agreed. Tony knew how important it was to you and even if he wouldn’t admit it, it was important for him to talk to Steve too.

You left the room to give the most important man in your life some time, to talk. At first it was awkward, no one dared to say a word.

“I’m sorry.” Steve let out. “I’m sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have agreed back then, that Y/N can join the Team against the registration act.” He apologized. “I feel like I took her from you.”

Tony nodded. “I thought so too.” he admitted. “But a long time ago. I realized she does what she thinks is right and most of the time she is. It sucks but Y/N is always right.” He chuckled and Steve agreed. “It wouldn’t have changed a thing, Steve. I still would’ve ended up in space. Maybe should’ve followed me but it was better that she was here with you.”

Steve was surprised by Tony’s reaction. “I’m not so sure.”

“I am, she is a great woman. And I know she was safe here with you. You watched out for both of my girls and I’m really thankful for that, my friend.”

Steve smiled as he heard Tony calling him his friend. He missed that. But he had to ask Tony something and wasn’t so sure, how he would react, and if that could destroy the friendship again.

“I don’t know if its the right time or it ever will be but I want to ask you for your permission. I want to ask Y/N to marry me.” Steve confessed. “And I really hope you agree, I know how important your approval would be for her and its definitely important to me too.”

Tony had to take a short breath. He was not back on the ground so long. But he had already expected this question.

“You remember the promise you gave me?” He asked and Steve nodded. “I need you to promise it again. We’ve a war coming, maybe bigger than the one we’ve already faced. We could lose every bit we’ve and I want you to protect her no matter what. Y/N won’t back down but you’ve to protect her. She has to survive the fight, she’ll change the world - she’ll heal it.” Tony said. “She’s the most  important person in my life and I wouldn’t have survived if I didn’t know she’s safe.”

“I do. I promise I’ll protect her until my last breath!” Steve swore.

“I’m counting on it, Buddy.” He smiled and hugged Steve. “I’m glad that you two have each other and we all need something good to hold on to.” He let go. “So why not a wedding?” They both laughed together.

For a long time in awhile Steve didn’t felt so much pressure on his shoulders anymore. The Team seemed to gained their hope back and the chance grew to finally beat Thanos once and for all.

________________________________

Please let me know what you think about the story’s. I’d really love to read how you feel after reading this!!

Thank you for your time <3

[vocallykaix]

stressed Out

Genre: Oneshot, old disgusting writing, fluff i guess

Requested: lmao I wish

Length: 1972 words

Pairing: Seventeen S.Coups X Reader

summary: You knew of your boyfriends bad habits, you knew he was stressed and as always he seeked comfort in you as you did him.

 yes, i know he wouldn’t do what he does in this but it is FICTION, its just a story i made out of a stupid dream i had like two years ago so pls don’t kill me.

It's was Sunday which meant you had a full evening to visit Seungcheol in the dorms, You know with all the promotions they're doing right now the stress levels would be at their highest  so you decided that to treat them. get their minds of it for a while.

You made your way over to the dorms struggling with the weight of the multiple bags so you couldn’t help the grateful sigh that slipped out of your lips when you reached the dorm door. You kicked the door twice so you wouldn’t have to put the bags down. The door opened and you were met with Joshua

" Y/N?" Joshua answered grabbing some of the bags

"Thank you" you smiled trying to catch your breath. You stumbled into the messy dorm and scowled at the sight, you mumble curses as you placed the warm bags down on the coffee table grabbing all of their attention

"Food?" Dino quirks an eyebrow and you nod your head but you couldn’t fight of the smile when his eyes lit up, you wonder if these boys ever eat.

"Where Seungcheol?" You asked unpacking the first bag and handing the packages around the members, nobody answered at first so you looked up but they all avoided your eyes

"He's out on the balcony" 

you knew what they mean meant by this.

He was smoking. He's not addicted to it, in fact it was very rare he'd ever even touch them but when he was stressed he used them as a release. which you didn’t like.

He hates the fact he does it himself, you still remember that one time during the Mansae promotions Jun asked him for one but all he got was a lengthy lecture on how bad it was, even though he did it occasionally he was very against his members picking up his bad habits, he was pretty mad and kicked him back inside and locked the door so nobody could get to him. He didn't speak to Jun for the rest of the night no matter how hard Jun tried to get his attention.

You know yelling at him wouldn't do him any good since the reason he's doing it was because he felt stressed in the first place so fighting would only add fuel to the flame so you just made your way over to him, he noticed you as soon as you opened the door. He took a quick drag before placing it in the ash tray but not putting it out, he made sure he'd blown out the smoke before you'd fully reached him

"Hey" he smiled avoiding your eyes just like his members did a few moments ago, you didn't say anything but placed yourself with your back to the rail next to him and brought one of his hand in both of yours bringing it to your lips, you kept it there for a while before bringing it up to you cheek.

A small smile tugged at his cheeks, He took a few steps forward so he was directly in front of you putting both of his hands on the railing at your sides leaning down so his head was resting on your shoulder "I'm sorry" he mumbled into your neck.

"It's okay, but I'm always here, talk to me, yell at me, I don't care just get it off your chest, just because you're the leader doesn't mean you have to carry all the weight on your own, you have me and all of the other members" you say putting one of your hands on the nape of his neck and the other on his back tracing small patterns.

" I know" he placed a short kiss on your neck

"Well there's food inside so don't take to long, okay?"

He lifted his head and gave your lips a sweet kiss before returning to his original spot.

You head back in to see all the members slurping at their food while they were all occupied you tidy up random pieces of clothes left on the floor and cups! There were Cups left everywhere!

"(y/n)! Stop cleaning and come and eat while it’s warm." Joshua called

"One minute  " you call running around the remainder of the dorm collecting all the dirty clothes and throwing them in the hamper before sitting on the coach next to Hansol who offers some food which you gladly accept.

Not long after Seungcheol came back in shutting the door behind him slipping a glare at Jun. He sat on the floor in front of you picking up the food you'd made everyone leave for him

"Thank you Y/N" he said tilting his head back to look at you

"Shush" you giggle pushing his head back down to eat but you decide to leave you hands on his head and fiddled with pieces of his hair.

While Seungcheol was eating the members one by one started to return to their bedrooms until it was just the two of you.

"Here" he said knocking you out if your day dream, he held a piece of meat on a spoon over his head to bring it to your mouth you hum as a thank you "I feel so stiff lately" he says rubbing his shoulders "they're really pushing us hard this time"

"But this is too much" you sigh beginning to massage his shoulders " your all so tired and it's not fair" you say rolling your eyes

" I know, I know but look at us” he laughed “we’re basically famous. Now come on." He stands up and grabs your hand.

As soon as he saw the bed he ran and jumped in the middle and rubbed his face on the bed sheet " get changed idiot" you say rolling him off the bed

"Yes ma'am" 

It took a few seconds for him to remove his clothes and replace his outfit with a single baggy shirt.  you turned to face the wall and put the blankets up to your chin to get comfy, you felt the blanket lift and then Seungcheol drape his arm around you and place a kiss at the back of your neck

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?" You say turning to face him "what?" He says lifting a single eye brow

"What's stressing you out? You know what would happen if the Carats found out right?"

He sighs and avoids eye contact looking at the wall behind you

"Hey look at me" you say grabbing rubbing his arm "spill it, whats wrong"

" it's nothing, you don't need to worry"

"If it was nothing you wouldn't be like this" he was silent for a moment

"It's hard. It's so hard....I feel like if I mess up it's the end for all of us... and Jihoon I see him spend hours and hours locked away in his studio to give us songs and I can't do anything to help him, i can see how stressed he gets and how he goes days without sleeping, and i cant help even when i try, i just make it worse, what kind of leader can't help their members... I feel unworthy of the position and that the band could still be fine without me, maybe even better...They're all working so hard and I feel as though I let them down. Today we had to do another hour on the choreography because of me, and I could see how tired everyone was but because of me we had to do another hour and I feel like shit because it's all my fault. I feel like I can't even tell the members how I feel because we're too close and if they see me brake it could effect all of them and I don't want to be anymore of a burden then I already have been." By the end of his venting a few tears had made there way down his cheek even though he tried to wipe them as soon as they fell, you knew it hurt him.

You grab his head and pull it into you chest and stroke the back of his head to sooth him which made him cry harder, you put one hand on his back and the other remained in his head and you rub circles again to try and console him while tears slowly made there way down your own cheeks " your not a burden Seungcheol, we all love you and you do all you possibly can, don't forget how important you are to the team! Ever" you say in a whisper,you continue to try to comfort him until he fell asleep.

You woke up with Seungcheol's head still in your chest, you smile at his peaceful face, it broke your heart to see him in this state he was last night, he's never gotten to this point before and you hope he never does again. Without thinking you begin to trace patterns across his face, admiring it.

Everything was peaceful until you hear a Bang from the kitchen. You don't think you've ever moved so fast especially in the morning, your mind was racing, one of them could of gotten hurt, what it if would affect how they perform! they have a come back coming up!

You skid through the bedroom door way to see Soonyoung and Seungkwan standing around three broken mugs with towels in there hand and Soonyoung had Seungkwan in a headlock but when they saw you they immediately released each other “Sorry, we didn’t mean to wake you” you exhale putting you hands on your temples "what are you doing?" you say rubbing your temples

"Well he hit me with a towel" Seungkwan says pointing at Soonyoung

"ME?!" Soonyoung laughed

"It was you!" Seungkwan said rolling his eyes, they were too caught up arguing to see you walk up to them, you snatched the towel out of Soonyoung’s hand "GET OUT!" You say whipping them with the towel as they ran away.

You begin to clean up the mugs carefully not to cut yourself "idiots" you mumble, well at least.  your fully awake now it was probably better to get a head start on breakfast anyway making 13 meals wasn’t an easy task.

"Seungkwan go get every one up, please" you say finishing the last few eggs.

It wasn't long before you hear Seungkwan running around the door singing loudly, you turn to watch him but that wasn't a smart idea when your making some thing on a very hot pan, in short you burnt the side of your hand making you hiss in pain. Trying to ignore it you continue to make the eggs but someone soon came behind you and pulled you In front of the sink and turned on the cold water "Seungcheol! the eggs going to burn" you say trying to move back to the stove "stop being stubborn and keep it under the water, okay?" In your place Seungcheol puts the remanding eggs on the plate and picks them up to take to the boys " "I told you you don't need to cook for us"

"It's not like I'm cooking a lot and I know you'd go to practice and just get fast food if I didn't"

He shakes his head and puts the food on the table yelling the other members before returning to you.

"Thank you anyway" he says bear hugging you "Is your finger okay now?"

" yeah, don't worry" you chuckle hugging him back

" I love you" he says swaying with you

" I love you too" you smile

"EWWWWW" you hear Seungkwan scream covering Dino's eyes, Seungcheol just threw a place mat at him a resumed the hug.

You were so utterly in love.

[ninatastic]

@kay-licious how dare u (thanks <3) @silent-calling youre doing amazing sweetie

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I wouldnt call it a key factor but it’s important to feel attraction towards your partner

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

sure! If it’s a healthy one definitely :D

3. Are you a virgin?

nah 

4. Are you in a relationship?

yeh!

5. Are you in love?

I’d say so!

6. Are you single this year?

no

7. Can you commit to one person?

yes

8. Describe your crush

it me bf

9. Describe your perfect mate

same as above c: 

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no, only when it comes to animals c;

11. Do you ever want to get married?

thats a dream of mine tbh

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess every healthy person would say no but yes, I’d absolutely do (only the first time tho, after the second time you gotta ask yourself if it’s really worth it)

13. Do you get jealous easily?

in regard to my bf: I used to but it’s a hell of a lot less nowadays. In regard to people in general, sometimes, especially when im not doing well mentally

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

me bf

15. Do you have any piercings?

just have my ears pierced!

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no but maybe soon

17. Do you like kissing in public?

only if its sweet forehead or cheek kisses, or quick kisses on the mouth or hand kisses

20. Do you shower every day?

yes though I gotta admit I really have to force myself. Not because I like being stinky but because everything is kinda difficult sometimes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

bruh I sure hope my bf does;;

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

nah

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 and a half years now, I think so

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

it is possible but who tf knows

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

idk, to be frank: I think my life would be a bit easier if I wasnt in a relationship, or if I hadnt been in a relationship for the past 1-2 years. And I often feel like im more of a burden to my bf than anything else. But thats a different story

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

as in losing touch with me? I guess so

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

a song yes and it was awkward as hell ajhajdfha and people have done drawings for me which is <3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<33

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yup

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

very very unfortunately yes, and just like a bunch of you guys I was this close to killing myself. I was in a very bad place which I know is not an excuse for this. I still think about it even if it’s been a time since then but I think I cqan never forgive myself because of that

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

often but im too much of a scared cat dsfskjf  idk though, I would love to be much more petite size wise

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

oh often

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

yeah;; I’m not exactly pretty or popular, so puberty was hard

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

hell yeah

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

:( no

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeh!!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah and it’s difficult to be normal then aaaaaahhhhhhh

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

some of my friends have a strong disliking towards my current bf but i dont know if you can call it hate

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah and it ruined me for a while

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

uuuuhh not really I think

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

whenever I write bday cards I always put a poem in it :D

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

hella

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

depends on how thirsty I am

43. How long was your longest relationship?

5 and a half years and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2-3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

uuhh I was 14, no one 

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

HELLA

47. How old are you?

22 my dudes

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I#d try to play it cool because internally I’m panicking, someone help me

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I love about my bf how you can ALWAYS count on him when shit gets down, even if he hasnt talked to a friend for a good while and they’re like “hey I need you”, he’ll be there in a sec Also that he is still able to surprise me

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

jsdfhsjdfks GO AWAY, I’d say while closing the door and shutting the blinds quicker than lightning

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

yeah, but that’s probably because I have bpd and depressions

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

yeah, I tried to help them on all occassions, so much that I ruined my own life partially and made myself sick. But whatever I did or said, they apparently want to suffer, so i gave up trying. 

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

yeah my abuser probably

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

unfortunately yes and fortunately yes

55. Share a relationship story.

uuuuuuhhhhh; I dont really know what to write here. Guess I’ll never forget when my bf held a kitten (which was only a week old) in his hands and he almost cried because he loved the baby so much. Haha, he was afraid of crushing it though because it was much smaller than the palms of his hands

56. State 8 facts about your body

I gained a lot of weight since last year which is why I avoid posting or taking pics, but according to everyone else you dont see it that much (?); my hair is getting its natural curliness back; I fucked up my knee so I’ll have knee surgery next year; I bruise easily; I have a shit ton of scars; I love my super green eyes; I have thicc thighs and if I’m very emotional I get red spots all over my body

57. Things you want to say to an ex

to my first ever bf: fuck u lmao to the second bf I had: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope that you found your place :)

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

uuuhhh be sweet and understanding, be funny, be somewhat smart, dont be a mean asshole and be nice to other people (especially kids) and animals and also be able to be fascinated by small things 

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

yikes

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

my current bf is 8 years older than me

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

how open and nice they are? Idk I always choose my ppl to hang out with according to this

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

even though I’m a switch I have a big preference for being the sub, so if someone can dominate me and yknow do stull like carry me princess style or something im all like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

everything that comes after kissing imo

64. What is your definition of cheating?

I think as soon as you try to pursue someone emotionally that already counts as cheating

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

kissing, grinding, I love when someone talks dirty to me

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

if it aint too much of a tmi i’d love to admit that we have a collar and a leash so (not thinking about pet play uughfjhjsdfkhsd, just yknow someone is able to drag me to them like this or being held in place while being taken from behind is p nice)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

something something being outside in the nature and also good food 

68. What is your sexual orientation?

69. What turns you off?

super super wet kisses where also my nose somehow gets stuck in someone elses mouth Like dude r u a vacuum cleaner sdfhsdkjhfks

70. What turns you on?

being manhandled

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

idk I dont really have a lot of wet dreams and usually theyre not very kinky but rather sweet and slow 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I like dirty talk, so imma leave that open 

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

i love to get flowers, or lil stuff that reminds us of our friendship or something, self made/home made stuff is always !!!!!!!!!!!!

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

probably hands? I love it when girls have super slender hands and when boys have rough and big hands

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I already answered that c:

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I have a few stories I’m proud of! But I really love this one: When I was little I grew up in a village in which like 300-400 people lived (maximum) and next to us lived this sweet older couple who always gave us sweets and vegetable for our parents, or they brought us stuff from when they went on vacation. The man is now constantly sick, he suffers from parkinson and you see the early statges of dementia setting in. A while ago he wanted to go and get the German version of fish and chips with his wife but due to him needing a ton of surgeriesw constantly he wasnt able to go out with his wife. When my mom told me this I was like wtf u cant just tell me this, I’m too soft. So I went and got fish and chips from the best market around us for him and flowers for his wife, despite the fact that I havent seen them in YEARS. When I arrived at their front door both of them hugged me and cried a bit

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

not bad if everything is consensual and if there’s a power balance thats equal 

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I think the leash thing is one of the kinkiest things we’ve ever done tbh

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

yesterday a bit when my bf went out wth friends and had a few beers while I was stuck at home with the thought that I can never have a beer again dkadfjahdf as stupid as that sounds but I always enjoyed these chill evenings with a beer and friends

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

this morning when I cuddled my cats :D

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

my bf and many videogame and anime characters, also my best female friend is hella attractive, also some of my friends are to die for

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my bf!!

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my first bf sdfjsdfs

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

it didnt really work out, it seemed as he was more interested in saying “hey im in a relationship!” than in me, hah;;

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

yeah, sure

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

The Best Worst Day (a Guardiancorp ficlet)

The second James sees the first box of chocolates creep into the CatCo bullpen, he knows he's fucked up.

Kara sees his expression and deduces it's meaning in an instant. "Oh, no... please tell me you didn't forget your first Valentine's Day with Lena."

"What?" he sputters. "No. Of course not."

Her face serves as evidence towards her credulous disbelief. "Uh huh."

James forces a grin. "Don't you have an interview to get to?"

"Sure do! I'm on my way to L-Corp right now." Her eyebrow lifts in a smirk, and James recognizes it because he sees it so often on someone else. Kara's been spending too much time with Lena. "I'll let her know you say hi."

She departs with a jaunt in her step, and James' heart only sinks lower.

He doesn't even have flowers. He could try to throw money at a florist for a last minute delivery, or send his assistant to the nearest jewelry store, but he dismisses the idea as soon as it comes. What little his money could buy at the last minute isn't the experience he had in mind. Lena deserves better.

When he calls her, in the scant minutes he has between a pitch meeting and a status update with the art department, he gives her the only gift he has: honesty.

"Hey," he croaks, throat rough with dread.

"Hey," comes the reply, her voice warm in the way it only was with him. "Happy Valentine's Day."

James swallows. "Happy Valentine's Day," he echoes. He clears his throat. "That's actually sort of the reason I'm calling. I... I totally forgot."

"Oh." She paused, and James waits for the ground to open up and swallow him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah, it's just been crazy busy, and I had a whole plan in January, but with everything that's been going on-- I just totally flaked. Lena, I'm so sorry."

"No, James, it's fine." James imagines he can hear her smile, but his guilt can't quite let him believe it. "Really."

"Are you still free for lunch? I know we had something penciled in, and I still have an hour free..."

"Actually, I cant. Something's come up."

Oh. Of course.

"But, hey..."

James latches onto the caveat with both hands. "Yeah?"

"If you have time to swing by tonight, I could make it worth your while."

The purr in Lena's voice sends tendrils of desire down James' spine, only to clash with another heavy dose of guilt.

"The art department is struggling to meet the deadline. I want them to get out at a decent time, so I'll probably be here late to get them a leg up for tomorrow."

Silence answers him.

"I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"No, that's okay. I'll check in with you later." This time, Lena's voice sounds tight.

"I'm sorry." Guilt settles heavily in his gut. "I love you. I really do."

"Love you too. Talk to you later."

The day passes agonizingly slow. Lunch comes and goes, spent working alone without food at his desk. He isn't interrupted until an hour later, when Brenda comes in with a look of confusion on her face.

"What's up?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Olsen, but there's a gentleman here to see you. He doesn't have an appointment, but he says he's here on an errand for Miss Luthor...?"

James tries to get a peek through the door, but the man has his back to the office, observing the bustling bullpen that's taken no notice of him. He doesn't have anything in his hands, and doesn't look like a messenger.

"Send him in," James allows. "I'll take care of it."

He finishes up his last email as Brenda bustles out, and hits send just as his visitor comes striding in.

"James Olsen! Just the man I came to see!"

James' stomach flops in his belly as he looks up to see none other than Nathan Poirot grinning at him from the other side of his desk.

THE Nathan Poirot.

"Oh my god. Hi," James blurts, standing sharply. "Mr. Poirot, hi. Welcome. I'm a huge fan of yours."

White teeth flash against dark skin as Poirot's smile deepens. It's clearly a habit of his-- the older man's face is lined with decades laughter, and he does so now with tangible mirth.

"I'm glad to hear that," he returns. "But please, call me Nate."

James mouth goes dry. "Sure. Sure, I can do that. Nate." He swallows. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting your visit."

"Oh, yeah. Miss Luthor mentioned this was a surprise."

"So Lena did send you?" James asks. Confusion niggles at the back of his mind.

Nate nods. "Lionel Luthor owned the Monarchs back while I was still playing. We got friendly, and kept in touch over the years."

"Yeah, I've followed your career since I was a kid. The first black major league pitcher from Metropolis? You were my hero. Man, I felt that rotator cuff injury like it was my own."

Nate laughs again. "And I'm still feeling it! You know, I tried to keep going, but my career ended that day. But, I'm glad for it."

"Yeah?"

"Gave me more time with my family, and got me out early enough that I actually get to enjoy my golden years."

James nods. "And you started The Pitcher's Digest. That was huge."

"It was. But now I'm looking to retire. For good, this time. I'm looking to sell, but to someone who'll take good care of the Digest. When I heard that Lena had purchased CatCo, I floated out an inquiry." Nate grins. "She said you were the man to talk to."

Eyebrows lifting, Jamed can't help his surprise. "She did?"

"I was relieved to hear you're a fan. I can't give the Digest to just anyone."

James blinks, and suddenly the stars faded and he stares at the monumental honor looming in front of him. One he might not be able to take.

He chooses his words carefully. "CatCo doesn't have much market for sports journalism. It's not our demographic..."

"I understand that. But I think it could be. As it is, maybe it's better suited to an older generation. But with CatCo's reach and resources, I think you could change it into something that'll inspire a whole new generation of younger athletes."

"You're willing to let us do that?"

"When I say I'm retiring, I mean it! It's been a long time coming, and I'm not too proud to say I'm behind the times. That's why I wanted to speak with you. I can't give the Digest to someone who doesn't understand what it means to be underrepresented in media, especially in sports. These kids need to see themselves in the pages, to know they can do anything they put their mind to. To know that there'll be someone paying attention when it's their turn to shine."

James nods slowly, rolling the idea around in his head. "Okay. Yeah, we might be able to work with that. I can't make any promises today, but--"

"Don't need one today, son." Nate claps him on the shoulder. "Come on. How about I take you to lunch, and I can tell you all about the time I pranked Howie Louis so bad he refused to use the Monarchs locker room for two seasons."

James grabs his phone and jacket without hesitation. On his way out the door, he shoots Lena a short text.

Sneaky lady.

Her response is swift. What can I say? It's in the genes. Have fun.

He returns to the office full of good food and better conversation, and a promise to follow up regarding the fate of the Digest. He's in such a good mood he nearly leaves early, but when the art director stops in with her eyes full of frenzy, James resigns himself to the long night ahead.

He stays even after the art director finally leaves, determined to catch up on the paperwork he'd set aside in favor of putting out fires.

To his disappointment, his phone remains silent, undisturbed by calls or texts.

"Knock knock."

Lena smiles at him from doorway, a wicker basket looped over one arm. She's in a dress, but one that's soft and casual rather than her usual sharp lines. With her hair fluffed over one shoulder, she looks like a dream.

A dream James greets with an instant smile. "Hey."

"I know you're busy, but I figured you haven't eaten yet. I can leave this here--"

"Only if you stay with it."

James closes the distance between them and pulls her into a soft kiss. When they break apart, their bodies stay flush together, savoring the contact.

"I think I can spare a few minutes," Lena teases. James takes the basket from her, and starts unpacking. They spread a white tablecloth over the coffee table between the sofas, and unpack plates and wine glasses side by side.

When Lena starts cracking open the containers of food, James nearly melts at the aroma that wafts off of pasta and a duck confit browned butter sauce.

"That smells... amazing," he confesses readily. They sit, and James scrunches as close as he can to Lena. "Where's all this from?"

"Casa de Luthor."

"You made this?"

"I do know how to cook, you know," she informs him. "I just don't have the time for it."

At that, James' good mood dims. "But you did tonight."

He takes her hand in his, food forgotten.

"I really wanted to help make tonight special for us. Valentines Day usually feels liks a burden, but this year, it felt like it was going to mean a lot, you know? I had a whole thing I wanted to do, but... I'm sorry. You're amazing, Lena. You deserve better from me."

Lena gazes at him, eyes sparkling in the warm light of the office. "First of all: most of this was prepped over the weekend, so there was minimal effort this evening. Secondly... I'm kind of glad."

"What, that I forgot about Valentine's Day and have to work all night?"

"Maybe not the forgetting, but I certainly understand it. I meant..." She trails off, gathering her thoughts. When she finds the words she's looking for, she shifts closer to him. "When I was thinking of things we could do tonight, I kept thinking of what you've done for me that means the most... which is this."

James smiles, puzzling. "I don't follow."

"The nights you've come to L-Corp, bringing dinner and offering your company."

"But that's nothing!"

"Not to me."

Lena's voice deepens with honesty. James stills, sobered by the sound of it.

"To me, they're everything." She shrugs, a smile playing her lips. "So it's fitting that I get the chance to pay it forward."

James nods. "Okay, then."

A brilliant smile dazzles him, and just like that the soberness lifts. "However, if you let this food get cold, I'm sorry but I will have to break up with you."

With a laugh, James reaches for the wine bottle and corkscrew. "Well, we can't have that."

He pours her glass first, then his own, pretending all the while he doesn't feel her gaze on him.

"Hey," she says softly.

When he turns, cool hands cup his cheeks and warm lips gently kiss him again. For a moment, the world falls away, and it's just the two of them. Together.

"I love you," she murmurs when she does, her thumb stroking his jaw. "And I am so happy I have you."

James smiles, and kisses her again. "I love you too," he promises. "A little more every day."

He reaches for the pasta, and shoots her smile. "You'll never guess who I got to meet today."