#I CANNOT play this game without trying to romance him i need to marry him

[mell0w0dyssey]

I'm very normal about this man...

screaming crying throwing up

Messy ass work doodles under here:

[lanaevyssmoved]

👀 what if I was interested in that Gale poly rant but in a positive way?

LKSJFDLKFJGDFG i can't use the rant on you then because it would be too clinical and i would angry swear sometimes probably

but honestly like. first we need to talk about halsin . wait first we need to talk about poly as a sexuality

i'm going to try and not turn this into a massive character analysis or analysis of queer identity in media etc so i will attempt to retain my humour throughout to ground me

people who are poly tend to sit on either side of a coin. poly is a preferred state of relationship, or just a state of relationship they enjoy, and they can do just fine with monogamy, and everything is chill - ultimate relaxed person mode. the other side is the group of poly individuals who view poly as important to them and their sexual identity as being straight or gay or bisexual or pansexual or any other identity. for them it is part of the queer umbrella and it is fundamental to their being, they can't turn it off, they can't be ok with monogamy, this is who they are.

for reference, halsin is the latter. poly is part of his sexual identity.

halsins poly rep is, spoken from a poly person, ok. it is ok. it's not good, it's not bad. it's mostly the stuff around halsin i don't like. (and i am not going to talk about his drow situation, for reference, because that shit goes beyond poly rep.) making halsin token poly, for lack of a better word, would realistically be fine in most situations, in fact i've talked with aisling about this and i would have preferred they made him poly with no poly options in the game to go with him over what we got - we can't forget he was added late, he isn't as fleshed out, he feels a bit misplaced sometimes, and his poly goes hand in hand with that. he could have existed as a poly character, which nearly all wood elves are in canon, without shoving in some poly options for him with existing companions who would explore that with anyone else despite the game allowing you to romance those companions with the other companions if you play as them? and they flirt with each other in banter quite regularly? i don't know. it feels very like, o shit we gotta make him poly he's a wood elf! and he's a druid! but we have no options for him! who are the easiest to add without it feeling odd??? like idk. it doesn't feel great from a poly pov, and if you enjoy like halsin x shart x tav or halsin x astarion x tav that's totally cool - i am not dismissing these at all because i don't fucking care about canon so even if it didn't exist in canon in a way i don't really like, i would still be cool with it.

our poly rep leaves much to be desired, tldr.

i am happy it exists, however. and my hope is that one day in the future when we have an rpg where every romance option is bisexual or pansexual that they are also poly. that is my ultimate ideal for the future of these situations in gaming. i know some people are uncomfortable with poly, but that's why we refer to what i first said. you can have characters like halsin where it is fundamental to their being - they will never be monogamous, you cannot change them. but you can also have individuals who are cool with monogamy if you're not comfortable with polyamory. i want characters who will date each other on their own, and you can join the polycule, or get involved with just one of them. i want devs to be open minded and not give us a token polyamorous character and instead explore it in better ways.

i have known many poly people, i've dated poly people of both sides of the coin, i've been involved with people who are married to someone they don't live with but have nesting partners (a partner they live with who isn't their spouse) and multiple partners on the side and follow the hierarchy side of poly. my ex helped me understand poly as a sexuality and they also didn't subscribe to poly hierarchy and all their partners would be equal. poly is an expansive identity and it deserves the attention and respect other queer identities do.

a poly person creating poly ships and poly situationships with a character or characters who are confirmed monogamous is the same to me as a gay person creating gay ships and gay situationships with a character or characters who are confirmed straight. and that might be divisive, because many people, including queer people are not ready for or not comfortable with polyamory yet in their spaces. now i can be respectful of people who have trauma around polyamory because they were involved with someone who used it as a weapon - usually done by someone who isn't actually poly. but we as poly people deserve to take up space, we deserve to be in your media, we deserve respect, we deserve to be represented well.

and if video game devs aren't going to do that for me, you bet your ass i'm gonna do it for myself. no one can take that power for me.

what exists in my game doesn't have to mean shit for yours - it doesn't exist in yours. it is a thing i do for me to make me happy. if anyone gets upset about that they need to go outside.

please don't cast a witches curse on me

i might come back to edit this ... i haven't proof read it..... this was just screaming <3 i'm too tired to read my own words back

[v-arbellanaris]

i have a question. or not really a question and more like a request for advice.

basically: my mahariel is currently canonically involved with alistair in dao until the landsmeet where he dumps her because he's now king and was unhardened. this is all planned and on purpose because it was the least tragic outcome for my worldstate. mahariel later gets in another relationship that presumably works out well unless da4 does something to either hof or the other person. but that's not the point.

the point is, i made her romance alistair when i liked him. and now i... kinda don't. i'm not sure what happened but he's starting to annoy me. you could make up some "you just grew up" stuff probably but i was 17 when first playing and now i'm 20 so not much growing up could happen.

and now i don't know what to do. do i just never play dao again (actually plausible because i fried my brain on top of having adhd and now i cannot replay games without just skipping dialogue because it's not captivating anymore) to avoid cringing at his romance? do i change her entire romance and the worldstate (it used to be carefully planned to not kill either alistair or hawke because i didn't want that kind of unhappy ending for mahariel and because my hawke is andersmancer and anders is literally the reason i started the game so i'm NOT breaking my blorbo's heart like that) but i feel like that would undermine the 3 years of building canon? do i just accept that i have to get through alistair's romance if i ever replay dao on my babygirl?

i literally have no idea what to do and if i should even do anything. like it's pixels and not that deep. help

also no hate to alistair enjoyers i get the appeal but seems like it ended up not being my cup of tea.

sorry for the wall of text and it's probably very incoherent i have no brain and it's 1 am and i'm not even currently focused on dragon age but i needed to ask someone for an opinion apparently

AHHHHH i love it when aliwarden drama its soooo good. for obvious reasons, like kal's worldstate, i love it when he dumps you for various reasons.

i think this makes sense though! each individual is different, and the past three years have been enough to age anyone twenty years, so it's understandable if you look back at him with a different perspective. that being said, i also understand being really reluctant to undo 3 years worth of work on character and dynamic building.

from my perspective, you have several options:

ONE, you replay dao with your babygirl and see where that takes you. sometimes, that's a return to the whiteboard or to have the opportunity to explore the game can open up loads of new areas for consideration you might not have been able to think of out of game because in-game you just sometimes have to make a snap decision. i DID also do this w my kal pt which made me change canon from alistair getting exiled to king alistair married to anora which i'm really happy with because 1. kal having to live with the consequences of her actions in a very real way 2. the inherent messiness of that whole situation after is something i enjoy intensely. and you might find another romance more interesting to pursue for mahariel you might not have thought of!

TWO, incorporate this perspective growth into your character! i think one of the most tragic aspects of the aliwarden romance - if you're doing a Specific kind of pt, like yours, and like my alikal runs as well - is that in a lot of ways, for a lot of characters, the tragic inevitability of their falling apart can always be there from the start. wynne's warnings become a prophecy rather than just her brownnosing. for kal, she was always going to be on the opposite character arc that alistair was going to be on because of how their stories start and end - kal has already gotten her revenge at the start of the story, whereas alistair is heading towards the resolution of a revenge story at the end. so maybe it's worth it to try and think about the headspace your mahariel starts in, and how she develops through the story, and how the story shapes her - and how that differs or doesn't differ from alistair. how does her growth through the story impact alistair's?

in defense of alistair's... childishness? i suppose? he acts young because he is very young! he's nineteen! a lot his humour is a mask for very deep trauma and insecurities. and his decisions can be very frustrating for a HOF but i think considering that he's grieving the loss of a lot people he cared about - ofc he talks about duncan specifically but he does also talk about a lot of the other fereldan wardens, everyone who had made the wardens a family for him over the last six months for a guy who has never had a family before and deeply, intensely, wants one is really insane. and i think it really puts a lot of his actions into perspective and contextualise that. and maybe going through the game and re-experiencing Actual Alistair and not Fandom Perspectives On Alistair might help you reach a decision about where you want to go with him narratively.

i hope that was of help to you!

[venisonhare]

MAJOR COS SPOILERS: for my players at least for the ones on tumblr, I have faith you wont look at this one. Just this once I beg and trust

For some context, because I and all of my players are queer/trans I made this friendly for an all lgbt group, including switching some things around for them to have more fun in barovia. I also switched who tatyana was in love with bc I feel like the main cos story has been heard and known for eons and as a dm, I wanted to have fun with a story I played through and was already well versed in. Strahd is still the main antagonist since without a soul, all he has left are fleeing memories and the obsessive thought of who his lover once was. He cannot let things go and will 100% make it everyone else's problem

-strahd: "I am the ancient I am the land" that sounds nb as fuck to me. Strahd, till an absolute sleezy bastard goes by any pronouns and if not made obvious by who he keeps around for company, also a bisexual king. After taking the vampyr deal, he is unable to love fully, however, so he does view all his spouses/loved ones like treasured objects. Even though his consorts are treasured to him, his obsession with finding tatyana is stronger.

-rahadin: I feel like he's on the aro/ace spectrum because of how he views romance. It's not that he can't date but because of his absolute loyalty boner for strahd, there is no need or interest for anyone else. Also bros like an amoeba so he's perfectly fine if that's how things are. After the fall of the dusk elf kingdom, he accidentally proposes to strahd by kneeling down, offering him the crown of the king so strahd thinks they're married.

-Tatyana: Demigirl in the sense that she's a woman sure but like she's also her own individual person outside of the social standard. If she was called by any other pronouns she wouldn't mind

-ludmilla: she's demiromantic and understands that what she has with strahd can never be romantic. She's platonically involved with rhadin as they're the oldest members of castle ravenloft and is married to anastrasya.

-anastrasya: married Ludmilla before being with strahd for the immortality perks so she could be with her wife. Will only date non-men and supposed being situationally involved with strahd wasn't so bad since he's an entity, not a man.

-volenta: she and strahd are together out of entertainment and I feel like she will romantically involve herself with anyone regardless of gender as long as they can be chaotic with her.

-Escher: god I love barovias favorite twink so much. Married to strahd and is trying to court ludmilla. She finds him endearing and wishes to reciprocate but as the newest vampire, she wants to wait until he gets a hold of things. Was also with doru and ismark for a short time before being turned

-Ismark: was in a relationship with escher before he was turned. During the insurrection at castle ravenloft, the title of "lesser" was given to him in my game because he was the only person to come back from castle ravenloft unharmed/alive. During that incident, escher was severely injured so ismark made a deal with strahd to turn him/keep him as a consort. He now owes strahd a favor for keeping his lover alive and hasn't seen escher since. He has no clue if strahd held his end of the deal or not and drinks himself out of his lesser title and the uncertain end of his lover. Escher unaware of the deal refuses to visit ismark for his own safety

-ireena: demiromantic (aro/ace spec) I swear she's literally a ragdoll in the campaign I need my players to get her out of there. Engaged to victor, stalked by izek and strahd, will be almost sacrificed by the abbot when my players get to krezk. She literally wants nothing else but someone shes interested in for once and 10 seconds to be left tf alone.

-doru: was romantically involved with escher before the death march incident. Was turned into nothing but a mere spawn by strahd but father donovich managed to collect him and well the whole basement situation happened. My players managed to free him and now he's safe traveling with arrigal

-arrigal: 0 gender 0 labels. He's literally living his best life free from care of anything "trivial" like a label on who or what he is. Working for strahd, he drops hints about wanting arrigal to serve him as a consort but that would take his ability to leave the mist. Valuing his freedom above all else, arrigal pretends to not notice and this will become a subplot issue for my players later on.

-Victor: gay man. Turned stella wachter into a cat girl because he tried to turn her into "something he would like" without specifying anything and the tome tried to be funny. Literally in forced engagement limbo to women which he has 0 interest in

-abbot: the champion of lethander needs no gender. He may not be all there mentally, but I gave him the ability to transform a physical being into something that matches their soul. Free sex change by the abbot /hj

In honor of pride month I want to hear about how queer you made Barovia please and thank you.

For my game:

Strahd is a bisexual king right out of the book, which is awesome.

Rahadin is asexual, but not in like, an ace kind of way. Like in a single-celled organism kind of way.

Ireena is aroace! A decision partly inspired by a certain pool of water (iykyk), and also because she’s a little bit my self-insert. A PC hit on her in like session four and was immediately told, “Do not ever speak to me that way again.” She’s iconic and I adore her.

IZMARK. IZ. GAY. And madly in love with the druid. Unfortunately Izmark does not know he is gay. He believes it is very normal to lovingly stare into your homie's eyes and look down at his lips and imagine what it would be like to kiss him. And it is very normal to comment on how attractive your homie is, cause that's just what bros do.

Vollenta is a beautiful lesbian who refuses to let the fact that she is married to Strahd change the fact that she is a lesbian and nobody will tell her or her pile of bodies otherwise.

Ludmilla is on the ace spectrum. I mean, come on. She's with the guy for power and grant money. She says she loves him, and they're definitely intimate, but she's the kind of girly to take notes before during and after, you know?

Escher. What even needs to be said about Escher. He's Ravenloft's resident twink and proud of it. He's a little lonely and can't stop thinking about the boy he was in love with when he was young, who is now old and grizzled from age, while Escher himself remains the same age he was when he betrayed his lover and chose Strahd instead, but like... he's also pretty and immortal, so who cares?

(Escher Bonus Content: Two moms! They loved him very much and were upsettingly supportive of his decision to become Strahd's newest consort)

Anastrasya: idk she's dead pre-campaign in mine so if you came here looking for commentary on her you will not get it.

Ezmerelda is a trans lesbian! She's gorgeous and I adore her. She's just so confident that she can kill Strahd on her own and I think she's right for that. I knew I wanted her to be a love interest for one of my PCs, and it just so happens that the player in question has a type.

Danika is also bi, and she's very happily married to her wonderful little husband. This hasn't come up in the campaign at all it's just something I know to be true in my heart.

The Abbot: Gender! Fluid! Call them whatever you want. He/him when you want to play on ideas of masculinity in religious circles, they/them when you want to make them seem undefinable, she/her when you want your PCs to reflect on how much mom trauma they all have :)

Sergei is straight but that man loves the queer community so much and he deserves an honorable mention.

Arrigal is gay and very pissed that the party keeps knocking on his wagon door at 3am. His ex-husband/current boyfriend has been coerced into co-parenting a child with the cleric.

There's definitely others but these are my versions of the little guys. I am so interested to hear other people's takes on them.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I like the First Flush Malleus interaction. Tbh when you start out with so much hope and narration about that giddiness when you think your feelings are reciprocated, it’s already a huuuuge red flag for angst to come lmao 😂

The best part about this is you don’t follow a typical happily ever after. Responsibilities are not always just chains, they are necessary most of the time and Malleus definitely knows this. Any Disney movie would have the protagonists change the society’s rules for their own goals, which isn’t wrong (in like movies like Aladdin), but Malleus is definitely a prince who would prioritize his duties and his people, and even if he hates the loneliness, he’ll still go through with it. I like how you stay true to his character with this interaction 👍🏻

[Referencing this imagine!]

A basic rule of writing, in my eyes 😌 “Build something up before you tear it down!”

When I got the prompt “desire to deeply understand”, I knew that I wanted to do something different. I think the immediate idea that comes to a lot of people’s minds is a scenario where the reader is charmed by Malleus’s mysteriousness and seeks to get to know him better. However, since I don’t particularly find that concept interesting (especially as it already echoes the friendship of Yuu and Malleus in the main story, so it has already been “done” and would feel superfluous to repeat), I wanted to tackle the prompt using a different approach.

I want to preface the rest of this post by saying there is nothing wrong with enjoying shipping Malleus with anyone, whether that be a canon character, an OC, a Yuusona, a self-insert, what have you. From hereon out, I am only speaking about TWST canon, and my own analysis of Malleus’s character, and my personal writing style. These all play into my hardships with writing Malleus in a romantic light, and I want to share those thoughts, as they do play into my commentary of the imagine being referenced.

Truthfully, it can be challenging for me to write Malleus in romantic scenarios because it requires a lot of suspension of disbelief on my part. I try to incorporate in-game lore into my writing when I can to help me stay in character, and Malleus’s unique circumstances clash with what I am sometimes asked to write.

He has been shown to consistently put his country over himself, his loneliness, and his personal gripes with others. Malleus is well aware of what his duties are as crown prince and that he needs to behave a certain way as a representative of the Briar Valley. I would definitely believe that this mindset would extend to matters of romance and intimate feelings; I think he would make it of secondary importance, with his kingdom taking priority. More specifically, in Ghost Marriage, it is pointed out a few times that Malleus can’t just propose to any random person (even if it is to save someone else, and even if the Ghost Bride herself is already a princess). It seems that status alone is not enough for Malleus to just... casually court someone in canon (and I would imagine status is just the bare minimum requirement for someone as important as he is). This is why Sebek ends up being sent to propose to Eliza in his place. In fact, a huge part of Malleus’s character overall is that he has restricted liberties (such as not even being able to take a night time stroll without his guards becoming worried for his safety) and cannot act as he truly pleases—but in spite of this, he still makes the conscious decisions to do what is best for his people and to avoid conflict with sovereigns of other nations. It is what he must do for the greater good, and he is willing to sacrifice his own feelings to achieve it.

I think that most Disney properties (especially the older ones) definitely use the “is royalty, must marry royalty” thing as a convenient plot line to later be overturned so true love can prevail (see: Aladdin) or to have the perfect happily ever after between a traditional prince and princess (see: most other Disney princess films). They never get into the politics or the consequences of a royal marrying a commoner, or a royal marrying some random royal they met in a few days’ time, it’s just hand waved away and accepted as “the norm”. Love and happy endings are prioritized. Because of this, I feel like most people have similar or the same expectations of Twisted Wonderland nobility, by association as a Disney property. However, I find it interesting that being in a position of power is actually taken far more seriously in TWST, often playing into character traumas and backstories which deeply affect who characters are and what they act like in present day. Malleus in particular is written with many restrictions in mind, and not purely for the sake of cartoonish comedy (ie Cinderella being made to walk with books on her head to learn how to be “elegant” like a princess). It’s clear that he has grown up in isolation and was raised to rule, that he is grossly cognizant of his duties and how they take precedence over all else in his life... and that is, in of itself, a double-edged sword which he willingly takes in the spirit of self-sacrifice and as the future leader of his country. This even plays into the main story, and how he keeps his identity from Yuu because he finds it refreshing that someone doesn’t know who he is. He can just be himself, if only for a few seconds—but ultimately, he is still crown prince with responsibilities and a reputation to uphold, and he needs to adhere to those. Malleus doesn’t act overly friendly with Yuu; he remains calm and composed (for example, not really reacting to being invited to VDC until he is in private) and keeps his interactions curt and professional (refer to the holiday card he sent; it’s very much short and to the point). There’s a little mischief here and there, maybe the occasional snarky comment toward his peers, but still within “safe bounds” that wouldn’t cause any major conflicts with others. All of that is to say that even in spending time with someone that allows him to be “himself”, Malleus still holds himself to certain standards due to his upbringing and his status. People are looking for him to lead, and he knows he cannot fail them. That’s a lot of weight on his shoulders, and he carries it with grace. It’s a contrast to the usual Disney formula, with more of an emphasis on realistic consequences and placing personal obligations over feelings.

In knowing all of that, it becomes hard for me to write “x Malleus” requests because my mind keeps cycling back to the reminder that, in all likelihood, the romantic partner I’m writing for is a fellow student and a commoner, which, again, according to canon, isn’t a freedom Malleus is granted as crown prince. I can usually manage to overlook these things by just picturing the reader inserts I write for as someone who is already Malleus’s betrothed and someone qualified to rule beside him. I’m glad that I was able to write at least this one piece which somewhat addresses the dissonance between canon lore and common fandom sentiments or expectations. It can be a really hard balance to strike as a content creator.

[obeymeluv]

Cute + Awkward Headcanons (SFW/NSFW)

Trying to turn a bad day around, so I thought of these

Lucifer

Sometimes you can’t tell if he’s giving you bedroom eyes or if he’s actually angry. Lucifer has spent THOUSANDS of years glaring at his brothers and doesn’t know if he’s just staring or glaring

I think he’s super out of practice with romance so he’s hella awkward but when he gets that first positive sign that you’re into him, the charm and pride wakes up and suddenly he’s smooth AF

Flirts so formally he misses his shot 8/10 times

Has a habit of trying to police you like one of his brothers and it’s a knee-jerk, 1000+ year reaction to looking after 6 man-children of various difficulties. Always owns up and apologizes

Has accidentally almost made you pass out from kissing too long. Forgets you don’t have the same lung capacity

BRUISES YOU TO HELL! FORGETS SO MUCH! FEELS SO BAD!

That’s why he has the gloves, to soften his grip because he was one of the strongest in the Celestial Realm and that translates to power in the Devildom

Only complains to you about his back pain from long nights burning the candle at both ends. You find it cute and sad at the same time

Is probably physically very heavy given his stature and the weight of his wings, so if he falls asleep on you, you’re trapped

Rare midnight snack dates when he MUST finish papers by the deadline.

You may or may not have had a Demonus date in his study when a particularly bad batch of paperwork was finally done

You’ve probably cracked at least one (1) antique wood chair

Quickly learned he CANNOT spank you because that shit seriously bruised your ass. You either need a strengthening charm or he has to re-learn how to use his strength around people

That caused one awkward visit to the infirmary because you didn’t know if you were just sore, pinched, dislocated, or cracked. Turns out you were fine. There was no mistaking that hand print, though

It was the second time he’d apologized so profusely in his life. There was no pride left in this man.

You had a special cushion to ease the pain and it looked top of the line (hella fancy. Could probably resell it as fake Gucci in the human world.)

Lucifer gives me big dom vibes and orgasm denial/over-stimulation kink because of his pride basically demanding you beg for him. You passed out at least once from over-stimulation.

When you first start dating he wouldn’t want to own up to any awkward boners so if you sit in his lap while he’s taking a paper break, he’ll make every excuse under the sun (”That’s my belt,”, etc.)

Mammon

This boy is nothing but awkward moments, are you kidding me?

It’s a lot of ‘open mouth, insert foot’ because he can’t be upfront with his feelings. It’s partly not wanting to lose any ‘cred’ he has with people, but also because he’s embarrassed and can’t be honest

There’s lots of tracking you down to sort out things you might have overheard (that he didn’t honestly mean if they sounded bad)

Super sentimental about anything to do with you. You once kissed a piece of Grimm as a good luck charm for his exam and he’d kill someone over it. Always has it on him.

This lovable doofus just assumes you’re dating because you’re always together and you’re perfect and he’s your best man so who’s better?!

When you actually ask him out (with something silly, like ‘I think us dating would be pretty cash money’), he’s so confused. (”But we’ve been dating for, like, a month! Right, human?!”)

He talks big but he’s weak. You’ll always be able to fluster him

Wanted to make love to you on some Grimm and quickly realized that it’s uncomfortable. Porn lied to him and the idea’s ruined. You guys cut the session short to find every piece of Grimm so you can actually lay in the bed

 Tends to plunk his head down on your chest and demand scratches/cuddles and has bruised you several times.

Accidentally fought you once or twice for his glasses while half asleep. Levi, Asmo, and Satan used to take them and hide from him

You learned he’s actually hella blind (contacts with non-prescription sunglasses or prescription yellow glasses) and have walked him around the House of Lamentation several times when his glasses went missing

He’ll complain about his brothers having it out for him and getting back at him, but it turns out they just wanted to make an excuse for you guys to hold hands. It’s like a date!

Made you hit your head on the headboard once when he was doing missionary style. Had to stop and check on you, then it got awkward. He cuddled and kissed you the whole time, though. Even got you an ice pack!

The type to flirt with you, try to lean on something, and take himself out on the way down

You’ve had a few of those cliche ‘trip and fell on each other’ moments

Has accidentally swung you into doors and walls trying to scoop you up and run/march out of a room

Levi

This boy is also super awkward

When you’re alone, he’s an absolute sucker for any kind of affection you can give. This boy will literally slither across the floor to make himself comfortable in your lap so he can game.

Pet his hair. He loves that.

Will also have to re-train himself on how to be with you in public. With him, it’s not making fun of a ‘normie’ as much.

Not big on PDA but will definitely hold your hand. How ELSE are people going to know you’re together?!

You get cute matching shirts or jewelry with the ‘Player 1, Player 2′ theme

Does a lot more snake-like things with his tongue. Especially when frustrated. Rub his jaw and chin to see it come out a little bit. It’s like a happy floppy dog tongue, just not as long or wide.

Craves a soft, warm thing to sleep on. You will be his new bed.

The first time you had sex, he broke out his demon form because he looked at you and loved you. He knew he’d get jealous if anyone ever saw you.

Was a little clumsy but determined. Sank in and started going at it, but wanted to look down and watch. He got his horns stuck in your hair and had to stop.

Is #1 fan when you’re naked. (”Ugh. Smother me.”) Boy can’t stand it. He needs it.

Tries to dress a little nicer (even if it’s casual) when you guys go out on dates.

You pack little snack bags when he stands in line for midnight releases and GODDAMN he’s gonna marry you?!

If you’re napping together and someone comes to wake him up or needs you, he just glares at them from underneath you, tail swishing threateningly. No one takes his human, okay?!

He has over-the-ear headphones but I bet he carries earbuds and has probably done that ‘share an earbud’ thing to hold you close and listen to music

Do you need to get up while he’s still sleeping? Untangle yourself and tuck your pillow in his arms. He’ll be fine. Bonus: you get to see the snuggling in action.

Between all the anime and centuries in the Devildom, he’s gotten used to using tails as another way of expression. They act subconsciously based on what the demon’s thinking. He’s surprised both of you several times by accidentally wrapping you up in his tail because he doesn’t want you to leave.

When he gets visibly uncomfortable in social situations, slip him something with your scent on it. It’s comforting. If you make up an excuse to get him out of there (he’s your escort and all), he’s over the moon.

Satan

Had more awkward moments than he’s willing to admit, but he’s more open about them than Lucifer. Basically, if someone guesses it happened, he won’t deny it.

BOY HAS A BOWTIE KINK. PLAY WITH HIS. STEAL ONE AND WEAR IT!

Has probably tripped over books walking you through his room or rushing to answer the door (not that you’d know how happy it makes him).

There’s a 50-50 chance that he’ll steal a glance and act like he didn’t, hiding behind an upside down book or something

Has definitely dropped books on his head after charming them down from the shelf. Your voice just sucks all his concentration up. You get bonus points for checking on him because some of those books are HELLA HEAVY

Say the right thing during a quiet tea session and you might hear him choke

Has probably been outed by one of his friends. Satan always seems to make friends without trying and gets invited to tons of stuff. What didn’t seem like a date turns out to DEFINITELY be a date (according to the friend).

Plan some silly treasure hunt/detective date and this guy is yours for life (especially if you’re the prize at the end).

Isn’t the most upfront about the disdain for his demon form, or how he feels weird about not being a true angel (just an extension of Lucifer), so expect a lot of raw, near-tears conversations in his demon form.

Hold him, run your fingers along the inside of his wings and the tips of his horns and Satan hugs you like there’s no tomorrow. He’ll cry, but he doesn’t regret these tears because they’re healing.

Weak for hand kisses. Smooch them hands.

Not super into PDA, but he’ll do other things to show he cares like carry your books and make sure you know what the weather’s like before you leave

Satan still hasn’t lived down the time Lucifer and the others broke down his door because they smelled blood and thought he’d hurt you. Turns out you guys were having sex and he just bit too hard.

Wouldn’t talk to any of them for a week. He swept you up on an impromptu hotel vacation and you continued to avoid everyone by shopping and eating at cafes.

The type to hold your panties hostage or like a trophy. Gives them back eventually, and enjoys watching Mammon almost have an aneurysm as he tries to figure out why his room smells so strongly of you.

Tea dates, cat cafe dates, and plenty of couple pictures with cat filters. Satan’s Devilgram activity goes up substantially when he’s dating.

You’re not his lock screen, but you’re his background. 

Asmo

When you two start dating Asmo is literally the happiest demon in all of Devildom. Yeah he’s smug and cute like ‘how could they NOT fall for beautiful me?’ but boy is literally so stoked. All of that babble’s just a cover for how sickeningly happy he is

Thinks the world of you.

Wants to spend all his free time with you, be it napping and cuddling, shopping, getting pampered, or just doing your nails.

Now that he has that real, true love he doesn’t want to be without you.

You trend on Devilgram at least once

SO MANY PICTURES

Took you shopping for perfumes and has the tester strip you used to pick your perfume taped to his vanity. Then he can smell it whenever he likes!

Gives you a small thing of his cologne for when you get lonely or want to smell like him

Boy is super, super extra. Probably has matching shirts that say he’s yours and you’re his.

The type to get couple’s pillows, cups, and pajamas. You also get couple’s massages.

If you wear lipstick, he’s definitely made you a custom one at some exclusive-invite Devilgram event. He put your initials on the base of the tube and thinks it’s the cutest damn thing. His pride and joy--it’s basically a child.

There’s no shame in the bedroom with this one. I really doubt he’d have awkward moments because he has a lot of experience and has run into a lot of things that he’s handled one way or another. It’s gentle coaching and some sweet teasing.

The most embarrassing thing he’s ever done is probably moaned/whined at the wrong time. Or said something semi-naughty at a bad time. He’s not easily shamed so that doesn’t really matter, either.

He melts at the gentlest touches and will be SO dramatic about it, like half fainted into his bed.

Is easily hypnotized by jewelry. He’ll massage your ears if you have earrings in, cooing over them and wanting to look at them. If he’s laying on you and you’re wearing a necklace, he plays with it the whole time.

Beel

Smart but distractable. Beel’s love language revolves around protection and food so pack him a lunch for practice or bring him something from a town date with one of the bros and he’s super excited

He means well but forgets his own strength so there’s a lot that can go wrong in the bedroom

Has probably broken his bed several times

Had sex on the kitchen counter and the bros only found out because one of them was setting up dinner prep and one of the legs just gave out

Big, snuggly bear. Best hugs.

Hardest to wake up because he tends to sleep well and easily. It’s a side effect of being connected to Belphie. Will hug you to him and keep snoring. You have to get someone else to wake him up because he’ll just snuggle you the more you move around and talk

I headcanon that Beel does a tongue thing like Levi, mostly because his cardinal sin is gluttony and that helps get the food in his mouth faster. It’s not as slender or serpentine as Levi’s, but it definitely moves.

Has licked you in his sleep as an affectionate thing.

Loves to snuggle into your hair when he sleeps.

Bite mark king. He’s so affectionate and earnest when he makes love that he just ends up leaving all kinds of signs on you--mostly bite marks but when he’s conscious of leaving too many, they turn into hand prints.

Makes the purr sound when he’s inside of you. Purrs very easily.

Most of his awkward moments come from being oblivious. He’s the kind of guy you have to out-and-out tell you’re flirting with him, that you like him and want to date him.

Beel’s also very shy with flirting. He thinks you’ll just understand that he’s flirting when he shares food or wants to hug, or just anything. It can be missed because he’s generally chill and friendly.

Was royally embarrassed by Asmo (on accident) when he didn’t eat as much at dinner one night and you were ‘too tired’ to come down. Beel went to carry your food up and Asmo somehow found out he’d eaten you out right before. He was filled up on the human energy and you couldn’t walk to come down.

If you ride his face, grab his horns to hold on. It does something for him and his hands go crazy and he really eats.

Scratch his back and he’ll be your forever heater.

His PDA is carrying you because why not? It’s a workout AND you’re close. It makes him give that big, nice smile.

Belphie

The biggest issue is that he falls asleep on you all the time. He doesn’t mean to but he’s TIRED, okay?

Has a name for the cow pillow. Calls it ‘my moo.’ You are one of seven people that know that. Apparently it’s been a thing since he was little.

Has accidentally called you ‘my moo’ when he’s sleep delirious. It means you’re highly thought of. Beel used to be his moo, too, and now he’s been replaced.

This sloth will smother you. He’s like a koala that demands total contact to sleep

Gives you back rubs and massages. Sometimes he stays awake through them, sometimes you get sleepy and that makes him sleepy so he ends up falling asleep on your back.

Not big on PDA, but his version of caring for you is making sure you’re not bothered by annoying people. Wants you to sit with him at lunch though, and he’ll sulk if you don’t.

His favorite kind of dates are where you stockpile food and drink in the room and just feed each other while lounging in cozy blankets

If you make him any kind of pillow or blanket for a birthday, it’s at the top of his collection. Everyone will see it when they walk into his room.

You’ll plan dates in the star room where he just holds you and points out constellations until you fall asleep. Knows a lot of the mythology/stories behind them and shares that.

No matter the size, Belphie likes to cuddle between your boobs. He says it’s for your heartbeat and that they’re comfy like pillows. His tail wags like crazy when he does this.

Also big on physical contact due to his time in the attic. You just have to be alone.

Brush and play with his hair. That’s what he likes most.

Just hold this boy, okay? He needs it.

If you guys are trying to nap and the other brothers are being noisy, he’ll do the demon scream thing to tell them to shut the hell up. He’s an absolute angel to you though. You’re tired too, he knows.

If you get a little purple streak or something in your hair, he’s smitten.

Get him a kanigiri and the boy is super stoked. He’ll wear it all around the House of Lamentation. Bonus points if it has a hoodie or something he can throw up to annoy Lucifer.

Might get you a little stuffed cow toy so you have something to hug if you have to go away or can’t be with him.

The type to be restless if he can’t sleep with you. Will come to your room in the dead of night and ask to snuggle. It’s the only time he’s nice about it (and vulnerable), so say yes.

You get to be a human body pillow. He loves it very much.

[coaxionunlimited]

Moderately Rare Untamed/MDZS Fic Recs

For when you find fic from sorting by kudos, but you’ve got tag fatigue and you want to read something new. Or, hey, maybe you just want some MDZS fic recs. I’m not here to judge. * means it’s incomplete, for those of you that care.

Obligatory WangXian Category:

crack in the mirror by the_pretzel*: The premise of this one is that Wei Wuxian gets transported from the modern world into a mystery novel series, set in ancient China. But he’s in the body of a character that’s about to get married, and then murdered by his husband. So he breaks the engagement by starting a new one with Lan Wangji and then the first chapter ends. This one is a rollercoaster. WWX soon discovers that his character’s been keeping secrets, and he’s got to figure them out if he wants to get out of this alive. If there was a best drama award for fics, this one would get it. Every chapter has me on the edge of my seat in a different way, as WWX gets out of one mess only to find himself in a bigger one. And that doesn’t even touch on the romance - this is one of the ones where you can just about feel all the pining LWJ is doing, even though it’s WWX pov and he’s oblivious to all of it. Honestly, this fic is the reason this rec list exists.

set your old heart free series by words-writ-in-starlight: Do you like crying? I like crying. That’s why I’m recommending this series to you, so you can cry too! I’m putting this under WangXian, because it’s a story about Lan Wangji and you can’t really have LWJ without the pining, but the real core of the story is the family LWJ has built in Cloud Recesses. Lan Shizui and Lan Xichen, and eventually (because this series starts just after WWX dies - what, I did say I liked crying) Wei Wuxian joins in. There’s even a little Wen Ning! If you like having feelings and also any of the characters I’ve mentioned, like, at all, this series is worth checking out.

The Terminus of Gravity by sealdog: Every fandom needs a space opera au, and sealdog delivers. This is pretty much a strait transportation of the plot of canon to the future and also space, with a side of epistolary and Wen remnants family time, and I’ll stop there because I don’t really want to spoil it. I’m a huge sucker for melancholy and pining and also well written space operas, because even if the premise isn’t your game, it is well written, and it’s worth a read.

Tales from Bunny Mountain by telarna: Lan sect turns into bunnies because of an excess of yin ener- look, we get Lan Zhan as a bunny with bonus Lan Shizui as a bunny. Do you really care why? This is another one of those fics that’s in the WangXian section because if LWJ and WWX are in a fic together, some things just come naturally, but the real draw for me is- well, I’m not going to lie, most of the draw was LWJ as a bunny, but I stayed with the fic for Jin Ling. Good Jin Ling characterization and a lovely, mischievous WWX, who also happens to be a very good uncle. And we have Lan sect as bunnies. Terrible, troublesome bunnies. 11/10, a must read.

through a window softly by impossibletruths: Okay, finally, we finish off the WangXian section with a fic that is actually about WangXian, not just featuring it prominently. through a window softly is a college au where LWJ and WWX are two different types of music major and also neighbors. WWX plays flute and LWJ plays violin and sometimes they stand outside their apartments and play together and pine for the mystery person that’s playing music with them. Look, they fall in love through playing music together, I’ve been looking for a fic like this since WWX first pulled out his flute in canon. There’s misunderstandings and identity porn, if you need some excellent bonus reasons to click this one, and I enjoyed both of those immensely. But what I really, truly loved was WangXian and love and music, and the intersection of all three.

Nie Huaisang: gen edition. Because I have a favorite character and that’s your problem now.

Mistakes We Made by Rachel3*: Nie Huaisang travels back in time and decides to prevent his brother’s death. This is the Nie Huaisang fic for me. I love love love his characterization here. Rachel3 strikes the delicate balance between the sweet kid he once was and the mastermind he grows up to be, making him competent but not an OP genius and sympathetic but not, like, a very good person. The plot is complex and realistic, tackling the sort of complex struggles (both interpersonal and large scale) that time travel fics very rarely bother with. If you've ever been curious about NHS, if you’ve ever even wanted to know him slightly better, this is the fic for you.

The Lost Cause by KouriArashi: AU in which Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao work together to take down Jin Guangshan from the beginning. I recommended the last fic for good characterization. I can’t in good conscience say the same for this fic, but that’s kind of the point. If you’re tired of moderation and realism and just want someone to take the hammer and fix canon already, this is the story for you. It’s hilarious and cathartic, and manages to be totally lighthearted even though it’s 100% about murder and manipulation. 

say those words (it’s not forgotten) by paranoid_fridge: This is edging on too well known for this list, but hey! My recs, my rules. And this is an absolute must read for everyone ever. If you haven’t read it, you should, and if you have read it, you can probably stand to do it again. This is a story about Nie Huaisang’s birthday. It’s a slice of life story, and a character study, and a little bit of a feel good hurt comfort fic, and it does all of those things magnificently. The author tags every relationship in this fic except the one braincell trio, which is a shame because it really is a NHS & WWX & JC fic, and if you weren’t craving one of those then why are you in this fandom? Why are you on my reclist? 

SangCheng is my OTP and that is also your problem: 

best behavior by inberin: I might as well take this space to recommend the whole sangcheng revenge au (dancing ashes under the sun (will cast their shadow when the winds rise) by paranoid_fridge really is the fic for it, but it’s too well known to make this list). The premise is simple, Jiang Cheng lost his golden core, the Wens won, and Nie Huaisang is taking them down from the inside with JC as his right hand man. best behavior makes the list for JC and NHS trolling each other (my favorite part of any sangcheng fic), and the lovely angst of two teenagers who grew up much too fast. The writing style of this one is lovely and poetic, the imagery is on point, and the sangcheng chemistry is the best.

Of Trespassing and Table Slams by LiteralistSin: I’ve put a fluffy fic in every category so far, and it’s SangCheng’s turn. There’s not much plot to this one, just SangCheng trying to outmaneuver each other and NHS being a little shit, and JC getting to win for once. Oh, yeah, and NHS gets kissed on a table. Everything my SangCheng loving heart needs.

everything rynleaf has ever written:  I’m putting this one under sangcheng because rynleaf has three sangcheng fics, and I couldn’t pick just one. Really though, you should at least check out What Remains of Meng Yao too, if you like crying. The sangcheng fics all strike the lovely balance between sangcheng tension and trolling each other and really truly sincerely caring about each other beneath all of it. Rynleaf writes some of the sweetest Jiang Cheng you ever did see, even when you’re looking through NHS’ jaded eyes. NHS is great here too, in all his secrets and his magnificent bastardry, you can just feel the smug smile he’s got on in every scene.

our footsteps sing a reckless serenade by ThirtySixSaveFiles: Because I cannot believe this one has so few kudos. Seriously, it’s a 46,000 word long modern with magic au where Jiang Cheng and NHS have an arranged marriage and fall in love. And that’s not even getting into the intrigue and the secrets NHS is keeping, and the murder mystery- There’s a lot of reasons to love this fic, and you definitely want to read it and discover all of them.

[hobbitsetal]

HOBBS I wanna hear your opinions on the entertainment debate pls

Ahahahaha this brings me joy because @throwaninkpot said the same thing! Ask and you shall receive ;)

So. The entertainment debate. Is it sinful for Christians to consume media, particularly media that is not Christian, or indeed contains offensive content? Harry Potter is a popular target. Pokemon and Dungeons and Dragons had their day in the cross-hairs.

What I’ve seen floating around on Tumblr leapfrogs from “this media contains something I think is antithetical to Biblical teaching” to “THIS IS NOT 500% GOD ALL THE TIME SO IT IS SINNNNN.”

As a writer of poetry and fantasy, I cannot convey to you how immature I find this view. As a Christian raised with a healthy understanding of Christian liberty, I cannot convey to you how disgustingly legalistic this view is. But I am absolutely going to try, because this is important and I have seen beloved friends badgered and bullied into questioning harmless pastimes by these anti-gospel gatekeepers.

First and most key, I do not care what you’re watching, your salvation is not contingent on nor indicated by your media consumption. Your salvation is contingent on the love of God and indicated by Christ’s redemptive work and the work of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 10:9-10 outlines the requirement for salvation nicely: “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”

There ya go. If you’re watching Game of Thrones, that doesn’t revoke your Christian card. It doesn’t un-sacrifice Christ.

But mentioning Game of Thrones does beg the question, are there things Christians should not watch? I say yes, and Ephesians and Philippians say yes!

“Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

That’s a giant block of text, so let’s break it down a bit. Before we are saved, sin doesn’t bother us. Sexually explicit materials, foul language, violence, depravity of every kind--we might personally not love it, but there’s no deep-seated moral argument against it.

After we have been saved, the Holy Spirit convicts us and reveals to us through Scripture how God wants us to live. Sex is holy and should be treated as an important thing. Foul language doesn’t build others up, so we shouldn’t use it. Violence is not loving, so we should not be violent.

How does this relate to media?

I would argue that it relates differently for different people, but that the effect of the media you consume on your spiritual life and your relationships with others is your best gauge.

I knew a young man who was deeply affected by music, so he was careful to listen to Christian artists lest he be tempted into sin by immoral lyrics. I don’t have that problem. I can listen to a song and not think more deeply about it than whether it’s a fun beat.

What about books? I do need to be careful here. Some people can read books with suggestive content and skip past those scenes, without temptation or without their imaginations being led astray. I can’t. So I don’t read romance novels. I would not glorify God with this.

TV shows, art, and movies are all similar: how do they affect you personally? I stopped watching the Battlestar Galactica reboot because the language and sexual content convicted me. But I watched The Witcher with my husband--partly because I’m at a different stage in my life and what stumbled me as a single adult is no longer as problematic now that I’m married, and partly because the subtle pro-life themes and the themes of good and evil and objective right and wrong outweigh the objectionable content.

Romans 14, to me, speaks most clearly to this:

“One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.”

I would not watch certain movies with certain family members, but I would with others. This is not hypocrisy because I don’t pretend that I don’t watch those movies; I make a choice to respect my family’s consciences when they differ from mine.

Were some friends to express dismay that I play Dungeons and Dragons or read Harry Potter, I would explain to them why I’m comfortable with that media, but I wouldn’t shove it in their faces.

~~~

This is dreadfully long already, but I can’t just stop with explaining our liberty in Christ to enjoy media and art.

We are made in the image of God. God is the Great Artist, the Supreme Storyteller, the Maker of Music. We were made to create art, to tell stories, to make music! This is part of how we glorify God! This is what we will spend eternity doing! Do you think Tolkien has stopped writing because he’s in Heaven? or Lewis?

And what is the greatest joy of a creator but sharing? God created us to share Himself with us--not out of need, for He needs nothing, but out of joy and the fullness of His Divine nature! And we, who are needy and who are made to be social in reflection of the Trinity, how much more do we want to share and rejoice in sharing!

As a writer, I love having people read what I write. And conversely, I love hearing my friends’ music and seeing their art.

Those who consume media are taking their rightful place as Audience. Those who create media are taking their rightful place as Sub-Creator.

And those who claim that media is sinful are cramming God into a pitifully tiny box and trying to limit human experience to the blandest existence possible. God did not craft sunsets and constellations and the whole of human history for us to look at each other and say, “Better not enjoy this, it’s probably sinful.”

As Martin Luther allegedly said, “Beer is proof God loves us.”

Enjoy stories. It’s what God created us to do.

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 9: NO

Before doing anything else, I built a lottery house in the castle. The logistics of there being stores and gambling houses within my personal castle, that my soldiers work at, that don’t just give me whatever I want is kinda weird. The lottery gave me a radish I fed to Lilith.

Support: Hana/Subaki

C: Hana confronts Subaki about his tendency to refer to himself as perfect. He brushes it off, because he thinks that he genuinely is completely without fault. This angers Hana, who brings up a time Subaki fell off his horse and challenges him to a duel.

B: The duo begin their competition. Subaki, despite not actually having any sword skills, manages to defeat Hana by studying her fighting style over several months and messing with her head.

A: Hana takes the second round, beating Subaki in a horse race. Hana reveals that she doesn’t actually care about beating Subaki, just about serving Sakura, and the two decide to suspend their competition.

S: Subaki states that he hates when Hana brings up the time he fell off his horse because he embarrassed himself in front of Hana. Also the duo apparently love each other now.

Review: Decent set up, lackluster execution. I do like Hana’s feelings of inferiority in comparison to Subaki, and Subaki is wonderfully arrogant during this line, but the resolution comes from a revelation Hana had off screen and feels anti-climactic. I felt nothing during the marriage conversation.

Support: Hana/Sakura

C: Hana and Sakura discuss their childhood friendship and the fact that Hana has been protecting Sakura since even before she was a retainer. Sakura states that Hana’s stubbornness pairs nicely with her own introversion.

B: Hana reveals that Sakura’s kindness gave her a reason to dedicate herself to becoming a master samurai. Sakura reveals that she chose Hana as her retainer, in spite of her age and objections from others, because of...a reason explained in the next conversation. Gotta love cliffhangers.

A: Sakura chose Hana as her retainer because of all the times she protected her as a kid, so many times that Hana is covered in scars. Sakura feels guilty over Hana’s scars, but Hana brushes it off, stating that her scars are a badge of honor because they were earned protecting Sakura. Small character design note: Hana does not have any visible scars in this game. She does consistently have a scar in her arm in Heroes, and inconsistently has a scar on her left thigh, but neither of those scars are visible in game. Maybe the scars are hidden below her headband?

Review: First off, these two deserve an S-Rank conversation. They have more chemistry than most of the couples in this game. Setting that aside, I enjoy Hana and Sakura inspiring each other to be better. I love the idea of Hana protecting Sakura from feral dogs and Sakura repaying her by making her a retainer, going against royal officials to do so.

Support: Sakura/Subaki

C: Subaki yawns in front of Sakura then pretends it didn’t happen, because he is too perfect to get fatigued.

B: Subaki makes a tiny slip-up when filling out a form and has a complete meltdown, launching into a self-depreciating rant. Hana brings up that she’s seen him make mistakes before, which only makes things worse.

A: Sakura comforts Subaki and he reveals that his obsession with perfection stems from his childhood; his parents hammered in the idea that he must be perfect at all times as to not embarrass himself in front of royalty. He brings up the time he fell off his horse in front of Sakura right before she chose him as a retainer and reveals that he’s thought for years she chose him out of pity. Sakura comforts him, saying that he’s amazing and his slip-ups only make him more charming.

S: Subaki renews his vows as a retainer, promising to always fight for Sakura even if he cannot achieve total perfection. Sakura accepts, on the condition that Subaki marries her.

Review: I actually really enjoyed this one. The main gag with Subaki is that he’s arrogant and thinks of himself as perfect. This line deconstructs that, showing him fall apart at the idea that he isn’t good enough. It didn’t go fully into it, but this line suggests that Subaki may have some real mental health issues, possibly stemming from an abusive childhood. The romance isn’t perfect, but I do like the idea of Subaki ending up with Sakura because she helps him learn to accept himself. Also for all of Sakura’s supports I’m going to pretend that she isn’t like fourteen, because otherwise they’re all super creepy.

Support: Corrin/Sakura

C: Corrin asks if Sakura dislikes her and Sakura, who has never once visited any Fire Emblem or Smash Brothers forum, states that no one could ever dislike Corrin. Apparently, Sakura is awkward and shy around Corrin because she sucks at talking to people. Corrin offers to help her practice talking.

B: Corrin asks Sakura some basic questions and Sakura freezes up from anxiety and can’t answer anyone. Corrin theorizes that Sakura is easily intimidated by other people.

A: Sakura reveals that she’s always so anxious because she heard a rumor that Nohr actually wanted to kidnap her, not Nohr. This rumor was evidently false, because it makes absolutely no sense from a lore perspective. Also, I question the idea that this is the source of all of Sakura’s anxiety. Her anxiety around Corrin, maybe, but it’s odd that guilt over her sister’s kidnapping that she’s known for years wasn’t her fault would make her anxious around other people. I mean, it’s more pronounced around Corrin, but only in this support line. Whatever. Corrin swears to protect Sakura and I guess that means her anxiety is cured.

Review: This conversation is mediocre. Sakura getting anxiety because of something a maid said once is stupid, but Corrin trying to help her get over it is okay.

You’ll notice that I stopped this at the A rank. Well, you see, Corrin and Sakura only have three, conversations instead of four because, despite Corrin having a variable gender, Corrin and Sakura are siblings and Intelligent Systems would never include incest in a Fire Emblem game. They’d never do that because that would be terrible.

Wait. What’s that? Why does it say on the wiki that they have an S-Conversation? Surely this isn’t real.

Oh god it’s real.

No.

No no no.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

What the fuck, Intelligent Systems? Why did you include incestuous pedophilic marriage in your role-playing game? Seriously, what the actual fuck?

And, looking at Corrin’s support list, it’s not just Sakura. Every single Nohr and Hoshidan royal can date Corrin. I don’t know what’s worse, Corrin having sex with her stranger blood siblings or having sex with the people she thought were her blood siblings for years. Fine. Let’s just do the stupid conversation.

S: Sakura reveals that she’s been dreaming about the sibling she never knew for years, imagining what Corrin would grow up to be like. It’s actually a decent idea, albeit one hidden in the evil cursed S-Support that I hate. Corrin asks if they live up to expectations and Sakura states that they exceed them. Then Sakura says that she loves Corrin. Romantically. Corrin, being the sane person, objects, pointing out that they’re half-siblings. I don’t know where this half-sibling thing came from, as far as Corrin knows both of them are the children of Mikoto and Sumeragi. I mean, it is stated in Revelations that Mikoto isn’t actually the mother of anyone but Corrin, but Corrin doesn’t know that yet. Whatever. Sakura pulls out a letter from Mikoto that she only read a few minutes ago that says, psych! Corrin and Sakura aren’t actually related. At all. So it’s cool to bang. Corrin instantly gets over the whole “Don’t fuck your little sister” thing immediately and proposes to Sakura. What the actual fuck.

Review Continued: If ninety percent of the S-Rank conversation is convincing the audience that, no, this isn’t incest, you know it’s bad. And sure, it isn’t technically incest anymore, but who cares? Corrin and Sakura didn’t know that until ten seconds before they screwed each other. This is an incestuous marriage and it’s fucking gross. The writers clearly know it was gross, but they included it anyway.

And here’s the big problem with the Hoshidan sibling marriages: Birthright is built on the premise that this is Corrin’s real family, that Hoshido is her real home. It’s literally called Birthright. But if Corrin isn’t actually related to the Hoshidan Royals, all of that falls apart. They’re just strangers. The whole concept of the game doesn’t apply anymore. Because Intelligent Systems couldn’t release a game where the player insert doesn’t fuck literally every character. And, until we get to the point in Revelations where that is properly revealed, I’m going to pretend I don’t know it.

We got some new characters at the end of the last chapter, so let’s talk about them.

Silas

Silas is a cavalier who went turncloak for Corrin at the end of the last chapter because of a childhood friendship Corrin doesn’t remember. His personal skill makes him fight better when Corrin is injured. I’m starting to notice just how many of these skills specifically relate to Corrin, which makes sense but is still kinda weird. His design is fine, nothing objectionable there. I do think Silas’s forgotten childhood friend backstory is a bit odd, though. And I’m getting sick of characters who are obsessed with Corrin.

Saizo

Saizo is Kaze’s twin brother who looks like twenty years older than him. He’s the slower but tougher of the duo, judging from their stats. His personal skill Pyrotechnics is basically just him blowing shit up, which as far as I’m concerned is his solution to all problems. His mask is really weird looking, but at least he’s visually interesting. Personality wise, he seems like a dick, but in a good way. Our army needs some common sense and he brings it.

Orochi

Real talk: I forgot this character existed until she joined us. Orochi is a mage...er, diviner who has the personal skill Capture, which I’ll talk about later. Her design is decent; I like the sultry hair pulling in her portrait, it gives off a lot of personality. I don’t have much to say, I forgot she existed before the end of last chapter and have no clue what her personality will be.

Birthright Chapter 8: Fierce Winds

Team Corrin travels up the Eternal Staircase, a massive subterranean tunnel that leads to the Wind Tribe Village. Kaze notices that the group is being followed and a group of faceless pop out. Kaze and Corrin slaughter them with ease. Unfortunately, after the battle, the faceless turn into Wind Tribe civilians. Iago appears and explains that he disguised civilians as monsters using magic. He learned it from his favorite movie villain, the Joker from the Dark Knight, who Iago thinks is actually the good guy.

The gang reaches the Wind Tribe village. Corrin decides to just waltz in because sneaking past would be suspicious. Wind Tribe members attack. Not sure how they know about the whole slaughter thing. Maybe one of the fake faceless got away? Whatever.

Our three princesses apologize to the tribe members and they lead us to their chief, Fuga. Then the battle immediately begins. Guess negotiations didn’t go well.

Also here for some reason is Hinoka and her two retainers, Setsuna and Azama, both of whom are absolute morons. But, like, in a good way. Setsuna falls in quicksand, doesn’t care, and Azama immediately declares her dead. The fact that Hinoka has to basically babysit her two idiot bodyguards is amusing.

Setsuna

An Archer that works as Hinoka’s bodyguard. Her personal skill, Optimistic, makes her recover more when healed by a staff. A thing they do a lot in recent Fire Emblem games is to have characters that are based around specific gags or tropes. These are hit or miss, but Setsuna’s gag of constantly endangering herself and just not giving a shit sounds funny. The faced half-covered by hair initially makes her seem cool, but when paired with the dopey face and her personality it makes her look completely distracted. I like Setsuna, from what I’ve seen.

Azama

A monk who seems to be ridiculously optimistic and laid back. His personal skill, Divine Retribution, hurts opponents who attack him when he’s unarmed, which is a really cool idea. Azama doesn’t seem to be quite as funny as Setsuna, but still seems entertaining. I have mixed feelings on his design. I can’t tell if I like the closed eyes or not. The puffballs and wild hair are dumb though.

It’s worth noting that, because we move first, Corrin’s army attacks without provocation. Remember, they can’t see the red labels on enemies.

This map takes place in a desert. We can use the Dragon Veins to make it not a desert, which is good, because Fire Emblem deserts suck. Halfway through the battle, we finally talk to Fuga. He explains that we must earn the right to explain by killing all of his men. Bit of a dick move, chief.

We beat Fuga fairly easily. This chapter was fine, but just fine. Not bad, just unremarkable. Fuga explains that he was friends with Sumeragi and knows a lot about Yato. Apparently, us killing all of his men was a test to make us stronger so we can unlock Yato’s true power. Apparently, Yato can link something called the Sealed Flames and destroy the world. Neat.

Fuga accepts our explanation of the civilian murders. Which makes sense, it was kinda dumb. Actually, wait. Why did that have to be a plot point? Couldn’t this chapter just have been Fuga testing us?

Before we leave, Corrin and Azura discuss that there may be more blades like Yato out there. They don’t ask Fuga, because reasons. Also Fuga gives us his son. Neat.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Shakespearean mc here- what are your thoughts on the different plays? Specifically twelfth night and midsummers night dream since you mentioned characters from those plays plus Macbeth (I’m studying that one in school)

*Cracks knuckles and takes a long, deep breath.* 

Fam I have written entire essays about this for my courses. I have done presentations and powerpoints, not to mention monologues. I have filled journals. You know not what sort of floodgate that you’ve opened. The doorway to my dorkish heart. 

Twelfth Night is my favorite comedy and it was actually the first one I ever saw. The premise behind the show is a farce-like situation, it’s literally one big joke. Viola has a crush, so in order to woo him, she dresses up as a man and goes off to try and convince another woman to date him. Y’know, as you do. But then here’s the kicker - his crush falls in love with the male disguise! I know it’s probably something we all just kind of accept as normal Shakespearian humor at this point, but you must understand how hard Tiny Brandon was laughing when he first saw this, especially since Olivia was played by a friend of mine. (Well I say “friend,” she was a drama coach, but I considered her a friend, so there.) Viola holds a special place in my heart, for being the first protagonist I saw, and I friggin love how she puts it all together immediately and her reaction is just, “I wonder how badly this will all go wrong by the end. Welp! No turning back now!” She’s literally such a mood, and I’m so glad to see her reunited with Sebastion by the end. Speaking of him, I like how he just kind of stumbles upon the plot and passively accepts it. Oliva throws herself at him, and he just accepts. I’ve seen this played multiple ways. In the first production I saw, the guy was bewildered and just kind of went along with it like “Uh...okay?” But later on, I saw a version where my good friend was playing him, and he made me laugh so hard, because he played it like “This total babe wants to marry me. I have no idea why or who she is, but she does NOT need to ask twice.” Also this has nothing to do with anything, but between Oliva falling for “Sezario” and Orsino continuing to treat Viola as a man until they’re married...yeah, this play had characters who were LBGT and didn’t know it. Them’s just the facts. Anyway, I love this little squad, I’d watch a sitcom about them for sure. Oh who am I kidding, the real comedy of this show, the elephant in the room...is Malvolio, and his whole storyline. What a role, and I want it. I wish to play Malvolio before I die. I wish to see fanfiction about him getting revenge on the whole pack of them. I cannot read the cross-gartered scene without laughing. He’s...he’s Percy. He’s literally Percy, right down to how he’s the punch line of the joke, and it’s treated as okay because he’s just that annoying...but y’know I don’t really mind? Like sure, he was wronged. He was most notoriously abused. But it was funny! 

Midsummers is a show that I basically know by the back of my hand by now. It’s one of the classics, it’s like Romeo and Juliet in the sense that it’s one of the shows that everyone had heard of, everyone knows on a basic level even if they hate Shakespare or know little to nothing about his work. And I used to joke that this show was following me. Because everyone was putting it on, and no matter where I went, what company I worked with...inevitably, that show would crop up. If I had any dancing ability or movement training that I hadn’t all but forgotten by now, I would love to play Puck. The ultimate trickster, the ultimate troll. He’s the best. Another classic and cliche plot of course, but that’s because it’s iconic at this point. Like a blend between a soap opera and a farce this time, everything that happens between the four humans in the woods. I love how it’s just canon that Hermia is short, and angry about this. I like how Lysander is kinda witty, “You have her father’s love, Demetrius. Would you marry him?” and y’know, he’s not a bad guy. He does try to get into Hermia’s pants before the wedding, but he backs down when she says no. Demetrius though? He’s a dirtbag. I mean, he’s not as bad as Proteus from Two Gents...but like...are we just never gonna talk about how his love for Helena was artificially induced...and that’s the happy ending? And none of the humans will ever know it? Oh well. There’s also the rivalry between Oberon and Titania, and I always love watching them onstage. They really feel like two deities waging a war, or “playing a game” with each other, with mortals caught in the crosshairs. I believe this romance, I ship it. Titania is a character that I always have high standards for. I expect an amazing performance from her, especially after seeing what my friend Chrissy put in the role. (I doubt you will ever see this, Chrissy, but if you do - shoutout!) Then there's the whole subplot about Pyramus and Thisbe. It’s a little awkward that the production is put on after the whole resolution with the four humans, but I guess it makes sense in-universe. And who cares - it’s always, always the funniest part of that whole show. I look forward to it every time. “This dog. My dog.” 

Don’t get me started on Macbeth. This is my favorite Tragedy and probably my favorite Shakespeare show overall. But it’s not just a Tragedy, it’s a Horror, the very best kind of Horror. A story where the audience is betrayed. The hero that was talked up, named in the show’s title, and introduced as a good man...he does a terrible thing, and it all spirals from there. Leaving the audience stranded, unsure if they’re supposed to still root for him. Not to mention how well this play dives into the psychology of murder. How it changes a person forever, once they’ve done something like that and have to live with it. Macbeth was an ordinary man. He didn’t want to kill Duncan for any personal reason or grudge, it was just because of the obvious reason: Power. He wanted the throne. Sure, every man wants to be king, but once the Witches made it seen attainable, once Lady Macbeth painted that picture in his mind...he made his choice. And it’s so important that he’s ordinary because anyone could fall into that kind of trap. Not to get dark for a second but like...a lot of us have people in our lives who we would probably be better off if they weren’t around. And we probably have at least one person who we could kill and probably get away with it. The monster in the back of the human mind. That is what Macbeth is all about. I know the “Out, damn spot” scene is iconic, but it really demonstrates how different people would respond to trauma in different ways. Then there’s Banquo, who basically figures out the truth but can do nothing about it other than wait for Macbeth to realize he’s a loose end. The mystery of the “third” murderer...and I’ve written essays about who that might have been, too. The hubris of Macbeth not to realize how the witches words could be twisted. I also grew so, so attached to Macduff. The poor guy lost everything, and he was the one who spearheaded the rebellion, and ultimately killed Macbeth. Reading it as a kid, not understanding the line of succession, I remember being so annoyed that he wasn’t made King at the end, because he totally deserved it. Also, as someone else who was, “from my mother’s womb, untimely ripped” I consider Macduff a kindred spirit. 

[starring-movies]

Killing Eve: Episode Analysis

*SPOILERS*

Season 3, Episode 1 - Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey

The first episode of Season 3 begins about 6 months after the events in Rome, from the end of the last season, and starts with Villanelle getting married to a woman named Maria - now Villanelle doesn’t have a job, she needs a way to support herself financially so she does this via Maria.

During her wedding speech, Villanelle refers to Eve as “my ex”. In S2E1 when she was speaking to Gabriel in the hospital, she also referred to Eve as “my girlfriend”. Both of these instances show us how Villanelle has considered that she and Eve were in a ‘relationship’ of some sort for all this time.

When Villanelle finds that Dasha has turned up to her “special day”, the same shots are repeated from S2E3. Villanelle runs up to Dasha and then tackles her to the ground, which is shot in the same way as when Villanelle runs up to Konstantin and then hugs him in S2E3. The choice to repeat the same shots is implemented to emphasise the difference in Villanelle’s relationship with Konstantin and Dasha (both people who had a big impact on Villanele while she was growing up) - after being separated from Konstantin, Villanelle fondly hugs him; but after being apart from Dasha for so long, Villanelle feels nothing but anger towards her.

When Villanelle is reunited with Dasha, after Dasha crashed Villanelle’s wedding, she keeps calling Villanelle “Oksana” and so Villanelle tells her “you call me, Villanelle”. This is small but clever little detail. Through just this act of Dasha calling Villanelle the wrong name, we are told that Dasha, like Anna, (who also calls her Oksana) is obviously someone who Villanelle knew a long time ago in her past, before she adopted the name ‘Villanelle’.

We are then reintroduced to Eve, who is doing her shopping in a Korean supermarket in New Malden, London. Not only is Eve buying junk food to stress eat, like she did with the sweets in S2E1, but the convenience food also has a deeper significance. When Eve was with Niko he was always the one who cooked, but now that they’ve separated, Eve doesn’t have anyone to cook for her, so she has to buy things like instant noodles because her lifestyle has changed.

While Eve is paying for her groceries, the woman at the checkout of the Korean supermarket is having a conversation with her friend, where she says “nothing says Romance like Rome” and that she wants to eat “spaghetti” the whole time she’s there. “Spaghetti” is what Eve told Villanelle she’d like her to cook for dinner in S2E8, and the comment that “nothing says Romance like Rome” could have been true for Villanelle and Eve, but for them Rome means tragedy and heartbreak instead.

We also find out that Eve has taken a job in a Korean restaurant. She’s decided to recoil back into the comfort of her culture, where people speak her mother language and eat food that she’s familiar with (and probably associates with home and family). In the restaurant her job is making the dumplings, which is a repetitive, mindless task, just like when we saw Eve chopping the vegetables for the roast chicken in S2E1.

Eve copes with her trauma in the same way as she did in S2E1, after she shot Villanelle. Not only does she do the repetitive tasks, but she also watches “It’s Not Just Shopping”, which is a teleshopping programme, just like how she listened to Armando trying (and succeeding) to sell her some “really expensive windows”.

However, although she is coping with the two situations in the same way, there is also a big difference between the Eve we see in the beginning of Season 2, and the Eve we see in the beginning of Season 3. In Season 2 Eve allowed herself, and was eager, to be sucked back into chasing after Villanelle when Carolyn recruited her again; whereas in Season 3, Eve is stronger and has a certain defiance in her actions. In Season 3 Eve tells her boss she doesn’t want to work in the front of the restaurant, but wants to remain in the kitchen, even though that means less money and more work. Eve also tells Carolyn, when she comes to see her at the restaurant, that she has no interest in Villanelle and trying to find her again, and it is only to investigate Kenny’s death that she decides to return to working with her.

In the office of the boss of the Korean restaurant, a Korean programme where a man gets shot in the head by a woman in playing on the TV behind her. When Eve is on the bus, there is also someone reading a book called “Vixen’s Bite”, with a woman with a gun on the front cover - Eve cannot seem to escape being reminded of Villanelle and of being shot by her.

We are then reintroduced to Kenny, at his new job being an investigative journalist at the ‘Bitter Pill’. Kenny has a conversation with Bear, where he says “well, remind me not to rely on you for anything”; which turns out not to be true, as in S3E8 Bear is the one who finds out Konstantin came to visit Kenny on the day he died.

When Eve is at home, she sends a message to Kenny of a picture of a loo roll. This is a call back to S1E2 when Kenny shows Eve to the toilets at the Trafalgar Office and tells her “it’s best that you bring in your own [loo roll] or it just disappears, how many sheets do you need?”.

After receiving Eve’s message, Kenny goes over to Eve’s apartment and during their conversation he asks her “are you still in touch with, er...” (meaning Niko), and Eve immediately thought Kenny was referring to Villanelle. Eve’s trying to convince herself (and everyone else) that she’s over Villanelle, not interested in her and not thinking about her; but the fact that Eve immediately jumps to thinking that Kenny is referring to Villanelle, and not her husband, shows that this is definitely not the case.

In this scene, she is also wearing the grey T-shirt with birds on it that belonged to Niko, he is seen wearing it in S1E1. However, we only see Eve wearing it when she wants comfort; like after Bill’s death in S1E4, and now in this episode when she’s recovering from what happened to her in Rome.

Later on, when Eve goes to visit Niko at the psychiatric facility, she brings him a bag of fruit pastels, but tells him that she already “ate the green ones for you”. Although Eve probably did this as a caring gesture (since Eve ate them, it’s implied Niko doesn’t like the green ones), it emphasises how Niko still can’t manage to gain control over his own life. Niko wasn’t given the opportunity to try the “green ones” (he may have changed his mind and started to like them) or leave them in the bag himself, Eve had already made the executive decision for him and he wasn’t given the choice to eat the bag of sweets how he wanted to eat them.

Eve eating the green fruit pastels for Niko could also be an indication that this was something that she used to do for him when they were first married/more happily married. If you take this view, then it could be that Eve is trying to simulate how things were previously, or she is being presumptuous that Niko wants things to go back to how they were - but he goes to Poland without telling Eve, so we can see he wants a new start.

Whilst working in the Korean restaurant’s kitchen, there are two men working behind Eve, who’s conversation mirrors Eve’s relationship with Villanelle. One of the men initially says to the other man, “first it was infatuation, this is love”. This definitely reflects how Villanelle’s relationship with Eve was portrayed; it began as Villanelle’s obsession with Eve because she had hair like Anna, but by the end of Season 2 she claims that it has gone beyond “infatuation” and that she does truly love Eve. This was probably also true for Eve, also beginning as an “infatuation” in Villanelle because she is an assassin, but then developing into a deeper sense of love; but at the end of Season 2, Eve was not ready to come to terms with her feelings, and Villanelle hadn’t reached the point of realising what loving Eve really is.

The next time the two men are having a conversation, Eve interjects by telling the man “you’re not even crying because of her, you’re crying because... because you feel stupid, because you were stupid”. This is obviously how Eve feels about what happened with her and Villanelle - she’s not upset because of Villanelle necessarily, but more because she feels that she was stupid. The same thing most likely applies to Villanelle as well, she probably feels stupid for loving Eve, and admitting to loving Eve, when she thought that she was someone “special”.

You can read my previous Killing Eve posts here:-

First Introduction to Villanelle

First Introduction to Eve

S1, E1 - Nice Face

S1, E2 - I’ll Deal With Him Later

S1, E3 - Don’t I Know You?

S1, E4 - Sorry Baby

S1, E5 - I Have a Thing about Bathrooms

S1, E6 - Take Me to the Hole!

S1, E7 - I Don’t Want to Be Free

S1, E8 - God, I’m Tired

S2, E1 - Do You Know How to Dispose of a Body?

S2, E2 - Nice and Neat

S2, E3 - The Hungry Caterpillar

S2, E4 - Desperate Times

S2, E5 - Smell Ya Later

S2, E6 - I Hope You Like Missionary!

S2, E7 - Wide Awake

S2, E8 - You’re Mine

S3, E2 - Management Sucks

S3, E3 - Meetings Have Biscuits

S3, E4 - Still Got It

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 1]

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 2]

S3, E6 - End of Game

S3, E7 - Beautiful Monster

S3, E8 - Are You Leading or Am I? [Part 1]

——————————————————————————

[earnestly-endlessly]

Do you mind doing a list of your favourite modern AUs? A mix is powered and non-powered fics is okay :) TY!

I'm so sorry how late I am with this, but here’s my looooong list of my favourite modern AUs. I hope that you like this list and can find some fics in there that you haven’t read before. Enjoy!

*******

Cherik Modern AU Fic Recs 

Sprich Mit Mir | Talk To Me – dreamweavers

Summary: When Charles meets Erik on a midnight train to London, it’s like all of his Christmases and birthdays have come at once – until Erik opens his mouth, and reveals he cannot speak a word of English.

It isn’t easy to pursue a relationship with someone you need to play Pictionary with just to chat to, but with a little help from Charles’ telepathy, the two language-barrier lovers are determined to make it work.

Come as you are – scarlettblush

Summary: Hospital AU. The one where Charles unknowingly woos a coma patient with Pride and Prejudice. Years later, they meet again.

The Man on the Train – Sophia_Bee

Summary: Charles is heading home from a shift at the busy emergency department of the urban hospital where he works as a nurse. He meets Dr. Erik Lehnsherr on the train, who is clearly interested in Charles, but Charles has a rule. He does not date doctors. Not at all. Never, ever ever. But he does shake his ass at Erik, which might be his downfall.

Eyes on Fire – Black_Betty

Summary: Every once in a while, fashion tycoon Emma Frost invites her favourite male models over to entertain her. And by "entertain", I mean she makes them have kinky consensual sex in front of her....Emma never touches herself when she watches, but she always has a glass of wine with her. Emma likes it best when they eventually forget that she's watching.

Charles and Erik meet each other through Emma...

(I've taken some liberties with the prompt, but all the sex is still there, and it's wholly consensual...and gradually, becomes more than just sex...)

Paper Monsters – Clocks

Summary: Fill for this prompt: Charles meets Erik Lehnsherr, his favorite novelist of all time at a coffee shop, but doesn't know it's him, and Erik just criticizes his own writing in front of his biggest fan.

Order Up - ikeracity

Summary: Charles has a terrible habit of multitasking, and that is probably why he absentmindedly tells the pizza man that he loves him when hanging up. Then the pizza man says it back. And Charles is pretty much smitten from there.

Some Things Are Meant To Be – Ikeracity

Summary: Erik is a famous singer. Charles is a closeted fan. When Raven drags him to Erik's concert, the last thing Charles expects is for Erik to single him out of the crowd, for Erik to look right at him as he sings. And the last, last thing he expects is for Erik to personally serenade him and pull him on stage and kiss him senseless, because some things are meant to be and Erik knows it.

Rumor Mill – Ikeracity

Summary: Erik is the grumpiest, most foul tempered worker at Stark industries. His grumpiness is the stuff of legends. So it's obviously the talk of the office when Erik is being made to go to the company party and he's bringing his husband. There's rumors flying round about how much of a masochist or equally antisocial bastard Erik's husband must be to put up with him. Others think he must be a meek mouse perhaps bullied by Erik.

What they weren't expecting was the confident, charming, adorable and unbelievably nice Charles that turns up on Erik's arm. What they certainly weren't expecting was how much Erik obviously adores his husband and how happy he is to let others see this.

Serendipity – humanveil

Summary: Charles sends a text to the wrong number.

[10:22 AM]

Can we meet for coffee? I just got dumped.

[10:30 AM]

I think you've got the wrong number.

[10:31 AM]

Unless you make a habit of texting people you don't know about this sort of thing?

A Nice Boy (The Family Matters Edition) – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik's not sure whether the problem is that he doesn't want his parents to meet Charles or that he doesn't want Charles to meet his parents. Either way, he never invites Charles to brunch. Why should he? It's not like they're dating.

Frosted Hearts – aesc, palalife

Summary: Emma Frost has 99 problems, but a date ain't one. Specifically, she has no time to play the dating game--which is fine with her, because she'd much rather run it instead. From a set of sleek, silver and white offices on Fifth Avenue and with her trusty, stylish, and silent partner Janos Quested, Emma has built Frosted Hearts into New York City's premiere dating service, built on the principle that money, and a sufficiently rigorous psionic scan, can, in fact, buy you love.

Somewhere in Frosted Hearts's server is one Charles Xavier, genius and geneticist, with the kind of nicely-starched good looks that sell well on brochures for New England prep schools. He's also a telepath who's decided to give up pursuing serious relationships and instead spend his thirties doing what he should have done as a teenager: have a lot of sex with random people. Fortunately for him, Erik Lehnsherr, metallokinetic and engineering executive, has absolutely no time in his heart or his schedule for anything more serious than... well, absolutely nothing romantic at all.

Work/Life Balance – pocky_slash

Summary: As teens, Charles was the star of a super popular tween/teen television show and Erik was his best friend. As adults, they're a frighteningly domestic married couple and Alex, Darwin, and Sean are Erik's nosy co-workers.

Impulse Decisions – listerinezero

Summary: Erik wakes up in Las Vegas with a hell of a hangover, a telepath in his bed, and a ring on his finger. Now what?

Fools Rush In – LoveSupreme

Summary: Erik owns a cafe on the edge of campus and accidentally starts maybe-stalking a Biology Professor there.

The Proper Care of Actors – afrocurl, Clear_Liqueur, Clocks, Etherei

Summary: Erik is an A-list action star who is notoriously difficult to work with, until the day he gets cast alongside Charles Xavier, rom-com darling who can charm the pants off movie audiences the world over and apparently even one Erik Lehnsherr. The paparazzi catch them out and about soon enough, and their real-life Hollywood movie romance becomes instant tabloid fodder.

In the Bleak Midwinter – keire_ke

Summary: It is not easy to find out, well into the second decade of the twenty-first century, that your mother arranged a marriage for you. It is even less easy to convince her that you have no interest in the very fertile Magda, she of the wide hips and lustrous auburn hair. Fortunately, with a good friend at his side over the holiday weekend, Erik is sure he will prevail.

Curve Fitting – kianspo

Summary: The weird thing is, Charles always introduces Raven as his sister, but he never calls Erik his brother. Erik would be bothered, except he prefers not to think of Charles as his brother, either. He can’t figure it out for four years, and then suddenly he can.

Or. A non-powered AU in which Sharon Xavier never remarries, and Charles 'adopts' not only Raven, but Erik too.

Right Person, Wrong Time – PoppyX

Summary: "TL;DR Charles is an insecure high school student who loses his virginity to the right person at the wrong time, and Erik makes it up to him in a romantic manner."

Favorite Mistake by endingthemes

Summary: Charles Xavier doesn’t think anything of it when he sneaks out without even saying goodbye to his latest one-night stand. What he doesn’t expect is to walk into his new position in the Xavier Industries marketing department and find that his latest hook-up is now his new boss.

I ♥ NY (It’s My Friends I’m Not Sure Of) by oddegg

Summary: For a 1stclass-kink meme promp: Erik is a single, successful man who likes quick sex with no strings attached. Then, he meets college professor Charles and it's love at first sight, at least for him. Charles, who heard of Erik's notorious ways, wants nothing to do with him besides being friends. Cue Erik bending over backwards to steal Charles' heart.

From Westminster With Love - thehoyden

Summary: NATO intelligence says there’s an omega-class telepath who sleeps under Westminster. Major Erik Lehnsherr is about to find out the truth for himself.

Accidentally Welcome to the Rest of Your Lives by kianspo

Summary: Non-powered college AU. Erik and Charles have nothing in common until they end up having sex at someone's party. They don't have much in common after that, either, but find each other a hard habit to quit.

irreconcilable differences (make for surprisingly good bedfellows) – pocky_slash

Summary: Tonight on The Evening Report with Malcolm Stevens, noted geneticist and mutant equality proponent Dr. Charles Xavier faces off with the infamous mutant rights activist Magneto in a live televised debate over the Genetic Nondiscrimination Act.

(At least, if they can stop flirting long enough to stay on topic.)

Mutually Beneficial Transaction – Pookaseraph

Summary: In his sophomore year at Columbia University, Erik, feeling slowly strangled by his mounting college debt, places an add on a sugar daddies website. He doesn't know exactly what to expect from it, but when he's contacted by a man named Charles who seems less creepy than the other people who have responded to his profile, he decides to give it a shot. Charles is nothing like what he expected, and Erik finds himself slowly falling in love with his sugar daddy while trying to find out exactly what caused this amazing guy to buy his emotional and sexual intimacy when he clearly deserves so much more than that.

Made To Be Broken - Yahtzee

Summary: Charles makes a New Year's Resolution: “No more straight men,” Charles repeated as he began scrolling through the apartment directory for Emma’s name. “No more futility. No more pointless hoping and heartbreak. In 2013, I never want to hear the words ‘exception,’ ‘experimenting’ or ‘phase.’ If, God forbid, I hear ‘bicurious’ even once, I may take a hostage.”

Then he goes into the party, and Erik is there.

Anarchy In The U.K. – Yahtzee

Summary: "Good God, Erik thought. The Prince of Wales is gay."

Charles lives in the unceasing glare of the public spotlight, yet keeps his sexual orientation a closely held secret, afraid he could lose his throne and force his deeply troubled younger sister into a role that would crush her. Erik, journalist and world traveler, has been a loner most of his life; he has little patience for closet cases. But a chance meeting in Kenya brings these two opposites together and sets in motion a love affair that will challenge the British monarchy -- and their most deeply held beliefs about who they are, and who they should be.

An Ideal Grace – afrocurl

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a visiting professor at Columbia University, as well as an acclaimed and award winning poet. Charles Xavier is a lead researcher with the Genetics Department who is well on his way to tenure. But what happens when Charles has to cancel a class because half his students abandon him in favour of a mysterious new English Lit professor? Naturally he ends up sitting in in the class, where Professor Lehnsherr mistakes him for a student. It's really too bad Erik has such a strict policy against dating students. It's also too bad Erik doesn't seem to know how to use Google.

An absence which could not be more there – aesc

Summary: He prepared to shift another half-step over to the Current Events section (which would, of course, enrage him) when the teaser positioned by the model's left elbow caught his eye: DATING WHILE TELEPATHIC: WHY I DON'T DO IT.

rooms/shares – pocky_slash

Summary: Erik is single, working a cube job he hates, letting his master's degree in mutant studies collect dust, and living on his best friend's couch. When she kicks him out, he's forced to trawl Craigslist for the least-offensive rooming option within his meagre budget. He never expects a response from the persnickety, high maintenance ad he replies to as a joke, but it's possible this too-nice apartment and mysteriously absent roommate might be the answer to all four of his problems.

Heli Cases –Black_Betty

Summary: "Heli Cases" is a program on PBS whose aim is to educate on the rapidly increasing occurrence of genetic mutation in the general populous by breaking the complex science down into palatable, easy to digest pieces.

It is also the only thing that helps Erik get his fussy daughter to fall asleep.

(Featuring Dadneto, baby Lorna and the struggles of single fatherhood, and Charles as the host of a late night show about genetics.)

Simple and Uncomplicated – Pookaseraph

Summary: Erik and Charles had been fuck buddies for some, but when Charles is in an accident he figured their relationship would be over. Erik's visit to his bedside in the hospital changes his assumptions even as he has trouble believing Erik is sincere.

Guilty by Association – Regann

Summary: While investigating the homicide of a John Doe who he suspects might've been murdered while working the streets as a prostitute, Detective Erik Lehnsherr finds an unexpected ally in a hooker named Charles who seems as determined as he to solve the case. As they become more deeply involved both with the case and each other, there's just one thing that Charles neglects to mention -- that he's really an investigative journalist, one quickly convinced that what they're dealing with is more than simple murder. cop!Erik, fake-hooker-slash-reporter!Charles, Modern AU.

This Is Not Comedy – baehj2915

Summary: Written for amarriageoftrueminds' prompt for a Cherik version of Louis CK's tangent about the fuckability of Ewan McGregor.

Naturally the similarities end there. I made this about Erik's full on public lust-filled gay revelation, and the chaos that spirals from there.

Politico – cygnaut

Summary: Modern Genosha Politics AU. In which Erik is l'enfant terrible of the mutant National Assembly, and his staff just wants to get him laid.

Conspiracy of Kisses –  Alaceron

Summary: Seven-year-old Erik needs to keep his telepathic best friend Charles from finding out that he wants to kiss him. But that's okay, because he has a plan - he'll put on a tinfoil hat.

The Pretender – Clocks

Summary: Charles is sick of having his best friend Erik drop to one knee and fake-propose to him in restaurants, just to score a free dessert. He doesn’t know which is worse: the complete embarrassment, or the likelihood that Erik doesn’t mean a word of it.

Bound – FuryRed

Summary: Is there anything worse than someone else’s wedding? Well, perhaps your sister’s wedding- where the groom just has to invite his boss and that man just happens to be your ex-boyfriend; a person you had an extremely passionate and tumultuous relationship with that ended badly.

Charles hadn’t seen Erik for a year by the time Raven had told him about the wedding. He wasn’t looking forward to the occasion, particularly when Raven explained that they would be celebrating the event with a two-week extravaganza at a luxury hotel, meaning that Charles would be forced to spend a whole fortnight with the man who he’d given everything to; the man who had ultimately broken his heart…

Lonesome On the Shelf – ikeracity

Summary: After three years of marriage, Charles has to admit that his relationship with Erik has significantly cooled off. These days, they're barely ever home at the same time and it seems like every conversation they have turns into an argument. Charles misses the way they used to be, misses the spontaneous dinner parties and the surprise morning sex and the wake up calls in the early mornings to catch the sunrise. But it's going to take two of them to fix this marriage, and some days, it seems as if all Erik wants is to be rid of him.

A fic about rekindling marriage.

Math Reasons – pearl_o, pocky_slash

Summary: "Mom says Erik always knows what he wants, it just sometimes takes him a little while to actually realize it," Ruth said.

Charles fell in love with Erik the first night they met, the first week of freshman year. Two years of friendship, adventures, arguments, hijinks, secrets, and summer visits later, Erik is starting to catch up.

Melted Ice Cream and Macaroni Art – pocky_slash

Summary: Everybody likes Charles. Nobody likes Erik. And that's really the source of Erik's doubts. Also, there's ice cream and a baby.

Watch Your Back – swoopswoop

Summary: Bodyguard AU where Erik is overly protective and things aren't as simple as they seem.

Dress Your Family in Plaid and Skinny Jeans – cygnaut

Summary: Erik and Charles meet at the mutant playgroup/parenting support circle and they instantly hit it off. And so do their kids, Lorna and David.

Continue firm and constant – aesc

Summary: Moira hasn't seen her old partner in saving the world from threats human and intergalactic, Erik Lehnsherr, for a few years. When she finally does see him again, she finds a man different from the one who's been with her down in the dark and the dirt and the blood... or maybe he isn't so different after all.

cradles you and connects you to everything – pocky_slash

Summary: Charles and Erik spend a chilly November afternoon in Manhattan doing not much at all. Also, there are cupcakes, chess, and Feelings.

[yeoldontknow]

Balls Deep | M+

Author’s Note: this work is entirely an act of fiction. if features subjects which may be triggering or uncomfortable to read, including but not limited to non-traditional and indecent sexual acts. i do not advocate or condone the use of this location for this purpose. please take the warnings seriously before continuing. | chanyeol’s pseudonym comes from Darcy Argue, a jazz composer/conductor Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader (oc; female) Genre: smut; public sex; alternate universe; married partnership; romance Summary: While taking your class to lunch during a field trip, your husband suggests an indecent and amoral misuse of the McDonald’s playplace. Rating: NC-17 Warnings: explicit sex; public sex; indecent use of a playplace; graphic sexual acts within a playplace; explicit language; dominating themes; light gagging; spanking; fingering (female receiving); unprotected sex; mentions of cumplay; dirty talk; creampie **please take these warnings seriously and do not read if you are uncomfortable Word Count: 10K

Standing to the side of the eating area in Chicago’s largest McDonald’s, you cautiously eye the group of twenty first graders charged under your wing. They’ve scattered, as children are wont to do, spread throughout the restaurant floor, some eating, some chattering, and many playing. Looking at your watch, you see there’s still thirty minutes left to the scheduled lunch time, and let your gaze shift to the bus driver who eats alone, headphones tucked into her ears, enjoying her brief moment of peace.

This is not the first field trip you’ve chaperoned, however it is the first you’ve managed on your own, an undercurrent of pride making your chest swell. And it is this, perhaps, that exacerbates your anxiety considering there is something terribly, terribly wrong with this journey.

A hand slips beneath the waistband of your trousers, cupping your ass with strong, confident fingers, arm discreetly hidden under your coat and ensuring no one can see. The hand in question belongs to the only person allowed to challenge you like this, in public, at work; your husband, the man who understands you are always wanting him - especially when confronted with risk, and especially when you absolutely should not be wanting him at all.

The hand, to be frank, doesn’t even belong on the field trip. And so, this hand is a problem.

‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ you mutter through pursed lips. ‘I could get in so much trouble for this.’ Keeping a smile plastered to your face for the sake of the children, your eyes glaze slightly as you peer across the room, looking without seeing, putting in effort to avoid looking at the exquisite body attached to the hand., even though your vision craves to be flooded with nothing but him.

‘You know deep down you’re ecstatic I’m here,’ Chanyeol singsongs sweetly, casting a coy glance at your profile.

In your peripheral, you watch him smile, wide and long and so breathtakingly charming, and feel yourself blush, cheeks flooding with warmth. You hate that he controls the blood beneath your skin, even after all this time, and even from the moment you first saw him. 

‘Yes, of course I’m happy,’ you sigh, turning to meet Chanyeol’s heated stare. ‘It’s just that you actually don’t have permission to be here and, oh hey, your hand is down my pants. And while I do want this, -’ Chanyeol squeezes the plump flesh of your ass cheek, smirking as you fall slightly forward, eyes fluttering with a quiet inhale. 

Regaining your composure, you blink. ‘I’m not sure my students want to see the more private side of their teacher’s life.’

Momentarily believing you won the argument, you let yourself drown in Chanyeol’s eyes, luxuriating in the affection and adoration you find. Even behind his play, there’s an air of gentleness, one that wins over his irises, and lets your heart rate settle, readying for his hand to leave your skin.

But then, his lips into a wolfish grin, wide and impish and utterly feral, and all at once his sweetness dissipates.

‘Should I call you Miss Y/N, then?’ he beams, gifting your ass with another strong squeeze.

Stone faced, all your blood rushes to your toes, heart bottoming out in your cunt as adrenaline courses through your veins instead, betraying you. He knows you only like to be called Kitten in bed, and Miss when he's been particularly naughty.

‘You’re turning a field trip into a game of role play,' you mutter, words quick and voice low as you shake your head. 'This is exactly why you shouldn’t be here.’

‘That’s besides the point, bright star.’ Chanyeol moves closer, his shoulder nudging softly against yours and allowing the wind to carry his cologne through your open mouth, right onto your tongue. It drips, like honey, down your throat, warming everything it touches as you try to drink it down, realizing you are parched for him. ‘I’m right here, with you. Don’t I add a ray of sunshine to your otherwise bland day?’

Rolling your eyes, you try not to laugh. ‘I’m a little preoccupied, Chan. I’m working and - ohh, fuck what are you doing?’ 

You choke on a gasp as Chanyeol pushes his hand lower, deeper, sliding down through your underwear until his fingers toy gently with your folds, stroking idly with the barest of touches. You shiver, biting your lip to keep from making sound as your walls clench around nothing in anticipation. Mindlessly, your arm reaches for the tiled wall beside you, feeling the blood rush beneath your fingertips as your press against its coolness.

‘Just keep talking, baby,’ he whispers, voice low and full of gravel. He presses firmly against your slit with the flat of his hand, ensuring that his fingers do not slide in, teasing. ‘Stay calm. Don’t let anyone notice you, Miss Y/N.

There’s a hint of laughter in his voice, amusement and encouragement laced through the words, but your focus lands upon the weight and intention of his expression, the way he seems to burn before the long expanse of white snow just beyond the window, and all at once it hurts to breathe. Playfulness lives within the deep richness of his voice, but not in his eyes - heavy lidded and thick with desire. His tongue runs over his bottom lip, gaze cast downward at smooth expanse of your chest beneath your button up shirt. Chanyeol swallows thickly, brow furrowed with wanting, and he runs his index finger over your slit, lips twitching in a smile as he feels your wetness.

‘Chan,’ you whine, breathless as you struggle to find the right things to say. ‘I can’t think when you’re doing that, fuck me.’

Further excuses die on your lips, dissolving on contact with the heat of your tongue, your mouth, your skin, your lungs. It’s winter, winter in Chicago, and yet you are alight beside him, the thick wool of your coat suddenly too heavy for the temperature of his touch. Casting his eyes away from you and the dry, red part of your lips, his expression morphs into a smile of placid nonchalance as he slowly guides the tip of his middle finger into your core.

‘You don’t need to ask for it, baby,’ he teases, voice running over your skin, hot and heavy like melted chocolate.

Closing your eyes, you try to think of something, anything that is not his touch, his mouth, his hands, but come up empty. Attempting to maintain the slow, even pattern of your breath, you push your anticipation and craving for more aside, biting the inside of your cheek to keep your expression in check. 

‘Chan,’ you begin, gathering your strength. Opening your eyes, your vision is blurred, unfocused. ‘Not here. Are you really insinuating that you would fuck me? In a McDonald’s?’

He hums, a deep rumble of thunder that makes your bones quake as he bends to kiss against your ear. ‘I thought it was established a long time ago that I’d fuck you anywhere.’

'Jesus Christ,' you breathe, blood starting to feel like a live wire. ‘You really can’t say those things to me when I’m working.’

Chanyeol laughs quietly, a musical, erotic sound that cascades down your spine and spreads fire along your joints, forcing a rush of wetness to your core that builds exponentially, only to be swept and swirled by his finger. It’s a delicate touch, not nearly satisfying or deep enough to bring comfort or relief, purposely keeping you on edge and on the precipice of demanding more.

‘It’s just as…hard for me,’ he murmurs, lowering his lips to your earlobe. Tilting away momentarily, he pushes your hair over your shoulder with his free hand before placing a chaste kiss to the soft flesh. ‘I want you all the time; feels like I  can’t breathe if I’m not buried inside you.’ He swallows, the slow exhale through his nose raising gooseflesh on your arms as it travels down your neck. ‘One look at you, and I get hard on sight. I want my mouth full of you, your cunt full of me,' he finishes with a kiss, biting at the lobe before pulling away.

Skin wet and meeting his breathe in an alluring breeze, a chill rushes over you, eyelids fluttering as a whimper escapes your chest. He's got you exactly where he wants you, teetering on the edge of desire as you lean closer and closer to his side.

Pressing a final kiss just below your ear, Chanyeol turns away. ‘What’s that big plastic thing over there?’ he asks, pointing to the large play area in the adjoining room.

‘The play place?’ Your answer is nothing but air, a small exhale and a clipped enunciation which give away you are beginning to cave.

Sensing he's nearly won you over, he pushes his finger through your folds, up to the knuckle, and curls it, smirking as you cover your mouth to quietly release a moan. A chuckle reverberates within his chest, the baritone echo vibrating into your bones, as he offers a lingering kiss against your temple.

‘Let me fuck you in that.’

Raising your head to meet his gaze, you find the wild determination that has nestled at the corners of his lips. His cheeks are flushed, likely just as flushed as yours, breath coming heavily as his eyes cannot help but wander rather deliberately over your lips, having their fill of you. And still, his finger maintains its empty rhythm, promising more - something harder, something thicker, something deeper - and delivering none.

'Absolutely not,' you stammer, mind racing to formulate a coherent answer. 'That thing is crawling with germs.'

Chanyeol simply smiles, pushing his finger inside you to the hilt, slowly thrusting as he luxuriates in your wetness.

'Baby, you have a master's degree in education,' he counters, smirking as your head tips back to expose more of your neck. The heat of his breath washes over you, the fullness of his lips sucking at your exposed tendon. 'You can figure it out - lay down your coat, lay down my coat. Don't you have cleansing wipes with you?'

As long as you've known him, his voice has been your addiction, a sound that burrows into your blood and rearranges the chambers of your heart. You're alive with him, alive with the sound of him, and your thighs begin to ache - wanting and wanting to be wrapped around his, heels pressing into his back, feeling him, full of him. Breathless, your mind struggles to hold onto the words he says, caught up in the way he sounds, in the way he rolls through you, in the way he's yours, and only manage to truly comprehend the last things he says.

'Cleansing wipes?' Your voice stumbles over speech, awkward and saddened to follow the music he kissed into you. 'In my laptop bag, yeah. Why?'

You don't get it - rather, you cannot get it, all of your focus paid to the way his finger rocks into you, the knuckles of his other fingers meeting your folds with his teasing thrusts, and the frustrating of yearning for more fogs your mind. Images flash behind your eyes: you, riding him with your shirt open and his mouth at your breasts; you, on your back as the plastic melts into your spine, the thrust of his cock hitting deep enough for you think it could hurt if you were any less trusting; you, come running down your thighs and nipples reddened from his teeth.

And then, after seeing the ways he wants you and could have you, you finally understand.

'No!' you exclaim, eyes suddenly wide as you rear back to face him. 'Do you know how badly that will burn?”

Chanyeol simply blinks, expression unmoved. Dropping his voice an octave, his eyebrow twitches in an effort to remain utterly, unabashedly serious. 'Do you know how badly I want to fuck you?'

The words shoot straight to the hot center of your core, wetting your folds and letting his finger slide in deeper with ease. Body beginning to tremble with need, you watch as Chanyeol's focus bores into your soul, demanding and unwavering and craving, as redness spreads over his own neck. You've seen that flush countless times in your life, the beginnings of a fire that will blaze into you until you are spent and sweating; a fire that cannot be satiated, and you know he means it. When he flushes like this, he is only idly holding the remnants of his control, boxed in by a thirst that burns you both to ash.

That flush means he's been needing you since you left, since you woke up and made love sweetly - just once - and you left him, wanting you again and again, distraught and lonely and going hungry.

'Get me to the fucking play place,' you insist. 'Right now.'

A keening whine erupts from his throat, expression crumbling from one of pained concentration to one of adoration, passion, and longing. 'Happily.'

Chanyeol pulls his hand from your core slowly, taking his time so he does not hurt you, and ensuring you feel every movement of his hand. Hissing, your fingers ball into a fist against the tile and you keep your eyes on him, watching as he lifts his finger to his lips. Time seems to stand still as he runs the pad of his finger over his bottom lip, letting your juices create a glossy sheen over the plump flesh before he takes it into his mouth, eyes rolling slightly back as he drinks you off his skin.

'That's my goddess,' he says, tongue gliding over his lip to take the last of you down. 'Always so sweet for me.'

Transfixed by the movement of his mouth and tongue, you simply reach for his hand and guide him towards the play place, letting the wetness of his finger ground you in the moment. Coming to the entrance, you pause, Chanyeol bumping into you softly from the force of his eager steps, and watch as numerous children - some your students, some the children of other patrons - slide down into the ball-pit and eagerly crawl through the tubes at every level.

'I knew this was a terrible idea,' you mutter under your breath, gripping Chanyeol's hand tighter. Casing a narrowed gaze at your husband, you cock and eyebrow, expectant. 'How do you presume we get everyone out of there?'

Smirking, he rolls his eyes as he releases your hand. 'Are you or are you not an authority figure?'

Moving to the center of the room, Chanyeol claps his hands loudly several times, getting everyone's attention. 'Children!' he yells, not noticing the way some of the kids wince at his volume. 'Your teacher and I need to do a brief safety check of the play...thing. Go sit by the tables for 10 minutes while we check for....broken things and harmful objects.'

'Who are you, sir? A small seven year old from your class, Seo-Jun, comes to stand next to Chanyeol, tugging gently on the hem of his coat. He cranes his head upwards to see Chanyeol, seemingly unfazed by his height.

Painting a serene smile on his face, Chanyeol knees to meet the boy's eyes. 'I’m the music teacher, Mr. Argue,' Chanyeol explains, and you find yourself covering your mouth to stifle a laugh.

'But I’ve never seen you before,' Seo-Jun says, cocking his head to the side as he inspects Chanyeol's features, curious.

Without hesitation, Chanyeol places his hand on the boy's shoulder and turns him, rising to a stand. Then you obviously don’t come to class enough. Go sit. Safety first'

Seo-Jun hums as he walks away, considering Chanyeol and turning back to glance at him as he is joined by a friend, a smaller girl you recognize as Eun-Ha. She too casts brief looks at Chanyeol, lips pulled into a smile as she whispers to Seo-Jun skeptical of his presence. The rest of the children move without question, parents and other patrons herding their children away, eyes narrowed and wary of your presence.

Proud, Chanyeol returns to your side and takes your hand, leading you towards the entrance to the play place.

‘Excellent job, baby,' you praise with a giggle, 'But Seo-Jun is seven. He has no choice but to go to class with everyone else. They go together as a class at the same time every day.'

'I don’t know how this works,' Chanyeol huffs, though is fueled enough by his wanting that he does not pout. 'He’s sitting, isn’t he?'

Chuckling at his cheeky grin, you pause at a tubular entrance, studying the construct with a keen eye. There are three tubes that function as both an entrance and exit, a slide into a ball pit, a rope to climb, and a wall with foot straps that leads directly to a red square just below the center; within the construct, there is a ladder that leads into a further ball pit, and a tunnel that leads to a trampoline off to the side. The play place itself stretches upwards to the ceiling, and, while you are sure such physical tests of motor skills are easy to manage, as you scan the sizes of all the tubes you struggle to imagine how Chanyeol will fit inside with you.

'My love,' you begin, hearing Chanyeol release a noise of acknowledgement at your side. He steps closer, wanting to be as near as possible, mind racing as he formulates a strategy. 'How do you suppose you will fit inside this? That we will fit inside this?'

He shrugs, nonchalant. 'I’ve been practicing yoga lately. I’ve become quite the flexible man.'

'Brilliant,' you counter. 'So why don’t you just fuck yourself?' Turning to face him with a wide smile, you snort at his minutely scandalized expression, waiting for him to whine in distress.

Instead, he lets himself get close, as close as he was before, lips moving against your ear. 'Because,' he purrs, nose gently guiding your head to the side to make room for him, 'your cunt is the sweetest thing I’ve ever been inside. And nothing, and no one,' he continues, biting your earlobe gently enough to feel small pressure, 'will ever keep me from hearing you cry my name as you come.'

Your hand reaches for his arm, steadying yourself as your core clenches around nothing once more, nerves driven to the brink of desire. His arm wraps possessively around your waist, pulling you to his side, heart and mind aware of your faltering strength.

'Now,' he carries on, voice a little louder than he intends, propelled by his eagerness. 'I’ve thought about this. If I go in first and you follow after, there’s that big purple box up there.' Chanyeol points to a long rectangular box with a small window, high above the floor, in the center of the plastic fort. 'It’s big enough to fit two people. And besides, how else are parents supposed to get their kids, right? Adults are meant to fit in this for that reason alone.'

Considering his words for a few seconds, you find yourself agreeing with him. The rectangle is large enough to fit you both, and neither of you have ever been the type to back down from a challenge. Briefly, you recall the sweltering green plastic of a porta-loo at Lollapalooza, a 11AM fucking that could only happen when the porta-loo was clean and untouched. It put the sweat on your brow and neck, the smell of it lingering in your nostrils for hours, but the smile, and the satisfaction, lasted for days.

Running your hand through your hair, you sigh, regarding the play place with a sheepish smile. 'I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.'

Satisfied, with you and with himself, Chanyeol grabs your hand and squeezes it, a low exclamation of delight rolling through him as he gifts your cheek with a kiss. 'I shall never say you don’t love me.'

Your body tilts into his, pressing your cheek against his lips, luxuriating in the softness as your as flutter closed. He showers you in moments of affection like this always, hand reaching for yours and lips just as eager for a smooth expanse of your skin. Being parted, regardless of the length of time, hurts, blood and body addicted to one another, relieved only when you are close and savoring the contact.

He kisses your cheek three times like this, nose running along your cheekbone in ardor, breath catching in his lungs as he takes in the smell of your perfume.

'Thank you,' he murmurs, lips moving against your skin. 'For wanting me.'

Pulling away from him, you swallow thickly, looking down at your feet and letting a wave of longing glide along your nerves. Wetness pools at your core once more, and you can feel a patch of slick growing on your underwear.

Lifting your arm, you gesture vaguely at the play place. 'Get on with it, then.'

Nodding enthusiastically, Chanyeol discards his jacket, folding it neatly before placing it at your feet with a grin. Adoration pools in his irises, and you feel yourself begin to drown before he moves, getting on all fours with an eagerness you find to be adorably childlike. With a shake of his bum, Chanyeol makes for the green tube, quickly negotiating his entrance as though he had come prepared for an excursion like this. Once inside the tube, the echoes of his clambering reach your ears, and you rest the back of your hand against your lips, chuckling to yourself as you hear the banging of his large feet carrying him, messily, through the tube.

'Yoga paying off then?' you call with a giggle, listening for sounds that give away his location.

'Fuck off.' Chanyeol's voice carries slowly, muffled by the thick plastic that separates you from him.

'What am I supposed to say if you get stuck in there?'

You smile widens when your only response is a muffled hum of exasperation, the sounds of his struggle falling quiet. Even without him beside you, the tension in the atmosphere continues to linger, heightened by the silence and the shift in humor. His focus on achieving his goal is palpable, seeping through the play place and quickening the speed of your blood through your heart. Always, he is like this, committed to winning only slightly less than he is committed to you, and when the two collide, there are few things that could ease him out of such an intense state of wanting.

Bending to pick up his coat, you press your face to the wool, letting your eyes fall closed as his cologne makes your lungs burn. Just the scent of him makes you salivate, the softness of the fabric ticking your cheeks and raising a phantom touch of his fingers, memories of all the times he's cupped your face as he kissed you, held your face in his hands as he rocked into you, thumbs wiping tears from your eyes the night he proposed, after your first fight, after he told you he loved you.

His hands have been all over you, and still you feel him, always, wanting him just as much as the first time he looked you in the eyes, ears red and mouth dry, telling you he wouldn't be able to sleep if you went another night knowing how badly he needed you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of light tapping, a rhythmic pulsing from somewhere in the fort, and you raise your head, smirking, expecting to hear his needy plea for help within a tube. Instead, you find your husband within the purple rectangle, peeking out the small window, beaming and waving, pressing his hand and forehead to the plastic, silently begging you to join him.

'Would you look at that,' you mutter. 'Looks like we'll be using my coat, then.'

Dropping his coat back to the floor, you regard the tube skeptically before sighing, getting on your hands and knees to mimic Chanyeol's approach. After a few moments of awkward, uncoordinated crawling, you emerge from the end of the tube, finding yourself at a fork. The route to your right appears much smaller, enough that you would have to crawl on your stomach to make through entirely, and cannot fathom how Chanyeol would have fit his legs through the corners. Heading left, you crawl until you find yourself at a thin, narrow ladder leading up to the red cube below the purple one.

With an exasperated sigh, you pull yourself out of the small space, navigating carefully, so you can get on the ladder without slipping.

'Chan, how the fuck do I get up this without breaking things?' you ask, looking around and feeling certain this ladder will not hold your weight.

'I dunno,' Chanyeol's voice comes, distant yet remarkably close, echoing around you through the tunnels. ‘Climb.’

'Fucking...climb where,' you mutter, hoping for a different ladder to be mentioned.

'I went up the wall grip,' Chanyeol says matter-of-factly, assuming you and everyone else you have met in your life knows exactly what he is referencing. 

'Helpful.'

You begin climbing the ladder, slowly placing your shoes on each rung and pausing so that you don't slip, hoping that the ladder doesn't tip back. The yellow metal is slippery, and with each grasp you sneer, hoping it's just because your hands are clammy, that the heat from desire has mixed with the heating of the building and the heat that has gathered in the play place, making everything feel damp.

'How’s it going, precious? Where are you?' Chanyeol’s voice calls, encouraging and excited.

'I’m climbing the ladder of death,' you manage, reaching the top and seeing a tilted entrance to the red square.

Narrowing your eyes, you look down to your feet, keeping aware of the heel of your shoes as you coordinate flattening yourself enough to push yourself both off the ladder and up into the square.

Chanyeol's laugh ripples through the tubes, a symphony that makes you grip the plastic landing with fervor. 'I’m fairly certain you’re making that sound far more exciting than it actually is.'

'Children are meant to climb this, Chanyeol.' Pushing yourself up into the red square, you let yourself be led by the sound of his voice. 'Not grown adults.'

'How did you even get there?' he asks, though he does not pause for your answer. 'You must have gone the wrong way.'

Emerging into the purple rectangle, you cock and eyebrow at him as he beams, scrambling to take your hands and helping you inside. 'I didn't know there was a map for fucking.'

Pulling you into the center of the rectangle, Chanyeol's smile morphs from one of an amused grin to one of profound affection, irises swimming with a heady combination of want and need and unprecedented devotion. He lets himself have his fill of you as you settle, his penetrating stare raising the temperature several degrees just by its intensity. Moving your hair from your face, he lets his fingers card through the strands, his expression softening. 

'You made it,' he praises, forehead dropping to yours before pressing a kiss to your nose.

Inching closer, you relish the way he never fails to create a cocktail of almost painful arousal and blood deep longing that burns, not unlike a star, between you as you fall heart first into one another. Letting your foreheads touch and breaths become shared for several moments, luxuriating in the act of breathing and existing together, you feel a wave of desire course through your veins as he hums, lost in pleasure and becoming carried away with the totality of you. Shaking your head, you pull back, settling on the floor as your cross your legs, looking from side to side with a grin.

'This is...cozy,' you tease, cocking your head to the side playfully.

Chuckling, Chanyeol pushes back to settle on his legs, rotating so his back rests against the wall, creating enough space for his long limbs to extend in front of him. He enthusiastically spreads his arms, inviting and welcoming you to him, and you eagerly comply, moving to his side to sling one leg over his lap, settling on, and against, him with a contented sigh.

Delicately cupping his face in your hands, you let your fingers stroke over the shell of his ears and lean forward to capture his lips in a kiss, corner of your mouth curling into a satisfied smile as he releases a small, relieved moan. His hands grip your hips beneath your coat, pressing you roughly down against his groin as he rolls up into you slowly, gently, enacting a promise of what's to come. Licking at his lips, he opens for you, tongues touching and gliding, your hands shifting to the base of his neck, fisting in his hair and massaging his scalp in encouragement.

Breaking the kiss, his head falls back, mouth open and panting as he struggles to catch his breath, lips red and wet, eyes dark from the dilation of his pupils.

'Better?' he asks with an impish smirk, a gruff sound that barrels through you, pooling in your belly.

'Tons.'

Claiming his lips once more, you try to keep the kiss chaste, hoping to tease the edges of his control as you move down to his jaw, his thumbs rubbing hard circles into your hips through your pants. But his hands move swiftly, sensing you're ready to pull away, and he places one hand firmly on the back of your neck, keeping you in place, deepening the kiss as he rolls up into your center once more. Through his pants, you feel the hardness of his cock beginning to form, the pressure against your core, even through layers of clothes enough to send a choked breath tumbling into his waiting mouth.

Running his tongue along your bottom lip before sucking it between his teeth, he lets his hands slip away from your neck, reassured he has you where he wants you, and lets his fingers nestle beneath the collar of your shirt. It’s a featherlight touch, the tickle of him against a soft, rarely touched and barely seen part of you sending a pool of anticipation and wetness to your folds, and you feel how slick you have become as you move against him.

Hands still gripping his hair, you tug him back, breaking the kiss as you grind down into his lap, transfixed by the way his brow furrows, eyes locked on yours and tongue coming to lick his lips before he bits the flesh in wanting. Repeating the action, you grind into him and his head falls forward onto your shoulder, body wired and hands needy, his level of arousal given away by the slow dry thrust he offers to your core.

'Tell me this wasn’t a good idea,' Chanyeol moans into your neck, lips moving against your skin as he speaks. 

With a growl of possessiveness, he places a wet kiss at the juncture of your neck and shoulder. His hands push the collar of your shirt aside, forcibly enough the button at your breasts slips open, and attaches his lips to the skin before he nips at you, teeth ghosting over the places his tongue so deftly heats. Clutching at him, your hands leave his hair to press your fingers into the muscle of his broad shoulders, shuddering through a current of arousal as your head tips back, opening to him, offering and giving yourself over to his heart, his mouth, his soul. 

Enticed, Chanyeol takes a hand away from your hip, smiling as you whine at the loss of contact, and cradles the back of your head against his palm. Nuzzling against the center of your throat, he mumbles a low curse before biting at the tendon, sending fire into your veins and making you grind deeply against his lap, aching to hold him inside you. 

‘It was an awful idea,’ you whimper, tugging at his hair once more to move his face away. Gliding your hands over his shoulders and down his arms, you grip his hands and guide them to the buttons of your shirt. ‘But I need you, and I don’t really care where or how it happens. I just need you to hurry up.’

He releases a breathy laugh, large fingers struggling to undo the small buttons of your shirt without requiring further encouragement. ‘We’ll have to keep quiet, baby,’ he reminds you with an unsteady tone, ears turning an adorable shade of crimson as your shirt falls off your shoulders and down your arms. With your breasts exposed, you watch as he swallows, rolling up into your core as he kisses at your chest. ‘Think you can manage that?’

Bringing your hands to his neck, you slide them down to his tie, tugging at the Windsor knot with vigor as you smile. 

‘Can you?’ you counter. ‘Or will we have to use this?’

Using two fingers you push his face gently away from your chest, showing him the end of his tie. Years together and still be blushes at the sight of you, spine and body and mind wound to a coil at the knowledge you are his, no one else’s, and the very thought always sends his voice to an octave of possession that makes your bones rattle. Truthfully, you are both vocal, but his voice hits like thunder, juts against your skin and burrows into your pores with the same earnestness as he buries himself into you, keeping you full and keeping the world on edge, knowing you are his, you are his, you are his, and he absolutely will never let you go.

Nostrils flaring at the thought of either you or he, or both of you, so caught up in lust and loving that you crave one another’s names into your skin from the volume of having and taking that a gag is required, he pulls his hands from your body. Brow turning severe and demanding, he juts his chin forward and lowers his voice, stepping into a place of authority.

‘Bra off. Undress yourself for me,’ he commands, undoing the rest of the knot.

With wide eyed obedience, you bring your arms back to the clasp of your bra, unlatching it and wishing the silk of your fingers was the rough callous of fingertips, aching for the heaviness of his touch. It falls away from you the same moment his tie slithers from his neck and into the space between your bodies. Sweat builds at your hairline and the base of your neck, settling into grooves you did not know you contained until he roused the full length of your being, skin slick with a craving for his body on yours that borders precariously on greed. 

Enthralled by the harsh rise and fall of his chest, you kiss sweetly at his lips, nipples hardened by a yearning for his palms against the sensitive nerves. And it hits you, amidst the voraciousness of your appetite and the endless stretch of utter reverence your heart carries for him, that this kind of wanting has thrown you both off your axis, delivered you to the brink of a risk that carries a dangerous consequence.

Stomach dropping, you let the anxiety coat your throat as you speak. ‘Chan.’ Your hands come to hold his, halting his motions of unbuttoning his shirt, steadying his movements.

Immediately, he stops, gaze full of concern and scans your body for hurt or marks or a reason he should stop. Always, this is his gut reaction to a hint of sadness or worry in your voice - a soul bound promise to ensure your wellbeing, and ensure he loves you back into the sun.

Gliding his hand over your cheek, fingers moving into your hair as he strokes the strands, his other arm wraps around your waist, pulling you as close to his chest as he can. ‘What is it, baby?’

Softening at his concern, your own hand rests against his cheek, breath catching in your chest with a mild ache as he leans into your touch. ‘We do shit like this all the time, but...now,  I could lose my job.’

Nodding, he catches your lips and searing kiss, pouring his encouragement and understanding into your blood. You drink it down, hoping that this kind of affection will give you wings, will provide you the confidence to be young and free and wholly alive, and in love, in the arms of the man who taught you to be brave. But still, he gives you an out, refusing to push you to a limit you aren’t ready to take.

‘We don’t have to, baby,’ he affirms, breaking the kiss and regarding you with a conviction that makes your mouth run dry. ‘Not if you don’t want it.’

Shaking your head, you pull his hand from your hair, twining your fingers together in reassurance. ‘I do. You know I do.’ He lifts your clasped hands to his mouth, dropping a kiss against your knuckles. Overwhelmed by the kindness he radiates, you offer him a tender smile, even when half-hard and longing to be buried between your thighs. ‘But there’s a window right there. What if someone sees?’

Chanyeol's gaze shifts away from your face, settling behind you to regard the small clear circle. He pauses briefly, mind racing and thoughts loud enough you can almost hear them, before he breaks into a wide grin, releasing his hand to guide your hips up and away from his lap. Abruptly, he flips you, swiftly moving his hand to your mouth to muffle your exclamation of shock and squeezes your hip in warning. Now, with you resting on all fours he curls over your back, planting a wet kiss to the center of your spine, easing your bodies forward until your face rests directly in the center of the window. 

‘Then you’ll have you keep watch.' 

You can hear the smirk in his voice, the blissed out honey cadence he adopts when he gets to be the one in control, leading your fucking with a confidence that makes your thighs clench, inner walls gripping at a hollow sense of nothingness.

From this angle you can just make out the edges of the tables, will see the moment anyone approaches the play place and can alert Chanyeol to stop. But still, you are reminded of the risk of someone approaching, the heat of anxiety urging you along to finish, and to finish silently, with Chanyeol’s hands and skin all over you.

And you'd protest this angle, would remind him that this is wrong and unprofessional and illegal, if you did not want him just as violently, too, since you left him in the morning. You came, loudly and into the smooth angle of his shoulder, clutching at his arms with enough pressure to tear straight through to the bone, but still you wanted him. You got out of bed, naked and sweating and trembling, and still you wanted him. You got dressed, covered your sensitive groin with underwear that moistened on contact, and still you wanted him.

This, of course, was his tactic. To remind you there are many other ways to be seen, and to be had, and he would always find his way to drink his fill of you, choosing the most isolated approach to assure your body in pleasure was for his eyes only. Taming you, his universe, for all the world to see if only they would look up.

Rutting against your ass with a shallow grunt, the pad of his index finger runs over your bottom lip, tracing the flesh with a roughness that makes blood rush beneath the skin. 

'Why didn't you wear a skirt today?'  he laments, dipping his finger into your open mouth. Closing around it, you suck at the digit, eyes falling closed as you imagine your mouth full, wrapped around his cock with your head held firmly in place. His voice breaks, stumbling over his words before he can properly gather them. 'Would have been so much faster to get inside you.'

Pulling his finger from your lips with a soft pop, his hands move to the button of your trousers, thumbing it open and undoing the zipper as his other slips beneath the waistband of your underwear. He grips the band of your pants firmly, ready to tug them down at a moments notice, but instead lets two fingers trace the wetness that has smeared over your folds, gliding them along your slit without letting them push inside. Biting your lip, you press your ass back against his hips, feeling the full force of his erection at this angle, and shiver, wanting to be full twice over. 

'I could have looked you in the eye when you come around me,' he continues through grit teeth, meeting your ass with a thrust that makes him hiss. 'Asking me with your eyes to fill you up, quiet but aching for it.'

His hand leaves you, slipping up and away from a core that makes you whine in displeasure. Behind you, Chanyeol chuckles at the sound, a dark laugh that tumbles down your back in an avalanche. Guiding your pants over and down your ass, he pushes them down to your knees, walking his hands up your legs before scratching at the sensitive skin where your thighs meet your groin. Lowering your chin to your chest, you exhale silently, nails digging into the plastic to keep yourself quiet. 

'When I saw you put these on this morning,' he says, snapping the band of your underwear, 'I immediately wanted to take them off.'

Silently, you curse, the atmosphere becoming thick and heady. All of your body feels dampened by him, cunt and pores dripping with want for him, saliva wetting your parted lips and pussy aching to be soaked full of him. He lets both hands slide over your stomach, pausing his ministrations, pulling your back into an arch against his chest, and demanding that you listen. Raising your head, you look back out the window, vision unfocused and note the way life seems to continue, mundane and dull, not fifty feet below.

'You expected me to just let you walk away from me.’ Mouth against your ear, he licks at the shell, moving his hands up slowly to cup your breasts, massaging the supple flesh . 'My come still dripping down your legs, staining you so pretty.'

Clenching around nothing at the rich chocolate of his voice, you release a wet moan, rolling your shoulders forward slightly to put more of your breasts in his hands. 'Chan, please.'

'What do you want, kitten?' he whispers, sounding so sweet, so docile, so utterly, unbelievably dangerous. 

'Your fingers,’ you try, pushing back against his groin. Lifting one hand, you reach back, hoping to palm against his cock, but he removes his hand from your chest, grabbing your wrist to press it back to the floor. With a soft whimper of defeat, you try again ‘Want your cock inside me. Please, anything.'

He hums, considering your words and releasing your wrist to settle between your legs. Sliding the line of your underwear to the side, the pressure against your folds making you sigh, he swirls two fingers over your cunt. The sound of your wetness seems to echo in the plastic cube, though you know it’s just your heightened senses making everything - everything about his touch, his breath, and the almost painful emptiness of your inner walls - resonate. 

'Do you know what I wanted this morning?' he asks, voice low as he presses the tips of his fingers inside you.

Whelmed by the sudden something moving inside you, you simply shake your head, luxuriating in the sensation of his skin and bony knuckles as they spread you delicately before moving further into inside, to the second knuckle. 

'Words, kitten. Use them,’ he commands. ‘Or do you want me to spank you? Remind you what happens when you disobey?'

Removing his other hand from your breast, he slides the fullness of his palm down your spine before lifting it, delivering a light slap at the same moment he lets his fingers push deep inside you to the hilt. 

A moan builds in your chest, threatening to splinter the cage bones before you catch it, choking on the sound.

Swallowing thickly, you inhale deeply, letting the oxygen burn before you speak. 'What did you want?'

He sets a slow rhythm with his fingers, spreading them with every other outward thrust to prepare you. The bones in his knuckles tease you, and you clench around his hand, desperate to hold him inside.

'I wanted to fuck my come back into you,’ he bites you, ‘add more to it before I spread it over your chest. Maybe even come on your tongue.'

Chanyeol adds a third finger, speeding up the rhythm and lets his other hand fall back on the soft flesh of your ass, spanking you harder this time over your underwear. Moaning, you squeeze your eyes shut, wiggling back into his palm as he massages the area before he reaches for the band, pulling your underwear down and letting the curve of your cheeks keep the band in place. 

‘You felt how much I wanted you too,’ he chastises. ‘Felt my dick against your hip and you got up, gave me a full view of this ass like I wouldn’t want another bite.’

Again, he lifts his hand, creating a slight breeze in the air that makes the wetness at your clit and thighs tingle. This time, his spank is hard, a crack that seems to detonate around the plastic. A soft cry is wrenched from your lips, legs starting to tremble as you lift the back of your hand to your mouth, muffling your exclamation of pain and pleasure. 

Noticing your weakening resolve, Chanyeol stops the soothing rub of your skin prematurely, letting the sting of his palm burn into the flesh as he blindly sends his hand seeking. It’s not a deep hurt, certainly nothing compared to the times he’s slapped your ass red, punished you for the way you called him at work and talked him to a painful erection; the way you wrapped your lips around his cock and sucked him to the edge only to walk away, going back to dinner with his parents; the way you wore silk to his office’s holiday dinner, and sat far away from him all night, spreading your legs wide to reveal your lack of underwear every time he walked by. 

No, this sting is positively placid compared to the times he’s ensured you would not sit without remembering his hand, but it aches just the same, tightening the muscles in the base of your spine and suddenly making you painfully aware of your neglected clit.

Chanyeol releases a soft noise of satisfaction before bringing his hand to your face, fist full of his tie.

'Open up,’ he commands. ‘You’ll have to bite down on this to keep yourself quiet.’

Obediently, you open your mouth, letting him gently push the fabric inside, the bulge of the base tucked against your tongue and ensuring it does not come apart.

‘Can you breathe, baby?’ Chanyeol softly takes your chin and turns your head toward his leaning, over you to make sure you are safe. ‘Comfortable? Let me know if it’s too much.’

Eyes locked on his, studying the deep black of his pupils, full of lust and longing and concern, you nod, thinking this kind of affection would be sweet if he did not curl his fingers at the first sign of your approval, grazing the sweet spot inside you with practiced diligence. Immediately, your eyes blow wide, biting down on the tie and letting it muffle the exclamation of ecstasy he rips from you.

And all at once, his hands on you disappear, leaving you alone and slipping from your center with a speed that makes your head look frantically back to his, seeking an answer.

'Play with yourself,’ he mutters before slipping his fingers into his mouth and sucking your juices from them. His eyes roll back briefly, tongue peeking out to lap the spaces in between. ‘I need to undo these and I don't have much room.'

The pun of his reference to the space inside the cube and the lack of room within his trousers makes you smile, but only momentarily. Wiping a hand on your leg, hoping the traces of sweat that have built along your skin will clean some part of you fingers and knowing, with lament, that it will only aid in ensuring they become more sticky, you lightly toy with your clit. The relief you had hoped for does not come, and you know, without a shadow of a doubt this was his plan. 

You would never touch yourself as forcibly as you craved, always hyper aware of the germs children carry, the germs of public spaces, thrilled by the risk and disgusted by the consequence, trapping yourself in your own tug of war that kept you on edge and waiting for him to push you. 

Chanyeol wastes no time in undoing the button and fly of his trousers, already too far gone in his own wanting to delay his pleasure. He’d wanted you since morning, wanted you since he decided to come to you, wanted you before he’d stepped inside the restaurant, and now that he has you as he wants you, there is little control left within his veins to cool his blood. He tugs his pants and briefs down in one swift motion, the length of his erection springing free and standing tall. 

Gripping it steadily with his hand, he settles back behind you, kissing your ear, your cheek, your neck as he places his knees comfortably between yours. 

‘Hands and knees, kitten,’ he says gently, biting the juncture of your neck and shoulder hard enough for it to bruise. ‘Make sure no one sees.’ 

With your hands in place and your forehead lulling enough to rest against the window, Chanyeol guides the tip of his cock to your center. Your eyes flutter closed as you feel the come and go of his hand as he pumps himself, taking the wetness from your thighs and folds, spreading it over his length. 

‘I can slip right inside,’ he murmurs to himself. ‘You get so wet for me. I’m so lucky to have a pussy made of velvet.’

And with that, he pushes himself slowly inside, gripping your hips to keep you both steady. 

Grateful for the tie in your mouth, you moan at the feeling of being spread so full, whining desperately as he rolls his hips, delivering himself to your center and burying his cock inside you to the hilt. Without hesitation, Chanyeol pulls his hips back with an agile snap, only to come forward again, the bones of his hips smacking into yours and making you slip forward. He sets a punishing rhythm, fingers pressing into your flesh hard enough for you to know you will be carrying his marks - the indentation of his teeth on your shoulder turning a soft shade of lavender, the dots of his fingers surely deep enough to adorn a regal shade of blue, and the sweet red of the hickeys he kissed onto your neck blooming not unlike the petals of flowers.

The hot steel of his member scorches you, sends your heart beating into your throat, the rush of your blood flooding your ears as your tongue throbs in time with your pulse. Already, you feel yourself clenching around him, wanting him deeper, wanting him harder, wanting him everywhere, and know that you will not lost. In public, you rarely do, given over to the raw intensity of lust, scorched thin and turned to ash before either of you moves within the other. 

Chanyeol bends down against your back, dropping his teeth to the indents he had created without applying any pressure, grunting against your skin and licking aimlessly with his tongue as he thrusts into you. The wet sounds of your fucking fill the cube, and the thought crosses your mind briefly that such a vigorous rhythm will surely give you away, but it bleeds away, burned by the press of his tip against your spot. It’s hard to focus on much other than this, the pound of his hips against yours, the almost painful way your skin presses into the plastic - marked by something other than his touch - and the way the intoxicating aroma of his musk has started to temper the atmosphere. You smell him, deep down into your lungs, and you choke on him, crying out into the tie and wishing it was his mouth swallowing your voice whole. 

‘You’re so pretty when you’re like this,’ he mutters, lifting his mouth from your shoulder and pressing it to your ear. ‘Stuffed full of me and wanting more.’

Clenching around his cock, you reach weakly behind you, grappling for his hip to scratch a long line against the skin. The most sensitive part of him, his sides, was always your crutch, a method of regaining an element of power when he had you this way, but once again, he grabs your wrist and presses it back to the ground, rolling into you slowly before pulling out, leaving just his tip inside you.

‘Stay still,’ he threatens, rolling his hips in figure-eights. ‘You know how we both get when I let you touch me.’ He eases his cock back inside you, offering you shallow, tantalizing thrusts. The tease makes your thighs shake. ‘I’ll scream your name tonight, when you’re the only one who can hear me beg for you.’

You can’t answer, violently torn between shaking your head no and nodding your head yes. When he’s like this, often his head is thrown back in bliss, Chanyeol yelling your name like a prayer, and you miss it - miss the music in his soul, the enduring cry of pleasure is yours. But instead, you scratch along the plastic, rocking your ass back against his cock, hoping to take him deeper. 

‘I’m going to make you come,’ he says, speeding up his thrusts once more as his hand ghosts over your arm, down your stomach, before pressing gently on your mound. ‘I’m going to make you come and I want to feel it.’

With that, he resumes unforgiving rhythm of his thrusts, his fingers diving down over your cunt to tap in time against your clit. The shock of firm, precise pleasure against the swollen bundle of nerves makes your walls clench erratically, your ass thrusting back against his hips messily, desperate in your uncoordinated attempt to reach the climax you can feel building in your belly and thighs. Eyes starting to water, your vision blurs, breath coming in strained huffs as he alternates taps and swirls of his finger in time with his thrusts. 

‘That’s it, kitten,’ he coos, his own thrusts losing their rhythm as he nears his orgasm. ‘Come all over my cock. Let me fill this pussy up. And be quiet about it.’ 

Inside and around you, he is relentless, leading you over the edge before offering a final push, pressing roughly against your clit as he hits your spot. Muffled, your tongue licks at the tie as you struggle to yell his name, clenching around his cock as your back arches, orgasm making the blood in your veins feel like wildfire. The coil in your belly releases in waves, rolling down and through your skin in a torrent that makes your nerves ache. You feel him, all of him - deep inside you as you tremble around him; against your skin, his chest slick and his mouth wet, his own whines sadly tucked away inside his throat; within your bones, rocking the structure of your marrow into something that carries nothing but the kiss of his name. 

Chanyeol is a sensory overload, the totality of him making you throb through your orgasm, vision hazed by white and pussy dripping over him, the wet squelch of your release making the cube sound as though it’s starting to sweat. 

His thrusts gain momentum as the aftershocks of your orgasm pushes your nerves into oversensitivity, though they are hardly coordinated. Against your legs, his thighs begin to shake, trembling with the oncoming storm of his own releases. With a few thrusts, his hand moves away from your clit to grip your hips, his head falling into the base of your neck as he comes, hot and wet inside you, the warmth of his release coating your walls and mixing with your own juices. 

He stills against you, both of you shaking together, rocked by the force of want and coming down from the raw tempest of yearning you both keep locked away, as best you can. Slowly, his fingers release your hips, rubbing soft, gentle circles over the bruises in apology as his lips give shape to barely audible whispers.

‘I love you,’ he mutters to himself, blissed out and unwilling to find reality. ‘I love you, I love you, you’re everything, my heart.’

Smiling to yourself, you bow your head and spit out the tie, squinting as your eyes burn with sweat and tears. Your limbs are unsteady, bones feeling not unlike gel and ready to give out at a moments notice. Reaching over your shoulder, your fingers graze at his hair, carding through the strands to stroke him back to you, back to the pillar of control you need to help you come down.

Slowly, he comes back to himself with a tiny whine, kissing up your spine as he gently eases his softening cock from your core. Whimpering in discomfort, you let your arms give out beneath you, only to find Chanyeol’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you to his chest as he holds you close. Turning to face him, you nuzzle into his neck, reminding yourself you cannot fall asleep - you absolutely cannot fall asleep - even though you so desperately want to you. 

‘Are you okay?’ he asks, kissing your forehead as he smooths your hair from your face.

‘I’m fine,’ you croak, throat dry from lack of use and the strain of being gagged. ‘I’ll need a bottle of water, though.’ 

For a few seconds, you let yourself be held, glad for the privacy and glad for the protective strength in his arms as he holds you. Eventually, you hear the distant murmurs of children just beyond the play place, adrenaline becoming replaced with anxiety.

‘How do you suppose we get out of here?’ you ask, eyes popping open as you peer at him. ‘I’m not strong enough to go back down that ladder.’

Chanyeol chuckles, kissing you deeply before winking.

‘I thought about that, too,’ he says with a smirk.

‘Oh, no,’ you groan, having already seen where his thoughts have lead you.

‘There’s a slide right here that leads to a ball pit,’ he advises, utterly sure of himself. 

Cocking an eyebrow at him, you match his smirk with a teasing pull of your lips. ‘Was the whole point of this excursion one long pun?’

He blushes, smiling playfully. ‘Maybe.’ 

[shannygoatgruff]

Stay Safe, Stay Home Writing Challenge - (Call me if you need anything) @waiting4inspiration​

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Modern Ivar x OC

Warning: Language, strong sexual content

Rating: M

A/N:  First my apologies for taking so long to post this chapter. I lost the original version of chapter 7, but I hope you enjoy this slightly longer re-write.  I think this story only has 1 or 2 more chapters and it’s done.  I’m almost through telling the story I wanted to tell.

Next, I got the idea for this from experience I had with an ex, with whom I am still very close friends. We were actually talking about this particular encounter recently, and I thought it would be fun to write it. I will say, if you have never had sex with someone that you are truly friends with, you have no idea what you’re missing out on!  I think the sexiest sex is the kind where you talk to your partner.  Maybe it’s just the stage I’m in my life.  What you’re doing doesn’t interest me as much as what’s going on in your head.

Finally, I used the lyrics to ‘Imported’ by Jessie Reyes without permission.  I love her and that song and when I hear it, I see Ivar and Cash.  I have included the video at the end of the chapter - the vibe of the song is how I see them as a couple.

Enjoy!

Chapter 6 

Chapter 7

When Ivar moved across the floor, there was grace in his movements. His motions were fluid, and because he didn’t use his legs to aid him, how he curved his spine to usher his mobility gave him the agility of a big cat stalking his prey. One-shoulder worked in tandem with the hip on the opposite side of his body creating this... glide, that was simply fucking sexy.  Cash found herself wondering how good the view of him crawling would look from underneath him.      

Crawling for Cash, however, was anything but graceful. She hadn’t gotten very far, just from the dresser to the full-length mirror, but fuck a duck if it wasn’t hard. At first, she tried to be all sexy, and crawl on her hands and knees, but when she realized Ivar couldn’t use his knees, she switched to an Army crawl.  

After the first pass across the floor, she knew this crawling idea was going to be short-lived.  Not only did she not possess the upper body strength to keep it up, but she was also getting hella ashy.  It was bad enough the rain had washed away most of her lotion, but now she was sliding around on the carpet. She was going to look like she had been rolling around in flour at any minute. Her mother would have a fucking fit if she saw the state she was in.

And how the hell was she supposed to get her toiletry tote across the room? It wasn’t like it was a backpack. It was hard enough trying to maneuver herself around, let alone bring something with her.  She had tried dragging it and even pushing it in front of her.  Both ways were taking forever.  At the rate she was going, she and the tote would get to the mirror by her 30th birthday.  

Ivar leaned against the bed watching with curiosity.  He had never seen an able-bodied person struggle so hard to crawl. Why didn’t she just get up on all fours? He appreciated that view of her.  It was much more seductive then whatever the hell she was doing now.  Currently, she looked like she was trying to do the worm in a breakdance competition for quadriplegics.  

“It may be easier if you use your arms.  You have all of your weight on your elbows.  Try using your wrists and hands. That way, you can move your bag with you.” Ivar laid on his stomach facing Cash and demonstrated, “See?  Like this…” 

“See, like this,” Cash mocked in a high pitched voice rolling her eyes as she continued to struggle across the floor.  Suddenly, she felt the sting of his hand as it landed flat on her ass. It sounded much worse than it felt.  It didn’t hurt in the least, but she still gave him the evil eye, “Did you just?” she feigned shock.  

Being the youngest child, Ivar got away with a lot of shit.  He was used to blaming one of his brothers for everything and he always got away with it. It became a little game he liked to play with them that he lovingly titled, ‘How much trouble can I get you in?’  It was during that time that he started doing this mocking, side to side head motion to symbolize his victory.  As an adult, during a triumph, he continued to rock his head in this obnoxious manner, only now, it also included a shit-eating grin, followed by a dab.  

Cash watched the most incredibly mischievous smile spread across Ivar’s face as he bobbed his head and then he dabbed the air.  He spoke some foreign words and seemed mighty pleased with himself. “Oh, chuckle it up, Chuckles.” She rolled her eyes and sat up.  “Ya, perv.”

God, he had been wanting to do that ever since she started crawling. He just wanted to see if her ass was really as soft as it looked.  It was, and it had the right amount of bounce.  “Sorry. I could not resist,” his smile was so big, it was hard to make out what he was saying, “You were making fun of me. It was all I could think to do,” he whined.

Cash turned toward the mirror and started to dump out the contents of her bag. She picked up her wide-tooth comb and folded her legs beneath her. Leaning into the mirror, she fixed her eyes squarely on his image, “If you wanted to cop a feel, all you had to do was ask.”  She watched as his mouth opened and closed, like a fish. 

“What are you going to do?”  He asked, folding his hands in his lap. 

Cash parted her hair down the middle and secured half of it with a ponytail holder. Carefully detangling the other half with a comb, she reached in the bag for a jar and struggled with the top, “I’m going to put my hair in two braids, so I won’t look totally crazy.”  She held the jar out to Ivar.  “Can you open this for me?”

Silently, he crawled to where she sat and took the jar out of her hands.  With one turn he had the lid opened.  “This smells wonderful. What is it?”  

“A moisturizing mask.”

“It smells like coconuts and berries, and…and,” he took another big sniff but couldn’t quite place the scent, “I don’t know but it is amazing.  It smells soft. Like you.”

“Jasmine,” she took the jar from his hand and tried not to blush.  He thought she smelled soft?  “I made this.”

“You make this?”

“It’s not hard,” she shrugged, “All you need are some essential oils for the smell and different kinds of butters.  It’s pretty easy.  It’s good to keep moisture in.  I could even use it on your hair and it wouldn’t be greasy.  See feel.” She titled her hair for Ivar to feel her hair without the moisturizer. “Now you know I must like you because I’m letting you touch my hair.”  Then, she scooped a small amount of product onto her palm before rubbing it into her hair. After she had worked it though she tilted her head toward him again.  “Now feel.”

His eyes grew with amazement.  “That feels awesome.”  Of course, he couldn’t help but bring his nose to her hair.  “And it smells good.” His nose brushed the side of her ear before making its way to her neck, then back into her hair.  “I like this smell.”

Cash giggled at the feeling, but she couldn’t ignore the tiny goosebumps that started to prickle every inch of her skin.  “Do you know how to braid?”  She asked feeling her neck slowly start to lean more into the warmth of this breath. 

“Hmm?” He looked at her eyes in the mirror and noticed that he had been rubbing her arm.  When did that happen?  What the hell was in that jar? “Braid?  A little. I used to help my mother when I was young. She has very long hair.” He watched as a smooth smile crossed Cash’s face.  “Oh, no.  I cannot. I am terrible at it.”  

“Oh, you know nothing, Jon Snow,” she handed him a brush, “you do mine, and  I’ll do yours.”

“And we can have a sleeping party, like girlfriends,” he mocked in a high pitched girl voice and twirled his hair around his finger, “...and paint each other’s nails and do make-overs!”

“That’s a slumber party, jerk. And as long as there are no pillow fights, I’d be okay with it.”  She nudged his shoulder with her own. “But, I hope you don’t want to be my girlfriend.”

Ivar took the comb from Cash and looked at the floor.  He didn’t want to chance to catch her eyes in the mirror, just in case, “I was really kind of hoping that you would want to be mine.”  

“Really?”  Cash asked said softly before capturing his lips for a soft kiss.  “Good. It’s about time.  I was getting gray hair over here, waiting on you to make a move...”  Smiling into his lips, she wondered, how did her tongue always end up in his mouth?  Was she capable of kissing him without needing to feel his velvety tongue on hers?  She pulled away slightly and pecked him a few more times. “Now, I can’t be all kissing and everything with my hair looking like this.  I’m too cute to be looking this tore up. So you helping or nah?”  

Braiding each other’s hair had been the most intimate thing Cash had ever done with a man, besides Glenn, with her clothes on.  Why was it so easy to trust him?  She let him touch her hair – generally speaking, black women don’t let people other their mothers or their hairdresser touch their hair. Hell, Cash’s parents had been married for over 30 years and she seriously doubted that her father had ever touched her mother’s hair. She had known this man for almost 48 hours and she had already let him see her with ashy legs.  What the fuck was really going on?  

It was something more than just being comfortable around him being bushy and ashy, that’s for sure.  Maybe it was the fact that the things that she normally would be embarrassed about she didn’t give a fuck about anymore. She was pretty sure that if she needed to fart in front of him, she would have,  That’s how secure she felt with him.  

Ivar was amazed that he stopped focusing on his the fact that his bare legs were showing and that he was crawling, hours ago. Whatever it was that he was nervous about before he had met Cash in person seemed like a distant memory.  He had just let this woman braid his hair like he was a girl playing beauty shop. 

Granted, the hairstyle looked badass, especially with the way his head was shaved on the sides – but he knew for sure none of his brothers would have let their girlfriends do that.  Hvitserk would talk shit to him about it for years to come because of it, too.  But, he didn’t care, it felt right.  Everything about her delicate fingers gripping his hair and gently massaging his scalp felt incredible. If she wanted to take every braid out and start all over, he would let her.  He would let her do whatever she wanted if it would make her smile.

Speaking of smiling, as he flipped through his phone for more music for them to listen to, his face lit up when he ran across their song. “You feel like singing?” As soon as the opening beat of Imported by Jessie Reyes ft. 6lack started playing, Cash let her head lean back and smiled.  

Ivar grabbed a brush, and handed her one, too.  If they were going to do this duet any justice, they both needed their microphones and to get into character. Mother nature was already setting the scene outside with the rain still beating down against the patio, creating the perfect backdrop for their music video. 

Bringing the hairbrush up to his mouth, he wanted Cash to see how he had choreographed his movements to the song.  He only wished that he had his braces on because he had an entire dance to go with it.  

Hi, my name is 6Lack And sometimes people me SIX-LACK I don’t mind because they stubborn And my bank account is looking mighty fine We can skip the wine and dine Go straight for the wind and grind She wanna cum, I can make it happen, fuck trying

Ivar rolled his hips from his sitting position on the floor with a devilish look on his face that made Cash lick her lips.  Damn, that boy could sing. Plus, he was sexy and gyrating…fuck! She was trying so hard to be good, but the song was talking about going straight for the wind and grind making people cum and sexy stuff and whatnot…she was only human.

Sometimes, I get messy, you can be my biggest secret I ain’t sliding if you wit him Baby, you gon’ have to have to leave him

Ivar wagged his finger at Cash to let her know that he wasn’t the cheating type. He winked at her when she smiled. 

I got morals on Sundays, sometimes on Wednesdays

He shrugged his shoulder and raised a brow.

Really, it depends but,

Ivar tried his best not to laugh at the face she was making at his stage-worthy performance. He was giving her his best big dick energy vibes. 

You, you’re in love with somebody else Maybe I could offer some help (Maybe I could offer some help) Get over them by getting under me

He watched as Cash closed her eyes and began to sing.  He could listen to her sing all day.  She had a beautiful voice and he loved the changes she made to songs. He especially loved what she did to Jessie Reyes’s part of this song.  

But you might O.D. if you get too much of me Might O.D. if you get too much of me

Cash, too, had a routine for this song, but she was not going to do it for him. Instead, she just did what felt natural at the moment.  She ran her hand down her throat to her collarbone then pulled her legs up to her chest. As she sang, she rubbed her cheek against her knee and gave him a vulnerable stare…

Hi, my name is not important I’m not from here, I’m imported I drink liquor like it’s water Hope my liver can afford it I’ve been lyin’ here with I’ve been lyin…, I’ll be lyin here I’m under the covers like

Her voice…that was the same voice he had listened to countless times over the phone, that was singing to him in person.  It was a little overwhelming.  He reached up and cupped her cheek, and when she opened her eyes he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss so slow and deep and it conveyed every thought and feeling that Ivar couldn’t put into words. 

He had so much he wanted to tell her, too.  Like how he was glad she replied to his comment that day on the Jessie Reyes blog for this song.  He had been listening to Imported on repeat because he was still in love with Freydis.  Even though they had been broken up for a couple of years and he didn’t want her back, he couldn’t get over her.  He was stuck mourning for what they could have been. He had so many hopes and dreams for them.  He thought he had found a beautiful woman that could love him despite his disabilities and he would have a chance at a normal life.  But, it didn’t work that way. Nothing in his life ever worked out that way.

Enter this song and this girl: the song was about finding someone to help you get over a broken heart and the girl...she was feeling a certain way because her first serious boyfriend, who she hadn’t been for over five years, was getting married.  Feelings had a funny way of fucking you up.  

But there they were; keyboard gangsters, in their feelings and being flirty.  They were two people on different continents who were never going to meet, so what harm was it to bare their souls?  Nobody ever died from having another friend; especially friends that liked to sing loved musicals and could go into a monologue from a movie with just the last word of a sentence. Really, friends like that were hard to come by.  

Now, if things kept going in the right direction, soon they would be lovers.  

Thank you, Jessie Reyes.

Cash bit Ivar’s neck, causing him to groan and squeeze her body tighter. Good thing the rain hadn’t washed off the scent of Aqua di Gio that seemed to be oozing from his pores.  Damn! How did he know exactly what scents got her going?  Did this man always smell like walking sex?  And was it natural for a man to have skin this damn soft?  

She watched her fingers as they trailed the lines of his tattoo along his left shoulder.  “What’s this?”  She asked as her fingertips came dangerously close to his nipple, before tracing the line back up the head of the figure to the center of his chest.

Ivar watched her nail slowly move across his skin and tucked his lip in between his teeth at the feeling.  “The mythical Norse dragon, Fáfnir.” Did his voice just crack?  She made him feel like a teenager all over again.  

Cash giggled.  She loved the way he suddenly started rolling his “r” and how his “th” started to sound like a z.  Had it always and she just not notice?  “Your accent is stronger,” she let her tongue follow along the line of his jaw, “it’s so sexy.”  

“It’s hard to concentrate on English,” he said matter-of-factly, making sure to slur his Norwegian tongue into his English words,  hands still gripping her waist, gently rocking with her on his lap, “when you do that.”  He pointed his chin toward the ceiling to grant her better access to his Adam’s apple, “You know, I don’t think I have ever been in this situation and had to speak English.”

Cash's eyes opened in bewilderment as she lifted her head. “You know what? I’ve never seen an uncircumcised penis.”  The thought just hit her.  If they were about to go there and she hoped to God they were, they needed to get all of this shit out of the way.  She sat back on his thighs and looped her arms around his neck.  

Ivar’s smile was so big, his eyes crinkled in the corners.  “Now?  You think of that now?  Really?” 

“I’m serious.”  She said settling back with a slight pout, “Circumcision is a big thing in the US, like everybody does it.  But here, not so much, right?  I mean, you’re not Jewish, are you?”  She raised her brow and nudged her head toward him.  “You know what I mean?”

He shook his head.  “You want to know if I am?”

“Kinda?”  Talk about killing the mood.  There were things that she might want to try with him, but she wanted to know what she might be in for first. Nobody liked those kinds of surprises during sex.  “ Is that weird?”  There were just certain things you need to be upfront about. Even though she suspected she wasn’t certain. 

Ivar shrugged with a glint of mischief in his eyes.  “Perhaps you will just have to find out.”  

“Oh, just tell me.”  She slapped his bare chest and rolled her eyes when he made a face like it hurt. “I’ll tell you something.”  

“I’m not telling you that.  But, I will tell you, that I have never seen brown nipples.”  He ran his fingers between Cash’s bra straps and her shoulders, slowly lowering the straps down her arm. When she didn’t protest, he continued to pull the straps lower.  He looked her in the eyes while she bent her arms through the loops to free herself of them. 

Sucking his lip, he let his eyes trail from hers down to her lips, then lower to her neck.  He admired how her pulse quickened when his hands touched just above her cleavage and when his thumbs gently pushed the lace down to expose her to him, he wanted to lick the hollow of her throat.  “You are beautiful.”  

Brown, white, black or pink, skin was skin, and Cash’s was beautiful and the skin on her breasts was just as soft and warm as the rest of her.  He patiently waited while she unhooked her bra and discarded it away from them, before he wrapped his muscular arms around her, burying his face in between her breasts. “I love boobs.” 

“Really?” She said smiling, as he looked up at her from the middle of her chest. “You didn’t strike me a breast man.” 

“I am an everything man.”  He smiled rubbing his face across her soft skin.  “What is that smell?  God…”  

“Ahh…that is Heliotrope Gingembre,  my favorite perfume.”

“Mine now, too,” he said absently.  Closing his eyes with his head laid on her chest.

She kissed him on the top of his head and started to rub the back of his neck, “You think I don’t know that you’re avoiding my question?  I shared.”

“I did not ask you a question and you did not tell me anything.”  He looked up at her and started to bob his head with that shit-eating grin again.  

“I will pop that little bobblehead of yours off your shoulders.  Now you’re just cheating.”  She rolled off his lap and laughed when he pouted at her and started to reach for her like a child.  “Not until you answer me.”  She sat next to him, but faced him and absently rubbed her hand along the hair on his legs.

He watched in amazement as she did.  She didn’t seem the least bit weirded out by his scars. “Okay, I’m sorry. You want to know if I was cut as a baby?” Ivar laid back on the floor and laced his hand with hers.  He looked at their joined hands and held them up to his line of vision before rolling his wrist. Why prolong the inevitable?  She was going to find out sooner or later.  He figured, if she could see his legs and be perfectly with fine them, odds were she'd okay with an unsnipped prick.  “No,  I was not.”  He laid her hand on his stomach with the laziest hint of a smirk on his face.

“Hmm. Interesting,” she responded wiggling her toes.  She chewed the inside of her lip for a moment then shrugged her shoulders.  “Okay,” she got up on her knees and knelt beside him.  Cash let her hands trail down his muscular stomach and found herself smile when she realized that he was ticklish in the spot between his navel and his waist. 

Carefully, her deft fingers slid under the grey waistband of his boxer briefs before she smoothed her hands around to his hips.  Slowly, she lowered the shorts down his legs, never once taking her eyes off of his.  Since Ivar couldn’t hoist his backside off the floor, he aided her by rocking from side to side as she continued to pull the garment down lower and lower. 

And there he was.  Ivar Ragnarsson in all of his birthday glory.  He was a sexy man.  It was the moment of truth and Cash didn’t quite know what to do or say. Was she supposed to comment or compliment?  Was she supposed to touch him or ask questions? There was so much she wanted to do, but she wasn’t sure if any of it was okay.  

“So?” Ivar placed one hand behind his head and the other on his chest.  “No witty observations?”

“Well, you already know you’re sexy, AF.”  She tilted her head and let her fingers trace the dark line of hair that traveled from his navel to the soft tufts at his groin. “But this…it’s different.”

“Different?  What the hell does that mean?” Ivar laughed.  “It looks the same to me.” 

Her eyes got big and she nodded, “Well, you’ve seen it before.  I haven’t…” She touched it.  It felt the same as others she’d held in her hands.  It was thick, had a nice length, and just the right amount of curve to it.  The bounce back, when she pulled it toward her and let it go, so that it slapped back against his pelvis, made a good sound.  By all accounts, it was a normal cock.  It was hard, and hot in her hands and she even noticed how Ivar’s stomach clenched when she made contact with it.  “So does it feel different?”

“Different than what?” He asked with a labored breath as she continued to hold and turn him over in her hand.  “It feels the same to me.”  Did she know what she was doing to him? She wasn’t jerking him or doing anything sexual, not really, merely touching and having a conversation with him.  It was such a turn on.  

“Let me show you.”  He removed his hand from behind his head and placed it on himself. Lifting his head, he attempted some sort of origami thing with the skin.  “This, I think, is what you are used to seeing.”  He rolled his eyes in his head and sucked his teeth, “Whatever.”  He released the skin and smiled.  “My way is much better.  Much more sensation.” 

“Oh, really?”  She was intrigued.  If she were being honest, it wasn’t the cutest one she’d ever seen.  But, that was because she just wasn’t used to it, yet. She was sure in a few days, she would think it was the hottest one she’d ever seen! “How so?”

“This part in there…feels everything, sometimes too much.”  He picked up her hand and placed it back on his swollen member, before closing his eyes at the feeling, “Sometimes, you have to touch it through the skin…”

“Like a clit?” 

Ivar shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know.  I do not have one of those.”  He let his hand travel up Cash’s thigh and settle right below her hip.  “If direct pressure is applied to you, does it make you,” he wound his hands to try to drive the words forward, “finish faster?”

Now it was Cash’s turn to shrug, “Honestly?  I’ve never had an orgasm with another person.”

“What?”  Ivar sat up, instantly regretting the warmth of her hand leaving his body.  “Are you serious?”  This was great!  Neither had he. But wait…if neither of them had, then this could be the worst awkward first sexual experience in the history of awkward first sexual experiences. They would either be eternally frustrated or their first sexual encounter could literally last indefinitely.  

“Yup. Not ever.”  Cash sat up on her knees so that he had full access to her hips. She placed her hands on his and watched as he slowly started to pull down her panties.  “I think the guys that I’ve been with think all women like the same things.  They don’t want to hear that you might want something different, or they just are in it for themselves. I just usually finish myself off.”

Ivar smoothed the lace down her thighs and held still as she used his shoulders to brace herself against him so she could lift each knee up to allow him to slide the material under her legs. 

He didn’t want to seem like a total pervert but he couldn’t help but look at her. She was right next to him with the most neatly trimmed Mohawk he’d ever seen.  “You’re into landscaping?”  He didn’t reply when she nodded.  Instead, he pressed his lips to her stomach.  “So, when you finish yourself off, do you do it alone or in front of others?”

“Like do I perform?”  She gently caressed his head, “It depends on how deserving the audience is.”  

God, he wanted her.  But, he needed to get one more thing out in the open before that could happen.  He wanted total transparency between them, once and for all.  “Me either.” 

He felt his head being lifted from her warm skin and but he immediately dropped his eyes in embarrassment, “I have never had an orgasm during sex.  The doctor thinks it was stress.”   

“That is so sad,” she wanted to hug him, but she didn’t want to make him feel bad.   She was used to it.  There were millions of women who never had and probably never will have an orgasm – so was the plight of being a woman. But for Ivar to never experience it?  He was too sweet a guy.  It nearly broke her heart. “Do you at least get anything out of it?”

“Yeah. I like giving pleasure to someone else.” He tried to sound upbeat, but it wasn’t exactly a happy subject for him.  What he was saying was true, he used to thoroughly enjoy making Freydis feel good. But, what about him? Didn’t he deserve to feel that way? Shouldn’t he get to experience an orgasmic high, at least once in his life?  At least one time that wasn’t self-inflicted? “ And it does feel good.”

“Do you finish yourself off?”

“Never in front of anyone.”  A devilish smile crept across Ivar’s face and when Cash saw that mischievous twinkle in those beautiful blue eyes, her face broke out in a smile, too.  

Ivar had had many sexual conversations with women before but never before had he had a sex conversation with his partner.  This whole thing, this talking and being together, looking at, touching, and getting to know about each other…all of this intimacy was amazing.  

It was scary as hell for both of them, but damn it all if it didn’t feel natural.  Even if their first time together wouldn’t be perfect, or they would have figure out who couldn’t do what because of physical limitations or just plain dislike, it would all pay off in the end.  Neither of them had a point to try to prove to the other or to themselves.  All they needed to do was enjoy each other.  Who cared if neither had an orgasm?  For the first time, they both were feeling something they hadn’t felt in a very long time.  They felt at home, and safe with each other.   

Cash closed the space between them and pressed her lips to his, “Bed or floor.” She laughed when he laid back and put both hands behind his head.  “Oh yea, carpet burns and group masturbation...I knew you were freaky.” 

Tags: @oddsnendsfanfics​  @a-mess-of-fandoms​​ @waiting4inspiration @simsadventures​ @chipster-21​  @tgrrose​  @alicedopey​   @thelastemzy​​  @naaladareia​ @alexa4040​ @absolutelynotanidiot​ @pokeasleepingsmaug​ @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme​ @skadithegoddess​  @dina-m16​  @tiyetiye​ @synnersaint​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings@moonlightsspirit​ @geekandbooknerd​​ @dreamlesswonder86​ @inforapound @youbloodymadgenius​ @cruelfvckingsummer​ @mummybear @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @honestsycrets @thatendymion @jzr201

[luckyjak]

Why I Don’t Ship Widojest: A Master Post

An anon sent me an ask about this topic, and I debated for quite a bit about how to answer it. Then I decided the best way was to do a long post like this. I put a lot of thought into why I don’t like it, and I thought to share it.

A few things: 1) I am not telling you not to ship it. The goal of this is not to say “Don’t ship Widojest! It is a bad ship and you are a bad person for shipping it!” That is not my goal, okay? The internet and fandom in particular is meant for fun, and if you enjoy Widojest then more power to you! Don’t let me or anyone else stop your fun! Lord knows I have shipped significantly more problematic things. All I ask is that you tag shit more but that’s beside the point.

2) I am not particularly interested in argument. You are not likely to change my mind. I am not trying to be hostile, but if you know reading this is going to piss you off, then don’t read it. A question was asked of me, and so I thought to share my opinion. Unfortunately for everyone involved I am a high school English teacher, and so I cannot think about anything without completely overthinking it.

About my shipping preferences: generally, I like all the ships! I was particularly fond of Widomauk before Molly died, and I now I really enjoy Shadowgast, but I also like Fjorclay, Fjester, Beaujester, Beauyasha, Widofjord, Clayleb, Lavorclay, and, as the only person on earth, Yasha/Caleb. Hell, if Astrid gets a good redemption arc? Caleb/Astrid or even Caleb/Astrid/Edowulf. Any of those ships could become canon and I’d be tickled pink! You can even throw Nott into the mix, even though I mostly ship her with her husband. Nott/Fjord? Delightful. Nott/Caleb? Weird flex but why not? Nott/Jester? Absolutely! They are the best detectives!

I just don’t like Widojest and I don’t want it to be canon, and here’s why:

Doyalist Reasons First:

1) Laura and Liam played twins for years, still act like siblings even though they aren’t related by blood, and it squicks me to think of them together romantically.

Laura and Liam are fantastic actors. If they were hired to play a romantic couple, I have no doubt in my mind they could knock it out of the park.

But why on earth would they want to pretend to be a romantic couple, in a game they both play for fun? 

It would be weird. I play D&D with several guys I consider my brothers, and I can’t imagine pretending to romance either of them in d&d for that same reason. It would be weird. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be weird for Liam and Laura. Maybe they are more dedicated to their RP, and they’d be able to push that aside for the sake of fictional romance. But for me, that would be the last thing I’d want to play, and I suppose I project that onto Laura/Liam.

2) A lot of “evidence” for the ship is the way Liam looks at Laura.

To which I say...did you watch Vox Machina?

That’s how Liam looks at Laura all the time. He’s the president of her fanclub. He’s her twinsie. He always looks at her with hearteyes. I have a hard time seeing that as “evidence” for him having feelings for her when...that’s just what his face looks like.

Now, for Watsion reasons:

3) It has all the benefits for Caleb, and none for Jester

Seriously. What does Jester get out of a relationship with Caleb?

Don’t say someone who understands her, because Caleb certainly doesn’t. In fact, the only person who routinely “gets” Jester is Beau. (see: their conversation on the ship.)

Lots of people accuse Widojest as being a Manic Pixie Dream Girl ship because...let’s be realistic, it has all the makings of one. Tortured, broody man meets young, innocent girl who teaches him to enjoy life once again? Wikipedia’s definition is “[girl with] eccentric personality quirks and are unabashedly girlish. They invariably serve as the romantic interest for a (most often brooding or depressed) male protagonist.” Guys, that is textbook Manic Pixie Dream Girl! It gets even worse because Jester’s character is a healer! You want her to heal him? That is squicky!

And yeah, I trust Liam and Laura to be more nuanced than that, but do you know who I absolutely do not trust to be more nuanced?

The fandom. The fandom that is already producing mass amounts of Manic Pixie Dream Girl fanfic. And as that’s where I spend a lot of my free time...egads. I do not want that.

The few Widojest fics I have read (which, admittedly, are not a lot, because again, I don’t like the ship. The few I have read have been tagged as gen and then come to find out, weren’t.) have the distinct problem of woobie-fying Caleb so that Jester can take care of him, and gosh, I do not want that to become a trend. 

4) Age Gap

Yes, thirteen years is not that major of an age gap. Yes, Fjord/Jester also have a large age gap.

However, there is a world of difference between “20 year old girl displays romantic interest in a 30 year old man, who decides he likes her back after getting to know her for months” vs “33 year old man decides to pursue a 20 year old woman after they danced one time when he was drunk and held hands and she showed general concern for his well-being.” One is decidedly more creepy.

(And would Jester be the one to pursue a relationship with Caleb? I almost think she’d have to, but again, why would Jester ever pursue Caleb when Fjord/Beau are right there.)

(Also, side note that I thought about making it’s own point but then decided it was petty: if Jester’s type is Fjord--tall, broad-shouldered, dark haired, muscled, then Caleb--skinny, red-head, shorter than Fjord--decidedly isn’t her type.

You know who is tall, dark, and handsome though? Beau.) 

And do not say Jester is mature for her age, because she absolutely isn’t! In fact, the whole point of her character is that she’s not mature, she’s very immature and childish on account of her being locked away and being incredibly sheltered most of her life! 

Also not a good excuse: Caleb spent 11 years in the asylum and therefore he’s only mentally in his 20s. Uh, no he’s not. He was in an asylum: he was not brain dead. He lived those years. He might’ve been crazy, but he was alive then. Nothing Liam’s done suggests that Caleb is mentally in his 20′s.

5) What would they even talk about?

This is probably actually the one that bothers me the most out of all these reasons, but uh....what would Caleb and Jester talk about, if they were in a relationship together?

Seriously.

They could talk about books? But Jester only ever reads terrible romance and smut. We saw when she tried to pay attention to the dunamancy lessons that she struggles to be interested in that academic stuff that is Caleb’s bread and butter. They could talk about their childhoods? That will go over well. Jester was locked away from society and Caleb straight up murdered his beloved parents. If they manage to avoid that, I’m sure they could fight again over income, what with Jester being a rich kid and Caleb being a poor farm boy. Pranking? Caleb enjoys a good prank now and again, but I can only imagine he’d tolerate getting banned from so many libraries.

They are a cat and a dog, literally. Caleb is an introvert and his idea of a good time is a quiet night at home with a good book. Jester’s idea of a good time is a party with lots of people! Yet I’m supposed to believe they’d have a happy and fulfilling relationship? Don’t get me wrong, many introverts and extroverts do get married in real life, but like...I have a hard time seeing this one working out. How many dicks do you think Jester draws in his spellbooks--which are expensive and time-consuming and require precise work--before that becomes a point of contention? 

6) He doesn’t trust her enough to tell her his secrets

Hey quick poll! Who in the Mighty Nein doesn’t know that Caleb murdered his parents?

Fjord. Caduceus. And look, Jester.

I have a hard time buying that he sees her romantically when he can’t even tell her one of the biggest things about him. And he’s known her for months at this point.

If I liked a guy, and I found out he had this big secret, and he had told Beau but not me this secret? I would think he didn’t trust me.

I suppose you could argue that he’s trying to protect her. But then that just goes back into the whole “he doesn’t trust her” argument. He even had the opportunity to and he didn’t during their whole hand-holding thing a few episodes ago!

7) What does their ending look like? 

Listen, my ideal ending for Caleb at the moment is “maybe after ten years of friendship he lets Essek tenderly hold his hand for just a moment but no longer” but that’s just me. I see a lot of people who seem to think Caleb’s going to settle down and marry Jester and they are going to have kids, and I just--

Caleb? Having children? Caleb, who murdered his parents and has severe PTSD surrounding that? Caleb, who was abused by his mentor daily for many years? You want to give that Caleb children??? Children who he would constantly worry may grow up to kill him, like he did his own parents, or worse, that he’d do something to accidentally hurt them in a fit of madness?

I could see Caleb maybe adopting a kid if one was forced onto him, but I cannot see him going “ah yes we should procreate!” 

Jester, meanwhile, needs like approximately fifteen kids ten years from now, I think. She’d love them. She’d just adopt an orphanage and let the kids run wild and be the best at playing games with them.

Also, character arcs are important. Because Caleb’s ideal ending is stability and Jester’s is exploration.

Caleb, traumatized child soldier who has spent the past 15 years in an asylum and also fighting for his life, and before that spent time traveling between the Zemni Fields, Ikithon’s home in the country, and the Empire’s Capitol, who then escaped the asylum and spent all of his time running, trying to avoid being caught by Ikithon. The best ending for Caleb is to find peace; peace that involves not having to move around anymore, and having a home again, something he hasn’t had in almost twenty years. Maybe that home is a tower in Nicodranas. Maybe it’s a house in Xhoras with six other people. Maybe it’s a quiet bookstore in Zadash, or a little cabin in the Zemni Fields. A garden/graveyard in the woods. Either way, it doesn’t involve a lot of travel from place to place.

Meanwhile, Jester, who was trapped in exactly one place for her entire life, deserves a chance to explore the world. Even when the Mighty Nein disband, I can’t see Jester being happy to just go back to Nicodranas and stay there for the rest of her life. She may settle down eventually, but uhhh, not for several decades, I don’t think. Part of why my two big ships for her are Fjord and Beau: Fjord wants to be a sailor again, I think, which involves travelling the world, so I could see Jester going out with him. Beau, likewise, is an Expositor whose job is to seek out corruption, which again, means travelling, which Jester would be happy to do with her. Hell, the three of them could go together, sailing and punching evil for all of time! It would be great!

(Also: her god is called the TRAVELER why would you want her to settle down and be a mom??? What part of her story makes you think she needs to stay in one place?)

Lastly

I apologize if this post offends anyone. I’ve just been thinking about it for a while, and while Widojest as a ship has surged in popularity, I suppose I wanted to make a counterpoint about my feelings towards the ship. This isn’t meant as an attack on anyone, again, and please, if you like the ship then don’t look at this as a reason to stop liking it! Fandom is for fun! Keep liking what you like!

And I can’t promise I’m always going to feel this way about the ship--hell, the VOD of Thursday’s episode may come out on Monday, and I may watch it and be converted myself. Who knows! I didn’t like Vax/Keyleth at first either, but it grew on me and now it’s one of my favorites from Vox Machina.

(ALTHOUGH Mr. O’brien I swear to God if you romance Jester while flirting with Essek in a direct parallel to Keyleth/Vax/Gilmore I’m going to fly to LA just to punch you.)

Part of me wonders too if it just comes down to character interpretation, if there is something about their characters that is clicking for some people but isn’t for me. Admittedly, I love Caleb and Jester’s friendship, and I see them more as growing like siblings that romantically, but I’ve been wrong before and who knows, I may be wrong again. But if it is a character interpretation, I just wonder what they are seeing about the characters that squicks me but appeals to them.

[luciens-one-and-only-sea-otter]

Five Otome/Romance Game Men I Adore

Hai hai many thanks for thinking of me for this tag game @justine-the-guillotine !!

 I always feel pressure to do these things perfectly, even though it’s just talking about things I like :’) so please bear with me in my, probably, screaming appreciation. I’ve been thinking of a list a characters for a whole day and honestly I’m suddenly blanking,,, who do I adore? lol who knows,,, Well actually you are about to know cause I am going to tell you LOL. OkAY. Enough of this blabbering, onto the list of many mens.

Please know I am excluding Lucien (MLQC) because it is obvious that I adore him to a fucking fault. If you want to see me do a whole appreciation about those him just hmu in my asks or message me and I will go on for days bby

This list is in no way order of most to least adored, I physically could not make that kind of decision jkdfjksdfh. ALSO PLS KNOW I DO SWEAR LIKE A FUCKING SAILOR AND I TALK OF SMUSHING LOVELIES OFTEN. IT”S JUST MY PERSONALITY SO SHHHHH IF YOU DON”T LIKE IT DON”T READ IT BOO, THAT SIMPLE!

Takeda Shingen (Ikemen Sengoku) - Okay, I will be honest, I was very skeptical of sengoku period romance games because I had played some in the past,,, but holy shit, Shingen blew me away. He quickly rose up the ranks of otome men in my heart, and I think about him at least once a day now. I related so much with his MC because it was so hard not to lust and swoon over that man. I have no idea how or when I fell hard for him but it happened and I am not mad at all. I self insert so much with my games,,, and it’s easy for me to slip my real feelings into my fantasies. And honestly I really wish I could have Shingen IRL, ~~though I’m sure I would absolutely freak out and hide under a rock if he ever paid me any attention. He represents the perfect man, lover, and husband to me; he’s on a god level kind of man. Shingen is compassionate, knows boundaries and has never restricted MC from doing anything she loved (without good reason), he’s reliable and strong in a way that makes my heart melt. AND  LET’S NOT FORGET HOW FUCKING BRILLIANT THIS MAN IS, HE IS SO FUCKING SMART AND I WISH CYBIRD LET US SEE HIS EXTREME INTELLIGENCE MUCH MORE,,,, He’s just so damn perfect it is near infuriating how good of a man he is. He fits my normal type so well; me saying “Tall, Handsome, Flirtatious, Sexy as Fuck and Infuriating” might of as well have been about Mr Takeda “I’ll marry you and give you everything for one smile” Shingen. I also really like characters that are loyal to their loved ones (yes in contrast to my bastard villain type kink, I also love those who show loyalty and devotion to the people they love) Shingen does more than enough of all of and I really do look up to him as a person and model for character,,,,, oh gods, and the way I imagine he would make sweet baby making love to ---*cough cough* ALRIGHT LETS STOP HERE BEFORE THIS BECOMES A WHOLE ASS SHINGEN APPRECIATION POST!!!

Sirius Oswald (Ikemen Revolution) - I’m really tempted to just insert a daddy kink meme and leave it at that,,,, He is my absolute top otome man, or rather,,, one of my top “I wish you were real and we were married” men. As much as I whore around and claim to love a new man the most (besides Lucien because they’re on the same level now) every week,,, I will always come back to Mr. Flower Daddy. He holds such a precious spot in my heart, I can only try to explain the things that he makes me feel. Like a giddy school girl in love for the first time, but in this story they end up together. High school sweetheart kind of love that lasts till they’re old and wrinkled with time. Gods, thinking about Sirius makes me sob and my wallet sob harder . I must have a thing for men who keep denying their affections for MC (aka me self insert) because of things like responsibility, friendship, being labelled an old geezer,,etc. I have played his route about eight times over (probably) by now, it’s a little upsetting that his route wasn’t as spicy as his side content. Please Cybird, let Mr. Flower Daddy be the sexy and dramatic man he can be. I love the way he cares for others, how hard he works to achieve the bonds and peace he has now for not only everyone he loves, but for the country they all live in as well. His many layers intrigue me, seeing his reactions as well ughhhh I love this man so fucking much, how do people irl deal with love like this? I’m sitting here dreaming over Sirius Oswald,,, and his,,, big hands,,, Never have I held such large and terrifyingly real emotions and lust for an otome character. The man just screams let daddy take care of you baby but also let daddy wreck your pretty whore mouth, little lady or maybe that’s just me projecting my kinks onto this pure (lol) man. Not only is his body, heart, and morals absolutely stunning, HE IS ANOTHER INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT BEING AND I CANNOT STRESSSSS HOW MUCH I FIND SMART PEOPLE INCREDIBLY SEXY AND THE WAY HE USES HIS TALENTS TO SUBTLY AID HIS LOVED ONES UGHHHHHH I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE. GODS PLEASE LET ME BREAK INTO THE SIXTH DIMENSION AND MARRY THIS MAN!!!! 

Kent (Amnesia Memories) - OKAY LET ME JUST SAYYYY HE IS THE BIGGEST BABY AND BIGGEST MAN AT THE SAME TIME AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS IDC BUT HIS OUTFIT IS THE SHIT!!! FUCK YOU BELT HATERS!!! His outfit and his love slaps like the wholesome man he is. Absolutely I would love to h*ld his h@nds and give him the best smooches I can give. Because that is what he deserves. I really loved this game, growing to love Kent was easy despite his big brain fucker throwing math questions at me from time to time. I’m not sure what makes me like Kent so damn much, but I do and that’s what matters skjdfdskjfh. He is so damn precious,,, you all know those  “you so fucking precious when you smile” song video thingies? That is exactly how I feel about Kent. He’s so damn precious I want him to be happy always. And I will fight anyone who bullies him hnnn. 

Myeong Hwi aka Theodore Wilson + Lee Gun Wook aka William Harris (Mystic Code) - Mystic Code used to be one of my favs, till they did the whole updating and redoing the story thing, with no full voiced lines etc (I really hope they bring that back). But two stood out to me the most was Captain Wilson and Lieutenant Harris. Both have very strong personalities and care for the greater good, and thick as fuck lets be real with that dom energy . I adore men with strong and noble (?? is this the right word??) personalities and also possess a compassionate heart. As Theo is with the MIU team members and Will is with MC. 

Theodorus Van Gogh (Ikemen Vampire) - whoallowedthismantobethisfuckingattractiveandlegal??????  *insert his magic mike CG* I have played Theo’s route in JP a few times, once to completion but knowing him in the EN version I am already absolutely in love with this man. How this came to be? Maybe it’s his bittersweet personality, the way he cares for MC in the same way Sirius does, but he’s a bit more brash about it than Sirius. I absolutely adored his character growth in his route and as you get to know him better he opens up more and more, ahh the tsundere is quite the cute trait XD. He is strong willed and passionate, he is caring of his loved ones, he is loyal to his family, blood or found, and he is an absolutely attentive loving person. Why ask for more when you can just love Theodorus Van Gogh? He is the absolute softy packed into a large brooding and brash package with a shiny 8-pack abs that I wish to slather maple syrup on and lap up for the love of----  for someone who loves pancakes so much. And I very much admire his drive to do what he wants and needs to do to the absolute best of his ability. His will to thrive for the best he can get has me swooning. He truly is a breath taking man,,, whether that be because he is being a complete sweetheart all of the sudden or he’s whipping you some nasty insult that is itching for a rebut.

Alright, that’s it! I cheated a little lololll but there aren’t any rules so >;3c I can do as I wish. 

I uhhhhhhh don’t interact with many other otome blogs T^T (but maybe you can change that hwehwe) so I won’t be tagging anyone. However, if you do see this and want to join in and tag your friends pls do!!! Share the love, pass it on, scream about more 2D mans.