#I AM INHALING THIS
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Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.
At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little
You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)
Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right
So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?
Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)
Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)
Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass
Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)
My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?
Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO
So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.
Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.
Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))
But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...
Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.
But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.
But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)
Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.
The only question is, how would Robin take that?
Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good
So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.
Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.
And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.
What's she going to do?
EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Nico Robin#THIS POST WAS AN ACCIDENT. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. WHY DID I WRITE THIS. WHAT DEMON POSSESSED ME#I'm sure someone's written this already right#Right#Surely this fanfic already exists#Please tell me it exists#I dunno what to tell you I am not immune to a Juicy AU#Anyway on a more wholesome side of things: Robin accidentally calling Crocodile ''dad'' and he just inhales and swallows his whole cigar#Nearly chockes to death. Gets burns on his throat.#Robin feeling less alienated because of her DF ability because Croc has seen weirder AND is made of sand himself#If anything if they're literally by themselves then Robin being able to literally lend a hand to Croc at any time could be extremely useful#Like. In regular life situations. 'Cause Croc only has one hand. And Robin as many as she wants. Perfect duo.#(Also if they were travelling on like a small ship then it'd probably be built for a Tall Motherfucker like Croc right)#(Robin's ability would just make the ship more accessible to her and Croc would find that independence good)#Robin still gets a codename because Croc can't have anyone realize who she is. Maybe she even wears like a mask or summin' in public#If Crocodile's openly trans and the news of him transitioning recently broke out. Like. No avoiding that convo eh#Baby Robin's like ''...I read in a book once that some reptiles can change sex but I didn't know crocodiles could do it too''#''💦.../Humans/ can't do that normally either''#''Hmmmm. Weird. I don't think being a girl would suit you though'' // ''...I'll take that as a compliment''#I just. I think they could have really cute interactions if they warmed up to each other after a little while#And I'm Extremely Normal about that
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If i was smarter than i currently am, i would write a long and thoughtful passage about parallels between Caduceus and Fjord, the weight of responsibility on their shoulders, placed there from a very young age, about family (Via blood and otherwise) and its importance, involuntary loneliness and enduring hardship all by yourself, concluding with the fact that they discovered kinship and family within each other which is really no surprise after all. But sadly, i'm not, so for now i'm gonna lament amazing dynamic that they had, which seems to be lost and forgotten by most in favour of other more romance leaning relationships. A shame, really. Will always be one of my favourites, this one.
#Caduceus Clay#Fjord Stone#sorry king needed the surname#or#fjord tusktooth#?#cr fjord#the mighty nein#critical role#cr2#can you tell that i'm inhaling cr comics one by one?#text post#the mighty nein origins#gosh you have no idea how sad i am because with each reunion it seems#like they're more and more further apart from each other#PLEASE GIVE ME FJORD AND CAD CASUALLY CONVERSING AND LAUGHING WITH EACH OTHER#That's all that i want!!!#PLEASE
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NATM Text Posts; Part 2/???
#I am hilarious I know#Some of these aren’t that funny actually but I hate posting short posts#Natm textposts#Natm textpost#Natm#night at the museum#Okay I have to tag all this. *deep inhale*#natm sacagawea#natm ahkmenrah#ahkmenrah#natm Larry#larry daley#natm rexy#Natm Cecil#Natm gus#Natm Reginald#Natm octavius#natm Jedediah#jedtavius#natm teddy roosevelt
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hey isn’t it funny how all of hyrule’s chosen heroes have been complete bastards? wonder where they got it from...
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu art#lu memes#lu sky#lu warriors#lu wild#lu legend#lu wind#lu twilight#lu time#lu hyrule#lu four#lu chain#sky is canonically a Bastard#and i won't let any of you forget that#also i am very proud of sky's face in the last panel#i think i managed to capture the emotion of 'inhale through the teeth'#g3 does an art
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that old man yaoi brainrot got me good, folks
#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#so the story I imagine with this one is#they start making out sloppy style (obvs) while logan is smoking a cigar on the fire escape (wade just cannot resist)#and neither one of them notices until the cigar burns down to logan's fingers#then they resurface for air coughing and spluttering from all the smoke they've been inhaling and exhaling#does this count as shotgunning?#shotgunning#cigar shotgunning even?#deadclaws#the wolverine#deadpool x wolverine#old man yaoi#old man yaoi brainrot on full display#I fear there is no cure and I must be tranquilized and released into a new habitat for my own good#but alas I am my own zookeeper and I don't wanna#so here we are#deadpool art#wade wilson#logan howlett#let those old men kiss sloppy style#and yes they are wearing each other's colors but with little bits of their own (lines in Logan's flannel and drawstring on Wade's hoodie)#and yeah they can smoke as much as they want because regenerative healing and wade is already like 50% cancer#what could happen
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finally free to draw pooki snooki again 🙌
#draw konig like im taking a breath of an inhaler#FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK#könig#i am once again trapped in a loving loop of trying to capture the uncanny essence of his creepy eyes#my art#call of duty modern warfare 3#call of duty modern warfare#konig#konig mw2#konig call of duty#fanart
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kissing all over Foul Legacy's face until he's melting under your touch, already crimson mask turning an even deeper burgundy as he purrs lazily. he leans against your hands, nudging and pleading for more attention with soft whines and chirps. when you scritch behind his horns he practically flops over, tilting his head this way and that so you can get all the best spots, a pile of Abyssal moth mush. it's a surefire way to put him to sleep, leaving him a rumbling puddle in your arms.
of course Childe pouts vehemently afterwards, resting his chin against your shoulder until you also give him smooches, littering his freckles with tiny pecks. only then does he soften and laugh, gently gripping your wrists to hold them in place. his cheeks squish so wonderfully under your hands as he practically snuggles into your palms, deep azure eyes finally alight with softness and adoration.
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#gi ajax#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#genshin x reader#childe x reader#*inhales* I'M BUSYYYYY ARGHHH#i have another thing tomorrow#and i need to prepare the best i can#because i am very nervous#short scenario#wifi's brainrot#good evening
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new copy ability: burnt out AP student kirby
#i am doig this instead of my homework#it was zooming in my head all day#i have a test tomorow#but its ok because kirby#he is studying for his phd for doctor ability#inhale a burnt out overachiever ap studrnt this is what you get#kirby series#kirby#copy abilities#meta knight#veves ultra cool art
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Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully in every episode of The X Files
#the x files#dana scully#gillian anderson#txf#x files#do you love the colour of dana scully?#it's done! and I only cried nine times whilst making it!#my laptop is literally wheezing right now#as am i - i should probably take my inhaler actually#but its done its done im so happy its done#this might just be my magnum opus#is it good? no. did it take literally everything out of me? 100%#GA gifs#my gifs#xf gifs
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albus "I hope I die first, because I can't live without you" potter
and
scorpius "I hope I die second, so I can save you from that grief" malfoy
#i spent a very long time debating which way around they would be#had me sweating#do you love someone so much you cannot live without them#or love them so much you hope they never have to live without you#personally am the first ✋🏻 my fiance better fucking die after me i cannot be doing that#i know im fucking jinxing it rn#absolutely horrendous we cannot die at exactly the same time im suing#if we do die together in a car crash or smin just know that that is the best case scenario for us lmfao#jilys death is honestly the dream 🤞🏻😍 take us out together or dont take us out at all#i cannot imagine scorbus dying seperately im gonna be honest#imagine one of them at the others grave im going to throw up#absolutely not#headcanon that they die by fucking up a potion or even just dinner and setting their house on fire and dying of smoke inhalation together <#hashtag romance 😍😍😍😍😍😍#scorbus#hpcc#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#harry potter#its 6am i havent gone to sleep yet hope this is coherent 😚😚#harry potter and the cursed child#albus severus potter#scorpius hyperion malfoy
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everyone has to pick a franklin expedition crew member to write a self insert novel about (your call on romance or not) and i call torrington and jartnell (theyre a set). my self insert is taking them shopping at the mall and then we are going to a frat party where jorrington will learn about vaping and jartnell will learn about standing awkwardly in a kitchen.
#i am also getting jorrington an asthma inhaler for his emphysema#should he be vaping with his elderly lungs? well no but hes nineteen give him a break#franklin expedition#tmot is going well. and by well i mean a little insane
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some of my fave bakugo fics in honour of bakuday 🥺 (most, if not all, of these are in ao3! which is why i'm listing them. other fave fics of mine that can be found on tumblr will be reblogged!)
you can find other bakugo fics i love in my tag: #katsu
i like to call myself wound but i will answer to knife - kirketeer enemies to lovers, requited unrequited love, kind of love triangle
surrender (whenever you're ready) - ofmermaids florist reader, canonverse, slowburn
on my way (to you) - ofmermaids 5+1, canonverse, time travel
and you take me the way i am - willowser assistant reader, slice of life, bakugo is bad at feelings
how to set fires - hawnks strangers to lovers, canonverse, food as love language
organic chemistry - kirketeer codependency and unlearning it, mutual pining, college au ish
here is my hand that will not harm you - natsuonii bodyguard au, mild violence, mentions of scars
in the dark of the morning, you promise me the sun - kirketeer character death (not the main characters), grief/mourning, slow burn
dry spell - willowser established relationship, semi-public sex, miscommunication
for auld lang syne - some-kindofgnome canonverse, near-death, drinking
you feel like home (you're like a dream come true) - willowser light angst, kind of exes to lovers?
i do not know if i should hold you or eat you - katsukiz hurt/comfort, soft sex
love to say this to your face: "i love you only" - willowser dragon king bakugo, arranged marriage, a little drunk
#these are the ones off the top of my head!!! tho i know there are a bajillion others i adore#most of the others i am also going to be reblogging!! these are just the ones i cant find here/know ive read from ao3!#so many writers have written bakugo so very beautifully#and there are so many fics of his that i adore and have reread so many times#im pretty sure ive cried reading each and every one of these lmao#the theme here is mostly hurt/comfort-y also#THERE IS ALSO SO MUCH WILLOW BC I INHALE WILLOW'S STUFF SDBGKL#fic recs#hbd katsuki!
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HAPPY LESBIAN DAY FARCILLE NATION
#*inhales*...YUUUUUUUURI!!!#god i am so excited to watch this episode#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#farcille#marcille donato#fallin touden
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randomss
#solo leveling#alvory's art#*inhales*#cha hae in#woo jin chul#sung jin woo#the architect#baruka#igris#i discovered ice elf man...i am now obsessed#gaslighting myself that i didn't get spoiled
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Ascension
#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#miquella#elden ring dlc#elden ring spoilers#eclectic post#tarnished#....am I really going to tag every single relevant corpse in this image#I really shouldn't#....#[deep inhale]#needle knight leda#moore#dryleaf dane#redmane freyja#hornsent#messmer#romina saint of the bud#divine beast dancing lion#rellana twin moon knight#and various warriors and knights of various allegiances#whew#I still haven't actually beaten the final boss yet btw. but I'm close#and I spent two months on this DLC so I wanted to make something cool to commemorate my journey#I'm quite proud of it!#anyways that's all from me#have a good night everyone
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🚬bonus
#tangerine was so stressed out#one Inhale one exhale alright i am done#bullet train tangerine#aaron taylor johnson#bullet train movie
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