#I AM FUCKED UP TODAY GODDAMN
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"hey Masky how do you feel about the v9 finale?" well-
GOIN ABOUT AS WELL AS IT CAN
#masky says#rwby v9#rwby v9 spoilers#I AM FUCKED UP TODAY GODDAMN#wife n i are finally gonna binge the whole season this sunday#BUT WOWIE AM I BROKEN :D#I GOT MY CRUMBS BUT AT WHAT FUCKIN COST....#his quiet 'i know. im not real.'#the way its both Neo finally getting her closure for the death of the one person who loved her as her-#-and her getting to finally let go and learn how to be on her own#im honestly really glad Neo's story ended this way??? cause it DOES leave room for her to actually come back#but she doesnt HAVE to#she can choose now. and if she chooses to join Roman then its her own choice#i was so happy we got Roman's appearance but im realizing the reason i wanted it so bad-#-was because it gives Neo the final chance to both say goodbye AND move on#AND SHE FUCKIN DID IT AND IM BROKEN OVER IT#MY GOD HE IS SO SOFT WITH HER#I DONT CARE IF THATS JUST AN ILLUSION ITS STILL HER ROMAN GODDAMN IT
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Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#they just wanted a nice bow#the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows#i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk#okay a lot is an exaggeration. still#need some guys being buds content sometimes#weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre#i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably#esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore#but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't#unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so āāmissed meāā and couldnt deliver my specialty meds#why must i get my meds through ups#because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company#ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment#tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month
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Please vote today
#thatās it#thatās the post#I bought wine for tonight and Iām not really a big drinker but I already want to unhealthily cope with today#another historic day Iām sure#fucking hate historic days#I hate crying#Iāve cried so much the past few days#hate the specific heaviness of being a millennial#if applicable to you#Iām exhausted#what am I supposed to do with two little girls if Trump wins?#fuck anyone who makes me feel the feeling of regret over having my babies#I already want to throw up or get blackout drunk or both#fuck anyone who votes for Trump#fuck anyone who chooses not to vote#fuck anyone who thinks abstaining from voting proves any kind of point#fuck anyone who votes for Jill Stein#fuck anyone who doesnāt vote for Kamala Harris#the weight and enormity of this makes me feel like Iām going insane#I hate being so goddamn angry all the time
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As if I wasnāt enough of a simp then they had to go and give A God On Mars that sick drum line
#destiny 2#destiny#destiny the game#Warmind ost#I am weak for orchestrals with a rock beat Iām sorry#and this is definitely my go to writing any action for the Big Guy#like come on#you can smell the arrogance in those beats#and itās fucking HOT#because he can back that shit up#goddamn Iām so tired today#listen to me ramble#what a fucking Monday!
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helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuckā¢ļø three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3
some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it
#i am feeling. Better Than I Have In A While#you know! last night i was very unhappy that i would have to do this drive!#but after my 2 hour doze in the ihop parking lot#and a nice breakfast of crepes and tea w/ my book#i was feeling better and decided Fuck It. im gonna make myself enjoy this drive#im gonna take my goddamn time and really absorb my surroundings#by fuck i will stop at a rest stop and take a walk! and i did all of it!#life is actually worth it! glad to have continuous confirmation of that#its so nice to drive and actually see things#beautiful landscapes... wildlife... Geography...#instead of just Flat. Scrub. Brown. More Scrub. Dirt. Dead Scrub aka Tumbleweed. Boring Brown Hills. No Weather.#i can go outside the clouds are Full and the air is Fresh and birds are Singing and i am Alive#absolutely unprompted#i expect the feeling of realness to fade soon but i will enjoy it while it lasts!#and maybe if i feel it often enough it will outlast the disconnect!#now i think i am going to treat myself to a pork bun i just bought & get one of the nice beers from the garage#ive Earned It!#you all treat yourself to something you like as well. we have all earned it simply by existing!#you're here today! Yippee! indulge!#im feeling so fucking whimsical today... ill go work on setting up my extra monitor and figuring out how the fuck that works!#my mic has already arrived! i have hope that i will do a test stream Soon!
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Of all the things to give me a scare on Halloween, I really didn't expect My Boss to be one of them š«š«š«
#my guy. mr. higher up. sir. I AM WAITING AS FAST AS I CAN#WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME#THE GROUP TASKED WITH DOING THE THING... ARE COMPLETELY RESTRUCTURING. TODAY.#AN EMERGENCY ON YOUR TIME IS NOT A RUSH ON THEIRS. WE ARE JUST ONE OF SEVERAL FOLKS THEY SERVICE.#WHY. ARE. YOU. YELLING. AT. ME.#my guy. this thing you've been needing. you've been needing it Forever. a year and a half already. you can wait another fucking week!!!!#but no. i'm the one who's going to get all of the ire and rage just because you can't temper your expectations#sorry bucko. sometimes bueraucracy? moves at bureaucratic speeds.#i. don't.#know what.#to fucking.#tell you.#uu gggg hhhhhhh sorry tumblr friends im just.#this job is the best sometimes and the worst sometimes. i s2g.#i miss my old boss So Goddamned Much
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#ah fuck#the big sad is here#i need a hard fucking reset today#my cramps are killing me#my family is in the midst of an utter shitshow#my mind won't shut up#people keep giving me more information than i can handle#i am milliseconds away from a goddamn breakdown#i need to just go to sleep
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and itās all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if iāll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc iād done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#itād be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but iād processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#itās so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i wouldāve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and iād go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#itās so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#itās all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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#ok dude if my boss tries asking me one more time if im pregnant im gonna start throwing hands#i should have thrown hands the first goddamn time#i called in sick ONE day bc i had a terrible cold and she somehow took that as i must be not feeling well bc im pregnant????#ive never talked about having kids i dont want kids i am not pregnant and its NONE OF HER BUSINESS#shes insane#and then she asked me another day if i planned on having kids and i said no and she was like oh well theyre going to have to#let in more immigrants to make up for the kids you dont have#like?????? huh?#i said ok let em sounds great#and then she said well u better hope there will be robots to take care of u when ur older#as if her piece of shit son is gonna take care of her#and i said if the only reason to have kids is to make them take care of u when ur old then thats a terrible reason and im not doing it#she didnt like either of my answers and shut up real quick#and left it alone but then today she walks in the door and in front of the whole room asks again if im pregnant#like WHAT???? ur my boss u shouldnt be nagging me abt this shit#esp in light of. recent events#but just WTF???#im so done#rant#life with shannon#does anybody else have this fucking problem????
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Being disabled and relying on someone who sees you as a burden is not something I'd recommend
#atlas adventures#āyou're a legal adultā#āeither be grateful or get your own transportationā#i am grateful. you just make me late every goddamn time. i almost missed it two weeks ago because you can't balance your schedule#also. i'm autistic and got a d- in online driver's ed. i didn't even pick up my permit because anxiety + covid#also also. we don't have an extra vehicle even if i did have a license#āride the fucking show busā you're telling someone with clinical anxieth to call a service from out of town and so.ehow get the money to PA#she then told me to fuck myself no less than five times#yeah she gave me her phone to call my therapist because i've had no service for a WEEK but i knew i'd break her phone so i said no#then she screamed at me AGAIN to not expect her to pay the cancelation fee#this is literally your fault why WOULDN'T you pay it#if i don't get online after today it's because i killed myself because i already can't handle everything and this made everything worse
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vixen and i about to download honkai star rail for some fucking cyborg space cowboy who isnāt allowed to have a filthy mouth ššš
#iām actually on my way to the psych ward right now#because i cannot believe i'm downloading this game#and i cannot believe its for a man named BOOTHILL#ugH#i was making fun of boothill a few days ago and maisie literally said to me 'yeah but you wanna fuck a tv sooooo'#and goddamn it she's RIGHT#anyway this is where i am today#i wonder if i'll be able to save up enough pulls for him before his banner is over?????? probably#i literally Do Not Care for any other character in this game aside from him#like no one has caught my eye until now#stupid cyborg space cowboy#vixen and i were fucking killing ourselves this morning over boothill having a detachable cock LMAOOOOOOOOO#sigh#clari chatters#clari is Losing Her Mind :)
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ily bakugou katsuki u are the only thing that hasn't pissed me off today
#today i was basically told that i have to take all of my breaks at work back to back to back within one hour two hours after i clock in#which means that i don't get a break at all later during the night so i don't fucking Want that but i have no other choice because#i'm basically being cornered into doing it by one of the managers who texted my department lead and said i tried to get someone to#cover me for my break at āalmost 7 when everyone is going homeā which is a fucking lie i asked at 6#who the fuck wants to take all of their breaks in one hour two hours after they start their eight hour shift#i asked for someone to cover me at 6 because i had to use the bathroom really fucking badly and she was like#āwhy didn't you take them while the midshift was hereā the midshift has a three hour overlap with my shift and i have to be clocked in#for at least two hours before i take any breaks at all and i don't want to take all of my breaks at once that soon#ONE HOUR BEFORE MY COWORKER LEAVES#and like we both have stuff to do????#all three breaks two hours into my shift then nothing for the next six fucking hours funniest joke i've ever heard in my entire life#except it's not a joke because it's from a manager so if i don't do this stupid ass shit i could get disciplined or fired#because they don't want to send anyone to cover for me#you know what's even funnier? i am the ONLY PERSON scheduled for these fucking 2-10 shifts except for our full time guy#my other coworkers? 4-10. i don't want this fucking 2-10 shift get me the fuck OFF OF IT#EATS MY ENTIRE FUCKING DAY#i woke up at 8:30am this morning and it still felt like my entire goddamn day was stolen from me because i wake up have time to myself for#about 5 hours out of my whole day then i have to get ready and get my ass to work until the end of the fucking day#tag rant#tag vent#bakugou katsuki#i feel like this is something i should call my union rep about but idk
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Sevenās Public Diary#wish i wasnāt so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#iām so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i donāt like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but itās like my body was fucking built for that or something#i donāt like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didnāt need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didnāt get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap wouldāve been fine and i wouldāve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and iāll either give in and attempt to take a ānapā and itāll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or iāll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and iāll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i donāt know how much longer theyāre gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think thatād like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. iām addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc itās all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnessesā symptoms#like a soft reset.#and itās the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) thatās enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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i think thereās some thing wrong with meeee
#ha. haha. I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE#WHY CANāT I JUST DO MY GODDAMN WORK#FUCK#ITāS BEEN LITERALLY UPWARDS OF AN HOUR#IāVE DONE FUCKING NOTHING#IM ON THE BRINK OF FAILING THIS CLASS AND MY BRAIN JUST GOES YEAH SORRY IM NOT FEELING IT TODAY#WELL YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH I AM NEVER FUCKING FEELING IT#SUCK IT UP!! OKAY SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO DO THINGS THAT ARENT FUN. LET ME DO MY LATE WORK YOU PATHETIC PINK BLOB.#god. i need to start taking adderall or something.#rambling
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whenever a guy approaches me i start wishing i had a giant forehead tattoo that reads "I AM NOT & WILL NEVER EVER BE INTERESTED LEAVE ME ALONE PERMANENTLY" so i could flash it at them
#you know since i have bangs#just leave me alone freakazoid LEAVE ME ALOOOONEEEEE#they always say i seem scared Hm probably because i am now PISS OFF#guy two days ago ( skipping today & had a free day yesterday ) entered the same class as me & tried to chat me up#did not look back at him or bother to remember his name but i shook his hand:-/ i feel compelled to not leave people hanging#felt like self immolating after He was like are you always this stiff & quiet you seem scared do you have problems#yes i do & that problem is you FUCK OFF & now he knows my name & face but IDK his i am so goddamn retarded#i just kept answering in shrugs & IDKs but what i should have done is use my FFP ( Foreigner Face Privilege ) & pretend not to understand#but since i am an english major he would have just switched to bothering me in english UGHHH WHY CAN I NOT SAY NO#i feel really disgusted with myself RN#skipped today because i am too freaked out about everything trying to come down from heart palpitations i really hate when this happens#i always feel too anxious to go after i wish i lived in a female only world but also i feel really ugly lately too#which means it should be illegal for me to go outside#also i missed my bus right by like 5 seconds the moment i was about to cross the road it flashed away so...#i took it as a sign to not go ( after waiting for ~15+ minutes... sorry i am a quitter but not that fast )
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Speaking of retcons. What fans does Liam have to manipulate? Liam has always been the least popular member of 1D and what fans he did have disappeared when his 2018 album got yanked. You can tell that because his most popular music required GP interest. Plus he canāt sustain a UA and thereās no one defending him on Twitter. Every thing goes viral because there arenāt enough accounts to muddy the algorithms with other tweets. Itās the least believable thing Maya has said. That and her descriptions of his team as powerful. A powerful and manipulative team looks like Harryās. Theyāve been sweeping his indiscretions into a very dark corner for years. One day theyāll come spilling out and heāll have his Diddy moment. His team will have made their money so they wonāt care.
#this is a word salad of hella nonsense#i'll give a few high point answers since you asked--i guess?#1. for whatever fucking reason liam DOES have fans#they are ALL OVER twitter screaming free him and shitting on women like the very best most loyal 1D-ers tend to be right down to today#2. none of these men can seemingly earn a dedicated UA from what i can see which is no surprise since they broke up 10 years ago#(relationship UAs don't count--that's a whole other world but individual ones? i'm friends with the fashion ones#and THEY aren't bothered 'even with' harry lmao)#3. see above about twitter--yes women have come forward talking about what a shitty abusive person Liam is for the gross things he's DM'd#but he has a massive following on twitter and you would goddamned know it/see it (even I am seeing it)#4. and listen harry HAS had women come out and say some pretty damning shit about him#was it abusive? no#was it gross? yes#did anyone listen? no and that was because ewww women...total pick me's cunts etc#u shouldn't listen to them (or Lou T etc)#don't even get me started on how weird it is to act like you can say wahh he's closeted which means he somehow CAN'T treat women like shit#he can--he has--he does! look at who he hires! treats his 'girlfriends'! pick someone supportive amirite! hashtag goals!#but wow the sad trombone louie of it all just bleeds through this ask...it's been a while and anyway ANYWAY here's a UO to get you awf:#i don't think harry styles has been on the 'giving' end of a diddy-style party but the receiving end? MAYBE SO RECEIPTS
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