#I AM A FREAK PERIOD

[techwearfreak]

i love being a little attention needy freak. i crave attention and love and affection AND i am a freak six ways from sunday.

like look at me

what im into is not illegal nor do i and/or we have any of the big three paras but its not . normal. like its strange and freaky as fuck and everyone would call me weird for it if i was open bout it. thats why its a secret im takin to the grave. except for like our fp who shares the same freakiness with me (except i am winning the freak contest)

i love being a freak !!!! thank you one of our exes that tried to call it as a insult. you have began the origin of something awful. me

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[amywritesthings]

writers! do not! owe you! updates!

this is not tiktok. we are not content mills. we are posting our stories -- oftentimes short story or novel-length -- for FREE.

free. adverb / without cost or payment.

you get these stories (not content, they are actual stories people write out of their own blood, sweat, and tears) without having to pay a singular fee or monetary transaction. these authors often have day jobs or university or both. they even have families! children! pets! social lives! if we have other things going on or simply do not have the brain power, then we do not owe you our time nor our energy for updating our stories or wips or ideas we throw onto the dash or ao3.

i am fortunate that i haven't gotten a demanding anon in a minute, but i am so sick of watching my mutual writers get harassed about their update schedules. the ironic part is that you're only making us not want to write said update when you demand more. not ask, not hope, but demand.

learn some empathy, and above all else: learn to be less of an anonymous coward demanding someone's free time for yourself.

[land-of-solace]

tell me why I gasp and sit at the edge of my seat every episode as if I haven’t been reading the pjo books religiously for over a decade

[nocturusvulpus]

I may be a bit late to the trend but I wanted to make my own spin on this Featuring my favourite Beast ship <3

[awkward-sultana]

Sümbül still does that frantic little hand thing he did when Hürrem was a teenager and wasn't quick enough to stand when anyone in the royal family entered a room😭

[rouge-fauna]

[seraphimankh]

Alright this is going to be a very long post, but I’m going to make it here because I have to place down some ✨boundaries✨ because y’all can’t seem to behave on this damn app.

Last night was not okay. Period. I hope you all know that I do this for fun. I work 8 hours a day, and when I get home and want to have fun here. And when I get messages harassing me because of many things, it takes the fun out of it and makes me absolutely not want to be here.

I do apologize if I sound defensive and mean. I have a very hard time reading tone through text, so sometimes I can’t tell if you’re joking with me or being absolutely genuine. I’ve had a really bad history of harassment on here so I really take no shit when it comes rudeness.

That being said we’re gonna have some discussion about things that were said last night.

1. Asks. Anon will not be on until further notice. It seems because you can hide yourself you can come in and yell at me, be rude, etc. Nope not anymore. If I do not answer your ask immediately it could be many different things. I could want to draw something in response so it might take a bit, I could be at work, I could not have the right response at the moment and need to think about it, or I just don’t want to answer. I am not entitled to reply. I am only human, and I don’t know why some of you don’t have the empathy to think that, and send things that make me upset.

2. The Story. I’m sorry, but in the ao3 tags it does say ‘retelling’ aka a retelling of the Wizard of Oz in MY own way. It’s not anything new, so if you’re upset that I might have it end the same way the movie/the musical/ the book ends, then maybe this fic isn’t for you. I made this because I wanted to share my own twist on things, and don’t get me wrong I love each and every comment. It makes my day, but at the end of the day it’s my writing. It’s my choices. And if you don’t like it, simply don’t read. I’ve backed out on many good fics just because I didn’t like certain aspects. Doesn’t mean they’re suddenly terrible. It’s just not my cup of tea.

3. Characters. Certain characters will have certain endings. It’s really sad when I say I only have 3 chapters left of this fic and everyone already thinks they know the characters fate. I had a plan, a tentative one to make a sequel where everything is new and doesn’t go by the formula of the the movie, but at this rate if you all just want to yell and whine at me because things don’t go the way you want them to, I probably won’t write it. That being said, if a characters fate goes one way, let it be. It’s fiction. Not real. I have this happen for a reason, and arguing with me won’t change it. It will just frustrate me. So please respect that.

That’s pretty much all I can think to say. Just remember to be kind here. I’m a person, not a machine who just pumps out writing. I’m not getting paid to do this, I am doing this for fun and want to HAVE fun on here. I won’t delete this blog but if it ever gets like that again, I might.

My mental health is far more important than some silly blog on here that was meant to just post my art and talk about things that I love.

I appreciate all the nice comments and replies being said, and I hope everyone does have a good day. I’m sorry I had to put the adult pants on, but things really needed to be said here.

[themintman]

I am filled with HATE and SORROW y'all know how like Nurm is my favourite character my number 1 guy out of any piexe of media ever I love him dearly which sucks cause he's pretty unpopular but whatever whatever. N I'm like "man I really want to see some new Nurm content but everything I find I've either seen before or I created ☹️" and then I. I go on tiktok and I KEEP seeing edits that start with a clip with Nurm in them and then haha surprise it's actually a Petra edit!! Cause it's ALWAYS PETRA GOD DAMN IT and I love her. I love Petra so much. She is a fabulous character but ohm y god I am tweaking. I genuinely started crying y'all I am not sane nor normal. I'm so normal about him. Oh my good god I am going insane I am 💥💥💥💥

[artbyace]

u know ur a freak when ur friends are like OMGGG THATS DISGUSTINGGG and ur like what and then they describe someone doing one of the Most Tame things ever

[moldypoff]

Sicc, thicc, and sad

[kate-the1975]

Guys, I’m being so dead ass rn. Is period smut a no go on tumblr or are people into that….cause like, I’m into that, but I don’t know if other people match my freak, RAHHHH.

LIKE SHOULD I POST HER OR WHAT TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLS

[sweetsapphicpeach]

Is this a safe space...

[frottinggg]

coughs up blood. ffxv.......

[nabaath-areng]

The weirdest part about FFXIV for me now is that for years I considered myself a newbie. I was always around people who had played longer than me, both legacy and not, and with it also being my first ever MMO they all seemed so experienced to me.

... And here I am now, forgetting that I am in a sense closer to all those players I looked up to back then. Year after year I've seen fewer and fewer legacy mounts and titles, and as time goes by I am more and more shocked by how many I interact with who describe Shadowbringers as "the old days". And not only that, I realize then that 5 years IS a long time, and that all the things I keep thinking of as new and flashy (Gpose, job gauges etc) have been in the game longer than they have not.

Mind you, I became psychotic less than a year into my FFXIV career, and then I spent nearly a decade after that trying to heal from both that as well as the paranoia it left me with, so in a sense the years 2015-2022 might as well not have happened in terms of me remembering them in a way that matters. My vague measure of time between 2014 to 2019 in particular is only possible because I memorized FFXIV patches, since the game was practically the only thing keeping me both sane and alive. I cannot tell you what I did IRL in November 2015, but I can tell you what I did during patch 3.1.

And I guess that's why it all feels so mindfucky to me? It's not like I can look back at my years in FFXIV like normal memories, so realizing that 10 years have passed in what to me felt like the blink of an eye, and then having to reconcile with my self perception and reality not quite adding up... it just makes it feel so weird? It kinda feels like waking up from a time bubble, where everyone else has lived normally and you have to adapt super fast to keep up with the changes you barely have time to process.

In a strange sense, many of the people I knew and loved at the time feel like fuzzy figures to me. Some of them I cannot even recall the names of, and some I remember nothing except for their names. I know they were real, because I have screenshots of us playing the game together... but it still feels very little like they're my own memories. It's not like amnesia, but I don't know how to describe it.

They're kind of like the Warrior's of Light who vanished during the Calamity as described in ARR. I know these people were there, and I know that they saved me when everything seemed hopeless... and yet when I try to recall their faces, all I see is light behind silouettes. When I try to say their names, they disappear on my tongue.

And it feels so shitty, because why wouldn't I remember people who were super close to me? But that was the nasty thing with being psychotic, I was so caught up with being constantly in terror, and being unable to determine what was real or not, that even the good things aren't more than vague flickers of light amidst the hopeless darkness I was in. I can barely claim to be the same person, because those years stole "me" for lack of a better way of putting it.

I feel like I came out of that situation a completely different person, someone who is ultimately more "real"... but that makes me question whether the people I held dear actually knew me. They knew a broken down person bearing my name, but I don't recognize that person at all. It was practically a stranger behind the wheel veering off the road over and over again and causing more damage to the vehicle itself.

And it sounds so stupid, I know, but FFXIV sincerely was my sole lifeline. It was the only normal thing... and yet it didn't shield me from the repercussions of losing my sense of self, as is evident in hindsight now that I'm out of the abyss that was my abode for years. It's like I fell asleep at 19 and woke up at 24, and suddenly I had to recalibrate the way I viewed myself and the way I no longer felt like I belonged with other people my age. And then another couple years were spent catching up and trying to "age" myself accordingly. All while fighting to rid myself of the paranoia and delusions that still had me in a chokehold.

And here I am now, running around in FFXIV, free from my delusions and my paranoia once and for all... all while still looking for the people that were around me when I had just started playing, and trying to process that the one safe place I had was just as fleeting as everything else in my life after all.

I should have known that, it's an obvious thing when spelling it out like such. But it shows me that despite having come this far, there's still a lot of work for me to do, and a lot of grief to come to terms with about everything I lost. Things that one may take for granted, that can never be reclaimed once it's gone.

[loonaoffline]

i hate that im not able to just, sit on the toilet for 30 minutes and have my period be over