#How to Fix Your Financial Problems

[followerofmercy]

Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide

This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.

How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:

The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours

It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people

Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.

Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.

Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)

The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.

It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*

If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people

So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.

Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit

Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen

Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **

General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.

Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something

Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill

* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them

** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone

Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty

[domesticated-whores]

lord give me the strength to put up with a cishet man that's seemingly not been in a serious relationship for at least 5 years--

[bweeeb]

HARD DICK...or three

Summary: Draco, Theo and Mattheo have always been Y/n's best friends, but when she realizes that the reason her relationships don't last long are them, the conversation takes a funny turn involving three boys with hard cocks.

Warnings: English is not my first language, a lot of intimacy between the boys and the reader.

---

There were people who were lucky in their careers, financial life, academics, and even love life. You were a lucky person but hated to admit that the hardest part for you was always your unluckiest part. Boyfriends were never easy for you, and staying stable with them was even harder. You never considered if the reason none of them lasted or were worthwhile was your fault—your poor choices, or the lack of character in all three serious relationships you had over the past few years. You never questioned it until last night. Dave Franco was your boyfriend for a year and a half, and last night he had a jealous outburst in the middle of a Hufflepuff party. You swore you heard him repeat the same words more than three times, “shitty friends,” “are you sure you didn’t have a threesome?” “They want to fuck you!” You were drunk and getting upset with his words until you realized that maybe your friends were much more intimidating to your boyfriends or flings than you had noticed. So you concluded that no, you were not the problem; they were…

— Alright, Our sleeping beauty has already missed the first classes.

Theodore's voice spread through the silent room along with the rustling of the comforter beside you as he occupied the space next to you.

— If you miss lunch, Snape will punish you until next year.

Mattheo said, pulling the blanket off your body, exposing your figure dressed only in navy blue lingerie that hugged your curves.

— And that means if you want to graduate this year, you better get out of this room.

Draco said, casting his eyes over you as you groaned into your pillow and shook your head in denial.

— Fuck off.

You whimpered, feeling your body shiver from the cold due to the lack of a blanket. Normally, you wouldn't be so exposed in front of your male friends, but Dave had broken up with you, so you didn't care at all if the three saw your butt, breasts, or whatever—it wasn't anything more than they had grown up seeing.

— What the hell happened to you? You didn’t even drink that much last night.

Theo said, and immediately you turned to look at him with a pout on your lips.

— Dave, he broke up with me.

You muttered, sitting up quickly.

— And it's your fault, so one of you owes me some affection.

As soon as you said that, your legs wrapped around Nott's waist, who smiled mischievously at Malfoy and Riddle, who were standing at the foot of the bed, watching you almost naked, snuggling into Theodore’s lap. It wasn’t a secret that you were obviously the dream of the three boys, and the fact that you grew up together gave them enough freedom to act like that among themselves.

— What do you mean?

Theodore asked, wrapping his arms around you.

— Yeah, he broke up with you because we’re your friends? Was he afraid of getting punched if he broke your heart or what?

Mattheo mocked Dave, and Draco laughed beside him and continued:

— Man, I think he's gay; there's no way he broke up with you because of us.

— No, he thinks we fucked or something. I don't know how many times I heard the word threesome or that you guys wanted to fuck me last night. Man, it was like torture.

You groaned, getting off Nott's lap and out of the bed, walking towards the mirror. You looked at yourself and sighed, rolling your eyes.

— The guy broke up with you because he thinks we want to fuck you?

Theodore laughed, and you gave him the middle finger while fixing your hair.

— Honestly, he's more insecure than my grandfather. Merlin, how did you stand him?

Draco laughed as Mattheo approached you and hugged you from behind, wrapping his arms around you and resting his head on your shoulder.

— Oh yeah, Draco’s grandfather probably fucks his grandmother more than that loser Dave fucked you. Am I wrong?

Mattheo said with a mischievous smile directed at you through the mirror's reflection, causing you to laugh and shake your head.

— Ew, I don't want to think about Malfoy's grandparents having sex.

Theodore grunted, getting out of bed.

— Yeah, whatever, but the point here is that you all can hug her, and I can't? Get your claws off her, Riddle.

Draco grumbled, unhappy with your position, receiving an irritating smile from Mattheo, who let you go and allowed you to go to Draco with a gentle smile.

— Ah, he's a baby, guys.

You said, and Draco glared at you with a scowl.

— Shut up…

Draco grumbled, pulling you by the waist and throwing you on the bed with him on top.

— I’ll put a baby in you if you keep that up.

— See, that’s why my relationships don’t last.

You said, throwing your head back and pushing Draco off you to fall beside you on the bed.

— Nah, this is bullshit because we don’t do this with you when you’re dating.

Theodore said, sitting next to where your head was lying, as did Mattheo on the opposite side.

— I don’t know; maybe I’m just a terrible girlfriend and act the wrong way.

You murmured, frustrated, turning onto your stomach to hide your face in a pillow.

— Y/n, princess, stop blaming yourself for the idiot’s idiotic choice.

Draco shrugged while leaning his back against the bed's headboard and throwing another pillow at your now exposed butt.

— You hardly even come near us when you’re dating. I can’t remember the last time I hugged you besides today.

Mattheo made a mocking expression, thinking David was making false accusations about you.

— You are the most loyal person in Hogwarts, and everyone knows it. If your boyfriends are all insecure enough not to handle being with you because of us, it’s simple—they don’t deserve you, dolcezza.

— Really?

You asked, and as confirmation, you received three murmurs of agreement. Propping your elbows on the mattress, your gaze changed to a curious look that was noticed by Nott and Riddle.

— Hmm, do you guys want to?

You asked another question, and this time the boys’ faces on your bed were genuinely confused.

— What?

Mattheo questioned your question, and you laughed, laying your head on Theo’s lap, who had lit a cigarette. With a look, Nott understood; he brought the cigarette to you, and with a wild smile, he answered Mattheo and asked you.

— Fuck you?

— Uh-huh.

You agreed, hearing Draco laugh while accepting the cigarette from Theo.

— Everyone wants to fuck you, princess.

— Right, but I’m not talking about everyone; I’m talking about you guys.

You said impatiently, sitting on your heels to look at the three on your bed, staring at you without saying a word.

— Come on, I’m curious.

— You don’t understand, do you?

Mattheo, with his dark eyes and a sly smile, leaned closer to your neck.

— Don’t understand what?

— You can’t ask if we’d fuck you when you’re dressed like that, darling.

Mattheo murmured, and you heard Theo and Draco’s nasal laughter as they moved on the bed.

— Okay, so that would be a yes?

You asked.

— Hell yeah.

Theo agreed, bringing the cigarette back to his plump lips and then to yours.

Your smile grew with each passing minute of silence in the room. The three of them were eyeing you as if you were gold, and you couldn’t measure how much that amused you.

— What?

You asked, feigning innocence as if you hadn’t seen the bulges growing in the pants of the three there.

— Alright, I’ll get changed so we can meet Pansy and Daphne. Wait for me a second.

With that, you got up from the bed and heard a groan from Draco.

— Seriously? I’m hard as fuck, damn it.

Malfoy groaned again, and the four of you laughed.

— You’re evil.

Theo sighed, and you turned to look at them with a pained face.

— I think my dick is going to break, it’s so hard right now.

Mattheo said, throwing himself on the bed before looking at you at the bathroom door with a huge smile.

— Why are you looking at me like that? I didn’t do anything.

You said innocently, and Mattheo snorted.

— How am I supposed to continue the day like this?

— I don’t know, jerk off together, think of Malfoy's grandparents fucking.

You laughed again, and their scowls grew bigger.

— I swear you’ll pay for this, dolcezza.

Was the last thing you heard besides groans before you left to change for afternoon classes.

---

I hope you enjoy this

And if you want to read some dirty shit here:

[creativeexpressivename]

Grumbling hissing frothing at the mouth I hate being my brothers keeper

[cloudyluun]

Easy Money | sugar daddy!harry

Summary: What started as a simple transaction—a way to make some quick cash—turns into something far more complicated when Harry refuses to keep things strictly business. He spoils you, adores you, falls for you. But when he finally confesses his feelings, you remind him this was never supposed to be real. The only problem? Somewhere along the way, it became exactly that.

Wordt Count: 8k

A/N: This was a very special request from one of my absolute favourite readers (you know who you are 😉). I had way too much fun writing this, so if you find yourself blushing, looking away from your screen, or needing a cold shower—just know, that was entirely the goal. Enjoy, you little troublemakers. 

Warnings: 

Smut (and a lot of it)

Sugar daddy arrangement turning very real

Power struggles in bed (both of them want control and it gets heated)

Dom!Harry / Bratty!Reader dynamics

Lots of teasing, dirty talk, and tension so thick you could choke on it

Angst & emotional turmoil (Harry catches feelings first and it hurts)

Over-the-top romance (he spoils her, worships her, and claims her)

Explicit language

Mentions of financial struggles

Soft, clingy aftercare that will make you feel things

Read responsibly. Or don’t. Just don’t blame me when Harry Styles takes over your brain. 

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Your phone buzzes with another notification from your bank. You already know what it says before you even look, but the sinking feeling in your stomach urges you to check anyway.

LOW BALANCE ALERT

You sigh, thumb hovering over the notification before swiping it away. As if ignoring it will make the problem disappear.

It doesn’t.

Bills are due. Rent is due. Your student loans are a monster looming over your shoulder, their presence suffocating no matter how much you try to ignore them. Every paycheck disappears the second it hits your account, and no matter how many shifts you pick up or how much you cut back, it’s never enough. The math simply doesn’t math.

You’ve tried everything.

Taking extra hours at work? Done. You’re already stretched thin, running on caffeine and sheer willpower.

Side hustles? Tried. You’ve scoured every "easy ways to make money" list on the internet. You’ve filled out mind-numbing surveys for pennies, signed up for focus groups that never picked you, even considered selling pictures of your feet, only to chicken out the second you realized you had no idea where to even start.

Asking your parents for help? Not an option. The thought alone makes your stomach twist with shame. You’re an adult. You should be able to handle this.

But you’re drowning.

And tonight, after another long shift, after tipping your last few dollars to the bartender in a desperate attempt to pretend you have your life together, you lie in bed, scrolling through your phone, searching for something. A solution. A miracle. A quick fix that doesn’t exist.

Your searches grow more desperate. How to make money fast. How to pay rent when you’re broke. How to get a sugar daddy—

You pause.

The words stare back at you from the search bar, your heart skipping a beat as you realize you actually typed it. You weren’t even thinking. Just letting your thoughts spill out onto the screen, every insane idea passing through your exhausted brain.

But now the idea is there.

And worse—it isn’t immediately repulsive.

It’s not like you don’t know what a sugar baby is. You’ve heard the stories, seen the jokes. Older, rich men paying younger women just to be in their presence. Some arrangements are physical, sure, but plenty aren’t.

And it’s not like you’d actually do it.

…Right?

Your finger hovers over the search results, heartbeat picking up. You tell yourself you’re just curious. Just looking.

Twenty minutes later, you’re staring at the App Store. A bright pink logo sits on your screen, the words SUGAR DADDY APP – FIND YOUR ARRANGEMENT TODAY! flashing below it.

You chew on your lip, pulse thrumming in your ears.

This is insane.

This is absolutely insane.

But what if—

What if it’s just casual meetups? Just talking. Just dinner. Some of these girls are getting their rent paid just for going on dates. What if that could be you? What if this is the answer?

What’s the harm in looking?

Before you can second-guess yourself, your thumb presses download.

The next few minutes pass in a blur. The app opens, welcoming you with a sleek, luxurious design; gold accents, elegant fonts, a promise of “mutually beneficial arrangements.” The signup process is shockingly easy. You pick a username, upload a picture (nothing scandalous, just a cute selfie), and fill out your bio.

“Young, fun, and a great conversationalist. Looking for someone who appreciates good company. Nothing serious.”

That should do.

Messages start coming in immediately.

And it’s exactly what you expected.

Older men with awkward, borderline sleazy messages. Some are direct, offering money in exchange for explicit favors. Others try to be charming but still give off a transactional vibe. None of them make you feel… good.

You sigh, already regretting this. Maybe this was a stupid idea. Maybe you should just—

MATCH!

A notification pops up at the top of your screen. You glance at it, ready to roll your eyes, until you see the name.

Harry.

You blink. That’s… different.

You click on his profile, expecting the same thing you’ve seen all night. But your breath catches.

He’s young. Well—not young, but younger than the rest. Late thirties, maybe early fourties. Sharp jawline, green eyes, a dimple that softens his otherwise serious expression. Dressed in a crisp, expensive-looking suit, but his tattoos peek out from beneath the sleeves, a contradiction that instantly intrigues you.

He doesn’t look like he belongs here.

But then again… neither do you.

Your pulse quickens as you stare at his profile, your fingers hesitating over the keyboard.

What do you even say to someone like him?

Your fingers hover over the keyboard, hesitation creeping in. A simple hi feels too basic. A joke might come off as trying too hard. But before you can overthink yourself into oblivion, a new notification pops up.

Harry sent you a message.

Your stomach flips. You exhale, steadying yourself before clicking to open it.

"Didn’t expect to find someone like you on here."

You blink. That’s… not what you expected. There’s no awkward proposition, no sleazy opener, no immediate offer of money in exchange for something degrading. It’s casual, almost intrigued. He follows up before you can reply.

"Not complaining, though. You look like you have good taste in wine."

A laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It’s charming. Simple. Not overdone. And weirdly enough it works.

Your eyes flicker back to his profile. It really is almost too good to be true. His pictures look professional, but not in the this was stolen from someone else’s Instagram way. They’re polished but natural. He’s sitting in a sleek black car in one, leaning against a marble bar in another. His bio is short, to the point.

“Successful entrepreneur. Generous. Looking for good company, good conversation, and good wine.”

There’s no cringey flexing. No desperate attempt to lure someone in. Just confidence. And it makes you nervous.

Still, you answer.

"I do. But I don’t let just anyone buy me a glass."

A beat. Then:

"Let me take you to dinner and prove I’m worth it."

Your stomach knots. You tell yourself you should be skeptical, that this is exactly how people end up in shady situations, but… there’s something different about him. He doesn’t reek of desperation. He’s not trying to corner you into anything. If anything, he almost seems amused.

Still, you’re cautious.

"That depends on the restaurant."

His response is instant.

"Le Jardin."

Your breath catches. That’s not just a restaurant. That’s the restaurant. The kind of place that has a six-month waitlist and a menu with no prices because if you have to ask, you can’t afford it.

Before you can even process it, another message pops up.

"I’ll pay you $3,000 just to show up."

You sit up so fast your vision tilts.

Three. Thousand. Dollars.

For dinner? For a couple of hours of your time?

Your heart pounds. Your rent is barely half of that. That kind of money would give you breathing room, let you live for a moment instead of just surviving.

Your fingers tighten around your phone. Your brain is screaming at you to say yes. But a small part of you hesitates.

You’re not stupid. You know nothing comes for free.

"And what do you expect in return?" you finally ask.

His reply is simple.

"Dinner. Conversation. That’s all."

You swallow. You want to believe him. And against your better judgment… you do.

Your fingers shake slightly as you type out your answer.

"Alright. I’m in."

You set the phone down, staring at the screen as the reality of what you just agreed to sinks in.

You tell yourself it’s just transactional.

No expectations.

No strings attached.

So why does it already feel like something else?

You shove that thought aside as you get ready.

You’ve never been to a place like Le Jardin, never even been within walking distance of it, but you know what kind of people dine there. The rich, the powerful, the ones who don’t check price tags or worry about overdraft fees. You’re not one of them, and it makes your stomach twist as you stand in front of your closet, trying to figure out what to wear.

You settle on a sleek black dress—nothing too extravagant, but elegant enough to blend in. You keep your makeup simple, your jewelry minimal, but when you step in front of the mirror, something about your reflection feels different. Almost like you belong in this world. Like you could make someone believe it, even if only for one night.

The car Harry sends for you pulls up right on time. The driver is professional, dressed in a crisp suit, and doesn’t say much beyond a polite, “Miss?” as he opens the door. The ride is smooth, the city lights blurring past the tinted windows, and the entire time, your fingers twitch in your lap.

You tell yourself this is just a dinner. Just a business transaction. Just easy money.

But then you step into the restaurant, and your breath catches.

Le Jardin is breathtaking. Soft golden lighting, high ceilings, waiters gliding between tables like they’re floating. Everything about it screams exclusivity, like you’ve just stepped into a world not meant for people like you.

And then you see him.

Harry.

He stands as soon as he spots you, and for a second, the air shifts.

You were prepared for him to be attractive—you’ve seen his pictures, you knew what to expect—but this? This is something else entirely.

He’s tall, broad, the tailored lines of his suit clinging to him in a way that makes your mouth dry. Dark curls, sharp jaw, green eyes that flicker with something unreadable as he watches you cross the room.

And then he smiles.

Not a smirk, not a cocky I-have-you-right-where-I-want-you grin, but something softer. Something that makes his dimple crease and his eyes warm.

It’s almost disarming.

He pulls out your chair before you can even reach for it. “You look stunning,” he murmurs, his voice a low hum that slides down your spine.

You blink at him, thrown off. You expected arrogance, maybe a smooth line or two, but instead, he sounds almost… genuine.

You let him push in your chair, smoothing your hands over your dress as you settle in. “I try.”

He chuckles, a quiet thing, and as he takes his seat across from you, you realize he hasn’t stopped looking at you.

Not in the way the other men on the app did, like they were already calculating what they’d get out of you. No, this is different. It’s like he’s trying to figure you out, like he’s curious.

The waiter appears, offering an expensive bottle of wine without asking if you’d like to see the menu first. You don’t even know how to pronounce the name, but Harry just nods, thanking the server before turning back to you.

“So,” he says, resting his elbows on the table, fingers laced together. “Tell me something about you.”

You tilt your head. “Like what?”

“Anything.” He shrugs. “Something that’s not in your profile.”

You hesitate. You could give him something basic, something easy. But for some reason, you don’t want to.

“I hate tomatoes,” you say, watching for his reaction.

He blinks. Then laughs. A real, full laugh, his head tipping back slightly.

“Alright,” he says, still smiling. “Not what I expected, but I respect it.”

The conversation flows effortlessly after that. He asks questions—genuine ones—not just about you, but your thoughts, your opinions, things that have nothing to do with the arrangement. And he listens. Really listens. Holding eye contact like he’s hanging onto every word.

The food arrives—meals you can’t even begin to describe, flavors so rich you feel out of place eating them. But Harry makes it easy, never letting the moment feel intimidating.

At one point, he cuts a bite of his dish and lifts it toward you.

“Try this.”

You don’t even think twice. You just let him. Let him feed you, his fingers brushing the corner of your lips as you take the bite.

It doesn’t faze you.

But him?

He’s gone.

It’s subtle—the way his jaw tightens slightly, the way his gaze drops to your mouth for half a second longer than necessary—but you catch it. And for some reason, it makes you smile.

Dessert comes, and he reaches across the table, taking your hand in his. His thumb brushes over your knuckles, a soft, absentminded motion, like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

“Can I see you again?” he asks.

The look in his eyes is something you can’t quite place.

You don’t hesitate.

You nod, lips curling slightly.

You’re getting paid, after all.

That’s what you tell yourself when the gifts start rolling in.

At first, they’re subtle. A bottle of perfume left on your doorstep, the kind you’d never splurge on for yourself. The packaging alone screams luxury, sleek and weighty in your hands. You hesitate before opening the attached note, curiosity bubbling in your chest.

“Reminded me of you. - H”

You roll your eyes, but a small smile tugs at your lips. You spritz a little onto your wrist, inhaling. It’s warm, sensual—notes of vanilla and something darker, richer. Expensive.

And then it doesn’t stop.

A few days later, a box arrives. Big this time. Too big for just perfume. You tear through the pristine wrapping to find a designer handbag nestled inside, the leather buttery soft beneath your fingertips.

Your first thought is: What the fuck?

Your second thought is: How much did this cost?

You barely have time to process before your phone buzzes.

Harry: Saw this and thought of you. Hope you like it.

You blink down at the message, at the bag, then back again.

Is this normal? you wonder. Is this what this arrangement is supposed to look like?

You send back a single text.

You: You’re insane.

His response is immediate.

Harry: I like spoiling you.

You don’t know what to do with that, so you just… let it happen.

At first, it’s funny. It feels like playing a role, stepping into a world you don’t belong in. You make jokes to yourself every time another absurdly expensive thing lands in your lap.

Then come the texts.

They start out simple, routine check-ins that could easily be brushed off.

“Morning, love. Hope today isn’t too stressful.”

“Made it home safe?”

“Sleep well?”

But then they start happening like clockwork.

Every morning, without fail—

“Good morning, darling.”

Every night—

“Sleep tight. Dream of me.”

You laugh when you read that one, shaking your head. It’s charming. Ridiculous.

And then there are the touches.

He kisses your forehead when he greets you, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. When he hands you a drink, his fingers brush yours, lingering a fraction longer than necessary. When you walk into a room together, his hand finds the small of your back, warm and steady, like he’s guiding you, claiming you.

The thing is… you don’t encourage it.

But you also don’t stop it.

Because—if you’re being honest?—it’s kind of cute.

And, really, what’s the harm?

You meet up with him again. And again. It becomes a pattern, slipping into your life with alarming ease. Lavish dinners, expensive outings, stolen moments where he looks at you like you’re something rare, something fragile.

Then, one night, it happens.

You’re seated across from him at a dimly lit restaurant, the hum of soft jazz filling the air. Your wine glass is half-full, your plate mostly cleared, and he’s been watching you all night—watching in that way he does, like he’s memorizing you.

And then, almost absentmindedly, he stirs his drink and murmurs, “Didn’t like being away from you today.”

You barely register his words at first, too focused on the way he swirls the amber liquid in his glass.

But then he looks up.

And there’s something there.

Something warm, something vulnerable.

“Missed you,” he says, like it’s obvious. Like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

You snort, reaching out without thinking, patting his cheek lightly. “That’s adorable.”

He huffs out a laugh, but he leans into your touch like a man starved, like it means something to him.

And that’s when it hits you.

Like a freight train, like a sucker punch to the ribs.

You’re in it for the money.

He’s in it for love.

You know it now. You’ve known it for a while, haven’t you? If you really take a second to think about it, you’d realize that every expensive gift, every lingering touch, every look of pure, devoted affection was leading up to this.

You should’ve seen it coming.

Maybe you did, but you ignored it. You chose to believe that this was just fun for him the same way it was fun for you. That he was playing along with the fantasy, indulging in the illusion of something deeper—just because he could.

Because it was easy. Because it was nice.

Because it meant neither of you had to be alone.

But Harry?

Harry was never playing.

And tonight proves it.

The restaurant is unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. You knew it would be.

With Harry, everything is excessive. He likes to spoil you, to spend absurd amounts of money just to watch your reaction. It’s fun for him, you think.

But this is different.

This isn’t just extravagant. This is romantic.

The entire penthouse-level dining room is bathed in golden candlelight, the glow flickering off the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the entire city. The table is set for two, an elaborate spread of silverware and delicate wine glasses that you already know you’ll be too nervous to touch. The scent of fresh roses lingers in the air, overwhelming but intentional.

It’s the kind of setup someone arranges when they’re about to propose.

The thought makes something uneasy curl in your stomach.

Harry has been off all evening. Not in an obvious way—no, he’s still charming, still soft-spoken, still perfectly polite.

But he’s quiet.

More than usual.

His touches have been different tonight, too. Deliberate. Lingering. When he pulled out your chair for you, his hands skimmed over your shoulders, his fingers trailing against your skin like he was memorizing the feeling. When he handed you your wine glass, he let his fingertips brush over yours, his touch slow, like he needed it. When you made a joke about the ridiculous amount of forks in front of you, he didn’t just laugh—he looked at you like you’d just hung the moon.

And the way he’s looking at you now?

Like he’s about to say something you won’t be able to take back.

You should stop this.

You should.

But you don’t.

Because you’ve spent so long pretending that this—whatever this is—can exist in some untouchable space. That as long as you don’t acknowledge the shift, as long as you don’t name it, it will stay the same.

But you were wrong.

And Harry?

Harry is about to prove it.

The room is quiet except for the soft hum of music in the background, the flicker of candlelight making shadows dance across his face.

And then—

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Your entire body locks up.

The words don’t register at first, like your brain is physically rejecting them.

Because, no.

No, that’s not what this is.

That’s not what this was ever supposed to be.

You feel your heart hammering against your ribs, something hot crawling up your spine, your throat suddenly too tight, your hands suddenly too still.

You blink.

He’s still looking at you.

Still waiting.

Like this is the moment everything changes. Like this is the moment he’s been waiting for.

Like this is the moment he gets you.

But he doesn’t.

He won’t.

You inhale sharply, your pulse roaring in your ears, the weight of his confession settling onto your chest like a ton of bricks.

His fingers tighten ever so slightly around yours, the warmth of his skin grounding you, holding you there like an anchor. Like he can sense that you’re about to run.

You swallow hard.

“Harry…”

The smile on his lips falters. Barely.

But you notice it.

You notice everything.

The way his fingers twitch. The way his eyes search yours, desperate. The way his jaw clenches, like he already knows.

You have to do this.

You have to say it.

Even if it feels like you’re about to carve him open.

Even if it feels like you’re about to carve yourself open.

You take a breath.

“This isn’t real.”

It’s quiet. A whisper. A tiny, fragile thing.

But it shatters him all the same.

You see it.

The way his entire body stills. The way the warmth drains from his face, his hands slipping away from yours so slowly, so painfully, like he’s forcing himself to let go.

Like he doesn’t want to.

But he has to.

His throat bobs.

His eyes flicker, something shifting in them—something soft breaking, something hopeful dying.

“Not real?” His voice is quiet, hoarse, like it physically hurts him to ask.

You open your mouth.

But nothing comes out.

Because what do you even say?

What could you possibly say to fix this?

To fix him?

To fix the way he’s looking at you like you just ripped the ground out from beneath him?

You weren’t supposed to mean this much to him.

But you do.

And that’s the problem.

The problem isn’t that he loves you.

The problem isn’t that he confessed.

The problem isn’t even that you saw it coming and did nothing to stop it.

The problem is that when he looks at you like this—like this—you don’t want to stop it.

His hands are still cradling your face, his thumbs ghosting over your cheekbones like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. Like if he just holds you tightly enough, he can will you into feeling the same way he does.

And maybe he can.

Because something about the way he’s looking at you now makes something deep in your chest ache. Makes something warm coil low in your stomach, makes your fingers tremble against the tablecloth.

You shouldn’t be here.

You shouldn’t still be sitting in this candlelit penthouse with him.

You should say something sharp and final, put an end to whatever this is before it gets worse. Before he gets hurt. Before you get hurt.

But you don’t.

You can’t.

Because his eyes are flickering over your face like he’s memorizing you. Because his lips are parted, his breath shallow, his chest rising and falling unevenly.

Because when he speaks, his voice is hoarse, wrecked.

“It is for me.”

It knocks the air right out of you.

It’s not pleading. It’s not even a question.

It’s just fact.

And you feel it—God, you feel it.

He has never been playing.

Not once.

Not for a second.

This was always real for him.

And now?

Now, it’s real for you, too.

You should pull away.

You should.

You should tell him you’re sorry, that you never meant to let it get this far, that you never meant to make him fall for you.

But instead—

You tilt your chin up, let your gaze lock with his, let the tension between you thicken and twist until there’s only one way this ends.

“Then make me believe it.”

It’s barely a whisper. But he hears it.

You know he hears it.

Because his entire body reacts—his grip on your face tightening, his lips parting, his chest rising with a sharp inhale.

And then, before you can think, before you can breathe, before you can stop yourself—

His mouth crashes onto yours.

It’s not soft. It’s not careful.

It’s desperate.

It’s months of lingering touches, of stolen glances, of suppressed feelings exploding all at once.

His hands slide from your face to your jaw, tilting your head up, angling you the way he wants, the way he needs. His lips move against yours with a hunger you’ve never felt from him before, all-consuming, his body leaning forward until you have no choice but to grab onto his shirt, fisting the fabric in your hands to keep yourself steady.

You gasp against his mouth, and he groans, deep and guttural, swallowing the sound like it belongs to him. Like you belong to him.

And maybe you do.

His hands are everywhere now—sliding down your neck, tracing your collarbone, curling around your waist as he yanks you toward him. The chair scrapes against the floor as he stands, pulling you up with him, pressing your body flush against his.

It’s too much.

It’s not enough.

Your fingers slip into his hair, tugging, and he growls, his teeth grazing your bottom lip, his hands gripping your hips so tightly you know you’ll feel it tomorrow.

You don’t care.

You don’t care about any of it anymore.

Not the arrangement.

Not the money.

Not the way you told yourself this wasn’t real.

Because right now, with his lips hot and insistent against yours, his body pressed against you like he needs you to breathe—

It is.

It is real.

And you want more.

“Harry,” you murmur against his mouth, your fingers tugging at his shirt, nails scraping down his back.

He groans, his forehead dropping to yours, his breath ragged. “Say it again.”

You shiver.

His voice is different now. Lower. Rougher.

More possessive.

You lick your lips, tilting your head, letting your nose brush against his. “Harry.”

It’s all he needs.

He moves fast. One second, you’re standing by the table, and the next, he’s walking you backward, his grip firm but gentle, like he’s guiding you, like he’s making sure you want this.

And you do.

God, you do.

The backs of your legs hit something soft—one of the long velvet couches lining the floor-to-ceiling windows—and then he’s pushing you down, following you without hesitation, his hands bracketing your hips, his body pressing you into the cushions.

His lips move from your mouth to your jaw, then lower, kissing, nipping, claiming.

“You have no fucking idea,” he rasps against your skin, “how long I’ve wanted this.”

You arch beneath him, your breath stuttering.

“How long I’ve waited for you,” he murmurs, his hands slipping beneath the hem of your dress, fingers dragging over bare skin.

Your nails dig into his back.

This is different.

This isn’t just sex.

This isn’t just fulfilling an arrangement.

This is him showing you what he means.

This is you finally admitting what you want.

“Then show me,” you breathe.

He does.

Harry doesn’t hesitate.

He surges forward, claiming your lips again, this time slower, deeper—like he’s savoring you, like he’s tasting something he knows he’ll never get enough of. His hands tighten on your body, strong fingers splaying against your ribs, dragging up, up, up, until his thumbs are teasing along the sides of your breasts, just enough to make you arch into him.

A low groan rumbles from his chest, vibrating against your skin as he kisses you harder, as his tongue sweeps against yours in a kiss so deep it steals the breath right out of your lungs.

And then he’s moving, lifting you effortlessly from the couch like you weigh nothing, like you belong in his arms. His grip is strong—possessive—one hand on your thigh, the other curled around your back as he carries you across the room.

His lips never leave yours.

His kisses are slow now, teasing, dragging, pulling soft whimpers from your throat that he swallows like they belong to him.

He walks you straight to the bed, laying you down like you’re something precious, something breakable.

But you’re not breakable.

And when he starts to pull away, you don’t let him.

You grip his shirt, fisting the fabric, yanking him back down until he’s hovering over you, his body caging yours in. His breath is heavy, uneven, his eyes blown wide and desperate.

“You want to take your time?” you murmur, fingers toying with the buttons of his shirt, sliding them through the fabric one by one, teasing.

His jaw clenches.

“I’ve been waiting,” he says, voice low, rough. “For months.”

Your lips curl.

“So why are you still dressed?”

Something snaps.

Harry growls, yanking his shirt off in one swift motion before his hands are back on you, slipping under your dress, pushing the fabric up, exposing skin he’s been dying to touch.

“You think you’re in charge?” he mutters, mouth against your throat, kissing, nipping, dragging his tongue over the spot that makes you shiver.

A smirk plays at your lips.

“I know I am.”

His fingers tighten on your hips. “Not tonight.”

You don’t get the chance to respond before he’s got you flat on your back, hands gripping your wrists, pinning them above your head as he stares down at you, chest heaving.

And fuck, he’s beautiful like this.

Eyes dark, lips swollen, hair falling into his face, body hard and tense against yours.

“You drive me fucking crazy,” he murmurs, voice thick with need, his fingers tracing over the pulse point in your wrist.

“Good,” you whisper back.

His lips crash against yours again, hungrier this time, rougher.

He’s not just kissing you—he’s devouring you.

And you let him.

You moan into his mouth, rolling your hips up, grinding against the hardness pressing between your legs, and he hisses, his grip tightening.

“You’re fucking dangerous,” he groans, dropping his forehead against yours, his breath hot and ragged. “D’you have any idea what you do to me?”

You smile, slow and teasing, tilting your head, lips brushing against his jaw.

“Show me.”

He does.

His hands are everywhere—gripping, caressing, exploring.

He strips you slow, torturous, dragging the straps of your dress down your shoulders, pressing soft, lingering kisses to every inch of exposed skin.

“You’re perfect,” he breathes, his lips brushing over your collarbone, his hands palming your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers, making you gasp.

“Harry,” you whimper, arching into his touch, nails dragging down his back.

He groans, sucking a mark onto your skin, his tongue flicking over it, soothing, before he starts moving lower.

His mouth trails over your ribs, your stomach, his fingers sliding under the waistband of your panties, tugging them down slow, too slow.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmurs, lips brushing over the inside of your thigh.

You squirm beneath him, breath hitching. “You.”

His teeth graze your skin. “Be specific.”

You bite your lip, staring down at him, the way he’s kneeling between your legs, eyes dark and hungry, waiting.

You reach down, threading your fingers into his hair, tugging lightly. “I want your mouth.”

A smirk tugs at his lips.

“Good girl.”

And then his mouth is on you.

You gasp, head falling back against the pillows, fingers tightening in his hair as he licks, sucks, devours you like he’s starved.

It’s overwhelming.

It’s too much and not enough all at once.

His tongue moves slow, deliberate, teasing, and when you let out a breathy moan, he groans against you, gripping your thighs, holding you in place as he eats you like he’s trying to ruin you.

Like he’s claiming you.

Your thighs tremble around his head, pleasure building too fast, too strong, and he knows, because he presses his tongue against your clit, flicking, sucking, driving you insane.

“Harry—fuck—”

“Come for me,” he rasps against your skin, voice rough and commanding, his fingers digging into your thighs. “Come on, baby. Let me feel it.”

And you do.

You unravel beneath him, your body arching, pleasure washing over you in waves as you cry out his name, your fingers tight in his hair.

He works you through it, his mouth never leaving you, softening the strokes of his tongue until you’re panting, trembling beneath him.

Then he’s moving, crawling back up your body, kissing you deep, letting you taste yourself on his tongue as he pushes his hips against yours.

He’s hard, straining against his pants, and you reach down, palming him through the fabric, making him groan.

“Your turn,” you murmur, eyes dark, wicked.

His breath hitches.

You flip him over, straddling his hips, pinning his wrists to the bed, watching as his pupils dilate, his breath stuttering.

“You like that?” you tease, rolling your hips against him.

His jaw clenches. “You have no idea.”

You smirk. “Then let me show you.”

And you do.

You roll your hips against him, slow and deliberate, feeling the thick press of him still trapped beneath layers of fabric. His breath shudders, his fingers twitch where you’ve got them pinned, but you don’t let up. You grind down again, watching his jaw clench, the way his body tenses beneath you, all muscle and restraint.

“You like being underneath me?” you tease, dragging your nails lightly down his chest, tracing the hard lines of muscle, feeling the way his abs tense at your touch.

His eyes darken. “Don’t push me, love.”

You lean down, just enough for your lips to ghost over his, barely brushing, teasing, taunting. “Or what?”

His breath hitches. Then he growls.

A low, dangerous sound that sends heat pooling between your thighs.

He bucks his hips, trying to shift the power, but you press down harder, hands splaying over his chest, keeping him pinned.

“Fucking hell,” he grits out, head tipping back against the pillows. “You’re a tease.”

You smirk, rolling your hips again, slower this time. “And you love it.”

His hands flex against the sheets, his muscles straining beneath you like he’s dying to grab you, flip you, take back control. But he doesn’t. He lets you have it—for now.

“That’s it,” you murmur, leaning down, trailing soft, open-mouthed kisses over his throat, nipping lightly at his pulse point. “Be good for me.”

He groans, his fingers twitching, desperate to touch.

But you don’t let him.

You grab his wrists again, pressing them firmly into the mattress, locking him in place as you start moving properly, rocking against him, dragging the thick outline of his cock right against your soaked panties.

His breath shudders.

“Jesus fuck,” he rasps, eyes fluttering shut for a second, chest rising and falling with heavy, uneven breaths.

You roll your hips harder, the friction sending pleasure shooting through you, and when he lets out a strangled moan, you smile.

“Poor baby,” you coo, running your tongue along the shell of his ear. “Does it feel good?”

His jaw clenches so hard you think it might break.

“Y’think you’re in charge, hmm?” His voice is thick, rough, dangerous.

Your lips curl as you grind down again, harder this time. “I know I am.”

Something snaps.

In a blink, Harry moves.

One second, you’re in control—the next, you’re not.

With a low, feral growl, he rips his wrists free, grabbing your waist and flipping you onto your back so fast your breath catches. Before you can even react, he’s on you, pressing you into the mattress, his body heavy, his hands rough.

“You think you can tease me like that?” he murmurs, eyes dark and dangerous as he grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head.

You inhale sharply, shivering at the sudden shift, at the way he’s towering over you, at the raw hunger in his eyes.

“Maybe I wanted you to break,” you whisper, testing, teasing, pushing.

His grip tightens.

“Fucking hell, you’re a brat.”

You smirk. “And you love it.”

His lips crash against yours.

It’s rough, desperate, all tongue and teeth, like he’s punishing you, like he’s claiming you. You moan into his mouth, arching up, pressing your body to his, feeling the hard lines of him against your softness.

His hands are everywhere—gripping your waist, sliding down to your thighs, spreading you open beneath him as he grinds against you, letting you feel how much he wants this.

“Fuck,” he groans against your lips, rolling his hips harder, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through you. “You feel that, baby? Feel what you do to me?”

You whimper, nodding, your head spinning, body thrumming with heat.

“Use your words,” he murmurs, kissing down your neck, sucking hard at your pulse point, leaving marks. Claiming you.

“Yes,” you breathe, hands clutching at his back, nails digging in. “I feel it.”

“Yeah?” He pulls back just enough to look at you, eyes dark, dangerous. “You ready to stop playing, then?”

Your breath hitches.

You smirk. “Make me.”

His eyes flash.

“Oh, baby,” he murmurs, voice low, threatening. “You’re gonna regret that.”

His hand suddenly fists in your hair, tilting your head up just enough for his lips to hover over yours, breaths mingling, tension thick and electric.

“As much as I love watching you think you’re in charge,” he murmurs, his voice thick, deep, commanding, “I need to fuck you. Now.”

A shiver racks through you, but before you can respond, he moves.

In one swift motion, he flips you onto your stomach, pressing you down into the mattress, his hands everywhere—gripping your hips, running up your sides, ghosting over your ribs like he’s savoring every inch of you.

“My turn,” he breathes, dragging your wrists above your head, holding you still as his mouth finds your shoulder, pressing a slow, open-mouthed kiss to your heated skin.

You try to shift beneath him, to gain some control back, but his grip tightens, fingers wrapping around your wrists, pinning you down completely.

“Be good for me,” he murmurs against your skin, lips trailing down your back, teeth grazing over already-sensitive spots.

You whimper, squirming, desperate for more, but he takes his time, teasing, torturing, his touch featherlight as he drags his fingers down the curve of your spine, over the swell of your ass.

“You’re too fucking pretty like this,” he mutters, mostly to himself, squeezing your hips, dragging you back against him so you can feel exactly how hard he is. “Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this.”

Your breath stutters, body burning, every nerve alight with anticipation.

“Harry,” you whimper, rolling your hips back, silently begging. “Please.”

He groans, low and dark, his restraint snapping.

“Yeah?” he taunts, lips ghosting over your ear as he presses his chest to your back. “You ready for me, baby?”

You nod frantically, arching against him, needing, aching—

But he still makes you wait.

Dragging his hand between your thighs, he strokes you with maddening slowness, gathering your wetness on his fingers, groaning at how ready you are.

“Fuck,” he grits out. “Dripping for me already?”

You whimper, nodding. “Harry, please—”

Finally, finally, he aligns himself with you, pressing the thick head of his cock against your entrance, teasing, waiting—

“Look at me.”

His voice is commanding, leaving no room for argument.

You turn your head just enough to meet his gaze, your breath catching at the intensity in his eyes—dark, hungry, wild.

He watches you, waiting, holding you there in the moment, making sure you feel it before he gives you what you want.

And then—

He thrusts in.

A strangled moan rips from your throat as he fills you completely, stretching you open, deep and overwhelming.

A guttural groan rumbles from his chest as he buries himself inside you, his grip bruising on your hips, like he’s afraid you’ll slip away.

“Fuck. Fuck,” he grits out, his voice rough, ragged, vibrating against your skin. His head falls forward, his forehead resting against the nape of your neck, breath hot and uneven. “You’re so—shit, you’re so tight.”

You arch beneath him, back bowing, body tightening around him in response, overwhelmed by the stretch, the fullness of him inside you. It’s almost too much, the way he splits you apart, the way he holds you still, like he’s savoring the feeling, savoring you.

Your hands fist in the sheets, knuckles white as you try to ground yourself, try to keep from losing yourself completely.

He must sense it, the way your body trembles, because his grip softens, fingers splaying over your stomach as he kisses your shoulder, slow and tender.

“Breathe, baby,” he murmurs, voice strained but gentle. He noses along your skin, pressing his lips to the curve where your neck meets your shoulder. “I’ve got you.”

His free hand finds yours, threading his fingers through yours against the mattress, grounding you, anchoring you to him.

He stays there for a moment, letting you adjust, letting you feel every inch of him before he moves.

And then—

Then he ruins you.

The first thrust is slow, deliberate, pushing deep, making your breath hitch, making your fingers tighten around his.

Then another. And another. Each movement calculated, precise, dragging against every nerve ending inside you, pulling you closer to the edge with every roll of his hips.

His rhythm starts slow, deep—like he’s savoring the feeling of being buried inside you. Like he wants to take his time, to make you feel him, make you remember this.

But it doesn’t last.

The control snaps, his patience evaporating like steam off your overheated skin.

He growls, the sound primal, desperate, as his hands shift—one gripping your hip, the other pressing against the small of your back, keeping you in place as he pounds into you.

The bed shakes beneath you, every thrust sending ripples through your body, pleasure licking up your spine like fire.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans against your mouth, his forehead pressing to yours, lips brushing but never quite kissing, too lost in the moment, too consumed by the way your body wraps around him.

You can barely breathe, barely think, all logic drowned out by the feeling of him inside you, stretching you, filling you, wrecking you.

You meet every thrust, grinding back against him, chasing your high, needing, aching—

He notices, because of course he does.

“Yeah?” he pants, voice rough, strained. “You want it, baby? Want me to fuck you like this?”

You nod frantically, gasping, moaning his name, nails digging into his forearm, marking him, branding him.

He growls at the sting, his hand tightening on your hip, holding you still as he drives into you, faster, harder, the sound of skin meeting skin echoing through the dimly lit room.

And then—

Then he shifts, pulling out just enough before slamming back in at a new angle, hitting deeper, stroking against that one spot that makes you see stars.

You cry out, arching, body tightening around him, pleasure slamming into you like a tidal wave.

His hand moves from your hip to your thigh, gripping, hitching it up, opening you wider, letting him sink in even deeper, making you feel every inch of him.

“That’s it,” he pants, lips brushing against your temple, damp with sweat. “That’s it, baby. Let go for me.”

His hand slides between your bodies, fingers finding your clit, rubbing in tight, desperate circles.

It’s too much. The pressure, the stretch, the overwhelming intensity of it all.

Your body locks up, toes curling, back arching as your orgasm hits, crashing over you in violent, shattering waves.

You tremble beneath him, gasping his name, clenching around him so tight that he lets out a broken moan, his movements stuttering, losing rhythm.

“Fuck, fuck—”

And then he’s gone, head tilting back, mouth falling open as he lets go, spilling into you with a guttural groan, his entire body tensing before he collapses on top of you.

The only sound in the room is your combined panting, heavy and uneven, the sheets tangled beneath you, bodies still pressed together, skin damp with sweat.

His lips ghost over your shoulder, pressing one last, lingering kiss there before he whispers, voice hoarse and spent—

“Mine.”

The word settles between you like a slow-burning flame, flickering, catching, spreading.

His breath is still uneven, chest rising and falling against yours, his weight a comforting anchor rather than something pressing you down. His arms stay locked around you, like he doesn’t want to let go, doesn’t plan to.

And for the first time, you don’t want him to.

You don’t move. You can’t move.

His fingers start tracing slow, lazy patterns along your spine, light and absentminded, like he’s memorizing the shape of you.

His touch isn’t just post-bliss reflex. It’s deliberate.

It’s different.

And you feel it.

You feel it in the way his body stays molded against yours, in the way his lips linger at your temple instead of pulling away, in the way he wants to stay close—like he’s afraid that if he lets go, you’ll disappear.

This was supposed to be an arrangement. A job. A transaction.

But the way he’s looking at you now?

It’s anything but.

You shift slightly beneath him, just enough to see his face, to meet those green eyes that are softer than they should be, searching yours, waiting.

And he knows.

Of course, he knows.

Harry’s always been able to read you better than you’d like.

His fingers drift up to your cheek, thumb brushing against the curve of your jaw, his touch gentle—so unfairly gentle for someone who just ruined you minutes ago.

You should get up.

You should remind him of the rules, of the terms, of the fact that this was never supposed to mean anything.

But the words won’t come.

Because the truth is—

You don’t want to leave.

You don’t want to pull away.

And that realization knocks the breath out of you faster than anything else ever could.

Harry’s eyes flicker down to your lips, back up to your eyes, something vulnerable creeping into his expression before he speaks.

"Tell me you feel it too."

His voice is low, careful, but there’s an edge of uncertainty underneath. Like he’s terrified of your answer.

Like he needs it.

You open your mouth, hesitate—because this is the moment. The moment where everything changes. The moment where you either run, or you jump.

And you jump.

You don’t answer him with words. You don’t have to.

Instead, you reach up, threading your fingers into his hair, pulling him down.

And you kiss him.

Not because you’re supposed to. Not because it’s part of the act.

But because you want to.

Because you don’t want this to be about the money anymore.

Because it isn’t.

Not anymore.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like ❤️‍🔥

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[moonastro]

MAHADASHAS in Vedic astrology

So I have wanted to make this post for a very long time and since so many of you wanted it, here it issss😊😊

So in this post I am going to be going through what each mahadasha may bring you in terms of life occurrences. I am also going to be including example of specific placements that can be correlated to life events according to your natal chart also, because the mahadasha that you’re in now, looking at its placement in your natal chart influences it also.

**i am also going to include my own examples of my own mahadashas for referencing purposes

How to calculate your mahadashas?? A very handy website is farfaraway or another one would be astrosage.

what is a mahadasha?? Mahadashas are an integral concept in Vedic astrology, referring to extended periods in a person's life dominated by the influence of a specific planet. Each Mahadasha spans a fixed number of years, with its duration determined by the Vimshottari Dasha system, which assigns a total cycle of 120 years among the nine planets (Sun, Moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Saturn, Rahu, and Ketu). These periods are believed to shape significant events and themes in a person's life based on the nature, strength, and placement of the ruling planet in their natal chart. Within a Mahadasha, there are sub-periods, or antardashas, which further refine its effects.

sun mahadasha: lasts 6 years

being in the sun mahadahsa typically brings success in government related opportunities;

ego related conflicts or transformations

potential heart related illnesses or scares

12H sun linked to prison/ mental health institution/ travelling, 11H sun linked to joining groups/ finding your niche/ finding yourself, natal sun in 10H may mean career opportunities/public recognition/ relationship with father is improved if natal sun is placed well/ increased physical health/ having alignment with your purpose, 9H may be related to charities and being involved in government funded charities, 8H sun may mean related themes to banking/ financial problems/ injuries and hospital visits, 7H sun can be linked to marriage/law assortments, 6H suns linked to hospital visits/dental work/pet adoption, 5H sun linked to planning/ weddings/ hobby success, 4H sun linked to real estate/ moving house/ house decorating/ mother linked illness, 3H sun linked to transport/ car accidents/ document sorting/ government publicism/ expression of freedom, 2H sun linked to financial growth / recognition for financial gains/ can cause financial fluctuation is sun is afflicted in chart, 1H sun linked to increased confidence/ opportunities to take on leadership roles/ improved health if sun is not afflicted/ increased focus in life.

your antardasha with your sun mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ sun antardasha- leadership events and opportunities, success in hobbies and success in general, life may feel very bright and like its going your way, increased self confidence and socialisation.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ moon antardasha- emotional fulfilment, emotional excitement, feeling more excitement and feeling more in general,

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ mars antardasha- career progress and change, sudden courage to do stuff you have been putting off, potential for conflicts and arguments with those around you.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ mercury antardasha- intellectual growth and progress, potential studying success, communicative accomplishments and feeling like you get to express yourself truly with words, business advice and gains.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ jupiter antardasha- spiritual growth and gain, financial growth and having luck with money, lots of opportunities with learning and teaching.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ venus antardasha- romantic flings and developments, luxury acquisitions, artistic success.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ saturn antardasha- set backs and challenges, stability in career through hard work, something that was postponed being completed.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ rahu antardahsa- sudden changes, ambition changes and views, instability and irregular outcomes in life.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ ketu antardasha- sudden detachments, spiritual exploration, unexpected shifts in life and events.

moon mahadasha: lasts 10 years

strengthening of family bonds

marriage

childbirth

emotional outbursts

mental health challenges

12H moon events linked to emotional transformation/heightened sensitivity/ strong inclines to meditation and yoga/ opportunities for foreign travel/ time spend in tranquil places like the sea and such/ increased spendings on charities/ hidden expenses/ opportunities to address mental health problems/ seeking therapy and counselling/ a need for emotional support/ potential sleep disturbances/ health problems related to fluids stress and the lymphatic system, 11H moon events linked to experiencing financial improvements/ Opportunities to fulfil long-standing desires or achieve significant milestones in personal or professional life/ you might form meaningful connections with influential people/Possible involvement in large organizations /Strong emotional connections with friends and elder siblings/ dealing with groups/ You may feel emotionally attuned to the needs of your social circle/ This period could involve creative or artistic ventures that gain recognition/ Opportunities to participate in charitable or humanitarian activities might emerge, 10H moon events linked to Significant progress in the professional domain/Enhanced creativity and decision-making abilities in the workplace/ Periods of uncertainty or emotional dissatisfaction in the workplace/ Challenges in maintaining focus due to emotional instability or over-sensitivity/Situations where emotions or personal matters become public knowledge, potentially leading to stress/ leading to anxiety about public image/Establishing strong relationships with colleagues/Growth in popularity or admiration due to a nurturing and understanding nature, 9H moon events linked to increased interest in spirituality, religion, or philosophical studies/Pursuit of higher education or academic achievements, especially in fields related to literature, philosophy, psychology, or theology/ Long-distance travel, especially to spiritually significant or foreign locations/ Strengthening of bonds with father figures or teachers/ Events such as marriage, childbirth, or nurturing family ties may occur, 8H moon events linked to Interest in emotional healing or therapy to address past traumas/ gains through inheritance/ Possible focus on health, particularly related to reproductive organs, digestion, or mental well-being/ Interest in alternative healing methods or psychological therapies/ Periods of emotional isolation or intense self-reflection may occur/ Increased curiosity or involvement in spirituality, astrology,7H moon events linked to bringing recognition, popularity, or opportunities for interaction with the public/ An afflicted Moon could lead to mood swings, misunderstandings, or conflicts in relationships/ managing expectations and criticism could be stressful/could indicate issues with hormonal imbalances, digestion, or stress-related problems.

6H moon events linked to Increased focus on health, nutrition, and emotional well-being/Potential for minor health issues related to stress, digestion, or mental health, depending on the Moon's condition (afflicted or strong)/If afflicted, work-related stress or dissatisfaction might arise/ Efforts to clear debts or financial obligations/ If the Moon is unstable, there may be inconsistency or struggle to maintain balance, 5H moon events linked to New romantic connections might form, often with an emotionally fulfilling and nurturing partner/Focus on children becomes prominent- could mean having children, increased involvement in their lives, or emotional fulfilment through parenting/ Opportunities for higher education, especially in creative fields like art, music, or literature/ Potential issues with digestion or hormonal imbalances if the Moon is under affliction,4H moon events linked to deep connections with family and roots, particularly the mother or maternal figures/ Renovation, relocation, or acquisition of property, a home, or land/ The health or well-being of the mother may require attention, depending on the Moon's strength, 3H moon linked to Strengthening bonds with siblings, cousins, or close relatives/ Resolving past conflicts or offering emotional support to siblings/ Frequent short-distance travels, possibly related to work or leisure, 2H moon events linked to If the Moon is well-placed (e.g., in Taurus, Cancer, or Pisces), there could be a significant boost in income, wealth accumulation, or investments/ If the Moon is weak there could be instability in finances or unexpected expenses/ Overreaction to minor family or financial issues, leading to mental stress or decision-making driven by emotions rather than logic, 1H moon events linked to shifting towards improving physical health or appearance/emphasize self-awareness, self-expression.

your antardasha with your moon mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Sun Antardasha-Recognition, improved confidence, leadership roles.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Moon Antardasha- Emotional well-being, focus on relationships and family.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Mars Antardasha- Energy surge, possible emotional volatility.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Mercury Antardasha-Enhanced communication, creativity, and social interactions.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Jupiter Antardasha- Peaceful family life, spiritual growth, prosperity.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Venus Antardasha-Romantic harmony, material pleasures, aesthetic pursuits.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Saturn Antardasha- Responsibility, emotional resilience, challenges.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Rahu Antardasha- Disruptions, unexpected gains, emotional confusion.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Ketu Antardasha- Spiritual insights, detachment from worldly matters.

mars mahadasha: lasts 7 years

pursuit of goals

conflicts

injuries

career advancements in dynamic fields eg, engineering

property acquisition

12H mars events linked to Career opportunities in foreign locations or industries with global outreach/ Confrontations with hidden enemies, rivals, or legal issues/Possible health issues related to inflammation, accidents, or surgeries, 11H mars events linked to Increased financial gains, especially if Mars aspects the 2nd or 5th house/Potential career shifts involving real estate, technology, engineering, or entrepreneurship/ Surge in energy, drive, and physical stamina, 10H mars events linked to Opportunities for leadership roles/ Motivation to take bold actions that bring recognition and authority/ Potential disputes or challenges with authority figures or colleagues/ Acquisition of land, property, or vehicles may occur, 9H mars events linked to risk-taking, and embarking on exciting new projects, especially in areas related to travel, publishing, or exploration/ may face legal disputes or conflicts regarding ethical or moral decisions/ disagreements or confrontations with teachers, mentors, or father figures, 8H mars events linked to facing legal issues, conflicts/ there could be involvement in scandals/ Increased inclination toward bold decisions, possibly involving investments or entrepreneurial ventures/ might bring separations or endings to relationships, 7H events linked to disagreements or power struggles with a spouse or partner if not managed carefully/ might bring opportunities for relocation, especially related to career or a partner/ public disputes or criticism, 6H mars events linked to success in fields related to law enforcement, defence, healthcare, or litigation is likely/ adopting a disciplined fitness routine or overcoming chronic health issues/ involve paying off loans or managing financial liabilities, 5H mars events linked to focus toward education or creative fields, especially in areas requiring strategy, boldness, or physical activity/ Intense romantic relationships or passionate love affairs/ Risk-taking in speculative ventures like the stock market or gambling, 4H mars events linked to involvement in real estate matters such as buying, selling, or constructing property/Sudden changes in the living situation, such as relocating to a new home/ Purchase of new vehicles or upgrades to existing ones, 3H mars events linked to learning new skills, particularly those involving hands-on or physical effort/Care may be needed to avoid accidents or injuries involving the hands, shoulders, or during short travels/ Frequent short trips, either for work or personal growth, 2H mars events linked to heightened activity or conflicts within the family/Miscommunication or arguments could arise/A shift in personal values, 1H mars events linked to increased energy and focus on physical fitness/Potential for health issues related to injuries, fevers, or head-related problems/ may need to guard against rash decisions or confrontations.

your antardasha with your mars mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ Sun Antardasha- Assertiveness, leadership, potential conflicts.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Moon Antardasha- Emotional highs and lows, focus on family.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mars Antardasha- High energy, bold decisions, possible aggression.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mercury Antardasha- Sharp intellect, communication successes, potential disputes.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Jupiter Antardasha- Growth, wisdom, and spiritual aspirations.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Venus Antardasha- Romantic encounters, creative endeavors, indulgence.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Saturn Antardasha- Hard work, career stability, delays.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Rahu Antardasha- Ambition-driven changes, risks, and gains.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Ketu Antardasha- Withdrawal, spiritual focus, endings of cycles.

mercury mahadasha: lasts 17 years

success in education

growth in writing

teaching others something new

enhanced social events

nervous system illnesses and health issues eg, anxiety, panic attacks etc.

12H mercury events linked to opportunities for relocating to or working in foreign lands/ Interest in learning mystical or abstract subjects like philosophy, psychology, or spirituality/Dealing with issues related to immigration, foreign investments, or disputes, 11H mercury events linked to misunderstandings in friendships or social circles/ Miscommunications or conflicts in professional or personal setting/ Success in educational or intellectual pursuits,10H mercury events linked to public speaking, writing, or intellectual discussions/Pursuit of higher education or specialized training to enhance career prospects/gain popularity through effective communication or innovative ideas, 9H mercury events linked to higher education opportunities/ Success in exams, certifications, or research/ Opportunities to learn new languages or skills/Relocation to a foreign country for studies or career advancements, 8H mercury events linked to trust issues or conflicts over shared resources/Periods of emotional intensity or fear of the unknown/New beginnings after endings, such as starting a fresh career or personal chapter, 7H mercury events linked to signing important contracts or forming alliances in business/Improved communication in relationships/marriage or significant relationship developments could occur, 6H mercury events linked to bringing opportunities to resolve karmic issues related to work, health, or service/ There may be a desire or need to pursue further education, certifications/ may face challenges in communication with co-workers, 5H mercury events linked to pursuit of higher education or specialized knowledge/New romantic relationships that are mentally stimulating or based on shared intellectual interests/ Success in childbirth and a focus on the intellectual development of children, 4H mercury events linked to changes in your living situation, possibly related to intellectual or family matters/Potential mental stress or emotional conflicts needing resolution/may also start to address any unresolved emotional issues that affect your communication and intellectual growth, 3H mercury events linked to focusing on connecting with a wide range of people, whether through social media, professional networks, or educational pursuits/Learning could become a central theme, and they may be drawn to acquire practical or specialized knowledge/short journeys and travel can become more frequent or significant, 2H mercury events linked to bringing health-related events concerning speech or the vocal cords/dealing with inheritance, family-owned businesses/ focus on earning money through communication-related fields,1H mercury events linked to opportunities for self-improvement, refinement of personal identity/Possible challenges with overthinking, stress, or scattered focus/Health concerns related to the nervous system or respiratory issues.

your antardasha with your mercury mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Sun Antardasha-Success in communication, leadership in intellectual endeavors.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Moon Antardasha-Emotional expression, creative focus.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mars Antardasha- Dynamic decision-making, intellectual arguments.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mercury Antardasha- Peak communication skills, learning, social growth.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Jupiter Antardasha- Wisdom, financial gains, spiritual focus.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Venus Antardasha- Creativity, romantic developments, luxury gains.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Saturn Antardasha- Patience in work, career consolidation, focus on responsibilities.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Rahu Antardasha- Innovation, unconventional ideas, potential instability.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Ketu Antardasha- Detachment, reflection, unique insights.

examples- during a mercury mahadasha (which is placed in the 8th house- linked to death and transformational events- my grandmother passed. it was during a saturn antardahsa that is placed in the 10th house which can often represents publicity. it was during a moon period also which links to the mother/ maternal side of family- she was in fact a mother figure.

jupiter mahadasha: lasts 16 years

marriage

childbirth

spiritual awakening

financial stability

opportunities for higher learning

overindulges and financial risks

12H jupiter events linked to resolving past karmic debts/focus on mental health, working through any subconscious issues that may affect their well-being/ undergo psychological transformation or healing, 11H jupiter events linked to increased communication with friends and colleagues/heightened public profile/ online education, social media, or content creation,10H jupiter events linked to significant career growth/make you overly confident in your career decisions, leading to overextension or unrealistic expectations/increase in income, 9H jupiter events linked to bringing opportunities for advanced studies, traveling abroad for education/pursue higher education or specialized studies, possibly abroad, with a focus on philosophy, religion, law, or foreign cultures/ expansion opportunities, 8H jupiter events linked to be drawn to the study of occult sciences, psychology, or metaphysical subjects, expanding your understanding of life's mysteries/may experience events that force you to adapt intellectually or communicate in ways that encourage deep self-exploration/may communicate in a way that deepens intimacy or resolves hidden issues in relationships. You might also explore subjects related to sexuality, psychology, or shared emotional experiences with a partner, leading to profound growth, 7H jupiter events linked to overindulgence or unrealistic expectations/involve entering a marriage or partnership with someone who shares intellectual interests/experience favorable outcomes in legal matters or business agreements,6H jupiter events linked to improvement in health or the ability to manage ongoing health issues/ focus on mental health, stress management, and using intellect to improve physical well-being/new job opportunities,5H jupiter events linked to heightened artistic output/enter into a fulfilling and expansive love affair/highly auspicious for having children,4H jupiter events linked to opportunities to learn about your ancestral lineage/ undergo significant emotional healing/ nurturing and supportive influence from your mother, 3H jupiter events linked to forming connections that broaden your influence, especially with people from different backgrounds or cultures/experience meaningful travels/bring opportunities for higher education,2H jupiter events linked to improvements in your family’s financial situation/could bring issues related to overindulgence or weight gain/brings wealth through various links, 1H jupiter events linked to leading to long-distance travel, cultural exchanges, or experiences that broaden your understanding of the world/can bring new people and opportunities into your life/engage in new health practices, adopt a healthier lifestyle, or embark on an exercise routine that enhances your overall vitality.

your antardasha with your jupiter mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Sun Antardasha-Growth in leadership, success, and wisdom.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Moon Antardasha- Emotional fulfillment, peaceful family life.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mars Antardasha- Ambitious pursuits, bold decisions, leadership.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mercury Antardasha-Learning, communication skills, teaching opportunities.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Jupiter Antardasha-Spiritual growth, wealth accumulation, opportunities.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Venus Antardasha-Harmony, luxury, and artistic endeavors.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Saturn Antardasha-Structured growth, disciplined success, challenges.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Rahu Antardasha-Unexpected opportunities, material focus.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Ketu Antardasha-Spiritual detachment, profound insights.

venus mahadasha: lasts 20 years

romantic relationships

financial prosperity

career growth in arts and aesthetics

acquisition of wealth and luxury

health concerns related to sugar and reproductive organs

12H venus events linked to luxury and comfort in foreign lands/ Spiritual growth and harmony through creative expression/Emotional struggles in relationships, secrecy, or isolation in love life, 11H venus events linked to increase in income streams/Fulfillment of long-held desires, such as purchasing a dream home, car, or luxury items/Living a comfortable and aesthetically pleasing lifestyle, 10H venus events linked to formation of significant romantic relationships, often with someone influential or from a professional setting/Opportunities to acquire property, vehicles, or luxurious items/A tendency toward excessive luxury or attachment to material comforts might create financial strain, 9H venus events linked to meeting a romantic partner during travel, education, or spiritual journeys/Pursuit of higher studies in creative or artistic fields such as literature, fine arts, music, or philosophy/ Significant foreign travel, possibly for higher education, career, or spiritual exploration,8H venus events linked to emotional turbulence, possessiveness, or issues of secrecy and trust in romantic relationships/ Periods of emotional vulnerability, including facing fears or hidden insecurities/Exploration of healing practices, such as alternative medicine or therapy,7H venus events linked to a strong likelihood of marriage/Acquisition of material comforts like a new home, luxury items, or vehicles/Enjoyable leisure trips or honeymoons,6H venus events linked to improvements in health routines/Support from professionals like dietitians, therapists, or wellness coaches/Debts, expenses on luxury items, or legal battles involving finances, 5H venus events linked to strong focus on romantic relationships/childbirth and receiving good new about children/having success with hobbies or falling in love with a certain hobby, 4H venus events linked to childbirth/ new addition to the family whether its a new sibling or cousin and such/moving house,3H venus events linked to lots of meaningful roadtrips/ successful communications with siblings and online/ online fame, 2H venus events linked to eating lots of good food/ gaining weight because of it/ eating too much sweet food/ cooking more often,1H venus events linked to self confidence/ regaining self care/ taking care of your beauty routine and hygiene.

your antardasha with your venus mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Sun Antardasha- Recognition in creative fields, leadership in arts.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Moon Antardasha- Romantic fulfillment, emotional depth.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mars Antardasha- Energy-driven success, bold decisions.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mercury Antardasha- Creative communication, intellectual success.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Jupiter Antardasha- Wealth, harmony, spiritual pursuits.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Venus Antardasha-Peak luxury, artistic recognition, romantic harmony.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Saturn Antardasha- Focus on stability, discipline, and practical pleasures.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Rahu Antardasha- Ambitions in luxury, unconventional partnerships.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Ketu Antardasha- Spiritual creativity, detachment from indulgence.

saturn mahadasha: lasts 19 years

challenges and delays

heightened focus on responsibilities

financial struggles followed by eventual rewards

periods of isolation

12H saturn events linked to depressed episodes/ isolation/ feeling suicidal, 11H saturn events linked to goals being achieved/ a new beginning of some sort, 10H saturn events linked to isolation/ having panic attacks/ being more self aware and reacting to other reactions towards what you do, 9H saturn events linked to opportunities for pursuing advanced studies/Significant journeys, especially for work, education, or spiritual purposes/Strained relationships with father, teachers, or authority figures, 8H saturn events linked to deep karmic lessons/suicidal thoughts or wanting to unalive oneself/ death in the family or just death/ major mental health issues, 7H saturn events linked to divorce- whether it be of parents, your own, or someone you know having a divorce that impacts you in a way/ legal problems to do with tax, document delay such as passport arriving or license being postponed, 6H saturn events linked to health problems/ getting severely sick and being impacted by it for potentially life long/ restricting diet or perhaps having a very poor diet, 5H saturn events linked to sparks dying/ interests falling apart or not working out/ finding an interest that you have been searching for a long time/final success in entertainment enjoyment, 4H saturn events linked to family disassociation/ leaving family home/ traveliing far awaty from home/ having conflict with family members, 3H saturn events linked to staying nonchalant/ reading more perhaps/posponed travel/ draining education, 2H saturn events linked to poor diet/ postponed finance opportunities which means bonus in job that is being postponed and so forth/ losing valuable items in home, 1H saturn events linked to un looked after appearance/ being depressed/ having a very isolative response to people.

your antardasha with your saturn mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Sun Antardasha-Career responsibility, leadership challenges.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Moon Antardasha- Emotional endurance, focus on home and stability.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mars Antardasha-Determined action, potential for conflicts.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mercury Antardasha- Strategic communication, intellectual growth.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Jupiter Antardasha- Structured spiritual growth, gradual prosperity.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Venus Antardasha- Balance between work and pleasures, creativity.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Saturn Antardasha- Discipline, karmic lessons, steady achievements.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Rahu Antardasha- Unexpected career twists, ambition.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Ketu Antardasha- Inner reflection, reduced material focus.

rahu mahadasha: lasts 18 years

Sudden gains or losses

travel

unconventional path

fame or infamy

challenges related to addiction or deceit

spiritual evolution if well-placed

12H rahu events linked to development in spirituality/ spiritual awakening/ travel to foreign land and having success, 11H rahu events linked to positive changes to social circle/ meeting someone destined or fateful/ turning passion into something real and organic/ achieving destined goals, 10H rahu events linked to destined career opportunities/having a successful career debut/ being recognised with your talents and being praised by it,9H rahu events linked to destined travel/ studying abroad/ having destined education education/ being inclined to teach their knowledge to the full of your potential, 8H rahu events linked to destined to destined transformational events happening in life/ major changes in life happening that changes your future/ big money opportunities, 7H rahu events linked to meeting someone karmic/ meeting a life long partner that most likely is destined or fate involved/ getting married, 6H rahu events linked to changes to the body and your health in a life changing way/ may give illness or heal illness that makes you take your health seriously and look after your health more carefully, 5H rahu events linked to transferring hobbies into something more entertaining/ learning a hobby that may give you opportunities that you have never thought of before/ experiencing destined flings and love interests, 4H rahu events linked to creating a family of own/ a new addition to immediate family whether its you getting pregnant or having a child/ destined events linked to family cycles that hopefully change for the better, 3H rahu events linked to destined education success/enhanced communicative skills including enhanced verbal skills/ learning how to be more confident/ destined local travel also/ relations with siblings taking a turn, 2H rahu events linked to destined money making opportunities/ reliving a finance mistake you've had before but learning from it/ experiencing some major finance transformations, 1H rahu events linked to destined appearance changes/ changes to style, fashion and beauty routine/ beauty transformation for the better.

your antardasha with your rahu mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Sun Antardasha-Unconventional leadership roles, challenges to ego.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Moon Antardasha- Emotional instability, focus on unorthodox relationships.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mars Antardasha- Risk-taking, dynamic actions, possible aggression.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mercury Antardasha- Unconventional communication, sudden opportunities.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Jupiter Antardasha-Spiritual growth amidst material changes.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Venus Antardasha- Intense romantic or material desires.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Saturn Antardasha-Grounding amidst chaos, slow but steady gains.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Rahu Antardasha- Amplified ambition, unorthodox successes or risks.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Ketu Antardasha- Spiritual liberation, detachment from chaos.

🤍🤍examples- a celebrity i studied debuted under a rahu mahadasha while their rahu is placed in the 10th house in their natal chart- symbolise career, opportunities, fame- they were under a sun mahadasha that the sun symbolises fame, and the time to shine which even more specifically their sun is placed in the 6th house- attached to labour, work and being overworked, physical appearance.

ketu mahadasha: lasts 7 years

Periods of introspection

spiritual growth

detachment from material pursuits

health issues

possibly abrupt changes in life circumstances

12H ketu events linked to changes of environment-which can be moving home/job/ hobby/ anything related to a shift in your atmosphere/ change in mentality, 11H ketu events linked to getting pushed to a new environment too quickly/ sudden changes in social groups/ forced to change occupation or how you make money,10H ketu events linked to change in job/ change in how you are viewd publically/ having a change of how you feel towards strangers,9H ketu events linked to being distant with your faith/ being put off from education and maybe not wanting to continue studying/ having no intentions to travel and having no passion for things that you used to,8H ketu events linked to death/ dept/ changes in spending habits, 7H ketu events linked to feeling lonely even if in relationship/ feeling no urge to be in a relationship, 6H ketu events linked physical illnesses occurring/ being more prone to unexpected illnesses and diseases- can occur in pets as well/ being strict with dieting, 5H ketu events linked to no interest in going out/ feeling more in tune with music or entertainment/ if in relationship losing attraction to partner, 4H ketu events linked to move in home/ family member fights/ old cycles occurring with family issues, 3H ketu events linked to unnecessary drama occurring/vehicle crashes/ poor communication/ staying more silent than usual/ sibling isolation, 2H ketu events linked to poor diet/ no interest in fulfilling basic hygiene/ not spending money or not recognising the amount of money that is being spent, 1H ketu events linked to going through a transformation/ appearance wise aswell.

your antardasha with your ketu mahadasha:

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Sun Antardasha- Inner transformation, potential challenges to ego.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Moon Antardasha-Emotional detachment, spiritual insights.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mars Antardasha- Energy directed toward spiritual or bold pursuits.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Mercury Antardasha- Intellectual detachment, spiritual communication.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Jupiter Antardasha- Profound wisdom, spiritual awakening.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Venus Antardasha- Romantic detachment, artistic focus.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Saturn Antardasha-Karmic resolutions, disciplined detachment.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Rahu Antardasha-Confusion, spiritual redirection from materialism.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡Ketu Antardasha-Deep spiritual evolution, endings of cycles.

🤍🤍examples- as soon as i entered my ketu mahadasha, i felt so disconnected with the world its crazy. i felt almost nothing, but felt everything at the same time- jokes on me, my ketu is placed in my 12th house- lots of mental health issues especially feeling numb about most things. i used to vivid dream like every day until i entered this mahadasha so weird.

but anyway if you made it this FARRRR, you're a real one fr 🤭but no i hope you enjoyed this post, and feel free to ask any questions 👀🌼😊

[eaterofman]

Yandere Coworker Harem x New Hire Reader: A Meeting with the CEO

Follow up to this post

Finally fed up with it all, you decide to leave... but you learn it may not be that easy.

Content Warnings: General creepiness, yanderes, financial manipulation, manipulation, power difference, gaslighting

AN: Holy shit the first part blew up, more so than any post I've ever made on tumblr... ever. Thank y'all, and I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations? Had to ignore a few asks since they were essentially the plot to this part, haha.

As nice as Jake is... it starts to wear on you. The seclusion from your other coworkers, Warren and Jax's constant attention, it all becomes too much. This was the easiest money you've ever made, but it almost felt... condescending in a way. Seriously, you feel like you haven't actually worked in months, just given simple tasks to complete so that Jax could praise you. Otherwise, you felt like you were just eye candy set in a pretty office. No more, you figure. You make up your mind to go back to HR, it's been a long time coming. They either fix it, or you're gone.

With your mind made up, you return to Leon. He'd been so kind before, surely he'd help, right? As you explain your problems to him, he nods and gently smiles. In your distress, you don't notice his hand moving to cover yours, massaging yours comfortingly. You welcome the comforting sensation, overwhelmed to the point of not really considering the implications. You look into his dark eyes as you finish, silently pleading with him for help.

"That really is something. I'm sorry to hear your experience with the company has been so distressing. Tell me, do you have any proof?"

His demeanor seems to shift instantly back to the colder man you remember from your first sight of him. His fingers rubbing gentle circles into your palm shift into a harsher grip.

"Proof? I-I mean, the cameras have probably caught something?"

You'd say there were eyewitnesses, but all of your other coworkers had been avoiding you. You barely even knew their names...

"Unfortunately, our cameras have been malfunctioning lately, I doubt they'd catch anything. Without any actual witnesses, I'm afraid I can't do anything for you."

"How can you say that without even looking? This place is insane- you know what? I'm just quitting. I can't take this anymore."

You try to remove your hand but he keeps it there. His gaze is suddenly ice cold. He lets your hand go after a few moments of tension, fingers lingering before you yank your hand to your chest.

"Ah, you could quit... but I'd really recommend against it. You'd of course have to pay the dues you signed in your contract, as well as any additional fees. I'm not in charge of finances, but my estimate would be somewhere around... 200 thousand or so?"

You gasp, blood running cold. 200 thousand?! You don't remember signing that, but you also don't recall really reading over the contract in your excitement. You try to think of a way out, surely there had to be some sort of loophole-

"Of course, there's always the option of asking the CEO to change your contract, but..."

You'd tuned anything after that out, insisting to meet with the CEO as soon as possible. Which, to your surprise, was almost immediately. Almost like he'd been... waiting for you? Leon himself lead you to the CEO's room, at the very top of the skyscraper your office resided in. As you're let in, you're met with the biggest office you'd ever seen. It composed of the entire top floor of the skyscraper, massive windows encircling the entire ornate office.

You really try to ignore the feeling that you're walking into a trap.

The CEO was patiently waiting for you. Like a king on a throne, he sat in the middle of the room in front of a surprisingly simple desk. You'd heard of the CEO, Kennedy Grey, but you'd never met him in person before. He had an air of sophistication around him, an older gentlemen with salt and pepper hair and a well trimmed beard. His suit was pristine and looked expensive, probably costing more than your entire yearly salary. He smiled, urging the two of you to sit. His eyes glanced over to Leon's, a slight smirk on his face as if the two were in on a joke you weren't.

"So, what brings you two here? I've heard very good things about you from Jax. Things are going well, I presume?"

You fidget, despite his welcoming tone, he felt oddly... menacing. Like you weren't supposed to disagree with him, even if he asked you a question. You begin to explain your issues, but are quickly stopped with a firm look of disapproval when you bring up the idea of leaving the company.

"Now now, we can't have that, can we? With your contract, that wouldn't be a very smart idea, would it?"

Before you can even respond, he simply continues to talk over you.

"No, no it wouldn't. And you've just been such a good worker, we'd just hate to lose you."

"Well, I was actually hoping we could talk about the contract, I just don't think it's fair-" you can barely get your thoughts out as he cuts you off again.

"Unfair? But my dear, you signed it. I'd just hate to get my lawyers involved... they're top of the line, y'know? Besides, you don't actually want to leave, you're just... stressed. What do you need, a paid week off? A bonus for your hard work?"

"No-"

"Well, now that that's done, let's get back to work, shall we? You'll have a bonus on your next pay-"

You've had enough of his condescension and interruptions, it's time for you to interrupt him.

"You know what, I'll take the lawsuit. You people are insane. You can have the money if you want, but I'm out of here."

As you get up, you find you can't. Leon has moved behind you, surprisingly strong arms holding your chair in, preventing you from moving. You look up at him in angered confusion, but he's sharing a look with Kennedy. You once again feel like you're missing an important part of an inside joke again. You try to struggle, but you're stopped as Kennedy interrupts.

"Apartment 101, Evergreen Apartments, right?"

"W-wha-"

"You know, I've been venturing into the rental market recently. Very profitable at the moment. I actually just bought a few buildings in your area, including your little apartment. Such a shame, you know you could do better, right? All you have to do is ask..."

He smiles at you as if this was a normal conversation to him, like he was doing you a favor.

"I guess that makes me your landlord now, if you think about it!" his smile turns colder, eyes crinkling like he's laughing at you, "That being said, I just don't see how you're going to pay for the rent increase without this job. I hate to do it, but it's a necessity, y'know? Cost of living and such."

He waves his hand like it's no big deal, like he isn't playing with your livelihood and threatening you.

"You could move out, of course, but well, word gets around, and I just don't know how the other investors in the area would react to your... history."

You feel dread well up in the pit of your stomach and tears in your eyes. He... has you. What could you even do? Moving out of the city would mean starting over, and that's if you could even find a place and a job to pay for said place, and paying for the lawsuit-

In your panic, you can only whimper, "I just... why? Why me? i don't understand-"

"That's the beauty of it all, you don't have to. All you have to worry about is coming in and doing your job. We'll handle all the rest."

You jump, having almost forgotten Leon was behind you in your panic. You go to open your mouth-

"Wonderful insight, Leon. Now that we're all on the same foot, let's get back to work, shall we?"

You can only numbly nod your head, too overwhelmed to continue fighting.

You're finally allowed to sit up and begin walking towards the door, trying to speed walk out of the huge room that somehow managed to feel claustrophobic. You just wanted out at this point, you needed somewhere to think.

As you step into the elevator, Leon staying behind in the office-thank god-you're interrupted one final time.

"Oh, and I meant what I said. If you ever need any assistance, anything at all, just come to me. All you have to do is ask."

[rothpie]

❝FIDELITY❞ |part16

MASTERLIST -`✮´- Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader x JJ Maybank

Summary: Kook!Reader’s world is upended by betrayal, and her only way forward might lie with the most unlikely person—JJ Maybank. But as they build a new life together, old flames and past mistakes refuse to stay buried.

Warnings: Quick perspective transitions. Mentioning abortion. Daddy issues.

Songs : Like him - Tyler, The Creator / Everything I wanted - Billie Eilish

previous - next

Two days ago, Cameron Estate.

Rafe knew his father was returning from his business trip today. Ward Cameron ran on a schedule as precise as a Swiss watch. The man liked every minute of his day to be planned down to the last detail. His flight time, the exact minute he’d walk through the door, even when he’d unpack his suitcase and step into the shower—it was all set in stone. 

Once upon a time, Rafe had a set schedule for stepping into this house too. But that was years ago. And back then, his timing never quite fit into his father’s plans. 

This time, Ward Cameron wasn’t the one in control. 

As he stepped out of the car, Rafe shoved his hands deep into his pockets. A cigarette might’ve helped take the edge off, but his hands might start shaking. He took a deep breath, feeling the knot tightening in his stomach. He’d replayed this moment in his head a thousand times, calculated every possible reaction. But looking the man in the eye and actually saying the words— That was something else entirely. 

He picked up his pace. 

When he opened the door, he was greeted by the familiar, suffocating perfection inside. The Cameron estate was always like this—grand, ostentatious, and cold. The walls were lined with expensive paintings, but none of them had any life. Just like the people who lived here. 

His eyes swept across the room quickly. 

There he was. 

Ward Cameron, seated at his usual spot at the desk. An open laptop in front of him, a pen in his hand. His brows were slightly furrowed, completely focused on the screen. So deep into his work that he hadn’t even noticed his son walking in. 

Across from him, Rose scribbled something into a notebook, occasionally glancing up to speak. Conversations in the Cameron family were never really conversations. They were business meetings. 

Rafe held his breath. 

Facing Ward Cameron was like slamming your head against a brick wall. The man listened with an emotionless, judgmental silence, dissected every word, found the weakest point—then struck. Rafe knew the drill. 

But this time, he wasn’t backing down. 

This wasn’t just about him. It was about his daughter, too. 

He stepped forward, his voice cutting through the room. “Hey—can we talk for a minute?” 

Rose’s head snapped up immediately. Ward, on the other hand, didn’t react at all. His eyes stayed glued to the screen. Rafe knew exactly what that meant—his father had already decided this was a conversation not worth his time. 

He’d heard him, obviously. But acknowledging his presence? That was a step too far. 

As always, to Ward Cameron, Rafe was a ghost. 

Rose gave him a quick glance, arching an eyebrow. Then, with an exaggerated sigh, she set her notebook down in her lap. That sigh? That wasn’t just impatience. That was because she saw him. “Rafe, We are really busy. Is this important?” 

His father’s voice finally echoed through the room, forcing Rafe to take a steadying breath. 

He didn’t even look up. 

Rafe’s jaw clenched. How had this become a routine? Every conversation started with "Is this really important?" As if he’d ever show up here for something trivial. 

Not that it mattered. 

If he had a problem, they wouldn’t fix it. Unless it was financial, of course. Because the only thing they truly understood was money. 

Even if it was their own son. 

“It is.” Rafe’s voice came out sharp, like a blade. 

That, at last, got Ward to look up. Though there wasn’t a shred of interest in his eyes. He exhaled slowly. “Is this about business? What happened?” 

Of course. 

If Ward Cameron cared, it had to be about money or the company. 

Rafe used to be hurt by that. Used to get angry. But by now, he was used to being invisible—to being treated like something disposable, something to be brushed aside. 

Didn’t mean it didn’t piss him off. 

His brows drew together. “No—” 

Rose sighed dramatically, cutting him off. “Rafe, if this isn’t urgent, your father and I are in the middle of something.” 

Oh, of course. 

Business. 

Rafe was interrupting the sacred Cameron work schedule. Couldn’t possibly be anything more important than that. 

He let out a humorless breath, lifting his brows as his eyes locked onto Rose. 

Sometimes, he swore she was messing with him. The only time he ever set foot in this house was when he had a damn reason. He hadn’t been here in months, and yet, the second he arrived, it was like he was an inconvenience. 

It was almost easy to forget when he wasn’t around them for a while. 

Almost. 

“Rose,” he said slowly, voice edged with irritation, “if it wasn’t important, do you think I’d drop everything and come straight here?” 

She looked like she was about to respond, but Ward held up a hand, signaling her to stop. Finally, his father actually looked at him. “Alright. I’m listening.” 

About damn time. 

Rafe tried to steady his breathing. This wasn’t easy to say. But putting it off wouldn’t make it any easier. He just wanted to get it over with. 

“I’m not gonna lie—this isn’t easy for me—” 

“Oh my God.” Rose cut him off again, exasperation dripping from her voice. 

Rafe’s eyes squeezed shut for a second. 

Her voice cracked through the room like a whip. Then, in th next breath, she turned to Ward, her face sharp with disappointment. “I told* you. And you didn’t listen. He’s back on drugs.” 

Rafe’s breath caught. What? 

His head shook quickly, side to side.

That’s what she jumped to? That’s where her mind immediately went? After everything—after clawing his way out of it, after fighting to prove himself—this was still the first assumption? 

Ward let out a slow breath. 

Disappointment. 

That was the only thing on his face. His eyes shut for a moment, fingers pushing his laptop slightly away. 

Rafe’s teeth clenched so hard his jaw ached. 

He hated their assumptions. He hated this family. 

“I’ve been clean for three years.” The words ground out between his teeth. 

“And you know that.” He exhaled sharply. 

Ward shook his head from side to side before turning to Rose. “Rose, please.” Like even having this conversation was a waste of time. 

Rafe clenched his fists. There was no point in dragging this out. The longer he stalled, the weaker he’d look. So he just said it. Even though it wasn’t easy, the words slipped out as if they were. “I have a daughter.” 

Silence. 

Nothing happened at first. 

But then, the cold, emotionless mask on Ward Cameron’s face cracked—fast. Rafe knew how rarely his father was caught off guard. Ward Cameron was always in control. Nothing ever truly rattled him. 

But this did. 

Ward locked eyes with his son. “What did you just say?” There was real surprise in his voice. He wasn’t angry yet—he was still in shock. Of course he was. 

Rafe pushed forward, fast. Because if he stopped, if Ward got a word in first, this conversation would be over before it even began. His father would rip him to shreds before he got the chance to explain. So Rafe took his shot. 

“You remember my ex girlfriend. She was pregnant before she left the island. And before you start yelling, Dad—she didn’t tell me. Well, she did. But I—” he exhaled sharply, “I did things I regret. And she left. Didn’t tell me where she was going. And now she’s back in the Outer Banks—” 

BAM! 

Ward slammed his fist against the table. Even Rose jumped at the sudden outburst, but Rafe only shut his eyes for a moment. Of course, his father wasn’t going to take this news and wrap it up in a nice little bow. He wasn’t going to pull him in for a hug and celebrate. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Ward’s voice boomed through the house, echoing so loudly it almost sounded like it came from another room. 

Rose rolled her eyes, letting out a dry, sarcastic laugh. “Jesus—are you actually determined to embarrass us in front of the entire island?” 

Rafe’s eyes narrowed. His face remained unreadable. His father yelling at him wasn’t surprising. He’d expected nothing else. 

But then Ward twisted the knife. “How hard was it to get rid of a baby?!” 

Rafe froze. 

For a moment, all he could hear was his own breathing. His chest tightened. His fists clenched even harder. He didn’t even know what to say. 

The words had left his father’s mouth so effortlessly, like it was that simple. Like it had ever been his decision to make. 

“She didn’t want to.” 

Didn’t want to. You didn’t want to. You and him disagreed, and this is what happened. What the hell else was he supposed to do? Force you? 

He would never do that. 

Ward ground his teeth, stepping closer. His face twisted with a fury that would’ve terrified most people. But Ward was his father. Rafe had grown up with that look. 

“And you just accepted it?! Like some weak little coward?!” 

The air in the room turned suffocating. 

The sharp rage in Ward Cameron’s eyes sliced through the room like a blade. His glare was the same as it had always been—decades of disappointment staring right back at him. And if there had been even the smallest shred of hope left in his father, Rafe was watching it disappear in real time. 

But he didn’t look away. He wasn’t a kid anymore. 

“What the hell was I supposed to do, Dad?” His voice was steady, firm—but underneath, there was a rage that had been building for years. A rage he had buried, silenced, ignored. And now, it was boiling over. “Drag her by the arm and force her into a clinic?” 

His fingers curled tighter at the thought. The very idea made his stomach churn. 

Forcing you to go to a clinic. Seeing the hatred in your eyes. Doing something you’d never forgive him for. 

The thought made him sick. 

Not to mention, you wouldn’t have let him. If he’d even tried, you would’ve fought him off, and he wouldn’t put it past you to run him over with a car right after. 

“You’re forgetting something,” Rafe said, without hesitation. “She is the woman I’m in love.” 

Love. 

When was the last time he’d actually said that out loud? He could barely remember. For years, he had barely spoken about you to anyone. But now, standing in front of his father, he didn’t waver. 

Saying it felt strange. Almost foreign. 

Ward let out a slow breath, shaking his head. His eyes held a cold, almost amused expression. He didn’t even care that his son was standing his ground. To him, Rafe was still that same pathetic little kid. Still nothing. 

“How do you still manage to surprise me?” Ward said, tilting his head slightly. “You keep making the dumbest goddamn choices—do you have any idea how exhausting it is to clean up your messes?” 

Clean up. 

Rafe’s jaw tightened. His father had never seen him as a person. Just a problem to fix. A mess that needed to be dealt with. And Ward Cameron’s number one priority in life was making sure nothing stained his perfect little world. 

But this time, Rafe wasn’t going to let him erase this. This wasn’t a problem. And he hadn’t come here for his father to handle it. 

“Dad—” Rafe started, but Ward cut him off. 

“Shut up!” Ward’s voice snapped through the air like a whip. 

Rafe lifted his head. His father was closer now, his face twisted with anger. And in his eyes, just beneath the surface, there was that familiar flicker of something more dangerous—something Rafe had known since childhood. 

But he wasn’t afraid anymore. 

Ward’s voice dropped, turning cold. “What’s her name?” 

Rafe hesitated. He hadn’t expected him to ask that. He had expected more yelling, more insults, more dismissals. But this—this was calculated. 

This meant she wasn’t even a person to him. She was a number. A problem to eliminate. 

Rafe swallowed. He didn’t want to tell him. 

“Dad, listen—” he tried again. 

But Ward’s voice cut through the room, even sharper.

“I asked for a name, Rafe.” His voice carried an impatient growl. It was a warning. A threat. His father saw his silence as defiance. 

Rafe narrowed his eyes, straightening his posture just enough to show he wasn’t the obedient son he used to be. But he exhaled slowly, keeping his tone measured—no need to set fire to the whole house just yet. 

“Liliana.” He came here to say it. To stop holding back. To stop hiding it. 

Ward nodded, considering it for a few seconds. Then, with that same ice-cold tone, he asked, “Does she carry the family name?” 

Rafe’s breath hitched. He knew exactly why that mattered. The name was ownership. 

And Liliana… she didn’t have his last name. 

“No.” 

Ward’s eyes narrowed. “Does she want it?” 

For the first time, Rafe genuinely hesitated. 

He didn’t know. 

They had never talked about it. That wasn’t his decision to make. Giving Liliana his last name—claiming her in that way—wasn’t something he could just decide on a whim. It wasn’t his right. Hell, she barely even knew him yet. 

So, he couldn’t lie. 

“I—I don’t know.” 

Ward exhaled sharply, shaking his head in instant disapproval. The look in his eyes was disgust. 

“I can’t believe I’m still cleaning up after you like you’re a goddamn child.” Then, just as fast, he turned to Rose. A plan was already forming in his eyes. “Rose.” His voice was crisp, final. “Sort it out. Write a check to the mother. Whatever it takes—let’s put an end to this nonsense.” 

Rafe’s eyes widened. His breath quickened. Just hearing it made his stomach churn. “The hell are you talking about?!” He stepped forward, gaze locked on his father. “That’s not why I came here.” 

Ward raised an eyebrow, as if truly surprised. “Excuse me?” His voice dripped with condescension, like he was warning Rafe to watch his next words carefully. 

Rose looked at Rafe now. The only thing in her eyes was disappointment. 

Rafe shook his head, hands running through his hair in frustration. “I didn’t come here so you could write a damn check.” 

He really didn’t get it. His father still thought money could fix everything. 

Buy out his mistakes. Sweep them under the rug. 

But this wasn’t a mistake. Liliana wasn’t a mistake. 

“And what other possible reason could you have for being here?” Ward asked, voice sharp. 

Rafe met his father’s gaze, unwavering. And then, with steady defiance, he answered. “I’m going to meet her.” 

A silence settled in the room. 

Rafe didn’t flinch. Didn’t back down. “I’m going to be her father. I’ll be there for her and—” 

Ward scoffed, shaking his head in mock amusement before letting out a bitter laugh. “Oh, fuck off.” It was dismissal. Pure and simple. 

Rose sighed, her voice soft, coaxing. “Rafe… you’re not thinking this through. Do you realize what this could do to us? To the company? She’s an illegitimate child.” 

Something inside Rafe cracked. 

Ward let out an irritated breath. He turned to Rose with a sharp, almost amused glare. “Oh, look at you. Talking to him like he has the capacity to understand.” His jaw clenched. “If he had a shred of intelligence, he wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.” 

“That’s enough.” Rafe shot back instantly, voice firm—but before he could continue, his father cut him off. 

“No, what’s enough is you.” Ward stepped forward, eyes dark and menacing. “None of what you just said is happening. Do you understand me? None of it.” 

But Rafe didn’t lower his gaze. For the first time in his life, he felt like he had fully stepped out of his father’s shadow. 

This wasn’t his decision to make. Liliana wasn’t his to control. 

Rafe is her father. And when it came to her—any decisions, any choices—he would be the one making them. Not Ward. 

“You don’t hold my leash anymore. Not now. Not ever.” His voice was low, steady, unwavering. 

If there was any decision to be made about Liliana, it would be his. Not this man’s. 

To hell with his reputation. 

“I’m telling you because I gave my word.” 

Ward’s eyes darkened. He stepped closer, tension crackling between them like a live wire. “If this damages our reputation in any way—” 

Rafe didn’t even let him finish. His voice was deadly quiet. “If you ever try to threaten them again—” He held his father’s gaze, his own filled with something darker, sharper. “That’s when things will really get messy, Dad.” 

Ward exhaled harshly. A dry, humorless chuckle escaped his lips. He stared at Rafe with pure disdain. That look—the one that told him he was a disappointment—wasn’t new. And it wouldn’t be the last time. 

“You,” Ward muttered, voice dripping with disgust. “You are my biggest regret.” 

Rafe smiled. It wasn’t a smirk of victory. It wasn’t smug satisfaction. It was quieter. Smaller. Like something had finally settled inside him. Like years of resentment had finally burned away into something else. Indifference. No expectations. No fear. 

Just the cold, quiet certainty that he no longer cared. 

"Pathetic." His voice was quiet, but sharp. The weight of that single word settled into the room like a heavy fog. When Rafe looked at his father’s face, he realized he didn’t even care whether the regret in his voice was genuine. It didn’t matter. Ward Cameron could regret, he could hate, he could burn with rage or act as if he couldn’t care less. But none of it reached Rafe anymore. 

"But that regret isn't strong enough to erase my existence. I, however, am." He stepped forward, closing the already narrow space between them. 

There was no fear in his expression. No anger, either. Just something resolute, something unwavering. And in Rafe’s eyes, there was something Ward had never been accustomed to seeing—perhaps something he had never wanted to see. Confidence. 

Ward lifted his chin slightly, his face as hard as stone. The man who had spent years speaking with sharp authority and smug indifference was now standing in front of a son who refused to cower, his brows furrowed as he tried to suppress his irritation. But it was there. The frustration seethed just beneath his controlled exterior, slipping through the cracks in his composure. 

"I'm the one who put you in charge of the company, Rafe," Ward said, his voice slicing through the air like a blade. "I can just as easily take it away." 

Rafe let out a breath of amusement—low, dismissive. He tilted his head just slightly, studying his father with something akin to pity. 

How many times had he heard that exact threat? How many times had he believed it? 

He remembered the panic it used to stir in him, the way it used to feel like a noose tightening around his neck. Back then, he had thought his father could destroy him, wipe him from existence with a snap of his fingers. But now? 

Now, he only smiled. 

"Not while I own shares." 

His voice was calm. Unshaken. There was no challenge in his tone, no outburst of defiance—just a simple, immovable fact. 

Ward’s frown deepened, as if trying to comprehend the shift. As if only now realizing that Rafe wasn’t just arguing with him—he was drawing a line in the sand. A real one. 

"I'm telling you this," Rafe said, his voice firm. "Not asking for your permission." The air in the room seemed to drop a few degrees. "I have a daughter." 

A barely perceptible flicker crossed Ward’s expression, but he said nothing. 

Rafe, however, felt something tighten in his throat the second the words left his mouth. Saying it out loud—especially to his father—made it real in a way he hadn’t fully prepared for. It made it final. There was no taking it back. And once that truth had been spoken into existence, he knew nothing would ever be the same again. 

But he wouldn't take it back. 

"And I won’t ignore her," Rafe continued, swallowing hard but refusing to waver. His voice, steady and sure, sliced through the heavy silence. 

Ward inhaled deeply. He didn't break eye contact, but the tension in his jaw gave him away. 

"I’m not you," Rafe added. His voice didn’t rise, didn’t falter. He just stated it as it was. "That’s the difference between us." 

Ward’s expression went completely cold. The anger was there, of course—but beneath it, beneath the hard lines of his face, was something else. A realization. The unmistakable recognition that he had lost control of his son. Completely. 

Finally, Ward clenched his jaw and spoke, voice razor-sharp. "Get out." 

The words hung in the air, less of a command and more of a curse. A punctuation mark to a conversation that had just rewritten the rules between them. 

Rafe tilted his head slightly, let his gaze linger on his father for just a second longer. Then, without losing that faint, knowing smile, he answered. 

"Gladly." 

And without looking back, he walked out the door.

That was never the point. Not from the start. 

It wasn’t the fights or the way things kept spiraling between them. No matter how much of a mess things became, it had never been about that. 

He couldn’t react properly. He had no idea what the hell was wrong with him, but JJ just... didn't know what to do. Not once in his life had he dealt with something like this. This was a first. 

Catching feelings for his best friend. 

He had no idea how to handle it. Every time he tried to fix things, that stupid part of him kicked in and somehow made everything worse. Even when he just wanted to sit down and talk things out, it always turned into a disaster. And he knew—he fucking knew—that it was all on him. 

He just couldn’t do it. It was too much. His mind felt like it was playing tricks on him, like he couldn’t think straight. Every time he so much as thought about you and that idiot, his entire perspective shifted. 

But deep down, he knew that wasn’t the real fear. 

JJ had been with you for five years. Every single day. Under the same roof, in the same home. You cooked together, you ate together—you raised a child together. 

He got used to you. So used to your presence that he couldn’t function without it. And it wasn’t just about getting used to you. You became a part of his life. The missing piece that finally clicked into place. You weren’t just there—you were whole. You, JJ, and Liliana. 

And he was terrified of losing you. Of losing Liliana, of watching her warm up to Rafe and realizing she didn’t need JJ anymore. Of seeing that look in your eyes again—the one you used to have at parties five years ago when you looked at Rafe like he was your entire world. 

Because he remembered. 

JJ remembered what you and Rafe had been like. The way you looked at each other, the way you kissed. Back then, it hadn’t even registered to him. But the closer he got to you, the clearer those memories became. 

And he hated remembering every single one of them. 

Because you loved him. You loved Rafe. And there wasn’t a single soul on that island who didn’t know it. Not just you. No matter how much he wanted to pretend otherwise, Rafe loved you too. 

That was the scary part. If it had happened once, it could happen again. You had felt that way before—what was stopping you from feeling it again? 

In Asheville, it had been just you, Liliana, and JJ. 

But ever since you came back here, JJ felt like he was losing his mind. 

Ever since you kissed him, he hadn’t been able to focus. He was getting lost in you. Every second that he didn’t tell you, it ate away at him—but he just couldn’t say it. 

You were air, and he needed to breathe. 

You were water, and he was parched. 

JJ needed you to survive, but he was so fucking stupid. 

He always had been. Always. His entire life. But for the past five years, he must’ve been extra stupid. 

How the hell did someone mistake being in love with their best friend for something else? 

How was he supposed to see you as just a friend when he could barely breathe without you? You weren’t just his best friend. You were his closest person. His safest place. But to JJ, you were something more. You had been for years. You were the woman he loved and his best friend all in one. 

And he was so fucking blind. So unbelievably stupid. 

It didn’t sit right with him. Loving you felt wrong somehow. Like he was—what? Taking advantage of you? But he wasn’t. 

All JJ ever wanted was for you to be at peace. And yet, he was the one messing with that peace. 

He had been such an emotionally stunted idiot that he practically turned himself into a fucking rock just to avoid admitting his feelings. And the second he stepped out of that house, he regretted it. But what the hell was he even supposed to say? 

‘You kissed me. It felt weird because, actually, I’m in love with you, and you definitely only see me as your best friend. So instead of telling you, I’m just running away from you?’

Maybe. 

Well, yeah. Maybe that was exactly it. 

Shit. 

Of course, he should’ve talked to you. It was just really fucking hard. 

He was scared of losing you. Not just to Rafe—but of losing what you had altogether. 

When he walked out of that house that night, he wasn’t thinking. He had no plan, no idea where he was even going. It wasn’t like he had meant to stay away for three days. He just... didn't know how to talk to you. 

“You’re the dumbest man I’ve ever met. You know that, right?” 

JJ lowered his head as Cleo grabbed his beer and stood up. He didn’t look at her. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Pope clear his throat and shoot Cleo a warning look. He didn’t need Pope to warn her. JJ was already painfully aware of everything. 

“And a coward.” Cleo scoffed. “Don’t look at me like that, Pope. If there’s someone who needs to hear it, it’s JJ. He’s our friend too. And I think he deserves better than being a pathetic idiot who can’t admit his feelings.” 

She turned to walk off the porch without looking back. 

JJ lifted his head, about to argue, but Cleo was already gone—like a storm passing through before you even had the chance to take cover. 

And the worst part? 

She was right. He hadn’t said a single damn thing about his feelings. Not a single word about what was going on in his head. 

And yet, she knew. Of course, she did. 

Because this? 

This was exactly the kind of shit a coward would do.

“Don’t mind Cleo. You know she just wants the best for both of you.” Pope placed a reassuring hand on JJ’s back, giving it a small pat. JJ’s shoulders slumped. 

He shook his head. He didn’t think he deserved any sympathy. “Cleo’s right. I’m just—a fucking idiot. That’s what this is.” 

His phone buzzed on the table, the notification lighting up the screen. But when JJ glanced at it, the message wasn’t what caught his attention. It was the wallpaper. The one photo he could never bring himself to change. You and Liliana. 

“Even when it comes to feelings?” Pope’s voice reached him, but honestly, JJ just wanted to keep looking at the photo for a little longer. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you and Liliana. 

The way you were smiling at the camera—it almost made his lips twitch into a smile, too. You were happy. Just like before you came back here. 

“Yes.” The word slipped out before he could stop it. He didn’t even try to. Maybe because, for once, he wanted to stop lying about this. To himself, to anyone. What was the point? 

“You know that’s not wrong, right—” 

JJ was already shaking his head before Pope could finish. But Pope straightened up, refusing to let it go. 

“Cleo and I were best friends. Sarah and John B were best friends. There’s nothing wrong with—” 

“It’s not the same.” JJ shook his head harder this time. There was a scream inside him, clawing to get out. At who, at what, he didn’t know. He just wanted to let it out. When Pope opened his mouth to argue again, JJ turned to him sharply. 

“I’ve lived with her for five years, you guys caught feelings in a few months. I never once looked at her that way. Never once even had the thought of—of touching her cross my mind. They’re my family.” JJ’s lips pressed into a hard line. The tip of his nose stung. 

When no one else was there, you were. And when you had no one else, he was there. You chose each other. You weren’t just friends. You weren’t just people who happened to live together. You were a family. You were built for this. JJ’s family was never his father. And sure, for a long time, his family had been the Pogues, but the bond he built with you—somewhere along the way, that changed everything. 

“So don’t stand there and tell me this isn’t wrong. I wasn’t born yesterday. I’ve never had a real family—not in the way I should have. No offense. And now that I do, I’m not about to lose it just because of a few stupid feelings.” JJ clenched his fists, trying to keep his frustration in check. He wasn’t mad at Pope. He was mad at himself. 

Pope’s eyebrows lifted slightly. He leaned in closer, resting his arms on the table. “Just so you know—you’re not gonna lose them. But if you do, it’s not gonna be because of your ‘few stupid feelings.’ It’s gonna be because you’re acting like a blind idiot.” 

Pope tapped on JJ’s phone screen, making it light up again. Your and Liliana’s picture glowed in the dim light of the porch. “If you don’t wanna lose them, then stop acting like you do. Because you’ve been here for two fucking days—and hey, I don’t mind, you’re always welcome. But every day you stay here instead of going home is another step closer to losing them. Open your eyes.” 

JJ looked up, locking eyes with his friend. Pope’s expression was unreadable, but his voice left no room for argument. 

JJ swallowed hard. He had nothing to say. Not because he didn’t want to. But because he didn’t know how to. 

Even with how much of a goddamn idiot he’d been these past few days, he had no idea how to fix any of this. 

His gaze flickered back toward the house he’d left behind. 

Funny, how leaving could become a habit. This was the second time he’d walked out of that house after a fight. Again, both of you ended up hurt. Again, neither of you deserved it. 

His fingers curled into fists at Pope’s words echoing in his head. Of course he was right. Everyone was right these days—everyone but JJ. Pope was always right. Always the one with the advice, always the one who never seemed to screw up. 

JJ wished he could be like that. Maybe if he had even a little bit of Pope’s level-headedness, he wouldn’t have made half the mistakes he had. He didn’t regret his past mistakes—not really. They made him who he was. 

But the mistakes he made after meeting you? He regretted every single one. 

And this latest one? The biggest one? 

Kissing you. 

Again. 

One week later, he’d kissed you again. And not once did it feel wrong. It felt complete. 

But it shouldn’t have been like that. Not after a fight. Not out of anger, not out of frustration. If he was ever going to kiss you, it should’ve been because he told you how he felt. Because you wanted him to. Because you felt the same way. 

His hands were trembling. He looked down at them, sucking in a shaky breath.

Leaving the house had been a mistake—just like every word that had ever come out of his mouth. 

When his gaze lifted from the ground and met the door once again, the weight of everything inside him became unbearable. He wasn't going to let this happen again. 

He took quick steps toward the door, retracing the path he'd just walked. He wasn’t leaving this house again. He wasn’t leaving you and Liliana again. This wasn’t just hurting him—it was hurting you too. Not again. 

He swung the door open and stepped inside. He knew the way by heart. 

And when he reached the kitchen, he saw you again. 

Your hands were gripping the edge of the counter so tightly it looked like you needed it to stay upright. If you let go, you’d collapse. You looked so fragile—like you’d shatter the second you lost your hold. And when he saw the silent tears slipping between your tightly shut eyelids, JJ’s heart clenched in his chest. 

Your lips were pressed together, trembling slightly. It was like you were trying to keep any sound from escaping, crying in the quietest way possible. 

JJ’s breath caught in his throat. He knew he’d let you down in every possible way, but seeing you like this? It felt like someone had poured boiling water down his spine. 

He wanted to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. He wanted to do anything—everything—to make you forgive him. Fuck love—he didn’t care about love anymore. If staying by your side as a friend for the rest of his life meant you’d never have to cry again, he’d take it. If letting Rafe back into your life meant you’d be happy, he’d accept it. 

Just so you’d smile again. Just so you’d never cry because of him again. 

He took a step forward without thinking, but the second the wooden floor creaked beneath his foot, your eyes fluttered open. One of your hands lifted from the counter, moving toward your face as your gaze locked with his. 

JJ’s mind blanked the second he saw your tear-streaked, flushed face. Every thought, every word he had lined up in his head vanished in an instant. That was the effect you had on him—your gaze, your presence, your touch. Everything else faded away. 

You were the only thing that was real. The only thing that stayed white in a world drowning in black. And no matter what anyone said, no matter how much darkness tried to creep in, that wouldn’t change. You were untouchable. 

Then your lips curled—not into a smile, but something bitter, something that twisted a knife in his chest. "What is it now? Thinking of some other words to tear me apart?" 

Your voice shook. Because of him. Because he had made you cry. 

JJ nearly dropped his head in shame. He never should've left. Not again. "No," he murmured, barely above a whisper. His head shook on its own, as if trying to erase every mistake, every word that had brought you to this moment. If he could take it all back, he would. 

But he couldn’t. 

So he stood there, waiting for a miracle—knowing damn well miracles didn’t exist. 

He had to let it go. Every ounce of anger, every bit of resentment. He had to let it all go. 

You had to know the truth. 

“No?” A hollow laugh slipped through your lips, your arms wrapping tightly around yourself. Your head dropped for a second, but when you lifted it again, the brief moment of humor was gone. Your face twisted with nothing but fury. “No? Are you fucking kidding me? Then why are you still here?” 

You stormed forward, shoving him in the chest. JJ stumbled back. And you did the same, like you had to put as much distance between you as possible. 

JJ didn’t know what to do. 

He couldn’t lose you. He couldn’t lose Liliana. He couldn’t. 

“I—” 

“You what? What the hell are you gonna say this time? First, you come home and ruin my entire mood! You pick a fight with me, and then—and then—” Your voice cracked, but it didn’t stop you. It only made your anger burn hotter. You ran your hands through your hair, pacing in the kitchen like you had no idea what to do with yourself. 

“I didn’t know what to do—I’m sorry. I messed up—” JJ tried, but you didn’t let him finish. 

“Oh, fuck off! Messed up?! Who the hell do you think you’re fooling? You think this is some tiny little mistake? A fight we can just get over, just brush under the rug?” You stepped back, leaning against the counter as your eyes burned holes into him. 

JJ wanted to say something, anything, but he just clenched his jaw. 

The tears on your face were still fresh. Your eyes were red, raw, and swollen. And knowing that he was the reason for it? That he was the one who had broken you like this? It was disgusting. 

He hadn’t realized it would go this far. He hadn’t realized he could hurt you this much. 

A dry, humorless laugh escaped your lips, and JJ inhaled sharply. He stood there, listening, because he knew you needed to let it out. 

“And the worst part? You’re not even apologizing for any of that,” you spat, voice dripping with venom. “Not for the fights. Not for the last week of absolute hell. Not for all the shit you put me through. No. You’re apologizing because—because you kissed me? That’s what’s too much for you?” 

JJ shook his head frantically, wanting to cut in, to explain himself, but you didn’t give him the chance. 

“That’s your fucking line?” you yelled. “That’s the thing that crossed the line for you?! Not hurting me, not leaving Liliana waiting for you every damn day, but that? Kissing me?” 

Your voice was so loud it felt like it shook the whole house. 

JJ knew he had no right to be concerned, but he was. He wanted to tell you to breathe, to calm down—but he didn’t. He just looked at you. He accepted every word. 

“No—” 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” you screamed. Your hands moved as if you were going to grab him, but at the last second, you stopped yourself, pulling back like even touching him was a mistake.

JJ… he just accepted your anger. If anything, he preferred you lashing out at him rather than enduring silence. 

"I'm sorry for everything. Just— not for the kiss." JJ's voice came out hoarse. Your back was turned to him. He watched your whole body tremble. Even as you clung tightly to the counter, you didn’t look okay. 

You were shaking. Crying. But it was so silent that if the house weren’t dead quiet, JJ wouldn’t have heard a thing. 

He took a step forward and reached out a hand. But before he could touch you, you wiped your tears away and turned. JJ immediately took a step back. 

"Why… What did I do to you?" Watching the tears slowly roll down your cheeks was hard. JJ averted his gaze. The heaviness in his chest—his guilt—was suffocating. And he knew it. 

Your tears were for him. Because of him. 

You were hurting. Because of him. 

JJ opened his mouth, but not a single sound came out. The man who had been shouting just moments ago had gone completely quiet. 

"Leave..." Your voice was so weak that JJ's heart stuttered. He shook his head instantly, firm in his stance. 

"Not this time." His voice was steady, resolute—just like him. He wasn’t leaving. He wasn’t running away. 

And finally, it happened. Your fists landed against his chest. But it was weak. Like you had no strength left in you. JJ stumbled back a little but held his ground. 

"You had no problem leaving the last two times, so why not go again—" JJ couldn’t even look at your face. Every weak punch against his chest dug into his soul. 

No, it didn’t hurt. It was you who was hitting him. Even if he wanted it to hurt, it wouldn’t. 

"Get out!" The moment you screamed in his face, JJ’s eyes squeezed shut. Somewhere deep inside, maybe he knew he should leave. But he wasn’t going to. 

Even if you wanted him gone, even if you hit him to make him leave, he wouldn’t budge an inch. Not until you gave him a real explanation. 

"I'm not going." He shook his head, your fists still pressing against his chest. 

"You are! You’re going to get the hell out! And— And you’re going to take your stuff with you—" Your punches stopped. You turned away, heading toward the stairs, but JJ moved fast, grabbing your wrists. 

"I don’t want to leave." He spoke while looking straight into your eyes, as if trying to show you how serious he was. But you? You weren’t having it. "I don’t want to do this. So please—please stop trying to push me away." 

You struggled, trying to free your wrists, but JJ held on tight. "You’re selfish! Selfish and a coward! You didn’t even have the guts to apologize! Not even after coming home three nights late! I waited for you! Like an idiot! I waited!" Your voice was shaking. You were crying so hard it was difficult to even talk, to breathe. 

Your eyes were squeezed shut. You weren’t even looking at him. The tears wouldn’t stop. "Why are you doing this to me?" 

"Because I’m jealous!" The words shot out of JJ’s mouth, and suddenly, the only sound left in the house was your ragged sobs. 

Your eyes were still closed. But as your crying began to slow, you slowly opened them. 

"I lost control. The thought of losing you—of leaving Liliana—I lost everything." 

Finally, saying it out loud, JJ felt the weight in his chest ease. Just a little. Even if he still hadn’t admitted why he did it, at least acknowledging the emotions that came with it felt like a small relief. 

But was he brave enough to tell you he loved you? He didn’t know. He could lose both you and Liliana, and he wasn’t the kind of man to gamble with things like that. 

As much as he liked to play games, he would never play with you. 

That would cross a line. 

"So that’s why you fucked the last two weeks of my life… Was it really that hard to just talk to me?" When you looked at him with tear-filled eyes, JJ swore his heart stopped for a second. He could try to change the subject, pretend it wasn’t what it was, but he was so damn tired of running. 

And you? You were tired of this game too. You didn’t have the energy for it anymore. Not when you looked so exhausted standing in front of him. 

"It was hard," he admitted without thinking. Even though a part of him told him to shut up, he didn’t. He didn’t want to keep silent anymore. He didn’t want to keep hurting you. No, he wasn’t brave enough to bring up the wedding night just yet, but he wanted to fix things. 

Even if this was just an excuse, it was the truth. JJ was hiding things, but only because he didn’t want to hurt you more than he already had. 

"I’m jealous. I hate that asshole. I hate that Liliana has to meet with him. The thought of you looking at him the way you used to look at me—it drives me insane. I hate that you might believe him—" 

You shook your head. You tried once more to pull your wrists free. "You never really knew me, did you? Not at all." 

"I didn’t think… I just— I couldn’t do it. Thinking about the two of you—it messes with my head." JJ’s eyes searched yours. He just wanted you to understand. Even if you didn’t forgive him, he just wanted you to understand. 

"Is that why you kissed me?" You sniffled. Until now, you hadn’t even realized how close you were. Barely a breath apart, his hands still wrapped around your wrists, holding them close to his chest. 

"No." JJ blurted it out so fast. Like he wasn’t even thinking. Like the confidence in his voice from earlier had completely vanished. 

"Then why?" 

Your tears had dried up. You were looking deep into his eyes, searching for answers. Even though there were so many things you wanted him to explain, you couldn't erase the feelings he had stirred in you. 

"Because I wanted to." 

"That’s it? You just felt like it in the moment and—" 

Before you could finish, JJ slowly let go of your wrists. He hoped—really hoped—you wouldn’t start hitting his chest again. But he didn’t move an inch from where he stood. 

"It wasn’t just a feeling. I wanted it." 

Your eyes narrowed. It still felt like he was toying with you. Like he’d walk away again—just like he always did. 

"So, what? Do you just kiss people whenever you feel like it?" You wiped the last of your drying tears from your cheeks, keeping your stance firm. 

As much as his excuse didn’t justify the hell he’d put you through for the past week, you wanted to trust that he wouldn’t leave again. You wanted to believe him. 

"No." JJ shook his head, his voice steady. 

Your brows raised slightly. You sniffled. 

"I haven’t kissed anyone in two years. No one but you." 

Saying it out loud wasn’t easy. Maybe your only kiss should have stayed in the past—on your wedding night. Maybe there shouldn’t have been another. 

And yet, here he was, still feeling the ghost of your lips against his. He had come back to apologize, to explain himself—but somehow, he had completely forgotten that the two of you would have to talk about the kiss. 

Of course, you were going to talk about it. 

JJ had kissed you. 

And now, as you stood there in front of him, lips still swollen, he had to force himself to look at anything but your mouth. He focused on you. Only you. 

On this conversation, on every single word you said. 

He wouldn’t interrupt you again. He wouldn’t disrespect you again. 

Today, you were going to talk. 

"How am I supposed to forgive you?" 

The words stung. Because the truth was, JJ didn’t know. 

Not only did he not know how you could forgive him—he didn’t even know how to explain himself. 

What if it had been the other way around? 

If you had done this to him, how would he have forgiven you? What could you have said to make him move past it? 

There was a sharp pain in the center of his chest. Like a knife had been lodged there. 

If falling to his knees and begging for forgiveness would fix this, he would have done it in a heartbeat. 

But he wouldn’t lie to you. 

"I don’t know." His voice was barely above a whisper. He exhaled sharply, head dropping forward. 

"I don’t know either." 

Your voice was hoarse, but you didn’t look away. You kept your eyes on him. Your lips trembled slightly downward. 

"I’ll wait." JJ spoke carefully, watching your reaction. "I’m not leaving, but I’ll wait… If you let me." 

His words wavered, like he was trying to gauge your response even as he spoke them. 

You said nothing. 

That wasn’t the reaction he had expected, and honestly, your silence was worse than anything else you could’ve said. 

Not knowing what to do, he took a step closer. 

He felt helpless—because he was. 

Pope had been right about everything. JJ was so afraid of losing you that he had been the one pushing you away all along. 

He wanted to take back every fight, every argument. He regretted hurting you more than anything, but the anger inside him still hadn’t disappeared. 

Even now, a part of him still burned with jealousy over Rafe. 

But this time, he wasn’t going to let that anger hurt you again. 

Not again. 

Fixing this wasn’t going to be easy. 

JJ took another quick step forward, his movements deliberate. 

This time, he was asking for permission to stay. 

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. 

"If you don’t want me here, I get it. But I can’t—I can’t do this without you. Without Liliana." His voice was almost emotionless, but deep down, he was hoping you’d accept it. Even though he was technically leaving the choice to you, he was desperate for you to say yes. 

He stood still, waiting. 

The occasional sniffle was the only remaining sign of your crying, aside from your red-rimmed eyes. 

JJ replayed your voice in his head, remembering the moment you told him to leave. The longer you stayed silent now, the longer time stretched on. 

It probably hadn’t been that long—maybe just a few seconds. But for JJ, it felt endless. 

Every second you didn’t answer, his heart pounded harder. 

He used to be so sure of you. Before all this, he would’ve known exactly what your response would be. 

But now? Now, he had no clue. 

You weren’t the kind of people who fought like this. Sure, you bickered sometimes, but it never lasted more than a few minutes. And then things would go back to normal. 

This was different. 

This was your first real fight. 

Okay, maybe the third. But since they had all been about the same thing, it felt like the first. 

JJ tried to keep his gaze on you, but you wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

Your lips parted slightly—then closed again. 

He could tell you were struggling to make a decision. 

And that terrified him. 

You could tell him to stay. 

But you could just as easily tell him to leave. 

Finally, you lifted your gaze, sniffling once more before clearing your throat. You took a deep breath. 

It almost felt like you were dragging it out just to make him suffer. And it was working. 

JJ was dying inside waiting for your answer. 

Straightening your posture, you spoke. 

"If you walk out that door one more time… there’s no coming back. You need to know that."

His words were like drinking ice-cold water on a scorching day or stepping into warmth after being out in the cold—refreshing, comforting. It felt like a weight had been lifted off JJ’s shoulders. 

He straightened up quickly, a small smirk tugging at his lips. This was something. You hadn’t outright said you forgave him, but this was still a step forward. Maybe it was even a step toward him. 

JJ found himself nodding almost too eagerly. 

Before you could change your mind or take back your words, he blurted out, "I won’t." The words were rushed, almost tumbling over themselves. 

Unlike him, you simply nodded—slow, measured. You wanted him to know that you heard him, that you understood. Your hands clasped in front of you, your gaze locked onto his. And yet, you still felt like you were processing everything that had just happened. 

Had you decided too quickly? Should you have thought this through more? Was making a decision in the heat of the moment ever the right thing to do? 

Your eyes stayed on him as you swallowed hard. 

You weren’t sure you could forgive him just yet, but if he walked away again… 

You weren’t sure you’d be able to piece yourself back together. 

You didn’t let it show, but you were relieved he had stepped back inside. Because if he had walked out that door one more time, you had no idea how you would’ve mended the wound he had left in you. 

"I want to trust you." 

God, what a ridiculous sentence. Especially to say to someone who had been closer to you than anyone else ever had. Could a person really change their feelings this much in just one week? 

But then again, JJ hadn’t exactly taken anything from you and refused to give it back. 

If he hadn’t hurt you, if your heart wasn’t aching like this, would you have lost your trust in him? 

You hated that sentence. Because the truth was, you had always trusted him more than you trusted yourself. 

Even when you had no idea what to do, he always did. 

He completed you. And you completed him. 

And now, you couldn’t trust him. 

You had actually said those words to him. You were actually going to try to trust him again. It felt like meeting him all over again. 

Like being back on that stupid beach, standing there, heart ready to pour out everything you felt—yet hesitant, nervous. 

Afraid. 

Because you didn’t know how he’d react. Because you couldn’t predict his response. 

Just like that first day. 

And yet, even back then, you had trusted him enough to open up. 

He hadn’t been a stranger, not really. He had known about Liliana from the very beginning, hadn’t he? 

He had figured it out in the pharmacy, and then at the beach, you had told him everything. 

Even back then, you had trusted him. Because deep down, you knew he was someone who would keep your secrets safe. 

Even in those early days, though, he had still managed to break your trust. 

How ironic. 

That you had been able to spill your heart to him on a beach when you barely knew him, and now—after five years of being by his side every single day—you were struggling to believe in him. 

"I swear I won’t break your trust again." 

JJ’s voice was steady, firm. 

He wasn’t just trying to convince you—he was convincing himself. 

When you realized you couldn’t keep looking at him any longer, you dropped your gaze to the floor, shifting your weight slightly. 

You simply nodded. No words. Just a quiet acknowledgment. 

You didn’t need to say anything else. 

JJ was still JJ. 

But your silence rattled him. 

He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair, restless. 

"I know I didn’t handle things right. I know I acted like an idiot, but—" He exhaled sharply. "I’ve never dealt with something like this before. I’ve never felt like I was actually going to lose someone. And if I ever have… it wasn’t you and Liliana." 

As soon as the words left his mouth, he saw your head snap up. 

Instant panic flashed through him. 

Had he said the wrong thing? 

That tiny bit of confidence he had mustered up while speaking vanished in an instant. 

Once again, he was lost in the unknown, unsure of where he stood. 

A hollow smile tugged at your lips, but it wasn’t happiness. 

You almost couldn’t believe him. He was still talking about the same thing. 

Still clinging to whatever story he had told himself, believing in it so fiercely that nothing else could get through. 

"I never told you I loved Rafe," you said, your voice eerily calm. 

"I never said I was going to be with him. I never even mentioned anything even remotely close to something like that. JJ, I came to you about a decision. About Liliana’s future. As her parents, I wanted to discuss it with you." 

You kept your tone composed. There was no need to turn this into another fight. 

Not when JJ had practically waved a white flag. 

Not when he, like you, was finally ready to talk. 

JJ opened and closed his mouth, shifting uncomfortably in place. "I know, but—doesn’t him seeing Liliana mean you’ll have to see him too? You know, back then, years ago… everyone saw the way you two looked at each other—" 

He hadn’t really thought the words through before saying them. 

His eyes had drifted away from you, lost in memories from years ago. 

But you had no patience for this conversation.  Especially not when he was acting like he didn’t even know you. 

You cut him off. 

You weren’t even sure what exactly he believed anymore, but whatever it was, he was holding onto it so tightly that he refused to hear anything else. 

"We, JJ.”

Your voice was firm. 

You pointed between the two of you, emphasizing your words. 

JJ inhaled deeply, eyes following your finger before slowly shifting back up to your face. 

*"If Rafe is seeing Liliana, that means he’s seeing us. As her parents. Not just me, but you too. You’re just as much a part of this as I am."* When you finished speaking, JJ shook his head. You let out a breath. 

Even Liliana understood things faster than he did. She could be a handful, sure—but at least dealing with her wasn’t this exhausting.

He was so obsessed with the whole you-and-Rafe thing that, whether you wanted to or not, your mind kept drifting. He’d admitted he was jealous, sure—but could it really be true? 

And it wasn’t just that. 

You cleared your throat as memories surfaced, one after the other. 

You had kissed. 

Right? Of course. You had kissed. 

Blinking rapidly, you forced the thought away. Impossible. If something were going to happen, it would’ve happened in the past five years. 

“You’re still going to be close to him—” 

His words rattled around in your head, but you refused to focus on them. No way. No way. If it were true, then Rachel, Yasmin, or whatever that other girl’s name was—he wouldn’t have dated them. He just wouldn’t have. 

Right? 

You cut yourself off before the thought could spiral. You were convincing yourself of stupid things. Could something like that really be true? 

You wanted to strangle him. Especially when he acted like he hadn’t been by your side for years. “You want me to trust you, but you don’t trust me. I’m not stupid. I haven’t forgotten anything. It’s all still fresh in my mind—especially with Liliana as a constant reminder. So stop saying that. This isn’t about me and Rafe. This is about Liliana’s future.” 

“I never said I don’t trust you.” JJ shook his head. How could he not trust you? You were the only person in this world he’d put his life in the hands of. 

“I thought we were past this. I thought you were done treating me like an idiot. When I said I was done playing games, I wasn’t bluffing.” 

JJ exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. Sometimes, he really had no idea what to say. Even when he tried to choose his words carefully, they still came out wrong. Like he was screwing everything up, one sentence at a time. 

He nodded, resigned. Of course, you were right. You were always right. He was being an idiot. And all because of these ridiculous feelings that had turned him into one. He could barely even look at you. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I—of course, I trust you. But you don’t get to choose how you feel about someone.” 

You let out a slow breath, taking a step closer to him. You knew exactly what you were doing, but you needed him to believe it too. Because he had already played out this entire scenario in his head, and that wasn’t fair. “I could be with anyone in the world, and it still wouldn’t be Rafe.” 

The second the words left your lips, you regretted them. 

A lie. 

It wasn’t just Rafe—it wasn’t anyone. You weren’t the kind of person who could just casually talk to multiple people. The thought of being with someone you felt nothing for was disgusting. Especially when your mind was already so clearly set on one person. 

JJ didn’t respond. He just… went quiet. 

And for a moment, you wondered if he was asking himself the same thing—was he included in that "anyone"? His mind screamed the question, but he bit it back, refusing to let it slip. 

His silence made you realize that it was finally time to talk about what had started this whole fight in the first place. Even though your argument had pushed it to the back burner, it was still important. “I need to give Rafe an answer. We’re heading back this weekend. As much as I’d love to keep arguing with you, I have to put Liliana first. And I know you will too.” 

You hated that nearly a full week of your two-week break had been wasted. You were supposed to be here for Cleo’s wedding, to enjoy your time off—and yet, all you had left was a mess of frustration and disappointment. 

JJ slowly pulled out a chair and sat down, rubbing his nose absentmindedly. Knowing you were leaving this weekend exhausted him. You had come here to relax, but somehow, he felt even more drained than before. More miserable. That’s how it always was when he wasn’t with you. And the worst part? He had no one to blame but himself. 

“Are you sure this is what you want? I mean… You’re her mom. You understand how she feels better than I do.” 

JJ spoke carefully this time. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. He wasn’t going to let the words slip out—the words that implied he wasn’t her parent. Because he had only said that out of anger. 

JJ was Liliana’s parent too. 

And when he saw the faintest trace of a smile on your lips, even if it was fleeting, he knew you’d caught that. The acknowledgment. That, to him, he wasn’t just some extra figure in Liliana’s life. 

And that tiny, barely-there smile? God, it made him ridiculously happy. 

“She’s not asking questions yet, but one day, she will. When she starts school, she’ll wonder why every other kid calls the man in their life ‘Dad,’ but she calls you JJ. Or Uncle.” 

JJ didn’t hesitate. “If she wants to—she can call me Dad.” 

The words left him before he could even process them, but he meant it. Even with his mind in a million different places, even with Rafe hovering like a storm cloud in the background, he meant it. If Liliana wanted him to be that person, he’d give her the world. If she called him Dad—well, then, he’d have the whole damn universe. 

The thought alone filled his chest with something warm and unshakable. 

Sure, he was happy being Uncle JJ. But… whatever. 

He could’ve sworn he saw the surprise on your face. Your lips parted slightly, but you spoke quickly, like you didn’t want to dwell on it. “Of course she can, but she knows you’re not her father.” You shook your head. 

JJ didn’t take offense. You had both made that decision a long time ago. You had both told her to call him Uncle. This wasn’t just on you—it was on him too. So, no, he didn’t argue. 

You were right. Again. As always. 

“Do you want this?” JJ asked, voice laced with uncertainty. “Liliana meeting Rafe?” 

You hesitated before shrugging. “I don’t know. I guess… I think she deserves better.”

JJ shook his head. He hated the guy. But if he was the right choice for Liliana—shit. He just couldn’t think about this in a positive way. No matter how much he tried to get used to the idea, it wasn’t working. He hated Rafe. Every time he saw his face, he wanted to throw a punch, but—he couldn’t. Not this time. 

“Do you trust Rafe?” 

The moment he asked, his eyes locked onto yours, searching for any hesitation, any sign of uncertainty. 

“For myself? Absolutely not. For Liliana? Yes. No matter how badly things ended between us, this is her right. And besides—I have you. And if you and Rafe had switched places, I would’ve given you a chance to see her too.” 

Your voice was as firm as your stance. No room for negotiation. No hesitation. 

JJ squeezed his eyes shut. 

Every time he saw that man, he was going to have to keep his hands to himself. Because there was a part of him—one that had been waiting for five years—that wanted nothing more than to knock him to the ground. 

With a defeated sigh, he exhaled sharply, opening his eyes again. He could only hope he wouldn’t regret this. “If you really think this is the right thing to do, if you’re sure you won’t regret it—then fine. I approve. Okay.” 

But if Rafe hurt Liliana again, JJ wouldn’t hold back. He’d make damn sure he never came near them again. He wasn’t going to say that to you, though. No need to start another fight. 

“Are you sure?” you asked one last time, curiosity laced in your voice. 

JJ repeated the question in his head. No, he wasn’t sure. Not at all. But he trusted you. 

“Yes. For Liliana.” 

You nodded, visibly surprised. Maybe you had expected another argument. Maybe you thought he’d start yelling. JJ wasn’t sure. What he did know was that you clearly hadn’t expected him to actually agree. Well, neither had he. 

“Do you want me to text him, or—do you want to call him yourself? I don’t know how things ended when you ran into him at the beach but—” 

JJ stood up, looking at you. He rubbed his eyes because, for some damn reason, they kept wandering to your lips. And that was getting frustrating. And—he was grateful you hadn’t dragged out the whole kissing thing. Because he could come up with an excuse for almost anything, but that? That, he couldn’t explain away. 

“Text him,” he said. “But when he meets Liliana, I want to be there too.” 

Your eyes widened. Even your reaction gave him some relief. 

“Of course, we’ll both be there.” 

JJ smiled. He had missed this—talking to you like this. He couldn’t exactly say you’d waved a white flag, but just being near you again was something he’d missed. Even the faint trace of your perfume in the air. 

“Okay. And can we talk later? I—” He hesitated. “I really missed you.” 

Watching you was his favorite thing to do. It always had been. 

“I’m still mad. But we’ll talk.” 

JJ nodded quickly, agreeing without hesitation. 

As long as it meant you’d let him stay.

[daskolas]

Rahu and Ketu in houses

Rahu (north node) and Ketu (south node) are always in opposition. Whatever house they are in, they bring emptiness into it.

Rahu in 1st house/Ketu in 7th house

This position gives individuals a lot of wisdom. Here, the person is very clever and mysterious.

Native's priority is to earn fame, being people's first choice and to be successful. They try to achieve these things by hook or crook.

Native's focus is on themselves, their independence, to learn new years and to identify their purpose.

These people also get mature really young because of the hardships they had to face.

People with this placement usually have dental problems and may even some sort of chronic illness.

This placement makes a person different from others in a positive manner

This placement can manifest lots of loneliness in native's life but it also grants them the ability to explore their self

future spouse can be indecisive but they will give good advices

Individuals can face some problems in their married life IF they won't be able to have proper amount of freedom.

Many of people with this placement like to live in dark or may prefer slow songs.

Rahu in 2nd house/ Ketu in 8th house

people with this placement have a harsh tone

native with Rahu in 2nd house, try to earn money even if it is not in a conventional way. This placement makes people extremely materialistic.

they are also prone to addiction so try to stay away from things like smoking

Your life partner can be rich and you can inherit property from your in-laws.

they like to research about different things. Trying to get to know which isn't noticeable

They also live too much inside their head

This placement also grants you good intuition and someone who is a risk-taker especially when it comes to earning money

you will also face fast changes in your life whether it is of health or career

people with this placement have high will and also are very concentrated individuals

ADVICE: changes whether negative or positive are fine. They are extremely common. Even if you facing loss right now then you may earn profit tomorrow. Try to be good and faithful to yourself.

Rahu in 3rd house/Ketu in 9th house

The person is hardworking.

They also face issues related to throat.

This placement indicates a cooperative personality so these people are prone to help someone who doesn't want to improve themselves. "I can fix them" personality.

Natives with this placement will not get support from their younger siblings if they have

Things will get delayed in life such as marriage, having children, or even career.

this placement makes a person religious and someone who respects their teachers

Even though life can get difficult but people with this placement know how to handle whatever gets thrown their way.

People with this placement know a lot of things. In fact some people may even consider them "know-it-all".

They are also good with hands so might be a good artist or do calligraphy or might have beautiful hands

You can know how to express yourself really well

Rahu in 4th house/ Ketu in 10th house

A person with placement is very courageous.

Mother plays an important role in a person's whether it is because she influenced natives a lot or because she had no influence.

people with this placement have a hard time feeling satisfied.

People with this placement face many financial issues or there were many distractions due to which they were not able to complete their studies on time.

This placement indicates that the person can live abroad.

They are also constantly moving so living far away from their birthplace or even marrying someone with different background.

you might also have an obsession with having a fixed asset like having a house, car, land etc.

Have difficulty concentrating.

you might feel like you are not welcome anywhere but mainly have a hard time feeling like you belong somewhere.

lack patience, and want things fast.

Rahu in 5th house/ Ketu in 11th house

This placement is considered very neutral as Rahu is sitting in a triangular house so there will be positive sides as well.

This placement gives a lack of happiness and benefits either from the father or children. Some people can even have difficulties with having children.

You will also not have a good relationship with your elder brother if you have any.

This placement makes a person extremely social and someone who knows how to communicate.

natives here are very good with hands. So you may have skills such as art and craft, sculpting or even some healing techniques like reiki.

person's focus here is to learn new things. They are extremely curious and are also invested in creative aspects.

this placement also makes natives intelligent so they do very well in school and are also good at additional aspects.

You will also be able to do good or achieve success in the entertainment industry so maybe an actor, singer, dancer, etc.

You may get some problems with your undergraduate degree like maybe you took a break.

This placement also makes the native mischievous or someone very active or restless.

Rahu in 6th house/ Ketu in 12th house

people with this placement are believed to be old souls.

when a person becomes old, they become extremely religious and someone who does a lot of charity.

this placement is considered good as people always stand up for themselves and are not easily repressed.

However, you will often feel that you are not surrounded by people who want the best for you. It may or may not be true.

A person's focus is on health, self-improvement, and having rules for themselves, and is also on how to develop good habits to be the best version of oneself.

they are also mature and know what to do in any situation. They also have an idea of the world.

they have contact with foreign companies or you will form connections with people from foreign countries.

you will also fall ill easily. During Rahu/Ketu Mahadasha you will also not be able to get diagnosed properly.

you will get success only by doing a lot of hard work.

You will also not face any mishappening or something happening unexpectedly.

Rahu in 7th house/ Ketu in 1st house

You can have problems in your married life. This can be especially due to misunderstanding or you may have different personality from your future partner.

You can marry someone from a different culture or after getting married, you will become extremely focused on your growth and self-improvement.

This placement makes the native yearn romantic relationships when they are young. However, when they get older they start focusing on themselves.

If Rahu is not afflicted, then you will come only in serious relationships.

This placement makes the person indecisive or someone who sometimes face difficulty in understanding what is going on because of lack of mental presence but you will be very smart.

You will also be kind or someone who likes to help people but at the end of the day, you would want to be in touch with yourself.

You will also have natural talent for astrology and tarots. You will be deeply interested in spiritual aspect.

this placement makes person very successful and creative. They will also be surrounded by many people.

You will also easily able to tell what others are feeling and would help them a lot.

You will also want to be with yourself especially when you get older, you will try to understand deeper aspects of life.

Rahu in 8th house/ Ketu in 2nd house

People with this placement tend to be mysterious and secretive. Even if you tell things about yourself, people around you can feel like they don't know you much.

You can have problem with your voice. Like have a cough or people misunderstand you a lot or you may have badmouth.

You may also talk without thinking so think twice before saying anything to anyone especially when you are angry.

this placement makes someone who spends a lot of money. So saving money can be a problem. If that is not the scenario then there can be fluctuations in finances.

This placement also makes the person money-minded so natives can think about how to generate money a lot.

You may also have some unexplained fears like you may become fearful of many things even if you haven't had a bad experience with them.

People with this placement tend to be scared of animals when they are young but when they get older, they start to love them.

You will be understanding and calm a lot but are also prone to extreme outbursts or some heavy emotional experience.

This placement also makes the person good astrologer or you will definitely study astrology.

You will also research about many things. Or you will like learning about many things.

Rahu in 9th house/ Ketu in 3rd house

this placement indicates the person will settle in a foreign. And they will also be able to achieve most success when they are working abroad.

this placement also makes the natives travel a lot. However, you will start feeling dissatisfied and can feel that traveling brings you a lot of problems.

you can have a problem with your sibling. like a strained relationship even though you love them a lot and overprotectiveness.

You will also study a lot. You may even be inclined to get a PhD.

You will people a lot. So you may donate a lot or even start an NGO to help needy people.

You can also have a hard time saying No especially in financial matters so you may give money to whoever asked you but would never be able to ask them back.

You will also care a lot about nature. This placement makes the person ecocentric.

you will also tend to share your knowledge with people as soon as you learn about them.

You will also love taboo things. You can also start connecting with the higher self. Many people with this placement tend to be agnostic.

You may face delays in your life in some places so you can do certain things like live in a foreign country, try to do meditation and become more in tune with yourself or do not talk to people who are not treating you well. Learn to cut off people.

Rahu in 10th house/ Ketu in 4th house

The person is very clever.

Career will be progressing from short scale to big scale. Long-term growth.

They can also feel very stressed due to work only. The focus is on career.

Might not receive support from parents.

A person will be highly influenced by their father but can have a negative relationship with him.

This placement is an indicator of moving abroad.

people with this placement want to be in leadership positions and have a need to be powerful. Kind of like having it all.

natives with Rahu in 10th house do well in career where you can help people or where you can influence them.

people with this placement can gain benefits from the government whether it is in terms of job or anything.

you will constantly shift between wanting to be more spiritual or wanting to have money and power.

Rahu in 11th house/ Ketu in 5th house

people with this placement can feel unlucky at times. For example, if someone wants to start a business then suddenly you start having financial issues.

relationships will not be successful.

Person's entire focus is on completing their desire like being financially strong or having materialistic growth.

relationships with elder siblings will not be good.

People with this placement should start with a job as doing their business at the start can take a lot of time. So start with a job first then move towards business.

Person is very helpful and cooperative.

they also take care of their parents.

people with this placement gain lots of spiritual and philosophical knowledge from their parents.

you will be able to get more success working with people from foreign country or settling abroad.

people with this placement do not feel satisfied easily. Always wanting to achieve more and more.

Rahu in 12th house/ Ketu in 6th house

This placement is considered very good as this makes a person very successful.

This placement is the indicator for settling in a foreign country or working with people from a foreign country.

person has a desire to live alone or live a highly spiritual life.

Even though they desire to live a detached life, but at a young age they will live a fast-paced life but as they become old, they will live the life that they desire.

Person might also not care too much about their health or even daily life issues.

This placement gives people lots of difficulties but it also grants them the ability to overcome them.

They also spend a lot of money on things that they do not need or require.

you can have psychic dreams or dreams which are extremely imaginative which you might find weird.

You might not be close to your mother or there is some distance between you and your family members.

During Ketu Mahadasha, you might fall ill and not be able to be diagnosed properly.

[tevanbuckley]

some low points from the ry*an g*zman interview because i need you all to feel my pain.

when talking about his celibacy (yes he uses that word): "I haven't entertained any interactions with any other females" — gave me the ick 0/10

uses the phrase "a woman's touch," to explain why women are inherently good at interior decorating(?) and that this skill is how women are able to enrich a successful man's life — side note: at no point do they talk about how men enrich women’s lives.

immediately after this the religious imagery takes a left turn and exits my frame of reference, bc instead of just asking "do you think you still have things to work on?" like a normal person, the host says "I want to know what one Thorn is in your flesh." — someone raised more religious than i was needs to chime in on if this is normal christian doctrine or a sign he might be in a cult. (is it a reference to the thorns in jesus' crown?)

ryan makes a weird comment about how "you've seen civilizations built on [a man in love]" — genuinely idk what the fuck this means — but it leads into a tangent about like, men as providers and how "I would do anything for my women."

"peace is key yeah we got enough problems in the world outside the house and so long as I come back to the house and I get peace," — maybe i'm being pedantic but the way he keeps framing woman as belonging in the home is 🚩🚩🚩🚩

"for the next woman I would have in my life I can see that they navigate their their problems and still offer peace to their men." — again 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

surprisingly claims he has been to therapy, which assuming is true, idk it worked.

the host: "women may be fighting internal battles you know kind of themselves do you believe that a woman still fighting those battles are able to still bring peace" — because remember ladies, no matter what you're going through your job is to bring peace to your man's home.

there's some more brief gender essentialist bs where ryan talks about how men "like to fix things," but are bad listeners, and how "problems within women are so specific to women that I wouldn't even try and and say that I have a grasp on them."

then the host randomly asks him if he thinks men need to be financially stable before entering a relationship or if dating a broke guy is a way to "present loyalty."

weirdly ryan actually kind of dodges this question, but ends up suggesting social media is a good place to get "great examples of what does and what doesn't seem to work." in relationships — and no. no it isn't.

oh and then he starts talking about conor mcgregor for some reason? and how it's bad he disrespected his wife by stepping outside their marriage — and i mean sure, although infidelity feels second to the rape accusations??

says it's harder for a woman to come into a man's life when he's already established because "now the man has proven to himself that he never needed a woman." — which, interesting given how later he talks about how women need to stop trying to do the independent woman thing.

he also gets weirdly possessive over his daughter at one point. does the classic "God forbid I find out that man disrespects my little baby." — idk, on the surface he talks about how he wants her to know her value, but it seems like he has a pretty limited view of what that value is.

the host drops lore about how she moved out of her parents house at 14/15 and how she had to "stop thinking like a woman and start thinking also like a man," but stay feminine and "know what a man wants and how to cater to that but also still be soft." — i mean good lord, i don't even know where to start 🤢.

this btw is the preamble to ryan's rant about "independent women."

and god the more i read the more i am deeply concerned about the woman hosting (i saw someone earlier say she's 21). this woman is barely an adult and has so much internalised misogyny, talking about how "us women don't know how to direct our emotions." and "in today's generation a lot of men are deprived of even the small things because a lot of women are takers."

this whole interview is utterly bizarre and i feel like it's taken years off my life. like i said earlier, this isn't a normal podcast he got weird on, this is straight up christian propaganda

[lasirenatarot]

What you need to hear right now.

/general messages, timeless/

🌟PAC READING🌟

Pick a perfume:

NOTE: some messages are quite specific, but might help someone who needs to hear them❤️ so keep that in mind, not everything will resonate for all, it is a general reading after all.

Pile 1:

Poison girl.

Cards that fell; 3 of pentacles, ace of pentacles, 4 of wands reversed. Gift, pleasure seekers cards from an oracle deck.

- I think you might loose a sum of money or you recently have lost some, another case may be that your financial situation might have not been the best recently and you kind of felt helpless? (Idk why im getting that). However, your financial situation has a huge potential for improvement as you may get a present (either an item or a sum of money from someone) which may ease your financial worries. This present may even help you enjoy your life more as you will not have the « weight » of worrying about the near future and how you’re gonna make ends meet.

- Another possible scenario instead of getting a gift may be getting a higher salary than anticipated which can help you make up for the recent times of struggle.

- be focused on whatever you are working on ( studies, job, sports etc.. ) DO NOT loose your focus, this may make you miss a big opportunity if you are not consistent. AND the opposite: if you continue on working, being consistent and putting in the effort you may receive better things/opportunities than you have even imagined. It all depends on you.

- for those who have recently met or have started having hopes of starting a relationship with a romantic interest: this person may not have the intetions of being in a serious relationship with you at this point of time. Be careful and seek your OWN best interest, not theirs.

Pile 2:

Baccarat rouge.

Cards: 10wands, 8wands, 5 wands reversed, judgement reversed.

- Sadly for this pile we are starting a bit negatively; you may have recently experienced a burnout or you are quite overworked due to having too much different stuff to do and take care of. What you need to know at this moment is that not everything is your responsibility: people’s actions, their poor life choices or how they live their life. You might be a person who (not exactly likes, but more of feels the need to help others at the expense of your own mental well being/emotions/mood even. You may simply just be used of being the “problem solver” & emotional trashbin for others) likes helping others, always be there for them and listen when they have struggles, but what you may not see is that by always being there for others u may create in them what I’ve read psychologists call “learned incompetence”. Basically by doing a task for someone (that was not yours to begin with) and letting them vent nonstop u’ve made them incompetent to deal with their own issues bc they may think you will always be there to fix it for them. Main message for this pile; prioritise yourself even if this means cutting ppl off because they drain you emotionally, not every person deserves explanation for how you decide to react to their behavior. Don’t be part of confrontations.

Extra message: beware of people who try to play “saints” in your life, such who have victim complex and always have a problem with everyone.

Everyone gets what they deserve in the end.

- After a tough emotional period your situation may quickly turn to positive and joyful. You may meet new friends.

Good luck🙏🏻

Pile 3:

Lost cherry.

- Very soon you might receive news you’ve been waiting for a long time. May be in a form of email/letter or a friend telling you. You may have felt like you’ve “lost yourself” a bit recently and after receiving these news you will definitely feel more at peace. Some may have been thru a breakup recently, you may finally start feeling better and more like yourself.

- you may meet a potential love interest soon or if you already have someone concrete in mind you communicate with (don’t be delulu having random crushes) you may actually begin a romantic relationship with them ( the energy I get is quite positive).

- you may need to follow “tradition” or already tried methods or consulting with a wise person if you need help with someting. (Or simply a tip)

Pile 4:

Hypnotic poison.

- You may reunite with an old friend soon. (Im particularly getting one you may know from school, but may not applicable for all)

- You may end or will end soon a chapter of your life in order to make space for better things to come.

- You may find understanding/help from someone you have not expected, while at the same time be dissapointed of someone you had trust in and expected to be there for you.

- No matter the circumstances try not to be too cocky and egoistical. You may currently be very motivated for success and have recently gained a lot of confidence due to something in your life. Keep yourself grounded and do not forget where you come from.

That was all from today’s PAC. I apologise for not including the name of the cards which fell for all the piles but I accidentally put them back in the deck and forgot to write them lol..Hope you enjoyed it tho!!

Photos are from pinterest; all credits to their respective owners.

Leave a comment/feedback if it resonated, share and follow for more.

- La Sirena💋

[girlkisser13]

being married to toji fushiguro would include

• toji is fiercely protective of you, even if he doesn’t always express it. he doesn’t hover or ask if you’re okay every five minutes, but he notices when something’s off and is always there to back you up.

• he doesn’t say "i love you" often, but his actions speak louder than words— shielding you from harm or making sure you’re always safe, especially when the dangers of his life as a former assassin creep in. still, he’d maintain his space, valuing his independence but always watching out for you.

• he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t put up with nonsense, so when it comes to household matters, he’s straightforward.

• if there’s a problem, he deals with it quickly, often in a practical manner. that said, he’d also likely appreciate the quiet comfort of being at home with you, especially after a long day of dealing with the outside world.

• while toji doesn’t come across as soft, there are moments when he shows his care in small ways— maybe brushing your hair out of your face or sharing a fleeting but tender look when you’re alone.

• he’s not one for big romantic gestures, but when he does something for you, it’s meaningful, like getting you your favorite drink or taking care of things when you’re overwhelmed.

• he may not always have a lot to say, but if you’re going through something difficult, toji is there for you. he’d stay silent, listening without judgment, and give you a quiet, reassuring presence.

• his support might not be verbal, but his actions would show that he’s there for the long haul, no matter what.

• if you two had kids, toji would be a hands-on (we are ignoring the fact that he is canonically an absent father), though unconventional, father.

• he’ll play it cool, acting like he’s not that interested, but you’ll catch him watching baby videos on his phone when he thinks you’re not looking.

• he’d teach them about survival, how to fight, and how to protect what’s theirs, all while being the solid, reliable figure they need, even if he doesn’t know how to express it all the time.

• toji’s not great with emotions, but he’ll secretly adore his kids, and you’ll know it by the way he keeps an eye on them from a distance or his subtle ways of making sure they have what they need, even when he won’t say it out loud.

• the trust between you two would be solid. toji would expect you to be honest with him, and he’d give you the same respect. you wouldn’t need to speak all the time to understand each other; there’d be a deep, unspoken connection, even in the moments of silence.

• don’t expect anything overly sweet or cheesy. toji’s idea of romance might involve getting you something practical, like new clothes for a dangerous mission or fixing something around the house.

• but those small acts of care would mean more to you than any grand gesture.

• life with toji is a rollercoaster of questionable financial choices.

• his idea of a budget is more of a vague suggestion. you could go to bed with a full savings account, and by morning, he’s bought a motorcycle, a new set of knives (because he deserves them), and a ridiculously expensive set of rare steaks— because, apparently, that’s how you live life.

• he will ALWAYS justify impulse buys with, "it was on sale."

• toji is very independent, and while he might not ask for help, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t need it. if something breaks or goes wrong around the house, he’ll absolutely try to fix it himself first— no matter how unqualified he is for the job.

• broken sink? he’ll attempt to fix it with duct tape and some questionable youtube tutorials. the worst part? he’s usually successful… in a very "that’ll work for now" way.

• he doesn’t exactly plan grand romantic gestures, but when he does do something sweet, it’s always unexpected.

• like that time he brought home your favorite food when you didn’t ask for it, or when you were having a rough day, and he somehow found the exact book you were looking for, even though you didn’t mention it. it’s not always flashy, but it’s the little things that show he’s paying attention.

• also, this man is WAYY too confident.

• he’s usually pretty calm, but when he’s certain about something— whether it’s a decision, a plan, or a random idea— good luck trying to change his mind.

• he’ll insist he’s right, even if he’s 99% sure he’s not, and he’ll have a smug look on his face while doing it. it’s an annoying habit, but somehow, he pulls it off.

• toji’s idea of date night involves grabbing takeout and binge-watching random action movies, preferably while he’s armed with snacks he’s "borrowed" from the convenience store.

• he’s surprisingly a pretty good cook (when he takes his time).

• it’s usually something straightforward— steak, grilled chicken, or ramen— but when he actually tries, it’s surprisingly tasty. the best part? he’ll act like it’s no big deal, even though you know he’s secretly proud of himself for not burning anything.

• toji is your scary dog privilege.

• he exudes an aura of danger, which makes you feel untouchable. not that he tries to look intimidating, but it’s hard not to notice when people start treating you both with a certain amount of caution just because he’s around.

• whether it’s the way he moves, the way he talks, or just the fact that people know better than to cross him, you’ll get used to the unspoken respect (or fear) that follows him.

• he’s not the type to smother you with affection, but he has his ways of showing he cares. whether it’s leaving a random "you good?" text, adjusting your coat when he notices you’re cold, or letting you take the last slice of pizza (even though he’s definitely eyeing it).

• while toji is pretty sharp when it comes to violence or strategy, he’s totally lost when it comes to social situations or subtle hints.

• you’ll find yourself frequently having to explain things multiple times because he either didn’t catch your tone or completely misinterpreted the situation.

• if you try to drop hints, he’ll stare at you blankly, and then you’ll have to go into full detail before he understands what you’re saying. it’s frustrating, but also kind of endearing, considering how smart he is in other areas.

• although he’ll never openly say it, in those quiet moments when he watches you sleep or shares a rare smile, you know you’re his soft spot. toji fushiguro has made you his world, and his devotion to you speaks louder than words ever could. <33

[captain-huggy-bear]

Just a thought...

Quinn is a partner who wants, needs, to be able to meet your needs. It feels like a personal failure to him if he cannot do this or if something outside of his control effects you negatively.

It's a massive weight he puts on himself, uncessarily because your state of being is not entirely dependent on him and his actions. You try to remind him that it's actually unhealthy to think he is in that much control of your entire wellbeing. So it's difficult because any slight issue he wants to fix and some things just can't be fixed by him. You're fighting with a family member? Maybe this has been an issue your entire life and he wants to fix it, hates how it upsets you, but all he can do is help you enforce boundaries. You have a bad mental health day? He feels like he could have done more, even as he's making sure you shower and brush your teeth.

It's both a lovely thing and a problem because on one hand he will make sure you are financially, physically, mentally and emotionally safe around him and as far as he possibly can whether that's him paying the rent and all the bills or him putting himself between you and the road when you're walking down the street. But, on the other hand when things aren't perfect, when your needs or wants aren't being completely met, through no fault of his, he takes that as a personal failing.

I can see him beating himself up whenever he misses something important because of a game, despite the fact that it's his job, despite the fact you signed up for this and were, not happy, but okay with the reality. I can see him being really torn between his own life and his relationship.

That being said I think there are particular important moments that he simply would refuse to go to games for/during. You're in labour? You've just had a baby? He's not going on the road trip or playing the game, he'll dig his heels in on that one, he's at least around for the first few days if not the first week. You're having a major surgery and need support? He's staying. He might miss that work do, that work event, that family dinner, but I think he'd really pick you over hockey when it comes to those massive moments where you need his support and where any normal guy would be present.

The level that Quinn gives himself over to hockey, is the level he gives to his relationship too. He gives his all until there's literally nothing left and even then he's still trying to crawl to the finish line. If he's in, he's all in.

[loveemagicpeace]

🎸🏠🏝️Life Events 🧜🏼‍♀️🍓🌙

🎨You Identity🎨

Your rising sign shows how u respond to the world and how u see yourself. It shows how other people see you when they first get to know you. Having Gemini rising means that you can quickly create contacts and can quickly communicate with others. Having Scorpio rising means that you have very intense way of how you see others around you. U feel things very deeply. And you can be very secretive.

Planets in your 1st house they symbolize the influence on your personality. And they are also visible to others and sometimes others notice them more than you yourself. If you have Venus in your 1st house you might come across as charming. And your value can be very much in the spotlight. You can also embody a lot of feminine energy. With Mars in your 1st house you can come forward sharper, quick-tempered and brave. You can give off a lot of masculine energy.

If you have aspects with you ascendant those can strongly colour your identity and how you feel the world out there responds to you.

🌇Change🌇

Certain signs respond to change more favourably than others. In particular, the signs of Taurus, Cancer, and Scorpio are conscious of security in one form or another, and will tend to hold on rather than let things flow. If you have personal planets here, the devil you know might feel more reassuring than a change of scene. By contrast, Aries or Gemini welcomes periodic change.

The cardinal signs- Aries tends to deal best with change, having all the fiery impetus of being the first sign. Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn possess the cardinal capacity to get on with things, but the cardinal signs prefer to be in control. For a person with personal planets in cardinal signs, change tends to be welcome only if it has been self-initiated.

The fixed signs -Lots of fixity in a chart suggests a tendency to stay with what you know, come hell or high water. The instinct of the fixed signs is to stabilize - the winds of change might blow around, but the person remains anchored.

The mutable signs -These usually respond positively when change is in the air. If you have personal planets in these signs, you probably hate for things to be static and will spontaneously generate movement in order to reassure yourself that there is always an alternative - even if this is just to move the furniture around from time to time or choose a different place to go on holiday.

🎑9th house- believing in what you can't see🎑

Planets in the 9th house give clues as to how you might feel about encountering the unknown. Whenever we are faced with making future plans, setting off on a long journey, or having to hold a vision of something yet to unfold, our 9th house is conjured. So whatever planets you have here, and the sign on the cusp, will mediate this for you.

With Saturn for instance, trust in these things might not flow naturally. You can have a lot of problems with really believing in something. With Uranus, you might actively seek the thrill of the strange and the unfamiliar. With Sun you may find your happy place somewhere across the sea. You can get married in another country and a lot of joy comes into your life through travel. You are very open in life with things that brings you joy. With Mercury you may find very inspiring going for a short trips every now and then. You can study in another country and are very good with languages.

🫀Troubled times🫀

In the 8th house we can find clues here as to how we react when the pressure is on. More accurately perhaps, it describes a journey into dark places, whether this is the maestrom of a divorce, financial crisis, or experiences of grief and bereavement.

The 8th house is the dragon's lair and any planets here are forged in the heat of that encounter. Even with no planets here, you can look to the sign on the cup of this house, and the planetary ruler of that sign, to tell you how you approach life's more extreme experiences and some of the key resources you might call on when things fall apart.

If you have Mercury in the 8th house then it might be an advantage to have a guide in the underworld - a counsellor or therapist, friends with good listening skills or knowledge of the terntory, or even just keeping a diary or personal record as a way of sorting through and understanding emotional experiences. If you have Venus in 8th house you can be very cautious in love and at the same time you can experience a lot of transformation through other people.

Or with Capricorn on the cusp of the 8th, you no doubt have a stoic approach to hard times, with the ability to lay aside your own feelings if someone else really needs your help. The position of your 8th house ruler Saturn in your chart gives clues as to how you can flex this stoicism even further, helping you to stabilize and feel rooted and secure.

💘Emotions💕

The Moon is the barometer of your inner feelings and describes gut reaction and also what you need in order to feel nurtured and safe. Anxiety arises when the Moon is under pressure. If you have the Moon in Scorpio for example, your instinct might be to cope with trouble alone, shutting yourself off so that you can draw deeply from your own resources. Or with Moon in Libra, you can nurture yourself by trying to create harmony and balance, even if this is just for one precious hour each week in a yoga class. The more difficult life gets, the more we need to pay attention to the Moon's promptings, through its particular realms of food, rest, and self-care.

The Sun -keeping our eyes on the prize can be a good way of seeing ourselves through troubled times. There has been the idea that a human life unfolds, that we begin as a seed containing its own purpose, and that the trials and tribulations we encounter along the way are in fact an integral part of the journey. The Sun in particular in the central light in your chart, whatever you are in the process of becoming.

Venus square to Saturn suggests that the desire nature has somehow not been given room to grow, which in relationships might emerge as barriers to intimacy or believing that one is unlovable. Or Neptune opposite the Sun might reflect a sense of loss in connection to father and therefore a longing for the masculine power which the Sun represents. These kinds of deeper dynamics can become crystallized as entrenched beliefs we have about ourselves, about other people, or about life itself. Self-awareness helps to release us from these

Home

The 4th house describes both your home of origin and the one you have created (or will create) for yourself. It is both the bricks and mortar and the atmosphere and dynamic that binds the family unit. This is also the tap root down into your history: your genealogy and family tree. Whatever planets reside here, and planets conjunct to the IC (the cusp of the 4th) will form your foundations

The MC and 10th house lie opposite the 4th house and between them they denote the idea of parents - mother traditionally in the 10th and father traditionally in the 4th, but we might take the view that whichever parent provided 4th house things (security, lineage, surname) belongs in the 4th, and whichever parent provided 10th house things (socialization, authority, plans for the future) belongs in the 10th, which for most of us is likely to be both parents. Just as the 4th describes the kind of home we create for ourselves, so the 10th will describe what kind of parent you might become, taking control and responsibility.

Home

Taurus in 4th house- you like a stable, comfortable home and perhaps a life somewhere close to nature and somewhere that is peaceful and relaxing. You are usually used to a stable life and can live a more luxurious life. You have to feel the home to live in it. A home can contain lots of greenery, a garden, a balcony, and a home where you feel safe. You may also enjoy filling your space with art, flowers, and elegant decorative pieces.

Aries in 4th house- Your home may be very busy, you may move a lot and changing homes may be quite frequent. You are used to living a lively, chaotic life. Your home can be very fiery and full of life. Your home might reflect your active personality with bright colors, bold designs, or minimalistic yet functional decor. Your home can be a place for action, self-expression, and renewal— a space where you regroup and prepare for your next adventure

Pisces in 4th house-Your home may have a soft, calming, and almost magical atmosphere. You may feel drawn to incorporating water elements into your home, such as aquariums, fountains, or artwork featuring oceans, lakes, or rivers. Alternatively, you might enjoy secluded spots even within bustling cities.

Capricorn in 4th house-your home is more than just a physical space—it's a foundation for stability and achievement. You may strive to build a secure and structured home environment, emphasizing discipline and tradition. Your home may have a classic, understated style.

-Rebekah🧜🏼‍♀️💕🎨

[kaibutsushidousha]

Kodaka April Fools tweets 2024

Lying just because it's April Fools' is so dull. Honestly painful to watch. Lying in general doesn't do you any good. In my younger days, I told every lie I could, saying some genuinely insane stuff about being a supreme leader of evil and whatnot, and thanks to that, now that I'm in my thirties, I got famous for all the wrong reasons and can't find a stable job because people think I'm associated with the yakuza... Sigh, I wanna deck my cringe younger self's face. Quit lying for fun while you can.

My classmates aren't doing great either. Thinking you're hot shit during your school days always comes back to bite you... My advice to my past self: slow and steady effort is worth more than any talent. Also, the part of life you spent larping with that silly horse laugh is not going to be one you'll want to remember later. I wish I could make that clear to him. White lies aren't a thing. Talent is never enough. My class is proof of that. Wanna know what my classmates are like now that we're in our thirties?

Akamatsu became a piano teacher. Her player skills capped off in her teens, it seems. But she's not that good at teaching so she's considered kinda mid at her job. And now she's struggling with the father of a student incessantly hitting on her. Tough world to live in.

Toujou opened a housekeeping company but she was too strict with her employees so everyone quit. And now she's doing everything on her own. Sucks to be in your thirties without any successors or employees. She's a prime example of how being so much better than anyone else doesn't do you any good. Well, she's always working for celebrities, so she's doing well financially, but I heard about some major court fight about a missing item under suspicion of theft from one of her clients. That can't be nice.

Yumeno got to her thirties still saying magic is real, so she's past the point of no return. She agrees that's an unhinged way to live, but she's too old to suddenly change gimmicks. Work takes her all over the country, but her gimmick doesn't allow her to publicly drink, so she has to get plastered alone in her hotel room after shows. I wish she could fix her life with real magic.

Harukawa? ...Haven't heard that name in a long time. Now she was a living edgy fantasy. The past tense was because I hadn't heard of her in a long time. I don't know the details, but apparently, she went to some war zone outside of Japan because her first love didn't want to date her. Takes some real edgelord to react to a broken heart like that, but if she's still alive, I have no idea how her thirties are treating her. My personal guess is that she's a mother of many.

Chabashira opened her Aikido school but is having a hard time attracting students. So she had the idea of starting an anti-sexual-harassment campaign that could double as advertisement, but thanks to her cluelessness when it comes to romance, she got canceled for mistakenly tossing men in regular couples. She's still doing the "degenerate males" bit in her thirties. Girl really needs to get on with the times. Rumor goes that she still downs huge packs of tequila bottles with Yumeno every now and then. Really don't think there's any salvaging her reputation.

Shirogane is an office lady still continuing her cosplay hobby on the side. She could be doing well if she knew how to keep her mouth shut but frequently rambles about cosplay history and etiquette, so no one likes having her around. Stay emotionally dependent on a single hobby long enough and your passion starts to close you off to others. That's her problem.

Angie was the most successful in the class! She made big money both on the art and the religion fronts. However, there were some controversies about her devotees selling counterfeits of her paintings at exorbitant prices and one magazine made a huge news coverage of it, which resulted in her catching the police's attention. She's been recently untraceable, with the rumors saying that she'll never be back to Japan.

Oh, and Iruma... Up until some point, she had the best life of all of us. She made big money off of her inventions' patents. So far so good. Things only started going off-rails after she married an ex-stripper. The two started a YouTube channel together. And later, her husband ran in last year's elections and lost big time. They got an awful debt from his election campaign and she had to get into side jobs to pay it off. And her husband? Disappeared. No word from Iruma herself about what happened. Tough world to live in.

No further updates from Kodaka in the past 3 hours, so I assume he went to sleep and will come back to tweet about the 7 remaining boys in the morning.

[kissitbttr]

insecure toji :(

—

toji is great at hiding his insecurities. best at it, even.

to be a man you are not allowed to showcase any emotion nor shed a tear in front of anyone. it would bring such great dishonor to family, especially to zenin.

that’s how he was raised by his father. he’s got the marks and bruises to prove it, hasn’t he?

but one thing that toji is very much insecure about is he knows how financially unstable he is.

by any means, he’s not poor. yet, he’s not enough either. and it’s never become a problem for him until he has you.

a beautiful woman whom he had met exactly a year ago at a dingy bar when he had just gotten off from his late shift,

he remembers vividly how you looked that night. sophisticated and gorgeous. a dress that fits your body too well and a voice that could make any man weak at their knees.

it was obvious you had eyes on you as a conversation was shared between you and a few friends, yet you paid no mind at first.

but you took that chance anyway and looked to your right, a small chuckle heaved from you as the man quickly averted his gaze down to his lap with a small blush upon his cheeks. embarrassed that he got caught.

“you came alone?” you asked, resting your chin upon your open palm with a small head tilt,

“y-yeah” he laughs, nodding at you. “just got off from a shift, figured a drink would be nice”

you hum, smiling at the handsome man few feet from you. “graveyard shift?” a little tease won’t hurt,

“something like that” he laughs again and you might be biased because he has the most cutest one you’ve ever heard, “all that and still not enough to treat myself somewhere nice”

a joke but you see how much pain he hides when he says that,

“eh—as long as you’re still alive, there are lots of things that needs to be grateful for” you shrug as you answer. “are you grateful, sir?””

never in his life has he ever heard someone asked him that question,

“very much so, ma’am” he nods yet again, lips stretching into a smile and you catch a glimpse of his thin scar adorning his lips. “or at least i try to be”

you listen well to what he has to say. “try” you repeat the word he just said. “exactly—it’s better to say that rather than completely give up everything—got someone back home?”

he chuckles, lacing his fingers together. “if you meant a three year old son, yes”

“he means a lot to you then?”

“i’d give him the world” he corrects your statement in seconds, thoughts of little megumi clouding his mind. “the only thing that keeps me going”

“well—“ you begin again before saying goodbyes to your friends and colleagues. “that makes him your purpose, then”

he hums, confirming everything what you had just said as the two of your continues to stare into each other’s eyes.

“why don’t you come over here? talk to me more about you” you offer,

“would hate to ruin your evening, ma’am—my shit is far too complex and boring” he chuckles,

you shake your head in disagreement, smiling at him. “every human’s life is complex—it just depends on those people around us who’s willing to sit and listen—and i chose to listen. so come here” you push a stool in front of you with your feet for him to sit on,

little did you know, toji immediately fell in love with you that night,

“i’m broke, angel” he admits out of the blue, earning a glance from you. “i don’t know why you wanted to do anything with me when i could barely give you something”

your brows are furrowed, “toji wha-“

“i saw those two men tonight who came up to you. very well dressed men” he swallows a lump, “they could probably fix your life. seeing the watch on their wrists? i mean” he chuckles with no humor laced in it and it concerns you even mode,

“who wouldn’t?” his eyes then move briefly to yours, whose eyes scanning through his features like there’s something deeply wrong about him. “you’re a beautiful woman with a the kindest soul i’ve ever seen and i’m just the lucky bastard who gets to be with you… I still question myself sometimes ‘why on earth does she wants to be with me?’ “

“they could provide you better” he ends the sentence with a small voice

“baby” you speak with tenderness, fingers quickly moving under his chin and get him to look at you when he refuses. “toji baby, look at me”

and it nearly damn breaks your heart when you see toji struggles to push back his tears,

“where is all of this coming from?”

he shrugs merely as a response, shyly looking down,

“I’m supposed to be the man of the house, treating you nice, getting you jewels and shit but i barely can cover up bills to pay” he admits,

and if silence was the only thing you could hear that night, then a chip of your heart could probably still be heard.

“i don’t fucking care” four words leave your mouth sharply. “what you-we” you correct, “have to go through—i will go through it with you—and i will not leave you behind”

toji releases a breath as your thumb pads against his skin, eyes staring contently into yours with a heart that beats softly for you,

“if i had to sit my ass all night, going through jobs applications, and waking up in the morning to drive you for hundreds of interviews then i will” you firmly state, both hands now cupping his face as you wipe away his small tears.

“i will not just sit and watch you fall” hearing your voice almost breaks is enough to make his heart clench too. “who bought megumi his favorite books yesterday?”

toji gulps. “i did”

“who bought the groceries this month because we wanted to have pasta for dinner?”

“i did” he answers again, hand holding your wrist,

“who made reservations at that crazy expensive restaurant on the South because his demanding ass wanted to treat me something?”

hearing that makes him chuckle, nodding. “me”

“yeah” you confirm. “you did, baby.” a small smile appears on your face. “so as long as you’re able to put food on the table, you’re okay. as long as you’re able to give megumi what he needs, you are not broke. as long as you have a roof over your head, treating me good, we are okay. you hear me?”

he nods once again, feeling his heart fails to finds a steady rhythm by how gentle yet firm you are with your words.

“but you mentioned about the dress—“

“ay, papi—enough” a groan escapes you. “i don’t give a damn about a 2,000 dollar dress knowing you’d probably rip it off of me anyway”

toji releases a loud laugh, his hands moving down to your waist. his forehead knocking softly against yours, holding onto you tightly as if he’s afraid that you will disappear.

it is at this moment that toji realizes at this point that no one would probably put up with him nor understand him like you,

because it is what it is. you love him for him not for the money he owns. you look at the whole landscape and saw a real man. that’s what made you fall in love

“none of that bullshit anymore, okay? please?” you beg with wavering voice, hurt that your boyfriend is feeling this way about everything,

“okay—i’m sorry, angel i just—“

“i get it baby, i get it” you nod, kissing his lips. “but you don’t have to be scared with me, yeah? i got you like you got me. and when shit gets too hard, i’ll still be here for you. for megumi” you promise,

“if that was your way of trying to get rid of me then you need to try harder—i’ve had worse and there’s no way in hell i’m leaving” a playful statement that brings another laugh between you two,

“i’ll put the ring on it one day, princess—i promise” and he will, he knows he will,

you know that too,

“i know baby—i know”

maybe lucky isn’t the only thing he’s feeling when he’s got you

—

not proofread so its probably a mess