#How to Build Business Credit Without Using Personal Credit
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Boutique Mod - DOWNLOAD
Inspired by the sims 2 shopping for clothes system, I present a sims 3 take on buying clothes, accessories and running a thriving boutique! Set up shifts, keep the racks stocked, and you might find yourself in profit!
Required:
Ambitions
NRAAS Master Controller + Integration Module
Optional:
ITF if you want to use the clothes mannequin and some visual effects.
Late Night if you want the animations for the security guard.
Seasons for extra interactions on the mannequin.
Savvy Seller Set for some visual and audio effects.
Full Documentation is included in the download. I spent a while writing it out, so please read thoroughly!
How Stores Work:
Set up a shift
Hire Employees (bosses count as employees so stores are fully functional with only one sim!)
Link at least one rack to the register
Open for business!
Employees:
Store employees can be given three types of roles: register attendant, sales attendant and security guard.
Employees will do their jobs automatically but you can always manually tell them to do things too like: restocking, dressing up mannequins, helping customers, among other things.
Customers:
Inactive and active sims can browse through the racks and have the ability to purchase items. They'll interact differently depending on if they are shopping at a clothes rack, accessory rack, or at a mannequin.
Inactives won't purchase outfits from mannequins unless you direct them to (or you enable auto-purchasing in the XML). However, they may "fake" buy clothes.
Once finished shopping, customers hold their bags and wait to be rung up! Take too long and they may abandon their purchase.
Shopping:
Adjust prices and restrict customers by age and gender to customise your store!
Clothes Racks:
Buy Clothes for your own sim, sims in your household, or (if you're an employee) suggest clothes for customers.
Employees that suggest clothes for customers can fulfil Ambition Stylist jobs this way.
Accessories Racks:
Choose accessories to be sold by adding them to the XML in the package file. The XML comes loaded with a few base game items already plus a couple modded items (Arsil's Sunglasses and lipstick - that won't be loaded unless you have them installed).
Sell buy-mode items as well as CAS items!
Make your CAS items wearable from your sim's inventory using your own meshes or my dummy accessory (see Documentation and XML for details).
Blacklist certain categories from being shown. If you want a dedicated shoe shop or an opticians, you can have it!
Try on products before buying them to see if they suit your sim. If there's a mirror in the room, they'll check themselves out in it.
Clothing Mannequin:
Try on the mannequin outfits to see if they suit your sim.
Plan different outfits to display and even set them to be rotated through seasonally.
Let your employees be creative and choose a random outfit for the mannequin to wear.
Buy clothes for your own sim, household members, or customers.
Allow or disallow inactives from automatically purchasing display outfits.
Security Gates:
Give your security guards something to stand and look threatening by.
You can try your luck at stealing from the shop. If you're caught, you'll have to pay up. If you get past the gates (or if there are no gates), enjoy your bounty!
Boutique Door:
Cloned from the Savvy Seller doors without the annoying 'kick-every-last-person-out-the-building-come-closing-time' feature.
Link this to a register and let the open and close sign automatically flip itself. Also, close the store or rename it, straight from the door.
Phone Interactions:
Ask for time off work (paid or unpaid).
Call in sick.
Cancel vacation days.
Credits and Thanks:
@dhalsims for adding geostates to the ITF rack for me. Modders, I really recommend her if you need any 3D models made also!
DouglasVeiga for the BG rack with the geostates.
@aroundthesims for allowing me to use her objects in my mod as always!
Sims 4 for all the animations that I converted.
Simstate & merchant mods for the idea to go into a mode to link racks to the register.
The OG shop for clothes mod and pedestal by @anitmb.
Arsil and @zoeoe-sims for wearable CAS items idea that I adapted.
Ani's Candle mod & Amb. Makeover XML which I looked at for inspo on how to do accessory rack xml.
Compatibility:
All new objects so shouldn't conflict with anything really.
Removes the 'plan outfit' interaction from dressers.
Made on version 1.67.
If you would like to donate as thanks, please feel free to do so at: my kofi! I don't take your generosity for granted!
Download: - Simblr.cc - 2t3 Boutique Mod Suggested Extra CC: - Lyralei's TS2 Conversions (incl. clothes changing booth) - More ATS3 Security Gates - ATS3 Friperie Set
Known issues, prop information and the full feature breakdown are all in the documentation.
Please be patient with me if there are bugs to fix. Also, anyone who DMs me "I don't know how to create a new shift" will be immediately fined £150.
With that said, please enjoy the mod and tag me in your beautiful boutiques,
Phoebe :)
#sims 3#phoebejaysims#boutique mod#ts3#ts3 mods#sims 3 mod#sims 3 cc#simblr#sims 3 download#2t3#functional obj
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Because I've really enjoyed Peaceful Property and contributed to the discourse on here around it, I want to spend some time exploring the thoughtful critiques of the show by @bengiyo, @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, @respectthepetty, @my-rose-tinted-glasses, and @one-of-tankhuns-neurons. I started writing this out but then it got all annoying and academic so imma just list rant with the utmost respect for everyone's thoughts for making me think so much about this show.
1.I wondered about what shows might be examples of class division themes done with an orientation toward the lived experiences of the working class in BL, cuz honestly it's just not super prominent and well-done in much of media anywhere. The Aof series where he takes screenwriting credit seem to be the best representatives: ATOTS and Moonlight Chicken, especially, but he touches on macro and micro economic issues in all his works. Aof's really willing to depict the hardships and compromises required when living with less financial security, and I can def agree that Peaceful Property is not offering that. I just personally feel okay with that, because I see the latter show as doing a more theoretical and symbolic narrative about economics, and overt symbolism seems pretty in-line with the ghost story horror genre its using.
2. To me, I see Peaceful Property's main critique of class issues as being about Marxist alienation. So we've got our first two ghosts being really literal with this, where they have a labor they do and a final product that they don't get to partake in. Builder wants to have a meal in the house he built. Wig maker wants to wear the luxury wig she sewed. Then, with rider, we get a lil more abstract with him wanting him and his delivery to be recognized and build a meaningful relationship with someone. And since then we've been getting more and more abstract about people finding personal meaning and supporting others through their labor. But all of it still connects back to this idea of alienation from their labor, the magician, Chef Hong, and Peach are all prevented from performing the labor that brings them fulfillment by different circumstances.
3. For my reading, the queerness is very much part and parcel of its capitalism critique. Agree with it or not, but man x man loving stories have been used historically to run counter to the competition between men fighting for the top spot encouraged by capitalism. Maurice is a pretty prime example of this, where Maurice, instead of pining upward for Clive, ends up choosing the lower-class Alex and running away to be happy together. Pat and Pran's love in the face of their family's business related feud in Bud Buddy is an even closer example to how I think Peaceful Property is contrasting queer love and capitalistic competition. There's a few signals for me that Peaceful Property plans to explore this a bit more. The Cok Long sign reminds me way too much of the slang of "dick measuring competitions" and I don't think they gave us a character named 'Best,' who has reappeared a couple of times for no reason. With the magician, Pang, and Chef Hong, we also have a repeating motif of lost assistants who made the work meaningful and possible, a socialist emphasis on the value of all workers and the need to connect with others to produce their labors of love, which we see thwarted for the queer story line. The fact that the Thai dancing was two men working together to create the art offers an alternative to a competition between men. And I want to say that I'm just talking about narrative devices here, not the reality of how capitalism works. We're very much in symbolist land, with this take. I'm just a sucker for symbolist land, and it's hard for me to watch horror especially without taking my brain there.
4. And then there's the way queerness alienates one from the accepted 'normal,' which has emerged as a dominant theme in the last few episodes. But if we take this theme and apply it back on previous episodes, we can see traces of it throughout the characters. Home's statements have been the most explicit in illustrating an internalized homophobia with his desire to be part of a 'normal family.' And the tensions with his family about whether he deserved to inherit the properties has queer connotations about queer people's inclusion in their families and the legal and financial repercussions of that (What Did You Eat Yesterday is the top tier of detailed impacts of queer rights in that vein). Peach's social anxieties and depressive behaviors, ostensibly related to his close call with death and ability to see ghosts, parallels queer experiences, too, and we see how it shapes his and his sister's financial predicaments. (Aside: I wonder, regarding some of the complaints about their behavior in the context of poverty, if we might better read the two of them as broke middle class characters. We don't have much context about their childhoods, but their behavior has never really presented as people familiar with getting by on a dime.) Queerness and the threats of financial insecurity have been articulated as interrelated by the series.
5. Home's redemption? We'll know more as things get revealed, but it seems that we're meant to see Home's biggest failing as the negligence that allowed him to hit Peace and his cowardice in not standing up to his family and taking responsibility for the harm he caused. If that is his chief issue, in my view of a restorative process (and thank you so much @respectthepetty for naming this aspect of the show!), the necessary amends are...
facing up to his family (partial check)
admitting his mistakes and seeking forgiveness from Peach (he was in the process of doing so in the latest ep)
addressing the distraction that led to his negligence so that he can attend to Peach and people like Peach so it does not occur again (hmmm...)
That last point is key because we still don't know why it was significant that he was on his busy ignoring the call of girlfriend number 32 or whatever. But I'm suspecting it will connect to Home's internalized homophobia (and @heretherebedork has done some great writing about that subtext). That would give the accident a significance regarding horizontal violence between gay men that the privileged can then run away from while others who can't escape have to suffer the consequences. There's lots of ways queer men can and have done this to one another in everyday life and hook-ups but at the most extreme historically we have the the AIDS crisis, where someone's negligence regarding sexual health inspired by the psychological fear induced by being in the closet could truly be a life-or-death matter with major financial ramifications. For Home to truly own his mistake he is going to have to risk his own financial security in standing up to his family, and he's going to have to stop hiding from himself so he can develop compassion for others in the world. And the last scene in which we see him in the same predicament as Home I saw less as a cop out so Peach and the audience would feel bad for him and forgive him and more as a representation of his ability now to truly understand what Peach has gone through.
6. Do I think this series is going to solve capitalism? This show is about the spiritual dimensions capitalism robs from people, and I think it has real answers about disrupting capitalism through reconnection with our relationships to our work and to other human beings. I'm not religious, but I respect religion's ability to help people find and emphasize a deeper meaning in life, and I think that that doesn't necessarily but can challenge capitalist practices. Peaceful Property is working to show how caring about spiritual well-being breaks up the automaticity of capitalism and has never let go of that thread. To discuss Peaceful Property's takes on class division without speaking about its religious elements seems disingenuous to its greater purpose and a bit disrespectful to the Thai culture the series is so infused with. I'm intrigued about how Kan's plot will play out with the Vimarnsukmun family and it's impact on their finances. What would actually disappoint me and run counter to the show's themes is if the gang somehow inherited the family's wealth or properties other than the ramshackle Cok Long Cocktail Lounge. In Aof's work and in Maurice, the endings involve a disinheritance to represent that life is about connection not financial gain, which contrasts philosophically with the upward fantasies of capitalism. So in ATOTS, Tian moves to the village, in Moonlight Chicken, Jim trades out his diner for a smaller food truck, etc. To find the true meaning of home, Home will need to release himself from his attachment to his inheritance of financial privilege. Of course, being dead might be an option for that lol, but we'll see how the rest of the series plays out.
#peaceful property#peaceful property the series#meta#just floored by how much good analysis is coming out of this show from everyone#thai bl#forcebook#taynew#homepeach
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Valentine's day
Genshin
Day 2: Dan Heng, Gepard, Jingyuan
a/n: istg seedy school is crazy for expelling her just because she's always sick, so im off tumblr for over one week to take care her problem. (Genshin valentine part 2 will be come soon-)
Dan heng
this man is too busy with his book to notice you, even though he is actually currently thinking about a valentine's gift for you. when he was in xianzhou luofu later he would go to scalegorge waterscape to look for something there, the last time he was there after fighting phantylia, he found a beautiful stone that could be used to make rings or necklaces.
so in the end he will go to xianzhou luofu again to pick up the stone, even though he doesn't want to set his foot down there he is forced to do it for you, and only you of course. while on the other hand, you trying to get his attention and are confused because this man has been daydreaming for a long time, what is he even thinking?
valentine's day was approaching and dan heng still hadn't found the stone he was looking for, despair overwhelmed him before finally finding the stone near one of vidyahara's eggs, it's not near but its a bit under the eggs. he had to be careful not to crack the egg or worse, break it and become a sunny side up egg.
slowly but surely he was able to remove the stone safely without the eggs breaking. finally, he took the stone back to the astral express so he could finally shape it into a ring, was he going to propose to you? still not sure, what is clear is that he wants this gift to be the most valuable of all, in other word yes he wants to propose to you.
because he can't make a ring, he commissions someone to do it for him and will pay a lot of credit, the person who made the ring for dan heng agreed and started giving a lot of examples of what the ring will look like. dan heng chose the shape for a long time and finally found the right shape that suits you, the person understood and started working on the project.
day after day passed until valentine finally came, dan heng had gotten the ring and didn't forget to put it in a safe place. while you were wrapping a book you found in belobog and also xianzhou luofu for dan heng. the two of you promised to meet at aurum alley in the afternoon, when you got together you immediately spent time walking around and eating. until finally at the end of the date, dan heng suddenly stopped in his tracks and started looking at you, you who saw him suddenly stop out of nowhere confused about what was happening.
slowly he began to kneel and took out the ring box… “[Name] you are the most precious person in my life, I am kneeling here wanting to ask you something… will you marry me?” you immediately fell silent, not knowing what to answer, tears slowly started to flow from your eyes, making dan heng panic and start to stand up to wipe your tears.
he might not get your answer yet, but he knows what your answer is…
Gepard Landau
captain of silvermane guards and noble from landau family, how lucky of you can get his heart. you and gepard have been dating for a long time, or more precisely three years, but your relationship is very special, even though he is always busy with work, of course he makes time to celebrate valentine's day with you.
this year is like the previous year, but what's different is that gepard is confused about what to buy you, even though you always say it doesn't need to be extravagant, he still insists on giving you the best.
he went to Serval to ask for suggestions for your valentine gift, “oh you gepard, buy them a plushie and a novel. try it, it will work!” he was a bit hesitant and suspicious... but this was his sister, of course her advice was always good, so he did it even though he didn't know what plushies and novels you liked.
when valentine's day arrived, the two of you made an appointment to meet in front of the belobog museum building in the afternoon. so you take the time to get ready and also decorate the valentine's chocolate that you made, when you arrive in front of the Belobog Museum, you don't find Gepard anywhere, maybe he's on his way here.
and of course you were right, you saw him running towards you in his formal clothes and not his silvermane guard armor. it's very strange to see him dressed formally at a simple date like this, but this is what you like about him. he looks out of breath from running out of nowhere so you give him time to normalize his breathing.
when his breathing was stabilise, you first sat near the museum fountain, there you took out chocolate from your bag and gave it to him. "Happy Valentine's Day Gepard," you said to the man and handed him the chocolate, gepard was only silent for a moment before accepting the chocolate from you. when it was gepard's turn to give the gift, he realized... he had left his gift at home.
wow gepard, you are embarrassing yourself in front of your future wife.
Jing Yuan (ft. Yanqing)
The dozing general always has a trick up his sleeve they say, as his wife the facts are true. you don't know what your husband has planned or surprises he makes for Valentine's every year, but that's what you like about your husband in general.
today is valentine's day, and your husband chose to take a day off just for yourself, and yanqing out of nowhere took a day off too... how strange. they both never take a day off on the same day, but you don't care and still spend your time with your little family. the only strange thing is that yanqing is a bit clingier than usual but you don't really mind.
at afternoon, yanqing invites you to go out for a walk, of course, as a good mother to him, you agree without thinking twice. you didn't forget to tell jing yuan that you and yanqing would be out until evening and he just agreed, usually he would grab your waist and tell you to stay.
You didn't really care and left. about walking until eight in the evening, because Yanqing pulled you to the food stalls in Aurum Alley and also to the sword shop. All these activities drain a lot of your energy, so when you two get home, yanqing immediately falls asleep leaving you in the kitchen to store the food you brought. when on the way to your bedroom you see lots of rose petals on the floor leading to your room, when you open the door to your room you find your husband sitting on the bed with only his bathrobe, and what's worse, the top part is wide open shows quite a tempting sight for anyone who sees it.
oh, so this is what the dozing general is planning.
a/n: this should be come out last week, but ye-
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#jing yuan x reader#dan heng x reader#gepard x reader#hsr x you#hsr x reader#female reader#jing yuan#dan heng#gepard landau#honkai star rail x you
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How would kny characters hurt you in an argument?
Includes: Tanjiro Kamado, Kyojuro Rengoku, Giyuu Tomioka, Sanemi Shinazugawa
A/N: Hello readers! This is an idea I got from a hc post on here, I'm not sure who made it but I give credit to them for this hc idea. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
KAMADO TANJIRO:
I feel like most arguments would start because of Tanjiro's protectiveness of his friends
He would probably start scolding you for doing something he thought was reckless while fighting a demon
Especially if Nezuko we're to be the one to save you and get injured, he would probably be pissed off
Tanjiro is the type of person to bottle his emotions up, so he really just snapped at you
He seems like the person who yells and cries during an argument
He would bring up the fact that you had jumped into danger without thinking, calling you selfish for thinking only about the battle and not of your friends
If someone had gotten injured protecting you, like Nezuko, she wouldn't be able to say anything since she was healing and unable to stick up for you
You would just be too shocked to even say anything to defend yourself, along with everyone else, since no one has seen Tanjiro like this before
Once he finishes, he simply excuses himself quietly, saying that he's tired from dealing with this
Bonus!
Zenitsu would immediately rush to your side to comfort you as tears spilled down your cheeks
This would be especially hard if you had past problems with arguments and yelling
RENGOKU KYOJURO:
Now Rengoku seems like a type of person to be less of a yelling type at the beginning, but slowly builds up his anger to the point that he starts yelling
Usually the arguments are about how Shinjuro treats Rengoku and Senjuro, with Rengoku insisting that he can convince his father to be better
You try to tell him that Rengoku should ask for help to deal with his father, but Rengoku stubbornly disagrees
His demeanor during arguments is different, his eyes looking darker and it seems like he loses his friendly glow
When Rengoku argues back, he usually uses something your sensitive about, like if you had a bad relationship with your parents
He would claims that he's at least trying to fix his relationship with his dad, hitting you hard and causing you to go speechless
rengoku usually just stomps away from the fight when he's done saying his mind, leaving you teary eyes and with a broken heart
TOMIOKA GIYUU:
Giyuu always wants to avoid arguing as much as possible, always shutting you down when you want to talk about some problems
This causes you to get frustrated and start bombarding him with questions, like why is he avoiding their problems
Giyuu seems like the type of person to talk more than yell, but his voice is still strained as if he's holding back from yelling at you
Giyuu knows exactly where to hit you to make it hurt, taunting you about problems that you could never solve
His words would go to the point that he makes you burst out crying and run out of the room
He immediately regrets whatever he said in the argument, and ends up going to bed alone, covering himself in the sheets as tears of regret slide down his face
Bonus!
Giyuu wouldn't be able to face you for a few days after the a t in fear of hurting you again with his words
It takes a lot of reassurance from you to get him outside again
SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI:
Sanemi is the type of dude yo go all out during arguments, yelling and screaming at you, even sometimes going as far as you throw things into the ground in rage
You both seem like you're at each other's necks, not backing down from proving your side right
Sanemi seems like the type of person to call you degrading names, such as coward, selfish, etc.
You try to stay calm at first, but you have yo resort to yelling to get your point across
Sanemi is usually arguing to you about staying out of his and Genya's relationship, saying that it is non of your business
You end up running out of breath before he does, simply listening to him yell at you for a few more minutes before he storms out the room and slams the door
By the time he's gone, tears are already streaming down your face, breathless and tired from screaming your lungs out as you collapse to your knees, sobbing
#sanemi shinazugawa#sanemi angst#kny angst#tanjiro angst#tanjiro kamado#zenitsu agatsuma#giyuu tomioka#giyuu angst#rengoku kyojuro#rengoku angst#argument#depressing shit#damn#sad thoughts#oof#kny#kny x reader#nezuko kamado#shinaguzawa genya
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summer strike — hwang hyunjin.
trope. strangers to lovers. found family. comfort fic. heavily inspired by the kdrama
synopsis. having had enough of your life in the big city, you head to a small town where you meet a local librarian who feels a lot like love
word count. 23k words
warnings. drinking alcohol, curse words, mentions of loneliness
note. it’s out it’s out! this kdrama might be my favorite and means a lot to me so i just had to write something inspired by it. it’s basically the written form but condensed with a few changes so credits to the kdrama. i’d rly appreciate any feedback :)
one.
It happened without warning.
As you stand behind the glass doors of the building you work at, rain splits before your eyes. Drip by drip, and then a downpour. You suppose you should’ve checked the Weathers app before deciding to work overtime tonight.
You ponder over waiting it out, but there is no place to go but the train station before it takes its last trip. It’s urgent to get back to your empty apartment where it isn’t rainy and it isn’t windy and the world isn’t ending. So, you run towards the only direction you know in this city, even as rain pours over the streets.
Your soles feel heavy by the time you arrive, but you don’t allow yourself the moment to rest as you swerve through the crowds of people to get to the train doors before it closes. You wish to see a time when silence ghosts the usually busy station, but you don’t have the time. You never do. Always rushing. Always tired.
The watch on your wrist reads 8:21, and it’ll only be a few minutes before a wave of office workers litter the narrow space of the train. When they finally do, the first thing you discern is their terrible body odor—dried up sweat with a tinge of alcohol. It no longer surprises you, so used to the fuckery that is your life.
Instead, you plug in your earphones to drown out their voices, listening to the kind of music that drags you back to a childhood memory. It sounds like popsicles, like wind blowing through your hair as you’re being pushed from the swing, like running on concrete barefooted, like the laughter of someone you love.
Now, you live in a city of strangers.
On the next stop, an old woman walks in. No one makes a move to give up their seat—too tired, too selfish, looking anywhere but the old woman. You think of how small humanity really is as you get up and gesture for her to take your seat instead. She has gone through too many years of her life to stand stuck between the terrible stench of office workers.
She holds a sweet smile as she thanks you. You don’t remember the last time someone smiled at you like that. Silver linings.
When you finally make it home, it’s nearly 9pm. This is what working 9-6 is like in the city. You live off your co-workers taking advantage of your work ethic, your boss’s bad breath yelling into your ear, and never coming home on time.
This has happened yesterday. It will happen again tomorrow.
It’s always the same. The same routine, over and over without progress. You feel like you’ve messed up somewhere. You used to have ambitions, but now you’re just a fragment of the person you used to be. The city was supposed to lead somewhere. It was supposed to be promising. But, the same tired eyes walk down the same path everyday in a dead end.
You don’t know where you went wrong.
You lay in your bed, still soaking wet, with a painful cry waiting to erupt from your throat. You hate that there’s no longer time to create happiness. It’s too late, and minutes from now, you will be asleep.
You stare at the ceiling, as you do every night before you fall asleep, and the only sounds that accompany you are the loud honks of the cars outside and your stomach grumbling. No one calls you to dinner. No one holds you to keep you warm.
It’s so lonely here.
The feeling of a hug is something you don’t see yourself remembering so you press your back further against your bed to mimic the feeling of an embrace. It doesn’t feel right, but it’s the closest thing you can get after the mistake you made of thinking you were made for the city.
Though, as you keep staring at the ceiling, you start to feel sick. You don’t think you can handle this rotting anymore. You refuse to believe this fate is by design, not when you feel like this. With tears you didn’t even notice dried up on your cheeks, you make a decision. There is nothing else you can do here, and this will be your last night in the city. So, you do something you have not done in years, you pull your backpack that’s been collecting dust and throw in as much clothes as you can.
You feel you’ve been cruel to yourself for allowing this to happen for years. The next day, you don’t wake up at the usual time. You spend the night in, and you quit your job once they call. They don’t deserve you there.
As for your belongings, you decided to only keep what could fit in your backpack. Cleaning up the house, you realized that you bought a lot of things; mugs you bought on a whim just because they were pretty, dishes that you only used once to host a house welcoming party, clothes you forgot even existed. The selection process was much more difficult than any job interview. Useless items got sold as soon as you posted them online.
You let go of your apartment and jump on the first train out, leaving behind the bustles and the buildings of the city. Seoul is too much for an unemployed person like you.
The sound of the train pollutes your ears as you step in, the voice of the intercom telling passengers to let people out first before walking into the train. And as the train moves away, you watch the city grow smaller and smaller. You don’t bother looking back.
The little town you're heading to is unfamiliar, but the path before is even more so.
There’s a heartbeat.
two.
Nobody ever visits.
In the city, you learned early on that it was a dog eat dog world. Your kindness can only go so far until it becomes the perfect tool to take advantage of you. They liked to call it survival of the fittest, the Darwinian evolutionary theory. It’s something that’s taught early in high school, often forgotten the year after, yet it’s a theory you continue to use long after everyone else has moved on to other things in life. You’d always found it interesting how it flawlessly captured Seoul’s mechanism of natural selection—the one most adaptable to change is the one that survives.
Nobody knocks on your door to greet you there. Nobody wishes you well. For as long as you can remember, you’d always had to fight, always aboard a ship on rough waters that you’d almost forgotten how a quiet shore sounds like.
You suppose this is why there was no warning when a knock sounds on your door. You hadn’t expected anyone at your door.
The morning was spent carving out a new life for yourself in Angok, running away from the sounds of the city and exploring the place you’d soon call home. There aren’t many establishments here, most of them run by families who have been here far longer than you ever have. You take note of the small convenience store just where you live in case you were feeling too lazy to run to the farmer’s market just by the town center. Small things first, afraid to hear the bustle of buildings follow their way to where you are.
By 2 in the afternoon, you had retreated back to the small apartment you’d rented out. Outside, the wind was getting stronger, making the waves collide harshly with the shore. You think you’d have stayed out longer if the gust of wind hadn’t flapped your clothes around violently. Two in the afternoon, with nothing left to do, when the door knocks.
Knock, knock.
Your heart rate speeds up at the sound. Could the city have followed you all the way here?
With heavy feet, you fight against the voice in your head to greet whoever is at your door. By best case, they’d probably mistaken your quaint apartment for someone else’s.
You twist the doorknob carefully, door creaking when it opens and you’re met with the sight of someone with the most peaceful face and the most perfect set of teeth. His eyes are welcoming as he waves at you in greeting, hair messily swept back with a few strands falling on his forehead almost as if they were designed to be.
“Hi!” You squeak out, eyes nervously wandering back and forth between the man and what you could only assume was his parked truck just by the front of your apartment. “I think you have the wrong apartment.”
“Oh! My apologies. Is this not where (Name) lives?” Your heartbeat picks up its pace again, and your hand around the doorknob starts to feel a little clammy for the fear of his intentions.
“It is actually. Um, how do you know my name?” You try to mask the fear in your tone, but the man easily picks up on it. And if it wasn’t for the situation, you think you would’ve laughed when he comically takes long strides to back up a little bit. He looks silly with his widened eyes and parted lips.
“I’m sorry, that must’ve sounded really creepy. I’m Chan! I live just around here, and my mom just rented you this house? The previous owner ran away with all the furniture, so I brought some so it doesn’t feel so empty.”
Chan flashes you a bright smile, angling himself a little so his truck is in full view.
It solicits a sigh of relief out of you, gripping hand on the doorknob dropping as you feel a little safer. You’d been ready to shut the door. Almost defensive. Almost letting his words fall into mumbles.
“I apologize again. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His tone is soft, genuine even as he scratches the back of his head and bows a little. It’s a strange sight the man with the kind smile. Strange that it only occurs to you now how long you’d gone without seeing a smile so soft in a long time. After all your years in the city, you had almost forgotten the sight of genuineness being directed at you.
“It’s alright. I’m just… a little…” The words fall on your mouth. Frankly speaking, you don’t know how to explain your own behavior. Nervous? Afraid? Defensive? You don’t really know. You feel like a stranger in your own body.
Chan is quick to dismiss it when it seems that you don’t have the intention to finish your sentence. There is no pressure to come up with an excuse here. “Come in. The wind must’ve been harsh on you.”
Pulling the door back a little wider, you invite Chan into your empty apartment, and after asking you twice if it was okay, he finally obliges. As he makes his way inside, he takes the furniture he had brought with him—back and forth, and back and forth from the truck until everything was inside.
He doesn’t even let you lift a finger.
“Sit anywhere.” You make your way to your kitchen to grab him a glass of water, emptying the bottle you had just bought down to its last few drops. You try to take as long as you can in the kitchen in nerve of the small talk that was bound to happen when meeting strangers. Though, your walls start to look at you reproachfully, and you realize you’d been gone far too long to be called disrespectful.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” You hand him the glass, sitting adjacent to him. He simply shakes his head, thanking you instead as he takes the glass from you with both his hands, careful not to touch you in case it makes you uncomfortable.
“I hope this is enough.” Chan motions over towards the pieces of furniture he had brought with him—a couch, a few chairs, and a table for now. “I have some more, but it didn’t really fit in my truck.”
You allow yourself to smile at him, though your eyes fail to meet his for more than five seconds. You don’t know what to say, and something akin to an itch starts to eat at your brain the way a caterpillar does with leaves, one bite then another, pressuring you to say something to satiate the silence.
Chan saves your brain from being chewed away.
“I hope you don’t have a hard time settling in.” He finishes the water you’d offered him before he continues, “I live just 2 apartments away if you need anything. I’ll see you around?”
You nod your head, following him out of the door, and you can only hope you hadn’t scared him away already. You manage to meet his eyes one last time as you move to shut the door, polite smile on your face as he turns back one last time.
“Ah, before I forget… I noticed you had a lot of books with you. There’s a library just a few blocks away in case you were interested.”
“Oh. Thank you. I’ll be sure to check it out.” With one last bow, you gingerly close the door behind you as he finally drives off.
Chan. He feels comfortable despite only knowing him for a few minutes, almost like a caring older brother you never had. You hope to know him more.
As you turn back around, you look at your apartment a little more closely this time, inspecting how the pieces of furniture look, decorating what once was an empty space. It looks more like a home now. You should’ve thanked the man more, you fear you didn’t say it enough.
You brush the thought off and spend the rest of the day cleaning.
three.
It takes you almost a week to go to the library Chan had suggested.
You had promised yourself to finish the book you brought with you first, before committing to new stories and new horizons. Though, it proved difficult as you have always been the type to take more than you can bargain for—purchasing books after books only to leave them behind on a dusty shelf.
But, new places call for new habits, and you vowed to leave that inclination behind.
When you step outside, a wispy curtain of clouds cover the skies. It’s a lovely weather to be outside in, with the summer breeze floating about. Not too cold. Not too sticky.
The air in the city has always been tangled with some form of pollution. Dirty and suffocating. It’s nice to have a change in pace. Being kind to nature, you find, has you reaping the benefits of basking in its beauty. They don’t litter her land with buildings here.
On the way to the public library, you pass by the market where a multitude of people line up, selling more than you can name—fruits and vegetables, homegrown plants, fish, textiles of clothing, brooms, almost everything.
The old and young gather alike, children running around to help their parents, office workers taking a break from their job to buy street food from the vendors. It’s colorful and vibrant, almost fiesta-like that only the people of Angok can radiate.
“(Name)?” A familiar voice has you ripping your eyes from an array of freshly baked cookies, turning towards the origin of the sound to find Chan waving at you.
“Chan, hi!” You reply shyly, yet a little less reserved than when you had first met him.
He looks the way he did a few days ago when he showed up on your door, though more sweaty as he puts down the final box of fruits they had loaded up on his truck. He’s dressed in a loose tank top, you assume to be more efficient in his job, and the beads of sweat glistening on his forehead are more visible the closer he gets to where you’re standing.
Chan definitely stands out with his height, and the way he smiles so easily.
“What are you doing here?” He asks, hands wiping at the side of the shorts he’s wearing.
“I’m actually going to the library… the one you talked about. Though, I’m not quite sure I’m headed the right way?” You try to mask your embarrassment with a short laugh, and his eyes brighten at the way you had taken his suggestion.
His stature lights up in the same manner, clasping both his hands together and replying, “Ah, if you can wait a minute, I can walk you there. I have to deliver a box of oranges there, anyway.”
“Really? I’d really appreciate that actually. Thank you.” You smile politely, and he gestures for you to follow him back to his truck where a man is waiting for him.
The stranger is carrying way more than he should be, about to jokingly boast about his strength to Chan when he takes an abrupt step. An earthquake rumbles in the way a box falls from his shoulders, hitting the pavement and bursting open—almost in slow motion as apples and oranges roll out.
“Shit!” He exclaims with his whole chest, and he immediately bows in apology at the elders around him who look disapprovingly at his choice of language.
“Ah, Jisung.” Chan mumbles, jogging forward to grab the fallen fruits that are still rolling on the pavement. A few onlookers help, much to the embarrassed boy’s dismay, and you quickly bend down to grab at the ones nearest to you.
“Sorry.” His tone is abashed, loading fruits back in the box and setting it aside. Chan simply pats him on the back in fondness.
“Wait, who’s this?” It’s only now he notices you, standing behind Chan with a few fruits in your arms which you hand to him. “Wait, wait, wait. I know, wait give a second.” He continues.
You can hear a faint chuckle from Chan.
“You’re (Name)! Right? You recently moved here?” The sheepish grin on his face is quickly replaced with a look of interest tangled with excitement, forgetting about his ordeal with the fruits in favor of greeting you.
You wonder if news travels as fast as his expression changes in this little town.
“Woah, easy Ji. You’re gonna scare her.” Jisung takes a step back, suddenly aware of how much personal space he’s taking away from you.
“I’m Jisung, Chan’s super handsome and cool friend.” His enthusiasm makes up for his clumsiness, waving at you before suddenly grabbing a plastic container from a big blue cellophane sitting by the side of the box he had dropped. “Here, my mom’s taking up an interest in baking lately. She’s not very good, but please have it as a welcoming gift from me.”
You take the container from his hands, bowing in thanks before meeting his crinkled eyes. Does this boy ever stop smiling?
“Thank you, really. I’d introduce myself but, it seems… you already know my name.”
His unwavering kindness takes you by surprise, just like everyone else in this village. And you’re about to thank him again when he excuses himself to help who you assume to be his mother, who is grumpily carrying a new batch of her baked concoctions.
“So, the library?” And then it’s Chan’s smile again. This time, he has with him a small box of the oranges he told you he’d deliver. You snap out of your far-away look to follow him through the streets.
It’s a short walk, brisker than you thought, and Chan sets the box down on a wooden table just outside of the public library where a young man waits for him—impatience clear on his face.
“Finally. Took you long enough, old man.” The boy opens the box, grabbing an orange from the pile and inspecting it before letting out a satisfied hum when it seems to have met his criterion.
“What do you even need all these oranges for, anyway?” Chan inquires, looking down at the crouched figure of the boy.
“Oranges have vitamin C, which plays a major role in preventing age-related mental decline.” He states matter-of-factly, standing up from his previous position. “Something you can’t relate to, obviously.”
The older boy doesn’t take anything to heart. Instead, you find the same fondness on his face, the one he wore when Jisung had dropped that box earlier.
“Well, I’ll get going then. Will you be okay here?” Chan looks back at you, a huge question mark of an expression decorating his features to ask if it was alright for him to get back now and leave you there.
The younger boy is long gone now, having retreated back into the library with his oranges.
“Oh, yes, yes, of course, sorry. Thank you again.” You smile, and he continues to wave goodbye until he’s no more than a distant figure.
The building is three stories tall, and you have to walk a flight of stairs to get to the library on the second floor. But it’s quiet, and you liked the change of pace from the vibrancy outside to the sudden tranquility inside.
It provides a safe barrier for when you want to be alone with your thoughts, something you never had in the city.
The inside of the library is cold, but the sun reflects through the panels of the windows just right so that it isn’t freezing. It’s as inviting as it is outside, and you’d go as far as saying the friendliness of the library was similar to that of Chan’s warm welcome for you. It isn’t the biggest room, and its run-down nature was particularly striking, but it isn’t something you mind. The cheap furniture and the slight discoloration of wood gave the place a character of its own—like this library has stood for generations and has protected centuries worth of knowledge from the books it holds.
It reminds you of a scene from Avatar the Last Airbender, when they find a lost library with all the knowledge in the world. And the boy with the obsession for oranges can be Wan Shi Tong, the giant owl spirit who’s tasked with collecting information and protecting the Spirit Library.
The door sounds and the floor beneath you creaks as you walk through the room. Though, it isn’t loud enough to catch the attention of the boy you had seen earlier, or as you liked to call him, Wan Shi Tong. He simply calls out an obligatory “welcome”, before going back to the book he’s reading.
The closer you got to the shelves, the more it smelt of books. It’s a nice addition to the ambiance, the scent of pages roaming around and escaping past the ventilation.
You go through the bookshelves, hand moving along their spines. So many books and every single one you wanted to read, even those in foreign languages.
You like this place, you decide. It’s filled with a quiet that allows breathing space, not simply an absence of noise, but a comforting stillness that isn’t easy to replicate. You might come here more often, make it part of a new routine you’re crafting for yourself.
Back in Seoul, you woke up at 6am like clockwork. You shower, eat when you can, go to work, overtime, and go home. Repeat. It’s to the point of exhaustion that the first time you slept in felt like your body was catching up on all the rest it’s been denied, and now it’s being given a space to breathe.
Reaching the end of the shelves, you’re subjected to the sight of broad shoulders and long black hair, standing still as the figure moves to return some books into their slots. They must work here. Should you inquire about how to make a library card? They already seem way friendlier than Wan Shi Tong.
“Excuse me miss?” They give no sign of having heard you. “Miss?”
When he turns around, you’re thinking of all possible ways to move out at this very instant. The boy, whom you had mistaken for a woman, looks at you with slightly widened eyes as if not having expected you to have spoken to him. While that isn’t reason enough to warrant your sudden thoughts of running away, his beauty surely is.
He’s hypnotizing, a beauty that Aphrodite must’ve blessed upon him, the kind that leaves a lasting impression. You’ll meet him once and never forget about him. His hair falls perfectly just above his shoulders, and a mole sits on his face like it was always designed to be there.
You’re embarrassed—if calling him miss wasn’t enough, you’re unsure if the staring did anything to help. Without another glance, you bow and mutter a quick apology before turning to walk away from where he’s stood.
“I’m sorry.” You say, for extra measure even when your back’s already turned from him.
Wan Shi Tong it is.
“Hello.” You speak quietly, and the boy once again looks up from his book. He looks like he’s studying for something.
“How can I help you?” He doesn’t have that false customer service voice, the one that’s overused and far from genuine. Instead, he speaks to you with a sort of passive tone—but it’s not too much that it sounds condescending.
“How do I make a library card here?”
He puts down his pen. “You need an address in Angok for that.”
“Ah, I do have one.” You smile, a little shy, yet relieved that your sudden intrusion of their village hasn’t spread to the entirety of the population yet.
“Did you move here?” He inquires, to which you nod your head in response. “Hm, alright. Hyunjin will help you make one. I’m Seungmin, by the way.”
“(Name).” You introduce yourself back, thanking him for his help as you turn around to only be greeted by Aphrodite’s son, though, you suppose you now know him as Hyunjin.
You can do this.
Hyunjin quickly makes his way behind the desk on the seat next to Seungmin’s so he can hand you a piece of paper you assume you have to fill out for the library card. Though, he still doesn’t say a word. He only points at the parts you need to fill in before going back to another one of his tasks behind the computer screen.
It’s hard not to look at him, and you’d lie if you said you didn’t feel anything when he looked back at you. Though, the feeling is overpowered by the embarrassment of possibly causing him any form of discomfort. You don’t want it to eat away at you until you’re avoiding the library.
You don’t want to avoid the library.
“By the way…” You start suddenly, keeping your voice down. “I’m sorry again for… earlier.”
Silence greets you, as he panics to grab the tiny camera for your library card. “And thank you for helping me right now.”
You seem to only be digging deeper and deeper into your own grave when he still doesn’t respond to you, simply stares as he bows his head slightly to acknowledge you. And it seems that awkwardness spreads like a virus when Seungmin’s head peeks from his book to witness the funny exchange before him. He looks like he’s trying his best to not laugh at whatever the hell is happening.
Then a shutter sounds as you’re filling up your paperwork, unaware he’d already taken your picture. You can only let out a nervous laugh to try and mask the silence that suddenly feels a little suffocating under the prying eyes of Seungmin.
“Here you go.” You hand over the piece of paper, and Hyunjin gives you a printed out library card in return. “Thank you.”
You suppose you can come back the next day to actually start reading. Meeting four new people and embarrassing yourself on top of everything is a little taxing, and you know the weather outside and the pretty cherry blossom trees will help put your mind away enough that you’ll feel better by tomorrow.
The bell rings as you leave, just as it did when you entered and you find yourself smiling at the breeze and the possibility of new friendships.
You told yourself to live a life you won’t regret.
You can do it.
There is excitement when you think of what will happen from now on. Time is all you have now.
As you walk outside, you map out where Chan had led you earlier to make it back to your rented home. If you were gonna come to the library on most days, you might as well have the path memorized until you can guide yourself there blindfolded.
You feel something fluffy just by your legs before you see it, eyes too focused ahead to only now realize you’re being followed by a long-haired Chihuahua. A chuckle escapes your mouth as you bend down to greet the dog. “Hello there, who are you?”
A bark follows, but not a threatening one.
“Come here.” He follows, little paws jumping up to rest on your bent knees with a wagging tail. Almost immediately, you coo at the sight, supplying him with all the head rubs he could possibly ask for.
“Where did you come from, hm? Why are you all alone?” The pitch of your voice is definitely higher, speaking to the dog with a tone similar to one you’d use when talking to a baby. “So cute.”
“I’ll get going now, okay? Go back home too!”
Four padded steps continue to follow you, and the culprit is exactly who you think it is.
“You can’t follow me around. You have to stay here!” Phony scolding, to try and get the dog to stop following you. You don’t want their owner to worry.
“Hey, stop following!” You laugh, starting to jog away from the chihuahua, but he refuses to listen. Instead, he starts running to keep up with you. “Stop it!”
Turns out, it’s hard to convince a dog to stop following you. Especially when he’s made his way into your own home, walking with you for the entirety of your path. The little dog doesn’t have a tag, no owner to contact, and it’s nearing night that you don’t feel safe letting him sleep outside in the inky dark. So, you invite the dog inside who walks around like he owns the place.
You sigh, though never one of indignation, as you sit down on the couch Chan had lended you, and the chihuahua quickly follows to lay himself on your lap. Curled up. Safe.
“What should I call you? Hm? You’re pretty stubborn.” You look down at the dog who’s looking back at you as if having understood anything that you’re saying. “Berry? No?”
It takes you a couple more tries before deciding on Kkami—when the chihuahua’s tail starts wagging aggressively and he attempts to lick your face at the mention.
“Okay, Kkami then. You like that? Hm?”
Your night routine doesn’t change much, there’s just an addition of a curled up Kkami sleeping beside you on your bed. But, you find that you don’t mind it one bit. It’s less lonely like this, and it’s nice to have some company.
four.
You return to the library’s stillness the next day after finishing up some chores—the laundry, the cleaning, everything. Washing your clothes was something unfamiliar to you, as you’d always just sent them to the laundry services near the place you stayed at. There was never time to do them yourself.
It’s a totally new experience when all you have is time now. You keep burning the food you make, but eat it the same. And hanging up your wet clothes outside took forever, but you manage. You just have to remind yourself there’s a book waiting for you in the public library.
The walk to the library is easier now, but the commotion you’d caused yesterday still echoes in your head. It engraves itself even as you make it to the door, hand hovering over the handle. But, there’s no point in delaying. You’ll be here most days so it’s best not to avoid anyone. So, without another thought, you open the door and step into the quiet of the library.
The bell rings as it always does.
“Welcome,” is what Seungmin says, just as he did yesterday. You greet him back, smiling politely as you make your way to the shelves. The room is almost empty. There’s only one other person in the library, a book with black hair on his own table, and he seems to be in his own world.
Hyunjin is also seated at a table, books and paper plastered on the wooden surface as he repairs torn pages. An uninterrupted routine he’s probably grown accustomed to.
“Hello.” You decide to greet the boy as you pass by the table he’s occupying. His hair is swept back today, and it looked like it smelt good.
His eyes light up when he sees you.
“You’re hello again.” He tilts his body so he can look at you, bowing a little. Though, his words come out croaked, and you’re unsure if you heard him right.
“Sorry?” Hyunjin doesn’t repeat himself. Instead, his face grimaces at how he had failed to utter the phrase he had practiced—hello, you’re here again.
But it isn’t his choice of words that surprises you, it’s that he spoke to you at all. His tone is soft, and completely unexpected after the silence you had received the day before. It’s the first words he ever tells you, and you find yourself smiling at the small progress.
A voice in your head tells you that you want to know him more.
So, after a few days of fleeting eye contact and small smiles from afar, you decide to come back to the library.
The afternoon air outside is beautiful, as it always has been when you walk outside, and there’s a mental checklist you go through in your head. Forgetting is so easy, so you try not to.
Buying Kkami dog food was first on the list of things you have to do on your way home from the library. The little chihuahua doesn’t seem to mind being left behind. In fact, Kkami loved his little space on the couch. Though, you still promise to be back as soon as possible, wanting to walk him outside while the sun is still up.
Hyunjin is seated at the same table as he did when he first talked to you, books and pages neatly plastered again when you walk into the library.
Today, you’ll try your second attempt at talking to him.
“Do you… repair all the books yourself?” You ask, looking down at the multitude of pages he’s tending to and the stack of books waiting to be repaired in a trolley parked at the side of his table.
“Yes.” He smiles upon answering, and it’s one that radiates pride in the work he does.
Your lips quaver slightly, trying to find words to say to him. You wonder if it’d be okay with him if you wanted to help out. The work looks interesting, and a little soothing. Would that make him uncomfortable?
Fiddling with the ends of your shirt, you stab your hesitance straight in the chest. “Can I try too?”
His mouth falls agape, and then he’s nodding his head, gesturing for you to take the seat adjacent to him. Hyunjin grabs an extra spatula, passing it to you before smiling shyly down at the books and pages.
“You take the spatula, and spread the glue evenly.” Hyunjin looks up at you before grabbing a page and his own spatula so you can mimic his gestures. “Then, you place the page at its original location.”
He closes up the book he’s working on, patting down at the spine so the glue sticks well. “That’s it.”
“Oh.” You look at his work with fascination, smiling as he sets the book aside. “You’re kind of like a doctor. It’s like you’re applying medicine to the books.”
He grins at your words, eyes averting from your eye contact as he shyly grins. You know he has pure love for what he does, and it warms your heart. It’s a sentiment you wish you had for your job back then.
“I think…” You fix your gaze to your hands that are propped on the table, intertwining your fingers together. “I’m in love.”
Hyunjin’s inability to look you in the eyes seems to falter the moment you speak. His mouth falls back into an ‘o’, and the tip of his ears are awfully red.
“Wait, sorry. What I mean is… I think I’m in love with the process of fixing up old things.” With slightly widened eyes, you gesture at the book he had just fixed cartoonishly, chewing on your lips a little embarrassedly.
The boy in front of you nods, fingers pausing over his task; you turn to look at him, and you’re relieved to see his smile returning.
“I see.” He chuckles, grabbing onto the pages that still need to be glued and grouping them together, tapping them lightly on the table so they align.
“Let me help you.” You reach out to the remaining pages, and Hyunjin looks at you with an expression you don’t quite recognize, but you know has no ill-intent. He always looks this way. Always natural, never forced.
As you quietly work on the task, Hyunjin can’t stop himself from looking at you from time to time. He thinks it’s to monitor your work, but does that excuse the way he stares at the small smile tugging on your lips?
“Has anyone told you how you resemble Aphrodite?”
“Me?” He asks, eyes darting you and the book he’s working on. You grin at him, nodding your head.
“Yes. Goddess of Beauty in Greek Mythology. You know her, right?”
“I do.” He smiles back easily, willing the blush that’s obviously creeping on his cheeks away.
“When I first met you, that character came to mind.” You mumble as you stare at the page in your hands, furrowing your eyebrows as you try to match it to its proper book. You pause, catching yourself before you can misplace the page, and Hyunjin looks up at the sudden silence.
“Which one was this again?” Sheepish. You think you’ve embarrassed yourself more times than not in this library.
You don’t notice Hyunjin leaving his seat, sauntering over to where you’re seated so he can peer at the page and at the books in front of you. “May I?”
His tone is kind, and it didn’t seem as if he were upset that you didn’t know where to put the page. On the contrary, he made you feel as if it was okay that you didn’t know. Quick to reassure.
“I don’t memorize all of these either. I only remember the names and places in the books, and I like drawing to keep an image of them in my head too.” He’s arranging the pages now, putting the corresponding paper atop the book they belong to. “Why don’t you try this one?” The way he says it is so full of expectation, leaning down to hand you a page and you can only smile up at him.
“I’ll give it a try.” You sputter out for words to say, taking the page from him gratefully.
Seungmin watches from a distance, lifting an eyebrow in curiosity as he observes his usually quiet friend speak more words than usual. Though, the observation makes his heartstrings contract.
It goes on like this for a while, silence engulfing the pair of you as you work to repair the books together. Hyunjin showed no signs of you being a bother to him, even reaching out to help most of the time—appreciative of your time. No sound follows, just the beating of your hearts and the rustling of paper.
Until a loud bang rumbles in the sky, interrupting the four of you in the room (even the freckled boy at the corner table who is at the library again today).
Your reaction is instantaneous, jumping back in surprise at the sudden interruption of silence, but a smile replaces the initial shock when you see the gentle pitter patter of rain from the windows.
Hyunjin slips himself out of his seat, rushing to close them so the books don’t get wet as Seungmin goes to help, all while you stare at the drizzle.
You’re reminded of the last day you stepped foot in the city.
“Oh!” You suddenly exclaim when the sound of the rain increases in volume. The burst of rain as the sky splits open reminds you of your laundry and how the initial heat they absorbed must’ve been washed off by the rain.
“I have to go.” You quickly excuse yourself from the boy who has just returned from closing the windows, smiling for the last time before rushing down the stairs to start heading home. Though, you falter in your step. You don’t have an umbrella with you. Should you just make a run for it? You think the jacket you’re wearing can help at least a little bit.
You sigh, about to step into the rain when a hand reaches for your shoulder. Warm and gentle, almost feather-like even. You spin around, only to be met with Hyunjin’s goddess-like features.
“Hyunjin?”
He clears his throat, pulling out his umbrella before handing it to you. “Use this. You’ll get sick.”
“No, no, it’s okay. I can just use my jacket!” Hyunjin doesn’t seem to budge at your rejection, simply smiling as he places the umbrella in your grasp.
“I think an umbrella will do a better job than your jacket.” You laugh a little, not knowing he was capable of teasing. It was cute. He was cute.
“Thank you! I’ll give it back to you tomorrow.” You don’t know why your heart is thumping so fast at the small gesture, but you reason it’s because you’re worried about your laundry. Though, a voice in your head is telling you that’s not quite the answer.
He disappears back into the library, and you shield yourself with his umbrella as you sprint back home to tend to your now wet clothes. The rain smelt acidic as you put away your clothes, setting them aside as the sun seems still so far away in the distance. You’ll hang them back outside when the heat returns.
“Did the thunder scare you?” You pick up Kkami in your arms, cradling him as you try to shield him away from the sudden loudness of thunder and lightning. “I’m sorry I couldn’t walk you out in the sun today.”
The rain is louder in your house, and it’s only when your own stomach grumbles do you remember you were supposed to buy Kkami dog food on your way back home.
Forgetting is so easy.
“I’ll go buy you some food, okay? You must be starving.” You rub the back of his ears, setting him down on the couch before grabbing the umbrella Hyunjin had lent you once again. Though, thankfully, the downpour stops just as quickly as it had started. You’re already inside the family-run convenience store near you when the sky clears out and the sun starts to peek behind the clouds again.
“What can I get you?” You turn to find a shorter man emerge from the back of the store, warm smile etched on his face as he pads his way to where you’re standing.
“I hope the rain wasn’t too hard on you.” He continues. His tone is kind as he waits for you to reply.
“Ah, it was okay.” Though initially caught off guard at the sudden presence, you return the smile gently. “I was wondering if you had any dog food?”
“We do!” He heads to a corner, and the way he grabs the bag of dog food punctuates his arms that you can only now see how big they are. His jawline is sharp too, noticing it the moment he turns that his side profile is visible to you.
He leans down to scoop up the bag in his arms, before heading back to you. “You’re the one who recently moved here, right?”
“Yeah, how’d you know?” You hand him your payment before taking the bag in your arms, hugging it so the weight isn’t as heavy.
“Chan mentioned. I’m Changbin.” Changbin takes your payment, returning to you the change. “I hope we can be good friends.”
“(Name). It’s nice to meet you. I’ll… get going now!” You motion at the dog food in your hands, to tell him you still had a pup to feed at home before waving goodbye as you hurry back to your house.
There’s almost no rain now, the only sign that it had even drizzled was the acidic smell, the puddles that had formed on the concrete overtime, and the gentle trickle of water from one leaf onto the next.
Kkami is waiting for you at home. No one used to wait for you before.
five.
You come back to the library the next day, just like you said you would. This time, Kkami walks with you to make up for not being able to take him out under the sun yesterday. Though, you don’t expect the handwritten “temporarily closed” sign to be the first thing that greets you as you head for the door.
You place Hyunjin’s umbrella just by the handle, almost in an awkward manner as you continue to peer at the piece of paper taped on the door.
“They both went to Seoul for Seungmin’s test.” A voice behind you averts your attention to the same freckled boy from yesterday.
“Ohh…” You respond, nodding your head in understanding as you walk over to where he’s seated just outside the public library. “I was just gonna return Hyunjin’s umbrella.”
Felix seems surprised, but it only triggers his smile to grow wider than it already is.
“I’m Felix.” You blink slowly, shaking his hand when he stretches it out for you to take. When your hand meets his, he pulls you down to sit next to him. “And who’s this little boy?”
“This is Kkami.”
Felix is a nice guy, pulling Kkami up to cradle him in his arms. The first thing that catches your attention is his freckles—like constellations in the night, littering his face like stars do the sky. You love the stars, though, you don’t see much of them in the city because of the polluted air and the abundance of lights from the buildings that line up.
The boy resembles the very comfort you find in the cluster of stars, a calming quality in him as he smiles down at your dog.
But, just as much as he resembles the stars, he smiles like the sun. Perhaps it's the way his eyes form crescents and the way his lips curve that trigger the sight of the sun. But he’s blinding in the most calming way possible.
“Do you have somewhere else you need to be?” He asks, shots of espresso in the way he speaks. Deep and reverberating. How fitting the way his voice wakes you up like the sun.
“I think I’m just gonna walk Kkami around.”
“Do you mind if I walk with you a bit?” Felix puts your dog down, tilting his head to look at you that radiates so much friendliness. “I don’t really know what to do with the library closed.”
He offers like he’s already your friend.
You knew it was an exaggeration to call him a friend right away, but for you it was just that. Especially when he walks by your side, laughing and talking to you as if he’d known you forever.
“You know, it’s nice to hear Hyunjin talk more.” His lips curl into a lovely smile as he continues to accompany you and Kkami in your walk.
“What do you mean?” You ask, eyes trailing down to Kkami who’s padding ahead of the two of you.
“He doesn’t do too well with strangers, doesn’t even talk a lot with me. I think he’s only ever truly warmed up to Seungmin, so it’s nice to just hear him more.”
You blink in surprise at his words before lifting your hand to where it was staring at Kkami in favor of looking at Felix instead.
“Oh.” You don’t know what to say or how to respond to the sudden revelation he’s laying down on you, and he throws his head back in laughter at your speechlessness.
“Don’t worry, I just felt the need to tell you. You don’t have to say anything.”
It goes on like this more—Felix initiating conversation and talking about almost everything until he has to go home. You end your walk with an exchange of numbers and a promise of ice cream the next time you come to the library together.
When you get home, it’s already 6pm. Kkami falls asleep almost right away, and you’re left to do the little chores you have left for the day. You wonder what you’ll have for dinner.
You’re in the middle of preparing a meal when your phone buzzes where you left it.
Ring, ring.
Your brother never calls anymore. So when you receive a call, you weren’t expecting to find his caller ID on the screen. You thought it was gonna be Felix who forgot to tell you something.
“Hello?” You’re the one who speaks first.
You're a ball of nerves wondering why he’s calling you right now.
“Hey (Name). Are you doing okay?”
“Hey, is something wrong?”
“Hm? Can’t an older brother call his sister to check on her?” There’s a scuffle in the background of his end.
“You never call.” You say quietly, picking at the ends of your shirt as you stare at nothing in particular.
“Oh, hah. Well, the thing is… can you lend us some money? You can sell the ring mom gave you. Itt’s just… our son, all his friends are studying abroad every vacation, but he never went.”
Your brother sounds shameless in his request, as if your mother hadn’t given him everything when she passed. All you have left of her are pictures in your head and the ring she had gifted you. You’ve never worn it, but you kept her going-away present. It’s the only thing you have left of her, and it hurts that your brother even thought of selling it just so his son could go on a trip abroad.
This ring meant something to you. Something more than a trip to him.
“Is this your wife’s idea? Does she want me to sell the ring mom gave me?”
“That’s not it.” He sighs exasperatedly, and you know he’s running a hand down his face at how this conversation is going. “Don’t you feel bad that your nephew is losing confidence because he’s never been abroad before?”
“Hey…” A lump forms in your throat, the familiar hands of pain wrapping around your neck to strangle you into tears. “Do you even… know how I’m living right now?”
Your voice cracks, choking on your own words to know that your brother only calls when he needs something. He doesn’t care. He never has. A sob is brewing in your throat.
“I do! But…” He’s getting defensive now, voice raising so he can try to get his non-existent point across. “My family is short on money right now.”
Family. The word is unfamiliar. It left you the moment your mother passed, replacing itself with loneliness. With emptiness. The unfamiliarity makes your face scrunch in the way it does before a hideous sob leaves your mouth, but you will yourself to get yourself together. Just for another minute, while you’re still on the call with him.
“Am I not family?” You mumble almost incoherently.
You don’t think you can handle talking to him any longer, not when he treats you like a bank account he can solicit money from anytime. Not when the first call you receive from him in years is that of asking you to sell your mother’s ring, not even to ask if you were alright, how you were doing.
The strangers in Angok treat you far better than your own brother.
You hang up before he can say anything else.
He has already caused you unbearable pain, and the reminder of how alone you’ve been. You want the pain to go away, you’ve worked too hard only to let it come back in full force. And there is only one way you know that can take it all away, even just temporarily.
It’s how you find yourself at Minho’s small restaurant, two bottles of Soju empty, and a disoriented haze of the place around you.
Minho doesn’t make it a habit to stick his nose in anyone’s business, but when your wobbly legs attempt to grab a third bottle of Soju, he’s hurrying by your table to stop you. “I’ve just made up a non-existent rule that you can only have two bottles.”
He takes it away from you, and you immediately pout when he does, a whine brewing in your throat. You try to imitate the way Puss in Boots looks, when he widens his eyes to get what he wants, but to Minho—you just look absolutely ridiculous.
“I’ve never heard of that rule before.” You mumble dejectedly, staring at the Soju bottle that Minho’s whisking away and putting back.
“It exists now because you’re piss drunk, and I don’t know how you’ll be getting home.” He says, tone softer than it was when you had first walked in ordering your first bottle, as if not wanting to startle you.
“I’m not drunk!” You blink rapidly, abruptly getting up to which Minho sits you back down so you don’t topple over your own clumsy feet. He mumbles something about getting you water.
“Everything just looks funny right now.” Your words come out in a slur as you look at your surroundings with a curious eye. “But I’m not drunk.”
When he returns, you have your head rested on the table, cheek mushed against the surface as your eyes droop a little in sleepiness. Though, there’s an addition of someone new in his shop. Hyunjin looks at you confused, before he fixes his gaze on Minho as if asking him why you were moping around at one of his tables.
“Don’t look at me. I don’t even know who this is.” Minho says in mock surrender, though, it doesn’t take long before his features mimic that of a Cheshire Cat. “You’ll take her home safely, right?”
Minho quickly ushers the pair of you out, waking you up and pushing you in the direction of Hyunjin who holds out his arms in case your feet decide not to cooperate with you. He needs to close his shop.
“Are you okay?” His arms are still hovering around you, not quite touching you, but prepared to if you ever fall forward.
“Hyunjin? How did you come to find me from so far away?” Your eyebrows furrow together as you stare at the boy beside you, as if there was no way he was real and with you right now.
“I’ll walk you home, okay?”
“I’m a bit drunk. I’m a little bit drunk right now.” You mumble, head still hazy as your eyes blink blearily, feeling the need to inform him. Your legs feel extra wobbly.
“Right. Are you okay?” He pulls you back to his side when you stumble a little too far away, soft tone never changing. He looks at your puffy eyes in curiosity, frowning as he thinks of all the possibilities as to why you had been crying.
“Goodness.” You exclaim in your half-conscious state when you almost trip on something, immediately reaching to what’s nearest to you—Hyunjin’s arm.
“Hyunjinnieee…” You start to sway where you’re walking, clearing your throat as Hyunjin is left predicting what your next move is going to be (on top of wondering why your eyes are red and stingy).
Though, he most definitely doesn’t expect you to start singing.
“Why do you appear before my eyes whenever I’m drunk?” It’s loud, uncharacteristic of the you he’s met, and your arms are flailing around as if to act like a conductor in your own orchestra of sounds.
“You’re going home now, okay?” Your smile is loopy as you nod at his words, continuing to sing the same one line over and over again while skipping in your step.
Hyunjin is attentive to where you’re walking, scooping up a potted plant and setting it aside when you’re about to walk into it. “Careful.”
You tell him all sorts of stories as you head home—how you fell in love with the library, how you never thought you’d own a dog, how you’re glad you’re far away from the city.
He listens. To every single one of your stories, all while making sure you get home safely. He looks both sides before crossing the street, hand outstretched to an incoming car to slow it down as you carelessly walk across without so much as a glance.
“Hyunjin.” You suddenly stop in your tracks.
“Hm?” Hyunjin ushers you to keep moving, hand hovering on the small of your back as you start giggling in your dazed state.
“There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you.”
“Okay.”
“Is it okay if I ask right now?”
“Sure.” He replies, arms dropping back to his sides.
“Do you think you can like me? I don’t think anyone likes me.”
A silence settles between the two of you right after you get the question out. Hyunjin pauses in his actions, staring at you as you keep marching forward to where you live.
He allows himself to ponder over your sudden question. He couldn’t quite explain how he felt about you, but he knows it’s good. He has surprised himself time and time again for willingly continuing conversation with a stranger, but Seungmin has stressed it was good for him.
You emit a type of radiance, one of comfort. Maybe it was the way you smile at him, so softly when people look at him strangely for not being able to speak to them right away. He has only spoken to you once, but he knows he wants to talk to you more.
He wants to get to know you more.
He gives you a fond smile as he catches up with you once more. Hyunjin doesn’t know the connotation behind your question, and he doesn’t know what premise his answer falls under either.
Still, he says, “I already do.”
“Oh, we’re here!” You yell out and immediately quiet down when you realize everyone around you must be asleep right now. “Sorry.” Now in a whisper as you look around sheepishly.
“Can you get in safely?” He questions, worry still eminent in the way he speaks, even as you nod your head to answer his question.
“Don’t worry about me. Bye bye!” When you slip into your home, you immediately fall face first on your mattress and fall asleep. Drinking can be so draining when the world around you spins.
You don’t think about the splitting headache waiting for you the next day.
six.
You're fucked.
This much is clear as you finally finish vomiting in your toilet, images from the night before flashing in your mind— the giggling, the stumbling, and poor Hyunjin. You can still hear his voice in your head, telling you to get in safely. You can still feel the way his hand hovered over your back to make sure you don’t fall over.
Well, shit. This is way beyond anything you’ve ever done, moving up to the number one spot of the list you liked to label ‘embarrassment’. Calling Hyunjin miss and forgetting which pages go to which book moves down a spot at the sudden entry of your drunk ass.
“Kkami, what do I do?” You groan, head falling back against the wall of your bathroom as you stare at the ceiling. Will a letter of apology suffice for the way he had to take you home last night despite his exhaustion of driving to the city?
“This is so embarrassing.” Kkami consoles you by curling up by your side, paw resting on your thigh before his whole head drops to lay atop your leg.
Hyunjin is so pretty too. He’s enchanting in the way he speaks, and the way his eyes sparkle naturally when he does the things he loves. He’s unstinting with his kindness too, never losing patience even as you took a long time to repair the books you had offered to help with. You don’t even know if you helped much, but he never made a move to stop you even as time passed and you were making little progress.
It’s easy to fall into your embarrassment, which is how you find yourself with a notebook in hand, thinking of how the hell you were going to apologize to him. You don’t think you have it in you to go up to him face-to-face and have to recall the events of the night.
You might as well write something.
“About what happened last night…” You look at your notebook with critical eyes, immediately scratching it out to think of a better way to start your note.
“I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I don’t know how to say this.”
The second candidate is just as bad as the first one.
With your chin on the palm of your hands, you rack your brain for every possible way to say sorry. It’s not like apologizing was anything new to you, it’s even become a habit in your work life for the past few years. Always doing something wrong. Always apologizing. Even if it was never your fault to begin with. Though, this time, you want it to be genuine. You don’t want to imitate the phony way you’ve said sorry before.
Your eyes are glazed as you stare at the piece of paper.
Hyunjin has a routine fixed, so you make it a point to reach the library at noon when he’s busy pushing a trolley full of books to return them to where they belong on the bookshelves. He only hears the bell ring when you walk into the library, like you always do.
Peering over the shelves, he finds himself smiling to himself when you wander inside the library. He peels his gaze away for a few seconds to return a few books to their spots, though, apparently that’s also the time it takes for him to hear the bell ringing again, to indicate that you had left just as quickly as you had walked in.
Tilting his head, Hyunjin backs away from his work to check his desk where a small note sits.
“I’m sorry…” with a small drawing underneath.
It looks like the work of a child, but Hyunjin could tell instantly that it was a portrait of you and him from the night before. It prompts a smile on his face, eyes flicking from the note to the door. He keeps the piece of paper in his drawer to think about later.
Hyunjin has never had the courage to strike while the iron was hot, but he finds himself walking out the public library in hopes of catching you before you’ve left.
He finds you seated on the bench outside, eyes trained on the screen of your phone with your legs outstretched.
“Excuse me.”
You almost drop your phone when you hear him, immediately standing up to greet him. He looks good, as he always does. His complexion shines even prettier under the sun. The natural lighting highlights his hair in that it looks more dark brown than black. And his smile. It’s a little less shy now, and more open.
“Thank you for the note… and the drawing.”
He sounds like an angel too. You’ve always found his voice pretty, in a different way from Felix’s deep ocean voice. His was gentle, soft, and way nicer than you remember it being.
You try to think of the right words to say, sputtering over whether you should bring back what had happened last night or simply accept his thanks.
Taking a deep breath, you nod your head. “You’re welcome.”
Hyunjin has his hands clasped together in front of him as you speak, rocking himself back and forth on the heel and soles of his feet.
“You must’ve come in safely, then.” You laugh a little at what he says, and it only makes his smile brighter.
“Yeah. I’m sorry again.” It makes you cringe when you think of your behavior, but Hyunjin doesn’t seem to mind at all when he puts his hand up as a motion for you to stop apologizing.
“Not at all. I’m just glad to know you’re okay.”
The statement has your cheeks warming up, staring at him and the bag of ice cream you had initially brought for you and Felix. He had texted you earlier saying he couldn’t make it, and promised that he’d be the one to buy the ice cream next time.
Ice cream can be a good peace offering.
Grabbing the bag, you lift it up and smile coyly at the boy. “Do you want some ice cream?”
Hyunjin’s eyes form into crescents at your offer, lips curling up into an easy smile as he makes his way to sit adjacent to you. It feels nice like this, sitting outside in the breeze with only the two of you as you hand him the ice cream flavor of his liking, the tree just behind you doing a great job at shielding you enough that the sun’s heat isn’t too hot, but is still there.
“You know, I prefer cone ice creams over popsicles.” You mention suddenly, looking down at your cone and peering at the popsicle he had chosen for himself. He hums at the information, eyes softening when you ask him the same thing, like his opinions matter to you. Like you want to get to know him too. “What about you?”
“I’m not a big…” He catches himself before he can continue. Hyunjin isn’t the biggest fan of ice cream, but he finds himself unable to reject your offer. It’s an opportunity to sit in this moment with you.
He’d eat ice cream over and over again if it meant being able to stay in this moment.
“Well, ice cream does taste good, but the apple flavor…” He finds that he has a hard time answering your question, pausing to ponder over his words. It has you giggling. He looks cute thinking his options over.
“You don’t have to answer me.”
“But this one is good.” He lifts the popsicle in his hand, taking a bite out of it to show that he was being truthful with his words.
You laugh this time.
“You know, I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing when I first got here. But, I found myself falling in love with the library.” Hyunjin looks at you when you speak, unlike his previous inability to maintain eye contact with you.
“You’ve actually told me that already.”
You tilt your head in confusion. “I have? When?”
“Back then.” He’s gesturing something with his hands, and you continue to stare at him to try and decipher what he was acting out. Though, it’s pretty quick to figure out once he pretends to drink out of a shot glass, and your eyes widen at the realization of when he was referring to.
“Back then?” You repeat, and he chuckles at the way you roll your head back in embarrassment.
He hums in confirmation.
“What else did I say? When I… you know…” You trail off, looking at him for answers, but not quite wanting to repeat the words. He takes the hint well.
He laughs, before shaking his head. “It wasn’t so much talking, but rather singing.”
“I sang?” You stare at him dumbfounded as you try and recall what exactly happened. “I actually sang?” You laugh out loud this time, and you fail to notice the way his entire face lights up at the sound.
“What did I sing?” You look shocked and confused, yet there’s a smile of amusement on your features when Hyunjin actually starts singing the melody you had the night before.
“Why…” He clears his throat. “Why do you appear before my eyes whenever I’m drunk?”
“Wait, stop! Oh my god. Please stop.” You reach forward, resting a hand on the table and leaning forward to get him to stop singing.
“Can you please forget about that entire night?” You bring your hands together almost begging, and he can only laugh in amusement at the way you’re reacting.
“I don’t really think about it that often—“
“You even sang the song!” You interrupt.
“That’s because you asked.” He lifts a hand to scratch at the nape of his neck, bashfully smiling.
“This is so embarrassing.” You hang your head, a wince of an apology soliciting itself from your throat as you swing your feet back and forth to physically cringe at yourself.
Seungmin arrives at that very moment, his own complaints spilling out and drowning yours out. He pauses when he finds Hyunjin outside with you, squinting his eyes suspiciously before letting it go in favor of complaining once again.
“They’re so annoying! They think they’re so high and mighty.” He drops at the seat next to Hyunjin, and you offer him the only ice cream you have left in your bag. You have no idea what he’s talking about, but it seems Hyunjin knows all about it.
“They won’t do it?” Hyunjin asks, and Seungmin all but sighs as he starts peeling the wrapper off the ice cream.
“I mean, I guess it’s not easy to come down here to listen to old people talk.” Seungmin takes an annoyed bite, throwing his head back. “They might make me write the article, too. And I have to do it tomorrow. Can’t someone else do it?”
An idea forms in his head.
Hyunjin looks at you gingerly, and Seungmin visibly perks up when he follows the boy’s line of sight. You clear your throat, suddenly breaking eye contact and looking anywhere but the two boys.
“Will you please do it?” He grins wickedly, whole body tilted to face you as he reaches out to grab your attention.
“Well, you see…” You mumble. “I only proofread when I was working at a publishing company.” You point out sheepishly between each bite at your ice cream, doing your best to not look at Seungmin.
“The fact that you proofread means you’re familiar with writing.”
"Still…” You trail off with your words, not knowing how to defend yourself any further when Seungmin is clasping his hands and begging you to help them do the work. “I’m just not very confident.”
“(Name).” Hyunjin calls, and you look at him in hopes that he has a plan in mind to save you from Seungmin’s request.
“Why do you appear before my eyes…”
Your mouth drops at his words.
“What did you say?” Seungmin questions, and you look back at the boy to subtly shake your head, as if trying to get him to stop. Instead, he smiles a little mischievously.
“Whenever I’m…” You wince, immediately putting a hand up to stop him. Fortunately for Hyunjin, you’ve been begging him to forget about the night before, so you feel as though you owe him something.
With your head hung lightly and a look of defeat on your face, you finally agree to Seungmin’s request.
seven.
When you arrive, Hyunjin is already waiting for you with a camera slung around his neck. He looks so pretty with his hair falling messily over his shoulder. He’s wearing a white shirt and some jeans, though, what catches your eye the most is the huge knitted sweater he’s wearing.
“Hello, good afternoon.”
“Good afternoon.”
You fail to notice his own reaction, too busy admiring his beauty to realize he’s doing the same. Opposite you, Hyunjin’s jaw-dropping reaction to what you’re wearing is staring at your face with a small smile playing on his lips. He’s fiddling with his camera now, eyes traveling from the clip you’re wearing on your hair to the cherry lip balm you’d applied just before leaving.
What colors was he using painting you in his head? Pastel hues with a tinge of vibrancy.
“Shall we go then?” Suddenly, he can’t look at you, eyes trained just behind you as he asks.
“Okay.”
It doesn’t feel like a far walk with Hyunjin next to you. In fact, it barely takes 15 minutes before you reach the house of the person you’re supposed to be interviewing.
The outside of her home is beautiful, and an older woman you don’t recognize greets you and helps you both inside. Her home is surrounded by a wide expanse of grass, the view of the sea beautiful from a distance. The house itself is built with wood, and the row of vegetable plants lining up behind the low-standing table outside provides a breath of fresh air.
“Good afternoon. We’re here for an interview.” You inform politely, and she nods her head as if finally remembering why she’s letting two strangers into her home.
“Sit down, sit down.” Her tone is welcoming as she urges you to sit down, allowing Hyunjin to set up the camera on the camera stand he brought with him. Never imposing as she asks if you need anything else.
“You’re dressed so nicely.” You smile, the full view of her garden behind her accentuating her features. You’re sure she was quite the heartbreaker when she was younger.
“Just relax, and imagine you’re having a chat with your daughter.”
The interview goes smoothly. You ask her of things big and small—her age, her family, her history with Angok, anything you can think of. Seungmin didn’t give you any specifics to ask, just that you would write about her life. In this way, you’d be getting to know her.
She speaks of her children and grandchildren with so much love, that it almost makes you envious that you don’t have a grandmother figure to lean on. You’re all you really have left.
When you look over at Hyunjin, he gives you a toothless grin, as if to assure you you’re doing a great job. It lasts around an hour, and you’re just about ready to go home when she stops you and Hyunjin from fixing up.
“Oh, goodness.” She doesn’t need to ask for Hyunjin to hurry his way to her, grabbing the huge platter of food she grabbed from inside her house, settling it where you had sat earlier.
“I had no idea it was time for food. You guys must be hungry. Come on, let’s eat.”
“Thank you for the food.” You both say, and she only smiles as she admires the young couple in front of her.
The food is cooked with care, having just the right amount of seasoning. There’s a variety of vegetables which you assume to have been freshly picked from the garden she has. Hyunjin seems to mirror your thoughts, immediately praising her for the food.
“The food is delicious.”
“Really?” She finds pleasure in the way you’re enjoying your food. Perhaps, she was trying to catch a glimpse of her children in the two of you.
“Are you two married?” You and Hyunjin pause from eating, staring at each other before looking back at the older woman.
“No, we’re not.” You answer for him, laughing a little at the accusation she had just made. “We’re not married.”
“Oh, too bad. You guys would make a great couple if you were to marry.” She says light-heartedly, staring directly at the boy who’s refusing to make any eye contact at the sudden topic change. Hyunjin nearly chokes on the lettuce he’s eating, coughing a little as he mutters a string of apologies. She only smiles knowingly, offering up some water to the poor boy.
He swallows down his food, putting on a cordial smile directed at the old woman.
The rest of the time plays out without any more questions as to what the relationship is between the two of you, which Hyunjin is more than grateful for. He’s afraid of tripping over his own feet when you’re mentioned as his girlfriend one more time, as if choking on his food wasn’t enough already.
At some point, while you’d been talking, the sun had started to set which prompts the older woman to send in a flurry of farewells as she ushers the pair of you to get home safely.
Looking at you now, while the orange hues of the sun falls on your face, Hyunjin concludes that he feels something for you, evident in the way his heart starts beating a little faster and his palms start to sweat when you’re around. The awkward atmosphere between the two of you is long gone, and he finds himself hearing the gentle undertone of your voice in his head before he falls asleep.
He’s even more floored after today, after having seen first hand how you treat people with so much kindness—even Seungmin, who’s the number one enemy on everyone’s list in this small village. He admires the way you smile at strangers, and your eloquence in conversations even with the little words you say.
It’s only been a while of knowing you, yet he finds himself thinking about you all the time. From the first day you met that muggy afternoon, to how you helped him with repairing the books, even that drunken night where you had sang for him, and the morning after when you shared ice cream with him. He finds himself repeating these moments with you over and over in his head, like sifted sand, until they’re properly engraved in his mind.
“You know… all I really did today was listen to her stories, but my heart feels at ease because of it.”
Hyunjin looks at you as you walk side by side each other, the sunset’s glow falling on everything around you.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
When the wind blows, leaves from the trees lined up near you float around you. From time to time, you’d hear the crunch of crushed leaves as you step on them. All the while, Hyunjin is walking close to you, watching you and listening to you.
“Thank you for working with me on this.” Hyunjin suddenly says, words softer than expected as he locks eyes with you. He wants you to know he’s genuine in his gratitude.
“I hope you’ll like my writing once you get to read it.” You smile nervously, keeping eye contact with him, and you don’t know how pivotal this moment is for the boy. How your kindness is pulling him deeper and deeper into you, everything about you—your sweet smile and your bright eyes.
“I will.”
Talking to you feels easy and natural.
“You will?” A small smile creeps onto your face at his response, and he nods his head in confirmation.
Silence passes.
“I hope we can keep working on this together.” Hyunjin surprises himself with how straightforward he can be with you, with how easy it is to tell you he wants to keep spending time with you.
“If you buy me dinner tomorrow, I’ll think about it.”
The whole world stops in this pocket of time. While everyone goes about their evening, Hyunjin is stuck on your words. Your eyes glisten with a certain type of glow no one can replicate, and he thinks he’ll always remember your face right now, smiling fondly at him, lit by the setting sun.
“Okay. Dinner tomorrow.”
Heat continuously rises to his face the more you look at him, but Hyunjin supposes he can blame it on the sun for now.
eight.
It is exactly 6:36 in the evening when you meet Hyunjin at the library to grab dinner with him.
When the bell rings, he can’t help the smile on his face when he realizes it’s you that’s walking into the library. He never used to smile this much before. But it can’t be helped, not when it’s you.
“Hello.” He’s the one who speaks first.
“Hi.” You reply, mimicking the smile on his face. His eyes are glossy when you meet them.
“Shall we go to dinner?” He lets out a small breath, hovering just in front of you.
Hyunjin looks like a bundle of nerves. You don’t know that, in his head, this feels akin to a first date. One he hasn’t gone on in a long time. So, on the outside, he’s perfectly composed, eyes dropping on the wooden ground. On the inside, however, he’s sweating and twisting and turning and screaming that he’s about to have dinner with you.
“What? Are you buying dinner?” Seungmin’s nosy ears perks up at the mention of dinner, immediately moving from his place behind the desk to join the two of you. “I was just starting to get hungry. Come on, let’s go.”
While Hyunjin wants to be upset at the sudden third wheeling of Kim Seungmin, he finds that he isn’t.
As funny as it sounds, he’s kind of grateful for the sudden interruption. He’s too afraid that if you were to have dinner together, alone, and his fried brain was convincing him it was a first date—his feelings would become too real. He knows he likes you, but he doesn’t want to act on it too soon. He doesn’t want to scare you off, doesn’t want to scare himself off.
Hyunjin has way too much of a feeble heart, that even walking beside you right now, with your hands slightly brushing against the other, he can already hear his heart beating in his ears.
He has always thought of himself as patient, so he doesn’t understand why there’s a growing irritation at the back of his head for the inability to hold your hand in his. It’s even more confusing as he knows he’s never been the type to crave for skinship, never eager for physical touch. So, what’s changed?
“Yah, Lee Minho!” Seungmin’s voice is loud as he walks into the restaurant, though, a much younger boy greets him.
“Innie, where’s Minho?” Jeongin gestures at the kitchen, immediately setting off to find the older boy at the request of Seungmin.
You hide behind Hyunjin the moment Minho appears from the kitchen. You’re sure the memories from that night are still fresh in his mind, and he’d been the first to witness your drunken, hazy state. When he sees you, his lips tug into a lazy smirk, but he chooses not to say anything.
“We went to interview that old lady yesterday.” Hyunjin feels the need to inform Seungmin who’s smiling, pleased with his ability to coerce you into helping them out.
Everyone finally settles down into their seats, Hyunjin cooking the meat silently as conversation starts. Jeongin joins you not long after, asking if it was alright. Your food sizzles behind the chatter around your table.
“What interview?” Jeongin asks.
“A writer didn’t show up, so (Name) did the interview instead.” Seungmin informs the table, and Jeongin nods in pretense of understanding the situation.
“How did you know how to do that? Where did you work in Seoul?” Minho’s the one to ask this time as he refills your meat, setting down a plate of raw pork just by Hyunjin’s arm.
“She worked at a publishing company.” Seungmin says with a mouth full of food.
“I see. Then you must’ve had a lot of boyfriends.”
You tilt your head at Jeongin’s sudden proposition, like he’s trying to fit two completely different puzzle pieces. There’s absolutely no correlation between working at a publishing company and having multiple boyfriends. It seems Seungmin is wondering the same thing, cogs turning in his brain at Jeongin’s stupid question.
“How are those two related?” He deadpans.
“I’ve always found well-read girls charming and attractive.” Jeongin simply shrugs, shoving down another piece of cut-up meat in his mouth before chewing. “So, do you have a boyfriend?”
You fail to notice the way Hyunjin suddenly leans closer to the table, suddenly finding interest in the topic when he had been absent for most of the conversation.
“Oh, I used to have one. But we broke up.” You laugh a little nervously, quietly thanking Hyunjin who sets a few cooked pieces of pork on your plate so you don’t run out while eating.
“Why? How long did it last?”
Jeongin and Seungmin seem to have a lot of questions, and you can see Hyunjin sending them a side eye from your peripheral vision at their rather invasive question.
“Quite a long—“
Hyunjin concludes he doesn’t need to know anything about your ex-boyfriend. He smoothly interrupts the conversation by stuffing food in Seungmin’s mouth. “This is about to burn, you should eat it.”
He glares at the boy viciously, but even the scowl on Seungmin’s face couldn't crack Hyunjin’s persistence in cutting the conversation short. He doesn’t know if it's jealousy, never having felt it before, but he knows he doesn’t want the image of you kissing another boy imprinted in his mind.
Thankfully, Jeongin moves on to another topic, speaking about how he’s in the last year of college and how much he hates it. All the while, you and Hyunjin share small smiles from across the table.
You both let Jeongin and Seungmin carry the conversation. You were never good at keeping the flow of one going anyways. So, instead, you play the listening role. The one you’ve always been good at.
Throughout dinner, Hyunjin does little things for you. He refills your empty glass of water, he puts meat on your plate so you don’t run out, and he constantly checks up on you—to see whether you were overwhelmed with the loudness of the two boys.
He does so by looking at you with an endearing smile, light dimples on his cheeks as he chuckles when you smile back at him. It’s a quiet conversation between the two of you, even if it’s just communication between smiles. Hyunjin is like a breath of fresh air from the crackling volume surrounding you.
He offers to walk you home after the four of you finish up with dinner, telling you that he couldn’t allow himself to simply let you walk alone in the dark. You respond with the crinkling of your eyes and a soft ‘thank you’.
Being with Hyunjin, alone, is quite possibly the purest form of comfort you will ever know. He’s tender and gentle and attentive, like he knows what it’s like to have the peace you value being breached constantly. Though, lately, you find that the quiet you crave for isn’t necessarily complete silence. It’s the comfortable and uninterrupted calm you feel when you’re with Hyunjin—whether at the library or walking home together from dinner. When he’s with you, warmth always makes an appearance.
There is no demand to make conversation.
You let your gaze veer off to the sea and how the waves crash along the shore. There's a breeze softly wafting through your hair, and you smile at just being able to view the ocean anytime you want. A pleasure you’ve always been denied off back in the city.
As your simple house comes into view, your shoulders fall at knowing he would have to leave now. You stop in your tracks, biting at your lips, and Hyunjin waits for you to say something. Never demanding. Always patient.
“Do you wanna meet my dog?”
His mouth opens in response, before a toothless smile forms in his features. “I’d like that.”
Kkami’s wiggling body with his wagging tail is the first to greet you when you open the door. You crouch down, arms open so he can jump onto you just the way he likes. “I’m back. I’m sorry to keep you waiting all this time.”
“Come in, come in.” You urge Hyunjin to get in, resuming your standing position so you can close the door behind him. “You can keep your shoes on if you’d like.”
He refuses, immediately taking them off before crouching down to greet the long-haired Chihuahua. They get along right away, Kkami constantly tapping his paw on Hyunjin’s knees to get his attention.
“I’ll get you something to drink.” You disappear into the kitchen, grabbing him a glass of water before hurriedly returning.
His hand brushes against yours when he reaches to take the glass from you, and you hate how fumbly the simple gesture gets you. It makes you feel like you’re back in high school, helplessly crushing on the boy who’s way out of your league.
“I think he likes you more than me now.” You crouch back down, looking at the way Kkami nudges his head on the side of Hyunjin’s thigh.
“I think he’s just a friendly dog.” He reassures you, though, he can’t help but feel a little pride that your dog immediately warms up to him. He’s always wanted a dog too.
When Kkami starts to give his attention back to you, Hyunjin calls him back. “Come here. There’s food here, can’t you see?”
His false bribery has you laughing.
“Now you’re just lying to my dog.”
He’s unfazed, continuing to lie to your poor dog about the invisible food he has in hand. “I have food for you, come here.”
“Wow, my dog left me and chose you because of your fake food.” You pout when Kkami successfully sits himself on Hyunjin’s lap, barking in glee when the boy rubs the back of his ears.
He sets the empty glass on a table nearby, careful not to drop it with Kkami still on him, gaze falling on the ring around your finger when you take it so it’s safe in your kitchen sink.
“Your ring is really pretty.” His compliment is genuine, and you can’t help but smile as you look down at the metal band your mother had given you, the one you started wearing since your brother called.
“My mom gave it to me. It has the number 220 engraved on it, apparently for bravery.”
“Suits you very well then.”
“I was really afraid when I first moved here, you know. I had no idea what I was doing. I thought I’d fallen into defeat.”
You recall your uncertainty when you had left everything you’d ever known in the city, following the heartbeat in the town of Angok.
“Men are not created with defeat in mind. We may fall at times, but we’re never defeated.”
“That’s a good line.”
“I stole it from a book.” He says sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “Wanna know something cool?”
You nodded your head, sitting with your legs crossed on the floor in front of him.
“Your ring has the number 220, right? Well, back in college, I used to play sports. My jersey number was 284.” You don’t know where he’s going with this, but you listen anyway.
“They’re both amicable numbers. The sum of factors of 220 is 284, and the sum of the facts of 284 is 220.” He says with a smile, hands smoothing down your chihuahua’s fur. “These numbers are linked together by some fate, like your ring and my jersey.”
Hyunjin is a quiet surprise, sputtering about amicable numbers and mathematics to you. It’s almost endearing, how he had found something between the two of you and connected it to something he knows.
Your ring and his jersey. Amicable numbers.
There is so much to Hyunjin, so much you still don’t know and want to learn.
“That is pretty cool.” You think back about it in your head, how rare these numbers are, and how they found themselves to the both of you. Maybe knowing Hyunjin has always been written in the stars, and maybe you’ll know him in every lifetime after this one.
At the same time, Hyunjin is grinning to himself. He’d always thought love was far off, but it looks like it’s been in front of him this whole time, smiling back at him. He knows what he’s feeling, this overwhelming warmth, and he knows it’s real now more than ever.
In this moment, there is nothing else but you, him and Kkami and the knowledge that he’s falling in love with you. Right here, right now, all he sees are your eyes and your smile and the way your hands are brushing as you lean down to scratch Kkami’s ears.
Hyunjin feels like his heart is about to burst, and he has to clear his throat and put Kkami down in some poor excuse of needing to get home. He has to before he does something he might regret. The tides of the waves are pulling at him to make a move on you, and he’s afraid he might never make it to shore at the sheer overwhelmingness of his feelings for you. Could it be possible that you made a move instead?
“I think I have to get going now.” He whispers, and you nod your head, moving to stand up when he does. “Thanks for coming to meet Kkami. You should say goodbye to Hyunjin. Say thank you for visiting! Goodbye!”
You move Kkami’s paw to imitate waving.
“Goodbye!” His smile is wide as he bends down to wave back at your dog, taking small steps backwards until he’s by your door.
“I’ll write up a story about the lady we interviewed and send it to you.” You mention, fumbling with the knob to open it for him.
“Sure.” When you don’t make a move to say anything else, he turns his back to start walking away.
“By the way…” Hyunjin immediately turns back around, both hopeful and hesitant at what you have to say to him. His eyes hold yours, waiting for you to continue. “Are you free—“
“Good evening!” Chan’s booming voice interrupts what you were able to say. “Sorry it took me so long. I’m here to help you with the water leakage?”
You’d almost forgotten. You had called Chan earlier this morning to ask if he could help you fix up the issue with your sink.
“No, it’s okay. Hi, good evening.”
“Weren’t you about to say something?” He asks, and you suddenly feel too shy to ask if he wanted to hangout with you soon. The Little Mermaid live action was coming out soon, and you’d been excited to check it out. You thought, maybe it would be fun to watch it with him.
“Ah, it’s nothing.” An unidentifiable emotion flickers in Hyunjin’s features when you suddenly double back on what you were supposed to say—of dejection? You can’t say for sure, especially when a small smile returns to his face and he’s waving goodbye at you one last time.
“Chan, come in.” In your head, you’re still bruising yourself over cowardly backing down from asking Hyunjin to eat dinner with you tomorrow, hopefully with just you two this time.
Your water leakage problem doesn’t take too many steps, but it does need a few tools that only Chan has. When he finishes, you tell him to sit down a little, finding something to offer him for fixing up what had been broken under your sink.
“What’s going on between you and Hyunjin?” It catches you off guard, the unfiltered way he suddenly asks the question with obvious teasing dripping down his tone.
“Nothing.” You say too quickly, shaking your head.
“I was kidding. You don’t have to tell me.”
“Aren’t you gonna pry?” You’re not used to anyone not prying. Back in the city, you barely could keep anything a secret. Always forced. Always fidgety with the way they ask you questions, only to use that information against you later.
“No. As long as you’re happy, and both of you don’t get yourself hurt.”
His considerateness is breathtaking, and it almost has you tearing up the way he treats you better than your own brother. Chan doesn’t need to hug you for you to feel safe, he just has to smile and look at you with his eyes round of warmth.
He feels familiar, like… family. You think this is what family should feel like.
“Thank you, Chan.” You breathe, and he breathes with you. He reminds you he’s only one call away, and your heart feels like it’s being stripped until it’s bare.
This is family. Chan is family.
And Hyunjin quite possibly is love.
nine.
The epiphany you had posed to yourself the night before proved to be almost as difficult as the one you had when you had left the city. Inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it scared you less. Uncertainties often make you feel vulnerable, and what is love but a thread of uncertainties waiting to be untangled?
You can’t focus in your little rented space, the four corners tend to look smaller and smaller when you’ve trapped yourself long enough in your head. It’s terrifying, to feel the walls closing in on you. So, you might as well take Kkami out on a walk where you aren’t encased in liminal space.
The breeze outside is the kind that takes all the weight off your chest, leaving you to start anew in your train of thoughts. When you try to find the beginning of when you had started to see Hyunjin differently, you lose the thread and find yourself empty-handed. No one has told you how difficult it is to tend to the knotted spool of love.
Was it in his kindness which he showed in the smallest ways, barely noticeable but there when you look close enough? He doesn’t smile in large amplified ways, but the way he looks at you with intention leaves such an impact.
Everything he does—on purpose and by choice and intentionally. From the way he constantly checks on you, and the umbrella he had offered, and the patience that never seems to run thin. He smiles and talks to you by choice, and he gets to know your dog intentionally. You’re enamored with the entirety of Hyunjin, with the way he’s passionate about his job, and the gentle way in which he helps those around him whether that’s driving Seungmin to Seoul or treating Jeongin to dinner. He’s beautiful as he listens, as he shows that he will always listen.
It’s a lot to handle, and it’s a huge epiphany to admit to yourself, so you walk without destination. Nature and the beauties of Angok, you find, can take your mind off of anything. Just like that day you had escaped the city.
There are birds singing from the trees, accompanying the wind with their tunes as they whistle. The breeze carries it everywhere, the sound of their whistling, the crashing of the waves bathing the seashore. Had you really existed in a time before you’d known the salt of the ocean breeze and the sun shining the entire village with a glow?
Everything is beautiful here. There’s nothing that isn’t with the flurry of color bursting in the town of Angok, with the gentle chatter of generations of people who live there, with Hyunjin’s back walking a little ahead of you.
“Hyunjin?”
Maybe you don’t really care about the multitude of ways you can unravel the knotted spool. Maybe the only thing that matters is this moment with him, and every other moment with him.
He turns around immediately at the recognition of your voice, lifting a hand up to wave at you before greeting Kkami. You shoot him a smile, speeding up a little to catch up with him as he stands planted on his spot. Kkami runs faster than you do, already barking by Hyunjin’s feet and jumping up to get the boy’s attention.
There is no overthinking in the way he smiles back at you so easily. No thread to think about.
“Hi.” His gaze never falters from yours, even as noises stir around from a distance.
“Hello. I was just walking Kkami.”
“If we’re going the same way, why don’t we walk together?” He offers.
“Okay.”
A heartbeat passes.
“By the way, what are you doing out here? You know… instead of being in the library.” You ask inquisitively, not used to seeing him outside so early in the day.
“Seungmin’s been a bit anxious over the next part of his exams, so I went to buy him some food. It always calms him down.”
It’s only then you realize the bag of food he’s holding, and the sight only melts your heart further.
“You’re a really good friend.”
“I just do good upon others as I wish the same for myself.” How lovely, how he wants to make the world so painfully beautiful that people want to live in it.
“Well, the world isn't as cold and gloomy because of you.” You smile, and Hyunjin can’t help the way his words jumble up in his mouth at the kindness you utter. He’s wordless, all tangled in longing and flustered-ness.
You make him feel like he can hold sunlight in his hands.
“I’ll be going this way now.” A point in the opposite, and Hyunjin can only frown in disappointment of your time cut short.
“Take care.” He says, standing his ground as he watches you and Kkami start to walk away from him.
Static is zipping through the air, louder than ever. Hyunjin’s fiddling with the straps of his pants, contemplating and contemplating and contemplating—
“(Name)!” The sound of your name on Hyunjin’s lips makes your head instantly turn back.
“Yes?”
Hyunjin’s fumbling with everything he’s ever known, eyes falling to his own hands before back to yours.
“By any chance, are you going to have dinner—“ Hyunjin pauses. No, that doesn’t sound right. “I mean, are you busy tonight?”
“I’m not.”
A knowing smile on both your faces.
“Would you like to have dinner with me?”
“I’d like that a lot.”
The thread is long gone.
ten.
Hyunjin has a profound ability of surprising you every time. He’s almost unpredictable in his kindness—showing up when you’re drunk, refilling your plate with meat, and now handing you a bag of dog toys for Kkami.
“I thought he might like this.”
“Oh, thank you.” You take the bag gratefully, smiling at the selection of chew toys inside before looking back up at the boy. “I haven’t gotten him anything nice, so thank you, really.”
“I also have this for you.” He brings out more shyly this time—a necklace beaded in shells. You look down at it, the necklace. No one’s given you anything in a long time. “You always have this look on your face when you look at the beach. So, it just… reminded me of you.”
You lift it up carefully, almost feather-like as you stare at the simple necklace.
“Hyunjin.” The way he’s looking at you is so powerful, yet so vulnerable at the same time, eyes tinging in hope that you’d like the little present he had gotten you. It’s a look you can feel inside. “Thank you.”
He helps you wear it when you attempt to wrap it around your neck yourself. Wordless, you don’t have to say anything as he gently closes it to encase it around your neck.
“Do you like it?” There it is again. That vulnerability.
“I love it.” You smile, hand lifting to fiddle with the necklace. “I’m never taking it off.”
Hyunjin’s eyes soften, features glowing under the streetlights as you finally resume your walk to where you’ll be eating dinner together.
He had called himself out multiple times as he was pondering over whether to buy it for you or not the moment he sees it, telling himself he was too obvious with the way he feels for you, and yet the thought of the sincerity in your face when you receive it overpowers the voice in his head. He finds himself getting it for you. He was always gonna get it for you the moment he saw the necklace.
“Then, do you want some chicken and beer?” Hyunjin asks as you reach a crossroad, multiple intersections splitting the road into separate parts of the village.
“Chicken and beer?”
“Mhm. Last night, I was actually gonna ask if you wanted chicken and beef before Seungmin tagged along.”
“Oh?” You smile at the thought. “That sounds good actually. Wait, let me search a place up.”
You barely even unlock your phone when Hyunjin starts speaking again.
“Well, if we go that way,” he motions to the first intersection. “There’s a really old place that sells amazing fried chicken. And there’s a place down that way where the interior is nice and spacious, but the chicken doesn’t taste as good.”
“And down that way,” he continues, pointing towards the other intersection. “There’s a place with outdoor tables known for its refreshing beer.”
“You’ve really done your research.” You grin, fiddling with the phone in your hands as you look at Hyunjin who has his shyly behind his back after he has finished speaking.
“Yeah.” He exhales, smile still on his face. “Just in case.
Just in case he got enough courage to ask you out is the continuation of his sentence, though he chooses to omit it for now.
“I…” You ponder, recounting the options in your head before forming a number 3 with your fingers. “Choose number three. Beer tends to vary more in taste than chicken.”
“I see.” He nods his head, taking your words in as he thinks about the numerous times fried chicken had tasted the same to him. “Well then, let’s go that way?”
A silver of the moon shines on the two of you as you settle down the table, arriving 10 minutes after you had pondered over your choices at the intersection. The night breeze is pleasant, blowing in between the two of you until your stomachs are full from the food.
“This is so refreshing.” You praise after having taken a chug out of your beer, leaning your head back to savor the taste longer. “Whoever thought of eating chicken and beer together is a genius.”
He listens, hanging on to every single word you say as he takes a bite out of his own piece. The sight has him wondering if you were free tomorrow too.
Similarly, you’re thinking if you should try to invite him to watch Little Mermaid with you again.
“Are you also busy tomorrow?” His sudden question has your cheeks heating up despite the cold of the breeze and the beer.
“Why? Do you wanna see a movie?” It comes out fast, blurted, speeding from your mouth.
“A movie?”
Oh, shit. You didn’t even realize how you’d suddenly sprung up the topic on him without so much as an introduction.
“What I meant was… there’s just this movie I really wanted to see, and I think it’s out in theaters already.” You laugh a little at your own slip up, hoping to have clarified it better.
The sound makes Hyunjin’s smile widen.
“I see.” He takes a sip out of his own beer.
It’s silent for a while. A second blending into a minute, until you decide you can’t take it any longer.”
“Do you want to come with—“
“Should we watch—“
You make eye contact the moment you speak over one another, and it’s enough to trigger the laughter that’s bubbling in your throats at the sheer coincidence of asking each other out at the same time.
“Only if it’s okay with you.” He says once the pair of you stop giggling, tone significantly softer..
Always putting your comfort at the top priority.
“I’d actually really like that.”
It’s all smiles as you pay for your meal, and you don’t quite notice the slow pace in which the two of you are walking home, as if never wanting the moment to end. As if the great sense of contentment is too much to let go of right away.
Your footsteps fall in with Hyunjin’s, and your smiles never leave your faces on the rest of your way home.
eleven.
Hyunjin spends two days in Seoul to accompany Seungmin as he finishes up the final stages of his Civil Licensure exam.
The first day away from the library is spent just at home, cleaning and finishing up on chores you’ve been meaning to do—putting away your clothes after doing laundry, feeding Kkami, sweeping the floors, and even dusting some shelves because of the abundance of free time. It’s therapeutic, the way you’re able to hold your own time and decide what you want to do for the day. In the afternoon, you walk your chihuahua outside, exploring more of Angok than you could’ve dreamed. It’s a beautiful village, and you find you don’t mind the lengthy walk. If it means you get to be with nature leisurely, you don’t have anything to complain about.
There’s so much time for happiness here, unlike the dark of your room in the city.
When you pass by the library the next day to continue mapping out Angok, you’re surprised to see the hunched over figure of Felix by the benches. You wonder what he’s doing here.
“Felix?” You speak cautiously, tentative even as you walk to his side.
The closer you get, the more you hear his sniffles. An alarm sounds in your head, and you immediately reach a hand over to rub his back as gently as possible. “What’s wrong?”
The words he mumbles are unclear, incoherent as they come out jumbled and stuttered. When he finally lifts his head up, the sight physically hurts you. Who could dare hurt the sun?
You move some of his hair out of his face, sitting down next to him. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Instead of answering, he lunges forward, jumping in your arms to seek comfort in your hug. It catches you by surprise, not because you’re uncomfortable, but because it’s only now you realize how long you’ve gone without a hug. You didn’t grow up from an affectionate family, and your time in the city knew of no comfort. This feels far better than pressing your back against your bed.
Snapping from the initial shock, you wrap your arms around him and pull him closer which only seems to let him release a louder sob. It seems he really needed this.
“I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.” His words are deep and choked, head still buried on your shoulder as he soaks up the shirt you’re wearing.
“You could never disappoint anyone.” You run a hand through his hair, the other hand running smooth circles on his back.
You don’t know how long you hold him like this, but after a while, his tears finally subside and he moves to pull away from the embrace. “I’m sorry about your shirt.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” Reaching out, you swipe away the tears on his wet cheeks, smiling softly. You’re relieved when you see him return the gesture. It seems he doesn’t want to talk about what happened, but you find that it’s okay. He likes that you just listen without demanding him to tell you everything.
“Wanna go eat something at Minho’s? My treat.” You whisper, afraid to startle the poor boy, and his eyes seem to brighten at the suggestion.
“Would that really be okay?”
“Of course. Come on.” You walk with him to Minho’s little restaurant, making small conversation about anything he wants to talk about. If it means he’ll forget about whatever hurt him, you appease any topic that spills from his mouth.
“Ah, good afternoon (Name), Felix.” Minho waves when you enter his space, and you wave back at the boy.
He finally knows your name.
The ten minutes it takes to wait for the food is apparently the same time it takes for Jisung and Chan to stumble into the restaurant and greet the two of you loudly. They drop at where you’re seated, adjacent from you and Felix as they ask you questions of how you’re doing and what you two were up to.
You’re keen to stay as Felix’s emotional support, looking at him first before answering the two boys. It seems he feels way better now, in the presence of people he considers home.
“Look what I have.” Jisung brings out another tupperware from his bag, opening it up to reveal some cupcakes his mom had probably baked again. He excitedly takes one for each of you, babbling about how he can’t finish it all himself or else he’ll suffer from high blood pressure. “I’m glad I bumped into you guys. My mom’s been going crazy with the baking.”
“Felix likes baking too, right?” You turn to the boy next to you, and he nods his head as he recalls the conversation you had earlier on the way here.
“I’ve been trying to make some brownies.” He’s proud as he speaks, hands moving animatedly as he explains to them the process. The three of you listen carefully, immediately demanding him to bake some for you guys to which Felix says he will in his free time.
“Jeongin’s on his way.” Chan nudges Jisung who suddenly stands from his seat. He grabs a cupcake from the container, and you think he’s about to give it to the younger boy when suddenly, the icing crashes on the unsuspecting Jeongin’s nose.
“Are you nuts, Jisung?!” He exclaims, peeling the cupcake away from his icing-stained face.
“That’s what you get for rejecting my kisses.” Jisung smirks mischievously, though it’s quickly wiped off when Jeongin swiftly grabs a chunk of the icing and slaps it on the older boy’s cheek.
Minho’s voice is booming as he says, “Hey, don’t get the floors dirty!”, though there seems to be a hint of fondness on his features as he watches everything unfold before him.
“Oh my god.” With a hand covering your mouth, you can’t help the giggles from spewing it as Felix snorts from beside you.
“Come here, let’s wipe it off.” You get up from your seat, guiding Jeongin to the seat next to yours as you grab a pack of tissues from your bag, moving to wipe the smeared icing from his nose, cheeks, and eyes.
“What about me?” Jisung pouts, and Chan all but laughs as he pulls the boy down to start doing the same thing.
“Are you guys okay?” Felix’s voice is way steadier now, more than it was earlier, and it even holds laughter in it. Your heartbeat calms down at knowing he must feel better. At least this moment can take away what pained him, even for a few hours.
“You have a death wish, Han Jisung.”
“Not the government name.”
Though, Jisung only laughs at the threats spilling from Jeongin’s lips, proud of his work.
When Minho brings the food, Jisung successfully pulls him down to eat with all of you. It’s polarizing how you used to hate meal times, used to hate thinking about what to eat, or the fact that you’d be eating alone. Now, with laughter roaring from your table, you find yourself excited.
People are calling out for you to eat.
You spend hours there, listening to their stories. Before you know it, night dawns upon you, and Felix offers to walk you home.
“(Name)?”
“Hm?” You turn your head to look at Felix who’s already looking at you with a smile on his face.
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything, though.” You laugh, and Felix shakes his head as he maintains unwavering eye contact.
“Thanks to you, I feel happier now.” There’s a toothless grin on his face, though, it’s threatening to grow even wider by the second.
He genuinely looks happy.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Felix’s words stay stuck in your mind even as you lay down to sleep. For a brief moment, you were able to make him happier. You don’t think you’ve ever felt more accomplished than this very moment. There are no words to describe how beautiful the feeling is of being the cause of someone’s smile.
The rest of the night is spent thinking, and it’s only when your phone buzzes is it interrupted.
hyunjin (10:48pm): hi, are you asleep? i hope i’m not bothering you
yn (10:49pm): hello! not asleep yet :) you’re not bothering me at all
hyunjin (10:51pm): seungmin’s exams ran longer than i thought
yn (10:51pm): tell him i said hi !!
hyunjin (10:52pm): is texting a bother? do your wrists hurt when you type?
yn (10:52pm): just a little
He calls you suddenly, and it’s enough for your heart to jump straight out of your chest. Pressing the phone to your ear, you finally speak. “Hello?”
“I hope your wrists don’t hurt anymore.” You can hear the mumble of cars honking in the background, but his words tune them out.
“I guess this will do.”
Hyunjin pauses for a moment, allowing himself the moment to soak up the warmth of your voice and how two days is far too long to be away from your sweet voice.
“It’s nice to hear your voice.”
You swallow hard, shutting your eyes as you bring the phone away a little to let out a suppressed scream. You feel like a schoolgirl, kicking your feet and giggling over his words.
Calming yourself down, you reply, “But, don’t you have to sleep now?”
“Hmm, not yet.“
“Well, what do you wanna talk about?”
“Everything. I wanna know everything about you.” He breathes from his end of the line, running a hand through his hair.
You can hear the sincerity from his voice even if you can’t see him.
“Oh.” You murmur. There’s a blush playing on your cheeks. How is he able to make you feel everything all at once?
The conversation lasts almost 2 hours, until he has to let you go so you can sleep before the clock strikes one in the morning. He feels slightly terrible for keeping you up, but he’s selfish in that it doesn’t bother him that much. Hyunjin missed you, missed the lull of your voice, and he’s happy to have heard it before going to sleep.
“I’ll see you tomorrow? For the movie?”
“Okay. See you.”
You can almost see him, open-mouthed smiles as he speaks. It’s always so evident in his voice when he does.
“Goodnight.”
“Sleep well.”
Hyunjin drifts off to sleep, and it’s the best one he’s had since yesterday.
twelve.
You tug at the dress you’re wearing as you wait outside the theater building. It’s a simple sleeveless white dress that goes down just above your knees, yet you’re still a little nervous whether you’re underdressed or overdressed. Your hair is down as it always is, a little messed up from the wind, and you had worn lip gloss after Kkami had barked once when you’d asked him.
It’s a simple theater for a simple date. You’re not even sure if you could call it a date, yet you were both ecstatic to finally watch the movie and to watch it with Hyunjin.
Smoothening down the creases of your dress that aren’t even there, you finally catch sight of Hyunjin from afar. He looks so handsome with his white sweater and denim pants, hair tucked behind his ears as he wears a pretty-boy-but-is-unaware smile.
Aphrodite’s son.
He’s waving at you, cheeks flushed in a warmth you fail to see as you try to suppress your own grin.
His knee-jerking reaction to you is open-mouthed staring, eyes moving from your eyes to your lips to your hair to your dress all in the span of a second.
Hyunjin isn’t as relaxed as he thought he was. He had prepared himself to see you again after two days, prepared to watch a movie with you and possibly brush hands as you reach for the popcorn, though he wasn’t quite prepared for the white dress you’re wearing. His brain short circuits, and he’s malfunctioning.
“Shall we head inside?”
He’s not able to respond right away. You’re pretty, and he’s nervous, and you’re pretty, and his palms are sweating, and you’re pretty, and words are failing him, and you’re pretty, and you’re shifting your weight back and forth, and you’re so pretty.
“(Name).” Hyunjin’s finally able to say. “You look beautiful."
You look up at him and he looks away. You can only blush in response as you thank him, fiddling with the necklace you’re wearing.
“I’m wearing this by the way.” If Hyunjin thought he couldn’t smile even more, he was wrong, especially peering down at the necklace he had gifted you. The one you’re wearing.
It was nearly seven o'clock when you finished watching the movie. You’re still excited over seeing one of your favorite Disney princess’s on the big screen, but you’re starting to feel a little tired.
The crowded bus was too much for the both of you, so you decide to walk back together. Thirty minutes might sound like a long walk, but Hyunjin begs to differ if it meant being separated from you at the end of it.
Thirty minutes is way too short to walk with you.
“The movie was fun.” He breaks the silence, and you nod your head in agreement with a huge smile on your face. You can still picture Ariel in your head, yet what stuck out most to you was the panicked way Hyunjin had been when he first walked in before completely relaxing when he was seated next to you.
“Hyunjin.”
“Yes?”
“You seemed like you’ve never been to a theater before.”
“It is my first time.” He looks down at his feet, a small grin tugging on his lips at how he’ll forever be able to hold the memory of watching a movie for the first time in theaters.
Especially when it was with you.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“That’s amazing.” It comes out as a whisper, genuinely shocked that Hyunjin hadn’t bothered coming into theaters at all. There’s so much to him, and you want to learn them all.
“Why don’t we kill some time by playing 21 questions?”
“Okay.” He replies a little too quickly for his liking. He can’t hide his eagerness at getting to know you and everything about you. Like that phone call last night.
“Okay.” You repeat, smiling while nodding your head as you think of a question to ask. “Hmm, what’s your favorite fruit?”
“Apples are my favorite.”
“Wow, you answered so quickly.” A quiet chuckle escapes his lips at the realization. Though, you should’ve made the connection when he had mentioned apples back when you had offered him some ice cream.
“Mine are strawberries!” You point excitedly at the black crochet bag you always carry with you, a big strawberry in the middle.
“Strawberries.” He keeps in mind, looking back at you as you keep talking, asking him one question after the other.
You are so lovely, Hyunjin thinks. The sort of person puts a smile on everyone’s face when you walk into the room. The way you quietly speak and the humble way in which you treat everyone has Hyunjin thinking that you must be unaware of how much of an impact you actually have on the people around you.
Seungmin is thankful for you, admiring your hard work. Hyunjin has caught him rereading the article you had written multiple times, praise leaving his lips when he thinks no one can hear.
Chan sees you as a little sister, so fond of you in such a short amount of time. He thinks he’d do anything to keep that smile on your face.
Felix thinks of flowers when he sees you.
“Oh, the moon looks so pretty tonight.” You suddenly mention, staring wondrously at the bright moon and the way the stars litter the sky.
“Do you wanna sit down for a moment?”
“Can we?” The excitement in your voice is hard to miss as Hyunjin guides you over to sit on a block situated at the side of the street. It’s the perfect spot, offering you a view of the sea and the pretty night sky.
You close your eyes to listen to the waves crashing clearer, to feel the breeze better, to smell the salty scent of the sea.
Your thoughts drift everywhere; to your escape from the city to the first time you met Hyunjin and the way he hadn’t spoken a single word to you. It’s always been at the back of your head, but you never so much as spared it any time to resurface. Though, now was probably the perfect time to ask him about it.
“Can I ask one more question?”
“Of course.”
“When we first met, why did you not talk to me?”
Hyunjin thinks back at the time, almost letting out a small laugh in embarrassment when he remembers the way he had greeted you with nothing but silence. It was only a matter of time before you’d ask him.
“Actually…” He looks down at his hands, carefully folded on his lap. “I have trouble talking to strangers.”
“Does that mean you feel comfortable around me now?” Oh, his stomach doesn’t feel so great at the way you’re looking at him right now. He has never felt such violent butterflies in his stomach.
“Yeah.” Blink and you miss it, the way his eyes flicker to your lips before frisking them away to stare at the moon instead.
You stretch your legs out, swaying them back and forth as you lull your head back to stare at the vastness of the sky. The waves and your subtle breathing are the only sounds that accompany the stillness with Hyunjin.
How long had that same peace transferred from the library to the boy seated beside you?
This moment feels nice, though, it seems to only be a catalyst at making you realize how real your feelings are. Hyunjin really is starting to feel like love.
He looks at you as you’re too busy staring at the little things nature had sent to keep you two company.
“When I’m with you, it’s nice that I don’t have to talk so much.” You say suddenly.
His eyes never once leave you as you speak, and it only has his heart beating faster when he realizes that the look in your eyes is something so similar to the way he looks at you. It’s the same one he gives you when you don’t notice him looking at you. The stripped back and bare softness he shows even when he doesn’t try to.
“It’s the opposite for me.” He speaks with a smile that he doesn’t even notice has grown brighter and brighter. “When I’m with you, I tend to talk more.”
Lovestruck is the only word to describe the way his words slip out of his mouth, and no level of words can possibly describe the softness in his eyes.
“Ever since I was young, talking to someone… always felt like a burden to me. It’s never felt that way with you.”
The way you’re looking at him only encourages him to speak more—your naturally dusted cheeks, gentleness swimming in your eyes, and the wind blowing through your hair. How can you sit there and be so unaware of how beautiful you are?
“This is a little selfish of me but…” Midway through his sentence, he breathes out a little. As if to help him in saying what’s burning on the tip of his tongue. “I hope you don’t leave.”
You lean forward to hear him better.
“When you first came to the library to make a membership card, when we spent the afternoon repairing books, when I took you home when you were completely wasted… when we had ice cream together on the library bench, when we went to interview the old lady together, and when you let me meet Kkami the night we had dinner together…”
What was happiness before he knew what your smile looked like and what your voice sounds like? Hyunjin’s voice gradually softens with each memory he recounts.
“I was happy. I’m truly happy that you came to Angok.”
There's a stifling silence on the other end, as you process his words.
You never stood a chance. You were gone the moment you had set eyes on him, when you had accidentally caused a small commotion in Angok’s public library. You had signed over your heart the second he had uttered his first words to you—“you’re hello again.”
His eyes flicker from yours down to your lips, and there’s a hitch in your breath as you breathe in. It feels as though your heart could explode at any moment.
Hyunjin reaches out to brush a hand against your cheek, tentative as he draws himself closer to you. His hand is warm against the night breeze, and you find yourself leaning against him unconsciously.
“So I really hope you don’t leave.” He whispers, and you breathe at the overwhelming sincerity.
His eyes drop back down to your lips, face hovering over yours. Almost hesitant. It’s like he’s waiting for you to make a move, waiting for you to show you won’t leave. You push your lips in his, and he’s still for a second, as if unable to believe you’re kissing him at this very moment.
When he’s finally able to recover, he keeps a hand cupped on your cheek while the other travels around your waist. He holds you against him tightly, but his lips couldn’t be any more gentle as they move against yours. It’s soft, unmoving even. Your heart flutters when his lips chase after yours after you pull away for a second to catch your breath, and you’re kissing again.
Again and again and again until all you can think about is him. You had always been afraid of seeing the city in his eyes and feeling it in his lips, but you never did.
His eyes struggle to stay open when you push your foreheads together, finally breaking away from the kiss. There’s a small smile on his mouth, the one he always wears with you, and the look of fondness in his eyes.
“I’m not gonna leave.”
A shooting star spears through the dark. You both wish to stay like this forever.
thirteen.
A few days after your silent confession, Seungmin passes the Civil Licensure exam.
The boy had apparently been trying to hide his success from Hyunjin, yet was unsuccessful when he forgot he had given Hyunjin the log-in credentials to the site when he thought he’d be too nervous to view it himself.
So, you and Hyunjin plan a surprise celebration.
If Seungmin hadn’t been so caught up in trying to hide the secret you had already known about, maybe he would’ve noticed the way Hyunjin disappears from the library sometimes only to reappear, and the way you’ve been on your phone way more often than you normally are.
Getting Seungmin to the rooftop of Chan’s home was easier than you had expected. For someone who asks a lot of questions, Seungmin had simply stared at Hyunjin suspiciously when he had suddenly expressed the urge to watch the night’s constellations at Chan’s roof. Yet, feeling like he owed the boy for driving and staying with him in Seoul, he complies.
The surprise had taken a while to plan, yet everyone was willing to help after hearing the news. Everyone sits on the roof to wait, antsy when they hear Seungmin’s blabbermouth complain about accompanying Seungmin as he gets on the stairs. You all see Hyunjin first, who’s subtly pointing at his back to signal that Seungmin was coming in hot.
When he finally emerges from the steps, all of you jump in a chorus of “Surprise!”
There’s a small tarpaulin with Seungmin’s name and a congratulations tied between two makeshift posts, and the boy hides his face in embarrassment when he spots a poorly photoshopped picture of him on the side of the printed paper.
“It’s nice to celebrate this good news with everyone.” Hyunjin says, and while Seungmin’s continuing to blabber about in mock irritation, all of you know he’s grateful by the way he looks at how the rooftop is decorated in awe. Fairy lights are hung around like additional stars, and everyone has bright smiles on their faces as they all go in to wish the boy their individual congratulations.
“Congratulations on making it to Seoul!” Chan’s voice is booming as he hugs the boy. While Seungmin naturally recoils from any form of skinship, he finds himself returning most of the hugs given to him.
“Make sure you eat a lot.” Minho smiles as he looks proudly at the food he had brought, all set on the table as he prepares to cook some beef to serve as all of you eat.
“Thank you for the food!”
“Is it good?” Minho’s grilling meat on the side, continuing to prepare food as everyone around him eats satisfyingly. Sometimes, Jeongin would get up from his seat to feed Minho a piece to make sure he was eating too.
“It’s so juicy.” Changbin exclaims in pure ecstasy, and Chan can only laugh at his exaggerated response. “Your beef always tastes good, Minho.”
Jeongin’s walking around with a platter of cooked beef to serve for everyone, like he does at Minho’s restaurant. Lovely chatter echoes from the roof, laughter prominent as Jisung is on fire with his jokes. All the while, Seungmin is roasting the poor boy.
“This is the good stuff. Look at the marbling on this meat.” Minho boasts as he sets down the final platter on the table, taking a seat next to Jisung as he finally starts digging in. “Jeongin, come and eat.”
“This is so good.” Your mouth drops after you swallow the piece of beef you had grabbed. Minho just laughs fondly at the praise as he keeps eating.
As your eyes travel around everyone on the table, you can’t help but think of something your mom used to tell you — a home isn't always the house we live in. it's also in the people we choose to surround ourselves with.
Home is the gleeful playing of instruments from Jisung and Changbin, it’s baked in an oven and served fresh as brownies from Felix, it’s grateful smiles from Seungmin, it’s Chan trampled with fondness, it’s the grilled beef Minho is cooking, it’s Kkami barking in happiness as Jeongin plays with him, it’s the hand holding yours and the gentle smile on Hyunjin’s lips as he urges you to eat more.
“Oh, before I forget. I have something for you.” Said boy brings you back to reality, and he pulls out a magazine in his hand, smiling widely as he looks down at it then at you expectantly.
“What is it?” You take it from him, flipping through the pages.
“Youth of Angok. It was released yesterday.”
“No way!” You look for the article you wrote, skimming through the pages before smiling at the photo of the old lady you had taken. “Wait, hold on. Don’t tell me you read it already.”
“No, I haven’t read it yet.” Hyunjin has a fair share of tells when he lies. One of them is in the way he can’t look at you, like the way he’s avoiding your eyes right now. “It was great by the way. You write so well.”
You laugh, giggles blending with Jisung’s music. “Thank you.”
Changbin’s booming voice interrupts all the ongoing conversations, abruptly getting up as he grabs a box he had hidden to the side. “I have a surprise now that we’re all full. Sponsored by Seo’s convenience store, you’re welcome.”
He hands each one of you with sparklers, and it’s absolutely beautiful when he lights them up and pushes everyone to get up and dance to Jisung’s guitar accompaniment as the fireworks glow from everyone’s hold. Like everyone is capable of holding fire in their hands.
Music from your childhood plays in your head, the same one you never thought you’d hear again as Hyunjin tugs on your hand to pull you to where everyone is dancing, a sparkler on the hand that isn’t intertwined together.
“This is so pretty!” Felix exclaims, waving it around as the lights spring out of the stick in his hand. Jeongin’s carrying Kkami now, dancing with him in his arms.
“I’ve never done this before.” Felix looks to you with so much happiness radiating off of him, dancing around as he stares at his sparkler fireworks.
“Me neither.” You reply with the same excitement, looking to see Hyunjin already looking at you with a smile on his face. Pure, unadulterated happiness.
You thought about what happiness is.
You’ve looked it up in a dictionary once—it is a state of being pleased, fulfilled, and content in life. You think that definition is too long.
Happiness. The state of being sufficient.
Happiness. This moment right now.
Hyunjin’s arm snakes around you, pulling you closer to him as the wind flows between all of you, whisking your hair and ruffling your clothes up as happy singing falls in your ears.
“Hi.” He whispers, caressing your waist. It makes goosebumps erupt, and you know what he’s about to do as he presses a short kiss on your lips.
Sometimes, there doesn’t have to be thunderstorms. There’s no need for the sticky swarm of office workers, or the silence of dinners. You don’t have to think of the city. Sometimes, love is tucked away in a little town you least expect to find it. Sometimes, there is time to make happiness. And sometimes, family can be regained.
Your life is sufficient.
You’ll live this life.
#k-labels#stray kids x reader#stray kids fluff#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x you#hwang hyunjin fic#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin fluff#hwang hyunjin#skz hyunjin#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin fluff#stray kids x you#stray kids au#stray kids oneshot#stray kids imagines#stray kids fic#hwang hyunjin long fic#stray kids hyunjin#skz fanfic#skz x you#skz x reader#stray kids scenarios#skz fluff#skz imagines
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Prompt from @help-i-need-a-cool-username
Danny was tired of his neighbor’s bullshit. Above his head rested the well known crime lord of crime alley, Red Hood. Now, Danny used to be a vigilante, he gets it, truly, but that did not mean he forgave the other for the sheer amount of wake up calls he’s gotten. He knew he was a light sleeper, has been ever since the portal opened and since the portal was shut down by yours truly, but the amount of noise was still unacceptable. Did the guy not know he lived right below him? He knew that the building was in a rough patch, but it wasn’t deserted. He wasn’t the only one here ya’ know. By now the halfa had had enough. He had a class at 9 am tomorrow in literal physics. He needed sleep if he didn’t want to pass out in the lecture that he 100% needed for the midterms in 2 weeks. He would have gone up and complained in person if he wasn’t, you know, on the run. So he sat in his bed, grabbed earbuds, played one of his sad playlists and tried his best to sleep.
.
.
.
That was it, Danny was going to actually kill the Red Hood. Here Danny is, minding his own business, writing a paper for the English class he had to take for extra credits, and in storms 5 men kicking down his door with all sorts of weapons. They were in all black with hoods and bandanas covering the bottom half of their faces.
“Where’s Red Hood? We know he lives here!”
The half had had enough. Here he was, on page 2 of a 5 page paper, while on 9 shots of espresso and 3 energy drinks to make up for the lack of sleep he got last night because of the same very guy this gang is looking for. He was going to strangle this man, hands down, screw the GIW.
“I’m literally a college student trying to live off of a minimum wage salary, if all of us could be crime lords and afford an apartment without a day job, we’d all do it.”
“Where is the Red Hood?!”
The guy in the middle had yelled before pointing a gun right at Danny’s head. He sighed before standing and putting his hands above his head.
“I don’t know. He’s not here, and I don’t even think he lives in the building.”
He didn’t know why he was covering for his neighbor's ass, but he already had one foot in, so why not the rest of him?
“Don’t bullshit me! We know he lives here!”
“Are you sure it was this building, and not the one across the alley?”
Dany inched closer as the main guy looked over at the goon next to him and started arguing. By the time they looked up, Danny was right in front of the gun, merely inches away from the barrel now pointed at his chest.
“Boo.”
His eyes glowed a vibrant neon green before the lights turned off leaving the apartment in pitch black.
.
.
.
Red Hood cursed as he realized how careless he’d been. One of his men had informed him that they received a warning from one of their informants. Apparently, there was a new gang on the rise with the sole purpose of taking him down. Somehow they’d followed him to his apartment one night and were staging an attack right now. Luckily, it didn’t seem like they knew his civilian identity, but he didn’t know that for sure. Plus, if they broke in and he wasn’t there, he didn’t want to know what they’d do to the others inhabiting the complex.
It took him about two minutes to get there using his bike. He scaled the side of the building and got in through his window only to find his apartment exactly as he left it. Had his men lied to him? Or had the gang just not arrived yet?
Well, that’s what he thought before he heard gunshots below his feet. He scrambled down the stairs and ran to the apartment below him, taking out his gun and slowly walking towards the door. It was dead silent. It seemed that the last noise to leave the place was that one stray bullet, since then not a sound.
Hood cursed under his breath before turning the corner and moving the broken door out the way. Inside was a pile of 5 men in all black knocked unconscious with a man sitting on top of them criss crossed holding a bat with a green sticker on it in one hand while the other typed on the open laptop sitting in his lap. The vigilante didn’t even move. He lowered his gun to the floor and just stared at the scene at hand. Eventually the man looked up at him with ashy blue eyes and a tired look about them. He sighed before closing the laptop and resting his chin on the small end of the bat.
“Dude, it’s 3 am. Can you please tell your enemies to stick to acceptable invasion hours?”
Hood didn’t even know what to say. He just stood there at the door, even clocked his head sideways in confusion. The other sighed.
“I have a class at 7 am tomorrow and this paper is due like yesterday, so can you just, I don’t know? Schedule this shit? Or at least make sure they have the right apartment. I didn’t complain about the noise before, but this is ridiculous.”
Yeah, Jason couldn’t believe his eyes or ears right now. Was this man serious? He cleared his throat before finally speaking.
“Right… sorry about that? I guess? I’ll take them off your hands. No promises about the schedule though. I can’t exactly control when people try to kill me.”
He stepped forward only for the other to raise the bat at him threateningly. He still sat on the 5 men, and still was pretty far away from Hood, so why he raised the bat he didn’t know.
“Do you want them in your house or not?”
“I want you to stay right there and pay for the bullet holes in my walls.”
“You just said-”
“Oh, I know, but you agreed so readily I’m testing the waters.”
What the fuck was up with this guy, seriously.
“You know I have a gun right? I could shoot you”
“Well so did they, and look where that ended them. Gunless and knocked out.”
Touche, Jason wanted to say, but didn’t. One of the men on the ground started to move and groan, his neighbor, without breaking eye contact with him, spun the bat in his hand and hit the man dead center on the head, knocking him out once more.
Was Jason attracted to this? Maybe.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dc x dp au#danny phantom#danny fenton#jason todd#danny just wanted to finish his homework#jason todd didnt know he was gay#danny proceeded to accidentally become hoods guard dog cus hood refused to move away from danger twink#jason leaves fruit baskets#jason repairs his walls dw#danny tried to sue - jason said no#danny is a glorified glow stick#the fenton anti-creep stick shows itself once again
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Capítulo 4
- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)
Marta is hot in business mode. I get why people would be afraid of her, or maybe not afraid, that is a bit of a strong word for it, but she is intimidating. She’s just a fucking bulldozer of cutting to the chase and her standards are so insanely high. It’s hot though, maybe not healthy, for her or for me, but still hot. Unapproachable, that’s it. I get why Fina is reluctant to approach her, to ask her about the position at the store and not just because of the underlying repressed crush. No, there are so many walls around Marta I'd probably feel bad about looking in her direction for too long.
Them looking at Marta - yeah.
Claudia is a religious dachshund puppy. Not particularly bright, stupid tiny legs but undeniably cute. I get soft in the heart watching Fina cheer her on as she takes steps outside of her sheltered bubble. Unfortunate steps in a most misguided direction, but still, how was Fina to know all the straight women in her life are fools when it comes to men.
Honestly Petra is deeply unsympathetic. I am not just saying this because of hindsight, but she isn’t very nice. Fina, what the hell do you see in her? I mean, she is pretty enough and close enough of a Marta copy that you could mistake the two, if you forgot your glasses, have a concussion and were in a damn hurry. But honestly?
I’ll give Petra credit for picking up on Fina’s obvious gayness though, but damn she is one cruel bitch for playing her with such calculated determination. Because that is definitely what she’s doing, there’s no accidental in her behaviour, it is cold, calculated and cruel. Hedging her bets and using Fina’s sexuality as a weapon against her. Fuck I hate this little fucker. Also, Fina, just find a nice secluded place and have a...- snickers, you're not you when you're hungry. Then wash your hands and go about your business, without including Petra in it.
I really am surprised at how secondary Marta is in the beginning. But it fits with the story I know they want to be telling, she’s a cardboard cut out of the person she expects herself to be, flat and lifeless. She’s an ideal, not really a human being at this point. Both in the eyes of those around her, but I think probably in her own eyes too. She is only propriety, there is nothing left for a personality (for now). And it makes sense that they want to begin by telling Fina’s story to build the foundation for what’s to come. It still kind of hurts though, because I've had time to fall in love with all this character can be, so to see her so restrained and so...lightless - hurts, man. It hurts.
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I wrote this in response to this post about Adam Shapiro but I didn't wanna hijack OP's post as I was replying to @freedelusionshere comment anyway so i'll put it here instead.
I agree the way Shapiro's character has been presented seems suspicious. Like a lot of things on this show it's portrayed subtly and indirectly but purposefully.
It's interesting to me that Syd had no idea who he was even after she stopped to look at him, until he said his name and she recognized it as a chef from Ever. But he knew who she was and seemed to know enough details about her role at The Bear to ask her to do an almost identical job for him the next time they met. How did he know she was capable of all that?
All the articles we've seen about in the show don't mention Syd, they don't credit her with helping to build the restaurant or even mention that Carmy is partnered with another chef. As far as we know her work isn't being publicly acknowledged and nobody outside of the staff and Emmanuel (and possibly Claire) know how much Syd's done there, so how does Shapiro seem to be aware of details you don't just pick up eating at a restaurant "under the radar" one time?
Richie worked at Ever for a week in S2 but he wasn't exactly Syd's biggest fan then so if he did talk about her I doubt he made her role at The Bear sound like a good thing or said positive things about the changes she'd made to make Shapiro want to poach her.
Shapiro said he ate at The Bear with friends, maybe one of them told him. But again, how do they know? The show makes it seem like Syd's full role at The Bear isn't public knowledge. Especially not the kind of details Shapiro seemed aware of.
Syd told a couple of chefs Carmy's her partner in S2 and judging by the lack of Syd mentions in the articles, I'd imagine they're probably thinking "I told you so" right now...but this does seem like the most plausible way he could know. It's still a flimsy connection imo bc the show has given us no other outside acknowledgement for Syd's work at The Bear. No other chef mentioned it or congratulated her in 3x10, even Chef Terry who congratulated Carmy then partied with Syd at her apartment didn't mention it to her. I assumed Luca would have an idea through Marcus or Carmy but he didn't say anything about it either and there was plenty of opportunity in their conversation. Shapiro is the only other chef who's congratulated her or mentioned it.
Knowing this doesn't necessarily make him a bad person, maybe he just noticed the negative environment of The Bear and decided to offer Syd an opportunity but it does make you wonder how he knows so much and no one else seems to. Maybe the show just does a bad job at portraying that it's public knowledge but judging by their usual level of attention to detail in storytelling, I don't think that's the case.
I guess Shapiro could know other chefs Syd's worked with in the past but getting info from them then approaching Syd the way he did without mentioning that is also just weird. And how would he know she can single handedly build a restaurant from scratch to the point of giving her complete creative control?
If it was sudden for Carmy to offer Syd such a big role in building his dream restaurant after months of working together in S1, it's very strange for Shapiro to offer Syd an almost identical offer but even better, after only meeting her twice.
Plus he says he doesn't want it to be "a gross poaching" but what else do you call asking someone who's already trying to build a restaurant with a chef he personally knows to basically abandon that project to come build his business full time instead? A decent person with good intentions would've spoken to Carmy and Syd together or at least gave Carmy a heads up that he planned to offer his CDC an opportunity to work for him instead. And Shapiro made that offer hard to refuse, even Syd knew it seemed too good to be true. That in itself is such a shady thing to do.
The definition of poaching in business: "Poaching is when an employer actively approaches, or 'head hunts', someone who is already employed by, or working at, another organisation, as opposed to advertising a vacancy and going through a usual recruitment process." [Source]
Shapiro can dress it up all he wants, poaching is the literal definition of what he's doing and the way he's gone about it is "gross" bc it's not like Carmy is a stranger to him, Syd was a stranger though.
His character has been subtly presented as someone who shouldn't be trusted imo. Kinda like Claire in S2. There seems to be no reason to dislike them on the surface but if you look beneath the surface there are plenty of reasons, too many to be a coincidence. Maybe Shapiro's not a good guy or maybe it's deliberate misdirection, either way I think he's been presented as a slightly suspicious character on purpose.
#adam shapiro#the bear fx#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto#sydcarmy#the bear meta#sydcarmy meta#long post
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Writing for Millie should be hella easy
Stereotypes and cliches can work.
Right infront of us we have a tought southern farm girl, already a half written character. Millie's family, the first full family we meet, who don't even get to say much were actually crucial for her character building, they're a big family who are set in their ways, they're loving but not supportive of Millie's choices in a very passive aggressive way.
All these episodes later, these points are barely touched upon.
We would learn the Millie likes attention, she enjoyed playing a character who was the coolest person on the scene who could show off
which makes sense if you look at her rowdy upbringing, which could also explains why she is giddy at Moxxie's grand gestures and adoration of her.
Yet why did she have to play a role and take herself out of her usual setting in order to enjoy herself? This made sense for Moxxie who's sensibilities and hesitations aren't heard and is constantly frustrated, but why give Millie a similar storyline (not the first time a couples stories were awkwardly and disproportionately merged)? Having moved far from her family, having a supply of attention on tap from her biggest fan of a husband, working with a coworker she gets along fine with Loona and Mille worked together just fine when Blitzø and Moxxie got snatched, there were no differences between them, they actually appear to have hardly engaged with eachother?
and a boss who she's on excellent terms with in their small company, a boss who's intrusive ways she sees no issues with
which could also go back to having a big, noisy, busy body family who are slack with respect and boundaries something many people can relate to, why exactly did she need this moment in the spotlight?
Perhaps she's phased by being friendless?
Loona is
I she even friendless? Who knows. Her relations don't matter outside being a plot device, she even got sidelined in her families episode several times because it served to introduce Striker and show how much of an outsider Moxxie is.
On the topic of relations
Why do Millie and Moxxie have the same ex?
Why did neither of them know this?
What difference did it make?
Why such hostility?
No reason, nothing matters, none and ?
An ex would have been yet another person needed to give her some content but it would have been character building none the less.
Where did they meet and what would have been the mutual setting that lead to this guy being in both their lives then them coming together?
Has Millie had a life away from the farm as a single woman or did she leave home for Chaz? So many possibilities. Being that she is the stereotype rough and tumble country girl, she could have consciously decided to go to the city to hang about in places where those supposedly unlike her are so that she could stand out and be appreciated without having to compete with anyone. She would have her own thing going on and this would be a good way to meet hipster Chaz and thespian Moxxie.
Of course, Millie could have shown up one day and met Moxxie on the job.
Blitzø and Moxxie being the buddy cop type lead characters is fine, it's clearly the dynamic that's intended and on the few occasions we see them working together this is what we get.
The lack of characters doing the jobs we are told they do is an issue that affects all characters.
Being a side character should offer a load of flexibility, not having to carry the story offers room to be busy doing irrelevant stuff, or serve as a voice of reason or scepticism to help move the plot forward, side characters can wrap up side plots writers can't be bothered with, but side characters being ignored serves nothing.
There have been shows that have a leader and their more competent sidekick who quietly does the work and never shares in the credit.
This could work for Mille, however dispite her lack of content, she is not the quiet sidekick. We are sold a praised and admired bruiser whose performance isn't up for criticism, someone not always clued up when faced with a challenge but that's fine, challenges are rare and she's someone we have no reason to believe is a pushover, she is also someone happy to have more of a say but also fine with how things are. OK, what next?
Neutral.
Why not commit and tone her up?
Play on that country bumpkin casting. So far Millie is the fun and violent scrapper which fits but this role is also totally appropriate, someone is going to fill it, other than that she's, just there, with no say.
In and out of work, why not have her behaviour be socially neurotic, inappropriate, possessive and apathetic?
Why doesn't she stand up for Moxxie more? Is the casual workplace bullying something she's used to, comparable to the regular fun mockery that circulates throughout the family home/town banter etc? Is she used to not being heard? Growing up not having her own things, having to answer to someone, ignorance, comparassion and lack of personal space could result in someone who doesn't like being challenged or ignored, doesn't like a lack of control but has been sheltered enough to not take consequences too seriously? Anything goes after all.
It works for Blitzø, whose modest and tragic past, isolation, guilt and loneliness has lead to a sympathetic, overbearing and desperate hustler
I actually think Millie's character is fine but is she just a decent side character who is only 'fine' because she's underutilised? I'm not sure?
#helluva boss critical#helluva boss critique#helluva boss millie#missed opportunity#helluva boss blitzo#helluva boss chaz#helluva boss moxxie
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WXS CYBER AU (my takes on it)
feel free to use these au ideas with credit! (if you decide to please tag me i’d love to see)
SHIBUYA, TOKYO | CYBER UTOPIA - 20XX. shibuya, tokyo, for the most part, has remained one of the most bustling and important parts of society as a whole. it’s many products, businesses, and overall heavy advancement in technology have made it a staple in the world, especially those looking for business partners. it’s technology has absolutely exceeded many, turning it into a cyber utopia.
though, what hides is the corruption underneath all of this cool tech and beautiful cityscape. crime is a regular, mostly by rogues who want to fight against businesses, who have turned creativity and art into nothing but a huge money making scheme. the higher ups always consider rogues as criminals, as they would prefer siding with the people who would give them money.
rogues for the most part, spread around their creativity without the form of payment, without needing to think of it as a cash grab. also engaging in fights and crime for the sake of defending art over fame. rogues typically act late at night, since ordinary folks are typically distracted by the cityscape and flashy products being shoved right into their faces. while they fight, they do have good intentions. merely wanting to put a stop to cash and fame grabbing scenes, and return to art being a form of expression.
companies released these power hungry robots to combat rogues. selling them in mass, disguising them as “protectors.” it’s gotten to a point where these robots have taken over a huge portion of shibuya, and it’s starting to become a major problem to the cityscape.
KAMISHIRO RUI
a vigilante who works alone in the shadows, though also once a well known figure in local parts. thanks to his past of showing off the inventions he made.
in his youth, his inventions were ADORED. absolutely loved by people, and that made him happy and all that. he wanted to keep making more such things since it’s something he really likes doing
though as he got older, he noticed people trying to buy his inventions off of him, saying how he’ll make it big and that he won’t ever need to worry about living his life the way he does anymore. and it gets consistent too. like, REALLY consistent these offers, when rui’s just really trying to enjoy making inventions for enjoyment and artistry. he doesn’t ever want to see his inventions as products that can be sold.
it starts infuriating rui since he thinks that these rich companies just want to get his inventions in their hands to make a quick buck, and it gets him really pissy and shit. so he stops showing off his works, keeping it private and only showcasing it to people he trusts. only works he does show off publicly are the ones he uses when it comes to combat, like his drones.
rui wants to find others like him. others who have seen through the minds of these other companies who are supposed to focus on art, not actually doing so and instead using it as a way to go viral and get money. he is a firm believer in using art to express, not to sell. he’s typically either working on inventions or out fighting, though alone most of the time. occasionally going out to combat with nene, a childhood friend of his. also since she’s really the only person he knows now that he still trusts a lot (prior to meeting emukasa)
TENMA TSUKASA
a well known rogue, at least around other rogues. he keeps himself undercover when not in public, but he goes full out flashy when engaging in combat. tenma tsukasa style and all that idk. he buys his tech, especially his combat ones, from other rogues, mostly to help them out. also to put it to good use. when it comes to being out in the city, he’s mostly hidden. watching over the cityscape overtop buildings and planning, or walking about scramble crossing. he really can’t deny that despite the amount of advertisements being shoved everywhere, all the lights do make up for a beautiful looking area.
tsukasa was often seen doing play battles as a kid, especially with little abandoned robots he had found laying around in parks or other public spots. taking them home to keep playing with them. his little friends that kept him entertained while his sister, saki, was in the hospital. he gave some of these robots to her so she could also have someone with her. tsukasa often prioritized going whenever his parents gave him the opportunity, doing anything with those little robots to make her happy. tsukasa then started going out more as he got older, starting to see rogues doing their thing. he believed it was one of the most amazing things he ever saw, and agreeing fully on their motives. he remembered saki talking to him once about them before, but never would’ve have believed he would see some in action. he wanted to do just that to make saki happy. once he was of age, he became a rogue himself. though forgetting his original motive, wanting to climb ranks, he moved up extremely quickly. now being one of the top rogues out there. both to his amazing ability handling tech and physical combat, his lack of identity in public too.
he met rui while taking down some robots. his ass was getting whooped by some robots, but rui found him, going in and dealing them off. tsukasa thanks rui for the saving and decides to ask him about his inventions, mostly since they caught his eye. something he’s never seen before. after rui explained to tsukasa that he made all of them all on his own, tsukasa was immediately taken back and impressed. he offered rui to join him, in which he was first denied. mostly since rui still had trust issues at that moment. eventually the pair kept running into each other, until finally rui gave in, seeing what this “oh so great tsukasa” truly had potential for. proving to be a great partner in combat.
KUSANAGI NENE
a not so active rogue, mostly spending her time in arcades. either for fun or for tournaments. though she does manage to get herself to go out whenever rui decides to ask her to. while she doesn’t go out as much as rui at all, she certainly knows her stuff. especially with robo-nene, a robot rui made specifically for her as a friend. also so that way she had someone to play games with. nene over time requested features for robo-nene, and now she often uses her as some sort of side kick when fighting other robots. thanks to robo-nene’s analyzing, it allows nene to act fast and prove to be a very strong opponent, whether it be human or AI she’s fighting.
she typically avoided being flashy and showy, mostly since she didn’t want to bring any attention towards her. mostly for safety reasons. she prefers keeping herself much more secluded, especially since it makes everything easier. it’s been like that since she was little, only exception being when she was with rui. often being shy and not really talking to people. she started fighting after rui introduced her to it, seeing it as a good way to bond with rui again after growing a little distant. often going on little side missions just to keep her busy, though she did eventually find enjoyment out of it. often thinking about it like playing a game. where the objective was to destroy as many robots as possible. she and rui complemented each other really well with each other’s fighting styles, the pair always working well the few times they fought together. though for the most part she fought alone with just robo-nene.
it was through combat where she tsukasa, seeing him do his thing. at first she felt second-hand embarrassment at how extra tsukasa was acting when talking about himself, at least before seeing him whoop ass. she couldn’t help but be impressed, then deciding to occasionally watch him fight. until eventually he noticed her, introducing himself and inviting her to join him. she decides to, occasionally fighting with tsukasa now as well. nene decides it’s best not to tell rui about him yet, just to be safe. besides, rui would eventually catch a guy like him anyways, considering how easy that man would be to spot. she met emu in an arcade tournament. watching her talk to one of the players about plans. then occasionally running into each other in rogue safe spaces. she came to grew an appreciation towards her after seeing her contributions towards rogues, despite not even being one at all.
OTORI EMU
her family owns OTORECH, one of THE most largest businesses in shibuya. they sell out a whole bunch of devices in mass, ones that supposedly are supposed to make things easier for people. emu, being an otori, knows what goes on behind the scenes. she often overheard her brothers and father discussing their sales, and how they only keep trying to come up with more products to make even more. emu believes the money her family makes could go out to other people rather than blowing it on even more products, but her proposals never end up getting to her family.
what emu does instead is give insight for rogues. she delivers information about OTORECH and other companies they have partnered with, mostly to allow them to plan ahead of time which areas they need to deal with in terms of savage robots. she never asks for anything in exchange, other than the ability to either watch or help fight said robots. rogues have come to respect her a lot, always looking forward to what she has to bring. in turn she also keeps the rogue’s plans as secrets, that way they won’t be caught. enjoying delaying some of her brother’s plans so rogues could do what they need to do much quicker. she’s very skilled in using weapons way larger than her size, carrying them with ease and also using them to beat down robots. always wanting to go on combat missions solely because of how much she enjoys them. she’s hoping that one day she can be the one running her father’s business, that way she can put a stop to all the unbelievably pricey items her dad and her brothers decided to put out.
tsukasa was the one that introduced emu to rui. nene had already known her for a bit from the few times she encountered her at the arcade or at some vacant places with robots, but it was her first time meeting rui. emu was quick to like rui’s presence, not really hearing much about lone vigilantes, let alone ones with all of their gadgets being self-made. also trying to see behind rui’s serious exterior. she and tsukasa both then decide to take rui out to fight. eventually nene joins as well, the four of them forming their own small coalition with one another. each using their own unique skill sets to take down robots much easier, for the sake of bringing back art in its purest form.
#project sekai#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#prsk fa#prsk#prsk au#cyber au#wxs rui#kamishiro rui#rui kamishiro#wxs tsukasa#tenma tsukasa#tsukasa tenma#wxs fanart#wxs emu#otori emu#emu otori#wxs nene#kusanagi nene#nene kusanagi#wxs cyber au
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I have a request (if you're still taking them) fem!reader x Jesse Pinkman fluff hcs, I love your writing so much 😍😍
Jesse Pinkman x Fem!Reader Headcanons
- Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in requests -
Masterlist Navigation
• Straight away you can see how sweet Jesse is towards you, and he genuinely keeps this up for the entire relationship no matter how long. He isn’t given many personal chances in life, so the fact that you’ve taken a chance on him means that he wants to give you as much appreciation as he can.
• When you stay over at his place, or the other way around, he always tries to make you a decent breakfast or goes out pretty early so you have something to eat when you wake up. It’s one of the only reasons he gets out of bed, and if you drag him back into bed with you after eating you can expect him to happing stay there for many hours.
• Jesse follows you around when you’re shopping like a child. He’s pushing the trolley for you while you walk ahead and help him figure out how to actually buy proper meals and what he might need to make them. He isn’t really listening though, he’s in his own little bubble which means he’s watching you and just being happy that you’ve gone out with him to do this.
• Jesse would hardly ever forget an event such as your birthday or anniversary since they mean so much to him and he wants to show how much effort he puts into dedication towards you. He’s more so the kind of person to put a lot of effort and be overly prepared and then forget everything on the day because of how much build up there’s been until he sees what he’s done for you in the morning.
• Jesse doesn’t need long term commitment since he’s used to not having long relationships, but when he’s finally in a long term relationship with you he can clearly see what he’s been missing out on. He can’t image you ever leaving him, and if you ever do he probably wouldn’t know what to do anymore and would spiral.
• Jesse doesn’t need to go out partying to have a good time with you. Usually he wants to be along with you, especially when he’s been busy, so you’ll have a nice meal together and watch some movies you’ve been meaning to catch up on together as a way of having a nice night.
• Jesse is constantly doing little favours for you before you even need to ask him to, and some of them aren’t even that small. He’ll gladly go out of his way to buy something across town for you or will take you places. He’ll even help you with anything you could ever think of without ever needing to be asked.
• There are some things about Jesse that he makes you swear to not tell anyone, but these things only make him more adorable. Things like how cuddly he is, or the things you two do together while goofing around would seriously embarrass him if you told them to anyone he knew.
#jesse pinkman#jesse pinkman x reader#jesse pinkman x you#jesse pinkman x y/n#jesse pinkman headcanons#breaking bad#breaking bad x reader#breaking bad x y/n#breaking bad x you#breaking bad headcanons
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Mornings in the shared Talon space is.. ineteresting, to say the least. The only one in good spirits is Sigma. On the days he is allowed to roam under supervision, the doctor often hums a tune as he prepares his morning coffee. The pot of coffee is nothing special, but it draws everyone into the kitchenette. He always greets you with a smile and a greeting in his native language. Perhaps the doctor would share one of his findings or hypotheses, such as how ants could supposably build buildings as complex as humans do if given caffeine. It was never boring around him, at least.
Sombra often shares pleasantries with Sigma and whoever else is in the room, including you. Often sharing some gossip of an interesting search she found in a particular cowboys search history and share a laugh. As she retrieves her cup of coffee, she waves goodbye, off to go hack government secrets, or gain more credit information for personal use.
But some aren't so friendly, Moira and Reaper are just as cold as each other. Moira would retrieve her own cup, nodding to Sigma before leaving in a rush. Not bothering to look in your direction unless she needs you to do something for her. And Reaper.. well, he would walk into the kitchenette, then promptly leave without another word. Definitely not a morning person, let alone someone who would want to sit and chat in the first place.
Doomfist are always civil, having the decency to chat for a while. Nodding along, disinterested to whatever Sigma spoke about while sipping on his morning coffee. Doomfist would share the current missions for anyone in the room to be updated on, but also keeping in mind it was still early. Once the cup is empty, he wishes you a good day before departing. A busy man doesn't have time to sit and chat more than he should.
Widowmaker.. well, you just don't see her. She has her own schedule, her own routine. People like her work alone, and spiders are solitary creatures. But if you are in her good graces, she would recommend a high-end little coffee shop near the base. If you go, you might catch a glimpse of her, but that's all you see.
Mauga is the only true morning person, always raring to go. Each day is a new day to have fun. In fact, the enthusiasm can be annoying. For a day with a long boring mission ahead, his cocky smile and constant bragging can get old fast. But things aren't all too had around him. If protein shakes are up your alley, he would always make more to share.
In general, morning with your Talon co-workers aren't too terrible. As long as you do your job, everyone can have some common ground of respect, and for some, that's all you could really want. Being in their bad graces would surely be the end for your job, your mornings, and your life.
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Bossa Nova (Benny 'Borracho' Magalon x f!reader) - Eleven
Ten
Summary: You've made a decision.
Word count: 7.544.
Warnings: Cursing, talks about police work corruption, irresponsible use of alcohol, people being idiots and work-related situations. If I forgot something, sorry :/
Author’s Note: I remember that I said that there would be some fake dating stuff and there will, but not right now. I'm working on chapter 12 already, so it was a small change of plans but not a change of path.
I'll try to update on AO3 as soon as I can! Sorry for any mispelling mistakes as well; always safe to remind that English isn't my first language.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤
****
The Los Angeles Sheriff's Department has just completed an operation that arrested a ring of robberies in luxury properties last Saturday. Police-grade weapons, special clothing and technological equipment that facilitate the breach of property security systems were seized.
You closed the fridge and stared at the 7-Eleven television curiously, a bottle of sparkling water in hand.
One of the gang's most notorious victims is technology entrepreneur Theo Park, who was in the house at the time of the incident and was attacked by the robbers.
“To bad things that come to good. If I hadn't been there, maybe they would have gotten away with it and not left enough evidence to get caught. I’m very grateful for LASD's dedication to solving this case.”
Theodore had once said that he appeared on an experimental college TV show and, after that day, he decided he would lose some weight so he wouldn't look so bloated on screen. He seemed to have learned his lesson; despite reporters shoving microphones in his face, he looked flawless.
“It's amazing how the rich get justice so fast, right?”
You blinked a few times and turned to the cashier, who was also watching the TV. You neither agreed nor disagreed; you approached the counter, placed the bottle on top and fished out a pack of licorice candies, which you also slid towards him.
“You work there, don't you? At LASD?”
Because he would know, right? Of all the other thousand times you went there and bought the same thing, without fail, and the other times you were looking for some alcohol after work. You would open your wallet and every time your badge would come into view. It wasn't really a badge, you wanted to argue as you held out the credit card to him and looked up, but you didn't know if it would make any difference to say that.
“Mm-hm,” You answered and he nodded.
“Huh. I don't doubt that your boss didn't carry this Park guy on his lap.”
Again, you didn't respond. Outside, in the parking space very close to your car, there was a pickup truck with a nice Confederate Flag sticker and the owner had entered the store a little before you, so you didn't want to take any chances. The cashier swiped your card and handed you a bag with the things you bought. You thanked him, wished him a good day and he told you the same.
You sat on the curb for about twenty minutes on the block before your building. You took out a piece of licorice candy and chewed it leisurely, observing the movement of the early hours of the morning and mentally calculating that you should soon get in, take a shower and remind yourself that you would be late for work, that there was something else you should do before going there. Yes, the work, the same one that would be buzzing with excitement at the conclusion of a case with so much repercussion, and that would remind you enough of things that you were willing not to remember.
Well, you should expect that; should learn to let it go.
Still, you thought about what you could do strategically: you would get in late, people would be already minding their own business, so you could get in easily.
It wasn't like Theodore was going to give up on the climb to become a popular person in the city alongside the most popular people in the world.
****
You had your eyes closed, face to the ceiling, hitting the back of your head on the elevator wall. Before you could hear the doors close, you heard voices getting closer to the point where they were inside the space with you; when you opened your eyes and lowered your head, you saw Nick, Benny, and Connors walking in.
They paid attention to you for half a second and looked away; Benny had a look that lasted longer, one that made you run your hand over the back of your head and stare at the ground.
“Hearing?”
The question made you snap your eyes up again, spotting O’Brien eyeing you curiously.
“... No,” You shook your head, forcing a small smile. “Got something to deal with this morning.”
“Mm,” He hummed. “Something important, eh?”
You didn’t know why you did it, but you swiped your eyes to Benny for a split second and spotted him pinching the bridge of his nose with a discreet sigh. When you turned back to Nick, nodded a little – a deep breath to not say the first thing that passed through your mind.
“It was.”
But there was a weird, sticky atmosphere. Connor’s hair was wet, they all smelled like shower – probably had a long night out, arriving that late at the station. You could tell, from the way Murph would be looking at anything but you, that there was an attempt to access you, a curiosity to know how you would react to the recent news, or to be in the elevator with them when everything was pretty much fresh in everyone’s minds.
The doors opened, like a breath of air along that tension. It was your floor. You shared a small nod with them, walked to the corridor… then stopped, turning to them and held the doors from closing.
“I-” You cleared your throat. “Congratulations on the case. You guys-” You looked at Benny again, saw him frowning at you, which made you frown back. “You did a great job.”
“Thanks,” Connors said when the silence stretched and no one, not even Nick, said a thing. It was weird to verbalize, weird to touch. Whatever confused expressions were splayed on their faces, it certainly was splayed on your face as well.
You nodded a little, feeling rubbish and robotic at the same time, and then you let your arm go, standing like an idiot in front of the closing elevator doors and giving all of them one last look.
****
Of course Big Nick or Connors would notice, but no one felt like verbalizing it. Untouched territory, like a silent agreement, that it wasn’t their business to poke through your drama with your ex. Maybe that was why Benny felt so weird with time, so invasive towards you even if he knew he was right – you were still someone who happened to be in Park’s life, there was no denying it.
They were on about three hours of sleep – hungover. They managed to hold off on the scoop until the morning, at least until the paperwork was signed; Benny remembered that they handed in the papers and Z had already found the girls to celebrate. Well, celebrate was a strong word. Benny went and enjoyed it, but little; he was home around 3, took a while to fall asleep and had a late morning. Nick needed a ride because he slept in the hotel room, so the two went back and found Connors in the parking lot.
It was strange. Benny spent days talking and listening to his ex's testimony, checking information about him, going deeper and pretending he didn't know anything when Z mentioned that the guy had graduated from Caltech, as if Benny didn't research for that already. And Theodore, fuck, he was an ass, but an ass still trying to be nice. He was polite, but his phrases and his words were a touch harsh, bordering impatience. He would look at him, then at Connors or Henderson or Nick, do an once over, put a tight smile on his face – like trying to fit in way-too-small shoes because it was pretty.
Benny saw that your face wasn't happy, and even if it was, there wasn't a sense of genuine relief in you. It wasn't like you didn't want the case to be solved, but it seemed like you were already fed up and wanted to take a band-aid off at once. Congratulate on the case, smile, leave. Don't give them a chance to ask anything, disguise it.
When the case was closed and they happily went to Theodore’s penthouse to give him the news, he said he would give them something, like a bonus for the Department or other things they might have wanted – you know, to compensate. Benny told him that they couldn’t accept because it would be categorized as a bribe, but then Theodore looked at him like he grew a pair of extra ears on his head like an alien, as if that even made sense.
After a while, he wondered if Theodore was confused because he thought with common sense about LASD or if it was because you, who was already married when you became official there, told him things about the Department's relations.
Still, when they arrived that morning, Theodore had delivered a breakfast basket to them – one that was already somewhat cold, but intact.
If it were up to Benny alone, it would continue like this until the end of the day, and the next day after that.
****
He called.
It was a new number, one you didn’t recognize, but you were already expecting calls from unknown places. You picked up, excused yourself from the chat you were having with Lennon about some material he delivered, went to the corridor – you said it was important, family matter.
For a few seconds after your ‘hello?’, no one said a thing. It was so quiet that you wondered if it was one of those marketing bots or something, so much so that you had already taken the phone out of your ear to put an end to the call. Before you could do it, though, a voice cracked up on the other end, and you stopped dead in your tracks, a big frown on your face as you recognized who it was.
“... Hello?”
And you still had the phone away from your ear, staring at the screen in confusion, and when he insisted one more time you just blinked a few times, looked around and took a few steps deeper into a less crowded area.
“Yes?” You asked, voice low and discreet, the phone slightly pressed against your ear as if someone could hear him, as if it was shameful to speak with him in the first place.
“Oh, hi,” He said. “I… Erm… Am I interrupting something?”
“... I’m working…?”
“No, yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally, I could’ve imagined, I… Sorry.”
You felt a tone of impatience, at the same time that you felt irritated with yourself for wanting to ask how he was, how he felt. You could see that calling you was impulsive, Theodore only got nervous like that in situations without any planning or with too much planning.
Fuck, yeah, you were mad with yourself – you shouldn’t get attached to whatever you used to know about him.
“Can I help you with something?” You asked instead, pinching the bridge of your nose and squeezing your eyes shut for a second.
He got quiet on the other end, sighing and ruffling through what seemed to be like papers or whatever. You looked around again, just to be sure, and felt that pinch of irritation growing.
“Theo-”
“I thought you had changed your number, so I didn't think you would answer,” He excused with a small voice, one that silenced you. “Now I don't know exactly what I wanted to talk about.”
“Maybe you better think about it quickly, I have to get back to work.”
Another sigh.
“... You went to the hospital that day. Aile-I was told you went there,” The mention of the occasion made you throw your head back in frustration and suppress a groan. “And that you got hurt.”
It was your turn to stay quiet, unsure of what to say. Your hand was good, better; it wasn't that serious of a burn and, in general, you would have a few months of recovery for the mark to disappear. Still, you unconsciously flexed your fingers, remembered Aileen's face when the coffee spilled on you.
“... So what?”
“So what? Hell, you could’ve sent me the bill or whatever.”
“I could?”
“Well, yes.”
“So you called to offer me money for my injured hand?”
He was growing frustrated – you expected him to. You could sense him gritting his teeth, clenching his jaw.
“... You went there, maybe you wanted to know how I am.”
“And how are you?”
“Good.”
“Okay.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you good?”
“I’m fine.”
“Your hand is okay?”
“You don’t need to pay me for my hand.”
“I don’t want to, I just want to know if your hand is okay. Technically, it’s on me that it got burned.”
“Oh, so that’s the secret for a good relationship? Taking responsibility for your partner’s faults?”
“That’s not-” He paused, huffed. There was a noise you could hear, like a chair cracking, and then the sound of steps on a wooden floor. “I’m not with her anymore. Although I’m probably taking that responsibility, it wasn’t me who threw coffee at you.”
You blinked dumbly at that, staring at the floor without a single reaction to process what he just said to you. It should be simple: he’s not with her, you could’ve supposed it would happen, that has nothing to do with you. But Theodore told you that, let it hang in the air, waited to see what you would do.
“... All in all, I just want to know if you need anything… That’s on me. The least I can do is pay for the hospital bill that I know was expensive as fuck. They call themselves Samaritans but they fucking rob people.”
You needed to suppress a laugh or a giggle or any indication that what he said was slightly funny. For what felt like an eternity, you just kept looking at the floor, then at your own feet, squirming to prevent any insistent feeling to bubble inside of you with the prospect of him realizing that Aileen wasn’t the best for him, or just him being let down.
Not that you expected him to be humbled by it, but still – you could dream.
“... I don’t need anything. Thanks for asking, though,” You offered, voice more calm and genuine.
“Okay,” He took a deep breath. “Listen, I know you’re out of this almost death experience transformation or some shit, but it was nice of you to come by. Despite everything, you still checked on me and… Well, I won’t forget that.”
You considered him for a while.
“Maybe you should.”
“Should what?”
“Forget that.”
“Why?”
And that was that tone, that… subtle implication. You knew what he was doing – what he was fucking implying. He used to do that when he flirted with you, when you two were doing some dirty talk in bed, when he was trying to get inside your pants. It wasn’t that good in high school, but the experience he probably gathered in college made him bold, confident; that shit worked.
So when he asked ‘why?’ with that low, teasing underlining, you wanted to punch him in the face.
“Because you should. Because I’m your ex. Because it brought me problems. Because it will make you put words in my mouth and meanings to my actions that are absurd.”
“Absurd like you still caring about me?”
“Yeah, exactly like that.”
Theodore went quiet, probably nodding to himself.
“I need to go now,” You pressed. “And don’t surprise me pulling up some shit like you still having my number and calling.”
“It isn’t some shit. I’m just thankful,” That almost sounded too false, but it just made you feel like it was really forceful. “In debt, too. I know it sounds crazy but whatever you need anything, I-”
“I’ll hang up.”
You did. Right away, at the snap of a finger – out. If he still needed to say something or add or keep up with that bullshit, you really didn’t want to know. You hung up on him, left him mouth agape or whatever, then stared at your black phone screen with that same ugly frown you had when you noticed it was him.
Your head was starting to hurt, you could feel the sting deep inside. After almost two years – two years – and the bastard called right when his little girlfriend dumped him. You deserved this, didn't you? Surely that time you stole parking cones or vomited on the college lawn wasn't going to go unpunished.
Because you were always so nice to everyone, always following the rules. Motherfucker. Cocksucker. Bitch. Cunt. Jerk. Asshole.
“You good?” Lennon had a puzzled expression on his face, watching you fuming and huffing while entering the lab again.
You threw your phone on your desk, sighed tiredly at him. Good news, Theodore is alive. Bad news, Theodore is alive.
“Yeah, just some stuff. Don’t worry about it.”
But maybe Lennon should – he should worry, should give you some clarification, should fuck you again. Thing was: he couldn’t do any of it. He was an amazing friend, one with his own worries and responsibilities, and he wasn’t your mentor to give you advice. And yeah, maybe you hinted something to him, and then he turned you down by saying he was seeing someone – that guy from the 15B, remember? – and he liked them, so you could get your shit together and let him be, feeling bad for not remembering whoever this person was.
So you got angry and worried alone – you got pissed alone. You went to the bathroom, saw yourself in the mirror, and felt like punching yourself in the face. And for what? For answering an unknown call? For listening to Theodore? For feeling that bad after Isla’s case? For, fuck, asking how Theodore was? For wanting to…
Fuck, wanting what?
You looked at your head again. A large scar was forming there, one that was uncomfortable. It wasn't that bad, nor that destructive, but looking at it was a reminder of how you shouldn't be so nice to the wrong people. What did that bring you, anyway? Turn the other cheek and listen to your ex tease you about it?
You clenched your fist and placed it against the marble of the sink for a while, eyes closed.
It wasn’t him; no, it fucking wasn’t. It shouldn’t be.
It was on you. You, you, you. Fucking you.
****
“... And, you know, he’s kind of a bitch so-”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Which is why I wondered if there was the slightest chance of you knowing anything about it.”
“Mm-hm.”
“So… do you?”
“... Mm.”
The laptop screen began to lower against your will, so that before you could take your hand off the mousepad, the edge reached your fingertips and it hurt. You hissed, but before you could complain, your brother shoved the thing away to the other side of your kitchen table.
“Hey!”
“Did you hear what the fuck I said?”
The pain dissipated at the same time as you looked at his face with a frown -- he was irritated. If you were honest, and there was no reason to be any other way, you would say that in fact no, you didn't hear what he said. You hadn't been listening to what people were saying since Theodore's call, because suddenly you were in a hurry and needed to get away, anxious to put your mind together around the fact that he was still having this effect on you.
“... No, I didn’t,” You sighed in defeat, relaxing your face to a defeated expression and leaning back in your chair, eyes lowering to the table. “What was it?”
“Theodore is on a new project with-”
“Be briefer. Maybe if you didn't go around so much, I-”
“He spoke to you.”
You went from defeated to tense. Honestly, and that was as far as you could go with that wake-up call, you wouldn't have thought that Theodore would make a big deal out of that phone call: it was one of the reasons you felt bad about reacting so intensely to it, in fact, because he didn’t give you the same importance as you did and that was pathetic.
Your face gave away the answer your brother needed, but he didn't hold on to his anger for long; with another sigh just like yours, he sat down in front of you and ran a hand through his hair worriedly.
“Just don’t tell me you’re reconsidering.”
“... Reconsidering?” You asked, and it took you a beat to get what he meant. When you did, you raised your eyebrows. “Do I sell myself for so little?”
“You do. You answered the phone.”
Fair.
“I didn’t know it was him. I was expecting another call from-”
“From Linda Ricci.”
Okay, now this conversation was starting to get weird because you were sure you would hear if he mentioned that name first. You hadn't told people that you were considering, at least in a healthy way, the possibility of leaving LASD. God, you were still coming to terms with the idea of doing this. But suddenly your brother knew the name of the person you spoke to, what you were thinking about doing, and that left you a little scared. He didn't give in, however.
“He told me,” He added. “Which is crazy, because I’m sure you didn’t tell him that if you didn’t tell me or anyone else about it.”
It sounded like an accusation, which could be also something fair because as far as he was your brother, you honestly didn’t put up with the intimate details of your relationship with Theodore. He cheated, you two split – that was all he needed to know, alongside with legal terms of your prenuptial contract. It was the kind of thing that made someone resentful, but his brother never blinked more than twice at his personal life, so perhaps the possibility of Theodore being the messenger of such intimate news of his life after so long was frustrating; between a cheating ex-husband and a negligent brother, who would be the first to know the good news about your life?
“... Can you not tell dad? Or mom?” You tried with an easy demeanor, even if your tone was clipped. He was ready to open his mouth to deny, though, so you rushed to add. “I didn’t even tell my boss yet!”
“And when are you planning to do that? When we all get worried sick about your well being in that fucking job?”
You took a deep breath, leaned back in the chair. The email was open – the answer was there. You saw it.
You glanced at the closed laptop, then at him.
“Soon.”
****
“Is it because of what happened?”
Byrne was definitely not a very sensitive guy, much less an emotional one, but the question seemed to have a natural compassion background like seeing a puppy at an adoption fair. You had asked for the first few minutes of his shift to talk about the subject, at zero hour when no one would arrive for a while, and you sat in front of him with a serious expression.
The question didn't make you change that, actually; you raised your eyebrows and sighed, but it was more like a spontaneous reaction to a subject you didn't want to talk about than an explicit denial.
“Depends on what we're talking about,” You threw the ball at him, who narrowed his eyes at you.
“... About the DEA case,” He said after a while, leaning back on his chair. “The recent events wouldn’t give you time to recalculate like that. Tell me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like a well-thought decision, one you wouldn’t make out of spite.”
“That’s a good observation.”
“Not as good as the one you’ll tell me.”
Then you smiled – a bitter, large grin. You measured his reactions with caution, licking your lips and reconsidering what to say. After a beat, you arched an eyebrow and averted your gaze to your hands, both of it splayed out over your thighs.
“... I'm not a very virtuous person, Doctor, and I like to believe I'm not a moralist. Despite this, I have never given anyone reason to doubt my integrity as a professional,” You raised your eyes at him. “Maybe, at some point, but nothing that time wouldn't prove otherwise.”
“You talk about your alliance with Major Crimes.”
Alliance. You needed to prevent a snort at that.
“My partnership, yes,” The correction made him retrieve a little. “And, look, I understand how things work. I'm not an idiot and much less indifferent to them, but I think there comes a time when they stop being just things and start putting you on the main stage.”
For a moment, as soon as you closed your mouth, you remembered Emma, just as you remembered Walsh and his pitiful speech to the cameras. That made you frown.
“You, doctor, are here because the Department's credibility went to waste after what happened. People have always questioned LASD's methodology, but what happened was much greater than common sense about what we do.”
“Are you talking about Emma?”
“I’m talking about being put in the hot seat for sabotaging the case.”
He shut down again, this time considering your stern tone with more caution. You already left her with a cracked friendship, you wouldn’t want it to be worse than it was.
“... You didn’t, I assume.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“But you know I could work it out. I'm not Emma, but it's no secret that Major Crimes doesn't have much room for imposition with me here.”
Which was quite funny to think about, but you did as he did and just took it as it was – a single comment. You nodded, averted your gaze again.
“Not only that, but I appreciate your consideration. Rest assured that, despite everything, they should have the right to speculate. Maybe it was my innocence that I thought I didn't have the tendency to go over anyone to gain an advantage, especially people I've worked with for so long.”
Not that that would actually solve it, but you also didn't want to repeat Emma's attitude and put yourself as someone who was harming someone else's work, even if Nick and company had a lot of capacity to do that on their own. You thought about it. You thought about Benny. He could also harm you with what happened at the hospital, he could make conversations with Byrne less cordial and make Nick push you away even more, to the point of making the murmurs even worse than they already were.
So you said something else to put him at ease.
“It's not Major Crimes that's going to get me out of LASD. Everything that happened and happens makes me sure that I got out of LASD myself.”
****
Gina got the news with a frown, but her hug said that she was proud.
Lennon smiled, placed a small kiss on your forehead – just don’t become a stranger, he said.
Your departure was silent: no parties, no goodbyes and, please, no speeches. Despite all your years at LASD, leaving in an atmosphere of so much falsehood would be worse than dealing with more personal problems mixing with professional ones.
So no one in the lab other than Gina, Lennon and Byrne knew. From what you heard, Cillian would break the news as soon as he found someone else, and two days later he informed you that that other person had already been found. Efficient and fast, just how he liked everything to be.
You considered talking with Nick in the meantime – considered apologizing to Benny, like, properly. But every time you grabbed the phone and dialed their number, every time you thought about texting but saw the flirting stuff Benny used to send you or clipped orders O’Brien sent over, you would chicken out.
You just didn't want drama.
****
Byrne was fucking dramatic, the kind who was probably a theater kid in school before deciding to be a scientist. He had been probing the work of Major Crimes since he had set foot in the LASD, so each and every interaction came with a passive tone that bordered on rudeness, but always hovering with unharmonized friendliness.
It wasn't like Emma – with Emma there was a flow, a rhythm. She and Nick had known each other for a long time, it was just different. Byrne was ruthless, regimented, too close to an OCD diagnosis, and two feet on the spectrum of control obsession. He didn't like them and had made that clear from the beginning; for him, the defeat of Major Crimes was a personal gain, which could be reasonable, since no one there made much of a point of being pleasant.
That day, however, Cillian was radiant, smiling. He asked for permission to enter the office and had both hands in his pants pockets, almost bouncing in tune with what seemed to have been a great weekend.
It should have been – for him, of course. He practically hummed the news, or sort of purred like a cat.
“I received very ecstatic news that our lab partner is leaving us,” He said, looking at Nick and only Nick, wanting to have every single drop of reaction or bother or anything. “She received a particularly undeniable opportunity at Ricci & Co.”
Benny was sure you didn't use the term 'irrefutable'. He just knew that you weren't that definitive about things, or that at least you wouldn't talk to Cillian that way. In any case, it seemed certain that it was a good thing financially and professionally speaking: they already had the opportunity to scratch Ricci & Co. when they worked on an old case. Family business, the kind that wasn't limited to university newspapers like Theodore Park and with big, New York glass doors.
It was an immediate rational thought, one he only processed with more consideration when he saw Henderson exchanging a confused look with him.
“Since when?” Connors asked with a clipped tone.
“Hiring processes at Ricci last, I don't know, thirty days?”
“You know that's not what he asked,” Nick pressed, which made Cillian hide a smile behind a satisfied sigh.
“She gave us two weeks' notice and made sure to finish as many ongoing cases as possible. Today is her last day.”
Benny remembered what happened at the hospital, made mental notes of any sign you might have given as if the whole situation wasn't already a big enough warning. He remembered your tired, defeated expression, your slumped shoulders; you looked sick, apathetic. Then he went over Isla's case, the conversation in your kitchen, your look of fragility at his rejection.
Your defeated stance with Walsh humiliating you in front of everyone, your lost look when he made you sit in a room to solve the problem. Maybe he didn't know that these little things were pushing you out of LASD, that every frustration or disappointment or tiredness was draining you enough to make your decision.
“I see that everyone is very upset, which was expected, so I made a point of letting them know and avoiding gossip or side conversations. I believe there is a lot to think about, especially because this is a personal gain for her but an almost irreparable loss for the Department.”
“You know, Byrne, this is a good chance to stop beating around the bush and be direct with what you want to say.”
“Well, Detective O'Brien, I think everyone here is smart enough to know what I'm talking about. Please be aware that as much as I would have made a point of cutting even our toilet paper budget to match the offer she received, I should have warned you that I am not willing to sacrifice the sanity of my employees for what appears to be a whim of yours.”
Everyone was quiet, expectant – Nick was being called out by a guy who knew shit and, as far as they all knew what kind of thing O’Brien would say, his silence made a wave of shock wash through all of them.
“She was kind enough to say that it wasn't because of you, but I've been watching her movements for some time. No day off to photograph a crime scene that wasn't in her jurisdiction, small bribes with dinners, requests for preferences in evaluating evidence… This isn't exactly professional. A good reason for someone with decency to reconsider, though.”
“You know this agreement always had two sides.”
“Yeah, but only one of them was self-aware of it and clearly the wrong one made the right decision. Should I tell you which side you are on or are we on the same page here?”
It was an exaggeration – at least it seemed like one – but deep down Benny knew it wasn't. In fact, it wasn't like a feeling, just an obvious awareness, the kind that everyone knew about but didn't talk about openly. Big Nick was no longer in the sheriff's good graces. Major Crimes received a portion of annual investment that didn't come that year, and since the last meeting with superiors, Nick wasn't very satisfied with the way things were going. It was off. Odd.
If it was the case of what they did that influenced you to leave, it might sound very absurd but it wasn't impossible, even if Magalon firmly believed that you wouldn't give in for so little.
Byrne wanted the excuse to give Nick a hard time – unfortunately he wasn’t totally wrong about it too.
When he left without a word, using the silence as a way of having the last bit of speech, there was a swagger on his steps, like a weight leaving his shoulders. He knew for sure that was how you saw them all, how you accessed them: full of themselves, always without a worry in the world because they could handle it.
Nick threw a stapler on the panel near his desk, muttered a small ‘fuck’. Tony could even be the one to be at least pleased about it, but no one felt like sharing their opinions on the subject.
There wasn’t a worry about you leaving – it was about how it wasn’t something O’Brien couldn’t control.
****
The idea was a drama-free exit and you knew that Gina and Lennon would be able to comply with your wishes with as much effort as they could. When Cillian let everyone know at the weekly meeting, you got a few hugs and handshakes, but everyone there knew you well enough to be cordial up until that point. You were even relieved. Apprehensive, but relieved. Everyone said so many good things about Ricci & Co., Ballard even showed up at your lab during the day and told you that 'this technology thing was cool', that it 'suited you'.
He was nice. Warmed your heart with the gesture.
Lennon arrived there towards the end of the day and handed you an envelope. As no one had time to buy you a gift as they were busy because they just didn't know you were leaving, some people from the lab raised a donation and gave you around 450 bucks.
“You didn't have to do that.”
“It wasn’t my idea. Rob from IT always had a small crush on you.”
That made you smile and almost made you cry.
And maybe your last day at LASD would turn out perfectly fine if it were like that, if you only said goodbye to people with silly, happy memories, so that you could miss it a little while you were tied up in the good parts of working there.
Looking back, you should have been more insistent about saying no. Not because it sounded like a bad idea from the beginning, no, but mainly because you knew how nights like that could end and you should be just a little less carefree just in case. Lennon invited you for some drinks – Gina too. Took you, what? An hour? And then what was supposed to be only a small gathering with only the three of you turned into a ‘remember when we got our asses busted for going to that bar?’ and before you could decline, the three of you were smashed in the backseat of an Uber to meet some Gina’s friends at that same bar.
It was like the old days, the trio fresh out of college, excited from the perspective of being in LASD, all excitement and fervor to be your best versions. Theodore wasn’t with you when that happened – he went to get you from the bar, yes, but if he was there in the first place, you wouldn’t be that drunk or have that much fun.
And you had enough fun. You weren't very drunk, but you had that buzz, that feeling of excitement and anxiety; for a while, you managed to forget your apprehension about saying goodbye to LASD, about taking a direction in a place where you didn't know anyone. For a while, only. With dancing, beers, a shot or two like the cops used to do. With music too, voice high and hands moving in the air.
You would certainly need to deal with your relationship with alcohol after that. That was something for tomorrow, however, or the day after tomorrow, or next week or next month. Fuck Theodore. Fuck him and his fake concern and his phone call and his fucking money. You didn't need any of that. Look at you: a young spirit, hot, single, with friends, having fun. He didn't have that. He would spend his life licking the balls of rich people to invest just a little of their time in him, humiliating himself for crumbs to grow in life… And you wouldn't. Nooooo, not you. You would be great. She would be a fucking analytical security manager for mansions up and down the Coast, earn your money and be respected. That's what you were going to do. And no thanks to that mediocre piece of shit. No thanks to Walsh or your work for even more pathetic and idiotic detective messes.
You were almost a wreck, but okay: your reflection in the mirror was more inviting than you thought it would be. Gina was already vomiting, one of her friends holding her hair as those tequila shots took effect. You watched the scene in your reflection for a while, then heard your friend turn to you and say that it was late, that it was better to leave. You nodded. You turned to the sink, turned the tap on, watched the water drowning your palms in.
She got Gina on one side and you on the other. This was your chance to leave too. Yes, you've already had your relaxation, you've had fun, and you could go and rest. But then you glanced in the wrong direction at the wrong time and spotted Benny a few tables away with Connors and Henderson.
You looked around – Lennon was distracted, probably didn’t even notice them. You had this… frown on your face, this… sense of inadequacy. Should that be your second chance to say something? Because, well, it didn’t take long to admit the coincidence.
Benny turned slightly amidst laughter and the two of you held each other's gaze for a while. The laugh turned into a smile that turned into a grin, that turned into a straight line, then a frown. You felt embarrassed, called out, caught out. Suddenly you were too sticky, too uncomfortable, ready to run away.
Gina slipped through your arm when her friend announced she would take her. You stood still, watching them both stumble out of the bar with a lowered gaze. Flexing your fingers, you forced a big smile on your face when Lennon came jumping up and down, offering you another shot of tequila.
They would leave, you decided. They would leave and you would be able to relax. You didn’t owe them a thing.
****
You were sitting in the gutter nursing a can of Coca-Cola that was already hot. Lennon had already left sometime around one, and it was reckless of you to let him go alone with another guy, but before you could worry anymore, he sent you a photo in the mirror of his own house. Damn, you could be closer to Gina's friends, they were really good people.
You should have gone with her, even, and not stood there saying that you were fine, that you would order an Uber and go home alone. Firstly, you were clearly not well. The drink had gone bad, you were drunk and everyone obviously knew it was the stupidest thing in the world.
Still, you sat there, watched the streets fading into blurs of light and dark. Another peak at your phone and the driver was 15 minutes away, taking turns, expecting you to cancel the ride. It wasn’t like you were going to throw up in his car or whatever – you just wanted to go home.
“Seems warm.”
His voice made you grunt, bowing your head down in defeat. When you looked up, he was standing right beside you, both hands inside his jacket pockets while he eyed your hunched figure.
“Because it is,” You grumbled, taking another stubborn sip. “Borderlining my sobriety, so… cheers.”
“Yeah, I think we can agree that you have a conflicted relationship with alcohol.”
“Calling me an alcoholic?” You frowned, to which he just shrugged. He raised his eyes to observe the street surrounding you two, nonchalant as ever, and after a beat of silence you just scoffed to do the same. “Too bad you saw it too late, I guess.”
“What? You think I wouldn't fuck an alcoholic?”
“I’m not-You know what, eat shit, Magalon.”
But he didn't go. Damn, he wasn't. He remained there, moving the sole of his boot on the concrete here and there, sighing as you held your head with both hands. After a few minutes, your cell phone buzzed: the driver canceled.
“Lemme guess-”
“Why are you still here?”
“I have a tolerance for the number of bodies to find in one night,” He arched an eyebrow, tilting his head to you. “Just imagine if the first thing I see in the early hours of my morning is a reckless drunk girl who took an Uber at 2 am.”
“Right, okay. Got it.”
“Yeah, so.”
“But I’m good. I’ll find-”
“Another Uber to go back home?”
You glared at him, then made an effort to get up from your seat and feel the whole world spinning in your head. That almost got you on the floor again – you lost your balance for a second, got up too fast.
“You know what,” You raised both hands in the air. “I’m done. I’m totally done. Say what you mean or leave me for you to find me dead in the morning.”
Benny shook his head, taking in your state with what seemed like frustration.
“I don’t remember you being so annoying. Last time you drank a little too much-”
“We kissed. I know the lore, Magalon, I was there. But we are not gonna kiss now, if that’s what you’re intending to.”
“I don’t wanna kiss you right now.”
“Good.”
“But I want to take you home.”
It could be the alcohol. Well, there was a good chance it was alcohol. Anyway, when he said that in such a genuine way, with a more accessible and light tone of voice, as if he was comforting you, you felt your eyes water and an almost uncontrollable urge to cry. He noticed it too, noticed the way you wavered, blinked hard a few times and stayed curiously quiet.
You averted your gaze to the side and sniffed with a dry nose, doing a hard job to keep the tears at bay.
“Do I look like I need to be saved by you? Like, all the time?”
He didn’t walk closer, didn’t try to bring any kind of physical comfort – Benny shrugged, kept it cool. When you looked at him again, he wasn’t giving you anything but a straight face.
“At this point in time, you could say it's just a coincidence that we're in the same place when you screw up. And luckily, of course, I'm not such an asshole that I'd let you go off on your own.”
And then he said something that made you waver even more.
“I like you. In a very stupid way, but I admire you as a person and as a professional. The difference between then and now is that you're hitting the goalposts for a longer time because you're too stubborn to understand that it's not always your responsibility.”
That would make you really cry, but you didn't, opting to swallow dryly while locking your jaw so that your lower lip wouldn't tremble and you wouldn't falter. He was too good at it, it was even annoying. You didn't see Nick or Tony having that same kind of ability to read people, even though it was naturally intrinsic to the anatomy of a good detective.
The cold night breeze hit you, making you shiver and flinch a little. He then took a single step closer, pointing at his own car down the street.
“Home. Let’s go?”
****
No pressure tags:
@cheesybadgers
@thoroughlymodernminutia
@seaweeden
@thesandbeneathmytoes
@eclecticfashionbookszipper
@servenas-inner-fangirl
@mysoulisasunflower
@dizzybee03
#benny borracho magalon x reader#benny magalon x reader#benny borracho magalon#benny magalon fic#den of thieves fic#den of thieves#maurice compte#female reader
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blood can be painted over.
(i am very much going to talk about the downward spiral, disappearance, and suicide of the person who inspired my career, sooooooooooo it goes below the cut **TW TW TW**)
if you asked a room full of architects how they arrived at this field, you might be as annoyed as i am by the answers. generally, people in this profession have lived wildly different lives from mine: they knew it's what they always wanted to do. they loved building with legos as a kid (as if that has anything to do with the actuality of it). their father was an engineer (/subtext, nepotism.) etc.
i attribute my arrival to a woman who's name was cathy.
i asked myself why i was thinking about her this morning, and i suppose it's because it was around this time of year that she disappeared.
i've talked about my childhood from time to time on here. the abridged is my mom went crazy, left my dad, and moved us like thousands of miles from everyone she knew - when i was very young. and because i was so young, i don't know how she even met cathy, but cathy was the closest thing to family that i knew for years. i think of her in a way similar, i assume, to the way most of you would regard an aunt. she worked with my mom sometimes - when my mom had her own business. cathy often babysat my youngest sibling. she took care of us. not just the kids, she took care of my mom, too. she was my mom's best friend - her only companion on the other side of the complete uprooting of her entire life.
i can hear her voice singing about the way the bamboo knocks against the house as the wind dances through - to try to get my sister to stop crying.
the only details i know about cathy's early life are the dark ones: she was from nebraska, raised religious, and at some point her father held her entire family hostage, at gunpoint, in their family home, for days. and eventually he shot himself in front of them. she ended up in seattle, really doubling down on the religion shit. a spinster, an interior designer in the 90s art scene.
cathy spent the later part of her life making the world beautiful in small ways, through interior design work, and thoughtful organization of interior space. you never would've known she carried that past. the room got lighter when she walked into it. i do not have a single memory where i can see her frowning.
she was gifted at design, had an eye for it. but in retrospect, it makes a lot of sense: wanting to constantly think about how the world can be beautiful, when you know, intimately, how fucking ugly it gets? of course that was where her energy went.
that's what i think about the most now. design as an endless coping mechanism.
blood can be painted over.
the memory of the life, the blood, draining from your father, in front of you, in the living room? it can be painted over.
if you asked her what color to paint it over with, cathy would start to hand you paint swatches.
it was back in my NYC days. my mom called me to tell me that cathy drove up to the mountain pass in a t-shirt in the dead of winter and ran out of gas. she was starting to wander, go on long aimless drives without preparing for them. she told my mom that the devil talked to her at night. she told my mom that her cat died, and she knew she needed to deal with it, but she put the body in a box and slept with it under her bed night after night because she couldn't face parting ways.
and then she went missing. i thought about going home but what was i going to do? look for her myself?
i don't know all the details. my mom is a weird filter to receive information through. they found her after a few days - on a beach somewhere along the puget sound. at first they thought she'd been murdered - there was a strange trail of credit card purchases. i cannot tell you what it felt like to think that she'd been murdered. somehow, it eventually being labeled suicide was kinder. it was the same as with the mountain pass. she'd wandered, unprepared. she treated herself to a meal at a fancy seaside restaurant, and then she sat down on the beach and stared out at the water until the elements claimed her. (my mother is an incredibly clinical and cold woman. when she talks about it, she mostly talks about how dying of exposure is not painful. you're cold until you're not. she must say this to comfort herself? she talks about the details, but not what they mean. cathy was suffering. so much so that she let herself die.)
that phonecall, where my mother was pretending to comfort me as a way to comfort herself, used to be what i thought about the most. if you have to go, what a pretty death? the water, the mountains. what an easy death?
you're cold, until you're not. it's more than so many people are given.
it wasn't violent. she simply ignored circumstance until it consumed her.
i learned grief. the things that media, society, told me would follow when losing someone so important?
they did not follow. i unlearned them.
cathy was estranged from her family. she had no children. she had made no arrangements for any of this. there was no funeral. she left no note. there is no grave. the only thing we had to remember her by, physically, was the back seats of her van. she had taken the back seats out of her van (so that she could move work materials around) and asked to store them in my mom's garage. it was a weird artifact to hold onto, but even stranger to eventually take to the dump.
as cathy was unprepared to die, i was unprepared to face what it meant to exist in a world without her, to think i'd never come home to find her there, to never hear her voice.
i cannot tell you how much time i spent wandering graveyards in brooklyn and queens in the dead of winter, that first year, trying to make sense of what i still often refer to as "physical manifestations of humanity contending with loss."
to have a stone to be remembered by - it is a luxury, a privilege.
the concept of belonging somewhere, family, home - it is a luxury, a privilege.
i stood among the burials of strangers for so long i started to ask myself how we got here. how long has humanity contended with this? how many ways has it manifested?
the answer is always. a lot. my first serious research began. an endless flipping back and forth, studying old maps, reading the histories of towns - and then wandering them, considering the stones they were made of. trends in sculpture. graves of famous people. local legends. acid rain melting the fine details of marble. experiments in permanence. burial sites that require you to wander through private property, through miles of woods. overgrown. forgotten.
being cared for, tended to - it is a luxury, a privilege.
i asked myself how i could make a career of it: the research, the materials science, monument and landscape design. and i continue to fault my mother for focusing on the details as a way to sidestep what they mean. as if i am not endlessly doing the same.
when people ask how i arrived at the profession, i think about cathy, and how you never would've known she carried a past like that. i think about small ways i can make the world beautiful, because i know, intimately, how ugly it gets, and i offer an oversimplification, which is probably what everyone else does when answering a question like that:
"i like old things."
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believe me when i say that your blog is AWESOME, AMAZING, im in love with your writing, i think it's the most beautiful thing in the world and i want to say thank you for sharing your talent with us. if i could marry one of your fanfics, i would do it without hesitation. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 .now that i said my thoughts about your amazing blog, i have a request... MODERN rowaelin x reader.
🧎🏻♀️🧎🏻♀️🧎🏻♀️ (fancy clothes, expensive phones, cars...) i would LOVE to see a fanfic of them in the modern world with reader🧎🏻♀️😫 .
no pressure, take your time, stay safe, eat healthy, sleep well, and drink water 🫂💜
Modern!Rowaelin x reader headcanon
A/n: thank you! That’s so nice of you to say and I’m so happy you like my writing (trying to make it my career if Hollywood can get its shit together lol). I love this concept, it’s amazing and I had to write it bc Aelin would thrive as modern day princess/queen.
Sending you love bestie ❤️
Warnings: none
Modern!Rowaelin would be a fucking power couple (and with you a power trio)
Let’s say for this hc that Aelin and Rowan are just a rich couple that come from old money. I’m talking old New England money but they give it a new look bc Aelin likes new stuff, Rowan is like the antique collector in the relationship
When you met they were shopping for art at the gallery you worked at
You had just graduated college a year or so ago and this was your entry level job in the art world. You were actually very familiar with the pieces the gallery sold and you have an insane memory for art history
Aelin and Rowan came in to buy a few pieces for their new apartment in the city so you showed them a few pieces since the owner was busy
The three of you hit it off and they offered to take you out to dinner once you finished with work
You met them at the five-star restaurant that was in their building and that’s when they asked you out. “We knew once we met you we had a connection. If you don’t feel the same way please feel free to reject us and we can pretend this never happened.” Aelin said
But you had felt an instant connection with them too. You felt safe and at home around them. You knew you needed to be with them
After that night you moved in with them and they talked you into quitting your job and working for their clients as an art collector
It was like a dream come true
Aelin and Rowan spoiled you with love, attention, and gifts
You weren’t always a material person, you grew up getting things you asked for that were within your family’s budget but this was a whole other level
After a year of being with them they gave you a credit card, “unlimited spending baby. Anything you want it’s your.” Rowan said kissing you on the cheek
Shopping sprees with Aelin were the best! Those were your bonding trips and when you truly got to know each other. You talked about everything while wandering the aisles of high end department stores, trying on shoes and clothes
Lingerie shopping was the most fun since you would pick out pieces that would drive him crazy (and each other)
There may have been a time or two where you both couldn’t keep your hands to yourself in the changing room
With Rowan your bonding time was going on walks or runs or him teaching you how to work out at the gym
When you were out in nature with him that’s when you saw him most relaxed (besides at home)
Your yearly summer vacation is always to Cape Cod
Both their families have beach houses there but they wanted their own in a different area, so they bought one just before they met you
The house is huge and you obviously use it more than once a year but you always had those set 2 weeks in July that you would go
No work. No distractions. Just the 3 of you, the beach, and fun times
You and Aelin of course demand the best lobster rolls which Rowan gets for you
Ice cream every night after dinner
And they buy you all the souvenirs you want
Two days before you were set to leave, you and Rowan were packing. You folded he put away (he’d never admit it but he’s awful at folding clothes but he tries)
Aelin came running into the bedroom with a shit eating grin on her face that told you two she wanted something, “Row, y/n/n.” “Yes Aelin.” You responded in unison
“I just realized we need something for the Cape house that we don’t have.” Rowan rolled his eyes, “And what would that be, Fireheart?”
“We don’t have a Jeep!” You and Rowan shared a look. “Ok A, so what do you suggest?” Aelin clapped her hands together in excitement “We’re going to get one obviously.” “Right now!?��� “Yes Rowan. Come on you’re driving.”
She rushed back out of the room and you followed her as Rowan let out an exasperated sigh, tilting his head back
45 minutes later you were all sitting in the Jeep dealership
Not only did you leave with a Jeep wrangler, but she also managed to find a beautiful jet black convertible Audi
Aelin insisted you bring both to Cape Cod and of course Rowan gave in to her
#throne of glass headcanons#throne of glass imagine#throne of glass#throne of glass fanfic#throne of glass fanfiction#aelin throne of glass#throne of glass rowan#rowan x aelin#rowaelin x reader#rowaelin x you#rowaelin#rowan whitethorn#rowan whitethorn x you#rowan whitethorn x reader#rowan whitethorn galathynius#aelin galathynius#aelin fireheart#aelin ashryver galathynius#aelin whitethorn
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Anonymous submission!!
Med student fem
Aweee man I didn’t expect my big reveal as an anon to get revealed this way oh well! I have to copy and paste my ramblings on here I suppose
WARNING: 🌪️ anon rambling and practically writing paragraph after paragraph
Love sick puppy type of yandere! She comes from a pretty well off background like the typical rich doctor parents and whole family line ranging from doctors/business owners. She’s on her third year of med school in a prestigious school and everyone puts her on a high pedestal due to her coming from this high regarded family and her being attractive, smart, confident and that whole niche. BUT she dislikes it as everyone finds her as this type of girl who knows everything, and takes her to be much more responsible than what she actually is and as she just truly wants a friend to connect with.
BUT due to her background and how everyone thinks of her she can never have a ‘true’ type of friend in her POV. Like it’s either people who suck up to her and act really sickly sweet to her to earn her favor basically like transactional friends or either dealing with people who feel too threatened by her so they never even approach her or try to form a connection 50/50 chance. When she really just wants someone who she can rely on without needing to worry if they’re just with her for her money, looks, popularity, or basically any type of second layer to them.
COME TO US/HER future DARLING. A tired second year major student who’s a year below her. Someone who’s already tired of college life, and has no interest in doing anything but turning their assignment in late to get partial credit hopefully. Also to see what’s for lunch and if they can beg the lunch lady for a free small portion of Mac and cheese in the after hours. Who first met the yet to be love sick yandere in a science class for one of their classes. Not realizing the brunette haired girl who is her partner is the popular student that everyone talks about. AND SO we treat her coldly due to the fact we were partnered up with her for one of our assignments in the lab when we saw students flocking around her for ‘help’. Assuming she wouldn’t be of help due to her being “busy” so we mostly ignore her in favor of completing our assignment for the day for a good grade. Because I’ll be dammed if we got into a prestigious college just to do nothing and get an F if we quite paid literal thousands to attend here.
So when the yandere finally tries to help we just get disgruntled at her and tell her to “don’t bother” because we already finished for the day. Leaving her astonished as she saw for once that she was that “lazy lab partner” for a change who did nothing. AND as this random person she never once had a second thought about in her class treat her so differently as to what she was used to. As this is her first time ever getting treated like this and not being instantly greeted by bowing down/someone sucking up to her or by someone who seemed threatened by her. As she’s lightly bewildered to herself thinking..“wow..who was that just now? No one has never treated me like this before..yup now I need to get to know them now”
It’s a slow build up as she tries to meet up with us to apologize for her not doing anything and such. But in return we just wave her away with a simple, “alr cool I guess bro.” While we continue our way for our next class to get there in time. This continues on for a while as we ignore and always get slightly annoyed by this girl who now is always seen trying to find a way to talk to us. Either by talking to us in the hallway or asking the teachers to assign her new seat right next to us. Using the excuse that we might need help but in reality trying to get closer to us.
BUT as she saw that we wanted nothing to do with her, she thought this would be perfect. Since, for once she met this person who didn’t want anything to do with her not because they were afraid of her. But because they weren’t interested MEANING in her delusional terms she just needs to befriend us and she wont need to worry about having a friend who uses her for money or anything of that term for once! Hooray!
What she didn’t realize was that she was pushing us further and further to our edge. As we see her as this random girl we just met two to three months back is now forcefully inserting herself to our life, and not only that but distracting us while in class. So while we’re trying to take notes we can’t due to her being distractive with her talking and the questions she keeps asking about ourselves. So eventually we get angry enough to the point we actually out right tell her/insult her kinda as we say how we find her annoying and how we want nothing to do with her. Since, we’re only even here to begin with to get our degree before we leave her in her chair in shock while we leave the classroom. Leaving her confused and somewhat panicked as she thought she lost her chance with us. But also slightly blushing? girl might be into it? 🤨 /hj
So her previous platonic-ish intentions for a friend now changes to get us to trust and care for her the way she does for us. Forcing us to spend more time with her no matter what we say or think. Since, students and teachers love her they won’t believe us when we say she started to act creepy. In a way where she begins to appear outside of our classroom doorways to walk us to our next class to chat. Or also in a type of way where she would become jealous whenever she would see us talking to someone else.
But if we even dare to say anything about it to her and straight out say we find her creepy and see her as some type of stalker. People who are around to hear would assumed we just randomly insulted the star student as theyll feel bad for her and get mad at us. Because the star student gave this rando of a lonely student a chance to gain HER friendship but had just insulted her. MEANING we can’t say anything about it sadly as we’re forced to have this girl hang off of us until we graduate hopefully?..
anyways! I’ll end it to here because it’s becoming wayyyyy too long and I just barely scratched the surface. Meaning maybe next time if I decide to write again I’ll explain her ideal future and what she wants from her darling. Like if she wants to get married or if she wants kids or not. ps: she does and wants a big family Or how she acts if she’s jealous, gets rejected, or if she sees the one she likes already with someone else in a romantic sense, including if she’s the type to kidnap her darling or not.
Note from lovezBrowniez:
HELOOFOPDJSAJ??? EOOINF?? OOMF?? I HAD MY SUSPICIONS ON SO MANY PEOPLE EXCEPT YOU I AM GOIGN CRAZYY I AM SO SURPRISED
Also you cooked so fucking hard with this oomf I fear my blog will be stolen by you SO SO GOOD. brain rot more often pls i beg you plspls
i fw this insanely hard you dont get it oomf omg
KNEEWAYS! I love love this so much just the "good everyone fw me but i don't fw them :( ALSO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING THIS I GOT BUSY WITH COLLEGE :(
i am writing the fic rn :3 for our cutie med student here !love this ughhghgr would u be mad if i made her a McCanister oomf be honest
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