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#Hope this is just to make ppl worried and not an actual thing
milesworld96 · 9 months
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YALL…..WE GOT NEWS☹️
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chiimeramanticore · 2 days
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#im not dead quit asking#I'm just really really really not doing well#sorry if i scared anyone. that wasnt my intent#things got. let's say worse. for me irl. more complicated for sure#i hate to publicize my breakdown I really do. but maybe i... need this? in a weird way?#i haven't really been adjusting well to having a platform online. that's not anyone's fault but mine ofc#i feel that my 'fans' (if ive earned the right to call them that) dont and frankly cant ever care for me as a person#i dont know you and you dont know me. you dont know all of me at least. just what i make public. what i allow others to see#i had it kinda bullied into me that i need to keep my mouth shut abt my own issues. and ive spent a lot of this year trying to unlearn that#maybe publicizing this is a bad idea anyway#I just know ive been more honest abt my emotions and my personal life with my friends and my partner#and not everyone enjoys it but i know I'm not like. traumadumping so i feel somewhat assured that anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt my life-#-probably wasnt all that interested in forming a close relationship w me to begin with. even if theyre friendly at first#everyone else; the people who I know care about me; have shown me that through their actions#my point is being honest abt how youre doing w other ppl is a good idea. revolutionary i know lol#and i still don't know a lot of you personally but#parasocial or not i got some very genuine sounding messages while I was gone. and i. feel really bad that i worried those people#I guess theres my proof that people would care if i disappeared suddenly. people would notice pretty quick it seems#im never gonna kms btw. even if i didnt have the support i have im simply too stubborn to die lol. to put it lightly#and to those who thought this was abt fandom drama: it's not. those who shall not be named are genuinely the least of my problems these days#I'm on a journey of self actualization. or something. im trying to get my shit together. im trying to stop being clinically depressed lol#but god keeps throwing wrenches in my plans and. i beat myself up about it too much#but that's just life. they say you make a plan and god laughs#im. trying to be okay with just riding the wave. im impatient but if i keep trying to somehow speed up time im just gonna exhaust myself#which I think is where im at now. burnt out#and on top of all that i still feel this need to like. perform for you guys#if i dont keep making content everyone will forget i exist. if i dont make another video essay this year can i even call myself a youtuber#etc etc. its the spiral its impostor syndrome we've all been there#im trying to end this on a positive note but idk. i dont have all the answers yet#hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime
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dutybcrne · 7 days
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Since taking part in the Tsaritsa’s service, Tartaglia is quite adamantly against being called ‘Ajax’. The name reminds him too much of the person his parents still mourn and wish he was, plus it really doesn’t suit him as much anymore, with the way he’s making his own name for himself. Tartaglia is his preferred form of address, Childe the second. But never Ajax.
#hc; tartaglia#//Only family are allowed to call him such; but even then he still feels quite Uncomfortable every time he hears it#//It’s just not HIM#//Feels almost suffocating; esp if said with warm smiles or worried faces#//ESP the latter#//The people he used to train alongside before he ascended to being a Harbinger all know VERY well never to call him that ever again#//Many learned it the hard way#//Countless other Fatui have just the same#//The less close you are to him; the more the name becomes a reason for things to get Ugly#//Dont worry tho; he’ll give a generous three chances to fuck it up before he starts throwing hands over it#//Its one of the few ways to actually anger him; again esp for someone who isn’t close to him#//Those close to him outside of family who try to use his former name so casually again and again wil end up getting a seriouscold shoulder#//As for family; he holds little hope for them to change#//Not with how they cling to who he used to be and how accustomed they are to referring to him as such#//But he does wish they could refer to him differently#//There is a very SPECIFC reason he’ll actively offer the name for his s/o to know or use tho#//And that’s as a safe word; be it in the bedroom or even in a spar. bc he KNOWS that will catch his attention fast if needed#//He’ll also allow it in times of danger; but he’s not too worried abt that happening that much#//If he’s with someone; they can usually handle themself well to not need him to help; no worries in his part#//But it’s there just in case. only THEN will he make an exception for folks other than fam to say his name#//And only SPECIAL ppl at that
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neyafromfrance95 · 11 months
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i'm so sorry to see that you're being vagueposted about for your sylki takes. it may be true that how you see sylki is a bit different than a certain section of the fandom, but that doesn't at ALL mean that you shouldn't be allowed to have your own takes! fwiw, i followed you bc i actually agree with and really enjoy ur perspective on sylki. i was getting frustrated with how many people seem to view this ship in a super heteronormative way and want sylvie to basically become a housewife, and i was so glad to find a blog that felt the same way. this fandom has become tiring tbh with how many people are now freaking out that sylvie hasn't immediately started having lokis babies in s2, and i really wish that people would at least leave room for others to have their own opinions!
this! that section of sylki shippers do not leave any room for you to have your opinions! they act like a fanon police controlling what you say in your posts on your blog!
and god forbid that what you say opposes their own hcs and takes, if you commit this unforgivable sin of having a take that is different from theirs, you better be ready for some good old online group harassment! they will make you feel like you are not welcome in this fandom, they will make sure that you are hurt, they will alienate you and force you out!
but no, you are the bad guy for jokingly calling a fandom in general "vanilla" and saying (after several disclaimers that it's your personal opinion) that when it comes to canon, you don't think that sylvie should be all about being loki's housewife.
at this point i honestly hate this fandom. there are some decent sylkis out there and i love the ship itself, but a big portion of the fandom has simply sucked all the joy for the series out of me. i wonder if they realize what the consequences of their behavior could be? back when i said (in my blog) that i don't think sylvie having babies is a compelling completion of her story in canon, and this bunch came to my blog to harass me for my takes, i was in a very *very* bad place already, and the space that was supposed to be my escape pretty much turned on me and added up to an already depressing state i was in.
and bfr anyone says that it's just a fandom wank, let me tell you that these people know how to be really cruel, whether they realize it or not, their behavior is simply cruel. they don't just argue in favor of their opinion, they shit on you personally, get aggressive towards you personally, make you feel like you "can't sit with them", ect. it gets really creepy and ugly.
and the thing is, i never addressed anyone specific in my posts, i never said *this* person and *that* person have shitty hcs/takes, i never even vaguely hinted at a distaste towards the hcs/takes of someone specific, but they accuse me of pointing fingers. when i said that i didn't think canon sylvie having babies would work, i never said anything about sylki babies in fanfiction, yet people accused me of pointing fingers at the fic writers. and they would come to my blog, harass me in the replies and asks, and talk about how despicable i am in their own blogs, and it went on and on for a while.
thanks for your nice words, anon, they are uplifting. and to those who can't stand me so much, don't worry, i'm going to leave this fandom once the series is finished. i hope you are satisfied that being a shitty, gatekeeping, narrow-minded, egocentric person worked for you! but don't ever feel entitled to complain about how lokius shippers treat you.
#asks#sylki#sylvie laufeydottir#loki#i regret ever getting invested in this fandom i really really regret it#learn from my mistakes my friends#unfortunately a lot of your mutuals aren't actually your friends#they are going to turn your time in the fandom into hell if you dare to voice your unpopular opinion/hc on your own blog!#i had mutuals harass me and ppl i thought as friends not come to my aid bc of nonexistent sylki babies lmao#anyways anyways#you win! good job at forcing the last sylki who has unpopular takes/hcs out of the fandom!#you could have just muted or blocked me but i guess it was your duty to make sure it was clear that sylki fandom hates me!#oh & thank you for destroying my desire to ever read a sylki fic vanilla or not bc i can't be sure that it's not written by someone who#felt so insecure bc of my hcs that they decided to ruin the fandom experience for me!#mf i never insulted your fic i'm sure i have never even read it i was simply ranting about what i would like to read in case there was#someone wondering if there would be an audience for that sort of thing#and i never told you not to hc sylki/sylvie a certain way when i ranted on my blog how i don't think housewife!sylvie would work in canon!#but deep down you know that you just don't want anyone to have a different hc/take#again don't worry! you won! hope you are happy!#actually you managed to destroy my desire to be in any fandom ever! i should replace fandom with grass-touching bc maybe the lack of said#grass-touching is the reason some of you think everything is about you and targets you and your precious hcs#god i just cant stop thinking regretful i am for getting invested in this fandom when so many shippers turned out so hypocritical bad peopl#maybe one good thing that may come out of this is some poor soul reading it and getting a reality check regarding twitter/tumblr fandoms#DON'T GET ATTACHED THESE PPL WILL HARASS YOU AND HURT YOU OVER MADE-UP BABIES#it's not worth it! prioritize your mental health!#i have wasted so much of my time defending sylkis from the antis here & on twt only to have the majority of them turn on me#i want my time back god i really want all that wasted time back#why are you mfs sending me angry asks i told u that u won i'm leaving this fandom what more do u want from me?!#im not wasting my life in the fandom where the mfs would harass a real person bc of their parasocial relationship with hc babies#be content with hurting and forcing a person out of the fandom bc u took smtng that wasn't targeted at u too personally
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hearties-circus · 10 months
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I've been having a very strange predicament recently and I think. I think this might entirely kill any hope I had at learning any emotional regulation skills
#gamer txt.#cause cause like. im only confident (and sober) when im anger right so i neber ever stand up for myself and tell the truth otherwise#and yknow. generally this makes me pretty sad#being a people pleaser out of fear especially one too depressed to Actually people please atm is uh. hard to say the least#cause i just do nothing and either hope no one cares or tgat im sufficiently pathetic ebough that theyll back off if they get mad#and neither of those options have been going well for ne currently. so theconstant fear level is increaased#but. but but but if i get angry if someone pisses me off enough i get my confidence#i stop letting ppl walk all over me i stand up for myself i say aaaaaall the things ive veen holding back for so long#and it feels. so. good.#it feels amazing! its a delightful feeling finally being able to snap at everyone its great#but uh. now ive started getting really happy when i get angry even when im not doing anything cathartic#the anger by itself with no actions feels fantastic#and well like there is a reason i tend to try not to get angry#i can get. unnecessary and im too much of a grudge holder and a hardass to apologise after#but when its actual proper rage coupled with a childlike glee? thats. a bit worrying#im already always seconds away from assaulting people even when im normal#if im angry + joyous thats really concerning. like 'i might actually physically really hurt a person' concerning#and ive kind of pavlovd myself into getting happy when im mad! so. its a bit of an issue#but at the same time. there is. admittedly a very large part of me that likes that soooo much#and i keep having to be like a real honest to g-d physical aggravated assault or potentially worse is not a good thing#oh. oh but dont i deserve it? do i not deserve to beat the people i hate to near death? i think i deserve it#so you see the issue!!!!! what the fuck am i meant to do here!!!!!!#i cant trust myself not to hurt people when im angry but im only happy nowadays when im angry#and i Really dont want to continue being miserable
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piplupod · 1 year
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gives a man on the bus some change to cover another fare price because his buddy changed plans on him and now he needs to take a different bus and the bus driver can't give him his change back and then i proceed to psychoanalyze my behaviour in this interaction for the next two hours afterwards, effectively ruining the good experience of being able to help someone out bc i analyze myself directly into a spiral. normal behaviour :o)
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mintjeru · 2 years
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The symptoms you’re describing sounds a whole lot like burn out, which happens to the best of us when we push ourselves too long and hard past our limits. It definitely would seem easier to rely on external statistics (likes and reblogs/retweets) to determine the value of your work when you can’t see it yourself, but this is definitely something that can make you feel worse when the numbers don’t hit your expected target. Regardless of the size of your audience, it’s not unreasonable to want or desire for interaction and positive feedback for work you’ve put time and effort into producing, especially when you’ve done so with more limited resources (time/energy etc) than you had access to before. While it’s not a sure-fire way to cure burnout, taking a break and getting enough rest as well as allowing yourself some breathing space can help. Take care of yourself! Love your work—but don’t burn yourself down to the ground! There’s only one like and one reblog that I can give 😢 even if I want to give more…
hey anon! first, thank you for taking the time to write and send this in 🥺 second, it's a bit of a late reply bc i started crying while reading this for the first time and had to come back to it later ajdsdjfsjdf ;;;
you're probably right, i think it is burnout. i've been telling myself otherwise for months now bc i've been worried that the frequency of my posts has set myself up for others to expect something of me + not making art to share would be letting my followers down. but that's also locked me in a cycle of feeling guilty for either not drawing or making something that has no love behind it. logically, i know that taking a break would help, but i'm apparently not the best at allowing myself to take it easy 😅 still, i'll take your words to heart.
ty again for this, and i promise your one like and reblog is enough! i'm thankful that you leave notes on my posts and immensely grateful that you would even consider giving more <3
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arolesbianism · 15 days
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In other news Odile crashed my game during her friend quest. Smiles in pain.
#rat rambles#stars posting#I just want to get to act 4 alreadyyyyyy#I have. plans.#and while I know theres more stuff I can do rn in act 3 I would rather save most of it for later#anyways. time to hope I saved before starting the family quests#odile saw I was trying to speedrun everyone's dialogue and said nuh uh try again#also Im glad I got the coin scene like the absolute millisecond act 3 started I was worried Id have to sit around for forever#speaking of the coin I got a fun glitch with it earlier#I was near the favor tree and got the coin dialogue where a glitch rewind effect happens#and the tree jumpscared the hell out of me by suddenly getting stretched out and huge covering most of the screen#I had to walk out and back into the are to fix it it covered like half the area#it genuinely slightly scared me for the split second that it wasnt obviously a glitch lol#gotta love the universe breaking itself to try to keep itself together#one thing that did surprise me is just how much optional content I've never seen before there is#I knew there was stuff that most ppl who play the game dont ever see but I guess I forgot most ppl dont obsessively shove their faces into#walls until smth happens#love making my sif grapple with his lost past the absolute millisecond I am allowed to every time a new scene is opened up to me#the lost contry scenes are all easily my favorite scenes in the game and its honestly not even close#theyre both very important to me and also just incredibly well written and interesting#its low key what boosted sif from being a character I have a complicated relationship with to character I adore#to be clear the complicated stuff is all in the rest of the self recognition I face when I see him spiral#you see jackie is recognition through the other (derogatory) but like in a god damnit you have adhd dont you sorta way#while sif is more like. hoo boy. uh oh.#which is ironic because jackie is the one of the two whos actually a terrible person lol#you see I like picking her apart while with sif it feels like theyre picking me apart which is significantly more uncomfortable#I forgives them I just need to not think abt them for too long at any given time or I start feeling depressed lol
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wintergrofyuri · 3 months
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"(blank) hates laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP
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shuro is just as awkward as laios and it is made So clear he considers him a friend and likes him. he defends him when the canaries start talking shit and actively readies himself to physically fight them so they dont get to him.
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namari also likes laios. she respects him as a leader and also defends him and readies to fight the canaries.
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ive not actually seen anyone claim izutsumi hates laios, but a lot of ppl Are weird abt them. izutsumi and laios' relationship was rocky at the beginning. he struggled to figure out how to interact with her. but by the end, she actively seeks him out to talk with during the lead up to the feast. she hides behind him when falin wakes up. she has already realized shecan do what she wants and does not need to stick around, yet she does. she sleeps near him on the windowsill, waiting with him and marcille for falin to wake up. she has accepted him as part of her life and wants to keep him in it.
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marcille does not hate laios. let me say this again.
Marcille Donato Does Not Hate Laios Touden.
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marcille Loves him. in a platonic, familial sense. laios returns this just as readily. she yells at him. she whacks him. she tells him whats on her mind. she uses healing magic to ease his pain during the parasite fiasco. she reattaches his leg when he loses it. she teaches him magic. she lays her head on his corpse and cries before reviving him. she launches herself at him two times, when the canaries interrogate them and when he talks her down in the tower. he is a comforting presence to her. she trusts him, she cares about him, she worries about him, she imagines him as a big fluffy dog that loves and protects her. laios is her rock when falin is taken from them time and time again. and she tries to be his as well. she whole-heartedly, unconditionally, loves and trusts laios.
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chilchuck does not hate laios. laios pays him his rates, no questions asked. laios trusts and respects chilchuck's job as a lockpick. laios does not see him as a child (at least, i cant think of an instance where he does so). chilchuck states, outright, he sees him as a friend and doesnt want to see him hurt. he actively worries about him as the falin situation gets worse. chilchuck respects laios. he shows almost 0 hesitation in helping get falin back, nor eating her by the end. he does not think of leaving him once, until he realizes he could lose him. chilchuck is cowardly with emotions and prefers to bottle things, so his first instinct was to bolt. he was angry because he was scared of watching someone he cares about destroy himself. laios is his Friend.
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and holy shit. holy Fucking shit. kabru DOES NOT hate laios. kabru has the rockiest start known to man with him, and he Still helps him by occupying the canaries. he warns him about them. he hides the black magic from them just as shuro does. his whole Thing is trusting laios despite himself. kabru has his own baggage regarding other people, just like laios, yet he tries so hard to believe and trust this man. he Wants to. kabru is not very hopeful, but laios makes him Want to be. he states like 3 times he wants to be close to him and sees him as a friend. he stays through the entire feast!! the man who hates monsters, whose biggest trigger is monsters, actively, consciously, Willingly stayed through the entire monster meat feast. all to help his friend get his sister back. he could've left!! the feast was like an entire week!! yet he was there for every single day. he was one of the closest people to the door when falin awoke!! after reuniting with her brother, her friends, the people who knew her the most (plus senshi and izutsumi), the first person she greets is kabru!! he wants to be close to laios, he likes laios, laios is his friend and he cares for him, he wants to meet his sister!!! kabru fucking stays on the island with him as one of his closest, most trusted advisors when he becomes king!!!!! he wants to help him succeed!!!! he wants him to be happy!!!! laios is his friend!!!!!!!!
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im just. people like laios!! laios is a nice guy! he is friendly and cares about people! he is weird, he doesn't understand most social cues, he oversteps boundaries, but they stay beside him, because they like him and he is their friend. he is their friend!!!!! friendship is not all sunshine and rainbows, relationships in general are not sunshine and rainbows. you will upset people, people will upset you, you will get into arguments, things will happen, but at the end of the day, the people close to you like you! they love you! they care for you! they want to work it out and get through it because they love you, but they will feel those emotions first! human relationships are complex and messy and life is complicated. even shows for toddlers know this.
if you truly believe any of these characters hate laios you are worse than a toddler. watch some fucking oobi or something. god. fuck.
take this
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thanks
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nomairuins · 2 months
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i am okay tho i just have momeys sometimrs . please do not ever worry abt me guys
#i rly rly rly appreciate any asks u guys send me truly i usually hold onto then bc i dont know how to respond and rheyre good to see#sometimes#but im not in any danger i rly am. safe. i have a lot of things keeping me from doing That so. i am safe. dw.#i just get sad a lot. and its my fault i need 2 judt stop it and suck it uo and Work on it all but its so. insurmountable. and it judt#doesnt get easier yk. it never does. whatsver.#but. anyways i am safe i am okif it got to the point i was like. fearful for my life thatd either be The delusion (which is actually good#for me i cant explain it but its good for me) or i coulf talk to my family abt it and theyd help#i just cant talk to them abt This. stuff. the like. the being broken stuff and just not being right#i cant talk to any of them abt that. but if i said hey im genuinely faarful i miggjt do something they would um. help. so its okay#idk. i hope the posts dont seem like i make them for pity i rly dont this blog is just my stream of consciousness#ik i just shouldnt post them and i should judtkeeo a diary but i dont um. how to explain thid#even if nobody sees it it feels better to make a tumblr post bc then it feels like. a performance i guess. its not its real but its like#if i put it somewhere other ppl can see it then that means i exist. thats not quite right but i dont know how to articulate like#i dont nexessarily want ppl to see them i find it embarassing i guess. but it feels dishonest to not post them#since i post everything else. bc i like being open online it makes me think im real. does that make sense#and there are timestamps so i know when things happen. thsts modtly how i remember things#is looking at my blog and checking dates and timestamps. and for older stuff i have to check my dms with ykw. which. is not good for.me at#all. but ihave no other way to remember dayes#i dont know. im rly sry i hate podting vents but i dont like deleting posts eithrr so j dont know oike. idk.#just idk know they arent like. They are serious they are how i feel and i usually make them ehen im in distress#but its not dangerous distress i judt get hopeless. yk? i dont wanr anybody to worry abt me ever im not supposed to be a burden#i dont knoe. i havent articulated anything well. basicallt i dont do rhem for attention i dont do them for like. guilttripping or pity#i dont rly do them for any reason other than irs pure word vomit. i suppose. and tumblr is my wordvomit website. i judt get on here and yap#and it makes me feel so much worse but i get better eventually so its fine.
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ame-to-ame · 3 months
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oh. hm.
#i had a realization today and now i feel so absolutely horrible.#when i was out w friends today one of them wasn't having a good time and stepped out for a moment#and in the back i could hear the other 2 whispering to each other basically abt how she's been like this last time they hung out too#the consensus unspoken was that there was sth off. but they kinda just kept moving along. i stepped out for a bit bc i felt like idk.#she's out alone on the streets someone has to make sure she's okay right.#when I'm back one of them goes oh i was just wondering where you were. as if everything is normal.#after a bit of wandering around in the store the other goes oh where is xxx? as if we weren't all there when she said she's gonna step out.#as if they didn't discuss her behavior right after.#and it suddenly reminded me of when i found my ex with her head buried in her hands when i was gone for a bit.#and i was like oh what's going on and the other 2 there were just chatting and one of them just is like idk she's sleeping.#She Was Crying. I was so. idk. i was panicking i was so worried. And I was so mad too bc how could they not notice a friend being unwell??#and i hated myself for it bc it was my fault for leaving her there and i had her id and it was really my fault and i wouldn't have known#i wouldn't have known that. idk. i thought she was left with people who were her friends who should then pay attention to her wellbeing#idk i. i would have trusted my friends to take care of or at least be aware of how i feel.#but we left for a bit and nobody even noticed. what happened. someone even texted asking where did we go.#and idk it's just the same thing i just realized and connected the dots. they will pay lip service. they will tell u they care abt u.#and they will echo it among themselves oh i worry abt xxx is xxx okay oh yeah xxx has been acting like this as if it actually does anything.#and nobody will actually make sure later on. that she is actually. doing fine. that they can do what's good for her atm.#and God. I'm just realizing that. idk. i. i wish i could've been a better support for my ex if she really had needed it at the time. idk.#i was just listening to what other ppl were telling me. but i. i didn't think it through. if these are the ppl she has for support.#if they didn't care to make me feel cared for. if they didn't care to check if she was okay back then. idk i. God.#oh God. what if i fucked up majorly. god. oh god. idk i just thought they treated me like that bc thry we're mad at me#but what if it's. not a me issue. and i shouldn't have trusted that other ppl would take care of her. bc they aren't. trustworthy in that.#ugh but at the same time. she asked for space from me. what else was i supposed to assume than that she didn't want me around?#at the very very least at least I'm sure her family loves her a lot and will care for her and make sure she's okay. god. i hope so.#idk!! i care but in my position i don't think me caring or wanting to help does anything. she doesn't want my support. she doesn't want me.#idk it's something wrong w me probably i genuinely don't know. she's the one telling me she's worried I'm pushing ppl away so.#it's not behavior she condones ig so it makes no sense if she does it herself if she believed i was good for/to her but still pushed me away#so in conclusion There's gotta be something that i fucked up There's gotta be sth wrong w me but i. god. i.#i have so much to nitpick with myself i genuinely don't even know if I'm a good measure or judge of what i did wrong or right.
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swampdrive · 1 year
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Specific gripe but hwrow capitalism really crushes art
#ive been getting back into doing adopt designs to cover costs this month and am going to have 2 do it regularly again#and there is a pretty specific niche of What People Will Buy and What I actually Have Time to Create i have to fall into and its just a bit#soul crushing. like I have so many Ideas for Stuff i want to draw but i know wont be marketable or wont sell well etc. which means i just#cant make it! i dont have time to be drawing whenever i want i have work so i have to foce myself to do it when i Really Dont Want to on#the weekends bc if i dont I wont be able to afford transit to my Real Job and its just ahdbfjdndj soul crushing#like ik i should be thankful people want to buy things from me and that i could probably cut down on drawing stuff to sell since i already#made the budget quota for this month but this is also going to be a continuous issue for the next few months for me and im worried i#wont make enough one month and have to start dipping into my main paycheck and thats just a not good trajectory to take#anyway i wish i could draw more weird little men and weird little robots instead of the easily platable fun outfits and very humanoid#android designs ive been doing. like ppl have told me they wld be interested in other stuff but the main bulk of my followers are NOT which#makes anything weird/out of my preset formula i make a risk for me right now :/#ANYWAY to anyone else who bothered to read this A. i hope youre having a fantastic day bud go drink some water and have a snack#and B. if ur an artist who dabbles in adopts and stuff like that jsyk there is a weird market for outfit designs rn?? from covos ive had#with buyers a lot of vtubers want outfits to have models made off of#weird market but ill take it!
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dutybcrne · 1 month
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Okay, I had more thinkings abt Hidden Strife. And lemme tell you, the timeline of Diluc’s departure of the Knights, his fight with Kae and him leaving Mond is WILD to me cuz it goes like:
On Diluc birthday, he and Crepus face Ursa the Drake and Crepus dies, due to, by Kaeya's thoughts in the manga & Vision Story, having been mercy killed by Luc himself
Luc resigns from the Knights after they try to defame Crepus and deny him the proper recognition of what transpired. According to the manga, this is where Diluc also abandons his Vision. Which MEANS
When Kaeya admits to Diluc that he was left in Mond as an agent of Khaenri’ah and they fight, Diluc’s flames that night were in fact the Delusion’s fire, not Vision based
Implied by a staff member of Winery’s letters (see number 14) Kaeya chose to stay at Knights HQ barracks/elsewhere of the Winery after this. At this time, he writes a private letter abt how he supposes he deserved Diluc’s wrath and that doesn’t blame him for anything.
Soon after, Kaeya writes his first letter to Diluc, telling him he doesn’t have to answer back, but even knowing Diluc wouldn’t want to receive anything from him, he still wants Luc to know Eroch ( guy who covered up the Ursa incident to ‘protect’ the Knights’ reputation, stole credit for slaying Ursa, and angered Luc enough to quit the Knights ) is being investigated by Varka’s inner circle. Which is INSANE, giving away such confidential information to an outsider of the knights, even if it IS Diluc, ESP via letter. No answer back from Diluc ( though for good reason in addition to his emotional turmoil/potential resentment, considering the former thought ).
Diluc decides to leave Mondstadt to pursue leads on the Fatui and the Delusion ( maybe prompted to get to the root of the problem? ).
Kaeya writes a second letter detailing that both he and Jean found out his plans. While Jean wanted to write to him to stay, Kaeya encouraged her to not do so and actively encouraged Luc to leave. No one else knows Diluc is leaving otherwise, because Kaeya tells Luc to leave at night and the soonest he can to avoid having to make anyone else sad over him leaving with goodbyes he’d have make. No answer back.
Diluc heckin leaves
Another letter from Kaeya following up tells Diluc Varka gave Jean the power to investigate AND punish Eroch for what he’s done, but he thinks the matter won’t be so simple even after he’s caught. But tells Diluc to wait for the good news. No answer back.
Varka at this time is, implied by his letter to Diluc, already away from Mond, so he wasn't present for Crepus' death nor Kaeya and Diluc's fight. But he is aware of what’s happened thanks to Jean’s letter, and gives his condolences. He reiterates what Kaeya said abt giving Jean authority over this case ( so no one else knows Kaeya is one-sidedly corresponding to Diluc at this point? 🤔 ) and adds he wants Diluc to stay with the Knights.
Diluc replies he has no intentions to stay with them ( if nothing goes wrong, so he MIGHT rejoin if it is extremely needed? 🤔 ), but thanks Varka for the letter anyway and wishes him well.
Alice gets involved bc Klee remarked to her that it’s been ages since she saw Luc, Alice tells Luc to travel aaaall over Teyvat and that she’s sorry what what happened to Crepus. She also reaffirms she believes Diluc is still kind and gentle, in spite of appearances.
Luc says he planned to travel more and tells her Klee is welcome at the Winery while he’s gone.
Implied to be Elzer states Kaeya just came back to Winery after taking leave for a few days and is currently staying in his old bedroom. It is remarked they Know Diluc would have never turned away Kaeya if he were there, and that Kaeya's presence livened up the place for them ( they missed him ;-; ).
Kaeya sends Diluc a letter saying he’s noticed a particular group of men whose employees seem to hang around Angels Share and dangerous places outside Mond’s main city. Tells Luc he thinks they’re associated with Diluc and claims the notes they dropped written in code were hard to see with a blinded eye.
Diluc’s first recorded reply to one of Kae’s letters. Acknowledges Kaeya’s observations and chides him for bringing up his eyes in his letters bc he’s not actually blinded in That eye ( implying not only are those men Indeed keeping an eye on things for him in Mondstadt, but also many MORE cases where Kaeya’s sent letters to Diluc regarding his eyes? )
Kaeya replies he didn’t intentionally mean for Luc to think so, though it WAS scarred ( Notably, Kaeya remarked previously that he was completely okay with Luc thinking he was left blinded by his attack in his private box/see 4 ). Kaeya closes this letter by saying Eroch was punished, and he's going to celebrate for himself and Diluc, bc he knows Diluc isn't the sort to do such things.
The Return of the King ( Diluc comes back to Mond sometime after reading Kae's letter )
#;save#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//I'm not gonna detail the rest of the letters after he comes back bc this was abt Luc leaving to his return; but YEAH#//I find so much of Luc's responses to things Kae says/does so funny. Like#//first; Kae telling him that Eroch is being investigated could possibly have prompted Luc to go off and investigate on his own#//Then Luc actually listens to Kae when Kae told him to leave to avoid making ppl have to say goodbye to him#//Bc by Klee's words; he'd been gone for ages & it seems he deffo didn't give any warning to anyone; just left#//Then sb telling Luc that Kae came back & stayed in his old room made erbody happy prompts Luc to send ppl to keep an eye on him#//Could be suspicion (but then why heed Kae's warnings & keep his letters?) or concern bc at this point he still thinks Kae's blind#//Prolly the latter bc he does not refute the idea that he would have been 100% okay with Kae staying if he'd been there himself#//Plus with Kae's observations on the 'businessmen'; it seems these ppl hang around places Luc would like to keep tabs on#//That are coincidentally ALSO places Kae would most likely be found at#//And when Luc finally responds to Kae bringing it and his eyes up; he isn't mad abt him finding out Kae wasn't blind after all#//Just tells him to cut it out; even if it is enough for Kae to give a semblance of apology in response#//Idk; these things are interesting to me#//But tbh I expect nothing less from the guy who went out of his way to deal with a HYDRO abyss mage. Yknow one KAE can handle better#in his first appearance; and made sure to look after Kae on the island adventure when he could have fucked off to do his own thing too#//Anywho; I record these things in hope they will help with my characterization of my special clowns kjnkfdg#//I might have forgotten or flubbed a few things tho RIP#//Plus I focused on convos between Luc and others in particular; not all of them as a whole unless they RLLY affected things#//Sooo#//khgbkdfg#//Honorable mention of Kae's post-return letters showing concern for Luc Darknighting & asking for a collab#//& wryly remarking that Varka wants them to talk bc he thinks they can mend things if they do (THEY CAN. THEY IF THEY WERE HONEST RAAA)#//While also telling Luc he's going to keep the meeting in midst of the Darknight hero investigation completely professional to avoid it#//Then Luc ultimately agreeing to collab with the knights bc Kae asked for it while also telling Kae to take care of himself bc; & I quote#'No need to worry about my safety. Self-preservation is easy. Striving towards my goal is hard'. Like' ALRIGHT MR. COOL#//Fucken clowns; WHY CAN'T YALL COMMUNICATE MORE LIKE THIS IN PERSON
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hoshigray · 8 months
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𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞 [𝐍𝐎𝐓]!! | a JJK series
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𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: “GO FUCK YOURSELF, SATORU GOJO!” “BETTER THAN FUCKING YOU!” It’s no secret to anyone on this Earth that you and Gojo cannot stand each other. Despite that, the world seems amused to put these two star-crossed lovers haters in the same space. Or worse, have them dwell deeper into their feelings for one another…
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Gojo x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern + college AU - frenemies to lovers + mutual pining - fluff + angst + misunderstandings - first kiss - virginity loss - Gojo and reader are at least age 20 - secret relationships; implied friends-with-benefits - sex in shared rooms; college dorms + hotel suite - college parties - use of party games (seven minutes in heaven) - confessions - mention of drug/alcohol abuse - humor bc Gojo and college, lol - Gojo is a cocky, tactless sweetheart, nothing new - cameos of other characters + explicit content will be listed in their respective fics (within the contents).
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: when I say that I had this series planned out, I mean like mid-October last year planned out, lmaoo!! I'm honestly so psyched to do this series, as it's one of my favorite tropes + relatively short as I'll be busy irl, but we'll do what we can!! i was lowkey feeling this concept when i was re-watching Ranma 1/2 and figured it would work great with Gojo. So, here's to hoping i can properly execute my thoughts with this series, hehehe~
reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ❤︎ gif header made by me + fic dividers used are provided by the wonderful @cafekitsune and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more!!
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𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑰𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒊𝒓...
All the material below contains explicit 18+ content, so minors do not interact.
₊˚⊹♡ 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 (Feb 1st)
The start of the spring semester is supposed to be fresh and new, not be cramped up in a closet with your frenemy at a party! And what's worse: you actually like the feeling of his lips on yours!?
₊˚⊹♡ 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 (Feb 7th)
Is it possible to wish to be in the embrace of someone who makes you want to throw them off a cliff? You seem to think so, and the same goes for Gojo. But alas, good things always come to an end, even when not meant to be...
₊˚⊹♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 (Feb 14th)
Going on a date with the guy who broke your heart is something you’d never thought would happen – especially on Valentine’s Day! But it’s just for him to be in your good graces again, nothing more…Yeah, go ahead and tell yourself that.
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𝑨 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑳𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖!
Would you like to be tagged when these pieces get released? Lmk in the replies, please, and thank you!
𝑻𝑨𝑮 𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 𝑪𝑳𝑶𝑺𝑬𝑫!!! Have made a list of the first 50 ppl who asked, but don't worry!! Check back for the stories when they're posted on their respective dates!!
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© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 ❤︎ These stories have been written by the original poster (me). Do not steal, edit, copy/plagiarize, or post any of my works on your own accounts, in or out of this app. Please and thank you.
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.
...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli
(Pt 1 for description rant)
#diary#personal#i rly wanna book a therapy appointment but im having a rly hard time trying to get myself to do that bc i need to check i can vid call#cuz my computer monitor is broke and havent fixed it yetttt ugh.#i rly feel like researching autism again. idk. i saw a video about communication badges being used at furry conventions#and by god that sounds so fun ;-; like. i really struggle with interaction with others and talking is sometimes really hard.#mainly bc if theres a lot of noise i usually wanna block it out and if i gotta take my earbuds out to comunicate all the time its not fun#idk. i just wish i could go around writting shit out for ppl to read and thats that. no need to speak to clerks or crap.#bc imma be honest. i have a hard time hearing too. like in crowded places. its so overwhelming all the time.#its both a good and a bad thing that im giving myself the permission to be overwhelmed in situations#but its also making it much more difficult to actually be in those situations.#idk. i used to force myself through it. tell myself i like it or whatever. but by god everything just hurts nowadays#like. i dont like leaving my house mostly bc of the sensory overload.#i wonder how things'll change in the future. just how much more accepting will i and society be. i dont know.#but i hope i learn to cope more. bc life is really hard and imma be honest im struggling at best.#idk. i find it so hard to work lately. i love my thoughts. they are so fluid. and just. language doesnt keep up.#everything i say or write isnt quite right. and it bothers me. i sorta wished telepathy existed just soley so i could comunicate#idk maybe someday ill learn sign language. and maybe that could help. but it wouldnt help when im shut down. or having a meltdown#yknow. i find face to face human to human contacr really scary. i worry theyll want to do something and i wont#i worry i wont be able to get across my reasoning as to why. i worry that theyll see just how odd my behaviour can be.#and above all i just sorta worry they wont work with me to meet me halfway. like. im stuck with my family i dont want that with friends too#i hope if i visit them itll be okay. that like. i wont cause a problem or accidentally offend them or something?#idk. i wanna make friends n hang out. but as ive gotten older ive discovered just how much i hate that.#like i saw a rly cool tik tok about how they set up their home for all their autistic friends when they come over.#like. its established you can just stop talking and remove urself if you wanna. and theres stim toys n plushies n shit. and low lighting#and just. that sounds like heaven. i struggle so much in social situations. bc i eventually get tired.#and it makes me feel sorta burnt out/depressed. so itd be nice if i could just remove myself from a stituation whenever.#or just lay my head down on someones lap and silently observe.#i wish i knew what to do when i get overwhelmed in public. bc it happens a lot. and i freeze. and idk what to do.#and ill cry and get overwhelmed and shutdown or meltdown. and i start to aimlessly wander and its sorta dangerous tbh?
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chisatowo · 2 years
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My aunt is gonna be leaving til next friday tomorrow I think, hashtag winning
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