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#but im not in any danger i rly am. safe. i have a lot of things keeping me from doing That so. i am safe. dw.
nomairuins · 2 months
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i am okay tho i just have momeys sometimrs . please do not ever worry abt me guys
#i rly rly rly appreciate any asks u guys send me truly i usually hold onto then bc i dont know how to respond and rheyre good to see#sometimes#but im not in any danger i rly am. safe. i have a lot of things keeping me from doing That so. i am safe. dw.#i just get sad a lot. and its my fault i need 2 judt stop it and suck it uo and Work on it all but its so. insurmountable. and it judt#doesnt get easier yk. it never does. whatsver.#but. anyways i am safe i am okif it got to the point i was like. fearful for my life thatd either be The delusion (which is actually good#for me i cant explain it but its good for me) or i coulf talk to my family abt it and theyd help#i just cant talk to them abt This. stuff. the like. the being broken stuff and just not being right#i cant talk to any of them abt that. but if i said hey im genuinely faarful i miggjt do something they would um. help. so its okay#idk. i hope the posts dont seem like i make them for pity i rly dont this blog is just my stream of consciousness#ik i just shouldnt post them and i should judtkeeo a diary but i dont um. how to explain thid#even if nobody sees it it feels better to make a tumblr post bc then it feels like. a performance i guess. its not its real but its like#if i put it somewhere other ppl can see it then that means i exist. thats not quite right but i dont know how to articulate like#i dont nexessarily want ppl to see them i find it embarassing i guess. but it feels dishonest to not post them#since i post everything else. bc i like being open online it makes me think im real. does that make sense#and there are timestamps so i know when things happen. thsts modtly how i remember things#is looking at my blog and checking dates and timestamps. and for older stuff i have to check my dms with ykw. which. is not good for.me at#all. but ihave no other way to remember dayes#i dont know. im rly sry i hate podting vents but i dont like deleting posts eithrr so j dont know oike. idk.#just idk know they arent like. They are serious they are how i feel and i usually make them ehen im in distress#but its not dangerous distress i judt get hopeless. yk? i dont wanr anybody to worry abt me ever im not supposed to be a burden#i dont knoe. i havent articulated anything well. basicallt i dont do rhem for attention i dont do them for like. guilttripping or pity#i dont rly do them for any reason other than irs pure word vomit. i suppose. and tumblr is my wordvomit website. i judt get on here and yap#and it makes me feel so much worse but i get better eventually so its fine.
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Hiii i saw your matchups/cakes and I LOVE THEM. English is not my first language so i am sorry for any wrong spelings and grammar use lol. Can a Get a boy from Hq?????? I am a capricorn, with a lot of fire sign in my chart. ISTP. Tall girl, 175cm. Dark blond hair to under my shoulders, blue eyes. Lean bulid, but mby a little broad shoulders and waist. Enything else is normal ig. I indeed have cheek bones and jawline, a caps face traits a think. Stretch marked on my ass and things. Im just gonna keep my personality short cuz i dont know how to talk about myself. Im Shy and intro and first, then i will open up and become a messy and late-coming person. Im never on time to anything. Once you know me and logical thinking, feisty, dark humor type of funny, sly, stubborn, determind, strong minded, oberetiv and a daredevil. I will do enything for somthing in return. Nobody can hold me back. I am also a Clumsy person, a will let a word og two slip and offend somone, will break or forget somthing. Im always there my friends, help them out with everthing and my door is always open for them. Street smart all the way, i Can talk about enything and give tips and trix on enything. Im not the Life of the party, in a party im either outside or taking care of Ppl or i am sipping for other ppls drinks. I listen to pop/rock but i Can vibe to anything. I also love pasta. And cats, but im allergic): I overthink a lot, tend to bottle up on my emotions and then just let it burst when im alone. I got bullied as a kid, thats why i keep to myself and have Some close friends and then friends i dont trust that much. I like long lasting realtionships and friendships. I wont settle for somthing that i dont belive will work. I just want to feel safe and loved and held, lol. Am i rly ugly cryer btw so i wont look into another persons eyes. I train a lot, do sport shooting, wresle a lot with my friends and dad in a safe way ofc. I love to have a friendly and funny wtesle. I lough a lot. I said i do sport shooting, and i hate it when ppl take it the wrong way and starts to compare it to illegal activity. That my biggest pet peeve, and loud chewers. I LOVE CHEES AND CARD GAMES. Also late night means and snacks. My favorite time is like late at night, after sundown. Late night walks. Laser tag or paint ball is a must, Water and pillow fights AGH my dreams. Also, just to chill in a bathtub👌🏻✨Pfffff Idk what more. I would like a boy form Haikyuu, whos taller than me. Would be up to my randome and mby dangerous ideas, but also calm and relaxing when it fits the mood. Dosent need to know how to comfort a crying person, just like do the basics and ill be fine. THANK YOU SO MUCH😘
@sussebassen
Romantic Matchup
Tendou Satori
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How Y’all Met
Ahhhh
Y’all had a class together
And EVERY SINGLE DAY you would show up late
Every. Single. Day
It doesn’t matter if you we’re 5 minutes late, or 15 minutes late
You never showed up on time
This peeked Tendous interest...
So, he asked you about it
You then explained how you never try to be late, it just always happened
Then one day
Satori was walking to class
The bell was going to ring soon so he was trying to hurry
Then he saw you
You were also just trying to get to class ON TIME for once
But you tripped...
And you fell...
And ALL of your papers went everywhere 🥲
You silently cursed to yourself before rushing to pick up your things
And you we’re startled when a certain redhead began to help you
You guys had gathered all of your things before RUNNING to get to class
And you guys were still able to make it on time 😃
The teacher made a remark that maybe you should hang around Tendou more often if it gets you to class on time
Little did he know that you would do just that
Apparently you both had similar interests
So you guys became really good friends
And feeling began to bloom over time
Poor bb was to scared to confess to you tho :(
He didn’t want to scare off one of the only friends he had
Of course he told all of this to Ushijima
And of course Ushijimas LOUD MOUTH
spilled the beans
Unintentionally of course
But still
He just didn’t get the gist that all of this was supposed to be a secret
So one day when he and Tendou were walking together
They saw you
And Ushijima was just like “ah your that person that Tendou likes correct?”
You:😳
Him:🙂
Tendou: 🥲
Tendou then took you aside and properly confessed his feelings
He was 100% sure you were gonna reject him
“I like you too Tendou”
I’m sorry what????
He was SHOCKED
Baffled
Beguiled
But SUPER DUPER HAPPY
he pulled you in for a bone crushing hug
And promised to be the best bf ever
Awww my boy luvs ya
What They Love About You
Ight I’m just gonna say it...
Mans ADORES your stretch marks
He thinks they’re so cool!!!
He often compares you to a tiger because of them
Oof
He LOVES your sense of humor
He also has a darker sense of humor
So you guys mesh very well when it comes to that
Loves that you have the combo of being sly and a daredevil
If there’s one thing satori loves...
It’s pranks
So those traits of yours make pranks so much easier to pull off 😩
He loves how he can talk to you about ANYTHING
He knows that if he’s ever distressed about something he can go to you
So he’s vv grateful for that 🙏
Favorite Things To Do Together
Oh he LOVES to play card games
His favorites is slap Jack
WARNING: he gets REALLY into that game
So he hits HARD
So be prepared...
He 100% swoops you away to stores in the middle of the night
Have you guys been caught sneaking out?
Yes
Was that the last time you did it?
Absolutely not
LASER TAGGGGGG
YOU WILL GET DESTROYED
MANS IS THE KING OF LASER TAG
So just take that L
Also paintball
He’s not that good at paintball
Mans aim is booty
But he still likes to play!
Random Hc
You’d actually be quite shocked on how chill he could be
Like sometimes he just reads his manga sin silence
If you want to talk then sure
But those are the moments he prefers to be quiet
The reason he’s so good at laser tag...
Is because kids used to target him 🥲
So he had to adapt...
And now he’s a pro!
If you ever want to talk to him about your bullyed past
ON GOD mans is always there for you
He knows what it feels like
So his goal is to comfort you when it comes to that
Honestly
Mf chews loud...
So that’s something you’d have to work on 😃
But he’ll try his best to stop if it bothers you THAT much
Astrology
Capricorn + Taurus
When Taurus and Capricorn come together in a love match, it’s a practical, sensible partnership.
These two Signs share a certain down-to-earth logic and interest in efficiency.
Taurus is not interested in risking more than is necessary in terms of emotional connection and involvement, and Capricorn is similarly disinterested in risk, but more in terms of money and career.
Capricorn’s career is one of the great focuses of their lives; they’re interested in scaling the heights and tend to set very high standards for themselves to adhere to.
Taurus has high standards as well, but regarding love, relationships and possessions.
These two signs admire ones dedication and strength, but, while they have this in common as well as a dependable, realistic, somewhat conservative approach to life (Capricorn more than Taurus), a love relationship between them can go stale fast.
The problem? They’re actually rather different at their cores.
Taurus may begin to find Capricorn too conservative and restrictive
Capricorn may start to think Taurus is too lazy and doesn’t care enough about career and status.
If Taurus can encourage Capricorn to relax a little and appreciate the fruits of labor, and if Capricorn can help motivate Taurus to achieve goals and make dreams a reality, their union can be smooth, happy and long-lasting.
Overall Aesthetic
Chaotic Teenage Romance
Songs
Electric Love- BØRNS
Line Without a Hook- Ricky Montgomery
Scrawny- Wallows
Hey Lover- Wabie
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lanamemories2 · 4 years
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rides onto the dash nude n on horseback like this pic of sam way. oh fancy seeing u here.......... im impeccably tensed our entire exchange. buns like steel cld crack a nut open between them. i’m nai n it’s so nice to meet u all!!!! i’m one of the admins here (josefine frida pettersen on the main) n i’m so Excited 2 get things going........... some facts abt me r i sometimes hv a witch’s cackle, i once drunkenly swung frm a tree branch pretending to b tarzan n fell n grass stained my fav jeans at 4 in the morning n i lov spicy food despite the fact it mkes me sweat like a hog in the sun. more abt lana under the cut!!! also like this or hmu if u wna plot n her pinterest is here n playlist is here 👺🌚
「kristine froseth & cis-female」⇾ jameson , lana, the junior radcliffe student’s records show that she is a gemini and 22 years old. she is studying dance, living in off campus and can be vivacious, passionate, childish & impulsive. when i see her i am reminded of stepping out in the cold wearing just a red slip, lipstick on a stranger’s throat, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」
AESTHETICS:
scalding your fingers in shower water until they glow like rudolph’s nose, cherry red gym socks tugged high and nothing else, stepping out in the cold wearing just a red slip, an origami swan made from an old receipt, tickling a stranger’s chin with the end of a feather boa, crowning each finger with a miniature raspberry, hugging a knee close to lick a stripe of fruit juice off a bruise there, doodling penises in the condensation of a car window, a water pistol topped with rum and covered in glittery pin-up stickers, believable smiles that feel more like baring teeth, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, prancing around in your underwear to a vinyl record with the curtains open.
HISTORY:
lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. albums framed on the walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i summarised it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”, not that u wld know from all of the gardener’s pruning
lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his rich best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n victoria ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him
anyway so jameson records repped a few big rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. (drugs/addiction tw) they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare
lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. rly troubled characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was kind of an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast. very strange environment fr a child to grow up in
her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana asked her why shes so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door
(dissociation/delusion tw) bc of this growing up lana adopted this weird like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w noone acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family
the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. hes the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her in the zoo they called a home n cut the crusts off her PBJs so they lkd like teddy bears (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door n was always over bc he had very strict parents / a military father tht he found suffocating)
SO when caleb n tommy announced tht they’d signed up to the army lana ws understandably…….. blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving like pretty besides herself bt she tried not to b mad at them n made them promise theyd b safe n back as soon as possible. she even asked if they cld somehow take her w them n they were jst like :/ it doesn’t work that way luv x
(death tw, ptsd tw, grief tw, trauma tw, hospitalisation tw, drugs tw) anyway caleb ended up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed tommy die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home sans tommy bt he was never the same after tht. he’s been in n out of hospital n he turned to using as a way to cope so it’s been a rly bumpy road since. lana kind of felt like two of her brothers died out there in a way n jst like tht it wasn’t them vs the world any mre, it was jst her
ANYWAY whew tht rly…. took a dark turn there….. chuckles nervously at hw sad lana’s life is bt it’s fine it’s all fINE!!!!!!! ok. so on a mre lighthearted note the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably Pretty Gorl
(trauma tw) after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself
(hypersexuality tw) this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr hookups even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. the risk is honestly part of the appeal to her sometimes she’s :////// quite self destructive n jst likes a thrill to mke her feel Alive. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. it kind of… almost mingled w tht same feeling she used to get when she ws younger of being a ghost?? like she jst. only rly feels Real when she’s being touched
(violence tw) she’s had.................... SCH a bad history dating wise. she almost always dates fking.... actual beasts like i jst wna gently shake her by the shoulders sometimes bt :////////////// one of her recent exes is in prison aftr he beat up someone she’d slept w in front of her like she jst. has had a very Not Sexy time w romance...... she hd to b a witness in the trial abt it n he ws found guilty n sent down so it ws like Intense n a gd example of the kinds of disastrous relationships she gets herself into. perks of being a wallflower voice: We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve.
this past summer she gt a job at a burlesque club in downtown lovell!!! it honestly is her dream job like. dancing? being sexy? fav hobbies................. most delicious pastimes... 10/10 ideal fr her............... she almost started working at a coyote ugly bar bt this one won her over. she usually jets off to some foreign country n has a rly exotic n action packed summer bt i think she wldv just been working local there fr this one to b close to her brother (the rehab he’s at is close like a 40 min drive so!). she’s also moved into a big lofty apartment w 3 roommates tht’s above a chinese take out w lots of lanterns hung outside. the street? scott street......................... tribute to mizz phoebe bridgers hunger games salutes to the sky so it travels 2 her............. she gt a red heart shaped bath tub installed which hs always been her dream so honestly the summer hs been pretty gd to her....... five stars on yelp she deserves Some happiness once in a while
PERSONALITY:
always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones
growing up lana was always a HUGE social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget (cld b a gd or bad thing depends on ur Stance...... she can be a lot tho frankly). very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.
deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring act tht femme fatales wear in movies sometimes. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as or the person she feels ppl want her to be. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out
always the last one awake at the party. jst doesn’t seem to hv.... an off switch. every1 else cld b passed out at 6am n she’d still b swaying around to sunday morning by the velvet underground in her underwear drinking frm a bottle of merlot
she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories
uncontrollably flirty. she’s tht tumblr post tht’s like flirting will b ur hubris n the reply is like kind of sexy of u to say so................ SO confident cld talk to anyone. makes a joke out of anything. tends to laugh when she feels like crying. even if she DOES cry she’ll smile thru it like it isn’t happening she jst.... doesn’t like to b negative ever if she cn help it
she’s amassed a weird collection of like... Things various ppl she’s known hv made abt her. this guy she ws friends w wrote a song abt her n performed it at a gig she went to without telling her in advance. it ws rly dramatic he sang it n looked at her the whole time n she ws jst a bit like.... omg.... lmfao............... she’s also hd various paintings done of her. i honestly dnt even rly kno hw it happens she jst has a personality where she..... leaves an impression like a lipstick print on a white shirt w some ppl.................. she’s like tht tumblr post where someone arrives at a poetry reading n is like hi yes........ where do the muses sit? except she isn’t rly.... obnoxious abt it she jst shrugs n is like.......... oh that........... KJHSFKHGSFKGHSFKGSFHGK. it’s a charmed life fr some
always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.
PLOTS:
exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. whips her in the town square like gale
mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her??? chaos. anguish. strife. 
someone tht works at the burlesque club in downtown lovell w her!!!!! as like a bartender or another dancer or security or................... whtvr honestly. hvn’t worked out a name fr the club yet bt i think it cld b a fun setting to write stuff in n there cld b lots to build off there!!
a cousin plot cld b fun too
her n freya nilsen run smthn called Dick Sisters Inc......... they hv a twitter fr it n everything.... n a hq based in one of the abandoned dorms in the leach building.... lots of inflatable furniture disco balls.............. lana even gt replica airplane seats so they cn sit n b served drinks by this guy tht runs errands fr them who they call bucket....... they bsically like. set ppl up n help ppl get laid it’s a matchmaking service of sorts.......... started as a joke bt nw it’s genuinely become quite a profitable business w word spreading all over campus........ ugh entrepreneurial icons... anyway mayb ur chara cld come to lana fr Dick Sisters assistance......... mayb they’v come to them in the past......... 
a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other.
someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh
briefly did camgirl stuff on an independent bt up n coming porn site....... titters.......... mayb ur muse used a pseudonym n recognises lana frm it bt is too embarrassed to admit they were subscribed............ mayb they happened upon her on there once n nw r jst like. what do i do w this knowledge. idk cld b fun to work around perhaps
an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool)
someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label
someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all i won’t lie to u. relentless.....
umm a good influence too mayb?
honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. mayb even one of the high profile kids she grew up hangin w idk. world’s our oyster fellas!
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linipik · 6 years
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Ooo, whats Nyxs plans for Adam? How do the others feel about their Roman counterparts (and whats Lances reaction to Alluras bf)? Do the romans tell Allura about Lotor?
Voltron x PJO AUpart 1 | part 2 | part 3 | Part 4
As always, i am sorry for my writing, i am no writer. and sorry for taking so long in updating this AU.It is written the same way I narrate to myself but the general of the story is all there! (and I think this is the longest part to date)
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RECAP TIME:
Shiro, Keith, Lance, Pidge and Hun are Greek demigods, Allura is a Roman Demigod. Their quest is about finding Matt and getting to Mount Othrys  since it is appearing because rough demigods *cough* Lotor guiding the Romans *cough* are siding with Kronos because the Gods have gone radio silent for WAY too long. Reah helped Allura to get to Camp Half Blood and meet the Greeks because she doesn’t want his husband to pit demigods against the gods anymore  but she made Allura promise to not reveal the the thing about camp Jupiter existing… They parted on their quest, had a couple of bonding moments *WINK*  and when they got to the Gods Junkyard they met some roman demigods who were scrapping for weapons and who attacked team voltron only to be saved by MATT (accompanied with other demigods  surviving away from any of the camps). 
Under the cut is how it all follows
FIRSTLY lets move to Tartarus:Adam FELL…into tartarus only to be found by Nyx on her flying chariot and Adam convinced her that he was more valuable alive. 
Nyx took Adam as errand boy in tartarus in exchange of the death mist thing and you know, not dying. Doing that he found the hermes shrine and he tried to contact his father or anyone without much success for MONTHS but at least there he got some food, so…yeah, it wasn’t all that bad. But of course the more he tried to contact his father , and after not getting an answer, it really seemed the gods couldn’t care less about their half human children and it can make anyone feel angry and unimportant.
Every single soul on tartarus has a thing against zeus and demigods and he always said like “ im just the messenger i dont care”, but since everyone is so bored they kept asking him about what got him there. But he had to be careful af bc telling dangerous ancient souls about how much he missed his bf a son of zeus (or ex boyfriend he is not sure) was SO not an option. BUT was by meeting these ppl that he met one of those kings that have escaped tartarus in the past and BOI did that gave him faith. It was possible. The thing is  being in tartarus is weakening for a demigod, repeating yourself enough times that you are NOT dead is not enough to believe.. you are not dead. He rly wants a way out and, after all, Adam is the son of Hermes, god of travellers and the only god to be able to travel from the land of the dead to….anywhere so he had to channel he had that in himself, he only needed a way to get OUT. One of the days he is in the Hermes shrine he gets a dream on how to get out there: One of the non guarded, full of monster, secret doors to the mortal world through the labyrinth.
That is when he sets on that journey and finds in the entrance to the labyrinth/ exit from tartarus. He also finds in that exact point a adamantine sword: perseus sword (not percy riptide. Perseus,) a harpe giving to the olden hero by hermes, (The harpē  was a type of sword or sickle; a sword with a sickle protrusion along one edge near the tip of the blade made of the indestructible metal adamantine , check it out it is pretty cool). The sword is cool and all but as always with demigods, when something good happens it only means something worse it’s on its way. And finding a weapon is bad news and everyone knows it.AND THAT is how Adam got out of tartarus. By then a year or so has passed and it is basically in the same moment hour 6 heroes start their own quest.
NOW..There are romans demigods with Matt, they recognise Allura  and don’t really trust her because they kind of think she is with Lotor, but Matt is like, NAH she is with MY friends , with MY sister and they trust she so, she is alright and while they are camping in some safe part of the junkyard Matt explains to Voltron team about how camp half blood is not the only camp, and that there are…more ways a demigod can survive away from camp, there are the amazons and the hunters and all kind of side places created by demigods for demigods where they can feel safe. 
They all then look at Allura who is relieved she can come clean to her quest mates, but then then she is confused by why Romans are attacking them, and some of the demigods who are with Matt say it is Lotor (who..it really is but Allura didn’t know is siding with kronos) and Allura is like “No no, it can’t be, Lotor is thoughtful and charming and a great leader who will always have his reasons and wants the best for Camp Jupiter and he is a real Hero “ half flustered and Lance sees that Allura actually...like-like this Lotor. Who seems to be La creme de la creme in the Roman camp while Lance is a rookie demigod, not really a fighter, on his first quest and he has been about to die most times than all of the others together in the past like 3 days.. 
And Lance just goes by…oh because he wanted Allura to like him because he was really liking her and the way she seems a full flagged fighter and leader. BUT still in a very Lance way he sides with Allura in front of everyone including the demigods who are not trusting her, “ of course she is not doing this to harm other kids, she has risked her life for us and she could enter camp halfblood so she is good and full of good intentions and Reah herself guided her to us so she is great”. AND Keith is like….oh because it seems Lance really likes Allura  and even if they were hitting it off with the Pegasi maybe it was all in his head and Lance would like more someone like Allura who is actually thoughtful and not him who doesn’t know where his head is half the time :’)So..how to get from Arizona to Mount Othrys without being spotted by rough demigods, the romans AND all kind of monsters ON TIME? The only answer they find is The Labyrinth that is equally dangerous but could keep them away from revealing their position and their plan to the Romans. The idea is that Allura gets to camp Jupiter and confront Lotor …without being detected so she cant be stopped by Lotor….right handsMatt navigated trough it enough to suggest it is possible to get everywhere from there, Shiro is having a mental breakdown because he doesn’t want to get inside it again but he is good at hiding his feelings and be a Good Leader ™ But Matt is gonna keep with the demigods trying to slow down the romans and monsters while mount ostrys just gets more powerful and to distract them from the real quest with team voltron.
…And Pidge. Pidge is like NOUP I promised Athena I will bring you back alive and I found you and I wont Let You Go Again, We are heading back to camp because that is the only logical solution. Nothing says WE have to keep in this quest and we can go back regroup in camp half blood and live to fight another day with a better plan.But Matt has changed a lot since he went out on his quest with Shiro and Adam and he has met these amazing demigods and  he tells her there are many things worth fighting for that thinking with her heart is equally important, and that they will meet again in camp Jupiter.In the Labyrinth!So yeah everyone kind of say their good byes and goes separate ways entering the labyrinth, technically they were set on following monsters (brilliant plan) because they are being kind of called by mount Othrys. As you know, the labyrinth is a fucking mess and without a real way to navigate it it is impossible to be completely sure what is going on, It changes and it seemed it was fuckin with them. After an incident with some flesh eating horses and trying to get away from rough demigods and monster trying to get them to the gladiator arena, a big attack from a Kampe it all goes to hell. 
They found themselves in a REALLY  small passage where SHiro is having a problem with his mechanical arm and hunk is trying to see what made it high-wire so much ,Lance started to get on his own, because he is brave and he could get them out of there and maybe he just have to knock on that weird rock door with a strange painting. That is when the painting in the wall started to look more than real and the Kampe spotted Lance first of course, and while he froze at the giant horrible monster who was destroying the walls and the floor and everything in the small passage materialising in front of him, Allura saved his sorry ass (again) controlling the mist as well as she could, but since she has been more worried about the entire Lotor siding with Kronos thing, it is not…as effective as it should. Pidge is trying to REALLY work up  an exit, and thinking quick she tells allura to distract the Kampe with copies of them while they escape from the roof. BUT the Kampe is not fooled and When Allura and Pidge  are the closest to the improve exit on the roof, Shiro and Hunk are about to get decked, Lance in one of his hero complex things gets the full attention of the monster again and Keith goes by OH No. Not. Again. and gets Lance out of the way. Lance is getting really furious with Keith bc it is the zillion time Keith takes him out of the way  of a fight, as if he was not able to do things himself. The beast is attacking Keith now, frustrated that his precious prey got away and makes the floor crumble with Shiro and Hunk sliding further down, Allura Pidge and Lance got into the way of the roof and keith is channelling all that energy, the one that made him get to shiro back in his first quest, and he is able to step on the rock doorway disappearing from the monster. 
Shiro and Hunk end up together in one of the most ancient parts of the labyrinth, dark, smelling like wet earth and little breathing space….,and poor shiro who was trying so hard to keep calm is 5 minutes into losing it completely , he, a son of zeus is underground, feels trapped and thinking they can end up in the gladiator arena again is driving him a bit too insane. Hunk is seeing this and does what he does best, try to get how the current problem works, bu this time is not some piece of metal but it is Shiro’s entire existence. ANd for all that is worth, Hunk is really good at coming trough for others in pinch moments.
Lance Pidge and Allura end up together navigating the most tedious part of the labyrinth. dumb monsters marching to the same place  and they cant do anything but follow them with the help of allura’s mist to disguise them and praying Lance natural monster magnetism doesn’t get them killed…and the only door they find ends up in the middle of a GIANT field, so no help. It is tedious af and it just gets MORE tedious by their current situation: Allura is  trying to get the mist to work for her but she is having a hard time concentrating after learning her family, the romans and…Lotor are behind Kronos getting stronger. 
Lance is  trying his best on keeping not only alive but showing he has everything to be a hero, but honestly he is debuting everything he knew about himself, He has been about to drown, he froze in front of a monster, he never knows what is going on. He has no quest experience like shiro and keith, he is not good at solving puzzles like Pidge or repairing stuff like Hunk, not to mention he had no idea about the romans or any of the problems Allura is having but he still tries hard to be the charming demigod who is no afraid of anything and is there to support her every move. Even tho he knows…it has been Keith the whole time who has been taking him away of fights the entire time, even fixing his mess of waking the Kampe, probably for the best because maybe…just maybe…Aphrodite kids where not mean to be on quests after all.)
Pidge, is just looking at the horizon like she is in the office. Matt might be her beloved brother, but seeing how they all are thinking with their hearts and that is making them terrible for this quest is another level. And Lance,…lance is ranting to her how he could totally go against Kampe if Keith did not interfere again and again. BUT Pidge knows that Keitth has a problem with Lance being in danger and it is not because Lance is not capable exactly and more with Keith crushing hard on Lance, So she yeah, she is trying to side with Keith here out of solidarity and convince Lance that Keith is not trying to sabotage him or any of those things. That maybe Lance could learn from keith and spend more time with him maybe (wingman pidge ftw)
Keith ended up alone in the labyrinth and after being able to use again his  doorway powers he finds himself in a room with two doors and a doorman in the middle of them. The two faced doorman is Janus himself ask him which is the door he is gonna go, which decision is the correct one since he will have to make The Choice of His Life in the future….and inpatient Keith start asking Janus ALL the questions at once starting by “what was that?”, “what does his coin means?”,”what was his mother relationship with Janus?”, “that he knows about the romans and that it is unfair he didn’t knew before” and blablabla. And janus is like,one of this doors give you all answers, the other takes him to certain death and Keith goes by coin flipping decision time in hopes he could trick Janus into revealing the correct one since he figure out Janus is just trying to fuck with his head. And surprise! the moment he flipped the coin it transformed into an imperial gold gladius and keith basically surprises janus, Keith goes to stab him and janus just disappears through one door and keith in a moment of good judgement goes to the other because Janus of course went trough the door that would kill Keith. SO…he gets to the door with the answers BIG GASPSO
Back to Hunk and Shiro are in one of the ancient marts of the maze and they start walking thanks to Hunk who was prepared to go into a really dark place and has scraps from Hephaestus Junkyard. And in one of those rm=emote parts of the Maze, they start hearing talking, HUMANS talking, to be precise demigods and it means it is the same kind of demigods that are working with monsters and trying to get Kronos back and Shiro is like protector mode ACTIVATE and is ready to fight them as soon as the turn one corner but the  demigods sound like they are..discussing between them SO they end up getting as close as they want to hear what they are talking about and SHiro just stops dead on his trail as he recognises one of the demigods….it is Adam.
and Shiro NOW stops breathing. So hunk resolves that the best approach is NO fighting so he kind of goes in making himself appear he is on their side  playing innocent and that some leader needs them BUT Adam recognises him from camp and Adam gets Hunk is Lying. He is about to knock Hunk out and… shiro interferes. So you know this is the first time they see each other after their fight back before Shiro was captured and made a champion, before Adam went to tartarus and Back. (their fight was about how shiro is always playing the hero and getting himself and everyone around him into dangerous shit and how Adam was playing it safe and never wanting to risk more than he should. BOth were correct) Adam: I thought you were dead Shiro: I thought YOU were deadAnd it ends up being the Most Awkward Reunion in the world. like Hunk thought they were gonna be fireworks and tears and a kiss but it  is nothing like that. They fall directly into quest mode because talking about their feelings is recognising their previous fight and that they separated.Adam stares at shiro new scar/arm/hair all the time and Shiro stares at adam new sword/dark circles under his eyes and he is always On Edge. Both look tired and terrible. .Hunk is like, OKAY good the update but we should be thinking on getting to the others!! and Adam tells them that the baddies have a way to navigate the Labyrinth accurately : clear eyed mortals who are in danger and shiro is all like, we HAVE TO go for them. And it is actually the only plan they have. Anyway, Adam has been with the rogue demigods for some time now and knows a weird lot about their plan, he is totally aware that those are demigods tired of being the pawns of the gods and after his field trip to tartarus he honestly sees why.  of course shiro and hunk tell him , about the Romans and about mt othrys  and how Kronos is gaining power from the rogue demigods and more monsters and titans and everything is marching destroying any minor deity or nature spirit who is on the God’s side and how even then…the god’s have been silent. surprising no one.
Allura Lance and Pige arrive to the place the monster are marching to inside the labyrinth: It is an Arena and they recognise it as Shiro’s gladiator arena and MMMM they are starting to also see rogue demigods and minor deities and things are starting to get dangerous but they can’t turn back or they get more attention than they want so they go inside the arena where everyone is  reuniting for something and trusting the mist to do its job BUT before getting in they get spotted by a girl in a cell: She tells them how weird is to see a purple shirt (Allura) with two orange shirts (Lance and Pidge) and even more that they are disguising themselves. The girl looks like she has been in the cell for LONG time: Surprise it is Shay, (a clear eyed mortal) but they couldn’t open it at all so they moving inside the arena for what seems a BIG meeting promising her they are coming back for her.
MEANWHILE, Keith finds himself in the door with the answers. He is now in a warehouse in the middle of a meeting. Of several romans. Who are now looking at him like he just insulted them and their mothers. And They are all “noooo this cant be that door was enchanted” and keith is all “YOU ARE MY ANSWER? WHO THE F ARE YOU ALL? WHERE IS JANUS?” They are seeing a young demigods with a CHB shirt  wielding an imperial gold clearly roman sword ready to fight. Not Normal at all. And a clearly old guy with a scar in one eye and the BOSS  is all “kid, you are a roman” . Things start computing in his head the coin, the weird way he was able to find SHiro, his past encounter with Janus… but keith goes “I am a son of Ares” From the group of romans a woman calls his name: “…Keith?” and… that is when Krolia appears.
Reunion Time! Krolia is a Janus Legacy and went to Camp Jupiter back in the day, this group is an Olden Elite Roman Secret Group part of the old Preatorian Guard, who never ceased to exist and that has been moving parallel to Camp Jupiter for centuries. They are the Speculatores Augusti, dedicated mostly to avoid the secret of the existence of the romans demigods to go out there  and keeping the roman problems…roman, it is like a legend inside camp jupiter but they still exist in the shadows. and right now they are trying to calm this nonsense. They Know about Lotor, and they know that the plan is to turn demigods away from the gods and that it would revive Kronos.
Some Backstory:
Krolia is not a demigod directly, she is a Legacy but an incredible good fighter and then she got with Ares. Krolia met Texas after being pregnant with Keith. (insert here an incident Texas going all, wow pregnant lady you alright?) And wao, they hit it off really, enough to Krolia consider to have a mortal normal life…normal as it could be. And Keith was born and they were a family for little time but then rumors started about Kronos awakening slowly  and that Keith would be in the middle of the THAT war and that the Romans where starting to not hear from the gods and suddenly it all started to be more than rumors so she decided to leave them and try to stop whatever was happening from inside. And she left them with  a janus coin so he could know something about his roots and , making texas promise he wouldn’t let keith go to any of the camps and Texas was like OKAY but he died when Keith was 10 or something and Keith ended up in camp Half blood anyway…. And she didn’t know until this moment when her son was in front of her and now she knows texas is dead and everything is a little bit too sad.
Keith tells them what he knows from his quest, about shiro about the arena about allura about the rogue demigods and about the other good demigods working with Matt he is basically full of good info and it gave them the ultimate details to do finish their STRIKE the  that has to be ASAP before that whole army marches to mt Othrys  and puts in danger the entire world. And Keith is like….but for Kronos to gain all his power he will need more time…that is what Matt said. And they explain that the one danger in Mount Ostrys is no other than Atlas himself and if someone takes the sky from him The General of Kronos would be Free and that would mean The End. 
And that is how the entire secret roman group Keith is now part of goes to the place where the big army is reuniting: The Arena (btw this is the group that has Ariadne’s String and that’s how they can use the Labyrinth )
THEN
We have the three groups all reuniting in the same place.Adam Hunk and Shiro want to rescue the innocent mortals Allura Lance and Pidge are there to know what the in the hades is going onKeith is there with the Speculatores to stop the armyThe monsters are all ready to  part and in the podium there are Titans are guiding the army and some demigods allura recognises as ex- roman campers, and they say the found a way to navigate the labyrinth and that they are going to san francisco immediately to liberate their general and to meet with the Romans who are also tired of the god’s nonsense, between the horrible noises monsters did in agreement. Allura is seeing how this only could be possible with the help of someone INSIDE camp Jupiter but she doesnt want it to be Lotor. and asks herself why Reah didn’t say anything when she send Allura to CHB. Lance and Pidge see that the mist is really wearing off and that Allura is tired to the bone so they start to head to the exit but it is cramped with monsters, and a random demigod spots Lance and they are in REAL problems now that the baddies are have seen him, but not…them SO…..Lance does the sensible thing and tells Pidge that it is important to get Allura to Camp Jupiter and he directs the attention to himself. 
 Adam Shiro and Hunk are using a moment when all the baddies are distracted with something to open the cells of the mortals (thanks lock picking  Adam abilities via hermes) and they get to Shay, she tells them that Allura Lance and Pidge are there..NOw the monsters being distracted and furious make sense and it is horrifying . SHiro jumps to go to look for them despise Adam telling him to wait that he feels something is Not Right and he is getting really frustrated with shiro because of his hero complex and there is when HUnk tells Adam that probably is because Shiro  has more of a survivors complex since the moment he arrived to camp half blood without them, that probably even when he was in the arena he felt more lucky than matt and  him since he was alive. Adam is like, damn him, and HUnk is like MAYHAPS if you too talked you could get somewhere YOU KNOW, being under heavy circumstances can really make anyone  have a crooked perspective and that it is what always happens with old machines that often people dont know it but they work like that too. and you just have to be kind and  work with that new perspective to be able to see the present and what is happening and not what it is supposed to be happening. 
Shiro finds Pidge and Allura first and send them to where adam and hunk are close to the cells, and Pidge tells him that Lance did probably the most stupid thing ever  but there is a WALL of monsters and is being really difficult to get to where Lance is and curses his entire existence for being underground and not having the space for flying or lightening or nothing and he feels USELESS AF
Keith is with his new roman secret organisation intending to work again from the shadows, after hearing the plan or the army heading to mt othrys the plan to take as many monsters down right there right then is the best. They plan to blow the  arena and send the majority of monsters direct to tartarus or some pit deep down. But then, there is the shift in the monsters attention and when Keith and others go to investigate from one of the upper levels of the tribune before, you know, blowing the whole thing up. From there…He sees is mother fucking Lance and his heart stops or beats faster…Lance is alone  surrounded by so many monsters that it is ridiculous and holding a number lance is in “who wants to go against ME first uh? maybe this is the lucky day any of you get to kill a beautiful son of Aphrodite OR maybe I could kill you?? who knows!!”and “That telekhine thinks he is better than all the empousai look at him! he is gonna strike first! are the empousai so weak they are gonna let him win? really?”and pinning the  monsters against each other and it is ridiculous and charming  but over all dangerous because it is obvious to Keith Lance could not go if 3 or more of the monster decided to attack together. So he tells the other speculators to wait 5 minutes so he can save Lance, they say 1 or they might miss the opportunity to blow the most important titans.  So that is the best he can get. Keith starts going down to the arena where Lance is, resolved to his bones to WIN and pulverise anything that dares harm his… friend
Lance has been streaking of with his bow any monster who is falling for his taunt and pinning some of them against each other but arrows are limited and he lost his sword back with the Kampe. Monsters seem to be picking up that too because the circle is getting tighter and there is no way out but if he is going down he is going down fighting. Keith gets to him 
-queue to some serious Ares Blessing Moment-
 Lance shoots his last  two arrows and starts hitting monsters with his bow …and then Keith is in front of him , red glow around him and practically…invincible. Lance is half jealous, but also half in awe. Keith is more than a natural wielding not one but two swords (his spatha and a new golden gladius) (was that even possible??) The monsters who were all focused in Lance didn’t see Keith coming at them Keith passed him his spatha in the middle of the fight and it was even better than when they were sparring at camp. They didn’t need words to know what to do and they were holding it well against the monsters and it felt that, at that rhythm two demigods did had an opportunity to come out alive. A second later shiro’s metal arm appeared harming  a monster, and Keith just yells at shiro “The floor!” and takes lance, holds on to shiro and BAM-
There is no more floor! the explosion takes half of the Arena , many monsters start falling and shiro is concentrating the entire power he is channelling from the very deep of his gut into not letting these two demigods and himself fall with the rest of the confused monsters. The explosion gave him enough wind to fly a bit and it is the best he has felt since entering the damned labyrinth. And soon gets them to their even larger group.
- NOW they are all reunited!
They are all happy to be reunited again, but it is Big Awkward tm. Lance was SO close of dying so many times it stopped making sense, Keith  is a roman Legacy,Adam is alive but spend a weird amount of time on tartarus and then with the baddies and that mess up any demigod,  shiro and him have a silent treatment going (weighted by all  the things they want to say to to each other that have been accumulating for they time apart) Allura is a bit heartbroken and confused because everything she knows is going down, Pidge literally let Lance distract the monsters because it was the only logical thing to do but he is also her friend and it was…not a good decision and she knows it. And Hunk, the Hephaestus child is trying his hardest in keeping them going somewhere. while taking the rescued mortals out of the labyrinth.So they head to the next exit they find to regroup and think what they are going to do.
Allura met the boss speculators augusti, Kolivan , and she is shocked something so secret has been running alongside her camp for so long…but she is relieved not all romans are on the bad side and gives her hope that camp jupiter has survived so many things They tell her to not open suspicion to lotor when they get to san francisco…so they have more of an element of surprise to defeat him.The Roman BoM is down to closing any doors from inside the labyrinth, rescue any other mortal that could be helping the army and Get to camp mt othrys, after all they have ariadne;s string to navigate that hellhole.
Lance is decided to follow Pidge advice and reallt talk to Keith, after all they were working well together, it has been a life or death situation but somehow it felt just right , being with keith, fighting side by side, it felt like they could do anything.
“Hey man…Thanks for saving m- “and keith interrupts him angry and welp, that is so not what lance was expecting “are you insane? WHAT? what the fuck where you thinking, are you a martyr? do you have a death wish? if you ever get in some stupid situation like that again I….” and keith shuts up but Lance follows anyway, “you what? UH KEITH? you WHAT!? “Keith: “just get out of the way and let the others do their job” and thats is the last drop for lance,”am i in the way? YOU are on mine. you are always on my way. I know you think i cant do this , you think so low of me that i cant survive on my own, we all know you are so good , a Natural, well, you are not the only capable hero-” Keith :”ï dont care about being a stupid hero! “ Lance: “WELL, I DO” lance is about to cry and is when  keith knows he cant keep being around lance, he doesn’t want him in danger and Lance will only keep heading first to complete that damned quest. Keith  knows lance is good he is what heroes are made of and honesty that scares him. Heroes don’t have happy endings, right?.  Lance just stands up and goes. It all was a mistake, going to Keith was a mistake and he was a fool for believe he and keith were even playing on the same field because every time it seems they have something going it ends up even worse.
and keith is not even surprised it all ended up badly he knows the demigod way and it is that for every good thing that happens, something worse is coming: adam is alive - he seems like he’s seen death, he found the truth about himself - the romans are this close on bringing Kronos back, he gets close to lance fighting side by side - apparently lance hates him, SO…ketith decides to go with his mom , “after all adma is here, you are six now for the quest , and…we will find each other again at mt othrys or camp jupiter”  he tells them 
And the guy just…LEAVES. everyone is a like “don’t be a stranger, see yah soon,  BYEEEE” well, Keith found his family his entire legacy thing so…they  show all the support they can . BUt Lance, he cant believe Keith is quitting! now that is betrayal even so…he was the one who tell Keith to leave(him alone).
Keith disappears through the labyrinth with his mom and the Speculatores and the rest of the team is left to get to camp Jupiter and try to stop Lotor  before Kronos Army gets to Mount Othrys and free the titan Atlas.
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BONUS DOODLE because you made till the end!
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THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR READING! you all deserve another golden star!!
Hope you are enjoying this story, also I think there is only one update left!!
and if you have ANY question, i am Happy to solve anything
and consider donating to my KO-FI, maybe???
Also, another pull through for @monthlyklance in their Klance AU Month
Disclaimer: 
SO YOU KNOW, the speculatores Augusti  existed and were distinguished by special secret boots, all is super secret and i thought it fitted perfectly to the Blade of Marmora.
I use Kronos even when referring to Romans because changing names too much confuses me :T
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thelifetimechannel · 6 years
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ROXY: so ur the 1 w/ all the answers ARADIA: is there something youd like to know? ROXY: well apparently uve got cosmic info + hells of motivational one liners so can u tell y it has 2 be this way ROXY: why this game gotta suck so hard ARADIA: can i let you in on a secret ROXY: im not so gr8 w/ those ROXY: spill stuff when i shouldnt or sit on stuff i should spill ARADIA: ill have to trust you anyway ARADIA: i dont have all the answers ARADIA: just what ive learned from talking to people or trying things out and making mistakes ARADIA: trial and error thats how a lot of things work ARADIA: thats what got us here ROXY: and wut left all those ghosts out there ARADIA: yes ROXY: which brings me back 2 my question ROXY: why does this game suck ARADIA: some things just do ARADIA: but i am inclined this time to say because it was made this way ROXY: by callie ROXY: the other 1 ROXY: thats what i heard ARADIA: see you have more information than me in that respect! ARADIA: the waking world is not my area of expertise ARADIA: out in the bubbles i knew what to expect ARADIA: this is new and harder to navigate ROXY: were all in the dark rn ROXY: but thats my place ARADIA: ive been a maid for a long time ARADIA: cleaning up what i could and making the way easier ARADIA: maybe a rogue from outside the system has a different perspective ROXY: i bet other ppl have more ideas n schemes but if ur lookin 4 the roguish attitude uve come 2 the rite place ROXY: i can give u lessons on being feisty + a rule breaker + lookin damn good while ur at it ROXY: did u ever encounter my brand before out there ARADIA: nope! ARADIA: there arent many humans out there ARADIA: youre new territory for me ROXY: oh ROXY: guess there was only the 1 ROXY: it wouldve been nice for her have some1 there ROXY: id want that if i was dying and alone ROXY: but enough of the heavy shit ROXY: we just met and im already being a PARTY POOPER ROXY: u said u were a maid ROXY: guess thats obvs bc uve got the same kinda outfit as jane ROXY: does that mean ur also nice n cute but morph into a terrifying badass when necessary ARADIA: it has been known to happen ROXY: honestly i havent met a troll girl who wasnt a terrifying badass ROXY: we ladies r def carrying this adventure ARADIA: flarp is called a game for girls for a reason ROXY: flarp? ARADIA: a live action roleplaying game four of us used to play ROXY: that sounds wicked awesome ROXY: i always wanted 2 do something like that but my friends were all long distance and sburb ended up being a little TOO immersive ARADIA: we had a lot of fun playing together ARADIA: unfortunately it led to some... accidents ROXY: maybe we should all try playing sometime ROXY: w/ our powers it could be rly cool ROXY: even snowball fights are gonna have the intensity and firepower of a world war ARADIA: i can ask terezi if she has any copies of the rulebook that arent defaced ARADIA: or we could write our own rulebook! ARADIA: that might be fun, and we could make it safer for the players ROXY: what happened 2 u guys anyway ARADIA: tavros broke his torso column ARADIA: terezi went blind ARADIA: vriska lost a few body parts she could live without ARADIA: i died ROXY: k thats more than i was thinking when you said accidents ROXY: usually its more like some1 got hit w/ 3 draw 4s in a row and rage quit or u slipped on some dice and fell on ur ass ARADIA: none of that was the fault of the game though ARADIA: vriska did most of it, egged on by an otherworldly meddler with objectives of his own ARADIA: working in a few tweaks theres no reason it should result in so much carnage ROXY: if u say so ROXY: ive had my fill of killer games ROXY: u couldnt pay me 2 go a round of jumanji ROXY: maybe ill stick to my retro computer games where i can only die digitally ARADIA: oh, those are fun too! ARADIA: you have to find entertaining things to do indoors when its not safe to go exploring outside ROXY: trust me im an expert at whiling away cabin fever ROXY: but i dont think weve got any danger of that now ROXY: there r gonna be so many wacky shenanigans w/ all of us hanging out together i can already visualize it ROXY: sweet sweet shenanigans ROXY: every moment worth snapshotting and putting in a picture album to preserve it 4ever ROXY: hopefully none of these shenanigans will end up w/ ppl getting broken tho that doesnt sound like good times for all ARADIA: we will have to avert any incoming disasters ARADIA: whether they arise from injudicious game selections or otherwise ROXY: a bunch of badasses like us shouldnt have any problem ROXY: well make games safe and fair ROXY: and well figure out how 2 take on this world on xpert mode ARADIA: sounds like a plan
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bigbrothermonopoly · 5 years
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EPISODE 4:
HOH: ANDREW
EVICTED: SILENCE 8-4
JESS: 
Pandora's box. You are kidding me right? I'm done. bye.
JESS:
Actually jk jk. I'm not done. Clearly this was an inside job. Two people pooled their money together and clearly got it. The real question is... will this get back to me or not. I'm so discouraged right now. I feel like for some reason people don't trust me? I'm going for HOH right now but I ALSO don't want to hear what other people think I should do with it if I get it.BUT also I should worry about that if/when it happens. WE ARE MANIFESTING THIS WIN LADIES! This are still too shaky in this house. I need more answers. I need more people. I just need a pint and a side hoe and I'm good. Everyone seems to be pairing up and I feel like I have no one to turn to right now. We got: Kristine and Chris Brien and Madison Eve and Mackenzie APPARENTLY: Dem and Andrew Austin and Silence Gwen and herself.. Kori and his "I'm in the army" references Me and my paranoia. THAT'S A LOT OF DUO'S in this game. ugh. I JUST NEED A PERSON someone I can trust. Someone who I know is going to ride with me for a while and I just don't see that happening. Which means crackhead Jess will come out eventually. So yeehaw. Also Eve wanting to take out people I'm close with like Will and Brien... no. NO. NOPE. Not happening. 
EMMA:
I think i am safe this week right now i am just trying to maintain my relationships in the house its still a little bit hard to see whos in power but i am told i am safe this week i hope i can win either week 5 or week 6 hoh because thats when those hoh effects the game.
KRISTINE:
IMMA TELL U WHATS UP!!! My life is a mess. I bought a property and Emma has the other one. We just need to find out who has the last one. And I swear to lord Jesus if it’s Gwen I’m going to be PISSEDDDD. That girl has got to goooo. I’m really nervous about Andrew being HOH because I know Chris is in danger and he’s literally my #1 person in this game. Me him and Emma need to make it through this round. I hate that Chris made an alliance that included Gwen and Brian. Since Brian knows our secret and Gwen is a great social player and honestly a comp threat that no one is taking notice of. It IS only round 4 which is fine but still... I don’t want to compete against someone like Gwen. Because I’ve trusted that person before and got super screwed. Thankfully, Chris agrees with me. Anyways. Please send me more money :))) my Venmo is https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2882981236572160313 PLEASE SEND MONEY
JESS:
Who gave out free samples of crack to the house? Last night I had a weird call with Eve. Essentially it seems like she wants Mackenzie to be given a power of the next property we buy so she can control the power via Mackenzie. I feel so bad for Mackenzie because when I've spoken to her she seems kind of discouraged about the way Eve talks to her sometimes. Which I totally get because I'm sometimes kind of shook by it all.  I reassured Mackenzie not to take it personally I just think Eve gets a tad bit overexcited with everything and kind of just shoots her shot. BUT. If these bitches think I'm their bitch they are GREATLY mistaken. In what world does me not getting the power this time when I literally gave up a property and money for Eve to get a power last time, work? If I was them I'd be throwing the power at my someone who isn't in the duo to make me feel safe and secure. I'm not giving up money and another power again, it ain't happening again. Kristine is all in my pm's now trying to figure out what is going now when it soooo transparent she doesn't trust me. Either Emma told her what I said about her and I not talking or homegirl really thinks that I haven't been hearing that she was leaking I was in a trio with Tawni and Gwen last round? Andrew being in power is good for me. He said he won't be putting me up, Eve wastes her power (although I kind of wanted it for us Chris going opens up the game a little more and takes a number away from the other "side" I see forming), and I think Andrew doing this will put some doubt into people's heads. This is all good for my game because it pushes another couple targets in front of me. My only concern right now is that Eve is going to expose that I traded her for that property.
KORI:
Alright checklist for the past 24 hours... Got both utilities to make the Monopoly... Check. Received the option to Open Pandora's Box as a result, and Opened it... Check. Is likely to get fucked over as a result of whatever twist comes of it... Check. Lost HoH and wasn't even close with Andrew winning it... Check. Was told that I was supposedly safe this week by the HoH... Check. Watched the Light Blue Properties get snagged with not much way to speculate who has them... Check. Missed out on $80 in Live Comps because I stayed after a bit at work and was driving... Fucking Check. I think that's everything, guess now I'm just gonna twiddle my thumbs a bit and hope Andrew isn't gonna nominate or backdoor me.
AUSTIN:
Su Andrew is HoH this week and he has nominated Madison and Silence for eviction but....I heard that he wants to backdoor Chris. I’m 100% ok with Chris going home because he always wants information from me but he never wants to give me any info in return. I was also picked for veto and I do not want to win because my Power Trap alliance wants the veto not to be used while my Mandela Monocles alliance wants it used on Silence so either way it goes if I won I would be screwed. Basically I threw the veto competition.
CHRIS:
HAHAHAHAH , if this isn’t a backdoor, I’m stupid. I know this is the case. For all that don’t know, me and Andrew are rivals because I targeted him in the last HoH competition and had people go after him. This caused him to be very butt hurt and a little bitch. Like bro , it’s a HoH completion where your dominating.. of course I’m going to go after you. I don’t care you called me safe, you are a threat since day one. Now I have Dem coming to me telling me all this information like bro.. what is you doing 😂. Thanks for feeding me information, you are not even in my final 5 but thanks for helping me ! This house is great and I know this backdoor won’t go through unless I’m over my head. Andrew , next time you have a chance, you should of gone for the head. 
ANDREW:
episode 4 So my plan for this week as of right now I’m gonna nominate madison and silence because they didn’t message me saying anything If chris gets picked for veto eve is going to use her veto redraw Hopefully veto is used by the winner I backdoor Chris Baby goes bye bye But also this pandora’s box is more than likely to fuck with me this week :/ My prediction is vote flip but i’m just going to carry on as normal cause i can’t ruin my game due to paranoia also my top 2 allegiances rn are Eve and Jess Lowkey scary that im not in any set alliances yet cuz i know there do be some probably But its okay bc it might work to my advantage later on when im the free agent that these whores need ALSO MARk my words here. If William nominates me when he gets hoh hes a fucking FRAUD he made a deal w me safety for safety and its a good thing cause i was going to nominate his ass instead of silence So far everything is going according to plan and Chris will be out of the house by the end of this week, Obviously if me silence or madison win there will be veto use William said he would use veto aswell Only thing: i’m rly bad at puzzles I lowkey hate that I talk so much in the house chat but I cant help it............I dont want peeps to think im annoying...Sorry I just wnt to contribute to everything its like a disease There is no better feeling than having Chris shake in his boots :heart: You rly fucked with the wrong twink babe He thinks he has the votes to stay. I just have to laugh Especially since he tried to discredit me telling him I was a threat to his game with the simple words of "Bet" Bitch Ill show u bet rq. This is gonna be a split vote i cant wait for this to potentially blow up in my face I am deadass providing a list for SIlence on people he needs to campaign to Like this bitch is not leaving the house My loyalties 
GWEN:
I really want Chris to stay. We’ve become really close in this game. People don’t know how close we actually are. If they did, my alliance would probably just want him out. The vote will be split, and sides will be chosen. Eve is trying to threaten everyone into voting Chris out. She is saying it’s a unanimous vote. Please. It’s clearly split. She needs to goooooo. Please please Chris stay!!
JESS:
What a fucking mess this vote is. This is what happens when cocky people get cocky and assume they have people on lock. I adore Eve and Andrew but... they should have thought this out a little better. I just.. I'm just.. I'm fucking livid. I don't get where Miss Thing Evelyn gets off saying stuff like "That’s my plea, stick your neck out and you will be rewarded". What are you going to reward me with? You warming the seat on the block for me after I'm gone because I sided with you? Thanks but if I wanted a seat warmer I'd go to Target not Walmart. But in all honesty, it's not like I don't want to do this move. I 10000% was into the idea but that's because I was sold the dream of it. I thought Andrew had more pull than he actually does. I knew Eve didn't have as much pull as she thought but Andrew I was wrong about. I was in a decent spot. I think? Kind of cruising the middle and now that spot is being blown up because it is CLEAR Andrew/Eve don't want to be the only ones to take the fall for this move. BUT.. I don't trust Dem to 1000% not get paranoid and flip and I don't want to be sitting on the sinking ship fucking alone. Dem is apparently going to just vote Chris so I guess I'm going to vote for Chris and hope for the best at this point. 
AUSTIN:
This week has been CRAZY! Basically Andrew won HoH and he wants Chris gone but he wants to backdoor him so he puts up Madison and Silence. Madison ends up winning the veto and Andrew replaces her spot with Chris. My dilemma is that I am in an alliance with Chris and Silence. I think Chris needs to go first because he is very sketchy. Also Silence can go next week easily. On top of all of this, I have been put in 2 alliances that I didn’t even know were forming. Each alliance wants somebody different to go home but I’m hoping that we have enough votes to evict Chris. 
JESS:
Also Brien is a shady ass hoe and I will be exposing his relationship if he fucks me with this vote. Plus, I knew his ass bought a property and traded it Emma with Kristine and didn't tell me. He's keeping secrets from me and I'm not playing this game like season 1 Sansa I'm playing this game like last season Cersei. No fucks given. I'll probably die soon. His ass is playing the middle and if I win he is going UP. Sorry but this isn't the Bachelor it is BIG BROTHER.
WILLIAM:
I'm so excited cause it looks like this is the vote that will get the game going! I love everyone and want to stay together but like I'm so ready to draw this line in the sand and cause some chaos going!
WILLIAM:
I dont know what Eve's deal is with this threatening game tactic, telling people "The vote will be 12-0" or "Is you dont vote with me it will be a mistake" but I cant wait to see her face come eviction night 😈
KRISTINE:
Absolutely no way in hell i'm letting Chris get evicted. I refuse to let my #1 ally go home because of Andrew's ego being bruised. I'm hoping that my deal with Emma and Brien goes through and that she is able to use the power to basically threaten everyone into voting the way that they said they were going to vote. Again, I REFUSE to let Chris go home this week. Not that I have anything against Silence because he's just like... there but I'm more worried about who is staying versus who needs to go. Anyways, Emma better not be lying about using this power now... or else I will come for her. Chris is like my little brother who is older then me and I will protect him at all costs that I can!
EMMA:
youtube
MACKENZIE:
i am NOT looking forward to this vote??? i still don’t know what im doing but i think this is going to be a shitshow
KORI:
So Kristine has dropped a shit load of Tea on me, which has led me to question everything. APPARENTLY there's a Gwen-Chris-Kristine-Brien Alliance. Additionally there was a Chris-Austin-Dem-Kristine alliance. (Though that 2nd one is kaputz with Austin wanting Chris out and Dem being upset with Austin.) Emma got that Vote Reveal which presumably, Myself and Jess know, and I can only imagine Kristine and Brien probably know given they were the other Light Blue property holders that both agreed to give the properties to Emma. So at the very least that's not a power I have to outright fear because I know who has it, I know what the Utilities did. (Sortof, still waiting on that Pandora's Box) The Browns are presumably gone assuming that Veto Shuffle was a one time thing. (That power honestly makes sense since Early on it's Useful but later in the game it'd be worthless.) Unfortunately either Eve or me is being hustled and given that Eve has a biased opinion others know about in relation to this vote, I'm liable to believe more people would lie to Eve about voting Chris than me just because I'm not a biased person right now. If it weren't for the heart to heart me and Chris had as well as really hashing it out with Gwen I don't think I'd be keeping Chris, however based on what I know about the Chris-Dem-Kristine relationship (Thanks Kristine) I doubt Dem was actually with Eve for the vote anyway, which means for Chris to go I'd have had to convince either Gwen or Emma to vote him out which we all know is against their best interests. My best bet right now is to try and recover from any blunders from this round with as much social capital I can walk away with and hope whatever happens with Pandora's Box doesn't just completely screw me over. I'm just ready for this headache of a week to be over, but given it's a live comp next, I'm expecting this next round to be just as trash.
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survivormarmoreal · 6 years
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Episode #13: "im so EMO (TION)" - Bryce
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I cant believe that im still here. And we have majority. 3 vs 2. Matt is coming to me know saying that he wants to work with me but like. Bruh. But that could be good tho having him. I have to see what happens with immunity first.
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OKOKOKOK CAN WE JUST DISCUSS HOW AM I A FUCKING GOAT. FIRST OF ALL Jock destroyers was a pretty dominant alliance i played a SNITCH RAT GAME with exposing plans and i was lied to but like can i get some credit here like first of all it was my fucking ideal to even force a tie, bryce wanted sharky out he didn't want rocks i wanted rocks when my ass was literally on the line here and i was still willing to go to rocks because i don't want to be a fucking goat and do what bryce or sharky wants this is the only way i could get brian SHARKYS #1 ALLY out of the game so that you know who sharky's #1 ALLY IS NOW FUCKING ME. so you know what yeah i'm a goat, greatest of all time actually and i at least deserve some level of credit or respect here to pull some shit off like this. only person on the fucking tribe with the balls to do this shit and i don't even have balls. OK BYE.
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i literally dont have words. i keep having meltdowns and like its so not like me i usually just treat games as fun but im just so upset bc brian went home when we could have prevented it and now im in a spot where annabelle and sharky control things and im basically going to get 5th. i really thought i was doing something and life came at me real quick and said learn ur place KJFSHKJDFHSKJ. like the play anna made was smart so go her i just hate that i got played and that brian left with the vote steal and that my game is ruined and i came so far and i thought i was playing alright also i hate how everyone and their mother keeps calling me out for playing the middle KJSFHFKS like grow up and shade me in ur confessionals not to my face im SENSITIVE AUBRY. basically the point is: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/506665419092918273/541697763788980225/image0.jpg
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I'm SHOCKED. I swore to Annabelle I wouldn't right her name down. And yet she writes my name down! And just as I was thinking I could trust Bryce HE RALLIES VOTES AGAINST ME! I'm so pissed off, and scared, and hurt, and now I have to scramble to figure something out.
Okay let recap everything that has gone down in this 24 hours since I was betrayed. So I talked to Annabelle A LOT. Basically we've talked to each other a ton. I discover that Anna made the plan for the tie and then Bryce was only willing to flip if the vote was for me. SHADY. I knew I should have never trusted him. So basically either I convince Annabelle to save me, everyone goes to rocks, or Matt and Brian flip on me and I go home. I would have said the last one was super unlikely. So I start busting my ass to sway Annabelle. We have really opened up to each other about our games, she is feeling like she has to make a big move. I talked to her about how I feel hurt because I've busted my ass all game to save Anna and Matt and now they both seem unwilling to save me. I tell the guys we just have to be nice but imply to her she stands no shot of making the end without me and how Bryce is going to win. She has no idea we have the vote steal so Brian/Matt would definitely get Bryce out next. So I go to sleep thinking we are making progress. I wake up an Anna is like "Matt was rude to me so I'm definitely not flipping" so I'm starting to feel really hopeless. And then Matt and Brian both started to dodge the idea of rocks. And Anna is telling me Bryce thinks Matt is probably going to flip. So i'm thinking it's over. And in the FB Bois chat Matt and Brian both keep being like "I'm so conflicted" "we'd be guaranteed f4" "blah blah blah" So now I'm realizing these two aren't willing to go to rocks for me. I've spent this whole season trying to save our alliance at any cost. And now that I'm the one in danger...they aren't willing to take the risk. SO now I get it. I've been too nice. If they are going to put their games above mine and aren't willing to risk it so all 3 of us can make F5...I'm going to have to make sure we take that risk because it's my only shot. So I pitch to Anna a way she can get her rocks and I can be safe. We tell them that Anna agrees to save me. That way they think were set and it'll all work out and then it'll go to rocks and I'll be safe. It's super risky and I'm putting all my faith in Annabelle and I feel so scared and guilty and idk but this is the only way I survive and there is a chance Anna goes and it all works out. But...it's also not lost on me that Anna is willing to risk her own game to save me...but my own alliance isn't. I'm feeling...weird.
Brian went home. I...honestly am just feeling horrible. And he was so mad at me. Like mad to the point that I'm worried I ruined a real life friendship over this game. And Matt is furious too and he's going off on me in our group chat which fucking sucks. Like that was the worst case scenario for me. And it sucks. But I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. Like both Brian and Matt were willing to vote me out so they didn't have to go to rocks. They put their game first so why am I a villain for doing the same thing? And they want to be like "we were up front with you about not being sure" like that's supposed to make me feel better. Yeah of course you were honest you weren't the ones in danger. It's easy for y'all to be honest when you're just going to vote me out. I couldn't have been honest with them or they would have flipped and I would have gone home. How do they not see that? Was I supposed to just give up? How is that fair? And how is it that they can vote me out and I just have to accept that but they can't accept that I saved myself. I'm feeling super alone, like I can't trust anybody, and like my best friends won't even take a second to look at it from my point of view. Of course I feel terrible. I just hope this doesn't come between genuine friendships.
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ANNA REALLY JUST CLOCKS ME AND SHE KNOW SHE CAN BC WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO. me matt maynor better be this f3 matt might win tbh but idc! anna has CROSSED ME and like laughs in my face FKJADSHFKAJ like yes ur iconic yes u did #that but im in this game with u and its a lil rude to flaunt ur success at me FKJADSHFAKJ when i do sth good i would never constantly bring it up (btw i won immunity once and got that cute blue color so everyone is jealous prob...) also im so emo i miss dennis and i miss brian they were the 2 ppl who i felt close to in the game and theyre both gone i literally am so upset i feel like if i wasnt so busy before tribal i could have talked to brian more and convinced him he had to vote sharky bc i KNEW anna was voting sharky but he bought her lies and i was convincing enough so i just feel its my fault i lost my closest ally (and his vote steal) although maybe he would have beat me in the end so this is good thing? nope! like i think i played alright in the middle but ppl prob wont respect it and idk if i would bc clearly im biased and maybe i am just a goat and thats why im still in like i rly tried to do sth this round but didnt i just ugh so demotivated hehe but maybe ill snap or sth insert positive uplifting quote here i just hope that i can turn this around and defeat anna and her pet shark. ALTHOUGH ITS LIKE WHERE THE BIG DOG PULLS ITS OWNER AND WALKS IT INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. im so EMO (TION)
yesterday i was feeling a LOT of emotions and now that i have distanced myself i realize that my emotions were VALID and i am perfect and had the RIGHT to be upset that everything went wrong. i am speaking my immunity win into existence it WILL happen. i HAVE done the homework and even if i flop it (which i wont) i will still NOT GO HOME bc matt and maynor are hopefully on my side. OK BUT LIKE IM JUST SO JKAFSHKAJDSFHADSKFJA
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This immunity is very important. We cant let Matt or Sharky win it. We need to have the opinion for them available to be voted out.
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So like.... I am upset and feel very alone now in this game. Brian got rocked out and i was lied to again. I am just like so over it. I feel manipulated when I did have all the power and could've got a big threat out. but NO sharky and anna the fucking dynamic duo they are decided it would be fun to go to rocks! I am just so over it. Im getting fucking 5th place and I am MAD.
OR AM I? I decided to lie last night and say i gave my idol to brian last night. Why? It would paint an even bigger target on my back so i can go idoling. Cause of course I am not dumb enough to go and give my idol away hell naw. Instead, I need to knock sharky out of the immunity comp tonight but then get everyone on my case so they vote me. then boom idol. i know that this should get me to f3. I hope. If sharky goes next, and anna/maynor win FIC. then i know i can get at least maynor with me cause Bryce will then be the clear winner out of us 4. then maybe i will have a shot at the win but eh, need to get there first. I hope to god this can work and if not, final juror here i come!
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I woke up feeling TERRIBLE. I feel so bad about the Brian situation. Matt won't respond because he probably hates me. I feel like a trash person. And tbh I'm questioning if I even deserve to be here.
I feel sick. Literally this is the worst case scenario. If anybody else had won everything would be fine. And now Matt has like given up which makes me even sadder. I'm honestly considering asking everybody to vote me out. So that Matt at least has a shot of making FTC. This sucks.
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I WON IMMUNITY WOOOH IM SO ICONIC IM LITERALLY A LOSING FINALIST AND EVERYONE WANTS ME OUT I FEEL LIKE ILL LOSE IN THE END BUT THAT WONT STOP THESE PPL FROM GIVING ME 4TH WHEN I LOSE THE NEXT IMMUNITY AJKFDSHKFAJ THEYRE ALL LIKE SO VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED I WON IM SO SAD NNNN I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR THEM! i really hope they vote out sharky now bc its literally the smart move but im willing to bet theyll keep him to spite me annas gonna be like sharky needs to stay we get him out NEXT round and maynor might be convinced or sth idk and matt idk askdjfhdkjf i thought we were good but he ghosted me all day today so hm. club 96 nina and tina really falling apart
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Matt is literally shutting down. Like I'm trying to talk with him and mend things and try to rally him so we can figure out how to keep us both safe and honestly he's just not interested. He seems disinterested and honestly he's being kind of a brat. Stop pouting! Sack up and help me fight. Because yes I was selfish last round and that put us in a tough spot but It was never my idea to trust Bryce or my idea to ignore that we had a vote steal to secure our vote at F6. I'm not the only one who made mistakes. So come on and let's freaking recover! Or are we just supposed to lay down and award Bryce the win? UGH
I was really on the brink of asking everybody to vote me out. But Matt is being so useless right now. If he's going to act like that he'll just get picked off at F4. He has no fight. So I'm over it. I really do love him but at this point I'm going to have to just try my best to get Annabelle and Maynor to believe that they stand the best chance at FTC against me, instead of Bryce or Matt. I've already ruined my reputation so I might as well at least try to fight. I feel over everything but I have to get it together.
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The vote hopefully is between Matt and Sharky. I know Bryce really wants Sharky gone. Annabelle and I are talking and seeing which route is the best for us to make it to the end.
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Like wow. My brain is so big. Im pretending that I threw away my idol to brian at the last second, and that I am leaving this round. Whereas in actually reality I still have my idol and sure as heck im playing it tonight and making final 4 YEET. like woe is me, woe is me, lol no bitch im here to stay. Sharky like, needs to leave as well. I love him but 2 big if a threat and I would quite like to well, win.
Oh and as I write this annabelle needs me huh. Well listen here, you lied to my fucking face and got brian out. Thus, you also need to leave bish. I am fed up of being lied 2 constantly by these fuckers called my tribemates and I am NOT here for it anymore. Time to play the lies and deceit game myself huh
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This round is so weird for me. I felt like I was in such a tough place and feeling really defeated. But now Anna is getting paranoid and there is a very slim chance I could get her to to vote Maynor and then Matt and I both make F4. But my issues is I can't trust anybody. Because I don't think anybody trusts me. Like Maynor is being very noncommittal. Anna keeps flip flopping and maybe she'll flip onto me. Matt seems on board but honestly maybe he deeply deeply hates me and is just lying and will vote me out.
There is a little over an hour left before tribal. I'm convinced that it's me going home. Everyone seems to be too easy to agree to vote with me. It's not looking good.
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Literally wtf. The Biggest plot twist of the century is occurring. I'M THE SWING VOTE?? Like since when in hell was I going to be the deciding factor. I mean I like it, I have the power for once and I am safe but still omg i LOVE IT! I am bunsen the Berner in this image, deciding between 2 fates: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzD8lXwUwAAgTlp?format=jpg&name=900x900
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Having a panic attack. Im really nervous. Like i know its between Matt and Sharky. But there is still a chance that somehow me or annabell could still go. I hope it doesnt and its clear cut with Sharky and Matt. Fingers cross. Or imma die.
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i had a good talk with anna today and i kind of love her (as long as she votes sharky) i think maynor might go now which is sad bc anna says matt/sharky are doing that but like matt says that he wants me maynor him f3 so who knows! anna like was honest with me about not knowing who to vote and seems to be voting sharky but literally anything can happen so whomst knows.
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okokok i feel so fucking badly about this move like so badly ughhhhhhhhhh but i feel like it has to happen i'm so so soooo sorry sharky like you have no idea i've been torn all day on what i should do and idk i feel like i lose no matter what this fucking blows
Sharky is voted out 4-1. 
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blookmallow · 8 years
Text
some observations about suspiria mostly about set design/symbolism. lots of me rambling about colors
im probably looking too far into things w/ a lot of this i just like speculating. this ended up being like an entire fuckign essay i am sorry this is so much :’ )
- WATER KEEPS SHOWING UP as i mentioned before and i am nOT sure why,
the film begins and ends with massive amounts of rain
madam markos supposedly died in a fire, fire is the opposite of water
we also see this shot at the end where suzy escapes into the rain while the witches are being burnt up inside
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my guess is just. the usage of water/fire bc water is a cold, purifying substance; water cleanses, washes away, puts out flame, while fire is destructive, produces smoke, kills
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but then we also have these little demon things spitting out water and the building itself soaked in water too
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so i think theres a lil bit of water as distortion/blurred senses/confused perception / water as mystical as well as water as purifying/cleansing 
- blood. horror films do tons of things with blood but whenever blood shows up in suspiria it tends to be like.... very, very bright, which draws your attention strongly to it and gives it a kind of otherworldly sense - might just be an aesthetic thing, or like. how people say witnessing horrific violence in real life feels surreal and impossible so they’ve accentuated it here to heighten that feeling
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the distortion of visuals/sound/etc tends to get the most intense/the highest level of surreal dreamstate feeling when something mysterious/something violent/something otherworldly is happening so that might be related 
- shifting perspectives- a lot of the time when someone was afraid or the music was doing the Danger thing the camera angle would suddenly move and swoop around like a ghost which. again i dont know if that Means Something or is just an aesthetic thing but for me it gave the impression that something was watching them/something unseen was present in the space and it was a rly neat thing
- sound becomes Very Loud and chaotic and overwhelming when characters are scared; really good use of sound to create anxiety, i also could never quite tell whether the characters could hear the sounds or not (there was one instance where sara heard something and was looking around fearfully, i heard the raspy singing/loud theme music thing going on but then she reveals she heard snoring which was lost under the soundtrack so i didnt hear that. so its sort of implying when that sound happens she’s hearing something but not the same thing im hearing)
the main theme plays over and over and over so it gets stuck in your head, im guessing maybe that theme is supposed to signify magic/the witches/Weird Shit is Happening/Someone’s Gonna Die like. the jaws theme/the halloween theme/etc but this one seemed particularly. persistent to the point that its kinda making my head spin at this point 
though repetitive sound/melodies also heightens anxiety and the whole fever dream aesthetic too 
- pink, red, blue, and white. color is huge in this film but i cant tell if any particular color is supposed to have any particular significance (theres also a lot of green and yellow but i didnt notice anything significant enough to connect those to) 
the outside of the building itself is red (except in one shot it looked suddenly really pink, i think that was right before the dog attack??) red usually symbolizes blood, violence, rage, sometimes passion, etc 
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i ended up with a ton of shots of this hallway just bc its.....so good,
the “red room” was where suzy was told to go practice (i dont remember it actually ever being shown though? unless i just forgot or it wasnt actually colored red), the stern teacher lady was shown in a mirror with a red wall behind her and like. red showing up behind her happened a lot (they all turn out to be witches so im not sure why it was specifically her) (coulda been to make the audience suspect her In Particular when in reality its all of them)
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the girls are all dressed in white, which usually symbolizes innocence and/or purity- they become drenched in red/pink when they die (suzy also threw a blanket over the bat before she killed it, im not sure if the blanket was white or pink bc of lighting but red seeped through it from the dead bat) 
there’s also the white sheets in the temporary dorm hall that suddenly turn red when the lights go out 
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white seems to be a kind of canvas for other colors to be shown against 
pink shows up a lot but i couldnt quite figure that one out, mostly red/blue seemed to be the main colors playing against the white 
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im not sure what building this was but this was where i noticed Pink kept happening 
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water washing away red 
im not sure what this was?? because i thought it was wine but. the color and consistency was super weird when she poured it out 
n then sara goes out into the hallway, which is flooded with red light that seems to follow her as she leaves
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she becomes practically drowned in red just before her death
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then we have this neat shot where she moves from the red hallway to the blue room and the shift in colors is projected onto her body because of the white dress
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into complete blue light
the sound is also LOUD and frantic when she’s in red light, and the sudden cut to blue here also completely cuts the sound to total silence; i noticed red/LOUD, blue/silence happened several times after that (maybe it also was before, i didnt notice)
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every time she smashes a window there’s a sudden violent flash of red light that illuminates her (red could also = pain and mental distress) 
im not sure what blue signifies though, blue in contrast to red is cool and pleasing, comforting, calm, but this place isn’t safe or comforting nor does she feel calm or safe in this moment so i have. no idea 
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the window above her appears pink or maybe light purple, it looks like a way out but ends up being the window to her death so maybe the mixture of red/blue danger/safety could be there but. again i dont think blue = safe either
i noticed death-via-window happening a lot too
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but like. this side is also blue. so. i have No Idea
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blue and red blending together over white after the bat scene
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leaving a still/quiet/blue room to go into the red/chaotic noise (i think the sound started at the exact same moment the light became visible too)
red and blue seem to be at war with each other over the set after this point 
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red hallway with blue stained glass panes (and there was a lightning flash here too that flooded the room with blue light for a second)
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this time the still/quiet room has red glow in it, the first color we see in the mystery door into the witches’ chamber is blue (and it was the blue iris that opened it) 
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flashing red and blue on the witches themselves, i took screenshots so id remember what i was gonna say but now i forget if it was rapidly flashing between colors or if there was specifically a blue flash when she drank from the cup 
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escaping into rain but surrounded in red 
i dunno. im not a film major im just a person who likes movies and colors :’) i could be totally off on all of this, maybe none of it means anything and its all just aesthetics, maybe it does mean something and i missed it entirely, i hav no idea but. anyway. there’s my accidental 15 page essay on suspiria and colors thank u goodnight
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kyohiba · 5 years
Text
snow white + prince cursing. jiang cheng and wen ning fix it post canon au
WEN NING TAKING A BLOW TO THE CHEST FOR JIN LING N JC TAKING AN ARROWN TO THE HEART FOR WEN NING LMAO
ssyifpfff🌙 i dig it, havent thot much of it tho
May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 but the idea of wen ning trailing behing sizhui and jc trailing behing jin ling n thm meeting while they keep their respective babies safe os *kisses filgers* DOLCE
May 16 i feel like a whole 4th eye of mine opened to that... but my mind probably wont be able to focus much. i hate how i can only hyperfixate in one or two ships at time
ISNT IT SO DOLCE? FORTÍSSIMO!
yeeting patriarch jiang cheng's hostility decreasing as they kept meeting...
yeeting patriarch perhaps wn and jc could get my ass more than jc with huaisang !?
but nothing will ever get ur ass more thn jc/happiness will it
jiang cheng n huaisang is v Aesthethic bc huaisang is a pretty pretty hoe
ssyifpfff🌙 bUT W WEN NING THERES A LOT OF ANGST
May 16 jc + happiness is all that matters
but... the sweet angst road of wn and jc...
yeeting patriarch IT CAN AND IT WILL LEAD TO HAPPINESS !?
and yea the Appeal of jc ano nhs is that huaisang is Very Pretty plus his scheming charm. but we arent given much canon background to work on this. not that it matters, lord knows we built the content when we really want to make anything
but The Flavor, of the canon background content for jc and wn Is There And It's Stronf
yeeting patriarch nevermind what i said im already ass deep into it. i love both jc and wn way too much, the appeal got me immediately
ssyifpfff🌙 ALSO BC WUXIAN DITCHED BOTH OF THEM FOR THT WANGJI D LMAO
May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 them bonding over how dumb wuxian would act "he would float in the water n pretend he drowned" "yea he told a-yuan he needed to be buried in order to grow big n tall like a raddish" they look at each other n want to laugh but jc doenst know if hes comfortable enough for tht n wn doenst know if hes allowed to
May 16 yeeting patriarch REPRESSED DUMB BABIES LAUGH TO UR HEARTS CONTENTS TOGETHER :(((((
but oh god, the way jiang cheng is,
their road would be So Long
yeeting patriarch another slow burn, uh...
and then so much confusion and conflicted angsty feelings along the way when everything is better because jc was almost forgetting that..........wen ning is dead :) hes a corpse. what future awaits them. this is terrifying
yeeting patriarch ...why cant i have anything nice and just soft. i need to throw angst in or i die?
ssyifpfff🌙 its awful its a terrible idea to ship tht what r u doin
May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 but wen ning being a pure boy, dogs would love him, dogs would gather around him bc he has a Good Aura, n jianc cheng just observes from afar thinkin How can he be so approachable whn hes a fierce corpse
May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 like it would have to start w jc thinkin wen ning is less thn a human u understand
May 16 yeeting patriarch
ssyifpfff🌙 SAJGDASDF
May 16 IM CRYING imagine one day jiang cheng finds wen ning, on the floor, on top of him there are like four different dogs all swaying their tails all that hyper bullshit dogs do.
the incident repeats quite a few times
yeeting patriarch jc notices dogs are drawn to wen ning?
ssyifpfff🌙 he notices MAYBE?? hes not a dangerous zombie after all???
May 16 he lets it slip and asks how wuxian reacted to it
as wwx is terrified of dogs
and wen ning is like. where we... spent most of our time... there were no dogs
(awkward silence timel
ah. ruined it again.
okay 2 take
when they're on those night hunts, wen ning + sizhui & jiang cheng + jin ling
fairy starts being Too Friendly towards wen ning
both jiang cheng and jin ling were initially taken aback by it
yeeting patriarch but as the time goes on... it Softens their heart
ssyifpfff🌙 iT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BC FAIRY IS A SPIRITUAL DOG N IT WOULDNT NVR BE FRIENDLY TO AN EVIL GHOUL SO IT RLY MAKES THM SEE THT WEN NING ISNT A BAD GUY
May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 also take 2 on tht dog thing, wen ning is like "ah wei wuxian made me chase any dogs away, i quite like dogs but i had to" to remind jc of the puppies he had to give away bc of wwx lmao :)
May 16 yeeting patriarch THEY START REALIZING WEN NING IS THE PUREST ANGEL... and opening up, in their tsun ways, with him
yeeting patriarch i like how the canon wen ning art is him with a ginger cat, but for the sake of jiangning we made him a dog person
i honestly picture him being the snow white os mdzs, just all animals gathering around him
bird perching on his shoulders, deer eating from his hands. jiang cheng confused af
hes Prince Not Charming
ssyifpfff🌙 Prince Cursing, if u will
May 16 yeeting patriarch WEN NING SNOW WHITE OF MDZS AND HIS PRINCE CURSING JIANG CHENG IM YELLINGGFFKDJSKSK
yeeting patriarch jiang cheng going thru the trees and shit then he finds wen ning all surrounded by all animals cutely around him, the birds singing, some squirrels on the top of his head, a butterfly kissing his nose and suddenly the scene seem to have 💖Sparkles 💖 around. jiang cheng is like *rubs his eye and looks again* What
ssyifpfff🌙 "hey you... you have some animals on you" n wen ning was just super still he only focuses on jc "Oh yes. they do this sometimes. its ok i enjoy it"
May 16 ssyifpfff🌙 "everytime i wake up theres a few little ones on me, they must think im a rock or something" jiang cheng, internally, seein all the animals: CLEARLY THEY ENJOY IT TOO???
May 16 yeeting patriarch JIANG CHENG MACHINE BROKE
ssyifpfff🌙 MEAN JIANG CHENG.EXE STOPPED WORKING
May 16 PRECISELY HENSKLDGSKLS
i would like the idea of, somewhere farther into the future,
some cultivator bitch being mean to wen ning and by instinct jiang cheng ends up standing for wen 5
wen ning*
but then hes a sect leader and...
yknow how it wouldnt work
yeeting patriarch BUT A NYARI CAN DREAM!?
THEY CAN AT LEAST BE ... LIKE.... PHILTATOS
ssyifpfff🌙 MOST BELOVED
May 17 jiang cheng has responsibilities but thEY CAN BE LIKE YOU KNOW.... CASUAL
ssyifpfff🌙 they dont gotta marry. not every couple can be wangxian
May 17 PHILTATOSSSSSSSS
tbh im all in for casual couples too
yeeting patriarch not everyone needs or can have Marriage
hmmmmmm the more jc starts seeing The Light in wn, when they're at the middle of the road,
yeeting patriarch more tangled his emotions get?
he was supposed to LOATHE wen ning but then he sees what happened wasnt wen nings fault. hes angry, who to blame then? wuxian! but it also isnt entirely wwx's fault he lost the control, the dark cultivation is a dangerous path after all... and wwx had a lot on his shoulders... and most of all: it was the only path he could follow without his golden core :) the very golden core that now resides inside jc. who should he blame? who should he hate?? Himself???
yeeting patriarch goddammit can i stop with the suffering
me: snow white au hehe you, chaotic bastard: what if jiang cheng hated himself lmao
i hate specifically tht iT MAKES SENSE
ssyifpfff🌙 HE SPENT. OVER A DECADE BLAMING WEN NING N WUXIAN N TO REALIZE HE WAS WRONG, HE WASTED ALL THOSE YEARS. WHOS HE GONNA TURN THT HATE TOWARD??? HIMSELF OFC!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!!1
May 17 HOLD UP THAT I GRAB BOTH OF US TO JUMP INTO THE HELL HOLE BUT I CAN ALSO SAVE US
listen up,
one day all those feelings that keep growing and bottling up inside jc overflow and he explodes in yelling and tears and etc
wen ning, whom was with him, witness all that
yeeting patriarch and tries to soothe his state of mind
yeeting patriarch telling him that it's no one's fault. none of them couldve known what would happen. all sides had their good intentions here and there, but unfortunately fates can twist it in a way they never expected
BUT THEN jc returns with an "then why do u look like u blame yourself as well?" BECAUSE WEN NING DOES
yeeting patriarch sorry apparently the half brain cell i have working, only does suffering hours
"THEN WHY DO U BLAME URSELF"
nyari u sAID U COULD SAVE US
ssyifpfff🌙 wen ning is like "..............." jiang cheng: i know it wasnt anyones fault but then what am i supposed to feel? who am i supposed to hate??"
May 17 yeeting patriarch IM LAUGHINGS O MUCH IM NOT BRSTJINENSKS
wen ning is like No one. there isnt any1 to blame anymore
ssyifpfff🌙 im franctically tryin to make it bETTER NYARI LEND ME A HAND DAM IT
May 17
MY THROAT HURTS IM TOO BROKE LIKE (MANIC LAUGHTER)
yeeting patriarch okay lemme get myself back together and try to offer some fix it
yeeting patriarch me: *shaking, weakly offering a tiny ass pink hello kitty band aid* This Will Fix Everything (the hell hole im offering the band aid for is like 17cm)
yeeting patriarch wen ning goes confident mode again and says that he cant help it as much jc and wwx, all of them will feel guilty no matter what anyone says. they tried their best but it backfired and they will need, they have to, learn how to live in terms with it. not forgetting, but still forgiving themselves and each other
wen ning obv has the wisdom of some1 who has died, seen death, been death, and come back to life
he has an appreciation for the little things no others would have
if any1 could emotionally guide jc it wOULD BE HIM1!
ssyifpfff🌙 "i have regrets too, but theres no choice for any of us but to live w them n learn"
May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 ALSO
May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 i think wen nings sensibility woULD BE SO GOOD FOR JC, hes always tense he needs a break of him just being so still tht birds can perch on his shoulders
May 17
WEN NINGGGGGGGGG
yeeting patriarch he'll literally become jc's heaven sent angel... his solace and calm
like, after that breakdown and the things wen ning said
yeeting patriarch jiang cheng actually does feel... Lighter
wen ning boutta be jiang chengs therapist
ssyifpfff🌙 its what he needs
May 17 but as jiang cheng starts dealing better with his internal demons
he starts seeing more too that wen ning isnt only light
wen ning carries his pain too, inevitably
and jc starts to help wn as well
yeeting patriarch each other's company start being the healing they needed?
woke
ssyifpfff🌙 jiang cheng teached wn confidence and wen ning teaches jiang cheng stillness and softness
May 17 i teared up here
after The Wen Ning Effect, and jiang cheng softening. people of his sect start to be... less afraid of him? AND BETTER, the respect level only grows!
jiang cheng realizing there is strength in softness too
that to be tender doesnt mean to be weak
of course his actions arent Oh, Super Obvious as he is a tsun
yeeting patriarch but u can feel The Difference on his aura
YOU HAVE TO BE SOFT TO BE STRONG JIANG CHENG
ASKJDAJSDGF
ssyifpfff🌙 I KNOW THAT WHEN LOVE IS LOST..............
May 17 yeeting patriarch I LOVE HOW IN SYNC WE ARE MY MIND ALSO WENT SOFT TO BE STRONF .MP3
ssyifpfff🌙 WE'VE KNOWN IT ALL ALONG THE TRUTH IS............ YOU HAVE TO BE S
May 17 yeeting patriarch ME, ON THE FLOOR, SOBBING, SINGING ALONF,
ssyifpfff🌙 EXTREME MOOD RN
May 17 yeeting patriarch we did done it again and again... i cannot believe it
honestly if the ppl in his sect see tht jc has the ghost general over for tea they'd be like Wow sect leader cheng rly is amazing
ssyifpfff🌙 hes so fearless
May 17 im tearing up again
HMMMMMMMMM his relationship with wen ning also being a bridge for some fixing for his relationship with wuxian...........
takes so much time and it's slow
but
after he took it all in, and especially wen nings words that he shouldn't forget to forgive, and has to live with it
he starts Understanding the events. that is was inevitable. and that the anger would not help nor be good for any of them
yeeting patriarch that for the ones around them (like jin ling) they need to... overcome it
*sobbing* wen ning even helping him to overcome his inferiority complex !?
yeeting patriarch making jc see that this and this sides of him are greater and make up for this and this other ones. that he, too, was of vital importance on here and there
tht the ppl around him look up to him, tht they dont compare him to wuxian, tht the strenght he has shown isnt just coming from his golden core but from his choices as well
from his leadership
also jiang cheng realizing yanli wouldnt want him to hate
ssyifpfff🌙 the worst part abt yanlis death is tht we dont ever hear her last words
May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 she doesnt get to finish sayin thm, we dont know what she was gonna say to wuxian n i firmly believe tht if she has finished n she had said she didint blame him, thn jiang cheng wouldnt have been as hung up on hate as he was
May 17 yeeting patriarch
yeeting patriarch tbh yanli... she just Understood more. faster than the two dense dumbasses
SHE WAS SO BRIGHT
AND MATURE
ssyifpfff🌙 I MISS HER EVERYDAY
May 17 and it's like. Obvious she wouldnt want them to be that way. she would want them to understand the terms of the situation and overcome it TOGETHER
IM SO SAD SHE DESERVED BETTER :(((
but after jiang cheng learns how to deals with his demons,
and most important of all: Grows (emotionally)
he starts seeing things a bit more like his sister would
yeeting patriarch WWYLD (What Would YanLi Do)
yeeting patriarch hmm now what's left is his daddy issues
WWYLD!!!!!
sadasdfsf the fuck jiang dad
ssyifpfff🌙 can u believ wen ning is jiang chengs love+fear era
May 17 hmmmmmmmm let's say that as he watches himself raise jin ling he starts to understand his dad couldn't be easy on him. and that he Had To be softer on wwx's for his situations
i cant go deeper on this one because his dad messed up
yeeting patriarch but let's say that was really the case,
ssyifpfff🌙 yes theres no excuse for his dad, he had a soft spot for wwx n his favoritism showed
May 17 ssyifpfff🌙 its more like, its important for jc to Know it doesnt matter, he grew up to be a good leader n tht proved his dad wrong
May 17 IT'S HARD TO FIND A SITUATION OUT OF HIS DAD REASONS he messed up
BUT!!! YES!!!!!!!
learn to let go of those feelings towards his dad
yeeting patriarch and the day it finally fully clicked inside him that he became an amazing sect leader, he proved it
it's also important that he could realize having wwx golden core inside him means as if wwx really kept his promise
he stayed by his side
yeeting patriarch a very important piece of wwx will always be with him
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survivorkomnata · 5 years
Text
Episode #10: “ I'm a fucking Virgo. If you burn me I will never forget it.” - Jess
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Dear Alyssa,
For someone who claims to have a HUGE interest in Astrology.... you seem to have forgotten the fact that I'm a fucking Virgo. If you burn me I will never forget it. You declared war and that's on YOU.
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i hate this “we only start talking an hour before tribal” nonsense that this merge tribe has going on. like pls get your lives together sooner. i don’t even message ppl anymore bc we just do the “yaaa i haven’t heard anything” “me either” back and forth
i feel pretty hopeless in the game i’m ngl, fully think we should just wrap it up now and give zach the win
alyssa is an emotional and illogical player who came into the merge with the goal of miguel and luke being voted out for voting against her premerge. she didn’t think of the long term, only revenge. it’s embarrassing.
i don’t rly have an endgame path. or anything anymore. i miss luke and stephen.
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So, yesterday was a bit of blindside for me. Not even really because Luke left, I woke up that morning willing to vote him out myself, but because I was unable to get Karth, Tim, or Alyssa on my side. I don't think any of them are truly "against me" at this point but it's a little worrying that Luke left over Jake, who I still don't really have a strategic relationship with.
Alyssa confronted me last night saying that other people had gone to her and said that I was planning to target her once Jake was gone. This isn't exactly true, but it has enough basis in reality since I have talked in the "4-elements" alliance about how we should target Jake before going after Alyssa. I'm not sure who went to her with this idea, nor do I know if she was even approached with it in the first place. Alyssa has deceived me for 2 votes now. First, she outright lied to me about voting Zach out at F10 (I still don't technically have confirmation of this, but it makes sense that she'd take out Luke/Miguel as soon as possible). More evidence supporting that she lied is that the former Kato2.0 side decided to vote Luke out next, which would be odd if he was the one to flip to their side at the first merge vote.
The second thing she lied about was being on the fence at this last tribal council.  After Luke was gone she told Jess that we "should've known she didn't want Jake out" despite her never saying that to us. It's clear that Alyssa had planned to vote Luke out as soon as she knew this would be a 5-4 vote. But she lied to me about that and wasted my time up until the very last minute.
Basically, what I'm saying is... it's getting exhausting to try and work with her strategically. It's not like Ally/Jess/Karth, who I feel I can talk frankly and honestly with. I want her and Jake gone. Jake hasn't really "wronged" me in anyway, but I can tell him and Alyssa have to at least be a little close so the jury can have both of them. Honestly, I kinda want them both gone more than Zach at this point. I'm doing my best to win this upcoming immunity challenge so people stop going behind my back, but if Zach were to win.. well... I certainly have a few alternatives in mind.
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I am feeling a bit stuck in this game. With Zach in the game I feel my game is pretty restricted and I would feel too bad to backstab him. I already felt bad for voting Luke. I just dont know what to do here.
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i have no idea what’s happening
zach and karth have reached out to me about potentially trying to reconcile and ofc i’m open to that
i’m kinda worried they’re voting jess out and i hope not bc i love her
i wish i had any kind of idea what i was doing
i wish luke didn’t get voted out
i wish this idol search made sense
i wish i was a little bit taller i wish i was a baller
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So apparently Zach and Jake are throwing around Stephen's name with my name as an alternative. I'm not surprised at all at this rate. I figured this would happen as soon as I took my strike at both Zach and Jake.
The only possible saving grace from this all is that both Alyssa and Tim let me know about it. This kind of gives me a glimmer of hope that both of them aren't willing to at least vote me out at this stage in the game. If they'd did.. they'll look like idiots because I'm playing such a horrible game. I have yet to make a big move or win an immunity, I don't have any solid alliances aside from "The Last Hope" which honestly just a circumstantial alliance and most likely we die soon. Taking me at this point is ridiculous because I'm literally the perfect person to sit final 3 with right now.
My game plan at least now is.. I want either Zach or Jake to go. If I can work the angle of Jake or Zach trying to get me out as a way to sway people who think I'm their best friend in this game... yeet. If not I am dead and I will write my own eulogy....
If I get voted out because I lost immunity by 1 point.. I WILL FUCKING RIOT.
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Ok so sorry for the lack of confessionals going on I have a lot (of good things) happening in my life atm. Anyways, I got sent to the basement which sux and now the vote is super stressful!!! I'm pretty much pulling a lot of strings within the tribe atm and trying to balance it all! I have Zach and Jake in my pocket completely!! Jake and Alyssa are like on my coat tail and Jess/Stephen/and Ally are in their grave ready to be destroyed lmaoo. Fingers crossed I don't go home.
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im vulnerable, and it's an hour til tribal. i'm unsure of what's going to happen. here's a quick recap:
A - i go to ally/stephen to encourage reconciling. i think this is genuinely smart as we are all 'big threats' and it's stupid to let middle players slide by while helping pin bigger threats against one another. they basically end up agreeing (more so stephen). B - alyssa and tim come to me (separately) saying that they are throwing my name around, and tim goes even further to say that they want to split between me / jake. this sounds really believable based on track record. C - ally pms me saying that she heard X told Jess who told her that i'm targeting stephen. i say it's true, but under the circumstances that people are saying they are going after me. D - we talk in the "alliance" chat and come to a conclusion that jake should be the vote as he best fits the "middle player" role, thus being dangerous. though i disagree, i'm in no position to bury karthik/tim in a hole. E - with karthik spearheading, i help flip the vote from stephen to jess. this is because jess will weaken that side, and i don't trust her. at all. on top of that, it helps me not worry as much abt alyssa being sketchy & it keeps my promise 2 stephen/ally in the sense of not voting stephen (and i can argue saying that with them lying at merge, i had to be reaaaalllllyyyy cautious). F - i'm unsure about my idol. it could still happen. right now i'm leaning towards playing my idol because i want it GONE. by using this idol, here are the outcomes: F.1 - the vote is 4-4 or even more slanted, and i idol successfully, meaning jess will leave this game. F.2 - i receive 0 votes and completely waste it. this makes me more vulnerable, but also, could help if i utilize it correctly/effectively. F.3 - I receive 3 votes (give or take) and it's ineffective but shows that i can't trust ally/stephen and by attachment, jess (who should be gone). i guess my preferred order would be F1 -> F3 -> F2 just because if i use it, i want it to be as effective as possible since wasting an idol isn't going to help my case at FTC (which is already weak LSDGKDSLGDSH).
my gut is really sick (as always bar f9.. so just f10). i don't THINK i'm getting any votes, but u can never be too sure. to elaborate on the entire point of 'F', i want to go over pros n cons of idolling (and wasting it). PROS: - no more paranoia for me (GOD BLESS) - i'm much more vulnerable, meaning they may not target me (double-sided) - im 100% safe regardless, and in f7. CONS: - im more vulnerable; easier to target. - ppl are shook bc i dont trust them/ didnt tell them - its wasted and doesnt help my FTC case.
and lastly, who has the idols? [based on tribe idols] CONFIRMED: me . (OG Takagi idol) LIKELY: alyssa (the only person who could have two) COULD POSSIBLY HAVE ONE: stephen (someone probs has attila, i think itd be him or alyssa). karthik (basement king, but def not tribal idol probs .) jake (og kato, could have the kato idol). NOT LIKELY: tim (og takagi/nu-kato. both idols were gone, so i doubt it. but, maybe basement??) jess (unless she worked w alissa n found attalia, it's no) DEFINITELY NOT: ally (was on OG Takagi (my idol) and takagi post-swap, so unless swap idol, N/A).
Jess is voted out 5-3. She becomes the fourth member of our jury.
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you know what who cares about clarity? have an incoherent ramble about pb, how she treats lemonhope, a couple parts about lemongrab, and proof that phlannel boxingday is the best Dad™ in the entirety of adventure time below the cut
I would die for phlannel boxingday he's so good for lh he is the Best father in the entire series and I almost cRied about it
there's a lot of shitty dads in advtime and a lot of dads that could do better but aren't like malevolent, and there's also phlannel, the best damn guy with the kindest fucking heart in the entire show, and he kills giant sentient birds for a living
Listen h
Wait am I about to cry rant about the one off character again
Yeah here goes he was so good he. I mean. I mean. He's so patient and understanding and gentle and lh nEEDS that h he was fucking broken up in his home and then pb spirited him away and put the fate of his entire family on his shoulders and treated him like he was Very Smart And The Chosen One But Would You Just Fucking TRY. and phlannel grabs him away and goes look. you're a good kid. and maybe you can save your family. but you can't beat yourself up over it, you can't put all that weight on your shoulders. you are able to go save them if you want but you are one of many champions in this world, and someone else will do it if you can't. and until then I'm going to keep you fed and clothed and be a person you can come to with anything, because I have no ulterior motives. I really literally don't. 
and every t ime he talks to him he talks low and gentle, he points things out like how he IS a smart kid he REALLY is he just learns differently, he doesn't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do like every other adult figure in his life has up to this point. he knows he has nightmares so obviously lh feels safe enough w him to talk to him about things like that, or he just pays attention and like. knows he keeps waking up screaming and instead of going "ha that's fine," he goes "kids shouldn't be waking up screaming so I'm going to keep an eye on it," he picks up on lh's concerns and gently tells him it isn't his fault when he drops things,
Like ok here's my thing. I know first impression pb is rly nice, yadda yadda I wrote a whole thing (didn’t post it tho lmao) abt how the Ugly Candy People seem to be the worse off ones and that might be her doing if it isn't just coincidence, and I don't feel like getting into that. but . here's my thing abt the lemonhope two parter and pb
Like first off I'm still pissed she put him in a Special School like. how transparent can you be. she's playing favorites and she's raising him for a specific purpose of being a champion. but it's not like, extracurricular champion school, bc she's clearly trying to also teach finn geometry. or maybe she's just. 
Idk but it seems really fucjibg phony. like. just set him up in a school where he can socialize and learn in an environment structured for teaching and socializing. I know lemon ppl don't Get Along With Others but like. singling him out is just. mmmmm don't like that
Anyways so that's one thing but like. she seems to be such! a nice and understanding lady right? she's soft and sweet and she's dangerous when she needs to be, but like. I know we all know she's kind of a dick and she monitors everyone in her kingdom closely to the point of creepiness, etc etc we know. but like. u know what really gets me in the lh two parter is just. how ......inconsiderate? she is maybe? 
like . yeah she wants to fix what went wrong (lg’s cannibalism and like tyranny etc). she can't or won't do it herself ('can't' meaning she's legally not allowed to, but what the fuck is lg gonna do to her? she can destroy him with a fucking flick of her wrist and literally the only person gaining anything from him locking up his kingdom on every legal level possible is himself if that, and we all know his earldom is quite literally overpopulated.So she has nothing but principle stopping her from barging in and demanding he stop, to protect all the other citizens he's hurting. He'll do anything she asks. like maybe once it got bad he wouldn't, maybe he started to realize she never cared about him and she never would, but honestly even if he did start to realize that, if she fucking walked in the door and said she needs to talk he'd be putty in her fingers. he'd listen and do everything she asks of him, and none of the lemon people are gonna fuvkinh stop her. they either know to fear her from lg or stories or experience, or they just know she's their boss's boss, so to speak, and would deliver her right to lg or just let her pass. Right? unless lg has them on orders to like. kill on sight or something. but those poor kids aren't any match for pb and pb's no idiot, she'd take backup or she'd straight up murder them. there's literally no reason for her to not go. she's gonna respect politics now? NOW? She's a fucjibg monolith and she does whatever the fuck she wants no matter what kingdom she's walking into, and now that her son is hurting every single person he's ever loved, NOW she decides she Can't Just Interfere? Fuck you) but uh since she can't/won't do it herself she needs lh to. ok. fine. But like. over and over she repeatedly treats him poorly, like...... like yeah ok she isn't Being Mean but. idk. you take a scared little kid out of his abusive family, then you repeatedly make him see what his siblings are going through now that he's gone, and tell him over and over that it's up to him to make them stop being hurt?
The lemon people are all just babies ? like ok they're not BABIES they're their own ppl but . but they're. so young of COURSE they believe what pb said and what lg2 said, that lh needs to come back for them; HE got away, so so can they, and he's gonna be the one to do it. They're poetic and tragic like the fire kingdom, but grittier and less pretty and performative. of course they'd latch onto the only hero they were given.
but like. to lh it was probably more like. this lady came and took me away from my family so they'd stop hurting me, but she left all my siblings behind, and now she's telling me I have to be the one to save them? lmao no you do it yourself. you did it once you can do it again.
so uh
so lh's adult interaction so far seems to have been like. 
wait was he one of the ones they made originally or is he a second gen lemon person/ someone lg2 made with lollipops like in that one fanfic 
assuming he was in the FIRST BATCH because I'm mean I guess, his adult interaction has been two people who adore me with all their hearts but can't figure out how to feed me-> probably some affection in here somewhere bc he had to get that harp from someplace -> guy who fucking electrocutes us and other guy who's too scared to stop him -> oh shit what the fuck -> lady who got me out of that situation but won't save my siblings and keeps pretending I'm someone I'm not
u know what, I think that's her whole problem
she made lg to be her heir, that's good, but he didn't act how she expected and she couldn't figure out how to support him, so she sent him away (much as I like to say she did it bc like. neddy was antisocial and scared of ppl too and he was ok if he was kept alone so maybe that was all lg wanted too,,,,, like there was still no reason to throw him at the very fucking edge of ooo aight. get him a house in the grasslands or something.). she tried to help him, realized she was making it worse and actually hurting him, so she tried to help again and it worked, bc all lg wanted was to be loved and not to be told over and over (symbolically) that he was REALLY unwanted, but still begrudgingly needed bc he's the only heir to the throne. so getting a friend who wouldn't hate him for who he was was all he wanted. so she did good and kinda let it be for a while. 
but he also really wanted his mothers love, and he tried to act like her so she'd appreciate him or even notice him. so he makes kids for her, he realizes this makes him and his brother happy (HAPPY), and can't stop doing it because he's alone with his brother and their newborn children and no one's telling them to stop. she fixes it, she lets it be.
He's still unwanted. she still hates him. she hates ppl who don't act how she wants them to. she HATES the duke of nuts whose only crime is eating her pudding (possible she hates him bc he's just So Good And Kind, too, and it's fishy), she clearly doesn't treat all her citizens equally (do you see how trashed some of the backstreets are? I mean maybe people are just smashing them faster than she can fix them, but like. I don't know. I don't feel good about it.), she won't fucking talk to the literal heir to her throne (i don’t thiiink he’s been replaced yet?) except when he makes a mess and needs someone to help him fix it. and then she does it as minimally as possible. she sends fnj to fix it or smth. she just. Really wants nothing to do with her failures I guess. maybe that's it. he woke up screaming and needing things other candy people don't need, and she called him her own personal failing. maybe she feels like she let him down by not making him so he could be happy in her kingdom. maybe she blames herself but instead of working with him and supporting him, she gives him anything he asks for and otherwise avoids contact with him like the plague. 
Anyways so what she wanted was a cute, competent candy person to take her throne right? and she goes to his kingdom and she wanders around and like. no one here is her kind of normal. they're all ugly and deformed and squawky and everything's yellow. and to lg and lg everything is BEAUTIFUL, those are their beloved babies that they risked their lives to have, but she doesn't know that, she just knows that MAN those lgs are weird, and when I try to help them, they get mad and lash out at me.
by her first failed experiment she means the first one that made her feel like she was capable of making mistakes that ruin lives. like even if we call that one comic canon, with that Sweet Pink Goop she made before lg, that goop didn’t seem sentient, let alone capable of feeling the consequences of being alive and different from the other candy people
she looks around and she tries to figure out what she doesn't understand. right? in too old. like maybe getting away from them and looking around their house will give her insight into why her heir won't just act like her, won't just be normal and quiet and do what she expects people to do, why she can't figure out how to help him without making him angry (and scared and hurt), figure out what it is HE expects, because he's a person too.
And she finds someone who ISN'T deformed or ugly or weird, she finds someone who honestly wouldn't be out of place (looks wise) in her candy kingdom. and he's bemoaning his unfair treatment and he's dressed in rags and he's alone and he's young and he's talented. 
And he's what she meant to make in the first place. Someone soft and cute, but with whatever traits she'd been looking for in an heir, presumably. someone who can rule a kingdom decently in her place, even better than her, i have my own hcs about that lmao. he’s someone who doesn't flinch when she touches his shoulder, who doesn't have such a cold stare, or such a shrill and uninviting voice. he's small and he's young and he's soft and he's talented and he's being mistreated
and like. she saw other kids getting publicly electrocuted and she saw lg hitting his brother and she saw the fucking evidence of really violent mistreatment, and she went ":/" until she saw someone who she could sympathize with.
and lh isn't who she thinks he is. He's a lemon person, he's Lemongrab's son (or... grandson or like. nephew. I don't know. young relative or like juvenile member of his species.) he's not a candy person, but he looks like one. he's symmetrical and visually healthy. so she gets maternal and concerned, because now it doesn't look like lg's hurting people she doesn't want to even look at let alone worry about (asshole). now to her it looks like he's neglecting and harming a young kid. And they're all young kids, they're all pretty new, they're all people and they're all being hurt. but she can't bring herself to care what he does so long as he’s hurting people she doesn’t care about, that's his business; when she gets involved he threatens to kill her or he upsets her people or whatever. but when she sees someone who looks like a person, who looks like a person of hers, who looks like a kid and who looks like a healthy kid being abused (chubby and healthy but tattered and shock collared and locked in a bathroom, as opposed to like. another lemon person walking around in nice clothes and a shock collar) she gets him out
and she plays on his feelings, she goes, you're the kid I always expected to raise. you're the kid I was supposed to raise to become a shining champion of my kingdom. I made lg, and he turned out wrong and I dropped him as far off the face of the earth as I could, and now I have Finn to be my champion. but you, you need to be great, still. you need to be my shining star. You need to go back and do what lg2 told you to do in his Fuvking Dying Breaths, because like, suddenly me and him are on the same page I guess. 
I don't super blame lg2 for putting all that on lh's shoulders tbh. He's not much older than the kids, really, and like I said, they're all poetic and tragic. and lg2 was getting eaten too so like can you really blame him for anything at that pt. he doesn't know pb really, all his interactions with her were probably Not Bad but lg hates her and would also do anything for her so lg2 probably hates her a little by association. You're the one who hurt my brother and hurt him and hurt him and hurt him, why should I trust you to come get my children away from a dangerous situation? how do I even know if you consider this a dangerous situation? glob for all he knows she electrocutes her people too when they don't please her. for all he knows this is normal.
actually no I give him more credit than that. he might not know if pb considers it normal or not but the fact that lg fucking destroys his spirit when just months ago he was telling him he was the best thing in his entire life, yeah, he knows hurting your kids isn't normal, he knows hurting your life partner isn't normal, he knows maybe how lg came to this conclusion, but he won't tolerate it if he can help it
Anyways I love him?
so in conclusion pb treats lh like he's a candy person when he's NOT, and phlannel boxingday is the absolute purest most wholesome character to ever walk into that fucjibg TV series and he's the only one who treats lh the way he needs to be treated - like a person, like a smart person, like a person who's been abused and been put on a pedestal, like a person with his own needs and experiences that are different from maybe what you'd expect or wish. That's my conclusion. It's 11 fucking pm I need my dam slEEP
real quick summary bc I think I see where I was trying to go with this long ramble: pb's inconsiderate in that she treats him like a gifted candy person, not a gifted lemon person, let alone just a scared little kid who's been really neglected and abused. she at least seems to just kinda ignore the whole thing where he gets defensive and... grabby? idk bc he grew up in a house where he was hungry and ignored and hurt
idk
you give a kid who was raised in a house where he's always hungry and competing with his siblings for food two cupcakes do you really think he's going to share them
especially when it's very clear that you have many cupcakes
do you really think so
also just. if we go w saying a LOT of lg's quirks come from him parroting how pb treated him, idk she just. doesn't do a great job of not treating lh the same way. sure she apologizes when she calls him unacceptable but still I get the feeling she treats him more like lg did than she'd like to think.
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sasuke420 · 8 years
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1-65 except the ones you already did
ok this is A LOT so sorry if you’re on mobile
1: Do you have a crush at the moment?
answered
2: Have you ever been deeply in love?
answered
3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?
like........unofficially almost 2 years but official a combination of 2 months then 7 or 8 months idfk 
4: Have you ever changed for someone?
i absorb the personality of everyone i ever talk to but like, not intentionally
5: How is your relationship with your ex?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i hope we never speak again or if we do it’s just so i can be like FUCK YOU again tbh,
6: Have you ever been cheated on?
nah
7: Have you ever cheated?
nope
8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?
what the fuck no
9: What's the most important part of a relationship?
umm......communication? trust? all those words people throw out that are true and real but i love being very open at all times so truly communication
10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
serious i guess? my last “fling” was kind of a disaster so idk 
11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?
NOPE NOPE NOPE almost fell for that bullshit and it’s basically what ended my last relationship so absolutely not no thanks!!! not for me
12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
i hate the phrase hooked up bc it could mean anything from kissing to sex so i never know how to answer this?! i already made a post the other day sayin ive kissed 4 people so theres that i guess 
13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
answered
14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
idk you do you but like, personally before like........16 seems too dangerous imo bc you are Children but as long as it’s safe and whatever idk
15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?
no bc it’s usually used by predatory older dudes but i mean age differences are fine as long as it’s not creepy and terrible. but don’t say this as a 24 year old dude as an excuse to date a high schooler
16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?
answered
17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?
that’s like, exclusively what’s happened to me so, yeah
18: What do you consider a deal breaker?
i don’t have like a specific list in my mind or like one THING i cannot tolerate but i guess a huge one would be anything having to do w not tolerating mental illness bc that is my entire personality
19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
when they make you feel shitty more than they make you feel happy
20: Are you currently in a relationship?
nop
21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
yeah i’ve seen it happen and work out fine
22: Do you think people should date their friends?
sure why not, it’s nice to be friends then have it turn into something or whatever. i like relationships based off of friendships 
23: How many relationships have you had?
um i’d really only count like, one, so......1
24: Do you think love can last forever?
yeah i love happy old couples
25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?
um.......not really??? that’s like, a big statement, 
26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?
no because i dated someone my parents disliked for a long time
27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
answered
28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?
absolutely tho i’m not huge on them for myself
29: What do you notice first about another person?
answered
30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?
me all the time: IM GAY AS HELL
but really i’m bi 
31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
answered
32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
haha........................................................................................yeah and it’s fucked up my entire psyche so (-:
33: Do you want to get married one day?
yeah!
34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?
sounds like a very bad idea and also wouldn’t even be like aesthetically pleasing so no thanks
35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?
probably? idk
36: Are you still a virgin?
no i’m a sinner
37: What's more important: Looks or personality?
personality but obviously i like people that i am physically attracted to so.....i mean its both but i am very big on personality which is why hookups arent rly my thing too much
38: Do you enjoy love films?
do i enjoy them? i will SOB at them, so, 
39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?
nope
40: Have you ever had a valentine?
answered i think
41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?
getting drunk and taking a nap together
42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?
i did for school in like 8th grade 
43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?
gotta get that balance. don’t neglect either of them
44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?
i call myself a hopeless romantic constantly
45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?
yes
46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?
fake concept. i had high school crushes that never went anywhere but that doesnt mean friendzoned really so no
47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?
i don’t pay attention to thos things honestly................mulder and scully
48: What's your favorite love song?
i have an entire playlist of love songs, hmu for it, but ummm probably first day of my life if thats considered a love song
49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?
eh. kind of. complicated
50: If you're single, why do you think you are?
i’m ugly
(bc i have been single for like...2 months and thos things dont come fast)
51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?
poor but nice guy 100%
52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?
ehhhhhhhhhhhhh not really i mean sometimes? i don’t know it depends on the situation 
53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?
LOL.............yes i am known to get kinda salty
54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?
eh. i like having it be Official and known as a thing but other than that idk
55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?
i will cling to you with the force of a thousand suns (but try to play it cool and fail yikes)
56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?
nah he did that (side eye emoji)
57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?
me: i’m going to kill myself when we break up
so like, no, but don’t do it because i didn’t and that was a dumbass mindset
58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?
the MOST submissive you will ever meet, in your entire life, please dominate me
59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?
answered i think
60: What's your opinion on open relationships?
whatever works for u but probably not my thing
61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?
my siblings can fuck off but parents and partner are both important
62: How do you define "cheating"?
????????? is there more than one definition??? its fuckin cheating. dont flirt or do shit w other people. 
63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?
it doesn’t make me feel awesome to think about but it’s not like, an issue
64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?
me when im single: yes
me if i was in a relationship: NO (HEART EYES X1000)
65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?
WOULD I? CONSIDER????????????? I DONT CONSIDER ANYTHING. I KNOW FOR A FUCKING FACT I AM. i will cuddle 24/7 365 baby
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