#His death is the sign we await! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

loveesiren · 25 days ago

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𝖥𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 (𝖯𝗍. 3)

Thanos x american!reader | Forever Masterlist

a/n: I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this series! There will be one more main part after this but don't worry, I'm not done with these two ;)

synopsis: Y/n and her friends were finally free from the games, but even worse things awaited her on the outside.

warnings: angst, quick smut, language, strained maternal relationship, death/funeral, Thanos being the best ever, brief reference to outer banks (tv show)

wc: 5.8k+

The gentle sound of crashing waves pulled you from the depths of your slumber. At first, it was just a muffled background noise, blending with the faint cries of seagulls overhead. But as consciousness crept in, the brightness of the sun pierced through your eyelids, forcing you to raise your hand to shield your face. You squinted against the light, blinking rapidly to adjust.

The sharp, salty breeze of the ocean filled your lungs as you sat up too quickly, dizziness washing over you like a tidal wave. A sudden jolt of pain radiated through your shoulder, and you whimpered, instinctively clutching it. The events of the night prior came flooding back with the force of a storm. The chaos, the fear, and the searing pain as Nam-gyu’s fork tore into your flesh. You hesitated before peeling back your sleeve to inspect the damage—four neat rows of stitches marked your shoulder, angry and red.

Your gaze drifted downward to your thigh, where another wound had been treated with six stitches. The sight of them was jarring, the pain tethering you to the reality of your ordeal. Shaking, you pressed your palms to your temples, trying to make sense of where you were and how you’d gotten here. The last thing you remembered was the relief of pressing the X button, your vote finally freeing you from the hellish games. And now, you were lying on a beach, wearing the same tight black dress you’d had on the day you dialed the number from the strange little card.

It didn’t feel real.

You pushed yourself to your feet, your legs unsteady beneath you. The sand was warm and soft beneath your toes. The rhythmic sound of waves was almost calming, but a nagging sense of unease twisted in your gut. You scanned the beach, your heart hammering when you spotted a figure sprawled out a few yards away. Without thinking, you ran toward them.

As you got closer, the figure looked more familiar. “Se-mi!” you cried, your voice breaking as you dropped to your knees beside her. “Se-mi, wake up!” You shook her gently, your hands trembling as you tried to rouse her.

Her eyelids fluttered open, her brow furrowing as she struggled to process her surroundings. “Y/n?” she murmured groggily. “Where… where are we?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, swallowing hard. “I just woke up too.”

Before either of you could say more, a familiar voice called out. “Y/n! Se-mi!”

You turned to see Min-su sprinting toward you, his face lighting up with relief. You helped Se-mi to her feet, and the three of you embraced tightly, clinging to one another as if afraid the moment might slip away.

The warmth of the sand beneath your feet and the salty tang in the air felt surreal, but the undeniable reality was that you were out. You were alive. You curled your toes into the sand, needing to feel it, to remind yourself it wasn’t just a cruel trick. As you looked around, the landscape struck a chord deep within you. This beach was familiar. You weren’t far from home—your apartment was just thirty minutes away by car.

But as relief began to wash over you, a new worry took hold. “Where’s Thanos?” you asked, pulling back from the hug. Your eyes darted across the beach, searching desperately. He had to be here. The rest of you had been dropped off together, so where was he?

“T?” you called, your voice tinged with panic. “Thanos!”

Se-mi and Min-su joined in, shouting his name as they combed the shoreline, but there was no sign of him. A lump formed in your throat as you dropped to the sand, hugging your knees to your chest. Your breath came in shallow gasps as you tried to keep yourself from spiraling.

“He’ll show up,” Se-mi said softly, sitting beside you. Her hand rested on your arm, a small but grounding gesture. “We’ll find him. I promise.”

The sun began to sink lower on the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. Your heart sank with it, your thoughts consumed by what might have happened to Thanos. The last time you’d seen him, he was alive—unharmed. So why wasn’t he here?

Tears streamed silently down your face as you stared at the waves. In the quiet of your mind, you could almost hear his voice, deep and reassuring. “Y/n?” The memory of his voice only made the ache worse. You wiped at your cheeks, the faint whisper of his name escaping your lips.

“Y/N!” A voice rang out, louder this time, cutting through the stillness.

Your head snapped up, your ears straining. “You guys heard that, right?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” Se-mi and Min-su said simultaneously, their eyes wide.

“Thanos?” you called, your heart pounding. “T, I’m here!”

Your gaze darted to the treeline as rustling caught your attention. Then, through the golden glow of the setting sun, he appeared. His purple hair was unmistakable, his yellow T-shirt and jeans stained with dirt but familiar. It was what he was wearing in the video the guards showed of him.

Your breath hitched, and before you knew it, you were running across the sand toward him. Tears blurred your vision, but it didn’t matter. The moment you reached him, he swept you into his arms, holding you as if he’d never let go.

“Are you okay?!” he asked, his voice thick with emotion as his hands roamed over your body, checking for injuries. When his fingers brushed against the stitches on your shoulder, he froze. “You’re stitched up,” he said, his voice cracking. The pain in his eyes was unbearable.

You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. “I’m okay, T. I promise. I’m here. With you.”

He exhaled shakily, his grip on your shoulders tightening as though he feared you might vanish. “You’re here,” he repeated, as if saying it would make it feel real.

“I’m here, baby,” you reassured him, leaning in to press your lips to his. The kiss was slow, deep, filled with every unspoken word and every ounce of love you couldn’t put into sentences.

From a distance, Se-mi and Min-su watched, their smiles soft as they took in the scene. Their relief mirrored yours—after everything, you were finally together, safe, and alive.

The four of you trudged down the dimly lit street, the weight of exhaustion pulling at your limbs. The world was quiet around you, the distant hum of traffic and the occasional bark of a dog the only sounds breaking the silence. Despite the ache in your body, you felt Thanos’ hand clutching yours tightly, grounding you. His thumb brushed over your knuckles in a slow, deliberate rhythm, as if he were silently reassuring himself that you were still there, still real.

“My apartment is like… 15 miles from here,” you said, your voice tinged with fatigue. The thought of walking that distance after everything you’d been through felt impossible.

“Shit,” Se-mi groaned, dragging her feet as if the mere mention of the distance had sapped the last bit of her energy.

“Uh, guys?” Min-su’s voice broke through from behind you, halting your steps. You turned to see him standing frozen under the flickering glow of a streetlight, his face lit eerily by the glow of a phone screen in his hand.

“What is it?” you asked, your brows furrowing.

“Do you guys… also have a phone in your pocket?” he asked, holding his up as proof. His tone was a mix of confusion and disbelief.

You quickly reached into your pocket and, sure enough, your fingers closed around the cool metal. You pulled it out, staring at it as if it might bite you. You couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it before. The screen came to life with a single press, and the number flashing across it made your breath hitch.

1,754,148,000 won.

You blinked, then looked at Thanos, whose eyes were as wide as yours. The two of you exchanged a look that spoke volumes—disbelief, elation, and a hint of nervousness.

“Guys…” Se-mi’s voice trembled, a smile breaking across her face. “We’re… we’re fucking rich!”

The weight of her words hit all at once. Relief, joy, and adrenaline coursed through your veins, breaking the dam of tension that had been building since you entered the games.

“Full Kook!” you screamed suddenly, throwing your arms up in celebration.

Everyone looked at you, bewildered. “What?” Se-mi asked.

“It’s… it’s from an American show. Sorry,” you said, laughing breathlessly, your cheeks flushing at the random outburst.

“No, I like it! Full Kook!” Se-mi shouted, throwing her arms around you in a tight hug.

“Full fucking Kook, baby!” Thanos yelled, his voice loud and triumphant as he grabbed you and spun you around. You laughed uncontrollably as he jumped up and down, holding you close. Min-su joined in, his tired face breaking into a grin as he pumped his fists in the air.

The four of you danced in the empty street like you didn’t have a care in the world, the horrors of the past days momentarily forgotten. You screamed, cheered, and laughed until your throats hurt and your sides ached. For the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to feel joy, pure and unfiltered.

But as the laughter died down, you glanced back at your phone, the number still glowing on the screen. It felt surreal, like a dream you’d wake up from any second. But then your eyes caught something else—notifications you hadn’t noticed before. Messages.

Your thumb hovered over the notification icon, dread creeping into the edges of your mind. You tapped on it, and as the words filled the screen, your breath hitched.

“Y/n… it’s about your dad.”

Your hands trembled as you scrolled through the messages, your heart pounding louder with every word.

“He’s gone.”

Your vision blurred, and the phone slipped from your grasp, landing in the dirt at your feet. The sound pulled everyone’s attention.

“Y/n?” Se-mi’s voice was tentative, worried. “What’s wrong?”

You swallowed hard, your chest tightening as you forced the words out. “My dad’s dead…”

The past few days had been a haze of silence, grief, and exhaustion. The only sound breaking through had been your voice—strained and raw—as you screamed into the phone at your mother. She insisted on coming to Korea for the funeral and you couldn’t bear the thought of it. The words didn’t feel real as they left your lips, and yet they hung in the air like a weight too heavy to carry.

Your apartment, small and unassuming, had become a refuge for Thanos, Se-mi, and Min-su. Se-mi and Min-su had nowhere else to go, and truthfully, you didn’t want them to leave. Their presence kept you tethered, kept the crushing loneliness of your father’s death at bay. And Thanos just wanted to be with you, wherever that may be.

You stared blankly at the floor as Se-mi and Min-su moved quietly in the kitchen, the soft clatter of pots and pans echoing in the background. Then, without a word, Thanos took your hand and led you to the bathroom. He didn’t ask if you wanted to talk, didn’t push you to explain the storm raging in your chest. He just guided you, his fingers warm and steady around yours.

The sound of water filled the small space as he turned on the shower. Steam billowed around you, wrapping the room in a comforting cocoon. You stepped under the spray, letting the warmth cascade over your skin. Moments later, Thanos joined you, his presence grounding and unintrusive. His arms found their way around your waist, pulling you close as the water ran over both of you.

He didn’t say anything. There were no words to fix what had been broken, and he knew that. Instead, his hands moved slowly, reverently, as he worked soap over your skin. His touch was gentle but firm, a silent promise to share the weight of your pain. You closed your eyes as he massaged the soap into your skin, his fingers trailing down your arms and across your back with care.

When his hands moved to your hair, working shampoo into your scalp with deliberate precision, you felt a lump rise in your throat. His tenderness was overwhelming, a stark contrast to the chaos you’d endured. The silence between you was heavy but comforting, a space for grief to breathe.

“He would have loved you,” you murmured finally, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water.

Thanos paused, his fingers stilling in your hair. “Really?” he asked softly.

You nodded, opening your eyes to meet him. “Yes. You’re rough around the edges, but you’re kind at heart. You take care of me every single day.”

A shadow crossed his face as memories of the games flashed through his mind. The sight of you hurt, bleeding, crying—it haunted him. He was careful as he ran the soap over the stitches on your shoulder, his jaw tight with regret. “I should have done better…” he whispered, his voice breaking.

“Shut up, T,” you said, your tone firm but not unkind. You turned to face him fully, water cascading between you as you placed a hand on his chest. “Nam-gyu had it out for me since the beginning. None of it was your fault. I didn’t even know he was my cousin, Thanos. I’ve never even met him. I just… I need to talk to my grandmother. I need to understand.”

“She’ll be at the funeral, yeah?” he asked gently.

You bit your lip, nodding as a fresh wave of sadness washed over you. “Yeah,” you whispered, the weight of the day ahead pressing down on you.

“C’mere,” Thanos said softly, pulling you back into his arms. He placed slow, wet kisses along your shoulders and the crown of your head, his lips lingering as if he could kiss the pain away.

“I love you,” you murmured, the words spilling out before you could think to stop them. “I’ve only known you for a month, but…I fucking love you…”

His movements stilled for a moment, and then he tilted your chin up to meet his gaze. His eyes were soft, vulnerable in a way you hadn’t seen before. “I fucking love you too, Y/n,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “You make me want to live again.”

You stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. The way he looked at you—like you were the only thing that mattered in the world—filled you with a sudden, overwhelming need to be closer. Closer than you’d ever been before.

Without thinking, you turned and jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing him deeply. His hands instinctively found their way to your thighs, holding you steady as he kissed you back with a passion that made your head spin. He pressed you against the cool tile wall, his lips trailing down your neck as his breath hitched against your skin.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, his voice low and rough. “Today?” he asked, seeking your permission.

You nodded, your voice trembling with need. “I need you… please.”

His groan was deep, primal, as he positioned himself. His hand slipped between you, the feel of his fingers brushing against your wet folds sending shivers up your spine. He teased you for a moment, his tip gliding through your slickness, before pressing into you slowly.

Your head fell back against the wall, your eyes rolling shut as he filled you. The stretch was exquisite, the heat of him inside you overwhelming in the best way. “Fuck, T…” you moaned, your nails digging into his shoulders.

Thanos buried his face in the crook of your neck, his breath ragged as he began to move. “You feel so good, baby,” he groaned, his voice thick with pleasure. His thrusts were slow at first, deliberate, as if he wanted to savor every second. But as your hips met his and your moans grew louder, his restraint began to crumble.

“Shiiiit…” He panted as he released inside you and you lost yourself in the orgasmic vibrations, reaching your own release.

“Fuck…” You panted as he pulled out of you. You clung to him for support, your legs weak.

“I got you baby.” He chuckled, holding you tightly and cleaning you up. He helped you out of the shower, wrapping a towel around you. “You feel so fucking good..” He mumbled into your ear. Feeling his breath on your skin almost sent you into a second orgasm.

You didn’t expect your first time sleeping with your boyfriend would take place on the day of your fathers funeral. But you needed him more than ever, he was the only thing that could relieve your pain. It was a brief moment of euphoria in the otherwise depressing day ahead.

When you finally emerged from the bathroom, you tried to steady your face. Se-mi had already set the table and you sat down, ready to eat after the morning you had.

You all sat silently as you ate.

“So, was I right?” Se-mi broke the silence, staring at you with a cheeky grin. “Is he a good lay?”

Thanos and Min-su choked on their food at the comment.

You looked at her with wide eyes. “Thin walls.” She mouthed, gesturing to the bathroom.

You grinned back at her, laughing at the boys. “Amazing.” You said firmly, running your hand up Thanos’ leg in the process, watching him squirm under your touch.

You and Se-mi giggled.

The walk to your father’s funeral felt like an eternity, each step heavier than the last. Thanos, Se-mi, and Min-su trailed behind you, their silent support a lifeline in this moment of unbearable grief. As you approached the grand stone steps of your grandparents’ home, a wave of surrealism washed over you. It felt wrong to be here for something so depressing. Your grandparents house had always been a peaceful refuge for you and your brother.

Thanos stayed close, his presence solid and unwavering, like a quiet bodyguard. You reached the doorway and hesitated, taking in the familiar scent of incense and polished wood mixed with the faint aroma of flowers—lilies, his favorite. The sight of your father’s casket in the center of the living room hit you like a freight train.

Your legs moved of their own accord, carrying you toward him as if drawn by an invisible force. Thanos stayed a few steps back, giving you space but never letting you out of his sight. When you finally reached the casket, the air felt heavier, the room spinning ever so slightly.

“Shit, Dad…” you whispered, your voice cracking as the sight of him stole the breath from your lungs. His face was peaceful, but the stillness felt so wrong. You clenched your fists, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. “You couldn’t have waited a little longer to fucking die on me?!” The words tumbled out, raw and unfiltered. Your body trembled as sobs overtook you. “I got the money, Dad. I got the fucking money for your treatment!” Your voice broke into a wail. “I did it, I-I made it happen. What the fuck, Dad? What the fuck?!” You can’t believe you put yourself through hell for next to nothing. The money didn’t matter at this point.

Behind you, Thanos’ fists tightened at his sides as he fought back his own tears. He wanted nothing more than to comfort you, but he stayed rooted in the corner, knowing this moment wasn’t his to interrupt. He made a silent promise to himself then and there: no matter what, he would never leave your side. Not in grief, not in pain. Not ever.

“Y/n,” a soft voice called, pulling you from your spiral. Your grandmother’s familiar presence grounded you as she placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. Her face was lined with sorrow, but her eyes carried a quiet strength that had always been a cornerstone in your life.

“Why did he leave me?” you sobbed, collapsing into her arms. Her embrace was warm and familiar, a small solace in the face of overwhelming loss.

“It was out of our control,” she whispered, stroking your hair like she had when you were a child. “He held on as long as he could, my sweet girl.”

You stayed in her arms for a while, letting the tears flow freely, unburdening yourself in a way only she could allow. She was the only family you had left. Eventually, the wake blurred into the burial, the weight of finality sinking deeper into your chest with each passing moment. By the time you returned to your grandparents’ house for dinner, exhaustion clung to you like a second skin.

As people gathered, your grandmother approached you with a glance toward Thanos, Se-mi, and Min-su. “Sorry, Y/n,” she said in Korean, her tone polite but firm. “This is for family only.”

You stiffened, your jaw tightening. “They’re family,” you replied, your voice resolute.

Her eyes flicked to them again, her expression skeptical. Thanos’s purple hair, tattoos, and piercings stood out starkly against the more conservative appearance of the guests. She leaned closer to you, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I don’t know these people.”

“They’re my best friends,” you explained, choosing your words carefully. “They helped me raise the money.” You paused, glancing back at Thanos, who was watching the exchange from a respectful distance. His eyes met yours, steady and reassuring. “And Thanos…” You held out your hand to him, and he stepped forward, taking it without hesitation. “Thanos is my boyfriend.”

The admission felt like a declaration, and for a moment, the air between you and your grandmother was thick with unspoken tension.

Thanos bowed deeply, his voice calm but warm. “Hello,” he said in Korean, his accent perfect and endearing.

“Thanos?” She questioned.

“Choi Su-Bong, ma’am.” He said, and you smiled, knowing he hated using his real name.

Your grandmother’s lips pressed into a thin line, but then, to your relief, she let out a small laugh. “You Americans are always into the weird ones,” she teased you, her eyes softening slightly. “Okay, come on! Come eat.”

Relief flooded you as you led Thanos and your friends to the table. The warmth of the room, the scent of freshly prepared food, and the sound of familiar voices created a bittersweet sense of normalcy. Your grandmother’s initial skepticism faded as she peppered Thanos with questions. He answered each one with a mix of humility and charm that seemed to chip away at her defenses.

“He’s really working it,” Se-mi whispered to you, leaning close with a grin.

“Whatever it takes,” you whispered back, giggling softly. “Why are Korean grandmothers so hard to please?”

Se-mi smirked, shrugging in agreement. “It’s in their DNA.”

The laughter was short-lived. A sudden creak from the front door caught your attention, silencing the room. It was nearly 10 p.m., far too late for unexpected visitors. You exchanged a wary glance with your grandmother before standing to investigate.

When you reached the foyer, you froze, your stomach dropping. “Mom?” you said, your voice filled with disbelief.

She stood there, her disheveled appearance a stark contrast to the somber atmosphere of the evening. The scent of alcohol clung to her like a second skin, and her eyes were glassy, her movements unsteady. You took a step back, the emotions swirling inside you—anger, hurt, and pity—all threatening to overwhelm you.

“Y/n,” she slurred, a crooked smile spreading across her face. “You’re so… grown up.”

The room behind you fell silent, and you felt the weight of everyone’s eyes. You swallowed hard, bracing yourself for what would come next.

“You never dressed this nice in the States,” your mother said, her tone sharp, almost mocking. Her words were slurred, each one dripping with the faint venom of passive aggression she had perfected over the years. The scent of alcohol clung to her like a second skin, her disheveled appearance stark against the somber formality of the evening.

Behind you, Thanos stood rigid, his jaw clenched as he observed the interaction. He had listened to you speak about your mother before—about the pain, the betrayal, the wounds she had inflicted on your life. And now, seeing her here, uninvited and unwelcome, made the knot in his stomach tighten. You had already endured so much, and it tore at him to see yet another burden thrown your way.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice trembling, the words caught between anger and disbelief. You took a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. “Why are you—” Your voice broke as you inhaled again, the weight of her presence pressing down on you. “Why are you in South Korea?”

“Well, I heard your father died,” she mocked, as if you hadn’t talked to her about it a few days prior, her words stilted as she tried to sound composed. But the alcohol on her breath betrayed her, wafting between you like a bitter reminder of all the times she’d fallen short. “I wanted to pay my respects.”

The audacity of her words hit you like a punch to the gut. Pay her respects? You began to hyperventilate, your breaths coming in shallow bursts as anger and heartbreak collided within you. This woman—this bitch—who had destroyed everything good in your life, dared to show up now, pretending to grieve?

Memories flooded your mind, one after the other, unrelenting in their cruelty. She was the reason you had to save every penny to escape to Korea, desperate to put an ocean between you and her chaos. She was the one who cheated on your father, breaking his heart over and over again with her affairs. She was the one who gave your brother the drugs that killed him, his overdose a tragedy she had enabled. She was the one who guilt-tripped you into staying with her, forcing you to endure her lies and manipulations. And now, here she was, drunk, disrespecting a moment meant to honor your father—a man she had betrayed so completely.

“Who’s your little boyfriend, Smiles?” she slurred, a twisted grin spreading across her face as she glanced at Thanos. “He’s cute!”

Your stomach churned at the nickname, bile rising in your throat. Smiles. The name she had always used to manipulate you, to force you to play the role of the obedient, happy daughter whenever the police or social services came knocking. You were to smile and lie, to pretend she was a loving mother while she tore your life apart behind closed doors.

Your teeth ground together as you stepped closer, your voice low and shaking with fury. “Mom, leave.”

Her expression twisted, a mockery of hurt. “Can I not say goodbye to my ex-husband?” she said, her words dripping with insincerity.

Your grandmother, who had been watching silently until now, suddenly erupted in angry Korean, her voice rising in defense of her late son. The pain in her words was clear, her grief spilling out as she shouted about everything your mother had done to him. You could barely process it, your attention still locked on the woman standing in front of you.

You stepped closer, now inches from her face, your voice cold and firm. “If you don’t turn around and leave, I will throw you out myself.”

“Aww, Y/n,” she said, her voice mocking as she reached up to caress your cheek. Her touch was so familiar, so hauntingly warm, that for a split second you hesitated. You almost leaned into it, craving the comfort you had begged for as a child. But then reality crashed back over you, and you remembered who she was—the lies, the betrayal, the destruction she had left in her wake.

The hesitation evaporated, replaced by fury. You grabbed her by the hair, her yelp of surprise drowned out by the pounding of your heart. Without a second thought, you turned her around and shoved her toward the door. She stumbled, cursing, but you didn’t stop. You pushed her out into the night and slammed the door shut, locking it with trembling hands.

For a moment, there was silence. And then her fists pounded on the door, her voice shrill and venomous. “Nam-gyu should have fucking killed you!” she screamed. “You were a fucking mistake!”

Her words sliced through you like a blade, and you froze. Your breath caught in your throat, your fingers still gripping the lock. Behind you, Thanos rushed forward, his hands resting gently on your shoulders to steady you.

“She knew Nam-gyu,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. The realization hit you like a crashing wave, each piece of the puzzle suddenly falling into place.

Your grandmother’s words hung heavy in the air, each revelation landing like a hammer blow. She spoke slowly, her voice thick with guilt and regret as she explained everything. How there had been another son before your father—her firstborn, a boy she and your grandfather had loved deeply but who had shown only violence in return. They had tried everything—therapy, doctors, medications—but nothing worked. He had been dangerous, unpredictable, and ultimately, they had no choice but to let him go. They brought him to an orphanage, where they hoped he might find a family better equipped to handle him.

That’s where they found your father. Quiet, kind, and gentle even as a child, he had something about him that pulled them in. They adopted him, and for years, he had been their peace, their redemption.

But then Nam-gyu came back into your family’s orbit. Your mother had found him, sought him out with her own twisted motives. She’d told him about you, the inheritance, and made him a proposition: if he killed you, they could split the money.

All your mother had wanted was the money. The inheritance you didn’t even care about. The inheritance that no longer existed after the crushing debt your grandparents endured. But money makes people crazy.

Your breath hitched, your chest tightening as the walls around you seemed to close in. The weight of everything—the betrayal, the manipulation, the trauma—was too much. It felt like you were suffocating, the air in the room too thick to breathe. You stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor, and bolted out the front door.

“Y/n!” Thanos’s voice followed you, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t. Your legs carried you as fast as they could, your heart pounding in time with your frantic steps.

Your grandmother’s voice trembled as she spoke to him. “Su-Bong, please. Find her. Bring her home safe. She’s lost everything.”

He nodded firmly, already rushing after you. “Y/n!” he called, his voice echoing into the night.

You ran until your lungs burned, until your legs felt like they would give out beneath you. Finally, in the middle of a deserted street, you stopped, letting out a scream you felt like you’d been holding in for years.

“FUCK!” you sobbed, doubling over as the emotions crashed over you. “Fuck you, God! Why did you take everything from me?!” Tears streamed down your face as your voice broke, the rawness of your grief spilling into the still night.

Before you could fall to your knees, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. The scent of Thanos—comforting and familiar—enveloped you, grounding you even as you sobbed against his chest.

“T…” you choked out, your fingers clutching at his shirt. “Why is this happening? Why is all this happening to me?”

Thanos’s grip on you tightened, his chin resting atop your head as his own tears fell silently. He had no answers, no words that could fix what you were feeling. Every day, he promised himself he’d protect you, that he’d make you happy, and every day he felt like he was failing. All he could do was hold you, his arms a shield against the rest of the world, his warmth a quiet promise that he wasn’t going anywhere.

As your cries slowly subsided, the first rays of dawn began to paint the sky in soft hues of pink and purple. You leaned back against him, your head resting on his chest as you stared at the horizon. The silence between you wasn’t empty—it was full of unspoken love, of shared pain, of comfort found in each other.

His fingers combed gently through your hair, an act that always seemed to soothe both of you. “You need to rest, baby,” he whispered, his lips brushing against your temple.

You nodded, exhaustion tugging at your every limb. “Okay… I have a room at my Halmeoni’s. I don’t want to go all the way back to the apartment.”

“Got it,” he said softly, standing and crouching in front of you. “Hop on.”

You didn’t argue, climbing onto his back and wrapping your arms gently around his neck. He carried you the whole way, his steady steps and the feel of his heartbeat beneath your hands lulling you into a sense of peace.

When you arrived, your grandmother rushed to you, her face wet with tears as she cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead. She muttered a stream of words in Korean you couldn’t quite understand, but the emotion was clear—she was relieved you were home.

“Take her to bed,” she told Thanos, handing him an armful of blankets. “Down the hall to the left.”

He bowed politely before guiding you down the hall. The room was small and cozy, its walls covered in posters of Britney Spears, Bring Me The Horizon, and Nirvana. The remnants of your childhood—knick-knacks, photo frames, and books—scattered across the desk and shelves gave the space a sense of nostalgia.

Thanos laid you gently on the bed, wrapping you in the blankets as if you were the most precious thing in the world. Your hand reached out instinctively, finding his, and you clung to him even as your eyelids grew heavy.

He sat on the edge of the bed, watching you as you drifted into sleep. The soft rise and fall of your chest, the way your lips parted slightly as you relaxed—it was a sight he could watch forever. He glanced around the room, taking in every detail. The posters, the trinkets, the little fragments of who you were. He smiled softly, feeling like he was learning parts of you he hadn’t known before.

He leaned forward, brushing a strand of hair from your face and tucking it behind your ear. His thumb traced lightly over your cheekbone, his eyes full of adoration. “You’re perfect,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “Absolutely fucking perfect.”

Sliding under the blankets beside you, he rested a hand on your hip—his favorite place to hold you—and pressed a kiss to your forehead. As the first light of morning illuminated the room, he made a silent vow to you, to himself: he would do everything in his power to keep you safe, to help you heal, to love you in all the ways you deserved.

Let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list! :)

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sihtsisdrowkcab · 9 months ago

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DP x DC prompt - Villainess AU

Hey! So I found this promt and just had to write something with it!

https://www.tumblr.com/kuroishuuha/714717053010984960/dp-x-dc-prompt-villainess-au?source=share

Prompt

-Danny is transported into a novel/game where he is the villainess fiancé of the male lead.

Knowing that only death awaits him at the end, Danny tries to end the engagement (who knows if death will stick this time - Danny is not gonna risk finding out)

Meanwhile, Jason finds himself as the male lead of a novel/game he never read/played

The system in his head is telling him that the only way to get back home is to have a happy ending with his fiancé

So we have Danny who is desperately trying to end his engagement and a Jason who is trying to woo his fiancé (and cursing the original male lead - because the guy must have done something horrible for his cute and nice fiancé to be desperate to break up with him)-

Story

Danny was so over this. He thought this would have been easy, maybe not on his parents part god knows they don't give up without a fight, but his fiance has shown nothing but disdain for him his whole life (even if he wasn't here for 90% of that life) He thought he'd only have to tell his fiance that he didn't want to marry him, his fiance would be ecstatic and run into the sun with Ophelia and he'd get the weight off his shoulders and wouldn't have to worry about dying anymore and yet...

"No."

Danny just looked at him with horror "What do you mean no?" He practically yelled.

"No, I won't break off the engagement."

"Why not!? You hate me! You've hated me since the moment we met! I know you want to be with ophelia!"

Jason looked like he was trying to read his face which makes no sense, if anyone should be trying to read the other's face it should be him!

Danny grabbed Jason's shoulders and shook them, he knew he wasn't acting like a proper gentleman, but his life was on the line! "Have you lost your goddamn mind? What in the world is wrong with you?" He paused, took a breath and let go of the teshis shoulders. He was sure this had something or the other to do with politics, he just couldn't wrap his mind around it at all. He took another step back, he had to appease Jason somehow. "Look, neither of us wanted to get married and neither of us really knew what we were getting into when our parents signed the agreement and had us agree to this, my parents won't back down but from what I know of your parents they'll let you back out of this no problem. My parents will be pissed but that's neither here nor there. There is really no reasonable excuse for why we shouldn’t break off our engagement." Danny said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest. There was no way Jason could deny all of that.

How could Jason deny all of that?! He was acting completely out of character, which was funny because he hardly knew what his character was like at all besides from second hand accounts. When he was told he just had to get a happy ending with his fiance he had thought this would be a piece of cake, he had brushed everything else off and took this as a really weird miny vacation, how hard could it really be to marry your fiance? Everything was already set up, it couldn't fail.

Except for the fact that apparently he was a dick and hated his fiance and she was done with all that, which he would have cheered on the fiance any day, get rid of that dick 100%. But now he was here in that dick's place and having to deal with his stupid problems and his fiance wanted to divorce him! How was he ever going to get a happy ending out of this? He did eventually want to get home no matter how annoying Bruce could be at times.

His fiance huffed drawing his eyes to him, he really was very pretty, he had no idea why Damian seemingly hated him. Sure he was being annoying as hell right now but really that was all Damian's fault.

"look i don't know why you seem to be fighting for this, it seriously seems like you just forgot everything!"

Jason froze, should he go with that? It really would be rather convincing seeing as he really didn't know Damian at all.

Danial paused, his eyes widening as he fixed on Jason's hesitance, seemingly picking apart all that he was and assessing him not adequate.

"You really don't act like Damian at all..."

He froze again, was that a good thing? Was this gonna be what gave him away?

"Did you hit your head or something? Temporary amnesia?"

"Y-yes!" Was he messing this up, would Danial believe that?

"Then why are you fighting so hard to keep the engagement? You don't know me at all."

Shit. shit what did he say? How did he convince Danial to keep the engagement if his other self hated him and this self didn't know him?

"I-I heard how wonderful you were from my parents and- and fell in love!"

Danial backed up with a distured look on his face, fuck he shouldn't have said that. "Love? After just hearing about me? That’s… kind of creepy."

“I just want to get to know you!”

Danial looked at him, his shoulders slumped and he looked resigned as he said "fine we'll keep up the engagement for now.” yes! “But when you get your memories back, we're breaking it off.”

Not great, but at least he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

He turned around to leave, oh wait. "I haven't told anyone else I've lost my memories so could you keep that one to yourself?" He asked, turning back around.

Danial looked at him suspiciously. "Why haven't you told anyone else? Not even your family?"

Fuck again! Why couldn't he just get this right? "Of course my family knows!" He really hoped Danial never met them because they absolutely did not. "but no one at this school does, i don't want them to treat me like i'm made of glass like my parents." Not completely off base, they've been tiptoeing around him all summer, probably because he was acting so weird.

"that makes sense." Danial sighed, he looked suddenly like the whole weight of the world was upon his shoulders.

Jason screwed up his face, he had definitely been the one to place it there. He wanted to go over to him and tell him that they could break off the engagement after all but he really couldn't do that. "I'm sorry." He settled for instead.

Danial looked surprised. "You’re apologizing?"

"Yeah, I've made this so much harder for you than it really had to be. And you don't really know me anymore and I really don't know you."

Danial looked at him with something akin to empathy. "It's hard being thrust into a world that's unfamiliar to you isn't it? No one you trust or know around you and having to be something your not."

Jason looked at him in genuine shock. "H-how?"

Danial looked panicked for a second before he gave a light laugh. "I may not have amnesia but I do have expectations from everyone around me." He rubbed his arm. "Everyone says you're way out of my league and that I'm lucky to have you." This time his laugh was bitter.

"If anything you said about the old me was true it was really the opposite."

Danial gave a snort that Jason couldn't help feeling was the prettiest thing he's ever heard. "oh believe me i down played it."

Jason looked at him aghast. "Downplayed it!? Just how bad was I??"

Daniel gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and a smirk, "Now that, my friend is a talk for another time. Danial moved past him brushing his shoulder, what felt like a shock passed through him and he went stiff. When he finally came to his senses he was all by himself, What had just happened?

#danny phantom #danny #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp #dead on main #dp x dc crossover #dc comics #jason todd #dc #jason x danny #dead on main ship #dc x dp prompt #dc x dp

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postmoe · 4 months ago

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Borisin Warhead Hoolay x Reader - All You’re Good For

: cum, piss, degradation, blood (lil bit), aphrodisiac, Hoolay is a gross meanie :( , but he’s also a powerful tyrant so :)

This was all written on my phone during sleepless nights haha I can’t fix the spacing ;-;

It’s hard being a foxian in this world run by borisins. Allies are far and few between, even amongst your own kind. All it takes is one threat, one little push and you’re being sold out or used in the worst ways.

It had been days and you’re exhausted, paranoid and running on nothing but a few berries you have yet to see if are poisonous. It’s been a few days and nothing, so you’ll try some more tonight… if you make it out alive.

You were part of a group of foxians that plotted to run from the farm you were held in, what’s started as 11 now dwindled to five as most of you were either captured and killed in the escape or gotten too sick and died along the way. It had been a plan in the making that would have been perfect, had it not been for one factor:

Hoolay was coming.

Everyone knows the visit of the borisin warhead always lead to large feasts, having most of the ‘stock’ dead by morning. It was either make a break for it then or succumb to certain death.

So, you fled. Which leads to now, having you shaking beside the campfire, fingers anxiously brushing through matted knots in your tail, and the four men now looking to you like you were a burden.

“All I’m saying is that there’s no use having dead weight when borisins could jump on our tail at any second. We all play a part in this pack, but, what do you do?” One stated as though it was a matter of fact, hand held out in expression.

It was true you hadn’t really contributed much, though one could argue you found the berries, you were the only one brave enough to try them. You did plan on sharing if they were safe; that’s out the window now. Your lips thin as you refuse to make eye contact. Trauma has rendered your vocabulary useless, you don’t remember how old you were when you last spoke. Now, only pitiful sounds are able to escape your mouth, little hums and grunts of pain.

They took this as another sign of weakness, one of the other foxians scoffing, “You won’t even make conversation with us? We want someone we can rely on, not a pet.”

Everyone seemed to have different opinions of your value, all of which lead to one conclusion: you’re useless. It wasn’t until the fourth of them spoke that anyone even considered otherwise, “C’mon, guys, don’t be so harsh, you know she’s a mute. She can’t help it if she’s… underwhelming. Females are only made for one thing after all. Surely I can’t be the only one feeling lonely.”

It was that comment that made your heart pound most of all. A debate broke out of whether or not you’d be worth keeping around for something as trivial as sex when their lives were in danger. You look to starry sky above, the smoke pluming through the canopy as you think about their accusations. You were the most quiet of the bunch. You watched one of your comrades get their head stomped in right before you and didn’t even scream. One of the men here almost got everyone caught because a centipede crawled past. All in all, it could only be boiled down to blatant sexism. Their entire lives they’ve been slaves, and now there’s a taste of freedom and they want to turn the tables.

You’re being regarded again, everyone awaiting your answer, “So, wanna spread them legs and we’ll keep you safe? Cmon baby, you can trust us to protect you.”

It was a no brainer on your part, though you’ve never been one for conflict, you were prepared to fight them on this. Exhausted, paranoid, starving. You a pop a few berries from your pocket and into your mouth, thinking this might be your last meal if things go south as you shake your head in a silent, ‘no’.

The main perpetrator loses his smirk, obviously not amused by your response. He stands and cracks his neck, “No? I think you just need a bit of encouragement, baby.”

Immediately, you stand to take the defensive against him. You wonder if you could outrun them, given that you’re all in the same state of distress. One of the first foxians stands too, holding his hand out in hesitance, “W-whoa, hold up. Don’t start a fight here. Besides, you can’t just force someone to have sex with you.”

Another stood up, following the others straps as he comes to crowd you, “No no, I actually agree here. I think she needs to show us some gratitude.”

The last one merely sat in silence, avoiding his eyes from the scene, looking visibly uncomfortable but not wanting to step in.

Your eyes darted between the two approaching and you threatened by taking a deep breath, mouth opening as if you to scream. Their eyes panicked, not wanting any sound to alert unwanted attention. Regardless of their beliefs on your voice, they didn’t want to risk it.

A slight freeze from them was all you needed, you turned tail, beginning to run when a critical mistake caused your foot to get caught on the log you were sitting on. You went tumbling down, only barely managing to turn on the ground when you were tackled by your former comrade. His hand already over your mouth as he laugh, straddling you, “See? Pathetic! You can’t even run away by yourself. You need us.”

Your hands tense as your nails sharpen, ready to thrash when the other grabs your right wrist, pinning you down. Not long after, the first one grabs your other, his instinct telling him this was better than having you fight back and alert their position.

It wasn’t until his hand trailed under your shirt and caressed the bare skin of your stomach that something truly snapped inside of you. Pupils dilating, mind quieting and teeth sharpening, you managed to tilt your head enough to bite painfully into his hand, blood quickly spilling from the punctures.

His scream was loud, startling, the one on your right wrist jolting enough for you to wrench your arm away. Just as you were about to scratch at him, he gave you a swift punch to your face, nose cracking and pooling blood over your mouth. It disorientated you enough for him to grab at your throat, holding you down, “Fucking bitch. Maybe it’ll be easier to use you if you’re not breathing.”

His taste for violence was the perfect opportunity. As his face drew closer and no one retrained you, thinking you were knocked out enough to not need it, you thrust your hands to his head, nails digging into the back of his skull as you pushed him forward and impaling his eye over your thumb.

The others stepped back now, stunned and scared, leaving you to leap forward before he could recover and drive your teeth into his throat like a wild animal. Frenzied, scared, hurt and adrenaline coursing through your veins, it was enough to drive anyone to do drastic things.

You didn’t notice the rustling of bushes, the way your comrades bolted from the scene. Too busy focusing on ripping his throat out and showing him that you’re not just some foxian that’s going to roll over and heel. Tears streaming down your cheeks as the taste of blood came rushing over you, you are going to fight, too.

Once he goes limp is when you stop clawing and attacking, sitting back with a squelch as you reach up to wipe the water from your eyes. You were drenched. Blood painted from the lower half of your face, down your throat and over your teeth. Nose bruised and broken and leaking. Nails filthy and you’re sure there is flesh under them. You’re not a killer. You never wanted to be a killer.

And then the clapping began. Thuds of heavy footsteps rush past you as you look up, paling and almost vomiting from the surprise. There’s no mistaken that the borisin that stands before you now is Warhead Hoolay, and beside him is his right hand man, Mok Tok. The pack with him was chasing down the others that ran before.

Hoolay seemed very amused, crouching down and grinning as he picked up the foxian’s head by the ear before letting it hit the ground again, “Only the strong survive. This whelp was nothing more than all bark and no bite. You, however,” he gazes back to you, standing, “I’m impressed. Even foxians in the fighting ring have more compassion. You truly didn’t hold back.”

Running isn’t an option. In the fight he had gotten a few good hits and kicks in, your ankle throbbing in pain. Not to mention the stench of blood on you. Foxians had a great sense of smell - Borisins, an even better one. Your only option is to fight, and even you know the single outcome here is death.

Mok Tok stepped around, standing behind you as he examined your state of well being. He hummed gingerly before saying, “Dine in or take away, master?”

Another once over from Hoolay had him walking over to you. He didn’t have a care in the world, hand larger than your head reaching out towards your face. It was enough for you to kick into gear, using what was left of your strength and latching onto him with all the fight you had left. Your teeth barely dug through the fur on his paw, nails only strong enough to hold you to his arm without so much as pricking blood, your legs feebly kicking into his large chest. It probably felt more like a massage than any form of pain.

You tried with all your might and the only response you got from him was a boisterous laugh. He easily yanked you off and threw you to the ground, rolling until you hit Mok Tok’s foot, “Take away. This one amuses me, see to it she doesn’t succumb to her wounds.”

In no time you had some form of metal around your neck, clasping with the rattle of a chain. You’re dragged a few feet before being hauled onto your aching souls. Mok Tok handles you with little care, tugging you to a pace you couldn’t keep up with.

…

It was only you, the bystander foxian that didn’t stand to help, and the initial foxian that tried to keep everyone quiet that remained. The lackey of the culprit you fought had been tied at the end of your chain link, only to fall to his wounds and die on the road. The borisins had snapped his portion of the chain off like it was nothing, leaving his carcass to rot in the mud.

You were at the front of the line, trudging behind Hoolay and his bitch boy with your hands cuffed in front of you, connected to a chain on the thick collar around your throat. A longer, thicker chain trailed behind you to the others, walking in a single file.

It was quiet, the night turning from black to the blueish hues of morning. In the distance thunder rumbled, promising the relief of rain to come. Your feet were filthy from the mud, having lost one flat, uncomfortable shoe days ago and tossing the other at a wild animal that tried to bite you. It turns out bare feet was only marginally more uncomfortable. At least the dirt of the road and squelch of the mud was nicer than sticks and brambles in the forest.

Every closing of your eyes almost had you tripping in sleep. You tried not to blink but since the adrenaline was wearing off, all the pain and exhaustion was coming forward tenfold. It was probably stupid, but the man behind you decided to try their luck with a conversation, “Are we-“ they coughed, their voice a lot scratchier than you anticipated, starting again when they noticed their ears pricking back to listen, “Are we going back to the farm?”

Mok Tok was the first to sneer, his scarred face glaring at him as he snapped, “You weren’t given permission to speak, whelp.”

Hoolay raised his paw to silence him, “It’s fine. Let them wonder, the smell of fear is a welcome sense.” Once the smaller borisin bowed in submission, Hoolay glanced at you from over his shoulder, his intimidating size only making you feel all the more caged in this otherwise open countryside, “The farm owner doesn’t want runaways such as yourselves. You’re coming to our den. Those who can’t serve as servants will be meals before battle.”

One of the men behind you whimpered in fear, the chain slightly rattling as they quaked. You wish you could have the energy for such an emotion. You felt yourself lagging, needing to pick up the pace if you didn’t want to end up lunch for the trip back. With a pained sigh, you skipped forward and listened as they continued questioning, “Did you search for us on purpose, or was it all a coincidence?”

It seems Hoolay was in a generous and talkative mood as he humoured, “Your previous owner informed us of the escape. Such a foolish plan, don’t you know we wolves love to hunt little foxes like you? You couldn’t have picked a worse time to…”

As Hoolay spoke you were progressively losing focus. The sunlight peeked behind a cloud and pierced your eye, a strain feeling like it was hitting your brain. Your hands weren’t low enough to see if you had any surviving berries in your pocket, food maybe being a cure. By this point it was difficult to make out the words anyone was saying.

The next moment you know is your face in the mud. It’s cool to your cheeks, comforting from the recent events. Mok Tok’s voice cuts through incredulously, “Me? Master, she is just a pitiful fox. I suggest we eat her and be done-“

“Are you questioning my decision, Mok Tok? I’ll gladly fight you over it, think you can take me in a battle,” Hoolay says, already knowing the outcome.

Mok Tok surrenders immediately, breaking off your chain and throwing you over his shoulder. Your lungs are pushed of air, and though he isn’t careful in the least, you despise how warm and inviting his fur is. It isn’t long before you’re drifting off, passing out in the hopes that this is your end and you don’t have to experience another day in this hellhole.

…

It was a long ride, your trio of prisoners thrown on the back of a wagon full of leftover foxian meat when it was established you were walking too slow. Most of it was wrapped in cloth and sat on crates with misshapen ice inside to keep relatively fresh. It only became hard to stomach when one of them got hungry.

A few borisin were striding alongside the cart, keeping in pace with the quieter man of your group. They were shoving an amputated foot in his face, laughing and urging him to try it. “You’ll never know if you don’t have a taste~”

You did your best to keep your gaze away, he may be an arsehole but you still regarded the corpse’s leg with the dignity you feel it deserves. Though your kind believes the spirit moves on, it was still hard to witness in the living realm.

It seems your ignorance of the scene didn’t grant you any relief. However, instead of the group of mutts hounding him, you were graced with the mighty presence of the Warhead himself. He held out an arm to you, fingers daintily hovering before your face, calloused skin proving their hard work in life. Hoolay eyed you with interest as he said, “What about you, small one? Have you developed a taste for your own kind?”

The stains of mud and blood still remain on you, your nose only having a brief look at once you reached the wagon of ‘goods’. If your aggressive fight had taught you anything, it was that living prey wasn’t your ideal meal. You shook your head and turned away from him, hoping he would give up this pointless endeavour.

Hoolay brought the arm to his maw, ripping the flesh and chewing loudly, as if to accentuate just what exactly he was eating. Without warning, his sharp claw drags roughly from the base of your skull and down your neck, stopping between your shoulder blades when you jumped forward in shock, the chains rattling as you eyed him with malice. Whatever he saw in you made his lips part in a smirk, then he laughed loudly, the rest of his pack watching their leader toy with you in silence. “What do they call you?”

Even if you could talk, you wouldn’t want to tell him your name.

He raises an eyebrow at you, “Oh? Even still defiant over such a simple question?”

Mok Tok was clearly more offended than his leader, “How dare you ignore our Warhead Hoolay! Master, please allow me to show this whelp just how grateful she should be-“

Sensing the growing tension, your other prisoner comrade interrupted fearfully, “Sh-she doesn’t talk, lord warhead. She’s been silent for as long as we’ve known her.”

This seemed to interest Hoolay even more. “Oh?” With ease, he jumped onto the wagon and sat opposite of you, right next to the prisoner who had spoken on your behalf. Teasingly, he caressed his face with the back of the foxian’s hand, “Then you can tell me. What is her label?”

Shakily, he looked to you as if you could help, too scared to move away from the amputated hand. You merely shrugged, then sure what to tell him, so he said what he could best remember, “I think… I think she was part of B block so… it may have been B132.”

You’re not sure with how you got away with not being branded. Perhaps it was because you kept your head down and didn’t cause trouble, mixed with the fact that they forgot. The farm wasn’t the best run, order and structure not something they’d place in their résumé.

Hoolay looked back to you, “Is that correct?”

Again, you shrug. You were told it once and then never again. The only ones who really remembered were the branded ones.

Hoolay picks at his fangs with the nails of his meal, humming in thought before tossing the arm far away into a field, “I suppose it matters not. Servants will be renamed, as will food.” Another amused rumble comes bubbling from his chest as he stands, a large paw grasping your injured face and turning it from side to side, making you wince as he growls lowly, “Food always tastes better when there’s… personality.”

You took that as an omen for your future.

…

The rain and humidity was a horrible combination, though you found yourself enjoying it more as the grime was sort of washed from your face and your wrists were lubricated from the blood that was washed down. Quietly, you had been working on wriggling your hands out of the cuffs to give you some more space to work with when you try to escape again.

There was nothing you could do about the choker around your neck, however if you could at least get your hands free then you’d have the ability to use the environment around you easier. That, paired with the fact that your chain was no longer connected to the others thanks to Mok Tok, you think you had a fighting chance.

Or else you’re condemned to be food.

It stung, the way your flesh ripped and teared when you shimmied it back and forth in the metal. The others had seen you but didn’t speak up, thankfully, not wanting any of their attention.

You felt sick with anxiety when the new blood made it easier to pull through, almost slipping out, your bones bruised and aching before you pushed your hands back in to avoid them being freed completely.

The rain had lessened, which wasn’t ideal but you could tell it would stop soon and you wanted to go with as much covering as possible. You were in another dense forest, it would be the perfect time. So, you got work, stomping your foot on the wagon to get someone’s attention.

It was Mok Tok who turned, glaring at you with a harsh, “What?” Your tail was squeezed between your thighs, jumping up and down to indicate you needed to pee. He seemed he was about to refute it when he had a second thought, turning to Hoolay and saying, “Master, the last toilet break for the prisoners was 12 hours ago. Shall we stop once more or wait until we arrive to the den?”

Your stomach dropped, did that mean you were close to their home? It really was now or never. Hoolay looked back to you, and you tried hard to show how desperate you were to go. He motions for everyone to stop, coming to you, “Fine. You two take the other prisoners. I’ll handle this one myself.” Like a giant claw - and you suppose it technically was - he grasped you by the top of your head and lifted you from the wagon, placing you down in the mud, your toes sinking into the mushy soil.

He had to nudge you to walk as you panicked. Why was splitting you up now? Every other time it has been one borisin watching you three, you were counting on that to have their attention diverted. Now the Warhead himself wants to watch you pee?

You get a considerable distance before he stops, staring at you with a heavy gaze. When you make no move he scoffs, smiling with a row of sharp teeth and a flick of his tail, “What, you can piss in front of my grunt but not me? Do I really make you that uncomfortable?” His voice lowers to a dangerous octave, “You flatter me.”

Now’s not the time to play his games. You turn around, using your tail to lift up the long, tattered dress that was uniform for everyone at the farm. Due to the first toilet break, a borisin had ripped your knickers off and tossed them so they wouldn’t have to keep doing it whenever you needed to go, so all you had to do was squat and bunch the cloth in your hands once you were low enough to reach. You glanced over your shoulder, seeing him watch you with boredom, huffing and averting his eyes lazily.

That was the best you were going to get. From this angle, it could be seen as you adjusting your clothes again, yet you were slipping your damaged wrists out of the cuffs. It was a little harder since the last time but you managed to do it, eyeing him from the side to see him focused on the raindrops off a leaf. Taking a deep breath, you bolted head on, scurrying over logs and bushes.

There was no noise behind you. As far as you’re aware, borisin aren’t silent hunters, they like to toy with their prey. So why wasn’t he chasing you? Not that you’re complaining, you hope to never encounter his kind again-

The reason for your lack of chase became apparent as you came skidding to a halt. You were at the edge of a canyon, forest on this side and a large, dusty and rocket desert on the other. Along the walls of the canyon were layers of stairs, openings, borisin. Not to mention the foxian slaves, digging and picking, holding food out to guards. Along the floor of the deep canyon is a rushing river, fast enough to be swept away should one fall in.

Hoolay casually walked up behind you, “the outside of our den. On the inside is long, winding halls and plenty of rooms. Should you get lost, there’s no telling what your fate is.” You were still in despair when he grabbed your hand, holding it up as he brought his nose down to inhale your wounds. Your fearful eyes looked to him when he licked up the torn skin, the saliva and pressure on his tongue stinging the sores which you tried to pull away from. He groaned in delight, yanking you closer to gently bite on the flesh, squeezing more blood out, “You think I can’t smell the difference between old and fresh blood? We knew of your little plan from the beginning. Even so,” his large hand slides up your back, claws tracing your spine tantalisingly and forcing you to push into his hard chest as he growls lowly in your ear, “You still tried to run from me, a bold move. I’ve decided, I’m going to keep you, personally. I will train you from a savage foxian into the obedient pet you were born to play.”

To be dismembered or to be a pet? Which is worse is hard to say. Your chattering teeth grit, the fear turning into desperate anger. Quickly, you duck under his arm to escape, only for him to grab the base of your tail and hold you in place. So you change tactics, trying to hit the base of your heel hard enough to hurt his chest and loosen his grip. However, as your foot makes contact with his torso, he doesn’t flinch and instead grabs your ankle and turn you upside down.

You’re left flailing in the air as he carries you like meat on a hook, holding your dress between your legs as you struggle so that you’re not blinded by the fabric. There really is no use. His pack watches in amusement as their leader returns with you, dropping you back into the wagon, “This one is mine. No one is allowed to touch them, understand?”

Frustrated and scared tears stream down your cheeks as they reply with a clear, “Yes, master!”

…

You’re not sure where the others went. Once you made it over the bridge and into the den, you were given to a purple borisin who commanded a bunch of servant foxians. She had supervised your wounds being treated before ordering them to take you to the bathhouse and clean you.

No one made eye contact, no one spoke to you or each other. It was frighteningly quiet, so you kept your head down as they scrubbed your ears and brushed out the knots in your tail. The tub you were in was cramped, a wooden bucket essentially. Hoses came out of the walls and a long gutter was imbedded in the ground to drain the water out somewhere. Even if it was awkward and daunting, you couldn’t deny how good it felt to get scrubbed raw by water that was almost too hot. Even at the farm, room temperature water was the highest form of luxury.

You actually felt clean for once.

Once you were done and dripping dry, the borisin from earlier reentered with a fluffy towel. She looked you over, clawed hand throwing the towel over your head, “You know how to dry yourself, yeah? I don’t know what you did but our master has taken a liking to you. Come.”

You wetly follow her through the winding halls with plaps of your feet hitting the floors, the servants behind you trailing diligently. You were too focused on trying to memorise the path that you hardly dried yourself by the time you reached your destination. A room was opened to you, chests and clothes along each wall, a mirror standing on the floor.

One glance at the mirror was enough for you to turn your head, not wanting to see yourself as the captive you are just yet; surrounded by slaves and a vicious wolf. Out of the corner of your eye though, you saw the enemy rummaging through chests until she found what she was looking for.

When she came back, she began putting golden chains on you, hanging from a gold collar around your neck, falling down your biceps, down the curves of your naked breasts, low enough to fall just past your hips. You dared another glance in the mirror, wondering if something so cold and with no fabric could still be called lingerie.

“Done. Let’s go,” she shoved at your back, the chains clinking slightly from the jolt as she pushed you out. The metal felt kind of nice, slinking along your skin with every step you took. The collar got hotter with your body heat, being a little uncomfortable but who were you to complain when you had no rights. It wasn’t until you were stopped beside her, a VERY long table with various foods and alcohols, mainly meats and few vegetables - don’t look at the foxian torso and thighs, don’t look at the foxian torso and thighs - that were slightly skewed from everyone picking at it that you felt a shot of self-consciousness. She bowed her head and addressed the warhead, “Master, she is clean and adorned for you.”

Since the day you were born, you were taught that nakedness and privacy didn’t matter. Farm animals didn’t get that decency, foxians don’t get that decency. You can count on one hand you’ve felt the need to cover yourself in front of someone, yet somehow right now, you feel like you need to cover every inch of skin and curl up in a hole to stop the eyes of their leader from clawing into you. Everyone stopped to stare at the new meat that had walked in, yet it was Hoolay that openly ogled you like you were more than just food.

You pretend not to notice the twitching under his belt, cloth moving over a large mound that you were hoping wasn’t for you. He grinned and leant forward, hooking his index under your collar and pulling you towards him, “Perfect, you’re dismissed.”

She and the slaves bowed before leaving you alone in the room full of beasts.

“C’mere,” Hoolay demands, already pulling you tightly against him, sitting you sideways in his lap. He’s so large, colossal, from his shoulder to his elbow alone almost the size of your body. He brings a chunk of meat to your lips, demanding you to eat. When you don’t part your mouth, he huffs and wedges a claw between your teeth, forcing you to open, “Relax, it is just bird.”

Sure enough, you’re inclined to agree, taking the meat from his hand so he’s no longer shoving it down your throat. As you slowly nibble on the meat, you’re lost to the words everyone is speaking around you, their language a mix of your common tongue and their own. You’re pretty confident, however, that they’re discussing about his new prize - you - and how you’ll taste.

Hoolay laughs after someone says something, easily moving you to sit flush against his torso with your back, spreading your legs wide over his thighs. You almost drop the bird meat when you see what he’s doing, releasing the confinements of his half-hard cock to hang over his leg. A low growl rumbles from his chest as he strokes it, moving it to stand hard and leaning against your tense torso. His knot is throbbing between your legs and the tip of him is poking the underside of your breasts, you can’t even imagine what he would feel like inside of you that doesn’t involve pain.

A slave comes beside him with a platter and a golden jug. Hoolay grabs it roughly before pouring the contents over his cock, the substance oozing out and over his dick like a sheer, golden syrup. He tosses the jug away with a clank, disregarding it in favour of smearing the liquid over your thigh, lightly squeezing, his giant maw hotly breathing against your cheek, “Go on. Have a taste. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

He’s so large that there’s no way you could swallow him more than his tip. You go in for a taste, holding the heavy weight below the glands to dutifully suck. The pungent under taste that you’re expecting is overshadowed by whatever he had coated his dick in. The pupils of your eyes blow wide and suddenly you’re suckling on the head like you’re trying to coach his cock to dispel more of the deliciously sweet substance.

Hoolay laughs at you, a low, growling groan emitting as his paw pets back the ears on your head, “Fffuck. That’s a good girl.” You whimper around him when he pushes you down, choking on what little you could swallow. His pre is enough to guzzle down your throat and bubble out of your mouth, it doesn’t ready you for when he cums, buckets of semen forced down your throat and into your stomach. He must’ve been pent up because even after he pulls away, he’s still very much hard. He opens his mouth beside your head, his jaw wide enough to encompass your skull if he really wanted to, laughing at the visage, “Such a tiny mouth for a pitiful creature. I wonder if the hole between your legs will be more accommodating, hm?”

You’re lifted and placed on your back, glistening in syrup and cum under the dim lighting by the candles around the room. Everyone stares in amusement as you dazedly bring your fingers to your mouth, sucking on the digits to get some more of the sweet syrup and hoping to overthrow his taste. It isn’t until you feel a rather large tongue lick up the slit of your pussy that you jerk, a string of saliva connecting to your fingers as you pull them away to gaze between your thighs.

Hoolay’s claws touched as they held one of your thighs up, out of the way for him to get a taste. You were already so wet and waiting, the desire to consume was rushing all throughout your body. Air was forced out of you when he let his heavy cock thud against your stomach, a little cum seeping from the corner of your mouth. Graciously and carefully, he slides a finger inside you and worms it around, stretching your cunt and causing you to moan, “So defiant you were on the ride here. Now look at you, arching into my hand like a pet looking for love from its owner. It feels good to give in to instinct, wouldn’t you agree?”

Even if you could talk, you wouldn’t need to as your tail swishes side to side underneath you, as though accepting his declaration. Your stomach is so full that even with just his fingers you feel you’re about to pop. Your legs fall open for him when he pushes his cock head down your slit and into your hole. You’re so grateful he helped you with the aphrodisiac, even if you wish you hated it, you know being absolutely torn apart would be too brutal to handle.

As a mercy, perhaps for being such a good girl, he takes it slow but doesn’t stop - not until he’s reached as far as he can inside you. Your legs are now propped up and of your stomach wasn’t distended from the mouthfuls of cum before, it certainly was from the massive dick inside you now. Your cheeks puff when he puts pressure on the lump he forms, “I’m impressed, little fox. Even with the amount of syrup used, I didn’t think you’d be able to hold out.”

It’s not until his hips start snapping against yours that you cringe, the movement jostling your insides, motion sickness hidden behind layers of pleasure. Your mouth is open, panting, the cool air the only thing keeping you from losing your mind. However, as ‘kind’ as he’s been, he seems to want to take more from you. His long, flat tongue enters your mouth, you’re gurgling around the muscle in this ruthless kiss. Your eyes roll back and hearing wavers as the oxygen in your lungs is stolen away.

Heavy balls plap against your arse, cum and syrup creating an odd, warm, wet sensation over your skin. You hadn’t realised you were clawing at Hoolay’s face until he retracted, his paws holding your biceps flat in the take with a heavy chunk to hold you down. Bruises were the least of your concerns as you could finally breathe again and consciousness came back, adding with a strong seizure of pleasure corrupting your body. Your clit pulsed and your pussy tightened from the euphoric buildup of oxygen and cock breeding your insides.

A round of cheers and clinking steins was heard in the background during your orgasm, but it was too intense to care and Hoolay had no intentions of stopping. The way your cunt suckled his dick was more than enough to keep him going.

Of course, it wasn’t the last time you would cum in his cock. The way he nipped at your skin and kissed you and licked over your body like he was getting ready to devour you; it all shot straight to your aroused core. Whenever you could form a single thought, though, you would concern yourself with the inevitable worry of his knot.

Hoolay’s knot was swelling to a considerable size and pretty soon you doubt you would be able to hold him. He seemed to realise this, however, because his thrusts were getting deeper and stuttering more often as his knot struggled to enter and escape your cunt. It wasn’t too soon that his hips closely hit against yours, balls tightening and jerking with every spurt of cum. His knot kept him stuck deep inside you, the low growls and groans making you tremble. Your legs were hiked and your stomach was folded, you felt like you were going to throw up as your stomach got fuller… and fuller… “Just look at you,” he grunts, pushing himself against you and making you groan, “Fucked out of your mind, at the mercy on our dinner table. Foxians like you are only good for one thing.”

You couldn’t keep it in, with the amount he was breeding you with, and the position he had you folded in, it was only a matter of time before it came back up. It wasn’t vomit, it was more like his cum didn’t make it all the way down. The semen you swallowed poured out, as though the cum he fucked into you had overflowed out of your mouth. Tears streamed from the corners of your eyes in shame and confusion, your chin, chest, stomach, legs, everything was dirty and smothered in Hoolay’s dna.

He laughed heartily at your pitiful display, cool still nestled deep in, one hand coming under the arch of your back to lift you up and rest against him. He sat back on his chair, idly dragging a claw down your spine, your skin alight with goosebumps. His voice seemed a lot more content now, “Bring out the slaves. It is time for everyone to enjoy themselves.”

You barely recognised what was happening, your consciousness slowly returning to you over time. Crying, means, laughing, scared whimpers were all present thought your minor rest. Eventually, you had the strength to lift your head, seeing you’re not the only unfortunate soul to be used as a plaything. This place truly is horrible.

Finally, Hoolay’s knot had reduced enough to be plucked from your hole. He grabbed one of the chains around you and half heartedly threw you to the floor. You were confused and struggled to push yourself up, only to halt when a hot stream of liquid hit the top of your head. Piss. He was pissing on you, making sure to cover your body in his stench. The face you made could almost be described as betrayal, save for the fact that you had no faith in him to begin with. Once finished, he lets go of his half hard cock and stares into your eyes, “Everyone will smell who you belong to. You will not be able to take one step in this place without me knowing where you are.”

All you can do is grit your teeth, nails digging into the ground. The piss makes the wounds on your wrists sting like crazy, your hair and fur drenched in both cum and urine. It stinks. The bruises on your arms were forming nicely and you can only wait to see how pretty they’ll bloom by morning.

To add salt to the wound, Hoolay pours water into an empty bowl and places it in there for beside you, “You can bathe again later, we must let it soak in so the pheromones stick.” He stands, cocking his head in admiration of his work on you, smiling wickedly, “It’s about time I got myself a pet. And I know you’ll be such a good girl for me.”

Your head falls forward in this defeat, eyes making contact with your exhausted reflection in the water bowl.

#yandere #yandere hoolay x reader #hoolay x reader #hoolay #hoolay hsr #honkai star rail #warhead #yandere hsr #Yandere hsr x reader #Yandere Hoolay hsr #borisin #hsr borisin #Yandere borisin

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drarryspecificrecs · 4 months ago

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2024.09 ~ Top 9 longest fics posted on AO3

1. Take Me to Voldemort by @sweetiecutiedarling [M, 702k]

How did everyone miss it? That dark look in Potter's eyes? They were all too happy to gloss over his insistence that the Dark Lord had returned, acting as if the wild claims were endearing and not signs of a manic break. [...] Draco never could have predicted Potter's particularly daft and entirely sincere response, especially considering that Potter did not even take a breath before saying it. "Let's do it. Take me to Voldemort."

2. Twin flames by Wizarding_Whatif [M, 561k]

After the war has ended, Harry finds himself at a loss for what to do with himself. [...] Draco Malfoy is also asking the big questions in life after the war. [...] They both get invited back after a year of rebuilding to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. [...] This year, however, the returning students are to be resorted, Harry is but Draco is not. This year an entirely different adventure awaits the two men. With an ancient love spell cast on Harry before School the unknown consequences grow steeper as the year goes on, leaving the entire wizarding world on the edge of their brooms for news of their savior. Can a villain become a hero? Will the hero get a happy ending?

3. The Wrong Sort by ladybirdlad [?, 135k] *typo

After Dolores Umbridge becomes Hogwarts’ new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Harry decides something must be done about her and her appalling tutelage and misinformation. Surprisingly, the hatred of their new simpering pink professor spreads further than just Harry and his friends. Far enough that even those who he once considered enemies are now tentative allies. But how much is unity against Umbridge and how much is something more?

4. Dreary by raspberrybalm [E, 177k]

A vile of Felix Felicis, a Resurrection Stone, and a blond walk into an Avada… The punchline? Draco's life, it would seem. He can't win for losing. His mother's gone, his girlfriend's in love with his mate, and The Order won't take him no matter how many baddies he slaughters. The solution? A Time Turner. The solution to the consequential havoc of messing with time? Harry Potter, of course. Only, the bloke's been dead for fifteen years. Good thing Draco eats Death for breakfast.

5. Pieces Of Me by @shewhomustnotbenamed [E, 88k]

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter have never been friends. After finding themselves isolated from others due to their own specific problems, they somehow connect. While Harry ignores his issues with addiction, and Draco disguises just how horrible his relationship is, a friendship blooms between them. Draco must choose between the life he's known for the past five years with Cormac McLaggen, or the life that Harry offers him, and the consequences that follow.

6. Ouroboros by inkysand [T, 81k]

“But now we’re all trapped in this place with Bellatrix lurking around,” Ron said once he’d calmed down. “And it sounds like Malfoy’s all set on fixing the Compact. But what’s that going to do for You-Know-Who? If we get bumped out of here, do we go back and get killed by a dark wizard who’s got all his power back and is already in control at Hogwarts?” None of them had answers to those questions.

7. Silver Tone Rich Kids by @shelvesuponshelves [M, 73k]

Best friends since they were four, Slytherins Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy have been the shitty spoiled rich kids of Hogwarts for years. But when Harry decides he wants to improve himself and Draco can't get on board, Draco's world begins to fall apart when Harry moves on to new friends. [...]

8. A Beginner's Guide to Living by kzwjhkdo [E, 62k]

In the aftermath of the war to end all wars, Harry had dutifully tried to follow the path set out for him. He'd tried to hack it as a wizard cop. He'd tried heterosexuality. He'd tried to exist in the public eye as a hero, saviour, beloved golden boy. He'd tried. Ultimately, he'd only lasted a few months before he'd disappeared into thin air. It's been fifteen years, now—it's been precisely fifteen years, six months, and twenty days. A lot has changed. Draco is a photographer, working with Pansy Parkinson at her fashion magazine. He has a potion business on the side. He's grown, he has a carefully cultivated life, and he's sure to have a very normal reaction to seeing Harry Potter again.

9. Infairitance by @toxik-angel [T, 61k]

It's August 1999, and Harry only plans on returning Malfoy's wand to him in his weird little potion shop. The Malfoy he meets there is not the Malfoy he expected. He also was not expecting to see Fred's... unanimated corpse.

—

※ Word count: 1k ~ 15k

※ Word count: 15k ~ 40k

cheeks pink in the twinkling lights by mr_prongs [E, 21k]

Entrapment by @mykkitno [M, 19k]

Explosive Encounters by TotallyNotMagic [M, 31k]

Harry Potter and the Snake in the Park 'Round his House by @sillspore [M, 30k]

Have you not realised? by Millsy [?, 15k]

Liquid Silk by @coffeedrgn87 [E, 16k]

Long-term by Plume1304 [M, 17k]

Love at it's Kore by @sightedkarma [M, 39k]

Potions, Poisons, and Other Cures for Heartache by semperubi [?, 37k]

retrogade echoes by sectumsempra [E, 35k]

Shelter from the Storm by @actual-howlinglikeaseaturtle [T, 20k]

This isn't the Window to your Soul (Even if you think it is) by @emeraldvssilver [?, 15k]

—

Ongoing Fest/Exchange

※ Fics would be listed elsewhere.

Drarry Let’s Play Fest 2024 | @drarry-lets-play

HD Hurt-Comfort Fest 2024 | @hd-hurtcomfort-fest

HP Drizzle Fest 2024 | @hpdrizzle

HP Horrible Goose Fest 2024 | @horriblegoosefest

Unleashed! Fest 2024 | @unleashed-fest

Bring Back The Porn Challenge (1)

First Time Exchange 2024 (1)

Freaky Friday 2024

#drarry #drarry fanfic #drarry fic rec #harry potter #draco malfoy #monthly review #2024

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lesmisscraper · 2 years ago

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General Lamarque mentioned by Victor Hugo.

Clips from <Il cuore di Cosette>.

#Les miserables #les mis #My Post #General Lamarque #Don't you forget what today is?#General Lamarque is Dead!#Lamarque is dead.#The people's man.#Lamarque! His death is the hour of fate.#His death is the sign we await!#By the way though I think staffs really tried to describe him in this cartoon style!#The Brick #Il cuore di Cosette

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confused-pyramid · 1 year ago

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Tell Me Some Things Last | s3

pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader

summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.

word count: 23.1k

warnings: canon!typical violence, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, specific episodes mentioned in this part are 3x01, 3x02, 3x03, 3x06, 3x08, 3x09, 3x14, 3x16, 3x17, 3x19, and 3x20

a/n: season 3! The slow burn continues:) This was really fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it! (and I promise the chapters won't keep getting longer, this one just got out of hand LMAO) Title is from Heal by Tom Odell

series masterlist

"Excuse me?"

Section Chief Strauss doesn't falter. "You can't expect me to believe you think Agent Hotchner has done an effective job leading this unit."

"You can't expect me to believe that you think I'd willing spy on my unit chief for you."

She sighs and you want to throttle her. "Agent L/N, I know you two share a history, but this is bigger than that. People have died on his watch."

You have been trying to remain neutral since you were called into her office, but every word that comes out of her mouth makes you see red. Yes, this past year has been tough, but none of it was in his control.

"I think you know my answer," you say coldly, straightening your back in her chair. "I have to go, we have a case in Arizona."

She holds your gaze for a second, before nodding and turning back to her computer. You stand up and leave her office without another word, hastening your pace to a light jog the moment you're out of her line of sight.

You want to talk to Hotch as soon as possible, but by the time you get back to the bullpen, the whole team and their go-bags are gone. Grabbing your own bag, you rush over to the airstrip where everyone is settled inside the jet.

He glances up with a thin smile when you take a seat across from him, and you return it, not wanting to raise his concern when everyone is around.

The Flagstaff police meet you at the airport when you land, and everyone jumps into the awaiting SUVs to get to the crime scene as soon as possible.

The victim is another brunette woman on the college campus, but luckily her body was found after curfew, so students aren't milling around.

You step closer to examine the woman's body as JJ glances down at her hand. "She had her Mace out, but she didn't use it?"

Morgan nods, looking around. "And it's well-lit. He's not afraid of being seen."

A bus stop sign catches your attention and you turn to Detective Griffith. "How often do the shuttles run?"

He answers immediately. "Every 10 minutes."

"Were all the other victims posed like this?" Reid asks, bending over to get a better look. "With their arms crossed."

Griffith frowns. "Yeah. Why?"

"It's a classic sign of remorse," Morgan responds, stepping in to take over the explanation. "The unsub kills the victim then immediately feels bad about it, so he poses them like this, so they'll rest in peace."

"You can tell that just by the arms?"

"It's why you called us here. To build a psychological profile of your killer."

After inspecting the crime scene, Gideon and Morgan leave to talk to the dean of the school, and JJ and Reid go to meet with the students living in the victim's dorm. Hotch is still back at the station, and you haven't gotten a chance to talk to him since meeting with Strauss, but you push it out of your mind as you accompany Emily to the coroner's office.

You're so lost in thought that the drive over is entirely silent, and it's not until you've parked that you realize she didn't say a word either.

When the coroner leads you to the victim's body, you notice how much clearer each of the markings and cuts are. Hotch doesn't assign you to speak with the coroners very often, usually sending Prentiss, because of her incredible attention to detail, but not that you're here, you appreciate the second chance to examine the victim.

"Did the other victims have this much overkill?" she asks, pulling out her camera as you flip open your notebook.

"Death was caused by a single, very forceful stab wound to the heart," the coroner confirms.

You lean in closer to see the insertion point and notice the lumpy discoloring on the victim's chest. "Yeah, it looks like he broke through the breastbone."

"And after that he just lashed out at random," he adds.

Emily hums in agreement before snapping a couple of photos. "Well, no defensive wounds. She didn't even hold her hands up to fight him off."

"The first two victims were the same."

A shudder runs through you as the two of you leave the cold room and emerge into the warm sunlight. "Why is it almost harder to look at the victims when they're cleaned up and no longer covered in blood?"

Emily considers your question for a moment. "Maybe it's because they look less human that way."

You remember Jeff's funeral, how lifeless he seemed in his casket, and how you could barely look at him during the proceedings. It was somehow worse than seeing him at the crime scene, blood everywhere. At least then, you could still see the warmth in his skin. Later, he just looked cold.

"I think you're right," you tell her just as her phone chirps with a call.

She stiffens imperceptibly when she sees the number, but you only notice because of how hyper-vigilant you have been about your own tells since speaking with Strauss. "I need to take this. Give me a second."

She walks away from you and answers the call, her tone hushed so that you can't hear her. You know it could easily just be a personal call about something private in her life, but there's something almost familiar about the look in her eyes when she saw the number.

"Everything okay?" you ask her when she returns, but she just sighs and starts walking to the SUV. "It's nothing."

You haven't known her for as long as the other members of the team, but it's not hard to tell that she's hiding something. She looks distracted as she avoids making eye contact, and when you remember how you did the same with Hotch on the plane, the pieces fall into place.

If Strauss gave her the same assignment she tried to give you, then you need to keep an eye on her. You don't believe that she would sell out the team, but you also know how terrifying you thought Strauss was when you first joined the bureau.

***

The profile leads you to take Nathan Tubbs, one of the campus security guards, into custody, and while Gideon interrogates him, you walk with Reid, JJ, and Emily through the quad to get back to the station.

"Everyone is so much younger than I remember being," JJ says, as you all pass through a crowded part of campus. Word must have spread that the team arrested someone, because you can't imagine why else there would be so many students hanging outside after dark.

"Yeah, it's a weird age," Emily chuckles. "You want to be treated like an adult, but you're still used to someone else solving your problems for you."

"All I remember is trying to figure out who I was."

That makes you laugh. "I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was in college."

"Didn't you go to college with Hotch?" JJ asks, her eyes twinkling. You expect she's hoping for an embarrassing, or at least interesting, story from those years, but your past with him feels almost like sacred territory: something you can't breach when he's not around.

"Not college," you correct, "just everything else before and after."

"What was he like then?" Emily asks, genuine curiosity in her tone. You still can't believe that she would spy for Strauss, but you also can't help your suspicions.

"He was completely different, but also the same." You smile as you think back to the early years of your friendship. "He was kind of a cool kid in high school, but he was just as focused and determined as he is now."

"Hotch was popular?" Reid asks in disbelief.

JJ snorts. "Why can't I imagine that at all."

"He was trustworthy," you shrug, "and kind. Even when people weren't kind to him."

The three of them go silent, and you suddenly feel extremely self-conscious, but you're saved when your phone rings with a call from Derek. "Hey."

"There's been another murder."

***

The case ends in a murder-suicide that a part of you believes Gideon should've seen coming. JJ calls the jet to take off at first light, and everyone looks exhausted when you arrive at the airport. You sleep most of the flight back, but when you step into the field office again, you know you can't ignore the talk you've been avoiding all day.

You go to his office in the hopes of having this conversation privately, but he isn't inside when you look through the open door. You turn back with a frown and are about to head down the stairs again when you see him leaving Strauss's office across the hall.

He spots you immediately, and before you can say anything, he says, "I just got suspended."

Your mouth falls open. "What?"

"Two weeks."

You blanche as you follow him into his office, where he immediately starts packing up his essentials into his briefcase. "Hotch...I have to tell you something. Something I should have mentioned yesterday."

"What is it?" he asks, his voice slightly distracted.

"StraussaskedmetospyonyouandIthinkshealsoaskedEmily!"

He blinks. "Can you say that again?"

You press your lips together, before trying again, slower this time. "Strauss asked me to spy on you, and I think she also asked Emily."

He closes his eyes for a beat, but it feels like years. You can feel the disappointment wafting off of him, but he doesn't say anything, giving you the time to explain in more detail.

"She asked me right before we flew to Arizona," you tell him, your chest aching at the defeated look on his face. "I told her I wouldn't do it, of course, and that you are the perfect leader for this team. But I was watching Emily the whole time we were there, and I think Strauss might have threatened her or made her some kind of offer."

His hands pause their packing and for a moment, you're worried that he's going to be angry you didn't come to him sooner, but then he just sighs, a deeply dejected sound. "I figured she would. It's basically in the FBI playbook."

"You knew?" you say, your voice almost like a gasp.

"I didn't know for sure," he amends, "but I believed so. And I'm usually right about these kinds of things. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. You guys will be fine without me."

You want to shake him; to reach forward and rattle his shoulders until he realizes that this is it. This is exactly why he makes such a great unit chief.

He doesn't get angry, even when he may have cause to be. He trusts his team so wholeheartedly that even under the suspicion of spying to the higher-ups, he still treats everyone the same. He puts the team above himself in almost every aspect, and the intermittent calls you get from Haley when you're in the middle of a long case prove that it may be to his own detriment, but he still does it. Because he cares so deeply, about each of you, and about each victim, and about catching each killer.

"We need you," you say, emphasizing your words as though that will make him understand you better.

"Morgan and Prentiss will be fine," he says pointedly, as though trying to prove a point. "I'm sure they'll even be better off. And Reid and JJ can look to you for guidance. It's practically what they do already."

"Fine," you sigh, throwing your hands up in exasperation. "They'll be okay. But what if I need you?"

He looks at you then, and there's a sadness behind the stern set of his eyes. "You'll be okay."

***

You have to drag yourself out of the house the next morning. The knowledge that Hotch (and most likely Gideon) won't be at the office sucks the motivation out of you, especially because you have no idea what will happen once the team is given another case. Will they assign you a new unit chief? Will they temporarily promote someone on the team?

You push your questions out of your mind as you mindlessly get through security and flop down at your desk. There's a palpable difference with half the team gone, especially since Emily doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight either, and the emptiness of the office somehow feels more claustrophobic.

You finished all of your paperwork the night before, because you couldn't sleep after hearing of Hotch's suspension, so sitting at your desk now, you have nothing to do until a new case arrives.

Reid and Morgan dive into their own paperwork the minute they sit down, and they don't look up except to grab a new pen or refill their mugs.

You can see the tension lining everyone's shoulders, the stress about the future of this team, with its two senior-most members gone.

When you can't take the lack of work anymore, you head over to JJ's office, where she is poring over a stack of case files so tall that you can't see her face until you step in front of her desk. "Hey, JJ."

"Oh, hey," she says, looking up at you. "It's been really quiet out there."

You nod, dropping onto the sofa across from her. "Half the team's gone. It doesn't feel the same."

"I wish I could come out there and sit with you guys, but I have so many new case files to look over."

"Need any help?"

She looks up in surprise. "Actually, that would be great. Can I leave you with a few of them? There's a checklist for what I need you to note down at the top of that stack."

"Of course," you say before she hands you a thick stack of files. "I'll get them back to you soon."

"Take your time," she says, waving you away. "I have like a billion more to go through anyway."

When you're back at your desk, you set down the stack with a small thud and open the first file. You're bombarded with gory images of men who have been brutally stabbed to death, and you read over the case history quickly before opening the next one. This time, the images are of live women, all of whom share a skin tone and hair color, and have been kidnapped in the last week.

You slam the file shut and close your eyes in an effort to keep your head from spinning. You don't understand how anyone could classify these cases. How they could decide that one of these unsubs is worse than another. But there aren't enough teams like yours to cover every case that comes through the door, so someone has to.

You glance up at Hotch's office again, a force of habit, and the darkness in his doorway reminds you of the emptiness in the office. It's the same with Gideon's office, and Emily's desk.

You miss them all.

***

The first week of Hotch's suspension is hell. Gideon still hasn't turned up, and you can see his absence clawing at Spencer, who hasn't gone more than an hour without glancing at his office since he left. Derek doesn't admit it, but you can tell he misses Hotch's leadership over the team.

Strauss has come by periodically to "check in" on your team's work, but with the other units available to take on any new cases, she hasn't assigned you anything. You know she doesn't trust your team, but you're surprised that even with Hotch gone, she's still treating all of you like extensions of him. Not that she's wrong about that.

Without getting called in, you stay at home for the first few days, and even get some use out of your Peloton for once. You've been missing him all week, but it's not until the following Monday that you decide to actually do something about it.

Grabbing the files JJ gave you to look over, you stuff them in your bag and drive up to his house. Both cars are in the driveway when you arrive, and you belatedly realize that you should have called first.

You knock on the door hesitantly, and are surprised to see Jack in Haley's arms when she opens the door. She looks excited to see you, but you still feel bad about just showing up. "I'm sorry, I should have called."

"Not at all," she says, opening the door wider for you to enter. "You know I love seeing you."

"Y/N's here," Haley announces as she leads you into the kitchen and sets Jack back into his high chair. She shoots you a pointed look. "And she's not here to talk about work."

"Of course not," you say with a laugh. "I just wanted to see how the suspension was going. The team really misses you."

He acknowledges you with a small nod, and you take a seat opposite him at the table, where he is feeding Jack his cereal.

"I miss everyone, too," he says, "but it's also been nice to have some extra time at home."

"This suspension has been a blessing in disguise," Haley jumps in, ruffling Jack's hair. You don't miss the way Hotch's jaw twitches.

You aren't sure what to say to that, but Haley just pulls Jack out of his chair and turns to the doorway. "I'm gonna put him down for his nap. It was nice seeing you, Y/N."

"You too, Hales," you say earnestly, before smiling at Jack. "Bye, buddy."

When she's out of the room, you shoot Hotch a look that makes him lean back with a frown. "What?"

"You miss work, don't you."

He huffs, and you take that as an admission. "I've loved being home," he says, his words slightly more emphasized than necessary.

You can hear the candor in his voice. You don't doubt that he loves spending time with his family, you just also know the pull of the job. The fulfillment of saving people from unimaginable horrors, and the desolate ache that comes when you know you aren't doing everything you can.

"You can feel both things," you whisper as he exasperatedly runs his hand through his hair. He got a haircut.

The thought pops into your head against your will, and you glance up at his hair as you realize this is the shortest it's been in a long time. It suits him, but it also emphasizes the hard furrow of his brow.

"Haley doesn't understand that," he says simply, no ill intention in his tone, "but I can't expect her to. I barely understand it, and it's what I'm feeling."

To the outside listener, his words could be construed as complaints, but there's nothing but deep empathy in his voice. He loves her so much, and even though they're having differences about his work life, she loves him too.

You spend the next half hour talking him through each of the cases that JJ left you with, and when Haley returns to the kitchen after putting Jack down for his nap, you pull out a chair for her and tuck the files away.

"We need to have you over for dinner sometime soon," she says as soon as she takes a seat. "I can't believe we haven't done it yet." She looks to Hotch with an earnest sigh. "I guess Jack has been kind of a handful, but I can't believe this is your first time coming to the house since he was born."

"It's been too long," he agrees, draping an arm over the back of her chair. The sight of their casual intimacy is a reminder of what you once had, but the usual mistiness doesn't come when you think about Jeff. Your chest just fills with a liquid-y warmth that feels like melted chocolate and syrup.

"Likewise," you smile, patting Haley's hand. "I don't know if I can handle another night out, even with the mid-evening interruption."

She laughs heartily, and you see Hotch's lips curve up involuntarily. "I think I'm partied out for the year."

His arm slips down to rest against her waist, but she doesn't lean into him like she usually does. You avert your eyes, glancing up at their kitchen wall clock and faking a gasp. "I've taken up too much of your family time. I should go."

"It's okay," Hotch assuages at the same time that Haley says, "I'll walk you out."

They share a small glance, and you suddenly feel intrusive in their home. "I'll see you in a week."

He nods and you follow Haley to the door, where she gives you a quick squeeze and another promise to have you over for dinner soon. The sun starts to set as you drive home, and before you can second guess yourself, you're turning into a local farmer's market that is about to shut down for the night.

You rush through the stalls and stop in front of the flower shop, where you buy a dozen pink carnations. The vendor ties the bouquet with a silky ribbon and you hold the flowers close to your heart as you walk back to your car and start driving.

This time, you're more aware of the direction you're headed. You don't stop your car until you're in the parking lot and you don't stop moving until you're past the front gates and up the grassy hill where Jeff's headstone sits stoically under the waning sunlight.

You take a deep breath as you sink down to your knees, blissfully unaware of the grass stains coloring your slacks. You set the flowers down in front of his headstone, which you haven't seen in months.

Jeff Adler

Beloved Son, Husband, Brother

Until we meet again

The carnations look bright against the gray stone, and you arrange them neatly so that they don't get blown away.

He loved flowers. He knew they were impermanent and likely a waste of money, but he still loved all of the different emotions they symbolized, and how beautiful they could be for as long as they lasted.

He brought you a bouquet of heliotrope almost every week after you got married, and when you asked him what it meant, he insisted that it was something you had to find out in your own time. That time came a quick Google search later, and when the words 'eternal love' flashed on your screen, you knew you had picked the right man.

You brush your finger against the petals of the pink carnations you brought, remembering the rest of what the search yielded. Angelica for inspiration, calla lily for beauty, and pink carnation for gratitude.

You're so grateful you met him. So grateful he loved you as much as you loved him.

"I love you," you whisper, suddenly needing to say the words out loud. There's no one around, and the sun has set far enough that there's barely enough light to see, but your words feel strong as they come out of your mouth. "Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for giving me 10 beautiful years."

You wipe away the tear that falls from the corner of your eye. "Goodbye."

***

He takes his time as he walks through the halls of the Virginia field office on Monday morning. He hasn't been inside in two weeks, and after he and Haley agreed that he should request a transfer, he likely won't be back again for a very long time.

When he walks past the glass doors of the bullpen, he spots you at your desk, pointing out something to Morgan in a case file. He hastens his pace so you don't see him. He still doesn't know how to tell you that he isn't coming back.

"Good morning, ma'am," he says when Strauss beckons him into her office.

"I was hoping you'd do the right thing," she says, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Have you given any thought to what department you'll request?"

He shakes his head. "I was under the impression that if I left the BAU, I'd have my choice of posts."

"Well, I'll consider it after I fully complete my investigation."

She pauses before looking at him again. "You were a prosecutor. What about heading up a white-collar crime task force? That'll get you home at night at a reasonable hour."

That sounds like exactly what Haley wants for them. They spent hours over the last week discussing what the best path forward would be post-suspension, and after countless late-night arguments, they finally agreed on a transfer. It would be best for the team, and best for his family. So why does he feel so guilty?

"Sorry to interrupt."

Prentiss barges into the office, as though she had an appointment. She glances over at him, and he can't read her expression. "Sir, I've decided to resign from the FBI, effective immediately."

"I don't understand," he frowns, taking in her rigid posture. He remembers your suspicions, as well as his own, but this can't be where it ends.

"I'm taking the foreign service exam. With my connections, I'd stand a good chance of landing in the State Department."

"Prentiss," he urges, trying to convey his understanding in his tone. "I think that's a mistake."

She shakes her head with a sigh. "Well, don't try to talk me out of it. Garcia saw my name on the list, and she already tried."

That makes him pause. "If she can't talk someone out of doing something, no one can."

"Sorry for the interruption, but, sir, it's good to see you back." She turns her gaze to Strauss, even as she continues speaking to him. "The team needs you."

She stalks out of the room after a quick "Ma'am", leaving him alone with Strauss, who looks like she's up to her last nerve. "I'll be overseeing this next case until I can assign your replacement."

"You don't have any field experience, do you?" He doesn't mean for the words to come out so critically, but his emotions are a jumbled mess that he can't decipher well enough to fix his mood right now.

"My job is to protect the Bureau. If I have to hold the team's hand for one case, so be it."

Hold the team's hand. He can't imagine that Strauss will be of much help in the field, but he keeps his mouth shut. He's been around enough authority figures to know when to keep his criticisms to himself.

"Ma'am," he says gently, hoping he can turn his thoughts into useful advice. "In order to function effectively, this team needs stability."

She clasps her hands together on her desk, and he knows it's done. There's nothing he can do to fix this for the team, at least not on this case. "The BAU has some very talented people, and they're Bureau assets, and I believe it's time that they were out from underneath the leadership of you and Jason Gideon."

***

Hotch was supposed to come back today. It's not until you're on the plane that Derek informs the team that he's requesting a transfer.

"What?" you burst out, unable to keep your composure even with Strauss seated a few rows behind you.

"He didn't tell you?"

You shake your head with a forlorn frown, and Derek jumps back in quickly to remediate the situation. "I only found out because I ran into him on the way to the jet. He didn't seem like he was in the mood for talking."

But he tells you everything. At least you thought he did.

"It's okay," you say, forcing your face into a neutral expression. "This isn't about me. I just can't believe he's leaving."

"Yeah," JJ grimaces, "and I can't believe we're stuck with her now. You know, from this angle, she looks almost human."

You all glance behind you, but thankfully, her face is still buried in the case file.

"Emily didn't come in today, either," you point out, turning to the empty seat next to you. "We're down two agents, and Gideon's MIA."

Reid blinks, and you curse yourself for being so cavalier. You know how hard Gideon's absence has been on him.

He recovers quickly and leans in to the center console with a raised eyebrow. "Has Strauss ever even been out of the-"

A chorus of shushes come from Derek and JJ and he shuts up as Strauss walks down the aisle and sits across from you all. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it's protocol to brief everyone before we arrive at the crime scene?"

JJ turns red and she nods hastily, opening her file. "Yes, ma'am."

Strauss has only been here for ten minutes and you already want to strangle her. JJ explains the case details succinctly, and when the plane lands, you all head over to the crime scene to find Detective Wolynski, who called your team in when the murders got out of hand.

Within minutes of meeting them, Strauss manages to ruin your relationship with the local police by questioning their decision to wait so long to call in the BAU. JJ immediately takes matters into her own hands as she explains that we have to work with them if we want to be included in the investigation at all, but she doesn't seem to care.

You get a call from Penelope as you're heading back to the SUVs, and you step aside to get out of Strauss's earshot. "What's up, Pen?"

"I tried everything I could," she wails. You can hear the distinct clicking of her keyboard in the background. "I tried to convince him to stay, but he's so stubborn."

You sigh, glancing over at the scene, where Strauss looks positively nauseous. You can empathize with her emotions, because you know how hard it was for you to see your first crime scene in person, but this just further proves how unfit she is to understand what being on this team really means. "If he made up his mind, there's gonna be no changing it, unless he changes it himself."

She huffs, before audibly perking up. "I gave him the Milwaukee case file before he went home, and I also, uh, saw that his transfer hasn't passed through the system yet."

You're almost certain she had something to do with that, but your mind immediately starts going through the possibilities of what this could mean. If his transfer isn't in the system, then that means he technically still works on this team...which means him not being here is in dereliction of duty. If there's anything that can convince Hotch to show up, it's duty.

"You've been more help than you know," you tell her, before hanging up and hopping into the SUV.

***

When he arrived at his house with the case file Garcia gave him, he immediately stuffed it in his bag and tossed it onto the floor. He definitely didn't think about reading it the entire time he was changing out of his suit, and making a quick lunch for Haley and himself. When she went upstairs to put Jack down for his nap, he couldn't help himself any longer.

Reaching into his bag, he pulls out the file and flips it open slowly, being careful to angle the gruesome photos away from the stairs in case Haley came down without him noticing. Women taken in the afternoons and killed. Bodies dumped in the morning. Hearts cut out of their chests. The words pop out at him as he skims the page, and he's so engrossed in the material that he doesn't hear her until she's standing over him. "I thought this was over."

"It is," he sighs, closing the file. "I'm just curious." He doesn't know when he started lying to his wife, but he doesn't like it. The bitter taste of it in his mouth.

He can see her gearing up for a fight when their home phone rings. He picks it up and clicks the button to answer, but even after saying 'hello' a couple of times, no one responds. For a split second, his mind flashes back a year to the Fisher King and the secret message left on his home phone, but he pushes the thought away.

He clicks the phone off, looking up at Haley again, but then a shrill ringing sound starts again, this time from her purse across the living room.

An unfamiliar queasiness fills his stomach, and he maintains eye contact with her as her eyes flicker back and forth a couple of times. He promised himself he would never profile his family, but the analyses come before he can shut off that part of his brain. Shifting eyes. Rigid posture. All indications of lying and shame.

"What did the Section Chief say?" she asks, her hands going to her hips. Stance of power to overcompensate for-

He shakes the line of thinking from his head. "She suggested that I transfer to a white-collar-crime task force."

"Would you have to travel?"

"No, I'd have a nine-to-five life."

She nods, and he can see the finality in her stance. "Then, it's a no-brainer."

***

You haven't been able to focus as well as you'd like to with the knowledge that Hotch isn't coming back hanging over your head. When you get a spare moment at the station, you step out of the conference room where all of the evidence has been scattered around and press the first number on your speed dial.

"Hello?" It's Haley.

You stumble over your words as you say 'hello' back. You weren't expecting it to be her who answered. She clearly wasn't expecting you either, because she sighs dramatically when she hears your voice and you hear a quiet "It's Y/N" before the phone is handed over.

You can understand where she's coming from. When Jeff was about to start his undercover assignment, you were so angry at him for choosing to be away from you for so long. But then rationality won over, and you remembered why he was doing it...for the same reason you are.

"Hey."

He sounds guilty. You can imagine.

"Hey," you say simply, waiting for him to fill in the gaps. He owes you at least that much.

"I'm sorry," he says after a long pause, "but you knew this was coming. You know Haley hates what this job turns me into, and you know sometimes I hate it too."

That wasn't really the explanation you were expecting. Not willing to let him off the hook, you turn your face away from the conference room windows to hide your expression and lower your voice. "You should have told me, and you know it. That's why you're hiding behind this false justification...but I guess you know that too."

There's a small rustling sound over the receiver and you can imagine him running his hands through his newly cropped hair. "This doesn't change the fact that I'm leaving."

Sometimes you forget that he was once a young boy with an alarmingly developed moral compass that didn't always point in your direction. It's times like this that remind you.

"Fine." You feel like an irritable teenager again, but you can't contain yourself around him. Even when you want to hide a part of yourself, you can't.

"How's the case going?" he asks finally. His voice has gotten softer and you know he feels bad about how this call has been going, but with neither of you willing to concede, you decide to ignore it for now.

"Well, Strauss just offended the lead detective 45 seconds into her first crime scene."

He chuckles softly. "I'm not surprised."

"This isn't about to get any better, is it?" you ask, huffing out a forlorn sigh.

"I doubt it," he agrees. "I'll keep looking at the file from my end. Any idea how he's getting control of these women? Is he blitzing them or coercing them?"

"So far, we're coming up blank," you admit, glancing back at Morgan and Reid, who appear to be in a productive debate.

"All right. Keep me posted."

***

Another victim turns up and you're not any closer to figuring out who the unsub is. Derek steps away from the group a few minutes after you and you see him pacing the halls of the precinct, his phone pressed to his ear.

A break in the case comes when Garcia identifies school records of children who exhibit signs of perfectionism and co-dependence, leading you to a profile for the unsub. You're all listening to Garcia as she reads off the records when the door opens, with two figures standing in the entrance.

"Look who's here," Morgan grins, shaking Hotch's hand. Emily looks sheepish as she glances over at Strauss, who is downright fuming.

"How fast can you get us up to speed?" Hotch asks without another greeting.

Morgan scoffs. "How fast can you sit down?"

Strauss opens her mouth to say something, but Hotch beats her to it as he takes a seat next to you. You ignore the gesture. "We're only here to help."

She sighs. "We'll deal with this later."

With two more members back on the team, at least for the time being, the SUVs are split more evenly, and you join Emily, JJ, and Strauss in the first one as you head to the crime scene. Strauss is the first one to walk up to the scene, but the moment she sees the mangled body, she breaks down, her face contorting into a sob that she tries and fails to hold in.

You make a move to go and help her, but you're surprised when Hotch is the first to step in. "If you need a second, take a second. This is what it is. Just don't let the public see you break down."

He's so kind to her, even though she's the reason for all of his professional stress. You suppose she's not the only reason, but that isn't something you get to have an opinion on.

The devolution of the dump sites leads to an update of the profile, which gets you an address for a young boy who left school early with the nurse on duty. It doesn't take long to get to the house, and Derek and JJ coordinate some of the local police and SWAT as you strap on your kevlar vests.

After an initial argument about the probable cause of entering a house you don't know is dangerous, Emily pipes up with an idea. "Let me go in alone."

"Wait..." you start but she steamrolls over you, clearly needing to compensate for not being here before. "The boy's in the family room. He's looking for female authority figures. If he lets me in, I can signal as soon as I see anything that gives us cause."

"Technically, you're not even in the FBI," Reid points out.

She nods. "All the better."

Strauss steps in with a frown, to no one's surprise. "She's interfering with a federal investigation."

"Well, if I'm no longer in the FBI, then you have no authority over me." Emily shrugs and turns to Hotch for the approval she actually wants. "I'm just a civilian knocking on a little boy's door."

He nods and she pulls her hair back into a ponytail. Derek hands her his gun, and you suddenly remember that Hotch doesn't have his gun either. Reaching into your other side holster, you pull out your second firearm and hand it to him without a word. He doesn't lift his hand at first, but then he nods at you and takes the gun, his eyes filled with an earnest gratitude, and you know you've forgiven him.

Once she goes inside, you all wait in silence for the signal to breach the home. It takes almost too long, but eventually your earpieces fill with a loud beeping, and Derek yells "Go!"

You find her in a back room, where she's on the floor, her forehead bleeding from a thick gash. You enter just in time to see Hotch leap forward and take Emily's weapon from the little boy, before lifting him up and carrying him out of the house.

"I can't officially approve of how that transpired," Strauss says when you all come outside. You sit next to Emily and squeeze her hand as the paramedics patch up her forehead.

Hotch shakes his head, clearly done with the bureau politics. "The arrest was clean. It would be a mistake to break up this team."

She looks at him pointedly. "None of you will ever move up the chain of command, you know that."

"Why would I ever want to leave the BAU?"

You almost believe him. It's not that you don't think he wants to stay. You know he does. You just also know how much his family means to him, and how thin Haley's patience has worn.

Morgan asks if he means it, and he gives a vague answer that you expect, before turning to look at you.

"Here." He reaches into his waistband and pulls out your gun. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

His hand brushes yours when you take it back, and the warmth of his skin makes you shiver against the slight breeze. "You're welcome."

***

When he gets home, the lights are off.

"Haley?" he calls out into the empty silence. He tries to convince himself that he didn't see this coming, but after her last words to him before he left, it's a futile exercise.

"Make sure to give your son a kiss before you leave."

He left, even when she begged him not to. Now his wife has left, and she took their son with her, and once again, he is utterly alone.

***

Gideon's resignation comes through and you find yourself missing him more than you thought you would. If Hotch is the backbone of the team, he was the stoic foundation. He formed the roots of the BAU as a unit altogether, and you owe your life's work to his intelligence and foresight. But more than that, you can't help but remember the fact that out of all the members on the team, Gideon knew Jeff the best.

He attended countless lectures about past unsubs that Gideon put on at the academy, because he believed understanding why people do things was just as important as knowing how or what they were doing. He even went to Gideon's home for the occasional dinner, and he brought you along once after you got married.

You're not sure what the team will look like without his guiding hand, but you don't have to wait long to find out when JJ calls you with the notice that you're going to Portland.

Spencer is reading a piece of paper over and over again when you get to the office, and when you peek over his shoulder, you see the familiar scrawl of Gideon's handwriting.

Taking a deep breath, you reach forward to put your hand on his shoulder for a moment of comfort, but think better of it and pull back at the last second. Derek sees your indecision and cocks his head towards him.

You walk over to his desk and perch on its edge with a sigh. "I can't believe he would leave just like that."

"I can," Morgan shrugs, his eyes hard with contempt. When you shoot him a look, he softens. "I just mean that he's been showing signs of withdrawal for a while now. It still sucks for the kid, though."

You both look up at Reid across the aisle, where he is still scanning the letter. "At least he got a letter." You try to bring humor into your tone, but it doesn't work.

"It's not about us," Derek says gently, in a show of empathy for the older agent that is unfamiliar coming from him. "He did what he had to do to keep himself sane. We just have to let him."

You nod, just as JJ emerges from the hallway with Hotch on her heels. "We're starting the briefing."

***

"You must be the BAU."

A handsome man with a thick East Coast accent comes forward to introduce himself when you all enter the Portland field office. "Special Agent Bill Calvert."

"Hi, Jennifer Jareau," JJ smiles, extending her hand. "This is SSA Aaron Hotchner. This is Dr. Reid and Agents Morgan, Prentiss and L/N."

He smiles at each of you but his eyes linger on yours for a moment before he takes JJ's hand. "I appreciate your help on this case."

"You're from Boston?" you ask, trying to place his accent after having heard nothing like it since you landed.

"The accent's kind of hard to miss in Oregon, right?" he grins, before reaching his hand out to you. "Agent L/N, was it?"

You shake his hand, shooting him a thin smile. You can already see Emily and JJ's smirks behind your back.

"We'd like to take a look around Jenny Wittman's apartment," Hotch steps in, moving forward to stand beside you.

Calvert nods. "I'd take you myself, but I'm waiting to meet her family, so I'll have another agent drive you."

"Thank you." Hotch rushes off with Reid and Morgan, and you stay back with JJ and Prentiss to work the victimology.

"Can we set up in here?" you ask Calvert as you start moving the boxes of case files and evidence onto the conference room table.

"Of course," he says, before leaving the three of you alone.

The first ten minutes of looking through the evidence is silent, and for a second, you nearly let yourself believe the other women won't bring up the elephant in the room, but then JJ lets out an involuntary giggle and they pounce.

"He's definitely into you," she says, making no effort to hide her gaze as she unabashedly stares at Calvert through the window. You want to retort immediately, but after seeing her check her phone about a dozen more times a day than she usually does, you suspect she may actually know what she's talking about when it comes to love these days.

Emily nods, biting her lip. "He couldn't stop looking at you."

"You're profilers," you argue, tossing the file in your hand onto the table. "You notice all kinds of insignificant stuff."

"So are you," JJ points out. "What do you think, then?"

They have you boxed in, and you can't think of any answer that would sufficiently appease them so you just groan.

"She's into it, too," JJ grins at Emily, who replies with, "I can't believe Y/N's gonna date someone from Portland."

Without thinking, you huff. "He's from Boston." All three pairs of eyes widen as you realize your slip in not denying her statement.

Emily laughs. "Ohh, it's so happening!"

***

When the men return from Jenny Wittman's apartment, Hotch instructs JJ to televise a statement warning possible future victims who fit the unsub's victimology. When Emily and Derek later find an ad hung up in a local laundromat that suggests he's been killing for longer than you'd previously thought, you decide to head back to the trail where the first bodies were found.

When you arrive on the scene, a dozen new bodies have been found further down the trail and near the water.

"How did we miss this before?" you think out loud, not realizing that Calvert has come up behind you.

"The trail's 40 miles long."

You jump when you hear his voice, and he apologizes after a small chuckle. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Special Agent Calvert," you say, your voice slightly airy as you catch your breath. "No need to apologize."

"Okay," he smiles, turning to stand in front of you, "and you can call me Bill."

He's a good looking man, and you don't dislike the feeling of someone showing interest in you, especially as clearly intelligent and qualified as him.

"Sure," you say, returning the smile. "I'm Y/N, btw."

"That's a pretty name," he says, his eyes glinting with mischievousness, before he turns back to the scene before you. "They dug up eight new graves before you got here."

You frown. "So the unsub didn't stick to the pattern."

"Guy had a busy year."

You nod, pondering what this change in M.O. could mean, when Bill interrupts your thoughts. "I'm interested to hear more about how this profiling thing goes."

You give him a quizzical smile, and his lips quirk up. "I took a class in criminal psychology in college, but I don't remember enough to be useful in this area."

"We observe human behavior," you explain, ignoring the subtle smirk Emily is flashing you from behind his back. "Profiling is about making connections and predicting future actions based on history, victimology, and behavior."

He takes a moment to digest your words before huffing out a laugh. "Sounds to me like we called in the right team."

When another agent comes by to ask him about the crime scene procedure, you take your leave and walk up the hill of mulch by the open graves. You are nearly to the SUV when you spot Morgan beelining towards you.

"Not you too," you sigh, rolling your eyes dramatically as you stalk away from him.

He catches up to you easily and throws an arm over your shoulders with a grin. "I'm not gonna give you the giggly girl talk that JJ and Prentiss clearly have covered. I just wanted to say one thing."

You look at him expectantly and he brings you both to a stop by the cars. "You're a catch, L/N." You start to roll your eyes again, but he shakes his head. "You are, so if you want to have a little no-strings-fun, then I'll have your back through and through."

You have no idea what no-strings-fun would look like, but you glance back at Bill, who is speaking animatedly with another agent about the change in digging patterns of the graves.

"I don't know what I want," you admit as Derek drops his arm and turns to face you.

"That's okay," he says, before the corner of his mouth quirks up into a smirk. "But figuring that out can be just as much fun too."

***

He would be lying if he said he hasn't noticed you talking to the Special Agent on the case. Calvert, he remembers as he thinks back to the capture and subsequent suicide of the unsub from the roof of his old therapist office.

They were able to find the final victim before she died, so even with the unsub's death, the case feels like a victory, and the whole team looks light on the way back to the jet.

He has been trying to keep himself light too, but every time he gets a moment to himself, his mind reverts back to the silent darkness of his home after he returned from the last case. The reminder that he hasn't seen Haley or Jack in days.

When he reaches the tarmac, he spots you talking to Calvert again, but the conversation looks different than before. The special agent looks nervous, and he tries to gauge whether you seem comfortable, before realizing how relaxed you look.

When he gets closer, he catches the end of a question that likely started with "Can I have your number?" You smile at the man, and he turns away, trying not to eavesdrop.

He can't tell what he wants you to say. He knows it's been enough time since Jeff's death that real dating isn't out of the question, but he can't reconcile the protective instinct flickering in his gut.

Regardless of the distance he tried putting between you and himself, your voice carries over the tarmac, and he hears you say, "I'm sorry." before the rest of the sentence gets jumbled in the breeze. Something that feels alarmingly like relief settles in his chest and he frowns at the foreign feeling of it coursing through his veins.

He boards the plane and purposefully chooses a seat with an empty spot next to it, knowing you'll choose to sit beside him after he practically ignored you all day. He really wasn't trying to shut you out, he just doesn't know how to broach the topic of separation with anyone, let alone someone who had as stable a marriage as you did.

When you board the jet and take your seat next to him, he glances over at you sheepishly and murmurs, "I overheard the end."

He's surprised when you laugh lightly. "It's okay. Everyone was going to find out soon enough, especially with how excited Prentiss and JJ were about it."

He nods, glad that you aren't angry about his invasion of your privacy. Then, before he can stop himself, he looks at you and asks, "You didn't want to see him again?"

"I don't think I'm looking to just date for dating's sake anymore," you explain, your eyes flitting around the cabin at the sleeping forms of the rest of the team. "I had a true love...I don't want to settle down again for anything less."

He understands that completely, but he can tell there's something else bothering you, and not just because of the rhythmic bouncing of your knee that you don't seemed to have noticed. "What else?"

You shrug, not meeting his eye. "I used to have my usual excuse, but I can't really say it's too soon anymore, can I?"

He frowns as he notices the visible strain on you that this burden has caused. "You get to decide that for yourself."

"I know," you sigh, rubbing your eye with a loose fist. "I just worry sometimes that I use Jeff as an excuse to keep myself closed off." Your knee stills, and Hotch scoots closer, even with the armrest in the way.

"You don't seem closed off to me."

Your eyes crinkle with laughter. "I'm not sure if that means much coming from you. You're not exactly the picture of openness, Hotch."

He knows you're mostly joking, but your read punches him in the gut in a way he doesn't expect. You must see the shock on his face, because you immediately lean in closer. "What is it?"

He shakes his head, trying to delay for as long as he can. If he doesn't say it out loud, maybe he can pretend that he's still a happily married man. That he didn't fail his wife and son by being as absent as he had wished his father had been, early in his life.

"It's not about Gideon leaving, is it?" You scrutinize him for a moment before shaking your head. "No. Hotch, what's the matter?"

"We agreed not to profile each other," he sighs, gritting his teeth against the pain of having to vocalize one of the lowest moments in his life.

"Aaron," you whisper. Your voice is soft and gentle, and he breaks.

"Haley left."

Your mouth parts in surprise, and he looks down at his lap, taking a deep breath. "And I don't know if she's coming back."

***

You've been waiting in the arrivals lot of the airport for almost an hour. You're assuming his flight got delayed, and you're grateful for the time to get yourself ready to see him, but the wait hasn't made your jitters any better.

You haven't seen Hotch since you left for college last year, and with his pre-law internship that he somehow snagged as a first year, it was a lonely summer.

When he called you last week with profuse apologies for not staying more in touch and a somber tone that had to be about more than his regrettable phone habits, you had told him that you would love to see him, but your winter break doesn't start for another month. After a few hushed breaths and a second of thinking, he told you that he had bought a plane ticket out to California for the following weekend.

That's why it's Friday afternoon, and you're still waiting for his familiar mop of dark hair to appear through the exit doors. A boy walks out right then, with the same raven hair and fit stature, and your heart rate hastens for a split second, before you realize it's not him.

You look down at your car's radio and twist the dial to change the station. It's been playing the same Madonna song nonstop, and you shut off the volume when the other stations are no different. Your shift in focus takes your attention away from the airport exit, so you jump in your seat when a quiet knock sounds at your passenger side window.

He's here. Your lips curve up into a bright smile and you unlock the door, letting him get in.

"Hi," you say, your voice weaker than you'd like.

"Hey, Y//N," he replies, pushing his long hair back from his face. The simple motion sets off butterflies in your stomach and you turn back to your steering wheel to keep your emotions off your face. He could always read you so easily. "It's good to see you."

He grins at you and leans forward to give you a quick, awkward hug over the center console. You involuntarily inhale as he pulls back, and the scent of his natural musk mixed with whatever new cologne he's been wearing smells dreamy on him.

You said you were over it, you tell yourself in your head. He has a girlfriend who he's going to marry, and you are his best friend. At least you were.

You don't really know where things stand between you two now. A year is a long time to go without seeing someone, and you're sure college has changed him in similar ways that it has changed you.

"I have one more class today," you say quickly as you pull your car out of the lot. "It's criminal psychology, so I figured you wouldn't mind coming to the lecture with me."

"Sounds fun," he says, before leaning his cheek against the window to watch the scenery that zips by. "God, the weather here is crazy."

"It's definitely warmer than I'm used to," you agree, struggling not to glance over at him. "We never had 70 degree winters growing up."

"Which do you prefer?"

You grin. "Home, of course."

"Of course."

You look at him then, and his expression is one you don't understand. It's the same look he gets when he's in the library and he finds a book he's been looking for.

The drive doesn't take long, and you bring him to your lecture, where he proceeds to pay more attention to the information being presented than you do. The class usually feels too short for you, but today, the time ticks by, because you can't focus.

It's been so long since you've sat next to him in a class, and the sight of him jotting down notes on a scrap piece of paper takes you back to high school, when he was still the more attentive one.

After the lecture, you both grab a quick dinner in the dining hall and settle back into your double dorm room, which you painstakingly cleaned up before he arrived.

"So, how long have you guys been friends?" your roommate, Katy, asks him as he drops into your desk chair. You've been watching her ogle him since he arrived, and if he's still as perceptive as he was in high school, it hasn't escaped his notice either.

"Forever," he says, looking at you with a grin. "We met when we were eight. When she judged my taste in The Beatles, it was over for me."

You can't help the heat that flames in your cheeks, even though you know this story by heart. Katy keeps glancing over at you as he explains how you guys met, and eventually she gets up and flops down onto your bed next to you. "You're bringing him to the party tonight, right?"

Your eyes widen as you remember that was today. "Oh, I don't know. We might just stay in."

"You have to come!" she squeals, shaking your arm. She turns to him with a pointed look. "We already have outfits picked out."

"I guess we gotta go, then," he smiles at her, before looking at me with a small raise of his eyebrow. You okay with that?

You dip your chin into a nod, and he stands up. "I'll head out for a walk as you guys get ready."

"Sounds good!" Katy says, grabbing your hand and sliding off the bed. "We'll see you in an hour."

Once the door closes behind him, Katy turns to you, her mouth agape. "You never told me how cute he is."

"What?" you sputter, your cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.

"You also didn't tell me you're, like, in love with him."

You scoff involuntarily, your usual diversion technique when someone brings up a topic you want to evade. "What are you talking about?"

"Okay," she shrugs, reaching into your closet and tossing you the dress you were planning to wear. "If that's how you want to play it."

You go into your attached bathroom to change into your outfit, but after seeing Hotch, the mini sundress you picked out feels like too much. You hate how much you're overthinking something as stupid as an outfit for a party.

You turn away from the mirror and go back into your dorm, where Katy is applying her signature shade of red lipstick in her little mirror stand.

"He has a serious girlfriend," you whisper, almost too quiet for her to hear you. But she is more perceptive than you give her credit for. "Like eventual marriage-serious."

"Oh, honey," she coos, patting the bench seat next to her. You scoot in until you're side by side and she wraps an arm around your shoulders. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"It's okay," you shake your head, leaning on her shoulder. "I just need to get over it. It's a stupid crush that I've had since high school, but it's time. Maybe this party will help."

"Yes, exactly!" she grins, turning her head to look at you. "Nothing that a little music and a few shots can't fix."

"A few shots?" you laugh.

She nods. "Each."

You down another shot of whiskey before tossing your cup onto the table and following Katy onto the dance floor. She grinds against her boyfriend as you dance beside them, moving your hips side to side with the rhythm of the music.

Being in Los Angeles, the temperature outside is already warmer than it should be in November, but inside the house, your dress is sticking to your skin from the sweat and body heat surrounding you.

You're feeling the alcohol enough to have a good time even in the sweaty throng of bodies around you, and you throw your head back as you close your eyes and feel the thump of the music vibrating the floor boards.

Meanwhile, Hotch can't find you anywhere. He's drunk enough already that he knows he won't be able to find you himself, but he doesn't know anyone else here, so he grabs a half empty bottle from the drinks table and makes his way to the dance floor, where the life of the party seems to be centered.

He's usually a lot more fun at parties, but lately he hasn't felt like himself. Ever since you left for school across the country, it has felt like something in his life was wrong, like he was missing a limb. Then, things started looking up with Haley, and he pushed you away in the hopes that he would forget about any of the doubts he had, but it didn't work. The more he missed you, the worse things got in his relationship, and suddenly he wasn't sure what his life was supposed to look like anymore.

He takes another swig from the bottle and leans back against the counter as he watches people dance against each other in the dim light of the house. His eyes flicker over the mess of bodies until they catch on someone he almost doesn't recognize.

Your eyes are closed and your hands are in the air as you move to the beat. It's not exactly graceful music, but you have managed to find some semblance of a rhythm as you slide your hands down your thin dress, which is sticking to your body in a way he can't take his eyes off of.

He doesn't realize he has lifted the bottle to his lips again until the liquid is burning his throat, and he tears his eyes away from you as his head starts to spin. Maybe he's had enough for tonight. He puts the bottle down just as your roommate spots him. Katy, he thinks, or is it Sadie?

"Aaron!" she calls, stumbling over to him as a man holds her up with an arm around her waist. "Where's Y/N?"

"Not sure," he lies easily, barely conscious of the way his words have started to slur together. "I may head out soon."

"Don't leave without her," she instructs, her voice suddenly getting serious. "I'm staying with him tonight." She pats the man's arm. "So I won't be going back with her."

He nods with a resigned sigh, and slumps down on a couch in the next room, leaning his head back to stop the room from spinning.

When you tire of dancing, you push to the back of the crowd and look around to find any familiar face. You can't see Katy or her boyfriend anywhere, but after exiting the room, you spot Hotch asleep on the couch.

You walk forward with a slanted smile and put your hand on his shoulder to shake him awake. "Hotch, get up."

He groans, peeling his eyes open slowly. "I'm awake. Just resting my eyes."

"Yeah, yeah," you tease, looping your arm through his to help him up. "How much did you drink?"

He shrugs and you wrap your arm around his waist to hold him upright as he stumbles forward. "Whoa there. Okay, let's get you back."

You manage to get him out of the house, and once the fresh air hits, he can almost stand up straight on his own. You keep your arm around him just in case, trying to ignore the way his tee shirt is slowly riding up around his waistband.

You make the walk back in silence, and he falls back onto your bed as you lock the door behind you.

"I'm sorry," he whispers when you perch on the edge of the bed next to him.

"It's okay," you say, huffing out a laugh. He looks so young with his hair falling onto his face, and you resist the urge to push it back off his forehead. "Happens to the best of us."

"No, not that." He rolls over with a groan, flopping onto his back and scooting back so he can lay on your pillow. "I'm sorry I stopped calling."

Your heart skips a beat and you tuck your hair behind your ear, needing to occupy your hands somehow as your mind races with a million questions. "It's my fault too."

"No, it's not."

He isn't slurring his words anymore, but you can still hear the earnestness that only comes when one's filter is completely shattered. He was never one to hide things from you, but you also know how truthful people can get when alcohol takes their mask away.

"Haley and I have been having problems for a while," he mutters, making you sigh. So that's why he flew here in the middle of the school year. "We haven't been seeing eye to eye on a lot of things, and we decided to take a break, but I haven't told anyone, because the only person I wanted to tell was you."

You can't look at him. His gaze is too much, his eyes too full of truth and intensity. "Hotch-"

"I miss you so much," he says, cutting you off. "You're the only person I've ever really been able to talk to, but you know that, don't you? It's the same for you, it has to be."

You don't say anything. The air feels thick with tension, and you're afraid that if you say something, the room will explode.

"She's the perfect girlfriend," he says wistfully, his voice tight with an emotion you can't decipher. "I know it's me who's fucking it up, and I hate myself for it, because she's trying so hard to make this work. But every time it feels perfect, and I think I've finally gotten what I wanted, I just remember-"

"Aaron."

You look at him and his eyes are already staring into yours. You have wanted him to love you the way you loved him for years, but not like this. Never like this.

"You can't fuck this up," you whisper, your voice stronger than you expect it to be. "Call Haley tomorrow morning. Tell her you're sorry, and that you love her, because you do. You know you do."

"I love her," he nods as sleep pulls his eyelids down. "Tomorrow..I'll call her."

You watch him as his limbs relax and his breathing evens out, but you don't fall asleep until the sun starts to rise and you physically can't keep your eyes open anymore.

***

"Happy All Hallow's Eve, folks."

Reid pulls his mask off as Derek looks at him with a frightened frown.

"Are you scared of Halloween?" you ask him, trying to keep the grin off your face.

"I didn't say I was scared," he corrects, glancing over at Reid, who drops his mask on his desk and pushes his hair back from his face, "I said I was creeped out."

"What creeps you out about it?" Emily asks, before grinning at you.

"I bet it's the candy," you joke. "Those muscles probably cower at the sight of anything that isn't meat or protein powder."

Emily snorts and Derek frowns at both of you. "It's the masks. I don't like people in disguises."

"That's the best thing about Halloween," Reid chimes in. "You can be anyone you want to be."

Derek grins. "No, I'm pretty good just being me."

You and Emily share a look. "Yeah, why is it that neither of those points of view surprise me?"

"Guys," Reid suddenly calls out, his voice hushed. "He's here."

You turn around to see Hotch walking down the stairs, accompanied by Agent David Rossi, who you've heard a lot about in your years at the bureau. He was one of the founding members of the BAU, and you can't help but wonder what made him want to come back.

JJ introduces him to everyone, before Reid starts spouting off a list of facts from one of the old cases he solved when he was the chief of the unit.

"Reid, slow down," Hotch says with an uncharacteristic smile. "He'll be here for a while. Catch up with him later."

He nods. "Right, sorry."

Agent Rossi doesn't seem fazed. "No problem, Doctor."

This pleasantly surprises you. It's all too often that new people who meet Spencer don't immediately treat him with the respect he deserves.

"Let's start the briefing."

***

The flight back from Texas is hushed. The case went about as well as you could hope, with them catching the unsub and saving the final victim, but the way Rossi went rogue over and over again has rubbed you the wrong way.

You watch him across the cabin as he pores over his little notebook, and you wish you could peek inside his head. You know that the team aspect of the BAU is a newer addition to the unit, but you don't understand how he can keep all of his thoughts to himself.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Gah," you fright, jumping in your seat. "When did you sit next to me?"

Hotch shrugs, his lip quirking up. "A few minutes ago."

"Well, you should really wear a bell or something, god."

"Y/N," he says, giving you a pointed look. He doesn't let you use your evasion tactics anymore. Given your penchant for aimless talking, you suppose that's a good thing.

"I was just thinking about Rossi," you sigh, glancing up at him again. "Lying to the press to get a reaction from the unsub? Taking over that phone call? I don't like how he works, Hotch."

"He's from a different time," he says, even though you can hear the agreement in his voice, "but he worked with Gideon, and if you remember, it took you a while to warm up to him too."

You heave out a breath but it's the only concession you're willing to give in this moment.

"He's used to an older way of doing things, but he's a great agent."

"He clearly has good ideas," you whisper, "but I just worry that you'll have to work over time to keep him under control."

Hotch ponders this, and you think that maybe he knows you're right. Your eyes shift up and you realize his hair has been shorter for a while now, but you're still not used to seeing so much of his forehead. Not that there's anything wrong with his forehead. It's a fine forehead.

"He was the team leader before he retired," Hotch says suddenly. "He may be tough as a subordinate now, but I'm still glad he's back. We needed someone to fill Gideon's spot, we were low on hands."

"Speaking of, why do you think he's back."

He looks at you with a quizzical frown. "Is it really so hard to believe that he may just want to help us out?"

You think for a second, before shrugging. He laughs.

"I don't know," you concede, with a small chuckle. "I think I'm just expecting things from him that aren't fair."

He turns his body to face you. "Like what?"

You press your lips together, trying to formulate your words properly, so you can clearly articulate the tornado of thoughts in your brain. "I know Gideon wasn't a father figure exactly, but he was someone that Reid and Elle latched onto."

Hotch exhales. "I don't know if Gideon is someone I'd want as a father."

You let out a surprised laugh. "Fair enough."

"How is your father doing, by the way?"

You blink in surprise. It's not that he doesn't talk about your family, it's just that the timing is uncanny. You haven't spoken to him in months. After your mom died, you two were almost inseparable, but then you left for school, and you realized how much bigger the world could be when you weren't always bogged down by your grief. "I haven't called him in a while."

"What did he say after Golconda?" he asks, his voice gentle. After Frank, he means.

You close your eyes, guilt flooding your body. "I never told him."

"What?" You don't look at him, but you can see the shock in the stiff line of his posture. "Did something happen between you two?"

You shake your head, your protectiveness over your family flaring up at the concern in his eyes. "Nothing happened. I just didn't want to worry him."

"That's his job," Hotch stresses, scooting his leg over so his knee bumps yours. "If something like that had happened to Jack, I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

"That's what I'm scared of," you tell him, your eyes flitting over to the window, where the clouds are dancing across the horizon. Sometimes, when you're on the jet, you like to pretend that the time up here isn't real. That as long as the world looks like a series of splotches and blinking lights, nothing can really hurt you. "My mom's death nearly killed him. I learned to cook when I was ten, because he couldn't leave his room for a month." Hotch knows all of this already, but he lets you vocalize your thoughts, obviously knowing how badly you need reassurance for the guilt you're feeling. "Then, when Jeff died, I stayed with him for a few weeks to have some company, but...but.. I was so glad when I left, because then I could finally let myself fall apart."

He reaches under the armrest and clasps your hand in his, extending the comfort you didn't know you needed.

"I've never told anyone that," you whisper, feeling your voice tighten with tears. "I love my dad, I love him so much, but I just needed the chance to recover on my own."

"He loves you too," Hotch says, finally breaking his silence. "You know he loves you. I still remember the themed sandwich baggies that he packed your lunch with all through middle school."

You choke out a laugh. "You would always steal the Spiderman ones."

He smiles, squeezing your hand once. "Maybe you just need to give him another chance to be who you want him to be. He might just surprise you."

You know he's right. Somehow, he's always right.

You nod, flashing him a small smile, and lean your head on his shoulder as the clouds float past your window.

***

He glances at his watch for the tenth time since he sat down in his office. The plane landed just over an hour ago, and he sent you home immediately with the instruction to get some rest. He probably should have gone home too, but ever since he got his new apartment, home hasn't felt the same.

He used to be able to look around any corner and see a memory: the couch where he and Haley made love on their first night at home, the soft carpet where Jack took his first steps, the doorframe where he measured his height on his first birthday as Haley held him up by the arms. He also remembers that he wasn't there to see Jack's first steps; he was in Pittsburgh, working a case and thanking his lucky stars that Haley had had the foresight to take a photo as his son stood upright all by himself.

He lifts the picture frame from the edge of his desk, running his fingers over the cool glass and looking at the blue drawing underneath. Jack had drawn his favorite cartoon character and left it for him on the kitchen table, a few nights before his suspension went into effect.

Putting it back down, he looks at the photograph of him holding onto Haley as she clutches newborn Jack to her chest in the hospital. He still has the photo of just him and her on their wedding, but he pushed it to the back, behind the pictures of Jack, and the one of you and him at law school graduation.

A knock sounds at his door and he looks up to see Dave standing in his doorway. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," he says, waving him in. He doesn't sit down, so Hotch stands up too, unsure of how he feels about the power imbalance in the room. "What can I do for you?"

"You said out there, 'The team shares everything.'"

He nods. "That's right."

"There is no 'I'?"

He nods again, not liking where this may be going.

Dave glances down at his desk, where his phone sits next to the picture frame of his family. "Seems a big thing to withhold. Separating from your wife, your child."

He freezes, unconsciously looking at the door to see if anyone heard. "What are you talking about?"

"You used to call Haley 10 times a day," Dave says, his voice not unkind. "We've been together 48 hours and I haven't seen you call her once. You haven't mentioned her, and you're not going home now."

He frowns, feeling his brow settle into place like it's a uniform he wears whenever he's at the office. "What's your point?"

"I guess you're just not used to sharing."

He doesn't say anything, but Rossi seems to interpret this the wrong way. "Or maybe it's something else." He looks out the window at the empty bullpen, but the implication is still clear. "Was it because of...?"

"What?" He doesn't know where this is coming from, but he can't stop the anger that rumbles through him at the connotation. Unable to help it, he looks down at your desk, and Dave tuts.

"I won't say anything."

"Dave," he shakes his head, trying to remain calm. "You have it all wrong. She's my best friend...since we were children. It isn't like that. It was never-"

It was never like that. That's what he's about to say, but that wouldn't be true. Rossi is a good enough profiler that he would be able to spot a lie from a mile away, so he shuts his mouth and shakes his head again. "It's not like that."

"Okay," he accepts, lifting his hands in surrender. "My mistake."

Hotch nods, and Dave leaves his office, but he can't get their conversation out of his head until later that night when his head hits his pillow and his eyes finally fall shut.

***

"Hey, Dad."

You called him when you got home from work that night, and he answered on the second ring. "Hi, sweetheart."

"How are you?" you ask, clutching the phone to your ear as you sink down onto the couch in your living room.

He doesn't answer for a moment, and you can hear him taking a breath. "I'm good, Y/N, how are you? Is work going well?"

"It's good," you tell him. "Really good. We were able to save a woman today, before the unsub could kill her."

"Unsub?"

"Unknown subject," you explain, quickly realizing just how long it's been since you've spoken to him. "It's what we call the bad guy before we know who he is."

"Right," he says, and you can practically see him rubbing a hand over his face, his nervous tic. "I knew that. Anyway, how is everything in your life? Do you still work with Aaron?"

"Yeah, I do," you say with a laugh. "He was actually asking about you earlier today."

"That's nice of him," your dad says, his voice brightening slightly. "He was always a good friend to you."

You tell him about your most recent case, and about Gideon and Elle leaving the team, but eventually you can't evade the topic you've been trying to avoid all night.

You're okay, you think to yourself. Frank can't hurt you anymore.

"Dad," you whisper, closing your eyes as you take a deep breath. In 1, 2, 3. Out 1, 2, 3. "I have something to tell you."

Then you tell him everything, and he just listens, exactly like you hoped he would.

***

"I met this guy." You didn't even see Penelope approach you, but here she is, looking at you like she's about to say something dirty.

"Hell yeah," you grin, trying to match her energy. "Where?"

"A coffee shop," she smirks. "He was having trouble with his computer, so I fixed it for him, and then he asked for my number."

"Look at you," you joke, giving her a side squeeze, "putting your technical analyst skills to good use."

"Thank you," she huffs, throwing an annoyed glance over her shoulder. "That's more of the response I was looking for."

"What do you mean?"

"Derek," she says simply, and you nod, already knowing where she's going with this. You know they have an uncommon relationship, so you're not surprised that he didn't react exactly how she hoped he would.

"He's an idiot," you tell her, patting her arm.

She laughs. "You don't even know what he did."

"Uh, yeah," you say, turning around to face the bullpen, "I definitely do."

***

The case takes the team to Florida, where an unsub has been feeding women their fingers, killing them, and then carving pentagrams in their skin.

The pentagrams suggest a religious element, so you go with JJ, Morgan, and Rossi to the local church to meet with the priest.

"Rossi, do me a favor," Morgan says just before you walk inside. "You talk to the priest, all right?"

You remember his agitation on the jet when Reid prodded him about his beliefs, and given the cruelty of his childhood, a crisis of faith wouldn't surprise you.

"Hi, Father Marks," JJ greets the priest when you enter the church. She introduces all of you to him, before shaking his hand. "We're sorry we have to be here under these circumstances."

"It's good of you to come," he says, greeting all of you. "Abbey's parents are upstairs in my office."

"We'll go up," Rossi says with a nod, "but Agent Morgan actually has some questions for you."

Your eyes flash to Rossi, but he doesn't return your gaze.

"I have some questions too," you offer, and Derek nods gratefully.

The priest answers the few questions Derek spits out at him, and you watch as his eyes wander around the hall, his shoulders raised with tension. You insert a few of your own questions before heading outside with him to wait for JJ and Rossi to finish up with the victim's parents.

"What happened in there?" you ask when he doesn't meet your eye. "Being rude to Father Marks? That wasn't like you."

"You know what happened to me, L/N," he says angrily, kicking his foot out at a loose stone on the pavement. "I went to church everyday, and I prayed for it to stop, but you know what God did? Nothing."

"I know what a crisis of faith looks like, Derek." You stand in front of him, forcing him to look at you. "But Father Marks doesn't know your story. He's not judging you, he's just showing his faith how he knows best."

His shoulders are still tense as his jaw twitches. "Who does Rossi think he is, throwing me under the bus like that?"

"He's an instigator," you shrug, letting the topic slide for the time being. You'll talk to him again later if he still needs it.

"I didn't love the way Gideon did things either," Derek says, his posture going from agitation to annoyance, "but Rossi might just take the cake. Even if he is better with the victim's families."

"I can't help you there," you almost laugh. "I had the same conversation with Hotch after the case in Texas, and he managed to convince me to give the guy a chance. So...if you can't bring yourself to trust him, just think of it as putting your trust in Hotch."

Derek hums, bumping your shoulder with his. "I guess I can do that."

***

The search party for Tracey Lambert only leads to the unsub taking another woman, and suddenly the ticking clock gets a lot louder. By the time you find his lair and the bodies he has been cannibalizing for years, you're already struggling to keep down even the water you've been drinking. When he reveals where Tracey actually is, you feel so sick, you can't breathe.

When the jet lands back in Virginia, you go home immediately, desperately needing some peace and quiet away from the team for the first time in a while. But that doesn't last long.

You're awoken by the shrill ringing of your home phone. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you check the number and answer the phone. "Is this payback for the last time I called you past midnight?"

"Y/N...it's Garcia."

You shoot up into a sitting position as Hotch explains what happened. "How bad is it?"

"I don't know."

"I'm on my way."

You change into a sweater and a pair of loose jeans before grabbing your keys and flying out the door.

"She's in surgery," JJ tells you when you find them in the waiting room. She pulls you into a hug before returning to her hunched position in an uncomfortable vinyl chair.

"There's no other word," Hotch adds, giving you a quick hug as well. With his cheek pressed against your temple, he whispers, "Police think it may have been a botched robbery."

"Where's Morgan?" Emily asks, standing up from her chair.

"He's not answering his cell."

Reid nods, stepping away. "I'll call him again."

He squeezes your hand before he exits the waiting area, and you glance down at JJ again. Her eyes are red from crying, and her chin is pressed into her palm as she stares at the floor. You watch as Emily sits next to her and pats her hand, before clasping it in hers.

You don't realize you've been staring at the same spot on the floor until Hotch stands next to you and nudges your shoulder. You okay?

"I will be," you say out loud, barely registering that he didn't actually ask you anything. "As soon as she's out of surgery." When you got the call that Penelope was shot, you had been hit by an intense feeling of deja vu. Only this time, the call didn't come from bureau leadership, because she wasn't killed at the scene. Because she's going to make it.

He doesn't seem fazed as he checks his watch again, his frown lines deepening. "It shouldn't take this long to get an update."

"Where have you been?" Reid asks suddenly. You look up to see Derek walking into the waiting room, his eyes wide with panic.

"I was in church. My phone was off."

"There's nothing you could have been doing here," Rossi assures him, before nodding at Hotch and pulling him aside to discuss something with the deputies outside. You use the momentary lull to approach Derek, putting your hand on his arm as an initial test. When he doesn't jerk back, you pull him into a hug that he returns gratefully.

The doctor walks in a few minutes later and explains that Penelope will be fine, but she needs to rest until the morning.

"David and I will go to the scene," Hotch informs, his eyes fixing each of you with an empathetic look. "I think the rest of you should be here when she wakes up. I don't care about protocol. I don't care whether we're working this officially, or not. We don't touch any new cases until we find out who did this."

When they leave, you pull Derek down into the chair next to you and lean your head onto his shoulder. After a beat, he relaxes in his seat, and lets out a long sigh. "She's okay."

***

Early the next morning, the doctor shakes you all awake with the notice that Penelope's up, so you rush into her room, trying not to crowd her as she blinks awake.

"Hi," she says softly, her voice small. She looks so innocent, laying in her hospital bed with her blonde hair a halo around her head. You can't imagine how anyone would want to hurt someone like her.

"No tears," she smiles as you swallow down your anger. "I'm afraid if I start crying, I'll come unstapled."

JJ presses a kiss to her cheek, before Derek and Emily start gently plying her with the usual questions. When it comes out that the man who shot her was the same man who asked her out at the coffee shop, your anger turns to anguish, and you reach forward to squeeze Penelope's hand in an effort to comfort her.

"I just thought he liked me," she whispers, the pain in her voice breaking your heart.

"We need a name," Emily asks abruptly. You can see her mentally kicking herself at how serious her words came out, but you know Penelope understands the gravity of this situation.

"James Colby Baylor."

She asks you and JJ to stay back for a second as the rest of the team leaves to investigate Baylor.

"What's up, honey?" you ask, smiling at her sweetly as she uses her other hand to take JJ's.

"I feel so stupid," she sighs, her breath turning into a gasp as tears fill her eyes. "Maybe Derek was right about all of it."

"No," JJ says sternly, reaching forward to brush some of her hair behind her ear. "None of this is on you."

"What she said," you echo, nodding at JJ, "and don't listen to Morgan. He loves you, and he's very protective over you, but he's also a man."

She sniffles out a laugh, before pressing her lips together. "One last thing."

JJ blinks. "Anything."

"Please don't talk about me like I'm a victim."

***

The case wraps up back at the office, where Baylor, whose real name is Deputy Battle, was shot in the head by JJ, who doesn't seem as plussed by the situation as you would expect. You tried to talk to her afterwards, but after telling you she was fine, she put all of her attention on Penelope, who has spent the last week recovering at home.

Now, you're sitting in the break room stirring your black coffee, just for something to do. Hotch finds you in there and walks inside, shutting the door behind him.

"It's been a long week," he grumbles, looking longingly at the spot next to you on the worn couch.

You lift your cup and nod your head at the full coffee pot. "That's what caffeine's for."

"We really should sleep at some point," he says, filling up a paper cup and carefully dropping into the spot beside you. The couch you chose is small enough that his thigh presses against yours when he spreads his legs even the slightest bit.

You snort. "Sleep's overrated."

You both sip your steaming coffees in silence as you watch the other agents shuffle back and forth across the bullpen, unaware of your watchful eyes. The break room is the one place in the office to go for a little bit of privacy, but the unobstructed view of everyone's desks isn't unpleasant either. You imagine this is how Hotch feels when he looks out his office window.

Your eye catches on the stapled wood planks that are currently replacing the broken glass door that leads into the bullpen. He must be looking at the same thing, because he breaks the silence and says, "I think we may need to get JJ out into the field more."

His tone catches you off guard and you crack a small smile. "She does seem remarkably well-adjusted, given that it was her first time."

He nods, turning his head to look at you. "Do you remember your first time?" Killing someone, is the part he doesn't say out loud.

"Of course." You take a deep breath and gulp back more coffee. "He was a serial rapist in Texas. One shot to the heart. I wasn't trying to kill him, he just ran at the last second."

"Serial killer in Florida," he responds simply. "Headshot. He died instantly."

"That was your first year at the BAU, right?" He nods and you sink back into the cushions. "I wasn't even in the field then."

He hums, a low sound that you feel as vibrations on your skin. "I worry that I brought you in here too early. Jeff had just died, and I assumed that getting you out of the house and in the field would take your mind off of things, but I wonder sometimes if I made the wrong call."

"You didn't," you assure him, turning your body to face his, even as he doesn't meet your eye. "First of all, you brought me in six months after he died, and by then, I definitely needed an excuse to leave my bedroom."

He sighs, a small concession, and you continue. "The first case I went into the field for after he died, I could barely hold my gun. Every time I pulled it on someone, I would imagine his body...with all of those bullet holes...and I would just freeze up. It took me months to pass my firearm certification again, but I still don't regret it."

"You sure?" he asks, his voice almost timid.

"Positive," you smile, nudging your thigh against his. "Besides, I didn't realize it until later, but it wasn't getting out into the field that helped me through my grief...it was meeting the team. These people became my family in the moment that I needed one most."

You turn back to your coffee and sip it again, though it's no longer as hot as you'd like it to be.

"How are you doing, by the way?" he asks suddenly. "With Garcia, I mean."

An involuntary shudder runs through you as you remember her pale face in her hospital bed last week, but the warmth of the coffee cup in your hands makes it pass quickly. "I'll never get used to it. But she's okay now, so hopefully it'll be easier this time."

***

You're jotting down notes in the margins of a new case file JJ asked you to look over when your cell phone rings. Hotch and Reid are at a nearby prison, interviewing a serial killer on death row for the Criminal Personality Research Project, so you're not expecting a call from either of them. The rest of the team, except for Rossi, is scattered around the bullpen, but you don't expect him to call you either.

After finishing the line you were writing, you check your phone and see a name you haven't spoken to in weeks.

"Haley," you answer after clicking open your cell. "Is everything okay?"

"I know you're busy," she sighs, her voice tight with what you can only decipher as irritation, "but I didn't know who else to call. Aaron hasn't been answering my phone calls."

You get up from your desk and step out into the hallway to get some privacy. "He and Dr. Reid are at a prison right now, interviewing a criminal for this research project. There likely isn't any cell service out there."

"It's not just today, Y/N," she says, her tone getting colder as she inadvertently directs her anger towards the only person she can get ahold of. "He hasn't been taking my calls for days."

"I can talk to him," you suggest, trying to keep your tone light in an effort to keep this conversation from derailing. "I'll tell him to give you a call."

"I appreciate that," she sighs, losing her steam. "I'm sorry for involving you, I just really need to speak with him about something."

"Is everything alright with you and Jack?" you ask her quickly, wanting to make sure that you aren't making the wrong assumptions about why she's calling.

"Oh!" she inhales sharply. "Yes, of course, we're doing great. Well, great maybe isn't the right word, I didn't mean- I just-" She sighs. "You know what I mean."

"I do," you assure her as your heart twists at the sound of her shallow breathing. You know how hard the separation has been on Hotch, but you know Haley too, and she has always been better at hiding her pain that she seems. "Where have you been staying?"

"With Jess," she says, her voice brightening considerably at the mention of her sister. "She's been a godsend. I feel terrible taking up so much of her space, but she doesn't seem to mind."

You smile, remembering the few times you met Jessica Brooks while Haley and Hotch were together. "She definitely doesn't mind. She always loved children. I bet she's already scheming on how to steal Jack from you."

Haley laughs, and the sound is like wind chimes twinkling in your ear. "She totally is."

Her laughter slowly fades, and you both stay on the line for a few moments in comfortable silence.

"I'll tell him to call you," you promise.

"I know," she sighs. "Thank you."

***

The prison was a bust, but Reid got a chance to use his intelligence to get them out of a tough spot without anyone getting hurt, so the day wasn't a total loss.

He is sitting in his office, drafting an email to the project coordinator, when you walk inside and take a seat in front of his desk.

"Thanks for knocking," he says sarcastically before finishing up the sentence he was working on. Once it's done, he saves the draft and turns off his computer. "How was Indianapolis?"

"Good," you say, leaning back in the chair. "Great, actually. Rossi got to close up the case that's been haunting him for a decade, and the three kids are finally safe."

"I'm surprised he wasn't more excited when he got back," he notes, watching your body language. You look wired, but not about this. Something else is bothering you.

"The unsub wasn't exactly the most gratifying arrest," you sigh, rubbing a hand over your temple. "We don't even think he committed the murders intentionally."

He frowns, shaking his head. "Those are the worst kind."

You're silent for a moment before you sit up straighter and look at him. "Haley called me this morning. While you were at the prison."

"Oh?" Something that feels like ice slithers down his spine even though he can probably guess exactly how the conversation went.

All week, he has felt an enormous weight on his chest in the form of a stack of divorce papers that Haley served him with. She had called him right after, with the explanation that they both should have seen this coming, but he really hadn't. He was a profiler, whose entire job was to notice and analyze human behavior, and he truly hadn't been able to let himself believe that this could be a possibility. That his marriage could actually be over.

"She said you've been ignoring her calls."

He had been ignoring them. He knew she would just tell him to sign the papers, and he couldn't bear to hear her say it again. Once was enough.

He reaches into his desk and pulls out the manila folder that he hasn't opened since his initial read-through. He suspects you already know what he's about to tell you, but he also knows that it won't feel real until he says it out loud. And it's about time he came to terms with what his life would be from now on. "Haley wants me to sign the divorce papers, uncontested."

"She doesn't want to involve a lawyer?" you ask, your voice delicate as you walk him through the explanation with clarifying questions. It's the technique they use when interviewing the families of victims, to help them feel comfortable as they talk about the hardest thing they've ever gone through. He's surprised at how reassuring it feels coming from you.

He shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair. It has grown out a bit since he last cut it, but he doesn't think he minds. Haley wanted him to cut it short when Jack was in his grabbing and teething phase, but now, he likes how he can push it back when he wants. "I don't want to sign, of course, but she's adamant that we get this done soon."

"You'll be okay," you say, and he looks up in surprise. "You're a good man, Aaron."

"I'm not," he whispers, heaving out a sigh. "I'm not doing anything right. At home, I was an awful husband and an absent father, and at work, Strauss would replace me if she had even the slightest bit more ammunition. I can't focus in either place. Maybe Haley's right, maybe I'm just selfish."

You lean forward and grab his hand, even as he doesn't look at you. "You're not selfish. You're the farthest thing from selfish. You don't want to sign, but you will. You're giving her what she wants, even though it's the last thing you want."

He nods, but his heart isn't in it. He glances down at the folder again and takes a deep breath as you give him a small smile and stand up.

"I'll see you tomorrow, boss?"

He nods again. "See you tomorrow."

When the door shuts behind you, he flips open the folder, faster than he meant to, but he's afraid if he doesn't do this quickly he'll lose his nerve. Grabbing a random pen from the mug on his desk, he uncaps it and scrawls out his initials on all of the earmarked lines throughout the stack.

When he finishes the last page, he shuts the folder and leans back in his chair, letting out a long exhale. He did it. He supposes he should feel some sort of severing away of his old life, maybe an audible snap as the ties to his marriage get cut, but there's just silence.

His office suddenly feels stifling, and he loosens his tie before reaching forward and lifting the picture frame with him and Haley on their wedding day. Her smile still looks beautiful to him, and his content expression as he gazes at her doesn't make him feel anything different. Their marriage may be over, but he still loved her.

He runs his thumb over the smooth edge of the frame, and then opens his desk drawer, before sticking it inside and pushing it closed.

***

"Thank you for watching him," Hotch says, his voice slightly muffled over the phone.

"Of course," you smile, sitting down on your couch with the pasta you made for dinner. "It was my pleasure. Jack's a total sweetheart."

Jess was out of town for a couple of days, so he had asked you to watch Jack while he and Haley met up to finalize the divorce in front of an attorney. She had been adamant about finishing the process over the phone, but he wanted to ensure that she and Jack would be taken care of after the papers went through.

"Did he eat lunch?"

"Kind of," you say, quickly swallowing the bite you took. "He didn't want a full meal, but I got him to eat some fruit and bread with cheese."

"I'll make him a snack soon," he says quietly, but you can tell he's just thinking out loud. "Alright, I'll see you at the office. Thanks again."

"Always," you tell him, genuinely. "See you."

The phone clicks off and you scarf down the rest of your pasta before doing your dirty dishes and cleaning up your kitchen. You're considering whether to change into your workout clothes so you can crank out a few miles on your Peloton, but then you hear a knock on your door.

You're not expecting anyone, and with Hotch watching Jack, it can't be him. You peek around the corner into your foyer to see who's at the door, and relax when you spot a familiar mop of brown hair.

"I'm sorry I didn't call first," Spencer says when you open the door, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of his book bag. "I just didn't know how to ask you this over the phone."

"Spence, what is it?" you ask, opening the door further to let him in. He doesn't step forward, and a pinprick of anxiety enters your system.

"If I come inside, I won't be able to do this," he says vaguely, before reaching into his bag and pulling out a flyer. He hands it to you and you read the title, the tension seeping from your body as the words sink in: Narcotics Anonymous for Law Enforcement.

"I know it's a lot to ask," he whispers, "but would you drive me to the meeting tonight?"

Your heart feels like it's about to crack open. Only a boy who was never looked after, never given the love and care he deserved, would think that something like this was too much to ask.

"It's not too much," you tell him, glancing down at the address. "I'll get my keys."

When he's settled in your passenger seat, you pull out of the driveway, not commenting on the fact that his car is parked on the street beside your sidewalk. You understand the need for company more than most people.

The drive to the rec center where the meeting is being held is mostly silent, but you don't press him. He stares down at his hands for most of the ride, and when you stop in front of the entrance, he unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to you. "Thank you."

"Of course," you smile. "I can wait, if you'd like."

He gives you a thin-lipped smile. "It's okay."

"You sure?"

He presses his lips together and looks at you, his eyes reflecting the question in yours.

"Go on," you say, patting his arm. "I'll be here."

He nods and steps out of your car, and you pull into a parking space to wait in while he's in the meeting. You turn on the radio and it's the same song they've been playing for the last week, so you turn the volume down low and close your eyes for a few peaceful moments.

You must have fallen asleep, because you're jarred awake by the chirping sound of your cell phone ringing. It's a bureau number, so you clear your throat and answer the call. "L/N."

"Hey, Y/N." It's JJ, and she sounds tired. "We have a case. It's urgent, so we're flying to Texas tonight."

You sigh louder than you meant to. "I can be there in 20."

"See you soon."

The line clicks off and you rub the sleep from your eyes. A quick check of your watch tells you that you were only asleep for about a half hour, but that's just half of the meeting time. You know Spencer will come back when he gets the call, so you turn the radio off and sit up in your seat.

A few minutes later, he returns to the car. You saw him just over 30 minutes ago, but he already looks lighter than he did when he got to your house.

"I'm proud of you, Spence," you tell him as you start the car.

He nods, a quick thanks. "This federal agent gave me his one year medallion after I left the meeting. I've only been clean for 10 months, but he still gave it to me."

"He believes in you," you say simply, glancing over at his confused expression.

"He doesn't even know me."

You shrug. "You don't have to really know someone to care about them, Spencer. You just have to see something of yourself in them."

"Is that what you see in me?" he asks, finally looking at you.

You consider this for a moment. Is that why you feel so protective over him?

"I don't know," you say eventually, not wanting to lie, even by accident. "I definitely wasn't as smart as you were, or as focused. I wasn't all that driven in high school at all, to be honest. I was lucky to have Hotch. He gave me the push I needed to get out there and focus on school."

He's silent for a minute and you worry you may have said something wrong. Then: "I didn't have anyone in school." He pauses for a beat, before speaking again, his voice quieter this time. "I was in the library one day, and this girl comes up to me, and she tells me that Alexa Isben wants to meet me behind the field house. Alexa Isben was, like...easily the prettiest girl in school."

You frown, already not liking where this story is going. "Did she not show up?"

"No, she was there." His voice sounds almost resigned, but there's a note of something darker underneath. Something raw and painful, that likely still hurts after all these years. "But so was the entire football team. They stripped me naked and tied me to a goal post. So many kids were there, you know, just watching."

"No one stopped them?" you ask, trying to keep your voice steady.

"I begged them to, but they just...they just watched. Then finally they got bored and they left." He clears his throat, and the sound is small, like a little boy's. "It was like midnight when I finally got home. And my mom didn't...Mom was having one of her episodes, so she didn't even realize I was late."

"You never told her what happened?"

He shakes his head. "I never told anybody. I thought it was one of those things that I thought if I didn't talk about it, I'd just forget. But I remember it like it was yesterday."

"You don't need an eidetic memory for that, Spence," you whisper, trying to stay focused on the road even as his words swirl into your memories and create an agonizing hurricane of emotions. "I was only ten years old when my mom was killed, but I can still remember every moment of her funeral."

The field office comes into view and you push forward as you scan your badge and slide into a parking spot below the upper garage. When the car is in park, you undo your seatbelt and turn to him. "I know how hard it can be to push away the painful memories, but there's something more important that I need you to remember."

"Remember what?"

He looks at you then, and you reach forward to squeeze his hand. "You're not alone anymore."

***

"Is it always this hot?" You look up at the beating sun through your shaded sunglasses and fan your face with both of your hands.

"Every day, all day," Emily huffs, running her fingers through her bangs to unstick them from her forehead.

Everyone is sweltering in the Miami heat, but then Derek gets off the plane with a wide grin, his skin glistening in the sun, and you resist the urge to throw your bag at him. "South Beach, baby."

He immediately shuts up when he spots the stunning Miami PD detective who called your team in for the recent string of murders. JJ shoots you a smirk before introducing her to the team. "Detective Lopez. We spoke on the phone."

"Tina," she corrects, before shaking her hand. "Thank you for coming down so quickly."

"Hey," Emily says from beside you, making you turn to see what she's looking at. "Isn't that..."

You spot the person she's referring to, and your face splits into a big smile. "Detective LaMontagne!"

"He's here to ID the cop they pulled from the bay last night," Tina explains.

You don't miss the flush in JJ's cheeks as she shakes his hand. "Detective, good to see you."

"How are you?" you ask, giving him a quick hug that he returns.

"Yeah, Charlie Luvet and I worked together for seven years."

Derek frowns. "Sorry for your loss, man."

Tina looks confused, and you don't blame her. "So, you all know each other?"

"Professionally," JJ is quick to add. Will whips around to look at her, and you turn to Emily with an eyebrow raise, feeling like you're intruding on a private moment. You aren't sure why she won't just admit that they've been together since New Orleans, but that's her business.

***

You join JJ and Will at the IDing of Officer Luvet, and you keep your distance as he glances down at the body and affirms the report.

"Yeah, that's him."

JJ looks like she wants to comfort him, but instead she sticks to the professional approach. "If you need help making arrangements, liaising with families is part of what I do."

Will nods, his voice choking up slightly. "I might just take you up on that. Excuse me, I'll be outside."

When he steps outside of the coroner's office, you can't help but notice the longing look on JJ's face as she watches him go.

"Let's go," she says to you softly, her eyes still on the door. You follow her outside, but by then Will is nowhere to be found.

"It's okay, you know," you blurt out. You weren't really planning on talking to her about this, but sometimes your mouth takes over before your brain can catch up. "I know you worry that being around a band of profilers all the time makes you vulnerable."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," she says simply, not quite meeting your eye.

"JJ," you say seriously, trying to convey your pure intentions. "If you keep trying to hide it, you'll lose him."

She purses her lips, and you squeeze her forearm, hoping you aren't pushing past her boundaries. The whole team is sparing with details about their personal lives, but you like to think that you're someone people feel comfortable sharing things with.

"I know you, hon." You flash her a knowing smile, feeling a shot of satisfaction as her lip twitches. "I know that it's enough for you to know that you care about something, but it's not enough for everyone."

She exhales, tucking her hair behind her ears. "He's upset with me, but I don't know what to do. I'm still scared."

You sigh, understanding her predicament, but still wanting her to push past it. "You can let yourself be happy, JJ. You won't always get hurt."

She nods before glancing around the room again, searching for Will even though he's long gone. It's an instinct you recognize.

Later, when JJ finally acknowledges their relationship by pulling him in for a kiss at the police station, you can't help but take it as a win.

***

Your house feels emptier than usual when you get back from Miami. Seeing JJ and Will find each other again reminded you of how much you miss having someone to share your life with.

Deciding to take a night to yourself, you pop open a bottle of red, and pour yourself a glass, which you swirl around before taking a sip. It's drier than you tend to go for, and when you check the label, you realize that's because you didn't buy it.

How can you drink this stuff?

It makes me feel sophisticated.

Jeff would break out the fancy glassware every chance he got, because he didn't believe in special occasions. He used to say that people waste precious moments of their life waiting for the right occasion to come around.

The memory feels warm in the back of your mind, and you take another sip of wine before walking over to your cupboard and grabbing the fanciest wine glass you can find. You pour the rest of your wine into the new glass and place the other in the sink, before swirling it around again. No time like the present.

You bring the glass to the couch with you, where you turn on the television and skip through the first few channels. As the wine in your glass depletes, the loneliness sets back in. You're about to pour yourself another pity glass when your phone buzzes with a call from Hotch.

"Do your television channels suck as much as mine do?"

You smile, muting the television and pressing the phone to your ear. "Definitely not."

He chuffs. "I guess I'm not used to the new tv controls."

Right, his new apartment. After the papers were finalized, he gave the house to Haley and moved into a new place ten minutes away.

"We can share mine," you say, listening to the sounds of his breath over the receiver. "I also have wine."

That gets a laugh. "I'll be there in 15."

You hear a knock on your door exactly 14 minutes later. When you open it, you're greeted with the sight of Hotch in a tee shirt and jeans. "A little underdressed, aren't we?"

He snorts, taking the wine glasses from your hands and following you into the family room. "What are we watching?"

"You're the one with the broken tv," you grin, flopping down on the couch and taking your glass from him. "What do you want to watch?"

He thinks for a minute, before his eyes sparkle with an idea. You cut him off before he can suggest what you already know he will. "We are not watching Top Gun again, Hotch!"

"You asked," he shrugs, hiding his smile behind a sip of wine. "What do you want to watch, then?"

You can see him watching you over the rim of his glass, so you blurt out the first name that comes to your mind. "Footloose."

He looks at you blankly for a moment, before his brow twitches, and your jaw drops. "You haven't seen Footloose?!"

"It came out when we were in high school," he groans, taking one of the throw pillows off the couch and stuffing it behind his back. "Terminator and Dune came out that same year. I remember because you tried to get me to watch it then too."

"It's an amazing movie!" you exclaim, standing up to go dig through your movie cabinet. "We're watching it right now."

He groans and sinks back into the pillows as you find the DVD and start the movie. You've seen it at least a dozen times, mostly because it makes you nostalgic for your teenage years, but the opening still gets you excited.

As the movie plays, you keep glancing over at Hotch, trying to see if he's enjoying the scenes just as much as you did on your first watch. To his credit, he watches the movie faithfully, without checking his phone or straying from the television screen.

"Enough," he grumbles suddenly, startling you.

"What?" you question, whipping your head around to face the screen.

"I'm watching the movie," he huffs, fixing you with a pointed look. "You don't have to keep checking."

You frown, hugging a pillow to your chest. "I wasn't checking, I just like seeing people's reactions to my favorite movies."

"Either way."

You groan, reaching out to thwack his arm.

"Eyes on the screen," he berates you, pointing at the TV. "The dance scene is starting."

You sip your wine bitterly as you try to resist the urge to glance over at him. Eventually, the movie takes over your attention and soon it's the final town council scene where Kevin Bacon gives a speech to the whole town.

"'There was a time for this law'," you quote along with the movie, "'but not anymore.'"

The movie comes to an end, and you click the remote to turn off the television. When you turn to Hotch with an excited grin, you're surprised to see that he has fallen asleep.

His head has fallen to the side, resting on the armrest, and he looks so peaceful with his expression completely neutral. His characteristic frown is nowhere to be seen as he snores quietly through his nose.

Your lips curve into a smile as you stand up and grab a blanket from a basket beside the couch. You drape it over his body, being careful not to wake him, and take the wine glasses to the sink before heading up for bed.

***

"That's because you pick horses the same way you practice law."

You hold your breath as he glances into the crowd for a brief second.

"...by always taking the long shot."

Emily snickers under her breath, and you see even Reid crack a smile as the lawyer starts floundering. The rest of the day in court goes by quickly and you all wait for Hotch in the hallway of the courthouse as he finishes up inside.

"That was impressive," you grin, nudging his shoulder as he walks alongside you. "I can't believe that was my first time seeing you in full prosecutor mode."

"Hardly," he says, rolling his eyes lightly. "I was called to give testimony, it's very different."

"I'm just surprised that prosecutor is still walking after how hard you hit him." He shoots you a look and you raise your hands in surrender. "Metaphorically, of course."

"That was a straight knock out." Derek comes up behind you and throws an arm around your shoulder as he spins you both to face Hotch. "The crowd practically cheered when you cleaned the floor with him."

"Thank you," he concedes, flashing his eyes at you. "Now let's get back to work. We still have to get more evidence for the rest of the trial."

And just like that, everyone switches back into work mode. Derek drops his arm and jogs forward to catch up to Rossi and Spencer, while Emily calls Garcia to get the latest update.

Using the moment of solitude, you bump his shoulder again. "Do you ever wish you were still a prosecutor? Your life would certainly be a lot simpler."

He shakes his head, the answer coming quickly and firmly. "I couldn't do it then, and I still couldn't now. Seeing the murderers come in after they've finished killing...I needed to know I could stop them before they were done."

His sentiment sounds familiar. Your mind flashes back to the little boy who took matters into his own hands, because no one could stop the pain for him.

You blink and it's present day again. You loved your best friend who fought his own battles without asking for help, and, even though he's vastly different, you love your best friend as he is now.

***

"Five shootings in two weeks."

"It's about time we got the call."

The whole team, plus Garcia, flies up to New York, where an unsub has been shooting people around the city, seemingly at random.

"Kate Joyner heads up the New York field office," Hotch explains, glancing down at his cell phone. "She's running point on the case and called me directly."

You have heard of her, which isn't too surprising, but all you know is that she's British and seems to be very good at her job.

"You know her?" Morgan asks him, echoing your thoughts.

Hotch nods. "We liaised when she was still at Scotland Yard."

They liaised. You don't know what that implies, but you also know that he and Haley didn't take a single break during their relationship after graduating college, so it can't be anything too personal.

JJ and Emily share a look, but you don't engage with them, instead looking back at the case file and trying to focus on any of the words that aren't 'Kate Joyner'.

***

"Kate."

A pretty blonde woman approaches you all with a smile only for Hotch. "Aaron. How have you been?"

He nods. "Well, thank you. This is my team." He introduces each of you to her, but you don't miss how her eyes linger on you when he mentions your name.

"Thanks for being here," she says, before walking you all through the background of the case. Shootings in different precincts, seemingly random, FBI only brought in after the fourth murder.

After explaining the details and introducing you to the local detectives on the case, she pulls Hotch aside for a private word in her office. You turn back to the team, trying not to let your gaze linger on them as they walk away.

The NYPD doesn't seem happy that SSA Joyner has taken over their case, but even though she comes off as a bit brusque, you can tell she cares about catching this unsub just as much as they do.

"What's your partner's problem?" Reid asks Detective Cooper, the only local officer who has made an effort to meet any of you.

"We're glad the FBI was brought in," he explains with a heavy sigh, "but all of a sudden Joyner's taking meetings with the mayor and calling in you all without us knowing anything about it."

You can understand his hesitation, but you also need his cooperation if you're going to get anything done here.

"We're only here to help," Emily tells him as you turn around to find JJ.

"Has Garcia gotten settled in with the New York tech analyst?" you ask once you find her staring at a map of the various boroughs. She doesn't answer immediately, so you nudge her shoulder. "JJ?"

"Huh?" she startles. "Oh, sorry, yeah. She called a few minutes ago, she's all good."

JJ is usually the focused one who brings you back on track, so you're surprised by how distracted she seems. You nod in acknowledgement, scrutinizing her expression for another second, before heading back to the team. Your eyes involuntarily dart over to Kate's office, and you notice how close together she and Hotch are. You're about to avert your eyes when their body language becomes a bit clearer: each time she leans in to say something, he subtly pulls back.

The dynamic of their relationship is suddenly apparent, and you mentally kick yourself for daring to assume the worst when he first mentioned her. You can't say the same for your opinion of her, though. He's still wearing his ring, for God's sake. Based on how little you've heard about her from him (nothing, you mean), you doubt she even knows about the divorce yet.

Derek and JJ head out with the detectives to check out the last crime scene, while you stay back with Emily and Spencer to build the anti-geographical profile. When another victim is shot, you head to the new scene to see if you can build a working profile.

"It's a different borough again," you sigh after getting out of the SUV and joining Hotch, Kate, Derek, and JJ in front of the body. "Prentiss and Reid are back at the office still working the profile from a geographical angle. We're starting to think maybe we should get officers out onto the high-traffic intersections, and maybe even get some of us out there too."

"Uniforms are rounding up witnesses," Kate jumps in, ignoring you. "It doesn't seem like anyone got a clean look."

You see Derek glance at you out of the corner of your eye, but you don't entertain the look. If she has some issue with you that you aren't aware of, you won't give her the satisfaction of letting her get to you. "The unsub's probably gone before anyone even realizes it's happening,"

Hotch nods, turning to face Kate. "Is this what it felt like during the Son of Sam."

She returns his gaze. "First we realized that if the violence was truly random, there was almost no way of stopping it. Seems like these people have figured that out."

You look up, trying to see if there's anything in the vicinity you can use to ID the unsub. Your eyes catch on a security camera outside one of the delis directly behind you. "From the placement of that camera, odds are the only view they're going to get is the back of his head."

She frowns. "Let's not be too quick to decide what we do or don't have."

This time it's both Derek and JJ that glance at you, but you turn to Hotch, who is avoiding meeting your eyes. Kate steps away to speak with the detectives at the scene, so you grab his arm and pull him aside. "What is her problem?"

He exhales, rubbing a hand over his face. "FBI brass has made it clear to her that if she doesn't bring this case home, she's going to be reassigned. And you are at the top of the list to replace her."

"Replace her?" you echo, trying to process what he's saying. "I haven't even been in the BAU that long."

"It's not about field experience," he says, angling his body so that you're separated from the others. "You've been with the bureau longer than I have, and your work speaks for itself. It's not a surprise that they'd want to promote you."

You still can't wrap your head around the fact that you could be leading a unit yourself, or that you may have to leave the team you love, so you focus on what you do know. "I thought the bureau was proud of the fact that they stole her from Scotland Yard."

"I don't know," he shrugs, glancing back at her. "Politics here are different."

***

After finishing up at the crime scene, the whole team heads to the hotel to get some rest for the night. You feel more alert than you usually do after a long day of building a profile, and you adjust your bag strap on your shoulder as you dig around the side pockets for your room key. You don't plan on going to bed for at least a few more hours, and you might as well use the time to work on the case, but you need your key if you're going to get any sleep at all.

When your fingers finally catch on the thin plastic card, you look up to see a familiar face that you've been seeing more often than not, as of late. "Wait, isn't that..."

JJ looks up with a start, and she doesn't look distracted for the first time all day. "Will."

He gets up from the lobby chair he was lounging in and approaches her. "Hey, I took a shot and flew to D.C., but when it didn't work, I figured a train ride to New York was only a few more hours."

"Detective." Hotch reaches out and shakes his hand, before glancing at you with a frown that says, Did you know he was coming?

You shake your head imperceptibly and turn back to Will as he looks longingly at JJ. "Look, I'm sorry for showing up like this. I know you're working, but I can't stand you being on this case and me not being near." He pauses for a beat. "Not with what's going on."

That makes you frown too.

Hotch echoes your thoughts. "Is there a problem?"

JJ takes a deep breath and turns around to face all of you. "I'm pregnant."

Oh my God.

"Oh, my God," Emily exclaims, pulling her into a hug, the first of you to regain her bearings after hearing the news. "JJ, congratulations."

"That's amazing, JJ," you grin, hugging her next.

You don't miss how stiff Hotch is as Will shakes his hand. "I've asked JJ to marry me."

"Will," JJ says tightly, a warning in her voice.

He chuckles. "Well, we're working out some kinks."

"We'll give you both some privacy." Hotch turns away from them, his face falling the moment she can't see him anymore. You know he's hurt that she didn't trust him with this information, but you're surprised by just how downtrodden he seems.

JJ rushes after him. "Hotch-"

"JJ, you could have told me," he says softly, his voice both confused and stung.

She looks down. "I know."

"Because I understand if you need to take some time."

"No," she shakes her head, without a look back. "I want to be here."

"Okay," he nods, not looking at any of you. "7:00 AM."

You try to catch his arm as he walks off, but he either ignores it, or he doesn't feel you reaching for him. You choose to believe it's the latter.

***

You all deliver the working profile to the police officers first thing the next morning. While you're explaining an alternate possibility, Garcia calls with an update that a possible unsub was caught on camera shooting someone on a subway platform at one of the intersections you suggested that your team patrol yesterday.

"We could have had that guy," you say, your voice fuming with anger as you turn to Kate with a glare you haven't used in ages.

She doesn't falter. "Even if we were on that platform, odds are he would have moved onto someone isolated."

"Maybe, but it was worth taking a shot."

She fixes you with a stare. "I had every available man on the street."

"And I suggested to you that you use this team." You can't believe that her decision to ignore your advice yesterday might have just cost someone else their life. You can see the rest of the team looking at you with some blend of concern or indignation on your behalf, but you don't care. You just need Hotch to back you up.

Instead he just looks at you. "L/N, second-guessing doesn't do us any good right now."

You're so angry, you can barely see straight. Emily reaches for your arm, but you shake her off. "Hotch, how are we supposed to look these cops in the eye and tell them that we're actually here to help them, if she won't let us do our job?"

"We're here to present a profile," he says simply, not quite meeting your eye. "That's what we need to do."

You gape at him, your back straightening as you get ready to stand your ground. You don't disagree on things like this often, but when you do, it's usually a civil conversation that gets resolved quickly. You've never felt this angry about his handling of a case before, but then again, he's never not had your back before. "We've got seven bodies, Hotch."

He looks at you then, and you can't discern anything from his expression. It's a blank slate that sends a shiver down your spine. "It's not your place to have this discussion."

"Screw you."

You spin around, shoving away Derek and Emily as they try to talk you down. You stalk past them and out of the field office, where the cool evening air fills your sinuses and clears your head for a moment of silence. You stand on the sidewalk for a few seconds, waiting, and when he doesn't follow you out, you just manage to convince yourself that you're not disappointed, but relieved.

***

You're sitting at the hotel bar when Rossi finally finds you. You only ordered a lemon water, still feeling like you're on the clock, even if there's a good chance Hotch won't let you back into the investigation.

"I know," you huff when he takes a seat beside you. "I was out of line."

"You got too emotionally involved," he says, turning to face you. "I know you and Hotch are friends, but that doesn't mean you get to be unprofessional."

You sigh, your body deflating as all the fight leaves you. "I just felt like he was taking her side. Like he didn't have my back."

"There are no sides here."

You nod. "I know."

"And he does have your back." You look at him then, and he flashes you a small smile. "That man will always have your back. Right now, he's just worried about how Kate is holding up, with the word on the street."

That surprises you. "You know about the promotion?"

He nods. "People talk. But if she were to get fired, it would be because we didn't solve this case."

You frown, lifting your hand in defense. "Rossi, I hope you're not saying you think I want her to fail."

"Of course not," he shakes his head. "I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I lost my head for a second," you acknowledge, taking a sip of water. "I think I just needed a minute."

"And you got it," he says simply. "But right now, I see someone who wants to get back on the job. Or is there another reason why you ordered a glass of water at a bar?"

You set your glass down, letting out a surprised chuckle. "Where is everyone now?"

You both stand up, and he leads you out of the lobby. "Joyner took your advice. We're spreading out across the city."

***

"Emily, what happened?"

You rush forward to where she is standing over the dead body of a young man. Detective Cooper was taken in an ambulance to a nearby hospital after getting shot, and you only just arrived on the scene.

"He was strangely calm," she whispers as Derek and JJ come up behind her. "It's almost like suicide by cop."

"Why?" JJ thinks out loud. "Why would he do that?"

Derek looks at you. "We need to walk back through this profile."

Hundreds of thoughts are swirling through your brain, but based on the look on everyone's faces, you can tell they're thinking the same thing you are: terrorism.

After the crime scene officials arrive, you head over to your SUV to get back to the field office. Derek heads out to brief Homeland Security, and Reid leaves to talk to the Port Authority police, while Hotch and Kate call with the update that they will be going to speak with the mayor's office.

You start your SUV and pull out into the street when a loud explosion goes off a few streets behind you, the plume of smoke and fire large enough that you catch the high end of it in your rearview mirror.

You screech to a stop, just as your phone starts to ring.

TAGLIST: @citrusiove, @sanayikes, @yiiiikesmish, @mdanon027, @alice-w0rld, @beata1108, @bakugocanstompme, @raely-study, @himboelover, @hermionegalathynius, @rousethemouse, @calif0rniadreamin, @tolerateit13, @delusional-13s-blog (message me to be added!)

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latanyalove · 6 months ago

Text

My Dream

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pairing: Monkey D Luffy x Y/N

Content: You remembered the reason why you joined Luffy's crew.

A/n: Part One is Here! Sorry if this is too long! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing this! <3

Taglist: @justmeandmyimagination123, @panj53, @petalpetal, @junkie05, @hayden-maximoff, @animadi888, @justlizz444, @bluebreadenthusiast, @tojisloft, @brokenangstyheart @viannasthings @squishypachi @omayrac @littleshrimpp @megakrut777 @yoongislatinagff

In the depths of your slumber, you were awakened by a peculiar odor that permeated the air. The pungent scent, a mix of decay and exhaust fumes, seemed to engulf your senses as you slowly opened your eyes.

Confused and disoriented, you realized that you were lying in your own bed, yet something felt amiss. The realization that the smell was not a dream but rather a reality sent a shiver down your spine.

As you gazed around, the familiarity of your surroundings slowly dawned on you. The walls adorned with familiar artwork, the dresser that held your personal belongings, and the soft glow of the alarm clock on your nightstand all seemed to indicate that you were indeed in your bedroom.

However, the unsettling presence of the pollution-induced scent remained a constant reminder of the unsettling reality that awaited you outside.

"What's that smell?" you wondered, realizing that this was not the first time you had encountered this odor.

As you pushed yourself out of bed and made your way towards the door, a feeling of trepidation washed over you. With each step, the scent grew stronger, confirming that it was not just a figment of your imagination.

The ship, once bustling with activity and filled with the lively chatter of fellow crewmates, was now eerily silent and devoid of any signs of life. The absence of footsteps and the absence of human voices only added to the sense of foreboding that had been building within you.

It was as if a ghostly presence had swept through, leaving behind only the haunting scent of decay and emptiness.

You hesitantly turned the doorknob, and as the door swung open, your eyes were met with a shocking sight.

In front of you was an island full of smoke, pollution, and death. The once vibrant landscape now lay in ruins, with barren trees and toxic air. The sky was an ominous shade of gray, obscured by a thick layer of smog that choked the life out of everything it touched.

It was also the same country that destroyed yours, leaving a trail of devastation and irreversible damage to the environment.

As you took in the apocalyptic scene before you, you couldn't help but wonder what the crew were thinking, bringing you to this desolate wasteland.

"Hello again, Y/N," a voice said beside you, but before you could see who it was, you felt your consciousness slip away.

As your vision faded, you couldn't help but feel a mix of confusion and fear. The voice that spoke to you was unmistakably familiar, but it belonged to someone who shouldn't have been there - someone who had been pronounced dead years ago. . . .

"Hey guys! Do you think Y/N is still sleeping?" Luffy questioned, remembering the sleepy face you had before you passed out on your bed.

"Knowing her, she probably woke up as soon as we left," Nami chipped in, letting out a silent sigh.

"What do you mean by that?"

Nami said, concern evident in her voice. "She's been sneaking out at night these days. I don't know where she goes or what she does, but it's been happening for a while now."

"I don't know, but it's definitely strange," Luffy replied, his brow furrowing with worry.

After what felt like hours, they made it back to the ship, exhausted and disheartened by the sight of the desolate wasteland they had encountered.

Luffy ran straight to your room, hoping to find you there and put his worries to rest. However, as he opened the door, he was met with an empty room, devoid of any signs of you. The realization hit him like a punch to the gut, and a sinking feeling of dread washed over him.

"Guys, have you seen Y/N?" Luffy yelled to anyone in particular, his voice filled with urgency and concern.

"No," he heard Nami say from the upper deck. "I haven't seen her since we left the island. I thought she was still sleeping in her room."

"Luffy! Luffy!" Chopper yelled as he ran towards Luffy from his doctor's room. "I found something strange in my room. It looks like a note."

He took the paper and read it, his eyes scanning the words hastily. The note revealed a cryptic message, written in your handwriting, that sent shivers down his spine. It read, "Don't follow me.'"

Luffy's heart sank as he read the note. He placed his straw hat on his head, the weight of worry settling upon him. Without a moment's hesitation, he declared, "I'm going after her."

"Wait Luffy, you can't go alone," Nami said, leaning against the railing. "We have no idea what you might be walking into. Let's gather the crew and come up with a plan together."

"No, this is for me to do alone. I promised her that I would protect her and now this happened," Luffy said, his voice filled with determination. "I won't let her face whatever danger she's in on her own. I'll find her and bring her back safely, no matter what."

Nami sighed, "At least take this," Nami threw a paper which looked ripped, it was a Vivre card, a special type of paper that can lead someone to a specific person.

"It's Y/N's Vivre card. It'll guide you to her no matter where she is. Just promise me you'll be careful, Luffy."

"How do you have it?"

"I may have been cautious about her at first but she's grown on me, she reminds me of me when I was younger," Nami said, "Just bring her back," she added.

Luffy took it with a determined expression, his mind set on finding you and ensuring your safety. "I will, Nami. I promise," he replied, his voice filled with unwavering resolve.

With a burst of energy, Luffy leaped off the ship and dashed into the dense forest, his rubbery limbs propelling him forward. The leaves rustled under his feet as he followed the pull of the Vivre card, his determination fueling his every step.

Nothing would stop him from finding you and bringing you back safely; he would traverse any obstacle in his path to fulfill his promise. . . .

"Wake up little girl!" A voice shouted.

You jolted awake, gasping for air as the cold water soaked through your clothes. Blinking away the disorientation, you found yourself surrounded by darkness. Panicking, you realized that you were trapped in a small, damp cell with no way out.

Fear gripped your heart as you wondered who had brought you here and what they wanted from you.

Laughter filled the room, echoing off the cold stone walls, sending shivers down your spine. The sound was chilling and sinister, making your heart race with terror as you desperately tried to make sense of your situation.

"Looks like the little girl is awake," a male voice said, his tone dripping with malicious glee.

You then felt your chin being grabbed and pulled, forcing you to look up into the eyes of a sinister figure. The dim light revealed a twisted smile on his face, revealing his sadistic intentions.

The thing that terrified you the most was that the man was missing an eye, but not like Zoro's. Half of his face was ruined, scarred and disfigured, giving him a grotesque appearance that sent shivers down your spine.

It was clear that this man was capable of unspeakable horrors, and you couldn't help but fear for your life in his presence.

"We know where you're from," he started, his voice rough and menacing as he moved his hand around your face, tracing the features he described. "Bluish-dark curly hair, mole beside right ear, and sun-kissed skin," he continued, a sinister smile playing on his lips.

"We destroyed your country around 2 weeks ago, thinking we killed everyone, then we got intel that one survived," he whispered, his voice filled with sadistic pleasure. "And now, my dear, we found you. Don't worry, we have big plans for you. You will pay for not dying with the others."

As the man's cruel words sank in, tears started to fall without your command. Each tear was a testament to the fear and anguish that filled your heart. You tried to suppress your sobs, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing your vulnerability.

But the tears continued to flow, a silent protest against the injustice of your situation.

Once again, your tears betrayed you, refusing to be controlled. They continued to flow, silently defying your will as they bore witness to the overwhelming despair that consumed you in this moment of unimaginable terror.

It reminded you of when you were with Luffy yesterday.

Luffy. You're sorry I was only able to leave a small note but you hoped he would listen to you and leave you here. They are nothing to what you have defeated.

The laughter continued, "Do you see that! She's crying! Good, Good! You should be terrified of us!"

As the man revealed your tears, another ice bucket was poured on top of you, sending a shock of coldness through your body. The chilling sensation only intensified your fear and made it harder to control your trembling.

You desperately searched for an escape route, but the sinister figure's grip on your chin tightened, leaving you feeling trapped and helpless in the face of the horrors that awaited you.

"How does that feel little girl? Wouldn't it feel better if you had died that day instead of living through this?" He taunted.

"Because of you, I got this so if you think that because Boss said to be gentle with you, don't think I'm going to take this easy," He said, pointing at his face.

"Hey! Boss is coming soon!" A voice yelled from behind the voice, the tone made him sound like he was terrified.

Startled, the man let go of your chin, letting it drop down, and reached for a towel as if you were a disease.

"I'm not finished with you just yet," The man said, smirking.

As the man finished his tormenting words, he turned and left with the rest of the guards, leaving you alone in the cold, damp room. The sound of their fading footsteps echoed in the silence, leaving behind an eerie sense of abandonment and the chilling realization that you were truly alone in this nightmare.

You struggled against your restraints, pulling at the ropes until they cut into your flesh. Your body ached, your mind raced with desperate thoughts of escape, but no matter how hard you fought, the bonds held strong.

It was a cruel reminder of the powerlessness you felt, a stark realization that there was no way out of this nightmare. Your heart sank, and tears welled up in your eyes once more, as the weight of your helplessness settled upon you.

Just as despair threatened to consume you, you heard the sound of footsteps growing louder, echoing through the empty corridor.

You heard thuds once in a while, but you dismissed them as servants bowing on their knees to the boss.

Luffy. I'm sorry that I was defeated this easily. I'm not worthy to be part of the future King of the Pirates crew if I'm like this. It wasn't you that I was destined for after all.

"Y/N! There you are!"

The familiar voice made you look up with your remaining strength, and through blurry eyes, you saw your closest friend, Luffy, standing at the entrance of the room.

But you must have been hallucinating, for there was no possible way that Luffy could have found you in this secret, heavily guarded location. The harsh reality sunk in, and you realized that your mind had conjured up an illusion of hope in the midst of your despair.

It was then that warm hands touched your cheeks and you flinched, afraid that they were going to hurt you.

"Y/N, open your eyes."

With trembling hands, you listened to Luffy's voice and slowly opened your eyes, meeting his gaze.

A wave of warmth enveloped you, spreading from your cheeks to the rest of your body. It felt like a gentle embrace, melting away the coldness and fear that had consumed you.

In that moment, you realized that Luffy's presence had a calming effect on you like no one else. His infectious energy and unwavering determination had always managed to lift your spirits and dissolve any worries or anxieties that plagued your mind.

Then and now.

"L-Luffy," you whispered with a hoarse voice, tears welling up in your eyes.

You couldn't find the words to express how grateful you were to have him by your side, but the look in his eyes told you that he understood everything without you having to say a single word.

Luffy smiled brightly before letting go of your cheeks, his eyes filled with a mixture of joy and relief.

"You know you gave us quite a scare when you weren't in your room," Luffy explained as he squatted down to untie the ropes around your wrist.

Even though your hands were finally free, you couldn't bring yourself to move from the seat. The weight of what you had been through still hung heavy on your shoulders, and you found solace in the familiar presence of Luffy by your side.

You then felt a hand slide behind your back and one under your legs, effortlessly lifting you up as if you were weightless.

"W-wait! I'm wet!" you protested, realizing that you were drenched from head to toe.

Luffy chuckled, unfazed by your statement. "Don't worry about it," he replied, his voice filled with reassurance. "We'll dry you off at the ship. Right now, the most important thing is that you're safe."

You kept quiet as Luffy started walking, his strong arms cradling you protectively.

You then remembered that you were in a secured, hidden base full of guards. How did Luffy even manage to find you?

"Luffy, what happened to the guards...." Your question was answered by the unconscious bodies that greeted you as you left the room.

The guards were clearly knocked out, yet there were no bruises or marks on them. It was as if they had simply fallen asleep.

You looked back at Luffy, who seemed to be focused on finding the exit.

The only thing you were thinking about was. . .

He's so strong. You don't deserve him. He's the sun while you're a rock floating in space. You can't get too close and if you do, you'll get hurt. Maybe you should have died with your country.

"Y/N, don't." The sudden statement made you jump as you looked away from Luffy.

"Don't what?" You replied, acting clueless.

"Don't belittle yourself. You were caught off guard and still fought hard."

From the distance, you saw the exit leading out of the base, and you remained quiet, uncertain of how to respond.

Was he a mind reader as well?

As you got closer to the exit, you were able to make out clearly the expression on the face of Luffy.

Worried but yet disappointed.

When you left the base, you covered your eyes, your eyes barely able to adjust to the brightness of the day. How long did you stay in there for?

"Can you let go now?"

There was no change in Luffy's expression, but he did glance at you this time instead of at his surroundings.

"I won't run away, I'm not that stupid."

With no words said, Luffy gently placed you down on the ground but didn't move far away from you.

You wobbled a bit, but you managed to regain your balance by grabbing onto a nearby tree. The rough bark scraped against your palms, grounding you in the present moment.

You looked up to see Luffy looking around, his gaze scanning the surroundings for any potential threats.

"How did you find me?" You asked as you found the strength to keep standing up, still feeling a bit shaky.

He pulled out a paper out of his straw hat, which seemed to be moving towards you. "I followed you with this Vivre Card," he said, a determined look in his eyes.

"Nami gave it to you?" You asked as you looked at the exterior of the base, taking note of its fortified structure and hidden entrances.

Luffy nodded, his gaze focused on the paper in his hand. "Yeah, she said it would lead me straight to you no matter where you went."

You couldn't help but feel slightly grateful for Nami's foresight and resourcefulness in ensuring your safety.

"Why did you write that note?" Luffy asked seriously, his voice filled with concern.

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts before responding, "I wrote it because I needed to protect you. I didn't want you to get involved in the danger that surrounds me."

"You know that we're here for you, no matter what it is," Luffy stated. "We're a crew, and we face danger together. Protecting each other is what we do."

"I know," you said, hardly paying attention to him and more to the building.

The only way to ensure that no one comes out of this alive is to make sure everyone dies. There is no other way to deal with the pain they caused you than to put them to death.

"Y/N, look at me," Luffy said, holding your shoulders to face him. "I understand that you're hurt and angry, but taking revenge and causing more pain won't solve anything. We can find another way, together."

"Punch there," you said, pointing to a part that was sticking out of the base.

Without hesitation, Luffy stretched his hands, his rubbery arms extending towards the brick as he prepared to deliver a powerful punch, leading to the destruction of the building.

As Luffy's fist connected with the brick, you noticed a blankness in his gaze, as if there was no spark of consciousness behind his eyes. It sent a chill down your spine, making you question whether this was truly the same Luffy you knew and trusted.

"So why did you just do that?" You confronted him, taking a step forward towards him.

Luffy's eyes widened as he looked at the hand that punched the building with curiosity. As if he didn't control it at all.

"I- I," Luffy couldn't even finish his sentence. This hand has never moved without him telling him to. What did you do to him?

"I- what? How would you understand the pain I've felt because of them. They deserve to die!" You yelled, not caring about the tears that were spilling.

"Y/N..."

"Don't, I thought you understood me but now it seems like we're not the same," You muttered, turning around from him.

"Y/N, listen,"

"No, you listen Luffy, I don't know if you recruited me because you pitied me or because you liked me but I am clearly not built for the life of a pirate."

You hesitated on what you wanted to say last, knowing that if you looked into his eyes, you wouldn't be able to speak anymore.

"I think it's best that we should go our separate ways from now on,"

You thought that he would understand your situation. They killed your family, your friends, everyone in your country. How could you let them live after that?

When you heard no response, you took that as your answer.

As you started to walk away, the forest in front of you began to blur suddenly, and as a result you lost your balance, collapsing to the ground. Your body gave in to exhaustion, and you collapsed onto the ground, the weight of your fatigue overwhelming you.

"Y/N!" you could hear the pain in his voice, as Luffy rushed to your side, his eyes filled with worry. . . . .

You woke up feeling an ache on your neck and you felt tired, not able to remember how you got here. As you tried to stretch and alleviate the discomfort, you realized that your surroundings were unfamiliar. The room was dimly lit, and the air felt stale. Panic started to set in as you struggled to piece together the events of the previous night.

What had happened? How did you end up in this strange place with a nagging pain in your neck?

"Oh! You're awake!" A voice said from the door, its voice was high pitched. You turned towards the sound and saw a small figure, who wasn't even half the height of the door, standing in the doorway, holding a tray of food.

Relieved, you realized that the unfamiliar room was actually the doctor's office. Chopper, your loyal friend, switched on the lights and rushed to your side as soon as he saw you awake.

"I was so worried," he squeaked, his voice filled with concern.

"What happened?" You tried to say, your voice croaky and hoarse as you tried to sit up.

Chopper gently helped you into a more upright position and explained, "You were hit with a kind of poison. The impact caused you to go unconscious immediately, which is why your neck is hurting. Luckily Luffy was there with you."

"Luffy?" You repeated.

That's when your memory came rushing back to you.

"How does that feel little girl? Wouldn't it feel better if you had died that day instead of living through this?" He taunted.

"Because of you, I got this so if you think that because Boss said to be gentle with you, don't think I'm going to take this easy," He said, pointing at his face.

"Y/N, listen,"

"No, you listen Luffy, I don't know if you recruited me because you pitied me or because you liked me but I am clearly not built for the life of a pirate."

You hesitated not what you wanted to say last, knowing that if you looked into his eyes, you would be able to speak anymore.

"I think it's best that we should separate from now on,"

"No," you muttered into your hands, your voice barely audible.

"You know we were all worried about you when you disappeared," Chopper said, handing you a glass of water.

"We thought we had lost you. But Luffy found you in the building and carried you all the way here after fighting all of the bad guys. It's a good thing he has that incredible strength."

Feeling parched, you took the glass and drank the whole thing immediately, feeling the cool water soothing your dry throat.

As you finished, you looked at Chopper with a renewed sense of gratitude and said, "I'm sorry for getting you guys worried."

"No, it wasn't your fault that you got kidnapped - oh no, Luffy said to not mention that!" Chopper squealed, covering his mouth with his hooves.

"It's okay, I feel better already," You said, trying to prove that you were strong enough to even lift him but you failed without even lifting him up an inch.

"Just focus on resting, Nami will bring your dinner when it's time," Chopper stated, gently trying to extricate himself from your grip. "You've been through a lot, so it's important to take care of yourself and let us take care of you for a change."

You nodded, releasing your hold on Chopper.

Though before he left, you asked him a question, "What time is it Chopper?"

"It's 5PM, why?"

"Oh it's nothing,"

This means that Luffy will be at his favourite spot in one hour so you had time to plan what you were going to say to him.

You knew that a simple apology wouldn't be enough to make it up to Luffy for all the hurtful things you had said. You needed to find a way to show him just how much you truly cared and how sorry you were for your actions.

"No, you listen Luffy, I don't know if you recruited me because you pitied me or because you like me but I am clearly not built for the life of a pirate."

Why did you have to say that? It's not like he would actually like you, you thought to yourself.

Thinking more, you couldn't bear the thought of dragging Luffy down or becoming a burden to the crew, so you believed it was better to distance yourself from him at the time.

Unable to think for much longer, you decided to leave the room and get some fresh air, with the help of a pair of clutches. As you stepped outside, a gentle breeze brushed against your face, helping to clear your mind and calm your racing thoughts.

You wobbled and eventually made your way to the front of the ship, where the Thousand Sunny's head posed majestically against the backdrop of the open sea. The sight filled you with a renewed sense of determination as you took in the vastness of the ocean, reminding yourself that you were part of something greater than yourself.

As your eyes adjusted to the light, you saw a figure sitting on the Thousand Sunny's head. It was Luffy, his back facing you as he stared out into the horizon.

A mix of emotions flooded your heart - nervousness, sadness, but also a glimmer of hope. This was your chance to pour your heart out and make things right with him.

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through your leg, causing you to lose your balance and stumble forward.

You managed to catch yourself before falling completely, but the pain in your leg intensified. As you looked up, you saw Luffy quickly turn around, his eyes widening in shock as he took in the sight of you stumbling.

"Y/N?"

"Luffy," you muttered, not even realizing you started crying.

The tears streaming down your face mirrored the mixture of emotions inside you, and you desperately tried to hold back the sobs as you struggled to find the right words to say.

A hand stretched out to you and you took it immediately. Luffy, with a concerned expression, quickly but gently guided you to the top of the Thousand Sunny's head, offering you support as you struggled to regain your balance.

When you made it to the top, you took a moment to catch your breath and wipe away your tears.

When you looked closer at Luffy, you realized that he was in a worse condition than you. His whole body was wrapped with bandages, evidence of the intense battle he had fought. He fought for you.

As you caught your breath, you noticed that Luffy's hat was covering most of his face, and it seemed like he wasn't even looking at you.

With your hands still together, Luffy started talking first, his voice filled with concern. "Y/N, what happened to your leg? Are you okay?"

You slightly chuckled, "Can you worry about yourself for once?" You gestured towards Luffy's bandaged body, emphasizing that he needed to take care of himself too.

"Ahh, yeah, this doesn't hurt at all. After all, I did it to save you," Luff answered, looking up to immediately have eye contact with you. No thoughts in those eyes just like before.

You was shocked by the action that he took, which made you look away in order to gain even just the slightest amount of confidence to glance back at him.

"Y/N?"

You turned back to see Luffy pouting, "Yes Luffy?"

"Are you really going to leave me?" Luffy hesitantly said, slightly squeezing your hand that he was holding for comfort.

It broke your heart in half. In a moment of sheer emotion, you took his empty hand into yours and squeezed it tightly in your hands.

It was now or never.

"Luffy, I didn't mean any of the things that I said on the island. I want to stay with you guys forever. I'll train hard to be worthy of the crew of the future King of the Pirates." You paused, "Only if you'll have me."

Luffy grinned like he had already achieved his dream. "Of course I'll have you forever!"

The moment you heard that, you mirrored his expressions and couldn't help but smile. Nothing could bring you down from the moment you heard that.

You hugged him tightly, feeling a rush of relief and happiness wash over you. In that moment, all doubts and worries melted away as you held onto each other, knowing that you had made the right choice. The bond between you and Luffy grew stronger, and you knew that together, you could conquer anything that came your way.

As he slowly let go, both of you remained less than 10 centimeters away from one another's faces, unable to say anything to each other and just gazing at each other's facial expressions.

Your eyes flickered to the scar on Luffy's face, a constant reminder of his battles and the sacrifices he had made. As you continued to gaze into each other's eyes, the tension grew, and you felt an irresistible pull towards his lips.

It was as if the world around you had faded away, leaving only the two of you in that intimate moment.

"Ah! That's where you are Y/N!"

Nami's voice made you both jump and instinctively you tried to move back from Luffy though his hand on your back kept you in place. Maybe it was because you were one step from falling off the ship or maybe he liked the position you two were in.

"Hey Nami, is there something that you want?"

"Yeah! You were supposed to be in the doctor's room but it seems like you're busy," Nami teased.

"It's not what it looks like-" He would never like you anyways.

"Luffy!"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you try that thing that Usopp and Sanji taught you? I'll be going now, enjoy your time together," Nami chuckled before leaving the front deck.

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot!" Luffy said, looking back at you with determination.

Taking your hands off his shoulders, he grasped them tightly in his own hands and squeezed them tightly against his.

"Can- Can I kiss you?"

When those words left his lips, you had no other thought in your mind except to surrender to the overwhelming desire that consumed you.

With a nod and a racing heart, you closed the distance between your lips.

As your lips met, a surge of electricity coursed through your bodies, igniting a fire within you both. It was a gentle yet passionate kiss, filled with longing and tenderness. Time seemed to stand still as you melted into each other, your lips moving in perfect sync.

Every touch, every brush of your tongues, sent shivers down your spine, intensifying the connection between you. The world around you disappeared, and all that mattered was the intoxicating taste of each other's lips.

In that moment, you knew that this kiss was just the beginning of a love that would transcend any obstacle, solidifying your bond with Luffy forever.

You were the first to move back, slowly pulling away to catch your breath. Both of you were left breathless, your faces flushed with a mixture of excitement and anticipation.

"That was... unexpected," you muttered, still clinging onto him, trying to process the intense emotions that had just flooded through you.

It was a moment you never saw coming, yet it felt so incredibly right, deepening the connection between you and Luffy in ways you couldn't have imagined.

Luffy laughed at your embarrassed face, his laughter echoing through the ship and breaking the tension. "Unexpected, huh?" he chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"So how long have you been practicing?" you asked, teasing, as you playfully nudged Luffy's shoulder.

His laughter only grew louder as he shrugged nonchalantly and replied, "Who needs practice when I'm going to be the King Of The Pirates?"

"So you practiced for one day then?" you said, raising an eyebrow at Luffy.

"Yeah, practicing with Usopp and Sanji was the worst!" Luffy sulked, "but doing it with you is way better!"

You blushed at Luffy's words, feeling a mix of embarrassment and warmth.

"Do you want to try again?" you asked shyly, your voice barely above a whisper as you looked into Luffy's eyes.

A mischievous smile played on his lips as he leaned in, his reply coming in the form of another electrifying kiss that made your heart soar.

The second kiss was even more intense than the first.

It was filled with a newfound confidence and a deeper understanding of each other's desires. As your lips met again, there was an undeniable hunger that consumed you both. The world around you faded away once again, leaving only the two of you in this moment of pure bliss.

And as you broke apart, breathless and wanting more, you knew that this second kiss was a testament to the love that would continue to grow between you and Luffy, defying all odds. . . .

"You know what? I think I have found my dream,"

"What is it?"

"It's you, you're my dream."

"What? That's a silly dream,"

"I want to be by your side forever Luffy."

"You're right," Luffy said with a grin, his eyes filled with affection. "And I'm never letting you go. You're not just my dream, you're my reality."

You couldn't help but smile, feeling overwhelmed with happiness. "And you're my reality too, Luffy," you whispered, your words laced with love and certainty. . . .

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