#Himbo Geralt

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 61

Was talking back and forth with @bakewrite in the comments of my other prompts and this idea popped into my head and won't leave me alone I think @thedemonofcat did a similar prompt to this, about Geralt buying a book about caring for your companion (dog)? Can someone link that to me if they find it lol Geralt walks into a bookstore, and asks if they have anything on how to care for bards. The bookstore clerk has bad hearing, and mistakenly thinks this witcher is looking for a guidebook on how to care for birds. He has a copy of one, so he hands it over in exchange for a reasonable amount of coins, he thinks. Geralt meanwhile is pretty sure he was ripped off. Some of this stuff doesn't sound right.. But he doesn't know enough about normal humans - let alone BARDS - to truly disprove of anything. Some of it makes sense. It recommends to not clip their wings, unless their reckless flight could end up in them being injured. Geralt understands that one. He agrees, in a way. He would never restrict his Bard's freedom, but sometimes he must deny his bard a sexual conquest or party he wants to attend, in order to keep him safe from something or someone. Not even mentioning all the times a hunt is so dangerous he has to keep Jaskier safe at the inn, much to Jaskier's chagrin. It also recommends to feed them fresh fruits along with their seed. It must mean to give them some healthy vitamin-filled fruit alongside bread and other grain based foods, right? All of these sound well and good, but then there's also a chapter explicitly stating that albeit they love touch and petting, you mustn't touch their backs, or else they'll get aroused. Geralt has touched Jaskier's back along the years, he should've known better than to make Jaskier uncomfortable. But Jaskier never seemed angry? In fact, he seemed to enjoy whenever Geralt touched his b- Oh gods, Jaskier LIKES when he touches his back! But page 202 says you aren't to let them like when you touch their back! It also says not to let them be attracted to you, but Geralt wouldn't actually mind if his bard was attracted to him- He shouldn't keep thinking along this path. Its dangerous. It says they like shiny, colorful, and easy-to-destroy enrichment items, but Geralt's bard must be special, in that Jaskier loves shiny things and colorful things, but would prefer things to stay together. Then again, some of his clothing WAS quite delicate... They're very clean, they enjoy baths, and they love to preen. Yes, yes, he already knows this. Sometimes they bite when stressed? Odd, Jaskier hasn't bitten him when stressed. Perhaps he's one of the more docile bards... Bards more unruly than Jaskier... Now that's a terrifying thought. Jaskier starts mumbling in his sleep, and Geralt sets aside his book, tucking it into his bags. He'll hold onto his bard now, and finish his book tomorrow night.

[0dde11eth]

[slumberingcorpse]

A small detail in the witcher books that people seem to overlook is that Geralt plays around with his medallion when he’s thinking. It’s adorable! It needs more attention.

[fujitamasterpiece]

I really love fantasy himbos. Big, strong men that are "dumb" in one way or another and do things their own way.

Prime example is Geralt of Rivia. I appreciate his way of "solving" different situations. He's doing it his own messy, dumb, way harder way. And he's probably definitely doing it on purpose.

[marloeny]

A sketch I colored to ease back into posting. :)

[catyo90]

So I'm pretty sure I have three specific types of men that attract me. In movies and/or Video games.

🐴🏹⚔️👑

And/or

🦁🛡️🗡️💛

And/or

🐺🖤🍷🤬

[fiatsound]

Lads I’m gonna be honest, I struggled to get into the witcher show but adore the books and games… it was already questionable when I saw articles that they killed off yen, but now they’re replacing the lead role with LIAM HEMSWORTH??? The LEAD ROLE?? The ONE THING that made the show as close and as accurate to the source material as possible??? Hello??? HELLO?????

[chaoticmultifandom28]

I just know Jaskier would have loved Taylor Swift and MAMMA MIA! The musical. He would be belting all the songs. Especially when he was still pining over Geralt (and Geralt being the himbo he is not realizing)

[mischievous-thunder]

Jaskier: *Watching Geralt and Ciri playing a board game full of usual banter and being adorable*

Yennefer, to Jaskier: Why do you look like you're dying?

Jaskier: Trust me, I'm dying...

Jaskier, : Dying to get married to that himbo asap!

[0dde11eth]

[finleycannotdraw]

I’ve finally gotten my hands on the witcher books and I’m three chapters into blood of elves and these are my thoughts so far

Geralt is a fucking sweetheart and the show doesn’t understand him

Dandelion and Jaskier are The Same. I want to marry him and also subject him to the ice bucket challenge. He is my silly little bisexual fun time girlboy boyfriend you’re too late sonic he’s forklift certified and he’s never going to die <3

the joey batey cake video is basically how I’m imagining how dandelion behaves as a person. “You’ve just caught me reading. Literature. *drops book on the floor* “we really don’t know how to-” *cabinet door comes off in his hand “FUCKING COCK” *pulling random things out of a cabinet* “lasagna sheets! we’re fucking in business” *bowl falls on the floor* “AW, COCK” “Jamie Oliver you’ve lied to me” “when in doubt—” *starts chugging wine* *mashing cake batter with a cucumber* “WHY WONT YOU DIE” *various cuts to him lying on the floor in stages of despair* “I don’t even like cake”

Timeline? Don’t know her. the show has certainly never met her

I would die and kill for Triss Merigold the show got her wrong too

Eskel <3333

Vesemir I love you

Ciri calls him “uncle vesemir” my found family heart is crying

Yennefer and Dandelion are friends

The show did them all dirty

Himbo witchers do not understand ibuprofen😔 but they drink their respect women juice so I will forgive them

Kaer Morons is a very very fitting term

Lambert <3333

There is more emotional maturity in the first 99 pages of the first book than in the entire netflix series

[stranger-nightmare]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞 | 𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 / 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐫

requested by @tiktokitssinoclock

A/N: Jaskier my beloved himbo! thank you sm for this request, I hope you like it!

Geralt looks from you, to Jaskier, to you again, and then back to Jaskier. He lets out a gruff hum.

“Have fun last night, did you bard?” He muses in his deep, flat tone.

“What? What do you mean?” Jaskier stammers quickly, a blush creeping into his cheeks.

Geralt gives a pointed look towards the collection of purple marks dotted all over Jaskier’s neck and throat. Jaskier rambles and stutters awkwardly whilst you just smirk, memories of the previous night flooding into your brain.

You were sat in Jaskier’s lap, wearing nothing but one of his loose shirts and your underwear. Jaskier was shirtless, left in nothing but his tight trousers as your grinder yourself against him. Your lips move fervently against his as his hands hold onto your waist. Your hands roamed all over this impressive body, scratching your nails across the curves of his muscles, leaving red marks in your wake.

You dip your head and start kissing across his neck and throat. You keep your kisses light and soft as you travel across his neck, peppering him with affection. He groans gently, his hips pushing up slightly against yours. When you reach the curve where his neck meets his shoulder you bite down on his skin.

“Ooh, ow,” Jaskier whines.

“Oh don’t the such a baby,” you roll your eyes lightly as you continue your assault on his skin.

“I’m not being a baby,” he huffs. “It hurt,” he pouts.

“Oh yeah?” You pull back to look at him, titling your head to the side cockily. “You want me stop?” You ask mockingly, stopping your grinding movement on his hips too.

His hands quickly grab onto your hips, desperate for you to start moving again.

“N-no, I didn’t say that,” he blushes.

“Good,” you hum, slowly starting up your grinding motion again. “Because I plan on leaving you covered in bruises for everyone to see,” you continue kissing and biting at his neck.

You suck after each bite, pulling the blood to the surface, putting all your focus and energy into leaving deep purple marks all over his throat. He groans softly, letting his head fall back slightly, letting you have even better access to his neck. You hum your approval, scratching your nails down his stomach again.

“I’m gonna show everyone who you belong to,” you murmur against his skin. "That while they may all get to enjoy your music,” you kiss his Adam’s apple, “I’m the only one who gets to enjoy you...”

Main Masterlist // Kinktober 2022 Masterlist

[taleswritten]

Friendly reminder that Geral.t of Ri.via is more than a few grunts and curse words, this man is kind, compassionate, and educated, he’s not the “himbo “ people want to make him out to be,

In all versions of canon, once Geralt is comfortable he’s actually pretty damn talkative. And he loves his puns. I beg of y’all stop dumbing him down and making him only one layer.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Why Characters Matter- Witcher S3 (Vol. 1)

Full spoilers for our four lead character arcs in S3 of The Witcher are below. I am going fully off of memory. I swear, I only have good things to say. (Especially my favorite idiot, he made me cry)

To me, character drives the heart of shows and I finally feel like Witcher has gained some of its heart back.

My biggest problem with Witcher Seasons 1-2 is that I felt like we had no reason to believe our core 4. They had almost no reason to hang out.

Why should I care about Geralt and Jaskier's friendship? Geralt fucking hates him! Jaskier has spent most of his life hated, disliked, or ignored. Hell, in season 2 Jaskier had better chemistry with Yen than Geralt did.

Why should I care about Yennifer/Geralt? I know it's going to happen, and honestly, they spend all of their on-screen time fucking! They never hang out as friends, or people trying to get to get to know each other?

This show took my every criticism and said 'Okay, bet'. It made me fall in love with these characters again. This is a really solid season of television with heart, better cinematography and writing.

NOW: For background. I've seen all of the show and played a bit of the game. I also went through a 'lore of Witcher' phase on YouTube analyzing the books. Add onto all that a full 2 years of my life reading fanfic (Geralt/Jaskier, Jaskier/Yen, Geralt/Yen, or all of them in a poly relationship). I am no expert in the series, but where the show failed me, I went to other forms of the story.

So when I say I care about these characters, I am not talking out of my ass. I am going to go character by character and explain why this season helped me care again.

Ciri: Season 2 she was just kind of there? Yeah, she was learning, but she was a plot device. Yen wanted her, the Witchers wanted her, etc. In Season 3 I finally see a girl desperate for connection and safety. She asks all three adults what she should be in life for advice because shes scared. ('I see a powerful ruler regardless of what you do', 'in the future, if you are queen you're life will be shit'. and 'I like who you are now, focus on that and what makes you happy')

She is also SO SMART. I love she tries to impress Geralt with her monster knowledge. That she is really giving it her all with Yen and magic. But she knows that she just can't fit in with the Sorceress, and feels that she's wasting her gifts with Geralt. I know how her story ends and it hurts me to know that her optimism might just get crushed. SHE'S A CHILD!!!!

Yennifer: I AM SO SORRY I DOUBTED YOU! She is the boss ass bitch, I love her, and I fully forgive her for her self-sabotaging in Season 2. She genuinely wants to try to repair shit with Geralt. GENUINELY APOLOGIZING. Starting slow, showing Geralt that she's not just trying to be friendly for a cheap fuck. They spend time together. She is at war trying to balance her circles of influence AND take care of a kid. When she talks to her old friends, I SEE that being vague and secretive is hurting her. BUT SHE HAS TO for her family.

This is the first time I looked at Yen and thought 'She loves him'. All the 'magic kiss slowmo' bullshit didn't work for me. But when she wrote out 'your friend Yennifer' I BELIEVED HER. She's also so funny? Her struggle wearing masks is so relatable, and her teaching Ciri is heartbreaking.

GERALT: I LOVE THIS FUCKING HIMBO. He's trying to balance opening up, running away from authorities, and being a decent role model for his kid.

HE APOLOGIZED! MULTIPLE TIMES! For all his shitty actions! He does it so casually and earnestly! To Jaskier, Yen and Ciri. I don't know where this development happened, but GOD, I love it. He opens up!!!! He smiles, he get's soft, and he gets scary when he needs to!

He went from 'uncaring baddass' to 'oh god, he's a socially awkward nerd'. I finally see a Geralt I recognize. He's smart, and skilled but still struggles with socializing and doing what is right.

EPISODE 5 OH MY GOD. I am so happy they split this series up so we can stew in the cliffhanger!!!

I was on the edge of my seat. Geralt and Yen trust each other so implicitly they're able to make plans on the fly!

Jaskier: He's my favorite. Always has been. (I can write a paper on him this season I swear)

I went into this season expecting him to be in maybe a few scenes, but NO. My man was relevant to the plot.

1.) PLEASE GO TO THE OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK AND LISTEN TO THE JASKIER ORCHESTRAL STUFF. It's so fucking fun! All plucky, and it sounds like you're going on an adventure and falling in love. 'Lessons in Smiling', 'He's a Spoon'.

2.) I FUCKING LOVED WHAT THEY DID WITH VALDO MARX. I was in no way spoiled, I didn't even know he'd show up. So I literally had to pause I squealed so loud. I wanted Jaskier to be treated well, and I wanted CANON Valdo Marx! I GOT BOTH! Also, All is Not As It Seems is a banger, but maybe overplayed. As Valdo deserves! You get the sense that Valdo is chasing trends and Jaskier fucking despises this man.

3.) THE ROMANTIC ARC. Now. I was spoiled that he'd get a love interest that was 'evil'. I fully expected a 'Douchebag convinces innocent protag they love them, only to double cross them'. This is how it starts. Jaskier catches on really quickly that he's probably going to get double-crossed.

Jaskier knows this is going to be a whole ordeal, so he tries to be as careful as possible. Seeming interested while keeping a distance. We can see Jaskier holding himself behind a mask, keeping the fun energy but watching Radovid in most scenes.

BUT. Jaskier is a romantic.

He knows this prince is bad news, he knows that. But something is keeping him stuck there. He sees his prince as someone to be suspicious of. A man who is willing to fake being drunk to hit on him. A prince who tries to be coy, and get Jaskier alone to talk. Who is usually there when Jaskier talks to his spy contacts. But...Well, we the audience has never seen how Jaskier acts around someone who genuinely likes him and who isn't afraid to show it.

Jaskier will follow a man who hates him for a good chunk of his life, writing songs about nature, love and heartbreak.

But in all this time he NEVER had someone to seriously listen to him. To see through his music, and lyrics, and look at the person he was.

So when this blonde prince sneaks away from an important party and admits that he's scared. And sings Jaskier one of his songs? Not a story written about adventure, or inuendo, or Geralt. No!

A song about how soft and kind love was because it let you be yourself with someone. How a person craves intimacy, even how music is written with untold words of love and kindness. How Jaskier finally feels complete in life! How Jaskier craves to be with someone, to be seen, even if it ends in heartbreak.

This prince finally SEES him...so.

Jaskier falls in love with Radovid of Redania.

Even if it's just for a night, even if it's just a crush. Jaskier can't help himself. He's the one to close the gap. To initiate the kiss. It's so GOOD.

Now. This is a man with bad intentions who is going to hurt Jaskier. I suspect that Jaskier fucking Radovid gave the 'enemy' enough time to kidnap Ciri. So.

Jaskier has always craved being seen by anyone who would listen. To be liked. To be loved. Here, on this one night, that craving was fully taken advantage of, (maybe)with a goal to hurt a person Jaskier cares about(Ciri, by leaving her alone). Even if it turns out that Radovid isn't involved, that he didn't mean for this, it would break Jaskier. Jaskier would close himself up, much like S1 Geralt, his heart wouldn't be safe with anyone. He will smile again. Dance and sing for adoring fans. But he'll never let someone dangerous in again.

I have always shipped Geralt/Jaskier, I really love reading it. I love angst/unrequited love. Hell, give it a week, and I'll read S3 fic. But this season I saw a Jaskier that didn't need Geralt anymore. Who had moved onto someone who at least seemed interested. Jaskier was simply a happy man doing what he loved. He was a weird Uncle teaching Ciri how to be human. I ADORE the scene where Geralt and Yen are talking and Ciri and Jaskier are secretly watching them. I finally feel like Jaskier is an accepted member of this family.

4.) Just seeing someone finally be comfortable in their own skin was so nice in this show. He's a funny, awkward, and sometimes charming guy. He's anxious ass all he'll, and scared and trying to rationalize the shit that's happened to him. He runs around doing stupid shit because he cares about his friends. He's not attached to Geralt's hip, and the audience gets a sense Jaskier has a life! I fucking love this man, and how he tries to seem brave around literal superhumans.

This season treated Jaskier, like how fandom on AO3 treated Jaskier, with respect, joy, and a plan to break his heart!

[mrsarnasdelicious]

Alright, Yous asked for this - PART TWO

So, the list of all my drafts doesn't fit in one part...

Riding the Beasts SCP 682 smut CW: Monsterfucking

Sihtric AU-arama Just all osrts of Sihtric AUs, in a long, big list.

Some good ass edging Edging Modern!Sihtric, straight up smut

I'll Be Your Prize [Finan x Sihtric] Uhtred tells Finan he can ask for the thing he wants most, so Finan asks for Sihtric.

The Things We Do With Power - I The Boys fic, mild fix it, predominantly wicked smut.

A very old promise Once Upon the beginning of my blog, I promised to write a certain poly smut thing, so here goes nothing.

All About A Gag Sihtric x Finan x Osfert. Sihtric fakes a gag and Finan is not having it.

Domestic - Lan Mandragoran Lan x Reader, being cute.

One Big Bed Poly Wheel of Time smut. Rand is a slut in this one.

The Pantsident Mark tore his pants. Mark x Reader smut

A Long Drive [Marnas] Mark rips his pants and Arnas makes full use of the situation.

Orgasm Desperation - Stephen Colley Stephen x Reader, with reader making Stephen beg for it.

BoB Sexarama Shameless, plotless smut headcanons.

A3 - Throuple Aethelflead x Aldhelm x Aethelred headcanons

BoB Poly Family BS You get involved with Finan, Sihtric and Osferth and raise children with them. Modern verse, headcanon list

Band of Bebbanburgh - XII - Getting Ink Done Uhtred, Osferth, Finan and Sihtric are getting tatted and Sihtric likes it a bit too well.

First Kiss - Draco Malfoy Set during book six.

First Kiss - Eric Northman Simple as.

Basically every thought I have ever had about Sihtric, but in a pile Full ass headcanon dump on my very fav himbo.

Good Good Good, Good Vibrations Mr F uses a vibe on reader, in public, sorta.

Orgasm Desperation - Game!Lambert Needy Needy Lambertini.

Lambert in the Middle Lambert getting some DP from Eskel and Geralt.

Another Lovely Puppy Pile Reader x Many witchers (and Jaskier)

Band of Bebbanburgh - XI - Tetanus Uhtred 'challenges' Sihtric to catch a pigeon. Hoemboy gets pecked and scratched, but has no tetnaus immunisation, so Finan and Osferth have to wrangle him to go to the dco's. Sihtirc does not like doctors and has to be pacified with sexy times from his boyfriends.

Giving Birth to Sihtric's Child It is not reader's first and it will most certainly not be the last.

TLK Underworld AU Headcanon List about a mafia au of sorts

Finan Eating You Out He's good with his mouth, let's be real

How He Met Me - VI August POV version of The Prophet [fic]

At the Desk - Napoleon Solo Napoleon Solo fucking reader on her desk, Arranged Marriage verse.

Sex in the Changing Room - Modern!Sihtric Raunchy dirty naughty Sihtric fucking reader in the changing rooms of the local clothing store.

On the table - Sihtric Canon verse, he humps you on the table

Sex in the Bath - Captain Syverson Bath sex with Sy

Ever Curiouser - I Hellboy Longfic, polyship.

Some Bebbanboys smut, bc I am nasty Smutty stuff with Sihtric x Finan x Osferth

Ben Daimio x Werewolf Reader A beastly smut

The Bebbanboys Band AU headcanons

Ben Daimio - Sneaking Around Smutty, you and Ben avoid getting caught while fucking on the job

Sweetheart Prompt #3 Ivar Lothbrok, suprise surprise

Band of Bebbanburgh - X - What Sihtric Does Best Smut fest about Sihtric sucking dick

Ulysses Klaue Smut Does exactly what it says on the tin.

No Way We Are Making Homework - Modern Ubbe Modern Ubbe x Reader. You should be making homework, but you are not.

Nasty Nasty Dirty Gross Ubbe CW: Incest Ubbe uses one specific way of making Hvitserk listen.

Ubbe x Alfred - Modern AU Ubbe and Alfred shower together.

This Home I Built - TLK Poly Fest Selfish fix it fic, lotsa smut, mainly about Sihtric.

Santiago Garcia Breeding Kink V1 Santi knocking you up.

Alpha Geralt Going Feral Nasty smut with no excuses

Sihtric - Breeding Kink V1 Sihtric knocking you up

Omega Sihtric Going Feral Needy Omega Sihtric

Alpha Geralt Scenting You Scenting sesh getting out of hand.

Santiago Garcia - Rough Sex Ah yes, more shameless porn with no plot.

Scenting Omega Sihtric Scenting Omega Sihtric gets out of hand.

My Fair Lady Shameless Aldflaed smut

Expectations - Loki Shameless Loki smut

Choking Sam Winchester Reader applying some pressure to a big moose, sexually.

At Saltwick What happened between Sihtric, Finan and Osferth while the kids were asleep.

Sex in Public - Sihtric Canon verse.

Neteyam x Au'Nung Neteyam almost died and Au'Nung is distressed.

Proof That I am an Aweful Person [TLK Poly stuff] More ReaderxPretty Boys headcanons

Fjall Stoneheart - Doggystyle Shameless smut

Band of Bebbanburgh - IX - Seeking Refuge Osferth goes to Finan when his homelife starts turning for the worst.

Breeding V1 - Jake Sully Jake Sully knocking you up.

Band of Bebbanburgh - VIII - Show You How Sihtric teases Osferth how to please Finan

Band of Bebbanburgh - VII - Small Comforts Finan having himself a slice of Sihtric.

Band of Bebbanburgh - VI - Sihtric's Dream Sihtric wakes up from a bad dream and Finan and Osferth put him at ease.

By God(s) and Men - Finan x Sihtric Canon verse; Sihtric and Finan figure out their dynamic.

The Baker's Boy - Finan x Sihtric Modern AU; Finan just realised he's been in love with Sihtric all along.

The Witan - Mark/Arnas/Reader CW: RPF and RPS Established Arnas x Reader and Past Marnas. Arnas convinced reader to come along to a TLK cast vaca and things spin swiftly out on his control.

All Three of Them Reader x Sihtric x Finan x Osferth smut

Threesome with Sihtric and Osferth Shameless smut with a lil twist

Threesome with Sihtric and Finan Dirty smutty smut smut smut

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern AU) - Sibling Vibes

Yennefer and Jaskier's early relationship worried Geralt at first. It had caused a certain level of tension that kept Geralt on edge, making him feel like something was coming. Something he would not at all be happy about. He was convinced that Jaskier, at some point, would make a move and try to f**k Yennefer. He had a certain reputation, after all. Geralt was left in a perpetual state of uncertainty.

Geralt knew that Jaskier had considered the idea when he first met her, but at the time he was mildly terrified of her so he elected to behave himself. He was very good at reading people, and it was obvious at the time that Yennefer was not going to put up with his nonsense.

But years later, well after they had figured each other out, he'd never tried to make a move on her. There was nothing but chaste forehead and cheek kisses, hugs, and cuddles, and Jaskier never put his hands on Yennefer in any kind of inappropriate way.

Geralt had been suspicious for a long time, watching Jaskier closely. He was uncomfortable with the way Jaskier seemed so casual about making jokes and calling Yen his 'wife'. He knew Jaskier knew that Yennefer was taken, but that had never stopped Jaskier before. Geralt had heard many of Jaskier's stories about past lovers. Many of them involved individuals in commited relationships.

Geralt wondered how he was still walking this mortal plane.

But Yennefer was different. Jaskier told Geralt one evening, as they sat drinking in Van Roach, that Yennefer was...just special. He loved her in a way that he had never loved a woman before. She made him feel seen, and like he was just an average, irritating brother. She didn't give two sh*ts that he was a Viscount, or a famous bard.

He couldn't really explain the feeling. It was complicated. He knew, without her even telling him, that even though she constantly reminded him of how much she abhorred him and wanted to vomit at the sight of him, that she didn't mean any of it, and that she would go to war for him. She would burn the world to the ground if anyone hurt him. Or if he asked it of her.

"She would b*tch about me the whole time, but she would do it without hesitation, and give no quarter. It's actually mildly unsettling, now that I think about it."

"I know it sounds stupid...but she's...she's the b*tchy, edgy, slightly unhinged-- probably demon possesed -- sister that I didn't know I was missing in my life. The thought of touching her like that... I could never! It feels wrong, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach."

"Geralt, you know how I am. A week or two and I would be chasing someone else's a**. I don't want that for her. I won't do that to her. I won't f**k either of you like that."

"What do you mean how would I-!" *offended gasp* "How dare you! I'm trying to have a heartfelt conversation with you, and you are making jokes!"

Yennefer had summed her thoughts up less poetically, and much more consicely.

"He's a f***ing aggravating, derpy a**, sing-songy manwh*re, who is so f***ing stupid I don't know how he's survived this long. But he's so babygirl I can't help but like him!"

"Oh please! He's not my type."

*eyeroll* "Big, beefy, oblivious, white-haired himbos with better tits than me and dummy thicc a**es."

"You f***ing heard me."

Geralt had been left feeling kind of silly for not trusting his own family. Every day that passed from then on was just more proof that what they had said was true.

Geralt realized that was what was special about Jaskier. Sure, he was a genious when it came to his craft, but he was also gifted at reading people and he naturally interacted with them in the way that balanced them; gave them what their heart needed the most.

Geralt thought about his own interactions with Jaskier. He knew he tended to brood, and be too serious. He kept things to himself and self-isolated. Jaskier balanced him out by bringing the humor, playfulness, and extroversion Geralt needed.

He could see that Jaskier was meeting a need in Yennefer that she probably didn't know she was ignoring. Something her heart needed. He was allowing her to have a little of the life she could have had if she had not been sold to Aretuza. She was experiencing life with a sibling.

There was a certain level of bellicosity to their interactions. It appeared as if they lived for confrontation, craved it, bickering just like siblings would. Neither of them could let an opportunity to make a comment go to waste. Geralt secretly kept a score card on who came up with the best insults. Jaskier was winning so far, but only because he was a bard, and words were his business.

There were pranks, and made up games, and hundreds of little things they did to each other to pester, annoy, and irritate. Most of them, if not all of them, were f***ing childish, which somehow made it even more amusing.

Their pranks on each other were just as childish and sometime impressively creative/sneaky. They were mostly harmless and didn't make too much of a mess, and the way they would scream when they got pranked was somehow satisfying.

Names were often called, but in an affectionate way. It was all in the tone of voice. There was a difference, Yennefer insisted, between "b**tard", and "b**stard" (affectionate), even though it sounded the exact same to Geralt.

And there were the times when they were so soft with each other. Just little quiet moments where they stopped pretending to hate each other and would be disgustingly cute or playful. They really were like a brother and sister.

The only thing that gave Geralt a headache about their relationship was how it could just randomly change. One moment they were close, loving siblings, then they were being brats to each other, taking immense joy in f***ing with each other, then they were threatening to disown each other, then Yennefer was jumping Geralt's a** for something he said to Jaskier, or both of them had ganged up on him and were being petty little a**holes becuase Geralt had p*ssed one of them off.

It was exhausting, and that was why Geralt called them the Chaotic Siblings. It was as if everyday they woke up and chose violence. But Geralt couldn't complaint too much. It was free entertainment after all!