#Hiding Your Love
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5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.
But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.
One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.
Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.
For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.
But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.
Happy.
It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.
Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.
It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.
A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.
5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.
It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.
Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.
I’m a Rescue.
She gave me a Home.
And, so, I gave her a Family.
It seemed fair
This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.
don’t give up yet, ok?
It could get good, even.
#troglodyte thoughts#tales from Real Life#cw addiction#cw alcohol#sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train#run#fight#hide#SURVIVE#do not go into the light#there are unpet dogs#and unhugged children#and unseen sunsets#and maybe even love#even for a wretch like me#the best part of your life might be old age#you don’t know
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Oh, what a shy little fiery kitty you've got yourself, Wade!
#logan loves hiding behind mock annoyance#to keep his true feelings from being obvious#little does he know that he isn't exactly subtle#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wade wilson#james logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#peanutbub#old man yaoi#imagine your otp#otp prompts#writing promt#marvel memes#mcu avengers edits#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#deadpool x wolverine#mischievous thunder
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This picture of Scar and Tango is so gorgeous??? I love it so much I want it framed and put on my wall rn /silly
#picture is from Aimsey btw!!#well idk if they took it#prolly from like. a photographer ir maybe aimsey is just hiding secret camera skills O didn't know about#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#gtws#tango#Augh I love them so much your honor
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I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!
I am not normal about any of these characters!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#me just staring at the ceiling thinking about anime characters#if i start talking about the big stuff now it's going to turn into a huge rambling mess so in the meantime#i did not get sebek (yet) (i need to contemplate my gems...) but i did see his groovy#he is just full-on cinderella-sparkles bibbidi-bobbidi-booing into that armor! magnificent.#and i really don't have enough words for how much i love tiny malleus. he is perfect. he is precious. he is everything to me.#he knows who his dad is no matter what some crusty dead talking ectoplasm blobs say#(man no wonder lilia's got hangups if THAT was the general attitude he was getting)#('eww you got your dirty bat cooties on the prince' go sit in the corner with mrs. rosehearts you absolute garbage)#(...i did kind of love that lilia started to wake up because the senate said one nice thing to him)#(and he immediately was like 'this is not reality')#(sounds about right)#on a lighter note i was just. SO charmed by the little throwaway about ✨dragon lord consort esteemed diplomat revaan✨#who picks the vegetables out of his food and hides them under the tablecloth#everything i learn about this man makes me like him more. he was SO dumb.#now we know where malleus gets it from i guess#also unrelated but once again the fact that i named my mc tamago has had unintentional consequences#tamago take the tamago and tamago tamagao tamago#frikkin love that when yuu gives the egg back you can just be like 'i love him. this is my baby now.' 100% accurate.#also yuu continually referring to malleus as tsunotarou even to the senate = amazing. yuu really has NO self-preservation or awareness.#they fit right in with everyone else#<- see what did i tell you. huge rambling mess.#and i haven't even BEGUN to talk about MELEANOR -- (is dragged offstage by a hook)
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my favourite dynamic between Tim and Damian is Tim being confident and comfortable with his place in the family and with being Robin (Tim has a smidge of self-esteem) and he's like 15-17 basically like mid teenage years and then Damian comes and he's like between 8-10 and instantly declares Tim his enemy cause he's Robin and that is his birthright
but instead of Tim also beefing with him cause he's kind of insecure and stuff he just finds it funny and honestly kind of adorable
and like yeah Damian is an assassin but Tim is like twice his size and is trained and has years of experience, so Damian can't actually hurt him
Tim decides to indulge him cause again he finds it funny and cute and also genuinely wants to help Damian get use to living at the manor and make the adjustment as easy as possible for him
and Damian is a kid so he doesn't realize what Tim is doing and actually tries to hurt him and stuff and Tim's just so casual about it
like Damian tries to stab him and Tim just sidesteps him and continues doing whatever it was he was doing, or Damian puts poison in his coffee but Tim has either already developed an immunity to it or has an antidote on hand, so he just drinks it and acts like nothing happend
this eventually leads to Damian just confronting him (maybe even in front of the rest of the family, who lowkey had no idea that it was doing on cause Tim never mentioned anything and Damian was technically trying to kill him secretly) and Tim just honestly telling him that he just wanted Damian to feel welcome and if this help he didn't mind and was just excited to have a little brother and at the end of the day it's good training for himself and also Damian and starts giving him pointers and planning training session so that when in a few years Damian actually gets to take over Robin, he is ready
and Damian really doesn't know what to do with any of it because Tim apparently cares about him??? and is planning to give him Robin in the future???
Tim doesn't even notice that Damian is really struggling with all that he's saying until his hands are full of his little brother, who has not given a single hug to anyone yet since he arrived, not Bruce, not Dick, not even Alfred and it's over as fast as it started and Damian bolts instantly and stays in this room till dinner the next day
but than they start training together that week and maybe Tim isn't his enemy after all
#they are brothers your honor#tim drake#damian wayne#batfam#Damian yelling at Tim why wont he die and why hes just ignoring his attempts and why he doesnt fight him the coward#and the rest of the family standing there like ?!??!! youve been doing what#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#alfred pennyworth#tim forever holds it over everyone that he was the first one to get a Damian hug#he wins many arguments with it#it never fails to make damian blush and hide away#his brothers love him and he really just doesnt know what to do with it#dc universe
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Who put these kids here?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan sizhui#jin ling#jin chan#lan wangji#wei wuxian#ouyang zizhen#nameless red disciple#Congrats Jin Chan on your second and likely final appearance in this comic series.#Him turning into a yellow lump in the final panel is shorthand for 'I gave up. drawing is hard. Lump mode activated.'#Or - maybe they turned him around last minute to hide the evidence. It's up to reader interpretation!#I did skip a lot to get here but it is all in the effort of hitting key points and not dragging this season on.#Wen Ning lovers don't worry. He'll be back soon.#I do love how LZH turns to violence and joins in on kicking jin chan alongside the others.#Even more so when you remember they are all tied up the entire time.#Just...What a scene to walk in on as an outsider. And then to not fully comment on.#To be honest: That's kind of how it goes with teens. They know you know. You know they know you know. We won't unpack that.#It's been ages since we saw all the juniors together! They are as silly as ever B*)#I split this comic into two! So there are two comics left of the season!
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I just had an upsetting thought - what if Alison constantly visited the Ghosts and knew - when she was old and grey and had lived a life - that she was going to die, so she made sure she was in Button House for it?
Mike accepts it and understands her want to go back to the Ghosts, they’re like family, they’re always there.
But then it’s Mike’s turn to go and he decides it must happen at Button House too. He’ll see his wife again! Spend a couple of hundred years together & hey he can actually meet/talk to the ghosts now!
Only when he dies and he meets all the Ghosts, who are all excited to actually talk to him etc, he asks where Alison is, only to find that she moved on straight away.
He finally gets to see a part of his life that was so bizarre for him, so secret and hidden, part of his life where he only ever had half a story. And now he has that half but his whole world is still gone and he doesn’t know when he’ll ever see her again.
#one thing I love about ghosts#is that Mike knows about them#there’s no elaborate hiding it all away from him on Alison’s side#I feel like it’s so unusual for a couple to be so healthy that your wife can say she’s seeing ghosts#and your (eventually) like ok I fuck with that#and she tells him straight away too#ghosts uk#bbc ghosts#mike cooper#alison cooper#the captain#julian fawcett#pat butcher#kitty higham#thomas thorne#lady button#robin#humphrey bone#sad ghosts post#my brain is weird
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“Talking too much about fandom is cringe.”
Buddy! The world is a flaming pile of horse shit! Governments topple, natural disasters happen, fucking STARS explode! You yourself are a beautiful bundle of dead universe that will never exist again! Talk about what you love!
#fandom#so over people hiding what they love#talk to me about your fandoms even if I don’t know them#bc it’s cute af to see people love something
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ignore… that i only draw him ever… please. had to figure out how his burn scars work
#mine#creepypasta#jeffrey woods#jeff the killer#jtk#i literally… just had to get him out of my system ig#i like to draw him w his mouth open. idk i noticed i do a lot#whatever#fun fact he’s blind in his left eye (his left not yours)#decided that just now. he’s also hiding a bald spot there he just parts his hair weird#because he’s a freak.#and i hate him.#i can’t stand him. i love him. i want him in a woodchipper
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crowley, drunk off his ass: and i was yk just some fucked up soul born in cold and rain but he was my fucking sunlight or whatever
hozier, frantically writing on a napkin: HHHMMMM TELL ME MORE
#hozier is INSANELY azicrow coded and i am going feral over the implications that crowley heard the lines 'if the heavens ever did speak she#the last true mouthpiece' LIKE EXCUSE ME?????????#'u called me angel for the first time my heart leapt from me' and crowley cries himself to sleep#'heaven is not fit to house a love like u and i' and crowley projectile vomits onto the floor#'it cant be unlearned i have known the warmth of your doorways' 'i slithered here from eden just to hide outside ur door' 'though i burn how#could i fall when i am lifted by every word u say to me' and his ass is GONE he has EXPLODED#good omens#inefabble husbands#good omens s2#good omens season 2#azicrow#hozier#crowley#aziraphale
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Been doing silly papercrafts lately and I thought of those ask shitposts w/ pics of real hands I did with the svsss sillies
Live pic of Zhuzhi lang and Tianlang jun
#svsss#svsss shitpost#shen qingqiu#sqq#luo binghe#lbh#zhuzhi lang#zzl#mandatory zzl my beloved I love him so so much#it's fun to craft and then hold the small guys in the palm of your hands#might continue the papercrafts even when I get internet back#lbh hiding in the blueberry bushes (blueberry season ended though 😔)
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Otome Isekai x Text Post Meme
(Originally posted this on r/otomeisekai, but I'm posting it here too on someone's request)
#manhwa#otome isekai#webtoon#villains are destined to die#surviving romance#the rules of rose ivy manor#kill the villainess#the daughter of the albert house wishes for ruin#fiance's observation log of the self-proclaimed villainess#your ultimate love rival#the male lead's sickly aide is my type#how to survive as a maid in a horror game#let's hide my younger brother first#I failed to oust the villain#your eternal lies#depths of malice#lady crystal is a man#touch my little brother and you're dead#side characters deserve love too#bad ending of an otome#the heiress's double life#the antagonist's pet#I will politely decline the male lead#who made me a princess#what it means to be you#lady baby#this is probably the longest tag I've ever typed for a post#OI try not to have long ass titles challenge: failed
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Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dev dimmadome#fop dev#dale dimmadome#emetophobia#art#digital art#fanart#comic#Sorry for taking so long on this I was procrastinating bcs its just kinda a context page that needs to exist for other stuff to happen#I love it when they interact like disgruntled roommates#like on one had he SHOT HIM on the other hand whats Dev supposed to do? Go no contact?? Hes ten#This takes place like 2 days after the deer attack#Dale got whisked away to fairy world to get speed healed and had his memory wiped of the whole thing#Devs relationship with his dad is so messy cause like yes his dad hurt him but also thats his dad and he loves him.#even if his dad doesnt love him back#He wants to Want To Hurt his dad. thats the right way to feel about after what he did. and he does feel that way sometimes.#but on some level its was kind of a relief to hear that he couldnt wish harm on people#because even if he could he isnt sure he could go through with it#and there would be nothing worse than having the power to do something and yet. not#sorry if that sounds insane#complicated relationships with your abuser my beloved#also just the quiet acceptance Dev has for (what he thinks is) Peri straight up lying to his face#Dev likes Peri a lot but he is also deeply aware that Peri hides a lot of things from him#I think he appreciates that Peri tries to shield his feelings. His dad doesnt do that#ofc Peri isnt actually lying here I just think the layers of such a small interaction are hilarious
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What Does It Mean? To Be Human, J'onn J'onzz?
#martian manhunter#j'onn j'onzz#dc comics#justice league#my art#jl remix#do you ever have profound thoughts about J'onn cuz I sure do constantly#to be so foreign that you have to wear layers of identities to hide your true form- only to end up creating loving relationships#out of those many identities that are all parts of you in some way
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I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.
#Better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own.#In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece.#Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot!#Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional.#I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of.#LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated.#He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief.#Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation.#He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable.#Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him.#Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy.#Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief.#It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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