"The prince found himself looking at a horned woman of a very strange beauty, and she was smiling"
Rod Ruth (1912-1987) - Illustration for Richard S. Shaver's 'The Princess and Her pig'
(Fantastic Adventures Vol.9 #2, March 1947)
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"I think Glip and Kal don't like me."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, we just don't talk. Like it's fine when your here or Quip is here but when you guys leave we don't really talk."
"Have you tried? Like making small talk?"
"Yeah but its really awkward and short." Max sighs leaning back in his chair.
"Hmmm...oh my god Piper! Take that off Marl!"
He watches as his friend and co-worker runs off to deal with Piper running off with Marl, treating the youngling as a stuffie to dress. Marl cackled as they were carried off by the human.
"Too bad you don't talk to them like my Mapa, they are a chatter bug."
"Your Mapa is a chatter bug? Really Dali?" he found it hard to believe that Calis would be chatty. The ever so serious and stoic first mate.
"Yeah but only when Pomo gets them talking. Usually about go-sip."
"Gossip huh?"
.
"He sent the email to everyone. Everyone! He sent all the texts and messages between them to everyone to show them what she said about us."
"Oh my god what a power move...this dude is my hero." Quip nods in agreement.
"Want me to read em?"
"Max I would kill you if you didn't."
"Seconded."
..
"-I feel unsafe in this hostile environment. You told me it was fine, that I could go whenever."
"Go whenever? ...she left like a day before the wedding! A day! She had 3 goddamn months!! And hostile??? Says the woman who tried to call the cops on her own roommate for being 'too loud'!!" shouts Quip crushing the drink in his hand.
"It gets better."
"HOW?!" cries Kim
"Hold up! Pause! I need a new drink!"
"Oh get me one too will you?" the humans call out.
...
"-I'll be changing the locks and hereby request to you all who I have sent this email to to not contact her or respond to her. Thanks for reading and Tiffany, I'm willing to talk to when you come back from your trip. Bring your keys."
"Oh shit its done! She's dumped. He's dumping her as soon as she comes home!"
"I need a copy of this or just you to read it to me again and again for a month."
"Oh with pleasure, I love reading this. It never gets old."
"Thank you for sharing this. This was the best gossip I've had in years. Come on, desert on me!" she shouts grabbing her friends arms leading them back to the cafeteria.
....
"Hey Max!" he looks up from his lunch and sees Quip with Kal and Glip.
"Hey guys."
"I was telling these two about the shipwreck you told me and they won't stop hounding me about asking you for a copy of the email or in depth detail so here." he shoves his two embarrassed partners forwards to the human
"I'd love to hear it again but I gotta return something before the place closes. I'll be back in an hour, have fun!" he calls waving to them
"...so how much do you guys know?"
"...a bit but could you start from the beginning?"
"Like when she said she hurt her back a week after flaking on doing her part of the wedding planning."
"Gotcha. So she says that she hurt her back a week after going to the gym, which makes no sense because back injuries hurt right after or hours after the thing you did!"
"Oh she's lying."
"Did they kick her out of the wedding planning?"
"No, because they don't want to cause drama about this. Like its hard to subtlety make a person prove their back is hurt. Also the job they gave her was the smallest thing so."
"What was her job?"
"Making sure there was enough napkins and balloons."
"Get a hint Tiffany!"
"That's so sad."
.....
"So I heard you're gossip buddies with Kal and Glip?"
"Yep. Spent 3 hours sharing gossip."
"..."
"You wanna hear it?"
"Yes!"
"Thought you would. Wrote down the key notes of each story."
"This is why we're best friends!!"
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