#Healing from Childhood Trauma: Navigating Adult Relationships

[myimperfectlyperfectjourneyllc]

How Childhood Trauma Shapes Adult Relationships: My Personal Story

I’m sure you already know that childhood traumas often ends up have long-lasting effects on our lives (including our friendships, romantic relationships, and how we connect/interact with colleague and and co-workers). Now, In this week’s blog post, I will share my personal experience with avoidant/dismissive attachment, and neglect/anxious attachment. Plus, I will also discuss how these traumas…

[elicathebunny]

EMBRACING YOUR INNER CHILD.

(BASED ON HEALTHLINE)

Understanding your inner child is recognizing a representation of your early self or a symbol of youthful dreams. Dr. Diana Raab highlights that awareness of your inner child can evoke memories of carefree years, offering a way to cope with challenging times. However, not everyone associates childhood with joy, especially if they experience neglect or trauma. In such cases, the inner child may feel small and vulnerable, with buried pain resurfacing in adulthood. Healing your inner child is essential for addressing distress in relationships and meeting your own needs. - Healthline

Listening to Your Inner Child:

After establishing a connection with your inner child, it's crucial to pay attention to the emotions that surface in triggering situations.

Recognizable feelings may include anger, abandonment, insecurity, vulnerability, guilt, or shame.

Identifying childhood events tied to these emotions helps understand recurring patterns in adult life.

Writing a Letter to Your Inner Child:

To initiate healing, writing a letter to your inner child is recommended.

Reflect on childhood memories, providing insights or explanations for distressing circumstances not understood back then.

Ask questions like "How do you feel?" to maintain an ongoing dialogue.

Meditation for Inner Child Work:

Meditation enhances self-awareness, aiding in recognizing emotions triggered by specific situations.

It helps in getting comfortable with unwanted emotions and practising acknowledgement.

Loving-kindness meditation and visualization are suggested for connecting with your inner child.

Journaling as Your Inner Child:

Journaling from the perspective of your inner child helps recognize unhelpful patterns that originated in childhood.

Recall specific age-related emotions through visualization and express thoughts freely to understand inner child pain.

Reconnecting with Joyful Moments:

Embrace relaxation and playfulness to heal the pain of a childhood lacking positive experiences.

Incorporate small pleasures, enjoy fun activities, and cultivate a sense of wonder to rekindle positive emotions.

Leaving the Door Open for Healing:

Healing is an ongoing journey, and staying in tune with your inner child is essential.

Cultivate awareness, continue listening, offer love and compassion, and work to heal any remaining wounds.

Therapy for Inner Child Work:

Therapists can create a safe space to navigate emotional turmoil and develop strategies for healing the inner child.

Cognitive behavioural therapy may focus on present experiences, while psychodynamically oriented psychotherapy specifically addresses inner child work.

[iravaid]

Oh man, now after reading your reply all i can think about is tommy in his twenties, having reached a place where he’s been through rehab and a whole bunch of therapy and has more knowledge of autism/aspergers and a greater understanding of mental illnesses and disabilities in general after having been forced to confront his own trauma and his struggles with addiction and whatnot, etc, reflecting on his relationship with simon and their childhood and all the mistakes and baggage those memories carry, and trying to reach out and talk with simon about it all, except of course simon doesn’t want to hear it at all, because the past should remain in the past, why would you go digging up things that best remain buried and forgotten?? And if that weren’t enough to send him running for the hills, tommy’s subtle comments about the autism thing would definitely get his fight or flight instincts kicking into high gear, because, sure, he might be awkward and blunt and not great in social situations, but that’s fine, that shit doesn’t matter in the military, not when he’s this damn good at his job, and it’s not like he gives a shit about playing the politics game and climbing up the ladder until he can laze about in some cushy office chair rubbing elbows with the brass or whatever, so it’s fine, he might be fucked in the head but he’s not sick or anything, he’s not some sort of nutcase, he’s not

Augh, absolutely, there's something very interesting in the concept of Tommy ultimately ending up better adjusted (relatively) than Simon by the time both of them are adults. Especially regarding self acceptance and unpacking the ableism they were raised with. I'm going to enter headcanon delusion land because we know next to nothing about Tommy so a quick warning on that lmao, but, we ball.

Although Tommy has had this immensely rough start, struggling with addiction and the feelings on inadequacy that might arise from living in his brother's shadow all his life, he's also been given the space and counselling that equipped him with better coping skills and vocabulary to both verbalise and recognise what happened to him and Simon as kids. I like to also think that, for a myriad of reasons and a myriad of people, Tommy has made that conscious effort to heal as well, to improve and try his damndest to break the cycle of abuse (even if that effort was ultimately cut short by forces far outside his own control.).

I'm not trying to say that Simon himself is actively perpatuating it, but he's had next to no guidance regarding the navigation of his own trauma, nor mightn't he fully recognise how deeply a 'bad childhood' might have effected him. I also see Simon's joining the army as both a blessing and a curse for him, because it probably did save his life: he got away from his dad, got strong enough to cast his father out of his home and life, got enough money to support the family that mattered to him and step up to be the 'man of the house', in his eyes. But it also, predictably, created a kind of situation where Simon got caught up in this machismo echo chamber/mob mentality reinforcing the more aggressive/violent aspects of himself in this wild cycle of adrenaline and dopamine and psoitive reinforcement for a mission well done. Rinse and repeat for two decades, and there's a guy with a lot of his self worth tied up in conventional but ultimately detrimental masculine qualities; where he's possibly too proud to recognise he's actively hurting from the things that happened to him as a child, let alone reach out to anyone in order to begin processing it in a constructive way. Why should he? He's Lieutenant fucking Riley.

It's a very interesting contrast, to me, that while Simon is the one who started out the more stable of the two brothers, the script is flipped between them when Simon returns from Roba's captivity. I wonder if Tommy feels a sense of eagerness to repay the debt he feels he owes Simon, for the former taking care of him during his recovery as a teen. I wonder if Simon feels resentful for 'losing' his place as the Riley patriarch/protector/provider to his younger brother, who got married and had a son and carved a place in the community for himself, all while Simon was running from his issues on some battlefield, in turn being greviously harmed by it and now has to battle with his own recovery.

They have such capacity for very deep love, they're connected both by their brotherhood and by the immense hurt their father caused. They also hold as deep a capability for harm and anger against the other, "This is my brother and I need a shovel to love him." kind of deal. Idk, ghost of their father still lingers where the skin is thin, and their shared proximity makes it seep. lol, lmao even

Augh, but I'm rambling, the thought of Tommy trying to gently broach the subject of autism/being autistic, and Simon having that kneejerk reaction of hypervigilance, aggression, anger at being 'accused' of such a thing, man. A constant cycle of trying to reach out and rejecting and reaching out and rejecting!! If only they had more time, maybe something kinder could have happened

[blissfulalchemist]

How much does your OC's background and origin affect their approach to relationships? Are there specific insecurities or preferences that lead on from their past?

Oh it effects them a lot! Some more than others but I'm a bit of a developmental psych nerd and I love seeing how your attachment style effects you, how one tries to counter act this, or any number of influences effect how one navigates relationships and reactions to things throughout your life. You will find this with almost all my ocs that there was something that carries over that effects their relationships both platonic and romantic. There's a bit of a ramble of Sib, Demos, and my XVI girls below the cut if you're interested. But yeah the tl;dr is yes my ocs pasts and backgrounds effect how they navigate relationships because I love looking at the developmental psychology of it all!

Someone like Sib is a nice example in that she craves attention but in a very validating way to her because her parents were not giving her that validating attention. Her father was very distant and didn't seem to act like he care about her life at all, while her mother cared too much and while she paid attention to her it was invalidating as it was only really positive if she behaved how she was supposed to. Being with the Scions who acknowledge and praise her non-lady like behavior was the best feeling in the world to her! In romantic relationships she very much tries to cling and keep herself around because she has had her first love disappear on her, her brother vanished, and there were plenty of other adults and their children that would be gone suddenly because they worked for her family, the moment that Thancred seemed to show more interest than just sex she held onto it until HW. Her past effects how she even interacts with Thancred and Minfilia in ShB because she's seeing her childhood self in Minfilia and her father's behaviors in Thancred and well she's not happy about that at all, but it creates enough of a mess that Minfilia has to lock them in a room so they can work their shit out and not have her be in the middle of it. By Endwalker though she's working through it and putting the new behaviors to the proof.

Demos is someone that had very secure attachments as a child and it shows in how he's able to keep a cordial relationship with the Scions when he's not really keen on joining. But more so it shows in how he knows both his and Yugiri's feelings towards one another but can set them aside for the time being because it just isn't the right time for them to have a relationship in that way. There's a secure knowledge that when the time is right they will come together, but until then they can be independent of one another. There's trust there and a healthiness to how he sees relationships that comes from him having his needs met as a child from his parents that he's still close too. They let him have an independence but were there to guide and comfort him when it was needed. Granted there are other non-relationship things that are effected by his upbringing but that's not what we are discussing here.

For my xvi girls, Clídna had a lot of trauma related to SA and isn't very keen on touch unless she initiates it or she really trusts a person. Jill was her ward and she was still fairly young so it didn't effect their relationship until they meet up once again. With Clive, he was the one person that didn't reach out to her first, he was always polite, and very quiet, she was able to just sit with him and not be the social butterfly she was to keep herself safe, and it was just such a sense of safety that she has a very hard time sleeping more than a few hours without him. Alma on the other hand clings to the two people that (consciously) knew the least about her past because she has such a hard time acknowledging what happened to her parents and what she saw. Her family teachings in the healing arts brought her back so to speak because it gave her mind something to do and focus on because the more she sits with things the more likely she is to get stuck in her own head and spiral because she just doesn't talk about it. And while its easy enough to not say she's in a relationship with Joshua, because they both decided it was best to keep it on the way down low, it is also harder because much of Alma's love is in touch, because it was a big way that she was comforted when she was younger, so there is such a drive and restraint to not casually reach for his hand when walking or hugging him, that by the time they can be in the Hideaway together she is taking advantage of being able to do such things.

[harmonyhealinghub]

Healing Your Inner Child: A Journey Towards Emotional Wholeness

Shaina Tranquilino

October 17, 2023

As we navigate through life's challenges and responsibilities, many of us carry unresolved emotional wounds from our past. These unhealed wounds often originate from childhood experiences, shaping our beliefs, behaviours, and relationships as adults. The concept of healing your inner child offers a powerful way to address these deep-rooted issues, paving the path towards emotional wholeness and self-acceptance. In this blog post, we will explore practical steps you can take to embark on this transformative journey.

1. Acknowledge the Existence of Your Inner Child:

The first step in any healing process is acknowledging that there is an inner child within you who requires attention and care. Recognize that your younger self still exists within you, carrying all those emotions and experiences. Allow yourself to reconnect with this part of you without judgment or criticism.

2. Create a Safe Space for Self-Exploration:

Creating a safe space for self-reflection is crucial when delving into your inner child's healing process. Find a peaceful setting where you feel comfortable expressing your emotions freely. Consider journaling, meditation, or seeking professional support to help guide you through this introspective journey.

3. Identify Past Traumas and Limiting Beliefs:

Take time to reflect on your childhood experiences and identify any significant traumas or negative events that might have impacted your psyche. Explore how these incidents may have shaped your beliefs about yourself, others, and the world around you. By gaining awareness of these limiting beliefs, you can begin to challenge them effectively.

4. Practice Self-Compassion:

Healing your inner child requires showing compassion towards yourself in ways that perhaps weren't offered during your formative years. Embrace self-care practices such as nurturing activities, affirmations, forgiveness exercises (including forgiving yourself), and treating yourself with love and kindness whenever possible.

5. Reconnect with Your Inner Child:

Allow yourself to tap into the childlike wonder and innocence that resides within you. Engage in activities that evoke joy, creativity, and playfulness. Embrace hobbies or interests that once brought you happiness as a child. By nurturing this connection, you are providing your inner child with the love and attention they may have lacked.

6. Reparenting Yourself:

Reparenting involves fulfilling your own emotional needs by giving yourself the care and support you longed for during childhood. Be attentive to your feelings and emotions, validating them instead of dismissing or suppressing them. Cultivate healthy boundaries, self-discipline, and self-compassion as part of this healing process.

7. Seek Professional Support if Needed:

Sometimes, healing deep-seated wounds requires professional guidance from therapists specializing in inner child work or trauma recovery. These professionals can offer valuable insights, techniques, and tools tailored to your unique journey towards healing your inner child.

Healing your inner child is an ongoing process that requires patience, compassion, and commitment to self-discovery. By acknowledging their existence, creating a safe space for exploration, identifying past traumas and limiting beliefs, practicing self-compassion, reconnecting with your inner child, reparenting yourself, and seeking professional support when necessary – you can pave the way towards emotional wholeness and lead a more authentic life filled with love and acceptance.

[denimbex1986]

'The 2023 film, 'All of Us Strangers' enchanted festival enthusiasts. However, the absence of an Oscar nomination posed a separate challenge. Now, let's take a closer look at this film that has garnered critics' acclaim, raced from one award to another, and secured a special place in the hearts of moviegoers.

'All of Us Strangers', directed by Andrew Haigh and starring Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal, unfolds the story of a gay couple.

Adam (Andrew Scott) is a solitary television scriptwriter living an isolated life in London. Despite initially hesitating to invite his drunk neighbor Harry (Paul Mescal) into his home, Adam eventually gives in to Harry's persistence. As their relationship progresses, they navigate through various events and embark on a life together. However, Adam is eventually confronted with Harry's death, forcing him to sever ties with his reality. Throughout this process, the ghosts of his family guide him. After accepting Harry's death, Adam embraces his spirit, and they peacefully fall asleep together, lost in a beam of light accompanied by music as the screen fades to black.

Scott portrays Adam, a struggling scriptwriter inspired by his past, grappling with a screenplay as things haven't been going well for him lately.

The film initially focuses on Adam's face reflected in the windows of the flat in the twilight of London. Adam immerses himself in the music of his childhood and sifts through a box of family treasures connecting him to the distant past. However, he appears detached – in the echoing, neat but cold apartment, almost empty in a Ballardian tower block, emphasizing his loneliness.

A gentle relationship blossoms between Adam and his neighbor Harry, the only other occupant of the building.

During a research visit for a script Adam is writing, he goes to his childhood home in the suburbs of Dorking. There, he encounters his deceased parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell), who remain unchanged, unaged, exactly as they were 30 years ago when they died. Scott balances the film's supernatural elements with emotional equilibrium, and the entire cast complements him in this harmony.

As the bond between Adam and Harry strengthens into a potential future together, Adam is continually drawn to his unresolved childhood trauma of the past.

Time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds. Instead, it makes them deeper and more debilitating. Adam can't rewrite the moment his parents were killed in a car accident. However, he can recognize them not as a bullied and beaten child but as an adult gay man.

The excellent, highly sensitive screenplay is adapted from the novel "Strangers" (1987) by Japanese author Taichi Yamada.

The 2023 film is not the first adaptation of the book; the initial one was Nobuhiko Obayashi's 'The Discarnates' in 1988. However, Haigh has left his mark on the story.

The use of the real childhood home for scenes between Adam and his parents emphasizes the emotional connection between the director and the material.

There are clues in this film that connect director Haigh to his previous works: it establishes a link with his second feature, the gay romance 'Weekend.' It also shares the sense of a window to the past and the cyclical nature of time, disrupting lives with the discovery of a lost lover's body preserved in ice, as seen in '45 Years.'

On the initial viewing, we can guarantee that you won't escape the film's heart-wrenching emotional impact.

We believe that watching the film once is not enough to fully grasp it. The complexity of Emilie Levienaise-Farrouch's composed music harmoniously strengthens the film's meaning. The mastery of Jonathan Alberts' seamless editing subtly guides us through parallel timelines and simultaneous moments in Adam's life within a cityscape. In essence, we can say the film's success is a collaborative effort.'

[diamondbehavioralhealth]

The Impact of Childhood Trauma in Adults

Understanding the far-reaching effects of childhood trauma on adult life requires empathy, insight, and effective coping strategies. We acknowledge the importance of addressing past traumas to nurture holistic well-being and resilience. In this section, we delve into the enduring effects of childhood trauma on adults, examining the signs of suppressed trauma and strategies for coping and healing. Through therapy, support networks, and self-care practices, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, reclaiming their narrative and building a brighter future beyond the shadows of their past experiences.

How Childhood Trauma Shapes Adulthood

The impact of childhood trauma often extends into adulthood, affecting various aspects of life. Whether stemming from loss, neglect, abuse, or other adverse experiences in early life, these effects may surface over time. Unresolved issues buried deep within the psyche can significantly impact emotional, mental, and physical well-being.

Indicators of suppressed childhood trauma in adults may manifest as:

Challenges in forming and maintaining relationships, including trust issues, intimacy struggles, or fear of abandonment.

Low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness, shame, or guilt rooted in past traumatic experiences.

Emotional instability, such as intense mood swings, difficulty managing emotions, or recurring anxiety and depression.

Adoption of maladaptive coping mechanisms like substance abuse, self-harm, or disordered eating patterns.

Intrusive memories or flashbacks triggered by unrelated stimuli, causing distressing recollections of past trauma.

Avoidance of triggers associated with childhood trauma, leading to efforts to steer clear of certain situations, people, or places.

Physical symptoms such as chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, or headaches linked to unresolved emotional stress.

Recognizing these indicators is the initial step toward recovery from childhood trauma. Therapy, support groups, and self-care practices offer avenues to confront and process these experiences, fostering resilience and well-being in adulthood. Seeking perspectives from others with similar experiences can also be beneficial.

Navigating Childhood Trauma in Adulthood

While confronting childhood trauma in adulthood poses challenges, it also presents opportunities for growth and resilience. Acknowledging the influence of past experiences and their lingering effects is crucial. This acknowledgment often involves confronting difficult emotions, experiences, and coping mechanisms established during childhood.

Therapy provides a safe environment to explore and address these experiences, understanding how past trauma shapes relationships, beliefs, and behaviors. Building a strong support system outside of therapy offers validation, encouragement, and a sense of community.

Engaging in self-care practices like exercise, mindfulness, and creative expression aids in emotional regulation, stress reduction, and self-awareness. Despite the challenges, the journey toward recovery empowers individuals to reclaim their narratives, foster meaningful connections, and lead fulfilling lives beyond the aftermath of childhood trauma.

[t0pitium]

Navigating the Unforgiving Loneliness of Unaddressed Trauma: A Path to Healing and Connection

Life's journey is shaped by the experiences of our early years, and childhood trauma can cast a long shadow, profoundly impacting emotional well-being and adult relationships. The scars of untreated trauma can lead to persistent loneliness that feels unforgiving and isolating. In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the intricate link between unaddressed trauma and adult loneliness, exploring the reasons behind it and offering a holistic roadmap for healing and transformation.

The Complex Link between Trauma and Loneliness: Childhood trauma can manifest in various forms, from abuse and neglect to accidents that shatter a child's sense of security. These experiences reshape the brain's threat processing mechanism, leading to hypervigilance and an inability to trust others. Survivors often struggle with emotional closeness, intimacy, and trust, culminating in deep-seated loneliness fueled by a cycle of avoidance, self-destructive behavior, and fear of vulnerability.

Attachment Trauma and its Lifelong Impact: Attachment theory underscores the profound influence of early relationships on adult personality. Childhood trauma, especially from caregivers, can result in attachment trauma, impacting self-esteem, trust, and the ability to form healthy bonds. These survivors often fear intimacy and experience insecurity, perpetuating patterns of isolation. Without a foundation of healthy relationships, loneliness persists, hindering personal growth and connection.

Understanding the Core of Childhood Trauma: Childhood trauma leaves an indelible mark, rewiring the brain and altering perceptions, especially concerning relationships. Trust becomes elusive due to trauma often originating from untrustworthy adults. Absence of consistent support creates an internal struggle, affecting the ability to feel safe. The impact of trauma varies, from isolated incidents to sustained toxic environments.

Healing the Unforgiving Loneliness: A Comprehensive Guide

Seek Professional Help: Connect with a therapist specializing in trauma to navigate complex emotions. Therapy provides a safe space to explore past wounds, challenge distorted beliefs, and develop coping strategies.

Embrace Vulnerability: Overcome the fear of intimacy by taking calculated risks to connect with others. Open yourself to new relationships, guided by the understanding that not everyone will hurt you.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Adopt a growth mindset, believing in the potential for change and personal growth. Challenge fixed notions of loneliness and actively work toward building meaningful connections.

Foster Self-Love: Reclaim your self-worth by acknowledging that trauma was not your fault. Self-love and self-awareness pave the way for understanding, healing, and ultimately breaking the cycle of loneliness.

Gradual Social Reintegration: Begin with small, manageable steps toward social interaction. Reach out to friends, explore hobbies, and consider joining support groups to connect with like-minded individuals.

Mindful Self-Reflection: Engage in regular self-reflection to identify triggers, thought patterns, and behaviors stemming from traumatic experiences. Mindfulness practices offer a platform for understanding emotions, regaining control over reactions, and processing feelings.

Build a Supportive Network: Surround yourself with a compassionate support network. Cultivate relationships with friends, family, or support groups that provide empathy, validation, and a safe space to share experiences.

Rewriting Your Narrative: Work with a therapist to reinterpret your past trauma, empowering yourself and highlighting your resilience. Transform your identity from a survivor of trauma to a person who thrives, fostering a sense of purpose and connection.

The journey to healing from the isolation of unaddressed trauma requires courage, dedication, and a comprehensive approach. By embracing professional help, vulnerability, and a growth mindset, you can break free from the chains of loneliness. Mindful self-reflection, a supportive network, and rewriting your narrative further empower you on this path. As you combine these steps, you move closer to a life enriched with authentic connections, self-discovery, and a sense of purpose that transcends past pain.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: COCSA & CSA

Desperately seeking advice.

About two years ago, I started vaguely remembering some incidents from childhood in which I was sexually abused by both an adult and another child (separate incidents). It really messed me up for a while to remember but I’ve done a lot of journaling and writing to work through it a little bit and for the most part I am fine.

However, recently some more memories have started to emerge and it’s really really messing with my head. My sister is about a year and a half older than me and we used to play house a lot when we were kids. It was usually very innocent. But some fuzzy memories have made me feel extremely guilty and disgusted with myself. I was maybe 7 or 8 and going through a phase where I was heavily sexualizing things- not necessarily sexualizing myself but looking for erotic stories and images and the like- looking back now, this might’ve had to do with the things that happened to me. A few times when we played house it would get to a weird place. We never removed clothing but boundaries were definitely crossed. My memory is extremely fuzzy but to my recollection it was almost always my idea. I am now terrified and disgusted that I might have been the abuser in a COCSA situation and i can’t remember it in enough detail to make sense of it. I just feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and disgust and i want to throw up every time i think about it. our current relationship is mostly good and normal. i can’t bring this up and make things awful and weird. i have been reading up on COCSA and survivor’s stories and i don’t know what to do and i don’t know if i actually did something terrible and unforgivable.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. I'm glad to hear that journaling has been helping you process your experiences. Please know that your feelings are valid.

This situation is complex, because on one hand there is some level of responsibility and accountability to take, but it's important to remember that you were also a child and your prefrontal cortex was actively developing, which is responsible for judgment calls and decision making. So while it's appropriate to feel guilty about what happened, it's also worth understanding that you may have been too young to fully comprehend the gravity of your actions to begin with. Reaching a place where you can have some forgiveness for yourself can be a necessary first step in healing and moving forward from this experience and the feelings surrounding it.

Though your sister may not want to discuss it, you may want to consider thinking of a way you can approach discussing this with her, if you feel an apology is appropriate in this situation. Even just writing out your thoughts may provide a therapeutic catharsis for you to process your feelings.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you navigate your trauma, gain useful insights into self forgiveness, process your feelings surrounding perpetrating COCSA, and guide you along your healing journey.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[risehealingcenter]

Dating Someone With PTSD: What to Know and How to Navigate

If you are dating or in a relationship with someone who suffers from PTSD, you may be wondering how you can help or what you can expect. You already know there is much to love about your partner and that they are much more than their trauma. You also see how they are hurting and struggling. There is absolutely hope and there are effective ways to treat trauma and PTSD. Together, you can work towards more effectively managing symptoms and ultimately towards healing, so that a new sense of security and freedom can be found in the present.

PTSD is not just for war vets

Many times I have spoken to a therapy client about a PTSD or complex PTSD diagnosis fitting and been met with confusion partly because of the media tendency to exclusively depict PTSD as something that happens as a byproduct of war. In addition to experiences like rape or serious accidents, anything that someone experiences as deeply threatening can cause PTSD-like symptoms. Another working definition of trauma is too much too soon or too little for too long - when our coping skills and nervous systems are overwhelmed or we experience physical or emotional neglect.

What is traditional PTSD?

Traditional PTSD can arise from a single traumatic event or traumas that happen in a short amount of time.

What is complex PTSD?

Complex PTSD is caused by chronically experiencing traumas, oftentimes in childhood (for instance, consistently not getting physically or emotional needs met or experiencing physical or sexual abuse or ongoing bullying).

Individuals who have complex PTSD are sadly more susceptible to developing traditional PTSD later from single incident traumas, as they have less neural networks and experiences of safety internalized that can act as protective barriers.

PTSD symptoms may include

Avoidance

Your loved one is likely to avoid anything that may act as a trigger for their traumas. They may avoid talking about their traumas or any people, places, or activities that could serve as unwanted reminders. Substance use or constantly trying to stay busy and distracted can also be ways to avoid unwanted thoughts or feelings.

Intrusions

Your partner may have intrusive memories of the event, this can look like flashbacks, nightmares, or unwanted images that negatively impact their life. This could also look like somatic intrusions - where their bodies suddenly have a response that feels similarly to how they felt during the traumatic moment.

Thinking Patterns

If your partner is suffering from PTSD, they are likely to struggle with negative self-talk and a negative worldview generally. They may feel hopeless about the future. They could also struggle with memory, including not remembering many aspects of their trauma, as this can be an unconscious protective strategy. Trauma can lead to a sense of detachment from self and others and a sense of emotional numbness.

Reactivity

Someone with PTSD is likely to be easily startled, to be in a state of hyper-vigilance and on the lookout for danger. Your partner may be more irritable or quick to have an angry outburst.

All of these symptoms can be viewed through the lens of nervous system dysregulation, or being stuck in states of fight, flight, and freeze or moving between all three.

The gift of co-regulation

As a partner to someone suffering from PTSD, you have the ability to greatly help your partner through something called co-regulation. As social creatures, we look for cues of safety and danger from others, particularly from those we are most strongly attached to, typically our parents when we are kids and our romantic partners when we are adults. Helping your partner to find calm in their nervous systems through co-regulation can be incredibly healing.

Ways to co-regulate and help soothe your partner

● Use a calm, warm, and loving tone of voice

● Use gentle eye contact and smile at your partner

● Say simple and soothing statements to your partner that show you are with them to communicate safety

○ “I see you”

○ “I’m here for you”

○ “I hear you”

○ “I’m safe”

● Use reflective listening skills and validate your partner when they share with you. Ex: “So what you're saying is __________? Is that right? That must be really hard.” “Tell me more”

● Help your partner know that it is okay to have big feelings and that you can stay with them as they feel. Resisting or suppressing feelings usually only makes them bigger and more persistent. Feeling emotionally attuned to and seen can be incredibly calming. Avoid toxic positivity or minimizing your partner’s feelings.

● Use supportive touch if your partner is receptive to this. This may look like hand holding, hugging, cuddling, or back massages (check to make sure these aren’t triggers).

● Breathe slowly together as you hug or hold hands and face each other. Try and make your breaths match each other and have extra long exhales (try breathing in for 4, holding for 7, and breathing out for 8)

● Toss a ball back and forth together (this requires being in tune with one another and the repetition and focus can be soothing. This can also help someone to escape a flashback and return to the present.)

● Go on walks together

● Ask: “Is there anything you need from me right now? “How can I help?”

Learn your partner's triggers and boundaries

Communicate with your partner about what is triggering for them so that you can best support them in those moments (for instance parties where there are a lot of people). Understand if there are certain sexual or physical boundaries that could be triggering and respect any boundaries that your partner needs. Together, you may be able to soften those boundaries with exposure and with creating a new experience of safety in these moments, but this should be at the pace your partner is ready and highly collaborative. Maintain an open dialogue about what they may find helpful when triggered or when they experience flashbacks

Help to create a calm home environment

Predictability, stability, and routines can be calming and help your partner’s nervous system to feel more settled. This may mean doing rituals together, like cooking or eating together at a consistent time, having morning coffee together, or going on after work walks together. Don’t discount the impact that our senses can play in helping us to feel safe. Consider paying attention to your lighting, play calming music, light scented candles, and minimize clutter.

Putting your own oxygen mask on first

Dating and loving someone with PTSD can be hard. It is painful to know that our loved one is suffering and it can feel like a lot of pressure to fix it for them.

Know that there is only so much that you as their partner can do, especially if you are emotionally depleted or dysregulated yourself.

Take care of your own needs, work on learning self regulation skills and also confide in your partner and allow them to be a source of co-regulation for you when they are able to be. Lean on other supports in your life, like friends or family to help fill your own emotional cup up.

It may feel hard to reach your partner at times if they are numb or retreating. If could feel like you are walking on eggshells if their PTSD manifests in a quick temper. You can both have empathy and also not allow yourself to be mistreated. You may need to set your own boundaries at times - “please lower your voice, I can’t engage well with you when you're speaking like that to me. I will need to leave the room if you continue.”

You may benefit from your own therapy to help you more effectively navigate the stress and challenges that you may be facing in your relationship.

Encourage your partner to get professional trauma treatment

PTSD is serious and as much as your love can be a source of healing, your partner likely needs professional trauma treatment to truly get the relief they need from their trauma symptoms and to not spend their lives avoiding possible triggers.

As trauma lives in the nervous system and body, therapies that are body-based and not only cognitive are needed for PTSD treatment. EMDR is a gold standard treatment for trauma. Other modalities and approaches that can be highly effective, especially when incorporated with EMDR, include parts work, attachment-based therapy (particularly for childhood trauma), and somatic approaches. Therapy that incorporates mindfulness, acceptance of feelings, as well as calming exercises (like breathing strategies) are also helpful.

At Rise Healing Center, we incorporate all of these modalities and approaches, as we aim to treat trauma in the most effective way possible. If your partner lives in California, consider having them book a free consultation call to see if our practice might be a good fit for them.

[stucktounstoppable]

The #1 Key To Overcoming Trauma & Transforming Your Relationships TODAY with Sheleana Aiyana

In this transformative episode of BUILD, I sit down with the renowned author and spiritual mentor, Sheleana Aiyana, for an incredibly deep and personal conversation. Together, we explore the profound themes of healing, relationships, and the intricate dynamics between the masculine and feminine energies.

What We Cover:

- The Hidden Depths of Relationships: Discover how adult romantic relationships often become a mirror for unresolved childhood wounds. Aiyana unpacks why we unconsciously seek closure from our past through our present relationships and what it truly means to heal these patterns.

- Navigating Triggers and Trauma: Aiyana shares her wisdom on understanding trauma, whether it's from childhood, past relationships, or the subconscious, and how it affects how we show up in love. Stephen opens up about his own struggles with abandonment wounds, making this conversation both relatable and revelatory for anyone working through similar experiences.

- Attachment Styles and Their Impact: The duo discusses the powerful interplay of attachment styles in relationships—how anxious and avoidant dynamics play out and what strategies can be used to navigate these challenges. If you’ve ever found yourself in a "hailstorm and turtle" scenario in your relationship, this is the conversation you need to hear.

- Healing is a Lifelong Journey: Aiyana reminds us that healing is an ongoing process. She shares her personal insights into how the journey can feel like navigating different seasons, with moments of darkness and light, and how to maintain hope and connection through it all.

- Practical Tools for Inner Work: Aiyana doesn't just offer philosophical insights; she also provides practical tools to help listeners on their healing journey, from inner child meditations to using nature as a grounding force for deep emotional work.

Whether you're seeking tools to improve your relationship or working through your own healing process, this conversation will leave you with a renewed sense of hope and clarity.

Follow Sheleana on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sheleanaaiyana/

Get a copy of Sheleana's new book - https://courses.risingwoman.com/btobook

Check out this episode!

[sugarlandpsycholo1]

Compassionate and Experienced Houston Psychologists and Therapists at Sugar Land Psychological Assoc

Mental health is a crucial aspect of overall well-being, yet it's often overlooked. Many people face challenges such as anxiety, depression, trauma, and relationship issues, but finding the right support can be overwhelming. For residents in the Houston area, Sugar Land Psychological Associates is a trusted and compassionate resource, providing experienced psychologists and therapists to address a wide range of mental health concerns.

Understanding the Importance of Mental Health

Mental health plays an integral role in every stage of life, from childhood through adulthood. It affects how we think, feel, and act in everyday situations. Mental health also determines how we handle stress, relate to others, and make decisions. Yet, despite its importance, mental health issues can often go unnoticed, leading to more significant problems down the road.

At Sugar Land Medication Management Psychological Associates, the team understands the complexities of mental health and is dedicated to offering personalized care to help individuals overcome their struggles. Whether dealing with stress from work, family issues, or more serious mental health conditions, their team of experienced professionals is ready to provide the support and guidance needed.

Compassionate Care Tailored to Your Needs

One of the key aspects that sets Sugar Land Psychological Associates apart is their commitment to providing compassionate care tailored to each individual’s unique needs. The team of licensed psychologists and therapists understands that no two people are alike, and therefore, treatment plans must be personalized to ensure the best outcomes.

Their services range from individual therapy to couples and family therapy, catering to a wide range of issues such as:

Anxiety and Depression: Anxiety and depression are among the most common mental health issues that individuals face today. The therapists at Sugar Land Psychological Associates are skilled in evidence-based treatments such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques to help clients manage and overcome these conditions.

Trauma and PTSD: Experiencing trauma can have long-lasting effects on an individual’s mental health. Whether it's the result of abuse, a serious accident, or other life-altering events, the experienced therapists are trained in trauma-focused therapies to help individuals heal and regain control over their lives.

Relationship and Marriage Counseling: Relationships are a vital part of life, but they can also be a source of stress and conflict. The therapists at Sugar Land Psychological Associates offer couples and marriage counseling to help partners improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their emotional bond.

Child and Adolescent Therapy: Mental health issues are not limited to adults. Children and adolescents often face their own set of challenges, from school-related stress to emotional and behavioral difficulties. The team at Sugar Land Psychological Associates is equipped to work with younger clients, helping them navigate their developmental stages in a healthy and supportive environment.

Experienced and Licensed Therapists

The team at Sugar Land Psychological Associates is composed of highly qualified professionals with years of experience in the field of psychology and therapy. Each therapist is licensed and trained in various therapeutic approaches, ensuring that clients receive the most effective treatment for their specific needs. The therapists not only possess strong academic backgrounds but also bring a compassionate, empathetic approach to every session, making clients feel comfortable and understood.

A Safe and Confidential Environment

Seeking help for mental health concerns can be daunting, but Sugar Land Psychological Associates provides a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space for clients to explore their thoughts and feelings. Privacy is a top priority, and clients can trust that their sessions will remain completely confidential. The welcoming and supportive environment helps ease any anxiety about seeking therapy, allowing individuals to focus on their healing and growth.

Flexible and Accessible Therapy Options

Understanding that life can be hectic, Sugar Land Psychological Associates offers flexible therapy options to meet the needs of their clients. In addition to in-person sessions, they also offer virtual therapy appointments, making it easier for individuals to access the care they need from the comfort of their own home. This is particularly beneficial for those with busy schedules or for individuals who may feel more comfortable starting therapy in a virtual setting.

Moreover, the practice accepts a wide range of insurance plans, making their services more accessible to a broader population. This commitment to affordability ensures that everyone has the opportunity to prioritize their mental health, regardless of financial circumstances.

Why Choose Sugar Land Psychological Associates?

Choosing the right therapist is a significant decision, and Sugar Land Psychological Associates stands out as a trusted provider of mental health services in the Houston area. Their combination of experience, compassion, and a client-centered approach makes them an ideal choice for those seeking support in navigating life’s challenges.

By working with a therapist at Sugar Land Psychological Associates, clients can expect:

Personalized care tailored to their individual needs.

A supportive and non-judgmental environment to explore their concerns.

Access to experienced therapists trained in the latest evidence-based practices.

Flexible scheduling and virtual therapy options for added convenience.

A focus on long-term mental health and well-being, ensuring that clients are equipped with the tools and strategies needed for a healthier, happier life.

 

Mental health should never take a back seat, and finding the right support can make all the difference. For those in the Houston area, Sugar Land Individual Therapy Psychological Associates offers a team of compassionate, experienced psychologists and therapists dedicated to improving the mental health and well-being of their clients. Whether dealing with anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, or trauma, their professionals are ready to help. Prioritize your mental health today by visiting sugarlandpsychologicalassociates.com. Your mental health is their top priority.

[iravaid]

I love your writing so much, your Simon Riley in Situations series is probably one of my favorite works in the entire fandom!!! The way you write tommy and simon’s relationship gives me so much emotions lol, like even though it only comes up a couple times in the entire series there’s just so much there! That flashback we get in in the desert was just a brief glimpse, and yet it was so much more powerful than how they were written in the entire canon comic (which might not be saying much because that comic left a lot to be desired, but still) It had me imagining their relationship as kids, and how tommy probably had a much easier time navigating their dad’s moods while simon struggled to pick up the social cues and unspoken meanings behind words and stuff like that, and how tommy, as a kid growing up in a pretty ableist society who had probably never even heard of autism until his teen years, would probably get frustrated with simon and not understand why he couldn’t just say the right things when he needed to, why he couldn’t just do what he needed to do to not make the situation worse (and simon feeling the same way and wondering why he couldn’t just know how to smile and say what people wanted to hear, like tommy) (This ended up being long and rambling but your fics just give me so many riley brothers feels lol XD)

Oh shit!! Thank you so much!!!! I'm so happy you enjoy this series, especially the relationship between Tommy and Simon!! It's genuinely so interesting to me and has a lot of potential to be built upon, considering how little there is for them in the comics (both a blessing and a curse let's be honest).

Augh, yeah, them as kids has a lot of emotional oomph, especially if taken the way I have, in all essentialities, taken the characters in my grubby mitts and gotten lint all over them. Tommy probably was the golden child in this family, Nigel played a lot of games in tormenting his kids, and I imagine turning them against each other, or at the very least Tommy against Simon, was one of them. I wonder if that dynamic might have changed when Simon left, leaving Tommy to be the only child in the house and no longer having a 'weird' older brother occupying the role of scapegoat (and protector, in his own way). In the beginning, I can see Tommy hating Simon for leaving, it's easier than hating his abusive dad at this point.

Things do change for the better, and in all honesties I can see Tommy getting therapy/counselling as an adult and learning how to become better adjusted and look back on his childhood with a trauma-informed lense, equipped with a kind of knowledge and vocabulary Simon doesn't/refuses to have. Internalied ableism definitely informs how they process their trauma and percieve therapy, and for Simon this is another brick in that wall after growing up the 'strange' one in the family that just doesn't get it. This is another thing he doesn't get, and it's a source of anger for him.

I imagine there is a lot of frustration for Tommy in the things you mentioned above, which is a dynamic I love love love, considering Autistic Simon growing up in Manchester in the 80s/90s at this point would be. A Lot for both of them, for different reasons. I imagine it would serve to emphasise that feeling of isolation Simon feels in this series, and I would go so far as to say Tommy doesn't hear the word 'autism' until he's an adult/in his 20s. Before then it was always alluded to, or people saying 'he's rather... odd.' about Simon with a strange expression on their faces. Autism and Asperger's (it's an outdated term now, but one that was used then) were very stigmatised and you were seen as there was something wrong with you or you were 'slow'.

God but their potential brotherhood when Simon comes back and kicks Nigel out of the house, and helps Tommy heal. I really love the complexity of their relationship, how two brothers who survived an awful childhood have different ways of coping and healing from it. Again, all in our collective heads, but I'm happy the comics only gave us the bare bones to play with. We'll grow our own meat, with blackjack and hookers.

I really want to write/am in the process of writing a fic set in Tommy's POV, waiting for his brother, beginning from Simon being announced missing after he's caught by Roba, to him being found and returned home, and ending just before That Scene. I want to explore their brotherhood through Tommy's eyes, how disparate some parts of them are and how similar others have ended up, as well as play on a theme Ghost haunting the family well before Simon is returned and believes himself dead. I'm unsure how it'll end up, but the goal is a 20k oneshot. Hopin to work on it in earnest in August, when Art Fight is over :D

Again! Thank you so much for this message! Had a big grin reading this, I'm so happy you liked those fics! Hell yeah!

[shorif-02]

Your Innate Essence: Elaine Glass on Self-Discovery, Healing, and Balancing Empathy and Self-Care

Embracing Your Innate Essence: Elaine Glass on Self-Discovery, Healing, and Balancing Empathy and Self-Care | Season 3 Episode 338 Have you ever wondered how tuning into your true essence can transform your life? In this powerful episode, we welcome Master Life Coach Elaine Glass, who shares her lifelong journey of listening and helping others, from her childhood playground to her current role as a life coach. Elaine introduces us to the concept of "beingness" and emphasizes the critical importance of recognizing and nurturing this innate essence despite the noise of the external world. Through her own life experiences, Elaine illustrates how connecting with our true selves can help heal wounds and navigate the complexities of empathic sensitivities. Elaine and I candidly explore the emotional and psychological challenges of prioritizing self-care, especially in the face of severe trauma, health issues, and societal pressures. We discuss setting boundaries, overcoming feelings of guilt and abandonment, and the transformative power of rest and quiet. This episode highlights real-life stories, including a cancer survivor’s journey, to illustrate how shedding burdens and embracing love can lead to a lighter, more joyful existence. Our conversation emphasizes the need for self-love and honest communication, breaking the silence surrounding abuse, and balancing giving with receiving to maintain one's health and soul. Finally, we dive into the necessity of empathy, non-judgment, and self-acceptance in personal growth. Reflecting on my own experiences and those of our guests, we underscore that true healing happens when we prioritize our well-being. From understanding the impact of childhood abuse on adult relationships to breaking generational sacrifices through self-healing, this episode is a heartfelt exploration of reclaiming power through self-discovery. Tune in to learn how embracing stillness and listening to our inner voice can lead to profound personal insights and transformative growth.

[kcyars99]

Diddy's Twin Daughters Face Heartbreaking Reality Following Allegations, Video

Twins Jessie and D'Lila undoubtedly shoulder the burden of the scrutiny that their infamous father is enduring.

For 17-year-old twins Jessie and D’Lila Combs, 17, their father Sean “Diddy” Combs has been more than a Hip-Hop mogul — he’s a hero. But that heroic image began to shatter last November when Diddy’s ex, Cassie Ventura, made devastating allegations in her abuse lawsuit against the self-proclaimed “Bad Boy.” 

The documents detailed years of abuse, including sexual assault. Diddy’s team swiftly settled the lawsuit, but the damage to his public persona was irreparable. 

Suggested Reading

Some of the rapper/producer’s most vocal critics reacted to the news of his homes being raided by Homeland Security.

On May 17, CNN leaked hotel surveillance video showing Diddy violently assaulting Cassie in 2016. The footage further intensified public scrutiny on the Combs’ family; over 50 individuals have come forward with allegations against Diddy, highlighting a long history of misogynoir, violence, and exploitation that has potentially been part of Jessie and D’Lila’s world for years.

As the world fixates on Diddy’s actions and their implications, it’s crucial to also consider the profound impact these revelations are having on his seven children — three of whom are young Black women -- and particularly from someone who frequently presents himself as a proud family man.

As public outrage intensified, Black Twitterhas been abuzz with reactions, dissecting a growing list of allegations and the implications on Diddy’s legacy. Horrifying realities about a beloved parent are devastating for any child, but Jessie and D’Lila’s pain is likely compounded by the loss of their mother, Kim Porter, who passed away in 2018. As they’ve spent the past six years grieving the loss of one parent, the emotional fallout here is particularly heart-wrenching.

The twins’ close bond with their father, whom they celebrated as a “real king” on his 51st birthday, makes Diddy’s misconduct even more difficult to reconcile. Their recent prom photos on Instagram hint at a need to grasp normalcy amid the chaos. Yet, as the legal ramifications for their father escalate, with a federal grand jury in the works, the emotional burden on his daughters only grows. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, trauma researcher and author of the renowned book “The Body Keeps the Score” — which details the lasting effects of suffering on the body and mind) — emphasizes the need for supportive relationships in the healing process: “Children can’t learn to modulate their emotions and behaviors unless the adults around them have the capacity to remain focused [on their wellbeing],” he wrote. 

While Diddy has publicly apologized, many believe it’s too little, too late. For Jessie and D’Lila, this only adds to the challenges of being in the public eye while bearing their pain silently. Unearthing dark family secrets can be disturbingly traumatic — particularly so for young Black women — and increases the risk of developing depression, anxiety and other mental health concerns. Gaylie Walker, who details the impact of her own father’s sins on TikTok, wrote, “Distinguishing between the hero we see in our parents and the monster society may portray them as is incredibly difficult for a child; it’s often easier to continue seeing our parents as we need them to be.”

Dr. Jessica Kinchen, Director of the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, noted, “Trauma robs children of their childhood, but it doesn’t have to go on robbing them of their future.”

The reality of Diddy’s violence against Black women, including their mother, would add even more complexity as they try to navigate a world where their dad’s public persona collides with his private life. Amid the chaos of his long overdue accountability, it’s difficult to ignore the impact Diddy’s actions are having on his children. We can only hope that Jessie and D’Lila have the love and support they need.

As we follow this heartbreaking story, it’s crucial to remember these events have a real impact on real lives, especially so for young adults.

If you or someone you know is dealing with abuse or trauma, there are support organizations available—like RAINN and the National Child Traumatic Stress Network—that provide help and resources.

Sent from my iPhone

[sahida45]

Breaking Chains of Emotional Addiction: Bizzie Gold's Guide to Purpose and Liberation | S 3 Ep 321

repare to embark on a journey with Bizzie Gold, the visionary behind Break Method, as we peel back the layers of emotional addiction and the life-altering quest for purpose. In a world where past traumas silently script our future, we uncover the powerful influence of childhood experiences and discuss the potential of breaking free from the chains of generational patterns. My own perspective on choosing a life without children intersects with Bizzie's insights, offering a mosaic of viewpoints on legacy, healing, and the pursuit of a life that resonates with one’s true self. We navigate the complex terrain of early emotional development, scrutinizing the cycle of responses from fear to anger, and how they shape our adult relationships. The discussion dives into the challenging concept of embracing our entire selves, questioning if this includes the darker facets of our personalities, and the role of labels and negative self-talk inherited from our younger years. Bizzie Gold's alternative approach through Break Method offers a beacon of hope, demonstrating that transformative change is achievable without the exhaustion of reliving the past.