#He's a doped up chef

[successions3]

can't believe I'm fucking a blonde guy with blue eyes... if I'm on here in a months time crying bout him breaking my heart after I caught him fucking someone else cause we didn't define the relationship... Tell me to kill myself

[happeehippie]

instagram. j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his wife evie as they go through is football career.

*face claim is yasmin quintana*

series masterlist.

evie

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_, and 780,726 others

evie: “holding hands is like touching souls” 🤍

view all 5,729 comments…

user: how are we supposed to just live with this

user: i’m so jealous

joeyb_9: my girl. 😚

> evie: always always always.

user: do you think he knows she just posts him for attention?

> user: do you think he will ever see this comment? probably not.

user: i’m feeling extremely single right now.

lahjay10_: y’all be holding hands like crazy

> evie: we locked for life. 🤍🔒

user: wait this is actually so sweet, imagine how many pics she has of them just holding hands. she’s so down bad.

joeyb_9

liked by evie, lahjay10_ and 304,837 others

joeyb_9: Green Goblin

view all 2,681 comments…

user: Great football Joe!

user: SHIESTYYYYYY

millyg: joey tell ev to text me back.

user: green like that bank account baby

user: that’s hot

evie: 🥦🥒🍏🫛🫑🥑

> joeyb_9: you gotta calm down.

user: QB is always sharp

evie

liked by bengals, joeyb_9, and 990,864 others

evie: out here

view all 1,863 comments…

user: tell jb to pop a perc and get back out there

> evie: kind of a tactless comment my guy, he’d be out there if he was able.

user: man screwed my fantasy team

> evie: yeah forget your fantasy team, it wasn’t his fault.

user: brave woman

joeyb_9: jacket=dope

user: chefs kiss

user: go bengals!

millyg: i love to see you this happy 💗💗

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 709,950 others

joeyb_9: Just another stage on the journey of life

view all 11,306 comments…

user: praying for you my boy

nfl: 🙏🏼

evie: keep your head up baby, i love you.

> joeyb_9: couldn’t do it without you

joemainmixon: We got you brother!

user: the “he’s back” post next season is going to go crazy

user: get better soon lover

lahjay10_: the comeback will be legendary

user: revenge tour for real next year

cjstroud: 🙏🏾

user: joey take my wrist, i don’t need it.

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 91,736 others

evie: another gamedey in jungle. if you’re not in cincy you stink!

view all 7,728 comments…

user: still going to games??

> evie: ofc. those are my boys!

millyg: my little sweet pea

> evie: 🫛

user: my mom loves you (me too btw)

> evie: i luv ur mom. 😁💗

user: love to see you smiling

user: how is jb?

> evie: inspiring. 💗

joeyb_9: i like you.

> evie: omg thanks for sharing. i like you 2. 🤩🤪

joeyb_9

liked by lahjay10_, evie, and 852,100 others

joeyb_9: Learn to love discomfort

view all 5,793 comments…

lahjay10_: haha i just know you uncomfortable sitting like that. that’s what you mean by the caption?

> evie: lmao ur goofy

user: let’s go jb6

user: biggest qb in the league

user: happy birthday joe we love you!

evie: criss cross applesauce???

> joeyb_9: it’s called indian style. 🙄

> evie: is that what the big kids are calling it??

> user: ev is on his ass

user: it doesn’t go unnoticed you being on the sidelines for your teammates

user: are you and ev going to celebrate your special day?

> evie: we don’t skip bdays around here. even if you have a major surgery..

user: happy birthday king joe!

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 890,110 others

evie: bits and pieces

view all 3,611 comments…

user: wishing you and joe a lovely off season and smooth recovery

> evie: 💗💗💗

user: you’ll be back killing it next season! i can’t wait

user: okay, the teddy shirt? CUTE!

> evie: one of my favs

user: always giving us a peek at jb

> user: it’s funny how ev used to be the only one that called him jb and now it’s become one of his many nicknames.

user: going to be missing you this off season.

joeyb_9: puddle pic is 10/10 cuteness

> evie: 🥹💗

joeyb_9

liked nfl, bengals, and 891,028 others

joeyb_9: Sorry for the missed time. Return of the Jedi

view all 10,112 comments…

user: i hope my gf doesn’t see this post

user: miss u

user: see you next year daddy joe

evie: joe you can’t just post this on a monday morning with no warning.

> user: ev saying what we are all thinking

> joeyb_9: oh, i don’t know the rules. i thought this was my account.

> evie: smart. ass.

user: BURROW REVENGE ARC

user: can’t wait to see you back!

evies stories

* last part for now. 😢 *

if you want me to pick this back up once the season starts, give this a big ❤️ hehehe.

[ciaomarie]

Waiting on my AO3 invite. Here's a one shot Sydcarmy story. Canon compliant. Post season 2. Please excuse the grammar/spelling mistakes. I need season 3 to get here quickly!

Title: Won't You Be My Neighbor

It was her break and for the 89th time in the last three days Sydney reassessed the apartments within 15 minutes walking distance from The Bear. As CDC she no longer wanted to depend on the train should there be some kind of accident, strike, or weather event. There were three that she could afford on her own and many more options if she were willing to become a roommate. She wasn't. If inspiration for a recipe struck her at 2am she wanted to get up and cook if she wanted. She loved the freedom of walking around naked after a shower, picking out her clothes or getting a snack. Most of all she missed turning up her music and dancing like an inflatable tube man in private.

She had sent a message to each leasing office to schedule an appointment next Monday and two of the three had confirmed a 10a and 11a showing. It had been more than 48 hours since she messaged the third so she called. The leasing agent informed her that the specific unit she wanted was no longer available, but they had a gorgeous 2 bedroom for $3800 a month if she was interested. "Okay, now that's just two options" Sydney muttered after getting off the phone.

"Hey mija, what you looking at?" Tina asked sitting down to eat lunch.

"Just apartments. I finally have the funds to move" Sydney answered with a sigh.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy to be getting out on your own?"

"Oh, yeah for sure. It's just I'm really picky"

"Well, it doesn't have to be forever. Just make sure to read the reviews. You don't want roaches or bed bugs".

"Oh, I can't stand bugs! My dad still has to kill them for me, but I better get a fly swatter and spray now that I'll be on my own soon."

Break was over and Sydney stood up to resume her duties. First she needed to talk to Natalie about the upcoming private party. A celebrity had reserved the entire restaurant next Thursday evening. The names of all staff members on duty that night had to be submitted ahead of time with signed NDAs. It was all happening so fast and The Bear's debt was likely to be paid less than a year after opening. First there had been a Grio article about her being a rising black chef. That led to Keith Lee, the TikTok restaurant reviewer, raving about his to-go order that included the T-Bone and the Michael cannoli. It went viral and suddenly, they were booked for the next three months with a waiting list. She was working harder than ever, getting paid pretty well, and she deserved a place of her own.

After talking to Natalie, she found Carmy working on her prep.

"Hey, thanks! I can take over that now if you want"

"Actually….it's done. I wanted to take you somewhere for like 30 minutes" he said finishing up and cleaning the station.

Sydney folded her arms, her eyebrows raised high.

"Okay, where are we going?"

"I know you've been looking for a place and I think know the perfect apartment for you. Just a 10 minute walk from here. The landlord gave me the key so I could show you today" Carmy said trying to sound casual, but a deep pink flush rose in his cheeks.

"Why is he being weird?" Sydney thought but simply said "Okay, that's dope."

The Chicago air was soft and warm, the clean sunlight making everything look new. Summer afternoons like this made you forgive the brutal winters here. Carmy directed Sydney when to turn left and right, but refused to tell her where exactly they were going. Soon they were standing in front of his building.

The reason for his weirdness was now perfectly clear to Sydney and she felt so flattered that she had to avoid looking at Carmy when she said "So, there's an open unit in your building?"

"Uh, yeah. The people who lived just above me moved and I, uh, thought you might want to see it".

The apartment was on the fourth floor. Carmy unlocked the door and let Sydney go in first. The walls were freshly painted in "Cloud White" and the oak hardwood floors creaked comfortably under their feet. The layout was the same as Carmy's apartment with plenty of windows to let in natural light and a shockingly large kitchen for a 1 bedroom place in Chicago. As Sydney inspected the appliances and bathroom, she decided that if the rent was going to eat up even half of her check it was worth it. She had always admired Carmy's spacious apartment and with her sense of style she could make hers, a cozy bohemian oasis filled with plants, wall art, and actual furniture (eventually).

Carmy had let her roam around in silence for a few minutes, muttering and emitting tiny sounds of joy to herself. When she met him in the living room again, he said trying not to grin too widely, "If you like it, it's already yours."

"How? I know places like this are snatched up fast" Sydney said her eyes finally able to meet his again.

"The landlords, they're a couple, and their 20th wedding anniversary is coming up. They want reservations at The Bear." Carmy explained, desperately hoping to sound nonchalant about it.

"Oh, that's nice work, Carmy."

Then Sydney squealed and cried "This is just what I wanted!!" and she flung her arms around his shoulders in a wild hug. Carmy commanded his body not to shudder as he hugged her back. She was just wearing a t-shirt and without her usual layers of clothing he felt her delicate frame, her slim shoulder blades imprinting on his fingers.

In a moment Sydney pulled back shly and let her arms fall to her sides, her face burning. She made a mental note: Hugging Carmy. Not a safe activity for those who want to cook along side him using sharp objects or sleep peacefully at night dreaming innocent thoughts.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!" Sydney said taking another step back and making another turn around the room.

Carmy nodded and concentrated on not melting into the floorboards.

"You're okay with this? We already spend 60+ hours together at the restaurant every week and now I'd be in your building! And literally living on top of you."

"Yeah, well, I want you to. You deserve everything you want, Syd."

"Then I'll take it! Just a warning though. If you hear someone belting out Kpop and an occasional thud, that's just my weekly one woman concert, which will be over no later than 10pm. I'm not being murdered."

Carm was no longer unable to contain the width of his smile. This girl is so cute, his body physically ached. How would he get through service tonight?

With a happy shake of his head, he replied, "Thank you, for the heads up!"

With that Sydney marched towards the door and exclaimed "Take me to your landlord!"

Carmy floated behind her.

Cue: Maxwell's "Whenever, Wherever, Whatever"

[anistarrose]

after years of living with the twins barry actually picks up a lot about baking but remains a terrible cook, and after years of living with the twins kravitz actually picks up a lot about cooking, but still can't bake to save his life. i feel this in my soul.

barry can make lup proud by effortlessly knocking out a perfect pastry dough because he goes at it with scientific precision, accounting for the humidity of the kitchen and everything. but if he has to make a full course and has anything less than lab procedure-level detail in the instructions, he will panic and most likely set something in the kitchen on fire.

kravitz, on the other hand, cooks entirely based on vibes and deviates from the recipe on a whim. which does mean he can whip up a dope sauce for tonight's pasta or what have you, but if he tries to bake he always winds up with just the driest, most pathetic cakes. together the two of them make up one (1) competent chef in the kitchen

[strawburry01]

That's Not Me

Summary: Reader and Angus listen to your record collection and bond over music and parent problems (it's not very deep)

word count: 2k

Authors Note: this is actually the first stuff I've ever put on tumblr and I've currently been working on this as I'm insanely doped up on wisdom teeth painkillers so sorry if it reads weird. I'm trying to start writing more in general n shit so you have any weirdly niche or specific scenarios or desires pls just shout em out (i see you, you're valid). ALSO: Walk with me here, you're telling me Angus Tully wouldn't be a big fan of the Beach Boys? I know this sad ass mfer would eat Pet Sounds up. It's a short album, do yourself a favor n listen to it (or at least check out the songs I took the blrubs from for this) cause it's some GOOD STUFF. That's all.

You stood over the lone dresser in your room. Your prized possession of a small record player balanced precariously on top of it with your stack of records spread out across the rest of the top. You’d been collecting records even since your first year at St. Mary’s, despite the rules against it that the sisters there tried to enforce at every opportunity.

But they had left you here, alone, at Barton so it’s not like they could complain about it now. Nobody was even here besides you, that odd Professor Hunham, the sweet chef Mary, and that Angus Tully boy. It had been a few days since the rest of the boys had been picked up in a helicopter, leaving the four of you to the echoing halls of the empty school. 

You plucked the new Fleetwood Mac album out of your pile and slipped it onto the turntable before placing the needle gently down onto the black vinyl. Stevie Nick’s smooth vocals began to tinny out of the small record as you tapped your foot to the song as you continued to rifle through your stack of records. 

Your parents had left you to stay at St. Mary’s for break as they were stuck on some business venture in Germany. A pro of these trips, they funded your buying habits in exchange for your passive agreement when it came to these sorts of holidays. You missed the days when you were so young they had to just drag you along everywhere they went. You felt like a real family then. Now it just felt like you were a burden to them- another person for them to give their money to. 

“Where’d you get that?” a voice asked from the doorway, startling you out of your thoughts. You quickly swing to the doorway, still gripping the empty sleeve of Fleetwood Mac. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, it was just the lanky figure of Angus, eyeing you with his arms folded. 

“Ever heard of knocking, ya’ prick?” you said, rolling your eyes as you turned back to the music.

“Where’d you get the record player?” he asked again, taking a step into the room. You shrug, keeping your focus on the records and not Angus deciding to invite himself in.

“I stole it from the confiscation closet at St. Mary’s”.

“Really?” he said in shock, almost impressed.

“No, of course I bought it you weirdo” you laughed. He looked much less impressed. “I bought the record player with my own money from working at the pool over the summer, but my parents have given me money for most of these records” you explain, gesturing to the stack. Angus took a spot right next to you, his air of cigarettes and old book pages wafting by you. He stands silently as he begins looking at each record. For him previously having taken every chance for a smart-ass comment at your expense, his silence was a welcome change. For a few minutes the two of you just stood, side by side, flipping over albums and making hums of approval.

“You have Pet Sounds!” Angus said, perking up, as he picked up The Beach Boys album. You can’t help but look over at him. The corners of his mouth are actually pricked up for once, like he’s actually happy.

“You like the Beach Boys?” you asked. He glances over in your direction with his big brown eyes with an incredulous eyebrow raised, in disbelief you would question such things. You can’t help but feel your stomach flip. Honestly how dare someone so annoying be graced with such eyes.

“Why wouldn’t I? They’re really good” he said as he turned back to the album, “d’ya think you can play it?” he asked as he handed it over. You take the album and slide the vinyl out as you place it onto the tabletop. Angus takes a seat at the foot of your bed, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets.

“Make yourself at home” you sarcastically said as you started the record, before leaning against the dresser, facing the bed. He laughs.

“Such a generous host” he quips as Wouldn’t it Be Nice starts playing from the album. The song seems to zone him out as he stares into the wall behind you, gently nodding along to the music. 

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long

“What are you still doing up?” you ask, breaking him out of his trance. It was almost midnight, and Hunham would certainly kill you both if he caught wind of you two conspiring. 

“What are you still doing up?” Angus retorted, “it’s not very St. Mary’s of you to be up late listening to such devilish music” he mocked, waggling his fingers in the air for effect. You can’t help but laugh. He loved acting like your hijinks were an act against God ever since you’d been moved over for the break, all just because you went to St. Mary’s. 

“Oh please, the sisters have started praying for my ears because I listen to anything with a guitar,” you say as you swat at him. “They found my single Johnny Cash album and made me clean the dishes for a week to learn…something”. Angus snorted at that and shook his head as the next song faded in from the speakers.

“How have you not gotten kicked out yet?” he asked, “it seems like you just hate it there”. You half heartedly shrug and sit on the corner of the bed he isn’t occupying, your legs graze each other before he quickly moves it closer to his side. You’d be lying if you said your breath didn’t catch in your throat a little. It was a weird experience- being stuck in such close quarters with someone for about a week now. You had both started throwing crumpled up notes to each other during the mandatory class/detention time Hunham prescribed to you both. Most of the notes were just complaining about the situation, how cold it was, how bad Hunham smelled, how hungry you were, how much you wished you were both anywhere else. You drew Angus back a beautiful stick-figure masterpiece of the two of you laying on a beach, although he got pretty mad at how dramatically messy you’d made his hair.

 He would never admit it, but he kept it and used it as a bookmark. 

“I do hate it, but my parents have moved heaven ‘n hell to keep me there, so I’ve kind of just given up on getting out” you said as you looked down at your feet, swinging back and forth above the floor. He silently nodded, sitting with it for a moment before adding.

“My parents are just waiting for me to mess up so they can send me away” he said quietly, suddenly having a vulnerable air about him. He’d never brought this up before to you. Sure he was a bit of a prick, but he didn’t deserve to get sent off to another school just for being annoying sometimes. He balled his fist in an anxious tic on his knee, and before you can stop yourself, your hand is on top of his fist to try and calm him, or be there for him, or just show him he’s not alone, or maybe you did just secretly want to hold his hand, somewhere deep down.

“It’ll be okay” you respond back, softly. You both freeze at your hand resting on top of his. Everything goes silent except Brian Wilson’s voice coming from the record.

Being here with you feels so right, We could live forever tonight, Let's not think about tomorrow

He slowly unfurls his fist and gently begins to entwine his fingers with yours, his hands are warm, and vaguely shaky, like he’s ready for you to pull away at a moment's notice and act like this was all him imagining it. You wait a second before you gently lean your head onto his shoulder, the scent of cigarettes strong from his jacket, and you can hear him inhale sharply before realizing you’re not leaving. 

“You don’t have to pity me y’know. I’m an asshole to everyone, I get what I deserve”

“Shut up Angus”

“Okay” he said with a small laugh as he absentmindedly moved his thumb back and forth on your hand for a while before breaking the silence, “d’ya want to, uhm,-” he says before tripping on his words and going silent again. You can’t help but laugh at him getting stuck on his words, truly a first for him. You nudge your head so you’re looking up at him from his shoulder. He stares intently ahead, as if avoiding your eyes. 

“Want to what? Kiss? Do I really have you this nervous?” you tease him which draws a quick reaction from him. He glares down at you before his face softens and he looks away again. 

“So what if you did” he scoffs and suddenly stands, letting your hand go as he heads to the door. 

“Angus wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that-” you say, starting to apologize and follow after him as you stand up. The record skips with an unfortunate scratch before continuing to play. You grab the cuff of his jacket before he can leave.

They say I got brains but they ain't doing me no good, I wish they could

“Angus wait-” you say as you try to pull him back. He turns and suddenly your face is in his hands and his lips are on yours. Before you can react he pulls back and lets you go, leaving him standing in front of you, waiting for your move. 

“I’m going now” he says before turning again to leave the room, acting as if he didn’t just kiss you. You slide by him and slam the door in front of him before he can actually leave. Your back props the door shut as you face him, holding out an accusatory finger.

“No- you’re not just going to kiss me and leave and act like you didn’t just do that” you say, feigning some sense of authority as you look up at him, your finger in his face. His lips twinge upwards again before he goes serious again.

“Should I not have?” he asks, “you were the one who put the idea in my head” he said with a smirk. You jab your accusatory finger closer to his face as you try not to knee him in the crotch right then and there. 

You open your mouth to reply, but before any noise can come out there’s a knock on the door.

“Miss? Everything alright in there?” Hunham asks from the other side of the door. While you stare at Angus in petrified horror for the next few minutes, he can’t help but look rather satisfied with himself. 

“Oh everything’s just fine professor, thanks for your concern!” you answer back, faking a cheerful tone as your eyes never leave Angus’s face, who is failing to conceal his laughing behind his hand, watching you struggle to maintain your cool.

“Mr. Tully doesn’t happen to be in there with you, is he? I noticed his room was empty,” Hunham adds through the door. You stare at Angus’s dumb smirk on his face, scrunched to the side of his face, with his stupid brown eyes looking down at you with a mix of attraction, humor, and misfortune. You grab his jacket collar and pull his face to your level, before swiftly kissing him with the fervor only someone knowing how much trouble they’ll be in for doing so could have. You quickly let go of his jacket and swiftly nudge him back before looking his speechless figure up and down and swinging open the door. 

You fake a large toothy smile for Hunham as you hold your hands in front of you, mustering up any energy you had left for the performance of a lifetime.

“Just showing him my record collection sir. I didn’t realize the Barton boys had such a passion for the music arts” you say, looking over at Angus from over your shoulder to see if he was going to be any help in this. He of course wasn’t and just stayed quiet as he brushed past you to the hallway with Hunham.

“A lovely collection” he murmured in the hallway as he finally made eye contact with you from behind Hunham who shakes his head and sighs.

“I wish you two wouldn’t be slamming doors at midnight, but the music arts is an exciting and important endeavor. Off to bed though, say your goodnights,” he said, as he elbowed Angus, certainly not letting the two of them alone again.

“Night” Angus tells you with his smirk, putting his hands back into his pockets. 

“Goodnight Angus, perhaps we can continue our conversation later tomorrow” you say, leaning against the doorframe with your own smirk looking back at him. Hunham tuts Angus back down the hall but not before he quickly winks at you, and you can only laugh at it all.

[tegu-the-tegu]

Flavoured Artificer Concepts

Artificer is by FAR my favourite class in Dungeons and Dragons, primarily for how customisable they can be with regards to their flavour; because of the ability to cast through any tools you are proficient in, it gives a LOT of range to how your magic works. As such, I will put some ideas I have had to build unique Artificers.

An Artillerist that uses woodworking to carve totems; they are flavoured as a tribal shaman that summons the spirits of magical creatures to aid in battle. Their flamethrower turret conjures a dragon spirit to burn their foes, their protector turret calls the spirit of a unicorn to protect the virtuous, and their ballista invokes a manticore spirit to pepper distant foes with spikes. Their other spells can also be flavoured this way, such as Thunderwave being flavoured as an Aerosaur spirit emerging from a totem and flapping its wings to blow enemies away!

A Battlesmith that uses leatherworking to create a horrific stitched Frankenstein's monster for their steel defender. Every time they kill things, they skin the corpses to repair their hideous flesh monster. Or, if you prefer, you could stick with the shamanistic theme from the Artillerist entry, and use leatherworking to maintain the pelt of the first wolf you killed; its spirit inhabits that pelt, and defends you to this day!

An Alchemist that uses chef's tools to create supernaturally delicious food that cures illnesses and grants supernatural abilities. I have actually played this, he used brewers supplies to create caustic acidic drinks, had peppers so hot that it made your breath ignite to cast fire spells, and he would spray sticky toffee over the area for web. He would make food puns, and was named Guido Fiero.

An Armorer that uses jeweller's tools to create bling that imbues them with magical powers. A circlet that grants a force field, a ring that shoots lightning, a pair of bracelets that create thunderous shockwaves when brought together. Then, when you hit level 9, you can have distinct infusion tied to each one! A circlet or diadem or whatever for head armour, necklace for chest armour, anklets for boots, and bracelets or rings for the weapon! Perfect for a wealthy nobleman artificer who wants to broadcast their glamorous lifestyle.

There are loads of other things you can do with each tool proficiency, and it's a shame that the class is so easily pigeonholed into "The Tech Class". Not to say I don't like the gnomish tinker that creates fantastical and crazy gizmos to mimic magical effects. Hell, my character in the campaign I'm not DMing is exactly that, an autognome (Flavoured to look like a normal gnome in the face, so they appear normal when wearing their clothes) that woke up one day in a tinker's lab next to his deceased creator, and then left to try and find a purpose in the world. He has an insect motif, so all of his spells and things are flavoured as small clockwork insects he makes.

But the point is, while that's a staple of the Artificer class fantasy, there are loads of other ideas to flavour it! A calligrapher that writes arcane runes in the air, a potter with a terracotta soldier for a steel defender, a weaver that knits arcane circles, a painter whose drawings become magical effects, a glassblower whose glass figurines come to life, I can't think of one for cartographer's tools, but I bet there is a dope idea in there somewhere!

Even as I mentioned before with leatherworking, you can have the exact same class, the exact same subclass, and the exact same tool, and STILL have wildly different flavour! One is Doctor Frankenstein, the other is a mystical shaman with a spirit guide!

Anyway, that's today's rambling. I would also do a thing on subclasses the Artificer could have, given they only have four, but that's a whole other rant. Besides, this is already a thesis.

[russian-spider]

I rewatched Richie and Tiff's scene from "fishes" today (the one they have in Donna's bedroom), after binging the show recently, and I realized I had overlooked something, because there was so much going on and it was exhausting. Something about Carmy. Richie and Tiff talk about him, how he made sprite for her, but instead of praising him, they just keep saying he's weird and why would you try to get him to date Claire when she's so nice. And even though I wish Richie had said something good about Carmy, I don't hold it against him because that's what their relationship was like then and we know how much he loves him. But I feel like, from the start, I had been taking Richie's side, in a way, because he was so funny and interesting to watch, he was this loser looking for a purpose and I could not not root for him. I was rooting for Carmy too, but when we met him he's already a big time chef, he's made it in the world, we know he's talented and successful and too good for the Beef. He's this man who Richie has known since forever that's younger than him but has achieved so much more and is now his boss, how can Richie not feel shitty about it? So, I watched the show hoping Richie would earn Carmy's respect, get some self-esteem back. But I think I got it wrong. I think he already had Carmy's respect, but Carmy didn't had his.

I believe that, when you grow up around someone, no matter how many years pass, you will always be who you were to them, and no matter how much you change, you will always regress a little when you're with them, back to that old dynamic. The Carmy we met is not the one Richie knows. His Carmy is shy and bad with people, lonely and artsy and different. He's Mikey's baby brother, always following him around and trying to get his attention. Always on the defensive, because they do give him a hard time (assholes). He's young, he's short, he's… weird (as if they're all so normal!) And Carmy's Richie is not this middle aged divorced man with nowhere to go. He's someone that became part of his family because Mikey of all people loved him so much. He was his best friend, his right hand man at the restaurant, always part of his stories. I believe when Carmy said "I always thought my brother was my best friend, except everybody thought he was their best friend" he was thinking of Richie specifically. How could he not be hurt by that? Richie had what Carmy wanted, and he could have simply hated him, but he saw his good qualities, the ones he was lacking ("he believes in you, he said you're good with people") He never rejected Richie the way he did Pete, for example. And it's different but it's the same because Pete's an outsider who became part of the family through (Natalie's) love, but they don't like him (which I think it's super unfair btw).

And what I didn't realize at first was that Carmy was also looking for Richie's approval, not just Mikey's. That's why when Richie judges him and calls him Donna in the finale it hurts him so much, not because how dares this loser lecture him, but because his opinion matters. He screams about how Richie is nothing without him and how much Richie needs him as a defense mechanism, because he's so afraid of not being needed by the people he loves and he needs Richie too (of course it makes him furious when Richie says it). Even in the first episode he's like "how fucking dope is that, cousin?" like did you see what I did? did you see how I brought all these clients to the restaurant? He insults him, but he listens to him, asks for his help, cares what he thinks. Meanwhile Richie scofs at Carmy's achievements, partly because they make him feel less than, and partly because this is Carmy, so how impressive can this really be? Just some pretentious shit he learned from people as pretentious and weird as him. Until "forks". Until he finds purpose in a place where Carmy is so respected that there's a picture of him framed. And later Richie tells him "I get it" and I thought 'how nice he finally understands what Carmy is trying to do and how they want the same thing now' but it's so much more than that. He finally gets the importance of what Carmy has done, how difficult it was, how amazing he is. For the first time he saw Carmy from the outside, not like the kid he knew but like we the audience see him, and understood. Maybe that helped with his self-esteem also, because having Carmy as his boss doesn't mean he's a loser, it means he works with the best.

Anyway, I hope at some point we get to see Richie defending Carmy when he hears someone talk shit about him, or just talk proudly about him to someone, maybe even to Tiff, to show his growth.

And I know Richie said "you're all I've got" and Carmy said nothing back and I felt so bad for Richie, but Carmy's just not used to that, he doesn't know how to react, because that is -was- not how they talk to each other. But he's trying so hard to not be shitty and to be there for the others while his mind is screaming at him that he's a failure and needs to give up joy if he wants to feel like he has value, because his self worth is so tied to his job that he'd choose it over love... Idk I think it's very important not only that Richie loves him, but that he values and respects him, because these are two very different things and Carmy isn't used to getting that from him. Mikey never told Carmy "good job" like he wanted so badly to hear, but Richie could.

[lesbiandarvey]

lets rank suits 2011-2019 seasons like theyre taylor swift albums. i think my ranking is season 5, 6, 1, 8, 4, 3, 2, 7. i havent seen s9 yet but im guessing id put it over s7 lol

season 5 is the best it just is i think my favorite episode ever is tick tock (harvey breaking down in donnas apartment saying "its my goddamn fault...... might jsut be my favorite moment in the whole show) plus it has 5x10 faith and the tension of will mike go to prison? and the trial

season 6 mike in prison arc my beloved. plus 6x12 the painting harvey mommy issues episode!!

season 1 so fun so cute theyre all young and the show is still that fun monster of the week format they had in the early seasons

season 8 im not done with yet BUT i love it!!!!! i really really like the addition of alex and samantha

season 4 loved the fucked up love square between mike and rachel and logan and harvey. and 4x15 intent CRAZYASS episode! "you know i love you donna" OHHHH

season 3 bookended by my one of my favorite opener + finale pair ... it starts with harvey yelling about mike betraying him and ends with mike screaming in an interrogation room hed never give harvey up .... chefs kiss

season 2 tbh i dont remember much if anything that happened in s2 but i remember thinking the show hit a bit of a sophomore slump. but 2x10 high noon obviously iconic episode!

season 7 was boring . did anything happen in s7. OHHHHHH but donna kissed harvey cus he was with paula that made me shake and cry and go what the fuccccccckkkkk that was dope

[nolita-fairytale]

still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto | chapter three: saturday

summary: you, syd, marcus, and carmy celebrate a job well done. carmy finally relaxes, while you catch up with old friends. you and carmy talk about your future.

warnings: swearing, no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language.

word count: 4.7k

listen to: wake me - bleachers | love you for a longtime - maggie rogers | perfume - del water gap | miss simone - sara bareilles | (playlist here)

read: chapter two

(banner by @allthefandomstogether)

Saturday

The sun glares too brightly for it to be early morning, as Carmy begins opening his eyes. It dawns on him that this is the first night in the last few weeks he’s slept through. After blinking his eyes open a few times, he wraps his arms around your waist, curling his body around yours, only to close his eyes again as he drags his lips, softly across your skin. 

“Morning,” you say sleepily, your lips curling into a smile as you feel his touch. 

You’ve been up for a bit, but haven’t been ready to start the day. You’re enjoying the stillness too much now that most of the chaos is finally behind you. 

“Morning, sweetheart,” he says, leaving a soft kiss on your cheek. He presses the tip of his nose against the side of your face, before burying his face in your neck. 

You snuggle up to him, enjoying this change of pace. It feels good – having the luxury to sleep in. You had, after all, stayed up till two in the morning last night, taking a trip down memory lane. 

“How’d you sleep?” you ask, as Carmy breathes you in. 

God he loves the way you smell, the way you feel against him. 

“Good,” he mumbles. “What time is it?” 

There’s no panic in the way he asks you for the time and it may be the first time in a long time that he doesn’t feel hurried. 

You hum in response, reaching for the side table where your phone sits. He protests, letting out a dissatisfied groan as you move away from him. He’s unhappy with the thought of getting out of bed, but before he knows it, you’re sliding back into place, satisfying him once again as you curl your body into his.

“Shit,” you say, as soon as you see the time. “It’s almost eleven.”

“Fuck it,” he says back defiantly, earning a giggle from you. 

It’s not like you have anywhere to be till later this evening – till the James Beard Foundation’s reception they’re hosting as a job well done for last night’s event. 

You enter your passcode, as soon as you see the message notifications from Syd and Marcus, all time stamped from various hours ago.

Sydney: WE ARE HUNGRY. 

Marcus: Heading down for breakfast. You guys up?

Carmy hugs you closer to him with no intention of letting you go. He wouldn’t dream of getting out of this bed. He can hear his phone alerts going off at the same time, from both of your phones,, as the three of you blow up your shared group text. The sound of the pings only further his agitation, making him want to sink into this mattress and never leave.

You: We’re just waking up. Stayed up too late last night. 

Sydney: Ew. 

Marcus: Yeah didn’t need to know that, chef.

You: Get your heads out of the gutter!! Not like that. 

You follow up your text with an eye roll emoji. 

You smile as you Syd sends back a ‘side eye’ emoji. 

Marcus: Ok we just ate breakfast. Heading to check out The Strand and explore the neighborhood some and get a good cup of coffee.

The next text Marcus sends is just a dumpling emoji and question mark, reminding you of the promises you made last night. 

“Baby.”

“Hm?”

You hurriedly type a message, noticing Carmy’s growing impatience with the notifications. 

You: We’ll rally by 1 pm.

Marcus: Dope. 

Syd: Heard.

You: Have fun!!

Carmy groans, taking the phone from your hands and throwing it somewhere onto the floor on his side of the bed. 

“Carmen!” you protest with a giggle, finally turning your body so that you’re laying on your side to face him.

“No more phone,” he grumbles, as he returns to you, pulling you in closer to him, your bodies now chest to chest. 

You smile, leaving a small kiss on the tip of his nose.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah,” he admits, against his wishes. “But I just wanna stay here for a little longer. Before we have to get up.” 

“Let’s order room service then. Stay in this bed till we have to meet up with Syd and Marcus,” you suggest, knowing he’ll like your offer.  

“Fuck yes,” Carmy groans, happily. 

“My girl thinks of all the best things.”

You love it when he calls you his girl, the term of endearment bringing a warmth to your soul you never knew you needed. 

“It’s why you love me.”

He hums in response. 

It is one of the many reasons he loves you. 

“It is.”

“Carmy?” you say. 

“Hm?”

“I love being your girl.”

He smiles. 

“I love you, sweetheart.”

*

You spend the afternoon with Carmy, Syd, and Marcus, and you’re relieved to discover that it feels like everyone’s taken a breath. The four of you take the subway down to Chinatown, letting yourselves explore while consuming as many pork dumplings as humanly possible. It’s a completely different pace than the last two days. You’ve all slowed down a little – you’re letting yourselves enjoy the city more – and it feels damn good to be home. 

It’s an afternoon well spent. You part ways till it’s time to rally one last time at the James Beard House for the celebratory reception. It’s one last big push for your social battery, and you’re surprised that Carmy hasn’t tried to get out of it yet. Between the big announcement from last night, the media people that will be there, and all of the networking that goes on at these things, he’s just resigned himself to pushing through it with you. 

You spot him across the room, practically backed up against the wall with a glass of champagne in hand that he’s holding onto for dear life. Your friends have cornered him in what looks like a love-fest that’s caught him completely off guard. 

“Carmy, everything was… fantastic,” Liz compliments, mid-conversation with your boyfriend. 

“And it’s so good to see you!” Maya adds as she joins the conversation. She gives Carmy a big squeeze and he looks a little surprised. 

“Beautiful job last night. Liz is right. Everything was incredible and congratulations on the expansion,” Maya continues. 

“Yeah, thank you for coming. It means a lot,” Carmy replies. 

They exchange over a few different topics and Carmy tries his best to be the conversationalist that he’s never felt he was. He digs deep for it, knowing that these are two important people in your life. He feels more comfortable asking questions than answering them and with Liz, it’s a little easier considering they have shared experiences. 

How’s the new restaurant gig? Did you ever figure out that one dish? Did they ever fire that one guy that everyone hated working with?

And with Maya it’s more: How’s the new baby? I hear you were working for a new brand as their creative director. How’s the promotion been?

It’s not that he doesn’t love your friends – it’s that conversing with them one-on-one feels like an enormous pressure no matter how much you swear they love him. Carmy is relieved to see you approaching, as you make your way towards where your friends have cornered him. 

“Hey, I hope you guys don’t mind me stealing this one away,” you say, giving Carmy the out he so desperately needs. 

“Of course not.” 

Carmy shoots you a ‘thank you’ glance, and you take his hand in his, leading him away. 

“Please do not leave me alone at this party again,” he mumbles to you. 

“I won’t,” you reassure him. “But there is someone I want to introduce you to.” 

He sighs, and you can tell he’s at the end of his rope. 

“One more?”

“One more.”

You lead him over to a friend of yours that he’s seen you talking to at the bar: a darker skinned man in glasses, the hair on top of his head braided down to the nape of his neck. 

“Carmy, I want you to meet my friend, Gregory. Gregory has a restaurant out in Portland and was at the dinner last night,” you say as you introduce him to Carmy. 

“Carmy, it’s such a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you from this one,” Gregory says, warmly. 

“Thanks for coming, man,” Carmy replies, humbly. 

“Gregory and I spent the summer at JBF chef bootcamp together,” you continue, hoping it rings a bell in Carmy’s head. 

“Oh yeah,” Carmy says, his eyes lighting up as soon as he realizes that he’s that Gregory. “It’s great to meet you too.”

“I feel like you’ve been doing a lot of TV lately,” you say to Gregory, hoping to spark some conversation. 

“Yeah. It’s been a great way to keep the momentum going for the restaurant, you know? Uh… you guys ever think of it?” he asks, earning a funny look from you and Carmy.

“Oh no,” Carmy says, practically shuddering at the idea. “No, that is a thing of my literal nightmares.” He gestures towards you, shyly as he continues, and he’s so glad he has you as a social crutch in settings like these. “Besides, if we ever did… it’d be more her thing. Or- or Syd’s maybe.”

“And I just started a new job so,” you add in.

“Oh, where are you at now?” Gregory asks curiously.

“Sustainable food system start up. I’m their culinary education director.”

“Oh shit! Congratulations. That’s like… the perfect thing for you,” he says. 

“Totally. I was ready for a little more consistency and uh, it’s kinda nice with one of us workin’ the whole 9 to 5 thing,'' you reply, with a smile. 

“Well, I’ve got to get going. But it was great to meet you, Carmy,” Gregory says, excusing himself from the conversation. He turns his attention to you, a kind look in his eyes. “Always a pleasure catching up.”

You watch as Gregory exits, and you can see the envious look in Carmy’s eyes. 

“You’re ready to go,” you state. 

“I- if you wanna stay, I can-.”

“No, no. I can see it on your face, Bear,” you interrupt him, giving his hand a tight squeeze. “I’m ready to go too. So… let’s get out of here.”

He nods in response, relieved that you picked up on it. He’d be willing to stay if you’d wanted to stay, and he’s so glad that you’re ready to go. 

You know him so well.

Carmy turns to you, lowering his voice as he asks:

“Think uh… you wanna head back to the hotel… take advantage of the tub while we still can?”

“Sir, are you trying to pick me up?” you ask back, playfully. 

“You’re ridiculous,” he chuckles in your ear. Carmy leans in once again, his voice huskier than before as you feel his hand on the small of your back, pulling you closer against him. 

“And yeah. I am.”

With a wicked smile on your face, you agree to his request, more than willing to head back to the hotel and get naked as soon as possible. In classic you-and-Carmy fashion, you find Syd and Marcus, before Irish Goodbye-ing the rest of the party. The five minute walk back to the hotel feels longer, as you can feel both of your social batteries have reached their lowest point after a full weekend. 

You cannot wait to get to the end of your night, as you both stand in the elevator, but it seems your plans will have to wait a little longer. You and Carmy aren’t the only ones in the elevator. There’s a man with his young son and you sigh impatiently as the kid continues to push each and every button for ever floor. 

“No! Not that one!” the father warns, as the kid’s little hands over the ‘emergency stop’ button. The kid turns to him and his father beckons him back over. He shoots you an apologetic look. 

“So sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say, trying your best not to sound too annoyed.

The elevator continues to make unnecessary stops, thanks to the child’s antics, as both you and Carmy become increasingly more frustrated. Maybe you’d have the patience if you weren’t at the end of your rope either, but at this point, your feet hurt from the heels you’re wearing, and you cannot wait to take them off. 

Finally, the elevator reaches the man’s floor. He and his child exit the elevator, before turning to you as the doors remain open. He looks to Carmy as his son takes off in the other direction, trying to race his father back to their hotel room. 

“Thank you again for you and your wife’s patience,” he says politely, as he stands a few feet outside of the elevator, trying his best to placate the two of you. 

“Sure,” Carmy mumbles, unconvincingly. 

“I gotta-,” the man says, nodding towards his child, as the elevator doors begin to close. 

You can hardly wait till the doors are fully closed before letting out a laugh at Carmy’s lack of effort. The elevator begins to move again and thankfully there’s only one more stop: yours. It’s quiet, save for the sounds of the elevator moving, when you finally say something. 

“Carmy.”

“What?”

“You didn’t even try to fake it!”

“You didn’t say anything!”

You laugh again, and he scoffs, unable to hide his distaste for the interaction. 

With a shrug he defends himself with, “I’ll like our kids.”

To your delight, the elevator reaches your floor, and as the doors open, it feels like freedom. You follow Carmy down the hallway and to your room, practically flinging the door open and letting out a sigh of relief that you’ve both made it through the evening. Carmy’s flicking on a few lights while you beeline straight to the bathroom so that you can get to the naked and tub part of the evening as quickly as possible.

He’s absolutely right that you should take advantage of the ridiculously large bathtub before you go home tomorrow. 

By the time the tub fills, you’ve already queued up a great playlist, as you and Carmy navigate your setup for the night. You're situated differently this time: your backs resting on opposite sides of the tub, your feet are on the inside, closest to the wall, while his rest on the outside of you, closest to the edge of the tub. 

Carmy is quiet. And it’s not like you’re expecting to have a conversation like last night’s, especially since you’re both drained from three days of social interactions in a row. But there’s something different about tonight’s silence – he’s more pensive than normal –  and you can practically see the gears turning in his head as you go to ask:

“What’s on your mind, babe?”

He waits a beat, the sound of your voice taking him out of his mind and back into reality. 

“I just uh…” he starts, wondering if you’ll think he’s gone mad before he admits, “...can’t stop thinking about what that guy said.”

“What guy?” you inquire. 

“In the elevator,” Carmy replies. 

You shoot him a funny look, because you have no idea what he’s talking about. It’s certainly not the answer you expected either. 

“You know. That he assumed we were married,” Carmy clarifies, his face pink. You’re not sure if it’s from the hot water or the thoughts swimming around in his head. 

“Okay… he’s a… stranger. He was probably too busy keeping his kid in line to be looking for a ring on my finger,” you reply. 

Truthfully, you hadn’t given it much thought at all, and the fact that Carmy’s so hung up on it surprises you.

“I know but…” he trails off, looking away from you for a second. He shrugs, a blush running across his cheeks before asking, “Do you… even want to get married?”

You’re not sure where this is coming from as you stammer out, “I-, uh-, I wouldn’t mind being married to you,” the surprise in your voice evident. 

“That’s great,” he says sarcastically, in regards to your lack of enthusiasm. 

“No! I-, I’m sorry. You kinda just… caught me by surprise is all,” you apologize, seeing the disappointment on his face. You sit up a little, reaching for one of his hands. “Actually, I would give up any and all feminism up right now in order to become Mrs. Carmen Berzatto.” 

You’re only being playful and he shakes his head with, “Yo I’m being serious,” the slightest smile threatening the corners of his mouth. 

“Baby I don’t know if using the word “yo’ counts as an initiator for a serious conversation,” you chuckle. 

“Fuck,” he sighs. 

But he does like the sound of it: Mrs. Carmen Berzatto, and he’s not willing to give up on this conversation just yet. He thinks back to when Natalie called you her sister-in-law, and he wonders why he hadn’t brought this up months ago. 

He waits a beat, before finally saying:

“Let’s get married.”

The words fall out of his mouth with the same kind of casualness he’d use when suggesting you pick up Thai food for dinner on your walk home from the restaurant.

“Okay, Bear,” you agree, easing your way back to your previous position in the tub. You press your back against the wall once more, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to sink a little deeper.

You wait for him to say something. Anything. You almost think he’ll take it back, or tell you he’s joking, because you’re not sure he’s even being serious in the first place. It’s such a casual request for a not-so-casual thing that there’s no way he could….

But he doesn’t say anything, and his silence is more than alarming. Your eyes snap open as you begin to sit up a little taller once again. 

“Carmy, what do you-. I mean, are you being serious?” you ask, your voice softer this time. 

He thinks about it for a second before answering with, “Yeah.”

Your heart is pounding in your chest as you lean towards him, “Like right now? Are you-, like, proposing right now?” 

“Well I don’t have a ring,” he begins, apologetically, which isn’t entirely true. 

He has a ring. But he hadn’t brought it with him to New York thinking there’s no way he’d do it here. Because what if it had gotten lost in transit, or stolen on the subway, so he’d given it to Richie to hold onto while you were out of town. 

“...But yeah. Why not? Let’s get married,” he repeats himself.

And this time, you’re sure he’s serious, leaving you, once again, speechless. 

“Okay, hold on,” you stammer, in sheer and utter shock that this is happening. “Uh… let’s think this through.” 

“Uh oh,” he teases, taking the upper hand. 

“Oh shut up. We haven’t even talked about marriage yet, Carm! I-. There are lots of things we should… you know, discuss,” you explain, justifying your surprise. 

“Like what?” he asks, unconvinced. 

You think about it for a minute. 

“Well for starters… I don’t want to have a huge wedding,” you admit. 

“No. Definitely not,” he agrees, with a sigh of relief. 

It’s not either of your styles. Thank God.

“Something small… maybe?” you suggest, hopeful. 

“Like at the courthouse?” he says. 

“Yeah,” you agree with a smile. “Though I think I’d like to have some sort of celebration after. For all of our friends and family, you know? Even if it’s just like… a dinner or something.”

“Yeah,” Carmy confirms. “That uh-, that sounds nice.”

“And no, you can’t cater it, nor will it be at the restaurant,” you state, making sure that’s clear before he even has the idea.

“I never said-,” Carmy begins to protest.

“But you were thinking it!”

He lets out a short laugh, shaking his head, because you know him too well. 

“Do we invite your mom?” you ask, hesitantly. 

He shoots you a look – the kind of look that says ‘you’ve got to be kidding me.’

“Carmy, she’s going to want to be there,” you insist. 

You know they don’t have the best relationship, but you know it would be wrong not to. 

“Do we have to?”

“I… think so.”

“Fine. But Mom gets invited to the after party. That’s it,” he negotiates firmly. 

“Yeah, okay,” you agree. 

You’re glad that’s settled. 

“Should I get you a ring?” he asks you. He doesn’t want to spoil the surprise – that he already has a ring for you. And since the conversation seems so practical, he takes it as an opportunity to set you up for a surprise. 

It’s not like you’ve pulled a few over on him in the past few years. No, definitely not.

“I mean, probably eventually,” you reply plainly. “But the ring’s not what’s important to me.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll take you over a ring any day, babe.”

He smiles, unsure of how he got so lucky. 

“Should I get you one?” you ask, since you’re on the topic. 

“What?”

“A ring.”

“Oh,” Carmy sounds, a little surprised by the question. He thinks about it for a second. There was no harm in skipping straight to wearing wedding bands, was there? 

“Maybe just one of those bands made out of silicone… you know. That I can wear in the restaurant.”

“Sounds like something I can work with,” you smile, nodding your head with a sense of accomplishment. 

“So it’s settled then. We’re getting married,” you state casually. It’s almost so casual that it’s painful as you giggle. 

“Yeah,” he answers with a stupid, lovesick grin on his face. 

“Should we shake on it?” you ask, and you’re only half-joking.

He shakes his head, grabbing your hands and pulling you closer to him in the bath tub, “How did I end up with such a silly fiance?”

Fiance. 

It’s the first time you’re hearing it out loud, and you like the way the word sounds coming from him. 

“And no, we will not be shaking on it,” Carmy continues, leaning in towards you as he sits up straight. “I can think of a lot more things we could do to consummate this decision.”

You raise an eyebrow, giggling as you lean in towards him, moving slowly through the water.

“In that case, I would love for you to show me,” you say, your voice soft as your lips are mere inches away from his. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

read: chapter four

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos

[natsuki-bakery]

⁎˚ ఎ ICP Agere ໒ ˚⁎

Could you do Shaggy 2 Dope cg headcanons? ( Loved your other icp cg headcanoms btw! )

•Shaggy 2 Dope might not follow traditional caregiving rules, but his loyalty is unmatched. He’s the type of caregiver who shows affection in his own way, like surprising you with your favorite snacks, giving you his jacket when you’re cold, or making jokes when you’re feeling down. He may not always have the right words, but he always makes you laugh when you need it

•Coming from a rough background, Shaggy 2 Dope has developed a sense of street smarts and survival instincts. He’s extremely protective of those he cares about. If someone messes with you, he’ll handle it with his signature attitude, making sure nobody disrespects his loved ones. Expect a "you mess with them, you mess with me" attitude

•Shaggy finds comfort in the weirdest things, and he’d share that with you as a caregiver. Instead of the typical calm, soothing environment, he’d think a night full of horror movies and junk food is the perfect way to help you unwind. Whether it’s cheesy slasher flicks or cult horror classics, his idea of a good time is embracing the chaos and making the dark seem fun

•As part of the Insane Clown Posse, he’s all about humor and not taking things too seriously. When you’re feeling down, he’ll go all out with clownish antics, bad jokes, over-the-top pranks, and ridiculous costumes—to make you smile. He knows life gets hard, but he’s all about showing you how to embrace the absurdity of it all and laugh through the madness

•In the world of ICP, family isn’t just blood—it’s the Juggalos. Shaggy 2 Dope sees anyone he cares for as part of his extended Juggalo family. He might bring you to Juggalo events or the Gathering of the Juggalos, believing in a strong sense of belonging and community. He’ll make sure you feel included, no matter how unconventional the gathering is

•Shaggy’s idea of cooking for you as a caregiver would be unique. He might not be a gourmet chef, but he’ll whip up a meal with whatever’s around, think ramen noodles mixed with weird snacks or a sandwich made from unconventional ingredients. It’s not about the taste; it’s about the effort and sharing that moment with you

•As someone deeply connected to horrorcore, Shaggy uses dark humor to cope with life’s difficulties. He’ll joke about grim topics but in a way that feels strangely comforting, helping you to see the lighter side of even the most challenging situations. His jokes may be outrageous or morbid, but they come from a place of care, helping you laugh through the pain

•Shaggy is the type of caregiver who’d get you out of the house for late-night drives or adventures when you need to clear your head. He believes in shaking things up when life gets too heavy, so whether it’s going to an all-night diner or exploring creepy urban legends, he’s all about taking you out of your worries and into a spontaneous experiences

•As someone who channels his own feelings through music and performance, Shaggy would encourage you to express yourself creatively. Whether it’s writing, painting, or making music, he’d want you to let your emotions out in whatever wild, chaotic way feels right to you. He’d remind you that life is messy, and art can be a way to embrace that chaos

•Shaggy isn’t afraid to give you some tough love when you need it. He’ll be the one to call you out if you’re not taking care of yourself or letting things slide too much. However, his tough love comes from a place of deep care, and he’ll always be there to help pick you back up after. He’ll push you to be strong but will never abandon you when you’re down

•A signature aspect of Shaggy 2 Dope and ICP’s identity is their love of Faygo, those inexpensive soda they spray at concerts. As a caregiver, he’d always bring a bottle of Faygo to cheer you up, believing that it’s not about the price of things, but the fun and joy behind them. Whether it’s cracking open a bottle or spraying it during an impromptu celebration, he’s all about making the simple things in life fun

•With his background in professional wrestling, Shaggy might suggest something physical as a way to blow off steam. He could take you to a backyard wrestling match or playfully wrestle with you, teaching you moves to make you feel strong and empowered. It’s his unique way of saying that sometimes, you need to fight back against stress—literally

•Crying Age Regressor : Shaggy’s first reaction would probably be a bit awkward or panicked since he’s not used to emotional vulnerability. He might say something like, "Whoa, whoa, what’s this now? No tears on my watch!" But once he gets past the initial shock, he’d quickly switch gears, using humor to lighten the mood. Expect him to pull funny faces, do a goofy clown act, or tell ridiculous jokes to try to make you laugh

•After his humor routine, he’d get more serious. Shaggy’s got a strong protective instinct, so he’d sit down with you and make sure you know you’re safe. He’d offer his jacket or wrap you up in a blanket, saying something like, "No need to cry, lil homie. You got me lookin’ out for you"

•He might grab something random like a bottle of Faygo, a stuffed animal, or even suggest watching cartoons to distract you from whatever’s causing the tears. "Let’s forget all that noise and watch some shows, okay sweetheart ?"

•Shaggy might not be the most naturally patient guy, but he’s no stranger to chaos. When you start throwing a tantrum, he’d let you vent for a bit, arms crossed, waiting it out. Once things escalate, though, he’d step in, not getting angry but being direct. "Aight, lil dude, what’s all this about ? Talk to me, don’t throw stuff..."

•He’d pull out his signature move of clownish behavior. If you’re throwing things or yelling, he might grab an item and start juggling, purposely dropping things to make you laugh and break the tension. "See? Ain’t no need to be mad when you got a world-class clown in the house !"

•Once you’ve calmed down, he’d get down to your level, ask you what’s really going on, and listen. His tough-love attitude would show through, with something like, "We ain’t gotta be all mad and stuff, y’know ? If something’s wrong, you gotta tell me. We’ll handle it together !"

•If you refuse to sleep : Shaggy would probably try to make it into a game first. "If you go to sleep right now, I’ll let you pick out whatever candy you want tomorrow. Deal ?" He’d also throw in a bit of humor : "Besides, you need your beauty sleep, or you’ll wake up lookin’ like Violent J !"

•If that doesn’t work, he’d switch to storytelling. But don’t expect a normal bedtime story. Instead of fairytales, he’d tell ridiculous, made-up horror stories that are so over-the-top they become funny. "So, there was this clown who went into the woods, and guess what he found ? A fridge...full of Faygo !" He’d keep going until you were laughing or too tired to stay awake

•Deep down, Shaggy’s a softie, so if you’re really resisting sleep, he might sit next to you and just be a comforting presence. "Aight, I’ll stay here ‘til you crash. But you better fall asleep, or I’mma start singin’ ICP songs, and nobody wants that !" He might even hum a goofy, off-tune lullaby to help you relax

If you're in the basic criteria , are DSMP fans, vivziep0p fans , h0tel/h3lluva b0ss fans, Owl h0use fans, St4r butterfly fans, Ghibli fans, ddlg/abdl blogs, nsfw/k!nk blogs, anti-agere blogs, or anti Christians/Christianity blogs : just dont interact !

[kikithegr8]

which 3 litg islanders are the most your type on paper?

Thank you for asking the question! I’m so used to just being opinionated and sharing when no one actually asked it’s nice to know that someone in Tumblrland is actually curious about what I think. 😆

This is actually really tough…sooo many options, then do I go off of me in real life, my alter ego, or my past boyfriends?

I actually had to google “type on paper”. You know how a term is used so much you forget the original meaning? Anyway, so someone that ticks all your boxes but might not be your type in person once you meet them.

What I can say without a doubt is that Shawn S8 is my #1 type on paper, off paper, in the margins, on the backside of the paper. He checks every last box. If they had a build-a-man store next to the build-a-bear store this is what I’d come up with. He’s gorgeous. I’m currently with Lyle and think Henri is real cute, but when I saw Shawn next to them I was like Shawn is that guy. Plus the way to this woman’s heart (and unfortunately these big ol’ thighs) is through my stomach, plus he doesn’t like drama, is generally unproblematic and a munch so what more could I ask for? 😆 Plus he’s from the “A”. I lived there for a while and still have friends there so I would enjoy holidays with his family and catching up with old friends. He could do Tiny Chef competitions in the gorgeous gourmet kitchen with our kids and I could judge. Yes I could plan my whole life with that man.

As far as type on paper but maybe not so much in real life? Lucas S2. Again attractive, smart physiotherapist, came from money, liked the finer things in life. Would enjoy getting dressed up to go out and check out a new restaurant (check the food theme). Most guys wouldn’t be into that. He probably has a dope car and is super gentlemen like. He just came off a little bougie to me. I like bougie activities but I don’t like to make people feel lesser than unless they start something first. I can’t quite place what it was, but I felt like ultimately I wouldn’t be enough for him. How that pixel man made me feel insecure I have no idea. Plus he didn’t want kids so that box is unchecked. It doesn’t make him a bad person just less compatible. I’d still let him take me out a few times. I just don’t see him as end game.

Last and maybe least Roberto S6. Again gorgeous, a pilot 😋, a sexy accent, family oriented, confident and a little spicy at least in the beginning but it kind of phased out but I blame the writers. I think he was gonna cook for me too or maybe that’s just head canon. He was a bit of a flirt and couldn’t tell the difference between me and my sister but other than that Roberto was my type on and off paper.

Anyway sorry for the long answer, hope I didn’t scare you. What about you?

[ladespeinada]

No wait hold on cuz S1 Carmy said he wanted to smoke all his competition right? Always had to be the better chef. And Luca talked about how he realized he wasn’t the best because another chef proved him wrong *which we assume to have been Carmy* BUT what if Luca and Syd started dating somehow…

Like Carm could’ve beat Luca in the kitchen, but not when it comes to our girl Syd! Lolll

that was on my mind!!!!!!!! 😭 carmy is a man that (as if it wasn't a big deal) retains michelin stars, wins food & wine awards, is elected for a james beard award for rising chef of the year, 2018. like, he is not simply a line cook, by any means. he is a fucking figure in the world of fine-dining. bro has connects in some dope ass spots in chicago, copenhagen, up & down california and new york too. but like—is all of that enough to start a relationship with the person you love with your whole ass heart, damaged as it may be? can you rest on your cooking laurels when it comes to love?

no, lmao 😛 try harder, boo 🥰 be upfront with your feelings or watch someone else steal your girl ♥️

also! all of the above assumes that the only competition is between carmy & luca which is fun and fine, but let's be real here, sydney is better than both of them lmfaoooo. is she a bit impatient and green? yes. do i think she will grow and become better than either of them? i think also yes

[fuckrealityfictionisbetter]

Here’s how my season 4 went

It was set a year or two after s3 (they still have powers because fuck that shit)

Luther’s still a stripper, he’s dedicated his every spare moment to looking for Sloan, got a massive child drawn looking investigation board about her right next to 5’s mess of cult board

Diego works as a chef because top notch cutting skills, he and Lila have a baby she looks after at home, they love eachother but they can hardly scrape by, she wants to take on a couple hit man jobs but they agree no killing, that they’d make a normal life for their kid so she wouldn’t grow up like them…

Alison got her s1 perfect life back, she’s trying to suppress everything that happened but it’s slowly leaking into her career, making her seem a deva and a mess (ur traumatised babe go to therapy)

Klaus went off to find him in this universe (assuming everyone else would do the same but he was the only one who thought of it) he finds his Irish self who’s also immortal (he moved to Vegas in his early 20’s has a kid and is definitely not called Nathan) it’s assumed Klaus and Irish klaus have been hanging out and working on trauma and their powers for the last year

5 has tried going under cover in every cult he finds, tried finding mysterious and investigating but honestly there’s not much going on, Ben keeps bullying him about it but he’s TRYING OK! You wouldn’t understand this is serious work! The fbi won’t have him because he’s a kid apparently!

Ben has been stuck living with Luther and 5 (every time he tries to leave Luther drags him back and 5 kept getting reported to child services when he tried living on his own) he keeps getting in bar fights but has slowly become more attached to his definitely not brothers

Viktor still has his bar and failed dates with everyone in town because lol

——

Rough outline

Irish klaus gets kidnapped by people who think he’s American klaus, leading to a very confused family and Ben telling him there’s no point trying to leave the fam he’s tried with no avail (leading to a very annoyed Ben when he is allowed to go back to his wife and kid)

Klaus has healed a lot, turns out running from himself all these years didn’t help and he needed to actually sit down and have a conversation with himself instead, he’s got dope powers and there’s gotta be a fight in a grave yard (he also gets a ghost bf enemies to lovers because I think them arguing and making out in public would be funny)

Turns out 5’s cult is the big mean guys and he is THRILLED, Ben will never hear the end of this, the cult wants the fam to end the world again because of weird cult reasons

Idk the middle

At the end the fbi is impressed with 5 and even after lying about being 19 they won’t have him till he’s older, Alison ‘convinces’ the agent to take on 5, Diego and Lila

Viktor opens a new bar right where everyone lives, Luther works behind the bar (badly) Diego decides to be a chef there instead of the fbi but Lila and 5 love their jobs, klaus is happy with his ghost bf and bumming on bens sofa, Ben decided to stay after a heartfelt leaving scene sometime in the show, Alison is trying writing, the big screen isn’t for her anymore but she has some interesting stories on other timelines and assassinations to tell, Luther still hasn’t found his love again, but because the fam were on the news British Luther shows up?! At the bar and they really hit it off!??

[fried-manto]

… do I get another ask.. (asks anyways like a boss)

thoughts on persuit hero? 😋

You get an ask! You get an ask! We all get to ask infinitely!

I'm delirious because I might have a fever

OKAY, moving on from that.

Thoughts on pursuit Hero.

I think he's fuck(ing hot)ed, just the way he's written is amazing like, he's meant to be hated and we all hate him but you know how some of us used to pity him in YBM until he did the most fucked up thing (then) as to

[SPOILERS STARTING FROM HERE]

kidnap Sunny (well technically Sunny went with his own volition, but Hero was gas lighting him to join) and then had the audacity to let his family think both him and Sunny committed Oyasumi by writing suicide notes (Pursuit Hero and 12yro Recital Day Basil would've made a dream team 💀)

Seriously, I can't describe how much I adore him and how utterly repulsed i am by him at the same time.

Then he killed Keith 😭 which I skimmed through reading and just caught up with the comments because at this point Hero is like this eldritch monster that looms around everyone while last chapter we got like a semblance of Suntan Fluff now we are just dreading for what's to come.

Then Chapter 12: Allegro came

And it broke me, like it literally had me on the edge of my seat! Because now we know what Hero is capable of, I was just thinking up of what he might resort to take Sunny away again. And just oh just that SCENE of Omori JUST BEGGING FOR SUNNY TO RUN, TO GET HELP, TO FIND KEL THEN TO RESORT TO GOING INTO THE FOREST IS JUST- Chefs kiss 🎇

I was literally biting my nails to prevent myself from shouting at the screen, from yelling at Sunny to fucking run and HOLY SHIT WHERE THE FUCK IS KEL?!?!?!?

Ugh the confrontation is so GOOD! Sunny used Hero's (trademark) gas lighting back on him and Hero getting stab somehow did nothing to comfort because I feel like Hero wouldn't really get affected by it AND I WAS RIGHT! then Kel teleported into the scene and Hero PULLS OUT A FUCKING GUN

I'm pretty sure it was foreshadowed that he had a gun somewhere, or we should've expected it, but IT WAS SUCH A SHOCK TO ME, LIKE HOLY SHIT A FUCKING GUN! (Probably because I kind of skipped the last few scenes with Hero leading up to this moment)

Ok I'm just gushing about the fic at this point but I dont care, I LOVE IT!

I don't care that there's some controversy regarding this fic and YBM because Masterpieces like these shouldn't be undermined by peoples inability to comprehend its greatness. It's not perfect but like if people actually READ the fic they wouldn't have misunderstood Hero's infatuation with Sunny as romance.

So yeah, my thoughts on Pursuit Hero, he's pretty cool. Dope ass guy, but he should really die in a gutter alone.

If you haven't yet (but I'm sure you did), you should definitely read all of @otomerson 's other works, for a writer, their works are so aspiring to me. I wish I can write like them one day.

Lo(ve)athe him </3

[cwarscars-a]

[I've been saying nice things for other ppl all day, I think I deserve a tiny one 😤 *slams dunks mine* Pwease. ]

Send me a url and I'll write some positivity for it.

mate, MATE -

do u know how much of a slut i am for well-rounded, well-written, interesting, GRITTY oc characters set in lowkey grungy / alt takes on existing worlds? it's my fucking JAM baby and you flavour that jam like it's the good strawberry shit ( funny, cause u the best chef i know - youre the only chef i know but shhhhussshh ).

i love jae so goddamn much that everytime i see you on my dash, im just fuckin lapping that shit up like it's the good cush. your writing, for starters - is golden. the way you describe things, the way you read the world, the way you portray jae. i'm such a sucker for emotionally complex characters. character's who aren't just /good/.

i feel like so many people fall into a trap of making all of their characters 'good' regardless of their alignment. people will take villains and turn them good because they can't help but reflect their own personal beliefs onto them but i love that with jae, you don't shy away from giving him aspects of his personality that aren't good. you make him complex, interesting. you give him a depth that only a talented writer can give a character; i always find myself interested in his next move, his opinion, his past and how it effects him / has him think. i'm very intrigued by the way you write him because i see a character with /layers/ ( like shrek fr fr bussin ).

(( also, like making heid his dog? fucking 10/10 top tier move pls bound and gag heid and use him for just his dick/ass cause lets be real thats all hes good for ok bye ))

as for you, MY FRIEND, you're always such a delight to chat with. i love how fuckin tough you are; how NO SHIT you be, i find that shit inspiring - you're always a joy to chat ideas and interests with. yknow how fantastic it is to speak to someone whose uncensored and open-minded about the world and the things in it? it feels very liberating to me to be able to chat more extreme ideas or inspirations ( animu friend ) with somebody without feeling any kind of like, idk, discomfort or uncertainty? you're a joy to speak to and i think you're very cool - genuinely, a cool ass mothafucka-

ur dope

[ladykailitha]

Right, right, so...I’ve been reading Blindspot by dreadmilf (it’s amazing by the way, go read it) where it’s AU where both Eddie and Steve are doubles figure skaters in need of a partner and getting together on and off the ice. They said they were inspired by The Cutting Edge (one of my favorite sports movies of all time, it being a romance at heart doesn’t hurt;)) but it doesn’t stick to the plot of the movie (they’re both figure skaters and in the movie one is a hockey player). Which isn’t a problem.

Except my gremlin brain decided it wouldn’t let me alone until I fleshed out an idea that followed the plot of the movie.

So my darlings, may I present to you Cutting Edge SteddieAU

Steve is a former hockey player whose last Olympic dreams were shattered by being headchecked into the glass and is blindsided on the left side. His super rich dad just wants a gold medal and doesn’t care how. So he enlists the aid of disgraced figure skating coach Jim Hopper (he was doping his skaters) to teach Steve how to figure skate.

But Hop is a doubles coach. And Steve must have a partner. But despite (or maybe because of) of the money Steve’s dad is throwing around, none of the the female doubles skaters want to deal with untested, untrained, and untried Steve Harrington.

Enter Eddie Munson. Wild, weird, outrageous Eddie Munson. His partner Chrissy Cunningham was killed in a drunk driver accident when her boyfriend Jason Craver got behind the wheel drunk and crashed into an embankment. It took her life, but he survived. Eddie blames himself because he offered to drive but Jason blew him off. He feels he should have pushed harder. So he’s been depressed and spiraling since her death and no one is willing to work with his temper.

Cue Eddie uttering the line “toe pick!” Steve struggling to understand the difference between Lutz and an Axel. Nancy as Steve’s stuck up fiance. Eddie slipping in and out of people’s beds but not connecting with any of them until Steve. Eddie having to go home and tell his Uncle Wayne that all their Olympic dreams rest on a former hockey player. Drunk Steve. Steve doing the speech at the end to his father (chef’s kiss).