#He doesn't have any friends. Or hobbies. Or any general interests at all that we know about?

[professeurm]

house md 1x09

john: ...The reason normal people got wives and kids and hobbies, whatever. That’s because they don’t got that one thing that hits them that hard and that true. I got music, you got this. The thing you think about all the time, the thing that keeps you south of normal. Yeah, makes us great, makes us the best. All we miss out on is everything else

this interest me. now putting this into house and wilson relationship

wilson is far from normal (still a babygirl tho) but he tries to be normal. at least what is standard to be normal. House got his job, the obsession of solving cases. Without it, he would just be a depress addicted with a disability.

in general both are far from normal. house thing makes him a great doctor, but it also pushes people away and he misses out on love and friendships. With House lovers, they eventually leave him for a similar reason. House friends... well he doesn't have any he's a jerk and no one can tolerate him. Wilson doesn't have that thing, not yet at least (in my opinion tbh). He has a wife and hobbies... well at times lol

but the thing is house doesn't miss out on everything. he has wilson and its all he needs. Wilson understands and accepts him like no other

john: ...No woman waiting at home after work with the drink and the kiss, that ain’t gonna happen for us

that's not true though for house. wilson doesn't always come home with him but he's there and when Wilson became his roommates. He had someone to come to, have a drink with and have fun with. Even before being roommates, they still had that. House always had someone waiting for him after work since s1 and after the final season he literally had someone to go home to

[teyrnacousland]

Thinking about post game Illario again and the mental state he must be in. He's literally lost everything.

Things will never be the same between him and Lucanis. Even if they do get better someday, they can never be the same.

He is never going to be First Talon now. He's actually gone down the ladder, which I don't think he even considered as a possibility, since he figured it was a success or death kind of deal. The man who loves being admired and adored now has to face a future full of disdain and hatred.

He has to watch Lucanis become First Talon. Something he wanted (needed). And worse, something he knows Lucanis doesn't want. He has to watch Lucanis continue to be suffocated under Caterina's grasp and the weight of her expectations until it kills him. He's back to having to watch and wait for Lucanis to die. He was able to justify killing Lucanis in part to prevent this exact fate and now he has even less power to stop it than he did before.

Where do you even go from there?

[siriuslyobsessedwithfiction]

Alina Starkov - the most inconsistent main character. A tragedy of not wanting to have an identity.

The main character in Shadow and Bone trilogy, a prime example of "she deserved better". A.k.a. soldier, Sun Summoner, Sun Saint. In reality, a false saint and a false hero, who has less personality, goals, spine and consistency than her three love interests. How did this happen? Short answer - bad writing. Long answer? Here we go.

Her character at the beginning - a blank slate.

Physically small and weak, sickly, fragile, with a sour face and sourer attitude. Grew up in an orphanage funded by a Duke, who they were taught to basically worship while looking down on religion and beliefs in saints. Children in the orphanage were beaten if they misbehaved or didn't do chores, but were given education and fine food, which means they were faring better than peasants and farmers. Alina had not many, but several options in her life. She could learn a trade that would not require physical labour, like sewing. Or, she could marry and hope her husband was gracious enough to buy a donkey instead of making her carry heavy sacks of salt on her back, as we see a random man do to his wife. But Alina had no hobbies, interests, aspirations or ambitions in her life. Except her childhood friend Mal. Mal gets a mandatory draft in the First Army, and of course Alina follows, and settles for being a mediocre cartographer. Mal thrives in the army, showing off muscles and hooking up with women, while Alina dutifully waits for him saints know why. She doesn't have other genuine friends, she doesn't like people, she doesn't like anything. This is not a bad start in a sense that there is much room for growth and improvement.

Refusing to belong

Alina discovers she's a long awaited sun summoner, who can vanquish the Fold and unite Ravka. She doesn't want to be special, but not for the reasons you might think. Instead of fearing the burden of such an important task or genuinely becoming paranoid of being assassinated (she gets over those in five minutes), she just...doesn't want the responsibility of actually being useful for something. She'd rather not have powers at all, and go back to being in a constantly sickly state. She'd rather be tailing Mal like a mouse. Which doesn't make any sense for following reasons:

Alina's insecurities in SaB:

Not being pretty and talented

2. Not being as pretty and talented as Grisha

3. Being an orphan, being unwanted.

Being a Grisha actually solves all those problems for her. She gets prettier and healthier once she stops repressing her powers, has a unique cool power, and a community that cares for her. Plus, the support from important figures in Ravka. In time, she could have a family.

Instead, she refuses to acknowledge she's one of them, doesn't train properly, preferring to cling to her prejudices and make digs at Grisha. She'd rather complain that they're prettier, confident and pampered than acknowledge they are serfs, nothing but glorified servants with no basic human rights. Instead of her superstitions and prejudices being shattered when she starts living with them and realizing what Grisha have to go through, becoming rightfully enraged that her people are being treated this way, she still doesn't feel any empathy. In fact, she still doesn't see the General as a HUMAN BEING WHO MIGHT HAVE FEELINGS, even though he makes time in his busy schedule of running an army to make sure she's comfortable, jokes along with her, listens to her fears and reassures her, etc. Why would he go through the trouble if he was heartless? He's the General of the Second Army, by the King's law, she's his soldier. She is obligated to obey him regardless.

The narrative supports her delusions.

I get missing her friend, I get struggling to adjust, but it's more than that. Alina is getting dragged along from a plot point to a plot point kicking and screaming, as if she has anything better to do. She doesn't have a life, why is she so against of getting one? Once she finally somewhat adjusts to her life in the Little Palace, it turns out Darkling has had malicious intents towards her powers all along! Aha, you were right to be prejudiced, Alina! Now abandon your people, your country, and run!

“He … he said that Darklings are born without souls. That only something truly evil could have created the Shadow Fold.”

Imagine telling a person who saved your life that he was a soulless abomination, even though you do not know him, and he is still kind to you and reveals as much about him as he can. There is no grooming and manipulation here, it's just called not being a bitch. Darkling tells Alina he's over 120 years old, Alina is an adult, and the damned kiss was consensual. Of course he didn't tell her everything. Even regular people don't reveal their life-long ambitions and deepest childhood trauma to their crush after several conversations. It took Alina months to stop being in denial about being a Grisha, still didn't like being one, you're telling me if Darkling set her down and explained the complex political situation and his plan to overthrow the corrupt monarchy and bring an end to the war, Alina wouldn't jump out of the window?

Alina running away, not confronting the problem, and straight up deciding Darkling was evil incarnate with no evidence snowballed into Darkling deciding she couldn't be trusted and taking more drastic measures. Liberation of his people was on the line and one pesky girl screwed up a carefully planned coup because she couldn't handle her feelings.

False badassery

Throughout the whole three books, every time Alina makes a decision, it's immediately followed by self-doubt, shame and scorn. But no actual objective criticism. We often see variations of "It was foolish, but I didn't care", "I knew it was reckless but I couldn't bring myself to care", but never her actually analyzing why, or deciding not to do something like that again. Her small victories are immediately followed by thoughts on how would others feel about it, even though the person in question isn't even there and couldn't give less of a shit: "Never is it to be said that Ana Kuya didn't teach us manners", "A cheap trick, but a good one. Nikolai would be proud". Ana Kuya was an abusive mother figure, Nikolai was using Alina's status to get the throne. Sure, it's good that Alina is capable of learning useful things from every kinds of people, but she doesn't think "That was smart of me. I learnt that. I'm proud of myself for an accomplishment". She thinks "Is it good? Would they like it? They like things like that, right?". She attaches herself to people that fit her view of "deserving" and helps them, even though it might not be for the best. Extreme lack of self-worth, combined with entitlement.

When Alina hears a rumour Darkling ordered his heartrenders to sew a traitor's mouth shut, she's horrified. Even though that's hardly the worst punishment for a traitor in an army. But when some pilgrims insult Genya, she orders to have their tongues cut out after they're given only one warning. When Alina commits violence at slightest provocation, it's baddass. But when Darkling commits a controlled necessary military act to stop enemies from overrunning the country, it's madness and is falsely labeled genocide. Look up the definition, genocide is what was happening to Grisha.

The Darkling never kidnapped children and put them in the war zone. He only lied to Alina that he did, a clever strategy with no bloodshed. Meanwhile, Alina let her cult fight for her, whose members were brainwashed children, some only twelve years old.

When Alina faces a dilemma or a tense military situation, her go-to strategy is suicide. That is not martyrdom, nor it is badass.

Darkling became a bad person out of good intentions and desperation, Alina is just a bad selfish person.

Desperate people are the ones capable of the worst acts. Darkling didn't go nearly as crazy as he could, and frankly had a right to on behalf of his people.

"Aleksander had marched south with the king’s soldiers, and when they’d faced the Shu in the field, he’d unleashed darkness upon their opponents, blinding them where they stood. Ravka’s forces had won the day. But when Yevgeni had offered Aleksander his reward, he had refused the king’s gold. “There are others like me, Grisha, living in hiding. Give me leave to offer them sanctuary here and I will build you an army the likes of which the world has never seen.”

It doesn't matter how much genocide, prejudice, abuse and dehumanization the Grisha suffered through for centuries all around the world, Alina never bothers to look at the big picture. Her help is only for those who she deems worthy of it.

She attaches herself to people who fit her narrow-minded view of "worthy". She immediately believes Baghra's rather flimsy expose of Darkling, even though the old woman has been nothing but unhelpful to her, only insulting her and beating her. But Alina associates her with her only mother figure, Ana Kuya, another old hag she had a toxic relationship with. And even though Baghra is an immensely powerful Grisha who refuses to help or even lift a finger, or just spit out vital information, Alina coddles her and provides protection. Instead of telling her to fess up the useful information and save her unhelpful comments, Alina looks up to her as a mentor.

When Genya tells her story, Alina feels bad for her, but not bad enough to see things her perspective. She only becomes protective of Genya once she gets mutilated, out of pity. If it was genuine compassion, she would've forgiven and understood her from the start.

Every Grisha has been hunted and shamed for merely existing, almost every Grisha has lost a loved one to war. But Alina pointedly ignores it, because she doesn't personally know and care for those people. Therefore, she doesn't feel empathetic. Because if she feels empathetic, she might start feeling guilty about how she runs away from her responsibilities at every given opportunity. Just look at this passage:

“You know what he plans to do, Ivan.” “He plans to bring us peace.” “At what price?” I asked desperately. “You know this is madness.” “Did you know I had two brothers?” Ivan asked abruptly. The familiar smirk was gone from his handsome face. “Of course not. They weren’t born Grisha. They were soldiers, and they both died fighting the King’s wars. So did my father. So did my uncle.” “I’m sorry.” “Yes, everyone is sorry. The King is sorry. The Queen is sorry. I’m sorry. But only the Darkling will do something about it.”

The Darkling never wanted power for selfish reasons. He didn't want to take over other countries or lift Grisha above regular people. He wanted his kind to have basic human rights. Centuries of diplomacy and servitude only gave him enough power to make a school for Grisha children and save adults from slavery and getting slaughtered by serving nobles. He wanted to use the Fold as a border, to stop enemies from invading whenever they pleased, so he would have the time to save Ravka from collapsing. What has Alina done? Started a civil war, destroyed the Second army and helped put a morally dubious man with no claim on the throne to continue an outdated absolute monarchy tradition.

Alina Starkov was meant to be the sun, but turned out to be a trick of the light.

Every time it felt like Alina was emerging from her cocoon as a beautiful butterfly, embracing her true self, she went back to the toxic situationship and the toxic mindset. The narrative also always struck her down. Every book begins and ends with her being sickly, fragile, missing an essential part of herself. It would be good if it was written differently and showed themes of being disabled or having a chronic illness accurately, but it's not. It started out well. Alina was removed from an abusive environment, found a purpose in life, started loving her newfound powers, outgrew the stupid crush who she was way too dependent on, but it all went downhill from there. And then some. This constant vicious cycle does not fit the theme of growth and improvement, and neither does the ending, where Alina loses her powers and goes back to the orphanage. Once again, she's frail and strange, servants (who she now employs) don't respect her, sneer and make fun of her, while her now husband Mal turns a blind eye. Everything is back to the way it was: Mal thrives, Alina is...there. The ending is supposed to be bittersweet, a couple who survived a war building a new life together, but I don't see the sweet part.

Trick of the light - definition: something appearing different from what actually is as a result of the quality of light.

Darkling wanted her to be a strong Grisha, his equal and balance. Grisha wanted her to be a capable leader, Bataar twins wanted a living saint they could worship, Nikolai wanted a wife interested in Ravka and politics. Alina tried to be all of that, but never really wanted to be any of those, so she half-assed it. Mal wanted the version of Alina who was small and insignificant, because anything more made him insecure, and he got his wish.

Illusion, mirage, spectre.

No matter how much the author tries to tell us that Alina's every problem is Darkling's fault, her thought process and actions paint a different picture. Alina was never mentally healthy and she never addressed or resolved her problems. Growing up in a controlled and abusive environment affected her more than anyone, including herself, wants to admit. I am not a licensed psychiatrist, so I will refrain from officially diagnosing Alina, even though she's a fictional character. I am NOT saying I know for certain that Alina has these, if any, mental problems, but she does have some alarming symptoms. It seems like depersonalization. While her symptoms don't fit into one particular mental disorder, I am reminded of psychiatric infantilism, but it is not a mental illness with symptoms. Psychiatric infantilism doesn't necessarily mean the person acts outwardly childishly. To explain very roughly and simply, it means the psych is not as developed as it should be (even if the person is very smart and clever). It shows in avoiding responsibility or not feeling it at all, problems with social connections, not seeing the big picture and taking it seriously, etc. When Harshaw tells the story of his brother getting brutally murdered by people who hate Grisha, even brash Zoya is appalled and expresses her condolences. While all Alina thinks about is that Harshaw might base his hope of having a better life on her now.

Alina also might have Dependent Personality Disorder, but it's hard to say, since we are never shown her being on her own long enough to see whether or not she can take actually care of herself. But her relationship with Mal, Darkling and Baghra (after she no longer objectively needs them) is weird, to say the least.

She never gains the sense of self or an identity, she refuses to become something, then delivers an inner monologue of accepting her fate and five minutes later goes back on her words. Her willingness to sacrifice her life is never out of thinking of the greater good and future, justice, or patriotism. She just doesn't want to live, especially without Mal, who has been doing nothing but shitting on her. Her titles are slapped on her, and she peels them off. Her personality never really changes. Everything she went through feels like a really bad exchange program she was in for a year, and from which she has learnt nothing.

P.S. I don't hate Alina's character, I just mourn her lost potential.

If you have made it to the end, I salute you, congratulations and thank you. 😊 🙏 ❤️

[number1greedlingfan]

Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)

Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".

Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.

Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.

Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.

Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.

Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.

Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.

Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)

Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".

This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.

When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.

Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.

While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.

Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.

Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.

Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,

[inchidentally]

we all know Oscar speaks to media in carefully rehearsed and self-approved soundbites rather than risk impromptu vulnerability. which as a total side note is so fascinating bc he and Lando both call themselves over-thinkers but it manifests for Oscar in choosing to risk potentially being misconstrued as reserved or even cold/apathetic over giving the media/unkind public any part of his heart or soul to play with - whereas with Lando, he'd rather maintain the freedom of authenticity and then weather the brutal storms of being misunderstood - or accidentally misrepresenting himself. Oscar has no interest in becoming known as Himself, he just wants to be there in the racing history books with the people he's always admired and measured himself against. Lando wants to write his own story and have it be remembered by those who matter to him, Oscar wants to keep himself to himself and only focus on the parts of his career that matter to him and those close to him.

it's such a unique distinction between them and is equally laudable and authentic, but it's also so much a part of how they just Work So Well despite not taking a single one of the obvious easy methods to establish a friendship/bond or using any of the obvious easy ways to maintain it. (and even more notable bc unlike Lando with Carlos and Daniel where there was the age/life/hobbies difference and Lando had to adapt to the older guy's interest and friend groups, Lando and Oscar could've easily rolled with already sharing mutual friends, starting out in the same karting company, the same video games, same generation and references, and crucially Lando's best friend for life. the way they could have utilized all of that to push the great new bromance but didn't. that Max comfortably brings up Oscar on his stream so it's not like there's any issue there. it was a deliberate choice for them not to lean into something - at least publicly! - that the public would absolutely eat up.) like, they started from the mutual respect for what they're both trying to achieve in this sport and their own personal struggles and have built entirely off of that foundation. idk that fact and the way that get caught tilting their heads and smiling fondly at each other still just akjkkasfgagfagjflsagflj)

and like, Lando's deep pride in what they've built together as teammates and the history they are creating together and him finding his leadership and his strength in no longer being the kid, the little brother or the fanboy.

ANYWAY SORRY Oscar's soundbites are in no way fake or PR or advised by anyone else, it's that they're pre-rehearsed and parsed for anything a stranger could get their fangs into. he doesn't want any of his life with Lily out there for consumption so he lets her take the couple photos for his IG and he has his "my girlfriend would say/think/do" lines ready to go where they can be inserted and satisfy people wanting more of his romantic life. and the safety of Mark Webber as yes a supportive/father figure in his life but also a good source of harmless media humor. he has his "thanks to the fans and sponsors" "good to see all the fans out there" "my main focus is to improve my own performance" etc etc ready to go when talking about racing and what is owed to the people allowing him to have this rarified career. bc all of that is his Adult Life and happened after he became aware that gaining notoriety and sharing bits of his life would inevitably have it's very bad side. even tho he met Lily and Mark in his teens, his career and life trajectory were much closer to what his life is now than his life at say 14/15/16.

but he avoids or stumbles when talking about his own family, how he feels about the team in his garage who so closely represent people he doesn't want to disappoint, about Lando, about guys like Logan and Liam who he's spent significant parts of his childhood with, has only once mentioned Max F despite them being wrapped up in COVID protocol together and Max confirming that their relationships is still really good. the threads to childhood and a time when his privacy was never an issue are way too live and charged with those topics - to different degrees and different ways, but it's the same reason why he clams up and often doesn't have a handy soundbite ready.

WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS holy shit I cannot fucking stop rambling - is that him constantly saying how Baku meant more to him than Hungary and that Hungary was about ticking a box but Baku was when he knew how it felt to truly win - is because sometimes the soundbites are for necessity and to avoid further probing. the sponsors, his romantic life tidbits, the way he's trying to improve himself - sometimes they're specifically so that he can offer up a pink, beating piece of his own heart to show to people while never putting it directly in their hands.

Lando, their relationship, their teammate dynamic, what they talk about, the emotions they feel about each other, what happens behind that shared doorway of theirs - all of that is Off Limits and even the soundbites are incredibly rare. (the tiny glimpse of their solidarity against DTS with the "no, I'm with my team" "fuck 'em" and the intensity of looking into each other's eyes while they mutually process things being both a little eerie but so <3 !!) equally he will NOT talk about how he loves or feels about his mum, dad and sisters or any feelings and the soundbites are even rarer.

there's something to be said about neurodivergence and the decisions over what feels intimate in a controlled, safe reliable way (Lily, his own race performances, Mark Webber, funnily enough now in a smaller way Carlos who he admires/gets uniquely annoyed by) and what feels intimate in a don't-have-full-control, tied to childhood emotions, kinda scary way (his family, Lando, the impact he has on his team/McLaren) and it not at ALL meaning that one is more or less or important than the other, just different - but that is wayyyyyy too overstepping even for me to go into/even be able to go into or theorize. it's just kinda... (wild gesturing) there.

but Lando, Hungary, Baku… those have dark, visceral blood running through them. those things slot directly, terrifyingly into his hidden most intimate childhood feelings about dreams, ambitions, sacrifices, passions, insecurities, pains and joys etc (Andrea kissing both their heads lovingly?? feels so indicative and expressive on it's own of what was going on). Lando as a person and a driver pushing so fully into Oscar's attention and his ambition from literally age 13/14 - and not in the usual pre-F1 likes/comments that we as fans knowingly blow up into something deeper than it is - but in a oh wow he truly notched Lando into his own personal measure of ambition and also just found him fascinating/cool in a way he didn't do with any other driver! and it remained fully consistent up until he had Lando in his day-to-day life and didn't need to follow him any other way anymore! but it's unchanged from telling his mum he won't have to face such harsh expectations his first season bc Lando is so good to just recently saying he's proud to have The Best as his teammate to measure against. that's just !!! that's perilously close to an open heart!!

so when he cultivates soundbites for these things to present to the media/public, it's far from him dulling them down or acting dispassionate: in that case he could choose to just cultivate a white lie or a bland enough fib to get people off his back. it's actually because he so badly wants the world to know that he /knows/ Hungary was a mess and that neither he nor Lando ever had a hope of not being as vilified by one side as they were angrily defended by the other. that the relief of Baku that was evident in BOTH of them is something Real To Him. he will NOT say he didn't earn Hungary and he will NOT say that he ever would have expected Lando to be okay with giving back the lead bc neither of those things has ever been a question for him. but he very much does want people to see him authentically and feel the warmth behind the words when he says that Baku is for him The Win he wants to talk about and it's for the reasons we can easily assume. that if he speaks any more plainly than the soundbite then Lando's fans could rip into it or his own fans could rip into Lando over it or F1 fans could start claiming he's a cold blooded winner OR a teammate simp who doesn't have the killer instinct needed.

no, he won't hand that over to the media or the masses. he'll give a private little smile, add a warm, soft knowing lilt to his voice and return to Baku 2024 as the moment when his childhood earnestness hugged his adult ambition and that Lando and the Team and Andrea and his family are all tied up in that in ways that anyone with basic empathy can imagine. if someone needs it spelled out, if they are too biased or too dense or too emotionally undeveloped to learn human beings based on anything except dumb, deliberate invasiveness then they're precisely the people he's intending to keep at the gate. (*because it's precisely those people who have also latched their teeth onto Lando's vulnerability, claiming to be his biggest fans, storming around the internet and comments sections speaking for him and about him with an authority they never earned and being just as misguided and wrong as the people who only want to hate him)

idk just, every time he talks about Baku and gets that sweet smile on his face and I remember Lando striding around with sweet freedom filling his lungs and leaping up to shower Oscar in champagne at the group photo and the utter giddiness shared in having that awful shadow's chill off of them… like, it means SO much to him <3<3

[emeraldspiral]

I feel like we don't talk enough about how Gaz is also a victim of Membrane's neglect and how that affects her sibling rivalry with Dib.

Like, I think because Dib is the deuteragonist of the show and Gaz is a supporting character it's easier to focus on analyzing him and everything going on in his life that influences his maladjusted behavior. But not a lot of people talk as much about why Gaz is the way she is. Why are her main emotions apathy and anger? Why is she the only other kid at skool besides Dib and Zim with no friends to hang out with at lunch or recess? Why are her revenges against Dib over things like cereal and pizza so over-the-top? Why does she purposefully try to destroy all human life and then get mad when it doesn't work?

Some of Gaz's behaviors have a pretty clear-cut cause and effect. She and Dib don't get to spend much time with their dad, so she gets upset when Dib's actions threaten their time together. Dib is also selfish and inconsiderate of Gaz, frequently stealing her food or talking her ear off about stuff she doesn't care about and expecting her to take an interest while never asking about her hobbies.

But I think some of her hostility toward Dib and general sour attitude can also be explained by Membrane's unequal treatment.

I've seen elsewhere that some people think Membrane favors Gaz because she's his "normal" child. He actually respects her gaming hobby and doesn't treat it like a phase she needs to grow out of. He doesn't talk down to her or try to push her into giving up something she loves in order to win his approval. Where Dib is constantly arguing with his dad about the legitimacy of his version of science, he and Gaz seem to have an easy rapport free of that kind of tension.

But is Membrane's behavior toward Gaz really a sign of favoritism, or just a different form of neglect?

The main conflict between Dib and Membrane stems from Membrane wanting Dib to be his successor. In Chickenfoot he specifically calls Dib "the future of the Membrane Empire", against Dib's wishes. In Mopiness of Doom, he and Dib finally bond when Dib decides to temporarily give up paranormal science and assist him with "real science". And supposedly, part of Eric Trueheart's clone Dib concept was that Membrane engineered Dib specifically to carry on his legacy.

But all of this begs the question, where does Gaz fit into Membrane's grand designs? Is she just the spare? She's just as smart, if not smarter than Dib, but we never see any indication that Membrane's trying to push her toward a career in science the way he is with Dib. It's one thing for him to not be bothered about her gaming hobby because it's not "disreputable", but there's no indication that Gaz has anymore interest in becoming a "real" scientist than Dib. So does Membrane just assume that since she's never shown any other ambitions she'll just fall straight down the path that's already been laid out for her, or does he just not care what she does with her life because he's only focused on living vicariously through Dib?

We don't know exactly how Membrane views his kids, but it's easy to see how a little girl might come to some pretty negative conclusions about what her status is in her father's eyes. Even if it's not true, Gaz might very well believe that he favors Dib. That despite Dib rejecting the legacy she was never considered for, despite him constantly getting into trouble and being weird and annoying and embarrassing, and putting his stupid hobbies ahead of their family, their dad doesn't give up on him as a lost cause. Even when he has another perfectly good child who mostly behaves herself and stays out of trouble, would never try to upstage him or ruin an important moment for him, who appreciates what little time they have together and would never jeopardize it by running off to play with some stupid alien, and who's just as smart and capable and not a weirdo paranormal-obsessed freak, Membrane still wants Dib to be his successor and not her.

Not only does this add more layers to her contempt for Dib, it could also explain her apathy and misanthropy. If her dad doesn't care about her, why should she care about anything? If he isn't concerned with her future, why should she concern herself with anything other than the immediate gratification of video games and pizza? Her dad and her brother both think their work is so much more important than spending quality time with her or talking about anything other than their "important work" whenever they're together. They both think they're saving the world, but they're either too blindly optimistic or too egotistical to realize that the slack-jawed idiots populating the planet are beyond salvation. But maybe if there was no humanity left for them to save, no heroic ambitions to fulfill, they'd finally treat her like someone worth paying attention too.

[demonvampire180writes]

Thank you to @alliwantforchristmasislou for setting up this amazing thing! <3

Warning: I don't know how not to ramble, or make sense.

I don't work during the winter, and I'm trying to pay down debts so I can buy a house in 2025, so I unfortunately don't have any money to spare, but I wanted to express my gratitude to the BuckTommy nation for the joy they've brought me.

I started this silly little show last winter on a total whim. Ms. Angela Basset was always there on the title card whenever I opened Hulu so, bored with my endless amounts of reading, I decided to give it a go. Immediately I was drawn in. I loved their dynamics. The stories. Peter Krause's acting, especially in the scene where he breaks down on the couch with Hen and Buck? Yeah, my overly empathetic self was like, this show is mine now.

Mind you, I didn't binge watch it all at once. I took short little breaks, never feeling the need to power through them all. And then, BuckTommy happened. All of a sudden, I had a reason to catch up and catch up I did. I can't tell you precisely why I was so drawn to them, but I have some ideas.

For once, we had a pair of equally masculine men showing affection towards each other. Neither of them could be relegated to the "woman" role. They weren't stereotypically effeminate, but they went against the alpha male stereotypes. You had two men who had been mentally neglected all their lives, into adulthood, who came out the other side being people that wanted to serve and protect for all they were worth. They had trauma, but outside of Buck's sex addiction - Buck 1.0 - they didn't let their trauma define them. They showed affection, not just to the women around them, but to their friends and chosen family. They said "I love you" with their actions. Buck was allowed to have "feminine" hobbies without being effeminate, and maybe to some that's not a big deal but to me that is. Tommy, who could be questionably called more effeminate, was allowed to have more stereotypically "masculine" hobbies despite being a Kinsey 6.

That's a huge deal on broadcast TV. The general audience has certain expectations, as much as they sometimes suck - they're not known for being the most progressive folks in the world - so the fact that the show was allowed to stick it to them was just... an amazing experience. As someone who's only other experience with masculine GAY men on TV was Ian and Mickey, whom I love dearly, it was such a nice change of pace. Also, the fact that they're both mature men? Also a huge deal. I love Alec, from Shadowhunter's, but he's still pretty young, and he's known he was gay for a very long time. Patrick and David from Schitt's Creek? They knew, and David(?) still has a very effeminate air about him, despite being confirmed pansexual.

All this is to say, that BuckTommy drew me in until they had a chokehold on me. I started using Tumblr again, started diving back into fanfiction in a way I hadn't since Kuroko no Basuke. I've produced more fics for the 911 fandom in six months than for any other fandom I've ever written for. And I've been in fandoms since circa 2007? And that's insanely impressive. BuckTommy drew me back into broadcast TV. I literally yell at my brother when the show is on to not talk to me, or bother me, for the next hour. I've got like... Four shows I wait for weekly now, TV antenna and all.

BuckTommy's have also been some of the kindest, most interesting, people I've had the pleasure of "knowing." Every single day I have things to look forward to in the tag, whether it's fics, or art, or headcannons, or honestly - my favorite - complaints about how the relationship ended and how the writers done fucked up. You guys are so amazing, and I love all of you that I've ever interacted with.

I'm PRAYING to see Lou, and Tommy, again in 2025, but even if he doesn't, I'm back for the long haul. You guys dragged me back from the brink of destruction after the break-up, I've never lost it over a fictional ship like that before in my LIFE, and I've decided that I'm here for good.

Merry fucking Christmas, and Happy Holidays to you all.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

hey! I was going through ur tag for the grishaverse and I was wondering if ur thoughts changed at all?

tl;dr No not really lol

Long answer: see I think the problems boil down to Le!gh Bardug0... starting this series during the Obama administration and her just essentially being a white liberal/center-left lady.

Like I see so many people dismissing any criticism of this series as "lololol shadow daddy apologists" but like. There is a basis for that "apology". I'll tell the truth and say that I don't think book!Darkling is super interesting (not talking about the TV show in this ask at all for several reasons), because he's essentially a) a cautionary tale on two legs; b) an aesthetic. One of his inspirations is Raistlin Majere, and Raistlin runs MILES around him, because he's allowed to SERIOUSLY mess up, the narrative acknowledges it, and the narrative still manages to make you kinda root for him because the narrative is allowed to be **complex**, and guess what, NOBODY DIED IN REAL LIFE

And when I say cautionary tale, it's that I REALLY hate that somehow women need to be told that rooting for Shadow Daddy makes them a dumb bitch, especially when the other option is Mal, who could honestly be based on the lady from Ballerina Farm's husband and quite frankly? Shadow Daddy ain't real. Guys like Mal sure are lmao.

(And again, I love stories where the lady gets to tell Shadow Daddy/the villain to stuff it, AND she doesn't lose her integrity. See: Christine Daaé, Liz Sharp in the Miss Sharp's Monsters series, Galadriel in the Rings of Power TV series. Heck, in some cases, they're even allowed to show compassion, they can be deceived, but it's never, EVER put on them as a mistake that puts their intelligence into question.)

But even then, if I had to be honest, I don't think Alina and the Darkling are well-suited to each other anyway, because what Alina really needs are a) hobbies; b) friends who are not Mal and who are removed from the political situation; c) self-esteem classes. And at the end of the day, Darkl!ina is more of an aesthetic. People who go all "BUT THE AGE GAP BECKY" are missing the point, and Alina is such a nothing of a character it's easy to self-insert as her, and it's easy to use the Darkling as a Ken doll, as he's also a) an aesthetic; b) a very flat cautionary tale on two legs, making it pretty easy to turn that aspect of him on its head. And mind you, I don't *actually* have a problem with that (that's what fanfic and transformative fandoms are for), and my general answer for age gaps in stories is usually the following: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKZX23fHL64

(And I know I'm going to have people replying to this video: "BUT IRINA! THE GRISHAVERSE BOOKS ARE YA!!!" Ding ding ding, correct! But YA is mostly read by adults nowadays and publishing houses are knowingly appealing to that demographic! That is also the reason why New Adult became a thing! I hate capitalism :) )

*

But like, I spent so much time talking about Darkl!ina when I don't think it's really the problem with the series, and it's more that... Le!gh Bardug0 doesn't seem to understand that she wrote about an oppressed minority, that we are not meant to see as an oppressed minority, and that aspect of her books has aged like milk in light of... pretty much everything that has happened since the end of the Obama administration.

If I had to be honest I'm honestly concerned people don't realize she wrote about an entire people that are meant to be Jewish-coded, and their leader is the... shadowy advisor who manipulates the King, and personally that makes my antisemitic alarm bells go all Kill Bill but what do I know Brenda. (And if you want to sit down with me and calmly explain to me why I'm actually wrong about this, please do, because sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy with that realization and I don't understand how no one talks about it)

And I'm honestly not mad if you decide to have your book series end with a) the monarchy still firmly in place; b) the Grisha still being an oppressed minority, because such is life and people are shitty. The issue I have is that the basic message of it seems to be: "Well the Grisha should have kept asking nicely instead of rebelling and causing havoc xox. Look at Alina, she's the Token Good Minority, her boyfriend is a Real Strong Ravkan Man and she knows her place xox". And I'm writing this as of January 2025, and to anyone reading this, all I'm gonna say is: kings and health insurance company CEOs don't give a shit if you ask nicely.

You will not convince me, not in a thousand years, that the Grisha somehow had privileges in Ravka. Because no, being recruited into the army because of who you are, no matter how well you are treated, is a violent act. It is a violation of your human rights. It is a clear statement that your life belongs to your country, and that your country can see fit to use you as cannon fodder if it is so inclined. Yes, I am aware that Ravka is a crapsack place, but seeing people IRL use the good treatment of the Grisha as an army as an argument against their grievances is ignorant AT BEST. I will also kindly point out the U.S. Army tends to recruit and target marginalized communities.

If anything, you could say that the Grishaverse books are about violent authoritarian regimes forcing more and more of a violent response from the oppressed, leading to moral compasses being thrown away, only for the oppressors to come out of it victorious because they have the privilege of foregoing moral compasses, but of still being upheld as a moral center as they present attributes of "morality". You can get away with anything as long as you keep reminding people at every turn you're a husband and father, right? RIGHT?

Like, this book series is essentially about how the ENTIRE SYSTEM is inherently violent, we have a heroine who basically caves in and upholds said system, sees those who had the nerve of rebelling against it punished one way or another (no seriously WHAT DOES LE!GH BARDUG0 HAVE AGAINST GENYA), and then she basically buzzes off to her cottagecore dream life with her shitty boyfriend who got a personality transplant, so she can be a housewife and take care of orphans (something she did not show any interest in doing prior - remember what I said about Ballerina Farm?)

But yeah sure Shadow Daddy and the BookTok girlies are the problem, I guess

ETA: Look I don't think Le!gh Bardug0 is the devil or anything, at the end of the day, she's one fantasy author, but I think that a) attitudes like hers towards fandom have made the next few generations conservative in ways that they don't even realize, with extremely poor media literacy skills - she's not THE problem, but she's part of it whether she likes it or not; b) given how Rule of Wolves turned out, I'm not really inclined to give her much grace because lecturing your readers because of themes you fumbled yourself is not a good trait to have.

Full offense but it's not normal for someone like Chappell Roan to get the backlash she got for saying that politicians are failing their voters and need to step up their game. When you're in politics, you're serving your people. You are not supposed to be dangling a carrot you can snatch away at every moment. Gen Z and Gen Alpha are conservative, partisan and lack critical thinking skills and it's honestly concerning. Whatever the girlies on BookTok are into should be at the bottom of your list of concerns.

[charmixpower]

what are your hc's when it comes to the specialists hobbies? (+Nabu)

i'm kinda sad we don't really know a lot about them.

YEAH!!! Or if we know their hobbies, WE NEVER GET TO SEE THEM ENJOY THEM??? Unless ur Helia. Pretty people privilege

Sky

Listen, I need you to look at Erendor and Samara and tell me if Sky has a life or any real time for hobbies. The answer is no he does not

Listen dragon equestrian is a thing that exists in the magic dimension and he loves it do not argue with me this man loves it. Riding a dragon and doing tricks, what more could you want out of a sport???

He also spends so much time teaching Lady tricks you'd think he was entering her into a competition. He's not, he is simply having fun

Sky really likes running, and walking. With or without Lady, he is content to run around with this thoughts. It's his favorite form of exercise

I think Sky would enjoy at least some of the royalty approved activities pushed on him, like riding horses and dragons obviously, but also dancing. (Though he would hate learning how to play an instrument or something that required sitting without movement)

I think he'd like the fake duel's and mock battles like fencing over real combat but that's just my version of Sky that lives in my head talking

I don't think Sky is really snobby about anything that isn't tea. Does he argue with other people about which tea tastes the best? Maybe. It's like part because he and Diaspro have opposite tastes in tea and they will argue about anything, part because tea was the only meal he wasn't being hovered over because it's supposed to be a bit more informal than a real meal, half because magix doesn't have all that good tea options

Brandon

He suffers from has no life syndrome too but worse actually bc he's had a government job at 17!!!

Does crafting and maintaining an Instagram presence count as a hobby? I mean I do this as a hobby so I'm gonna say it counts. Making thinking your hot into a hobby, I wish I were him

I have no clue if Brandon genuinely enjoys weightlifting or gymnastics or if he does it because it's literally required of him but I DO think he'd enjoy exercise in general. Like?? He's getting hotter, better able to handle situations, AND it makes him feel great. 10/10 he loves it

I think Brandon would enjoy calligraphy. I have like multiple friends who are on their handwriting bullshit and Brandon would absolutely be one of these people. He'd write exclusively in fancy capital letters while pretending to be Sky, but he also like genuinely knows calligraphy and enjoys it. No one knows cept Sky until Stella wants to write something formally and he writes it for her

Brandon is way too chill of a person, and while I think he's like naturally good at controlling his emotions I also think he does SOMETHING for mindfulness. Reads self help books, does meditation, something that helps him stay so fucking chill all the time

On that topic I also think Brandon likes psychology, like the "why do people act the way they do?" side. Just a little bit, he gets along with way too many insane people to not have at least a little idea

Timmy

He's the least interesting specialist to me in canon so he's where I'm on my bullshit. Listen man we don't need TWO computer wizs, we can have one computer genius and an engineering nerd. For the sake of everyone around Tecna not being the exact same as her AND for my enrichment

Timmy is obsessed with their air crafts. He can talk for HOURS about types of planes, the Owl assigned to their squad is literally his fucking baby and Riven is NOT allowed to pilot it EVER. He lost his mind just a little bit when he's got to pilot a Hawk with Helia, he was so excited. This is definitely his main hobby and why he's in the RF air force track instead of the engineering track, he WILL fly and nothing will stop him

If Legos exist in the magical dimension he's obsessed with them and makes the most insane builds and you know I'm right

Riven absolutely gets Timmy into lock picking. Lock picking is just a logic puzzle that also has a real life application and they spend so much time trying to pick difficult locks when they need a no think thing to do

And speed running, all the specialists have a tendency to just watch him play a video game stupid fast and it's group bonding

Shooting is a sport and one that Timmy enjoys immensely

Riven

Reading. No I'm so serious he's the character shown holding a book the most often. This man reads. Tbh he's probably reading about types of magical animals that specialists are called in to deal with, and their behaviors. That and like lists of forgeable plants

Riven also sews and makes his own clothes! Like it's a restoration thing but also Riven just likes fashion and has very specific ideas for clothes so he just makes them himself.

Riven is the most passionate about sword play and combat. Like it's genuinely fun for him, I think if everyone was set loose they'd drift away from being in the military except Riven. This is his passion. Survivalist stuff is also a huge passion of his. It's his concentration at RF I will never shut up about that hc. His dream job is dealing with magical animal threats in the wilderness, everyone thinks he's just a little insane

That and podcasts. Oh my god the podcasts Riven would have listened to in middle school, cringe worthy, they're EXACTLY what your thinking and it's terrible. Thankfully he listens to calming podcasts and like educational podcasts now, and the occasional true crime one

I'm not sure if lock picking is a hobby for him or if it's just something he HAD to learn, but he takes a lot of pride in it so I'm assuming it's a hobby. Riven likes logic puzzles and that's what lock picking is

Does Riven have an interest in photography or did he print off pictures from Musa's Instagram, the world may never know

Helia

We know the most about his hobbies. Painting, origami, and poetry. Helia is well and truly vibing, and by that I mean I bet you he spends hours agonizing about every detail <3

He probably also has a bullet journal, it's the vibes, do you understand where I'm coming from?

I think Helia would be super into general DIY in every area and at one point he gets Timmy into helping refurbish a chair he found, sometimes he just wants to work on something and that something is a chair he picked up off the curb

Helia definitely picked up how to use his string gloves for fun and to have a body active hobby and he loves it? I think Helia would really enjoy doing things that challenge him and he has the most esoteric weapon so it fits

I also think Helia's glove string weapon is as much of a weapon as it can be used for string art? I think he'd like string art

Helia can parkour and that's on wanting to get the PERFECT angle for his reference piece and know he's 40 ft in the air, Saladin slowly lost his mind when he adopted Helia after his parents died because the kid would not stop climbing on RF

Helia is also a chronic people watcher. At least 70% time when he's people watching he's also drawing them but sometimes he's too tired for that XD

Nabu

Learning about his hyper fixation magic. Listen this man will DEMOLISH a library in a week to learn about the intricacies of runic magic, he is vibrating in his shoes

Okay I know Timmy is the one who you'd assume would like this the most, but I think if you put a ttrpg in front of Nabu he'd fucking love it??? He would either spend 2 million hours world building as the DM or get way into role playing

I think Nabu spends a lot more time fucking around and having fun with his magic than most magic users. Like learning how to make small intricate beautiful things with his magic. I definitely think there would be an art form based around magic that Nabu would be super into that

Nabu absolutely is a history buff too. Like knows about ancient techniques for making things off the top of his head can list most major developments in each century when prompted history buff and I love him

He probably also has a rock collection, this man is autistic and we have rock collections. Sometimes the rocks are magically and that's always exciting

Nabu and Flora spending hours researching a random ass specific phenomenon and having the time of their lives

[meangirlstobin]

Do you have any hcs about Steve and his parents? Or just Steve hcs in general

oh god, do i. i have so many; silly, serious, overlapping, contradicting but i will just stick to my hcs which are (mostly) canon-based.

I've spoken about this before but I tend to hc steve and his mum having a enmeshed/emotional incest dynamic. I think mrs harrington overrelied on steve emotionally and divulged inappropriate details about her relationship with steve's father etc. so, steve and his mother are very close but he isn't fully aware of how damaging their dynamic is because he's more focused on his "asshole" dad, you know? I think steve's relationship with his mother is one of the biggest points of contention between stobin throughout their lives. Robin just wants what's best for steve but she can't understand why he doesn't just cut his mum off!!!

When it comes to mr h my thoughts are less concrete (unless it's about the mr h getting repeatedly kidnapped hc). I don't think he's horribly abusive but I don't think he's a good parent either. He's more emotionally distant than his wife. I typically see him being a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" type. He wants his son to do his best and be the best but he's not going to provide more than the bare minimum that steve needs to get there.

I do think mr harrington has gotten physical before but when they argue I picture him as more of the dismissive type, "why am i even wasting my energy on this/you" kind of vibe.

I also think canon suggests steve's parents being absent (steve falling down the stairs as a baby (how!!!???), he rarely mentions them unless to compain about his dad or the one line about his mum). I don't think it's to the extent we see in fanon but it's definitely more than incidentally. When his parents are home, I think they oscillate between being overbearing yet passive aggressive and living like roommates. Steve has his own life, friends and hobbies and so do his parents but maybe every few days they're all around to have dinner together.

I think steve's parents love him, a lot even, but there are a lot of emotional issues which have complicated and soured the relationship. It's not unfixable nor is it crazy hostile but I think steve often leaves interactions with his parents feeling sad.

Obviously I have my beloved bpd steve hc (came to me in a vision dw about it), so I think steve was a child who had a lot of big confusing emotions that his parents were not equipped to deal with. That coupled with steve's mum being emotionally relient on him I think he drew into himself a lot. He's a social creature so I think he's most present around friends or girlfriends.

There was one interview where joe keery described steve as aloof and I think about that a lot! I think it's a perfect descriptor for him, especially in s1. he's kind yet distant but when he feels connected to someone he can be startlingly emotionally honest (moreso as the seasons progress).

Okay this is really long and i've barely scratched the surface on my hcs lmao but i hope u found this interesting! <3

[fadetouchedsilk]

camellia mercar is the saddest wettest cat of a da protagonist i have and i didn't even get a say in that characterization but here we are. this game is Insane for making it look like everyone else is part of a groupchat that rook wasn't invited to but i guess i'm integrating that & coming out on the other side with something that's crossing into the territory of 'world's most unfortunate being, emotionally.'

anyway here's some comedic depression wherein i crank up the isolated vibes

so like. considerably less fun than Crypt Baby Rook, we have Abandoned Battlefield Baby Rook. which is already a very promising start /s

adoptive family was probably mostly fine? except being an elf it seems that she basically never left the property? which is like alright yeah sure tevinter is just Like That i guess. the important personal takeaway here is that a lot of time would have been spent on her Own and deeply under-socialized. this made her 1. something of a people pleaser and 2. Extremely weird if you paid enough attention for like .5 seconds.

absolutely internalized being Not Very Important at home & carries this for the rest of her life lmao. no one made her follow the 'do not speak unless acknowledged' rule, she put that one on herself.

isolation is The Only Coping Mechanism. she did not have friends, she had a string of pet rats over the years (acquired without permission). several of them were trained to do tricks. she had an abundance of free time by herself to do this.

unsurprisingly she's probably also tried whatever creative solo hobby you can think of

has absolutely internalized her lot in life as being sort of assigned to this role btw

in her mind 99.9% chance that varric assigned her a nickname because he didn't actually remember her name. this cannot be disproven, doesn't actually matter if it's the case.

not actually convinced that any of her fellow shadow dragons know who she is personally? (based on my vague memory of getting the letter from viper but then also the game introducing me to him in conversation like this was the first time we'd met. wild.)

(aside from having a general interest in wanting to make a difference, she also initially found the idea of the shadow dragons appealing because it was a cohesive group working towards a common goal, which felt like a good place to try and meet people right?)

(she does not manage to progress past Work Acquaintances Status with anyone. unfortunately. she justifies this with the idea that 'they probably already know enough people/maybe i wouldn't like hanging out with them anyway/maybe they didn't know if i drank or not and didn't want to make things weird, etc etc)

not invited to group hangouts at the lighthouse--this is an assumption borne of the fact that she's, yknow, pretty preoccupied with making sure we all don't watch the world explode & Die & also the whole 'alone = familiar' thing. it's an Incorrect assumption, she Does want to go to the group hangouts but legitimately has no idea how friendship dynamics operate outside of literal rats.

will say this is 100% fine with her, she's just happy everyone is getting along

(it's not fine. this sentiment is delivered with the energy of someone who is keeping a list of potential 13th reasons)

finds out about book club night after the fact. is trying so very hard to be chill about it, knows that she's stepped out of her typical role as a background character but that doesn't automatically mean that the rest of the status quo will shift along with that. (she is privately not chill about it & is in fact very sad)

you know those people who are very good at asking others about themselves & since they're always around you just Assume that it must be mutual, only to sit there and realize you don't even know what their favourite colour is or like literally anything else about them? yeah.

she wants to ask if anyone knows what her name is for real but is also afraid of the answer lol

you might be asking yourself, why does she allow this to keep happening? why not Say Something? & to that i say, look, we've all been in a situation where we try to make friends with an established group & how awkward that can be even if you're a more secure person. this is like that except she's in real time watching people become better friends with each other (since it's Not an established group) & none of them are choosing her :')

(we love residual childhood wounds) so, so willing to just roll with being the afterthought or more of a Concept of a person who happens to be useful instead of drawing attention to the problem & making things worse (worse how? she doesn't know, it's just the nebulous concept of Worse)

certain that the only two beings she know for sure actually like spending time with her would be Manfred and Assan. assan is food motivated though so that's toeing the line a bit. but manfred definitely likes being around her! that's a win. that's her only win.

she's a genuinely nice person she's just incredibly convinced she's going to go through life Alone & acts accordingly. it's not anyone's fault, that's just how it is.

this becomes painfully funny when she's dealing with solas or solas-as-varric

solas does not have to work hard to convince her that she's the odd man out or spin things to make it look like she's disliked so that he can manipulate her more easily. no no. there's at least a part of every fade conversation where she reveals some sort of crushingly lonely habit she's developed & is weirdly kind of relieved that at least He's taking some time to ask how she's holding up (never mind that this is a verbal hostage situation)

she kills his vibe so hard without trying lmfao.

'god i wish the inquisitor was here,' he thinks for the Nth time that week. 'isenril would have thrown a chair at me by now if i tried this with her. i miss that dynamic. she would just yell at me. i know how to work with that. this just feels. Bad.' it's like kicking a puppy except the puppy has been conditioned to accept it & has settled into resignation.

it's worse when he has to pretend to be varric. small mercy there is that she hasn't spent nearly as much time around him as the inquisitor but god. solas is Not a comforting person.

he's So uncomfortable whenever she sounds like she's going to start crying & has never pivoted to a different subject in a conversation so fast in his life. ('there there. you're uh. you're doing Great i'm sure everyone is noticing.')

like. he's still going to try and switch places with her in the fade at some point but he's not even certain she would argue about it afterwards.

he does not love the fact that she doesn't have Friends at the lighthouse because this means he's the default. he's done a lot of fake-napping mid-conversation with varric. give this man a daytime emmy. (he's cornered himself, no one else can see him so he can't even orchestrate a relationship with someone else to pawn her off on. he's in hell.)

also elgar'nan didn't even say anything specific to tempt her when they faced off lmao. everyone Else got a personalized taunt but not her (do you ever take it personally when even the god who wants you dead can't even bother to find out some basic wants of yours or are you normal)

the way no one checks in on her after minrathous. lol. lmao.

she's not going to hold it over neve for being upset. that would be insane & also she knows she's not being blamed for real, it's just a bad situation.

but also she does feel maybe like everyone Else might be blaming her? maybe just a bit?

guys you know i live there too right. guys. you know i made the decision because i thought that treviso would have the weaker defences & we would have had a better chance right. you know i'm not any more powerful than anyone else & had no way of knowing i would also be destroying My own home, right? Right???

yeah this is one of those moments where she removes herself from the situation and just breaks in private. she doesn't dislike neve at all (she wishes she was cool like that tbh, people seem to like neve much more in general. even the wisps seem to prefer neve over her) but one can only take so much concern for someone who is in the Exact Situation You're In without so much as a word directed your way.

also she feels irrational guilt for the choice so it doesn't help with the whole Feeling Punished thing

(again not like she Knew what would happen!! it seemed the more logical choice based on what she knew)

the catch 22 with withdrawing is that people tend to assume that you don't want them to intrude on your privacy, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy if you already suffer from Terminal Lonely Disease. no one has seen rook since we got back really = she must be fine & not want help so we'll leave her to it = 'oh god they must Really not care about me all that much'

unfortunate situation where like. yeah she probably could have made things more obvious when it comes to connection efforts but also that shouldn't be one-sided effort either you know?

she's also fully expecting this to transfer over to any surviving faction members & if they don't end up hating her for it, it doesn't compute.

the relationship with lucanis is just. a comedy of errors & poorly communicated intentions tbh.

she likes him a lot but because he's the way he is there's no reason to think this is anywhere close to mutual

he remembered what she likes to drink but she also knows that he's the one typically making the grocery lists so like. yeah no shit he remembered she isn't special.

she's not a Confident flirt but the one thing she has going for her is that it's fairly obvious so she's pretty sure he's noticed he's just not into her. which is fine! no expectations so no disappointment!

maybe some disappointment

honestly she feels like she's made more of a connection with spite than anyone else at this point. spite likes her, spite Wants to talk about her. spite would be actively interested in seeing any of the rats she's trained at the lighthouse & would do so without making her feel silly for it.

(she's trained two. the have recall & can jump through a small hoop & she's working on object retrieval. these are new rats she grabbed as coping mechanisms at some point because it felt more reactive than talking to the fish in the tank.)

this only goes so far because of the body sharing thing (she thinks it might be crossing some sort of boundary) but the point is that the Literal Demon is somehow the only being who seems to actively enjoy her presence & make this fact known

unsurprisingly the Almost Kiss makes spite insane. 'lucanis why are you upsetting my best friend rook. are you stupid i think you might be stupid. she's not going to come here anymore do you understand that. she's crying. look at what you did.'

guess who starts aggressively avoiding group mealtimes (on purpose this time not like 'oh sorry everyone already ate, there's leftovers though') & the pantry in general. at some point she just starts her own mini pantry in her room to avoid crossing paths.

you thought she spent time on her own before? you haven't seen the 'i got my hopes up & it went nowhere which i Should have expected so i'm not even mad about it really but i am humiliated & feel very stupid for actually wanting something & don't want to talk about it' version of Isolation yet. it's real bad lmao.

like she's still going out & doing her job and also helping the rest of the team is at least something else to focus on (but gosh it sure would be nice if literally anyone asked if she was doing okay)

spite would like to do that but he's Not Allowed and couldn't be more unhappy lmfao.

(note: this will not even be remotely addressed until after 'inner demons.')

the 'i made you a dessert' lock in scene doesn't translate at alllll. he thinks he's being So Smooth & So Obvious (it's not another gifted knife without context). in his mind this was a success. as far as she's concerned this was literally just about dessert.

slowburn is great. he's treating every conversation like actual relationship progression & she's like. well we're friends again i think i'll just be happy with that much.

low self worth & self doubt keep her stagnant

fade prison break out is. something else. it's been an unpleasant hour for her & a month for everyone else. harding is dead bellara got Grabbed by the blight & solas is Loose. everyone is having a great time. super fantastic.

girl is legitimately surprised there was That much of an effort to find her since she's lost the dagger & solas isn't in her head anymore (not that she's complaining)

atp her only goal is to try & un-fuck everyone's lives as much as she can before something inevitably takes her out (she is not the hof she is not the inquisitor she assumes she Will be dying at some point soon thanks)

fucking news to her that she's apparently been in a relationship for at least the duration of her time in the fade. that talk ends up much the same way as we see it play out but not before a Lot of incredibly distressed clarifications.

this isn't lucanis getting dragged he feels So goddamn bad holy shit. spite feels vindicated finally, he was Correct & his human counterpart really should have just listened to him instead of whatever the fuck he was trying to do.

anyway the lesson here is that you waste a whole lot of time getting wrapped up in your own issues when you Could have been going on actual dates instead (this is a call out for both of them they're both annoying about it)

by the end of things she still doesn't. really feel 100% part of the group lmfao but it's maybe not as terrible?

i also just think as a professor emmrich has had More than enough students break down in his office to recognize her particular flavour of instability. he's probably going to end up putting in some extra effort. perhaps he will even learn about some of her hobbies & even coax her into doing them outside of her room or on one of the private balconies

bellara also likes her i think she just has horse blinder style hyperfixations & forgets regular socialization. time blindness will hit her like a truck. it's fine.

camellia Needs to be explicitly told that she's getting a good grade in friendship, something that's both totally normal to want & possible to achieve

she still doesn't like to tell people about the trained rats though because when she inevitably explains Why she knows how to train rats she realizes as she says it that her childhood was actually probably pretty sad sounding.

actually every time she starts to talk about how she grew up she kind of stops herself halfway through like Huh. actually maybe that wasn't as fun as i remember it being you're looking at me with concern.

anyway she knows how to cross stitch & does watercolours. those are her main things. please show some interest in them she's dying to talk about them but will not take the floor on her own.

please stop calling her rook also she's losing her mind & it's been so long at this point she doesn't know how to address it :')

[ghostsandfools]

Gemini is so neurodivergent I don't know how nobody's talking about it.

OKAY, strap in, this one's gonna be long, and it's gonna be ranty, and I'm going to do it anyways.

Gemini is probably my favorite character... EVER. They are so perfect, I love them so much, I will die on this hill. They are the one constant for me. In this crazy, overly controversial fandom, in this crazy, overly controversial world, we all have one thing we can count on: Gemini. AND THEY GET SO LITTLE SCREENTIME! But that's not why I'm here.

So, almost everyone in TSBS has signs of some sort of mental illness or neurodivergency. This is not new. But I really wanna get into it with Gemini because I feel like nobody cares enough about them!

So, I'm going to split this up into parts. One for Pollux, one for Castor, and one for Gemini. Just to make it easier. LET'S GO!

Pollux:

So, Pollux. The first signs start to show with her when she was first introduced. She's hyper, she's unfocused, she's friendly, she's all over the place. These are very stereotypical, very basic signs of ADHD. HOWEVER, I actually DON'T think she has ADHD. I think she's just hyper sometimes. ADHD is much more that just being a little off the walls, it's a genuine disability that makes it difficult to focus or remember things, and I feel like if you dig deeper, that's not what's going on with her.

I do think that she's neurodivergent, however, in some capacity. Probably autism. I think her and Castor both have autism actually, but I'll get in to him later.

First of all, hyperactivity can also be a sign of autism. And while, when she first comes to Earth it seems as though she can't focus on any specific thing, I think that's because she's focused on Earth as a whole, explaining her interest in anything on Earth. I think learning about and exploring Earth might be one of her special interests, or maybe just exploring planets in general.

Now, the next point might just be due to technical issues, but maybe not. Pollux and Castor both have pretty blank faces, and don't have very many emotes. It may have just been a problem with their 3d modelling, so not the strongest point, but neurodivergent people and people on the spectrum often have difficulty with facial expressions, something I've also struggled with.

Pollux definitely has less neurodivergent coding than Castor does, but I think it's still there.

Castor:

Castor. I don't even know where to start with him.

When Castor was first introduced, he was very unexpressive and monotone, already a symptom of neurodivergency.

He also struggles socially, more so than Pollux. While Pollux was over-bearing, she had no trouble making friends once the chance arose. Castor, on the other hand, was perceived by most of the main cast as "creepy" or "rude", which hits closer to home than I want to admit.

But, over time, it becomes clearer and clearer that he only wants what's best. He doesn't intend to be terse, or rude, or weird, he's just never interacted with anyone that wasn't a star before.

Pollux seemed to adjust well to the environment on Earth once she learned more about the people there, but it seems Castor struggled a lot more with adapting in a new environment.

Castor is also a very private person. He has hobbies and emotions and thoughts, but he keeps them all to himself. Of course, after a while of spending time with Lunar, he starts to speak his mind more, which eventually led up to the last episode we saw him in where he yelled at Lunar for killing Eclipse. Still, I find it interesting that it took an extreme situation like that for him to finally speak his mind.

Gemini:

Gemini <3

Pollux and Castor work extraordinarily well together. They are THE siblings of all time, I love them.

I'm going to delve into headcanons for a minute here, but I feel like the other astrals don't like them very much. We never hear Gemini really talk about the other astrals, aside from basic details.

I feel like, after living with people for your entire life, your SIBLINGS, and those being the ONLY people you interacted with, you'd have some fond memories of them.

But they don't. And even now, there's tension between Gemini and the rest of the astrals. They clearly stand out. The other astrals seem to not take them seriously, and don't exactly listen to them. I feel like, from that recent scene from Taurus, maybe the other astrals, at least some of them, actively DISLIKE Gemini.

This may be why they're so unused to socially interacting on Earth. They probably spent very little time with their siblings, especially considering Nebula's existence. Maybe their siblings didn't visit them at all. That thought makes me sad.

Feeling outcasted is commonplace for neurodivergent people, as well as being perceived wrong.

Closing thoughts: Okay, I might be projecting here. I'm not sure. As someone who is neurodivergent, I identify with Gemini harder than any other fictional character. They're so special. I don't know if I'm picking up on subtext that isn't there, but if you have any thoughts, please share. I wanna know what you guys think.

[dufferpuffer]

I know people have a problem with bookworm!remus because he only is seen reading one book in canon (even though I don’t think that’s a fair reason to completely dismiss that hc) but I often think about the fact that for all of his childhood before hogwarts he literally didn’t have any friends and couldn’t even really interact with other kids, if that’s his situation it makes a lot of sense to be giving him hobbies like being interested in movies (though I don’t think he’d have easy access to them given the whole wizard thing), music and books. I mean it’s very common for lonely children to take interest in books because it’s a way to live in another world where characters can give you comfort, I really don’t think it’s a stretch to hc Remus as a bookworm. I also recognize that the pushback might be coming from frustrations with fanon in general, as fanon Lupin apparently doesn’t look much like canon Lupin (I wouldn’t really know I don’t really interact with that side of the fandom) but still I feel like it might be misdirected anger.

Oh! Oh oh! I LOVE bookworm Remus! I love 'does little crafts' Remus! Baby Remus reading books and colouring in and staying inside all the time - because he can't go make friends with the other kids - and they are scared of his scars, anyway!

I LOVE 'Remus that has a soft spot for fiction'! He doesn't' get to have friends growing up, he doesn't get to have many friends as an ADULT - and he is always acting a role... why not those roles be based on characters in the many books he has read? Plus books are cheap, easy to carry and easy to replace.

'Learned how to cook and clean muggle-style because he was at home with a sickly mother and wanted to help scrub the rental property before they had to move again' Remus!

I have a HC that he grew up with music and the radio I find it hard to believe they would carry a TV with them from house to house when they need to move so often - maybe a small black and white? Ha, baby Remus watching Dr Who in the 60s... It's a shame the 3rd Doctor started when Remus was going off to Hogwarts - I think he would have liked him...

I don't know if there is a backlash on bookworm Remus as much as there is on smart Remus. Like... smartest of the bunch Remus. Because thats just not true - and isn't how he is as an adult, either. He really isn't that studious or... idk... research-y...? Albus and Severus are pushing the boundaries of magical knowledge in the fields they are interested in. Sirius and James were child genius' doing the near-impossible. Remus... doesn't do that. He is specifically excluded from that.

But Remus isn't DUMB. He knows his stuff. We DO see him with his nose in a book, and I think that MEANS something. It just doesn't have to mean much. "Remus likes books" Or "Remus studies even when outside"

But it will always be hilarious how the text goes "James and Sirius were INCREDIBLY smart and RIDICULOUSLY talented, doing things that were basically impossible" And yet people go "Remus was the brains. He read... a book"

[damntheyare]

your dad Alastor makes me cry really hard (and laugh a little lol)

let me just say my full opinion about Alastor dad - just my vision/headcanon for the full understanding that I started to have, based on fan facts from the fandom wiki - I consider him a mentally unstable egoist (even his aroace thing comes from the fact that he loves only himself lol) with a low degree of empathy (because you are unlikely to be very kind when you killed half your life and then the same amount after life), he is not a fan of useless cute things, he is more like the one who kicks a puppy and feels normal from this. friendship comes easily to him, because he sees it as entertainment + benefit, since “we can adequately talk with you on general topics”, we can build a profitable business that will be based on some “general confidence” - simple a form of relationship that benefits him or provides some form of entertainment (just think that all his friends are cute, slightly crazy ladies with whom he can talk about both funny things and murder while sitting over a mug of something), love is more complicated for him , because there are a lot of emotions in which control is required, but in an established long-term relationship, his love is expressed as “selfishness for two” - like "all the privileges that I have for myself, I transfer to you, and you become part of my space" but again, at the core of it all there is something interesting/useful to him. With Charlie it’s fun, calm, funny, common interests, status privileges (and sometimes we kiss, oh my God) - "I understand why I need\want this and what I get from it." BUT A CHILD is a small, useless creature, of which there is no use, nothing can be done with a child, it is impossible to establish adequate contact, share interests (you know, eating raw venison and killing, not exactly children's hobbies), so Alastor is not interested in a small child, he doesn't need them for anything, again Alastor would rather just tolerate them, like "ok, as long as you don't get in the way, it's acceptable." As a not entirely healthy person (understatement of the century), does not have a developed sense of complicity in this topic with the child, he looks at them and does not think “wow, we did this together, this is my blood” / he just looks and says: “ Hey, you're annoying me." If you tell him “but this is your child, you must love them”, it will not make any sense to him. But the child would still like to attract the attention of his father ,they tries to be interested in the same things as Alastor (like maybe they will want to know about his favorite music or will begin to be interested in dark magic, and so on) and then Alastor may already be interested in them and they will have a more or less good relationship, but still not family, but rather mentoring. Bonus - Alastor had a moment when he was "kind" - once when Lucifer was looking after Lamb and was like "who's your favorite grandpa, you love me the most" and of course Alastor turned on the competitive part of his brain and was like "no, they love me more than anyone" and walked the kid all day just so they wouldn't hang out with grandpa.

[hectic-hector]

I am not naming any of her victims out of respect for their privacy and safety, but if they wish to come forward in the comments, they are free to do so. I've been informed that @angelbabyspice has gone through her feed to delete the posts she has made for the sole purpose of mocking and bullying people, which doesn't surprise me. I do not condone doxxing bullies or threatening to contact their employers (except in extreme circumstances where local law enforcement should also be involved, e.g. terroristic threats, stochastic terrorism, intentionally driving a person to become suicidal). I hope @angelbabyspice sees this message, because I want to tell her a few things: 1. "I don't want to see it" Nobody is forcing you to see it. You are free to scroll right past it, just as we are free to blaze a post if we so wish. We all see things we don't want to see, but we are smart enough to know that we have the ability to look away and move on with our lives. You are making the choice to not only look at art you don't like, but to obsess over it to the point that you spend hours of your time harassing those who create and share it. You are choosing to do this to yourself when you could have just kept scrolling and forgotten about it. This is on you. Don't blame other people for YOUR issues. 2. You had said in another post that people should at least lust after someone "fuckable" like Gojo. I looked him up, and he is as generic-looking an anime character as they come, in my personal opinion. But that's all it is: my opinion. I would never mock you or anyone else for being a fan. If I don't have something nice to say, I don't say anything at all, because I know how it feels to be mocked and ridiculed for my love of a fictional character, and unlike you, I DO NOT want to make other people feel the same way. 3. So, you're really tired of getting messages from people who claim you're "trolling", eh? You ARE trolling, in fact you're straight up bullying with the sole intent of trying to make people ashamed of their own completely harmless hobbies and interests for no reason at all. You. Are. Trying. To. Hurt. People. Where on earth did you get the idea that what you're doing is even remotely okay? Where did you get the idea that your victims are demented and YOU'RE the rational one? 4. WE'RE really tired of YOU making dozens of posts about us in order to mock us behind our backs. It doesn't need to be a direct message. What you are doing is cowardly and cruel. There is NOTHING to be gained by treating people the way that you do. You are literally complaining about the fact that we are standing up for ourselves against your smear campaigns, which we are all well within our rights to do. You have a lot of nerve trying to make yourself out to be the victim in all of this. YOU made the choice to be a bully; you can make the choice to stop, own up to what you've done, apologize, and move on in a healthier direction in life. Wouldn't you rather have friends and allies than enemies? 5. I have no idea who doxxed you, but I know it's not the person you suspect, because we are both very much AGAINST doxxing. I am sorry that happened to you, but honestly, what did you expect? You have done nothing on Tumblr but go out of your way to treat other people like garbage. You have proudly made it your mission to hurt and humiliate them, and you know this. Where on earth did you get the idea that this wouldn't backfire on you? 6. Actions have consequences. Respect must be earned. You are bullying innocent people whose hobbies have NO effect on you whatsoever. There are so many horrible things happening in the world today: war, famine, hate crimes, animal abuse, child abuse, etc. etc., but total strangers sharing their love for fictional characters is the hill you are choosing to die on? Really? Churchill once said that a person is only as big as the things that make him mad. Think about what this says of you.

[velvetvexations]

something that has ALWAYS bothered me about the idea that transmascs unilaterally benefit from male privilege is that....it doesn't make any effort to understand a person as a whole person, or their experiences as having been formative.

let's take a hypothetical trans man who passes as cis 100% of the time, in all settings, and who started transitioning right before his first period. you (general) could very well argue that he has male privilege in a job search, or in social settings, whatever you want!

but we know that teachers can subconsciously direct girlchildren away from male dominated fields like math and science. we know parents will often assign girlchildren chores that need to be done more frequently (making dinner, washing dishes, doing laundry) and boychildren chores that are done less often (mowing the lawn, cleaning the gutters). he may well have been discouraged or barred from the boy scouts and pushed into the girl scouts. he may have been wearing clothes that are more fragile or revealing; the way he ambulates and operates will be different because of that. (we've seen how girlchildren are taught not to "reveal themselves" even at toddler ages!) his hobbies, interests, friends, everything are influenced by being A Girl for those formative years.

even in the ultra ideal, 100% passing, transitioned as early as possible scenario, there are vestiges of girlhood that restrict full, unconditional access to male privilege. it isn't a privilege to have to play catch-up to align with your peers!

and as they get older? if you start transitioning at 30, it isn't easier to pursue a career in science when your k-12 experience had teachers dissuading you from it, and that carrying into college. "men having higher paying jobs" isn't just individual - it's about higher paying fields being more open to men from very young ages!

all this rambling to say: the cashier or the dmv worker or the new friend thinking a trans guy is cis doesn't negate that, for a time, he was not raised as a boy, and unconditional access to all elements of social manhood was stunted or stripped from birth.

there are so many problems with the worldview and this is a very well articulated look at one of them, great job anon <3