#Have some random XYZ feelings today.

[95jezzica]

PokéAni Serena

You know, the more I look back at the XY(Z) anime the more sad I get for Serena.

Everything with her was written to be focused on Ash. The motivation, personality... Everything. To be clear there’s nothing wrong with having a crush at the age of 10y old (I assume that’s her age in the anime, anyway) - it happens for a lot of kids who aren’t on the aro and/or ace spectrum. BUT! the writing team basically made the crush Serena’s entire personality and focus. Everything she did was connected to Ash in one way or another.

Her friendship/big-sister relationship with Bonnie is cute, but at times it feels very surface-level. The writing team could have worked a bit more with that. Also, giving Serena some deeper friendship driven episodes with Clemont wouldn’t have hurt either. - Because holy shit, all of them are travelling together for... what, a year? A few months at the very least? We’re supposed to believe they’re friends, but the anime focuses so much on Serena’s feelings for Ash that they forget to give the rest of the team more (and deeper) interactions with each other, too.

I know a lot of XY(Z) anime enjoyers like to hate on the BW anime, and it’s not without it’s own faults, but at least Cilan and Iris actually build a friendship with each other. Not just with Ash, even if he obviously still has a lot of focus as the Main-Main character.

Now, it would be wrong to say Serena and Clemont aren’t friends - they obviously are - but I wish the writing team actually gave us more moments/scenes where we see Serena and Clemont build it up. Even if not entire episodes, I would have loved to see more scenes focused on Serena building her relationships with Bonnie and Clemont. That’s a start, at least. To give Serena some focus and motivation outside of Ash, especially since Ash was given a more mentoring role in the XYZ anime than in previous seasons.

Having a crush isn’t a bad thing. I don’t mind Serena having a crush on Ash. I just wish the writing team also gave Serena more focus/personality/motivation outside of Ash as well. A character shouldn’t be written just to have a crush on the main-MC character.

Serena deserved better than the writing she got, and I guess what really saddens me in the end. To see all that wasted potential.

.

[ash-says]

Tips on how to dodge personal questions in a Professional Setting:

I know. I know. I said I will be on a break and I still stand by that but it was difficult to throw away the sudden surge of motivation so here I am.

I received a request to make a post on this long back so here is your girl serving it. Honestly I am not much of an expert at it either but I have some ways that work sometimes so here goes nothing.

1) Do not give in to the pressure.

Literally that's the starting point. Whenever someone asks us a personal question we feel obligated at some level to answer because of xyz reasons. That's why we first need to escape the pressure of answering.

2) Straightforwardly and Politely state I am not comfortable answering that.

The bulletproof method. No explanation needed.

3) If you are in a situation where the person is being really nosy and can't take a no for an answer. Try saying to them,"I don't understand how it's relevant to our topic of discussion."

4) If you are not in a position to decline at all which happens when the person asking the question is of higher authority and has influence in this situation give vague answers that lead nowhere.

Example: So are you dating anyone?

It's tough to say in particular you know the dating scene nowadays it's difficult to put a name on anything.

Or what do you do on your weekends?

Nothing just the usuals. I am an office worker after all.

This creates a sense of familiarity with the crowd but at the same time does not reveal anything in precision.

5) Turn the topic on them. One of the smartest things you can do is make them the central focus. People love to talk about themselves so it works most of the time until you come across someone truly smart.

Example: hey how's the new office? Are you liking it here?

Ans: Well I am still getting used to the environment here. What about you? How long have you been working here?

6) Another thing you can do is dance around the topic but not on the topic. You remember how you used to write a 1 mark question for 5 marks exactly like that. Tell the prequel and sequel of the question but never answer the exact question.

7) This one is kinda rude I won't suggest doing it around randomly but if you have been in the corporate space for sometime you would know that there are some people who like to ask things only to belittle you or spread gossip or to be mean. The jealous ones that don't have a life of their own.

In case they ask something or say something rude or cross a boundary just start singing a song or change the topic completely. Don't acknowledge anything they say and continue with your random talks or humming. Trust me it's the easiest way to get rid of them.

Still some are persistent and will try to get an answer. Simply say it's not worth discussing. It's boring.

8) Apart from that there are subtle things you can do which can create a persona that conveys you are not open towards personal questions. You can do it by simply detaching yourself whenever someone starts talking about their personal lives. Don't be a participant or a listener. It gives a que you are not looking to bond personally and many other similar things.

9) If you are truly in a toxic work culture where your colleagues seem to constantly bug and bully you to share personal stuff (happened with me in my previous workplace) Firmly state,"I come here to work not to make personal relations."

10) Ignore.

I hope it helps even a little there's not much we can do without offending the other person but we can be gentle and polite in our tone and gesture that's the only way.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[scummy-writes]

Ikemen Tier List

whoaaa two posts together whoaaa (you guys didn't witness me doing this first to see if I had the energy to post a finished drabble today)

I've had trouble with the tier lists for a while because I feel like it didn't explain how I felt about these dudes half of the time, but I figured out a better way to mark the tiers and I feel like this sums it up great. And now you too can have a handy dandy 'How does Scum feel about X?' list! If Roderic had a sprite, I would put him in the daily thing, or maybe the top one? hm

Anyway, I'm gonna explain the tiers under the cut for extra clarifications.

[*Wants to write fanfics for 24/7*] : The Current Main Blorbo. All tremble before him - for he holds the writing braincell and he's all anyone hears about forever and ever - until another blorbo takes his spot (usually takes a few years). You'll see him as icons and photos and and and--------

On my mind daily, in some form: Sometimes these characters will be paired with the #1 chara, and so by extension they're thought about often. Sometimes they're not paired with them, but still thought about often. Despite my posting habits, I do enjoy these guys still. A lot, actually.

Think about a few times a week, offhandedly: Rubs chin. I think of Chev and Elbert as a rare comfort. A type of quiet one that is a plesant encouragement in some way or another. Or I get perplexed thinking about how they'd look ordering shitty coffee. Not much of an inbetween. But really I sometimes just enjoy the quiet comfort thoughts when i need them with those two.

Think about a few times a month: They used to be higher up in the faves, but I either got enough of them at some point (in a good way), friends love them with such glee that i just enjoy watching them simp for them, or they just got naturally shifted down in the line as more characters came into view. I won't talk about them much but I do like em in multiple ways.

Scared to think about (for my wallet): legally not allowed to like because I cannot max out my credit card (a joke). I really really really like Alfons and Victor but I am terrified they'll shoot the ranks in a couple of months, and that my wallet will be screaming to be spared (darius is still up for debate)

Want to like but (and/or for reasons cannot): hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Random simping once a blue moon (idk why): I read a translated story of roger once when sitting in my car on a lunch break. I was reading as I was getting out, and nearly fell into the horn when reading about his cock. It tormented me for a week. This happens ocassionally with the others... maybe not a translated story, but i'll have a random thought that hits me like a bullet train and suddenly I'm stumbling and struggling to think about anything else for a bit. (Leonardo is here as punishment, he knows what he did)

Was Favorite when playing but ghosted game: Ikerev was the first(?) cybird game I played, followed very very closely by ikesen. I don't see a lot of stuff for them naturally on my dash, and bluntly ikerev just could not hold my attention especially after I lost my data and got cockblocked by shitty gacha pulls, but I hardcore simped for these dudes when I played. Well, jonah did get pushed to the bottom of that tier fairly quickly, but Shingen is still #1 there. Anju (oc) was originally made for him, and I suspect that when his...eternal(?) is released in eng, I'll be feral for a little bit and then go back to gil simping.

No opinion really: I just.....shrug. They're neither bad nor good. These are characters who I was either SUPER excited for and then sorely disappointed, characters I haven't felt drawn to, or characters I just....never....felt anything towards...even after reading their route... I'm assuming they're just not my type and that's why they're here.

No: I hold negative opinions due to XYZ personal reason. Or their vibes are just rancid to me. I don't care if others like them or not, I don't judge others for liking them.

[urhoneycombwitch]

Rockstar!Eddie x assistant/manager!reader who likes Eddie, because unlike some other rockers, he minds his p's and q's, doesn't run off to god knows where with God knows who at all hours of the night, isn't overly demanding, but the damn boy jist won't let them do their job!

he wants to follow assistant!reader around like a puppy even when they're trying to tell him no! you've got rehearsal and I have to go do xyz! Or trying to go out on a date and assistant reader is like, if I want my salary, I have to abide by the contract that says I can't get involved with the contract and Eddie's trying to use his Bambi eyes like 🥺🥺 but what if we talked about the music? Isn't that still contract abiding? Just, you know, wear something nice and I'll pick you up from your room at 8. And they're like 🙄 you're going to get me in trouble, but Eddie doesn't mind them threatening his ass, because he'll pay their salary out of pocket and honestly, a person in charge turns him on (which is why he keeps pestering so assistant!reader can keep telling him off)

verrrryyyyyy this!!!??

assistant!reader who is totally neurotic/anal about everything, like perhaps seek an OCD diagnosis bestie (but it’s 1990 and no one has time for that!!)

you get hired to drag their asses to places on time but also bc you graduated top of your communications class and can get them into any building anywhere. you and eddie have a whole “do you even know who you’re TALKING TO” routine that you’ve perfected over the years.

It literally took him months to wear you down into not calling him Mr. Munson anymore. you were trying to be PROFESSIONAL while also tamping down your massive crush on Eddie.

it’s a sitch of eddie fell first and loudly but you fell… near-silently. Over the course of two 30-state tours. Bc he’s your CLIENT. You CANT do anything about your little crush. Even IF he flirts with you like it’s his job. Even IF you accidentally walked in on him changing one time and all he did was grin wolfishly at you and asked if you liked what you saw.

morning pre-show meetings w the whole team where the band is half asleep from drunken escapades the night previous but they all show up 9am (mostly) sharp bc they knew Eddie promised to flay them alive if they didn’t make your meeting.

and he’s sitting at the head of the conference room table, boots staggered on the ground, all dark denim and black leather, smoking a cigarette with his morning coffee, looking like he wants to eat you up as you pointedly ignore him so you can get through your little whiteboard spiel

and when you cap the dry erase pen and turn on your heel all efficient to the assembled team chirping “Okay, any comments or questions?” Eddie is raising two fingers in the air casually. And when you call on him with an apprehensive “Yes, Eddie?” (bc you’re expecting pushback on the schedule you’d just painstakingly outlined) he throws you for a loop when he instead says “You’re looking very pretty today, angel 🙂”

Leaving you sputtering, grabbing at some random papers on the table to shakily stack- ���Any other comments or questions?”- immediately followed by Eddie raising his hand again, so you tack on “About the schedule? 🙄” and his hand goes down.

and as the marketing head takes over you can FEEL Eddie grinning at you from the corner of your eye and you’re really not trying to give him the satisfaction of your attention but it’s getting harder to deny his charms w each passing day 🫠🫠🫠

[raveneira]

Random but i miss 2020/21/22 when the KawaSara fandom was so active, now i barely see people talking about them or making content. Someone needs to bring back the KawaSara fandom somehow😭.

Ikr? its not much but I am trying to bring the fandom back to life as best I can but Im pretty much a one woman army lol plus a lot of personal life stuff has had me busy which hindered my efforts a bit that Im trying to make up for now, starting with hosting this years KawaSara week since the original organizers didn't do it last year and didn't appear to be going to this year either, so I took over because I knew we had support, fans were telling me how sad they were that it didn't happen last year and was begging for someone to organize it this year, so I took that upon myself to do because I didn't wanna see the week not happen this year either because nobody else stepped up to make it happen.

It sucks how so many got run off by bsa constantly harassing them and making them fearful of even making content for the ship because they knew they would get harassed and didn't wanna deal with it.

Alot of ppl also lost faith in the ship, which is understandable, but stupid IMO because there are ships that have gone through worse than KawaSara and became canon but for some reason ppl treated this like 'oh no, conflict, no way this is happening' and Im just like...danm yall really don't know how shipping works huh? but I mean to each their own but like Vegebul is right there if you wanna see a ship thats been through some REAL shit and look at em now.

It's like todays new age shipping everything has to be smooth sailing, super healthy, super pure, minimal to no conflict, for ppl to ship it and believe it'll be canon when that just isn't how it goes.

Like I even saw a shade tweet one time talkin about 'I actually like my ships vanilla, whats wrong with actually wanting a healthy ship built on mutual respect and positive development without any conflict or drama etc' and Im just like...OK? who tf said you couldn't? but these newbies actually treat shipping like some purity contest and have a weird superiority complex for liking the 'healthier' ships and anyone who doesn't like the 'healthy' ship are weird and horrible and don't care about xyz characters etc

Its so dumb, and childish, if all storytellers followed their logic then we wouldn't have some of the best ships in fiction because only the 'healthy' ones would be canon.

Nobody is saying they cant like healthy ships, but doing so does not make them superior to anyone else nor does it give them the right to dictate what other ppl should ship simply because they disagree and think only healthy ships should be supported, thats what ppl have a problem with. You can argue the opposite side has done the same but there is a big difference in severity between the two, 'healthy' shippers act way more superior and aggressive than 'toxic' shippers [as they call them] are.

But on the bright side KawaSara week has been announced to be happening this year and a surprising amount of ppl liked and retweeted it, so it just goes to show KawaSara fans DO still exist and enjoy the ship, they just went quiet or into hiding because of the harrassment.

And guess what? even tho the event page was specifically tagged KAWASARA don't you know antis 'somehow' found it? not even a day passed since it was posted before multiple antis flocked to the announcement to talk shit, that is a prime example right there why KawaSara fans got so quiet and discouraged from making content and talking about the ship, because THIS is what happens when you dare not fall in line with the BoruSara hivemind cult.

If you dont treat Sarada like Borutos exclusive property whos whole world and character revolves around him, then you don't care about Sarada or her feelings

Their logic not mine, so if you dare pair Sarada with someone other than Boruto who they believe owns her, then you don't care about her. If you don't support the narrative THEY set for her regardless if its been confirmed or stated as a canon fact or not, then you don't care about her because fanon interpretations > canon.

This is why I say this behavior screams insecure, I dunno how you could be the most popular ship with the biggest fandom and the most support, a hug in both the anime and manga, being 'fed good' more than any other ship, yet still be THIS triggered by KawaSara just EXISTING

keep in mind this is the ship they claim is dead, a crackship with zero chance of happening, yet they get so riled up everytime KawaSara is mentioned or so much as have a crumb together they all flock to try and discredit and undermine it, if KawaSara fans just have even a tiny bit of fun and happiness with the ship they come flocking to discourage you and make you feel bad.

That level of obsession with a ship you claim has NO CHANCE and is a non threat because your ship is already canon and set in stone, admit it or not, but their behavior screams that their threatened and arent really confident in their ship themselves which is why they feel the need to try and keep KawaSara down to lift themselves up because its the only way they feel secure, by making US go away, and when we don't, they get mad, because for some odd reason they just cant stand to see another shp besides BoruSara getting attention, love, and support, it drives them MAD.

Which is why you cant convince me their not insecure about their ship, that their not threatened by KawaSara, because to put it into perspective think about it like this, do you see SNS being bothered by SasuHinas existence? no right? know why? cuz their secure in their ship and don't feel threatened by SH, so SH is free to exist openly without SNS harassing them because they don't care, SH is irrelevant and has zero impact on them.

Thats how you would think BoruSara would be given how they boast about themselves, how much they have going for em, their popularity, their support, many moments, you'd think they'd be on cloud 9 not even paying little ol KawaSara and BoruSumi any mind but they do, and for some reason its KawaSara especially that gets under their skin more than anything which is strange tbh since thats the ship thats not even semi canon yet.

Lemme put that into perspective, they are more insecure about a ship thats not even semi canon yet, than BoruMitsu, BoruSumi, KawaAda and BoruAda that are semi canon [since many bsa also ship ksu] let that sink in.

I dunno why they have such a specific hatred towards KawaSara, maybe its because a lot of them hate Kawaki, and because Boruto is the top male prize and Sarada is the top female prize in their eyes, therefore nobody else is good enough for them but each other. And by top prizes, Im talking primarily about eugenics and status.

Read between the lines, what was Sakura? the pretty girl all the guys wanted, what was Sasuke? the cool handsome guy from a prestigious clan all the girls wanted, now what is Sarada? the cool pretty Uchiha princess, what is Boruto? the cool young lord all the girls fall for, their not subtle about it at all.

They discredit Sumire's feelings as insincere so she don't feel like a threat, they diminish and downplay Kawakis bond with team 7 and insist he's not even a part of it, they weirdly were fixated on Kawaki's body being inorganic and therefor concluding he was infertile and therefore couldn't have kids and therefore that'd be the end of the Uchiha clan if she was with him [which is telling of how they perceive her that her primary goal in the relationship would be popping babies, not love] they deny Kawaki as a part of the Uzumaki fam, saying he's unworthy, Naruto should disown him, etc etc, to keep him as the worthless orphan that deserves to die they want him to be.

Again, read between the lines, they dont give a danm about Boruto and Sarada together fr fr, this ship is about eugenics, this ship is about being able to brag about the young lord baggin the Uchiha heiress/Hokage, its about bragging rights, its about having the ship with the 2 biggest prizes, its about OP babies finally fulfilling their long weirdly held desire to see what those clan bloodlines mixed together would create, its about saying you don't want SS 2.0 except when its the ship you want then suddenly its A-ok

Foh man

Sorry I went on a bit of a rant but It really is annoying that KawaSara fans cant just exist in peace and always gotta hear them telling us why we shouldn't ship it, why it has no chance, why BoruSara is so superior and set in stone and we should just accept it yatta yatta yatta instead of just minding their danm business.

Yes I know all fandoms are guilty of this, but none like BoruSara, why? cuz its a far bigger fanbase with more support and they use it to their advantage, doesn't help that a lot of boruto stans support the ship as well as many Sarada fans [mostly Boruto stans tho] they even have SS and NH support too, so you cannot compare it. Their a much larger fandom with way more support that makes it extremely easy for them to bully every other fandom because their much smaller and they know it, everyone knows it, but they get away with it cuz whos gonna stop em? their the biggest and the loudest and therefore are right by default because the smaller fandoms are just 'haters' and 'jealous' 😒 lemme stop here

Bottom line I agree, it was nice back then before Ikemoto changed so much when he took over the writing after Kodachi left, ever since then he has completely butchered Sarada's character beyond recognition, not because she understandably cares and worries about her friend, but because thats ALL she cares and worries about, I don't think anyone has even noticed that Sarada hasn't mentioned Naruto or her mother once since the timeskip started besides that one speech that wasn't about either of them, but just about her defending Boruto, not about any grief over her idol being killed, not remorse for sending her dad away and leaving her mom without her husband, no the one and only time she mentions them is to defend Boruto which is abusmal, she didn't even mention her own dad until Boruto MADE her ask about him.

If thats the ship you want me to support then Im good, I don't want a ship where her only personality trait, motivations, goals, and character as a whole revolves entirely around a man and nothing else, just how to make HIS life better and being there for HIS pain and growth and only lifting HIM up while staying in the background doing nothing and having nothing going on for herself.

I know this may sound like 'but wait that makes it sound like KawaSara wont be canon' no Im not saying that, KawaSara is not off the table even with all that bs Ikemoto has done so far, like I said with Vegebul and just shipping in general, just because things look bad doesn't mean you lost, you haven't lost until somethings made official.

Are BoruSara together? no, are they semi canon? no, have either of them been shown or confirmed to have romantic feelings for each other? no, so nothing is lost yet, even if they were semi canon that still wouldn't be a loss because the other half has to reciprocate, like just cuz Sakura, Ino, and Karin liked Sasuke didn't mean he had to reciprocate any of them, just like even if Sarada liked Boruto doesn't mean he has to reciprocate those feelings or vice versa.

The only time a ship has truely 'lost' is when its actually dead, like one half of it dies for example, or its rival ship gets together, or their relationship is ruined beyond repair, like to the point of no possibility of redemption, only then has a ship truely 'lost' and 'died'

So no, none of this is me saying KawaSara cant still happen, it definitely can, especially with Ikemoto and Kishimoto saying Kawaki would be getting more development soon so there's that, if we get more Kawaki focus there might be some Sarada focus in there too in between. I don't wanna speculate tho but thats just a possibility Im throwing out there.

Regardless, sorry for the rant, but I'm really frustrated by this too because its 2024 now and ppl still cant leave KawaSara tf alone? thats what I meant when I said they take advantage of their size, they know they can silence us, but nobody can silence them, and that pisses me off but what can you do.

But hopefully the announcement of KawaSara week this year will get the fandom active and making content again for fans to enjoy, I will try to contribute something myself, I can understand why a lot of ppl might not wanna bother because of the hate they know they'll receive but I hope they don't let that stop them, it was bad enough KawaSara week wasn't hosted last year and everyone was really bummed about it, I don't want them to be happy seeing it happen this year only to not participate because antis wont let them have fun and enjoy the event in peace 🙏 I really hope the fam stays strong and don't let antis stop them from enjoying THEIR event.

[callioope]

fencing update. this post is a bit rambling.

Something that is very different about the new place I fence, compared to the original place I fenced 15+ years ago: people feel incredibly comfortable giving unsolicited advice.

While I perceive this is coming from a good place and they are trying to be helpful, it's a bit disconcerting to me. Fencing already involves so much complex coordination, and there's so much to think about while doing it, and now every week it seems, someone is telling me that I need to work on XYZ. It's very overwhelming.

Like I sometimes feel a bit self-conscious about just how often I say "well it's been fifteen years" (like shut up Liz you've said this already), but then I say it because I sometimes feel like people expect me to know or remember certain things and I basically get defensive like, cut me some slack please!

I said this once when someone was offering advice, and they were like, "Well but you fenced before, right?"

And it's like: listen. I fenced consistently for about five years. Then I went to college and came back only every couple of months, and had a brief semester of participating in the fencing club someone was trying to start on campus (not a great experience). It's probably been at least 15 years since that last 'visiting for the holidays' fencing session. It's probably been 17 years since I was taking regular lessons. That means that at best, the amount of time I haven't been fencing is double the amount of time I was fencing. It could by some calculations be triple it, depending on what you count as my official last day.

That is a long time! Like I fenced a person today who was probably born after the last time I fenced (before I started back up again this year).

I just don't feel like people appreciate just how rusty I really am. Sure, I've been back for four or five months now, but that does not make up a 15-17 year gap.

All this to say, trying to remember information I haven't used for 15 years is overwhelming enough. Things like how to time attacks properly, etc. Then there's the fact that I'm not in the same shape as I used to be -- in my peak I was fencing 3x per week -- and my body is also just older. I don't have the reaction time I used to. Recovering from lunge position back to en garde probably takes longer.

Then pile on top of this, getting different advice from multiple people about what I should work on -- it's just A Lot. It's a lot to keep track of!

And I'm supposed to be doing this for fun. I'm mainly trying to work on accepting losing and remembering that getting a work out by brandishing a sword is freaking fun. It is! But it's more challenging to do that when people are commenting on my technique.

As I mentioned at the beginning, I don't remember this happening at my old fencing school. Perhaps the difference is that we were all younger, and the couch was a more obvious and distinct authority -- we left it to the coach mainly to, well, coach! Now there were some people who gave unsolicited advice, but as I recall they were the, ah, rather more arrogant types and they were not nice about it. Now, it's a class primarily of adults, more than half of which are 40+.

Oh, and the other part is that: in a model where the coach is primarily the person instructing a student on what to work on, they can approach their growth and learning in a more structured way. Work on this technique first for foundation, then go to this, then this, etc. But if every person is offering their own advice -- well, how do I filter that? How do I prioritize?

The answer I've come to is that I'm going to try to start keeping a journal. Here are highlights of what felt good today. Here was what I decided to work on myself, and how successful that was. Here is what the coach's lesson's focused on, and how successful that was. Here is what random person suggested. And then just collate that and make a list of what's important to me.

But finally, I don't have any intentions right now of competing in official tournaments. So, maybe I also need to work on just letting things roll off my back. Thanks for the advice, file it away, and just don't think about it. That's hard for me, but maybe something worth attempting.

[crowblincray]

So random rant/tangent.

I guess TW for trauma and heavy subject matter.

It's really fucking sad and messed up that some people view trauma as a competition.

There is no prize to win from your misery trumping someone else's!

All you are doing is invalidating someone else's struggles.

I'm sorry you went through what you did, but looking down on others because "you didn't have it near as bad as I did" is just plain fucked up.

Wishing to see children be abused and harmed because "back in My day/ when I was a kid..." that's fucked up dude.

Wishing ill on others, delighting in the suffering of others because it makes you feel superior, that's not cool. That's sadistic.

I hate that the obvious has to be spelled out like that, but pain and trauma have become so normalized.

Applauded even.

Hearing a person who shaped your childhood screaming that your feelings about your abuse doesn't matter. Because they went through xyz and you are "no better than they are" and Deserve to go though the same shit they did.

It's sick.

Wanting worse for the generation after you and being angry that you're being held accountable for your toxic behavior is messed up.

I'd ask you to seek help, but if you don't even realize you're broken.

It doesn't have to be this way.

Stop glorifying the horrors.

Stop putting abusers on a pedestal in your mind.

"It wasn't always bad, they did good things for me sometimes."

Yeah, that's the part that really messes you up too.

I know, I've been there. I hero worshipped and idolized my abuser through most of my life.

It took a Lot to get me where I am today.

And it's heartbreaking because if that person was even Half the person they pretended to be, they would be absolutely amazing.

But I had to accept the reality of it and go no contact, so that I could survive.

There are no awards, no medals, no trophies.

Stop competing with fellow victims!

If someone shares their story of hardships and what have you, just shut up and listen.

Lift others up, don't be another boot on the throat of those that have already been trampled.

Do better, by yourself and others.

[free--therapy]

It's anon. I know I mentioned in the other ask that I'd been dealing with the thoughts very well the past few days but today suddenly, some new thoughts related to it came up which ended up bothering me quite a bit and I feel stuck again.

Umm so about the thoughts with the ceiling fan and stuff, what I had been doing is everytime I started worrying about the what ifs like "what if this always stays?" "what if I always keep imagining that image everytime I'm sitting in a room?" Etc.

What I would do is tell myself "you could share this thought with your elder sister too. she's in this same room as you. so if you tell her about it and she can picture that image too yet despite that, she can ignore it and move on most probably right? then so can you." So whenever I felt myself worry how that thought is something only I'm dealing with, I would remind myself that I could share the same thought with someone else and they can still move on. So I can too.

I did that to basically remind myself of how that particular thought wasn't anymore "abnormal" than any other thought. Because I had been worrying about only me having such thoughts, I rationalised it like that by reminding myself that anyone can have that thought too and it isn't a problem. It's still a thought just like any other and nothing different about it and so I can move on from it too just like anyone can.

This worked great however like I mentioned in my other ask, it's like my mind has been looking for worries that seem different than others, worries/thoughts that I feel others can't relate to, ones that make me feel isolated as if no one would understand. And today, some random intrusive thoughts like that ended up coming to mind again.

You know how right from when I started worrying about intrusive thoughts, one of the common worries I've been having is the idea of any intrusive thought becoming an association.

Like I've mentioned before, when I see pet content on social media or even in real life, many times, it just makes me conscious in a way. As in, I'll be watching a cute pet video and suddenly my mind will subconsciously go "oh it's a 'pet' video" and I'll just get conscious of it for a second or so. But I move on from it quick. Once in a while, i do end up getting intrusive images related to it but either way, I'm okay with it. Or at least, I was okay with it for the past year and a half. I never worried about "whys" or about things like "what should I do about it" or "how long will I keep having those thoughts or keep getting conscious like that."

It's only a month ago that I started overthinking and worrying about all that and ended up making something I was okay with into a problem. However, I also had realised that I was just overthinking and that I was okay. It's still the same as it was tha past year and a half and it's just that I've been thinking and responding to the thoughts differently in the past month is all.

I know people can have different associations and it's normal so I reminded myself that it's the same with me. Basically, I reminded myself that having associations didn't make me different or weird because anyone can have them.

However, since last two weeks, it's like my mind has been subconsciously looking for associations that can trigger me. Like I end up worrying "what if this xyz becomes an association?" Etc. And whatever my mind thinks would be most inconvenient to have as association, it sticks. Like the ceiling fan or ceiling in any room for example. I will mostly always be in areas that have ceilings right? It's the same for everyone. So obviously, the idea that I'll always be reminded of the intrusive thoughts or the related what ifs as long as I'm in a room is scary right? It sounds like a life sentence in a way when I think of it as "always" lol

Today, I randomly got a thought that "what if I end up having many random associations that all remind me of any intrusive thoughts or worries?" But I always used to tell myself that any thought won't be abnormal because I can share it with anyone or anyone can have associations too but they don't "have to" bother you. And then my mind went "and what if it's a thought that others can't relate to?"

And suddenly my mind went "what if your younger sister reminds you of all your worries?" And that triggered me quite a lot. I mean, what if I have intrusive thoughts/images when I look at her? Or rather, what bothered me more was "what if whenever I'm with her, I always remember the things I've ever worried about?"

Like the thing with pet videos where I get "conscious." Similarly, what if looking at my sister also always or many times end up making me conscious like that. I mean, suppose in the future when I'm getting over these worries completely, then at that time, what if when I see her, I remember all my worries again?

I know this sounds pretty much the same as the intrusive thoughts about ceiling fan where I wondered if I'll always get that image but in that case, I was reminding myself that I could share it with my close people and realise that despite thinking of same thought, they aren't bothered so I can learn not to bother too with that image.

But with this new worry, it's like, I'm not exactly imagining any intrusive "image" but more like, just being reminded of all the worries I have related to intrusive thoughts. So in this case, I can't exactly share it with others because even if I did, they won't relate anyway right? I mean, they aren't worrying about intrusive thoughts in any way, so even if I told them something like "I'm worrying that what if looking at my younger sister or spending time with her always makes me remember my worries?" They can't relate because they don't have any worries about that topic to begin with right?

So that makes it slightly different than the thing with the ceiling fan, doesn't it? I mean, if it's just an image, then anyone can have it so I rationalise by reminding myself it's alright because anyone can have it and still be unaffected so I can too. But here, it's not an image but rather like an association that serves as a reminder of all my worries. So my mind keeps thinking that it makes it different.

Do you think I'm just overthinking again? Do you think it's just my mind trying to look for problems that I would have a harder time rationalising? Like looking for more and more complicated problems each time?

Also, when I tell myself that "it won't always remind me of it" or that "it's just a thought" or "it won't become an association, I'm just worrying that's all" or "my mind is lying to me, it's a bluff" then after that, if I see my younger sister and suppose do end up getting conscious and remembering the worries, then my mind is like "see? you actually remembered it. so how is it a lie? it might just become the truth" and this thought worries me more again.

I mean, what if in the future, it makes me want to avoid them because I don't wanna remember that? I mean, I know that's a stretch but what if?

it's sad because I love my sisters a lot. so I don't want myself to be reminded of something negative when I'm with them. and anyway, I'm with them always because I live with them. so it's like my mind is trying to make me worry about forming associations of my worries with things or people that I'd least want it with. like the people or things that I'd be around the most, those the ones my mind makes me worry about forming associations with.

Kind of like worrying if the rain will always remind me of any xyz bad memory. Then it rains and I get conscious"oh it's raining" and my mind goes, the rain = you remembering that memory and then me worrying again if the rain will always remind me of the worry. I don't know if that made any sense lol

the funny thing is here, it's not even any particular one thought that I'm reminded by when I look at my sisters. rather when I look at them or when I'm with them, my mind suddenly gets conscious and the thoughts I end up remembering are exactly the worries about that same thing.

I mean, I'll be with them and suddenly get conscious and my mind will remember "oh I've been worrying about forming associations that remind me of my worries when I'm them."

So it's like when I'm with them, the very thing that my mind reminds me of is the worry about forming an association of remembering my worries when I'm with them. So it's ironic like that.

I'm also worried what if I end up forming random associations like these with many other things or people too? I mean, anything or anyone that I love, that I don't want to be reminded of negative thoughts with, what if all of things end up becoming an association? What will I do then? Is that normal?

Also, when I try to tell myself that I'm just overthinking and that the worrying is making it seem stuck. It's true that if I don't indulge in the constant worrying, I can realise that I can actually carry a conversation like normal with my sisters. I do end up remembering or getting "conscious" but I guess that's because it's only been literally one day. So the intrusive thoughts about the what ifs are fresh right now so obviously they're more at the front of my mind. But maybe with time, I'll come to realise it's not a problem after all? Maybe I'll move on without having any associations then?

Also, one thing I realised is this follows the same pattern as all my other worries until now. As in, more than the association itself, what's making it stick is all the worrying and overthinking that I'm doing. I mean, if I try to not indulge in worrying and overthinking about it, then I can realise that it doesn't even matter much and that it's the same as all my other worries.

It's just the anxious thinking that's making it seem "different" than other worries. And it's also the worrying and overthinking that's reinforcing the thoughts. I know this because it's been the same with all the other thoughts until now no matter how "different" they seemed in the beginning.

In the end, I always came to the same conclusions which would be that I'm just overthinking and worrying about it which is making it seem like a problem but when I let go of the need to "control" the thoughts or when I stop trying to "do" something about the thoughts and let go of control, I always realise that it's the same as all other thoughts despite looking different.

All I had to do was instead of spending ALL my time on thinking about the thoughts and worries and trying to solve them and not spending my time on anything else, what I had to do was remind myself that in the end this is just the anxiety making me overthink and then to actually start engaging with life again. When I start engaging in activities I love again and keep doing things I have to do without caring whether the thoughts come or not, then with some time, I can automatically realise how it's not a problem.

So not ignoring the thoughts or trying to stop them, but rather acknowledging them and allowing my mind to have them without feeling the need to overthink about them or taking them seriously. Mindfully continuing my life whether the thoughts exist or not, because when I do that, I can naturally come to realisations and realise that it's normal for anyone and it's the worrying that's making them seem like a problem. This process takes time...like days or maybe a week or two and it makes me impatient 😭

What do you think? Do you think this new thoughts about association and related to me remembering it whenever I see my sisters are seeming so worrying because of all the overthinking too? Do you think the way to deal with them is more or less the same as always?

This is also tiring how whenever I feel I'm getting over something, another thing pops up out of nowhere. I want to live happily again and be my old self again, how I was pre-pandemic 😭 Constantly worrying or overthinking about irrational things is so tiring honestly 😭

Hey Anon,

You are definitely catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions a lot with a lot of these worries. You have no idea if any of those things are true, but you're still letting these irrational thoughts get the best of you and that's something I think you need to keep reminding yourself. Again, if something starts with "what if…" then it's likely not true or not going to happen.

Do you think I'm just overthinking again? Do you think it's just my mind trying to look for problems that I would have a harder time rationalising? Like looking for more and more complicated problems each time?

Yes, I think you're stuck in these cognitive distortions and they keep perpetuating your anxiety, which is obviously unhelpful. I think you need to learn to recognize these thoughts as they're happening and tell yourself that these are all irrational things, that you're jumping to conclusions, and that you're trying to make certain ends meet where they don't need to or won't.

I don't think that you should let any of this keep you from telling your sister what you want to share. You shouldn't assume that she's not interested or that certain thoughts and triggers might occur when you're around her. It helps a lot to have a support system when you're going through these types of worries and she can be that voice of reason or give you that different/objective perspective that your mind needs to help keep it at ease.

I'm sorry that you feel like there's always something new coming up when you least want it, but it's also up to you to combat them when they do arise by letting your mind know that there's no reason to jump to such conclusions when you don't have any evidence to back up those claims. I understand that it's tiring, but that's why it's important to shut them down before they get so big. A lot of the time you just need to catch yourself in your spirals and figure out a way to break free from them so they don't keep you stuck in such a loop.

[99liners]

Hiii so I watched this Indian movie on Amazon prime, called AMMU. Dude, it was so eerily similar to Kaiho, I was low-key creeped out. How did you capture how victims of abuse think and behave so perfectly

- med student anon

tw: physical abuse, domestic violence.

henlo! and i just Google'd the movie lol. i am not big on watching Indian movies, i watch bengali movies but i am far from mainstream media so this is new. also, i avoid movies which are based on the society around us because i see it all around me all the damn time.

honestly, this whole domestic violence thing isn't new to India and Indian women who are coaxed into an arrange marriage and become a housewife. its an old tale that we are still fighting today.

recently, i have been seeing this reel coming up a lot on my FYP, it's also a South Indian movie (i forgot the name) where the wife recounts that her husband slapped her 21 times in the past some months since marriage and she was asked to adjust by the family so she did the math that in these months its 21, in these many years it will be xyz. after obviously failing to get any help from the family (her or his) she started learning self defense through YouTube and finally stood up to her husband herself. (idk the full plot, this is what i got from the reel)

so these topics, these movies about domestic violence have been around since India starting the cinematography business and we still have not been able to rid the society of this disease.

i have seen it around me a lot, even growing up as a child. not in my family or house, but in my neighbourhood, among my friends' parents or just random strangers on the road.

even when i am six feet under, i would never blame the victim (the women in most situations) but a victim's mindset is a tricky road. when you live with your abuser, you become dependent on them because in almost all the cases you are a liability; with little to no education, no income source and a society where women are seen as a the weaker gender so for abused women to actually just up and leave, it takes a lot.

i blame the women's parents. always. because they always know that's happening and they do nothing. i don't expect much from the men's family cause they couldn't teach their son shit so why should anyone expect them to understand anything now but the girls' parents? bruh they CHOOSE to stay blind. and no, you cannot prove me otherwise.

tw: death

i have mostly worked in the criminal law area and the cases i worked revolved around rape, dowry deaths, cruelty against women, domestic violence, etc (i was on the defense side lol, i know, ironic). this one time we had a dowry death case where the wife had been subject to continuous emotional, mental and physical abuse by the husband's family for dowry. the girl's parents knew but didn't do shit. now, one night she calls up her dad and tells her that she overheard her in-laws and that they have been planning to kill her for a while and tonight is the night because she can just feel it. you know what the dad said? child, it's too late in the night for me to show up at your in-laws house, it'll be considered rude so i will come by tomorrow early morning.

after a few hours of that call, the in-laws burned her alive. all because her coward parents fucking thought about society first. and now they are fighting because their daughter is gone? how fucking dare they. the only person who deserves justice in this case is the girl and not her parents and their emotional pain. she's fucking ashes because her father couldn't ride out (30-40kms) in the middle of the night to save his daughter who's been subject to continuous torture because they CHOSE the man she must marry and CHOSE for her that she must always bare the torture cause fucking society.

[sha-n-dowbannedlol]

It had been ages since Jotaro had last heard about you, ever since the divorce, he had taken it upon himself to put some distance between himself and you, his ex-spouse, and with his daughter as well.

It was for the better, he reminded himself again and again whenever the night gets too cold to bear alone and he finds himself longing for your warmth. He reminded himself whenever the silence of his new home—void of you and Jolyne's voices welcoming him—gets too deafening.

It was for the better.

And so, Jotaro lived without you, without Jolyne. It wasn't easy, but he managed—he always does.

It was another night, the cold air of his dark home as he closes the door behind him nips at the little skin that his usual outfit fails to cover. A tired sigh escapes the man as he moves to remove his coat, only to stop when he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.

Fishing his phone to see who must be calling in the dead of the night, he scrunches his brow at the sight of an unknown number. He thought of not answering it, it might be some bored teenager looking to kill time by punching in random numbers and calling them—but there was a slight chance that this could be a Speedwagon Foundation worker calling to inform him of a new discovery.

And so, he answers the phone, pressing it against his ear.

"Is this Dr. Jotaro Kujo?"

It was an unknown voice. Have they hired another new worker? They really should inform him whenever they do so.

"Yes, it's me." He answers, "Who is this?"

"Hello, Dr. Kujo. I am a nurse from XYZ Hospital, calling you on behalf of..."

Jotaro's heart dropped in the now seemingly endless pit that is now his stomach as he heard your name for the first time in years. He feels his own blood run cold as the nurse from the other side continues talking.

"They have been sent to the hospital today, it-"

"Why are you telling me this?" he couldn't stop himself from blurting out, and he didn't need to see the person from the other line to know that they must be quite confused by his response.

"Dr. Kujo.. you..." the nurse cleared their throat, "You're the first person listed in their emergency contacts,"

A storm of emotions suddenly made its way into Jotaro's chest; affection, longing, regret, anger—and many more that he has yet to decipher. He no longer feels empty and numb, but he's not sure if he prefers having this whirlwind of emotions instead.

He shouldn't go.

He really shouldn't.

He needs to tell the nurse to call someone else and just hang up—pretend the whole thing never happened and get on with his life.

You're better off without him.

You're safer without him.

Seeing him wouldn't do you any good.

He shouldn't go.

It's for the better.

It's for the better.

"May I ask where they are now?" He swiftly turns, hand quick to open the door as he speed walks to his car, hand already fishing for his keys in his pockets.

Maybe he'll regret this.

Maybe this will be for the worse.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

"I'm on my way, I'll be there in a few minutes."

[fairytheo]

enhypen as your boyfriend.

boyfriend!enhypen x gen!reader. fluff. 1.9k. curse words. mention of bugs, food. not requested.

🐈 ⸝⸝ HEESEUNG ˙𐃷˙

super-duper caring !!

he’s so whipped for you — he smiles just by thinking about you

also very giggly around you

LOVES lending you his beanies

(aka. you stealing them..)

+ you steal his earrings as well ! not that he minds

absolutely adores singing for you / he loves singing you to sleep :D

hold up, is being heeseung’s s/o just being his personal ramen cook 🤨🤨

he aaalwaays bugs you to play games with him (especially wii and nintendo switch lmao)

either that or you’re playing animal crossing while eating takeout at your dinner table

you’re the only person in the world who he’ll ever do aegyo for. 

he secretly enjoys it, but shhh you didn’t hear that from me

i think he likes calling you names like cutie, cutiepie or just a shorter version of your name <3 (if there is one !)

booping your nose is on his everyday to do list ☝️

lowkey therapist & boyfriend in one ngl

WAIT he loves making playlists for you two,, 

“y/n! i made another playlist, do you wanna listen to it? i made it while thinking of you.” <//3 

the type to write cheesy lyrics about you, then later cringes at his own writing bUT then leaves it like that because you like it !

you have his cover of lauv’s “i’m so tired” either set as your alarm or play it on loop everyday 

(random but for some reason i can picture him giving you a cassette with his cover on it just for the vintage vibes)

🐈 ⸝⸝ JAY ˙𐃷˙

the mom-and-boyfriend in one ;] 

f a s h i o n  c o u p l e 

you are literally fashion icons. no disagreements. 

you have matching clothes or accessories ! even if it’s really subtle, the gesture behind it is super adorable <//3

cooking pt. 2 :D but this time there’s a gorden ramsay in your relationship

i can just SEE how you both two impersonate gorden ramsay while cooking which makes everything 10 times funnier !! checks every 5 seconds if the food is ready tho because he doesn’t wanna risk anything

never cleans up afterwards, either you do or no one does

since you’re both fashion icons your social media followers are going 📈📈📈

literally couple goals.

he loves taking pictures of you,, but also wants you to take pictures of him 

jay gets flustered easily so please make him flustered with sudden compliments, hugs, kisses, etc. !!

he’s also the only member i can really see calling you babe

confident but shy about pda at the same time ??? he’s both LOL 

you always tease him with his RAS moments and randomly quote them when you’re in the middle of a conversation with him lmao

random and idk if this fits here, but he likes making your lunch — leaves you encouraging notes too <3

last but not least: jokingly gets angry at you when he wants something from you, and you do the same thing back ♡

🐈 ⸝⸝ JAKE ˙𐃷˙

sweetest and softest boyfriend to ever exist. i’m so soft for him JSHSHS

definitely calls you sweetie and darling. 100%. fight me if you think otherwise. 

shows you pics of layla everyday (it’s become routine for him >_<)

a tiny bit cliché BUT lends you his jacket whenever you’re cold (even when you’re inside !!)

random thought: jake puts his hands in your hoodie pockets...

💔💔💔

it’s his personal goal to peck your cheek and forehead at least twice a day — gets pouty if he wasn’t able to do that ))):::

talks in english a lot because you love his accent !!

if you’re an english speaker, you’ll have conversations in english all. the. time.

if you’re not an english speaker, no worries, he’ll teach you !

+ reads you bedtime stories in english (jake’s australian accent >>>) 

dreams of travelling with you to australia <33  

if there’s a bug in the house you better know that jake will NOT be removing them and runs out of the house

WILL stay over at one of the other member’s houses untill that bug is REMOVED . 

so if you’re afraid of bugs as well,,, i’m sorry bae, but it’ll be your task to remove these little... creatures 😐

ngl you have more photos of layla than of him on your phone lol

(spams you with her pictures and captions them with “y/n!!! look!!! layla with a flower!!!! layla with a butterfly!!!!” it’s just so sweet aaa)

we need some “””drama””” so you make jokes about him being a “🥶💸🔥💪” boy a lot in your relationship LMAO

🐈 ⸝⸝ SUNGHOON ˙𐃷˙

ice skating dates.

this has been mentioned in other headcanons a lot already but i just HAD to include it,,

convinces you to eat ice cream after your date LOL even if it IS winter

btw. fashion couple nr. 2 !!! 

MIRROR SELCAS

MIRROR SELCAS 

ugh the visuals and the power you two hold,,,, i can’t,,,,,

has better clothes than you ngl so you share clothes lmao

it started with him lending you his sweatpants, but then you didn’t want to return them forgot to return them and BOOM 💥 here we are

extremely awkward and shy at first — don’t worry though, he becomes much more chaotic in the later phases of your relationship

he teases you SO MUCH. LIKE. SO MUCH.

always has small smile (smirk?) on his face when he’s about to make a cocky remark (so beware)

you tease him back just twice as hard which 1.) results in him in becoming flustered 2.) fails LOL

off-topic but he’d love a s/o that has a similar style to him ??? a more elegant, classy, dark style perhaps

when he’s away / busy he’ll send you some selcas and captions them with “how r u doing??” “did you eat yet?” “cheer up :P” 

kinda shy about pda but likes showing off too ???

i mean,, men... 🙄🙄 /lh

whenever someone mentions your name near him, he’ll just try to hide his smile while biting his lip (yk what i’m talking about???) and you’ll see his dimples and the affectionate look in his eyes and just AAAAA

the type of boyfriend that calls you love~

🐈 ⸝⸝ SUNOO ˙𐃷˙

skin care routines with sunoo 24/7 🤝

he does your hair (if your hair is long enough to do different hairstyles with it ofc !!) 

send you daily weekly skin care products he thinks you two should try out / that’d be good for your skin <3

spa nights every friday at 9pm — he only lets you in if you wear a stylish pyjama LOL

you buy him peach items because they just remind you so much of him (｡•́︿•̀｡)

SELCA TIME !!! his phone is always ready !!! (apart from his storage maybe?)

PARTICIPATES IN SELCA DAYS OF YOUR FAVOURITE IDOLS AAA

loves to go on walks w u

does A LOT of aegyo,, 

and i know that you knew that this point will be in this headcanon.

for eg. instead of saying goodnight or bye he’ll just do aegyo for you not that anyone minds tbh

stages of sunoo flirting (?):

a — tries to compliment you (it sounds more like a flirty remark tbh)

b — realizes then blushes

c — cringes and runs away LMAO

playfully acts jealous, so you know it’s a joke but deep down he’s actually jealous

you two match each others vibes a lot — if one is sad, the other is sad as well

+ tells you your posture is bad when you sit like a banana or tells you to go to sleep early and when you don’t listen to him, he’ll show you an article that proves that (abc) and (xyz) is bad for you and says “i told you so.” 💀

🐈 ⸝⸝ JUNGWON ˙𐃷˙

impresses you by doing kicks (does the kick cap challenge on tiktok and/or you play kick it by nct 127 for the funzies) 

poking his dimple is a MUST . 😩😩

though gets super shy when you kiss him and also if you buy him gifts !!

cheers you up whenever you feel down or are upset

compliments you a ton ))): will randomly come up to you and tell you that your fit is cute or that you look brighter today,,, little does he know it's because of him ;]

HUGS!HUGS!HUGS

poking his dimple comes first, then hugging

the other members tease you two everytime you’re over LOL it’s like there are two koalas clinging onto each other

our yang garden gained another sheep +1

you two randomly play sheep,,,, like,,, everyday ???? sheep cosplays 👍

idk why ig it’s just fun to imitate sheep and go “mmmeEeEeeEhh” to annoy others

talking of that, even THOUGH he is a responsible leader he will not hesitate to do stupid shit with you

“hey how about we ring on that house there and yell “sheep for sale!” do you think they’ll open the door?”

“i don’t know... let’s find out!” 🤝

let’s just say that this didn’t end well..

also kinda bullies you (in a loving way ofc !!) pand teases you nonstop

either calls you asshole or love aHA

in conclusion: a very unpredictable relationship,, would 10/10 recommend.

very random but i feel like his love language is acts of service

🐈 ⸝⸝ NI-KI ˙𐃷˙

oh look it’s our tsundere 😼

can’t go a day without dancing so you two have vibing sessions at 2am everyday ft. the others telling you to go to bed

you’re the only one that can make him soft lol

if you’re older than him, you would definitely take care of him like your own baby !! 

if you are the same age as him or younger it’d be awkward for him at first, because he isn’t used to taking care of someone younger, so he’d treat you as if you were his best friend at the beginning

you love to watch him dance !! it’s so satisfying,, LITERAL asmr.

pranks you 24/7. boy has NO mercy. will not care if the others will scold him later. he will do the prank smoothly (?) — doesn’t care about the consequences LMAO

probably sets your alarm to someone screaming or a cringy aegyo song <//3

wants to film dance covers with you !! you don’t have to be the best dancer either !! as long as you have fun ^__^ 

the other members find you really cute but are also vERY TIRED OF YOU,, two energized teens in a relationship was not a good idea ☝️

likes to randomly hold your hand and swing it around 

probably distant at the beginning of the relationship because a.) he doesn’t want to pressure you/make things awkward b.) he doesn’t really know what to do either ???

(if you’re not japanese or don’t know how to speak japanese) he’ll definitely teach you some japanese phrases and words !! introduce you to his culture as well :DD and he really wants to know more about your culture too <3

teaches you phrases like “sunoo is a dumbass” for the funzies LOL

randomly makes micheal jackson impressions,,, it’s hilarious LMFAO

[fluttering-by]

The character ask thing - Woz please! :)

You know me well! Thank you so much!

Favourite thing about them: Just how loud and eccentric he is. I think he came around during one of the worst times of my life, when I'd lost someone I was so close to, and I felt really alone, and my own self worth was really low, and I hated myself and the one person who always made me feel better no matter what had died, and then suddenly I've got this very loud character proclaiming "REJOICE" at every bloody thing, and I think especially the revelation of Shiro Woz and the realisation that oh my god, we can all have our own Woz, was really meaningful to me back then because I could pretend to have a person who'd be proud of me no matter what I did. I stopped thinking "I'm so pathetic for not being able to do xyz" and instead started thinking "I got out of bed today, iwae!" or "I ate a meal today, iwae!" and he was just that important to me at the time, he came at a time I really needed someone like that.

Least favourite thing about them: I feel like he as a character wasn't allowed to have that much of an impact to the show, which is really sad because it's like, he didn't get as much development as he should have? He got to be a part of the family for a bit only to just be abandoned (apparently that's something a lot of my favourites have in common, it's very typical actually), it feels like he wasn't so much treated like a character but as a plot device who nobody was allowed to care about or be cared about by him aside from waga maou, even though there was plenty of scope for it? He got to be a part of the family, he had that conversation with Shiro Woz about how he has friends now, and then he was just left behind and didn't seem that bothered? Whereas maybe him kind of coming away from being 'waga maou's retainer' to actually developing some kind of self respect and considering Sougo a friend and then being hurt about the ending? I don't know. I just feel like he was barely allowed to be impacted by anything and it was frustrating and really soured what was otherwise a really nice ending.

Favourite line: "Happy birthday!" I'm sorry but that was brilliant. Although, when he asked Uncle for some more apple pie. Or at the end of the film where Woz was the first there with a plate. See it's bits like that that make the ending and the blatant disrespect towards his character hurt even more!

BrOTP: Woz and Uncle I forget his name, Junichiro? Something like that? They just seemed really close, he was like the only person who ever had anything nice to say about Woz and their few and far between interactions were bloody precious!

OTP: I don't really ship him with anyone? I don't know, I don't even think it's that I don't think that much about him as a romantic, I just don't really ship lightly and nothing was jumping out at me.

NOTP: I don't think I dislike him in a relationship that much to warrant really having a NOTP?

Random headcanon: Woz is part AI. I don't even remember where the headcanon came from, that's the issue with having memory problems, but it was always a headcanon I had? I know that there were rumours at some point that ended up not being true, and I'm sure I had the headcanon before then. Not AI like HumaGear though, but like a sort of clockwork steampunky AI. I mean he's definitely not human, you know?

Unpopular opinion: I don't really remember the popular opinion of Woz? Memory issues strike again. So I'm not sure if this is actually an unpopular opinion or not? But I think I read once about how the intention was to have even more versions of Woz, and if that's true, and even if it's not, I thoroughly enjoyed the concept of multiple Wozes and so wish that had happened.

Favourite picture of them:

So my actual favourite photo I cannot find for the life of me, it was on my old phone but it broke and I lost it. But it's one in a photobook or something where both Wozes are sort of reaching out to each other? And it's really dramatic and I loved it and I'm so sad I lost it.

But my second favourite photo and one I can actually post is this.

Just because I mean how soft does he look?? He looks like the less scary Woz, which I mean, shows what we know. I mean how many of us looked at this photo and though "ah yes, Woz but more terrifying"?

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

this is much like that non-sexual intimacy post going around today. i usually don't get it when people often bring up "i will never hug xyz (celeb), and it breaks my heart" or "i just had a random daydream about xyz, and now i'm sad." idk, tbh, i've never thought that way. i tried to come up with reasons, but maybe i'm just weird. 1. i just think it's a terrible thing to speak and think that into existence. if you want to meet them, then don't repeatedly say that you'll never have that chance. in my opinion, if it's meant to be, it will be, and there is always a possibility. 2. i don't think about meeting them because part of me loves them too much and doesn't want to disturb them even a little bit any more than they already are. I do love some fan meetings though so to each their own. 3. i haven't been treated well by people, so i don't have very many sweet lived experiences with friends or romantic interests. i've only seen it in movies. so i think that's why it's hard for my mind to imagine myself being treated well and come up with daydreams/have casually made up scenarios or dreams in general? 4. generally, i'm very insecure, so most of me doesn't want to be perceived in the first place! anyways i've been a fan for a few years now, and suddenly i'm scrolling my dash and see a pretty photo of a meadow at sunset, and i think about the light hitting louis' smile or harry's eyes and just walking with one of them or laying like starfish in the grass. and these last couple of weeks, i've wanted to hug them so badly, so much that my mind was able to picture it. which now i get why people are so sad. you would think these scenarios would be only fun. except they are extremely bittersweet. they make you feel the safest, like your problems aren't that impossible to overcome, and like you are entirely accepted as you are. still, you are so used to being unloved and you are reminded that people like them are so rare that imagining it turns into crying into louis' shoulder or wrapping your arms around harry's waist..it's so beautiful but painful. all you get in real life is some tears but it feels like a glimpse of meeting at least a once in a lifetime friend you wish you had always known and met years ago

oh kind anon, this............ :') despite your ending on a sad note, i can't help but read this as something full of hope. as love persevering. no, it's not sad to imagine two people loving each other. there should be no melancholy involved with this, because after all you've been through, you still manage to picture it and hope for it! don't you see how amazing that is? yes, there are a lot of tears in life and shit can suck, hard, but the love you find will always help you see past that. and it doesn't have to be some fairytale kind of soulmate love for it to be magical and worthy. love is in the smallest things, anyway. someone smiling at you. listening to a song you recommended. thinking of you when they see someone else wearing your favorite pair of shoes. lighting a candle because they know you're coming over. adjusting your collar because it's askew. capturing you in a photo that makes you feel beautiful because that's how they see you. you'll get that arm wrapping around your waist, love. you're going in the right direction

[everythingthemoontouches]

Hiiiiiiii~ I wanna know your thoughts/opinions about my placements:

Cancer 0°24" Sun ( 5th house )

Gemini moon 14°10" /mercury 9°03" ( 4th house )

Taurus Venus 15°22" /Mars 15°20" ( 3rd house )

Aquarius rising 24°21" ( with Neptune, Jupiter, Uranus in 1st house ) ?

Thank u🌸🌸

You give off the vibe that you want the best for everyone.

As an Aquarius rising you probably come across as someone really intelligent. Could be interested in technology / alien / space fic .

Could be labeled a weirdo as a child. Or just feel like you're ' different'

Space mermaid / Genius Scientist / Humanitarian vibe

Uranus in the first house usually seems a bit out of place. Or could have revolutionary ideas. Neptune lends beauty. People could also project their own issues onto you. Their could be a tendency for them to romanticize you.

Issues with expressing boundaries?

Jupiter in the first natives are usually seen as wise. The one people go to for advice. With both Jupiter and Uranus sitting here I wouldn't be surprised if you were to invent something that helps make life more beautiful and easier for everyone.

Your cancer sun could help this by pushing you to teach this new system / technology that you create.

People with 5th house sun usually have a playful vibe. With cancer in the 5th you could have a tendency to subtly manipulate things so peole can have the most fun.

Your moon and rising are both air signs. So you may be a little uncomfortable talking about your feelings. There could be an ability to try to rationalize how you feel. You think your feelings.

It might be easier for you to paint / cook your woes away. When you're sad do you crave those cookies you had as a child? Go back to a childhood hobby? Text a high school sweetheart?Cancer craves comfort. Is cuddling your idea if a good date?

Do you take pride in your cooking? Or how beautiful your home / kids are?

People with venus Mars conjunction could have a really balanced masculine and feminine energy. You're soft when you need to be and aggressive when the situation demands for it.

Taurus venus enjoys luxury and fancy dates. Could take some time to get to know your potential partners. Mars in Taurus makes you a steady lover. Wham bam thank you ma'am probably isn't your style.

I think you'd really want your partners to use their big boy / words to communicate.

Moon and mercury both in Gemini.

Phew. You could be a little too much for people whose minds don't race a lot. You'd rather tell your friends about your trip to the mall, the cute graffiti on the grocery store, some random facts about a nervous disorder and 50 ways to travel to xyz than have one long detailed conversation about just one thing. You need your friends to keep up with you.

Quick witted, could have a sharp tongue. You could look ve someone today, hate them the next minute, and go back to being best friends the very next hour. Why? Because the moon rules over our primordial responses. It's known to wax and wane. Add Mercury's quick, flighty nature and you basically flot through a 100 million emotions super quick.

You know how in the goblet of fire, Ron says ' One person couldn't feel all those. They'd explode!' you somehow manage to circle through the whole range of feels / ideas and still remain grounded.

How do you do it?

Do you have a lot of books at home?

Yours could be the house where people gather to just sit and chat. Or spend 30 minutes at the door just talking after they've said their goodbyes. I know it's considered rude to linger in some cultures, but where I come from, it's normal to do so when meeting friends who live far away.

Moon mercury conjunction : you could have a soothing voice or manner of speaking. You always know what to say to people to help them calm down.

Or, you could find that you're always searching for the right words to say. Somehow , the ones you choose could bring comfort to the listeners.

[starlightrows]

Okay so I definitely spent my lunch break at work in my feels over @jangofctts and @jango-fettish’s latest conquest to break our hearts with the Sunburst Boys. I wrote some grieving headcanons and a blurb... and definitely didn’t cry while doing it...

Blanche.... withdrawn absolute reclusive depression. Ugly crying to the point where he wretches. He harbors so much anger, towards himself, towards Syrena... is prompted by higher authority to pull himself together. On the outside he kind of acts like it didn’t happen, barks out orders, continues leading. Won’t talk about it. Blanche lands in the depression phase of grieving and never leaves

Kami..... guilt. So much guilt that he wasn’t there. Maybe he could have done something. Doesn’t want to think about it. Has more than couple one night stands, drinks a too much. Briefly considers trying raw spice, but luckily does not go down that path. Lands up getting too drunk and throws up in the alley behind 79’s and cries. Vows to live better and not let himself get this low anymore, Max would hate to see him like this

Void... also a lot of guilt. Maybe he could have saved him. If he wasn’t good about taking care of himself before, he’s certainly not doing it now. It reaches a point where he realizes he’s gonna die or hurt someone with how bad his hands shake. He talks to the General Tavik they work under for guidance

Sweets.... Uncontrollable bouts of crying. Just in the middle of things. Shuts down, collapses in random places. Self stims by rocking. Struggles a lot because Max was one of the few on the squad that was good at comforting him, and giving him physical touch. Turns to Jaws instead.

Jaws... is starting to lose touch with reality over it. Begins having issues with disassociating. Also just cries unprompted. Cuddling with Sweets helps a bit.

Blue... Bargaining. If Blanche is depression in the 5 stages or grief. Blue is stuck in bargaining. “If only I had done XYZ” “Maybe if I had done this he would still be alive”. If I am a good Sergeant... he won’t have died in vain.

Bruiser... unbridled rage. He is so fucking angry. Angry at Syrena. Angry at Max for not letting someone else die in his place. Angry at the Heretics. Angry at Blanche for not telling him that Syrena was there that day. Angry at himself for not being able to save Max. He broke his hand by punching through Duracreet

A couple months after Fuse joins the squad, about a year after losing Max.

“Hey Kami... what’s with Sweets today?” Fuse asks, watching Jaws walk out of cafeteria with Sweets under his arm

“Leave him the fuck alone,” Kami spits

“Hey! I didn’t do anything to him. We were talking about asking General Tavik if we could get shore leave and he just broke down and started bawling,”

“Look Fuse, today is not a good day for us. Today was the day,”

“Oh.....”

“Yeah. Not to be a fuckin asshole man. But just... leave everyone alone today,”

“Yeah.... yeah okay. M’sorry man, I guess I’ll be in the armory if you..... if you need anything,”

[lindsayrises]

Can I just say how thankful I am for tumblr? I haven't been on my dash a ton lately. This morning as I was reading some posts I found myself thinking, "oh, I'm glad xyz happened for him/her" or "he/she seems to be really happy right now. He/She deserves it" and other thoughts like that.

Those are things I think about with my friends. I have been lucky enough to meet lots of tumblrs and some of them have become close friends. Even if I haven't met you, I feel like we're more than just random strangers on the internet.

So, thank you to those I interact with on here. My wish for you and all my friends today: good days at work (or home), successes, warmth, rest, and minimal stress.