#Hate going to work
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everyday I wish I could scream but I can’t because I don’t drive to work. Can’t scream on the bus. I wish our engine didn’t die right before I started a new stressful job. Wish I’d gotten therapy before attempting being a caseworker. Wish I wasn’t so useless in every way. I wish I didn’t exist at all tbh
#Personal#queencolondarkwing#Dead inside#casework#Social work#being poor#How can I help homeless people but I have to survive on 45k for two people in LA#Underpaid#new job anxiety#Dread waking up#Don’t want to exist#Hate going to work#Waking up is hard#I still have trauma about trying not to be homeless the past several years since I moved here so why the fuck did I think I could do this#Paperwork is not for me#I want to work with kids again
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I miss my cat
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DRAGON AGE: THE VEILGUARD / inner circle
#dragon age#datv#veilguard#daedit#datvedit#already hating how many differnt tags we're going to have to work with#but i wanted to put a lil something on here too to get the ball rolling
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When you spend 20 years attempting to bring down the child slavery, murdering, human trafficking exploitation ring that stole your childhood, murdered your friends, and killed countless innocents only to have them rebrand as 'Noble Freedom Fighters™' off-screen.
#rip zevran's crusade against the crows >:(#when people said they wanted to be crows they didn't want devs to make the faction nice so we won't feel bad or conflicted about it#people wanted to be conflicted! they wanted to see the faction in all its glitz and glamour - then see what it hid beneath all the mystique#choose to play as a crow that loves the life/hates it/is undecided/etc...#but i'm sorry i forgot that this game doesn't want to do 'role play' options my bad#i will not stand for this zevran erasure!!!#they set up a schism with zevran's da2 codex entry - with other crows joining him!#have the antivan crows faced with a threat that challenged their outlook on why they fight#have the talons be the one to sell out antiva! in exchange for allowing their business to resume (have it be a sneaky reveal!!!)#their work has purpose and order to it so the antaam might agree! they're like 'babys first ben-hassrath!'#have Crows look around at their own home - see the vendor they bought fruit from disappear or the smiling old lady now cowed by grief#then have them decide to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT#have a schism! have Zevran take in Crows who are unhappy - have them realize how shit the organization is!#boom! somewhat-noble freedom fighters! (they're doing their best okay)#or they can be 'idealists' from the get-go - thanks cursed AMA thread#my art <3#dragon age#datv critical#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#zevran arainai
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ace detective more like ace DEFECTIVE
#I HATE THIS BITCH SM HES GENUINELY SO FUN TO DRAW FOR NO REASON 😭😭😭😭#bro idk if the first one makes sense to anyone else. 😔 get it cause like akechi is in the siu so he techincally works for the government 😔#i finished shido's palace again and cried like a bitch because of him so im back to drawing persona again im so sorry everyone#my brother deleted persona from the steamdeck i play on and idk how to redownload it so i cant touch the game until christmas now 🫶🏼#i drew a lot over break actually i've just been going back and coloring a few of the sketches i did#idk how ppl draw everyday aren't u exhausted 😭#anyway hope faggotron 6000 dies in the royal version too i can't stand him#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#akechi goro#UHHHH ren is here so i'll tag him#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#lotus draws#goodnight everyone im so tired#i need winter break to come faster.........
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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Pain is a great motivator…
Part 26 || First || Previous || Next
—Full Series—
Meanwhile Toriel:
(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)
Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!
#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”????#lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update.#IS THAT A MAC OS???#Yes......owo''#Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters!#FINALLY!!#I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed#Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things.#Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too-#but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :)#bread#art#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#seriously though#long post#man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu#This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q#chara#asriel#susie#kris#asriel dreemurr#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune#comic#my art
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#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#the book of bill#gravity falls#he’s happy to see him#I have to go to work soon#I hate going to work so much bruh why can’t I just draw gay shit all day
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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The maths fandom is wild. “Real” and “imaginary” numbers? I think you mean canon and non-canon. You guys seriously go “this is my number oc his name is i and he is the square root of -1” when in numbers canon lore it’s actually impossible to square root a negative but sure whatever. “Complex numbers”? I think you mean a character x oc ship. “f(x) = 3x - 5”? That is self-insert fanfiction.
#(spoiler for the maths finale) 7 eats 9#mathblr#math memes#shitpost#locus other time#this is a joke don’t get too worried about it. I just wanted an excuse to say imaginary numbers are OCs#i would go more in depth but alas. as I’m making this I’m 16 so I haven’t learned all the fun maths lore yet#math#to reiterate: I am aware this is an oversimplification and not how maths works and nothing in maths is canon!#I am not trying to say square rooting negative numbers is stupid or impossible or saying imaginary numbers are a lie or anything like that#I just wanted to have a bit of fun with using fandom terms for numbers (and play off the stereotype of people who police “canon”)#no hate to mathematicians or the field of maths. You guys are cool. Sorry if it came off that way
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I had a caption for this but I lost it oops
#dragon age 4#dragon age#datv#dragon age veilguard#art#fanart#emmrich volkarin#emmrich/rook#OC: Artemis#suggestive#kinda#I legit dont know since this is meant to be just fluff#anyway im gonna go cry now#Drawing Artemis with her LI behind her hits different#She doesnt trust anyone at her back since she considers it her most vulnerable spot#so this takes a lot of trust#Im ok#artys work#I hate how this looks really nice on my drawing screen but the colors are TOO vibrant on my main monitor...
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Advanced technique
#an art#sdr2#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#hajime hinata#peko pekoyama#Im struggling not to commit a crime at work everything is just bothering me SO MUCH#I hate doing other people's work for them i hate the endless cycle of family bs I deal with i hate the constant noise at work#Wish me luck i need to pay a visit to my father today and with the state of my psyche idk how it will go#Anyway. Think of bff to remember why you don't give into the tantalising lure of Murder
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DIRECTOR'S NOTE • Nov. 2023
You can't go home. This play has a particular care for and interest in its victims. The resident
inciting event is endless. tragedy is much more concerned with footnotes than it is with gods.
well acquainted with what happens afterward, storytellers claim they can't diverge from what's
written: resist. rage against what must be. tell a story about war without talking
about love. survive its aftermath. fail to find resolution. make this suffering
a home. There's no breaking this chain— fate, as always, gets its way.
Poetry assembled from the program of an Oresteia production. Nov. 2023.
#p#analog#oscillating wildly between liking and hating this but you have to get the gunk out to get going again#the last line...the rest of the poem has to be REALLY solid for it to work and im. not sure it is. but its here lol#bad 'scan' quality too but i am too impatient to wait to get to a real scanner#what i do like about this one is the enjambment#i think its some of my best
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Have you ever been curious about the EnStars MC Anzu, what she does in EnGirls and EnStars, and what information we could gather about her from each story?
For Paradise's 10th Anniversary, I made an "Anzu Story Breakdown doc" where you can read what she does & any info about her in each story🌸⭐️‼️ (twitter post)
(currently doesn't contain EnStars stories, but they are in progress and will be added once they are finished per year)
09.14.24 - Added EnGirls and extra materials 09.15.24 - Added story names in the outline for easier navigation 10.08.24 - Added the following ES! stories: Marching Band, Sweets, Duel, Hero Show, Tanabata Festival, Pool Opening, Test of Courage, Restaurant, Quarrel Festival, Holiday, First Shrine Visit, Amusement Park Show, WANTED!!!, Robin Hood, Passionate Carmen, Sweet Halloween, Beasts, Buddy
#mh talks#ensemble stars#ensemble girls#engirls#enstars#anzu enstars#anzu ensemble stars#i kinda felt like posting it on tumblr too just for archiving purposes#made specifically for anyone who wants to know how much anzu there is in engirls but can't be bothered to read the stories#i did the homework for the team o7#i wish i could have finished the Era ! part before her unofficial birthday but theres just so much going on for me in sept-oct that i just#can't find the time to read#did i make this most specifically bc i hate how people throw tomatoes at reika and sakura for causing her to transfer when they#regret it with all their hearts and anzu doesn't even hate them for it? mayhaps#if i had a nickel for every time i made a Reading-related document for my brown haired girl fixation i would have two nickels#yeah i know the engirls section is missing 7 stories IM WORKING ON IT!!!
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that annoying moment when getting left for dead in the trunk of a car in your 20s comes back to haunt you 40 years later (take a shot every time ford says “stanley”)
#i love making ford look like a kicked puppy#my favorite pastime#i also like making stan suffer then he brushes it off like a joke <3#these guys have issues#anyway context? what’s that ahaha#but idk. i guess in their adventures they get into fights with things and people#and eventually stan gets pushed and locked into a trunk or one of those little freezers that lock on the outside#and he’s in this tiny space and he can’t just push his way out so he panics and forgets where he is for a second#and by the time ford gets rid of the people/things attacking and finds wherever stan went (kind of easy to tell when he’s yelling)#he’s gotta like. ground him or whatever#those 6 fingers come in handy bc he’s just gotta grab onto stan’s hand and let him feel those 6 fingers against his hand#👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼#anyway i lowkey don’t even like the dialogue in this#and ofc the drawings are low quality as usual#but whatever i am Not going back to work on this lol#idgaf take whatever i give y’all guys 🗣️#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#stan twins#sea grunks#stangst#??? yeahg#my art#rystiart#i’ll have it in me to sit down and make something better one day but today is not that day#also ahem. he repeats please a lot when he’s about to die haha. why do y’all think he hates saying please so much? 😇
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can you even imagine what a fucking horror show the early game is from spite's perspective, though. not only is this funky forcibly severed little slip of the fade having to deal with the reverse cosmic horror of physical reality as perceived by a spirit and being trapped in it against its will -- existentially confused and disoriented and hurting and nothing makes any kind of sense, at the mercy of human cruelty at its most deliberately sadistic. and then the one source of comfort and compassion and some kind of safety and clarity that lucanis surely must have been to him in the ossuary despite everything just goes and shuts himself in his room inside with a seemingly passive aggressive number of locks between them and no explanation and won't speak to him and they're STILL in the fucking ossuary. rook came and found them and they could be free now (rook is here!) and still lucanis keeps them in the ossuary even though he PROMISED he promised they'd get out of there together!!! what the fuck DO you think at that point? like did he trick me that whole time??? he wasn't like zara before, so why is he doing this to me now? why isn't he saying anything? 'he won't move. I can't reach him'. at least in the ossuary they had a deal, a goal, a hope -- each other. at least he wasn't entirely alone, before.
this poor poor poor little spite spirit really was ferried into the real world like 'hey welcome to reality! as your first introduction to it you're first getting horrifically tortured and then getting to vicariously experience one of THE most distressing and harrowing psychological conditions the human brain can cook up for itself (a fully fledged and deeply entrenched freeze response flaring up with catastrophic severity due to an unbroken ongoing and unlikely to let up any time soon chain of Unfortunately... Recent Events). I think spite is being extremely reasonable and patient about the whole thing, when you put it into perspective. I'm not saying let him eat the self-lighting candles or anything, but he's got some extremely valid points along the way lol. spite is not only child-like, the metaphor work going on is a lot more pleasingly flexible and complex than that, but he is also helplessly existentially dependent on lucanis in a way that, if anything, is a heightened version of the way a child (or child part) has to depend on a parent to navigate the world and survive.
tl;dr: we truly don't give enough sympathy to spite for having to live in the head of lucanis dellamorte. a place even lucanis dellamorte would prefer not to be. to be fair to him I think lucanis would be the first person to agree with this lol
#it's a lot like it would be if a spirit possessed me I suspect. like sorry you're in here too now I've tried to get out myself but no luck#possessor's remorse#spite very much did not have a choice in all of that he's just working with the hand he's been dealt here lol#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#spite#lucanis dellamorte#spite is such a little gremlin but looking at what's going on from his pov for even like a split second is so heartbreaking haha#one of my favourite parts of their relationship is that there clearly is affection of some sort on both sides even at the beginning#beneath the resentment and confusion and fear and mutual frustrations there is also real and enduring care#the fact that lucanis is genuinely kind and spite is genuinely loyal in his spirit-y way. I just. I need a moment.#the nice thing about playing a mourn watcher is that it's easy to imagine rook sort of glimpsing the outlines of some of this#and being quite understanding with spite even as they don't want to be invasive or step on lucanis' still-tender trauma toes about it#be nice to spite. like all of us he is Going Through it fr fr perhaps even more so. and he doesn't even get to have FIRE 😔#*grumbly spite voice* I hate this fucking family
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