#Harry's sexy delirium

[thusspoketrish]

Tumblr did me dirty cos I posted something smutty! Anyways, here's a censored version! Please check out the fic on AO3 for the full version. Thanks again to the brilliant @artmistersealy, you captured this scene from Long for Bliss! beautifully! ❤️✨

[belle-keys]

It’s always so funny to observe YA book trends, cus it's all the product of social media hype, marketing, and the publishing world’s scheming that decides what we read. Content is often disseminated based on marketability and not necessarily quality (this is old news, but still).

Like back in 2005-2008 or so, we had the Twilight-Harry Potter dichotomy essentially ruling the scene, and thus these two series were responsible for why the Percy Jackson series, City of Bones and Vampire Academy, for instance, blew up so much, because these latter series all reiterated the themes that Twilight and Harry Potter (and their rivalry) promoted: secret worlds, beings, societies, and their institutions living among regular people in modern society. Then let’s go to 2011-2014 where the shit was dystopian fiction. It’s easier to illustrate what happened here in terms of trends: The Hunger Games popped off (rightly so) and thus Divergent, The Maze Runner, The Giver, Delirium, Shatter Me and The Selection were the trends now. Likewise, I wanna bet that Hush Hush and Fallen got hype in 2013-2014 cus of TMI and TID ending around that time. John Green had people reading all kinds of sappy, angsty teen lit in 2014 as well, I'm not even gonna expand on this. And finally, with the advent of Sarah J. Maas and Leigh Bardugo in 2015-now, it seems high fantasy is the trend (I also wanna say The Red Queen and the increased viewership of Game of Thrones plays a big part in this by the way). Because of Shadow and Bone, Throne of Glass, The Red Queen and such, it seems everyone and their mom been getting a book deal set in a high fantasy world, usually dealing with a monarchy/power institution vs the “common man”, and maybe someone has powers or some shit like that. Fairyloot itself is a testament to the success of this genre of YA.

But it gets even funnier when you look at how a certain book or book series pops off if it vaguely reminds readers of a previous blockbuster series thematically. When Shadow and Bone blew up, it seemed evident that The Crown’s Game would get attention (because Russia, lol). The Gilded Wolves has gotten traction and I’ll largely bet it’s cus of Six of Crows. I love The Cruel Prince with all my heart, but I’d be stupid to ignore the fact that this series got so much hype across social media because it was released in a time period where intimidating, sexy Fae are trending largely because of SJM. Heck, it’d be stupid to ignore that Fae are the “thing” right now with ToG, ACOMAF, TCP, and all the Fae business in The Dark Artifices and such. I’m not implying that any book lacks quality cus it got hype by the way, but I’m pointing out the way companies know that familiarity is a seller and won’t hesitate to play off it. Right now as we speak, From Blood and Ash is riding the coattails of ACOMAF.

But this even happens with tropes, not just genre!!! I do not care who the hell is mad but after Cassandra Clare made Will Herondale and popularized his Will-ness, if you gave me a dollar for every book boy with dark hair, blue eyes, a love for reading and endless snark then I’d be a rich woman. The “brooding vampire” was a whole ass personality that Edward Cullen popularized, bless his sweet heart. It seems the “progressive hottie” who insists on calling the MC his “queen and equal” is the thing right now: Rhys, Hawke, the shadow dude from The Shadows Between Us, even Cardan if you think about it. Love triangles were the big thing a decade ago, but now it seems that it’s assholes-to-lovers, as we see in From Blood and Ash, The Cruel Prince, ACOTAR, etc. Love tropes now are about power imbalances and the relationship between the hunter and the hunted - The Darkling was an excellent subversion of this trope.

I can think of so many more examples of the publishing world playing off trends man. To add, isn’t it just dandy that after the Shadowhunters Netflix series, we got Shadow and Bone, and now ACOTAR is getting a Hulu TV show? Also, it’s interesting the way “adult series” are getting more traction and I’d largely bet it’s cus of the success of Addie La Rue, Ninth House, Crescent City and whatever it is that Cassie has planned with her new fantasy book. Yes yes yes, I don’t need the business majors to tell me this is how the industry works because the publishing will apply the same marketing principles as any other entertainment industry blah blah blah cus capitalism and pop culture phenomena blah blah blah. It’s just amusing to see how in-your-face this industry operates and controls what content we consume and what we think is “good”.

Disclaimer: I do not think that tropes are bad at all (it’s almost impossible to write “tropeless” work). I do not think that trends are bad or that popular series are bad or shallow. I love, like, half of the books I’ve name-dropped here today.

[sugar-petals]

SuperM as Subs

↪ A/N. UGH these guys have me fucking spiraling. very excited to bring you this, please indulge 👀

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub, kinks galore, gender-neutral dom!reader

3.5k words | bullet points | this is all over the place there is so much to say i—

⌈ ten

— motto: kitten has ‘ten’ in it, but so does intense.

wowza honey

best choke out you’ll find

the stamina, too, oh lord. ten can handle a lightning fast riding without blowing up in two minutes

all while you choke him

with a waist harness on and ankles bound

bondage looks so good on him; he’s flexible and enduring. imagine a hogtie... art. 

such a beautiful man.

literally, rope marks, imagine that

we need to talk about his pain threshold as well there

things that have other guys screaming are a mere tickle to him

i can’t emphasize enough how lucky you’ll be. this fella does not have to be trained much. experience? abundant. talent? more than vast. he knows precisely how far he can go with what kind of kink. that is invaluable.

and now, the most mind-blowing part. stress: he encourages you to take it all out on him. in his mind, that’s an extra treat and a promise he gets it raw how he loves it. 

your satisfaction is his fuel, as is seeing you unwind. 

the whole progression from heavy beginnings to breathless ends

the boy needs you to go, for the lack of a better word, buck-wild

so yes, ten is your number one (pun intended) address for all things messy. he asks you to hatefuck him, you spoil him with it.

the sheer masochism of him

are you kidding me

listen i’m not a fan of the sin concept but in this case... you can sin all you want with him

tl;dr: angry sex is his thing. strong emotions. guts will be rearranged.

about the elephant in the room: yeah, this guy can bust some extraterrestrial, dazzling, sexy as hell moves

that means one thing. contortionism. you can bend him into every position you desire and fuck him like that. he’s petite but don’t worry. your babe’s strong

in fact, you can sit on his face and get one ferocious rimming daily

things will get wet wetter wettest

surprise surprise vice versa he likes his own ass filled with plugs and vibrators

the type that buzzes him into a delirium while you slap him. with his neck turning red and those pretty almond eyes going wide. 

they do hold the universe. he’s just so enthralling.

btw. talking about toys. having a fleshlight ready to make him moan and ruin his orgasm is a veeery good idea.

chances are you will draw cute english or thai interjections from him

in return, you can call him your prince and kiss him all over for aftercare. he’s no different, thinking of you as someone figuratively and literally noble to him. he’s thankful you fulfill his greatest sexual dreams. it’s true, you’ll really worship each other.

he’ll do his little mona lisa smile and doze off in your lap...

sub!ten is just priceless okay

10/10

i need a moment

⌈ kai

— motto: local strip club found bankrupt.

oh mY GOD nini

he knows how it’s done

did he go to sub school or something

you’ll find him at the stove around 6:30 AM in his apron

making you breakfast pretty much butt naked otherwise

flustered and sexy butler kim right at your service

looking very sculpted

dancing a little, as usual, he’s getting into it

in other words, you’re sure to get those eggs fried well

now, besides his skimpy clothing and waiter allure

kai as a submissive is almost definite to be an epitome of organization. he’s just good at it. period. lube and protection are always in the house.

you do your part doing maintenance for toys and cracking the occasional whip but really i mean... as the great oh sehun once said... never don’t mind about a thing when jongin gets the chance to put something in order

so lean back — kai is a service sub. he’s the type who wants to break a sweat for you

and have that very visible because he doesn’t own clothes anyway. well, well.

something more about organization

fucking according to a schedule sounds about right

you have it all planned out with a special calendar book just for that purpose

but don’t believe he’ll be boring and hyper-structured beyond that

kai is the precise opposite of dull as a lover but that’s a huge duh

he has both the acute sense of bashful romance and strong erotic feelings that come with a regular eyebrow wiggle

he likes to provoke the wild animal in his partner

reckless abandon

kai is 100% guaranteed to make you let out the beast. he enjoys feeling you go all out and grip him, pin him. everything hands-on is good.

grinding and gyrating is always part of sex. hell, even floating and flying. fuck gravity.

you need a certain level of dexterity. and hey if you don’t, you will pick it up from him in a solid minute

what i’m trying to say is that it won’t happen that the two of you rub against each other in the sheets like two blocks of wood (even when going into aftercare!). it will be fluid, ever-moving, energetic right and left with the mattress creaking all over the damn place

sex with jongin is one thing for sure: fucking fast. he won’t mess up his tempo if you know what i mean. the two of you will be thrusting and moaning until complete fatigue sets in

he whines a lot i’m telling you

it’s the surefire way to know kai is into it, being genuinely vocal is one of his best qualities as a sub

besides handling any rough pace 

this guy will have you sneaking into his gym room and have a quickie on the next best workout bench

and lord knows what else. 

the bathroom is another destination. wet!kai, the yearning romeo, is an image you won’t forget

prepare to get your hands on all of that

he’s gonna melt right into ya

and that is sub!kai for you

⌈ taeyong

— motto: vanilla? hardly heard of her.

to use an nct pun: the options are— limitless.

and another: you’re signed up for a... long flight.

and you’re gonna be the: boss

who gives it to him

and i’m warning you

he’s shy about it but

taeyong is simply insatiable. take his kinky reputation at face value.

what doesn’t he do

the softest softcore (feathers to tease him) to the hardest hardcore (edge play, hallelujah), the whole spectrum without any efforts for transitions

so you guessed it, a normal bedroom really won’t do.

neither does a standard dom

but since you’re knee deep into taeyong — go figure, you’re reading this — news flash you likely aren’t one

plug in all of your toys and cameras for date night. he needs his good dose of lube-dripping fantasy, homemade with a bunch of latex thrown into the mix

yeah i know that will escalate quickly

he wears it well i’m telling you

and also greatly enjoys you donning it for friday evening

it will frustrate him to the max which is a sight to see indeed

no other sub in super m gets harder boners over latex. that’s how it is. he’s just so drawn to the material and how much authority it gives you in particular

noona/oppa kink incarnate

hell, even daddy/mommy

he calls you that when you are forehead to forehead and catching your breath

because man these orgasms are going to get you so high, bodies gently intertwined

and very, very drenched

not just skin-wise

so let me underline this

your dear taeyong, no matter how innocently he can blink at you, gets his daily nutrient intake from cum. 

what fancy-schmancy protein shake is he interested in other than yours like literally none

put him on a leash together with baekhyun and you have two salivating, ultra dirty boys

so ready to please and swallow everything up

taeyong is a handsome handful

you’ll be horny 24/7

or 23/7 maybe because aftercare

where we revert back to adorable yong. he clings to you a lot, you nuzzle him all the time, the affection is off the charts

he’s pouty and sweet, smiling to himself

holding him tight gives him a big sense of security. 

safe to say he wants everybody to know he belongs to you in terms of PDA, too

it’s not restricted to domestic intimacy and sexual aftermath

taeyong truly has the perfect ratio of freaky and soft

god worked hard on him

⌈ lucas

— motto: when bigger is better, things get wetter...

ready for take off are we 

yukhei is one flirty crackhead you’ll love it

teasing will go back and forth

there might even be play fights and wrestling involved. messing around on sofas and carpets, you know the deal. things won’t get too rowdy, he’s being his 6′ baby self and you don’t want to use your whole bag of tricks yet vice versa

lucas eventually lets you win anyways

and acts like he’s lethally injured ffs

he’s an aquarius don’t come for him they roll that way

in comes the patient-doctor roleplay. yep that’s how the story goes

and you sure as hell get to take care of um

luke’s big lightsaber

alright

it’s throbbing a bit too much and needs medicine

so think of yourself as a jedi master training your disciple.

read: edging the living soul out of him. 

rough handjobs are just perfect

as is going on a rodeo trip getting the guy to tame those bucking hips with a lil punishment here and there. and with punishment i mean tickling even when he is close to orgasm

uh-oh

wong yukhei is a cutie pie but he has just about a bucket of cum for you spilling all over the place

he might get a lil embarrassed about it, that’s the sweetest thing

cleaning it up will be his greatest pleasure

so

ready for subby lucas yet?

he’s juicy

so what else do we have... 

(besides that he sounds like harry styles is dubbing him and that voice is going to turn you on so hard)

if his dominant doesn’t have an ounce of a muscle and biting kink that’s, how to put it, a missed opportunity

just licking him and leaving marks everywhere just has to be the biggest feast in history. you have him parade around sleeveless just to see the hickeys on his arms. 

and you don’t have to be frugal. it has to scream mine mine mine. yes, xuxi has some arm sensitivity going on. he needs your mouth on him doing chaotic stuff that leaves his jaw hanging open. to the point of you eating your brunch off his chest and shoulders.

there i said it 

breakfast with yukhei is cancelled. it’s breakfast on yukhei

as for positions: things are usually more chill and standard. just how much missionary will there be, you’ll lose count. he’s good at it. lucas has the condensed passion of ten people, it will be more arousing than you’d think. it’s also a good pause to your usual activities, you both get a chance to um take a breath

if he feels cocky, wong brathei likes to lift you up during sex and here we go again with a staring contest... which ends with a bright smile and kissing 

what did you expect

always remember this one thing. in his big himbo brain only one thought floats around and that. is. his. love. for. you.

a whipped boy

he’s irreplaceable.

patient xuxi reports speedy recovery

⌈ mark

— motto: good boys go to heaven after debuting a couple times more

sirs and sirettes, mark lee.

what did you think the “m” in super m stands for? mario, man, massive, market, model?

nope

SuperMark is what keeps the planet spinning

now here it goes

let’s get one assumption out of the way first

you’d think he fucks how he talks but you’ll be surprised

everything’s slow slow slow

the pace is very casual for someone who raps and thinks that fast

mark is just too friggin’ cute

a blushy cupcake

innocent and always curious what you’re up to

just perfect for all sorts of gentle dominance

you can reassure him when he gets nervous which happens every now and then

and put him into soft sweaters and blankets when he feels cold

maybe even building a pillow fort and just caressing him ad nauseam literally for minutes on end.

tousling his hair would be adorable beyond belief

the same goes for giving him cheesy pet names

or feeding him sweets

you can bet chocolate is his favorite. 

but it’s not just all about pampering him

keen how he is you can expect a lot of gestures of attention from mark, like carefully selected presents and foot massages

there’s a real gentleman at your hands.

a gentlemark

he might have come up with that himself 

you bet there will be lots of humor involved mark just can’t do serious sex

his intellect is yeahhh... superhuman

as much as his heart is squishy for you.

it’s hard out there. this world is tough

but mark is a safe haven to return to and have wholesome hours in bed with

30% sex, 70% aftercare.

you think that’s impossible? look into his puppy eyes and tell me all you’ll do won’t be spooning

it’s an art form and mark is just too inviting not to do a brush stroke on the canvas. 

and after you’re done spooning things are back to more caressing

a smooch left, a smooch right

for the 30% he might need a bit of outside support because his inner perfectionist compels him

so he’ll text johnny at 4:30 in the morning with urgent questions

because his mind is racing and he promised to wake you up with a set of spicy stuff

sex veteran johnny will calmly explain it to mark but also keep it short and simple

because man how early can someone text you 

and mark appreciates a crisp how-to that he won’t forget

even when you are chest to chest feeling each other’s breath and his brain almost shuts down

at the end of the day...

you say hey canada lemme get my hands on those big thighs of yours and ding ding his pants are off. he responds so easily to guidance

and his dancing skill always helps to get groovy with you

so

bust down markiana

you’re that bitch and you know it

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you and me, relax and ch...oking

leader on the streets 

screamer in the sheets

even the most peace-loving, noise-sensitive neighbors are going to dig the things that come out of his mouth as caused by you

just how good are his lungs

imagine him making audios for you. yes, god is real.

you just hit the lotto

the things his mouth can do 

byun baekhyun is a synonym of oral fixation when will merriam webster admit it

if there’s one person in super m who can nail the picture perfect drooling ahegao face without hesitation it’s him

he will pleasure you with his tongue so vigorously

that level of spit blowing will haunt you

and the slurpi—

THE NOISES. we can’t talk about the noises. nope, nope. the noises are not meant to be described to this world. 

you’ll suffer from incurable lust once you picture it

you know what his voice can cause

that would trigger a mass hysteria

anyway. moving on. 

baeks is the type to appreciate a mix of cheek-on-cheek cuddling and getting his brains banged out

you can toss him around, grab him by the hair, fuck him absolutely stupid

while also kissing his forehead and playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. as if he doesn’t want you enough already this will have baekhyun needy for so long

he’s the king of slutty behavior

and making both of you crack up with mid-sex jokes about who knows what, suho’s butt mole or something

he’s just too hilarious. on the other hand he likes being creative and concentrated

in his free time you’ll probably find him reading erotic stories, sketching sexy stuff (i.e., well, you) in a journal, or even a manual to the kamasutra. it gets him all hot and bothered to the point where he can’t stop being chatty about it.

baekhyun’s arousal always first manifests as a wave of words or texts 

your part of the equation is distilling the essence of said texts and getting to work on that perky body of his

and praise him plenty. baekhyun loves a lot of verbal affirmations and you’re glad to shower him with it.

kink-wise: he really has a gazillion ideas to try

costumes, gags, whips, pet play, sounding, collars, semi-clothed sex, cock rings, suspensions, you name it

as the cherry on top, a three- and fourway could be part of your routine for sure. 

that being said he might have a few dicks in him physically or mechanically because geez bacon loves fucking machines and dildos

he is 100% ready to embark on one hell of an anal odyssey

how much he can stretch out you can probably guess. and he’ll make jokes about it either way to turn you on

you’ll be certain to exhaust and stuff your lil’ darling to the brim but i’m telling you what you already know

he’s gonna be the happiest ahegao boy in the world

and throw peace signs when you take pictures of him fucked out

that’s byunbaek for you. one of a kind

a subby gem

⌈ taemin

— motto: 500 points to slytherin! 

this is what you’ve been waiting for i know I KNOW

red carpets out for the sensual sub king and nation’s p.r.e.t.t.y. boy

the international bombshell blonde

a bdsm luminary

DEITY

now, listen. 

some erotic feats are truly hard to execute

but there is always one guy who’s the exception 

and his name is lee taemin

no matter how unrealistic or complex your imagination of sex with him is

with this man, most of it can become real

effortlessly

because he’s a) an open-minded lover b) rich enough to rent ten dungeons — per hour and c) closest to perfection we as a human race have ever come 

taemin is a pro at bringing all kinds of your and his fantasies to life. that’s why it’s important that you sit down to talk about how your intimate encounters could look like every other week

primarily, as far as his taste is concerned

we’ve all heard about his tales of creepypasta romance

literally he’s been an idol for so long and still comes up with new baffling ideal type stories

so according to those

he wants to be run over by you and thinks that’s hot,,, but i say... we stick to flipping him over... like on a bed,,, no car involved

this pal is macabre you have to be an embodiment of the law to rein him in

police roleplay much. arrest this provocateur!

furthermore and on a lighter note

besides being jailed

lo and behold, chained up and decked out in lace, draped on a lip-shaped art sofa is how he feels the most in his element

add a mask and a corset 

just how glamorous is he

this guy has mastered all techniques of drawing you in with the most elaborate seduction. 

tremendous!

including dance: for your eyes only. 

prepare to have your loins set on fire.

because within the 4 walls of your home his every move will be pure danger loaded with sexuality. it would be even more of a public menace than he already is when performed in front of a crowd

keep those handcuffs ready officer

because it is your mission to stop that guy 

the more restraints the better

put five harnesses on him i don’t care as long as it contains him

and once that’s done

taemin likes to be stimulated and teased with you running silk fabric all over his body

he also enjoys you creating artistic pin-up-esque photography of him

with sultry eyes and puckered lips

and no worries. taemin will put his plump lips to good use elsewhere, too. all. over. the. place. servicing his dominant is an honor.

and those moans will be like a melody.

the literal only weak spot he has

is to kiss and tell. taemin gets carried away in conversation and feels pride when the topic switches to you. so... if you lick his earlobe and call him your slave, jongin knows the very next day and finds it very entertaining. 

taemin won’t deliberately spill the beans in a group chat but one-on-one with a close friend? he’s too excited not to talk about your chemistry and lets some juicy details slip if he can’t control himself.

taemin requires a dom/me who’s definitely not insecure and wants others to know who’s boss.

on the flipside, if you enjoy voyeurism? he is your man. it’s a matter of perspective entirely.

so to speak — even his weakness is a strength.

that’s all you need to understand about him

in sum: you got yourself quite an ace 

taem will press your number and you’ll have no sorrow in the world.

we truly are blessed by his existence

peace out

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2019. all rights reserved. do not repost.

[hlupdate]

Here he comes, one of the planet’s most conspicuous young men, stepping out of the London drizzle and into a dusty suburban pub. If there was an old vinyl record player in the place it would scratch quiet. Instead, the two-dozen punters turn hushed and intent, as if a unicorn has just trotted in off the street, and nobody wants to scare it off. “That’s frickin’ Harry frickin’ Styles,” whispers a young man at the bar, “in this pub.” The pop star is asked what he wants to drink and in a voice already inclined to undertones, quietly orders a cup of tea.

A former teen star who is now 25, a happier and rockier solo artist since his boyband One Direction split a few years ago, Styles has hidden himself inside a large, swamp-green parka. He’s tall, around the 6ft mark, and carries himself with a slight stoop. If Styles could only do something about his appearance from the neck up (elfin brow, wide Joker smile, a face that’s recognisable across multiple continents) you sense he could drink in pubs like this anonymously enough. As it is, cover blown, he removes the parka. A woolly jumper beneath has a picture of the planet Saturn on it. Maybe they’ve heard of Styles there, too.

We take a seat in the corner. On nearby tables, conversations start to sputter as people try to keep their own talk ticking along on autopilot while straining to hear what Styles says. I ask him about the sheer strangeness of this and other aspects of fame. Full stadiums, swooning admirers, an excess of opportunity and cash. Why isn’t Styles an absolute ordeal of a human being by now? Keith Richards, at a comparable stage, imagined himself the pirate leader of a travelling nation-state, unbound by international law. Elton John was on vast amounts of cocaine. Meanwhile, here’s Harry, known in the music industry as a bit of a freak, medically, having maintained abnormally high levels of civility in his system. 

Styles tilts his head, flattered. There are others, he promises. “People who are successful, and still nice. It’s when you meet the people who are successful and aren’t nice, you think: What’s yer excuse? Cos I’ve met the other sort.”

Styles read Keith Richards’ autobiography a while back, and he recently finished Elton’s, too. (“Soooo much cocaine,” he marvels.) We talk for a bit about whether extreme dissolute behaviour and artistic greatness go hand in hand. Styles, who has just released his second solo album, Fine Line, the penultimate track of which is called Treat People With Kindness, has to hope not. “I just don’t think you need to be a dick to be a good artist. But, then, there are also a lot of good artists who are dicks. So. Hmm. Maybe I need to start scaring babies in supermarkets?” 

A couple of lads hustle over to offer drinks. A photo is requested; they say they’ll wait. I’m weirdly anxious about Styles’s phone, which is slung on the table in front of him. What must be the black-market value of that thing? If fans were to get hold of it, would they want to open Styles’s music app first, to listen to tracks from the new album, or rush to see his messages and calls, to find out who Styles has been flirting with late at night? The interest in his music has always run at a ratio of about 50/50 with the interest in who he is dating.

It’s a ratio Styles tries to adjust in favour of the music by being vague about his ex-partners, real and rumoured (Taylor Swift, Kendall Jenner, Parisian model Camille Rowe), diverting to discuss his songs about failed relationships. A year ago, when Styles was floating around near this pub in north London, where he lives, and California, where he tends to record, looking for inspiration for the new album, his close friend Tom Hull told him: “Just date amazing women, or men, or whatever, who are going to fuck you up… Let it affect you and write songs about it.” 

Styles, who writes in collaboration with Hull and producer Tyler Johnson, sounds as if he took the advice. The new album, Fine Line, is at its best when capturing late-hours moments, drunk calls, “wandering hands”, kitchen snogs. A golden-haired lover recurs. There are up tracks, down tracks, some with the trippy delirium of harpsichord-era Stones, others with the angsty Britpop swell of strings. While I listened, I couldn’t help scribbling down names, possible subjects. On the lyric “There’s a piece of you in how I dress” I wrote: maybe Kendall? In a song about a lover “way too bright for me”: surely Taylor.

Styles says he keeps to a general rule: write what comes and don’t think about it too much afterwards. The only time he worries about an individual lyric is if it risks putting an ex in a difficult position. “If a song’s about someone, is that fine? Or is that gonna get annoying for them, if people try to decipher it?” Has he ever got that judgment call wrong and taken a bollocking from an angry ex? Styles raises an eyebrow. “Maybe ask me in a month.” 

I quiz him on something I’ve often wondered about. Why are the very famous so inclined to hook up with the very famous? From the outside it looks twice the hassle, with twice the odds of ending badly. “Don’t we all do that, though?” Styles asks. “Go into things that feel relatively doomed from the start?” I ask him why he doesn’t date normals. He seems tickled: “Um. I mean, I do. I have a private life. You just don’t know about it.” 

Styles doesn’t particularly like being asked about his love life, but is amused all the same, as he is about most things. When I ask about the logistics of someone as well known as him dating someone anonymous (“Do you need to give them, like, some sort of primer?”), Styles snorts with laughter. 

“Uh-h-h. Like any conversation, I guess, it’s easier if you’re honest. But I try to let it come up when it comes up. Cos that’s a weird thing to talk about, y’know? If you’ve just started seeing someone, and you’re, like: [he adopts a throaty, mission-briefing voice] So! This is what’s gonna happen!” Styles holds out his hands: no, ta. “I don’t wanna have that conversation, man. It would be fucking weird.” 

And not very sexy, I say.

“Not sexy,” Styles says, “no.”

A quick aside about his accent, which is hard to capture in print. (“Nat sexy, no.”) After a workout in a hotel gym recently, Styles says he was taken aback (“taken abeck”) to be asked by a stranger whether he was speaking in a fake voice. He was appalled. But after so long crossing borders and time zones, living and working between England and the US, the accent has undergone a jazzy remix, and tends to get farthest from its Cheshire roots when he’s around strangers. Once Styles begins to get comfortable in the pub, the flatter, no-nonsense sounds of his youth return. Nowpe he says, for nope. Fook, for fuck.

“What the fook are they?” This was the response of his childhood pals, he remembers, back in the village of Holmes Chapel, when little Harry had the gumption to show up in the playground wearing Chelsea boots instead of the approved chunky trainers. Styles’s parents had separated when he was very young, but there is no origin-story trauma: he has always stayed close to both. His mother, Anne, would praise his singing voice in the car, and when Styles was 16 it was agreed he could audition for a singing contest on TV.

“The craziest part about the whole X Factor thing,” says Styles, who auditioned for the ITV reality show in 2010, “is that it’s so instant. The day before, you’ve never been on telly. Then suddenly…” Suddenly you’re a piece of national property. “You don’t think at the time, ‘Oh, maybe I should keep some of my personal stuff back for myself.’ Partly because, if you’re a 16-year-old who does that, you look like a jumped-up little shit. Can you imagine? ‘Sorry, actually, I’d rather not comment…’ You don’t know what to be protective of.”

By the winter of 2010, Styles was a fan favourite, a key member of One Direction, a five-piece that enjoyed enormous national exposure and gathered millions of fans before any music had been released. Cameras filmed every part of their rise. There wasn’t any time in the dark to practise, test things out, mentally brace. “We didn’t get to dip in a toe,” Styles says. “But, listen, I was a kid, all I knew was: I didn’t have to go to school any more. I thought it was fucking great.” He remembers having a lot of fun, and being well taken care of. He jokes: “Maybe it’s something I’ll have to deal with a bit later. When I wake up in my 40s and think: Arrrggh.”

In February 2012, One Direction were feted at the Brit Awards, hours before they were due to fly to the US for the first time. On TV that night they looked young, silly, chuffed – on the precipice of something huge, and with no clue at all. Their subsequent wonder-run (five platinum albums, four world tours) had its foundations in their ridiculous popularity in the States. Right away, Styles remembers, “We were fuelling a machine. Keeping the fire going.” He remembers it as a stimulating time; maybe overstimulating. “Coming out of it, when the band stopped, I realised that the thing I’d been missing, because it was all so fast paced, was human connection.”

I first met Styles in 2014, around the time the lack of human connection was starting to bite. One Direction were promoting their penultimate album and I’d been commissioned to write about themthe Guardian. Management felt the boys were so exhausted that my minutes in their presence had to be strictly counted. Inside a circle of cripplingly hot lights, while someone ran the stopwatch, we interacted as humanly as we could.

I remember how jaded the best singer in the group, Zayn Malik, seemed. (Malik was weeks away from quitting.) I also remember how flattered and bewildered the others were to be asked a few grownup questions – and not what Louis Tomlinson would later describe to me as “who’s-your-favourite-superhero… all that shit”. Styles was watchful and quiet that day. By total chance, a week later, we were in the same London cafe and he tapped my shoulder. He was having lunch with friends. “Will ya join us?” 

t struck me as a quietly classy move. I was fascinated to see him interact with mates he’d chosen for himself. Styles was dry and funny, older than his years. After lunch we said the usual things about keeping in touch, and followed each other on Twitter. I kept an eye on his updates, about leaving One Direction, releasing an impressive, self-titled debut album in 2017, playing for 36,000 people in Madison Square Garden in New York, acting in Christopher Nolan’s Oscar-nominated war movie Dunkirk. Meanwhile, I did my best to manage the mess that had been made of my own account after Styles’s Twitter follow ignited a small explosion of teenage longing in my mentions. For at least a year I received weekly, sometimes daily, pleas from people who wanted messages conveyed to “H”. Still now, every few days, fans in America, Asia and Europe follow me to “see what H sees” in their timeline. 

He has around 50 million social media followers, and with that comes the ability to ripple the internet like somebody airing a bedsheet. I’ve noticed, though, how rarely Styles directs people to support specific causes, last doing so in 2018, when he encouraged people to join a march against gun violence. Why don’t you use your influence more, I ask? “Because of dilution. Because I’d prefer, when I say something, for people to think I mean it.” He runs his fingertips across the table. “To be honest, I’m still searching for that one thing, y’know. Something I can really stand up for, and get behind, and be like: This Is My Life Fight. There’s a power to doing the one thing. You want your whole weight behind it.”

It’s one of the things that sets Styles apart, the way he puts his whole weight behind the different aspects of this strange job. If you watch footage of him as a guest host on Saturday Night Live last month, Styles plunges in, fully inhabiting the silliness of every sketch. He has good songs in his repertoire (2017’s ballad Sign Of The Times stands out), and would probably admit to some middling songs that attest to his relative inexperience as a writer. But whichever of his songs Styles performs, he goes all-in, trusting that his zest and energy will hold an audience’s attention. He approaches this interview in roughly the same spirit, not enjoying every question, fidgeting, pleading for clemency once or twice, but giving everything due consideration.

I bring up something Styles joked about earlier: the possibility of waking up in his 40s with deferred mental health problems.

“Mm,” he says

Have you thought about therapy, I ask, to get ahead of that?

“I go,” he says. “Not every week. But whenever I feel I need it. For a really long time I didn’t try therapy, because I wanted to be the guy who could say: ‘I don’t need it.’ Now I realise I was only getting in my own way.” He shrugs. “It helps.”

Lately he’s been reading a lot (Lisa Taddeo’s Three Women stood out). He’s watched a lot of Netflix (crime thrillers and music docs). He recently cried through Slave Play on Broadway. I sense in Styles, at 25, a pent-up undergraduate hunger, maybe a desire to make up for lost time. “I’ve definitely been wanting to learn stuff, try stuff,” he says. “Things I didn’t grow up around. Things I’d always been a little bit sceptical about. Like therapy, like meditation. All I need to hear is someone saying, ‘Apparently, it’s amazing’, and I’ll try it. When I was in Los Angeles once, I heard about juice cleanses. I thought, yeah, I’ll do a juice cleanse.”

How messy were the results?

“You mean…?” Styles raises an eyebrow, recalling the poos. “They were all right. I was just hungry. And bored.”

One notable feature of Styles’s solo career has been his headlong embrace of unconventional clothing. A 2017-18 tour could have been sponsored by the Dulux colour wheel: mustard tones in Sydney, shocking pink in Dallas. In a more serious sense, some of Styles’s choices have fed into an important political discussion about gendered fashion. In May, as a co-host at the Met Gala in New York, he stepped out in a sheer blouse and a pearl earring. One evening’s work challenged a lot of stubborn preconceptions about who gets to wear what.

He says: “What women wear. What men wear. For me it’s not a question of that. If I see a nice shirt and get told, ‘But it’s for ladies.’ I think: ‘Okaaaay? Doesn’t make me want to wear it less though.’ I think the moment you feel more comfortable with yourself, it all becomes a lot easier.”

What do you mean, I ask?

Styles is leaning forward, hands folded around his cup of tea. “A part of it was having, like, a big moment of self-reflection. And self-acceptance.” He has a habit, when he’s made a definitive statement, of raising his chin and nodding a little, as if to decide whether he still agrees with himself. “I think it’s a very free, and freeing, time. I think people are asking, ‘Why not?’ a lot more. Which excites me. It’s not just clothes where lines have been blurred, it’s going across so many things. I think you can relate it to music, and how genres are blurring…”

Sexuality, too, I say.

“Yep,” says Styles. “Yep.”

There’s a popular perception, I say, that you don’t define as straight. The lyrics to your songs, the clothes you choose to wear, even the sleeve of your new record – all of these things get picked apart for clues that you’re bisexual. Has anyone ever asked you though?

“Um. I guess I haaaaave been asked? But, I dunno. Why?”

You mean, why ask the question?

“Yeah, I think I do mean that. It’s not like I’m sitting on an answer, and protecting it, and holding it back. It’s not a case of: I’m not telling you cos I don’t want to tell you. It’s not: ooh this is mine and it’s not yours.”

What is it then?

“It’s: who cares? Does that make sense? It’s just: who cares?”

I suppose my only question, then, is about the stuff that looks like clue dropping. Because if you don’t want people to care, why hint? Take the album sleeve for Fine Line. With its horizontal pink and blue stripes, a splash of magenta, the design seems to gesture at the trans and bisexual pride flags. Which is great – unless the person behind it happens to be a straight dude, sprinkling LGBTQ crumbs that lead nowhere. Does that make sense?

Styles nods. “Am I sprinkling in nuggets of sexual ambiguity to try and be more interesting? No.” As for the rest, he says, “in terms of how I wanna dress, and what the album sleeve’s gonna be, I tend to make decisions in terms of collaborators I want to work with. I want things to look a certain way. Not because it makes me look gay, or it makes me look straight, or it makes me look bisexual, but because I think it looks cool. And more than that, I dunno, I just think sexuality’s something that’s fun. Honestly? I can’t say I’ve given it any more thought than that.”

In our musty corner of the pub we’ve somehow passed a couple of hours in intense discussion. We’ll lighten up, before Styles heads home, with some chat about clever films (Marriage Story), stupider viral videos (the little boy who’s just learned the word “apparently”), that favourite-superhero stuff that, after all, has its place. He talks about the curious double time scheme of a pop star’s life – those crammed 18-hour days and then the sudden empty off-time when Styles might find himself walking miles across London to buy a book, afterwards congratulating himself: “Well, that’s an hour filled.”

Before we stand up I ask if he’s minded any of my questions.

He pushes out his lips, possibly recalling them one by one, then shakes his head. “What I would say, about the whole being-asked-about-my-sexuality thing – this is a job where you might get asked. And to complain about it, to say you hate it, and still do the job, that’s just silly. You respect that someone’s gonna ask. And you hope that they respect they might not get an answer.”

I tell him I do.

“Cool.”

Styles has to find those lads who wanted a photo. He scoops his phone off the table and flicks his thumb around the screen. Lately, he says, when he messes around on his phone in an idle moment, it’s mostly to look at videos – clips that his friends have sent him, in which their kids sing along to music he’s made. “Never gets old,” Styles says, beaming.

A few years ago, when he emerged from the boyband, blinking, shattered, he set himself three tasks: prioritise friends, learn how to be an adult, achieve a proper balance between the big and the small. Full stadiums, provocative outfits – Styles genuinely loves these things. “But I guess I’ve realised, as well,” he says, “that the coolest things are not always the cool things. Do you know what I mean?” He grabs his parka and his phone and, a little stooped, heads for home.

[holycrapharry]

Two Can Play That Game

The coldness of the sheet only reminds Harry that he’s by himself. So he lies there, thinking about how good it would feel just to have someone there. He just needs a cuddle. Oh, Y/N is always up for a cuddle, she happens to be his favorite kind of cuddle. If anyone would be there for him, it’s her. The two shared an undeniable connection, a bond that was probably weird to others. They were fully aware of their flirtatious actions and physical attraction to one another. They both craved any kind of attention from each other. He would run to hers if she needed a simple hug. He sits up in bed, rubbing his eyes before he dials her number. He feels guilty when he noticed the grogginess of her ‘Hello’.

“I’m sorry that I’m calling. It’s late but, um, yeah.” His voice has a slight hint of desperation and the raspy tone makes her head go all fuzzy.

“You ok? Not drunk are you?” Y/N giggles to herself, her tiredness settling into a slight delirium.

He’s always found her croaky voice so cute. “Yeah. I’m mean no, I’m not drunk. Will you come over here?”” He returns her giggle and hums into the phone.

“Well, right now? It’s half past 2.” Harry is silent for a few seconds, trying to picture her in her bed. He wonders if she’s snuggled into all of her warm blankets.

“I’ll send a car.” She becomes worried that he’s actually hurting or upset. Why is he being so persistent, and what is with that tone?

She sighs into the phone, thinking the situation is worse than it is, “Harry, are you ok?” He returns her sigh in a mocking tone. He was the only person she let tease her like that, she only let him mess around.

“Will you just come here?” She loudly gasps as she can’t get any word in with him and Harry silently laughs.

“…Yes, but-“ He cuts her off and raises his voice just a bit so she certainly couldn’t talk over him.  

“Ok. I’ll see you soon.” Harry smiles to himself, knowing that she would cuss him out to herself for hanging up on her. He sits there for about 40 minutes, doing absolutely nothing but waiting for her. When the doorbell rings, he jumps out of the bed like his ass was on fire. He basically sprints to the door and argues with the lock to get her inside. She looks a bit sleepy and very cold. “Why are you wearing shorts?! Fuzzy ugly uggs can only keep you so warm.” Y/N pushes beside him as she gives him a scowl.

“I didn’t exactly have time to get all dolled up for you. My apologies, Mr. Styles.” Her body plops onto the nearest chair and she throws her jacket across the arm. “So, what’s the matter?”

Harry notices that she has a tiny cut on her knee and fights a smile. He knows it’s from shaving, she always nicks her knees. “I just wanted you to come over. We’re both cold and stuff. Just come cuddle,” he puts on a goofy face and wiggles his fingers to get her to grab his hand, “You always say I’m the warmest. Come on, you don’t even have to spoon me this time.”

“You’re such a baby, H.” She lets him lead her back to bed and snorts as he practically dives into the sheets. The loss of her warm boots makes her body a little colder and the rush of cold air makes her skin pebble. He whistles as she takes off her shorts, “Can you not? You know I won’t be able to sleep in shorts.” She has to admit; Harry in bed is a treat for the eyes. She doesn’t know how she’s kept her hands to herself for all these years. Not that there haven’t been a few kisses that have gotten carried away due to certain beverages, but it’s usually innocent fun. Tiny pecks and bear hugs. Y/N snuggles into the bed and buries into Harry’s chest. He could win awards for this. He was all around the best cuddler, his delicious scent was a plus, too.

He wiggles his chest into hers and rests his head atop of hers, “You know, I can 100% feel your nipples through this shirt. They’re poking at me. How are you still that cold?”

She wants to give him an angry look but she’s starting to get cozy and wouldn’t dare move just yet. “Harry, God, don’t talk about my nipples. You only have a quilt, you’re the one who suggested cuddling for warmth.” His arms wrap tighter around her and he rubs one of her arms in an attempt to warm her up. The pair wiggles their toes together, without even realizing it. “I can’t help that I’m still cold. You’re nipples are literally always out, they’re like desensitized. I believe my cold, covered boobies will be fine. Now, stop thinking about my nipples and sleep.”

“Can I touch your tits?” Y/N rolls her eyes in annoyance. He asks her this at least once a week, ‘Can I motorboat you?’ or ‘What’d ya say to me giving those a squeeze?’ He was relentless just like a teenager.

“I’ve let you do that once before and you then wanted to see them. Not my fault you were too drunk to remember.” Harry pulls away from her a little bit and puts his finger under her chin to get a better look at her face.

“What? I saw them? And that was like a year ago. Did I really get to see them?” She snuggles her face back into the crook on his neck. He tries to be sneaky and snake up her stomach to reach her breasts.

“Yes, you saw them and gave me a thumbs up like an idiot.” Y/N turns her back to him and snuggles the blanket up to her chin.

“Well, now you’re in perfect tit holding position. You made it worse.” He giggles a bit then scoots closer to spoon her. “Can I?”

“Ugh, fine.” He begins to slip his hand under her shirt she tenses at his cold fingertips, “I thought you meant like over my top. Hands are cold.”

“If I’m finally gonna get a go of your tits, I’m gonna feel bare boob.” He eases is hand over her and gently kneads her flesh.

“This is why my friends give me shit about you.” Harry groans and stops his motions as he rests his chin at her shoulder.

“We’re just comfortable. I love you and you love me, s’no secret. You wiggle your butt into me when we dance and watch movies and stuff. You also have excellent boobs. Your skin is always soft and I’ve figured out that you like to have your nipples played with It’s not like we’re rabbits going at it. We’ve never had sex.” This position has become so normal that Y/n doesn’t mind or even care about the hard lump poking at her behind.

Her body unknowingly shifts into his hand, letting him get a little bit more of her to hold onto, “What? How could you even know that? Gosh.”

Harry gives her shoulder a peck and returns his chin before responding, “Because every time it gets between my fingers when I give you a little squeeze, like that, you breathe deeper. Plus, that Josh guy you dated for a bit told me. They all have something to say.”

“Well, what the hell did they say?” Y/N tries to brace herself for any further embarrassment but knows deep down it’s probably gonna hit her like a train.

Harry lets out a bit of laughter and rests his forehead on her shoulder. “They become chatterboxes after like three beers. They’ve told me a lot of things. But probably the thing that makes me think is that one of them said that you get a wax because you like how soft your skin feels when you touch yourself,” Y/N’s face turns bright red and she thanks god that her back is to him, “which is funny because you shave your legs and cut up your knees. Why not wax them?”

“I, um, I don’t really know. Did they say anything else that will make me burst into flames?” Her cheeks tone down to a tinge of pink and she bites her lip.

“Oh yeah, love. I know everything about you, you know? I know all your dirty little sex secrets.” Oh no. All of them?

“Do you want me to go home? How the fuck do you think you know this stuff?” Her tone isn’t angry, she’s genuinely curious. What exactly does Harry know?

He gives her another peck and fights more laughs, “I’m your best friend and you go out with douchebags who talk about you.” Y/N goes into a slight panic but is careful not to let it show. She simply brushes off the comment.

“Well, I have no dirty little sex secrets.” She keeps up her confidence act. She wouldn’t dare let him know he’s making her nervous, and maybe a little excited.

“I beg to differ, Nurse Y/N.” She gasps and turns to him.

“Oh my god.” She closes her eyes and shakes her head, kicking a foot a little bit in defeat.

“I know that you own a sexy nurse costume and had corny nurse sex. I know that you have handcuffs and sex dice. And a little birdy told me that you like your ass ate.”

“No!” She buries her face into her hands and groans but Y/N then realized that she too has some sexy little details on Harry. “Well, Harry. Do you wanna know something?” She turns back to look at his face, noticing how good his hair looks when it falls in front of his eyes a little.

His eyes are still bright with laughter and his arms rest on his knees. “Always. But I’m sure I already know it.”

“Oh, you do know it. But I think you’re forgetting that the girls you’ve been with also talk. And they all say the same thing: you’ve been a very bad boy. Have you been naughty, H?” His body goes rigid and his eyes go wide. They had all said that Harry was into being a bit submissive, that he got off on little punishments.

“Wh-What?” Y/N comes closer in attempts to make him a little uncomfortable and puts on her sexiest voice as she leans on all fours.

“I know what bad boys like you do in bed. I know that you’re quite generous with your mouth. I know you like that pretty hair pulled. I know that you like to tug one out while you listen to music. But no one told me that, I’ve walked in on you a few times. Nice dick, by the way. I wonder why none of them mentioned you had a big dick.” Y/N bursts into a fit of giggles and lies back down. “I’m better at this game than you are.” Harry’s eyes narrow at her, he’s been underestimated and just so happens he’s excellent at her number one weakness; Dirty talk.

He slides down the bed, swings his arm around her to pull her close. He props his head up so that it’s resting on his elbow, letting him have access to her ear. Leaning down, he begins to whisper, “If you had paid attention to any of those girls you’d know that it was me persuading them into thinking that they had control. No one has control over me, baby. Not even you, and you’re supposed to know everything about me. I do like having my hair pulled, I like having it pulled the most when I’m eating pussy. Did you know that? Did you know that’s my favorite thing to do to a girl? It’s pleasurable to give pleasure. There’s nothing like it, the way it feels on my tongue.” He moves his mouth so his lips are ghosting over her ear, “Having a girl open herself up like that, just for you. Mmm, nothing can compare to a sweet little clit between your lips, it’s addicting. Don’t get me started on what you girls do when I suck on your clits. Go fucking wild for me.” Harry can’t help himself, he runs a finger across her nipple and traces it down her side. He releases her and falls to his back. “Two can play that game, and I’m always the winner.”

Y/N lays there silently, not knowing what to do or say. Her skin feels like it’s burning and she’s pooling between her legs. She tries to speak but only a little noise escapes. She lets out a huff and she feels Harry roll back to her. “Got you all bothered, hmm?” She shakes her head no and licks her lips. “Liar. I bet you’re wet.”

“Harry!” Y/N swats his arm and pulls her sheet further up her body, pretending she’s trying to get comfortable so she can fall asleep.

“What? I’m hard. I’m not afraid to say it. You’d be an idiot to say that we don’t find each other hot. You’re in my bed, in a shirt that happens to be mine, while in pretty blue panties. Stop being shy. We’ve had talks like this before.”

“Yeah but it wasn’t, like the other times it wasn’t you who, um…, you’ve never…” She fumbles over her words and squeezes her eyes shut in frustration.

“Not only did I make you extremely wet, but I’ve got you speechless. A night of firsts.” He puts his arms behind his head while he smirks. “Ol’ H can always get ‘em.”

Y/N snorts and leans up to face him, “Ok, first of all, don’t call yourself ‘Ol H’. Ya, damn grandpa. And secondly, what makes you think you got me extremely wet? There’s like levels.” He shows off a little smile and raises an eyebrow at her.

“Oh I know the levels, I am the master of all the levels. Especially yours.” Harry gives her a cheeky wink and tries to hold back yet another smile. Nerd.

“Alright. Ok. You wanna know how wet I am? Fine.” Harry’s eyebrows knit together and his lips pout as Y/N takes off her panties. He watches them fly across the room.

“What the fuck are you on about?” He eyes her up and down, letting his mouth hang open with pure confusion.

“Sit up.” Harry doesn’t move so she pokes him in his chest. “Sit up, Ol’ H.” This time, Harry obliges, eyes widening at the sight of her leg swinging over his thigh. She balances herself on his leg by placing her hands on his shoulder and the back on his head, lightly pulling at his hair. “Is this what those other girls do?” His eyes close and he groans at all the new sensations. Her warm, wet pussy on his leg and her fingers in his hair.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this. Jesus Christ.” Her hips rock ever so slightly and her finger drags down his chest.

“It’s a night of firsts, remember?” He brings his hands to her hips and watches her slide back and forth on his leg, he can’t help but think that tiger tattoo is getting quite the mouthful. “Am I as wet as you thought, H?”

“Well, you certainly didn’t disappoint.” Harry his clutching the sheet in his hand and has a pretty bad ache pulsing through his cock.

“Good.” With that she swings her leg back over and hops off the bed, searching for her underwear. “You see where they went?”

“You fuckin tease. I think my dick is going to fall off. None of them ever said you were a tease.” She winks at him as she tugs her panties back on.

“Maybe none of them were worth teasing. And as you said, two can play that game and I think I won that round.” Harry doesn’t say anything, just frowns at her. “Alrighty, you grump. I’m gonna go make some tea, I’ll make you toast.” She heads to the kitchen, minding the cat weaving in and out of her legs. She grabs two mugs and shoves some bread in the toaster. She’s too busy filling the kettle to hear Harry behind her. He watches her, examines her behind and the curves of her legs. He wants to kiss them and bite them. Y/N turns around and jumps when she sees him. “Shit! Why are you just standing there?”

Harry makes a B-line for Y/N and grabs her hips. He lifts her so she’s sitting on the counter and he’s settled between her legs. “We’re supposed to do this. I’m not talking about fucking around, I’m talking about being together. We’re supposed to be together aren’t we? You’re meant to make me tea and toast when I can’t sleep, tease me when I want it bad.”

“I’m pretty sure of it.” Harry reaches over to take the kettle off, not breaking eye contact at all.

He gets his face even closer, giving her a ghostly touch of his mouth on her cheek. “Can we give it a go? You being mine, like being my girl? ”

Y/N runs her hand through his hair and holds his hand with the other, “Always been your girl, one way or another.”

Harry kisses her deeply, a completely passionate (technically first) kiss, “Fuck the toast, come back to bed and finish what we started.”

He then takes her hand from his hand then pulls her from the counter, leading her back to his room. He walks backwards making sure to keep his eyes on her and smirking as they down her body. Y/N watches his features change with the shadows that cast each time he passes a lamp or window. He’s chiseled but soft, she can’t wait to kiss all over him. Once they reach the doorway, Harry stops and pulls their chests together, “Always liked you in blue, Love.” He tugs slightly at her underwear. Harry meant it. She always looked so great in blue, so tempting. Keeping his finger in the band of her undies, he leads her back to the cozy bed.

A tiny gasp from Y/N’s lips leaves him aching again. In an instant, they’re kissing. And not like before, no this is what you would describe as hot or hungry. “Sit down.” Harry moves swiftly and allows her to straddle him. His hands roam the length of her back before landing on those cute blue panties. He puts the slightest amount of pressure as to signal her to move against him. Being insanely turn on, Y/N obliges.

Her eager hips grind against the hardness of Harry’s cock and he moans into her neck, “Fuck, I bet you know how to ride a dick.” Y/N lets out a light giggle but bites her lip as he begins to suck on her collar bones. “You can ride any part of me.” She continues into him harder and grips his neck while he speaks, “You want to don’t you? Bet you could make me come so fast.”

She leans all the way forward, pushing his back on the bed. “I want to hear what you want. I want you to tell me,” a small pause to take her top off makes Harrys eyes go wide, “I want you to do all the things you’ve thought about doing to me.” God, her tits looked amazing. He knows her nipples would fit perfectly in his mouth. “Come on, H. Tell me what you want.” Her hips move on him, “Be a good boy for me.”

Harry quickly pulls her down to his face and keeps a firm grasp on the back of her neck. The term ‘Good Boy’ set him off. He’s on his highest level and he can’t take any more waiting. “I wanna make you come for me. I wanna be good. I wanna be so good for you, Y/N.” She always wondered what he would sound like in a situation like this. She found herself thinking about it a lot actually. And it’s so much better than she imagined. As if Harry’s voice wasn’t enticing enough, his desperate noises reel her in further. There’s absolutely nowhere else she’d rather be. With his hand still holding her face in place, he darts out his tongue out to lick her bottom lip, “It’s after 5. We’ve only got three more hours until I call and cancel everything I was supposed to do.” Y/N grins and wiggles herself on top of him.

“Hmm, what to do first?” Harry flips her on her back, almost losing himself in her goofy giggle due to his accidental tickling of her sides.

He kisses down her body while keeping his hands on her tummy, “We could always run to yours and get that little nurse get up.”

“God, shut up.” Y/n rolls her eyes but keeps a smile.

His kisses become sloppy and spongey, “What? You don’t wanna heal me, baby?”

A finger moves her panties to the side, quieting Y/N down to a whisper. “You’re the worst.”

Harry’s mouth douses her clit with slow, torturous kisses. What a fucking sight above him, “Mhmm. Fucking terrible, aren’t I?” He keeps his eyes on her chest and mouth as he speeds up his pace. Her thighs widen and his heart races. Is Y/N a screamer? Or will she whimper and gasp for him? It’s killing him. He decides that it ultimately doesn’t matter because he’ll make her come so hard either way.

He spreads her with his fingers and sucks on her clit hard. “Oh! Oh, my fucking god!” To Harrys delight, she grabs the back of his head and presses down. Her pleasure is cut short, though. In only seconds, he has her on her belly.

He kindly places a pillow under her and sweetly kisses her bottom, “Ass up,” He smirks at how fast she moves, “Thank you, baby.” He keeps kissing but doesn’t give her what she wants. He enjoys these whines and cute wiggles into his face. “You know, they never told me you liked to have your ass ate.” Y/N’s eyes snap open and stops her wiggling. “Imagine how pleased I was when you let it slip that you did.” He gives her a gentle slap, “I’ve been good, don’t stop moving your hips. Use me, I know you want to, fuck my face. Please.”

“Jesus.” Her hips begin to move up and down, widening her legs as she feels his tongue on her hole. Her body reacts just how he wanted. Relaxing and tensing while he teases her. Harry sneakily slips a finger into her pussy and roughly licks in between her bum. “God, why are you like this?” He smiles against her but continues working his fingers.

“Oh? Whatever do you mean?” He knew he could be a tease, he actually loved it. It was one of his ways of hoping for a little punishment. He didn’t care about that tonight. He wanted to please her. He dreamed of this sometimes, having to tug one out to the thought of her pulling his hair or her yelling out his name. He removes his mouth and kisses up her spine to meet the top of her ear, “I could eat your tight ass all day, love, but I think I deserve a little somethin’. Don’t you?”

Y/N can only get out half the syllables of her words as Harry nibbles her ear and fingers her, “I- shit.” He removes his fingers only to tease her with his dick. He’s so hard that even the slightest brush of her wetness sends a chill down his spine. “Trade me places.”

As much as he wanted to take her from behind, he has to admit; this view is incredible. “You thought about fuckin’ me? You ever touch your pretty cunt while thinkin’ about me?”

She gasps, “Mhmm, yeah.”

“Yeah? Am I livin’ up to it, sweetheart?” How can he have such a sweet smile while doing something so dirty?

Those stupid dimples of his make her grin, too. “Yes.”

“You really do have great tits.”  Harry gently pushes on her back so she lowers her chest to his face. “Let me suck ‘em.” He aggressively takes a nipple in his mouth and sucks.

Y/N giggles, “Ah, oh my god. Stop!” She tries to move away but he keeps her close.

“No, shut up and fuck me.” She pulls away, his mouth making a faint popping noise as his mouth reluctantly releases her nipple.

Her hand goes to his throat and squeezes, “That wasn’t very polite.” She could’ve sworn she saw his eyes roll back into his head. How empowering. She felt tingly all over.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry.” Harry bites his lip and y/n feels his cock twitch inside her.

“Mmm, good.” She grabs his hand and directs his thumb to her clit, “Now make me come. I’m, ugh, I’m close.” She bounces hard on him and keeps her hand on his neck, not squeezing but resting with light pressure. His thumb moves just how she needs it and she’s clenching around him at almost every second.

“Move your hand or I’m gonna come.” She only smiles and playfully slaps his cheek before adding another hand to his throat, “Fuck.” Never in his life has he ever felt so good. And Y/N would say the same.

No one has ever made her feel like this. With a few more passes across her clit, she comes. She comes so hard that her legs squeeze his thighs and her eyes shut tight. Her hands fly from his throat to the skin of his chest, nail digging. “Oh my fuckin God, Harry.”

And there it was, the praise he needed to let his orgasm break loose. His brows furrow, mouth hangs open and shoulders tensing. “Ooh, shit.” Y/N slides off of him to lay next to him and he rubs her stomach. It takes him a moment to catch his breath but once he can speak he turns his head to her, laughing. “We just had sex, mate.”

Y/N rolling her eyes and trying to suppress yet another smile, “You’re the fuckin’ worst.”

[literatvre]

𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐕𝐑𝐄'𝐒  𝐓𝐎𝐏  𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒  .

tagged  by  lovely  sexy  @aronpiper .  these  are  in  the  order  they  came  into  my  head  i  honestly  couldn’t  rank  them  if  i  tried .

𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐒 .

god’s  own  country

knives  out

hemingway  and  gellhorn

10  things  i  hate  about  you

dead  poets  society

hereditary

bohemian  rhapsody 

us

beautiful  boy

a  cure  for  wellness

𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 .

song  of  achilles  by  madeline  miller

i’ll  give  you  the  sun  by  jandy  nelson

if  we  were  villains  by  m.l.  rio

the  secret  history  by  donna  tartt

delirium  by  lauren  oliver

call  me  by  your  name  by  andré  aciman

the  miseducation  of  cameron  post  by  emily  m  danforth

shadow  and  bone  by  leigh  bardugo

what  it  means  when  a  man  falls  from  the  sky  by  lesley nneka arimah 

we  were  liars  by  e.  lockhart

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂 .   ( artists )

lil  peep

lorde

harry  styles

lewis  capaldi 

billie  eilish

fleetwood  mac

hozier

the  1975

troye  sivan

blink-182

𝐓𝐕 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐒 .

game  of  thrones

westworld

the  oa

the  umbrella  academy

it’s  always  sunny  in  philadelphia

skam  france

arrested  development

the  end  of  the  f***ing  world

future  diary

schitt’s  creek

tagging :   @opcelia  @drugstoreglitter  @axelavriants  @ofstellardust  @svrgcnts  @moonwcter  @satterlees    &&   any  other  mutuals  who  feel  like  doing  this :))

[chrancecriber]

Radio NET Bulgaria (October 21, 2022)

23:58 JEFFERY SMITH - Shake It Up 23:55 PAUL TAYLOR - Epic Dream 23:51 PEET PROJECT - Sunday at the Spa 23:47 DEAN JAMES - Planet Smooth 23:43 MARK JAIMES - Sidetracked 23:38 GREGG KARUKAS - Manhattan 23:35 SAM BASSMAN JENKINS - All That Bass 23:31 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - Just Feels Right 23:27 MATT MARSHAK - Lookin' Back 23:22 PATRICK BRADLEY - Catalan Feat. Jeff Lorber & Eric Marienthal 23:17 GERRY SMOOTH - Let's Dance 23:12 QUINTIN GERARD W. - Cleared for Takeoff 23:08 PAUL MESSINA & MARK R. HARRIS - Olde Skool (feat. Greg Minnick, Ignacio Nunez & Dean Rickard) 23:04 DARRON COOKIE - Back at It Again 23:00 NICHOLAS COLE - Yokohama 22:58 MARIE THERESE - Gin And Tonic (Pier-O Bossa Chill Mix) 22:54 SUPER8 & TAB, JAN BURTON - Free Love 22:50 NICOLA HITCHCOCK - Surrender 22:42 PROJECT BLUE SUN - Naked 22:37 KITARO - Caravansary 22:30 R.I.B - I Look At Sea Horizon 22:25 SUPER8 & TAB, ALYNA - Perfect Day (Original Mix) 22:20 RHEINGOLD ENSEMBLE - Deja Bo 22:16 MARKUS GARDEWEG, MICHAEL FEINER - Fairplay (Let There Be Love) (Ambient Mix) 22:12 MATT DAREY, TIFF LACEY - Always 22:08 ROMAN MESSER, LJ AYRTEN - Break The Ice (UltraNova Chillout Remix) 22:04 SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA, JOHN MARTIN - Save The World (Matias Lehtola Unplugged Cover Mix) 21:59 RUSLAN-SET, POWERMS, V.RAY - Aspiration (Vocal Mix) 21:54 MARK WATSON - Submission 21:50 SUPERTANGOX - Last Tango In Paris 21:44 MENZI - Aufbruch 21:40 ROB NUNJES - Smells Like Teen Spirit 21:34 NO HORIZONS, SHEEMA - Summer Son 21:27 SYNTHETICSAX - Here Workin' (Dj Rostej Original Remix) 21:24 SEAL - Ooh Baby Baby 21:20 NADIA ALI - Is It Love 21:16 OXYGENE - The Ocean (Goldtripp Remix) 21:10 TONY IGY - Astronomia (Chillout Mix) 21:06 NAOKI KENJI - Maripri 21:01 RICHARD DURAND - Wide Awake (Zetandel chill rmx) 20:56 REY SALINERO - Total Delight 20:48 TORNIKE - Night Steps (Original Mix) 20:44 NOMOSK - Don't Hold Back (Soty & Seven24 Chillout Remix) 20:40 ROMAN MESSER, ROBIN VANE - Someday (Paul Echo Chillout Remix) 20:34 ROGER SANCHEZ - Another Chance (Afterlife Mix) 20:30 PIXALEND - Maritime Sadness 20:23 TRENTEMOLLER - Miss You (Lulu Rouge Feat. Asger Baden Remix) 20:19 SOUND BEHAVIOUR - Comfort Zone 20:14 HESS IS MORE - Yes Boss 20:10 SARAH MENESCAL - Don't Speak 20:07 TOUCH & GO - Straight To...Number One (Dreamcatcher Mix) 20:04 SENSPROOF - Starflight (Alex Atmospheric Chillout Remix) 20:00 TUKAN - Wonder Of Life (Chill Out Mix) 19:51 TWENTYEIGHT - Hope (original mix) 19:46 RUE DU SOLEIL - In My Heart 19:41 SHAUN ESCOFFERY - Let it Go (4 Hero mix featuring Jason Rebello) 19:36 VELVET DREAMER - Summer Breeze 19:31 VARGO - You're Not Alone 19:27 RUSSELL SIMINS - Comfortable Place 19:22 LISAYA - Falling (Roan Portman Chillout Mix) 19:16 SIMON LE GREC, DENISE GUTTENBACH - Touch Me (Original Mix) 19:10 VIV DE LA ROSA - Agua Caliente 19:04 SCHWARZ, FUNK - Rainy Ibiza 18:59 SARAH BRIGHTMAN - Beautiful 18:51 VINTAGE, MORELLI - Tree Of Life (Magnetik Remix) 18:46 SCHILLER, KATE HAVNEVIK - Don't Go 18:41 SCROOGE - African Laundry (Original Mix) 18:37 WHITE STONE - Lady 18:34 LP - Lost On You (Elk Road Remix) 18:29 SUPERLOOP - Be 18:25 SWEET EUPHONY - After We Close Our Eyes (Chillout Version) 18:22 WILDBOYZ, AMEERAH - The Sound Of Missing You (Tj's Candlelight Mix) 18:18 SHARAM, DANIEL BEDINGFIELD - The One (Downtempo Mix) 18:14 YIRUMA, RUVIN - River Flows In You 18:09 DOWNTEMPO GROOVERS - Smooth And Sexy Mix 18:02 THE THRILLSEEKERS - Dreaming of You (Tranquilo's Ambient Mix) 17:58 YANNI - Can't Wait 17:51 TARAS BAZEEV - Western 17:46 BLANK & JONES, CATHY BATTISTESSA - Miracle Man (Afterlife Remix) 17:42 BOYCHILD, SOUNDMOUSE - Counting What Ifs (Original Mix) 17:38 TOKYO COUNTERPOINT - To The Sky (Lemongrass Free Bird Remix) 17:34 DA KENT DJ AT WORK, SELECTA - Take My Heart (Da Kent Dream Of You Mix) 17:26 DELIRIUM, SARAH MCLACHLAN - Silence (Michael Woods Mix) 17:22 YANOU, DO - On And On (Piano Version) 17:19 AMAZONICS - Lovin' You (Astrovoid Remix) 17:13 LIFE AUDIENCE - Vanilla 17:10 KRISTER, DALBANI - Self Control 17:07 NATALIE RENOIR, STEREO DUB, BRAZIL XXI - Can't Take My Eyes Off You 17:04 SCUBBA, IVETTE MORAES, RONAN - The Sweetest Taboo (Remix) 17:00 EL SEGUNDO - Blue Marlin (Juan Padilla Serve Chilled Remix) 16:57 JACKIEM JOYNER - When The Time Is Right 16:53 PAUL TAYLOR - Friday@5 16:48 LOWELL HOPPER - Come On Over 16:43 EUGE GROOVE - Lampin' It 16:39 DEAN JAMES - Neon Skies 16:35 MARK JAIMES - Evenin' (feat. OLI SILK) 16:32 NORMAN BROWN - Amen 16:28 PAUL TUVMAN - For No One 16:23 PIECES OF A DREAM - People Say 16:18 JEFFERY SMITH - Visions of the Future 16:14 SAM BASSMAN JENKINS - It Makes Me Want You 16:08 OLI SILK - Su Casa, Mi Casa 16:04 PAUL BROWN - Wes' Coast Swing 16:00 PHILLIP DOC MARTIN - Won't Let Go 15:59 GERRY SMOOTH - Lazy Day 15:55 PEET PROJECT - Galaxies 15:51 QUINTIN GERARD W. - Cruisin' 0n Taxi Way 15:47 PAUL TAYLOR - Goodnight 15:42 GREGG KARUKAS - Tomorrow We Sail 15:38 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - Humble and Kind 15:33 MATT MARSHAK - One Happy Guy 15:29 MARK JAIMES - Miel's Song 15:25 JACKIE'S NEW CAR - Jackie's New Car 15:20 KEN NAVARRO - Pulse Point 15:16 JACKIEM JOYNER - When You Smile 15:12 LOWELL HOPPER - Forward Motion 15:08 SAM BASSMAN JENKINS - On The Move 15:04 A & MARK R. HARRIS - Heartfelt Prayer (feat. Ignacio Nunez & Dean Rickard) 15:00 MOTOWN MOE - Shades of Funk (feat. Chris Campbell) 14:54 JEFFERY SMITH - Summers Melody 14:50 DEAN JAMES - Can I Take You Out 14:45 GERRY SMOOTH - Solutions 14:41 PAUL TAYLOR - Straight to the Point 14:36 EUGE GROOVE - Tango In Tio 14:31 JEFF KASHIWA - Six of One 14:26 QUINTIN GERARD W. - Changing Signs 14:21 PIECES OF A DREAM - TTYL (I'm Driving) 14:18 MARK JAIMES - ABC 14:13 MEZZOFORTE - Nightfall 14:09 OLI SILK - Seasons Change 14:04 KIM WATERS - Step to This 14:00 PEET PROJECT - Veggie Love 13:58 NA & MARK R. HARRIS - A Better Day (feat. Ignacio Nunez & Jason Meekins) 13:53 GREGG KARUKAS - Cruisin' Your House at Midnite 13:49 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - I Need You 13:45 DARRON COOKIE - I'm in to You 13:41 DEAN JAMES - It's All Good 13:37 PAUL TAYLOR - One Step Closer 13:33 DEE BROWN - Controlled Passion (feat. Merlon Devine) 13:30 SAM BASSMAN JENKINS - After Hours 13:24 GERRY SMOOTH - Attitude Adjustment (feat. Judah Sealy) 13:19 MATT MARSHAK - Midtown 13:14 MARK JAIMES - Peak Too Soon 13:09 QUINTIN GERARD W. - He Loves to Play for Yahweh (Bonus Track) 13:05 KEN NAVARRO - Stoned Soul Picnic 13:00 JACKIEM JOYNER - Lil' Man Soul 13:00 MOTOWN MOE - Living My Best Life (feat. Nick Stone & Nils) 12:56 GEN SAX - Trapped in the Beat 12:50 JEFFERY SMITH - What's Your Flavor 12:46 LOWELL HOPPER - Just Chillin 12:41 EUGE GROOVE - Welcome To The Journey 12:35 DEAN JAMES - Thing Your Man Wont Do 12:31 PAUL TAYLOR - Find a Way 12:26 PIECES OF A DREAM - One for the Money 12:22 DEE BROWN - Deep Secrets (feat. Blair Bryant) 12:17 DREAMING IN COLOUR - Keepsakes 12:14 MARK JAIMES - Trigger Happy 12:09 wo Years On (feat. Jimmy Engher, Monte Mann, Ignacio Nunez & Dean Rickard) 12:05 SAM BASSMAN JENKINS - Can You Feel It 12:00 GERRY SMOOTH - Shifting Gears 11:56 JEFF KASHIWA - Do It Again 11:52 QUINTIN GERARD W. - Have a Safe Flight Home 11:46 EDGARDO CINTRON - Make It Real 11:43 OLI SILK - Easy Does It 11:39 ERIC DARIUS - Jean Maries Groove (Dedication for Prvcy Jeans) 11:34 GREGG KARUKAS - Barracude Bob 11:30 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - You Look Good 11:26 KIM WATERS - Cruising Round Rock 11:21 DEAN JAMES - Brighter Days 11:18 PEET PROJECT - Down to the Lake 11:14 SONIX - Easy Street (feat. Eric Marienthal) 11:10 COLORS IN MOTION - The Paradise (feat. Bill Joseph Flynn) 11:07 KENNEY POLSON - Love on a Two Way Street 11:04 PAUL TAYLOR - The Face of You 11:00 BONEY JAMES - Fresh Air 10:57 MARK JAIMES - We'll See (feat. Peter White) 10:54 DEE BROWN - Love You Too 10:49 KEN NAVARRO - Smooth Sensation 10:43 EDGARDO CINTRON - Oasis 10:39 JACKIEM JOYNER - Elevation 10:34 NICHOLAS COLE - Just One Night (feat. Steve Cole) 10:31 MARK R. HARRIS - Setting It Straight (feat. Ignacio Nunez & Daniele Silvestri) 10:27 SAM BASSMAN JENKINS - That's The Way Of The World 10:21 GERRY SMOOTH - Sweet Delight 10:17 NICK COLIONNE - Romantic Nites 10:13 DEAN JAMES - Home 10:09 QUINTIN GERARD W. - Latin Layover 10:05 STEVE OLIVER - She's Got The Way 10:00 EUGE GROOVE - House Of Groove 09:57 DREAMING IN COLOUR - The Dream Merchant 09:52 BONEY JAMES - Got It Goin' On 09:48 LOWELL HOPPER - The First Night 09:43 MEZZOFORTE - Four Corners 09:39 EDGARDO CINTRON - No Scrubs 09:34 JAZMIN GHENT - Work Wit' It 09:31 CHRIS 'BIG DOG' DAVIS - Whatcha Gonna Do For Me 09:27 DEE BROWN - Surrender 09:23 MATT MARSHAK - On My Way 09:19 PIECES OF A DREAM - Soul Intent 09:15 JESSY J - Mr. Prince 09:11 GREGG KARUKAS - Relentless 09:07 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - You Should Be Here 09:03 JEFF KASHIWA - Up 09:00 DEAN JAMES - DJ's Groove 08:59 A & MARK R. HARRIS - Westside Memoirs (feat. Ignacio Nunez & Dean Rickard) 08:55 STEVE OLIVER - In the Shade of Cool 08:52 PHIL DENNY - Brio Bounce 08:47 GERRY SMOOTH - I'm Glad You're Here 08:43 QUINTIN GERARD W. - Times Like These 08:39 EDGARDO CINTRON - Together Again 08:35 BONEY JAMES - Sara Smile 08:32 OLI SILK - Supersize! 08:28 CHRIS 'BIG DOG' DAVIS - You Just Smile 08:23 KEN NAVARRO - Magic 08:19 NICK COLIONNE - Got to Keep It Moving 08:15 JACKIEM JOYNER - Trinity 08:11 DEE BROWN - Make Up Your Mind 08:06 DREAMING IN COLOUR - Crosswinds 08:00 EUGE GROOVE - Days Of Soul 07:56 MARC ANTOINE - Still In Love 07:52 NELSON RANGELL - Mean Business 07:48 DEAN JAMES - Georgia On My Mind (feat. Salio) 07:44 WARREN HILL - Gimme Some 07:40 STEVE OLIVER - Chips And Salsa 07:36 REGGIE CODRINGTON - Living The Dream 07:32 EDGARDO CINTRON - Nice Little Bar 07:28 J.J. SANSAVERINO - Midnight Fizz 07:23 BONEY JAMES - Second Nature 07:21 CHRIS 'BIG DOG' DAVIS - Silver Street 07:17 R. HARRIS - Gus's Groove (feat. Ignacio Nunez, Jason Meekins & Bobby Lebel) 07:13 CHAN HALL, TONY CRADDOCK - Stay Awhile 07:08 GERRY SMOOTH - Rise Above (feat. Maestro J.) 07:03 QUINTIN GERARD W. - Attitude Indicator 07:00 DEE BROWN - The Prize 06:55 JAWANZA KOBIE - Let Me Lead 06:49 MARCUS ANDERSON - From The Heart 06:44 GREGG KARUKAS - Brooklyn Nights 06:39 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - Find Your Wings 06:34 DEAN JAMES - When I See You Smile 06:30 RICK HABANA - Paradise 06:26 STEVE OLIVER - You Rescued Me 06:22 EDGARDO CINTRON - Just Stay Home 06:16 KEN NAVARRO - Parallel Lives 06:13 CHRIS 'BIG DOG' DAVIS - Focus 06:09 NICK COLIONNE - Uncle Nick 06:04 BONEY JAMES - Camouflage 06:00 JACKIEM JOYNER - Stay With Me Tonight 05:54 EUGE GROOVE - Twelfth Night 05:50 PATRICK BRADLEY - All In 05:46 DEE BROWN - Tie The Knot (feat. Lin Rountree) 05:41 DARRON COOKIE - Red Moon 05:37 ART RUPRECHT - M & M 05:32 RICHARD ELLIOT - Corner Pocket 05:27 KEITH MASON - End of Days 05:23 PATRICK YANDALL - It's Our Time 05:19 JOEL DEL ROSARIO - Sunrise on the Sunset 05:14 GREGG KARUKAS - Silent Promise 05:09 EDGARDO CINTRON - Just A Little Taste of Your Love 05:05 CHRIS 'BIG DOG' DAVIS - Fall Back 05:00 DREAMING IN COLOUR - Twilight Drive 04:57 STEVE OLIVER - Magic World 04:53 MARC ANTOINE - Eclectic World 04:49 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - Used to Love You 04:45 BONEY JAMES - Lights Down Low 04:41 NICHOLAS COLE - The Weekend 04:37 NILS - Finally Here 04:33 PETER WHITE - Chasing The Dawn 04:29 KEN NAVARRO - No Other Way 04:25 ART RUPRECHT - Glorious Day 04:21 NICK COLIONNE - Circles 04:17 DEE BROWN - Pretty Girl (Skylar) 04:13 JACKIEM JOYNER - Back To Motown 04:09 EUGE GROOVE - Born 2 Groove 04:04 EDGARDO CINTRON - People Get Ready 04:00 CHRIS 'BIG DOG' DAVIS - Blue Light Special 04:00 BACH & A. KILLIAN - No Next Time 03:55 ERIC DARIUS - That's My Jam 03:51 PETER HEROLD - Better One 03:47 NATE WHITE - Feels Like Love 03:42 NELSON RANGELL - Old School 03:38 UNDER THE LAKE - Whatever You Wish For 03:34 ROCCO VENTRELLA - Come Morning 03:30 STEVE OLIVER - Let it Go 03:26 DANNY LERMAN - Snoopy's Dance 03:22 ADAM HAWLEY - 35Th St. (Feat. Eric Darius) 03:18 ART RUPRECHT - Never Alone 03:13 BONEY JAMES - Seduction 03:08 DREAMING IN COLOUR - Davy's Byrne 03:04 MARC ANTOINE - Corto Maltese 03:00 GREGG KARUKAS - Welcome Home 02:56 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - Words Of Love 02:52 DARREN RAHN - Into the Light 02:47 KEN NAVARRO - A Part Of It All 02:44 DEE BROWN - Smooth Talk 02:40 HERB PARTLOW - Drop It! 02:36 NICK COLIONNE - Say What's on Your Mind 02:31 UNDER THE LAKE - Old Friends, New Grooves 02:27 JACKIEM JOYNER - Touch 02:22 STEVE OLIVER - Wings Of Spring 02:18 EUGE GROOVE - As You Like It 02:13 H ALLAN - Bam! 02:09 ART RUPRECHT - Down Time 02:05 BONEY JAMES - Ain't No Sunshine 02:00 GREG MANNING - I Can't Make You Love Me 02:00 JESSY J - Tequila Moon 01:56 DEON YATES - The Night 01:51 DREAMING IN COLOUR - Waiting in Texas 01:47 MARC ANTOINE - California Haze 01:42 MEKIEL REUBEN - When I Get There 01:37 GREGG KARUKAS - Isabella 01:33 KONSTANTIN KLASHTORNI - Let's Get It On 01:29 DEE BROWN - Wake Up 01:24 UNDER THE LAKE - Another Mothers Day 01:20 KEN NAVARRO - By My Side 01:15 ADAM HAWLEY - East Lake 01:11 STEVE OLIVER - 3D Third Dimension 01:07 ART RUPRECHT - I Get It 01:00 CHRIS STANDRING - The Revisit 00:57 BONEY JAMES - Washington Bridge 00:53 JACKIEM JOYNER - Evolve 00:47 EUGE GROOVE - Let's Chill 00:43 DAVE KOZ - A New Day 00:39 BRAD ALEXANDER - Like the Dew 00:35 NICK COLIONNE - Buckle Up (feat. Najee) 00:30 AL DEGREGORIS - The Other Night 00:25 DREAMING IN COLOUR - Percolator 00:22 MARC ANTOINE - Groovy Sunday 00:17 UNDER THE LAKE - Can't Believe It's True 00:12 GREGG KARUKAS - Our Love Is On The Faultline 00:08 CHRIS GODBER - Vibin' 00:04 CHRISTOPHE GOZE - Norwegian Wood (2022 Remaster) 00:00 ART RUPRECHT - With You All the Way

[ramajmedia]

10 Harry Potter & Albus Dumbledore Memes That Are Too Hilarious For Words

When it comes to franchises that have changed the way people look at magic, nothing can quite compete with Harry Potter. After all, these are the books that defined a generation. And, later on, the series of movies that made us laugh, cry, and learn something about the power of courage and friendship. Throughout the course of the years, the Harry Potter universe has expanded, and fans couldn't be happier to see such a beautiful world being brought to life.

But, even though Harry Potter doesn't exactly fit into the comedy genre, that hasn't stopped fans from bringing some hilarious undertones to the saga. We are living in the age of Internet memes, so there is no way the franchise could escape this fate. It isn't as hard as one might think to fit Harry Potter into the meme world, especially when it comes to the characters of Harry and Dumbledore and their relationship. With that in mind, let's take a look at ten hilarious Harry and Albus memes!

RELATED: Harry Potter: 5 Times Sirius Was A Great Godfather (& 5 Times He Shouldn't Have Been Given The Privilege)

10 Just Drop It

The more one reads the books, the more one understands just how ridiculously irresponsible Albus Dumbledore could be. No, seriously, this man was out of his mind most of the time! While there are many quotes and instances out there that support this conclusion, nothing works better than a comic when it comes to proving a point.

This particular scene is a fantastic sample of just how inappropriate some of Dumbledore's decisions could be. Who can forget that when Harry's parents were killed by Voldemort, Dumbledore just sort of dropped Harry at his aunt's doorstep? No verbal explanation, no making sure he was safe. He just... dropped him?

RELATED: Harry Potter Adults That Are The Worst

9 Guess He'll Be Alright Here!

Everybody knows Harry had to be kept safe. This is obvious, and the efforts that some members of the magic community put into making sure this happened, even after Harry went to Hogwarts, are commendable. But, here's the thing: Dumbledore had been watching Harry is whole life. He knew exactly how he was treated. How much he was abused.

And he still kind of did... nothing? There had to be a better way to ensure Harry's safety other than allowing him to have such a horrible childhood! Those people were child abusers, and Dumbledore didn't really seem to care. Everything was dandy as long as Harry could one day fulfill his destiny.

8 Gryffindor! Gryffindor! GRYFFINDOR!

Even though every single Harry Potter movie and book deals with something different and offers a completely new set of adventures, some themes remain. And, of course, all the houses at Hogwarts vying for the house cup is one of those recurring themes. Plus, it's always fun to see the little things that either put one house ahead of the other or make it fall behind.

However, it's an ongoing gag for fans of the franchise that Gryffindor seems to be somewhat target of favoritism by Dumbledore. After all, it seems suspicious the number of points he gives the house for arguably questionable feats. And that's, of course, the origin of this meme. Because, hey, Harry's breathing after all! Or maybe it's something else. Whatever, 50 points to Gryffindor.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Hidden Details About Dementors You Probably Missed

7 I'm Telling You It's Fine!

Look, we know we've already been through the whole Dumbledore is an irresponsible adult storyline. But, once just isn't enough, okay? This cannot be stressed enough times; Albus Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard of all time, left the most important baby in the history of the wizarding world, on a doorstep.

After his parents were killed! And knowing exactly what kind of people his aunt and uncle were! Why would he do this? Well, the most likely answer is because, as much as we like Dumbledore, he just doesn't seem very inclined to care. But, c' mon, someone please put some sense into this man's head.

6 Did you? DID YOU?!

When it comes to adapting books into the big and small screen, some small and big changes will always have to take place. It's simply not possible to get every single thing that happens over the course of hundreds of pages and compress it into a couple of hours. More than fair. Plus, the producers and writers did a wonderful job overall when it comes to Harry Potter.

There is, however, a particularly funny instance. In the fourth book, when Harry is chosen as the champion, Dumbledore asks him calmly if he put his name in the Goblet of Fire. The keyword here is calm. Something the writers for the movie seemed to completely miss considering Dumbledore's over-the-top reaction to the whole thing. At least we got this hilarious meme!

RELATED: Harry Potter: Members Of The Weasley Family, Ranked

5 All Of The Letters!

One of the best things about meme culture is that when a new format arises, not a single fandom misses the opportunity to somehow implement it. It's happened with every single meme format that has made its way to the Internet so far, and that's a trend that, hopefully, will never go out of style.

Some people may not remember the chef salting his food, but boy did the Internet break for a while! And fans of the Harry Potter franchise were quick to make it fit for Dumbledore himself. More particularly, when it came time for Harry to receive his Hogwarts letter and the Dursleys didn't want him to see it. Good luck with that when Dumbledore is on the other side!

4 With All Due Respect, Sir

Hunting Horcruxes is not a task for the faint of heart. We saw it particularly during the second to last installment of the saga when the main trio's friendship was tested to the absolute limit. But we also saw it on the sixth installment when Harry and Dumbledore make their way to a cave where a Horcrux supposedly is.

It's not a very pretty sight when Dumbledore realizes that, in order to retrieve it, he has to drink the entirety of a very dangerous poison that caused delirium, pain, and a bunch of other lovely things. Harry finds himself obligated to make Dumbledore drink the last few sips, all the while calling him sir. Yes, we get the why. But, ist's still really weird, okay?

3 He Doesn't Need To Know!

How many times do we need movies, books, and shows about kids and teenagers not going to the authority figures when something dangerous goes down or is about to go down? Because, nine out of ten times, pretty much all of the horrible things that eventually happen could be avoided if you just go to your parents. Or the police. Or Albus Dumbledore.

When Harry discovers that the one and only Draco Malfoy is in charge of killing Dumbledore, he makes the very wise decision of not telling Dumbledore. And, yes, that was sarcasm. Because his rationale behind that decision makes absolutely no sense. Yes, he's busy, but we're pretty sure that knowing about a potential attack on his life would be a good idea!

2 What The Hell, Dumbledore?

Sorry, but this one is simply too funny. Remember when we were talking about meme formats that somehow find their way into every single fandom that exists on the Internet? Well, here is yet another proof! And this format might sound a little more familiar since it's been a while for a few weeks and shows no sign of dying down.

Plus, considering the hilarious tone of the meme, there would be no better situation to use it on than when movie Dumbledore asked Harry if he put his name in the Goblet of Fire. Come on, Dumbledore, take a chill pill. Have you met this kid? He doesn't know what's happening to him 99.9% of the time either. Why would this time be different?

1 Sexy Dumbledore

A very special shoutout to the amazing artists online who have the talent to take beloved characters and get them to the next level. More precisely, to the net level of hilarious. Everybody knows Dumbledore is a very mysterious type of character, and his character isn't exactly black and white. Some of his decisions are questionable, to say the least.

But this also means there is plenty of creative liberty for fans to go anywhere they want with a character. And, in this case, we're going the comedic, somewhat narcissistic route. And boy, does it work! Next time we watch scenes with the mirror of Erised, we won't be able to hold our laughter!

NEXT: 10 Important Things About Cho Chang The Harry Potter Movies Leave Out

source https://screenrant.com/harry-potter-albus-dubmbledore-memes/

[surveystodestressme]

50.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 11

1001. What has caused you to reinvent yourself or reevaluate who you are? i just wasn’t happy with who i was as a person and what i was doing with my life honestly. 1002. Name three annoying bands: insane clown posse, blood on the dance floor, and one direction when they were a thing 1003. Have you ever been to a foam party (a big dance floor full of soap foam that people dance in at a club)? If yes did you get into the foam? no i haven’t but that sounds like it’d be fun and very messy 1004. Who do you take for granted? Who makes you feel taken for granted? i feel like i take my boyfriend and family for granted sometimes and i shouldn’t 1005. Short, knee, or ankle skirts? short preferably

1006. Do you wear a hat? occasionally 1007. Did you watch Sifl and Ollie on MTV? How about Liquid Television? The Maxx? none 1008. What do you like that is NOT part of pop culture? idk rlly 1009. What music makes you feel: Sexy? buttons by the pussycat dolls lol Passionate? really slow music Violent? screamo Romantic? slow stuff Sad? any song with sad lyrics Happy/joyous? rock or pop Ecstasy? idk lol 1010. Who’s your favorite cartoon character? spongebob 1011. Does break dancing impress you? hell yeah 1012. Are you a smooth operator? not really 1013. Would you rather be a police officer or a criminal? a police officer 1014. Do you believe that government decisions should be made based more on economics or more on social reform? i mean, a lil bit of both would be nice 1015. Why do ‘they’ spend money to sterilize needles that are going to be used to give lethal injections? idk man 1016. This summer have you Been to the beach? not this summer no been to the movies? several Played mini golf? i think i did actually Gone for a walk? plenty of times 1017. Would you rather lay in bed all night talking or have sex all night long? i love talking all night long!! maybe a lil sex in between conversation 1018. Have you ever eaten tofu? yep 1019. Who needs a brain? everyone??? 1020. Who needs a heart? everyone??????? 1021. Does the moon have an affect on your mood? nahh 1022. Do you feel pressure on Friday and Saturday to have fun, go out and party? not really. 1023. Many people will say that the Harry Potter books are pure fluff with no literary value. Do you agree? nahh they’re good books.  i’ve only read thru the 5th 1024. Is Harry Potter comparable to The Chronicles of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings? i love the chronicles of narnia, that shit is sooo good.  but i’ve never read the lord of the rings books so idk bout those 1025. What are you doing next Wednesday? getting a new tattoo!! 1026. Why do so many people think Elvis is still alive? conspiracy theorists 1027. What couldn’t you live your life without? jackson and my family 1028. Are your hands cold? not at the moment 1029. Is your heart warm? yeah??? i think so ig 1030. Palm trees or snow storms? snow storms 1031. What bands would be great if only the singing was edited out? idk. 1032. What fantasy book would you like to see made into a movie? delirium 1033. Do you avoid risks and if possible stay at home? sometimes 1034. What SCI-fi books do you read? tons 1035. Would you be on that who wants to marry a millionaire show as a contestant? ehh maybe if i was single 1036. Who’s the best secret keeper you know? i don’t know if i even know anyone who can keep a secret tbh lol 1037. What is your favorite myth? idk m8 1038. Is it easier to live when you’re evil? oh yeah, i’m sure it is 1039. Have you ever belonged to a sorority or a fraternity? no 1040. Would you want to join one? absolutely not 1041. If your friend were doing dangerous drugs would you tell their parents? nah, it’s not really my business to tell them.  maybe if they were on the verge of killing themselves 1042. Would you rather be a unicorn, mermaid/man, or a sorceress/er? sorceress!! 1043. Are leather pants sexy? On you? i’ve never worn them but probably lol 1044. Did you tell someone you love him or her today? not yet 1045. Have you ever given blood? i’ve never donated blood but i’ve had blood drawn for medical purposes & hated it 1046. Have you ever been thrown out of someplace? nope 1047. What do you daydream about? life 1048. Are you a miracle? nope 1049. If America is one nation under god then are atheists citizens? yeah 1050. Should they be? i think so 1051. If you could pick any rock star to replace the Ozbournes in their reality show, whom would you pick? idk i don’t even watch that show soo 1052. What are your feelings about Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of Christ? i personally thought it was terrible lol 1053. What did you think about the last episode of Sex in the City? never watched it 1054. What is your favorite movie with Adam Sandler in it? either happy gilmore or grown ups 1055. What is your biggest problem? procrastination 1056. Have you ever been arrested? no. 1057. Can musicians be held responsible for influencing people to behave badly? no 1058. Do you believe that there are subliminal messages embedded in some TV shows, movies & music? absolutely 1059. Is there anything that you believe should be banned for any reason? rape, abuse, and so many other things 1060. How often do you eat too much? allll the time 1061. Have you ever descended into pure madness? nahh 1062. Would you want to? who would??? 1063. Do green m&m’s make you feel sexy? i don’t even like m&ms 1064. If you died tomorrow, what mark would you have left on the world? not a very big one but hopefully the people who i have interacted with will think of me as a good person 1065. What movie would you NEVER want to see? there’s plenty. 1066. What annoys you the most about yourself? i procrastinate a lot 1067. How do you feel about capitalism? nothing. 1068. How do you feel about socialism? idk 1069. How do you feel about communism? - 1070. Has anyone ever tried to injure you? i don’t think so 1071. Has anyone ever tried to kill you? not to my knowledge 1072. How do you know when it’s time to break up with someone? when you are no longer happy when you’re with them 1073. What is your opinion of the Janet jackson/Justin Timberlake superbowl exposure incident? idk 1074. What’s the most annoying sound? when people eat with their mouth open 1075. Who was your childhood hero? my sister 1076. With nearly 100 channels why is NOTHING ever on? idk man, i usually find something to watch but i only watch tv when there is something specific playing that i want to watch 1077. Would you adopt a stray kitty wandering through your neighborhood? yeah, i’d take ti to the vet to make sure it’s healthy first and give it a bath and stuff 1078. Describe what you look like: well right now i’m wearing a hoodie and pajama pants, my hair is a mess bc i just woke up 1079. Describe what you ARE like: driven, funny, talkative, passionate, friendly, kind 1080. What bad habit do you have that affects other people as much as it affects you? anger??? idk 1081. How did you party new years eve 1999? i was 3 yrs old lol so i didn’t party very much i’m sure 1082. Does second hand smoke bother you? kind of 1083. Have you ever: Dumped a drink over someone’s head? nope Dumped a drink over your own head? yeah Bit someone? yep Torn at someone’s clothes? not that i know of Made out in the bathroom? i’m sure i have 1084. Which Lord of the Rings movie has the best ending? i don’t remember 1085. Do you have any interesting scars? i wouldn’t call them interesting 1086. Is it better for people to change and evolve their ideas or always be consistent? i think it is good to change and evolve 1087. Warped tour, Lollapalooza or Area concert? any, ig 1088. What are you missing in your life? motivation 1089. Do you ever know when someone is thinking about you? not unless they tell me that they are 1090. What could you make a sculpture out of that’s in the room with you right now? paper 1091. Do you believe in the lost city of Atlantis? i don’t really know 1092. Have you ever read The Little Prince? no, i want to tho 1093. This is Mr. fish <>< What’s the best picture you can make on your keyboard? <(^-^)< 1094. What did Mr. Octopus say to Mrs. Octopus? idk???? 1095. Let’s see if I’m psychic. Write a yes or no question here. am i wasting my time here? 1096. Write another yes or no question. will i do good in my new college? 1097. Think of just one more yes or no question. will i be successful in my future career? 1098. Type one question that can be answered with a color (example: what color is my car) what color i my underwear? 1099. Think of a number between one and one hundred & type it down. 88 1100. Write one more question, anything you want. what should i be doing right now?