#HI I'M “THE CORE” YOU MAY REMEMBER ME FOR BEING THE ONE WHERE THE GIRLS KISS IN THE JURASSIC FRANCHISE

[swan2swan]

What the heck is this episode.

[myun-saidthoughts]

12th House Venus: I Choose Longing

(Disorganized attachment style edition)

"I'll still choose my imagination instead of choosing a tangible you."

My soul is drawn to someone who won't choose me; my body finds comfort in the desire of someone who longs for me but ultimately chooses another.

As I sit on my bed, lost in yet another mesmerizing song, I start to feel this type of longing that my own soul forgets it calls for. I stare into the abyss of what I think is my room and this sinking feeling seeps in; suddenly I start to feel as if I have said goodbye to someone who was never even mine.

I start to imagine false memories in my mind, and i'm suddenly remembering this false goodbye. My soul can't tell the difference, is it reality or just my imagination? I cling onto these false memories as if the person I long for has just chosen another, It's like i'm reading a fabricated story and my eyes can only look in between the lines, not at the words but instead I stare at the unsaid.

Instead, I lie on my bed, imagining a scenario where I walk into a room and I see the side of his face lost in conversation with someone else, my heart clenches, I take a deep breath in and to my expected surmise, I see him with her. And as I look over he turns to look at me, and as our eyes interlock I imagine him clenching his fists, holding his breath while whispering to himself, "I wish you were her."

Instead, I stare at the wall, imagining a scenario where I'm walking into a bar and I see him with her. We make eye contact; he takes a breath and looks down. I can't look away, my heart is suddenly wishing for his hello but seconds pass, our eye contact breaks, and as he walks away, I imagine him holding her hand, while thinking to himself, "It should have been her."

Am I choosing this? Am I wishing to long for someone instead of ever being with them? Why do I envision scenarios where the person I say I want has said goodbye to me before, but only after I fell for him, and after he fell for me too?

"My body finds comfort in only the idea of you, and because I fear accepting the love my own soul reluctantly calls for, I will choose these imagined scenarios over ever being truly yours; i'd rather break my own heart over and over again than allow the love I so desperately wish for in; even it means I'll stare at the ceiling, searching through the what if's and what could be's, I'll still choose my imagination instead of choosing a tangible you."

12th House Venus + Moon aspecting Neptune may relate because oftentimes these individuals will search and run towards those who take, those who won't emotionally satisfy or emotionally give in the way you need. Instead those you choose are those who may have to need you, you're the other woman, the mistress, the girl he hasn't told his friends about, the girl in the shadows or the one he only calls at 2AM. Or you feel a sense of power and a sense of worth when he does decide to choose you over someone he has self proclaimed to be with. Therefore he is with another girl yet he may "dream" and secretly desire you. You're the only one who "gets him" he says, you're the only one he feels attracted to or close with. And on those nights where you wait for his 2AM call, you are receiving a sense of "power" that in this moment he is choosing you, he just may not choose you in the morning, and in that weary state you feel comfortable. And because of that you'll always be searching for his approval or acknowledgement. In essence, you somehow are never the chosen girl, and you find yourself in loops and cycles of choosing those who won't choose you. These individuals are reflecting to you core wounds that you haven't acknowledged or accepted. Especially if you have many 12H house placements such as a 12H Moon/Venus or Pisces Moon. Those patterns you've reluctantly learned from your childhood or from your Mom, has lead you here. Now you stare in the mirror and question your wholeness, you question why the ones you choose never seem to choose you, and your soul is instead asking to give yourself that type of love that you're too scared to develop.

If this scenario resonates with you, then this individual is provoking a wound within yourself that deals with the acceptance of receiving authentic love. This innate need to only give highlights your own fear of receiving real reciprocal, stable, tangible love.

This dilemma is your concrete wall that your brain has created for you to stay "safe." You feel comfortable in shallow connections, you feel more at ease in meaningless connections, and yet a part of your soul is asking for more, a part of your soul knows how much you can give and instead of asking for a sip of the love you crave, you'd rather stay parched.

You'd rather stay away from the chance of truly ever being someone's person, because if you allowed them in, if you allowed them to see you, then they'll have the power to truly break you;

This is how I have felt in the past regarding romantic connections, and for me, these types of feelings only occur when the connection I am forming holds the possibility that I can fall for the person. Especially if the boy I like showcases a slight desire for another or isn't meeting my expectations, I'll get into this longing state where I imagine our connection is completely over, I imagine that he is with someone else and I sit in it; and this feeling somehow feels comfortable for me. It's what keeps me in shallow connections, It's what keeps my walls up, it's what creates the distance between me and love. I am terrified of ever being someone else's, I am terrified of being wanted by someone I can see myself falling for, and yet I want nothing more.

I choose those who won't choose me because this uncertainty is what my body knows. My body feels "safe" in this emotional wishing because it's what I have been used to ever since I was young. Once they somehow show consistency within the connection I feel uneasy and confused, I feel more uncomfortable with them openly stating their desires for me, I feel more unsafe when they look into my eyes to tell me "I want you." I need to want them, and they need to want me too, but only in intervals. I need to see him with another while staring at me, I need to question his feelings and imagine the what ifs. If I can't then a part of me can't want him.

When the connection becomes "real" or more "open" I start to feel reluctant and uneasy, once my self worth isn't being questioned, I ask myself "Do I care?" "Do I actually want him?"

This post is more word vomit, I really don't know if others will relate but this is why I am so drawn to nodal synastry + water house synastry overlays, I don't feel safe with anyone, I don't like being with someone who doesn't bring me ease or the sense of acceptance, and I wanted to share my thoughts.

I have:

A Scorpio Moon that exactly squares my Neptune

A 12th House Venus, Mercury, Chiron and Lilith

My 12th House Venus sextiles my Neptune

A disorganized attachment style with abandonment wounds.

[jealousmartini]

Oh, nothing much, just a list of reasons why I am so excited to permashift to my ultimate 4d reality //better current reality//

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

— EXPERIENCING DESIRED SCENARIOS

I am a hardcore daydreamer just like my brother and sister shifters(you guys🫵🏾), and I can't wait to really live the silly imagines I always have in my head. Even if it's something relatively small, I will still get to live every second of them.

Idk if some of you guys will remember that one post where I mentioned Googlebox? But I'm mentioning it again🙄 because I scripted me, my love of my life, his sister who is my bff, my own girl bff and her boyfriend are part of the program teehee. I swear no one will ever understand how much of a comfort show Googlebox is to me and in general.

The idea of being on TV whilst watching TV and relaxing with my favourite people and eating my favourite food just makes me melt. It's such a core memory to me and idk I just love showing off how perfect my family is to everyone else

— FOOD

I can't wait for all the delicious food I'll get to eat. There will never be a single time where I have to eat something I don't like or don't want to ever again, because why should I have to? I'm mostly excited to have stuff like popeyes, McDonald's, seafood boils, those Korean and Japanese foods you see on mukbangs, loads of fruit bowls (I really do love fruit), basically everything meat/barbecue, pasta including ramen, and sweets too cus🧍🏿‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

— NO UGLY CLOTHES ALLOWED

Never will there be a day or night where I will ever need to wear clothes that don't suit me or clothes I don't like. My closet is going to be full of the cutest and gorgeous late 90s and early 2000s skirts, shirts, bellbottoms, flares, jackets, oversized ts, shorts, belts, slippers, jewelry, panties and bras etc etc

— ALREADY COMPLETED WORK

In my better cr, I scripted that I am already miles ahead of everyone in college work (and best believe all my work is at distinction level) so I have all the time in the world to do what I want until the next brief; I also scripted the date of month that I will wake up in my better cr in is the 17th April last week so I will have only 3 days of college next week (because i go in on mondays, tuesdays, wendsays and Thursdays) and 4 weeks of freedom to myself. (I also scripted my teachers let me do my own art work in my free time in class, cus sometimes all a girl wants to do is draw their ocs🥺)

Edit :: 17th of may now!!

— CURRENTLY IN MY MOVING ERA

In better cr, I am kind of in the planning process of moving out of my house to my apartment penthouse with my friend group. I'm thinking of moving out at 18 or 19 years old since I'm 17 rn and I still want to explore my better cr house cus it's wayyyy better than this one. But even once I've moved out I'll probably keep visiting my old home where my mum and her husband lives because.

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

Overall, I am so excited to experience everything I have ever dreamed of. I know I deserve my freedom and peace, excitement, and joy. Being able to just do what I want when I want and always knowing that no matter what, everything is going to be okay.

Life is so amazing, and it's so worth living. I know I will manifest my desired reality in no time, and I know all of the stress, time, anxiety, and patience won't be for nothing. Life is mine to explore, and I can't wait to do so

@4ellieluv @livingmydreamlife5555 @theshifterbear @cocozydiaries

[sistersorrow]

Finished Harrow the Ninth a couple hours ago

I'm not a reviewing type, so I'm just gonna include a bunch of things that made me have reactions and other miscellaneous things about my experience with the book

I don't care what Gideon says, the waters may be choppy, but the Harrow x Ianthe ship ain't sunk yet

TV Tropes is a godsend for me, cause it wasn't until I read the Foreshadowing page that I remembered a bunch of details I'd completely forgot about

I didn't bother to actually google how you pronounce Ianthe until 300 pages into the second book

People sold Gideon the Ninth as "lesbian necromancers in space" but Harrow the Ninth is the one where Harrow and Ianthe are both down horrendous

I had a vague inkling that The Locked Tomb was set in our future just because there were nine houses on nine planets and the Ninth House sounded like Pluto, but I did not expect this to be all but confirmed through a 10,000 year old immortal necromancer referencing the "It's for church honey" Facebook post and God himself mentioning None Pizza Left Beef

This does not however explain not 10,000 year old Gideon referencing Llamas in Hats

No one is allowed to say they Fucked Nasty Style anymore unless it involved cutting off your partner's arm and replacing it with a necromanticly animated bone one

The author confirmed on Reddit that partway through writing that scene she realised how sexually charged it felt and ran with it

My pronouns are She/ cause I'll never be Her (toxic immortal lich wife Ianthe, who killed a man and ate his soul to attain unlimited power and get her face on posters)

The author has stated that Ianthe is a very intentional Draco in Leather Pants character with the core differences being that she's a woman and as a sense of humour, which is why she is in fact Best Girl

I was left wondering if I'd imagined all the memes being referenced cause TV Tropes didn't make mention of a single one, so I checked the Locked Tomb subreddit to make sure I had not performed The Work on myself

If there are any Homestuck references, I didn't notice, cause I have expunged most of my knowledge of it

Dad jokes are the pinnacle of all humour

The Emperor is really bad at gaslighting

Harrow may have died with the last thing she ever saw being a nudie mag that doesn't exist, which is just hilarious

Ianthe did everything wrong, and that's why she's the best

Reading this book has reminded me I'm very bad at picking up on foreshadowing, hence scrolling through TV Tropes right after finishing the book

That threesome is the most uncomfortable I've been in weeks, which makes it good writing

I'm probably gonna read the short stories next then start Nona the Ninth sometime next week

[asgardian--angels]

I don't talk about this much but I'm just going to say it now.

there's something uniquely vile about being the daughter of a father who is a trump supporter. and not just a casual supporter, a full drank-the-kool-aid moon-landing-was-fake deep red neonazi maga crackpot. because I had to watch that change happen over the last decade. my father, an intelligent, introspective scientist, whose brain has essentially turned to mush and critical thinking skills shriveled up and died thanks to that orange rapist.

He has always loved me, supported me to be whatever I want to be, given me the most opportunities he could in life. He taught me to be kind, and forgiving, and to remember that we are all in this together. And now, while still claiming to feel that way, he vehemently, and viciously, spews hateful rhetoric and vitriol against women, against climate change, against democrats, against all the things I am, against the field of study I've dedicated my life, my soul to. We can no longer even have a regular conversation because all he does all day is sit online and watch trump rallies, listen to 'patriot' podcasts, and troll people on forums. He has nothing else to talk about, and cannot be negotiated with. Him and I used to love having sparring matches of wit, picking topics to debate in good faith. Now, any hint of a challenge and he becomes enraged, petty, and belittling. He somehow maintains this hypocritic fallacy in his mind that he is a good person, that he does everything to make my life better, and that humankind must come together to make a better future. Just, not *those* people, I guess, not them or them or them who aren't even people to him.

And I must occupy some gray area in his mind, Schrodinger's political prisoner. Because even though he knows I am a democrat, that I am a woman who will be affected by these laws, that I study climate change in the work that he supposedly supports, I must not be to him, one of 'those' people. I'm not like 'those' democrats, 'those' women, 'those' climate change cronies. Except when I am, because if we argue, if we discuss policy at all, I am just a girl, under his roof, and I have no idea what I'm talking about - because I'm young, because women aren't capable of understanding His greatness, because Elite Academia has brainwashed me into being a liberal. That my mom and I are ganging up on him, constantly, to paint him as the villain when he's only the victim. He's going to elect the man who will save us all, whether we want it or not. Our say doesn't matter, because we just don't understand.

I miss the father I knew. He was always petty, always ready to poke and prod - he hurt my feelings plenty, but I could deal with it. But I felt he was genuinely good at his core, that he tried his best. Now, I don't know him. I don't recognize him anymore. I've imagined so many times what I would say to him if I could give a speech, or write a letter, where he could not talk back and just had to listen. I don't know if I'll ever get that chance, or take it. But I know he has truly no idea how hurt and betrayed I am, and he wouldn't believe me if I told him. He knows no shame, and he does not apologize.

I'm not looking forward to spending the winter at home with him every day for two months. I don't see how I can look him in the eye. And how dare he look me in the eye after fucking me over.

I love my father, no matter what, and that's why it hurts me so badly to see him change into a stranger, and wonder if there was anything more I could have done to change his mind before this transformation completed. Knowing that it's not my responsibility to argue with him to try and make him see reason when he's too far gone and all it does is make me feel like shit, and yet.

I'm sorry to everyone who may relate to this within their own families. It's probably going to get worse. These men will feel empowered to speak their minds and force you to hear it. They try to provoke you, just so they can say you're hysterical or overreact as women do, when you get reasonably upset. Know that you're not alone in this, Trump has truly torn families apart in ways that I don't think will ever heal.

[ladydeath-vanserra]

SJM + Eugenics + Ableism in her Writing

thinking about how insidious eugenics can come up in writing- specifically SJMs writing. Personally I take a lot with a grain of salt bec I don't think a lot of ppl realize how fucking deeply entrenched and rooted it is in everything and more often than not its not intentional

and to an extent I don't think it was intentional by SJM. she does have a degree of plausible deniability in her story telling

however that being said:

the Cauldron "pairing mates" has allusions to being a breeding program of some kind of supernatural predestined idiocy. Sam + Melissa on Tiktok have some pretty great videos on it

However, while they think that SJM is providing commentary on the matter, I do have a different view, not that I really disagree with what they're saying

SJM has a track record of using disabilities as an aesthetic for her characters. It's often a point of suffering and/or there ends up being a magical fix (yay fantasy eugenics providing miracle cures!!! /sarcasm)

Chaol, severely injured with a spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed goes to the super special healing place to have the world's bestest healers where the magical healing trope + black girl magic collide. He spends the whole book, a duration of only six months, regaining the ability to walk, with a cane most days. Chaol spends a large part of the book feeling sorry for himself and immasculting himself. Yerene, a professional trained healer who helps him with PT snaps at him in frustration to "just get up" when he's being difficult with her Note: some of these detailed may be incorrectly remembered + I never finished the book bec I can't stand him

Lucien: he gets his eye ripped out and is literally blinded but now he has a magical eye that is even better and can sense magic and spells and all that good shit

Rhys: chronic pain; never addressed

Azriel: scarred hands and wings, but so far we've seen no real struggle or accommodation of any kind or even a real discussion on how he had to learn how to fly at an older age due to his captivity and scarred wings

Cassian: his wings were beyond shredded but between books they got fixed up right as rain. it would have been fantastic rep for this decorated veteran and leader to be disabled, esp for a culture of warriors where flying is so crucial + where thr women are also forceably mutilated and can't fly either

speaking of the illyrian women

the Illyrian Women: not being able to fly and use their limbs is a disability. We have seen zero repercussions of Emeries father (and brother(?)) for disabling and mutilating his daughter

the mental health crisis of NESTA for ONE. in both the Fandom and in the series the grating toxic positivity and lack of patience and understanding and support and willingness to meet her halfway enraged me holy shit. The tone policing, the lack of autonomy, the unaddressed childhood trauma that has made Nesta the core of who she was. it was vile and disgusting

Aelin: quite frankly should have difficulty moving as fluidly as she does. she was whipped to ribbons and beaten bloody. Her back should be full of chronic pain and difficulty

Elide: as far as I'm aware Elide isn't too bad and she's incredibly intelligent and resourceful but it's been a hot minute since I've read the series. I do remember when they talked about it at the end about possibilities to heal her ankle (they couldn't)

I haven't read CC yet but I heard that LIMBS CAN GROW BACK???? sure let's just completely erase and magically fix imputations I guess?

I find it a lit harder to forgive "accidental eugenics" when her disabled characters disabilities are either made into Aesthetics, not properly addressed, or just healed all together

and when you pair magical eugenics + aesthetics:

You get Rhysand, the most powerful high lord of ever that you just have to keep being told is the most powerful high lord ever due to his parents being mates that his father whisked away from moments before she became mutilated like all the other Illyrian Women at 18 years old to a 900 year old man

you get his entire IC who is made of The Night Courts super special powerful clique who now happen to be the most powerful illyrian EVERRRR (Cassian + Azriel), Amren who was some trapped angel of death or something and Mor who is just so super powerful a mountain quaked or something when she was born

the entire IC is a concentrated powerhouse who also uses a specific mindset of "might is right"-

-and have forced others hands across the entire series or just outright lied and stole. also trespassing and routinely breaking laws but hey

Rowan, Aelin, Aedion, Dorian, Manon are all ToG Powerhouses. Rowan is described as the "most powerful full blooded fae male alive". there's an implication that human blood "weakens" fae traits and magical abilities [this is rather common in a lot of fantasy books]

every single character in this series is seen as some sort of extraordinary person with some sort of extraordinary power or ability aside from maybe a few. Hell Chaol, the only fully human character with no powers is the "Captian of the Guard" which he got bec he's a nepo baby from being Dorians friend. He gets disabled and they immediately go to get him fixed

tagging: @feynessupremacy @bookishfeylin @andramoreaux

I thought yall would appreciate

[lily-alphonse]

Hello! I was wondering, i remember someone making Haley/Penny, do they have any content?? i think they are cute together ngl

I've never read any Haley/Penny, but I'm going to drop this link to all the Haley/Penny fics I could find on AO3 and tell you what I would do with them!

At first I was thinking forced proximity via tutoring again but then I got SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

Cheesy makeover movie where Penny comes to Haley because she wants to be pretty.

Maybe she’s pining after Sam or Sam just dumped her or something and she’s throwing in the towel and saying fuck it, clearly I don’t know how to make guys fall in love with me so I’ll go to the expert.

Haley is thriving. She isn’t famous but has a good enough instagram and tiktok following to be getting the occasional sponsor, and she’s got men who send her money just for sending a flirty message or two every once in a while.

She doesn’t have any girl friends beyond networking because everyone is a schemer out for themselves. Too many times she’s had girls she thought were her friend, only for them to ghost her when they surpass her in followers. She is content with her sister and bff Alex by her side.

So she initially has her guard up with Penny. She’s suspicious and curt, until through her questioning Penny finally breaks down into tears about how she’s not pretty and she doesn’t understand boys.

Another thing you should know about Haley is that despite her experiences with catty women, she is, at her core, a girl’s girl. Just wounded. But to see Penny cry because of a BOY flips a switch in her. She brings her inside and immediately wants to know everything. Who did this? What did they say? Who is going around telling you you are anything but gorgeous?

She gives her a pep talk that is as much pep talk as it is a rant. Truth be told she has always admired Penny for being above things like gossip and boys. But a girl is a girl, they are more alike than they think.

There is a makeover scene, of course. It’s giving that one scene in the Scooby Doo live-action sequel where Daphne makes over Velma iykyk. Haley finds through their time spent together that she might actually like Penny as more than a friend. But Penny has never given any indication that she’d be into women so she keeps her feelings to herself and everything culminates in a dramatic climax at the flower dance.

They both look stunning. Haley can’t take her eyes off of Penny even as Sam takes her away to talk. Penny is giggling, twirling her hair, touching his shoulder just like Haley showed her. She’s proud but her heart is breaking. Sam won’t get her like she does.

Sam didn’t think she was pretty before, but Haley did. Haley loved the way she wore her hair in little buns, and loved the way her wool cardigans smelled like pencil shavings. Loved to hear her talk passionately about things she didn’t understand.

Penny barely notices Haley leave but once she registers it, she can’t focus on what Sam is saying. Something feels wrong. She excuses herself from Sam and finds Alex, who points her in the direction Haley stalked off to, into the woods.

In a scene that mirrors how their friendship began, it’s Haley crying this time. She’s crying over a broken heart, but it’s not from a boy.

Penny feels protective, wondering what’s happened.

“I’m alright really, just seeing you with Sam it…”

She can’t say it, but the realization dawns on Penny.

And another realization, that after getting everything she wanted from Sam, it was still nothing compared to the time she spent with Haley…

Teehee I ATE with this one don’t lie

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

EDIT: This fic is now live! Read it on AO3

[streets-in-paradise]

helloo!!

I'm gonna go on anon with this one cause it's my first time sending an ask n I'm lowkey shy lol

what do you think Achilles type would be(personality and looks-wise)?

Hi!

( Don't worry at all, i'm respectfull of your shyness)

This is an excellent question, I have so many thoughts!!!! ( And for so, this will be long so get ready. )

Let's get to the point: girls this gorgeous man would be into.

( First i'm doing a fem version of the answer because I think of this way too often and, since I am a woman, I tend to think about it from a fem perspective. Just my regular thoughts will take a lot of space lol, so let me know If you want a male version following this reply)

For a start, Achilles as a character is stucked in a paradoxical duality. I believe is the way in which the film makers tried to tell us from a de-mythification perspective that he is a demigod. Through human lenses in his characterization, we see him in two clearly opposite phases of himself that live in constant tension.

He is a soldier who despises the power of Kings, but also a militar leader followed by the myrmidons. For moments, a simple man, yet also a hero who ambitions inmortal fame and glory. There is a part of him that is very commoner, but another that feels royal. Half mortal and half divine, mundane and exceptional at once.

Taking this to romantical themes, i think Achilles can be into girls on a wide range within this dichotomy. The film confirms it, since Briseis is the synthesis of both opposite poles ( a slave girl and a princess, simultaneously the lowest and highest a woman can be.)

Social status wouldn't be a factor conditioning the attention of the myrmidon warlord: he is as likely to go for a slave girl as he is to fall for a free common girl or a princess.

In terms of personality, I think there are 3 core traits he would seek. Achilles likes brave, clever, caring girls. How this aspects would combine would depend of the unique personality of each girl, but it's most likely they would have any form of it going on. This means they don't necesarily all need to be unapologetically outspoken like Briseis. Let's say, for example, that a shy girl stands up against something unfair. He was not used to hear her voice, but now that he did he doesn't want to stop doing it. You don't have the courage to admit your crush on him, but you are calling out a soldier of Agamemnon for abusing of his authority? Achilles is thrilled, now he won't stop paying attention to you.

He loves being surprised, his expectatives challenged even despite you may not be openly challenging him. That's where the cleverness plays a role and, like explained before, he doesn't mind the source of it. Can it be streets wit, playfull trickery or calculative thinking obtained from transiting palace intrigue. Any show of cleverness put in service of courage from a kind heart would get him.

( Movie canon supports this in the moment Briseis schemes the assasination attempt for the sake of the people he may kill. Clever act requiring courage based on the doubts from her kind heart. We can expect different combinations of those 3 aspects would result in a similar effect)

On their approach to him, he also tends to prefer girls keeping a good balance between their appreciation of his core duality. He likes to have a girl admiring all the qualities that made him famous, but will find her way more attractive if she shows to have a mind of her own.

If she is only Interested in the handsome hero, and she has catched his eye, this may evolve into casual sex, but Achilles falls in love for the woman willing to call him out from his bullshit. It doesn't have to allways develop in a negative way, with this I mean someone willing to scratch the surface of the cocky champion seen in the first ten minutes of movie because they are invested in discovering the man underneath.

To put it in other terms, it's a bit like this quote from Axl Rose I kinda remember from an Interview he did at the peak of GNR. He said that most girls wanted to date Axl as his character on stage, not him. " They don't know me, they don't necesarily want to know me. ", and this is how I think Achilles often feels.

The moment one shows up in his life invested in the complexities of his real self, he won't let her go.

Now speaking of looks, i'm more inclined to abandon canon for a bit with the hiper narrow standards of 2000's Hollywood making the only 3 girls we see him with look practically all the same except for hair colour.

It's hard for me to imagine him having a type when it comes to physical appearance. A short girl looking helpless under him? Lovely, he loves it. An amazon shaped tall girl challenging him to fight? Better call it a first date, he would be flirting the whole time. A skinny girl wearing an oversized garment of his? Perfection. A plumpy belly dancer giving him more attention than expected during a feast? Man is entranced. ( Don't let Hollywood deceive you, he would love bigger girls too. Have you seen the greek statues of curvy Aphrodite with her thick thights and soft belly?)

About his favorite body parts of his woman I can be more precise.

Canonically, he is seen paying attention to hair and I agree. The romance scenes always show some level of worship to his partner's hair. He likes to caress it, smell it, and he does it with surprising tenderness. Getting into spicier territory, I headcanon he has a thing for hips.

( I seriously loved so much to answer this, please come back anytime for more headcanons. )

[ispeacetoomuchtoaskfor]

On the Subject of Susan

I'm going to be a little blunt and my words may seem antagonistic here. But no hate, please. I'm just trying to analyze and provide my analysis based on the very simple facts. Now.

I've never quite understood the anger at C. S. Lewis for how he ended Susan's tale. Mainly, I suppose, because I had the whole story.

Everyone gets angry that Susan is "banned from Narnia" because she likes lipstick and nylon stockings and being a teenage girl in the 1940s, but no one seems to understand that that's not quite how it went, much less that Susan still has a chance.

Let me work backwards a moment and explain the latter. You see, to quote Lewis himself, in a letter to a girl called Marcela in 1955,

"...Haven’t you noticed in the two you have read that she is rather fond of being too grownup? I am sorry to say that side of her got stronger and she forgot about Narnia... ...She is left alive in this world at the end, having been turned into a rather silly, conceited young woman. But there is plenty of time for her to mend, and perhaps she will get to Aslan’s country in the end—in her own way. I think that whatever she had seen in Narnia she could (if she was the sort that wanted to) persuade herself, as she grew up, that it was ‘all nonsense’”

Now, there's a lot to unpack here, but first and foremost, my point is quite simple. "Perhaps she will get to Aslan's country in the end-in her own way." It was always meant to be open ended, for Susan. Narnia is not forever closed to her, unless you and she choose so.

"But Peace!" I can hear you saying, "There's that whole 'too fond of being grownup' phrase!" Why yes, yes there is, how clever of you to notice. The whole point of the latter portion of Susan's arc is that she chose that- lipstick and nylons and "being grownup"- over Narnia. She grew and she chose to forget Narnia.

After all, what sort of modern teenage girl (in England, during WW2) would be so interested in medieval times and what they probably explained to their friends to be a good old game of pretend? No, no, she can't remember Narnia right now - she's going to the cinema with a few girl friends, she's going to a party, she's focusing on everything but there and inevitably, after pushing it away for so long, Narnia let her be.

You see, C. S. Lewis was a very Arminian (and yes, I spelled it correctly) Christian theologian. And while I'm sure most of you here on this hellsite would like to ignore that, it is relevant to how Lewis wrote his fiction. After all, it's at the core of his basic beliefs, despite his being a staunch atheist in college and into his adulthood, and despite what you may like to think, it crept into his writing even when he did not intend it. For example, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is called an allegory for the story of the Resurrection, despite Lewis' arguments to the contrary. He insisted that it be seen as what it is, very heavy symbolism. Very heavily used Christian symbolism, that is all over the Chronicles whether you like it or not.

Let me explain why this is relevant to Susan, what Arminianism even is, and how that term applies here. Susan is, so to speak, a symbol of an atheist left behind, after all of the Christians she called family died. In a situation where you regard Christianity as true, she is left on Earth while they have gone on to heaven. And this doesn't mean that the gates of heaven are closed to her, quite to the contrary! They would be closed on the day she died insisting that Jesus Christ was not Lord, plain and simple. She has a choice to make, so long as she is alive.

Now, to Calvinist theologians and Christians, Susan never had a choice. Either Aslan, the God symbol here, chose to bring her in, or he didn't. Calvinists believe in a thing called predestination, the concept that every believer that would ever be brought to heaven is chosen specifically by God. Arminianism declares the opposite. It's a whole thing in Christian theological circles, but that's irrelevant to this discussion. In any case, the core of Arminianism is that you and I have a choice in whether or not we believe in God, and in whether or not we go to heaven.

To an Arminian theologian, God, or Aslan in this symbolic case, can influence our choice, Susan's choice, up to a point. Once we reach that point, once Susan forgets, God, or Aslan, steps back. He accepts our choice, allows Susan to forget. It's up to us, up to Susan after that.

Lewis was an Arminian theologian. He made the point, repeatedly, in his theological works, about people having a choice.

He repeats that point with Susan.

One last thing, before you go. You see, there was another letter about Susan, after The Last Battle was released. He'd been asked if he ever intended to finish Susan's story.

This was his answer.

“I could not write that story myself. Not that I have no hope of Susan’s ever getting to Aslan’s country; but because I have a feeling that the story of her journey would be longer and more like a grown-up novel than I wanted to write. But I may be mistaken. Why not try it yourself?”

Well, my people? Now that you've heard what I had to say (and say through quite the essay, my apologies), why not? Go, do what you do and tell her story for yourself. The author has encouraged fanfiction, so go on! And don't worry about Christianity and symbolism too much. It may help you understand how and why Lewis wrote what he did, but unless you're determined to have your tale in his style and overlapping seamlessly with canon, it's unnecessary. Unless you choose to make it a part of your life, you don't have to be concerned about it.

Feel free to ask questions, and I'll answer to the best of my ability, with Google by my side!

Also, I nearly forgot. There are absolutely other problems with Susan being the last of her family, left alone in the aftermath of WW2. This is not the place to talk about those, however, merely to help you understand why she "is no longer a friend of Narnia" and to remind you that there's always hope.

Oh, and besides that, don't forget that I'm talking about the books and not the movies thank you very much, while The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was absolutely perfect to canon the other two were not and I'm not going to consider them in this post. I do appreciate them, but when dealing with book canon they're both nos.

[nrilliree]

TB, but I've been passively monitoring all the actors since the first season, just because I'm interested in how they see their characters. Now it's very funny for me to watch how everyone suddenly noticed what Tom says. Guys, he was like that from the very beginning. People probably didn't notice this, because he wasn't in the main cast and kept a low profile, but he confessed his love to Aegon from his first interview. All this "Don't judge my character because of what he did in the first season." I just remembered what I read, and here are a few his quotes about Aegon for the first season.

Aegon is a tortured soul, with many unlikable qualities – qualities I have learned to love about him. He is dealt a difficult hand and is ill equipped to deal with the pressures put to him. Some may see echoes of Joffrey Baratheon in him; I see him as a much more complex beast than this. He is desperate to be loved but destined to be hated. He seeks validation but is met by selfishness and neglect.(Schön! Magazine)

But at Aegon’s core he is a broken child, using booze and sex to numb his emotional pain. What Aegon wants more than anything is to be told by his dad ‘I have faith in your capabilities as a young man. I see you bringing prosperity to King’s Landing.’ But he hasn’t said any of those things. His dad has completely ignored him, in fact, throughout his entire youth. (Esquire)

I also see Aegon as being incredibly complex. He's not an out-and-out psychopath. I see a multilayered character that just has endless potential of pits of vulnerability and empathy and things that we don't see. I think it's his vulnerability that breeds the darkness. It's the way he copes, it's his security, it's his safety blanket, it's an addictive coping mechanism for him to shut things out and to be cold. (Entertainment)

These are literally the words of any fan girl who writes posts in defense of Aegon on Tumblr. Actually, that's where they get these thoughts from.

Honestly? I never paid attention to it because people hadn't written about it that much before. In the case of actors' statements, I rely on what I see on Tumblr and what people send me, so I noticed that recently there has been much, much more talk about Tom's controversial statements. That's why I assumed he only started feeling this open recently, but he clearly sounded like one of TG's horniest defenders from the start, lol

[yuseirra]

It's been so long since I read the series... but I suddenly remembered about "Abide in the Wind" so I read the last few chapters and I'm getting enormous flashbacks, that was such a memorable piece and it still looks as beautiful as I remember-

spoilers for the ENTIRE PIECE AND PLOTLINE: So, a godly figure(dragon) falls in love with a human being. But she's so selfless and always gives up on her being and dies in every timeline. He couldn't bear to accept that, so he tries to bring forth a reality where she lives to be the truth but that is never possible, and he grows flawed and insane in the process. He starts to bring misery through collecting souls to replenish his energy to reattempt on rewriting the timelines, and the world starts getting destroyed. The entire world wants him gone, the flawed god and disaster that he's become.

The girl he loved and wished to bring back comes to recognize this in one timeline she's come across, and she's chosen as the successor, to become the next dragon(godly being) that should kill and replace him. But then she decides that she... despite her very selfless nature, started to have a single want. She wants him too.

So she decides to give up her past, present and future as a god to bring him back, and the laws of that world gets rewritten, she saves him and they get to be together with everything that's happened... becoming a past that lasts only as an alternate reality. Everyone lives happily in a rewritten world she brought, she forgets that she was once a god but he remembers

I... haha.. I'm getting really REALLY similar vibes with them in regard to hikaai rn I am not sure if this is a good comparison but,

That godly being started out very empty and prone to change. He was so pure and innocent, unknowing of everything, and that girl he fell in love with became the single thing he wanted. He was like a blank piece of paper. He actually ruined her life unintentionally by entering it, because her life was so peaceful before he came along and everything started spiraling into madness after he did... but she never really blamed him for it.

Anyhow, that girl doesn't respect her own life while she immensely cares for other beings. She kept dying because she disregarded herself. He realized it'd happen in every timeline, so in desperation and despair, he started trying to change fate- in which ultimately resulted in destroying himself to the core. As far as becoming a natural disaster.

What he goes through really feels similar to what Hikaru's going through after Ai's death, the difference is that... Abide in the Wind is pure fantasy. The dragon, he actively tries to collect souls to use as a source of power to reverse his beloved death and hundreds of thousands fall into misery in the process, the whole world starts collapsing into havoc.. well, what Hikaru may be kind of similar in essence you know. He started out to be this really, sweet and kindred soul but he utterly starts breaking down into insanity after the only person he loved winds up dead (and he believes that's his fault too;). He can't bear the fact that she doesn't exist anymore, so he starts coming up with some sort of reasoning to bring her closer to him (I am not sure if he thought that up on his own because it's so bizarre) and if what the songs are implying are accurate of what he's been doing, he's actually BEEN collecting some sort of "light"; I think that may have to do with people with the star eyes. So.. yeah. He could've been making some sort of sacrifices out of desperation too(goodness...) If he were to be a god.. -_- I wonder if he could have done the same thing to bring Ai back?; I wonder... he used to be so soft though!!!!! I wouldn't have cared about him this much if he wasn't like that, he's just.. broken apart...;

well, the dragon got saved. His beloved came to save him and give him back his life.

Idk about Kamiki. But I see how these sorts of stories.. never fail to get me intrigued.

wanting to reverse fate/being unable to accept loss and wishing the dead back, that's a theme that's explored a lot in fiction. It can't happen in real life, but like what they say in the piece itself as it begins, onk IS fiction.

What I can sense is that the character is suffering so bad and he's been so alone!!;; The songs and the plotline keep screaming that to me so it really bothers me, it just keeps grabbing my attention because this was a character that didn't deserve what's happened to him. Maybe he does now, but it's just horrible to be a witness of the types of emotional pains he's been going through, with it never being properly tended to even once. I don't even know if we're supposed to/ allowed to pity him because everything is still vague, so is he responsible for harming Ai or not, I am 99.9% positive he ISN'T, but the manga still just doesn't tell us that in a solid sense and leaves us hanging right, so it's so frustrating to wait. I'm sure they want to do something about this character and that's why it's been saved till last, but they better make it good and satisfying enough. I'm not asking for so much, I'm not even sure if he can be "saved" in a proper sense because he already lost the one single thing he loved more than his life. I just; want him to be addressed and explained properly, this guy has himself a story, but he never gets to tell his own tale. Because Aqua hates him and decides he must die. Everyone besides Ai doesn't want him. Not a single soul helped him when he needed it as a child except Ai, that's so unfair because he was a good one. It's just.. not a happy thing to watch. He can rot in hell if he deserves it??? But I want to know what happened!! They'll show it to us. It's just that I'm not in the future yet so I can't make anything out of it in the present. I actually have an idea where this will eventually head, I just don't have the patience because I feel things. They talk about pain and when that happens, you can't help but being stressed, right!

The final chapters of Abide in the Wind was beautiful, it's very colorful and memorable, and the writing for it was exemplar and poetic!! I definitely can say that's one of the pieces that influenced me as an artist... If you like stories where characters who share a bond eventually end up saving each other's fate, it may be worth a read! Reana is still one of my fav female protagonists, she's...so selfless. And that ties very strongly with how things play out in the story, it's why she was chosen in more ways than one.

[comshipbracket]

Antis DNI - Block the tag "comship" if this causes discomfort.

Remember, you are voting for the ship you prefer, not the ship you find more problematic

Propaganda for both ships under the cut.

Disclaimer: All ships (other than NozoCoco) on this bracket are FOLLOWER-SUBMITTED ships, the Mods do not always hold necessary knowledge to be aware of any errors or fanonizing what should be canon material that may arise.

Stuilly Propaganda (Abusive Dynamic)

"Billy is bent on murderous revenge, and Stu is the fucked up little person who's along for the ride. Their killing spree climaxed with symbolic mutual penetration as they stab each other as part of their scheme to pin it all on the film's final girl. The way they touch each other is affectionate to the point of intimacy. When their plan is out, Stu can't keep his hands off of Billy."

Stannarrator Propaganda (Codependency, Toxic Power Dynamics - In most endings)

"The Stanley Parable is a game about The Narrator wanting to tell a story through their game but having to rely on the Stanley's choices. The core of the game is that Stanley and The Narrator are bound to each other: Stanley needs The Narrator to make the "parable" he lives in, and The Narrator needs Stanley to make the choices that drive the story.

The Narrator clearly has the most power in this dynamic, since he can alter the world the Stanley lives in: modifying the rooms, creating and deleting objects at will, reloading the game, altering Stanley's perception, knowing almost everything and being almost everywhere. But, despite all that power, he isn't able to control the one thing that keeps his story existing: Stanley's choices.

Okay, spoilers to both the original 2013 game and the Ultra Deluxe remake from here on out since it's impossible to talk about them without spoiling a lot of the endings.

In one of the new endings on the Ultra Deluxe remake, the Skip Button ending, The Narrator creates a button that lets Stanley skip his dialogue `inspired` by a bad Steam review, but when Stanley clicks this button The Narrator is left all alone in that room, and which each click the skip becomes longer, from minutes, to hours, to weeks, to months… And in the fifth skip (where Stanley stays frozen for like, one, two weeks), The Narrator breaks up, talking about how he needs Stanley to listen to him and how scared he is of slipping back into the silence he passes through every time we use the skip button. In his own words, `I can't lose myself in the stretch of emptiness between you and me.` Of course, since it's the only way to advance in this ending, we skip again, and again, until The Narrator ends up eventually disappearing after the 12th or 13th skip, leaving Stanley alone in a desert, and that's where the ending stops, though it continues on the Epilogue, but I'll leave some things to add as propaganda during the polls.

Despite this, The Narrator still has more control of the situation than Stanley, like on the Explosion ending, where he traps Stanley in a room while the building's destroys itself as consequence for choosing to activate the Mind Control Machine instead of shutting it down to free everyone. He keeps acting like Stanley is nothing but a vehicle for him to pass a message through his story. `Watching you try to make sense of everything and take back the control wrested away from you…it's quite rich. I almost hate to see it go!` `You're only still playing instead of watching a cutscene because I want to watch you for every moment that you're powerless, to see you made humble. […] You wanted to control this world; that's fine. But I'm going to destroy it first, so you can't.`

But there's one point where they're equal, they both want to free themselves. On the Museum ending, we meet a being that is higher than The Narrator, the Female Narrator (yeah, that's her name), and she gives the best description of the relationship between these two: `Oh, look at these two. How they wish to destroy one another. How they wish to control one another. How they both wish to be free. Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another? No, perhaps not. Sometimes these things cannot be seen.`"

[shoujomangathoughts]

Shoujo Thoughts - Hana Kimi

So for my first post outside of Chihayafuru, I thought I'd talk about Hana Kimi (aka Hanazakari no Kimitachi e), which I believe is considered a classic shoujo (quickly looking at the sales I'd assume it was). Even though there's several live action adaptations (as a fan of SHINee and f(x) it surprised me that the drama Minho and Sulli were in was based on this manga), my experience is solely the manga. I finished reading this a couple months ago so if I remember something wrong, I apologize in advance. I won't really talk about any spoilers until the character section.

For these posts, I'll just go over some impressions I had (very casually "review") and talk about my favorite arc and/or character.

Hana Kimi's premise is pretty interesting; Ashiya transfers to an all-boys school in Japan because she looks up to Sano and his ability in the high jump. So we've got this setup of a girl infiltrating an all boys school and the manga essentially focuses on the shenanigans that come about because of that, as well as some more coming of age and some familial themes. I specifically thought Sano's issues with his family were handled pretty well and tied into his character and the overall narrative in a satisfying way (I also liked his brother's character). This series doesn't go super deep into more serious topics or handle them with the most nuance, but that's probably because at its core, this series is more lighthearted. It has a lot of scenarios typical of a high school series (sports events, school dances, etc.).

Of course, there's also romance. The romance in this series, or at least the acknowledgement of it, moves very slow. There are moments where it's very clear something is going on, but it's played off as characters being dense/misunderstanding/etc. It's a series that's tagged with "love polygon", but there's never any doubt about who the romantic conclusion lies with, so if that sways you one way or another, there's that. The romantic plots are pretty typical of the high school series you may have read or watched before but the cast is still enjoyable enough to continue (for me at least).

Overall, I actually really enjoyed this series. The cast has a large amount of different personalities and they lend themselves to a variety of situations. Some of my favorites were Dr. Umeda, Kayashima and Nanba. I've seen the art of this series be described as dated but I really like it for the most part (I enjoy a lot of the art from series from this time). It's a solid slice of life rom-com series even if some of the little arcs felt unnecessary (the arc with the boy from America and the ghost/spirit boy are scenarios that come to mind) and the ending felt a bit abrupt. I suppose some of the comedy might have aged, but I don't remember anything glaring (Akiha was a bit weird when it came to Umeda though if I recall). I haven't read a lot of slice of life series like this, let alone many from this far back, so I'm not sure how it stacks up to other series but I'd still recommend giving it a look.

Favorite character : Nakatsu

I don't think I really have second lead syndrome, but sometimes I find the character that won't "win" ship-wise to be more interesting. Nakatsu here is the one in the group with a sunny disposition and generally is upbeat. He has an interesting personal arc where he mulls over the fact that he's into Ashiya (despite believing her to be a guy) and he eventually decides that he'd rather accept his feelings than worry about sexuality. The manga has a weird way of "justifying" this (I believe that Umeda said something about Nakatsu being able to tell she wasn't a guy because of pheromones or something), but I liked the conclusion that he came to and how he freely expressed his interest in her. The arcs centered around Nakatsu were also entertaining to me because they focused on more serious situations that forced his upbeat personality to be broken down a bit. This was also interesting, as the group could typically tell when something was wrong with him because he was a pillar of the group's energy. I also appreciated his conversations with Sano and Ashiya about his feelings, the fact that Ashiya actually gave him a rejection instead of brushing him off, and just the general friendship dynamic. However it was really clear that Ashiya wasn't into him romantically (she's only at this school because of Sano and the way she gets involved with him is sometimes borderline obsessive, but hey, it's fiction). He was a character that suited both lighthearted and more serious situations in the series well which probably contributed to why he stuck out to me. I did feel for him when he was hurting about his one sided love but I also knew he lowkey never had a chance.

Well, if you read all this, thanks! I haven't done any posts about other series until now and this is a lot more casual since I'm not analyzing anything, but I've got a couple other series that I read somewhat recently or am currently reading that I'd like to do this with. Give Hana Kimi a shot if you haven't read or heard of it before!

[idolsgf]

🌟OC Tag Game🌟

thank you to @greypetrel for tagging me to do this!! had to give it some thought but we got there in the end (albeit not entirely coherant). it's mostly dragon age, but I wanted to sprinkle in some other oc's in there too :3

tags will be under the cut at the bottom

Favourite OC: I talk about Mori'na the most and that's because she's probably my top girl right now. She is always invading my thoughts, consumes them you might say. She was one I made when I played Dragon Age after a long time of not playing, and she's constantly evolving. I just think she's neat.

Newest OC: Cyra's probably the newest newest, and I haven't completely figured her out yet. Have to get one good pt with her and then continue to build off from there. She's definitely different from a lot of the other OC's I make and I think that's exciting. Get some variety, ya know?

Oldest OC: Uhhhh I don't think you want to know my oldest OC. I'm not about to share my preteen writing or characters haha I guess the oldest OC I have that isn't dragon age related is from an original work that I want to go back to one day. His name was Adam (I'm probably going to change it) and I was really excited to tell not just his story but the overall story. He was from a Nano year! I was very close to making it to 50k but petered out near the end because I couldn't figure out certain chapters for the life of me. One of these days I'll pick him back up. He was very sweet, loved photography, and the classic trope of having a dead parent :)

If you want Dragon Age, my very first character was an Aeducan! I can't remember her name for the life of me (I made her when I was like 13 so forgive my foggy memory) but I remember her mabari's name was Dum (pronounced doom bc I thought it sounded cute). She romanced Alistair (what's new?) and was pretty nice just because I hated playing mean characters back then. I still do sometimes haha I'm thinking of bringing her back but she's going to make very different choices than my original pt. I want her to be the warden in my Cyra worldstate.

Meanest OC: Could swing either way depending on the sort of mean you want to refer to. Ashari is mean in a very blunt way, doesn't have much room for small talk and will insult you to your face. But she's also fiercly protective of the ones she loves and is where you'll see the most venom if you plan on hurting them. She's very much like this video around her friends and family depending, and some people can translate it to being mean.

If you want calculative, cut you right at the core mean, Cyra. She may come off as kind with the whole Andraste visage, but she knows right where to strike. She will find your deepest weakness and exploit it like no other. She's a very ruthless judge, but thinks she's doing it in the name of justice. I think I have a pin on her pinterest board that says "Divine Violence" and pretty much sums up how she rules. She knows how to play the game. (she's not all mean though, don't worry 😅)

Softest OC: For the most part I want to say Mori'na, she's a soft person in some regards, has soft qualities, but I also don't want people to think that's all she is. She's a complex elf that has a lot going on, but she's definitely a flower crown wearer.

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC: As referenced above, Ashari's deifnitely one standoffish OC but I don't think the most. Blunt, doesn't like small talk, but she's also rather emotional (my very angry daughter) so she's not entirely aloof.

Bohean is pretty aloof, he's definitely got a cold demeanor and doesn't let his emotions show (only Mori'na can read him really). He's very duty driven and finds that letting emotions get in the way isn't ideal (conceal don't feel.....I don't like that movie). Being a mage and the First definitely plays into it.

Dumbest (affectionate) OC: They are all dumb, in their own ways. Everyone makes dumb choices. It's only natural. I guess in kind of original original character, I had an OC named Hattie Dunn (she was from a tlou rp LOL but I devved her outside of it for a bit as well). Everytime I think about her I'm just like, girl. Make better choices. What are you doing? Stop brooding, go talk to Car. Stop it *spritz w/ water*

Dragon Age wise they're all dumb, there's no helping it. They all make some dumb decisions along the way, they gotta for me to make an interesting story lol I guess Faye can be slotted in the dumb category just for pining reasons. Not the best at reading people or the room sometimes. They don't care in the beginning since they're only trying to make coin for the most part. Feelings are where the real dumb comes out. Will wax poetic about a person in their necromicon and write songs about them in their free time, but actually telling the person? Flirting maybe, but a flustered mess when it gets serious.

Smartest OC: Mori'na is very smart, practicaly and being able to read people (for the most part, emotions can get in the way sometimes, don't question it). Knows every known plant under the sun and can relay facts about it in five seconds. Can immedietly know if one is poisonus or not. Has a good memory, never forgets. Which is never good for someone she holds a grudge against you fucked up wolfie. I think she's able to read people better just because she has a healthy mother relationship lol

OC I'd Probably Be Friends With: I can see myself being friends with the main Dragon Age three. Cyra's too much of a wine mom. Mori'na I would enjoy listening to about plants and we could have a nice chat, but also not have to talk at all. Could sit in silence and do our own things but enjoy one another's company. Faye is very extroverted, and I'd probably just let them do their own thing while I observe. Great movie buddy tbh, lot of joking during movie nights. Ashari I would hype up, talk about murdering her capitalist pig boss and I'd just say "yes girl, you tear that man apart". I think she could be good to joke around with, because she does have a bit of a sarcastic side but she says it with the exact same blunt articulation that you can never tell if she's being serious or not.

tagging: @gvnseylike @fenharel-apologist94 @transprincecaspian @demandthedoodles @ell-vellan and anyone else who would like to do this <3

[the-shiny-eeveelution]

Creature of Soul Matter: The Emotion in Heart

Chapter 7: New Hope

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Creature of Soul Matter: The Emotion in Heart AO3

I watch as Hyness goes through shelf after shelf, taking out all the books and floating them past his head. I let my gaze drift away as Kirby starts clamoring up my head.

He slowly makes his way up, pulling and grunting. He makes his way to the top of my head them slides down my snout and looks me in the eye.

"You're fur's soft..." He dreamly tells me.

"You worked your way all the way to here… to tell me that I'm soft?" I ask, letting a light chuckle out.

"Yeaaaahhh…" he absent mindedly confirms, petting me.

He climbs back to the top of my head and lays down, slowly falling back to sleep.

Once he fully drifts off, I pluck him off and put him back on my collar fur so I can look back down to the group.

Dedede and Meta Knight are quietly chatting with each other, and I hear something about Waddle Dees.

The warm light above makes everything feel cozy I suppose, as Bandee has also passed out.

Elfilin's flying around the room, admiring the crystalline patterns.

I finally look at the three girls. They're whispering amongst themselves, isolated from everyone.

Suddenly the red one speaks up a bit, seemingly a bit excited. "Do you realize what this means!?" She quietly yells. Noticing she raised her voice they all stop and look around the room, likely checking to see if they have garnered unwanted attention. Zan spots me looking at them. She sighs and taps the other two on the shoulders, waving them to follow her.

"I do suppose I must introduce my fellow Sisters." Zan says. "This one is Flamberge." She gestures to the red one.

"You can call me Flam." Flamberge adds.

"Yes…" Zan moves onto the blue one, "and this one is Francisca."

"But you can can her Fran." Flam says, leaning against Francisca's shoulder.

Zan nods, looking at them, then turns back to me, "If I may ask, Elfilis, what were your fellow heroes like?"

"Heroes?" I ask as I pick Kirby off of me and put him next to the sleeping Bandee. "Where did this title come from? We were public enemies last I remember."

Zan puts her hand below her face, "I suppose some undesirable circumstances befell you…"

Flam lightly, and seemingly playfully, smacks her on the back of the head, "Oh come on! Quite the fancy talk, let's just speak like normal people."

"Okay, fine." Zan begrudgingly says, glaring at Flam while fixing her hat. "As I was saying, what were your friends like?" She asks again.

I let my mind try to drift towards the memories of my friends. "Well… there was Galacta, Plaige and Gartihall." I relish in the foggy memories, "I may as well talk about Galacta… he was the smallest amongst us, but was the best fighter despite that. But he also cared, he cared a lot, he didn't want us to do anything that would get ourselves hurt and always went on emotional tangent when we did. He sometimes would try to take revenge for us if someone else were to hurt one of us, despite being quite empathetic… He also would know how to help us out of any hole we managed to crawl our way into, often lifting the spirit of a room with a light hearted joke just at the right time."

"So he was always there for you?" Zan quietly relays to herself.

"Yeah… if he were in the position I'm in now, nothing would be able to stop him. He would likely be willing to tear planets to their core and sacrifice his own health to get us all back as swiftly as possible… it would probably feel like a storm for him." I sigh, "I'm glad it's not him in this position right now, I'd rather him not hurting himself... And I'm one to speak; I practically killed myself to try to save them all and failed miserably… I miss them all, they ment the worlds to me."

Zan, Fran and Flam are all looking up at me with saddened eyes.

Fran comes up and pats me on the finger. "I'm eternally sorry for your losses, I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose these two." She turns to look back to them, then goes back to them. "We may not know you all too well, but we can still try to help in even the smallest ways."

The instant after she finishes her sentence Hyness calls to everyone again.

Zan looks back to me, "I'm sorry that we cannot continue this conversation. My deepest condolences and wishes of luck go to you and your quest." The other two turn back to me and they all lightly bow and rejoin behind Hyness, who has placed ten books on a table.

Meta Knight has already gathered on the other side with Elfilin, while Dedede is busy waking up Bandee and Kirby.

I pick myself up and take one step towards the table and rest back down.

Dedede comes over to join us with a half awake puffball in either arm.

Hyness takes the top book and places it down. He then addresses down to it, "This is the one with the most direct talk of Galacta Knight, it contains depictions of him when a group attempted to summon him, and the methods they used."

The book then flips to somewhere in the center of the pages. Pictures of Galacta Knight in and out of his crystal are shown with words that I'm unfamiliar with and what looks like warnings all around it. Though the images don't look quite accurate.

"This work is likely the only writing of its kind, and these illustrations are possibly the most accurate one will find throughout the universe, but they are definitive proof of his existence." Hyness explains.

"I'm going to assume they drew these after encountering him, as they still feel a bit off…"

"Quite likely, as it is written that they were attacked by him after re-establishing his place; they were only able to defeat him with overwhelming numbers, but some were lost to the cold reaches of space with this encounter. It is also depicted that after triumphing over him, he rose back up and was resealed, vanishing there by after."

"But, why and how did they summon him?" I question.

I call down to Elfilin, |"Hey, are you able to read these for me?"|

|"No, I'm sorry, I don't know how to read either."|

I guess despite basically the entire universe being able to understand each other, there's text barriers…

"Why, is never quite fully explained within this." Hyness explains, "But it is stated that they utilized the wish capabilities of one of the many great technologies."

"Oh hey yeah those might work!" Kirby cheers, jumping forward a bit.

Dedede grabs onto and pulls Kirby back into his seat. "Yeah, maybe not… Nothing good has come out of them in the past."

Hyness takes five more books out of the pile and has them fly back to their shelves, keeping the one with the drawings on the table.

He takes off the next one and the bottom one, "Raw magic and vortices?"

"Already tried." Meta Knight tells him.

The two books fly out of this hands and to their spots as well, "Understood."

He grabs one and flips through it.

"I see, this one only depicts his power and destructive capabilities."

Flam perks up and comes up behind him. "Yes, yes." He unenthusiasticly says as he hands it to her.

She maniacally chuckles as she brings it back to her spot.

Ha grabs the last book, the smallest one, "I had my fears that we would be forced into this scenario." He flips to the front page and sets it down. "For alas, this is the most vague method described and it seems to have been a failure."

Dedede's eyes dart as he seems to skim through the book, "He's in a pocket dimension?"

Hyness nods, "Precisely, the group is described to have located a particular rift in which they could travel through and attempt to find Galacta Knight. Their ultimate goal is unclear, but the innards of the dimension are exceptionally dangerous, whittling down their numbers to a mere five before fully retreating."

"Well then how do we know that he's in there?" Meta Knight demands.

"It is told that some caught a glimpse of the illusive knight."

"So what makes the place so bad?" Kirby concerns.

Hyness flips to the last pages, "Here, 'loosed magic everywhere with technologies threatening our existence. Creatures only nightmares or dreams could manifest, posing endangerment to our lives and our will to live. Showing of fear would suffocate you; anger would singe your cloth and you, possibly igniting you; pride would burst you. Emotions didn't show in the space around you, the space around were your emotions, and you were punished for having them.'"

Dedede shutters, Meta Knight looks unfazed, Bandee hides behind Kirby, Kirby looks concerned and Elfilin seems deep in thought.

Dedede suddenly starts buzzing. "Oh, I gotta take this. One moment please." He walks out to the halls.

Meta Knight speaks up. "So this is our last option?"

"Unfortunately, yes. You have eliminated all other methods I have found."

"Then I suppose we're all going on another thrilling adventure." Meta grudgingly responds.

"Not all of us." Dedede determines, walking back in. "Some stuff is going on down at Popstar and everybody seems to be having a panic attack."

"Hmm, this certainly expedites things." Meta Knight mutters.

"Ex-pe-dites?" Kirby softly repeats to himself.

"We'll have to go our separate ways." Meta Knight announces. "I will be going with King Dedede back to planet popstar, if you three want to come with us or Elfilis, whom I assume is going to the rift, is up to you."

"I should probably go and check up on everybody." Bandee decides, joining Dedede and Meta Knight.

Kirby looks conflicted, "Somebody has to go with Elfilis." He finally determines.

I look down on Elfilin, he appears even more conflicted then what Kirby was, worry showing on his face.

After a moment Meta Knight speaks up, "If you can't decide, I'll help. You can come with us, we could use your help to get to Popstar quickly and then find anyone missing."

Elfilin looks up at me, I jerk my head to gesture down to the Popstar group.

He looks away again before finally nodding, determination overtaking.

"You guys can take the Warpstar." Kirby tells them. "I probably don't need it."

The group parts their way and exit the room.

I grab Kirby and put him in my head, I prepare to open a portal out of the ship but Hyness stops us.

"Before you two go, I should mention how to find this rift."

I freeze, "Oh, yeah, huh, that'd be nice info."

"Take this compass." He offers, showing a clear ball with a magenta needle in it to us.

I grab Kirby and let him take it.

"If it is stated correctly, one of the members tied this artifact to the rifts location. Though I have never followed It myself." He explains.

I nod, putting Kirby back. Turning around, I open a vortex just outside the ship.

"Good luck." Fran calls below us.

"You'll need it." Zan finishes.

Finally, I step through.

On the outside of the ship, Kirby takes a look at the ball compass, "Uhhhh… that way!" He says, slipping into my snout and pointing behind us.

I fly above the ship to look where he pointed. "Got it."

Kirby climbs back onto my head and I dive into more unfamiliar space.

[7-oh-ta1]

So mad because I was talking about wicked with a friend, so I mentioned I saw the play in high school with a leadership group thing and in my pictures one of the ppl in the group was a kind of situationship/flirtationship I had like as a teen 😭 It was the kind of thing where he asked me to "date" in sixth grade and I was like NO!!!!! And when we became teens there was this awkward kinda friendship -- unfortunately where I grew up was very christian, and so extremely christian parents wouldn't allow boys and girls to be friends so it was kind of like, we'd banter at our lockers because they were beside each other or in class and stuff but, never outside of school or anything because his parents were very religious. We would literally sit at the ends of the lunchtables (separated by boy and girl) so we could sometimes chat but yk.

ANYWAY.

He had a crush on me thru high school but I didn't care because I didn't understand crushes on real people anyway until I was like 20 SO I DIDN'T REALLY GET. THAT HE WANTED TO DATE STILL. and anyway I remember the biggest part of our "friendship" we were both bookworms and competed over it. Like I said before my rural town was ass backwards, the boys and girls were separated and then ranked in gender when it came to literature, math, and science grades. I was always number one in girl's literature, and he was number one in boy's literature. My score was higher than his, but we couldn't technically compete because it was separated by gender so, we both would get the same reward for it and he was also a bit peeved I would win our unofficial competition. Even when we went into high school and that was behind us there was always an awkward friendship between us (bless him he wasn't socially inclined and I'm autistic) but it kind of evolved into us being debaters back and forth, which looked like kinda arguments to other people but were just conversations to us.

I remember when we went to wicked, he was staring at me and I was staring so intensely at the play because I was like WILLING HIM TO LOOK AWAY FJFJGJ it's not that I didn't like him as a person, but I definitely was not interested in romance in high school, which makes sense since I discovered my aspec identity later.

All that to say, I remember really wishing there wasn't the gender barrier and that the two of us could really be friends instead of the awkward kinda of friendship that in a way, FORCED there to be a weird romantic undertone to two people just bantering and having fun because he was a boy and I was a girl, so why else would you be getting along??? People act like that kind of thing only happened "back in the day" like the 50s, but I grew up in the 2000s 😭

All I wanted to say was, I may have never said yes the few times he asked, but I see an absolute trend of the guys I'm friends with now being like a tiny reminder of that friendship, the contrarian takes just to piss each other off, etc. Like ten years ago bro didn't even know he's the catalyst of my future friendships. Life is weird.

There's also my very best guy friend growing up (his family was NOT religious) who was this short skinny grungy kid who accidentally cut off half his pinky and liked showing it off. We would hide in the girl's bathroom (more stalls to hide in) and listen to linkin park while drawing on tattoos with sharpies <3 We were just poor kids, and he went down a path of drugs and alcohol trying to impress other people, like one of my core memories is coming to his house after he went to a party and rolling him on his side so bro wouldn't literally die 😭 i made him gargle salt water after because I was so mad at him!!! I never judged him, but I WOULD tell him it hurts my feelings when he risks his literal life like that because that's the only way he would understand, I cared about him and he could make any decision he wanted as long as he could survive it, please 😭😭 He always said I was his best friend, because I wasn't fake, he could have genuine conversations with me, like I would actually engage with deep topics (bro that was my favorite pass time??) and I always felt guilty because I had really bad imposter syndrome I was like I'M NOT THAT DEEP I'M FAKE TOO 😭 and he would be like BITCH WHERE. We went to our first prom together and because I don't like dancing I played on his phone when mine died, scrolling thru ifunny and eating the entire buffet, which I was happy to do, but he would go dance, then come sit with me for 20 minutes or so looking at memes and laughing before I would force him to get back out there. I love him, and I'm so glad I had his friendship in that place, because so many things and people were telling us we couldn't be friends, he probably had a crush on me, etc etc, but we didn't let it change our friendship, we knew how each other felt and laughed off those people, unlike with the other guy. And that's why we were so important to each other. We travel different roads now, but I genuinely believe if I needed him he would figure out a way to help me no matter what and I would do whatever is in my meager power for him. I really do miss him, or just that I look back fondly, and I see him in the people closest to me to this day 🥺 the blueprint that showed me friendship is not just between girls.

Idk what I'm trying to say. I love friendship. The same way teenage romance shapes your future, so too does teenage friendship and not just as lifelong friendships, but the people you will become compatible with in the future. Even friendships like the first one where it was kind of touch and go, or the second one that was soul deep, each one still affects my platonic relationships to this day. Without them, I couldn't form the friendships I have now... so I'm grateful.