#HE RECOMMENDED ME SOME BREATHING EXERCISES | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wisteria-blooms · 9 months ago

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P A R A D I S E // P O T I O N S!

PAIRING: Bill Weasley & You WARNINGS: smut!! so much smut!!, oral (giving, receiving), piv, sex pollen trope, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, creampies, all the makings of a bad porn plot **MINORS DNI** SUMMARY: As per Percy’s recommendation to his mother, you’re tasked to house-sit the Burrow while the family is away for the Quidditch World Cup. You’re Percy's closest friend and much like him, you are more than wary of his mischievous twin brothers, Fred and George. But what if their machinations lead you to something you’ve always dreamt of coming true? (8.0k words)

A/N: Been going through a bit of writer’s block recently, so hopefully a load of debauchery (as big as Bill's) breaks down that wall. I’ve been mad at how my sentences are coming out—they sound so redundant and boring. Also, I’m not great at editing my smut scenes because I get embarrassed reading them, so enjoy at your own risk. ;)

PARADISE POTIONS!

There was an undeniable feeling of late summer that nestled in the morning air, a pleasant marriage of warmth and wind. As you trekked up a tall, grassy hill, you breathed it all in. You were in disbelief that August had snuck up on you so suddenly. That meant only two weeks left of freedom before you were confined to a cubicle in the Ministry of Magic, wasting your life away.

‘It won’t be so bad’, you reminded yourself. After all, Percy Weasley would be there alongside you in the same department. He was your most supportive and reliable friend, contrary to popular opinion. And it’d been him that pitched the idea that you house sit the Burrow while he and his family were away at the Quidditch World Cup. Apparently, he’d told Molly that you were mature, responsible, and ‘very much like him.’ You had to tease him about the compliment he threw in about himself.

Molly would provide you room and board for the next week. Your tasks mainly included upkeep of the garden, feeding the animals, and ensuring the home didn’t seem completely empty as the whole family vacationed. Molly simply hated to keep an empty house.

“Good morning, Perce!” you greeted with a wave when you reached the tip of the hill.

He waved back from the main entrance. Then, he motioned for your luggage.

“How was your journey?”

“Uneventful,” you affirmed. “Though the walk up was great exercise. I feel very much awake now.”

“It’s quite the trek,” he agreed.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the orientation at the Ministry we had last week,” you gushed. “I’m so excited to start work.”

“Me too,” Percy agreed with a nod.

“Mum would like to have you in for a spot of breakfast,” Percy said.

“I’d be delighted.” You heard excellent things about Molly Weasley’s breakfasts.

Percy held the door open for you. The windchimes sounded from above you, signaling your entrance. You brushed past a fluttery overhead curtain. When the material unveiled itself, you came face to face with a long dining table. There were only six occupants: Ginny, Ron, the infamous Harry Potter, Hermione, Charlie, and Bill. You gave a small wave to the younger kids. They nodded wordlessly. You reckoned that in their eyes, any friend of Percy’s must be some masochist deviant.

To the side, Arthur was chatting with who you supposed was Amos Diggory, combing through their plans.

“Good morning, (Y/N) dear,” Molly greeted. You were glad she thought of you just as prim and proper and organized as her third-eldest son.

You took a seat with Percy. He sat where his newspaper and coffee mug laid, right in front of Charlie. With a nervous smile, you sat to his right and…

Your eyes immediately landed on Bill. He was Percy’s eldest brother, and by far the most handsome. You were embarrassed to admit that you’d always fancied him. Not in the soul-crushing-adult-love kind of way, but in a silly schoolgirl way. He was so tall, so subtly muscly from sports. And he was a little more fun than Percy, though you’d never tell him that.

But given that you were so young, there was no viable chance of anything happening. So, you chose to admire him from afar in the two years you overlapped schooling. You were now eighteen like Percy, but you maintained the fact Bill still saw you as a child, nothing else. It was an infatuation that would hurt no one, so you just let it be.

“Good morning, (Y/N).”

You suppressed a smile as he acknowledged you.

“Good morning, Bill.”

“Good morning, (Y/N),” sang Charlie.

You smiled. “Hi, Charlie.” Charlie was quite the handful. You preferred Bill’s calmness than Charlie’s calamity.

“I see it’s you who was tasked with watching our house,” Bill said. “I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”

“Thank you, Bill.” That compliment was going into your pocket for a rainy day.

Bill was still ever so handsome, appearances aging like fine wine, with his soft ginger locks that framed his sharp cheekbones. His blue eyes glinted in the morning sun. You peeked at his chiselled jaw and his—dare you say—kissable lips. His t-shirt barely hid the muscles in his arms. He might’ve been tall and predisposed to being lankier compared to Charlie, but you knew he had his own ways to keep fit.

You were so busy being entranced by Bill that you’d lost track of time and space. All you knew was that it was the best morning ever, sitting in front of him, surrounded by faint windchimes and the chirping birds outside to the window. Breakfast hadn’t even been served and you were already salivating thinking about Bill doing push-ups under the hot Egyptian sun, and that wasn’t even that deep in the gutter where most of your thoughts laid, in fact—

Suddenly, a large explosion reverberated through the house and shook the table. It jolted you and Percy. You yelped and ducked. When you regained your sense of place, you looked up. No one else besides you and Percy were fazed.

“What was that?” you asked Percy, trying to settle your heart.

“Fred! George!” Molly cried, walking over to the stairs with her spatula still in hand. “What have I told you about your experiments?”

“Sorry, mum,” George said, running down the stairs, a smidge of ash on his face. “That’s it for today, I promise.”

“I don’t want to hear this again, ever!” Molly shrieked. Then, she calmed down when she realised she was in front of guests. “Well, if that’s it, then help out a little bit, won’t you? We have to get going in less than an hour.”

“Sure thing,” George said with a smile. He ran over to the table and to the coffee pot. He gave it a jiggle, letting the remaining liquid slosh around. “Anyone need a top up of their coffee?”

“Mum made that pot, you can trust it,” Percy advised.

“Thank you,” you whispered back, and then looked up at George, “I wouldn’t mind a cup.”

George sauntered over and poured you a cup. “Coffee, Bill?” he asked.

“That sounds good,” Bill responded.

“You’ll have to wait another ten minutes then,” George said with a frown. He tapped the empty glass container. “I’ve just run out. If only (Y/N) didn’t drink for two.”

“Quit it,” Percy warned his brother with a low tone.

“I’m sorry,” you said. You were about to offer Bill your cup when Percy held out a hand to stop you.

“Keep it,” Percy countered as she shoved the white mug back to your side. “I wouldn’t trust anything they put out. I’m glad it’s you that took the last of what mum made.”

You kept your voice quiet and giggled. “I hope Bill has an iron stomach, then.”

Percy nodded.

While Percy could be harsh on his siblings, you were grateful for his looking out for you. To be fair, you were also skittish around Fred and George. They weren’t as easy to read as other people. A friendly smile often meant something sinister.

“Would anyone like some liqueur in your morning beverage?” Fred asked, skipping three steps as he ran down the stairs. He reached underneath his coat as if selling contraband. “I have whatever tickles your fancy. In fact, Georgie and I have been working on something we reckon will be extremely profitable.”

Molly shot him a glare. You shook your head politely.

“Don’t feel like you have to respond to his foolishness,” advised Percy. “He doesn’t deserve your time of day.”

“Loosen up, (Y/N),” Fred commanded. “If you hang around Percy all day and refuse any fun, you’ll both die virgins.”

You went beet red immediately. It was a shade that rivalled Percy’s in speed and depth. You prayed that Bill wasn’t paying attention to you.

“That is ENOUGH!” bellowed Molly who whipped around so quickly that she nearly decapitated George with her wooden spoon. She’d reached her boiling point. “I won’t have you ruining our morning with your distasteful conversations, especially with all our guests presents.” She charged over to Fred and handed him a stack of plates. “Go on, make yourself useful and set the table.”

“(Y/N), darling,” Molly said, her sudden change in tone a little frightening. “I’ve cleared out Bill’s old room for you. Since he’s heading back to Egypt right after the World Cup, he’ll share Charlie’s room for the time for the last night. There are fresh sheets and towels and a change of clothes if you need. You are welcome to use the bath right next to the room.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.” Fred’s comment about your virginity went through one of Molly’s ears and out the other. Thank Merlin.

“Coffee’s ready, dear brother,” George sang. “How do you take it?”

“Just black,” Bill responded. “Thank you, George.”

You peered at Bill through a sip of coffee. Your heart fluttered again. Summers were really the best. It was the only chance to see him again for a flicker of time, an hour or two, before he travelled halfway across the world again. In this case, in a week. As the meal went on, you stared at him so intently during breakfast that your fork speared your cheek instead of your mouth multiple times.

When breakfast concluded, you assured Molly that you’d take care of the dishes and ushered her to the door.

“I hope you have a nice time,” you said to Ron and his friends. He mumbled a thanks. You smiled at him, happy that you were making some progress with Percy’s younger brother. Your peace was ruined by Fred and George murmuring amongst themselves excitedly. You hoped it was about the World Cup and nothing else.

Arthur was doing a routine headcount when he asked: “Where’s Bill?”

“He said he had some emergency work to finish up for the bank,” Charlie said. “Keep the portkey open for him for another hour, and he’ll be sure to make it by then.”

“If you need anything,” Percy said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You know where to find me.”

You nodded.

After the Weasleys left, you locked the door and headed back into the house. Knowing Bill was upstairs working, you got to tidying the kitchen in the quietest manner you could. You hoped the running water and the occasional clinking of dishes wasn’t bothering him. It would be really embarrassing if he came down to complain about the noise.

After the kitchen was cleaned, you went outside to trim the shrubs, water the plants, and feed the cows. You forced yourself not to peek at the front door to see if Bill had left. He probably had, and it hurt a bit that he’d gone without saying goodbye.

The temperature had risen dramatically since you arrived in the morning, and by the time you were done, you were a sweaty mess. Bill had likely gone which meant you’d have the house to yourself. You caved into the idea of a long bath to wipe the mud and grime off your body. You dashed up to the main washroom Molly offered you and began running the water.

When you were finished with your bath, you wrapped a clean towel around you and proceeded to your room. Maybe you could do some reading and take a nap before deciding on dinner, Your chest tingled when you realised it was Bill’s old room—how lucky were you? The first thing you noticed when you entered was that Bill’s room was clean and sparse. Molly had left a window cracked open to allow for a gentle breeze, and placed your clothes on the bed. You took a couple steps forward and let your towel drop on the floor to reach for your tank top when suddenly…

Your hand met a tuft of hair. Hair that was attached to a pale, sweaty head.

You screamed as you tumbled back, your bare bum hitting the wooden floor. Oh, where the heck was your wand when you needed it? You grabbed a pair of slippers in self-defence.

“Who’s there?” you said in the bravest voice you could muster. “You need to get out of here, now!”

The thing in the bed just groaned weakly. You saw a pale, shaking arm stick out of the covers. Whatever it was, it was at least human, hopefully.

Your hand grappled the top of the desk for your wand. Once you found it, you rose cautiously from the floor with the intent to peel away the covers. You’d dealt with Boggarts; you’d seen your worst nightmares in person. You treaded cautiously because the creature could rise at any moment. But it didn’t, forcing you to get closer.

Your heart almost stopped when your hands grasped the hem of the covers. Your life flashed before your eyes. You needed to survive. You needed to live to work with Percy at the Ministry come September. You needed to live for your family. You needed to live for the off chance Bill Weasley shared the same feelings as you—oh, you were about to die, what was the point of thinking about Bill?

With your wand in an offensive position, you ripped the sheets off.

But there was nothing.

Nothing at all.

What?

It took you a few seconds to process it, but this… thing wasn’t a creature at all. In fact, it was Bill Weasley. Well, an apparition of him of sorts. He looked extremely pale and sickly, his skin the shade of paper. His ginger hair stuck to his face, his sweat binding it like it was wet glue. There was an intense warmth radiating from his skin, and his body jostled slightly as the cold air hit him.

“Bill? You called out in complete disbelief. “Are—are you okay?”

He groaned in response. Slowly, he turned his head towards you. He looked even worse up close, or as worse as Bill Weasley could possibly look. His eyebrows were intensely furrowed, his breathing laboured, and he could barely open those pretty eyes of his—oh, not this again! Bill looked to be on death’s bed and all you were thinking about was how handsome he was.

“I don’t know what happened,” Bill breathed out. His voice was a mere rasp. “I was feeling fine this morning. I can hardly get up now. And I can’t talk,” he coughed as if to prove a point, “above a whisper.”

“Are you running a fever?” you inquired, concern thick in your voice.

“No, I don’t think—,” Bill mustered the strength to open his eyes. He looked startled. “(Y/N)?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Where…”

You looked at Bill intently.

“Where are your clothes?”

“Huh?”

You looked down. Your mouth went slack. You were barer than the day you were born.

“Shit!” you exclaimed. “I’m sorry, don’t look, don’t look, sorry, sorry!” So caught up in the heat of things, you’d haphazardly abandoned your towel in exchange for your life. You scampered back to retrieve it and tied it back on yourself. When you looked up, Bill was, fortunately, turned away, and only a sliver of his naked back was visible to you.

“Is there anything I can help with?” you asked in a state of panic. ‘Besides giving you a show?’ On the inside, you had to laugh at the thought of a striptease benefiting Bill’s health.

Bill was looking worse for wear with every passing second, and you were just prancing around without clothes. “Your mother keeps potions in the cabinet, doesn’t she? I’ll go find an antipyretic--”

Bill swiped at his forehead with his palm. “I don’t think it’s a fever, well, to the best of my knowledge.”

“Then perhaps some water?” you offered. “Or some soup?”

“(Y/N),” Bill called. Your name rolled off like velvet from his lips. “Come here, please.”

Your eyes widened. Your heart was beating erratically and whether it was out of fear or anticipation, you didn’t know. Still, you complied and began walking over. The floor felt like pricks underneath your feet.

“Could you please take these sheets off?” Bill asked. “I might try to cool down.”

You nodded. “S-sure.” You pinched the hem of the bedsheet with your forefinger and thumb and carefully stripped the sheet off. Every second that passed unveiled a new, delicious sight: Bill’s toned chest, the crevice between his chest and abdominal muscles, the veins running down his forearms, and the shapely twin creases that led straight down to his briefs. A chill of disappointment ran through your body when you realised he was still clothed.

‘Stay focussed’, you pleaded with yourself. You were here to help Bill, not to take advantage of him.

“Is that better?” you asked Bill, but your eyes weren’t on his face. They were instead fixated on the centre of his body and namely, the very present bulge at the apex of his black briefs. His manhood had tented so viciously that it stretched the black fabric until it was translucent. Was that a spot of pink flesh or were you just seeing things? You gulped and tried to reign in your imagination.

Bill breathed out as the cool air kissed his skin. “Marginally.”

“I can bring the fan inside the room,” you suggested so quickly you almost toppled off the bed.

“Wait.” Bill’s hand grabbed your wrist before you could get anywhere. Your skin scorched. “Can you help me with one more thing?”

You were about to explode. “Sure, Bill.”

“Could you help me remove my briefs too?”

Your jaw had, at this point, permanently detached from your face. “What?”

“Just one last thing and my temperature should regulate itself.”

Was stripping really a remedy to Bill’s ailment? Shaking your head, you decided to help him in any way possible before running back to the bathroom to splash cold water on your face to ascertain that you weren’t dreaming. This definitely had to be a dream. Today probably hadn’t even started yet. Any minute now, your alarm would ring and you would wake up so disappointed.

“Alright.”

Slowly, you hooked your fingers underneath the elastic waistband of Bill’s briefs. His blue eyes fluttered close and his face twisted in relief. You suppressed a groan at the sight of Bill like this, pleasured by your every touch.

You’d never admit that Fred was right in his observation this morning, but it was true that you’d never seen a… penis in the flesh. But there was no turning away now as your hands worked to expose every inch of pink flesh hiding underneath Bill’s undergarments. It was deliciously lewd, the way his long cock sprang out from the confines of his boxers and nearly slapping you in the face. A tad closer, and the appendage would’ve swiped your cheek. Just inches in front you pulsed a swelling, oozing pink tip that was connected to a thick shaft that only seemed to grow slightly in girth as you stripped him.

You had nothing but anatomical pictures and the circumference of your wrist to compare him to, but even you knew he was bigger than average. Bill had, truly, the prettiest cock to ever exist. Pale, smooth, pink, but an angrier shade coloured the head. He was thick, but even thicker near the base. Veins painted his manhood like art. You almost had to wonder how he’d feel inside you, splitting your virgin pussy open. It would kill you.

Holy shit. You had to stop thinking, because you were getting yourself wet.

Bill raised his hips up to help you bring the last bit of his briefs down from underneath him. Your hand grazed the back of his thigh. The unintended action elicited a not-so-subtle moan from Bill.

“I’m sorry, I—,” Bill said, pushing himself up on the bed. His neck was flushed crimson and his breathing heavy. You had plummeted into the ocean with the saltwater flooding your ears; you could barely hear. You gulped as a bead of wetness suddenly spurted out of the tip of his cock and threatened to run down the length of it. “I reckon I was cursed or hexed by someone,” he surmised. “It’s not like me to require such things of you, or anyone for that matter.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered. Your hand was turning white with the deathgrip on your towel. “But Bill, did that… help?”

The smartest thing to do was to remove yourself from this conversation and call for help, but you kept pressing the topic. You planted your palms on the mattress and looked on in awe. Bill was well-endowed beyond your wildest dreams. You couldn’t stop admiring him.

Forgetting he was naked, Bill sat up. His cock curled closer to his navel as a result. “What?”

You ripped your eyes away from the bead of precum that’d captivated your attention. “When we touched. It seemed to bring some colour to your face.”

“Come to think of it, I reckon it did, yeah,” Bill responded. He furrowed his brows, his words dying on his lips. There was only one direction this conversation was going to go and you had steered it off the overpass and down the cliff.

You spoke up first. “Have you tried touching…”

“Myself?” Bill finished with a chuckle.

You blushed. “Yes, well,” you countered. “It’s not entirely unreasonable, and—”

“I have.”

You tilted your head. “And?”

Bill attempted to lift his hands, but they gravitated down to the bed. “Well, I’ve… tried,” he admitted sheepishly, “but it’s made it worse.” He chuckled and shook his head at the state he was in. “And now I can’t even manage to move my arm.”

“Oh.” You frowned. “But when I touched you, you felt better?”

Bill blew out some air which tickled the wet hair on his forehead. He gestured to his raging erection. “Can you… would you mind? You’re right, it might help.”

Would you mind?

Of course you wouldn’t.

“I’ve never, erm,” you countered. A blaze of heat rushed to your cheeks. You didn’t want to admit to Bill that Fred was right when he clocked you as a virgin, though it didn’t take a deep understanding of your person to come to that conclusion. You and Percy both looked down on dalliances as prefects back in school, even busting students in the act and sending them to be reprimanded. You reckoned Bill was going to find it uncool but it was better to be truthful. “I’ve never done this with anyone.”

He chuckled. “I figured.”

You wanted to shrivel up and die.

“But it’s absolutely fine,” Bill correctly quickly, knowing he’d offended you slightly. “You don’t need to have done it to know how to do it. I’ll guide you.”

You nodded. “Okay.”

He did his best to motion to the base of him with his hands. “Grip me firmly down here.”

You obliged, holding him at the base with your right hand as you clutched your towel in the other. For an usually flaccid body part, Bill was very, very hard and warm. All the blood in his body was concentrated into one area, so it made sense. You were grateful when your thumb still managed to touch the tips of your fingers because, well, he was quite big and you weren’t confident he was going to fit in your hand.

“Move up and down,” Bill instructed in between heavy pants. You nodded. When you started shifting your hand from the base to the head and back, he let out a low groan. His skin felt like velvet in your hands; he felt so good. “Yeah, just like that.” Precum dribbled from Bill and onto from the side of your fingers as you moved faster and covered more ground. Bill’s eyes alternated from open to close in erratic intervals as you began to adjust your speed and the tightness of your fingers around him. When Bill stopped talking, you reckoned you were doing a pretty damn good job.

Bill was powerless underneath you and you relinquished the feeling. But you wanted more.

So, you shifted from the edge of the bed towards the end of it, squeezing yourself in between his long legs. You never took your hands off him in the process so Bill was none the wiser about your mischievous movements. So, it was only when Bill heard the creaking of the bed that he looked up in surprise. By then, it was too late. You had already stopped pumping his shaft and leaned in to inhale the sweet musk instead.

“Can I?” you asked, batting your eyelashes.

Bill inhaled sharply, his cock duking out his brain for once the last shred of modesty. Oh, fuck modesty. “Only if you want to.”

In one swift motion, you leaned in and kissed the red and leaking tip. Clearly, it was you who really wanted to do this. When the soft skin of your lips met the soft skin of his head, Bill let out an audible gasp that was immediately swallowed by a throaty moan. He was not expecting you to be so brazen, so generous in your help. Little did he know you’d do anything for him at this point, his own affliction long forgotten.

“How does that feel?” you asked.

“Amazing,” he rasped.

You licked the precum—salty, a little tingly, you noted—off his slit with the tip of your tongue. He tasted so good. Bill threw his head back. The ridges of his abs crinkled as he tried to hold himself upright with his elbows on the bed. He wanted to see you. You smacked your lips, unable to wait patiently to devour your meal. Then, in a moment of pure deviousness and sheer horniness, you enveloped Bill’s tip around your mouth.

“Shit!”

This was the last thing Bill said before he fell back onto the bed. You took that as a sign of surrender; what you were doing felt too good for him to keep his defences up. He’d long stopped giving you instructions and let you take reign. Emboldened, you licked the slit with your tongue with Bill still nestled in your mouth. You then began to take him in further, as far as you could before he reached a natural stopping point at the back of your throat. Your mouth tensed—he was too big to fit comfortably inside. You sucked in your cheeks, hypothesising that a tighter fit would feel better for Bill. Sure, you were inexperienced, but you weren’t stupid or ignorant on the subject of what was pleasurable.

“Yes, that’s it, (Y/N), just like that.”

You forewent your towel in favour of holding onto Bill’s thighs, placing one hand on the side of each of his legs. Still, you pressed your breasts down on the bed to hide your nipples to preserve what little was left for Bill to still see. Then again, what was the point of dignity when his dick was in your mouth?

Bill’s hands quietly crept along the bedsheets and floated towards your head. From there, his long fingers wove and nestled themselves in your hair so deeply that it wouldn’t be easy for you to untangle yourself. Clever of him. His fingernails glided across your scalp, slowly, tenderly, like a predator circling their prey before the attack. Bill then started guiding your head up and down slowly, his patience clearly wearing thin and needing to take matters into his own hands--literally.

“Feeling okay?” he asked.

You nodded, unable to speak. Bill noted this and chuckled. You gave him a pointed look.

“Hard to look intimidating with my cock in your mouth, love,” he said, tightening his fingers around your hair. You grumbled something unintelligible. The wetness leaking out of your core spoke volumes for you.

Bill’s hands were fully entangled in your hair as he continued to lift you up and down. Slow at first, but he could hardly contain himself after the first minute. The way his big cock pulsed in your mouth, gods… The faster he commanded you to move, the more his visage grew streaked from the tears in your eyes. You tightened your grip on his thighs every time his cock glided across your palate and pushed itself down your throat. You did everything in your power to not gag or choke, but when he did strike particularly deep, you pulled off of him immediately.

“I’m sorry,” Bill quickly said. “Was that too much?”

You shook your head, wiped a wet line of tears from your face, coughed, and responded, “No, I’m fine.”

You crawled back to him and engulfed him without another word.

“Ah,” Bill breathed out. “Fuck, (Y/N). You feel so good.”

You shouldn’t be enjoying being used so much, but you loved it. Loved it especially when Bill held you in place and began thrusting into your mouth instead as a means to conserve effort and increase his speed. You were growing wetter and wetter with every compliment he spoke. You imagined Bill’s big hands gripping your hips, stilling you, as he thrust repeatedly into your pussy. You wanted to be used everywhere.

“Shit,” he growled, lazy eyes hovering on you. Deliciously lazy and so hazy. “I’m close.”

He stopped thrusting, but you hadn’t stopped bobbing your head up and down. You were so far gone in your quest to make Bill come that you’d thrown your own needs aside.

“Hold on, (Y/N),” Bill commanded. “Don’t you want to—ah—!”

You knew he’d reached his climax when his hips ascended and stilled above the bed. A deep moan left his mouth. Bill’s cock twitched heavily with every rope of cum that shot its way into your mouth. He didn’t quit until every crevice of your mouth was sloshing with his seed; he was a never-ending faucet of cum.

After a minute, you finally detached yourself from him, careful to keep the fruits of your labour in your mouth and not on the bed sheets that Bill’s mother had laundered so well. You swallowed all the cum in your mouth. It wasn’t as pleasant as the books and films had made it out to be—it was warm and slightly bitter, but it was Bill’s and heaven knew you’d do anything for him.

Bill threw himself back on the bed, his head meeting the pillow with a soft thud. He was still breathing heavily as he reposed. Though his hair stuck wildly to his cheeks—which were slowly regaining colour—his face expressed newfound calm.

Bill patted the pillow beside him, on the spot in between the wall and his body. “Come here,” he rasped, his eyes still closed.

You obliged and scooted upwards. Bill splayed his arm on the pillow to give you a makeshift headrest. You settled into the nook of his bicep. Through the corner of your eye, you stole little glances at Bill and the rise and fall of his chest. A warm, midday breeze fluttered through the open windows, the red curtains billowing out. Everything was so serene, so tranquil, so…Holy shit, what had you just done?

Just three hours ago, you were wistfully staring at Bill at breakfast, grateful to have seen him at all this year to feed your starving crush on him. Now, you were laying naked in his bed with him after giving him what you hoped was an acceptable blowjob. It was both great and terrible that you wouldn’t see him after today. How would you explain this to anyone if you couldn’t even believe it yourself? You needed to bolt and never see Bill again.

Bill snapped you out of your trance. “(Y/N)?”

“Yes, Bill?”

You turned around to find yourself reflected in his crystal blue eyes.

“Would you like to finish, too?”

“Oh, uhm!” Well, you hadn’t expected him to ask you that. “No, I’m okay.” An utter lie. Your pussy was pleading to be fucked. You sat up, preparing yourself to go. “I should finish up with my chores. You should get going before the portkey closes.”

Bill grasped your wrist again. “I don’t want to go.” He sat up with you and looked you straight in the eye.

He was serious. The intensity of his gaze was so overwhelming that you looked down. You sucked a quiet breath in.

“I want to make you feel good,” he said, placing a hand on your cheek. “Let me, please.”

You choked. Was Bill Weasley begging to go down on you? The resolute look on his face definitely extinguished any fight you had left in you. A fraction of a second after you nodded, Bill turned you over and kissed you. One hand remained on your cheek while the other wrapped itself around your naked waist to pull you closer until your chest was flush against his. If you weren’t focussed on how hard his lips were pressed on yours, you would’ve been more embarrassed about how your pert nipples were pressed against his chest. Bill obviously didn’t mind, in fact, he was trying to pull you in as close as possible, closing the last sliver of space between your bodies.

Bill tilted his head to deepen the kiss. His lips felt like hard silk—a walking contradiction— against you and now you wished to feel them everywhere: on your neck, on your breasts, on your stomach and in between your legs. You reckoned he should kiss heavily in between your legs.

Bill was all lean muscle and long limbs. He couldn’t splay out on the bed as easily as you could. He landed on his knees, then shifted you upwards until your head was resting against the baseboard of the bed. He spread your legs with his hands—so big that they absolutely swallowed you—using his thumb as anchors.

He looked back up at you. His eyes had darkened significantly, like a sudden storm that had broken through a clear day. Whatever drug was flowing through his veins, it was only growing more potent. “You’re so wet.”

You made an attempt to shut your legs. You were cycling through moments of confidence and embarrassment, and his words made you want to curl up and die.

“Don’t,” Bill said. “You turn me on so much. Who knew that behind such an innocent facade was a girl begging to be fucked?”

And just like that, your legs fell open in one buttery smooth motion.

”That’s it, such a good girl for me,” Bill praised. He leaned in and ran his tongue flat over your folds. You squirmed but his iron-clad hold on you prohibited any movement. You tried so very hard to quiet yourself as his tongue painted you in oscillating strokes. You gasped whenever he landed briefly on your clitoris. He hummed, pleased, and let the vibrations rock your body. Your breathing was dangerously unsteady as Bill pulled you closer to him and increased the intensity of his tongue. He unlatched one hand from your thigh and shifted them near your drooling entrance. Gently, he inserted a finger. Before you could jump upwards at the intrusion, he brought his tongue back to your clit to massage away any pain. “So sweet,” he hummed again. Bill kept his finger steady inside you until your squirming stopped.

“You’re so tight,” Bill whispered. He added another finger to your already taut hole. “I can barely fit two fingers in here. How do you suppose you’ll take my cock, hm?”

A rhetorical question. Instead of waiting for an answer, Bill began moving his fingers back and forth. You let out a small whine that you buried into the pillow. “Sh, it’s okay, just relax, darling,” Bill assured. In a matter of moments, Bill had gone from shallow little thrusts to burying his fingers to the hilt. The motion of his fingers curling inside you elicited a load moan from your lips, and your legs parted further in response. It was over when his stupid tongue found its way back to your clit; you nearly screamed. He flicked your sensitive bud over and over, building the pressure in the region. Between that, and Bill’s face buried between your legs and the wet sounds of his fingers inside you, you were just one thrust away from coming undone.

“Bill, Bill—” you tried to stop him, too scared to be thrown over the edge. But Bill showed no sign of stopping. When he sucked on your clit, you knew it was over. He had pushed you off the cliff. “Bill!”

You clamped down on his hand, but Bill hadn’t stopped moving; he was intending to fuck you through it. Waves of pleasure, sweetly punctuated by Bill’s nimble fingers, washed over you until you had no coherent thought left. You laid there for a minute, until your heart rate had finally settled back to normal.

“I’m getting impatient,” Bill chuckled. “Seeing you writhe around like that, coming on all over my hand, Merlin..”

You tightened your lips. “Me too.”

“What was that?” he teased, pretending not to hear.

“I’m getting impatient.”

“For what?”

“You know what for.”

He shot you a cocky grin. “I won’t know until you tell me.”

“Fuck me, Bill,” you almost screamed. “Fuck me, please.” It was killing you. You looked down at Bill’s manhood. He looked even harder and fuller than how you found him, if that were even possible. His cock twitched to stand at full attention when you shuffled back to him. You wanted to feel him, so warm and engorged, inside you, splitting you open with how big he was.

“You’re so needy, (Y/N),” Bill teased. He laid down. “Get on top of me, I want to see you.”

You clambered over immediately. You splayed a leg on each side of him and propped yourself up with your knees. Wordlessly, Bill pulled you in and your body listened. He met your lips for another kiss that showed no signs of being broken. Well, not until he decided to latch onto one of your nipples instead. His lips covered the circumference of your areola and sucked gently.

“Bill,” you whimpered, succumbing once again to his dexterous tongue. He swirled around your sensitive bud, flicking it back and forth, and sending little electric shocks down to your toes. You were getting so, so wet for him.

One of Bill’s hands trailed down to his cock and gave it a couple of strokes before he aimed it towards your core. You moaned every time he pressed against your throbbing clit before moving back to your opening and repeating the motion. You needed to come again, and Bill was intent on bringing you there. He rubbed the head back and forth, concentrating the slick to where he eventually wanted to be. He was showing great restraint; it was taking everything not to just thrust into you.

“You already feel so good,” he praised. “So wet, so tight, love, all for me. I can’t wait to fuck this tight pussy.”

Bill piled on the words and continued to ravish your breasts as a distraction of what was to come. The head of his cock was directly aligned with your opening that was weeping at the thought of him inside you. But the largest thing you’d taken ever were Bill’s fingers; he couldn’t possibly fit without absolutely destroying you. The universe couldn’t have gifted you with a warm-up, could it? Instead, it gifted you the girth of Bill. Still, you remained in place, readying yourself as he began to enter you.

You gasped at the first intrusion. You clenched Bill’s forearms in retaliation, your mouth parting in shock. You wanted him badly, but your anatomy wasn’t letting your desires take the front seat.

Bill placed a hand on your back. Stiff. “You’re tense,” he noted, kissing up on your neck. “Just relax. It’ll feel good, I promise.” You nodded, trusting him.

“Hngh—!” was all you let out when he pushed deeper. Your breathing fell out of sync as you tried to calm yourself. Maybe this was it, and all of him was already inside of it.

“That’s just my head inside you, love,” Bill stated, as if reading your mind.

You paled. “How are you so big?”

Bill chuckled in agreement before swallowing you in a kiss. His tongue found its way into your mouth, and you could taste the pure need radiating off him. He gave little shallow thrusts, trying to ease himself into you. Though it still burned heavily, a ring of pain, as he stretched you out, Bill’s pace was making it much more tolerable and frankly, more erotic.

When he was halfway in, Bill’s eyes fell shut in utter bliss. His hands gripped your ass cheeks, pulling them apart, as if it would help you sink further down on him.

“You take me so well,” he said as he continued impaling your poor little pussy. He never stopped littering you with kisses, whether it was on your lips, cheeks, neck, or breasts. He suckled your tits again when he rammed the thickest part of him inside you in one thrust.

You stifled a cry into the crook of his neck and tightened your arms around him. “Bill!”

“Give it a minute, (Y/N),” he assured, but his voice sounded garbled, so far away. “I promise, it’s going to feel so good.”

When he felt you relax a little, Bill began to increase the length of his thrusts, breaking into your pussy a little more each time. You fell onto him, the pleasure beginning to overwrite the pain.

Bill moaned as he sped up the slightest. “You’re so tight, (Y/N), tighter than I could’ve ever imagined.” His words only added fuel to the fire. “I can’t believe it’s me that gets to break into your pussy.”

“Then break me, Bill,” you pleaded. “Please. Harder.”

He chuckled. “You don’t have to ask twice.”

Bill looped his arms around you to hold you in place. From there, he began to drive himself into you faster, harder, just like a hole to be used for his pleasure, just like you had asked.

“Oh!”

You could hardly keep your eyes open as he assaulted your body. He tested different depths and angles, watching your facial expressions for the perfect one. His long, deep strokes were landing on the perfect place - a place that had you seeing stars. So pleasurable but just millimetres away from being too much, too painful. There was so much of him inside you. Your legs stiffened, almost cramping, as the heat increased in pitches in your core. Your hands went wild, trying to find a place to stabilise your body. They found refuge on the top of the headboard. In one particularly hard thrust, he sheathed himself completely inside you, the widest part of him spearing you open.

That was the precise moment you came undone, screaming. White obfuscated your vision as you lost control of your body. You convulsed on him, your pussy contracting around his cock like a vice. Bill continued to fuck you through your orgasm, bottoming out in you repeatedly, letting you ride out the pleasure for as long as humanely possible. You fell onto him like a rag doll, limp, worn out from your second orgasm. Bill could only smile at a job well done. He withdrew himself from you and flipped you over. He nestled his manhood back between your legs. You watched with excitement as his cock, covered in your cream, sprang to his navel. You felt so hollow without him inside you, and you were about to beg for him again, but he moved quickly. He leaned towards you, placing the head of his cock to your opening once again. But instead of delving into you like you had hoped, he rubbed himself against you, occasionally pushing into you the slightest.

Confused, you raised your hips up, trying to align yourself perfectly with his cock and push him back in. But your attempts were futile.

“Don’t do that,” you chastised when you realised he was doing this on purpose.

“Do what?” Bill asked innocently.

“Tease me like this.”

He smirked. “Who said I was teasing you?”

Just as you were about to retort, Bill drove himself into you when you were least expecting it, burying himself entirely into you. Your body shivered in pleasure, legs straightening and stiffening. You screamed when he quickened his pace, pounding into you with deep, full thrusts. His hands gripped your bouncing breasts, keeping them in place and occasionally pinching your nipples. Bill pushed himself to the hilt, then almost withdrew completely, before filling you up again as hard as he could. At certain points, he would hit a bundle of nerves that caused your toes to curl. At some point, you couldn’t tell the difference between pain and pleasure—it all felt so overwhelmingly good.

The lewd sound of his balls hitting your skin was heaven to your ears. In this moment, you wanted nothing more than to be filled with his seed.

“Come inside me,” you near screamed.

Your little request was enough to break Bill out of his trance. “What?”

“Come inside me,” you repeated.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

With no reason to ask you to clarify again, Bill obliged. He gave a couple more thrusts, so powerful it forced your body to slide up over the bedsheets and your head to almost slam into the headboard. Then, he let out a loud, choked grunt, his eyes screwing shut. You could feel his cock twitch heavily inside you as he deposited his seed, filling your pussy. He hovered over you, exhausted, draining every last bit of him inside you. Both of you shared the same laboured respiration. You reached up and pushed back the ginger hair that was strewn across his forehead.

Bill began to soften inside you, but refused to pull out just yet. If you stayed here like this any longer, there was no doubt you’d meld together into one.

With a heavy almost regretful breath, Bill reluctantly removed himself out of you. You felt his cum trickling rapidly out of you and onto the bed sheets. You sat up to look. There was so much. it was smeared all over your sex, all over your inner thighs, and all over the sheets. There was no doubt there was more deep inside you.

You looked up at Bill. Much to your disappointment, he looked to be back to his usual, happy self. Your services were no longer required. And much to your disappointment, he was looking around for his briefs. Well, it wasn’t like you could stay in paradise forever.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” he said.

“Of course,” you responded.

Bill gave you a small peck on the lips which made you smile. Then, it all went downhill from there, as he returned not more than a second later for another kiss. This time, deeper, thick with more lust. The next kiss, he had you pinned you on the bed by the arms. Unexpectedly, you felt him harden against you once more. His cock was back its previous stiffness and trying to find its way back to your cunt.

He paused. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into me,” Bill admitted sheepishly.

“You mean you’re not usually like this?” you questioned with a smile. You didn’t mind it, not one bit.

He contemplated it. “It has been a while, but it’s highly unlikely for me to go twice, let alone three times a day.”

“Really?” You cocked your head. “Is that not—”

Before you could speak, Bill plunged himself into you once more. Your mouth went slack. It was quite an effective way to shut you up. Most of his spend was still either deep inside you or running down your inner thighs, but he was intent on pumping you full of him even more.

You had no complaints. Instead, you succumbed to the wet sloshes of his thrusts and messy kisses once again.

…..

In a tent one long Portkey away from the Burrow, a very different conversation was taking place.

“How do you reckon our Paradise Potions did?”

“Considering that Bill hasn’t joined us, I’d say pretty well.”

END!

Part 2

#bill weasley smut #bill weasley x you #bill weasley x y/n #bill weasley x reader #smut #bill weasley imagine #why am i so horny!!#sex pollen #kinktober

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bizarrelovetriangel · 3 months ago

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let's get physical.

reader uses her charms to make rafayel feel more motivated to work out.

fluff ft. whiny raf <3

Rafayel caresses your thighs as you sit on his lap, moaning as your lips tenderly presses against his. His hands snuck through the hem of your shirt to feel the softness of your skin. From the moment he pushed up to remove the clothing, you pulled away.

"Wait, don't go cutie. I want more..."

You smiled and gently pinched his cheeks.

"No problem~"

You then descended from his lap and stepped away from the couch.

"But first, give me twenty reps of sit-ups."

"....huh?!"

Suddenly, he's looking at you as if you're the ultimate traitor of his life.

"My ears must be deceiving me. I thought I heard you say something weird just now."

You took Rafayel's hands and held it just as he started to dramatically clean his left ear with his left pinky finger.

"Let's play a game, Rafayel."

Rafayel caught the mischievous glint in your eyes and became nervous. And yet still, he asked, "What kind of game?"

"For every time you either do twenty reps on anything or do five minutes in the treadmill, you can have some kisses. Or headpats. Or a snack if that's what you prefer."

"No, I want the kisses!" he pouted. "That's what you promised me so you have to committ if you're gonna reward me for getting tortured."

Rafayel huffs before marching towards his closet to pull out his work out clothes.

"I'll wait for you at the gym!"

///////

Rafayel started with his favorite cardio machine.

While you do your own sets of exercises nearby, he power walks on the the treadmill while ocassionally muttering under his breath about how evil you are.

You did feel bad a little. You know he doesn't really enjoy working out, but Rafayel himself was the one that told you to make sure he works out at least once a week, no matter how much he cries about it, as that is what his doctor recommends him to do.

The least you can do is make it more bearable for him, even if it means giving him silly little rewards.

"Okay, five minutes done!"

"Yay!" you spread your arms wide open. "Come here~"

His first instinct was to excitedly run into your inviting embrace, but he remembered your villain-like idea and frowned. "Hmph." He crossed his arms and looked away. "No way I'd run into the arms of an evil witch who wants my heart to jump out of my chest."

"So you don't want kisses? That's fine - "

"No wait I was just joking! Come back!"

Rafayel jumps into your arms and immediately attacks your lips.

//////

"I think I'm dying. Be prepared to become a widow, my beloved bride."

"Relax you big baby. You only did ten reps of sit-ups." You were kneeling down by his feet, making sure he comes up properly for a full rep. "Ten more and then you get to take a break, so hurry."

"Ugh."

He forced himself to keep going even though his abs were already burning up. This is already the second set: just one and he'll be free...until the next exercise.

Rafayel searched for a distraction so he could stop thinking about the pain, and he didn't need to wander further. All he had to do was look straight at you.

You're wearing a simple shirt and shorts, several strands of your hair have fallen out of place, and you're sweating from all the exercises you've been doing.

And yet, you're still a sight for sore eyes.

"...why'd you stop all of a sudden? You're on your last two reps!"

Rafayel's ears turns pink. "Just saw something pretty, that's all."

The way you immediately started to look around to search for whatever had caught his eyes bought a giggle out of him.

///////////

"Like this?"

"Raf, no! You'll injure yourself like that!"

You rushed to his side to adjust his posture as he attempts to work out his shoulders.

It's definitely not the first time he's done this exercise and he absolutely does know the proper posture.

But you don't need to know that right now.

Not when your hands are all over him.

////////////

"So dizzy..."

Rafayel drops to his knees after the final exercise. Sweat is dripping from his forehead, neck, chest and back, causing his shirt to stick to his skin. His heart is pounding and his throat is craving for water.

"I'm gonna disintegrate in three seconds."

Before he could dramatically fall to the floor, you appeared in front of him and patted his head.

"There, there. You did so well!"

Rafayel wrapped his arms around your waist and rested a side of his face against your stomach. You brought with you a small towel so you could wipe the sweat off his face.

"Since you worked so hard, how about we go out for lunch? We need to eat lots of protein!"

"Oh! I know just the place! Let's go right now!" He ran towards his bedroom to start changing his clothes but paused as he realized he's not in the best state to go out. "But wait, we have to take a bath first!"

"That's true. You can first - "

"Don't be silly, cutie." He caught your hand and started to pull you to the direction of his bathroom. "We'll save lots of time if we do it together. Let's try one of the bath bombs that we got last week!"

Your eyes lit up as you remembered what he was referring to. "I forgot about that! Okay let's go!"

You and Rafayel quickly set up the bathtub, adjusting the water in the temperature that he prefers.

Once you're both inside, with your bodies submerged in sparkling, floral, pink and purple foamy water from the bath bomb, Rafayel let out a sigh of content.

He's resting his back against the rim of the bathtub, arms over yours while you rest your head on his chest as you blow some of the bubbles on the water.

Sure, the exercises were literally a pain in the ass, but with all the rewards that it came with, Rafayel felt that maybe working out isn't so bad.

As long as it's with you.

As long as it gets to end like this with you every time, he'll never complain about working out ever again.

"Maybe I like working out, after all."

/////////////

"Are you serious, Rafayel?! Let go of the doorknob!" You're trying to drag him to the gym but he won't budge.

"Never! I'm still sore from the exercises we did two days ago!"

"That means you're making good progress! Come on, we have to keep going!"

"Noooo!! Reddie! Help me!!"

#love and deepspace #rafayel #rafayel x reader #rafayel love and deepspace #love and deepspace rafayel #lads #lads rafayel #rafayel lads #lnds #lads x reader #love and deepspace x reader #lynnsfics

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mustyrosewater · 1 month ago

Text

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐒𝐊𝐘 - 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊

𝐫𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭 𝐱 𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐛!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6,068

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: returning to the small wyoming town you were raised after a sharp fall from grace, your music career having turned into mindless pop you were forced to churn out by your manager and now ex, a return to home is just what you need, the perfect place to take a break from the life of a pop star, and also to meet some old faces.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: rhett is jealous again, tense eye contact, niki being a walking green flag, swearing and slight arguing.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: the niki fangirls are gonna love this one, the niki haters maybe not so much, sorry not sorry. the reposts and comments are so greatly appreciated my loves, your feedback means the world and keeps me motivated! please enjoy chapter three!

Aside from the slight talking to from your father when he had come home about an hour later, with a soft reminder to just let him know next time, the night trailed off to be particularly uneventful after the video call with Amanda had ended.

The next morning, you’d hopped into the shower first thing, suddenly feeling all the more grateful for the list of shower supplies you had no doubt Amanda had gone to the trouble of ordering and sending out to you, as they’d been waiting for you ready to go in the shower caddy on the first day.

Soaps that smelled like honey and facial exfloiator had seemed to be exactly what was needed to make you feel recharged and invigorated, washing away the sour emotions of last night.

Reminding yourself of the meditation tracks your therapist had sent to your phone as you stepped back out of the shower, you took the extra time to blow dry your wet hair, putting it up into a claw clip before changing into a comfortable set of grey lounge wear.

Today was a day that was whole heartedly for you, you knew your father was out today, so the entire house was solely your own for a few sweet hours.

Having initially began the day with a coffee and a quick fifteen minute guided meditation out on the porch, just as was recommended, a womans soft breathy voice guiding you through breathing exercises and wellness techniques that you were only half paying attention to.

Your reflex was to grab your phone and post your regularly scheduled promotions for whatever sponsor you were set up with for the day, but here you were, no pressure to post anything, no schedule to follow.

In short, you felt like you had too much free time to do anything with.

Standing on the porch looking out into the driveway in the distance, you could only huff and walk back inside, looking for something that you could fill your day with.

There was only so much old coffee to wash off of the mugs on the sink, polishing them to perfection was enough to waste away a whopping seventeen minutes, you’re only other option to sit on the plush couch and flick on the tv on the wall.

Sitting cross legged, you flicked through a few channels, nothing but older sitcoms played out on the tv stations out this way, maybe a local ad here and there.

As you flicked once more to another channel, the sound of the halfway point of a song began, realising you’d flicked onto the MTV of all things, surprised they even aired it out this far.

Within seconds, you recognised the song to be one of your own, the music video playing along with it, the skintight outfit you were wearing glistening while you danced, two other backup dancers imitating the movements behind you.

You could remember filming this one so clearly, the green screen you’d been made to dance in front of a clear memory, now superimposing you against a backdrop of what you guessed was meant to be the top of a building.

Inbetween the shots of you dancing and singing, they were followed by snippets of you splayed out onto a silk sheet on a bed, the little black nightie they’d put you in leaving little to the imagination as you made bedroom eyes into the camera, just as you were directed to.

It was hard not to cringe, you didn’t even hate the song entirely, the lyrics were just empty against what could have been a half decent hook.

Words of desire towards nobody in particular, singing about how much you loved some imaginary person and how badly you needed them.

The next shot seemed to be you in some sort of leather leotard with gold details, walking through a crowd of people in just as odd outfits dancing along to the song you were lip syncing against.

Unable to watch anymore, you flicked over to the next channel not even caring much for what was on there anymore, even if it was just so that you could have some background noise.

The feeling of your phone vibrating next to you was a welcome distraction, even if it was just a notification from the weather app.

Oh. This was much better than the weather.

A text message, from an unknown number, that didn’t remain unknown for long as you actually opened the message, reading keenly as you found yourself sitting up straighter.

‘hey, its niki. i hope you dont mind, your dad gave me your number before he left last night.’

Even thought you ached to check whether or not he’d actually asked for your number, or if your dad had simply offered it, which did actually sound like something he’d do to be polite to one of your old highschool friends, you resisted, some part of you trying her hardest to remain composed and play it cool.

Is it weird if you respond back too quickly? Would he know you’ve done nothing all day except stare at your phone and cringe at old music videos.

Tapping the back of your phone against your hand impatiently, you allowed at least a minute or two before you even looked at the message again, feeling the slightest bit giddy.

Finally allowing yourself the privilege of typing back a message, you’re teeth sunk into your bottom lip just a little bit as your nails tapped lightly against the screen.

‘oh hey! that’s ok, we probably should have exchanged numbers anyway, considering, haha.’

Unable to help yourself, you screenshotted the message, along with your response, sending it straight to Amanda, already knowing that she would want to be the first of all people to know.

Watching the text you had sent her turn green, as well as the small ‘read’ icon coming up from the bottom almost immediately, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that the facetime request all ready popped up onto your screen, the photo you took of Amanda when you were out to dinner spanning across the screen.

Opening the call with a soft hum sound, Amanda’s face came into view, a grin on her face rivalling that of the cheshire cat.

From what you could see, she was in her gym clothes, her hair in a low bun and a fresh sheen of sweat on her face as she walked to the locker room.

“What did i tell you.” she spoke as soon as she was alone in the locker room, shaking her head at you in the way she always did when she was proven right.

“Ok but like, this doesn’t mean anything solid yet.”

Your response only made her smirk more, her head turning as she opened up the locker containing her bag.

“Clearly he wants to give you something solid.”

Letting out a cackle, your head flying back slightly as you stood yourself, walking to the kitchen and placing the phone on the window sill so that you could make another coffee as you talked.

Before you could continue, you heard your phone vibrate, looking straight at the screen and squinting as you read the message that popped up.

Hearing the vibration through the face time call, Amanda’s wide eyed looked only made you grin more, putting a hand over your mouth to laugh as she placed her airpod in her ear to get ready to exit the gym.

“What’d he say!” she begged, waiting impatiently as you opened the message and read it silently. “I want you, baby, come round to my house so I can bend you over my kitchen table.” Amanda’s poor impression of some kind of latin accent and her comically deepened voice only made you roll your eyes.

“Shut up, thats not what it says.”

Finally reading the message, you couldn’t help but hop in place a tiny bit and let out a small little giggle.

“He’s asking if i’m gonna be at the rodeo on Wednesday, his dad and him are gonna be running his food truck there.”

As Amanda let out a sound of glee, she held a finger to signal to you to wait a second as she opened her car door and got inside, positioning the phone up on her dashboard as she gripped the steering wheel of the parked car.

“So, first of all, you’re going” she began, already taking charge as if she was planning every little detail out in her head to the upmost significance. “And second of all, you will be calling me the night of to pick a pair of jeans that makes your ass look irresistable.”

Rolling your eyes, you pulled up a mocking salute, unable to say no to any of Amanda’s orders; To be completely fair, she knew better thank you about most of these things, having always been the one you came to for advice.

She felt untouchable to you sometimes, like she just had everything figured out, even if you knew in your heart of hearts it wasn’t true.

There had been more than enough times where she’d been vulnerable to you in the same way you had to her, the time’s she’d taken care of her niece when her sister had to go through some treatment at the hospital, the flowers you’d helped her pick out.

It was so often that she was looking after you, so coming around to her place to help her with some dinner and a helping hand with the fussy little seven year old girl had been something she’d barely even had to ask.

“Ok girl, i love you, but i have to get ready to head back home, i’m having Kaycey over again.”

Nodding understandably, you gave her a smile as picked up the phone, using your free hand to run your fingers across your scalp, a small yawn coming out of your mouth.

“Tell her i said hi.”

Kaycey was adorable, but full of stubbornness, the pair of you slowly worked out what made her tick, how she preferred to watch old Bratz movies you’d watched when you were younger, as opposed to Bluey. As the facetime finally ended, the small chirp from your phone signalling the disconnect, you finally spared a look out the window, noticing the beginnings of rain falling from a now darkened sky, the first time it’s rained since the first time you arrived back in Wyoming.

Leaning against the wall as you held your phone back up, you continued typing out your response to Niki, assuring him you wouldn’t miss it, that you’d come up and say hi, even requesting the promise of some free food as a lighthearted joke.

Putting your phone down on the counter, you allowed yourself a moment to step outside, the pittering of rain already starting to sound out against the tin patio roof;

Just as you’d used to do all the time as a child, you took a deep inhale into your lungs, the unplaceable smell of the rain making your mind come flooding with nostalgia.

You’d had no idea just how good the smell of Wyoming rain smelled until it had been so long since you’d even been around it, finding yourself at a weird sense of peace that you hadn’t experienced for a long while.

When the night before the rodeo finally came, there’d been a steady stream of messaging occurring with Niki, messages exchanged reminiscing over highschool memories, asking about how his mother was doing and him gushing about how happy she was about the photo.

Graduating from texting to snapchat should have definitely been the first sign, or at least Amanda thought it was.

Soon enough you were receiving stupid little selfies of him grinning while stood behind the bar, captioned with things such as ‘it’s so dead here, don’t how know many more glasses i can polish’.

It was hard to pretend like you weren’t kicking your legs like a little girl whenever you received one of his absolutely adorable selfies, sometimes at home, sometimes at work.

It was on the off chance that when he’d asked how you were doing, you had a photo of a towel on the door, mentioning needing to take a shower in a bit.

The following snap you’d received from him only about a minute or two later had you with your jaw slack.

A cheeky grin on his face, obviously aware of the nature of the photo, there he stood in all his glory, his arm reached above his head to rest his hand on the doorway above him, his shirt riding up just enough so that you could see the beginning of a line going along his pelvis, a sneaky little hint of olive skin poking out.

For a moment you felt like you’d died and gone to heaven, the way you had to put a hand over your mouth to hide the small laugh of disbelief at his sudden boldness.

The caption didn’t help by any means, only agreeing that he himself also had to shower, the mirror in the bathroom providing just enough of a shadow so that he was slightly less in view.

At first, it was hard not to feel at least a little bit of panic, debating what exactly you could send back, whether or not you wanted to match his energy, return the bone he had thrown your way.

Brief consultation with Amanda has proved more than helpful, advising that an innocent enough little selfie in your pajamas laying on the bed was more than enough of a response, while still hinting at something more.

By no means were you about to jump into sending a nude to your old science partner, but there was certainly some little kick out of being subtly flirty, you definitely missed the feeling of being desired, to be chased, it was invigorating.

It was in all honesty refreshing.

As you placed your phone back face down on the side table, there was a level on anticipation to be found, even if it was late; knowing you were gonna see him tomorrow and that you’d had a pair of jeans hanging on your door along with the stetson your father had just let you keep.

Everything coming together made it hard to sleep at all.

With your father’s agreeance to drop you off at the rodeo, even if he wasn’t attending himself this time, he’d seemed please you were taking the initiative to go somewhere by yourself, musing about how he’d been invited to a poker night with some friends anyway.

Assuring that he’d have his phone on the entire time if you needed anything, he’d waved goodbye to you from the window of his truck, a pleased smile on his face.

The task of actually weaving through the crowds was daunting at first, but slowly you became used to the feeling of turning your body from side to side as you progressed forward, allowing yourself to move in the same rhythm as everyone around you.

There was definitely so much to see that had changed since when you used to go to the rodeo as a kid, more games for the kids set up, so many more different food options available, it was a weird, but not unwelcome change in the slightest.

Watching a group of kids throwing darts at the balloons set up on the wall in front of them, it was hard not to smile, your arms crossing over your chest and watching one of the smallest ones lining up their shot, concentration clearly ethched on his chubby little face, before he threw, a pop sounding out as he cheered with his friends.

Well that was just a little bit adorable huh.

Pulling your purse tighter to your shoulder, you’d hoped your choice of outfit was plain enough so as to not stand out hugely, the denim flare’s on your legs paired with a slightly cropped tee, simple enough, you’d hoped.

The smell of all the fried food only became more tempting the closer you got, being reminded of one of the reasons you’d even come out to the rodeo by yourself in the first place.

You kept your eyes peeled, trying to remember Niki’s description of the food truck that he’d shared over text, as well as a rough idea of where it’d be parked.

It was the bright yellow that initially caught your eye, followed by the small line following to the window lit up by fluorescent white light, only to finally land on Niki, there, in all his glory, a short sleeved grey shirt and apron around his neck.

He seemed so swept up by orders, handing food out of the window and yelling out orders with each docket printing out seemingly at an unforgiving pace.

You recognised his father, along with one other stranger, likely just another cook that worked at the restaurant, grilling away, working at a pace that made you nervous on their behalf.

Smiling to yourself, you approached patiently, waiting for the line to go down until you eventually got to the front, the anticipation killing you each time you’d step forward.

Just as professional as always, you heard Niki yell out a quick “Just one second!” as he hadn’t turned his head to look at you yet, punching an order into an ipad with the concentration of a nuerosurgeon.

When he’d finally looked down at you, you’re smile greeting him, it was quickly reciprocated, his eyes widening as he leaned forward slightly out of the window.

“Hey you! You made it!” he started, turning to look at the dockets printed and hanging above the grill, seemingly checking to see how it was all travelling before he turned back to you.

“If you give me like, five minutes, ill come out and hang, just gotta wait for the rush to finish.”

He was so sweet about it, seeming apologetic as if you weren’t the one he was preparing to halt his work for. Nodding, you gave him a thumbs up, going to turn before you heard his voice once more.

“Pendeja!” he yelled with a laugh, shaking his head when you turned back around “what do you want?” he enquired, gesturing to the chalk board on the side of the truck “on the house.”

“Niki, no, i can’t-”

Your protest was interrupted by a wave of his hand.

“Shut up and tell me what you want.”

God his smile was so gorgeous, even when he was telling you to shut up.

Letting out a sigh as you tilted your head, it was hard to concentrate on anything written on the chalkboard next to his head.

“Just surprise me.”

Finding a spot to the side was easy enough, settling yourself down on one of the many tables that had been set up as a place to eat, you could only wait in silence, finding yourself unable to do much else aside from checking your phone occasionally, pretending to be interested in the time.

Just as promised, after about five or so minutes, you could Niki arriving from the distance, two plastic plates in his hands, apron now discarded you didn’t know where.

Your arm extended out to wave at him, smiling brightly as he came to sit across from you, sliding the plate of food in front of you.

Only now that he was across from you did you realise that he was also holding two glass bottles under his arm, grabbing them and setting them on the table between the two of you, a satisfied sigh leaving his throat as he gestured to what you now realised was a corona.

“For you.” he spoke, nodding to himself, seemingly not noticing the way your face fell only slightly, still trying your hardest to maintain a smile.

You had absolutely no clue how to actually explain everything, the reason you couldn’t touch anything even slightly alcoholing, on top of how you might explain it to him without making him feel petrified at having offered you a beer of all things.

Opening your mouth to speak, you could only let out a small sound, seemingly having no clue as to how you would phrase it.

Noticing the look on your face, his eyebrows rose, concern seeming to cross over his features as he looked down at the spread he’d brought for you.

It felt rude to decline the drink he’d brought for you, no doubt from the fridge of the food truck himself, even worse if he’d actually bought it for you.

“Everything ok? Is it the food? I didn’t make it if thats what you’re wondering.”

His attempt at brushing it off with humour made you feel better in all honestly, a soft exhale of laughter leaving your lips as you leaned forward and hung your head slightly.

Looking back up, you gave him an apologetic look.

“No, the food looks amazing, it’s just..” part of you felt petrified to even touch the bottle, images of you drunk in the street in heels and a sparkly outfit while paparazzi hounded you coming to mind.

Keeping your voice low, you kept it to a simple “I don’t drink.”

Niki’s eye’s widened, his arm immediately coming out to grip the bottle, pulling it to his end.

“Shit, im so sorry.”

The fact he felt bad for something he didn’t even realise killed you a little, yet he seemed to shift the mood back over pretty quickly, sending you that same grin he’d sported in the bathroom photo.

“More for me.”

As you sat and ate, your discussion seemed to range from an array of different topics, old school memories that you were able to laugh about all the way to him explaining all the different times he’d had to kick people out of the bar.

All good things must come to an end evidently, your stomach sinking a little bit as the topic of yourself was brought back into discussion.

“So how long do you think you’re gonna be back in town for?”

The question was obviously innocent, but it only made that ever present anxiety in the back of your mind grow ten fold. The long answer was that you had no idea, would you just hide out here till you had no career to come back to?

Live off of the royalties of your songs for the rest of your life? Not likely.

As much as you wanted to pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist past this small town, you knew there was still record studio executives waiting on you, of course the timeline of your recovery was in your hands, the scandal could still keep your name in headlines for at least a little while longer.

But eventually you knew in your soul they were going to start pulling out when you started dropping off the charts, fading into obscurity.

In the god’s honest truth you hadn’t even thought about it that deeply yourself.

“Absolutely no clue.” you laughed out, holding your hands up and shrugging your shoulders; you didn’t want to go into the details with Niki, you didn’t really wanna burden anyone with the details really.

“I guess this could be a good place for some inspiration, maybe write some new music while im here.”

You didn’t even know yourself if that was true, the inspiration in you had been long sucked dry, when your team started bringing on ghost writers and producers, assuring you that the money was worth the creative integrity.

Deciding that this conversation was doing probably more harm than good to your inner dialogue, you rose from your seat, gathering up the plastic plates and swinging your purse over your shoulder.

“I think i’m gonna go watch the bull riding.”

It definitely was a little bit rude, but the food had been long finished and you knew that there was only so long Niki’s father was going to tolerate him being away from the truck for so long.

“And you.” pointing a finger at him as he stood, placing his hands in his pockets

“Need to get back and keep helping your father out.”

Holding his hands up in a surrendering manner, he only nodded in agreeance with you, the smirk on his face carrying just as much mischief as it always seemed to.

“Okay, okay. I’ll do what i’m told, but only this time.”

Niki returned the gesture of a finger pointed at you as he began to walk backwards, shaking his head as he looked at you.

“I’ll see you round, Pendeja.”

Watching him turn to jog back around the corner to where the food truck was, you could only let out a small huff.

There was definitely an inner turmoil at play within you, that was for certain.

Niki was such a sweetheart, and clearly there was a mutual attraction shared between the two of you, but the petrifying fear of intimacy within you, much less whatever it was exactly that eas starting to bubble between the two of you, seemed to be taking precedence each time a little bit of progress was made.

Even now as you continued your walk towards the bull riding stands, finding a place to sit inbetween all of the other people that lined up to see some cowboys get flung, you were unable to stop the slight frown from cementing itself on your face.

The idea that you could get in the way of yourself that badly was infuriating, but then the idea of jumping straight into another man’s arms so soon after such a messy breakup was just the same.

Hell, the wound was only about four months healed, you still occasionally saw your ex’s face coming up on old mutual friend’s social media, it was nowhere near enough time to just brush something like that aside, right?

When do you know when it’s because you actually want something like that, and not just yourself desperately seeking out the comfort of trading one man out for another?

As the event began, that same familiar rock music blaring out of the speakers just the same as last time, you occupied yourself with watching men getting flung off of thrashing bull’s backs.

Even then, it’s hard to be distracted by self pity when you’ve got something so absolutely entertaining in front of you.

The stupid rodeo clown was even enough to have a laugh leaving your throat.

As fun as it all was to watch, the universe decided that it was particularly enjoying fucking with you tonight, considering that you’d forgotten one big fundamental detail at the bull riding that was currently on.

That detail, that important little smidgen you’d conveniently forgotten?

Rhett Abbott was coming on next.

It was the first time you’d even heard his name since the restaurant, much less seen him in person, having been so distracted by the prospect of meeting up with Niki, you’d completely forgotten about his existence all together. You tried to force yourself not be invested, truly, wanted to continue the air of not caring if he lived or died, considering that was obviously how he felt about you.

Yet when the horn rang out and you immediately heard the sharp clanging of hooves on metal as the gate was swung open, for some reason you just could not look away.

The bull was relentless, seeming to thrash itself in a change of direction as much as possible, determined to get what i considered to be nothing but an annoying flea off of its rump.

As much as you cursed the ground he walked on, hated the way he looked at you with an air of superiority. God, as much as you hated him for starting the nickname tweety bird in highschool.

It would be a lie to say he wasn’t doing a damn good job. You didn’t have to like him or even particularly enjoy his company to see that.

You could literally hear the cheers of the crowd growing wilder the longer he stayed on the bull for, that anticipation of waiting to see whether or not he’d get flung off before his eight seconds were up.

In some weird way, time seemed to be moving in slow motion, yet ultra fast all at the same time, with every millisecond that you didn’t hear the buzzer making your heart rate increase.

As soon as it rang out, like a choir of angels sent from heaven itself, you let out a breath you didn’t even realise you were holding, letting go of your purse handle which was now sporting little moon shaped indents from how hard you were gripping it.

The roar of the crowd around you was palpable, your silence pertaining more to your absolute shock, your mouth hanging open slightly.

As he finally allowed the bull to shake him off, being helped to his feet hastily by a handler as the rest worked at getting the bull back through the gate, you could see his chest rising and falling even from the distance you were at.

Adrenaline was a powerful thing, you knew that better than anybody, as you watched Rhett Abbott begin to bang on his chest like some sort of primal warrior, it was palpable.

His eye’s scanning the crowd hadn’t initially had you off guard, obviously he was enjoying the resounding response to his victory, continuing to bash his fist against his chest.

Even when his eyes landed on you.

As if set off, seeing you in the crowd, knowing you’d witnessed what just occurred, you weren’t sure if it was ego or something else entirely.

But you could have sworn he was smirking.

With a final bang to his chest, your vision might have been tricking you, but had he just nodded at you, a single, sturt nod before he’d turned to jog back to the gate, jumping it as if it was nothing.

You’re head tilted, eyes widening and brows furrowing.

Exactly what the fuck did he mean by that one?

Whether you were meant to be insulted by that, you had absolutely zero clue, the only thing you were certain of is that whatever it was, it was most certainly meant for you.

Left thoroughly confused by whatever it was that had just been shared between the two of you, you dispersed with the rest of the crowd when the rodeo was swiftly coming to an end.

Now noting the lights from games that were no longer on, as well as the now dwindling number of people around, the show grounds were suddenly seeming a lot quieter.

You were definitely tired, no doubt about that, hell, it was nearing almost midnight.

As much fun as it had been to go out by yourself for the first time in ages, the task you were now faced with of getting home was already proving itself to be a daunting one.

Exiting into the now nearly empty parking lot, you stood by the entrance and pulled out your phone, tapping the name ‘dad’ in your contact list and putting the phone to your ear.

Soft ringing was all that you could hear, feeling your heart drop a little bit as it continued, all the way up until his voice mail began to play.

Sucking in a sharp and nervous breath, you hung up and dialed his number again, waiting with a nervous breath, reassuring yourself that he’d probably just put his phone down somewhere and that any minute now he’d pick up.

Yet as his voicemail continued once more, you already felt a lump in your throat as panic began to set in.

Trying two more times evidently wasn’t a big help, doing absolutely nothing to remedy yourself.

Pacing back and fourth by the entrance was doing little for you, running your free hand along the seamline of your jeans not helping in the slightest as your heart beat hammered in your own head. As your own thoughts began to get to you more and more, you subsided in your attempts to call your father, nothing the fifteen percent battery life left on your phone, if he tried to call you back, a flat phone would do absolutely no good.

Yet as about ten more minutes passed, no buzzing from your phone, you were now cursing softly to yourself, feeling tears prick in the corner of your eyes as you rummaged around in your purse for some sort of miracle, anything to feel like you were doing something other than just standing there about to cry.

“What the hell are you still doin’ here?”

Initially, you jumped at the sound of a voice behind you, turning to see who it was however, only made you want to sink further and further into your little pity party.

“Fuck off, Rhett. I really don’t need this right now.”

Any attempt to hide the way your voice wobbled was futile, turning your head up to the sky to try and blink your tears out of existence as you let out a shaky exhale.

“Hey, fuck you. I was just checkin’ to see if you were okay. Christ, don’t worry about it.”

His response only made your lip wobble more, your head hanging as you heard him walk past you, the gravel crunching under his boots, growing softer as he walked towards his truck.

Desperation was a powerful thing, top it off with you on the verge of a panic attack wondering how the hell you’re going to get home that doesn’t involve walking and becoming coyote food.

“Rhett, i’m sorry.” you wobbled out, the sound seeming to stop the cowboy in his tracks, duffel bag hanging off his shoulder as he turned to watch you walk towards him.

“Please, I know you fuckin’ hate me and god knows I don’t know why. But I can’t get home, my dad was supposed to pick me up and he’s not answering me.”

Almost as if you could quite literally see him deliberating, he looked across at you, your puffy eyes and wobbling lip seeming to be enough to appeal to his better nature, whatever the beef seemingly shared between the two of you.

“Fuck sake..” he whispered to himself, letting out a huff as he unlocked his truck and opened the driver side door. “Get in.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, you scurried around to the passenger side of his truck, opening the door and moving a few things off of the passenger seat before sitting down and closing the door.

Trying to compose yourself as he got in next to you and shut his own door, you could hardly even focus on how you were now sitting in the truck of a man you apparently hated.

“I can’t take you to your pa’s place.” he started, his tone already laced with annoyance at the predicament he had found himself in and somehow agreed to.

As he spoke, you waited him to finish, already not loving the idea of not being in your own bed tonight, but anything was better than being stranded out here at night.

“It’s the exact opposite of where I live and I’m fucking exhausted.”

You couldn’t blame him in that regard, you were just as tired if not more, feeling as if you could even fall asleep on these seats, as uncomfortable as they were.

“But, I have a pullout couch you can crash on, just don’t make too much fuckin’ noise and i’ll take you home in the morning, gotta head out that way anyway.”

Nodding, you were in no position to say otherwise, and you knew you were already on thin ice anyway, arguing against him could result in him rescinding his offer of transport all together.

“Ok.” you spoke, trying to calm yourself down and relax knowing you were gonna be safe for the night “I’ll be quiet as a mouse, you won’t even know i’m there i promise-”

As you spoke, he sent you what could only be described as a warning look, tired and exhausted eye’s telling you all that you needed to know.

“Starting now.” you finished, buckling you seat belt and keeping your gaze out the window as his truck pulled out of the parking lot.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 : @foreverchangingmind . @tsukikyo . @marsupialnoises . @iknowrocknroll . @astromilku .

#bob thunderbolts #lewis pullman #lewis pullman fic #lewis pullman x reader #rhett abbott fanfiction #rhett abbott fic #rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott #robert reynolds #bob reynolds x reader #outer range fanfic #rhett abbott x you #outer range #rhett abbot

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sevgilimsatoru · 3 months ago

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Error: 410 (Self Aware!AU Caleb Edition) Part 3

Part:1 Part: 2 Part:4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 A/N

Summary: A self aware!AU with Caleb and NonMC! reader. Tags: Caleb x reader, Caleb x NonMC! reader, Caleb x fem!reader, fluff, angest (slightly) Stressedout!reader. Hypersexual!reader Word Count: 600 words Inspired by: @ittybittyfanblog "If I kept you here with me like this.. Would you think I'm being too selfish?' "-Caleb, Love and Deepspace" Days had started blurring together for you now. Getting up, getting ready, making and eating breakfast, going to classes, coming back home, making and eating dinner, do homework, play love and deep space till 2 in the morning, sleep and repeat. You had grown accustomed to this routine now. It didn't even bother you that much except a few things that had started changing in your internet algorithm. Healthy diet, small exercise videos, self care videos and posts like these kept popping up in your recommended pages which was surprising considering the fact that you clearly remembered not searching up about all this. You groaned, finally slipping off your jacket and shoes as you walked inside your apartment, closing and locking the door behind you. Finally home sweet home. You walked out of the bathroom after showering, cracking your knuckles, you finally sat down on the bed. Just giving your tired muscles a rest. The silence being interrupted by a **ping** You picked up your phone to see a message from the game Love and Deepspace. It was a message from Caleb, "I missed you". As sweet as it seemed, that message made your blood run cold. You had never turned on notifications of this game. This and the other weird things that had been going on in your phone.., What the hell was going on? You quickly opened your phone, opening different apps and your saved documents. Had you downloaded some sort of virus? It didn't seem like it. You even ran an anti virus scan on your phone but nothing. Maybe it was hacked. Oh god, what was happening? How could you have been so dumb to get your phone hacked? There was so much important information saved in your phone. What could you do now? You couldn’t just run to your parents for help, you weren’t a kid anymore.. A slow melody broke you out of your thoughts, glancing down at the loading of the Love and Deepspace game. And there stood Caleb, so close to the screen, his arms crossed over his chest. "Calm down, [y/n]. It's alright." Caleb said, his voice ringing through your ears. What.. WHAT!? Were you actually loosing it or was Caleb actually talking to you? Okay.. maybe you were just hallucinating all this time. That’s.. worrying. Hallucinating and then hearing a game character talking to you, that’s not normal. Besides what sort of sane person gets attached to a fictional character like the way you were. Yep, you had definitely gone insane. Maybe you should get yourself admitted in a psych ward.. Who knows what your mind will make up next? Caleb was still staring at you, looking at your worried expression. "Hey hey- it's okay, just breathe. Like how I do it, breathe in.. breathe out.., in.. out.., in.. out.. and there we go- doesn't that feel better?" Caleb said, watching you follow his instructions. A small smile forming on his face. You sniffled, looking at him. Just looking at him for a moment, you shrugged, opening and closing your mouth like a gold fish. You couldn't think of what to say. "So.. I don't know what is going on but I can hear you, you are talking to me. How can I be sure that this isn't some sort.. I don't know hallucination." The smile that formed on Caleb's face was enough to calm your mind down. That easy, teasing smile. "Just trust me, alright? Keep breathing though. We don't want to be stressed out. You know I'll indulge you, ask me whatever you want. I'll answer honestly. Promise.." He said, holding out his pinkie finger towards you on the screen.

Tag list: @beewilko @browneyedgirl22 @aneertawrites @etsuniiru @demon-master-zero @angstylittleb1tch @mcdepressed290 @ittybittyfanblog @winwinwrites @alifyairl @huhleighna @calebsbeanpeeler @bookworrm1999 @mentaltrouble2201

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onelittlespiral · 11 months ago

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FML: Confidence

I had decided it was finally time for a change. A few years after college and sitting all day at the office had taken its toll. Twink death was here, but I wanted to have a chance at a few more wild nights before I hit my thirties. So, on a buddy’s recommendation I called up Dr. Webb. He had been touted to me as one of the best in his industry, able to help with all kinds of health and wellness. In my consultation, we discussed my goals. I talked about my concerns around aging and some of the weight I had put on. He probed a bit about my health and family medical history. He was so calm and gentle. It was so easy to talk with him I may have even disclosed more than I wanted to about my college days and conquests. At the end, he leaned back and read over his notes:

“If I am being honest, I am not sure what you are too concerned with. You may not be your youngest, but I wouldn’t say you are deviating too much from a health body at your age.”

“But Doc, I don’t want to just slide into my thirties. I want to get out there like I did just a few years ago.”

“There is nothing wrong with aging my boy. It’s scary for us all but we aren’t stopping the clock any time soon.”

“I don’t want to stop the clock. I just want to feel confident in my body again.”

He stroked his beard and thought for a moment, “Now that is maybe something I can work with.” The rest of the visit was boring. But by the time I left his office, I had a pack vitamin supplements, a list of recommended exercises, and a follow up appointment in a few weeks.

Over the next couple days or so, I diligently took the supplements, followed the exercise routine, and logged my daily progress. It was strange, I didn’t really see a difference, but did start to feel a bit better. The biggest change I think I felt though was a kind of hormonal rebalance. I think doc mentioned it. My sleep was slowly becoming more regular, mood swings improved, and my flexibility was improving as I followed my exercise routine. However, I think it was also starting to create a fixation. I would just need to see my progress, check if I was improving. Whenever I got a small chance I would just stare at myself and focus on my curves. Were they any smaller?

I mentioned it to Dr. Webb at our next meeting. He laughed it off, said it was nothing unusual. But he did send me home with some meditation files to help me relax and center my mind. Help me let go of my worries and all that. And I will confirm they were effective. I popped on the first tape that night, listening to breathing exercises and ambient white noise. Woke up an hour later feeling refreshed. I don’t think I thought about my body much that night. In fact, I hardly thought about anything. My mind felt so clear.

It continued like that for a week I think. To be honest, the days started blurring together a bit. The routine was really sinking in, abs became an almost unconscious part of my day. At some point though, I don’t know when, I did start to notice a change as I would finish the tapes. I would always come to hard as wood. My appetite for sex was off the charts, quickly becoming a nuisance to take care of myself, several times a day. I even had to take a break at work one day. That is, until one day I saw myself in the mirror.

I was getting ready for the day, and suddenly something in me shifted. I stopped pulling down my tee and stared at myself in the mirror.

Damn, had I always been this hot?

Something about the way my jeans hugged into my sides and the thick matted carpet stretching across my stomach felt new and exciting. My mind said it should have felt off, but staring at my gut and feeling its weight ripple as I rubbed it up and down, I was entranced.

‘I felt big, strong, and masculine’, a voice echoed in mind, and I couldn’t agree more. Instantly my plans for the day were shot. I needed to get out there and find someone to share this body with. I couldn’t keep it all to myself. I popped my top off and went on the prowl for a piece of ass to demolish. A few quick photos and I had some nameless twink on his way over for an afternoon delight. Within moments of his arrival, I felt a shift in energy between us. I was used to a kind of back and forth, pull and push as people met and flirted. This was all pull. It started slowly, as he sat next to me on the couch. Then, he placed his hand on my thigh and gently rubbed. I was soon no longer talking to him, I was giving him commands:

“Scoot closer to me.” He scooted.

“Rub my belly a bit, don’t be shy.” He hesitated for just a moment before gliding his hand over my furry belly.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” He nodded limply. He was fixated on other things

‘A man gets what he wants,’ rang the voice in my head. And my patience was running thin.

The commands flowed from my mouth quickly:

“Take off my shirt”

“Take off your shirt”

“Lay on me a bit”

“Don’t mind the smell, I’m wrapping my arm around you.”

He quickly followed commands, even started taking huffs of my musky pits as he curled into my arms. I didn’t tell him to do that yet, but I felt so in control as this man was getting hard practically in my lap. It was time.

“Pull out my cock.”

“Put your head right there.”

“Open wide.”

“Suck, boy.”

It was just so easy to get him to comply. He was like putty in my hands. He just bent to my authority as I guided his willing throat, mouth, and tongue through the best blow job of my life. By the time I was ready to move on, a damp spot had formed through his shorts at the tip of his throbbing cock. It bobbed in the air a bit as I turned him around and pulled down his shorts. I took a moment to press myself against him, let him feel the power of my body.

“Bend over.” And he went down on all fours.

By the time my next appointment came up, I already had a small selection of boys willing to come over when I needed them. They were so small, I was almost worried I would break them in half. But it felt so freeing to discover this side of myself. Nothing could beat a twink sitting on my dick, begging for me to cum in him. I reported back to the Doc that I didn’t think I needed his services anymore. He said that he couldn’t agree more, and that even he was shocked at how much progress I made in such a short period of time.

“Now would you kindly put your shorts back on? They did not need to come off for this examination.”

“No,” I replied, “gotta take care of some business first. You want to show me that cute ass of yours.”

“I don’t think so, I…”

“Please doctor, with a body like this? I’m confident you’ll find your work satisfying.”

#hypnosis #transformation #male transformation #fml #reality change #bear tf

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marie-swriting · 3 months ago

Text

Normal - Bucky Barnes

Marvel Masterlist

Summary : Following his therapist recommendation, Bucky decides to go to the library where books aren't the only things that interest him.

Warnings : this is just me romanticizing my job lmao, TFATWS!Bucky Barnes, a bit of angst, happy ending, mention of Bucky's traumas and nightmares, Raynor being a bad therapist, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first languaga, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 4.6k

French version

Sitting on therapist Christina Raynor’s uncomfortable couch, Bucky’s gloved hands are intertwined and rest on his legs. He keeps shifting position, unease like he always is at every therapy session.

It’s a waste of time, that's what he keeps telling himself. He listens to his therapist repeating the same three damn rules and taking her notebook everytime he finally dares to open his mouth. He’s about to scream in frustration, he can feel it. If it was up to him, he would have stopped coming a long time ago.

“Do you ever leave your apartment?” Raynor asks, haughty.

“I come here every week, don’t I? And I go to the restaurant once a week,” Bucky replies, defensive.

“Alone, I imagine.”

“No with someone.”

“Miracles do happen!” she exclaims, ironic. “What else do you do?”

At her question, Bucky stays silent, staring at her. Raynor rolls her eyes and sighs.

“James, if you stay at home brooding, you’re not going to move on. You have to do normal things.”

“I haven’t known ‘normal’ for ninety years now, Doc.”

“You have to go out, have a hobby, see people, answer to Sam when he calls you, for example. Let people in. Believe it or not but not everyone wants to attack you.”

“Weirdly enough I always feel like this, I mean between the brainwashing, running away from the government and Thanos who made me lose another five years of my life, I don’t know why it’s the case,” he retorts before her therapist takes her notebook and starts writing. “Why do you do the notebook thing again? I said nothing wrong.”

“We’re done for today,” Raynor says, putting her pen down. “Do what I said, find yourself a hobby.”

To answer, Bucky sighs loudly which Raynor writes in her blasted notebook. Without glancing at her, Bucky stands up from the couch, just as grumpy as when he arrived, if not more.

On the way to his apartment devoid of any warmth, Bucky thinks back to what his therapist told him. A hobby? What an idea! He hasn’t had a hobby for so long that he doesn’t even know what he liked to do back in the forties, besides keeping Steve out of trouble. He searches for a pastime the whole night yet nothing seems appealing. At this rate, he’ll end up improvising when she’ll ask him about what he did, it’ll be easier.

As everytime Bucky closes his eyes, he wakes up with a start, even more exhausted than he was before falling asleep. Only the noise and the light coming for the T.V. remind him he’s at home and not in one of his countless nightmares. He has everything around him to feel safe and yet, his brain is still in fight or flight mode.

With difficulty, he stands from the ground and walks to the bathroom. In the room, he splashes water on his face and takes a moment to breathe. Once his breathing is calmer, Bucky goes back to the living room and sits on his makeshift bed on the floor. His eyes are set on the T.V. as he tries to distract himself, though his brain takes over and thinks a million thoughts at the same time. Bucky can’t keep track of all of them, though he’s used to it by now. He does the exercises Raynor taught him, it’s one of the few useful things he’s learned from therapy.

Bucky reminisces about Steve and the way he had managed to adapt to the future. Instinctively, Bucky’s eyes go to his jacket near the door where Steve’s notebook is. Although he uses it for a different purpose, Bucky tells himself maybe he should do like Steve and try to catch up with all the culture he’s missed. Before the war, he loved reading, maybe this could be his hobby again? Reading. But how can he do it? He doesn’t know what books have come out in the past decades and besides, reading won’t make him more social. He has to find a spot where he can read and meet people. Suddenly, he remembers the day his mother had made him and his sisters library cards in the neighbourhood library. He can still picture the way the place was arranged which reassures him — every memory he has in mind is a victory. The library seems obvious now, he has to go there, that might help him and Raynor will finally get off his back.

The next day, Bucky walks to the nearest library. Reluctantly, he enters the building. He just has the time to walk through the door when he hears your voice greeting him. Bucky nervously smiles before walking closer to you.

“May I help you, Sir?” you ask with a warming smile.

“Yes, I’d like to make a library card, please.”

“Sure, do you know how our library works?”

Considering last time he ever set foot in a library everything was done by hand, it’s as if Bucky knew nothing about it so he shakes his head.

“Not really.”

“First thing first, the card is free for every New York resident and to make the card, I’ll only need an ID and a proof of address. You can borrow fifty items at once and the loan lasts three weeks, except for magazines, it’s only one. If needed, you can renew your loan on the website, the app or you can ask us to do it. If you’re fourteen days late, you’ll be charged. You can also put items on hold in case they’re not available at a given moment and you’ll have seven days to come pick them up. Do you have any questions?” you question and Bucky needs a second to take in everything you said. “I know it’s a lot of information at once so don’t hesitate if you need any clarification.”

“I think I got it.”

“Perfect,” you say while he hands you the documents you need. “Thank you.”

On your computer, you start creating his file. You write down his full name first then you ask him if he has a preferred name he’d like to be included in his file to which he tells you his nickname. After hearing his answer, you can’t help but think these pieces of information sound familiar. You don’t know where you heard them yet his name and face aren’t unknown to you. You keep completing the information and as soon as you have to write down his birth date, everything makes sense. People born in 1917 and who look like your age aren’t something you see on a daily basis. You understand he’s Captain America’s best friend, you vaguely remember your history class about World War Two. However, even if you’re taken aback by the identity of the man in front of you, you don’t show anything so as to not make him uncomfortable.

Once you’re done, you hand him his library card with a big smile. Bucky’s right gloved hand brushes past yours and he quickly puts the card in his back pocket.

“Would you like me to give you a tour?” you propose.

“You probably have better things to do,” Bucky replies, shifting from one foot to the other.

“That’s what I’m here for, I don’t mind at all.”

Bucky is still hesitating, yet the minute he glances on his left and sees the size of the place, he feels overwhelmed. He’s about to refuse when he remembers he has to learn how to have an ordinary life again and being social is a part of it.

“If it’s not too much, then I’d love to, please.”

“Follow me.”

You leave your chair and stand in front of Bucky, enthusiasm written all over your face, you start talking about the first shelves in front of you and then walk through the library as if it was your home. Although Bucky struggles retaining what every corner is about, he has to admit he loves seeing your radiant face while you’re talking.

As opposed to him, you’re full of life and your passion for your work can be felt a thousand miles away; he listens to your every word, completely captivated by your voice. Once you’ve shown him the most important places, you turn to him.

“That’s it! Are you searching for something in particular? Or do you want to wander on your own?”

“Well, actually, I was told Tolkien published several books after The Hobbit and I would love to read them,” he says, scratching behind his neck.

“I’m going to show you where his books are,” you inform, walking toward the correct shelf. “So, I recommend you read The Lord Of The Rings trilogy which goes hand in hand with The Hobbit. The first book is this one, The Fellowship Of The Ring,” you explain, taking the item out. “The second must be currently unavailable but if you want, we can put it on hold for you or you can do it on the app at home.”

“I haven’t read in a long time, I don’t know how long it’ll take me to read. I think I’m just going to focus on this one first and I’ll see later.”

“As you wish,” you affirm, giving him the book.

This time, Bucky is careful not to brush your fingers, still struggling to feel comfortable with people touching him.

“I’m going to leave you alone now, you’ll probably want to look around for next time. When you’re done, come to me or one of my colleagues for the loan. Once again, if you have any question, don’t hesitate,” you finish.

“Thanks, for everything.”

“Don’t mention it. Enjoy your book.”

You give him one last smile before turning around and you go back to your desk. Bucky watches you leave, enthralled by your every movement. The minute you’re out of his sight, he quickly shakes his head and gazes at the books in front of him, searching for something else interesting to read for later.

Surprisingly, Bucky reads Tolkien’s novel in less than a week. He thought he’d need more time to get back to reading and Bucky can’t deny he’s pleased to see he fall back to one of his habits easily.

During his therapy session, Bucky talks about his trip to the library with a smug smile when Raynor starts to imply he surely didn’t listen to her. She has her eyes wide open before asking him about his outing. Without any surprise, Bucky goes straight to the point. He doesn't even mention you, the beautiful librarian who has slowly found his way into his mind.

At the end of his session, Bucky doesn’t go home right away, wanting to give back the book. He expects to see you, sitting behind the computer with a welcoming smile on your face, however it’s a woman in her fifties who greets him. Your colleague might be nice, Bucky would have preferred to see your face and as surprising as it may seem, he would have loved to tell you about his reading. Unfortunately for him, besides not seeing you, the last two Lord Of The Rings books aren’t available so he simply puts them on hold thanks to your colleague before going home, empty-handed.

As soon as Bucky gets the notification the books have arrived, he doesn’t waste a second before leaving his apartment. He can’t wait to keep reading, the last two weeks went by slowly.

By the time he arrives, he finds you at your usual spot behind your screen. You give him a big smile before going on the shelf behind you where all the items on hold are — when you saw the two books were for Bucky, you hoped to be here when he’d get them. Bucky doesn’t even have to show you his library card that you’re already doing the loan.

“I have to admit, I was disappointed to see the first book back, I was hoping to have your opinion on it when you were done,” you inform.

“Well, just like the first time I read Tolkien, he knows how to keep me on tenterhooks. Your recommendation was perfect,” Bucky answers, happy to know you’re curious to know what he thinks.

“The Lord Of The Rings is always a safe choice. So you want to read the last two books in a row?” you question, referencing the novel you still have in hand.

“Yeah, I have a lot of free time, so better to make the most of it.”

“You’re absolutely right. Here you go,” you add, giving them to him.

This time, Bucky doesn’t stop your hands from touching his, he even lingers for a second before taking the novels out of your hands, making this moment last which you don’t seem to mind. No matter if he can’t feel the softness of your skin through his gloves, he appreciates this closeness.

“I’d love to read them for the first time again,” you exclaim with nostalgia.

“Are they your favorite books?”

“They’re my childhood so yeah, they are. Everytime I read them, I just want to live an adventure just like them.”

“I get it,” Bucky genuinely smiles before looking at the clock behind you. “I have to go.”

“Oh, sure. Enjoy your books.”

“Thank you.”

Bucky awkwardly smiles one last time before leaving the place, his two books in his hands. Bucky is happy he saw you.

Even though your conversations don’t last, when he talks to you, he feels normal. With you, he’s just another person going to the library, not the ex-soldier turned into a weapon against his will. You bring him a sense of normalcy he never thought he could have and a part of him doesn’t know how to react to this.

Bucky hadn’t read this much in a long time. First of all, because he absolutely wanted to finish The Lord Of The Rings, but also because he wanted an excuse to go back to the library.

That day, Bucky has to go to therapy first. As always, he doesn’t feel like Raynor is helping him that much. Other than telling about the rules and making him feel guilty for not moving on, she doesn’t say anything new. Even telling her he’s making an effort by seeing people at the library isn’t enough for her anymore. She affirms he should go somewhere where he could exchange with people like a book club. No matter what he does, it’s never enough.

Consequently, he goes to your workplace, irritated. He keeps brooding at every step he takes, telling himself everything he wishes to say if this therapy had no consequence on his future. His annoyance increases the second he doesn’t see you at your desk. Maybe you took the day off? Or maybe you’re working in the backroom today? No matter the reason, your absence ruins his day.

At that moment, he realises your presence might be more important to him than he previously thought. His mood definitively depends on if he sees you or not. He finds himself pathetic. After all, you’re only friendly because it’s your job to be nice to the people who come talking to you. He’s not your friend or your acquaintance, he’s just another person coming to the library among others. Besides, even if you were friends, who says you’d be as attached to him as he is to you? You have a normal life, you have better things to do rather than hanging out with someone as broken as him. Bucky can’t even open up to his therapist so he doesn’t deserve your attention and he wouldn’t want it anyway. Bucky thinks he doesn’t deserve someone who cares about him and he wouldn’t want to haul them to the fight he always finds himself dragged into. You’re too full of joy to see only one percent of the horrors he has witnessed.

Bucky loudly sighs before walking toward the novels sections. There, he lazily searches for a title that could intrigue him. Though, nothing catches his eye. He’s too focused on his irritation and his self-deprecation to be interested in something else. Bucky keeps wandering until he hears a voice coming from behind him.

“Good afternoon, Sergeant Barnes. How are you today?”

“Oh, hi,” Bucky states, turning to you, his bad mood leaving his body in an instant. “No need to call me Sergeant, Bucky is enough. I mean, if you don’t mind. Sorry, it probably was inappropriate what I just said,” he adds, embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, Bucky,” you reassure him. “So,” you resume, enthusiastically, “you’re done with Tolkien?”

“Yeah, I finished it last night.”

Bucky nonchalantly gives you this information; however, he didn’t finish the book because he couldn’t put it down, but because his nightmares prevented him from feeling safe enough to sleep. Notwithstanding, you don’t need to know that. After all, you’re only the librarian.

“You’re searching for something new to read?”

“Yeah, but I have no idea what.”

“Oh, I can help, if you want to. And don’t say you don’t want to bother me, it’s literally my job.”

“I’d love your help, please,” Bucky accepts with joy.

“Do you want to keep reading Fantasy or do you want to try a new genre?”

“I’d like to try a new genre. Maybe Science-Fiction? I have always been fascinated by technologie we would develop in the future. I mean, I’m so fascinated by it it became my life,” he darkly jokes, before becoming serious again. “Anyway, what do you suggest?”

“I think you should start with the basics. I suppose you’ve already read some H. G. Wells?”

“Yes, I read some of his books but there were others I kept telling myself I should read and never did.”

“Like any self-respecting reader would. I recommend you should try The Dream or The First Men In The Moon.”

At the same time you say the titles, you take the books out of the shelves. You hand them to Bucky and he’s disappointed once he realizes your hand didn’t touch his like last time. However, he quickly focuses back on what you’re saying, not wanting to be more unsettled.

“I haven’t read them in quite some time but I remember I loved them! I couldn’t stop talking to my loved ones about these books for months. By the end, my poor mom was tired of me. If you want to discover a whole new author, I suggest Stephen King and his novel Firestarter. King is one of the most famous authors nowadays and he has a long list of books. He writes a lot of horror so if you want to try this genre, you can look for him.”

“I’m going to start with Wells, I know him so it’ll be easier, I think,” he says, showing the books he’s holding.

“We have other books of his that aren’t currently available, don’t hesitate to tell me if you want to put them on hold.”

“I will, thanks a lot.”

“Don’t mention it,” you exclaim with enthusiasm.

“Y/N, can you come?” one of your colleagues asks. “I need your help for tomorrow's activity.”

“I’m coming,” you reply to her before turning to Bucky. “You’ll tell me what you think about it, will you?”

“I will,” he affirms, feeling his heart missing a heartbeat in his chest, realizing you’re genuinely interested in his opinion.

“Enjoy your book.”

On those words, you walk away from Bucky before listening to your colleague. Bucky gazes at the books you suggested and he reads the back covers. Convinced by The Dream, Bucky puts the other one down before borrowing the novel.

In his apartment, Bucky thinks back to your interaction. He could have listened to you talk about books for hours. Though, the more he thinks about you, the less he’s sure it’s a good idea to be this close to you. Despite yourself, you bring him comfort and he keeps thinking he doesn’t deserve it. His demons are too present to let the light come in his life. Bucky keeps overthinking and he ends up closing himself off.

The small effort he did when he created his library card is shattered. He still has a lot of improvement to do before getting closer to you. He began having feelings for you quicker than he thought and he has to stop this. As a consequence, Bucky decides to not see you again and for this, he tells himself that after this book, he will bring it back the day he knows you’re not here and he won’t step foot on your workplace ever again. He’s better off alone.

Nevertheless, Bucky’s isolation was interrupted by the arrival of John Walker as the new Captain America and the Flag Smashers. With Sam and after a few snags in this new collaboration, they found a way to calm down the tensions and Bucky finally made peace with his past.

Now, he accepts he has the right to comfort, to be okay. He hates to admit it nonetheless his therapist was right, opening up to people he trusts is beneficial and he’s lucky that, despite his grumpiness, Sam didn’t give up on him.

Bucky is in Louisiana at the Wilsons' residence. He manages to meet other people and his smiles are more genuine than ever.

One afternoon, while Sam and Bucky are fixing the Wilsons’ boat, Bucky brings up his outing at the library and your name comes up several times which instantly grabs Sam’s attention. With a malicious look, Sam mentions the topic again.

“Looks like you get along well with the librarian.”

“She’s nice. She has good recommendations and she’s full of energy. Thanks to her, I felt like I was having an ordinary life once more,” Bucky confesses with a loving gaze.

“‘Was’? What do you mean?” Sam asks, frowning.

“I haven’t gone to the library in a long time.”

“Why?”

“In case you forgot, we were a bit busy.”

“Oh, I know, but I feel like there’s something else.”

“Maybe…,” Bucky starts, avoiding his eyes, “Maybe I closed myself off when I realised I started having feelings for her.”

Following his confession, Sam stops what he’s doing and stares at his friend, desperate. Bucky sighs before resuming.

“Look, it’s not that easy, okay? Sure, I’m feeling better now, but the fact is, I know a part of the Winter Soldier will never leave me. I still have my nightmares. I can’t have someone else drag into all of this,” he admits, his heart tightening in his chest. “I don’t even know why I’m making such a big deal out of it. She probably wasn’t interested in me like I am.”

“You’ll never know if you keep ignoring her.”

“I’m not ignoring her.”

“It sure looks like it,” Sam retorts with a pointed look. “You should talk to her. With what you told me, I can tell she has a good influence on you and besides, Mr-With-A-Staring-Problem has heart eyes for her.”

“I don’t need you to throw me into another woman’s arms so I won’t flirt with your sister,” Bucky jokes, hoping to aggravate Sam so he’ll change the subject.

“You better not flirt with her, period. Anyway, that’s not my point, you clearly have feelings for her and maybe it’s time you date someone and someone who has a normal life might not be such a bad idea,” Sam states and Bucky ponders his words for a second.

“I don’t know, Sam.”

“Ask her out. What do you gotta lose? She might be a good friend, if it doesn’t work romantically.”

“The last date I went to wasn’t my biggest achievement,” he reminds him.

“You weren’t in the right state of mind. You should try. At least, like this, I’ll be sure you won’t get close to Sarah.”

“I wanted to ask her something by the way,” Bucky adds, pretending to walk away.

“Fix the boat and shut up.”

Bucky laughs at Sam’s desperation and focuses back on his work. While they’re fixing the boat, Bucky thinks back about what Sam told him. He’s not going to lie, he thought about seeing you again, however the shame of coming back after being away for so long holds him back. The last time he saw you, you were so happy, telling he’d have to tell you what he thought of Wells’ novel and yet, he avoided you like the plague. He doesn’t really know how to come back. You won’t chase him away from the library, he hasn’t violated any rules, but surely, you’ll be cold with him. He ruined everything.

However, Bucky ends up being convinced by Sam’s words and decides to go back to the bibliotheca the day he comes back from Louisiana. He thinks about what he’s going to tell you nevertheless nothing seems good enough so he decides he’ll improvise.

As soon as he’s arrived, he sees your colleagues at the front desk; he greets them and then walks around the shelves, hoping to find you which he does. From afar, he sees you putting kitchen books on a shelf. He takes a deep breath and walks to you. Once he’s near you, he clears his throat to catch your attention which startles you and you turn around. With just one glance, you discover Bucky without his jacket and his gloves for the first time, allowing you to see his vibranium arm.

“Oh, hi.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay. It’s been a long time! You didn’t even tell me what you thought about The Dream,” you say with a disappointed face.

“I loved it. I forgot how much I enjoy H. G. Wells’ books.”

“I’m glad to hear this. Do you want me to recommend something else?” you ask, excited.

“Yes, please.”

“Another genre or still Sci-Fi?”

“I thought about trying romance,” Bucky states, looking you straight in the eyes.

“Oh, well, we have a bit of everything,” you start, nervous, ignoring if you should read in between the lines. “Stories with sad endings, happy ones, relationships full of tensions and a lot of plot twists.”

“I was thinking about a story where the guy desperately tries to find a way to ask the beautiful librarian out,” Bucky adds with a charming smile.

“That’s a very specific story,” you reply with butterflies in your stomach.

“What do you say? Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“I’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” you confess, taking a step forward.

“Really?”

“Really. And I have to admit when I didn’t see you again, I thought maybe I had scared you off because I was too clingy. I thought you were ignoring me.”

“I was ignoring you, but not for this reason,” Bucky admits, looking down for an instant. “I had a lot of things to handle and I didn’t know how to act around you. You made me feel normal and it scared me. It’s better now, I’m better now, though some days are still harder than others. I think I’m on the right path.”

“Do you feel ready to let me in your life now?” you ask, wanting to make sure it’s what he wants.

“I am, yes.”

“Then, we can meet Saturday afternoon at the café down the block. They have the best pastries in the neighborhood.”

“Works for me,” Bucky confirms with a radiant grin. “In the meantime, do you have any book recommendations? I need something to talk to for a date I have at the end of the week.”

“I have just the novel you need.”

Marvel Masterlist

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 4 days ago

Note

Can you point me towards any resources that can help troubleshoot having a "drop" after sex?

I am usually the one topping and we have been somewhat exploring power dynamics/humiliation/mild pain(I'm the one inflicting, or holding more power but at the same time I feel like I'm serving him?). Anyway, after he's done I cuddle him and say sweet things and clean him up and get food or water if we need, and often he sleeps a little while he comes back to himself.

The problem seems to be that I start getting strong negative feelings, feeling like he doesn't want me, that I want him to hurt me, feeling like I can't ask for help. And in a way I put in him a vulnerable state and don't want to put him in a state of dysregulation to help me emotionally process. Usually I end up crying and I feel a little less intense and can do some breathing exercises.

When I know we will be having more intense sex I try into make sure we are in good headspaces and have eaten(emotional dysregulation when hungry). We have been sleeping well, but maybe not enough so that possibly contributed to there being intense feelings? I also think I started my menses that night but I'm unsure if I just started bleeding due to the stress of the situation.

Thank you for any resources you can point me to. I checked the FAQ and among the kink book recs I wasn't sure which would be most helpful to read for this situation.

I mean I think any halfway decent resource you consult is going to tell you first and foremost that this is something you need to be discussing with your partner. if you need support and reassurance after sex that is very much something that he needs to know so that the two of you can make sure that both of your needs are being met. both of your emotional needs matter, not only his. frankly I'd recommend against engaging in this kind of sex until you've talked this through with him, because every time you go without the care you need you're hurting yourself and your relationship.

#sex edventures 2025

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novascharms · 6 months ago

Text

teach please me — tutor!reader x soccer player!rafe

reader's life is meticulously planned, from high school to becoming president of the country—she knows exactly where she's headed and every step to get there. but her airtight plan hits a snag when the principal ropes her into tutoring rafe cameron, the school’s star soccer player, who’s failing algebra and at risk of being benched next season. the team needs him on the field, and reader needs the principal’s glowing recommendation to secure her spot at her dream school. balancing her ambitious goals with rafe’s chaotic charm might just throw her perfectly crafted plan off track.

word count — 2.4 chapter index — prev. chap. — next chap. masterlist

five

sunday, january 26th you felt a little like a secret agent, watching rafe chew on his pen as he mulled over exercises. not because you were secretly staring at him—no, quite the opposite, actually. you had strategically angled your laptop screen away as you typed "how to get rid of a crush" into google. the first tip that popped up? give it time.

you glanced at him again. oversized hoodie, messy hair, that now-familiar scent that clung to your sheets after every tutoring session. the things that had unsettled you about him three weeks ago now felt… comforting. rafe frowned at his notebook, licking his lips briefly, and your breath caught. god, that stirred something in you. you turned back to your screen, scolding yourself.

you reformulated your search: how to get rid of a crush fast

you scrolled through endless advice. some suggestions were sensible—don’t stalk them on socials, sad playlists, write your feelings out in a journal. others seemed extreme—therapy, fuck someone else, dye your hair blue.

the ideas were unendless but the main idea was ever-present: distance yourself completely.

that was easier said than done. rafe was sitting right in front of you, and he’d be here twice a week for the next four months. thirty-two hours of his laugh replaying in your mind. 1,920 minutes of his scent lingering after he lounged on your bed. 115,200 seconds of him.

you could always distance yourself emotionally? not let yourself feel anything. you weren't sure you knew how to compartmentalize that well but maybe it was worth the try.

your thoughts are interrupted by a quiet groan rafe is letting out and you peep up from your laptop screen to look at him. he's texting on his phone for a moment before he tosses it onto his desk. you notice some tenseness in his shoulders, only because you're always staring at his shoulders.

actually, you take that back. you're just always staring at him; at his shoulders, his arms, his eyes, his hands. it was becoming a problem.

"hey," he said suddenly, glancing up, "you’re going to the retirement home after this, right?"

you press your lips together, hiding your face behind your laptop screen again. "yes." you were silently hoping he'd offer to drive you again because your dad wasn't home and no one could stay with your siblings if your mom were to drop you off. you were going to bike but if he offered? it was a ride and a couple more minutes with him which was a total win-win.

"can i come?"

"can you come?"

"yeah, can i come with you."

"you want to come with me?"

he didn’t answer right away—too busy crossing the room and closing your laptop. "yeah, that’s what i just said. twice," he teased, leaning in a little too close. you have this terrible need to just dig your head in his chest so you roll to the other side of the bed and place your laptop on your nightstand. "i didn't know you had any interest in volunteer work."

he flopped onto your bed like he belonged there, arms spread wide and you stand up, dead set on not getting too close. you had to compartmentalize these feelings.

"someone told me it’s good to have… diverse interests." you know it doesn't mean anything that he remembers that. he's watching you pretend to tidy up your room and you feel exposed. you always feel so naked when he's looking at you. something is doing backflips in your stomach and you wonder if you're falling ill.

his phone is still buzzing every couple of minutes, "sounds like you've got some people who really want to hang out with you." you look back at him and he's still staring at you, not even glacncing at his phone once.

"yea." he nods, "but i don't wanna hang out with them. i wanna hang out with you."

and what were you meant to do with that? how were you supposed to compartmentalize your feelings when he said things like that? things that made you want to shove your head in a pillow and squeal like all those girls in romantic movies.

"why don't you want to hang out with them?" you sat on the edge of your bed, about as far as you could sit from him.

he shrugged, eyes drifting to your ceiling, "i love my friends, but..i think sometimes i feel like i got something to prove around them. i have to act a certain way, be a certain way, not completely different but just a little tweaked." he says and it's the most honest thing you'd heard someone say in a while.

"i don't know. shit's just getting repetititve too. pre-game, houseparty, afterparty, another houseparty, another party, a beach party, a bonfire, a boat party, and it just keeps going, every weekend. it's not that i never wanna party again..i just wanna do something else."

"well then i don't think you should come." you say and he looks at you, this genuine, adorable face torn between hurt and confusion. your heart swells and you feel bad for messing with him.

a smile tugs at your lips. "because the elderly? they party hard."

you grin when he laughs because it sounds music to your ears.

"do they?" he asks, grinning now and you feign absolute shock, hand on your chest. "oh, yeah. there's this older lady, denise. she's freaking wild. last year she snuck out of the retirement home for her 85th birthday and they found her.." you paused for dramatic effect, "in a bar, crashing a bachelor party."

rafe’s laughter turned into full-blown cackling, his head thrown back as he shook it in disbelief. "okay, that might actually be my dream bachelor party. an 85-year-old woman just going wild with us."

"she’ll love you," you said, motioning for him to follow. "c’mon."

the drive to the retirement home was too short for your liking. since rafe was easy to like, easy to admire and easy to crush on, naturally, he had to be easy to talk too as well. he couldn't even try to be a little less perfect.

he leaned back in the passenger seat, fiddling with the radio until he found a station he liked. "so, why the retirement home? or 'the oldies' as y/s/n says." rafe chuckled lightly and you rolled your eyes at how you always had to correct her and tell her 'elderly' was the more approriate word. she never listened.

you glanced at him, his profile sharp against the golden light of the setting sun. “why not? someone has to show up for them.”

he raised a brow, clearly unsatisfied with your answer. “you could’ve done a million other things. animal shelters, tutoring kids, beach cleanups…”

“are you suggesting i made the wrong choice?” you teased, your lips quirking up.

he smirked. “no, i'm suggesting it’s an interesting choice."

you got what he meant. older people didn't always have the best repution because on one side you had the adorable grandpa's that wore cute hats and grandma's that always gave you cookies but on the other you have old people who despise anyone younger than them and are violently against change in any capacity.

the retirement home had some "bad apples" but these people genuinely just wanted company and most importantly, someone that would stay. these people walked through the doors of the retirement home knowing they'd be leaving in a body bag. that was a scary thought.

"at first i wanted to do an animal shelter but..i saw no one signed up for the retirement home so i just did and yes, at first, they were a little rigid but it's only because they expected me to complete x amount of hours and then never come back. these people are often lonely and forgotten by the very children they raised.. i just show them that i never forget them."

he nods slowly like that side of it hadn't completely dawned on him until now. "i should call my grandma today." he says and you crack a smile and nod. "you should call your grandma today."

when you pulled into the parking lot, rafe hopped out before you could even unbuckle. he waited for you at the hood of the car, hands in his pockets, looking unfairly good in the soft evening light. “lead the way,” he said with a grin.

inside, the nurses greeted you warmly, their faces lighting up as soon as they saw you. “oh, there she is!” one of them, linda, said, pulling you into a quick hug. “and who’s this handsome young man?”

“this is rafe,” you said, a little embarrassed. “he wanted to come help out.”

rafe extended a hand, all charm. "nice to meet you."

linda shook his hand, her smile widening. "well, aren't you sweet? and so polite. don't let the residents steal him from you," she joked, winking at you.

“i'll do my best,” you said dryly, shooting rafe a look when he chuckled under his breath.

you sign your name on the sign up sheet before passing him the clipboard, "just my name?" he asks, pen already in hand and you nod.

the dining room was bustling as usual. tables were being set, and the residents were chatting amongst themselves. when you walked in, a chorus of greetings met you.

"there's my favorite girl!” mr. jensen called, waving you over.

“who’s the tall drink of water?” mrs. harris asked, her sharp eyes narrowing on rafe with interest.

you laughed, feeling a blush creep up your neck. "this is rafe. he's here to help out.”

"handsome and helpful,” mrs. harris said, patting the seat next to her. "sit down, honey. let me tell you about the time i met elvis.”

"i'd love to hear it,” rafe said, sliding into the chair with ease.

you watched him entertain mrs.harris and the women sitting around her with a smile before being caught staring by mr. jensen. "now, i know that look." he teased and you rolled your eyes shaking your head. you looped your arm around his and started walking him to his seat for dinner. "i don't know what look you're talking about." you turn your nose up and avoid his gaze. "you still think you can fool an 89 year old man, darling. that's why you keep losing every card game we play." he says and your eyes go wide, grin on your face. "hey! i totally let you win."

once you'd sat mr. jensen down, the nurses asked you and rafe to start distributing the food. "you've got quite the fanclub." you tease rafe whilst you're both putting on plastic gloves. mrs. harris and the other ladies are still watching rafe, grinning like little school girls at him.

he laughed, "i already understand why you come here. they are hilarious." he looks at you then, "you know doris tried to flirt with me and set me up with her granddaughter in the same breath?"

"i.." you're laughing, at a complete loss for words. "i have to say, i appreciate her hustle. if she can't have you, why not her granddaughter, you know?"

he hands you a tray with raised brows and a smile that makes your insides twist in a way that they really shouldn't.

you watched him as you helped set up plates and silverware. he was good with them—better than you’d expected. he listened to their stories, laughed at their jokes, and even let mrs. harris feed him a butterscotch candy. it was adorable, and it made your chest ache.

"you've got a keeper there,” one of the nurses whispered to you as you passed by.

"he’s not—” you started, but she just smiled knowingly and walked away.

as dinner started, you and rafe worked together to serve the food. the residents' curiosity about him didn't wane. they threw all sorts of questions at him—where he was from, what he did, if he was single.

"very single,” rafe said at one point, glancing at you with a smirk. your heart stopped for a beat, and you busied yourself adjusting a napkin to avoid his gaze.

mrs. cooper let out a delighted laugh, patting his arm affectionately. "not for long, i'm sure," she said. "a boy like you? charming, good-looking, and funny? they'll be lining up for you."

mrs. harris chimed in, wagging a finger at him. "but only if they're good enough! you deserve the best, dear."

"oh, you’re too kind," rafe replied, his grin widening. "but i think I’ve already found her. she’s sitting right next to me." he gestured dramatically to mrs. harris, whose laughter rang out, joined by her friends’ delighted giggles.

"oh, stop it, rafe!" mrs. harris said, playfully swatting at his arm. "you came about 65 years too late, my dear."

"lisa, you're breaking my heart," he said, clutching his chest theatrically, which only made the ladies laugh harder.

watching him interact with them was almost too much. the way he laughed at their jokes, let them tease him, even flirted back in a way that was sweet rather than condescending—it was all too much. he was charming and kind and so devastatingly attractive that you started to wonder if maybe, you weren’t imagining the way he looked at you.

when the chaos of dinner died down, you found yourself sitting next to rafe, curled up on those cozy recliners watching as the residents trickled back to their rooms. he leaned back in his chair, looking at you with a lazy grin. “this was fun."

"you made it fun. i can tell they really enjoyed you being here." you smiled small, "someone in particular." you added teasingly.

he chuckled, stretching his arms over the back of his chair. “tease me all you want. lisa and i have a bond. you're just jealous of my relationship with her."

"mm.." you nodded, bringing your knees to your chin with a smile on your face. "you're absolutely right, i am so jealous and i just want lisa all to myself." you play along.

he leaned in slightly, his voice softer now. “or maybe you just want me all to yourself."

your heart was racing again, and you cursed yourself for how easily he affected you. “you wish,” you said, trying to make it sound convincing.

"what? i'm not good enough for my future president?" he asked and you tilted your head, humming like you were actually thinking about it, like the answer could be anything else but of course you are.

"get a seven for algebra and then we can talk." you tell him and he chuckles, throwing his head back against the couch. "got yourself a deal, teach."

chapter index — prev. chap. — next chap. masterlist

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sttoru · 2 years ago

Note

hmmm what if gym sex with gym owner/instructor toji fushiguro. you know, they be fucking by machines and stuff 🫨🫨🫨

𝐒𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 . . . !

⟣ sypnosis. you thought it’d be just another day of you at the gym with your gym instructor, toji—though things were quick to escalate into a different kind of ‘workout’.

⟣ tags. gym instructor!toji fushiguro x female reader. exhibitionism, public, p in v unprotected, standing doggy ig, spanking, hair pulling, teasing, sprinkle of objectification / degradation, creampie, no to little aftercare, kinda pervert!toji as well. reader gets called ‘doll’.

⟣ note. yummyyumyummm.. this made me think of this ask t sent me & this fanart i need him so bad t_t not proofread btw. !

you were a newbie to the gym—your usual workouts consisting of the most simple sets; jumping jacks, burpees, crunches, squats, planks and push ups. an acquaintance of yours attends the same sports club and recommended you a certain gym instructor who works there most of the time.

his name was toji and apparently was good enough at his job for many other gym attendees to hire him in. you did the same and had started a few sessions with him earlier that week. toji was patient and quick to give you the needed feedback and advice on your workouts — a nice guy.

though, he did seem a bit intimidating, especially due to the fact that he was extremely bulky. your stomach did a flip once you first saw that dark-haired man.

the black tank top he wore almost every other day, his muscles that flex with each movement, the scent of his cologne you could smell whenever he got close and nonchalantly adjusted or corrected your form; that guy was more than simply attractive.

as your mind wandered and daydreamt about your gym instructor, your body was doing its needed squats. up and then down, inhale and exhale, tense and relax—you were on autopilot.

what you didn’t notice, due to the music blasting in your ears, was that toji had been wandering around the area. it was almost time for your own session with him where he’d do some cardio with you.

toji sipped on his water bottle, lazily approaching you from behind, your backside towards him. he looked around for a bit—this specific section of the gym was nearly empty at this hour of the day. except for you, him and. . . a random guy who was lifting weights in a far away corner.

toji’s eyes couldn’t help but flicker from your exposed shoulder blades to the curve of your ass whenever you squatted. it was very much intentional; not for the sake of checking on your squatting form, but more for the sake of his own needs.

it was like that almost every time he’s training with you—the gym instructor cannot resist the urges of subtly checking out that body of yours. more specifically, the curves of it. he could get a bit handsy when teaching you how to get the gist of a certain exercise.

you were a bit oblivious to this, because you thought that it was simply just toji doing his job. gym instructors were meant to help you along the way—instructing somebody and helping them get into the desired position by appropriately touching their body was part of that process. . . right?

you don’t know, but you also didn’t care. his touch on your thighs when he was correcting your form that other day, the way his big and veiny hands were gently holding your flesh; it was just way too appealing. even if he was doing his job, there was an undeniable attraction hanging between the two of you.

you couldn’t even count the many times where you ‘accidentally’ bumped into him at the gym just to hold a short conversation. toji’s eyes were everywhere—the sight of you out of breath, sweating whilst trying your best to look pretty when talking to him stirred his loins.

the dark-haired man knew you purposefully come and talk to him after each session. he knew that you always try to look confused in the gym when experimenting with a new machine just to catch his attention. toji knew all about your ‘innocent’ acts and yet he was falling for them. hard.

you were too good at that game of seduction and if it wasn’t for him risking the loss of his job, he’d have fucked you long ago. he’d have satisfied both your desires right at the gym with everyone seeing—he craved for a taste of you. he needed it. sooner or later.

so, toji took his chance. ‘it was now or never,’ he told himself as he approached you from behind. his presence was only sensed by you when his hands came in touch with your body.

one hand pressed onto your lower back slightly, the other on your upper thigh, fingertips digging onto the fat to help it slightly backwards, pushing your hips towards him—

“how many times do i have to tell ya, hm?” toji’s raspy voice whispers in your ear, his figure looming over yours making you feel caged between him and the treadmill you were facing whilst squatting, “arch your lower back just a tad bit more, push y’r hips back properly—mhm, jus’ like that. good, very good.”

you surprisingly do as told even whilst you were caught off guard by toji’s sudden appearance. your heart was beating out of your chest by the proximity of your bodies like this; your palms were getting sweaty. and not from your workout.

“y’re definitely gettin’ the hang of it.” your gym instructor comments, a faint hint of pride in his tone. he retracts his hands from your body, however not before teasingly letting his fingertips brush against the bottom of your ass, feeling up its shape in that single second of contact— “how’s your workout been today?”

you knew that touch was intentional. there’s no other explanation to the lingering stare on your ass as well. his eyes shamelessly took in your thighs and hips as if he wanted to be all over them, to touch them like he’d longed for so long.

“good. was about to take a break.” you reply. truth was, you weren’t. you only said so since toji was chatting with you at the moment.

there was an evident tension between you two—the way you took a sip from your water bottle whilst your pretty eyes were focused on toji’s ripped physique, your gaze that darted from his eyes to his lips, chest, lower body and back up. . . that game of seduction had gone on for way too long. toji had to have you. right here, right now.

that’s how you ended up clinging for dear life onto the treadmill in the corner of the building, your leggings and panties pushed down to your knees and toji behind you with his hands using your hips as leverage—his cock finally having a taste of your warm insides after all this time of fantasising about it during your lessons with him.

“fuck. . knew this pussy’d be fuckin’ tight—almost can’t move due to how much y’re squeezing me, doll.” the man’s rough voice spoke out whilst your wet folds were spread apart to fit his cock all the way in, his size massive to the point it almost hurt, “there you go, takin’ it so well.”

your walls clamped around his dick like you didn’t want him to ever move out of you—like this moment was all you had wanted from your encounters up until now. toji curses under his breath at the sight he’s finally seeing;

you trembling whilst he was balls deep inside of your greedy cunt that swallowed every single inch, even if it stung. what made it even better of an achievement was the fact that your ass was properly in his view now, fat jiggling with each press of his hips against it.

“hnngh—fuck me.. ah, please!” your stifled moans almost make toji’s eyes roll back. he loved those sounds of pure pleasure that escaped your lips—the ones which you couldn’t contain behind that hand clamped around your mouth.

it was risky after all; fucking in an open gym. you didn’t know if that one guy on the other side of the area had already left or not. you couldn’t see through all those machines and pillars obstructing your view. you just went with the logic that if you couldn’t see him, he couldn’t see you.

toji—being the absolute tease that he is—had seen your eyes wander across the section of the gym you were in. oh, he didn’t like it one bit that your attention was on anything other than him and his dick slamming into your sloppy pussy;

he stopped his movements and torturously slid his cock out of you until the head was all what was left inside, prodding into you every now and then like he was going to slam it back fully, only for nothing to occur. toji bit the inside of his cheek; rough hand landing hard on the left side of your ass, the other side getting its turn a second after you whimper.

the process repeats which makes your back arch deeply, hips instinctively moving back and then forwards—basically fucking yourself on his cock. toji liked that desperation in you. that’s what he wanted to gain out of his actions.

“hah—ya can push those hips back properly now, ay?” your gym instructor exhales through his nose, hand traveling from your ass to your hair, yanking that low ponytail of yours back. his sharp eyes scanned your backside as if you were a piece of meat, his hips grinding against your ass, kneading the flesh with his pelvis, “remember this when y’re squatting again—the position of your back like this, the slight arch—fuck.”

even in a predicament like this, toji used it to teach you about your form during your squats. not that you knew what that man was saying. you were too focused on the way he was slowly stroking his dick in your pussy, wanting the tip to reach the deepest parts.

“shiitt,” toji sighs before a noise—almost a low whistle—forms in the back of his throat. the pleasure kept building up inside of him and he knew that he could cum just by a bit of grinding against that plump flesh of your ass, his balls rubbing against the curves of it, “this body of yours ‘s gonna make me lose my mind, doll.”

but, toji didn’t want to end it with that. he was here to give you the pounding of your life—teach you another lesson which was unrelated to your workouts; the lesson of what happens if you try to seduce a man like him.

toji wastes no time and grabs your hips again, angling his own to hit your g-spot with each rough thrust once he resumes the movements. each press to that sweet area makes your legs shake, lips moving frantically, though only incoherent and slurred words leave your lips in quiet moans;

“nghh! toji, ‘s too good!” you whine, your own hand still clamped around your mouth to keep yourself quiet. you were always vocal during sex, but it was a bit risky to let yourself go in a public space like this, “mmph!”

though, with the fact that you were getting the pounding of your life right now, there was no denying the fact that it was impossible to stay fully quiet. a few lewd moans escape—toji tugging at your hair each time as a warning,

“sshh, don’t w’nna get me fired, do ya?” the man behind you grins. he isn’t even worrying in the slightest that this moment was probably getting caught on the cctv camera footage in the gym.

toji could easily get rid of those himself since he works at the gym and has some internal connections, but it’d make it all so difficult if somebody were to catch you in the act, “if ya keep quiet, we’ll do this more often, yeah?”

you shiver at that promise. you could already imagine all the times you can have toji to yourself in the future; how he’ll press you to a bench and fuck you—or maybe he’ll even take you in bathrooms. it was such a turn on. that’s all what was needed to shut you up in an instant;

“good girl.” that gruff voice murmurs once more, the pressure in your stomach builds, the coils forming threatening to snap any minute now for both of you. toji’s self control was hanging by a thread.

that same thread snapped in half the moment you let out a whiny and vulnerable whimper in the form of his name. with one hard thrust, toji presses his hips firmly against your ass, grunting as he makes sure to dump his load the furthest he could—the warmth of the sticky liquid filling your senses eventually stimulated you enough to reach your own climax.

“easy there, doll.” your gym instructor thrusts once, twice before pulling himself out of you, leaving the mixture of fluids leaking down by your legs. he huffs at the sight, taking it in for a couple seconds whilst kneading your ass between his fingers.

toji grabs a tissue he had somewhere in the pocket of his sweatpants and wipes his tip before tucking himself back in his boxers—pulling his pants up and readjusting his appearance like nothing ever happened.

toji puts the used napkin in your shivering hand and nods at you. you were a pretty thing whilst fucked out of your mind, that he could indeed confirm in a singular moment of eye contact.

he sighs and leaves you to fend for yourself as he starts to walk towards the stairs that lead to the third floor, probably to take care of something. you never know what he’s up to when he’s not in the gym—a mysterious man.

before the gym instructor vanishes, he does leave you a hushed message on his way to the staircase, head cocked to the side to look at you from his peripherals whilst he walks;

“clean y’rself up and continue with your work out. will be back in a few to check in on ya.”

#sttoru writes.#jjk smut #jjk x reader #toji x reader #toji smut #toji fushiguro smut #jjk x you #toji x you #toji fushiguro x reader

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hannieween · 1 year ago

Text

pushing and pulling | joshua hong

› pairings: joshua hong x female reader › genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) › aus: nba player joshua, playboy joshua, love affair › word count: 8k

this post is connected a nba joshua playboy request (you can find it in my page on the reqs tag)

› nsfw tags under the cut

› warnings: slight hurt/comfort, toxic vibes, reader is married, body worshipping, oral sex, pussy drunk shua, soft-dom joshua, oblivious pining, love making, unprotected p in v sex, lotus position, a bit of cockwarming, creampie, reader is on the pill, joshua is kind of a jerk but sweet in some way, pet names: baby (hers)

› big big thank you to @cvntrlseecvntrlvee who beta read this for me and helped me edit and with the more tricky aspects of joshua pouring his heart out to you ( > 〰 < )♡

› also thanks to @glowunderthemoon who brainstormed with me and recommended 100 ways by jackson for this chapter. i wanna kiss your genius brain

› disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

pushing and pulling

The elliptical beeped softly as Joshua forced it to a stop. He kept his breathing steady, but he couldn't ignore the impulsive need to wipe the sweat off his face.

He looked closely at his progress. Feeling content, he climbed down, wiped the machine and walked away to finally commence his general training.

The gym was particularly deserted. As expected from a Friday afternoon. Joshua had just finished warming up and moved to do some bench presses. It was his usual Friday routine, except he mostly went during the mornings.

But last night he couldn't sleep. And he didn't have any plans for the rest of the night, so, the gym it is.

He kept the music in his earphones at a high volume to drown out the music blasting from the gym's fancy sound system and the lonely goers who were working on the other weight machines.

Why do they have to let the weights drop that loud? So noisy.

He kept pushing the bar up and then slowly pressed it back down with a controlled motion, letting strained exhales escape his mouth. It was one of his favorite exercises to do. He was lying back on the bench, and staring at the ceiling, listening to music—he could reflect like this.

Until he sat back up on the bench, having finished his rep, and stood up to look for something to clean up the bench after him. That was when he caught sight of you, in the far distance of the gym. You were using a treadmill, looking straight at your reflection in the mirror up front.

Maybe you just got to the gym, he thought from the look of you. Your well-kept hair was braided, there was no sweat on your face from what he could see and well, he hadn't seen you until now.

Joshua kept doing his exercises as normal. But he couldn't shake off the tight knot that had parked in his stomach since he saw you there.

In fact, every time you crossed his mind he felt that way. And he thought of you constantly. He replayed over and over in his head the memory of the events that led you to the first time you kissed him.

It had been a rushed, heated kiss—but everything that happened before it took its time. At every chance, when you crossed paths, you'd sent him glances that, at first, obfuscated him a little.

Until one night, at a private event. After many suggestive looks exchanged between Joshua and you, in a perfect moment, your husband was out of the way and you got Joshua to follow you down a fire exit. One thing led to the other.

He didn't know you went to the same gym as him—though it could be something he expected since everyone on his team used it. It was quite the exclusive place.

He kept checking on you every now and then. It seemed that you were just running because half an hour passed and you hadn’t left your spot.

That's how he slowly gathered the little details about you, the bags under your eyes, the sad look on the features of your face.

So he kept to his regular training—working his lats, his triceps, biceps and then finishing with abs. Push and pull kinda day. It was supposed to be only pull but well, what gives.

Joshua moved from the last machine, cleaned it off, threw the towel away and walked towards the locker-rooms. Thinking of getting a shower, grabbing his stuff and heading home. Maybe drink a beer and hopefully, sleep.

"What are you doing here?"

Joshua removed his earphones. You had cornered him almost as if you had planned it, and possibly did. He looked over his shoulder as a precaution, the hall was empty.

"What are you doing here?" you repeated, your tone anxious and shifty eyes roaming all over him.

"Baking a cake," he responded nonchalantly.

"Tsk, fine," you scoffed and looked the other way.

Joshua paused and took consideration over what he saw in you, the stale, emotionless about you. Unusual. The features of your face looked torn, instead of the usual kindness he usually saw in them. He confirmed his suspicions that you weren’t sleeping well either when he saw the darkness under your eyes, and the paleness that stole the color from your lips.

Even with that dead look in your eye, Joshua was convinced that you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. Although all you and Joshua ever did was throw snarky comments at each other, sometimes while fucking, even then, he always thought you were sweet and cute.

"How about we start over?"

"What?"

"Hi?" Joshua joked. "How are you? No?"

"Josh," you sighed and took a hand to your forehead, where your fingers rubbed your frown tiredly. "Sorry, you know what, you're right. I'm being a little on edge."

Joshua couldn't blame you for that. In fact, he felt like he might be the only person in the world that would understand what you're going through.

He leaned in, his doe eyes reading you carefully. "Do you need to talk?" he asked, his voice devoid of all snarkiness. It was his usual tone, honeyed.

You raised your eyes at him, glinting in such a way that it only made the knot in his stomach twist harder. "Yeah, I–," you choked up. "I... uh..."

"Did you come here by car?" he promptly asked and he saw the spark in your eyes change. Excitement, fear, as if the answers you desired so greatly were all found in him, in that question.

"I walked," you frowned softly. "Why?"

Joshua dug on the inside of his sweats and pulled out the key to his car. "Black Audi A8," he instructed: "Wait for me inside. I'll take no more than 10 minutes."

You pocketed the key in your gym bag quickly. "What are you going to do?"

"Take a shower," he said and started to turn to walk down the hall. "See you there."

Joshua closed the door of his car, settling on the seat.

You handed him the key to his car. "Hi," you mumbled shamefully.

"That's better," he joked, taking the key and thrusting it into the ignition. He drove away from the underground parking lot. As soon as he was within the vicinity of his place and the silence had turned somewhat unpleasant, he sent you a glance. "It's been a while."

You had been keeping your head turned to the side. But you nodded, and you met his brief gaze. "Yeah I've... been busy."

Joshua kept his comments to himself from that point. His mind had started reeling instead. He parked on his spot and as soon as he turned the engine off, he opened the glove compartment, pulling out a cap.

"Here," he offered you the cap.

"Are you serious?" you asked, sending him a bewildered look.

"Listen, I'm not risking someone seeing you here with me and start asking questions," he emphasized those words, knowing what value they had to them.

Because he was the nation's favorite playboy. The one who’s got the eyes and heart of the media. The heartthrob. Ever since his career skyrocketed, this fame, this persona, it had been following him close by like a shadow.

Though all a lie, it seemingly had fooled you too.

"Fine," you said, taking the cap, which was his team's merch, putting it on with a huff. Then you mumbled with dry sarcasm: "How do I look?"

"Pretty, as always," he smirked and pushed the door to get out of his car.

You followed him inside the elevator, down a hall and into his apartment.

"I would've assumed we'd reach the penthouse," you quipped as soon as you were inside.

Joshua turned the first lamp in the corner of the living room. The curtains were drawn wide open, letting in the view of the skylight. He snickered as an attempt to deflect from the constant judgment of his character.

"Why is that?" he asked with a low tone and motioned you over with one of his large hands.

"I dunno," you mumbled and walked over to the fancy large couch. "May I?"

"Of course," he replied and went over to the open kitchen to open the cabinet, grabbing two short glasses. "Drink?"

"Sure, uh," you breathed out shakily. "I only assumed that you'd be like the rest of 'em, you know. Showy, living on the top of the highest building, throwing out money wherever you go."

"Pff," he scoffed, throwing some cubes of ice into each glass. "You've known me long enough to know that's not my style."

That comment seemed to rattle you a bit. You stilled in your seat and when Joshua offered you the glass of whisky, you stared at the ice cubes for a moment.

Joshua was your husband's best friend. You have been part of each other's lives for long enough to know that his lavish lifestyle was nothing compared to the one of your husband's.

But Joshua is nothing like your husband.

Jake, your husband, is the one that the media loves. He is the golden boy, team captain, the one with the most deals, money and fame. The guy who gets all the recognition for being such a good husband.

"Jake is cheating on me," you breathed, letting those words out for the first time since you found out. They hit you like a punch in the gut, and your eyes instantly brimmed with tears of shame, guilt and regret.

Joshua was still standing between the couch and the coffee table, right in front of you. So he sat down by your side, leaving his drink beside yours, not quite looking in your eye as he sighed.

"I know."

Of all the reactions you were expecting, all the scenarios you ran in your mind, you never thought that he would say that.

Because he was your secret.

"How long have you known?" you demanded with a strangled tone.

He turned his head to look at you now, your gazes met and he decided to take a large gulp of his whisky before replying: "Ever since he slept with the first girl."

"Then you've known for..."

"Does it matter?"

Your eyes stopped shifting from side to side, the frantic train of thoughts slowed down. "Yes," you said slowly. "How come you've never told me?"

"I was going to but," he exhaled softly. "You sought me out before I could."

"So you were fine with us fucking and never acknowledging it?" you were quick to put two and two but then, "Why?"

"I thought that was what you needed."

"Joshua..." you whispered. "Why? Are you okay with–, why would you never say something about it?"

"I'm okay with whatever you want me to be," he muttered, looking straight into your eyes now. "I knew you needed me, you didn't need to tell me why. I knew."

"So all this time, when you've taunted me about it, to tell him... was it all just for fun? To get yourself off, to make yourself feel better–"

"To play my part," he sighed and went for another gulp of whisky and when you didn't say anything, he elaborated: "Famous playboy. Isn't that the reason why you went to me?"

You looked away in shame. "You're also his best friend. I figured the more excitement you'd get the less I would have to explain," It was your turn to drink from your glass, which you did so slowly.

"Was."

Your stomach dropped. Something in you had worked that out already, but you needed to hear the confirmation from him.

"What?"

Joshua took the glass between his lips, pouring the gold liquid down his throat. "Soon as he started boasting about it. I went low contact," he paused, the glass still lingering in front of his mouth before adding with a hint of disdain: "The dumbass hasn't even realized that I don't want to talk to him."

He looked at you with caution, expecting to see you crying, showing some emotion. Instead, you were mindlessly staring at the ice cubes sitting at the bottom of the now empty whisky glass.

"How did you find out, anyway?" he risked asking, trying to keep your attention still. He felt like you slipping away in your thoughts was dangerous.

"He stopped paying attention to me completely, he even recoils from my touch," you mumbled and your lip quivered a little. "So I started suspecting."

A silence followed and as the seconds went on, Joshua started getting anxious.

You licked your lips, raising your eyes and finding his. "He keeps things from the girls he sleeps with inside a box," you rasped out dryly. "Lingerie, earrings, hair ties... I'm also sure he's taken them to the house."

"Jesus," he hissed, downing the rest of the liquid to discard the glass on the coffee table and rubbing his hands on his face, trying not to succumb to the overwhelming rage he was feeling. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not sure if he either wanted me to find it or he's too stupid to actually keep it well hidden," you sighed. "It's driving me crazy these days."

"Do you have a plan? Do you know what you'll do?" he asked, trying with all his might to derive his attention back to you.

"I have nothing," you whispered.

"Does he know you went out tonight?"

"Jake's not in town. He flew out to visit his family and friends," you rolled your eyes and scoffed.

Joshua didn't need proof to know that was a blatant lie. And it seemed that you knew it too.

You finally set back the empty glass on the coffee table and let out a tired sigh.

"Can I ask you something?" you muttered with a tiny voice.

Joshua knew what was coming. So he relaxed on the back of the couch, shifting one leg over the seat to sit facing your body. He even propped an elbow on the headrest of the couch to lean his head on his fist.

"Shoot," he mumbled.

"Why are you doing this?" you glanced at him shyly. "You said that you no longer speak to Jake, but you pressure me to tell him either way. Are you–," you choked up again, but now due to your nervousness you started blurting: "Why do this, why agree to have an affair with me?"

"At the beginning, I felt sorry for you," he said reluctantly, feeling ashamed of himself as he looked away briefly. "You looked lonely. And I knew why. So."

"That still doesn't answer my question," you whispered, trying to read his doe eyes under the soft glow of the lamps.

He leaned his head on one side, reading the expression on your face. Your features had relaxed, no longer containing the anxiousness from before.

"Is it not obvious?" he asked back and felt his own heart race slightly, he paused and decided to say: "I'm also lonely."

You made no inquiry about the alleged rumors, everything that the media says about the women who keep coming and going in his life. But he hoped that you would catch onto slowly that it was all an act created by the media to attract people in. And he was their puppet.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" he returned, blinking slowly at you, unable to look at anything else but your face.

"Shoot," you echoed with a shadow of a smile.

"Do you still love him?"

You held your breath and avoided his gaze again. "No," you blurted out, guilt washing over you. "I haven't for a while. Thought that much was evident, though."

"I needed to know," he replied, feeling a light rush of ecstasy run through him upon hearing your answer.

You smiled, but there was no happiness to that smile. It was sad, and had bitterness written all over it. Joshua had to understand then that you lost a good chunk of your life when your husband decided to sleep around recklessly.

But besides the empathy he felt for you, he was livid. He wasn't a man to endorse violence, but he couldn't deny the fact that he has had to contain himself several times before when your husband was boasting about his affairs.

"Hey," Joshua whispered, running the back of his index finger on your cheek. "I'm sorry you're going through this. I really am."

Your brow furrowed a little and your eyes widened, making you look a little lost. "Thank you, Joshua. I'm sorry this probably wasn't the way you wanted your Friday night to go."

"I had no plans for tonight," he explained, blinking slowly at you, an endearing look in his eyes.

"What would a regular night look like for you anyway?" you asked, leaning back on the couch, looking at him with curiosity.

"You're looking at it," he shrugged with ease and nodded. "Minus you being here, of course."

"Be serious," you scoffed at him.

"I am," he rolled his eyes with feigned annoyance. Joshua only kept his playboy image by flirting around. every once in a while, he would take a pretty model or actress to dinner.

You seemed to ponder for a second, without tearing your eyes from his face. "Well, you not being what the world says about you is definitely something I didn't expect," you confessed.

It was Joshua's turn to smile bitterly. "Yeah, who would've thought that the real playboy was the team captain, right?"

Your husband was the team captain. You immediately flinched a little with the realization that your husband's whole public image of being the perfect man was tainted not only by himself.

"Too soon?" Joshua mumbled shamefully.

"No, it's okay," you replied and cleared your throat.

But Joshua could see the gears in your brain turning. He couldn't blame you, he knew the feeling too well. It robbed him of sleep and held his peace of mind hostage every day.

"I'm sorry for pulling you into all of this," you told him. Your eyes were sincere, dimming with some regret just before you looked away.

"Don't be," he muttered softly, putting a hand on your knee to bring you some comfort. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't want any of it."

The features of your face relaxed at that and you met his eyes again. Your pretty hand slid on top of his in a gesture of gratitude. Then a thought crossed your mind—it seemed a little crazy that in all of this mess, you'd find a friend.

Even if the lines of that friendship had become blurry.

Joshua turned the palm of his hand over, so he was properly holding your hand now. You gave him a gentle squeeze, a warm feeling flooding in your chest and that made you sigh.

Then without thinking too much, he took the cap off your head, pushing some hairs off your face with his free hand. You didn't care how tender his touch felt, you welcomed it.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked with a low honeyed voice.

You shook your head silently, your hand was still in his so you just took the liberty to play with his pretty fingers, lacing them with yours.

"No one is waiting for me there," you muttered with a tiny voice and Joshua felt your words punch him in the chest. He felt overwhelmed by the urge to make you feel better, to take the pain from you.

So he just let it overpower him.

His hand came up to cradle your cheek, driving your gaze back to his again. What he wasn't expecting was you leaning your face against his touch, your free hand sliding on top of his and you closing your eyes.

He ran the pad of his thumb on your cheek, feeling your soft skin, then trailed to your lips, caressing them carefully until you opened your eyes again to find his.

You pressed your lips on the pad of his thumb. It wasn't a suggestive kiss, there was nothing in your eyes that meant that fiery need to which you had pulled him out the fire exit that first night he kissed you.

It was an affectionate kiss. But it only made him want more. He craved the softness, the tenderness, he needed you wholly.

So he took his shot, leaning in to rest his forehead on top of yours, the tip of his nose pushing against yours gently and he heard your breath hitch with a tiny moan as your lips brushed against his. He waited like this, waited for you to protest against this, to push him away.

But you gave in not a second later, pressing your soft lips against his own in a slow, tender kiss. You sobbed out some nervousness when you broke away, only to dive right in again with a deeper kiss, wet lips locking slowly, as if meeting each other again.

Joshua released your hand that was previously laced with his, using it to find your waist and pulled softly, motioning you closer. You understood what he meant without him having to break the kiss to say it.

So you sloppily moved your knees on the couch to sit on his lap, straddling him. Your hands cupped his face, now demanding a hungrier kiss from him, which he responded willingly with a low grunt that coiled in his throat.

The kiss suddenly came to a stop with a smacking sound. Heavy breathing filled his ears before he opened his eyes to see the light frown on your face, your eyes desperately reading his features.

"What are we doing, Joshua?" you asked. Your voice sounded shaky and breathless.

"Going with it," he replied, heart pounding against his chest.

"But, after this. Where are we going with all of this?" you demanded and he knew you needed to get ahead of this. You were hurt and probably weren't looking to be hurt again.

Joshua squeezed your arm gently. "Wherever you want it to," he replied sincerely, his doe eyes looking up at you.

"Josh," a question formed on your lips, but then you leaned in to meet his lips with your own.

"Mm?" he responded, the soft lines between his eyebrows seemed to mark a little.

"Just..." you shook your head slightly and swallowed hard, thinking of the warmth in his hands parked in the small of your back.

Joshua understood the restlessness, the danger that you were putting yourself in by being with him like this. He felt it too. But he also knew that you thought about him everyday, all the time. Just like he thought about you.

He blinked slowly at you, with a warmth and homeliness that swept through him. "What do you want?" he asked.

You paused, seemingly absorbed by the question for a second. It was the first time in a long time that someone asked you that—it had been a while since you took into consideration what you wanted, too.

When you started this, you thought that having an affair with Joshua was a form of revenge. To get back at your husband for betraying you. But it slowly became something you couldn't stop, you became greedy about it.

Now, you weren't sure if greed was the only thing that you felt.

"I want you," you whispered, feeling a rush of adrenaline coursing through your body upon confessing it. "I don't care how. I just know that I do. I think about you every day and it's driving me crazy."

Joshua's heart pounded frantically against his chest, his eyes reading your face, trying to gather every detail in your features. He knew it already, but hearing you say it sent him into a frenzy. Nothing else mattered anymore.

His hand cupped the back of your head, pulling you into a kiss, lips sealing yours with a passion he didn't know he had inside him. He blindly searched for the scrunchie that secured your braid and pulled it, freeing your hair with a groan.

You shuddered when his fingers sank in your hair, grazing your scalp, holding a fistful to keep you in place as he kissed you hungrily, his plump lips exploring yours.

It was the first time he kissed you like this, without the haste or the snark. There was no fear of getting caught, no need to rush anything.

"Stay the night with me," Joshua whispered into your lips, feeling his breath catch under a surge of emotions.

"Okay," you whispered back without hesitation.

"Please," he added.

"I'll stay the night," you reassured him.

"Okay," he settled, pulling you into his arms, wrapping you as he kissed your lips hungrily, a soft moan spilling into your mouth when your hands cupped the back of his head.

Joshua felt torn between the need to do things slowly, he hadn't had the chance before to have you like this. Every time he's had the opportunity to kiss you or to have sex with you it's been in lonely corridors.

He didn't want to think about whether he would ever have you here like this again. He didn't want to think of the future and that made him irrational, careless.

Blindly searching for the hem of your clothes, he broke the kiss only to start undressing you. You raised your arms when he got rid of your hoodie you didn't see where it was thrown, Joshua was on your lips again, kissing you with urgency.

"Joshua," you muffled in his mouth. "Let's go to your room."

He nodded and wordlessly motioned you to stand up from his lap, fumbling for your hand to lead you down a dimly lit hall and pushed a door open, turning on the lights to the bedroom.

The room seemed dark upon first glance, the gray bedding contrasting only with the white pillows and the dim lighting of the overhead lamps. To your surprise, the scent of cinnamon hung in the air like a vague memory. As if a candle had been lit moments before he left the apartment to work out at the gym.

Joshua tugged at your arm, pulling you to his body so that he could wrap his arms around your body, leaning his head down to capture your lips with his own with a clumsy kiss as he walked you backwards until the back of your knees touched the edge of his bed.

"Sit down," he instructed softly. "Let me take care of you, yeah?"

Your breath hitched slightly, as your body began to heat up as soon as you sat down on his bed.

In one motion he pulled off his sweatshirt, exposing his bare torso. He had minor bruises and scratches on his sides and chest, but you knew it was normal, either from training or from how easily his skin bruised. Or both. While some looked old and faint, other bruises looked black and blue.

With little care for taking his time, he removed your clothes, he wanted you bare as soon as he could so he could finally see you. All the times he has been with you like this, all the times he's had sex with you have been fully clothed.

So when you laid in his bed, wholly naked below him, he sighed out his delight over you. He pressed a knee on the edge of the mattress, placing his hands at each side of your head to lean over your body.

He hummed as he pressed kisses in your lips, once, twice. "You're so beautiful," he muttered in between as his lips moved in yours seamlessly, melting into a more demanding and passionate kiss.

Your eyes sparked with some amazement when he pulled back. He wondered if your husband ever said that to you, because you looked befuddled for a second.

"Yeah, you are," he muttered, a small smile crowning his pretty lips. "The prettiest girl I've ever seen."

"Josh," you chuckled warmly. "Don't go all sweet on me now."

"What, you thought I couldn't be anything but horrible to you?" he teased, kissing the apple of your cheek.

"I like the way you are," you confessed when his lips trailed down to the underside of your jaw, making you whimper a little when he placed an open kiss at the base of your throat.

"Yeah?" he muttered, ignoring the feeling shaking his heart. "Why?"

"Y-you're softer than you let on," you stammered, fingers trembling as you grazed his scalp to grab his hair. "You are kind and fun to be around. You're nothing like the world says about you."

"Mmn now who's going sweet on me," he teased, reaching down to kiss your tits, littering kisses all over, not trying to be sensual or to arouse you. He was simply exploring your body with his lips.

But it was quite obvious that you would become aroused. Your body responded by tensing up under his, your fingers clenching into fists, one gripping the bed covers, the other in his hair.

"Josh," you whimpered, when his tongue lapped around one of your nipples, now teasing it with the tip of his tongue, tasting your skin with a delightful groan.

While he did the same to your other nipple, his hand cupped your breast fully, his fingers gently digging into your soft skin, licking your nipple, his tongue swirling around it. His lips wrapped around your hardened nipple and suckled at it slightly.

"Fuck," you breathed, your thighs clenching when a sharp arousing feeling shot through your body.

Joshua hummed softly, detaching his mouth from your nipple with a soft smacking sound and moved to plant a soft kiss on your lower lip. "Will you let me eat you out, baby?" he lifted a hand from the mattress to pinch your chin. "Mn?"

A hot wave sizzled beneath your skin in anticipation. "Yeah," you choked nervously. "Please do."

He smiled before diving in for another chaste kiss and climbed down the bed. His hands came up to grab your thighs from the underside of your knee and pulled your body down so your butt was aligned to the edge of the bed.

Joshua got down on his knees and you propped yourself on your elbows on the mattress to follow his movements, his hands motioning your legs to rest on his shoulders, holding your thighs to help you do so.

"You have the prettiest pussy," he sighed before pressing his lips on your pussy lips, right before lapping his tongue on your folds with a broad stroke, his hands gripping your thighs decisively.

You let your head hang back with a low cry of pleasure, sneaking one hand to grab at his hair again, holding for dear life. His tongue explored your cunt fully, not neglecting a single inch of skin, of your folds, drinking in your arousal.

Joshua darted a look at you. Your head was thrown back and your chest was heaving slightly, only to suck in a breath as his tongue slowly made its way up from your entrance to your clit.

"Oh, god," you gasped when he started pushing his tongue against your clit gently, teasing it first to get it to swell. The sizzling sensation beneath your skin only intensified, making you moan through clenched teeth.

A hand climbed up from your thigh and parked on your lower tummy, palm pressing back on your skin just as his tongue swirled around your clit in swift figure eight motions, unrelenting in their pace, perfectly drawing you closer to the edge.

You eased back on the mattress, biting your lip to focus on the flicking of his tongue on your clit, the way it made the muscles of your inner thighs twitch in response to the sweet teasing. "Joshua, 'm close," you sighed.

Joshua hummed in response, applying more pressure to his large hand on your lower tummy, his low moan vibrating against your sensitive bud.

You slowly fell apart, moaning his name loudly as your sweet orgasm sizzled beneath your skin, washing over you completely, making you tremble on his bed until you are half conscious.

"Joshua," you repeated his name over and over breathlessly. You had released his hair, laying languidly on the edge of his bed as you slowly came down from your high.

But Joshua wasn't done.

His tongue lapped between your folds, dipping into your entrance with a soft groan upon finding that your core throbbed for more. With a soft hum he returned to give your cunt a deep open kiss, making you flinch slightly.

"Josh, please," you breathed out. "I need you... right now."

You sat up clumsily just as he detached his mouth from your cunt, a shudder going through you when you saw the glistening wetness dripping from his mouth and chin, which he wiped with the back of his hand.

"Come here," you motioned when he stood up and you reached out to hook your fingers on the band of his gray sweats, looking up to his eyes as you pulled both his boxers and sweats down for him to step out of them.

You grabbed his cock with one hand, rolling your hand over to his bulbous head, smearing the precum gathering on his slit to give him a few pumps. You brought his tip to your mouth, giving him shy kitty licks before darting a look to his eyes.

His hand brushed your hair gently before cupping the side of your head. "I thought you needed me, baby," he teased and nodded his head to the bed. "Lie back."

You crawled backwards on his large bed and lied back at the same time that he crawled on top of your body, slotting himself between your thighs with a sigh.

"Let me be on top," you breathed, bumping the tip of your nose against his before kissing him. "Please?"

Joshua looked at you with some amusement written in his eyes, he thought of a snarky remark, to tease you before giving into your request. But instead of that, he nodded and rolled over.

"Sit up," you asked softly, moving on your knees to straddle him.

Joshua smiled and sat up, his hands immediately reaching out to grab your waist. "What are you doing, baby?" he chuckled breathily as you sat on top of him, clumsily wrapping your legs around him.

"Just let me do this," you said with a furrowed brow, scooting so that you could align your core to his cock, guiding with your hand before pushing your hips to sheathe him inside you with one thrust.

"God," he breathed out, the tone of his voice raw as his head dropped on your shoulder. "Fuck, baby."

"D'you like that?" you asked innocently, swaying your hips gently against his and biting back a moan over how good he felt stuffed inside you.

He slowly lifted his head to face you. "Yeah, baby," he sighed with an embarrassed smile as he added: "I missed you."

You shuddered upon hearing his confession. "I m-missed you too, Josh."

"Yeah?" he mouthed.

You nodded shyly. "All the time," you admitted.

You realized that you didn't have to go fast to achieve a high, you were just fine with rutting against his hips, feeling every inch of his cock sheathed inside your warmth. The pleasure written on his face was enough for you to stifle a moan, biting your lower lip.

His dark eyes glimmered under the soft glow of the overhead lights of his room, you saw his mouth part a little before he blinked and dropped his head in your chest, muffling a raw moan in your tits. His hands firmly placed on your ass, pressing down each time you sank down on him.

"Leave him," he muttered against your chest, leaving a trail of kisses leading to your heart.

"Joshua," you whispered, your hand slid up his nape, feeling his soft black hair.

"Leave him," he asked again, now lifting his head from your chest to lock eyes with you. "Please."

You thought of telling him all of the implications of that action alone. Because you've thought about it, you wanted to. You've thought about it countless times but there was always something in the way.

"I'll help you," he swallowed hard. "I'll protect you."

"Joshua," you insisted again. "Please, don't. I can't get you more involved."

Joshua let out a breathy laugh. "I think it's a little too late for that, baby," he said slowly, his eyes glinting with some emotion as you kept bouncing gently on top of him.

You read his face, the honesty in his eyes as he kept looking at you. "Are you sure?" you muttered, holding onto his shoulders with your hands to keep your pace steady.

But he held you through, guiding the sway of your hips with his pretty hands. He nodded with his head. "I've never been more sure about something."

A sharp pain twisted inside your chest, you shuddered and rested your forehead on top of his. "Why? What changed?" you whispered against your better judgment. But you needed this.

"I want to do this," he said, but that wasn't the whole truth.

"I don't want this to hurt you in any way," you muttered.

"Come on, baby," Joshua smiled softly at you, his hands sliding up the line of your back wrapping his arms around you. "Don't go all sweet on me."

"Please Joshua," you insisted, a slight tinge of urgency humming in your tone and you pulled your forehead back to see his face fully.

Joshua's mind began to reel. He considered two things, his most instinctive reaction was to lie and deflect the very evident truth (though not to you) that he was in love with you. The second one, and one that he wasn't too keen on, was to just tell you later.

His hands traveled down to your lower back, grabbing your hips to help you move on top of him with more urgency. He didn't need to finish, but he was hoping he would distract you.

You dug your heels into the soft covers to anchor yourself and started pushing against his hips purposefully. "Why now? Tell me," you whispered. And he saw it in your eyes, you were already suspecting.

"Stay with me," he replied, his voice low but full of certainty.

"I'm not going anywhere, I told you I'd stay," you replied, your sweet voice taking a tinge of concern.

He shook his head slightly. "I don't want you to leave," he said through a ragged sigh. "Stay with me."

He knew he was crossing a line, he was about to find out if you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

Your eyes remained on his, and he wished for a second to know what you were thinking. The rolling of your hips came to a stop and Joshua thought that you'd get up and leave. His heart vibrated against his chest frantically.

You gave him a slow nod with your head, it was almost a mechanical movement. Okay, you mouthed, okay.

"Yeah?" he whispered, his eyebrow arching slightly. He licked his lips before bringing a hand up to cup your chin and kissed your lower lip softly.

You nodded with eagerness now. "Yeah," you let out a soft laugh. "Why, where does this come from?" you asked.

"What do you mean?" he hummed, egging you to retake the movement of your hips, wanting to feel your tight walls sliding on him again.

You tilted your head back as Joshua moved his lips down your chin, trailing along the line of your jaw. And you let your eyes close to focus back to the motion of your hips, his hard cock on your fluttering walls and you moaned when his lips reached your throat.

"You were meant to be mine," he murmured against your skin. "He was introducing you to me, before everything."

Jake was supposed to introduce you to Joshua. But then he decided he wanted you for himself and you didn't meet Joshua until you were already dating your husband. And it was fine by him, he thought nothing of it at first.

But then he got to meet you.

"You are..." Joshua dipped his face on the crook of your neck, letting out a soft sigh against your skin. "You are the sweetest girl I've ever met."

His lips left an open kiss on your throat, making you squirm a little and moan. Your hand shifted from the back of his head to cup his cheek and you leaned your head, breathing erratically due to the movement of your hips on him.

"Leave him," he said again, but now you felt like you were losing him to a frenzied trance. His eyes were doing that thing again, glimmering under the soft lighting of the room.

"I will, I'll leave him," you hummed and your heart stuttered, breaking over the man that was looking at you like a lost puppy.

He moaned softly when you captured his lips with your own, his hands held your body, shifting to feel your skin, your back, your arms, until they parked at your thighs, kneading softly at the rhythm of the gentle sway of your hips.

"Joshua," you sighed a moan with some urgency.

Joshua turned your body over, pressing your back onto the mattress and slotting himself between your parted thighs to sink into your walls again with a loud groan from his part.

Now on top of you, he could do what he hadn't had the chance to until that moment. As he pulled his hips back, to then press against yours again, his cock dragging in and out of you, fucking you slowly, he could only think of one thing.

"Let me love you," he muttered with a raw tone, looking into your eyes, his hand met your cheek. "Be mine."

A sob coiled in your throat, making his eyes shift to your mouth and back to your eyes. He knew he had struck something in you, and he knew what you felt.

You gave him a fucked out nod, parting your mouth but no words came out.

"Mn? D'you want me to love you?" he asked with a honeyed purr, a smile stretching his pretty lips when you nodded again. "Are you mine?"

"Yeah, yeah," you whimpered between gasps he drew out with each thrust.

He grabbed your leg, hiking your knee up his shoulder to push deeper into you again with a loud cry of pleasure from your part, making tears gather on the corners of your eyes as he started sinking his cock in your walls again.

"I'm gonna love you," he gasped, the enunciation alone robbing him of air as he slowly pushed himself into a mad love surge for you.

Pleasure bloomed inside your body, inundating you with overwhelming waves, your mouth parted further and your brows knitted. The hand that wasn't holding onto him cupped his cheek, driving his gaze to yours.

"Are you gonna come, baby?" he hummed, enjoying the look on your face when you were close.

"Yeah," you gasped out lewdly, closing your eyes to welcome in the sweet wave of pleasure that shot through you briefly. "'m so close."

"Mmn, yeah baby? Gonna come with me?" he grunted, pushing his cock into your walls, his lip quivered slightly, letting out a raw moan through. "Want me to come inside you?"

"Yeah, please. Please, Josh," you whined pathetically, letting out a strangled moan as you slowly started to lose control, sweet pleasure washing over you, making your thighs shake. "Ohh god, mn, 'm gonna–'m–,"

"I know, I know, baby," he replied gently, feeling your walls clamping down around his cock, your warmth swallowing him, tipping him over the edge too. Joshua moaned in your mouth, spilling himself into you with deep hard thrusts.

"Joshua," you squirmed under the weight of his body as he fucked you through your long and sweet orgasm, making a mess on the bed covers.

With a couple of sloppy thrusts, he waited until you stopped shaking to ease your leg back to the mattress, carefully and pressed his chest against yours. He decided to remain quiet, relaxing into the gentle shock of confessing so much in a span of a couple of minutes.

But he just turned his head, bumping the tip of his nose against the underside of your jaw before pressing a kiss on your skin. Breathing tiredly under his weight you caressed his back with your hands, feeling his soft skin and you let out a soft hum.

"Should we... let's get cleaned up," you muttered after some time, breaking the peaceful silence.

The weight of his body between your legs had started to cause some discomfort around the joints of your hips, but even then you didn't want him to break away from you.

With heavy reluctance, Joshua peeled from your body, climbing off the bed and offered you his hand again to follow him down the hall and to the bathroom, where you washed.

"I can lend you some of my clothes," he offered quietly when you came back to his bedroom, wrapped in one of his bathrobes.

He finished putting on some black boxers when he raised his head and found you standing in front of his large bed. He sat down on one corner, reaching over to you and wrapped his long fingers around your wrist to motion you between his thighs.

"Are you feeling a bit better?" he asked, reading your face, he saw that the color had returned to your lips.

"Yeah, I am," you whispered, caressing his shoulder with the palm of your hand. "I'm a bit scared, Josh."

"I know," he admitted, brushing your damp hair with his fingers and tucking it behind your ear carefully. "But we can plan this together. You're not alone."

That made your glimmering eyes lock with his. It felt like a blow to your chest to come to grips that Joshua was willing to help you and even more so, that he loved you.

"Thank you, Joshua," you said, the knot coiling in your throat stealing your voice. "For everything."

Joshua just nodded silently, bringing your hand to his lips to press soft kisses in your knuckles. "Let's sleep, okay? We'll plan tomorrow."

You wore one of his t-shirts to sleep, wrapped in his manly scent and his gray bed sheets.

At the beginning, you laid facing each other at arm's length. He assumed that you needed space, as it was the first time you slept with him.

So he was beginning to prepare for another sleepless night, but this time he was looking at the subject of his unrest. Even if you were right there with him, the pressing matter of getting you out of your failing marriage by any means necessary was causing him worry.

It took him several seconds to realize that you were still awake. Your eyes were closed, but you slowly moved your body closer to his, until your face nestled into the warmth of his neck. Joshua sighed with a smile and that made you tilt your head back so you could see his face.

"Go to sleep, baby," you whispered, looking at him fondly. "We'll plan tomorrow."

At that moment, he wrapped his strong arms around you, giving you a slow, languid kiss that went on until he couldn't kiss you anymore, until his body begged him to rest.

Joshua doesn't know how he managed to fall asleep in your arms, he believes that it was the gentle rhythm of your heartbeat that served as the best lullaby he could ever ask for.

He wished for more nights like this with you, though he wasn't sure when that would be possible.

Nor of the consequences it would bring.

› a/n: this was supposed to be a drabble

but to answer your question @thatgirlfromwindsor: i think joshua is an ass man. yeah 🤔

if you liked this, lemme know! a comment, a like, reblog, anything is appreciated! drop me an ask if you wanna, send me your filthy reqs, or not ᨐฅ💖

anyway now, i swear that next update will be city lights pt 8, i promise hehe

love you all (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)♡

toodles

join my taglist | buy me a coffee? ♡

#joshua hong smut #joshua hong x reader #svthub #joshua hong x you #svt smut #joshua hong fanfic #seventeen smut #joshua hong imagines #svt drabble #hannieween #ff:pushing and pulling #hannieween.reqs

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jenroses · 2 years ago

Note

Hey! Please feel free to ignore but you did say to ask you about masks :P the ones I've found that are multiple layers for max protection are really stiff, which squishes my face and leads to gaps. Do you have recommendations? Thanks!

I know that there's a lot of noise about elastomeric masks but for me they're a nonstarter because of the stiffness you talk about. I think it's important to understand that most of the 94-95 standard masks that actually meet that standard are going to be plenty good enough where most people are concerned. Is it possible to catch Covid with a mask on? Yes. I've done it.

Is it likely? No. I'm immune compromised. This isn't data, but our experience has been that a combination of masks, reasonable common sense and good filtration are enough that despite having a school-aged child, a husband who travels for conventions, and me, immune suppressed, with a college student living in our house, I have only had covid twice, the first time was an unfortunate collision of me going to a store at the wrong time where a clerk had both covid and the flu and gave them to me, and the other one involved a family member not using a mask at a public event while eating. Even then, when I caught covid and the flu at the same time and isolated immediately with filtration and everyone coming into my space being masked... not one other person in our house caught it, and when someone else caught it a year later, the only people who caught it were sharing sleeping spaces. Our roommates did not catch it, and everyone was masking from the moment of the first positive test. When my kid got half-assed about masking at school, he immediately got flu and strep at the same time. I pointed out that his lack of care about it could mean a lot of missed school for him and serious health impacts for both of us, and he started wearing a mask again, and did not get sick for the rest of the school year. He HATES the masks that go behind the head and wears Armbrust kn95 masks exclusively (dark blue, lol) And it's pretty clear that without the masks he was getting sick a lot and with he just...doesn't. He is wearing them all day except for lunch through full school days, so that says something. Armbrust will send little behind the head doohickies to keep them off the ears but he never uses them. At $2ish per mask they're not the cheapest but he uses one mask for multiple days so it's not too bad overall cost wise. They have kid sizing, but he's in the regular adult size now at 11. Now, I'll talk about Armbrust for a minute because I really like the company. On pretty much every mask they sell you'll see a video of one of their people reviewing the mask and going over testing data... but they ALSO have reviews of almost every other mask on the market, bad, good and in between, and if you find a mask on Amazon or something and want to know more about it, search the mask name and "armbrust" and the youtube video and product data page will pop up. I've found several special masks for very particular needs by looking through their database for combinations of breathability and shape that weren't even masks they sold. So if you are struggling, take a look at the database, eliminate "failed" masks, look for the ones that meet your needs and then watch the video to see what he says about them first. There are some VERY inexpensive masks out there that work very well, and some masks that are incredibly breathable or incredibly high filtration and a few unicorns that are both.

Now Hubby is okay with the same KN95 masks that our son likes but he exercises and his lungs get a little touchy sometimes so he needs maximum ease in breathing, so using that database I found Dr. Puri masks. Here's the Armbrust review. Here's the listing I found them on. Hubby LOVES them. He also prefers behind the ear. About $1.50 each.

I *hate* behind the ear with a hot hate, they bug me. But I can't just use one type of mask all the time because I have EDS and neck issues so pressure there can be awkward, plus I get short of breath sometimes anyway (history of pulmonary embolism that long predates covid) and I have sensory skin issues.

Bar none the most breathable mask I've ever tried, which also does not fog my glasses, is the Drager mask. These are soft, extraordinarily easy to breathe through, and have a unique strap that makes on/off very easy, and lets you pull the top strap and let it hang around your neck if needed. Unfortunately it has a VERY snug fit across the nose and leaves marks on my cheeks, or it would be perfect, but it's a good option, and possibly someone with a smaller face would have an easier time. These are possibly the best filtering and most breathable masks on the market, so for high risk situations this is the mask I would use. They filter 99.7% in testing. They're a little more expensive at about $1.25 per when I checked today. For a good intersection of fit and comfort, but a little less breathable, are the ACI N95 surgical respirator duckbills. These do not leave marks, don't fog much, good seal around the face, and the single most comfortable head strap I've ever seen. The fabric is very smooth, it is sensory good, but the breathability is not as high. It's not hard to breathe through, it's just not as easy as Drager or Dr. Puri. But... They could probably pass an N99 standard by Armbrust's testing, as they filter >99.4% of particulate, where the standard is 95%. These are also incredibly cheap. If you get their subscribe and save discount (you can do every 6 months) you can get 50 for $25, so 50 cents apiece.

All of these masks are pretty soft, easy to wear, and very good at what they do.

The TL:DR though.... The important thing is to find a mask that you will wear consistently and correctly every time you need it. A mask that hangs on your face and slips is not a good mask for you. A mask you hate so much you make excuses not to wear it is not a good mask for you. A mask that breaks easily or makes it hard to breathe so you end up taking it off is not a good mask. If what you have isn't working, there are LOTS of things that might.

Last Armbrust plug: THEY HAVE A SAMPLER PACK. You can buy a pack of a zillion different types and styles of mask and try a bunch! And order the one you like best! If you aren't sick, one sampler pack can be tried by the people in your household so everyone can figure out what works for them!

Also, I used to get sick very very often and now I just...don't. Not from contagious viruses, anyway. I don't understand why people are so cavalier about it. I've been sick less since 2020 than in any given six month period in my entire life. Despite being on immune suppressants.

#masks #face masks #n95 masks #covid isn't over

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orphiclovers · 1 year ago

Text

Here's a headcanon/theory: Kim Dokja has been to therapy pre-scenarios.

There's a couple of reasons I think this. First, it's likely that as an underage witness of a murder he was assigned a child psychologist, at least for the duration of the case and court proceedings. And after he was adopted by his relatives, I think they would definitely recommend to take him to psychological counseling for the severe trauma he suffered at such a young age.

And they probably did. No matter how neglectful they might have turned out as Kim Dokja got older, they had accepted him and this would have been common sense, recommended to them by the court, and would reflect badly on them if they didn't follow through.

Second, he must have seen a psychiatrist after his suicide attempt as a teenager. Also an extreme scenario where there would be pressure on his relatives to do something about his mental health.

And thirdly, just the way he acts? Whenever he's in a stressful situation, his most common reaction is 'take deep breaths and staying calm'. He does this CONSTANTLY. Here's just some examples.

This FEELS like 'I've been to therapy and they taught me to do breathing exercises there'. His singular ability to stay calm during all kinds of stressful scenarios is one of the big reasons kimcom relies on him so much. And even when that fails and he has a flashback, when the Fourth Wall stabilizes him, the first thing he does is control his breathing again.

#4th wall xanax metaphor. maybe #kim dokja #rare kdj post from me i know #orv #orv meta #omniscient reader's viewpoint #my posts

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deanwinchestersbabygirll · 2 months ago

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Dean?

-Warnings// lil angst, SMUT, fluff, fluff and more fluff; lil summary- this is a request for a part 2 of Last Christmas, you can read that here, this can be read as a stand alone but I would recommend reading Last Christmas first :))

-Dean x reader

-word count//10,415

(gif from Pinterest)

4 months, it had been 4 months since your heart was ripped from your chest. No matter what you did you just couldn't escape that night...

"Baby... is everything okay ?" You asked worried, watching as Dean stared off into the distance his eyebrows scrunched together as though he was in deep thought "the hallucinations are starting aren't they?" Dean could only nod at you. Closing your eyes you take a deep breath "okay... I'll make a salt circle and get the goofer dust from the trunk" you croaked out, your words getting caught in your throat, your breathing picked up as you rushed to the impala "Y/N, it's okay. we don't have time, we've gotta stop Lilith... it's our only option at this point sweetheart" Dean said grabbing your shaking hands in his own, "but what if- what if it doesn't work?" you struggled to ask through tears.

His hand moved to your cheek, wiping the tears away with his rough hand, Dean leaned down slightly, pressing a firm kiss on your forehead as he fought away his own tears "Y/N... I love you so damn much, I know this sucks baby, trust me... I know it does but, we've tried everything I'm not getting out of this de-" you cut him off through sobs "no don't say that, please just don't say that" you begged clinging to him. Dean nodded silently just holding your body close to his "okay I won't say it" dean held you tight as he tried to ignore the howls of the hounds nearing closer to him. You tried to memorise the way he felt with his arms wrapped tightly around you, the way he smelt - gun fire and whiskey, and the sound of his voice, you never wanted to forget the sound of his voice, you knew it was only a matter of hours before you would never hear him speak again.

You made the most of the time you had left with Dean, you didn't leave him alone at all, he could barley go pee without you hot on his trail, but he wouldn't have had it any other way. That's why when it happened you had seen it all happen, the windows shattered as loud crashed entered the room you screamed as an held you back "get her out of here Sam" dean yelled as the invisible dogs pounced on him causing him to yell out in pain as blood splattered all over the white walls "no Dean!" You screamed trying to rush to him, Sam's arms wrapped around you pulling you back into him in a comforting restraint, you thrashed around but Sam's hold never loosened, he refused let go until he felt your body relax, by that point you'd collapsed against as sobs wracked through your body " let me go sam" you begged out in laboured breaths

The second Sam's grip was gone you crawled towards deans lifeless body, you saw the blank stare in his eyes knowing there was no life left in them. Your hand shot to your mouth to the muffle your cries. You saw the slices all through his chest seeing his body was torn to shreds "come on, you don't gotta see this. You two go to the car and I'll burn his body-" you cut Bobby off quickly "no, deans gonna need his body when he comes back." you told them both not allowing any room for arguments, not that Sam would have anyway. You watched as Sam and Bobby put dean into the back of the impala, you got in with him laying his head in your lap, silently crying the whole ride to Bobby's, just soaking up your last time holding Dean in some way.

You tossed in bed as you blocked out the rest of the last three months, you haven't stopped trying to find a way to bring Dean back, you've went to 17 different crossroad demons trying to sell your own soul in exchange for Dean, it all ended the same way, the demon laughing at you "now why would we exchange Dean Winchester's soul for yours?" and then they'd be exercised, I mean did they think you were stupid enough not to put a damn devils trap down before summoning them?

You've even tried bargaining with witches, paying them hundreds just for a spell that wouldn't work, and of course that usually meant they'd meet their end at the barrel of your gun. 4 months down the line and your running out of options, hell you haven't spoken to Sam for months. He jumped in the impala and drove off the day after deans funeral, only leaving you with a good bye, you've tried calling but he ditched his cell and got a new number so you haven't been able to talk to him, which honestly hasn't helped, you lost the love of your life and within hours your best friend too. You were thankful you still had Bobby, he was the only one who's been there for you no matter what, although he didn't agree with your methods, he understood, if he was in the same position you were he'd be doing everything in his power to bring his wife back.

Sighing you look at the alarm clock beside your bed that read 3:26am, great another night with no sleep. You couldn't remember the last time you'd had an actual nights rest, it's been years from you had to sleep alone, always having Dean next to you, your head against his chest as his fingers ran through your hair, only he could get you to relax enough to get to sleep and now that he was gone you had to make do with the 2 to 3 hour sleeps you were getting. You decided to get up and do some more research, maybe there's something you're missing.

"How long have you been awake?" Bobby asked knowingly as he walked into the kitchen finding you with a beer at your laptop, six books scattered across the table "uh... what time is it" Bobby sighed looking at his watch "7:15am" you scrunched your face, taking a long sip of your beer "uh like..." you drifted off trying not to say how long. "Y/N your stressing me out here kid" bobby said softly " I mean when's the last time u ate something real, I'm talking actual food, not a bag of chips or beer, you look like your killing yourself here, you ain't sleeping, ain't eating and all you do is research or killing witches. I'm worried about you"

You took a deep breath looking at the older man "I know... I'm sorry Bobby, this isn't fair to you, you shouldn't have to see this crap. I'll get my stuff and head out" you assured him closing your lap top and moving to get up "woah, that's not what I meant. I don't want you heading out anywhere your damn self. I want you to sleep more than 2 hours and I want you to eat an actual meal three times a day" Bobby say down next to you pulling your arm to pull you back down "darlin I know you feel like you've got your heart ripped right from your chest, and I know you feel like it'll never get any better, and I'm not gonna bullshit ya and say that you will, cause you won't but your gonna realise it's gets easier every day I promise" Bobby assured you patting your back

"do you know the story behind Dean giving me this ring?" You looked up showing the the diamond that rested on your left ring finger, Bobby shook his head "he made a promise to me-" you took a shaky breath before continuing "he promised that if he got out of the deal we'd get married. So every night when I close my eyes that's all I think about, and when I do finally get some sleep, I'm back in that night, it's like I'm watching him die all over again. And then when I wake up it's just a cycle of everything, and I don't think that'll ever go away Bobby" you cried

Bobby pulled you into a hug letting you cry on his shoulder "I didn't know about the ring, I'm sorry darlin" Bobby said quietly. You stayed there in Bobby's arms just silently crying, it felt like everything had just come crashing down on you again, like everything had happened just yesterday. Eventually you cried yourself to a sound sleep, Bobby felt your body go limp, it was as though your exhaustion had finally caught up with you, he didn't want to wake you so he carefully carried you to the couch and laid you down, he pulled the blanket over the top of the couch and wrapped it tightly around you.

Bobby sat down at the kitchen table putting his head in his hands , he was beyond stressed, he had no idea how to even help you get over something as gut wrenching as this. While sitting, thinking of ways to help you there's was a knock at the door "who the hells at my door this damn early" he mumbled grumpily. He quietly walked over to the front door, careful of the creaky floor boards as not to disturb your slumber. He opened the front door and his body froze at who was at the other end

"hey Bobby" an all to familiar voice said, Bobby didn't say a word, he just splashed the Dean lookalike with holy water "I'm not a demon" 'Dean' told him, spitting water from inside his mouth, "it's me Bobby, I don't know how... but it's me. I'm back!" Dean said moving to come into the house "not so fast" Bobby said roughly, putting his hand out to stop him from entering the threshold, with his free hand he pulled out his silver knife, "dean rolled his eyes and held his arm out "I'm not a shifter either Bobby" Bobby chuckled as he slid the blade against Deans arm, bleeding normally and not burning Dean the way it would a shifter

Bobby threw the knife to the ground pulling the man into a hug "it's good to see you son" Dean relaxed in his hold, finally feeling safe after years of torture "it's good to see you too Bobby"

"Is she here?" Dean questioned looking around for any sign of you "she's asleep on the couch... she hasn't been doing to good" deans head snapped towards him "how has she been?" Dean asked worried. Bobby sighed "let's go take a seat, we've got a lot to talk about..." Dean followed him to the mic then and listened to everything he said and by the end he was seething

"Sam left? when did he leave?" Dean ran a stressed hand over his face "day after we buried you. Y/N was pretty broken up about it... she's been through a lot since you died. She exercised over a dozen demons because they wouldn't make a deal with her?, and paid a couple witches for a spell that didn't do a damn thing, I'm guessing I don't gotta spell it out for ya" Dean nodded his head solemnly "I begged her not to do something stupid to bring me back. When I knew I wants getting out of it I begged her to promise me she'd move on, quit hunting, settle down and even have a couple of kids running around" Bobby laughed out loud at this

"Now Dean let me ask ya, if it was Y/N who made the deal and died, would you have quit hunting and moved on?" Dean looked at baby his eyebrows screwed together "that's different-" "how's it different? Oh what? Cause it's you that died and not her? Grow up princess, cause she's gonna tear ya a new one if you tell her any of that crap!" Bobby told him seriously, Dean nodded at the man's words knowing he was right, ever since you've known Dean- before you were even dating you'd rip into him if he dared belittle himself in front of you, it was part of the reason Dean loved you so much.

They weren't talking 20 minutes before you woke up. You stretched your arms above your head as you let out a long yawn "Bobby? You still here?" You called out, looking around it looked like you were alone. Your eyebrows furrowed together when you caught sign of the bloody knife on the ground.

You pulled the blade from the bookcase you kept stashed in case of emergency, on high alert you quietly wandered through the house.

Deans eyes snapped to Bobby at the sound of your voice "I'll go talk to her" he rushed to get up but a hand on his arm stopped him "no. You wait here, I'll talk to her, explain what's going on, if she sees her dead fiancé in here no explanation she's gonna flip out" Dean nodded knowing he was right, from what he heard of your life the last three months you'd kill him before he could talk to you.

"Y/N, we gotta talk about something real important, c'mere" you furrowed your brows lowering your blade "what's going on Bobby?" Bobby sighed "it's best if you take a seat" Bobby took the blade and placed it on the table away from your reach "you're kinda freaking me out right now" you told him with a small teasing smile "Y/N... deans back" tears welled up in your eyes blurring your vision "no he's n-not, you c-can't do this to me, I can't take it please Bobby" your voice came in sorts as you struggled to get the words out "I'm tellin' the truth, he's back. It's really him, he's in the kitch..." Bobbys words trailed off as you had already took off to the kitchen

"Dean?" You called frantically as you neared the kitchen, rushing to get up Dean met you at the opening, a shy smile and sad look in his eyes "hi sweetheart" you couldn't stop the sob that excised your throat as you ran into his open arms,

Instantly catching you, Dean hoisted you up so your legs wrapped around his hips, your hands cupped his cheeks, you pulled him into a deep kiss letting your emotions pour through into the kiss. You pulled back only when the need for oxygen became to great, leaning your forehead against Dean's, tears pouring down both your faces "how? How is this possible?" You whispered against his lips "I don't know, I woke up ... crawled out from the ground, went to a gas station a-and things just started going crazy, radios turned on by themselves and all the glass smashed... I'm thinking that could have something to do with this..." Dean confessed, his hands around you not letting go, if anything he pulled you closer to him "I don't care right now... I just care that your back, your here with me" you said pressing a small gentle kiss to his lips.

——— a few hours later———

Dean lay flat on his back on the bed you had taken residency in , you tucked tightly against his side with your head on his chest, his fingers running up and down your arm, creating goosebumps in their wake "you still wear the ring?" Dean questioned as the diamond on your finger rested on his chest caught his eyes "yeah, it was honestly the only thing keeping me really grounded the last 4 months, just knowing how close we were to being... you know" you said softly, Dean hummed in response using his free hand to take your hand in his "I think we should go for it" stunned your look up from his chest "go for it, as in we should get married?" Dean chuckled smirking at you

"Yeah. I think we should do it, I want to be able to call you my wife" you couldn't help the smile that broke through "I want to be able to call you my husband. Let's do it, let's get freaking married" Dean laughed, he pulled you up so that your lips were inches from his, leaning his forehead to yours, your breath coming one as his lips brushed against yours as he spoke "i love you so much baby" your lips pulled into a giddy smile

"I love you too De, more than anything" finishing with a deep kiss to his plump yet chapped lips, groaning lowly Dean pushed you back against the pillows, his lips never leaving yours as he hovered above you, never pulling away from the kiss

Deans hand moved lower as he pinched your butt making you laugh, taking advantage Dean slipped his tongue into your mouth drawling a breathy koan from you. You wrapped your legs around deans hips pulling him closer so that his bulge was pressed against your now soaking core "I really need you baby... it's been so fucking long" you confessed breathlessly gassing his lips "your gonna have me sweetheart, every damn way you want me" Dean grunted into you ear, sucking his way down your neck, making your eyes roll

arching your back yup from the bed, Dean makes quick work to pull your shirt off your body, revealing your bare breasts to him "damn no bra sweetheart?" Dean said icing his lips at the sight "well I wasn't exactly expecting to have sex today, otherwise I'd have wore that little red set that ya like so much" you flirted, pulling at deans own shirt hinting do him to take it off "oh don't threaten me with a good time sweetheart... that little red set is going to be torn right off the first night of our honeymoon" Dean pulled his shirt off throwing it behind him, not giving a man where it landed.

Your eyes landed on the prominent hand print on his shoulder, your eyes widen in shock "dean oh my god- I" dean was quick to shush your worried murmurs with a soft kiss "I don't know what it is baby, but I promise it doesn't hurt, it's been there since I crawled out the hole. I think it has something to do with how I'm out" you nodded in understanding, still not feeling totally okay with it "baby we should tell Bobby maybe he has idea on what it is?" Dean shook his head a small smile on his lips "later beautiful... right now I just wanna be with you" Dean replied, kissing his way down your neck making sure to spend time at your sweet spot behind your ear, drawing out soft whimpers from your lips.

Dean made quick work of removing both your pants leaving you both bare "I can't wait to taste you again" Dean said with a sultry voice, licking and sucking his way to your aching cunt, just waiting for him to abuse it. "Baby I really need you to fuck me now, foreplay later" you said pulling him back up closer "you sure?" Dean asked letting his fingers move down south, your threw your head back in pleasure as his fingers teased your entrance, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit "oh god! Dean please- I need you inside me" you begged

Dean chuckled darkly taking his fingers, now soaked in your arousal and sucking them "damn you taste so fucking good" Dean smirked as you rolled your eyes playfully "do you have a condom?" He questioned as he lined his cock up to your dripping entrance "no i haven't actually had sex since well you know, and we used the last condom we had in Bobby's last years Fourth of July" you said with a smile at the old memory "you haven't... with anyone else?" Dean questioned, shaking your head "Dean Winchester, you are the only man I will ever love love, I don't care about meaningless sex, I'd much rather be making love to the man I'm going to marry" deans cheeks heated up at your confession "I love you Y/N Y/L/N, we'll soon to be Y/N Winchester" he'd an corrected making your heart skip a beat

"Well for now we have two options" Dean nodded "what options do we have sweetheart?" You looped your arms around his neck pulling him closer so that you could peck his lips "well you could go ask Bobby for a co-" Dean quickly cut you off "no, nope, not happening" he said quickly making you laugh "well, we could risk it... I mean I'm clean- obviously and I know you are, so what do you think?" You asked, biting your lip in anticipation "I think we should definitely risk it beautiful... besides if it did happen, we'd make some kick ass kids" dean joked making you laugh "you make a great point Mr Winchester" "why thank you soon to be Mrs Winchester" Dean smirked

He wrapped your legs higher up his waist so you were spread wider, Dean pushed his tip in slowly, your breath getting caught in your throat as the pain of the stretch coursed through you "you okay baby?" Dean questioned worried "yeah I'm okay, just gotta get used to your size again" you confessed knowing damn well you were only feeding his ego "don't worry baby, I'll take real good care of ya" Dean said biting his lip to stop himself from loosing control so fast

Dean continued to push him self inside you, inch by inch, your face contorted into pain, it felt like you were loosing your virginity all over again. "God you're so fucking tight!" Dean groaned loudly when he bottomed out "tell me when your ready" dean told you as he started to rub your clit to take your mind away from the sting of his stretch, he lowered his head to your chest, taking your breast into his mouth sucking and nibbling at your nipple making you cry out in pleasure "please move" you said through laboured breaths

Dean obligated and started to thrust his hips slowly. He pulled almost all the way out before slowly pushing into you again, you gripped his arms dragging your nails down them leaving behind small red lines "faster baby please" you cried out as he hit you G spot, Dean chuckled before he picked up the pace, his hips getting into a quick rhythm as he started to slam into you, soon the only sound in the room was skin slapping and the sound of both your laboured breathing, "oh god! I don't think I'll last long" Dean groaned out knowing his end was near

"Me either" Dean grabbed your legs, moving them so that they were over his shoulders, allowing him to hit a much deeper spot inside you, you screamed his name in ecstasy when you felt that knot in your belly tighten "Dean I'm gonna cum" Dean smirked, he started to rub your sensitive pearl quickly pushing you off the edge, screaming his name like a prayer as your orgasm flourishes through you, "wait something's not- oh god" you tried to say but it was too late, your eyes had rolled to the back of your head, your juices rushing out of you and covering Dean's cock and stomach. Dean groaned loudly, his hips stuttering as his own release took him by surprise, his white hot cum coating your walls, his trusts slowing down before coming to a stop

Eventually Dean pulled out of you making you whimper, he laid down beside you, pulling you into your original spot before "holy shit" he turned to look at you, both your body's were covered in sheer sweat "yeah that was incredible... i can't believe i freaking squirted on you" you said with a laugh hiding your face into his chest in embarrassment

Dean noticed right away pulling you to look at him "hey, that was the hottest thing that has ever happened in the history of sex, in fact, I'm gonna aim to get you to do it a hell of a lot more, so be ready gorgeous, it's gonna be a long time of making up" Dean promised making your heart flutter

"well have to hunt down Sam so he knows your back" Dean nodded "I'll go talk to Bobby , knowing him he knows exactly where he is" you nodded against his chest , Dean running his fingers through your hair, making you grow more tired, normally you would just let Dean lull you to sleep, it was one the things you guys did after sex, however this time was different, you were terrified to wake up... and realise it was all a dream, if that happened you really don't know what you would do, you didn't even want to think about that. "we should get going soon, don't wanna burn any daylight" you told him, bouncing up from your previous position, Dean's face scrunched into a look on confusion as he pulled you back down to him "sweetheart it's still early, it's not even 10am, we can get a hour or two of sleep" Dean placed his fingers under your chin, urging your to look at him through your tear glazed eyes

"I don't want to go to sleep... I'm afraid this is all going be one big dream" you started before closing your eyes and taking a shaky inhale "I just don't know what I would do if this right here, wasn't real" Dean nodded, holding you closer to him "Y/N" he paused to wipe the tears that had started to fall from your eyes "baby. I promise you that I am not going anywhere, I'm back... for good. Trust me, take a nap and I'll be right here when you wake up" Dean finished his sentence with a peck on your lips. You let out a shaky breathe and nodded, letting yourself lay back down against him, he wrapped his arms around you just like before, only this time he started humming 'hey Jude' knowing damn well that you would out cold after.

Dean smiled down at you as he watched you sleep. He watched the way your lips parted, a small line of drool escaping down and landing on his chest, Dean would chuckle if he wasn't so afraid of waking you up. Bobby told him all about how little you'd been sleeping and eating and he was worried sick. When he died this isn't what he wanted, he wanted you to move on and start a family and live the white picket fence life. Now with Dean being back, he's gonna do everything he can to give you the best version of that life he can.

——— a few hours later———

It was 12:37pm by the time you stirred awake, and for once in the last 4 months you actually felt well rested, you didn't feel sluggish or have a constant headache. The only problem was you were terrified to open your eyes, you didn't want to face reality... not yet.

"You awake sweetheart" you opened your eyes instantly, looking up you locked eyes with a the beautiful pair of green eyes you knew and loved "your really home" you couldn't stop the smile that spread across your lips almost painfully, "I told you I'd be right here beautiful" Dean told you, placing his hands on either side of your face to draw you in, allowing him to press a kiss to the top of your head, you giggled leaning into his touch "we should get up, we have a lot to do" you climbed off Dean, and started to pull your clothes back on.

"Well I've got a lead on Sammy" Dean called, his eyes looking up from the laptop and finding your own, you nodded urging him to continue "Pontiac, Illinois" you furrowed your brows "what's he doing in Pontiac?" You asked confused "no idea, I've been looking I don't see anything case related. I think if we start making tracks we could be there by tonight" Dean suggested, "sounds good baby let's get going" you aggressive, Dean taking your hand with a smile as he led you to the front door "hey geniuses... how you planning on getting there without a car"

Dean stopped dead in his tracks making you bump into him slightly, he turned slowly with a forced smile on his plump lips, "Bobby, any chance I could borrow your car?" You chuckled at his robot like question, "not a damn chance. I'll drive" Bobby said with his usual light gruff tone, Dean nodded and squeezed your hand tightly in his "you got it Bobby" you smiled up at the older man who nodded down at you. Dean noticed the small interaction and smiled, the love of his life getting along so incredibly with true man he looked to as his father figure, "hey sweetheart, how bout you go and get comfortable in the car I gotta do something really quick" Dean told you pressing a quick kiss to your lips

Once you were in Bobbys truck Dean turned to the older hunter "hey Bobby, I know this whole day has been pretty freaking nuts, but I haven't had a chance to thank you for taking care of Y/N while I wasn't around" Bobby snorted "son haven't ya learned anything, family don't end with blood. That goes for you, Sam and Y/N" Dean chuckled pulling the man into a hug "thanks Bobby" Bobby responded by clapping the younger man's back in a tight hug "let's go get your brother".

"Wait stop! there's baby" you yelled from the back seat, Bobby planted the brakes in the empty street, Botha men's Turing to look where you were pointed "aw baby you the best thing I've seen in- Ouch!" dean yelped rubbing the back of his head "sorry sweetheart... I mean your the second best thing I've seen in a long time" Dean corrected, "alright let's go find him before you say something else stupid" Bobby said making you nod in agreement "wise words" you quipped at him making Dean chuckle.

"Hi there I'm looking for my boyfriend.... We got into a real nasty fight and I just wanna talk to him, he's the guy driving the 69 Chevy impala, he's real tall- bout 6'4 longish hair" you lied to to the motel receptionist "yeah we got a guy here fitting that description, but uh we don't usually give out our guests information or room numbers" the older women told you hinting for money. Rolling your eyes you slammed a twenty on the desk "ah Mr smith, he's in room 18 he's got some company though. Not too sure you'd want to see that" the women said in a monotone voice "yeah alright thanks" you said, feigning anger before walking back out to Dean and Bobby "he's in room 18 and... he's not alone. I played the sad girlfriend who just wants her boyfriend back bit and she said he has company, so be prepared for that" you told both men quietly

The three of you quickly made your way to Sam's door, taking a deep breath before knocking. Not seconds later did a (thankfully...?) fully clothed Sam Winchester open the door to you slightly"Y/N? What are you doing here? How'd you find me" he questioned curious but non the less pulled you into a hug "we'll see funny thing happened... pleased don't freak out" Sam gave you a worried look nodding slowly

"Heya Sammy..." dean said stepping back from his hiding place behind the door. Within seconds Sam had him pinned to the wall inside the room, knife pinned to his neck "what are you" Sam yelled pushing the knife right enough to deans neck to draw blood "Sam stop it!" You shrieked trying to pull the hunter away "stop what?! It's obviously a shifter" Sam yelled back at you "Sam listen to us it's not! It's Dean, I promise you, it's Dean... our Dean" you assured him "Sam it's really me" Dean said gently pushing Sam's hand from his neck

Sam quickly through the knife to the ground, pulling his brother into a tight hug, you smiled at the sight, finally feeling truly reunited.

"I can't believe it's really you man... how? How did this happen?" Sam questioned making Dean shrug his shoulders "don't give me that. What did it cost you?" Dean said accusingly, "what are you talking abo- oh the girl, I don't pay man" Sam said with a small laugh "I mean to pull me out the pit Sam." Dean had his arms crossed across his chest looking at his brother, you'd actually forgotten turned your attention to Sam who looked shocked

"I tried but they uh, they wouldn't take my soul. I even tried opening the gates but nothing worked" Sam confessed taking a seat at the end of the motel bed "they wouldn't take mine either. I even offered a day but it still wasn't good enough for them" you confessed to both boys. It wasn't necessarily something you were hiding from Dean, more so protecting him from the truth. You were sure Bobby told him most of it, but hell even Bobby didn't know that last part "what?" Dena questioned his tone filled with sorrow and slight anger

"Well you were gone Dean. I wanted you back, and if that mean only having one more day with you. It would have been worth every drop of my soul" you confessed to Dean, his green eyes brimming slightly with tears "baby, that's-" "not what you made me promise? Yeah I know but you and I both know if it was me dragged to the pit you'd have went through every demon in the United States and Europe to get me back. God forbid I do the same" you told him firmly, not leaving any room for Dean to argue with you

Dean closed his eyes in exasperation and took a sharp inhale, turning his attention to Sam "so you didn't make a deal or anything?" Sam shook his head "like I said. Demon wouldn't do it and no witch would hear me out. It killed me knowing you were rotting in hell, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. And I'm sorry it wasn't me Dean, I'm really sorry " sam said now standing his tone sad but firm like he was holding back all his anger, Dean shook his head "don't be sorry Sammy, and don't you be sorry either" Dean turned pointed an accusatory finger at you "I made the choice to sell my soul. I'm not sorry I done it, I did what I had to do to bring you back. The only thing I'm sorry about is the crap you two have gone through, I didn't want this for either of you." he was honestly starting to freak out internally at this point, before he knew it wasn't you who got him out of hell, he thought it had to be his brother. But now? Now he didn't know who or what the hell pulled him from the pit

"That's-"

"Oh sorry" all three of your heads snapped towards the bathroom, you'd actually forgotten the receptionist did say that Sam had company, and judging by the look on Sam's face... so did he, " I didn't realise there was people here, I'm just gonna... yeah" the girl with dark hair in a pair of short pyjamas said awkwardly moving to grab her clothes before going back into the bathroom to change "nice work Sammy" Dean commented putting his fist out towards his brother who gave him a 'are you serious' kind of look "oh come on. Don't leave me hanging" Dean complained shaking his fist in dramatics, sam rolled his eyes giving into his whining.

"Well Ill see you later" the girl flirted with Sam who now stood at the door "yeah sure Kathy" Sam said, a flash of hurt came across her face "it's Kristy" Sam nodded at her correction "okay" she scoffed turning on her heel and stomping down the hall. "Oh real smooth Sam" you joked with a smirk "yeah that was probably a jerk move wasn't it?", "the biggest sweetie" you confirmed "but hey we have some news" Sam's eyes brows shot up in concern "what news?" He asked worried "we're getting married" you told him smiling as Dean came behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist

Big smile broke across Sam's face before he pulled you both into a hug "that's amazing guys. I'm so happy for you both" you patted Sam's back in a loving manner "thanks Sammy" Dean said pulling back from the embrace "when are you guys gonna do it?" You and Dean turned to look at each other both thinking the same thing "as soon as possible".

"I think we should go to the courthouse in the morning get our marriage license and then do it then, what do you think" you asked Dean from the back of the impala following Bobby back to his house "I don't know sweetheart, i still think we should go all out, get you a nice dress- hell I'll even put on a nice suit, Sammy could be my best man, Bobby could even walk you down the isle" Dean said his eyes meeting yours in the mirror "we can still do that at the courthouse, I could go get a nice dress first, then we can meet at the courthouse, you wouldn't even see me in the dress before the wedding, that way no bad luck?" You suggested, hoping he'd take it. You wanted to be married to him as soon as possible and if that meant courthouse wedding? You'd take it

Dean smirked at you through the mirror "alright sweetheart you got yourself a wedding date." You giggled at his words, four months ago this kind of thing was not possible, you'd watched the man you loved die, just like that, but now with him back and said he wanted to marry you, you wanted to do it right then and then. If Bobby was an ordained minister you'd have had him marry you two this morning but hey one day later wouldn't matter, not when you have him back home for good.

Once back at Bobbys in the middle of the night you all sat around trying to organise everything "so who we asking?" You made out the words from deans mouth as he talked with the pen in it, " well I was thinking us and we could ask ellen , Jo and ash but they might not be able to make the drive in such short notice" you said as you laid a few beers out on the table "well wouldn't hurt to ask, I'll give Ellen a call now" Sam told you pulling out his phone, heading outside so he could hear "hey Bobby what about rufus?" Dean called to the man stood at the sink sipping his beer "you could try, but I don't think that idjit will come" Bobby mumbled out

Dean laughed and pulled out his phone "who is it?" That familiar annoyed tone of rufuses came through "hey rufus it's Y/N, Y/L/N, I was calling to see if you wanted to come to Dean and is wedding tomorrow?" A loud laugh erupted from the other end of the phone "HA, you must take me as a damn fool, I know for a fact Dean Winchester is dead, so how bout you tell me watcha are and we can end this quickly" Dean and you laughed as Bobby rolled his eyes from where he was stood "ya stupid son of a bitch Rufus, Deans back, it's something we have to figure out but for right now these two idjits are tying the knot tomorrow, then right after we'll tackle that" Bobby called down the phone having seen he needed to take over before Rufus threatened to come put a bullet in your damn heads

"Dean Winchesters back? Well now I've gotta see this. I'll be there." And with that he hung up, Dean shrugged his shoulders "well guess Rufus is coming".

"Ellen said they can't come, but they said on the way to your honeymoon stop by and get a free drink" Sam announced as he came back inside the house "Rufus said he's coming, I think it's more to see a dead man walking than to see a wedding" Sam shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head "yeah that's Rufus"

"Alright, well Im gonna go look for a nice dress... any chance I could borrow your truck Bobby?" You asked batting your eyes, it didn't take long for Bobby to break slightly "alright, how bout this. I take to town then after I'll drive ya to the courthouse" your eyes lit up , it was perfect, if Bobby did this for you then you wouldn't see Dean until the wedding. you thanked him quickly with a hug before turning and giving Dean a quick peck to his lips "I love you, and I will see you soon" Dean's lips pulled into a smirk as he pulled you into a deeper kiss "I'll see you soon beautiful" .

"Hey Sammy , which suit you think I should wear ?" Dean questioned, looking down at three of his 'FBI' suits he had packed in the car for emergency's. Sam walked in, his arms crossed across his chest "dean you need an actual good suit" Sam said with a laugh, Dean looked back at him a knowing look on his face "yeah I know, you're right. C'mon, let's go" Dean grabbed the keys and headed out the door, Sam following close behind.

"Alright how about that one" Dean asked pointed towards a deep blue suit with a light 'champagne' colour tie "yeah that looks awesome dude, Y/N will love it" Sam said assuring his brother "yeah your probably right, I'll get it. It can be my one and only good suit cause I'll tell ya 100 bucks for a suit is daylight robbery, specially when our usual suits for $30 can be just as good" Dean said in a matter fact way, Sam just hummed in response following his brother to the checkout line.

"Alright how about this one" you asked Bobby who was currently sat in the dressing room chair his chin resting on his hand as he watched you pull out 10 different dresses "I like it" he said bored "you've said that bout all of them" you told him, putting the dress to the side "please Bobby I really need your honest opinion, if you hate it you gotta tell me please" Bobby sighed, sitting up straight "alright I will. I promise go try on the next on" you sighed the nerves were actually getting to you now, you felt like every dress made you look ugly, and when you finally saw Dean then he'd see how you looked, realised you made a mistake and run off

You took a deep breath as you looked at the last dress you'd brought in, it was a short white dress, with lightly laced details on the sleeves that went halfway down the arms. It was your favourite you'd looked at, and now that Bobby was paying more attention maybe he'd confirm what you already felt.

Taking a shaky inhale in you push back the curtain and walking towards Bobby, who was thankfully looking like he was really looking at the dress, his mouth flew open as he saw you "wow Y/N, you look beautiful" Bobby said his voice full of awe "really? You like it?" You asked worried, looking at yourself in the mirror ready to find any flaws "deans eyes are gonna fly out his damn head when he sees you kid" Bobbys voice raw from his own emotion, who could blame him he's known you for a long time, he's just watched you go through the worst tragedy of your life only for it to turn around and everything fall into place, and god dammit he couldn't be happier for you. Even if there was a lingering sense of worry and fear of what was going to happen next.

"I got it" Bobby told you, pushing your hand with cash in it away "Bobby it's o-" Bobby cut you off "nope. You're not buying your own wedding dress" Bobby told you handing the women at the cashier 200 dollars "well, we've got your dress and your shoes what's next?" You thought for a moment before smiling "nothing, just gotta do a little make up and fix my hair a little, then I'm ready" Bobby nodded following you back out to the truck. "Alright I'll take ya back home, you get ready I'll call the boys and let em know it's almost go time."

Bobby said as though he was planing your next case making you laugh "alright il be quick and then we can head towards city hall" you started to jog up the stairs before you turned and looked at Bobby who was texting Sam "hey Bobby" he looked up from his phone and caught you at the bottom of the stairs "I know it's not the most traditional wedding... but uh would you walk me 'down the isle' to Dean" you asked making quotation marks with your fingers as it's not exactly an isle more of a small walk to Dean. it's something you've been waiting to ask him since Dean asked you to get married. Bobbys eyes rimmed with tears as he walked over to the bottom of the stairs case, pulling you into a warm hug "of course I will. It'd be my honour to walk you down 'the isle'" Bobby pulled away from the hug sniffing slightly "aw Bobby are you tearing up on me" you teased making the old man straighten up quickly "no- course not" you have him incredulous look making him break "oh alright ya got me. You kids are getting married! of course I'm getting sappy" Bobby confessed making you laugh "now get you ready well be going soon" Bobby reminded you.

you quickly took off up the stairs to get ready. Pulling out your bag of makeup that was untouched for months, you did a simple look, you hated the feeling of heavy makeup over your skin while you hunted, and because hunting was unpredictable with cases you just came to live the light makeup- no makeup look. Once you sat down your brushes you decided to pull on your dress first so it didn't mess your hair up- even if it was a simple curl in your hair, you didn't want it to come undone messing with it too much. Thankfully your dress didn't have any buttons or zips it was just easy to put it on with no help.

"You ready?" You heard Bobby call from the bottom of the stairs. You took one last look in the mirror, your hands were starting to sweat, you were nervous, like really nervous. After today you would be a married woman, you'd no longer be Y/N Y/L/N, you'll be Y/N Winchester. You couldn't help but smile at the thought, you knew you were ready, all that was left was to meet your future husband at the alter "coming Bobby". Taking a deep breath you leave the room "you look beautiful" Bobby smiled up at you making you let out a shaky giggle "thanks Bobby, for everything" he nodded motioning you to come down "you don't ever have to thank me for nothing, especially when it came to having you here. I never thought I'd have kids after my wife, but then came Sam and Dean, they became my sons and then Dean met you, and you became like a daughter to me. I would do any damn thing for any one of ya idjits" you waved your hands at your face as you felt the tears sting your eyes "oh god I'm gonna cry" you chocked out trying to stop yourself from ruining your make up "oh crap! See this is why I don't get sappy!".

Bobby and you were now on your way to city hall, you felt your heart pound against your chest with every passing minute "what's got you so nervous?" Bobby asked, noticing the fact your eyes were unfocused out the window, as though you were fighting the thoughts in your head. His voice startling you to a jolt, placing a hand on your heart to try and calm it, you turned to smile at him "nothing particularly... it's just, we just got Dean back out of nowhere... after four months and I know we're rushing into our wedding but I'm just terrified I'm getting myself all happy and my hopes up and some demon is just gonna rip him back to hell and this all a some sick joke- the more I say out loud the more ridiculous I realise I sound" your said through a chuckle, turning your gaze to the trucks floor "hey now, it's not ridiculous. Dean was dead for months, I mean you and Sam watched him-" Bobby caught the look of pain on your face and stopped himself from finishing the last part

"what I mean is. It wasn't like Dean was found after being lost for months, and i wouldn't buy it past the black eyed bastards to do something like that-"

"Do you think this is all gonna blow up in my face?" You asked quietly, scared of Bobbys answer "I don't think this will blow up in your face, because I don't think this was the work of demons, I think there's something else at play here and we'll have to look more into it after today, but for now, you go in get married and have the best day of your life" Bobby confessed as he pulled into the parking lot, pulling into the spot before baby which was of course empty " thank you Bobby" you told him sincerely "alright let's gets get you married!"

Walking in you see all the other couples getting registered to get married, some older some as young as 18 but so in love it didn't even matter. Spotting Sam at the bottom of the hall waiting outside the door in which you assumed Dean was behind, waiting for you

"Heya Sammy" Sam's eyes darted around at the sound of your voice, widening in awe at the sight of you, "wow Y/N, you look beautiful" you smiled at Sam's compliment "thanks sweetie... is he uh- is he in there?" You asked your voice wavering slightly Sam nodded

"Be honest, how badly is Dean freaking out right now" you pressed making the younger Winchester chuckle “well I wouldn’t say he’s freaking out that bad considering he’s well… Dean. He’s excited, honest” he promised when he saw your sceptical look “well I’d say he’s feeling exactly how I’m feeling” Sam nodded “yeah. Honestly you guys have been practically an old married couple forever, all y’all are doing now is making it official”, “I guess you have a point, your brother and I have come a long way, it’s about time we made it official” you agreed. Bobby linking his arm through your own as you took a deep breath “you ready?” Looking up to him you smiled “I’ve never been more ready for anything” you admitted

Sam opened the door , holding it open for Bobby and you, the air was practically knocked out your lungs when you caught a glimpse of him stood talking to the officiant and Rufus who was sat at the front row, you couldn’t help but think he looked pretty hot in that suit and how you couldn’t wait to get it off him later... “alright I’ll go tell him it’s to time and your ready” Sam told you, jogging up the isle to his brother. From where you were stood Dean couldn’t see you, but you could see him. His head turned toward the open door, winding his neck to try and catch even the slightest glimpse of you “dude what are you doing?” Sam asked making Dean stumble forward in shock “dammit Sammy! don’t sneak up on a guy on his wedding day” Dean told him, dramatically placing his hand over his heart “are we ready gentlemen?” The officiant asked, Dean nodded “absolutely” Sam clapped his hand on his brothers shoulder “I’m really proud of you man” dean looked back slightly “thanks Sammy”

The music started to play- that was your queue “alright darling, it’s time” you could barely hear Bobby talking over the kind of the music and the beat of your heart deafening you, you just nodded allowing Bobby to direct you into the room, your eyes immediately locking onto deans, his smile widened as he saw you, he couldn’t take his eyes away from you as Bobby led you to the front, “hey beautiful” how said lowly when you made it to him his hand reaching out for you “thanks Bobby”, Bobby didn’t loosen his grip just yet “now Dean ya know your like my own son, but let me tell ya, if you ever do anything to hurt her, and I mean any damn thing, I will hunt you down kick your damn ass” Bobby warned his cold face holding deans slightly scared one “I promise I won’t Bobby, she’s safe with me” Dean promised taking your hands in his and pulling you to the stand before him

“Today we have come together to watch the union between Miss Y/F/N, Y/L/N and Dean Winchester, I’ll now ask have either you wrote vows” he asked looking between both you and Dean, “oh crap” you gasped “I forgot to write vows” dean chuckled “don’t worry sweetheart, I didn’t either. I didn’t need too, I know exactly what I wanna say” you nodded urging him to continue

Dean took your hands in his, holding them as he looked into your eyes “Y/N, the day I met you something in me shifted, I wasn’t the guy to have his world revolve around one girl, but you changed that, even before I asked you to be my girlfriend, if you so much as mentioned something you wanted, I was gone, it could have been as small as a candy bar or as big as a new phone. The best day of my life was the day you said yes to being my girlfriend, it’d taken some time, I had to get you to trust that I was serious about this and that it wouldn’t ruin our friendship, and now look at us 4 and a half years down the line and we’re still best friends only better now- I guess what I’m trying to say sweetheart is, I love you, more than anything, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you” Dean finished

Your eyes wedding filled with tears that threatened to spill with deans every word “damn that was good” you croaked out with a giggle “okay, my turn” you told him composing yourself slightly to be able to talk “Dean, I can honestly say that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you make each day brighter than the last- when I- I lost you for a while-” your voice broke in between “I just didn’t know what to do with myself, but when you came back, and I could physically feel you it just made everything better, because that’s what you do Dean Winchester, you make everything better, it’s one of the many reasons I love you baby, so damn much. Im the luckiest girl in the world because i have you, and everything that comes with you” you turned to acknowledge everyone who was bordering tears- minus Rufus who what gave you a kind nod “i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving you either” you finished your voice wavering once again

Deans own emotions were sky high, he wasn’t big on crying in front of you but he couldn’t stop the tear that made its way down his cheek, reaching your hand out you wipe it away, you hand lingering for a moment as you just stared into each others eyes, it was like everyone else was gone, it was just you and Dean here in this moment together. It wasn’t until the officiants voice pulled you both from the trance “Dean, do you take Y/N, Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, from this day forward for as long as you both shall live?” Deans eyes never left you his lips turned up into a smirk “I do”

“Y/N, do you take Dean to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, from this day forward for as long as you both shall live?” You nodded your head quickly “I do” you croaked out “can we have the rings please” Sam rushed forward with the rings you and Dean had gotten each other earlier today “as you place this ring on your partners finger, please repeat after me” Dean nodded grabbing the small diamond incrusted ring Sam had in his hand “Y/N, with this ring I pledge my love for you, for now and forever” Dean repeated placing the ring along side your engagement ring

Taking the gold ring Bobby had helped you pick out earlier today “Dean, with this ring I pledge my love for you, for now and forever” you repeated, you shaking hands placing Deans ring on his finger

“Congratulations, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride” the officiant said, the second the words left his lips Dean was dipping you down dramatically, his lips finding yours immediately as he held you tightly, Bobby and Sam erupted into cheers as Rufus sat and clapped. Eventually Dean pulled you back to your feet, his lips only leaving yours when Sam coughed, alerting you both to everyone else in the room

Dean chuckled resting his forehead against yours, your breathing mingling together as you try and catch your breath from that kiss “hi Mrs Winchester” Dean said lowly so only you could hear “why hello Mr Winchester” you whispered back pulling him into another short kiss

“Congratulations” Sam said proudly, pulling you both into a warm hug “I’m so happy for the both of you” you laughed patting the younger Winchester on the back “thanks Sammy” you told him, pulling away from the hug “alright you hogged em’ enough, my turn” Bobby gridded out pulling you both into another hug “I’m real proud of you both ya know, who’d have thought the two kids I caught sneaking a kiss when they were teenagers would be getting Married now” Bobby joked, you cheeks going red at the old memory, you were mortified, Bobby grounded you both and gave Dean the talk, he was terrified to so much as Shane next to you for weeks after “oh god!” You mumbled embarrassed, hiding your face against deans arm

“Well consider me a fool, you really are back” Rufus commented from behind Bobby “yeah, I’ve been back like 2 days now. thanks for coming on short notice Rufus, it means a lot to us” Dean told him “yeah it really does, thank you” you told him going over to give the man a quick hug, you knew he wasn’t exactly the warmest of people. And certainly not a hugger “alright, I’m glad I came I seen something I never thought I’d see” Rufus commented “well I’m not one to show up without a wedding gift so here ya go” Rufus told Dean handing him a bottle Johnnie walker blue label Whiskey, deans eyes lit up “alright Rufus! This is how we’re gonna celebrate tonight” Dean commented happily.

“Wow you really went all out” you chuckled as you and Dean walked towards rhe impala, that now had cans tied along the bottom and ‘just married’ written on the back window “well I tied the cans on the bottom, and I hope- for Sam’s sake this come off easily or I’m gonna kill him” Dean said seriously, his arm tightening around you “aw come on baby, you know Sam’s not stupid. One drop of rain and it’ll wash away” you assured him pulling him by his stubbly cheeks down for a kiss, deans arms wrapped tightly around your hips, quickly moving down to your ass and grabbing roughly making you let out a pleasure filled moan against his lips

Reluctantly you pulled away “we’d better save this for somewhere a little more private” you suggested, you fingers playing with the small hairs at the neck of his neck as your arms rested around his shoulders “yeah I’d say we should, because as beautiful as you look in that dress- and believe me you look absolutely beautiful, but I think it would love even better on the floor of our room” Dean said biting his lip in thought making you laugh and swat his chest “alright Winchester , keep it in your pants till we get back” pulling him gently by his tie towards baby

Getting into the familiar leather seats, Dean pulls you to his side as baby roars to life, Metallica's ‘nothing else matters’ already on the radio “oh baby, you know us so well” Dean said thoughtfully before pulling out of the parking lot and taking off down the empty road, the fans tied to the back slamming off the ground as the two of you got lost in ecstasy of just being together. You looked up watching him, his smile wide as he was at his happiest, his girl by his side as he drove his baby, and you felt it, the pain of the last 4 months was finally gone, you fear of losing him again hurried deep as you just let yourself be here, together in this moment with your husband, Dean Winchester.

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ALL MY OWN WORK I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OR PUBLISH ON OTHER SITES , I.E WATTPAD, ETC, WITHOUT MESSAGING TO ASK FIRST

Hiiii, its been a while... I'm so sorry, i actually struggled pretty badly on this one, my boyfriend and i broke up literally right after Christmas after 2 years so i was in a pretty shitty way so writing went on the back burner, but thankfully, I'm out of the sad breakup pit and back in action :)))

also I'm thinking of starting a series, a rewrite of supernatural of Dean X reader, but I'm thinking on how to start... slow burn.. already dating? anyone have any ideas id love to hear them!!!

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