#rare kdj post from me i know

[orphiclovers]

Here's a headcanon/theory: Kim Dokja has been to therapy pre-scenarios.

There's a couple of reasons I think this. First, it's likely that as an underage witness of a murder he was assigned a child psychologist, at least for the duration of the case and court proceedings. And after he was adopted by his relatives, I think they would definitely recommend to take him to psychological counseling for the severe trauma he suffered at such a young age.

And they probably did. No matter how neglectful they might have turned out as Kim Dokja got older, they had accepted him and this would have been common sense, recommended to them by the court, and would reflect badly on them if they didn't follow through.

Second, he must have seen a psychiatrist after his suicide attempt as a teenager. Also an extreme scenario where there would be pressure on his relatives to do something about his mental health.

And thirdly, just the way he acts? Whenever he's in a stressful situation, his most common reaction is 'take deep breaths and staying calm'. He does this CONSTANTLY. Here's just some examples.

This FEELS like 'I've been to therapy and they taught me to do breathing exercises there'. His singular ability to stay calm during all kinds of stressful scenarios is one of the big reasons kimcom relies on him so much. And even when that fails and he has a flashback, when the Fourth Wall stabilizes him, the first thing he does is control his breathing again.

[kimdokjas]

tag games! 💌

i'm so late and i'm 100% sure i missed several of these because tumblr only keeps notifications for the last ??? who knows how many months. so sorry for the delay! i promise i wasn't ignoring them i genuinely just forgot 😭

edit: i had this drafted since january 18 and i forgot to post it. again 💀 i'm leaving it exactly as it was as a capsule in time for myself though

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tagged by @orviposition @karura @misakarose @hansooyung @milaghoul - thank you for the tag mira, may, tay, roy, and mila! 💕💕 these were actually three separate tag games but since they were really similar i decided to combine them!

tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties

favorite color: blue!

3 ships: yoohankim (orv), llojavi (tged), shiguang (sgdr)

first ship ever: merthur (? genuinely can't remember sorry my liege)

last song: IS - sue

currently listening to: dizzy bezerko album by unlike pluto (nothing but bangers it's insane)

last movie: children who chase lost voices (2011)

currently watching: sabikui bisco, a sign of affection, cherry magic, mr. villain's day off, solo leveling, 7th time loop, dungeon meshi

other stuff I watched this last year: my main obsessions were buddy daddies, trigun stampede, moriarty the patriot

shows I dropped this last year/didn't finish: i rarely drop shows but i had to pause to your eternity bc it was making me cry too hard lmaoo

currently reading: the greatest estate developer, sabikui bisco, lord of the mysteries, thriller trainee, and a bunch of manhwa/manhua

currently consuming: coffee (decaf bc caffeine is now poison to me)

currently craving: idk i think a cinnamon roll could fix me actually

currently working on: crocheting a snoopy-themed gift for my mom's bday!

current obsession: tged brainrot babeyyy

sweet/spicy/savory? savory!

relationship status: happily single amen

last thing I googled: ranjatai

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tagged by @aomitois thank you tem! 💞

Which feeling that has no name are you?

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tagged by @userfrieren thank you sm for tagging me jenna! 💖

alias/name: gaby

birthday: sep 3

zodiac: virgo

height: too tall

hobbies: reading novels, playing video games, making gifs

favourite colour: blue

favourite book: omniscient reader's viewpoint !!!!! it changed my life please read it i am on my knees

last song: 云与海 - 阿YueYue

last movie/show: the middle

recent read: i think the last thing i finished was mdzs (i say this when i haven't even managed to finish the extras lol)

inspiration: finding something that hits like orv is what keeps me going ngl

story behind url: idc if i have a kim dokja url i WILL beat the kdj kinnie allegations 💪

fun fact: i know at least the basics of 11 languages!

what’s the colour palette of your name?

(duplicated image for sizing) i actually love this! these are all colors that i would normally wear bc i'm a big fan of subdued shades with a slight touch of earth tones!

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tagged by @sugaaz and @hansooyung to do this picrew! thank you moon and roy 💕

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tagged by @koushuwu to do this picrew! tysm mica this was so cool! 💖

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tagged by @sawaisanna to post a wip - thank you malina! 💞

i don't have any edits in the works atm, but here's a wip from a fic i'll likely never post.

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top six reads of 2023

tagged by @tls123 - tysm francesca! 💖

global examination by 木苏里 *

devil venerable also wants to know by 青色羽翼

thriller trainee by 妄鸦 *

the book of disquiet by fernando pessoa

mist unlimited by 微风几许

camera lucida by roland barthes

(*) haven't finished these yet

first things first can i just point out how fucking funny it looks to list danmei and philosophical books together bc it's sending me 😭

i read relatively "few" books in 2023 but that's only because i spent the most time reading two monstrous books that unfortunately didn't make it to my top 6 :/ (iykyk)

it seems like 2023 was the year of narratives that break out of their confines, self-awareness, and deconstructing paradigms <3

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💫 preference 💫

tagged by @aomitois - tysm tem!

ancient or modern

bitter or sweet

chocolate or vanilla

coffee or tea

create or destroy

day or night

early bird or night owl

freckles or dimples

gold or silver

greek mythology or egyptian mythology

macarons or eclairs

hot or cold

thunder or lightning

typewritten or handwritten

secret garden or secret library

spicy or mild

dark magic or light magic

virtue or vice

ocean or desert

moon or stars

rough or smooth

mermaids or sirens

known or unknown

rain or snow

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tagging for any of these: (no pressure!) @icythot-bakubitch @ruanbaijie @feitanporter @itoshisae @dokjaism

@mudanonaito @himawaari @aroacehirano @mauxanhduong @apparently-artless

@72g @miyamiwu @focryst @justapieceintheirgames @smol-ackerman + anyone else who wants to join!

[arytha]

They were those who survived because of Kim Dokja or those who owed Kim Dokja.

“Anyone, does anyone know? Please say something! Master! How is Dokja ahjussi?”

The party members relied on their intuition to find someone who could explain the situation. However, the only person who could answer was silent. Yoo Jonghyuk was staring at the collapsed Dark Castle with his mouth shut.

Dark Castle collapsed, like history disappearing. Kim Dokja was in there. He died there.

Yoo Jonghyuk stared while confirming the fact over and over again.

Kim Dokja was dead. How could such a thing happen? Yoo Jonghyuk was unfamiliar with not knowing.

“Yoo Jonghyuk-ssi! Please say something! Please!”

Yoo Jonghyuk stared blankly at Lee Hyunsung who was shaking him. The first regression and second regression… he had never seen Lee Hyunsung make this face.

Yoo Jonghyuk rarely remembered the expressions that his party members made when they lost someone really precious. It was because he was always the one making such expressions. He was the only one who survived until the end of this tragedy and despair.

By the way, this life was different. There were still many people by his side. He was suffering through someone’s death with them.

“Yoo Jonghyuk-ssi!”

“Master!”

Everyone was staring at him. They wanted him to say that it wasn’t too late. Still, Yoo Jonghyuk couldn’t give an answer to these faces.

“I also don’t know.”

He destroyed their last remaining hope. Sadly, this was the role left to Yoo Jonghyuk.

“I don’t know what happened to Kim Dokja.”

In fact, he could tell them more. Banishment from the scenario. He could share the information he knew. Or maybe he could testify to the feeble hopes he might have.

However, Yoo Jonghyuk didn’t do this. He knew that talking about it would just be telling the party members,

‘Kim Dokja is dead. You can’t do anything for Kim Dokja.’

Some people said more by not speaking. A few people accepted Yoo Jonghyuk’s silence while others rejected it. Nevertheless, everyone understood the silence.

“Dokja hyung said so! He isn’t dead! He will live again! Then why…!”

“Yoo Jonghyuk-ssi! Please tell me how to save Dokja-ssi!”

Yoo Jonghyuk shook his head at Lee Gilyoung and Lee Hyunsung’s cries. If there was a way to save Kim Dokja, he would’ve already done it. There was nothing he could do. It wasn’t just him, it was everyone.

[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ feels a great emptiness.]

[The constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is lying down.]

[The constellation ‘Seo Ae Single Stroke of the Brush' has broken his brush.]

[The constellation ‘God of Wine and Ecstasy’ is looking at the abyss.]

.

.

[The constellations on the Korean Peninsula are mourning the death of one constellation.]

[The constellations on the Korean Peninsula remember someone’s name.]

Yoo Jonghyuk had never seen so many constellations talking about a single constellation. The arrogant constellations were expressing emotions other than frustration or pleasure.

I love that the person whose mind we're seeing post-kdj death is Yoo Jonghyuk. It feels like it cements things in a good way. Yeah there's no hope for Kim Dokja. Or perhaps there is, but the person that might know really doesn't. I love his mental comments on the constellations' reactions too