#HAHAHA i jest.

[henchburg]

okay which one of you put allen in Sexypedia

[woo-wahhhh]

[ the things i do for you–; let’s just say missing out on the limited edition tcg card of your boyfriend is a bit... devastating ]

“you’re crying.”

“no, i’m sniffling. my nose is clogged,”

“because you’re crying,”

“no, i’m sniffling because my nose is clogged. i said so,”

“no, you’re sniffling because your nose is clogged because you’re crying because you couldn’t get the limited edition tcg card... of me?” alhaitham’s voice had an edge of... well, in order to not sugarcoat it, judgement. he couldn’t fathom why a silly little illustrated piece of cardstock of him of all people was something to cry over.

on the other hand, kaveh, who was having the absolute time of his life over his roommates confused stupor, patted your back from across the tavern table in attempt to comfort you. 

“it’s alright!” he exclaimed boisterously as he handed you a hankerchief. it was your second, actually, since you’d ruined the first one alhaitham had given you before. “there’s better cards to get! besides, uh, do you really want to build a deck around... well, him?”

“says the guy who doesn’t even have a card made after him,” alhaitham shot back, only to garner a dramatic gasp for kaveh.

“i– listen here, you! up until today, you didn’t have a card either, so how are you better than me?!” he jabbed an accusatory finger at alhaitham, who barely flinched from beside you. 

“firstly, i never said i was better than you, though that is quite the astute observation on your part. i’m glad to see you’re growing your self awareness. and secondly, i am better than you in terms of the current subject because i do in fact have a card. you can try to argue, but your lack of cards sharing your likeness is simply irrefutable.”

the scarlet rage on kaveh’s face matched his red cape, and he slammed his fists down on the table. “you know what? i give up with you! good luck to you–,” he said to you, with considerably less ire, “– and good riddance to you!” he snapped at alhaitham. 

you watched as kaveh marched out through wet eyelashes. usually, you’d laugh a bit at their bickering, but the fact you couldn’t get ahold of the alhaitham tcg card did make you sad. it was a bit childish, but with a glass of wine warming up your throat, maybe you were a bit extra emotional. 

“... does the card matter that much?” alhaitham asked, ignoring kaveh’s departure completely. there was an uncharacteristic awkwardness in his voice, not because he was mocking you, but because of his genuine lack of understanding of your sorrow. “i’m right here.”

“yeah but like it’s cool.  i mean you’re cool too. but like, there’s only 10 of the cards, and only 5 of them have the holographic and gold detailing and it’s just so pretty...”

idly, he wondered if should be offended that you simply regarded him as cool as a holographic piece of cardstock.  

“but it’s simply a card. i’m sure it doesn’t have very good combat– er, tcg– prowess anyways.” even he flinched lightly when you dropped your forehead against the wooden table. one of the waiters looked over at you two with concern, but alhaitham simply shook his head. 

“yeah, but its a card of you! ugh, how do i say this in a way that makes sense?” you cried, making grabbing motions with your outstretched hands, despite not raising your head. he wordlessly passed you a glass of water. you didn’t drink it, but you lifted your head and pressed the cool surface against your forehead. 

“it’s priceless because it’s you. and you’re really cool, you know! cool enough to get a limited run of tcg cards made of you even though no one in this country knows jack shit about you! and it’s just lame that of all the people to not have the coolest card of you is me. and think about it! we don’t even have a kamera, so i don’t even have a picture of you.”

“you could get a portrait done,” he said pointedly, but you snorted.

“look me in the eyes, ‘haitham, that you’d pay money and sit down for someone to paint a portrait of you,”

he didn’t reply for a moment, humming quietly under his breath. at first glance, you would’ve assumed he was agreeing with you, but the careful glint in his eyes was that of careful consideration. 

“... if you’d like, we can do that.”

“huh?”

“did i stutter?” ah, there’s the signature bite. you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “you wanted a painting, didn’t you? we can get one done.” as he spoke, he was looking into your eyes, unwavering confidence in the emerald and rust. “and let’s make a deal, shall we? if you stop crying, and take care of the hassle of locating a genuine copy of the card, i’ll foot the cost and get it for you. how’s that sound?”

you looked like fish with how your mouth hung wide open, eyes widened with an unbridled kind of shock. alhaitham, decidedly, liked that look a lot. he much preferred it over your crying face and drunken stupor. he especially liked that you broke into an elated grin, all but throwing yourself at him. 

“thank you, thank you, thank you!” his face remained passive, calmly sipping his wine though his arm did snake around your waist so you didn’t fall out of your chair, even though he knew your embrace around his shoulders would probably provide enough stability. “don’t worry, i’ll do my best to look for one!”

“good,” alhaitham had a smug sort of smile playing on his lips as he finished off the last of his wine, before gently prying your hands away from him with an uncharacteristic sort of tenderness though he did keep ahold of your wrist as he stood up. “boss, put the bill on my tab if you would– not kaveh’s though. he only had a glass, i’m sure he can pay it off.”

he pulled you up, making sure you didn’t fall as you waved and he nodded at the owner, walking swiftly away. you giggled to yourself, knowing he’d been planning to leave for a while– alhaitham preferred a strict schedule after all, and he was a determined man who wanted to get his 8 hours in before work. 

“what?” he asked you, eyebrow arching up as you weaved through the streets, hand in hand. it seemed like you were staying at his home that night.

“no, i’m just wondering if you even knew where to find a painter who’d agree to sit down with you,” you chirped, laughing until you caught the smirk on his face. you peered at him curiously.

“oh, i don’t need to find one. what good is living with an artistic freeloader if not to get his services in exchange for shirking off a month’s rent?”

[sword-swordswordsknife]

[marked as mature due to mature stream + general content warning. as i do not know the topics that will occur LMAO.]

my friend is playing thru & streaming ISAT for the first time & is live RIGHT NOW [on uh 6PMish EST 5/23/24 lmao]]!!

i am also in call, as someone who has Knowledge, and sometimes you will be able to hear when i want to Say Things but cant because Spoilers Technically ASFASFAD

we are doing voices for everyone :D!!

and are currently at basically the beginning of Act 2!!

come join and chat if u want!! or lurk!!! u can fish with channel points!!! it won't interrupt stream since it happens in the corner. well actually it might since we both like fishing and we'll prob both join in but its fine

bonus: the start of a doodle of another stream bit that i'll finish up proper,,, eventually,,,,,:

[fairy-verse]

Killer my beloved

Beloved was the mate of Nightmare and Nightlight, for no mortal fairy had ever captured their affection such as he. Oh, what lovely words he spoke, what beautiful dances he’d construct for them. None has ever shown such ambition and passion to not only capture but also hold their everlasting interest, and Killer appears to never struggle in this endevour, for it seems as though it comes as easily to him, as it comes for a flower to reach up towards the sun; ever stretching out to grasp that heavenly warmth and beauty.

[c-e-i-s]

I’m high LOL

[myststone]

why are scalpers making it so hard for me to spend money ;-;

I just want tears of the kingdom collector’s edition

every time i get an alert it’s sold out by the time i verify the purchase ;-;

i’m a broke college student okay let me spend my money irresponsibly

isn’t that part of the college experience like come on???

[13eyond13]

.

[starryoak]

It really sucks to comment on a post in a mildly joking or even entirely sincere manner and immediately get blocked. I absolutely realize people block other people on this website at the drop of a hat, but as an autistic person with scrupulosity my immediate reaction is that I would like to be able to tell someone I’m sorry for dropping the hat in the first place and that I didn’t mean to be rude.

Like, I’m not even saying it because I feel the need to be unblocked! I just need to tell them that it wasn’t meant to be annoying or rude, and I don’t hate them or anything. I mean, I can’t say it’s healthy that my OCD compels me to want to be unblocked and absolved for all my ‘sins’, but I can live with it and I’m fine with just feeling a little pang of sadness when I’m unable to like a post. I’m working on not having that happen either, but it’s very hard work, unlearning everything your brain as it was naturally made says you should feel.

And it’s just frustrating to me because it shows that even after near meteoric improvement in my social skills as I’ve gotten older (and also medicine), that it’s still hard for me to successfully assess social situations and comedy on a website where being rude is taken as funny over 75% of the time but there’s that other 25%… I often do literally add “(I am exaggerating for comedic effect”) as to make it more clear that this is intended as comedy, and… I guess it’s odd to me that’s treated as suspicious or something? Like, that nobody takes anyone else in good faith? I understand it’s a fools effort online, but I do genuinely try to be entirely sincere in my interactions online.

Like the automatic assumption that I’m not engaging sincerely when I’m trying to signal the exact opposite is both understandable and completely frustrating,

Just.. it’s like. People mock you if you engage with something sincerely, they mock you if you try to fit in, they mock you if you’re too rude, too nice, it feels frustrating when it feels like no matter what I do or whether I point out I am making a joke and not serious or play it straight, that I can’t get it right.

It’s not even about being blocked, really, (I’m lying my OCD hates it), it just hurts being confronted with the fact I’m almost two and a half decades into life and I still fail at basic social interaction despite my best efforts and despite the fact that I really am trying.

[owlask]

It's so evil that I am limited to only 20mins for this conference presentation

[ensemblewives]

good to know you're single 🫦

damn anon lolol haha have a great day :3

[yther]

poor oral hygiene?

excuse me, but I am meticulously cultivating a mouthful of treatment resistant bacteria for the express purpose of discouraging unwanted touching (dentists beware, though mostly a caution to others..)

My bite will cause sepsis and death, slower but much more painfully than a komodo dragon.

[lostinw0nderlandd]

🎄🎁🎅🏻

[yaekiss]

No 50 hats, no drip.

NOOOOO... u guys r all so mean to me :( first you guys say most normal hotel in ohio, now you say I have no drip

[strangersteddierthings]

So it's like, Eddie comes back and now he's like really affectionate to Steve in a way he wasn't before. Except it's not Eddie, it's Kas trying to pretend to be Eddie. Kas doesn't have Eddie's memories, just echos of feelings towards people and apparently Eddie had Super Strong Feelings towards Steve. So strong Kas thinks "They must have been lovers. If I play in love with the man with the nailbat, they will surely Believe I Am Eddie and I can help Vecna defeat them from within" and that is NOT the case.

Queue shenanigans as everyone tries to figure what who the hell is in their friend's body while trying to pretend they don't suspect a thing. Because the sudden affection for Steve is just the piece that tips the scale, because there's been an awful lot of things not adding up since Eddie returned. Like Eddie eating veggies happily while Wayne stares at him, suspicious and confused, or when Will asked about DnD and 'Eddie' was like what the fuck is that and Will's like... Dungeons and Dragons? The others said you were just as obsessed as us with it?? and Kas!Eddie has to be like "*nervous laughter* hahaha I jest I love the Dungeons and the Dragons". Etc.

And then poor steve is left to deal with this affection he wanted so bad before but doesn't want now because he didn't want Eddie for his body (even if it is a really nice body) but he liked all the things about Eddie that no longer seem to exist. He's not loud, he's not outspoken and wild, he doesn't care for music anymore, didn't even know what dnd was! Everything that made Eddie Eddie is gone and Steve doesn't know how to feel about finally getting what he wanted (Eddie's affection) but it's not the Eddie Steve fell in love with. But Steve's supposed to be distracting the imposter while the others work out a plan.

[dawkacynizmu]

bardzo chaotyczne przemyslenia na temat braku znajomych

w chuj mnie ostatnio frapuje kwestia tego ze nie mam znajomych czy moze to ja staralam sie bardzo jak przyszlam do nowej szkoly? moze powinnam biegac za innymi zeby mnie polubili zamiast czekac na to ze ktos wyciagnie reke. nie mowie ze nie probowalam wcale bo staralam sie z kilkoma osobami ale po prostu nie wychodzilo. to znaczy rozmawialismy na jakis temat ale gdy on sje konczyl bylo absolutnie zero punktu zaczepienia, pustka, nie dalo sie poprowadzic tego dalej.

a jak zdazylam pomyslec "okej jestesmy moze teraz kolezankami?" to wtedy nie bylo mnie w szkole dwa dni i po powrocie miałam wrażenie że byłam jak powietrze, wszystko wracało do punktu wyjścia.

ja wiem ze we wszystkich relacjach zdarzaja sie chwile milczenia, gdzie dwom osobom konczy sie temat wiec siedza chwile w ciszy, moze siegaja na moment po telefon ale w moim przypadku jest to zawsze tak niezreczne — ciagle mam w glowie tylko jak popchnac rozmowe dalej bo wiem ze jak tego nie zrobie to druga osoba tego nie zrobi, bedzie wolala po prostu ja zakonczyc.

ale jak tak sie teraz zastanawiam to wlasnie jeden jedyny raz bylam czyjas glowna przyjaciolka, takie wiecie, papuzki nierozlaczki (osoby ze spolecznosci moga kojarzyc kamile) widzimy sje codziennie mowimy sobie wszystko. i tak bardzo mnie zastanawia dlaczego kiedyś miałam przyjaciolke a teraz ledwie posiadam znajomych, czy po prostu pasowalismy do siebie tak dobrze czy wtedy jeszcze potrafilam nawiazywac te kontakty? i czy przyczyna tego że teraz sprawy tak wyglądają moze leżeć w bullyingu pod koniec podstawowki przez ktory przestalam wierzyc ze ktokolwiek moze mnie polubic

moze wina jest w jakichs wewnętrznych przekonaniach, tym ze podświadomie uwazam ze jestem kims kto nie nadaje sie do tworzenia relacji.

tez mnie mega boli ze inne niesmiale osoby sa postrzegane jako urocze, np. PRZEWODNICZACA mojej klasy jedna z najbardziej socjalnych osob jakie istnieja pytajaca czy ktos inny moze zapytac o cos nauczyciela bo "ja jestem shy 😓" i wszyscy sa jak hahaha spoko misia nie ma problemu a kiedy ktos niesmialy + mniej atrakcyjny + naprawde majacy problemy z angazowaniem sie w cokolwiek to jest zwyczajnie odtrącany.

ja myske ze na tym etapie nie ma co juz szukac znaj w szkole. jak sje trzeci rok siedzi ciagle samemu to mysle ze w głowach innych rodzą się jakieś uprzedzenia, dodatkowo skoro wszyscy dookoła mają swoje grona znajomych to nie sa zbyt chetni przyjmowac kogos nowego tak totalnie bez powodu.

mysle tez nas tym co by bylo gdybym to teraz zaczynala liceum a nie trzy lata temu, teraz gdy jestem mniej zagubiona, bardziej idgaf no i nie boje sie tego powiedziec, ładniejsza. akurat ta zmiana szkoly przypadka na naprawde zly okres w moim zyciu bo osma klasa (jej wiekszosc) byla okropna bylam odepchnięta i przygnębiona jak nigdy, potrafiłam nie chodzić do szkoly przez wiekszosc dni w tygodniu bo nie chcialam znowu spedzac calego dnia w samotnosci i stresie o to co kto znowu o mnie powie i co mi zrobi. nagle po takim okresie calkowita zmiana otoczenia oczekiwanie ze nagle sie zaaklimatyzuje.

teraz nie podejmuje zadnych staran aby sie z kims nowym poznac ani nie rozpaczam nad brakiem znajomych choc łapią mnie momenty gdzie on doskwiera, ale glownie spodowane lekiem ze jestem do tego po prostu niezdolna, ze zbyt dlugo siedzialam sama i za bardzo się zamknęłam

kiedys tez Nie przypuszczałam ze brak znajomych jest tak upokarzajacy. doslownie w filmach outsiderzy to po prostu osoby ktore chodza swoimi sciezkami i ich samotnosc jest romantyzowana do granic mozliwosci, a w rzeczywistosci? pytasz sie o cos kgoos i patrzy jak na kosmite bo nagle ogarnia ze umiesz mowic. klamiesz matce ze masz przyjaciol chociaz w glebi duszy zdajesz sobie sprawe, że ona domysla sie prawdy. zawsze musisz polegac na sobie bo nawet nie masz kogo prosic o pomoc nie masz z kim porozmawiac i zjadaja cie niektore tematy

czasem gdy na blogu napisze ze jesyem samotna ktos proponuje mi poznanie sie ale dla mnie relacja przez internet nie jest zamiennikiem takiej zwyczajnej...nie czuje sie jakbym rozmawiala z prawdziwa osoba (choc zdarzaja sie wyjatki) i w ogole czuje sie jakby ten ktos pisal do mnie z litosci, co innego gdy poznam kogos w internecie podcaas dyskusji na jakis temat (moja jedyna internetowa znajoma poznalam w komentarzu na ig o pewnej ksiazce)

[whatabarb]

Penelope: Lord Debling said he is interested in marrying me.

Colin: Hahaha. Funny. Did you inform him that is rather weird way to propose to someone?

Penelope: *frowning* No, I said that I am also interested in marrying him.

Colin: *almost spitting his tea* What?! Penelope, you must be jesting.

Penelope: No, I want to marry him.

Colin: *sadly* B-because you love him?

Penelope: *snorts* No.

Colin: *feeling relieved* Very well. So he is in love with you, but you do not want him?

Penelope: Lord Debling? In love with me? There is no way!

Colin: ... I think I do not understand.

Penelope: Why?

Colin: Two persons marry because they are in love with each other.

Penelope: Colin, your brother wanted to marry literally any woman last season.

Colin: But eventually he did not! So if it did not happen and he married the love of his life then there is no chance that it is a common practice. God does not allow it. And I really think that it is illegal.

Penelope: God does not allow it? It is illegal?

Colin: I said what I said.