#Guess who can afford this shit the government

[rotationalsymmetry]

I just have so many opinions on how teaching, specifically, would be way better if we didn’t try to make one adult manage an entire classroom.

Picture an elementary school, kindergarten through fifth grade, with, for the sake of simplicity, one class per grade. The way this is normally done, you have a teacher and maybe a teacher’s aid per class, and if the teacher can’t come in you bring in a substitute who isn’t attached to that school and who only works when someone calls in sick.

This is absolutely wild. That sort of thing makes perfect sense for college students who can manage their own lives, it makes no sense whatsoever for five years olds, many of whom are also going to spend all afternoon in after school care and not actually get one on one adult attention until their parent/s are off work. And if your parents suck or are exhausted after working all day? Sucks to be you!

Kids spend the hours of a full time job plus commute time in these institutional environments. It’s not good for people! People talk as though school is good for kids’ social skills just because they’re in proximity with other kids, but schools are highly artificial environments and it’s not normal or good for kids to not really get attention or advice or emotional support from anyone older who’s got life slightly more figured out. For hours at a time, days at a time. Kids need an adult’s full, caring attention now and then and to get it about things that matter to them, not just things that matter to the adult. And schools as they are now make that more or less impossible.

And of course the working conditions are brutal for the teachers. The work can be relatively rewarding because you’re working with kids and you know it’ll make a huge difference if you don’t show, but it’s demanding as hell and there’s a lot of pressure to not call in sick unless you absolutely have to, and there’s no time and you spend a lot of time being a disciplinarian rather than, you know, teaching.

What if the same school, instead of having six teachers (one per grade), had eight or nine? Six teachers each assigned to a specific class (although I imagine it’d be fun to switch it up now and then, and probably better for the kids so you get some year to year adult continuity) and two or three floaters. One’s with say the kindergarteners in the morning before recess (while the kindergarten teacher does some lesson planning or something, or maybe they co-teach if the kindergarten teacher would rather do that), the first graders recess to lunch, and the second graders from lunch to the end of the day. On a normal day. But maybe the first grade teacher has a headache that isn’t going away, and he could push through it but he doesn’t really want to and he especially is worried the pain might make him short tempered and he doesn’t want to lose his patience with the kids. So the floater goes “cool, what were you planning on doing?” and the first grade teacher either passes on the plan or suggests something else, and gets to go lie down in a dark quiet room for a couple hours.

(Would this cost more? Yes, almost a third again or half again as much. (Not quite that much because under the current system you do need subs sometimes.) Is it not worth it though?)

Now picture this. Two or even three teachers per class. I imagine a lot of current teachers would hate the idea of having to split a classroom, but I imagine there’s way more potential teachers who could work in a system like this who can’t function under the current one. For one, it lets you split up roles more, maybe one teacher is great at getting large groups of kids to sit down and pay attention so that teacher can do that, and the other teacher/teachers can focus on what they do best, which might be eg explaining fractions in a one on one context so that the kid who is really just not getting fractions can understand them. You know, teaching. And it would allow for a lot more diversity in subject matter teaching and style of teaching in one setting; maybe one teacher prefers lecturing but manages to do it in a way that gets the kids to listen and be interested, like the teacher is revealing ancient secrets to a select few. And another one is really good with setting up learning-by-doing situations. And one has a gift for making up silly songs that get the kids engaged and help them remember things.

And maybe you also have one counselor per classroom, one person whose job it is to look out for learning disabilities and the like and to look for why a kid who’s acting up is acting up and to be available when someone’s having a bad day and needs someone to talk to or conversely is so excited and happy that they really can’t just sit still and listen until they’ve had a chance to share why they’re so happy.

And surplus teachers would still be good in the grades where kids go to different classes based on subject. You’re teaching social studies, but you’re the one who really loves getting into ancient Egyptian and your partner teacher is the one who really likes covering current events. You’re teaching math, but you’re the one who loves math conceptually for it’s own sake and your partner is the one who’s good at typing it to the real world. Or you’re good at explaining things in a way that work for some of the students and your partner is much better at getting those other students who are just lost and frustrated with your approach. And any time a student just doesn’t want to be in the class, they can go to one of the professionally trained counselors or one of the community ambassadors who don’t have to have professional training (beyond, like, this is how we do things here/this is our sexual abuse policy/whatever) but can keep a kid company and keep them out of trouble when the kid doesn’t want a counselor but also just can’t stand being in the class another five minutes and also legally can’t be left without some sort of adult supervision. And if the teacher really doesn’t want a specific kid in the classroom for another five minutes because the kid is acting up, the teacher can kick the kid out without it being a disciplinary thing. You’re not in trouble, but you also have to leave the classroom until you stop being disruptive.

and if the teacher has a headache and doesn’t want to be around any kids, well, you have a partner. And if both of you want to be out, well, there’s got to be someone in a different class who can step out for a bit.

This would cost so much more than the current system.

But wouldn’t it be worth it?

And as a society, would it actually cost us more? We have more or less the same number of adults capable of working full-time professional jobs regardless of what they’re doing. If there were somewhat fewer adults say working to add short video features to social media apps or find new ways to squeeze money out of people playing mobile games, and instead in schools working with kids, would that be a bad thing for society?

[xamaxenta]

Stresses me out alot that i cant physically bind anymore idk what happened in the last few years but any kind of compression hurts and it sucks it was the only thing i could do now i cant even do that

[mrfoox]

Um. I told Oliver that I'm... Genuinely happy/content with my life

And cried bc i realize that's like the first time I've truly felt that way? Ever. The one by one big thing I want is an life partner otherwise... I think my life is good?

[acorviart]

Europe VAT laws not changing any time soon, recent. If understand FAQ well, mean shipping to Europe impossible for several years minimum?

That's correct, I won't be shipping to the EU for the foreseeable future due to some import packaging regulations that either have already been implemented or are planning to be implemented in the future.

Note that this is for EU countries only—I can ship to all other non-EU countries like Switzerland, except for the UK due to the UK's own convoluted VAT system.

The only workaround I can offer for EU folks is that you can have a friend or family that lives in a non-EU country place an order to deliver to their address, and then they are able to ship that order to you marked as a gift. Not an option for everyone, I know.

Longer explanation under the readmore for those curious:

As it stands now, each EU country has its own system and fees that I can't keep up with (for example, France would cost me 80 euros per year), I'd need to individually register and report to each country, some require reporting and tracking of what sources of packaging I use, I believe? It's all very complicated, and it makes my head spin just trying to figure out what the requirements actually are, so that's why I stopped shipping to the EU entirely out of an abundance of caution. I also just don't get enough sales to the EU to justify the headache, I'd probably actually lose money paying all the fees. Actually, while I was looking up details while writing this post, apparently there's a new PPWR that's going to replace the old EU Packaging Directive? This is why I can't handle this (ಥ﹏ಥ)

As for why this doesn't seem to be affecting all companies—corporations can obviously afford their own professionals whose entire job is to handle this stuff, and the requirements are also different for large vs small volumes. Meanwhile, a lot of other small or 1-person businesses straight up don't know about these requirements, because it's not like there's a memo passed around about updates to international shipping law. It's also even more confusing because some packages are slipping by without any issue, probably in part due to how the regulations are still new and still being implemented, so I assume it's kind of a mess.

I know of a few people who are willingly taking the risk and shipping to the EU anyway and have had no consequences (for now at least), but I'm not risking the fines ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now for the UK, their VAT system doesn't have anything to do with packaging, but what it does require is similar registration with the government, and I'm required to collect and pay the VAT myself. No thanks!

TLDR; laws hard. laws also expensive. too stupid to figure out and too fearful of fines. no ship to countries

fun story: someone also once emailed me this long diatribe about how they think I'm shit at research and that I'm just making all this up (specifically just to screw with europeans or something, I guess?), so I sent them a few links to the literal official government websites where I got my info (like that UK one), and they never responded. lol

[suffarustuffaru]

hello. its day 6 of rezero s3 fanweek (Alternate Universe / Absence / “No one would blame you.”) and so i have dug up more ancient texts (my old artwork) and BEHOLD. spiderman otto au jumpscare from three years ago (there was some lore attached to it so ill say a few bullet points of what lore i remember under the cut if you want) (includes a small drabble so ig that also counts for extra fanweek material?)

very very VERY loose marvel inspired au where otto is A spiderman and frederica was black cat (…yellow. cat. golden cat? gold cat? anyway.) and subaru is a deadpool esque figure (and secretly a former avenger ahahahahah and totally not contracted with echidna ahhaha dont worry about it). emilia was probably vaguely frozone from the incredibles / captain america inspired.

otto got his powers from a radioactive spider bite like most spiderpeople but he did that on purpose. to himself. (he was already a mutant of sorts who could talk to animals.) his little brother is totally not dead/missing due to mysterious circumstances and he is totally not a corporate employee for big shady government (russell fellow) and definitely not a vigilante in his free time. and that suit is definitely not sentimental to him or anything.

also he accidentally gains a new little brother ???????????????? anyway thats the main gist of this au that i still remember

ALSO I MADE A WHOLE SPIDERVERSE-ESQUE INTRO FOR HIM YEARS AGO here you can have it. I was gonna draw it all but as you can see i didnt finish it pfft so have it in text form instead !!

Let’s do this one last time.

My name is Otto Suwen. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the past six months, I’ve been the one and only Green Lynx.

And—And I’m named that because of the green lynx spider, not because I-I’m a lynx cat! I sewed web patterns into this outfit, alright?! I’ve put so much time, effort, and money into this! This design had to be perfect…

Anyway, I think you can guess the rest. Saved the city, talked more cats out of trees, helped save the city again, got new glasses—they were free, by the way, they just needed some… fixing… broke my back on patrol once, got shit on by birds, they said it was an accident, I ran into several buildings, my cape got caught under a car once, twice, maybe three times, made some terrible money decisions, don’t ever invest in oil—aha, that’s just my luck.

But don’t worry! I handle it all very, very well. I just don’t do friends anymore. (kicks away letters from his family) (ghosts messages from his family) I needed to focus more on my career, you know? I can’t afford to get distracted by anything.

(insert ending where he proceeds to get distracted by something, probably like him going back to his apartment and OOP WHY IS THERE A FERAL CAT OF A TEENAGER IN HERE)

Like I said. (insert panicked speech bubbles of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA from both garf and otto) I don’t get distracted by anything.

[animentality]

got some people complaining about the poll I made yesterday that determines if you're poor, middle class, or upper middle class based on whether you know what DevSecOps is.

mostly people who know what it is, and were protesting that it's not a class indicator... except it is.

and I can tell they're middle class from this, almost definitely living in a suburb or just outside a city, not in a rundown neighborhood in the city or a backwater bumpkin town in the deep south that hasn't seen a job since 1973.

middle class people who come from college educated parents and/or went to college themselves and are in the sphere of computer programming and tech really take the world they know for granted.

people are waiters, man. they're truck drivers. they're hotel receptionists. they're plant workers and electricians and plumbers and shit. they sell machines to people and do secretary stuff. they work at hospitals and as emts and as car mechanics. or boring bureaucratic government jobs where you do paperwork all day.

you really think every single person on this planet knows what DevSecOps is?

it's a work philosophy similar to scrum that is specifically geared towards software developers with the goal of releasing software quickly and safely and responding to security threats as quickly as possible.

so.

a software developer who specializes in security would be familiar with it.

and you're gonna stand there and tell me that a software developer with a specialty in cyber security is living in poverty?

not very good at networking I guess.

it's just funny because I think the tendency to take your world for granted is unavoidable, but the people complaining that they know what DevSecOps is, but it's not a class indicator-

they're like the people who think everyone can afford college.

you're privileged to know what it is.

they don't teach that shit in public schools. they don't even necessarily teach it in colleges.

it's something you learn while working a desk job, for some tech corporation. and while you're no CEO, you're still better off for knowing how to develop software applications.

so check your privilege, internet weirdos!

this may shock you but knowing what some esoteric technical terms mean are an indicator of class.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

People in Reddit, (because of course they are) seen to think California is this prosperous utopia that makes so much money and people there just have it made. Except people were moving away in droves because of cost of living for a while and then because of lack of freedom after that.

Then I get greeted with "Nuh uh! They've had net positive people moving there". Sure maybe recently but during and right after covid people fled because of the tyrant state California was acting like. Not too mention the shutdowns on top of cutting off work from so many people while the Governor went out to party with his friends.

California might make a lot of money but it's because they SPEND a lot. And I can explain. California has some is the highest tax rates in the US. And add freakishly high rent and costs there and it's near impossible to live there especially in the big cities. So why are they supposedly so "prosperous". Easy. If a state was to charge you 40% in state taxes. Gas prices are 7$ and you rent is 5k or more a month "income" for the state is going to look insane.

Meanwhile if you have a state that charges no state taxes, costs 3$ in gas and rent costs 1k a month the state will seemingly be less "prosperous". Except that concept should more or less look at conditions of living. And in California the place with the best net positive living conditions for an AVERAGE resident are all red area. Or light purple leaning red. Meanwhile if you're in blue areas you've got streets covered in shit, homeless people, and rampant crime and car break-ins. Sounds SUPER "prosperous" to me. So prosperous in fact the state wanted to charge residents for 10 years after they left the state.

Why? Because no matter how much they are making they aren't making enough. If you compare their GDP against how much they keep spending it's pretty bleak. Never you mind the impropriety in their local governments. Specifically L.A. and SF. Who "misplaced" millions a year that's supposedly supposed to go to the homeless. And other supposed "welfare". Fact is the sheer amount of people who I've talked to that left because they could not afford to live there. It's been quite a few. Income does not equal prosperity. And the fact Cali has had to be bailed out a number of times shows it can't sustain itself. Though the bailouts were not all extravagant. Most ended up being subsidies if I recall correctly. (Though it's been a while since I read up on it).

People dick suck Democrat policies so hard they need to present California as this bastion of perfection. It's not. And GDP doesn't make a place better. Especially not with tax rates as high as the have them. ON TOP OF federal taxes and living costs being that stupid.

Record high of 6.43. FOR UNLEADED!

And then this bullshit.

And a dollar for gas makes a lot of difference

So if it gas wad 3.40 even, 20$ would get you 5.8 gallons. At 4.80? 4.1 gallons. That amount MAKES A DIFFERENCE especially to those not making a lot of money a year. Then Cali mandates a $20/hr min wage for fast for (except Panera bread because a high level executive made a charitable donation to his campaign) 10k people lost our are projected to lose jobs. "Well that's the greedy companies-" I'm going to stop you right there. No it's not companies fault. It's the fault of California government. Because guess what? For those people that will be making more California gets a bigger cut of your money. Oh and guess what? Because of that you're in a higher tax bracket in both your state AND federally. California is mandating you get robbed blind.

Look. No state is perfect. But to pretend California is such a great place because a lot of companies had their head offices there and state taxes are absurd? Isn't a win. And frankly it makes your look stupid. Because it's a pretty nuanced thing. And it completely flies over most of your heads. Because if they were so well of WHY would they even consider an exit tax? Why would their tax rates be so damn high? Oh right because the state is lining it's own pockets while pretending they are the richest place on earth. And all because "the weather is nice". Blow me. Several states have really nice weather. California just sets itself on fire from time to time because they dissolved their foresty departments so they can blame global warming for everything.

[anniegetyourbubblegum]

I keep seeing posts from people in the US debating whether to vote for Biden in their upcoming elections to stop Trump from winning again or to punish the democrats for aiding Israel in the genocide of Palestine.

I'm argentinian and as far as I'm concerned, you should vote for whichever candidate you think will benefit you more, because you're from the US and that's all it's good for. The rest of the world will continue to suffer at your hands no matter what. Let me explain.

Democrats and republicans are not a representation of left and right wing politics: both parties are on the right side of the spectrum, only the GOP is more honest about it.

Republicans, as right wing parties do, run on promises of austerity, reducing taxes and being tough on crime. Democrats run promising to use tax money to ease your life: affordable healthcare, education and housing, all guaranteed so you can live the life of a first world citizen.

And then, they don't deliver.

You still have school shootings, massive incarceration, corruption in all levels of government, and the poorest pay a higher proportion of taxes than the richest. Healthcare, education and housing are extremely expensive and often require people to get into heavy debt to afford to have their most basic needs met, and that's only possible if you have good credit.

It's a reductive analysis for the sake of brevity, but you get the gist. The point is that having you be poor and afraid is the goal: it's a feature, not a bug.

You want to go to college? You need to buy a house? You want to start a family? Well, the military complex needs bodies! The US has far too many enemies to their way of life, so they'll need people to defend it! In exchange, they'll "guarantee" just enough money that you won't be destitute.

The US spends the most amount of money on their military in the world, by a long shot. To justify spending that kind of money, you HAVE to have wars. To have wars, you need enemies.

So, you get propaganda. "Muslims are extremists and hate our way of life." "Latin americans want to come to our country and steal our jobs." "China and Russia are communist countries that are waiting to destroy us." And you gobble it up.

You love it so much. It's in your news, in your videogames, in your movies and TV series and comic books. So, when they ask you to fight, you go running! You'll get some money out of it and you'll get to live your life the way you were promised. Sure, PTSD from the horrors is a given, but there's pills for that! And award winning movies about how difficult it is to go to war! It's all covered.

So the small, poor countries that you invade lose their money, natural resources, and their sovereignty but HEY, you brought democracy there! And the US is protected from this many enemies! Mission accomplished, right?

Well, as a citizen of a third world country whose current president is an insane pawn of the GOP, I'd like to say fuck you. He was placed so that the US could take our recently discovered lithium, and you'll get it. Enjoy your shitty iPhone 5000 I guess. It'll come at the small price of the hunger of my countrymen, but since Twitter user dan91883719 says argentinians all descend from escaped nazis, I guess it's alright.

Israel has killed Palestinians and illegally expanded its borders for over 70 years. Both democrats and republicans have sent aid and weapons to make this possible. It's in the US best interests to have conflict in the Middle East and have an ally control the area. Israel is a feature, not a bug.

And those of you who vote blue? You're trapped. Even if you know it's shit, you're unable to organize. Instead of rallying to form a new party, or a at least get a better candidate, you keep voting bad instead of worse and pat yourselves on the back for a job well done. Democrats are well aware of this and that's why they run on platforms that promise to make your life better and then sit back and say "our hands are tied" when you lose rights.

So, if you're still doubting it, vote for whoever the fuck you want. The war machine that you call 'country' won't stop no matter who's president, because those who hold the real power are already getting exactly what they want from it. Your suffering as US citizens is just as planned as the suffering of those who live outside of it.

TL,DR: Vote for whichever candidate you feel will defend your interests best. Lord knows it won't make a lick of difference for the rest of the world, because both political parties have the same plans when it comes to foreign policy.

[minothtime]

hiiii what's up !! the decline on intellectualism and critical thinking in these last years has been nothing but a breeding ground for extreme right wing views to fester. this general disinterest about several issues also ends up being a perfect tool for governments and entities to do whatever they want uncontested. this has been happening for quite some time now, but nowadays literacy is at an all-time low and it will only get worse with time. the sharp rising of climate change (trees are NOT getting the CO2 they were expected!! this is bad!!), the many racial and cultural issues, the rampant discrimination… all of these are issues people pretend don't exist because it "doesn't affect them", and by the time they realize it will all be over. I can only cope by immersing myself in both my work, music, or fantasy worlds where things always end up resolved. My phone died yesterday, and now i don't have music or a way to read without lugging my computer around. I'm scared. I don't want to spiral any further. I cannot afford to spiral. Sorry for dumping this on you. Do you like music? May I recommend something? Zahara is a Spanish artist, and if you know Spanish, her songs are truly great. Cupcakke is, once you get past the sheer lewdness and shock factor, possibly the greatest lyricist and rapper in this generation. OkameP is an amazing metal artist who usually uses Vocaloid for his work. I really like the calm vibe of most of OOHYO's music, even if I don't understand Korean. Lina Morgana had great music, but my personal favorite is Far Away, a raw and real song that never got enough attention. Sorry. There are good things if you look for them. Today I saw a fat pigeon drinking water from a fountain, and then I noticed its busted leg. That didn't stop the fucker from scaring off any other pigeons, and in the end it just flew away. It was funny. My boyfriend was with me, and I liked our conversation. I love him very much, and even if I wish he'd try and actually solve some of his problems, I know he's doing his best. That's more than enough for me. I can be there for him when he needs me, just as he can be here for me when I need him. We have reservations in my favorite Chinese restaurant this weekend - a place with half its menu untranslated! We're very busy with our lives, but still. Maybe we'll play a little Paladins or Overwatch today, together. Maybe we'll lie down and listen to music. I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't know how to end this, and I don't want to spew some faux-optimistic bullshit either. I guess life goes on and all you can do is do the best you can. There's not much to it. Things suck, but sometimes they don't. Just be aware that they suck, don't turn a blind eye, but don't let yourself be consumed…? Now that's some self-help shit. Ugh. Whatever. Have fun and be yourself, because what else is there?

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 S3 E11 - Past Tense Part 1

This is one of the episodes I have been looking forward to. I debated on watching both before I gave any commentary but I can't watch the second part immediately so I thought I'd do this one then the second later.

This episode pissed me off but in all the ways its supposed to, so I'm okay with that. We obviously don't have actual Sanctuary Zones in the real world but all of the things they talked about were basically true today. There are people with medical issues that are super curable or at the bare minimum treatable that we're ignoring (Hi, I'm on that list) because it's easier to sweep this shit under the rug. There are people who can't afford food or basic needs (Oh, hi it's me again) but the government doesn't care about those things either. The dystopian things corporations are suggesting on a daily basis just highlight how true the Bell Riots age of ST is true.

The entire episode was a rough watch but I think the harder parts for me wasn't even the shit that Sisko and Bashir saw, and that really probably should the be shocking/hard parts, but in some ways I live through that. The hardest parts for me were watching Jadzia watching around in the high society areas and everyone treating her (and each other) like they're somehow better than everyone else. The way they looked at her at the party she went to? I would have started swinging.

I did think at one point "well, I guess this is one way the patriarchy pays off" cause if it had been Miles that beamed down with them and got separated, the rich dude wouldn't have been as generous.

I had a feeling the episode(s) were going to end with Sisko becoming Bell before Bell even showed up and died, just by the subtle and small info drops of history being set up in the episode but I am glad that he did that. I also kinda figured the asshole "ghost" would be part of the reason the "hostages" would be in danger to begin with, so I'm glad Sisko did take up this mantle.

To be fair, I know that if I were in Starfleet and had all the training I had to NOT screw up timelines, I would have said fuck it seeing all those people suffering. Who is to say my actions weren't supposed to shape the future we already know? There might be fixed points in history and we might have documentation on a ton of things but there is still the day to day, moment to moment stuff that no one from the future actually can point to that says that me fixing up a few bruises, treating some illnesses, and helping save some lives is going to make things worst.

I'm glad we had a B plot that popped in from time to time so we can see what was happening in "real time" and I appreciate how super willing Miles and Kira were to jumping through some timelines, but mostly I'm glad we saw very little of them. I think we needed them to "ground" the story but they were not at all what was important to this specific story.

8.5/10 - looking forward to the revolution

[pinkapet-rates-anime]

I'm talking about One Piece again, not sorry. I'm never sorry for gushing about the best pirate show EVER!

How Luffy recruited his crew- abridged edition

The simplest but also the funniest way I can describe the way the crew got together.

Koby- The notorious sword fighter Roronoa Zoro is on this island! He hunted pirates, you should leave immediately!

Luffy- Hell nah, I want that guy on my crew! He sounds cool!

Zoro- Go away, I can handle this on my own!

Helmeppo- *Plans to break the deal he made with Zoro.*

Luffy- Hell no! *Saves Zoro.*

Zoro- If I had died I would never be able to be the world greatest swordsman, thanks I guess. I suppose your my captain now.

Luffy- This clown guy is annoying. *Beats up Buggy and helps Nami.*

Luffy- You should join my crew!

Nami- Ok! *Already planning to rob them blind.*

Luffy- *Meets a weird dude with a long nose, a slingshot, and a compulsive lying issue.*

Luffy- I like this dude.

Usopp- My island is being attacked by pirates!

Luffy- *Helps with the pirate problem.*

Merry & Kaya- *Gives them the Going Merry as a thank you gift.*

Luffy- Come on Usopp, I know you wanna join!

Usopp- Fine! I'll become a warrior of the sea, like my deadbeat dad!

The Crew- *Hops on a restaurant boat for food, and meets a weird chef with swirl eyebrows.*

Luffy- Hey, join us!

Sanji- Dude, no. I'm not leaving this restaurant.

Don Krieg- *Attacks the restaurant.*

Luffy- *Deals with it, as per usual*

Zoro- Fight me! *Says Zoro, to the greatest swordsman he could never hope to beat, because he has the crazy goal of being the greatest swordsman.*

Mihawk- *Severely wounds Zoro.*

Sanji- You guys all have dreams just as crazy as mine, might as well join you.

Nami- *Steals everything from the Strawhats to make money.*

Luffy- Nah, not gunna bug her.

Arlong- *Has somebody steal the funds to by her home island from Nami, to force her to basically continue being his slave.*

Nami- Luffy... help.

Luffy- *Zero questions asked takes off to go beat that dude Arlong just because she asked for his help.*

Luffy- *Almost dies doing this, but nevertheless the mad lad does it.*

Nami- I'll actually join this time, no more robbing you guys.

Nami- *Gets really sick and almost dies.*

Luffy- A musician can wait for now, let's get her help. *Almost dies getting her help*

Chopper- *Accidentally gets spotted by Luffy, who immediately sees a reindeer and thinks "Dinner!"*

Chopper- *Transforms to get away.*

Luffy- Holy shit, a monster! Join my crew!

Chopper- *Offended by being called a monster, runs away.*

Sanji- Luffy is a monster too. Dude is literally made outta rubber.

Chopper- *Sense of camaraderie, but not enough yet.*

Luffy- *Helps him see his adoptive fathers dream through.*

Kureha- Go on kiddo, join em.

Chopper- Fine! Also I'm a doctor!

Luffy- Sweet, we needed one of those!

Robin- Theres no point in living, my research is going nowhere. Let me die.

Luffy- Absolutely not! *Saves her by force.*

Robin- You forced me to stay alive, guess I'm your problem now.

Franky- *Steals all the money from the Strawhats so they can't afford to fix the Going Merry, or buy a new ship.*

Luffy- Dude wtf. *Wrecks his base, but the money is already spent and gone.*

Usopp- I see your willingness to move on from the Merry as a personal attack, but I won't tell you that. Byeeee.

Robin- *Lets herself get arrested and sentenced to death to protect the crew.*

The Crew- Oh helllll nah! Get back here!

Franky- *Kidnaps Usopp as retribution, not knowing the situation of him leaving.*

Franky- Dude your ship is about to fall apart, let her rest.

Usopp- I know that! But the Merry is important, and also I saw a ghost fix her once.

Franky- Dude that ghost WAS the Merry. She talked to you because she loves you guys.

Government- *Kidnaps Franky and Usopp too.*

Franky- You have good friends Robin, maybe you should just let them save you.

Robin- No, I'm doing this for them.

The Crew- We literally don't want you to do that.

The Crew- *Literally wages war on the government to get their friend back.*

The Going Merry- *Saves the crew before having a tragic funeral as sea.*

Franky- You guys need a boat. It just so happens I used the money I stole from you to buy this epic wood to make a boat out of. You guys practically payed, so you can have it.

Luffy- Awesome! Now join us!

Franky- No.

Literally like a fifth of the population of Waters 7- *Steals his speedo in an elaborate game of keep away to get him to go to the Strawhats.

Luffy- Join or you can't have these back.

Robin- *Twists his balls to force him to join.*

Franky- Christ, fine.

Luffy- Holy crap guys it's a talking skeleton! Let's go talk to him!

Half the Crew- Absolutely not.

Luffy- We are doing this y'all.

Brook- Hello! Miss may I see your panties? *Asks the 90 year old skeleton dude*

Nami- Wtf? Absolutely not.

Luffy- Join us!

Brook- Yes!

Half the Crew- Luffy no...

Brook- I can sing and play instruments!

Luffy- Fuck yes a musician, finally!

Brook- My shadow was stolen so I'd die in the sun. Can't join, gotta get it back, don't follow me, BYEEEE! *Runs on the water and leaves.*

The Crew- *Accidentally ends up in the same place Brook went.*

The Crew- Oh shit zombies!

Luffy- Awesome! I wish all these monsters would join the crew!

The Crew- Dude... why.

Half the Crew- *Gets their shadows stolen by the same dude who stole Brooks.*

Brook- Use salt, it works.

Luffy- *Beats up a giant zombie with his shadow in it, and then beats up the warlord who steals the shadows.*

Luffy- Brook, join us.

Brook- No, sadly I cannot. As the last living member of my crew, I have a duty to our friend the whale, Laboon.

Luffy- Oh that whale? We know him! I drew our Jolly Roger on his face, he's a buddy of mine.

Brook- Guess I'm joining!

Jinbe- Luffy, buddy, come to the fish man island and say hi!

The Crew- *Immediately causes chaos.*

Jinbe- Dude please stop.

Luffy- Haha, no. So who do I needa punch to get you to join us?

Jinbe- I can't dude. Love you man, but I have prior arrangements.

Luffy- *Fixes the problem on the island*

Luffy- Ok now join us.

Jinbe- Busy.

Luffy- *More chaos.*

Jinbe- Fiiiiine. *Severs Ties with the Big Mom crew and joins them.*

[veryace-ficrecs]

Steve Harrington Is a Good Babysitter

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)   

Blood will follow blood by Rocketbride - Rated T

Steve smiled. “Here’s the bad news: you’re gonna need stitches, Mayfield. A bandage isn’t going to keep enough blood inside of you. And you might get an infection if you leave it gaping open like that.”

“No. No!” Max thrashed and El hugged her.

“What’s the problem, Mad Max?” Eddie said from behind Lucas. “Hate the hospital? It ain’t so bad. I had some delicious jello when I was recovering from the bat attack.” He sauntered into her line of sight and flapped his arms dramatically.

“No, it’s…we can’t afford it, alright?” Max tried to sit up and El scooched in to support her. “I had to get stitches two months ago and they cost $200. My mom didn’t eat lunch for a week after that.” Her eyes rolled up at Steve. “Please, Steve, can’t you just, like, tape it up? I can go easy on it. Lucas can help me get around.” Everyone looked at Lucas, who nodded nervously.

“Steve, just put some more gauze on it, I’ll be fine,” Max gritted out as she tried to get to her feet.

“Woah, woah, stay down,” Steve held his arms to block her. He chewed his lips harder. “I guess I could. Yeah. It could work.”

The dangers of babysitting by Siegrrun - Rated T

The wound in his side screamed against the too deep breath and it took everything he had in him not to make a sound. There was no need to alarm the kids.

Or

Steve hides his injury from the kids. It goes about as well as you'd think

 i wave goodbye to the end of beginning (goodbye) by steveharringtoned - Not Rated

Eddie Munson has been going steady with Steve Harrington for a little while now. He’s learned to expect the occasional disturbance.

In which he observes:

5 times Steve helps the kids, +1 time they help him.

 you're beautiful (every little piece, love) by strawberryspence - Rated T

Steve Harrington would do anything for the kids. Anything.

Apparently that includes shaving his hair.

The Curse of Hawkins Becomes Known by AshWinterGray - Rated T

Lucas won the game, Steve pulls off a miracle, the guys are sorry, and... Chrissy Cunningham is apparently possessed. This is not how anyone thought the night would go. Least of all the government. 

You can put it all on me, you can laugh and you can bleed by steveharringtoned - Rated G

Phil Callahan has made a large variety of strange arrests in his time working as a cop for Hawkins, Indiana. Daylight skinny-dippers; a small group of old ladies who’d attempted to rob the corner shop with their umbrellas, a guy who’d stolen a total of eighteen gnomes from his suburban neighborhood.

But pulling over Max Mayfield driving her brother’s Camaro at the ripe age of thirteen was pretty insane. Sure, kids will be kids and kids will be crazy. Until Steve Harrington crawled out of the backseat, clutched his knees and horror-movie hurled blood all over his boots and shit got crazier.

That took it from a minor concern to oh, fuck. Callahan has to take this kid to a hospital.

Kiss, Marry, Kill by QueermoDelToro - Rated G

The kids play Kiss, Marry, Kill. Dustin instigates. Mike overreacts. Hilarity ensues. 

Pride of the Party by scifigeek14 - Rated T

The party owes Steve a lot, and he owes them just as much.

A five plus one fic - about friendship, growing up, and gratitude.

it feels so scary, getting old by generic_cruiser - Rated T

Five times Robin sees Steve being a mom to the party, and one time she fills in for him 

five times steve hated being the babysitter and the one time he was grateful by simplyylupin - Rated T

Selfishly, a part of him wished he’d ignored Dustin earlier that day and just gone home, oblivious to the situation around him. Alas, he was there, and there was no way in hell he was letting these prepubescent dipshits blindly follow a bunch of flesh eating monsters.

or

Five times Steve Harrington (thought he) hated being the babysitter and the one time he was grateful. 

Sleep tight, don't let the Demodogs bite by PursueCrazyLife - Rated G

After the tunnels a fairly stressed-out and concussed Steve has to ensure the safety of the kids.

And there is still the matter of the demodog in the fridge.

(aka. the obligatory season 2 aftermath fanfic. After experiencing season 2 nostalgia I couldn't help myself adding yet another one to the pile)

The Favor by AshWinterGray - Rated T

Hopper showing up at his door is alarming for several reasons. For most, it would be because he was the Chief of Police. But for Steve, it meant there was a potential threat. And now was not the time for him to be cooking dinner. 

Common Cents by Ghoststar - Rated T

Making a will at eighteen seems incredibly morbid. The lawyer stares at him long and hard the entire time. She acts like he's contagious, like she might catch her death from him or maybe he'll ruin her rug by dropping dead in her office. Steve figures she has nothing to worry about. If anything's going to kill him, it's probably going to be a monster from the Upside Down.

-

In which Steve hunts monsters, becomes a deputy, makes a will, and finds a family. Among other things.

designated driver by genesisofrhythm - Rated T

 Steve screamed as Robin slammed on the brakes.

 “That is not how you stop!” he said, as his whole body jerked forward. His head would’ve hit the dashboard if he wasn’t holding the handle at the top of the car with a death grip.

 Robin turned to look at him. She had the audacity to be offended. “There was a stop sign.”

 “Eyes on the road,” Steve snapped.

Or: 5 times Steve taught someone how to drive + 1 time he was in the driver’s seat.

Outside Looking In (Request) by miss_little_kitten - Rated G

Eddie seeing the kids and Robin interacting with Steve, including a day he's waiting for their arrival and they never came.

Steve and Robin would 100% look everywhere for those kids if they couldn't find them.

The Times Steve Didn't Know How To Say I Love You and the Time He Did by miss_little_kitten - Rated G

Times Steve didn't know to say I love you too back to the kids, either in their own love language or the words in general and then the time he said he loved them to Hell and back, which was obvious.

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - STREET FIGHTER (1994)

IMDB BLURB:  Col. Guile and various other martial arts heroes fight against the tyranny of Dictator M. Bison and his cohorts.

WARNINGS: Violence and just a whole lot of fucking weird shit

RATING: 20 Billion BisonDollars

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: So we're here again with the muthafuckin' street fighter movie which is so fucking great. Everything about this is absolute garb but it's so much fun. Raul Julia is putting his entire pussy into this absurd performance. Jean Claude Van Damme is the most hilarious "American" I've ever seen. His accent is so thick it hurts.

Biscuits: My opening thoughts are 'I'm eepy', okay?? (Biscuits is sleep-deprived again)

Dib: This movie was shot in a whole ten weeks and allegedly Jean Claude Van Damme was blasted off his ass on coke during the filming of this movie.

M: Watching his performance, I'm not at ALL shocked by that. ANYWAY. We open on uh...a really intense opening credit scene with a news reel talking about how bad M. Bison played by Raul Julia ( may he rest in peace ) is. Chun Li is reporting? Because she's a reporter in this?

B: Allied Nations, is this world war three???

M: Sort of, M. Bison is kind of the dictator

D: There's our man! I guess we just have like a hostage pit in M. Bison's doom dome? I forgot how shit the acting was. Raul was also years into battling stomach cancer when this was filmed.

M: VanDamme shows up as Guile and threatens Bison on the air which goes pretty well, you can't even understand his fucking accent.

B: I keep feeling phantom ants, like a meth addict. What is happening??

D: A lot, it doesn't slow down.

M: I'm trying to summarize but this goes like 100 mph. We've been introduced to Chun Li and Charlie and Blanka who are the same person, shut up, and E. Honda and DJ and Cami played by Kylie Minolgue.

D: Charlie and Blanka are different people in the game.

B: I don't understand what's going on

D: M. Bison has taken hostages and he wants 20 billion dollars from the government.

B: WHAT government???

D: THE government. Basically he wants it from Guile (vandamme) And now we're gonna be introduced to Ryu and Ken at a random street fight in a barbed wire electrified cage

B: These are Ryu and Ken??

Y’know, Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter...

D: And Vega, who kinda looks like his character. And that's Sagat. Sagat and Ryu and Ken have historical beef but not in this movie.

M: This is so much to take in. I guess Sagat is trying to get Ryu and Ken to help him sell guns.

B: So this white guy and this asian guy meet Barack Obama in some weird asian nightclub and they throw tennis balls at them and now they're fighting.

D: This will be the only fight for like...an hour. Meanwhile in Shadaloo? We're back with M. Bison. In this movie, Dhalsim is not a yogi, he's just a scientist? They couldn't do the stretchy limbs thing but come on.

B: They are just firing characters at us!

D: Canonically Blanka is just a weird guy, not some super soldier they created in a lab??? And definitely not Charlie.

M: Back to Dhalsim and M.Bison who is torturing BlankaCharlie with nazi propaganda and stuff to make him BAD. Also Zangief is here staring confusedly in the background, which he does the entire movie and I love him so much.

You can tell he’s being brainwashed because he’s wearing one of those photo-viewer toys from the 90s.

B: FUCKING OTTER POP JUICE LABELLED MUTAGENS DO NOT TOUCH! Can we fucking slow down please??

D: No! this movie does not. Now we're starting with another street fight between Vega and Rye-u or Ryu, it changes constantly.

B: I've seen better acting in a porno.

D: Ken looks like he belongs in a porno. Everyone is shirtless and the audience is horny.

B: That is not a real sword.

M: They could not afford real weapons.

B: When you don't have the money to score your movie, you can just throw in royalty free classical pieces! It’s not lazy or distracting at all!

D: But the fight is interrupted by a tank with Guile in it, and also 800 phone calls from Munch's mother.

M: That's not a joke, she’s called six times in the past half hour. Anyway, it's Guile. He's here with some guys that will not be relevant at all to the rest of the movie except maybe Cami but even then....and there's a spy guy.

B: Is that what spies do?? they just jump up in the middle of meetings and attack?? That's some good cold war espionage right there. What? Ken and Ryu are in jail eating scrambled eggs. That wasn't even a grammatically correct sentence.

D: Back in jail, they're all fighting for some reason.

M: Why?

D: I don't know. Guile is watching from above and back in Charlie's tickle basement, BlankaCharlie is being tortured again and there was a scream when his mouth was closed. Dhalsim is not happy with their methods though so he's gonna make CharlieBlanka look at nice things? they're making CharlieBlanka really swole by showing him bad things? and injecting him with dna otter pop mutagen.

I had to put an image in here of this shit to show you just how much it looks like otter pop juice.

M: Makes perfect sense. Back at the movie! Refugee camp with uh...the allies?

D: Here's ken and ryu and van damme

M: I guess he JUST broke them from prison?

D: Ryu and Ken are not criminals.

M: Just lovers.

D: No Ken is married. Not to Ryu.

B: Yeah, I've never heard of a married gay man.

M: Guile's accent is murdering me, his one liners are just so bad. So so bad.

D: Ken and Ryu fake beef for some reason. Vega hasn't said a single word in this movie. Oh they were stealing the keys.

B: They just throw the keys up in front of everyone, just show em off.

D: And then Ken gives Sagat and Vega the keys anyway but now there's a prison break.

B: I like how the Allied nation guys just have like random flags on them

D: Well technically that's supposed to be where they're from. Guile is shooting down a van but he just got shot.

B: What is the PLOT of this movie right now???

D: Chun Li does an epic dodge roll and there's shooting and then Ken and Sagat kiss. Just kidding. GUILE IS DEAD.

M: He's not though. There's medics, and now elephants back in Shadaloo. M. Bison is making a mini replica of Bisonopolis because he's gotta have a monument to his ego. Chun Li is reporting again about how bad Bison is and how Guile is dead. For real.

Reports have been coming in of a man posing as a health inspector in order to obtain free food.

D: DJ also didn't work for Shadaloo. Raul Julia M Bison's the hell out of this.

B: Is that what you want, M. Bison? Because I'm really confused about what your actual motivation is.

D: He's about to explain it.

B: So the evil leather daddy nazi wants to create an army of super soldiers to save everyone by...killing everyone?

M: Zangief sheds a tear and says Bison's speech was beautiful. He is my favorite. Everyone's alliances here are very suspect. There's a curfew now and stuff. Bad things are happening.

B: Why does Bison needs 20 million for this?

D: I don't know. Chun Li is apparently really a spy. Or a ninja. Or both.

B: She puts on like a bad balaclava and then she just like stealths up into the AN headquarters. Very sneaky. Apparently to sneak you just walk sideways in a black jumpsuit and put your hands up like oooooh.

D: She's got her very loud tracking thing and she's in the morgue, which is empty save ONE dead guy, being Guile. It's full of wet specimens in jars like any good morgue.

B: Oh fuck he's dead. I was so emotionally invested in this character.

M: I like how they just left him in his clothes. Like you do with dead bodies. No autopsy for Guile. He immediately has Chun Li arrested. She's got a sad backstory about how she wants to kill Bison for reasons.

B: I like the random classroom skeleton in the morgue. What war?? Is this just Shadaloo against the entire world?

D: Yep!

B: All the action sequences are so bad, she's just like speed walking away.

D: meanwhile at an illegal gun auction in Shadaloo....

M: Bison is sitting there while ppl who are definitely NOT Honda and Chun Li and Balrog in costume are performing. How did they get there? We don't know. Everyone is just in Shadaloo in a one kilometer radius but Bison doesn't notice.

D: and now Ken is horny for Chun Li but DJ is also horny for...someone. Ken is gonna get kidnapped.

M: Zangief is here, my special boy.

D: Ken is gonna get beaten by Chun Li because he's a scrub. Canonically.

B: Whoah pilot, I'm not that kinda guy. Bison and Sagat are getting a little too close.

D: Bison gives Sagat an entire case of "Bison Money" and says that it will be worth five times the pound when he kidnaps the queen. Which is a great line. Sagat gets mad.

B: Thanks for that backstory, now we know that Honda and Balrog were a sumo wrestler and a boxer. Someone should have told them they didn't need to put every single fucking character from the game in the movie.

M: But they did. Chun Li is planning to blow the entire place to smithereens and she left a fucking video message to let them know about it because that's smart. QUICK, CHANGE THE CHANNEL! says zangief. He is so dumb and we love him.

D: there goes the entire budget

B: They had to buy so many bootleg fireworks for that one scene, it must’ve cost them like 20 whole dollars. Well, 20 dollars in 1994 money, so that’s like $2 million in today's money.

D: I don't really know what Ryu and Ken even do in this movie

M: I don't think they really do anything.

B: This feels like the climax of the movie but we're only 40 minutes in.

D: This movie is a non stop climax. Meanwhile in space....we're gonna geolocate M. Bison with some bullshit tech.

M: Shouldn't be hard to find everyone, they're all in the SAME PLACE. Somehow Ken and Ryu are now M Bison's personal friends for turning in Chun Li and her friends. We don't to see how any of this happened.

D: Balrog and Honda are going to the sex dungeon while Bison goes to personally sexually harass Chun Li.

B: I can't parse if what you're saying is true

M: No it's all true.

B: Ken has to tell the audience who the good guys are

M: Guile is back at the base giving his men a speech about getting into Bison's secret hideout.

B: Their only option is ONE single boat to get into Bison's ancient ruin hideout, okay.

D: meanwhile E. Honda is getting a spanking and he is no selling it. He looks bored.

This is not a scene from a porno, I swear

M: Lots of experience getting lashes. Honda is gonna pull the chain right out of the wall because he's fucking swole. Zangief's accent isn't horrible, he's giving Ken and Ryu new oufits.

D: Ken's chest is covered because he's not actually buff. They're gonna just somehow communicate the two halfs of the map they saw? And here's Guile's speech which is so bad that his lips don't match because Van Damme was so out of it they had to overdub it

M: Guile tells a man he doesn't have balls and then he gets fired but it's fine because only Guile can fight Bison. The war is cancelled. No big.

D: He gives such an inspirational speech that everyone becomes war criminals and they're gonna go after Bison

M: I thought only one guy could get in there?

D: They're gonna follow him I guess. Guile gets in the bat boat mobile and he's gonna go kill Bison.

B: The real UN would've just been like - Please stop being a dictator or we're gonna write a stern letter.

M: Back in Bison's bedroom he's got Chun Li dressed like Chun Li and he's changed into his sex hat and sex robe and he's making an evil martini while Chun li exposits all over everyone about her tragic past.

B: In movies they have a thing called tell don't show, because why would you show something when you can just have someone tell us everything.

D: Back with Ken and Ryu and Honda and Balrog who have broken out but I guess they don't realize they're on the same side.

B: I do want Bison's giant bone chandelier. Hey do you wanna see my chandelier and my painting from John Wayne Gacy? ( that's really in there )

( No, really )

M: Chun Li is still fucking talking about how Bison murdered her dad and girl, he does not care. He's the bad guy. Bison knows women though and he's like, you are harmless. But that's what she wanted him to think!

D: she casually breaks her handcuffs and kicks Bison's ass by kicking him twice. Bison pretty good at fighting, actually.....OH NO THE GAS G-GAS GAS

M: What kind of gas? Who knows! Bison escapes in his uh...evil elevator?

D: Back in Guile's boatmobile, which is his because he has his name on it.

B: Can this movie just....pick a struggle...

M: Nope! and now for the needle drop with Guile's little home video of him and Charlie and then we're back with Blanka who looks like the Lou Ferrigno hulk

D: time for more evil with Blanka. But anyway Dhalsim is gonna give Blanka some nice asmr videos.

B: I love the way fake techy computer stuff looked in the 90's

D: they show him dolphins and weddings and babies and happy things. By the way, the entire Blanka storyline is completely irrelevant.

M: no it's true, nothing ever comes of it at all. I don't now why they put it in the movie. I don't know why they put most of this in the movie. Only Zangief.

D: Speaking of Zangief...he's here. Vega says his one line. I guess everyone got caught again. Oh they got gassed in the room. So now back with Guile they're gonna stealth mode, which changes literally nothing.

M: They just machine gun down all of Bison's sensors. Dj's accent tells us that something verrrrry strange is going on in the river, it's the invisible boatmobile!

D: Anti Guile alarm! Apparently they have an anti stealth mode. So now they're gonna get out M. Bison's big special boy floating platform with video game controls on it. Zangief looks around confused that Guile is alive.

M: all zangief does is look confused until the end. Bison is unsurprised Guile is alive and he's gonna kick everyone's ass whenever Guile and Cami and whoever else get there but apparently he's just gonna press buttons and use underwater mines.

D: Bison blows up the boat but somehow Guile and everyone get out. Insert coin to continue. meanwhile they realize Dhalsim has been beaming good vibes into Blanka's head and they accidentally release Blanka but he's full of good vibes now.

Yes, he does actually look this goofy.

B: They've just made a guy who's addicted to television.

D: Blanka in all his receding hairline glory is gonna save Dhalsim. the only thing he really does in the entire movie. So here's some Shadaloo guys getting beat up by Guile and T Hawk and Cami so they can finally infiltrate the secret aztec base.

M: Everyone is soooo stealthy. they just walk around and beat guys up. Good thing they have a sewer grate into the secret base. Guile and Co fall into a hole.

D: They're finally starting to look like their actual character counterparts. The movie is mostly over.

M: Bison's account has ZERO DOLLARS AND ZERO CENTS. Now he's gonna get mad. I wonder if he'd accept Bison Bucks instead of the 20 million.

Relatable.

D: Probably. OPEN THE HOSTAGE CHAMBER. Guile has broken into this place in 20 seconds, directly into the Blanka chamber.

M: Why do they just have an aquarium. And he finds Blanka and somehow immediately knows he's Charlie even though he doesn't look at all like Charlie. Blanka grunts a lot.

D: CharlieBlanka sad.

B: That was easy! Guile is just gonna shoot him, but Dhalsim stops him.

D: Bison is like why have I not been paid? Bro, you're asking 20 billion.

M: Who even are these hostages, are they worth 20 billion?

B: Who even fucking knows??? Raul Julia is CHEWING the scenery

M: I love it. he's giving 30000 percent.

B: What is the point of this blanka shit? Why is this even in the movie?

M: they're gonna send Guile instead of Blanka I guess, even though Guile isn't a super soldier.

B: I love Zangief, he just stands around looking so confused. I feel that.

D: Guile does a 20 foot leap and drop kicks Bison who orders people to shoot the hostages and now everything is happening so much

B: Everything has been happening so much since it started

D: Everyone gets more naked and the AN is here and E Honda and Zangief are gonna fight for 20 minutes.

M: I wish that was all that happened. Guile is now outside shooting people somehow and I don't now where Bison is.

D: Honda bodyslams Zangief through a secret passage. So Bison finds out Blanka was being programmed to be good and he punches out the screen and now the allied forces are here and Ken kinda almost does a shoryuken.

M: This fight lasts the rest of the movie. Bison is like, DJ and I willl face defeat together and DJ is like, yeah I'm out. Ken is kind of an asshole in this movie. Rye-u and ken get mad and Ryu goes back to save people even though he's not getting paid.

D: This movie is a non stop car accident. Blanka is destroying things while Dhalsim yells. The smoke machine broke and Guile is shooting people and nobody knows where Bison is, including us.

M: But he's not! He's gonna call Guile out and they're gonna fight in man to man combat!

D: Guile has the american flag tattoo! They're gonna street fight.

M: If his run in with Chun Li is any indicator, this should be easy. they show a video of Zangief and Honda destroying the model of Bisontopia with godzilla noises. I love this show. Bison and Guile are still fighting. Props to Raul Julia for fighting in that fucking outfit.

D: Balrog suddenly has his boxing skills back.

B: Where are the hostages?? In the hostage pit! Where do you think they are???

D: M. Bison has died.

B: He gets thrown into a control panel and dies.

D: No we haven't climaxed yet

B: ....but....fuck....whut...I think I've had an aneurysm.

D: Bison life support activated!

B: he has life alert!

D: His suit administers cpr, and now he's gonna use ELECTRICITY!

M: Meanwhile DJ is gonna grab a treasure chest that Bison has in his locker and get out. Ken is also looking for treasure but all he finds is a statue and a bad computer screen with icons but he does see Rye-u and yells at him. It's a trap!

D: Ryu gets ambushed by Sagat and Vega

B: I forgot they were in this movie

D: Bison is gonna fly.

B: Hold up *whispers* just for like...one second please.....WHAT. Why has the climax of this movie been happening for 80 minutes?

D: He's gonna fly. With superconductor electromagnetism. Yanno.

He’s playing the bass and I’m flyin’! (Editor’s note: how many times have I made this fucking joke?)

M: I love Raul Julia so fucking much though oh my god. I miss him. Oh yeah Ken and ryu are fighting and shit and people are losing their shirts.

D: He kinda did a Hadouken. Ryu is gonna burn Vega in the incinerator but only a mild burn

M: Ken and Ryu unsuprisingly win and now they're gonna go to Dizzkneeworld. Bison is just flying all over and shooting lightning at Guile but he's got BIG KICKS and he launches Bison into the screens and he explodes.

B: Oh shit the energy field is unstable!!! Oh shit!

M: Balrog punches open the hostage room. Zangief and Honda are STILL fighting but Honda is like welll I gotta run and Zangief is like DJ! Come fight with me! And DJ is like dude Bison is the fucking villian. Zangief is again confused. Bison is a bad guy???? You got....paid??? He is best boy.

D: Oh no the blast doors are gonna close! How are we gonna get out?? Oh it's ZANGIEF! Who somehow got outside and he's holding the door open and he's also much more naked. And now we're back with Dhalsim who is now bald and mostly naked and he's like nah I'll take CharlieBlanka out, we're fine.

B: WheaheIyeah???

D: And then the evil temple blows up and Cami and Chun Li kiss. Not really. All the Shadaloo henchmen are giving up

M: Zangief stands there proudly as a new good guy.

D: Sagat and DJ escape and now Sagat is shirtless but the treasure is actually BisonBucks

M: Everyone thinks Guile is dead but he's not and everyone is so happy to see him

B: He's been an asshole this whole time.

M: Everyone is good guys now!! And everyone is fine with that I guess. Chun Li and Guile have a little something something but it's kinda gross

D: Why is everyone horny for Chun Li?? Me at the entire Street Fighter Community.

B: Why is it still exploding?

M: The energy field

B: BUT WHY?? THIS WAS NEVER MENTIONED IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE UNTIL THE VERY END!! IT MAKES NO SENSE! ALL OF THE SUDDEN IT HAS A MELTDOWN??? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ENERGY FIELD???

D: What happened to Blanka and Dhalsim? We'll never know

B: I don't know what happened, period. What the fuck is going on.

D: This is the most insane movie I've seen in my entire life. The breakneck pace does not stop, it starts at an 11 and goes up to a 14 real quick and stays there. Zangief is best boy,

B: w...what? I don't have anything else to say. What was any of that???? What? Why?

M: You're looking for meaning where there is none. It's beautiful chaos.

B: I will say one thing...there's NEVER a dull moment. Not a single one. You're not given a second to be bored.

D: How many stars would you give this movie?

B: Mayonnaise.

[onlyjellyillputinmybelly]

Hey guys i've found myself defending America and it feels weird but can yall tell me if I'm in the wrong here?

(its long im sorry)

TLDR: My friend is an international student, we got in a joking argument about soccer vs football that ended in accusations of racism and McCarthyism. Did I take it too far?

.........

I go to a private college in America (in the south) that I have worked hard to get a full tuition scholarship so I can afford to attend. I have a friend who also goes here that is an international student from New Delhi. I'll call her N.

N is very sweet, but she has the tendency to get very peeved about the culture differences between India and America. I have met plenty of other international students who are also from India (there are a LOT of international students this year) and most of them are very chill and embrace the multicultural area that the school is located in.

I am also, as we may know, an avid arguer. I'm a philosopher at heart. I think disagreements let me get to know people better through how they argue (which helps me know if they'd be a good friend. idk its the tism ig).

So N and I were chilling and out of the blue they send me a reel about how non-americans get mad when americans say soccer and not football. I sent back "its true cuz we're fine with them calling it football but they pop off whenever we say soccer" and she responds with "Because you're saying it wrong."

We've had convos like this and I normally assume they're being light hearted and pretending like its a big thing, so I responded kinda sarcastically "damn learn how to accept peoples differences" and she said "not if theyre american"

Like ok shes being sarcastic back but it feels weird. I started bantering about how other countries also say soccer (australia, south africa, new guinea) and she says "yes but only in the US and canada you haveto clarify what you mean when you say football because yall stole the name."

This confused me cuz tf you mean "you stole the name." First off I didn't do shit, second off how the fuck do you steal a sport? I said exactly that and she replies with "Nothing in america is your own" and holy shit im actually defending america wtf. This is not like me. But im not defending its history or its government, im defending the culture of it cus thats honestly the only good part of it. So respond with a cheeky lil "and isnt that beautiful" and she says "its yall being stupid."

I say "its a melting pot" and she says "a melting pot takes inspiration." I got a lil pissed at this because ok so did immigrants and enslaved people just spawn here? Did they steal their own cultures from their home countries?

They went on for a bit about how america is built off of appropriation, which it is fair that cultures are constantly being appropriated, but there are also cultures constantly being celebrated and fused, and that fusion and appreciation is what has the lasting impact.

I say this and she says "whatever im not arguing with an American" which of course I have to shit headedly respond with "imagine being reductive sorry I'm different than you"

She then responds with "bitch ur white" which yes. But does that mean I dont come from a diverse background and dont have culture? I respond "Yes and I live in a wonderfully diverse city of people who come from different cultures that I learn about and respect and love" and girl goes "those places dont exist in america" THEN WHERE AM I??? SPAIN???

We are literally in one of the most diverse and culture-rich cities in the south (ill give you 3 guesses) and she is saying that there isnt diversity and respect anywhere in america.

Skip forward a bit, she says that america has no culture, then corrects that to say "white america has no culture." That fucked with me a bit because its sus as shit to use the idea of "white america" and "poc america" in an argument. I said that and said that you can't give a concrete definition to "white culture" or "black culture" or "latine culture" cuz thats literally stereotyping

She said that prayer is a big part of indian culture, but isnt necessarily an overall truth for every person, which is fair. So I said then wouldn't American culture be like the national anthem. She said no because every country had a national anthem. I said that prayers are part of other cultures too, but that doesnt take away from the fact that theyre parts of other cultures too.

She then said that the national anthem isnt culture because "thats only for white people" and "a lot of america is only for white people (meaning its been used to disenfranchise poc people but she worded it in a way that sounded a smidge racist but no shade) And I said yea it fucking sucks and its forced upon us but its still well known. Theres no way that prayer isn't used to disenfranchise religious minorities in India, but its still culture.

She then said that white culture and american culture isnt a thing but black and latine culture is, (which tbh neither of us can really speak on, I was mainly discussing the american and latine element cuz I can speak on those) and I said that denying that american culture is just a mix of cultures evolving parallel over time simply because a bunch of shitty white guys founded the country is ignoring the people who have worked hard to make america their home and to carve out a spot for their own culture in this country. Just because people fucking sucked (like they have in the history of every fucking country ever) doesn't mean that people arent working to make the world better in their wake.

She said that poc culture in america stems from years of oppression. I agreed, but I said that racism and oppression isnt an America-exclusive thing. She then said, pretty out of the blue, that " for you to deny that their culture stems from oppression is racist." I said "when did I deny that." She said "you said you dont deny that what youre denying is racist. So that means you're being racist."

This confused me, so I asked "where did I deny that something was racist." Also I'm pre law, so I started getting a lil pre-law-y here. Don't judge me its a survival instinct I got from my parents lmao. She said "I said if you refuse to accept that black and brown cultures are real youre being racist." I said "show me what message I said that."

She said "chill babe theres no need to get defensive" which is literally the worst thing to say to me because boom youve made me into a defense attorney. I hate being patronized. I said "I am not being defensive, you are making accusations with no regard for evidence." (my profs would like that line)

She goes "this isnt a court of law girl" ok girl you act like youre gonna say that america doesnt have culture and then call me racist? I really just wanted this to end so I pulled out the mccartheyism card and said "you cant red scare roundabout logic your way out of being reductive and oversimplifying an enormously widespread country." and we were done. I know I ended it on an accusatory note which I hate, but I feel like shes ignoring so much thats literally going on in front of her face. Did I go too far? I know that I did and I shouldn'tve started the "youre being reductive" circle, but genuinely, the cure to culture shock isnt to be indignant about every difference you see, its to accept it. Its the same in literally every country. You cant just say "no I dont want to."

[spellscarred]

Self Dx are not real. Do not encourage this. Especially as a mental health professional you call yourself. Encourage people to go get a proper evaluation and diagnosis. Anyone can self Dx themselves with anything, it’s completely invalid to self dx and offensive to those who have been through the actual process of it.

Alright, as a mental health professional I completely disagree with you, for several reasons.

First of all, it's very classist of you to make this claim. Sincerely. There are plenty of people who can't get a professional diagnosis, because it costs a lot of money. It's great if you're in the position to get diagnosis or long-term therapy, but there's a lot of people who aren't financially capable of sustaining or affording this.

Second, professionals know near to nothing about autism in practice, and I was misdiagnosed for years, even after doing an "autism test" during my diagnostic evaluation, and I did CBT for a while before the psychologist concluded that it wasn't working, and then I finally got my autism diagnosis. After that, they dumped me because there was nothing more they could do for me aside from, "oh, I guess read some stuff about it?" In my professional life, this is a reoccurring theme, where I have to tell people what autism is and isn't. The DSM-V criteria is, while better than its previous iterations, incredibly flawed and stereotyped, and that's me being very generous — and this criteria is all most professionals know about autism.

Third, the only time an autism diagnosis will help you is for getting the accommodations you might need, such as additional help in school or disability welfare from the government. In all other instances it might actually harm you because we live in an incredibly ableist society that will punish you for not being productive to able-bodied or neurotypical standards. There's also the little fact that actual professionals won't give you a diagnosis, not because you might not have a neurodevelopmental "disorder" (see: autism or ADHD), but because the diagnosis in your situation will do you more harm than good! From this ask, I assume you don't even know that's a thing.

Fourth, please don't state your opinions as facts. You think it's invaliditing and offensive. I certainly don't. If viewing their experiences in an autistic light gets people to better balance and compassion towards themselves in their life, I'm all for it. Yes, even if it turns out, in the end, that it's not autism after all, but a secret third thing.

— Fun fact, back in ye olden days (70s and back), the autistic and psychotic communities were inextricably connected, because autistic kids weren't diagnosed as autistic, but as "childhood onset schizophrenic". To the professional mental health community, we were all considered schizophrenic, because of the lack of knowledge and understanding, and the big overlap between autistic symptoms and negative psychotic symptoms. Someone self-dxing (usually not in a whim either) as autistic might not be autistic, but they might be psychotic or another form of neurodivergent. I refuse to pull support for people who clearly need it just because they framed their experiences under a "wrong label". Psychology is fucking complex but people needing support really isn't.

Surprise surprise, it's so much more important to me that people get the help and support they need than the purity of labels, especially where something like autism is concerned. And I say this as a mental health professional professionally diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder for 13 years now. You know, since that is part of your validity criteria.

An autism diagnosis doesn't really do shit in practice. The community can help each other so much better than any mental health professional can, and I will help people, with everything I know and have learned and will continue to learn, with or without your approval.

[emypony]

fucking sick and tired of this dogshit country only making laws for people who can benefit from it due to having connections and knowing higher ups and basically taking advantage of nepotisms

fuck the romanian government and their shitty "laws" that are supposed to help someone starting out but instead they are vestiges meant to suck out all the soul away from you

go get a job!

now find an apartment to rent!

now go get the owner of the apartment to go with you to register you in the space!

make sure you write this apartment is FOR LIVING HAHA WHAT IF YOU'RE RENTING IT TO STORE THINGS HUH???? WE THE GOVERNMENT MUST MAKE SURE YOU AREN'T RICH!!!!!!!!!!!

get your documents!

wait 4 hours in line for said documents!

also go to work in the meantime, btw, and hope for a decent-ish boss! good luck calling and searching and visiting apartments to live in all while this is happening and explaining this to landlords who don't want to pay for your health insurance (a requirement now) as well as renter tax! haha! hahahahaha!

job sucks? barely make it through 3 months crying almost every night and wishing to kill yourself maybe?? praying to god a car hits you on the way to and from work is TOTALLY normal! im sure!

finally out of the shitty job that destroyed you mentally and physically? good luck finding a new one?

oh you found one where it might be decent well SUCKS TO BE YOU BUDDY, all entry level jobs only offer work employment contracts on either 3, 6, or 12 months with the possibility of renewal but NEVER an undetermined period!

oh what's that? you didn't know? you need to be hired at a place that does an undetermined contract for it to count, also you have 30 days and GOOD LUCK if you don't have anyone to help you with money in the meantime.

if you're on your own you're better off dead!

LIKE JUST KILL ME AT THIS POINT JUST TAKE ME OUT

the fucking. WAY you have to prove to the government you're actually piss poor just to get a fucking bone to chew on is insane

if i knew it was THIS much fucking trouble to get a small help from the government i would have just fucking stayed home instead!

ive been through this hell since february and at this point i did not even see one fucking cent from the government even though i should have gotten at least one month's worth

no fucking wonder people are killing themselves left and right. survival isn't living and quite frankly im tired of this shit

tired of doing my best and working so fucking hard and taking so much shit and for what

have the rug pulled out from under your feet

either work a soul crushing job where you end up a shell of a person just to be able to afford to buy food and have a roof over your house or just go HOMELESS i guess ! if you have no one you're FUCKED good luck BOZO

a rapture sounds pretty damn good rn. come on you can just concentrate it real good and smite me on the spot and put me out of my fucking misery

at this point i am just considering forgoing that money all together it is so not worth my mental fucking sanity and my physical wellbeing

the STRESS it has caused me over the past months! i've just up and had it with this piece of shit !